#that would have pushed me over :')
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I've always been curious to know this about the people around me. Most people have been in severe pain, but in my experience few have had what they would say is their 10/10 experience. I guess it's just something I find fascinating, as I had my 10/10 experience quite young and I sometimes forget that not everyone has. In my opinion it changes your relationship with pain and how you engage with it afterwards. If you answered yes, feel free to elaborate on your circumstances in the tags!
(reblog for a bigger sample size etc)
#I was 13 and mine was after spinal fusion surgery for scoliosis. T6-L4 fusion and when i woke up in spinal shock it was agonising pain#they had to give me ketamine before the pain died down and even then it was only 9/10#i was on a fentanyl drip for a few days afterwards and ever 5mins and 50sec id be dosing myself#my dad would take over my button while i was sleeping and set a timer on his watch to push it at those intervals#it was the only way i could rest as without it id wake up in blinding pain#definitely the hardest experience of my life. sometimes i forget that i went through that and came out the other side.#polls#chronic pain#disability#spoonie#cripple punk#cripplepunk#the tags ive chosen kinda skew the balance in favour of the yes but idk what else to tag it with.#it would be interesting to see if other disabled people have also had a 10/10 and how common that is
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It really is so true that you never know what someone’s going through behind closed doors. I’ve made being gentle and kind my default bc I’ve had super put together friends disclose the most harrowing time of their lives to me and it’s like oh?? You were going through that???? I would’ve never guessed
#It’s easy to reduce people to side characters or caricatures but you never know. You truly never know what someone’s going through or what#Could push them over the edge. Cruelty will never be worth potentially causing someone permanent damage#I’ve realized this after having a conversation w a friend of mine who sailed straight to med school#Tons of leadership roles#Thriving social life#Yet she just told me her hair was falling out from anxiety. Never in a million years would I have guessed that she was struggling#But she was and lots of people play things close to their chest like that#I really wanna be kind each time I can and to also come from a place of compassion#Bc ik I’ve been misunderstood by people before who reduced me to a caricature or just didn’t know what was happening in my life#I want to actively work on extending the benefit of the doubt to the same people I would want to extend the benefit of the doubt to me
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Something I really like about timebomb is that Ekko actually knows what he's getting into.
I'm not really seeing it get talked about but in season 1 they mention that Ekko and the firelights help people addicted to shimmer get off it and lead more fulfilling lives within the community. I should probably rewatch the scene for the exact wording (might be misremembering tbh) but that comment implies A LOT.
First: Ekko's mission is helping people where he can, he would probably try and help Jinx even if he wasn't in love with her
Second: He has experience dealing with severe mental illness as that often goes hand in hand with drug abuse, namely depression/suicidal ideation like what Jinx was exhibiting
Third: He's probably mapped out best course of action FOR dealing with this and has already figured out his own limits/boundaries. Meaning he knew what he was getting into trying to talk Jinx out of suicide, and was thus more equipped to deal with the aftermath
Fourth: He's probably helped ex members of Silco's gang. The firelights seem to have a theme of healing and repairing and recovering, so they've probably also learned to forgive. If they're mission is to rebuild the lanes into a safe space, they can't exclude people they don't like, they have to make room for them. I think they fought Silco out of necessity, and I doubt Jinx would be the first person they help who's killed one of them.
These all might be a bit of a stretch but I think it really fits. Beyond that, it shows that Ekko can ACTUALLY help Jinx. As much as unconditional love can do, Ekko has the tools for Jinx's recovery and a path ready for her. He also probably knows that her "healthy" will look different from AU Powder's "healthy." On top of that, I expect he knows how to respect her even in the middle of psychotic breaks and won't agitate her already frail mental state
#if you would like to (respectfully) disagree with me I'll GLADLY talk with you. I can think of nothing but Arcane atm#timebomb#ekko arcane#putting it in the tags bc I want to let people agree with my timebomb takes without having to listen to my other ship opinions#uh on that note I have some Caitlyn and Vi opinions that go a bit hand in hand with this#but I think that in contrast Caitlyn and Vi are mutually self destructive#see neither of them seem to make the others mental health... better.#Vi is desperate and needs love wherever she can get it#and Caitlyn... I'm not sure. I have a hard time reading her but a lot of the vibes I get off her feel like she just likes having the power#over vi#I KNOW THAT'S A STRONG CLAIM#hear me out#Vi in her search for unconditional love does a lot of enabling#a good example is when Caitlyn arrests that henchman in episode 3(?)#Vi is VISIBLY uncomfortable with that and for good reason!#Caitlyn just locked someone up for life for... nothing?#kinda like Marcus did to her (yes Marcus was trying to protect her but I doubt that's how Vi sees it)#but Vi doesn't voice this or push Caitlyn on it#instead she asks Caitlyn not to change#not great communication on Vi's part#but also indicative of how little their values align#and how little Caitlyn actually considers Vi and her problems and history#Caitlyn doesn't help Vi heal and she turns on Vi the second Vi stops enabling her and letting Caitlyn do as she thinks is best#neither of them are ready to deal with the others problems or communicate well#again. willing to discuss this. my opinions are swayable.#I just personally found Caitlyn made the most sense and was most compelling when she was going down facist dictator path#sure she could be more but I don't think the show ever really transitioned her away from that#you can see it in the way she treats Maddy#hhhhhh I should go to bed rather than spill every last thought I've ever had
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Look I´m a full believer that you should ship what you want and not harass others for their ships BUT
Lately on the Sauron/Mairon tag I´ve seen some people say he wouldn´t be interested in men!??!? Like I´m sorry to break it to you but he literally saw the most beautiful woman to ever exist and instead of thinking about his own desires he instantly thought "my boss would be so proud of me if I gave her to him."
WHAT´S NOT GAY ABOUT THAT CREATURE!?!??!?
Also on a smaller note the few posts that say Sauron could NEVER be gay are literally calling people weird for shipping him with men?? So, could we please just go back to shipping the mass murder with who we want to and stop bothering others with who they ship him with?? No?
So ship who you want and have fun, talk with those who ship the same and all that, but don´t go in and accuse others for having the wrong ship :)
EDIT: just to make sure everyone understands I DON´T IN ANY WAY SUPPORT PEOPLE WHO POLICE SHIPS OR SHAME PEOPLE FOR THEIR SHIP OR ACCUSING THEM OF NOT FOLLOWING CANON ETC ship who you want and don´t bother people who have another ship and try to "teach" them about your ship if they don´t ask for it.
#go enjoy the show for all i care but pleeeaaassseee dont act as if its canon#and you know it would be better if it was only tagged the show but over half of those posts where tagged as silm#and that is very very confusing to me as it wasnt relevant to the books only the show#tolkien#silmarillion#sauron#mairon#angbang#because that was what the whole luthien thing was about 🙃#to make melkor happy right?#lotr#thats what i love with tolkiens books#a lot of the ships are up to you and how you read the characters#but even if you dont read them as a ship that doesnt take their queerness or friendship away :)#also the ship people are pushing on him makes no sense in the books??#like it clearly does in the show and those who like it should enjoy it#but its just so double moral of them to tell others usually book readers that their ship based on canon is wrong#on that note i would like to say i love shipping people in books who have never meet
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A Cut From Every Cloth
Series of vintage photo mockups to commemorate Tarsier Studios turning 20 this year, featuring the main members of their pantheon in cultural clothing
Outfit descriptions and references below
Little Nightmares
Six - Japanese hakama, haori, and hair ornaments Mono - Swedish Dalarna suit Runaway - Embroidered Baju Melayu with headwrap
LittleBigPlanet Vita and Tearaway Unfolded
Sunshine - 19th-century Yorkshire dress with bonnet and lace shawl Atoi - Scottish tartan kilt and flat cap Sean - Regency-era suit with cybernetic motifs Flounder - Ringmaster uniform with Russian punk rock motifs Marianne - French folk dress with gothic accessories Otis - Appalachian denim overalls with decorative trim
The Stretchers, Statik, and Fists of Plastic
Red medic - Mexican serape wrap and sombrero Blue medic - Zoot suit with fedora and metallic accessories Dr. Ingen - Victorian pinstripe suit Hero - Hainanese bamboo dance costume
The City of Metronome
Ten - Irish-inspired coordination with walking hat and Galway boots New - Bai and Hmong Hoa-inspired outfit with traditional headdress and Hong Kong embroidery
#I HAVE BEEN GRINDING ON THIS PROJECT FOR THE PAST MONTH.. AUGOAHGDK#I gave myself the personal deadline of july 1st because it’s what pops up when you search ‘tarsier studios founding’#no idea where that date came from because all reliable sources only give the year#regardless!! It’s the push I needed to finish this thing in the way I wanted#i needed another exercise in self-discipline aksdfkds after getting over the initial hurdle of starting i would get so excited abt progress#plus studying all these unique designs was rly fun and it pushed me out of my comfort zone (still had to add some personal touches tho)#i guess this is just my way of saying thank you to them for inspiring me and that I really look up to their work. iykyk#keiArt#tarsier studios#little nightmares#little nightmares 2#secrets of the maw#little big planet#littlebigplanet#little big planet vita#lbp#tearaway#tearaway unfolded#the stretchers#statik#statik institute of retention#city of metronome#the city of metronome#mono soup#ln six#ln mono#ln runaway#vintage#vintage photography#digital art
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2024 —my year in writing
last year, i wrote more than i ever have like literally in my whole life. this year i beat my record by about 200k words. i am writing A LOT and it’s all because of you.
yes, you, reading this now. anyone who kudos’d or commented or liked or reblogged anything i wrote, and followed me here and on ao3, and ranted in my dms and added me to servers. you, reading the weird things i write, the things i can only write and only i can write, seeing it and liking it and coming back again and again for more. thank you :)
so here’s my 2024 summary:
words written: 358,963
fics published: 74
my favorite fics:
real world (stardew valley) - a story about parenthood and roads not taken. genuinely the most important story to me, a diary entry as much as fanfic
pilgrimage (bg3) - a story about two people without a past as they work toward an even more uncertain future. i also have no past because of a strange upbringing so this story is kinda personal to me even though it’s about a cleric and a vampire
novel (hades) - a story about looking for adventure and finding love and family instead. i had so much fun writing this and posted weekly without pre-writing which was a challenge but it all worked out
patchwork self (datv) - a story about finding pieces of your brother in yourself. i wrote a lot of structured fic this year and i think this one flowed the easiest and was the most precise in how it delivered the message i was trying to get across, also it’s gen which i never write
my most written pairing: thanzag with 11 stories! not surprising since ive spent most of the year humiliating myself over thanatos
my most used tags: romance, introspection, character study
what i learned: i learned above all to trust myself! this year i wrote and completed three multi chapter fics that i didn’t prewrite and posted week by week until it was done. i’ve never been able to do that before but this year i just did it and didn’t overthink it, and i trusted that i could finish the stories and i did lol i can do anything i think i just have to trust myself a little
what i want to write next year: i would like very much to write something original, i have a loose idea so i just need to sit down and write so my goal is really small and simple, hopefully i don’t let myself down
#2024 wrapped#my writing#in like 2 months im moving west to the other side of this country…… its going to be scary but I believe this new start will push me to#write my story#i can do it lol i know i can i just have to be serious about it#anyway thank you for like not exaggerating thank you for my life lol#idk what i would be doing if i wasn’t writing#so you reading anything i write means the world to me like genuinely#thank you :) and here’s to 300k more words next year#and if like 10k of that can be original that would be cool too lol#also not to gross anyone out but oh god someone’s gonna block me over this but i wrote every single one of these 359k words on my phone#on the google docs app lol#Throw tomatoes#🍅
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Seriously how can M*r*uders stans like random Slytherins (who tf are Evan Rosier, Pandora (is that Luna's mum and why tf is she Evan Rosier's twin in half of these), and I don't even want to discuss Regulus) and make them Actually Misunderstood Good People Who Were Forced Down That Path when at least one of them *coughreguluscough* was obsessed with Voldemort
And then turn around and make Snape an awful person?
#i saw a post with hcs about the marauders and the “slytherin skittles”#and i swear to god they gave everyone a lil nuance but snape was evil#just... how?????#im starting to wonder if they just can't accept that the marauders were actually horrible people as teens#and so in order to digest that they need to make snape awful to be like “Oh but he DESERVED it because he's So Awful”#it's just ridiculous#like i hate james but i can also acknowledge that he did ultimately love lily and harry and would have been a loving partner and dad#even if he was a fool#and i don't vibe well with sirius but i also acknowledge that he was fucking traumatised so yeah he wouldn't be the best person#why is it so hard for the marauders stans to understand that their faves tormenting a geniunely innocent child#because honestly? severus was innocent from the start#they're the ones who pushed him over the edge#I've said it once and I'll it again:#being into the Dark Arts doesn't automatically make someone evil#anyway i need to go sleep#or at least try. i got very pissed lmao#severus snape#pro snape#anti marauders fandom#(not even anti marauders as much its their fandom that pisses me off)#also#anti james potter#(just because i want to be petty UwU)#snape defense#also you know what#anti regulus black#<-whoever he was it wasnt what the fandom said#in my mind he was one of the worst out of the black cousins from an early age#(mostly as a mental Fuck You to the stans lmao)
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Please please please do a Duke chart
The Feelings About Duke Thomas Alignment Chart
Jason, Tim, Cass, and Dick versions. Duke unfortunately suffers both from a lack of comics and a lack of interesting interactions - I am extrapolating a lot for everyone on the right side, and some placements are due to personal preference. All I know is that everyone loves him <3. Open to change!
#duke thomas#jason todd#tim drake#cassandra cain#bruce wayne#dick grayson#stephanie brown#damian wayne#barbara gordon#ask#look at the end of the day i do have to push my dick and duke agenda which is why dick is on the right side#their striking similarities (which dick himself has acknowledged) would push dick to the right i think (added to duke's dislike of him)#also jason could be higher but i didn't want him to cover cass and bruce (who have more interactions with him and therefore higher place)#damian cass bruce are DEF the biggest duke fans with jason close runner up#also the time tim and duke were winning a poll over dick and duke like don't make me MAD they haven't had a single good interaction EVER#dc if you're listening pls i need dick duke and dami duke interactions#the poc robin trio could be so good if they wrote it#anyway live laugh love duke thomas
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does it drive you crazy how benson and randy are two sides of the same coin
They both very easily could have switched places when dealing with their trama benson who could have been the quiet one and tries to make himself as small as possible doesnt want any issues and tries to just keep his head least he catch the attention of another abuser
and a randy who could have been angry at himself and the world for thinking he was incapable of anything and would be nothing more than his mistakes so he pushes and bites back doesnt let others tell him who or what he is self destructive in the loudest way
they are a glance into who they could have been and what they could be
#idk if this makes sense basically they are foils and it makes me insane#who could have had a randy who stabs 3 coworkers to death over chris poking fun at benson i dont think benson would eat the burger#cause i dont think that randy would wait long enough letting his explosive anger take hold pretty quickly#the passenger#the passenger 2023#randy bradley#benson the passenger#stockroom syndrome#ranson#ant posts stuff#that benson once being with this randy tho would push back more he also once comfortable runs his mouth
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Ai Di manhandling Chen Yi for @grapejuicegay (& me)
Chiang Tien as AI DI KISEKI: DEAR TO ME (2023)
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#nat chen#chen bowen#userspring#uservid#pdribs#userrain#userspicy#userjjessi#*cajedit#*gif#there's a lot going on in this set <3#but its here bc i know we all love chen yi yoinking ai di around all the time its v iconic but lest we forget#ai di can and will push chen yi's 6'1 ass around as well. when he wants to :)#like lets be real the only times he Cant or Has Difficulty is when chen yi is either 100% limp dead-weight#or when chen yi is using his whole strength against him#like. the only reason he doesnt break free when chen yi is physically CARRYING HIM IN HIS ARMS is because he DOESNT WANT TO#part of which i feel is bc. he likes it. he does. and part of which may be bc he doesnt want to fall or trip chen yi#and have them both fly ass-over-tea-kettle. cuz i feel like thats what would happen if ai di used his full strength at least#while being held several feet off the ground. like there would be blood#ive never seen a character encapsulate the word 'feral' more than ai di does.....im obsessed with him.#can you tell :)
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right now i'm essentially just working through the list of my less talked about ocs from the cyberpunk extended ocverse, with this time: rikki! she's the youngest of the valentine family, leader of a small gang known as santa madre (previously a branch of the valentinos), and she works at club bodytalk as security specializing in cargo transport, escorts, and pickup/dropoff gigs :D
taglist (opt in/out)
@velocitic, @deadrlngers, @euryalex, @ordinarymaine, @gurathins;
@mojaves, @shellibisshe, @dickytwister, @mnwlk, @rindemption;
@ncytiri, @calenhads, @noirapocalypto, @florbelles, @radioactiveshitstorm;
@strafethesesinners, @fashionablyfyrdraaca, @radioactive-synth, @katsigian, @estevnys;
@elgaravel, @aezyrraeshh, @carlosoliveiraa
#cp2077#cyberpunk 2077#art#art:rikki#nuclearocs#nuclearart#i love her so much and i really do NOT talk enough about her. she's so special to me#also really tall sorry i like doing that. but she's built like a stick so you can just push her over very easily#since she's born in night city and only half british (unlike her siblings) she would have the classic night city accent#but when she's been around her siblings the british side would jump out so much more but also she does use street slang a lot#idk i'm just imagining her saying gonk with a british accent. ok that's gonna be stuck in my head for a while now#anyway she's fun :] makes clothes together with harlowe... just in general does a lot of like. arts and crafts with him#ever since harlowe got adopted into the family the two have been inseparable... they hang out at the club a lot between work stuff ^_^
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walter white from breaking bad
Walter Hartwell White (Breaking Bad) is an Anime Girl!
#my name is walter hartwell white. i live at 308 negra arroyo lane albuquerque new mexico 87104. this is my confession. if youre watching thi#s tape im probably dead. murdered by my brother in law hank schrader. hank has been building a meth empire for over a year and using me as#is chemist. shortly after my 50th birthday hank came to me with a rather shocking proposition. he asked that i use my chemistry knowledge t#cook methamphetamine which he would then sell using his connections in the drug world. connections that he made through his career with the#DEA. i was... astounded. i always thought that hank was a very moral man and i was thrown. confused. but i was also particularily vulner#able at the time. something he knew and took advantage of. i was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. han#took me on a ride along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. and i was weak. i didnt want my family to#go into financial ruin so i agreed. every day i think back at that moment with regret. i quickly realized that i was in way over my head an#hank had a partner. a man named gustavo fring. a business man. hank essentially sold me into servitude to this man and when i tried to quit#fring threatened my family. i didnt know where to turn. eventually hank and fring had a falling out. from what i can gather hank was always#pushing for a greater share of the business to which fring flatly refused to give him and things escalated. fring was able to arrange uh i#uess you could call it a hit. on my brother in law. and failed but hank was seriously injured. and i ended up paying his medical bills whic#amounted to a little over 177000. upon recovery hank was bent on revenge working with a man named hector salamanca. he plotted to kill frin#and did so. in fact the bomb that he used was built by me and he gave me no option in it. i have often contemplated suicide but i am a cowa#d. i wanted to go to the police but i was frightened. hank had risen in the ranks to become head of the DEA and about that time to keep me#n line he took my children. for 3 months he kept them.my wife who up until that point had no idea of my criminal activities was horrified t#learn what i had done. why hank had taken our children. we were scared. i was in hell i hated myself for what i had brought upon my family.#recently i tried once again to quit to end this nightmare and in response he gave me this. i cant take this anymore. i live in fear every#ay that hank will kill me or worse hurt my family. i... all i could think to do was make this video in hope that the world will finally see#this man for what he really is.#breaking bad#walter white#your fave is an anime girl#your fave is#hall of fame
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I hate the stretch lines in the front of Curly's uniform because that means the devs rushed to make a model in like a month or so and thought "They gotta at least know he has huge knockers, gotta know he's got back pain." Cause like what is the thematic importance of his tits having overhang?
What responsibility is that representing? Breast reduction? It shows an inherent greed in his character due to the excess and heshouldletmeholdone and that he clearly is blinded cause if he tries to look down his damn ladder all he's seeing is his own cleavage.
#this is my curly slander post ig#disclaimer i need you to understand i see all fictional men i like as like butches Curly is no exception#but like they didnt need to add that many polygons to his chest like its unnessary and honestly a little mean he already has so many things#to handle and you expect him to hold those boys up like that just aint right this is like something so stupid but i know you can tell im#having strong feelings about it cause like what was the point why did they survive the fucking crash it has to be a injoke at this point#with the devs it shouldnt make me this mad im turning into a misandrist but only towards large chested men#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#shitpost#suggestive#ig because this is just about his chest but like also they made him objectively pretty for no reason like yeah like ideal man and work ig#but they went over the extra mile like i have a right to be mad they did that much for a model we see canonically for like two seconds its#crazy actually how little we see of curly pre crash because we also lose his physical movements to help characterize him the way we see#body language with the other characters and how it gives way to their struggles and personalities and sentiments in certain moments#like all he does and how he emotes is stifled by the fact we always play as him until the last moments where he takes over to try and save#the ship and crew and even right before that the scene is so wrought with tension we cant tell what that look he gave Jimmy meant due to#the limitations of the models and how stiff Curly is like was it fear acceptance denial we dont know enought about how he acts himself#to tell and then everything else is charaterized by what Jimmy had done to where we dont really just get to see Curly as himself like Anya#and Swansea and Daisuke we have no idea how theyd act in a regular moment outside of a few glimpses and even then it is them doing#their jobs like grrrr we hate an unreliable narrator but also its the fact jimmy clearly does not interact with them or try to outside of#his position as copilot and then captain harkening back to the entire capitlist view of utility and how he views all of them as useless eve#Curly which fandom tangent the fandom also tends to do to Curly as they base every trait on what they think he failed to do as Captain#between Jimmy and Anya when the QnAs kinda make him out to be a rather open and willing person but still someone who isnt like a push over#just thinking of QnA three where it mentions hes very open to trying new things and you need to be an open minded person to open urself up#to failure like that and ig this is just the weird view that Curly needs to learn that or that theres redemption he needs personality wise#verses healing and learning from trauma like idk its the idea that people assume he did abosultely nothing when the games points out direct#and throught parallels he was taking actions its just wasnt enough and an over focus on absolute inaction vs ineffective methods used to#tackle the issues and themes the game grapples with plus wanting someone to take the blame and have to make it up to Anya even tho#i think it would mean nothing from Curly because she saw his efforts and would be disappointed it wasnt enough but the idea she would#disregard the attempts or not acknoweldge Jimmy as the epicenter compared ot Curly is weird and too focused on someone
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I Guess You Just Don’t Love Me Anymore
GIF from @glowing-starlight on Tumblr
I was so taken by @ash-arts-but-sinful's post which mentions P being jealous of the cat and @oldworldghost’s post which contains the idea of him becoming more mischievous and sassy as he becomes human that I just had to write a little something, I hope it’s alright that I drew on your thoughts for some inspiration!
As a disclaimer, I haven’t finished my first play-through yet so this is more of a character study based off of what I’ve experienced in-game and what I’ve been seeing on Tumblr instead of delving heavily into the world-building and established story that exists within the game. So hopefully no spoilers and it’s very likely that this won’t at all line up with the in-game timeline.
Big thanks to @cupidsredcollar beloved for proofreading <3
For as long you had known Pinocchio you had never known him to be a jealous individual, in fact, when you’d first met that bleak, overcast morning in Hotel Krat you had been almost unsettled by his uncanny nature.
His features were perfectly human, aside from the metal prosthetic he’d been fitted with. He had freckles and soft hair, a face that looked fashioned from a real person instead of the smiling caricatures Krat’s puppets were usually fitted with.
But despite his boyish features, his face barely moved, he nodded along to Sophia as she gave him the task of locating his father, Mr. Geppetto, and tilted his head in question as Lady Antonia explained the concept of lying but his brows didn’t so much as pinch, his lips didn’t quirk and his eyes looked straight through you as you had wished him safety on his travels.
So watching in real time as he came into his own was something you cherished greatly, you continued to watch him grow and change, become something new. Pinocchio chose to spend a lot of his down time with you, he said he found you interesting, that you had a way of explaining humanity that made sense to him and over the last couple of weeks something had started to shift in him.
No, Pinocchio had never been a jealous individual, for as long as you’d known him.
Until today.
Your morning had started normally, woken up by the cool feeling of P’s lips against your forehead, human hand smoothing back your hair. He mumbled something about needing to go out, you tried to convince him to come back to bed, he tried to convince you to get up (he always wins).
P drags you down to the kitchen, you eat and he watches, something that was initially a little awkward but you’ve come to really look forward to, then you farewell each other at the rear entrance of the hotel.
He holds you close to his chest, resting his lips to your hairline and making you promise to look after yourself and your companions while he’s away, you make him promise to be careful though you know he’s not always able to, often catching glimpses of Sophia muttering blessings and incantations under her breath in the foyer.
“It’s just Ergo hunting today, I’ll be more than careful.” He whispers, human arm winding around your shoulder. You breathe him in, hands to his chest feeling the odd sensation of his heart, not quite a tick but not quite a beat.
You lean up to kiss against the slant of his jaw, his mechanical pulse jumping in response. He looks down at you, you catch the fondness in his blue eyes without mistake, he captures your lips in his, holding on for a second longer than he knows is necessary (it’s not like you mind though).
Lounging against the doorway, watching him walk towards the entrance of Elysion Boulevard, he turns and gives a last longing look over his shoulder before stepping through the wrought iron gates and disappearing from view.
You sigh, making your way back inside to start on your usual round of chores, helping where you could to take the load off of Polendina who needed more time to focus on Lady Antonia and her illness. You had just returned to the puppet butler for more tasks when you noticed movement on the top of the shelf behind the front desk.
Sitting tall and proud was Hotel Krat’s resident sweetheart, Spring, tail swishing steadily as she kept watch of the foyer from her perch. The white and orange cat jumped down to the desk as she noticed you, laying down across the dark wood and turning over in gesture for belly rubs; which you gave happily.
“She’s been very noisy today,” Polendina explained, stroking the cat, “I wonder what she’s trying to tell us?”
“Probably trying to manipulate us into giving her more treats, isn’t that right?” You accused lightly, you were sure that if he could, Polendina would be smiling.
“There is another load of laundry that needs folding, could I have a hand?” He asked politely.
“Of course Polendina.”
And it seemed you had found yourself a shadow, Spring making an unreasonable amount of noise as she followed you and Polendina around the hotel. She wound between your legs, chirruped in response to your voices and bumped her head against whatever part of your bodies were within her reach.
It was no surprise that Spring was loved by the inhabitants of the hotel, and it was very apparent that she loved them back, well everyone except for P. Not for lack of trying of course, he followed your advice of trying to build trust between him and the animal but she wouldn’t so much as let P touch her, hissing her disapproval for all to hear.
You’d often watch as P would recoil from Spring, the feline swiping and spitting at the puppet. You couldn’t tell from his expressions if the cat’s dislike for him bummed him out but sometimes as he lay next to you in bed he would lament quietly that Spring hated him, which would award him a sound of humoured pity and a kiss for the cheek.
It wasn’t clear what it was about P that set Spring off so aggressively. In all the time you had spent at Hotel Krat she’d never behaved in such an unfriendly way, even complete strangers who would seek refuge for short periods of time were welcome to interact with Spring freely.
She would bask in the attention. You hoped that she would eventually come around to the puppet, given it looked like he would be around for the long haul and you just knew the two would be the best of friends if she would stop being so nasty.
But P was patient, far more patient than you were and it showed as you folded and unfolded the same piece of linen for the third time without realising, Polendina placed a gloved hand over your own, silently relieving you of duty.
“Apologies, my mind seems to be elsewhere Polendina.”
“You worry for the boy, it’s only natural that your mind wanders.” You sometimes forget how long Polendina has been around, having been a close companion of Lady Antonia’s for decades. You had a feeling he knew more about human emotions than he let on, somehow he always knew what to say when it came to your thoughts surrounding Geppetto’s Puppet.
“I just can’t help it, and with him figuring out who he is, I fear he’ll get himself hurt by being too kind.” You wring your hands in your lap, focusing hard on the lines in your skin as you try to keep yourself from thinking of anything too awful.
“He has met humans who have given him trouble before and he has a good head on his shoulders. I would wager that you have nothing to worry about, but I understand that may not put your mind at ease.”
“It doesn’t but thank you.” Your hand went to Polendina’s shoulder with a smile. “I think I’m going to find something else to do, try and get my mind off of things.”
Polendina nodded once, going back to folding the linens, “I’ll send the boy your way when he returns.”
You smiled in earnest, appreciative of Polendina’s knowing kindness.
Spring, who had been lounging between you and Polendina, got up, stretching herself out and scampering over to your side. She meowed frantically to grasp your attention.
Her interruptions continued as you made your way around the kitchen. It wasn’t particularly dirty given how little it was being used now, however, the repetitive action of wiping down the countertops and sweeping the floor were just the distraction you were looking for.
Your ears perked up at the heavy steps of boots on marble floors, the jingle of P’s belt was something you could identify in your sleep. He stood tall in the doorway, all sweet smiles and fidgeting hands. Happy to see you, always happy to see you.
He was shockingly clean as he approached, resting his forehead to yours as his hands found their place on your waist, all the scolding about tracking oil and muck through the hotel was finally paying off.
You ran your hands over the intricate designs embossed onto the lapel of his coat, smoothing the fabric down before hooking your hands behind his neck.
“Welcome home, pretty boy.” You cooed, brushing your nose against his.
He liked the small intimacies you shared, bunny kisses you’d come to find were a favourite of his.
“You can go and relax if you want, I’m just cleaning.” You offered, but he shook his head.
Spring had also gotten bored of waiting on you, brushing up against your legs. So there you stood, sandwiched between your two favourite beings.
And two shadows wouldn’t be so bad if they would stop getting under foot, you laughed as Spring and P fought for your attention while you made your way around the kitchen.
P hovered close, slinging his arm around your waist as you tried to pass him. You stopped short as he pressed his face into your neck, leaning back against his chest and resting your hands over his wrist. You could feel him smile against your skin, a careful, small smile that only he could manage.
At that moment Spring took it upon herself to jump up onto the counter in front of you, hissing and swiping at P, he scowled and pulled you closer.
“Beast,” he scowled, you gaped at P, smacking the back of your hand at his chest.
“Don’t be horrible, she’s just protecting her territory,” you chided,
“I haven’t done anything to her, yet she spits at me.” He complained, you thought your ears might be playing tricks on you at the distinct sound of a whine in his tone.
“You love her.” You reminded smugly, a truth he was unable to escape.
“Yeah, unfortunately,” he mumbled, you pushed against his hold, trying to signal your want to move and he hesitantly loosened his grip. Hand ghosting over your waist as he watched you go, you threw a smile over your shoulder which he returned in kind.
You gave Spring a kiss on the head, letting her nuzzle her face against yours before scooping her up and putting her down on the floor where she went back to curling around your legs.
“Ah, so the cat gets a kiss but I don’t?” P asked. You snorted, flinging the rag you’d been using to polish the countertops over your shoulder.
You lent your hip against the counter and crossed your arms over your chest, “you never asked for a kiss, how was I supposed to know that’s what you wanted?”
“I feel like it was obvious.” He placed both of his hands on the counter, stretching his arms out straight as he pushed against the granite.
You rolled your eyes in jest, unable to keep the fond smile from creeping onto your face, playfully exasperated you closed the short distance between the two of you. Lifting up on your tip-toes to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth, he was quick to move his head once you’d pulled back. Hands to your waist and pulling you against him, sealing his lips to yours so quickly it pulled a sound of shock from your throat.
“What’s up with you today, you’ve been awfully touchy.” You teased, twisting the ends of his hair between your fingers. “Not that I’m complaining of course.”
“Missed you,” he murmured, pressing his lips to your forehead tenderly.
“I missed you too, always miss you when you’re gone.” You placed a hand on his cheek, thumb rubbing gently under his eye.
He pulled the rag from your shoulder and threw it behind you unceremoniously, taking your hand from his cheek to drag you out of the kitchen, a laugh bubbled out of your throat that P was happy to mischievously return.
He led you to the library, seating you at the piano and turning away to rifle through the sheet music stacked in a crate on the floor. He’d been getting better day by day.
His body wasn’t exactly built to do delicate actions but that never seemed to stop him, in fact, he was inexplicably drawn to all the soft parts of being human even if initially he was afraid to get it wrong. The last thing he’d ever want to do is hurt anyone close to him and for that reason he was acutely aware of the raw strength he possessed.
Though his conscious effort to be gentle made all the difference.
Spring decided she’d had enough of being ignored, jumping up onto the piano bench and brushing up against you, pressing close and then curling down next to you. P turned around, the particular book of sheet music he was searching for held up in his hand, his expression dropped almost comically as he noticed Spring’s position next to you, taking up what was going to be his spot.
“Move her,” he says simply, you throw your head back with a hearty laugh but P’s serious expression doesn’t change.
“No,” you start with a laugh, “Spring got here first, you’ll have to pull up a chair.”
P continued to stand his ground, you wondered if he hoped his very presence would annoy Spring enough that she’d disappear of her own accord, but the cat only opened one eye. She regarded P from her curled up position before nestling her chin back down into her tail.
It was like Spring knew she was in his spot and was smugly showing off to him, purring loudly.
“P, I’m not moving the cat. Just come and sit on the other side of me.” You insisted, watching as his unappreciated love for the animal won out and he stalked off to get a chair. You chuckled under your breath and passed your fingers through Spring’s soft fur.
“You are so mean to him, you know? He’s quite fond of you and I think you two would be very good friends if you gave him the chance.” You whispered to the cat who ignored you, continuing to purr unabashedly.
Unbeknownst to you, P watched your interaction with the feline from the doorway, his chest feeling warm in a way he wasn’t quite used to yet. Touched by your words that you thought were falling on deaf ears.
He gave in to your fondness for the cat, pulling his chair up next to you, fingers gently flitting across the keys as you hummed softly, head resting comfortably on his shoulder. He decided he didn’t mind this so much.
Late in the evening, however, he decided he did mind.
You were curled up in your bed a book in hand and Spring dozing lazily in your lap, he entered the room and his shoulders physically dropped.
“What’s the matter?” You asked, thumb placed between the pages of your book as a makeshift bookmark.
“Nothing,” he mumbled, sitting down unceremoniously on the edge of your bed to take off his shoes.
You placed the now forgotten book on your bedside cabinet, the act of sitting up a little difficult with the cat in your lap. You reached for his shoulder but he shrugged off your hand, trying to hide the action by stripping off his coat.
He stood and draped the coat over the back of your desk chair and moved to unbutton his waistcoat, all while staring down Spring with a scowl.
It clicked.
“Are you jealous of the cat?” You wanted deeply to believe that your Pinocchio was not jealous of a cat, but you couldn’t come up with a more sound explanation.
“I don’t know what that word means.” He lied, avoiding your gaze entirely, unbuckling his belt and dumping it on the desk, Gemini didn’t say anything so you assumed he mustn’t be awake.
“Yes you do,” you rolled your eyes, “I remember very clearly the conversation we had about it.”
He didn’t respond, turning his back to you and focusing his attention on rifling through the dresser drawer full of his clothes. The sleep clothes he was looking for were folded at the end of the bed.
“It’s okay that you’re jealous of-”
“I am not jealous.” Quick, concise and with no room for argument, he spun back on you. His snapping didn’t phase you.
“Uh huh,” you teased with a smirk, turning all your attention back to Spring who’d been ignoring your exchange.
Perhaps what you were doing was a little mean, given that before you hadn’t been ignoring him on purpose, but it was too fun an opportunity to pass up. P let out a disgruntled huff, shuffling around in your peripheral.
“I guess you just don’t love me anymore.” He offered with his arms crossed over his chest, your jaw dropped and a shocked laugh fell out of your open mouth.
“You take that back, immediately!” You snapped playfully, sitting up fully and annoying the cat enough for her to get up and move.
“Make me.” The challenge he’d levied would mean conceding to his childish behaviour but after all he’d been through, you thought it only fair.
You pulled the sheets back and stood from the bed, crossing the room to him. He tried to act as though he was uninterested, tried to pretend that your hands on his chest didn’t affect him, tried to ignore the speed of his heart as it hammered under your palm.
Your hands travelled the beaten path they always did, from his chest to his collarbone, then hooking behind his neck. Trying to pull him down was useless, like trying to topple a brick wall with bare hands, but you caught him staring out of the corner of his eye.
“Look at me.” Your whisper was a command, and he had always been faithful to a fault. “I love you.”
He tried to hide the oncoming smile, dropping his chin to his chest, but you were quick to guide his gaze back to yours. There was no way you’d be missing that careful grin. His eyes were soft and gentle when they met your own, there was hesitance in them that you didn’t want to see, so you kissed him.
He melted against you, arms winding around your back and pulling you against his chest, you hummed and he couldn’t stop the full blown grin from forming on his lips; breaking away to look at you like a giddy school boy.
“Are you going to take it back?” You asked, brushing your nose against his in a bunny kiss.
“Will I still get to kiss you if I do?” He joked, you rolled your eyes albeit in good nature, hands cradling his cheeks as he continued to smile.
“I think that can be arranged,” you mused, leaning in to kiss him again, the two of you falling into familiar rhythm with one another.
Spring slinked out of the partially open door, tail held high, she had seen more than enough.
#I started writing this in October when I had barely scratched the surface of the game#Still have not finished it though lmao#Also sorry for all the @’s I just wanted everyone to be properly credited and what not if that’s annoying lemme know and I’ll make sure it’#Do I know anything about anything? No#Also P talks a lot in this one#Controversial I know :o#I’m kidding#I realised after writing all of this out that the game takes place over like 3 days#So just suspend reality for me if you would#I am no stranger to lengthening the timeline to fit my selfish needs I will do it again in fact#And you will not complain because I wrote the puppet boy kissing YOU 🫵🏻#pushing my bunny kisses agenda once again#Lies of P x Reader#Pinocchio x Reader#Lies of P#Don’t ask me where the puppet is on the humanity scale because I do not know#jan 2024#Pretty Boy series#🦋 let your conscience be your guide
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i really would not change a single thing about the malec plotline (breakup and all) but sometimes i really do wish we got to see alec date at least one other person yk? and i dont mean that in a pre-cog focing himself to date a woman to hide his sexuality way, i mean in a post-breakup rebound/fling kinda way like i just know the drama would be legendary
#my favourite part is imagining how everyone would react like i do not think ANYONE would see it coming#i think magnus would be the most accepting of it actually. all he wants is alec to be happy and i think that at this point in the story some#part of him deep down doesn’t really think they were ever going to have that sort of demesticity anyway#imagining how robert would react is amusing me greatly#especially because i imagine no one told him abt the breat up(he thinks malec is still together)#bad ending is magnus leaves nyc forever and never goes back even after alec becomes counsul and legalizes gay/downworlder-shadowhunter#marrage. also alec never marries and dies at the tender age of 41 :((#good ending is they get their shit together and get married and adopt their kids!!#but what i really want to know is how alec would react to a new relationship#would he consider it serious? casual? when his partner is being cagy about their past would alec push or leave it be or would he think#it doesn’t matter? because it’s not magnus and let’s be real he’ll never he over magnus#would he let them call him alexander? in the early morning would he forget for one breif second that it wasn’t magnus with him?#would it be a nice respectable shadowhunter boy his age or would it be another powerful imortal downworlder older than literal countries?#i do think alec has a type. unfortunately#rafael sends magnus a gift basket when he founds out<3#i’ve speant a lot of time thinking about this actually#tsc#tmi#alec lightwood#the shadowhunter chronicles#the mortal instruments
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Hmm in terms of my own personal enjoyment, in my own PERSONAL opinion, DR >>>>>>>> Oni Trilogy
#This isn't me over hyping DR lol i just prefer watching it over OT#OT is so focused on realism and maturity it forgets to be so silly and fun too#I Prefer DRs approach#having a more lighthearted story which can go incredibly deep and feel Right#OT is so depressing that I can't enjoy the lighthearted moments#whereas DR is so fun that when it Does go for comedy in a hard-hitting story or moment#It Feels normal#Also the push to be more realistic w powers is stupid#The ninja would be spamming that shit every minute lol#Maybe i just don't like OT as much as I used to.#ninjago#ninjago dragons rising#raine's rambles#hot take#unpopular opinion#at least afaik
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