#that’s the thing i’m sensitive about
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STOP
i’m gonna have feelings
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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and Eddie’s voice would’ve been the one HURTING him then
i’m gonna kms
#stop#that’s the thing i’m sensitive about#911 abc#911 on abc#911 on fox#evan buckley#oliver stark#adhd evan buckley#adhd!evan buckley#actually adhd#adhd#adhd rsd#rsd#audhd#autism#moral ocd#overstimulated#lawsuit arc#lena bosko#eddie diaz#bobby nash#buddie#twitter
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Characters who have the same problem as me:
Donatello Hamato (rottmnt)
Sakura Haruno
Saitama
The problem: a massive forehead.
#wabbystuffpost#that’s the thing I’m sensitive about#john mulaney#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt#Donatello#sakura haruno#sakura#naruto#naruto series#saitama#just a hero for fun#we share a collective genius#prolly not#one punch man#feel free to add more in the tags#this is a callout post
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“we’re officially gonna be family”
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Society: be yourself!
Me as a child: *be’s myself*
Society: ewww omg what is wrong with you! We said to be yourself not weird! We’re gonna reject you and make you an outsider!
Me: but I followed your rule of being myself? Why don’t you like me? What’s wrong with me? Why does everyone else get the rules that need to be followed but I don’t?
#growing up autistic#autism#actually autistic#autistic things#actually adhd#actually neurodiverse#adhd brain#adhd things#neurodiversity#autistic experiences#adhd memes#autistic things that aren’t talked about#rejection#social rejection#rejection sensitivity#autistic community#autism in girls#understanding autism#childhood autism#autism spectrum disorder#autistic spectrum#autistic adult#neurospicy#neurodiverse stuff#actually neurodivergent#neurodivergent#neurodivergencies#different#growing up different#i’m not normal
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I can’t believe a boyfriend made a silly sex joke to lighten the mood after both partners had a moment of vulnerability. The audacity. The horror. The normalcy! Unbelievable. How dare a conversation about feelings turn to levity. How dare a couple have a light chat about trauma-related things over dinner that doesn’t turn into an incredibly deep heart to heart instead of a joke and moving on. Unbelievable. I’m never watching this show again! 👎🏻
#911 spoilers#bucktommy#Evan buckley#Tommy kinard#look#as a queer person in a relationship with another queer person#both of whom have major familial trauma#trust me when I say you generally DONT WANT ever reference to your feelings and trauma to turn into a huge deep discussion#sometimes you just say something vulnerable#and the other person does too#and then you joke about it and move on#humour is powerful coping mechanism as well#one that is pretty common especially among guys#people need to freaking relax ffs#Tommy is not a horrible person for making a flirty joke#things were said and feelings were acknowledged#and then they moved on#this is all perfectly freaking natural#Buck is not some sensitive flower that can’t handle a silly joke about daddy issues#please I beg you all to look at this at a distance with some common sense#rather than the ‘but Buck is traumatized and must always be treated delicately!!’ lens#and I am saying all of this as someone who really doesn’t give two fucks about the joke itself#I’m not into daddy kink idgaf#but if the idea that a queer couple isn’t allowed to insert a flirty joke to lighten a moment of vulnerability#then I don’t know what to tell you#you personally finding something innapropriate does not mean it’s actually innapropriate#please just chill out ffs#no one wants to hear about how evil Tommy is for hitting on his boyfriend for months and months to come
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we’re autism4autism have i ever mentioned that
#YOU BET MY ASS I WILL SIT AND LISTEN HIM TALK ABOUT THE AERODYNAMIC DIFFERENCES IN PLANES#YOU BET MY ASS I WILL SIT THERE AND LISTEN TO HIM TALK WHILE HE WORKS ON HIS BIKE#literally my favorite thing to do is listen to people talk abt their special interest#I have learned more things in life by hearing people talk then I have ever learned in school#my sister is the reason I am so knowledgeable about w.we i know these all of these wrestlers just by listening to her and I love it ☝🏽#funky hanging on to every word I say as I talk about the regional differences and variants of my tamagotchis#‘have I ever told you about the one where you can send your tama.gotchi to go get a job. you have to give them a resume. they can reject you#‘I am madly in love with you.’#sorry I’m crazy i love this hc so much#THE REASON HE WEARS THE GLASSES ALL THE TIME EVERYWHERE ?? LIGHT SENSITIVITY ISSUES!!!!#THE REASON HE SEEMS SO ECCENTRIC AND ODD AMONG HIS PEERS SOMETIMES? MISSING SOCIAL CUES BABY!!!!!!!#I think it’s fun to think the coolest mf on the island is autistic LIKE I KNOW THATS RIGHTT 🔥🔥🔥🔥#ok sorry for rambling I love talking about this#doodles#self ship#self shipping#bipoc self ship#🦍🏄♂️🌊
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I’ve been trying to figure out how to describe the pain I feel at seeing all the Dead Boy Detectives stuff and love for it online without it coming across as hating on the show or the fandom lmao
Like “no don’t mind me crying you guys aren’t doing anything wrong and I’m so happy for you this just reminds me of a love I lost” type beat lol
#they are not the enemy#like truly no ill will the show looks great and I know everyone worked really hard#this is just the thing I’m sensitive about#lockwood and co#lockwood and co netflix#lockwood and co show#l&co#l&co. netflix#lockwood & co#lockwood#lockwood netflix#my post#commentary
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parents of disabled kids will be like “we know our kid is disabled but we just won’t tell them about it. we don’t want them to think they’re less valuable than other kids. we don’t want them to feel limited by their disability, we want them to know they’re capable of anything.”
meanwhile those kids are growing up thinking “why is everything so much harder for me than it is for everyone else? there’s no reason i shouldn’t be able to just do this. i guess i’m just a failed, broken person.”
#text post#ableism#like if you don’t want to get your kid diagnosed with something then that’s one thing#but not KNOWING what’s wrong with them isn’t gonna make the problem just magically disappear#and just personally speaking. SO MANY things i do that i used to feel such deep shame about?#i now realize they were because i’m autistic#the meltdowns the social awkwardness etc#and i feel so much better to know i wasn’t just being whiny or difficult or weird for no reason#i feel like my whole life i’ve been gaslighted into not knowing what i really feel#because everyone always told me i was being ‘dramatic’ or ‘too sensitive’ and eventually i decided they must be right#so now i literally can’t tell what i’m feeling sometimes#because i dismiss my own feelings as stupid and wrong
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Okay but for all we know Saw and his buddies picked Tech up (alive) on Eriadu.
#tech lives#okay actually for real despite the fact that I don’t think that necessarily happened#I would love to see Tech and Saw interact#because despite everything Saw hasn’t quite got to the “let it all burn’ stage#and like let’s say they met up later but before Tech has made it home and before anyone knows he’s alive#I can imagine Saw actually feeling kinda bad once he found out what happened#especially if there was some CX-ing involved#especially once it gets into ‘I need to find them I have a sister’#Saw: Oh no a sister that thing I’m sensitive about#Tech: She may still think I’m dead. She was watching#Saw: Oh nnnooo#Tech: She is thirteen years old#Saw: STOP I said I’d help you already#Saw’s Buddies: *shaking their heads*#Saw: Listen how was I supposed to know they brought their little sister on a mission like that#beeeccaaauuse yeah he didn’t know Omega was there he never saw her#I don’t think he even knew what happened#anyway I like Saw and I hope he and Tech meet up again because I think they’d both clash and get along in some interesting ways#(also like Tarkin is right there)
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One day I’ll go through med school and then I’ll go through residency and then I’ll go through a fellowship and then I’ll be the most crybaby neurosurgeon you could think of. Bursting into tears if I so much as graze ur hypothalamus with my forceps
#Yesterday I shadowed a neurologist for the first time and basically we got done seeing a patient who’s also a heart surgeon#And I turned to the doctor and was like Ok what do we do#The thing is this patient has dementia and we don’t really have a cure for that yet so the study he’s enrolling in is largely observational#Still I expected her to follow up on him in much more frequent increments#Instead this woman goes “we’ll see him in 6-9 months but… not even sure if he’ll be here by then sooo”#Basically implying he might be dead in a year#AND I WAS LIKE. Blown away by how blase she was#And ever since then a fiendish sort of melancholy followed me everywhere I went .#Bc I haven’t stopped thinking about the heart surgeon#I don’t get how she can stop thinking about him#I don’t understand people who can stop thinking about something like that#I know neurologists like her have seen patients come and go many a time but I was disturbed#So I made a pact w myself never to lose my humanity. Half of why I’m so into medicine is bc of its humane aspects#And in 10 years I’ll look back at this and hopefully still be just as annoyingly sensitive as I am today#I think I’m just overall disillusioned w how little humanity some people seem to have but that doesn’t mean I have to be that way too#p
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when you’re fat but your thin friends keep talking about how fat they are (when they’re not)
#personal#it happens too often lol#and i do and it depends on context ofc#but sometimessssss#ofc everyone has insecurities but when it’s presented as being fat is the worst thing :) hi :)#i’m supposed to say noooo no youre not ugly like me! like#they don’t mean it that way and people can say whatever they want#people genuinely are a bit sensitive about it all and it doesn’t actually offend me#it’s just funny at this point tbh#(and my friends are good and recognize it)#anyways#i’m not bitter genuinely i just thought of this meme for it and it fits too well
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'babe' and 'mister'.... I fear that the possible online daniel molloy age gap couple discourse next season(s) will become a real life thing once the s3 promo gets started
completely failed to consider the babe + mister combo. i need to take a walk and think about this. also you’re so right and i can’t wait. i need season 3 promo to get downright REPULSIVE with it. need people to be canceling daniel and armand’s relationship because eric and assad are too freaky about them
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One day I’m going to finish that essay or whatever it was in my drafts that’s about the themes of womanhood/relationships/thirtysomething stuff and TTPD but since part of this discussion has been revived on the dash but also it’s Saturday so this won’t ruffle as many feathers, I think one thing that sometimes gets lost in the shuffle in the conversation about the muses and stories in the lyrics is just why the recurring theme of the broken dreams pops up all over the album, and why they permeate the discussion of both muses, if not *all* the muses in the album.
Not to project things on Taylor, but it feels pretty clear to me* that the dreams she’s talking about specifically are about having a family, and that is the through line in the album, and why the successive blows devastated her. (*I don’t want to presume that anyone else feels this way and this is just my interpretation etc.)
The suburban gothic allegory in Fortnight depicting a miserable, lonely marriage. The ring on the ring finger in TTPD making her explode with joy because it was a shorthand for lifelong commitment. “He saw forever so he smashed it up” in My Boy. “I’m pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free” and dying on the sacrificial altar in So Long London. Marrying her wild boy in But Daddy. “Get the matches, toss the ashes off the ledge” in Fresh Out the Slammer (as in, she burned her life down). “You shit-talked me under the table talking rings and talking cradles” in loml. “The deflation of our dreaming leaving me bereft and reeling” in How Did It End. “Promises ocean deep and never to keep” in Peter. The allusion in The Manuscript that the man in question made her think he was in it for the potential of a serious commitment only for her to feel used when he moved on. And there are probably more examples I’m not thinking of off the top of my head here.
But what I’m trying to get at delicately is that from what she’s put down in TTPD, as well as what she’s put down in previous albums (“give you my wild, give you my child,” Paper Rings, Lover, renegade, YLM, etc.) building a life and a family with this person (Joe) was not only something she wanted, but seemingly deliberately planning and working towards. So in the death throes of the relationship, her grief was not just about things like losing someone she once loved, the breakdown of this relationship that was once comforting to her, what she gave up to make their life work, etc. but about this important thing she had dreamed of and what she seemed to feel was on the horizon. What I think I’m trying to say is that it had likely shifted at some point (even just based on the album pipeline) from a hypothetical “one day we’ll have ten kids and teach them how to dream” thing you wonder about with a partner to something that felt a lot more… tangible. (Again trying to be sensitive in my word choice/not project or assume things etc.)
I don’t want to make any accusations or assumptions on main, but I think those kind of life plans feeling within reach not only makes it understandable as to why someone would stay in a relationship whose cracks were turning into fault lines, but on the flip side why giving up on something that felt like it was on their doorstep would be so wholly devastating.
But it’s also why what happened in the two successive relationships *was* so devastating in the songs on the album, and why the Matty thing specifically was so twisted. He’d reentered her life and he’d insinuated himself back into her circle and gained her confidence which in turn led her to confide things in him (the “hostile takeovers” of it all, the whole bridge of The Smallest Man with its honey pot spy mission imagery in which like a mark he sweet talked her into sharing her most vulnerable, compromising “secrets” only to then turn it around to use her and ghost her like a trained operative). And given the way the family thing appears in both presumed storylines, it’s again because Muse #2 used the info gleaned about the life with Muse #1 to sell her a con about an alternate path to what she was mourning so deeply. (And why it’s such an unconscionable act because it’s manipulation, at least going by her own words about her experience of it. It’s as cavalier as the organ donor line in The Manuscript, with the same effect.)
The shittalking about rings and cradles is both of them (if not all of them) because in all cases, they ended up raising her hopes only to not plan on following through. One because he maybe couldn’t commit, one because maybe he was never serious about it. (And the one who did it first who was both 🥴.)
If I had to guess (because I am not Taylor so I will obviously never know any of this for sure besides picking up context clues), the dream was like a carrot dangling in her mind, feeling like this is what the “agony” to quote another one of her songs was for — like, things may be hard, but life is hard, and at least they were building towards *something* she felt they both wanted. And as that dream slipped through her fingers, it created a cascading series of events that crippled her emotionally for a time. So when she mourns that life in her songs, it’s almost like it’s the same dream, just in shifting contexts. The conman selling her dream back to her is comforting at first, but hits doubly hard and leaves her broke when it disappears.
The story throughout the muses on the album isn’t “she jumps to the person who promises her these things,” it’s that it’s a whole life she’s built that crumbles under the weight of reality knocking at the door and a foundation that shifts until it disintegrates. And losing that foundation and the dreams built upon it leaves her searching for answers in the wreckage — and looking elsewhere for clarity for a time. And it’s why it’s so hard to remove one muse from the other (or again, all of them), because that central driving force is used by each of them in different ways to build her up and take her down. And why working through the pain of one situation bleeds into that of another.
It’s hard to delve into this more without crossing boundaries or whatever, but it’s just such a palpable open wound in the album, but also why working through the pain in different contexts on TTPD brings to light all these different kinds of hurt but also the emotions that go along with them.
Anyway. That other essay will write itself at some point idk.
#I’m trying to word this very delicately and sensitively#without making it seem like I’m prying or speculating#which is why I’m trying to base this off the music#but it’s a fine line to tread because I think there’s probably a deeper discussion to be had but probably not fit for main#the starting a family thing is like. one of the main if not the main thing that jumps out at me in the album#and i think is what drives a lot of the themes on the album#that is such a powerful thing in a relationship *especially* for women in some contexts#and to me that is the like… inciting incident of the whole chain of events#and I could say more about what that makes me think but that may veer too much into speculation and parasocialism so i shan’t#writing letters addressed to the fire#the tortured poets department#the talking rings and talking cradles thing is just like… the centre of it all i think#because it’s woven through everything
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the pain of having the extreme RSD that comes with ADHD/autism is wanting to happily indulge in whatever you’re hyperfixating on and like. Tell everyone ever about it. but that Rejection Sensitive Fear™️ says “wtf lol don’t do that what if everyone thinks you’re weird”
#adhd#autism#neurodivergence#rsd#rejection sensitive dysphoria#hopefully i’m not the only one? i cant be the only one#if god exists tell him that he really fumbled with the whole rsd thing#this post isnt even about a certain hyperfix i have rn it’s just In General. i used to be open about it but now im kind of a scaredy cat!!
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#me#rote#fools assassin#Fitz and the fool spoilers#Fitz and the fool trilogy#realm of the elderlings#Robin Hobb why would you write this. why would you. why would you whyyyyy would you#do this to me#.#queen.#doesn’t she know that’s the thing I’m sensitive about#also. this adds a fun new layer to my daydreaming about fitzloved when I listen to ‘Peter’ by Taylor Swift#bc to me the bridge was the fool thinking about Fitz not returning through the pillars in fools fate#but now. oh nowwwwww#‘I won’t confess that I waited/but I let the lamp burn/as the men masqueraded I hoped you’d return’ hits DIFFERENT#FITZ!!! he hurts me
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mini-compilation of jack unmasking and being blatantly annoyed with everyone for worrying about him
totally not because he senses mild distrust and fear for sure
#cal.txt#this is as close to meta posting as I’m gonna get today I’m sorry#very tired and also don’t rlly care right now#spn#supernatural#jack kline#spn scripts#castiel#dean winchester#mary winchester#spn 14x15#spn 14x17#spn meta#jack meta#another thing id Love to explore is jacks defensiveness but I don’t think there’s enough material for that#like yea he’s very sensitive to how people see him. that’s about it#sighs dreamily#I’d also like to explore his body . who said that
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