#that's already growth
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rowenabean · 2 months ago
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#didn't have a big party for my 30th for reasons that were partly distance and partly insecurities/depression#this year being back closer to where my people are decided to do a big party instead this weekend#my first since my 21st (which was... a struggle for also distance related reasons and may have reinforced said insecurities)#i am having to remind myself. i am doing my best none of us get to practice this life#interrupting this to say i just mindlessly slapped at a tickle on my arm only to discover it was HUGE#not the sandflies we've been getting all day but a moth or something at least a cm big! (i grabbed it and threw it away without looking)#anyway. what was i saying. having a little moment where my insecurities are coming back in the middle of the night#and i wonder if i have - again - asked for less than i truly want because i didn't feel like anyone would give the full thing to me#but the point is: i asked for something i wanted and that's something that takes practice. and the point is: i get to try again next year a#d next year and next year. and the point is: we only live this life once but it is not a short life and there will be more chances#to celebrate with the people i love. to ask for what i want. to learn to listen to what i actually want before i make myself smaller out#of habit#but i DID ask for a party and i DID ask for someone who isn't me to host it (a thing i haven't asked for since probably my 21st tbh) and#that's already growth#and it will be fun! i'm a bit sad that no one from my most recent chapter of life can be there but it's no secret that social was hard ther#so i only have 3 friends i wanted to invite anyway and all of them live several hours away#(and one of them i knew couldn't come already when i planned it - she's at a hens party - but we talked about it and decided to go ahead)#idk. really it's ok. but part of why i'm doing this is as a challenge to my own insecurities (as well as because it will be fun!) and i#really pray this year will see some of those insecurities dwindling. that i will be able to really believe that i am lovable and loved.#that's my prayer.
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notquiteaghost · 2 years ago
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re: that fucking staff post. obviously death to algorithms, but i also wanna interrogate the wider underlying assumptions of their logic there cuz. is 'success' having lots of followers & lots of popular posts??? why is that the end goal of using this website. i don't open tumblr to get attention from strangers, i open tumblr to read funny jokes and interesting commentary and to see cool art. encouraging clout-chasing will only increase user engagement if you successfully get people literally addicted to the associated dopamine hit. what if we didn't have to do that!!! what if a website could be a place you went to on purpose because you had fun there!!!!
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thelesbianluthor · 3 months ago
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I know some people think that Emily's desire to play another character instead of Fig was the reason why she was so all over the place and lost, especially in the first half of JY.
But I honestly feel like her arc was actually incredibly needed and necessary to close her character evolution in a satisfying way. (While still leaving open doors for possible future plots with the Dawn and Sandra Lynn stuff)
Fig has been struggling to find herself since the first moment. She has had to come to terms with being a completely different race than what she thought before and deal with all the consequences of that. She had to grow out of the toxic habits that were born out of her deeply rooted insecurities that finding out about her identity and lineage caused. She had to learn to be kinder to herself. I love sophomore year, it's my favorite season for so many reasons, but I feel like Fig's arc in JY was actually her best one.
Fig being so lonely at the start of the show and her innate devotion made her becoming so focused on holding others' needs over her own an inevitability. She was always aimlessly moving through life, so talented and gifted in many ways but with no real purpose outside of being the protector.
The way JY explored her struggles with introspection and her need to devote herself to others to such an extent that she ignored a curse on herself for far too long was beautiful.
Finding Ankarna, becoming a paladin of dawn and justice and coming to a point where she could let herself choose what felt right instead of what her friends needed was incredible to watch.
I feel like Junior Year gets a lot of criticism because the overall vibe from the IH was lighter and they were having a lot of fun throughout, but the story of the season was actually beautiful to me and the overall character work was so interesting.
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monotone-artist · 7 months ago
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hello please click images for better quality oh my god tumblr whyy
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[id in alt]
maria shows shadow how to play dress-up (she's always wanted to do it with someone else)
thank u @fly-sky-high-09 for the request, i had a lot of fun with this hehe
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mayasaura · 2 years ago
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I don't wanna further hijack that poor poll, but the thing about Harrow's schizophrenia is that it's canon. The author has confirmed it, and shared that it's based on her own experience.
It's a pretty obscure bit of canon, so of course there's no shame in not already knowing, but that's why I'm so obnoxiously persistent about letting people know.
Whatever else is up with Harrow, autism or cptsd or any number of likely headcanons, she is also schizophrenic. I feel like that's too important to be handwaved away as a difference of opinion.
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its-ate-oclock-somewhere · 11 months ago
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Futamono Flower Meaning
So you're telling me that the very night after Will whore Graham sent someone to murder Hannibal simp Lecter, the man created this?!
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aprilblossomgirl · 24 days ago
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And it’s because of you that I realized this all-kill means more than just keeping MARS alive. It’s about saving ourselves from this world. MARS will conquer the world that tells us to rush, that tells us to abandon each other to be number one. But we will prove that we are the group that will walk together, supporting each other from behind, being a safe zone when we need comfort, a cushion to support us when we fail and rise again, just like what you’ve done for me. And because of you, MARS is rebuilt with that meaning.
ThamePo Heart That Skips a Beat | Ep.12
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justc2world · 13 days ago
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It seems like Williams was meant to be his home all along 🥹🥹
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teehee-vibes · 1 year ago
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Old habits die hard
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deoidesign · 5 months ago
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One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)
We all start somewhere!
#picked these cause they're in a similar pose lol. i mean not at all. but sort of... more than my other art at least...#oh fuck im so tired im saving this to drafts and coming back later#my anxiety meds wipe me the fuck out so im trying not to take them in the day#and they're like legit borderline a sleeping med for me. i take one and in 30 mins im OUT.#so I'm. i mean i was already only taking 1-2 in the day and then 2-3 at night#anyways it makes me sad when people say they dont have an artistic bone in their body#and especially when they say they could never draw like me :(#dont put yourself down to lift me up! i don't want my art to be used for you to be mean to yourself!!!#lots of experiences of people comparing themselves to me and being mean to themself...#feels bad. it's okay if you're slow it's okay to be learning it's okay!!!#I'm me and you're you and we're here to learn from each other. i just wanna hang out..#y'know what I'm just gonna post without saying anything i WILL forget I made a draft#i have so many things i intend to post and then forget#it's a wonder I post anything#i only do it when i get bored. and run out of stuff to scroll through#like whelp. guess if i want a post I have to make one myself.#also the second one is really good idc that it's a study i still drew it#art growth#this was in 2010 btw#i started highschool in 2011#I've grown a lot and you can too.#also I've never really been one to dislike my old art. like idk I was trying... if it's bad I just won't look at it whatever#like i wouldn't be mean to someone else who made that so i don't get a free pass to be mean just cause it's to me#man my thoughts are bungled. okay sleep time#if my phone made typos you didn't see it
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when i'm in a Character Development Fumbling Competition and my opponent is whatever fucking writers handled earthspark starscream after season one
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premamelody · 29 days ago
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living
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arduousgrace · 2 months ago
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mayasdeluca · 9 months ago
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MAYA BISHOP IN EVERY EPISODE OF STATION 19 SEVEN SEASONS (2018-2024) 104/105 EPISODES
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animatedjen · 8 months ago
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Aftermath | Jedi Survivor
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pocketgalaxies · 1 month ago
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ya i mean if we're looking at the campaigns as a narrative existing in a vacuum then i would personally have a hard time arguing that vax's return makes for a better story than if he died forever. and as someone who consumes critical role as a narrative completely separate from myself, i do v much wish he didn't come back, and i think keyleth's story would have been richer for it. but it's a dnd game and no narrative exists in a vacuum and every story is influenced to some degree by the desires and indulgences of the creators, and in this case maybe the creators said "hey we kinda want a warm and fuzzy and hopeful and full-circle happy ending that, on a meta level, connects the end of our first and our third campaigns." and that's also fine! because sometimes you just want your beloved characters to be indulged, even if it might detract from the poetic meaning of the story. sometimes you just want them to be happy, because you love them.
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