#that will help me cope
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arcanistsanctum is gone. we're back.
Update here.
Message below the cut is outdated.
Depressing news. I wake up today to not find the blog. I expected it to happen some time, but not this soon. If it got DMCA-ed, I'm supposed to receive a notice of the claims but I did not. So I plan to reach out to Tumblr Support soon regarding this.
Unfortunately, I didn't back up the blog. Not the contents nor the codes. I feel devastated. I regret not backing it up. I almost couldn't find the energy to claim it back. If we're not getting it back, honestly, I don't think I will be motivated enough to re-create it again. I'd say it was a good run and all that. But before that, I will try to get it back for you guys. And again, if not, I think the arcanistsanctum blog will deviate from archiving official media, especially if the reasons of the shutdown is DMCA or Copyright Infringement. I read the Reverse:1999 terms before, and all I can say is that they have ambiguous terms there, especially relating to copyright. Basically, they mentioned they reserve the right to take down content related to Reverse:1999 without explanation and warning. That may be the case here. I won't press too hard on that matter. It is their IP, after all. It is what it is.
This is the first time I had a tumblr blog taken down. I'm new to the processing and stuff, so (sigh) bear with me y'all.
Nothing changes for me uploading Reverse 1999 reaction videos in youtube. I'm still editing my reactions to 1.7 Version Update. I'll notify here once I publish the video.
I wish you guys well, and I apologize for the lack of preparation on my part. I'm not sure how soon we'll hear back from Tumblr. Until then, I can be contacted here. Of course, I'll update you guys on the status of arcanistsanctum here.
#arcanistsanctum#reverse 1999#good thing tomorrow i am scheduled to travel#that will help me cope#my heart truly sank#i love that blog#lot of my first time coding i poured into it#mannnnn#lesson learned for sure#but i'm still upset#this is as traumatic as that freaking orange
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spins him around trying to understand the pink mop he calls hair
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#itadori yuuji#yuuji#jjk#fanart#jjk fanart#yuuji itadori#sukuna#if u squint lmao#he is THE boy of all time i love him so very much#in my desperate attempts to make his hair look consistent i appear to have made it . wavy..#its not my fault i couldnt help it i was desperate i needed something other than spIKES#so i made a main swoopy bit to centre myself#lisen ok liSTEN if it works it works and this is my ref sheet now @ future me ur welcome :3#this was helpful but at the same time it certainly reinforced my hatred for Short Hair Back View#improvement hell . but it will get better . (coping)#every1 pick a favourite i lov the middle one . best front facing bust ive done in a minute <3
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Not a moment of rest.
#my art#goro akechi#persona 5#shuake#p5r#ren amamiya#persona 5 royal#akeshu#low key vent art but im doing better now :D#i started my post graduate and the week was just kinda A Lot#i rly need to open comms but anxiety nghngh#anw#akechi having a bad time always helps me cope I'm so sorry akechi
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i'm ready to try
#This drawing is kind of personal to me#I recently graduated (CUM LAUDE WOOOO!!!!) and its like. not to get depressing#but when i was younger i was never sure whether i would make it to this point#When i was going through what i consider to still be like. the worst time of my entire life#This fictional character was there for me and she was something for me to latch onto and cope with#eGem helped me a lot with being able to process my emotions at the time but also helped me to reflect on myself#which i think is a big reason as to why I'm really happy with where i am with myself right now#I'm going off to uni next school year to study astronomy!!! which!!!#Im also doing because of eGem!!! She ignited this kind of childlike wonder for space for me#I love doing math and physics and whilst Im still a bit scared because. honestly i don't know whether this is what i want to do with my lif#I think i'll be okay either way#either way i wanted to draw egem again even if i haven't done so in a while because its like#i think i wouldnt be who i am without her. i think i'd be a lot worse off#so like. thank you empires smp thank you geminitay thank you egem This drawing is me expressing my gratitude#AND THANK YOU AUTISM!#empires smp#empires smp s1#empiresblr#esmp#geminitay#art#fanart#alice.art#mcyt#mcytblr#song is andromeda by weyes blood... obv.. you guys know me by now :oP
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Ending my summer like her
#cecilia lisbon#aesthetic#coquette#2014 tumblr#girlblogger#lana del rey#princesscore#fyp#tumblr fyp#fypage#fypツ#the virgin suicides#me coded#me core#me coping#literally me#honestly me too#help my sanity#hell is a teenage girl#13 years old#i’m insane#born to die#the virgin suicides summer#girl interupted syndrome#girl interrupted#female insanity#female hysteria#female manipulator#female rage#femcel
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#the real scientific method#scientific method#science side of the internet#science side help me#science side#science side please explain#science side explain#science side of tumblr#mad scientist#memes#dank memes#dankest memes#mental meme#memes are my coping mechanism#memes are my love language#i’m offended by this relatable content#relatable memes#relatable shit#fresh memes
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I'm finally free from college for the time being so I'm letting the aftg brainrot take over (more specifically Andreil brainrot...)
#aftg#aftg fanart#aftg fandom#andrew minyard#all for the game#I want just one chance with this man....please....#My obsession with him is not funny anymore help me#I'm coping#also Neil is so fucking lucky the bastard#I think Andrew would have a lighter belt... cuz I think it's cool
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save a horse ride a (mercenary) cowboy 🗣️🗣️🗣️
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#hi guys#i’m not……dead?!???!?#reverse 1999#artists on tumblr#argus reverse 1999#r1999 argus#r1999#thank u argus brainrot for lowkey helping me cope with grief#college almost killed me but it sure did krill my cat ahah#anatomy study idk#nudity?#tacc0yak1art
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goodbye, goodbye. our time together has been cut short.
#thank you isat for letting me draw emo ass fanart and have it fully be supported by the original media#DIVERSITY WIN!!!! THIS HE/THEY HAS THE SAME MALADAPTIVE COPING MECHANISMS AND INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS YOU DO !!!!!!!!!!!!#i didnt draw his hat bc it didnt work with the angle but also bc i didnt want to ! hope that helps#in stars and time#isat#siffrin isat#my art#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#blood tw#i guess
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hmm bitter luci doodle
#messyr#bc i wanted to see what hes like when bitter HAHA#no shit chat bc 90 percent of the OPM i listen to reminds me of him 😭 help#planning to do smth for it too sorry im shitposting iM COPING GUYSSS DHGSKFHDK#born to have stable humor and taste but the filipino in me just keeps winning#Hc is that he can talk/understand all languages to ever exist yo#but wait til he hears those heartwretching OPM#doodle#artists on tumblr#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel lucifer#lucifer morningstar#lucilith#implied
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Ngl, I do love me a feral/enraged Dick Grayson <3
Credit to @honeysgalaxy for providing photos of the new panels
#gotham war#gotham war spoilers#batman 138#batman#bruce wayne#dick grayson#nightwing#i make memes to help me cope#batman shitpost#batman shit post#yes just to clarify i do still like bruce#i just do NOT like this version of him#i also just think dick should be allowed to be pissed#and go fucking nuts#whenever he feels like it#didn't expect gotham war to give me that#a real monkey's paw of a situation
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I’m back with the feelings :))
#john and paul#I don’t smoke cigarettes believe me#i just love to draw them#mclennon#angst#these are helping me cope#also laughed too hard on that old john panel he looks miserable#do you know how much it means to me when peeps rb and write things underneath#it literally makes my day#thank you#the beatles#the beatles fanart#neroart
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redraws featuring some of my fav megu moments(tm)
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#itadori yuuji#yuji itadori#yuuji#megumi#fanart#jjk fanart#itafushi#i guess lol#i LOV that frame of blushing megu but let me see his FACE mappa >:(#let me see fushiguro tsundere megumi or so help me god#anyway gege wont give my son back so i will continue to cope the only way i know how#manga is wild rn i will simply bide my time until he returns#edit bc i cannot count to five and gave him . 4 fingers in th first post..............gomen..................
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little kisses
my kofi :)
#nhyhu.art#jayvik#jayce talis#jayvik fanart#fanart#arcane#viktor arcane#arcane fanart#jayce talis fanart#viktor fanart#PLEASE TUMBLR GODS DO NOT CRUNCH THIS TO HELL#never in my life has a ship ever made me want to animate let alone fully color and shaded animation guys i might need help#i tried to do fortiche style but i kinda gave up after the like 4th day into doing this i meant to finish this over thanksgiving#but damn animation is so hard 😭#my bestie called this season 1 coping 💀
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some opinions on fanfic trends for Disco Elysium on AO3 for the past 2-ish years; i address racism, ableism, jean and kim tropes, accesorization of harry and the way the game themes appear to have warped.
some of you may know i've been reading every fic published on the disco AO3 tag chronologically since 2019 for a little over a year and jotting down some trends (not a proper statistical study, just some tracking of when certain tropes are introduced and when and how they reproduce because i like observing that kind of thing.) there's been an uptick in trans(masc) Kim and Jean character studies since late 2022-early 2023, among many others, but these ones were like overwhelmingly prolific once they were introduced.
harry, kim and jean are overwhelmingly the characters with most fanworks in the tag. and having read a little over 4k works it turns out that people engage in a very distinct way with them for the most part that tracks with the growth of the trans Kim and Jean character studies as a trend.
the disco elysium fandom's english-language writers are, according to my cursory snooping, overwhelmingly trans, some flavor of gay, white and from north america and western europe. given personal anecdotes, i also suspect they are upper middle class (though not as statistically huge as the previous things) and struggle with mental health. in the past decade or so a lot of fanworks have followed a trend of exploration focused on catharsis and personal relatability.
now, kim and harry appear so much in the text with so much detail that there's plenty of personal details to pull from to write them, where as jean's total presence in the game (rarely achieved in one run but i'm taking into account all his mentions and lines) is smaller so it follows that people need to fill in some gaps and there's more characterization freedom. jean is white, younger than both harry and kim, canonically depressed, non-canonically confirmed by his character player an amphetamine addict but presented as a functional person during the game, and covers a very specific narrative hinge that i understand as relevant: he's a bridge between pre-Martinaise Harry and his Martinaise self.
he's objectively a very comfortable character to play with because he's mostly a blank slate except for his relation to Harry and his vitriolic grief towards him. so logistically i understand why people who struggle with mental health, are white, are anywhere between 17 and 35, are functional and able-bodied and may or may not have a complicated relationship with a close person who struggles with addiction or other health issues might go "YES, GOOD CATHARSIS NARRATIVE FOR ME". but the sheer amount of works that value Relatability over engaging with the characters or the themes has resulted in a very strong ripple. which leads to trans kim.
the game paints a deep and vivid image of kim, both from within harry's own perspectives and the objective things he says out loud. he's a walking contradiction, he's alienated from his body and selfhood, he beat himself into submission to stay alive. he's a walking reminder of his assasinated communist parents, the people who killed them paid his salary, his body (racialized, disabled) is both a hindrance to his assimilation and a tangible proof that he could have belonged somewhere but doesn't, that no matter what he does it will be considered first. so he watches his words, his movements, his appearance. so he partakes in hypermasculinity. he's canonically gay, mixed race, diasporic seolite, and disabled. and somehow, the only one of this that is recurringly explored in most fanworks is his homosexuality, usually in the form of being a guiding figure to harry or as a Fellow Gay Cop to jean, or eyes, or someone else.
now, we have the trans kim trope. my opinion on the trope isn't relevant to the point i'm trying to make, but i will say i think transmasc kim is something i enjoy in theory, i think it's a worthy exploration that works very well with the hauntings of embodiment and perception that exist in kim's canon self. but it's very jarring when all of these tales of gay trans kim refuse to engage with race, or with physical disability. like, after you've read 800 trans kim fics you start noticing how solid that avoidance is, how big the elephant in the room is, and i can't help but think that, coupled with the explorations of Jean, the issue is: the white ablebodied writer is unwilling to engage with race and disability.
my charitable reading of this is that the white ablebodied writer doesn't want to write about what they don't know, they don't want to overstep. my neutral reading of this is that the white ablebodied writer doesn't consider how sexuality and gender's material realities are tied to race and ablebodiedness in the real world because they are the Default Categories and it didn't occur to them that kim's experience of them might overlap. my least charitable reading of this without directly falling into the assumption of ill intent is that the white ablebodied writer is uncomfortable with the idea of the fact that their experience of gender and sexuality isn't universal and it's not as emotionally cathartic to think about how they might be racist and ableist because they put on horse blinders and they're trying to write things they like, and understanding this is unpleasant and doesn't belong in their feel-good hobbies.
people love to talk about kim's body without acknowledging the way asian masculinity and femininity exist in relation to whiteness when it's harry or jean in the room. people love to talk about kim's body without engaging with the power relations that exist in many disabled people's sexuality.
the tropes' strength lies in the relatability factor (very high) and the willingness of both author and audience to engage with the canon material for the characters they are writing (very low). and so you end up with a lot of jean character studies about his feelings towards harry (when everyone but kim in the game also knows both harries, but jean is prioritized consistently) and a lot of character studies about kim (that ignore most of the lived experiences of him because they're directly tied to his and his parents' race and alienation that are not particularly cathartic for the white author and reader)
one of the big themes of the game, if not the biggest, is failure. specifically it asks the player to think about what to do when you have failed and you know there are no blank slates, and asks you to empathize not only with harry, whose every thought you're privy to, but to everyone you talk to that has the same rich landscape beyond your brief interaction. when relatability is prioritized in fanworks, this question falls apart, the purpose becomes to find ways in which these characters are like you (the author, the reader) so you can afford them the level of humanity needed to feel emotions about them.
harry's tropification follows four large trends: self-loathing, aggressive addict, psychic omniscient prophet, overwhelmingly emotional and adoring puppy. some authors sometimes are capable of depicting both, usually as if they are unrelated and it's a harry-esque contradiction, but it's truly baffling how rare it is to find stories that engage with all of them or with multiple of them as inextricably bound together like canon material does. harry needs to be relatably lovable (heartbroken, self-loathing, fixable by love, fixable by the universe, capable of change that gets exponentially better) or relatably hateable (physically and emotionally abusive, manipulative, unreasonably needy).
most fics in the relatable lovability fall on the kim/harry ship, most fics in the relatable hateability fall on the jean/harry ship. here's where it ties into the big tropes for kim and jean: the fanworks about a game that asks a question about failure and questioning certainty become stories about inevitability.
jean's vitriol in the game comes from the same place as harry's self loathing: a visceral response to decades of failure. they're not objective truths (i'm thinking about the mirror reveal being intended as a way to make the viewer realize harry isn't a reliable narrator at all, but especially about himself: you see a regular guy, conventionally handsome but clearly in pain and growing old and sick. he calls himself horrible shit, however).
playing up jean's part as the Bridge is comfortable because it allows the player to separate Harry's failures from their agency as a player (something that greatly drives the point of the game home, emotionally speaking -- you're not that different from Harry. Harry's not that different from anyone else he meets. the irreversible failures exist for all of us, as do the chances to try again.) if jean is right in resenting harry, and moreover, he's objectively describing harry's behavior, harry's failures become logical and inevitable consequences of his Way of Being. if Harry calls kim a slur, or threatens children, or scares civilians, that's just because that's how Harry is (according to Jean and Harry's own brain), so the possibility that one of your tries might be meaningfully good becomes... less weighty. it's a fluke, and you'll fail again, so don't get your hopes up. it's almost an excuse to believe that there's nothing new under the sun and going back to old habits is inevitable, but the conclusion becomes "so nothing i do really matters" instead of "it's hard and painful to try again when you've failed so many times before. what does this say about the person who tries?". and in that way jean is an interesting character because understanding why he resents harry for being able to try more freely than him without the weight of memory is important to the theme. what has to click to start climbing out of the grave? can anyone do it? will i ever do it? why now, and why not when i tried to pull him out?
and similarly, when we write about kim, we have to confront what makes him who he is and not another generic character to write, and the fact of the matter is that being a cop, being visibly of seolite heritage, having PTSD, having a visual impairment on record that interferes with his cophood, his cophood being the only identity he appears to have had a choice over, how he treats harry because he's a cop vs. other harry parallels who aren't, how he treats harry whether harry respects him or not... they're important. and trans kim could be a way to approach these themes but it's currently existing in a vacuum of authorial catharsis, and the refusal to address the real politics that give emotional weight to disco elysium is becoming a worrying, overwhelming trend. i urge you all to think about these things a little.
#disco elysium#binomechanisms#note: i am fairly critical with the fandom and you don't have to read this if you don't want to#if you do read it i'd appreciate it if your responses had to do with what i'm talking about and not like. Fanfic Helps Me Cope#second note: i don't dwell much on harry trope trends here because they have remained consistent (in a bad way)
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misc kris doodles
#deltarune#kris deltarune#kris dreemurr#asriel dreemurr#toriel dreemurr#my art#doodles#they're helping me cope with finals coming up it's fine
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