#that way everyone else knows who we are talking about!

[genericpuff]

I've been griping about the normalization of identity outing via social media for a while now. To put it simply, it's become almost some weird societal requirement that if you don't have every detail listed about yourself in your Twitter/FB/etc. bio, then it means you have "something to hide" or that you're not as "verifiable" because your account looks indistinct from that of a bot.

But that societal norm has really only benefited the people who profit off of that information in some way, whether it's through selling user data or through weaponizing details about a person against them.

I know that a lot of us love to use the fun little labels and acronyms in our bio that help others like us identify us as a 'safe person' or as someone who's in the same social/racial/identity groups as them. We're humans, we love to categorize things, it's in our nature (and it's fun!)

But if there's any time to start regulating that habit and challenging the norm that you're obligated to include all your personal info online - it's now.

There was a time when sock puppet accounts were expected and typical, not "suspicious".

There was a time when even age-sex-location was considered "too much information", but once it became the norm, we only EVER gave our personal information beyond generic ASL to people who we knew both online and in real life, or at the very least, people who we had known online for a significant enough amount of time that they had proved to be trustworthy (and even then, we didn't owe that information to anyone, ever; there are forum friends who I made online 10+ years ago and still talk to who do not know my personal information beyond broad strokes).

There was a time when simply being an avatar with a funny username was enough. And it still is enough, but massive platforms like Facebook and Twitter have been brainwashing us for years to believe that's not the case, under the guise of, "You wouldn't want to be dishonest, would you?" Through these same norms, we were led to believe that anime profile pictures are cringe, that having a fake online name is stupid, that the photos of you having fun at social events have to be taken JUST right otherwise you might imply to others that you're not actually having fun.

And considering how long these platforms have been around now, we have entire generations of children now who have been born and raised on that version of the ZuckMusk web, who have been taught that it "protects them" to express to everyone publicly their age, their school, their workplace, their family members, everything about themselves, because to not do so would be disingenuous.

None of this is to imply that the Internet was "safer" back in the day. I definitely should not have been on the Internet as much as I was when I was 13 in the late 2000's, it definitely did not benefit my brain development or my social skills. But the version of the Internet we currently exist in now is one that's been predicated on the false sense of security - the belief that if you're honest, everyone else has to be, too.

We've always had ways of identifying our safe people - by participating in the communities that we know are designed around our hobbies, our interests, our people. They might be small, they might not be as "cool" as the idea of netting yourself a big following of thousands of people, but they're also a lot safer and more genuine than that idealized following ever could be.

Don't feel pressured to include every bit of information about yourself in your bio. Even on Facebook, there's no rule that says you have to list your workplace, your school, your family members. There's no rule that says you have to list your personality type, queer labels, and neurodivergent disorders in your Twitter bio. There's no rule that you have to "prove" your life is real and fulfilled through the verification of photos, location tagging, and open-book sharing. If you share those photos, it should be because you genuinely want to share them, not because you feel some societal pressure to live up to others' expectations.

And I guarantee you, even your local mutuals on Facebook - your former classmates, family friends, distant relatives, coworkers, etc. - do not actually give that much of a damn about your personal life that they should be owed that much of a look into it on a daily basis. They've got their own shit going on, they literally do not need to know every detail about you.

I know it sounds scary. It also sounds kind of boring, when we've been used to a certain "way" of browsing and participating for years, that if we don't do so, it feels like being in the "out group" and that we're "breaking the rules". But I promise you, after spending over half my life online, those rules do not exist or benefit anyone who wouldn't profit off that information.

If you're wanting to learn how to branch off from major platforms like Facebook and Twitter and/or become more self-sufficient online, here are some guides to navigating the Internet like an old schooler that may help you!

FREE SITE BUILDER:

DIGITAL PIRACY 101:

(also in addition to everything mentioned here ^^^ they neglect to also mention Tor Browser which is a light and free-to-use browser software that allows you to browse anonymously; note that it's similar to a VPN in that it helps hide your identity online, HOWEVER it won't mask you from your ISP quite as effectively as a VPN, and if you sign into personal accounts with Tor, that's still going to obviously out you online lmao but I love using Tor for the odd time when I need to make a sock puppet for something and don't want it linked to my IP! and unlike a VPN, it's free to use!)

LEARN HOW TO USE RSS FEEDS:

People still use these! They're especially helpful for getting updates from your favorite pages and sites directly to your browser WITHOUT having to worry about stupid algorithm bullshit picking and choosing what you see. And many sites DO have RSS support once you know how to find it! (like adding in /rss at the end of a URL! Like this!)

FAKE EMAIL SERVICES:

LEARN HOW TO CODE IN HTML/CSS/JAVASCRIPT (AND MORE!):

DECENTRALIZED SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS:

I hope this helps arm you with some new knowledge in how to navigate the Internet like a Certified Old Person™️(like meeee!) Make your secret alt blogs for besties! Make your formal Facebook accounts that are clean of personal information and present the most neutral, safe-for-work version of yourself and keep the fun stuff to the secret profiles and chat groups that are just for you and friends/family/etc!! It might be "inconvenient" to have multiple accounts for the same purpose, but it's also INCREDIBLY freeing and can make your online experience both safer and more enjoyable.

Being "less" of yourself online does not make you any less you. It is your identity - you do not owe any amount of it to anyone beyond yourself. And in times like these, your identity is your greatest asset. Protect it.

[goldfades]

❝ 𝐚𝐟𝐜 𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐬, burrow. ❞

free palestine carrd 🇵🇸 decolonize palestine site 🇵🇸 how you can help palestine it's crucial that we stand in solidarity with those who need our support. right now, the people of palestine are facing unimaginable hardship, and it's up to all of us to do what we can to help. whether it's raising awareness, donating to relief organizations, or supporting calls for justice and peace, every action counts. we can amplify their voices, shed light on their struggles, and work towards a future where every individual can live with dignity and freedom. your support can make a difference! FREE PALESTINE!

⟢ ┈ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 | you give joe his own celebration after winning.

⟢ ┈ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | NSFW! minors pls dni. plot w/ smut, messy head sesh (joe receiving), cigar mentions, praise and um... nothing else? pretty self indulgent.

⟢ ┈ 𝐞𝐯'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 | if you guys enjoy this i might just write more for joe 🫣 if you guys have any requests, my inbox is open rn!

The crowd is electric, buzzing with that rare, palpable energy that comes only when an entire city feels the taste of victory on its tongue.

The stadium lights are still blazing, casting a golden glow over the field, and you can see Joe, helmet off, hair slightly mussed from the game. He looks different tonight—not the quiet, calculating Joe who keeps everything just below the surface. This version of him stands tall, eyes sharp, taking it all in with a sly, almost cocky grin tugging at the corner of his mouth.

You’re swept up in the energy as he walks towards you, chest out, shoulders loose, like he owns the night. His usual restraint is nowhere to be found; every bit of him is reveling in this moment, and it’s as if he knows exactly how everyone is looking at him, yourself included.

The cheers and the chanting blur together, and you feel your pulse match the beat of the stadium around you. He's coming closer, that rare glint in his eye—the kind that says he knows he's good, and tonight, he’s not hiding it. He reaches you, and before you can even say anything, his hands find your hips, pulling you in with a confidence that’s both unexpected and thrilling.

Joe isn’t usually one for public displays, especially after a game when he’s all focus and steady composure, but tonight is different. Tonight, he’s every bit the champion and you can see it in the way he looks at you, like he’s not just savoring the win but the whole world in his hands.

Without a second thought, he cups your face, his touch warm and firm, and his lips crash into yours with a hunger that leaves you breathless. The kiss is fierce, almost possessive, and your heart skips a beat as you realize he doesn’t care that everyone’s watching—that someone, somewhere, probably has their phone out recording this very moment. He’s completely wrapped up in you, and for this one fleeting moment, you’re the only thing that exists.

When he finally pulls back, there’s a smudge of your lipstick on his lips, unmistakable and bold, and he’s got that cocky grin again, wider this time, unbothered by the smear of color. His thumb brushes over your cheek, wiping away a trace of lipstick, his eyes sparking with that rare, unabashed pride.

"Guess I’m taking home two trophies tonight," he murmurs, his voice low, just for you.

His hand stays on your hips, grounding you as you’re both swept up in the exhilaration of the night. The crowd, the lights, the whole stadium could disappear, and it still wouldn’t matter. Joe doesn’t care about anything else—he’s made that clear.

━━━━━

The club pulses with energy, dark and sleek, lit by flashes of neon lights and thrumming to the bass-heavy beat of music that vibrates up through the floor. The exclusive afterparty is alive with players, coaches, friends, and the lucky few who managed an invite, and you can feel the buzz of victory in the air. It’s thick with the thrill of the win, the endless energy of a city that hasn’t been able to stop talking about Joe and the team since last year’s championship.

Joe’s beside you, his hand never leaving your back as he navigates through the crowd, and he’s still got that spark in his eyes. There’s a looseness to him tonight—a magnetic energy that draws everyone in. He’s in his element, basking in it, tossing back easy laughs with his teammates, tossing friendly jabs at anyone who dares question the next championship he has in mind. Every time someone congratulates him, he pulls you closer, and even though he usually keeps things more private, tonight feels like a night for breaking his own rules.

You’re holding onto his arm, laughing along with him, when his teammate Sam catches sight of the lipstick stain that still lingers faintly on Joe’s mouth.

He raises a brow, grinning wide, and elbows Joe. "Looks like the MVP’s got more than a trophy tonight," Sam jokes, his voice teasing but warm.

Joe doesn’t even bother to wipe it off. Instead, he smirks, pulling you closer with a shrug that radiates easy confidence. "Best accessory, don’t you think?" he says, voice low but loud enough to carry over the music, and his arm slides around your waist, holding you against him like he doesn’t plan on letting go.

You laugh, leaning into him as he glances down at you, that cocky spark in his eyes making your pulse race. Joe has always been cool, confident, but tonight there’s something different about him—a unrestrained pride that makes you feel like you’re standing in the middle of something unforgettable.

“Careful,” you tease, looking up at him, your voice playful. “Keep that attitude up, and they’re going to start thinking you’re actually enjoying the attention.”

He chuckles, a low sound that only you can hear. “Guess I might be, just a little,” he admits, brushing his thumb over your cheek. “It’s not every day you get to win back-to-back championships. Gotta let myself enjoy it for once, right?”

Before you can answer, Ja’Marr sidles up beside him, grinning from ear to ear. He’s got that same victorious look in his eyes and you can tell he’s been looking forward to this moment just as much as Joe has. Reaching into his pocket, Ja’Marr pulls out a fat cigar, extending it to Joe with a knowing smirk.

“Time for a victory smoke, QB,” Ja’Marr says, his voice light but laced with pride. “You earned it.”

Joe takes the cigar, turning it over in his hands as if considering it, then lets out a low, appreciative laugh. He glances at you with a grin. “Guess we’re going all out tonight, huh?”

You nod, leaning up to kiss his cheek, and his hand finds your waist again as he turns back to Ja’Marr. “Thanks, man,” Joe says, clapping his friend on the shoulder. “Couldn’t have done it without you.”

Ja’Marr shakes his head, feigning modesty. “Nah, tonight’s all you, bro. I just happened to be along for the ride.” He steps back, lifting his own glass in a toast, and the whole crew around you does the same, echoing the sentiment as they raise their drinks.

“To Joey,” Ja’Marr calls, his voice carrying over the music. “And to running this city two years straight!”

The crowd roars in agreement, and Joe raises the cigar in salute before flashing that unrestrained smile again, lighting it up with a satisfied exhale. He takes a slow, deliberate drag, letting the smoke curl lazily from his lips as he relaxes back against the booth, pulling you close beside him.

“You know,” he says, glancing at you with a grin that’s both relaxed and intoxicatingly self-assured, “could get used to this whole king-of-the-city thing. But only if you’re here with me.”

“Think I could make that work,” you reply, smiling as you tuck yourself against him, his arm solid and warm around you.

Joe leans back in the booth, his arm still looped around you, his blue eyes sharp and unmistakably bold as he exhales a long, lazy stream of smoke. There’s a cocky tilt to his mouth, something magnetic that holds your gaze, and when he catches you staring, that grin only deepens.

“You look a little too comfortable holding court like this,” you say, smirking, leaning into him just enough that your knee brushes his.

He gives you a look that makes your stomach flip, tilting his head as he takes another drag from the cigar, never breaking eye contact. “I think I’m right where I’m supposed to be tonight,” he murmurs, his voice low and smooth, just loud enough for you to hear over the noise.

The way he says it, like he owns the moment—and maybe you, too—sends a thrill down your spine. You lift your chin, refusing to look away, feeling the tension spark like electricity between you.

“You sure you can handle the attention?” you challenge, arching a brow. “I don’t remember you being one for the spotlight.”

“Oh, I can handle it,” he replies, voice dripping with confidence. He leans in, close enough that you can feel the heat radiating off him, his lips a mere breath away from yours. “Question is, can you?”

His eyes are dark, daring, and you feel his hand press against your waist, fingers brushing the bare skin where your shirt rides up slightly. The club is hot, noisy, and every beat of the music seems to pulse between you, building the tension.

Before you can answer, he leans in even closer, his mouth hovering by your ear. “Because from where I’m sitting,” he murmurs, “you’re looking at me like you’re ready to break a few of my rules tonight.”

━━━━━

And that's how you ended up back at the hotel, on your knees, looking up at Joe like he was the only thing that mattered. The room is quiet now, a stark contrast to the pulsing energy of the club, but the silence makes everything feel sharper, more charged. The dim lights cast a soft glow over him, highlighting the confidence that radiates off him with every breath, every small movement.

He’s standing there, looking down at you, his eyes dark, studying you with that intensity that makes your heart race. There’s a cocky, satisfied smile playing at the corner of his lips—a hint of pride that you can’t help but want to unravel. You can see the subtle rise and fall of his chest, his breathing steady, controlled, even though you know he’s feeling every second of this as much as you are.

Joe’s hand lingers on your face, tilting your chin up just a bit more as he watches you, his eyes tracing every detail like he wants to commit it to memory.

Your hands worked on his belt as he let out a quiet groan and he doesn’t stop you, lets you take control for a moment, and the way his breath catches in his chest makes something inside you stir. He’s always the confident one, the one who stays in control, but tonight, in this space, everything feels different. It’s like he’s giving you the freedom to move, to touch, to test just how far you can push him.

“God,” he mutters, his hand sliding from your face to the back of your neck, his fingers curling just lightly around it, like he’s marking his place, claiming it without saying a word. His thumb gently strokes over your skin, sending a pulse of heat through you as you finish loosening his belt.

The moment the buckle comes free, you pull him closer, your fingers tracing his waistband as you look up at him, your lips just a breath away from where he needed you most. His chest rises and falls rapidly now, a sign that you’re getting to him, that the tension is starting to break.

He leans down slightly, his breath hot against your ear, voice low and rough. “You know, you could make me forget the whole damn night with just a single move.”

You smile, a slow, teasing thing, as you drag your hands down to his bulge, feeling the muscles in his stomach tighten in anticipation. There’s a challenge in his eyes, a dare, but you don’t rush, taking your time, letting every moment hang between you like a promise. The way he’s watching you, waiting for your next move, only makes the tension between you more intense.

Joe’s gaze darkens even more, the intensity turning almost possessive as his hand sliding into your hair again, gently pulling you up to meet his lips in a kiss that’s every bit as hungry and desperate as it is passionate. He’s pulling you closer and you can feel the weight of him, the heat of his body, as he presses you back on the floor.

“You have no idea how much I want you right now,” he breathes against your lips, his voice low, full of need. The way he says it, like he can’t hold back, makes you ache with want. He falls back on a chair behind him, his eyes full of need. You know exactly what he wants as he spreads his thighs.

“Come on, baby. Give me what I want,” he urges breathlessly as you find your way in between his thighs.

Your hands slide back to his thighs, fingers brushing against the hard lines of his body, and you can feel his chest rising and falling with every breath he takes.

You finally pull off his underpants, freeing his hardened length. He lets out a breath as his hand pulls your hair into a makeshift ponytail. Joe doesn't wait any longer, he pushes you downward until your lips meet his warm tip.

“Taking your time, huh?” he murmurs, his voice rough with desire, a hint of impatience flickering in his eyes as he watches every movement you make. There’s a slight smirk on his lips, but it fades quickly as you press a little closer, opening your mouth to finally take him.

He lets out a guttural groan as his grip tightens in your hair. The taste of him is intoxicating, you couldn't help but let out a sound of your own. Your lips wrap around his thick cock effortlessly, taking him slowly.

Joe wasn't in the slow mood, though. His grip in your hair didn't loosen as he began moving your head in his own accord, your muffled moans egging him on. The tip of his cock hit the back of your throat, making you gag as your fingers scratched his thigh instinctively.

“That's it, baby,” he groaned breathlessly. “Take my cock, just like that.”

Your jaw was already sore, your chin was dripping with a mix of your saliva and his pre-cum but somehow you still relished in this. Your eyes were watering as you tried to keep them open, watching Joe's every expression and hearing every sound. Every praise that left his mouth spurred you on, your mouth sliding up and down his wet cock.

And despite the mess you've made, Joe still thought you were the sexiest woman alive. He couldn't look at you any longer, because he swore he would just cum at the mere sight. You slipped off his cock, your tongue flicking his tip as you caught your breath. You slowly took him back in, humming at the feeling of being so full.

His hand tightened in your hair as his head fell back on the chair, his mouth slightly open as he groaned. “Oh fuck, yeah. Keep going,” he grunted. “Gonna cum, fuck.”

Before you could even react, his cum filled your mouth as you moaned around his cock. You tried your best to swallow all of it before you slipped off, your chest rising up and down. Looking up at Joe, he wore a fucked-out expression, all his previous cockiness had softened into something raw and unguarded.

His head is tilted back against the chair, a lazy smile tugging at his lips as he tries to catch his breath, his gaze finding yours with a look that’s equal parts amazement and satisfaction. The flicker of dim hotel light casts shadows across his face, highlighting his features in a way that makes him look almost softer, stripped down to just Joe, without the bravado and the public image.

He lets out a breathless laugh, running a hand through his hair, which is now mussed and a little wild. “Think you just ruined me,” he murmurs, voice still thick, a slight rasp lingering from the exertion.

His hand reaches down, fingers grazing your shoulder before sliding up to brush against your cheek, his touch unexpectedly gentle as he takes in every inch of you with that slightly dazed, contented gaze.

You smile, a satisfied warmth spreading through you as you sit back, watching him collect himself, looking at him in this quiet, vulnerable moment. “Maybe I just wanted to see if I could,” you reply, voice raspy with an edge of pride. You know the effect you’ve had on him, and the thrill of it lingers in the air between you, sparking like the last remnants of a fire.

Joe chuckles, his fingers trailing lightly along your jaw, then down to your chin, where he tilts your face up to meet his eyes fully. “Oh, trust me,” he says, his gaze darkening again, though now softened with something deeper, “you’ve got me right where you want me.” He leans forward, his lips brushing yours in a soft, almost tender kiss that lingers longer than you expect, as if he wants to savor the moment. He could taste himself on your tongue, making his ego skyrocket.

For a minute, neither of you speaks. There’s just the sound of your breaths mingling, his other hand slips up to tuck a stray piece of hair behind your ear and he gives you this look that makes your heart race all over again, even after everything that just happened.

↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !

↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[pickingupmymercedes]

Blessed - Lewis Hamilton

Part of 1K Jukebox Event

song: Blessed - Daniel Caesar - @goldenroutledge

pairing: Husband!Lewis Hamilton x Reader!

genre: fluff (bc we need a lil breather from the news lately)

wordcount: +1k

As always, I'm open for feedback, come say hi!

______________________________________________________________

“Alright, alright!” The sound of a spoon tapping against a champagne glass drew everyone's attention toward the center of the room.

The reception room was glowing in warm hanging lights, the low hum of chatter filled the air as glasses were put down and chair were pulled closer. It was a night of celebration, of love and new beginnings – tale as old as time.

At the head table, the couple of the evening, Lewis and Y/n, sat side by side. Lewis’s arm draped protectively over the back of Y/n’s chair and she leaned into him slightly, her eyes sparkling as she looked out at their friends and family gathered around.

It had been a long road to get there. Everyone knew that.

Their love story wasn’t the clean, perfectly drawn-out romance people read about in books or saw in movies. It was messy. Complicated. And yet, they had made it there—newly married and completely in love.

Standing in the middle of the room, their friend held a mic in one hand and a glass of champagne in the other. Her grin promised a toast that would be anything but typical.

“As much as I’d love to pretend I’m not emotional about this... y’all know me too well,” she began, casting a cheeky look at the couple. “But first... let me just say—finally!”

A wave of laughter rippled through the guests. Y/n chuckled, nudging Lewis as he grinned wide, squeezing her shoulder. Their friend raised her glass, eyes twinkling.

“No, seriously though. I’m not gonna lie. There was a point where I thought, ‘These two? Getting married? Yeah, no way.’ But hey, life has a funny way of proving me wrong.”

The guests laughed, nodding in agreement. She looked around the room, drawing everyone in as she spoke.

“See, Lewis and Y/n... they were that couple. The one everyone’s always asking about. Like, ‘What’s going on with them? Are they together? Are they on a break? Are they—” she paused, turning to the person sitting next to her and raising her hand for dramatic effect, “Are they fine this time?’”

Everyone laughed, nodding along. Y/n exchanged a smile with Lewis, who shrugged as if to say, She’s not wrong.

“They always had this... thing, right?” their friend continued, making an animated swirl in the air with her hand. “Like, they’d walk into a room together and, boom, all eyes would go straight to them. You could tell they were just... magnetic.” She turned to Lewis’s mom, who was laughing and nodding knowingly.

“Oh, and don’t get me started on the families!” She gestured to Lewis’s mom with a playful smirk. “Carmen, you knew Y/n was family long before this day, didn’t you? You were still having your spa days with her even when these two claimed to be ‘over!’”

The room burst into laughter as Carmen raised her glass with a playful smile, shrugging unapologetically. “She’s family, with or without him.”

“And you sir,” Their friend pointed a finger at Y/n’s dad, shaking her head with a grin. “You’re just as bad. I remember calling Lewis during one of their ‘breaks’—you know, the ones we had to keep a calendar for—and he’d be like, ‘Oh, I just got off the phone with Y/n’s dad. We were talking about the race.’” She shook her head, laughing. “You all knew they weren’t fooling anyone, didn’t you?”

Y/n’s dad chuckled, glancing over at the newlyweds with a warm smile. “Some people need more time to figure things out.”

The friend shook her head with an exaggerated sigh. “Honestly, who didn’t lose track at some point?” She turned to a nearby table. “Raise your hand if you’ve ever had to ask someone else if they were ‘back together’ or ‘taking a break’ this month?”

A few hands shot up in good-natured fun, the crowd’s laughter rolling even louder.

“Yep! See? Half of us here had charts,” she added dead serious. “And the funny part is, every single time they said they were ‘done,’ deep down, I think we all knew. Because no matter how ‘done’ they claimed to be, they’d somehow find a way back to each other. Every. Single. Time.”

Y/n shook her head, laughing softly as if the memories were flooding back to her—late nights of arguments, quiet moments of reconciliation, times they’d sworn it was over for good, only to realize that no one else quite fit the way Lewis did.

She paused, glancing between Lewis and Y/n, before taking a slow sip of champagne. “You two are a pair, alright. A little unpredictable a lot stubborn. But that’s what makes it funny—and honestly, kind of beautiful— because you couldn’t stay out of each other’s orbit if you tried.”

Their friend took a breath, her grin turning into a soft smile. “And as much as we all like to joke about how confusing it was trying to keep up, deep down, we all knew. Because whatever you two have... It was messy, yeah. But it’s real. And it’s the kind of love that survives the storms because you make each other better.”

Her gaze shifted to Lewis, sincerity pouring into her voice. “Now, Lewis... yeah, you’re a lot of things. A goat, some would say... but let’s be honest—when it comes to Y/n, you’re the guy who can’t help but light up when she’s around. I mean, look at you!” She waved her hand, pointing as he grinned, clearly caught.

Lewis laughed, shaking his head, but the warmth in his eyes as he glanced at Y/n was undeniable.

She then turned to Y/n, her eyes softening even more. “And Y/n, girl... don’t think I haven’t noticed how you let him in, even when you’re stubborn about it. He’s broken through those walls in a way that, frankly, I’m still kind of mad about,” she teased, winking. “He really made me share my spot as your only confidante.”

Another wave of laughter and cheers erupted, softer this time, filled with knowing looks and nods. Y/n’s hand founding Lewis’s under the table, fingers squeezing his as she took in her friend’s words.

“And it wasn’t until you both finally stopped running from this, that the rest of us got to see the magic happen,” their friend continued, leaving her glass on the table to be able to use her hands to motion to the couple.

“And now? Look at you two. You’ve found your rhythm. You’ve learned that yeah, sometimes you drive each other nuts.”

“And us too, to be honest.” She pointed out as she motioned to the rest of the guests

“Sometimes it’s not perfect, and it never will be. But that’s not the point.” She paused, letting the silence hang for a second before speaking again. “The point is... you two, you’re so blessed to be stuck with each other.”

Y/n’s breath visibly caught in her throat. She glanced at Lewis, and the warmth in his eyes met her own, creating a small, private moment between them.

“I mean, look at them, guys. There he is, looking at her with the same adoration he always had, even back when they weren’t even ‘official’. They always saw each other, didn’t they? Even when they didn’t see themselves.” Their friend chuckled as she took their little moment to get her point across, just to cease the moment and break the atmosphere with another tease.  

“Gosh, I remember when you two were in those other relationships,” she said, eyes glinting mischievously as she winked. “And they were great, don’t get me wrong... But we all knew they were temporary. Because there’s no one else out there for you two. You tried to move on, I’ll give you two that. But you were just lying to yourselves. The whole time, you were still orbiting around each other, waiting to collide.”

The crowd murmured in agreement. Everyone there had seen their journey. Everyone knew how hard they’d fought, how much they’d both been through to get to that moment.

“So yeah, you two might be a little messy sometimes” she added, a grin spreading across her face again. “But who isn’t? The important thing is... you bring out the best in each other. Lewis, you make Y/n smile like no one else can. And Y/n, you keep this man grounded in a way that nothing else ever could.”

And it was true.

Lewis was Y/n’s grounding force, the one person who could calm the storm inside her, even when she didn’t want to admit it. And she did the same for him, though he’d probably never say it out loud.

They weren’t perfect, but they were perfect for each other.

“To Lewis and Y/n. To all the highs and lows, to all the moments that got you here. And to the future, because if this crazy, beautiful love of yours has taught us anything, it’s that you’re in it for the long haul. Here’s to being blessed... and a little bit of a mess.”

The room erupted in cheers and clinks of glasses. Y/n’s eyes glistened with unshed tears as she turned to Lewis, her fingers reaching for his over the table. When their hands touched, he laced his fingers with hers, giving her that same familiar squeeze he always did when words weren’t enough.

He leaned in, his voice low as he whispered against her ear “I am blessed to be stuck with you.”

Y/n smiled, blinking away the moist that had been threatening to fall. She turned to him, kissing him softly on the lips, savoring the moment.

Because their friend was right. It wasn’t always perfect. It wasn’t always easy. But it was real.

And maybe they were a little bit of a mess.

But they were each other’s mess.

And that was everything.

______________________________________________________________

TAGLIST - @saturnssunflower @xoscar03 @chocolatediplomatdreamerzonk @itsmrshamilton @vicurious28

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@hiireadstuff @f1-football-fiend

If you’d like to be added to my taglist you can leave a comment or send me a dm/ask.

[brain-damage-culture]

So, this. I was homeschooled, and I will say. I did meet people who had legitimate reasons that homeschooling was better for them. Many had been in public school and were severely bullied, most due to disabilities. I myself was bullied relentlessly and my mom cites that as her reason for pulling me and my siblings out of school. (She was also enamored with the idea of downsizing into a trailer and traveling the country. Yes, with a newborn baby, two audhd kids, a dog, and her crumbling marriage) Here's how that went:

The thing is, I didn't stop being bullied when I was pulled out, I just didn't have any escape from the bullying happening in my home. I went from having a small group of friends and acquaintances and teachers to talk with to only my abusive mother, absent father, struggling little brother, and the baby I was raising in place of my mom. (She slept in the same bed as me for the first 6 years, I fed, bathed, changed, and entertained her)

Occasionally, we would fall in with homeschooling co-ops, but inevitably, drama would happen, and I learned not to get attached. I don't think I could name one single person I met during that time period if you held a gun to my head. The whole traveling the country thing didn't work out, and we went from having a house to camping or renting in small spaces. I was 12 when I started homeschooling, and I stayed at a 5th grade education level for the most part until I was 16. My mom soon stopped having any interest or ability to teach me, so I mostly just read and fucked around all day. It was boring and frustrating, I didn't have consistent access to the internet, and I fought with my family all the time.

My state doesn't require homeschoolers to submit a report card or have the children see a counselor once a year, or really anything. In 2015, my mom gave up on educating me and put me in a dual enrollment program at a community college for high schoolers, and that was what got me finally to something approaching my peers on an education level. It also finally put me in contact with adults who cared about me and wanted me to succeed, professors who checked on my progress and listened to my concerns. A library with an internet connection and nobody watching what books I was reading.

That school saved my life, and I don't say that lightly.

In 2017, a fellow homeschooler in my state was not so lucky. Matthew Tirado was a 17 year old nonverbal autistic kid who was enrolled in public school. His parents were repeatedly reported for child abuse, especially by his sister, until they took his sister out of school completely. Two months later, Matthew died. His sister didn't have any way of contacting outside help anymore, and her brother died because their parents knew that nobody could speak up for him any more.

I remember everyone else's horror, and outrage, and I remember my mom. The woman who had abused me when she knew I had nobody to go. She was scared. Because she still had my younger siblings, and she did not want to face consequences. So many homeschooling parents in my state did the same, and they fought hard to defend their right to abuse their kids. And they won.

To this day, in my state 36% of parents who pulled their child from public school in order to homeschool them did so *after* a Department of Child and Family Services (DCF) investigation revealed that they were abusing their children. That's more than one fourth. Once a child is pulled out of school in my state, there are no requirements accommodations, no therapy, no supports, and no accountability. Homeschool parents willfully practice 'unschooling' or buy curriculums from shady organizations that purport to provide an education that will turn their children into whatever parents want them to be.

Public schools aren't great. We all know this. Neither are private schools, in a different, equally fucked way. But homeschooling with no checks or balances, nobody even making sure the kids are still alive after they're out of the system? It's a level of nightmare I dearly wish nobody had to experience. And I got off so lightly.

Anyway enough lame gifted kid discourse we are in our 20s. Let's talk about how homeschooling in america should be fucking illegal it's insane lol

[wonderjanga]

Frenemies

Black Adam and Captain Marvel hate each other. It’s a well-known fact, or at least Black Adam hates Captain Marvel. To be honest, Marvel doesn’t really show much hatred towards him. So… yeah. Though, to be honest they’re more arch frenemies than enemies. But don’t worry, they’re still plenty enemies. This post is connected to the post about Marvel beating the shit out of Adam for not paying him back his five dollars. (I Want My Money post)

Mary: *in Marvel form* “Captain! Captain, you jerk, where are you?!” *looking for Billy*

Marvel and Adam: *drinking smoothies together on a rooftop*

Mary: “There you are- Why are you drinking smoothies with Adam?”

Marvel: “Why not?”

Mary: “Just yesterday, he slammed you through a bus.”

Black Adam: “It's in the past.” *sips smoothie*

Mary: “Is it though?”

Marvel: “Yeah.” *sips his smoothie*

She ended up joining them and got a smoothie of her own in the end. Surprisingly, when Adam isn’t trying to kill either of them, she’ll begrudgingly admit he’s okay to talk to. She doesn’t know how Billy’s so chill around him. (It’s because Billy is Billy “no danger awareness” Batson. I’ve seen the comic panels of him barely blinking at a murderer or something trying to kill him)

Marvel: “I gotta go early guys.” *stands up to leave*

GL(John Stewart): “Gotta date?”

Marvel: “Nope. Dinner with a friend”

Aquaman: “Ooooooh who? Bigfoot?”

Marvel: “I already told you, she prefers to be called Rhonda. And no. It’s Teth.” (Marvel and the Supernatural post)

GL: “Teth? Is that another hero?”

Marvel: “No. You guys know him as Black Adam.”

*silence*

Aquaman: “Is this a Batman-Catwoman situation?”

GL: “You’re never letting Bruce live that down are you?”

Marvel: “No? We’re just friends?”

GL: Wait but I thought he was your arch enemy?

Marvel: “…Yes.” *has never once thought of Adam as an arch enemy* (He once admitted this to Adam and uh… the guy wasn’t really happy. His hurt was like the equivalent of thinking someone’s your best friend, but they don’t think the same)

Aquaman: “Yet you can call him your friend and go out to dinner?”

Marvel: “Yes. But only sometimes. Right now we’re friends. Tomorrow, probably not.”

GL and Aquaman: *share looks* “Okay…?”

The JL thinks their frenemiship is strange. So does everyone else.

Marvel: “Are we still on for lunch tomorrow?” *punches him*

Black Adam: “Yes.” *kicks him*

Marvel: “Are you still bringing that Khandaq dish you mentioned?” *grabs and throws him*

Black Adam: *rushes over to tackle him* “If you even live to see tomorrow, yes!”

Junior: “DUDE ARE YOH SERIOUSLY TALKING ABOUT DINNER PLANS MID FIGHT??” *nearby nearly knocked out because earlier Adam delivered a foul punch to his stomach and sent him flying*

By the way, this isn’t some Uncle Adam type nonsense. Adam genuinely thinks Billy is just a hyperactive man child. As for why Teth chooses to spend his time with him every now and then? He’ll never know. (He doesn’t have any other friends. There’s also the fact the man child makes decent conversation. (Billy’s carrying most of the conversation))

[rosemariiaa]

𝙃𝘼𝙇𝙁𝙒𝘼𝙔 𝙎𝙏𝙍𝘼𝙉𝙂𝙀𝙍𝙎

00 𝙋𝙧𝙤𝙡𝙤𝙜𝙪𝙚, 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙨𝙞𝙙𝙚.

a/n: long awaited pazzi series.. let’s hope I can be consistent with these chapters and not forget about after a few weeks.happy ready lovelies ⋆·�� ༘ *

warnings: none!

`✦ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹

“I’m afraid to see what’s in my head ,

So I lock it up in my heart”

I’ve never been great with people. Sure, I can hold a conversation, crack a joke, make some friends. But there’s always this weird distance—like I’m just performing, pretending to be someone I’m not. The truth is, I’m not as confident as people think I am. I hate being vulnerable. But she made it easier.

I still remember the first time she reached out to me. Her message popped up on my computer late one night, while I was scrolling through my Blogspot—my little corner of the internet where I could just… breathe. No one knew who I was on there. Just a girl venting about life, school, basketball, and the tangled mess that was my head.

She said she’d been reading my posts for a while and liked them. She said she didn’t have anyone else to talk to, and honestly, I didn’t either. So we started messaging. At first, it was just random stuff—homework, teachers, the usual teenage nonsense.

But soon enough, she started opening up more. Things I never expected to hear. About her family. Her stepdad. The kids at school who made her feel invisible. She told me how her mom remarried, and how everything felt off after that. I didn’t know why she was sharing all this with me, someone she’d never met, someone who was practically a stranger. But there was something about it. Something that made it feel right.

We got into the deeper stuff too—the insecurities, the self-doubt, the anger at things we couldn’t control. And yeah, I shared my own stuff too. It wasn’t the same, but it was close enough. My parents getting divorced. Moving from place to place. The pressure to be perfect all the time. I guess it’s easier when you don’t have to show your face. She wasn’t some random person to me anymore. She was… real.

She called me “her safe space.” And for some reason, I was okay with that. I think I needed her as much as she needed me, even if I couldn’t admit it back then. It was like she understood me in a way no one else did.

But the thing is, I never told her who I really was. She didn’t need to know I was Paige Bueckers, the basketball player everyone at school thought they knew. She didn’t need know I was just a girl trying to figure out where I fit in all of this.

It was just us. She and I. We could be ourselves without pretending. And that felt… like a goddamn relief.

But that was the thing—she was just an anonymous name on a screen. I didn’t know who she was either. Not really. I only knew what she shared, what she let me see.

Then came that night. The night I saw her name pop up in the chat, just like always. But this time, it wasn’t just her usual message. It was a question. “What if we could meet? Like, in real life?” Oh.

I froze. And my stomach did this weird flip.

I didn’t know how to answer. I didn’t even know if I wanted to. What if she was someone I knew? What if she was someone I was supposed to hate? What if… it was her?

————

tag list ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

@thaatdigitaldiary @patscorner @sierrale8ne @ohbueckers @juspeaks @mrsarnold @d3arapril @authentic-girl03 @absolutelydreadful

[aceyalonso]

F1 drivers if they were on the r/AITAH subreddit

drivers : oscar piastri, lando norris, charles leclerc, lewis hamilton, carlos sainz, max verstappen, george russell, franco colapinto

warnings/notes : jos verstappen 🤮

a/n : i know i said i was on hiatus but c'mon this was such a fun idea

main masterlist | taglist form

So this might sound weird, but here goes. My girlfriend and I (both 23) love visiting new places, and she’s a big animal lover. She found this adorable cat café nearby and has been talking about going for weeks. I wasn’t as excited but figured it’d be fun to surprise her, so I booked us a spot and thought I’d try to make it extra special.

Here’s the thing: I wanted to be "that guy" who shows up with a bag of cat treats so all the cats would flock to us. It sounds ridiculous, but my goal was to make her day. When we got there, I pulled out the treats and instantly had a few cats’ attention. My girlfriend laughed, but within a few minutes, an employee came over, looking annoyed, and told me I couldn't give the cats treats from outside.

Apparently, they have specific diets or something, and I was "interfering." I apologized, put the treats away, and thought that was the end of it. But soon after, another employee came up, saying we were being "disruptive" because all the cats were lingering around us, and they even hinted we might need to leave if it didn’t stop. I hadn’t meant to cause a scene and told them it wasn’t a big deal—we’d stop and just hang out like everyone else. But by this point, my girlfriend was pretty embarrassed, and it killed the vibe of our day.

We left a bit earlier than planned, and now my girlfriend thinks it was a bit of a jerk move, even though she appreciated the effort. I didn’t mean to upset anyone or break the rules, just thought it’d be fun to make the cats a bit more social. But now I’m wondering if I messed up by not sticking to the café’s way of doing things.

So, AITAH?

Edit: I’ve learned my lesson. I will never underestimate the dietary regulations of a cat café ever again.

So, I (24M) have this bad habit of forgetting what’s in my fridge. A while ago, I bought some chicken, but I totally forgot about it, and it just sat there for months. I was cleaning out my fridge the other day and found the chicken at the back, and it still looked fine to me—didn’t smell bad, didn’t look weird—so I thought, "Why not? It’s still good."

I cooked it up, had a nice meal, and didn’t think much of it. But then, later that night, I told my mom about it (thinking she'd just laugh), and she completely freaked out. She went on this whole rant about food safety, salmonella, and how I could’ve poisoned myself. I was just like, "It tasted fine, mom, calm down."

She kept texting me all night asking if I felt okay, if I was getting any stomach pains, and even called a few of my friends to check in on me. Honestly, I’m fine—nothing happened, and I feel perfectly normal.

But now she’s upset with me, saying I’m being careless and that I should never eat food that old, even if it seems fine. I just didn’t think it would be that big of a deal. I mean, people eat leftovers all the time, right? It wasn’t even that old.

So, AITAH for eating chicken that’s been in my fridge for 9 months and making my mom worry unnecessarily?

Edit: Just to clarify, I didn’t intentionally keep it for 9 months. I honestly just forgot about it in the back of the fridge. And no, I’m not sick. Everything’s fine. I promise I won’t be eating anything old again anytime soon!

I (27M) have a dog, Leo, who’s basically my best friend. He’s super friendly and well-behaved, and honestly, I just feel better when he’s around. I bring him everywhere I go – to cafes, parks, and friend gatherings. You name it, Leo’s there. Most people are fine with it because he’s adorable and loves everyone.

Recently, though, my friends have started making comments about it. Last weekend, we met up at this small, cozy café for brunch, and I brought Leo along. He just curled up next to my chair and didn’t bother anyone. But my friend Paul pulled me aside afterward and said it was kind of annoying that I kept bringing Leo without asking. He said not everyone wants a dog around all the time, and it’s “getting old.”

I don’t understand where this is coming from, especially since Leo’s never caused any problems. I figured since no one had said anything before, they were fine with it. Plus, I’m always careful to keep him out of people’s way, and he’s honestly better behaved than most dogs I know. I feel like they’re making a big deal out of nothing, but now I’m wondering if maybe I should have checked with everyone first.

So, AITAH for always bringing my dog? Should I have asked before assuming everyone was okay with it?

Edit: Just for context, Leo’s a small dog – not the type to jump on people or bark a lot. He just sits quietly and naps most of the time. Also, I’ve always cleaned up after him when necessary, so he hasn’t left any “souvenirs” for anyone to deal with.

So, I (39M) have this friend, Nico (also 39M), and we’ve been friends since we were kids. We’re both super competitive by nature, and we tend to push each other a lot. Whether it’s video games, sports, or even something like mini-golf, everything somehow turns into a competition between us. It’s mostly just for fun… until recently.

A few weeks ago, we were at a friend’s birthday party, and they had one of those racing setups in the living room. Of course, Nico and I immediately challenged each other, and we both got really into it. I mean, I might’ve been trash-talking a bit (okay, maybe a lot), but we were both laughing, so I didn’t think it was a big deal.

Well, I ended up beating him by a fraction of a second, and I might’ve celebrated a bit too enthusiastically—think victory lap around the living room, calling him out in front of everyone, the whole deal. After that, Nico got pretty quiet and didn’t talk to me much for the rest of the night. Later, a mutual friend told me that Nico felt like I was “rubbing it in,” and it embarrassed him.

Now I feel bad. I honestly thought we were just having fun and didn’t realize he’d take it so personally. I tried to apologize, but he just brushed it off and hasn’t really been himself around me since.

So… AITAH for taking things a bit too far with my friend, or was it all just part of the usual friendly rivalry?

Edit: We’ve always had this kind of back-and-forth, so I’m not sure why this time it got to him. Just thought I’d get some outside perspective before I bring it up with him again.

Okay, I know this sounds insane, but hear me out. I (30M) love making pancakes, and I’m pretty proud of my recipe. It’s become sort of a tradition to make them for my family when I visit my parents. They’re always really nice about it and say they love them, but... I’m starting to think they’ve just been too polite.

A few weeks ago, I was at my parents’ house and decided to whip up a big batch of pancakes for breakfast. My mom and dad both had seconds, and I thought it was a win. But later that night, my mom started having really bad stomach pains. We took her to the hospital, and she ended up needing surgery for appendicitis. It was a scary experience, but thankfully, she’s okay now.

Here’s where it gets weirder. Just a few days after my mom came home from the hospital, my dad started having the same symptoms. At first, we joked that it was sympathy pains, but he ended up in the ER too, with the exact same issue—appendicitis.

Now my whole family is convinced it was my pancakes. I know logically that my cooking can’t cause appendicitis, but I can’t help but feel responsible because they both got sick right after eating my breakfast. My parents keep joking that they’re never eating my pancakes again, and my siblings have been giving me a hard time about it, saying I’m banned from the kitchen.

So, AITAH for giving both my parents appendicitis with my cooking, or am I just an unlucky chef?

Edit: Just to clarify, I don’t actually think I gave them appendicitis, but the timing is very suspicious, and now my parents are scared of my pancakes. I might need a new family recipe...

So, I (27M) have two cats (Jimmy & Sassy), and they’re pretty much my babies. They’re super affectionate with me but can be a bit picky about who they like. My dad (52M), on the other hand, isn’t exactly a "cat person." He’s more of the “why do you have pets that don’t do anything useful?” type, but he still visits often and tolerates them because he knows they’re important to me.

The other day, my dad came over, and as usual, my cats were lounging on the couch. He decided to sit down and give them a little nudge to move over, but instead of just shuffling away, one of my cats (Jimmy) swiped at his face. It wasn’t a deep scratch, but it was enough to leave a red mark and get my dad pretty annoyed. I couldn’t help but laugh a bit because he was acting all grumpy about it, muttering something about "those spoiled cats."

He got even more annoyed when he saw me laughing and said I should discipline my cats better and not let them scratch people. I tried explaining that cats are territorial and react like that when they’re suddenly pushed, especially by someone they’re not used to. I offered him a band-aid, but he refused and ended up leaving earlier than planned.

Now my mom is telling me I should’ve been more sympathetic and that I should’ve scolded my cat instead of laughing. But honestly, I feel like it was just a normal cat reaction, and my dad knows how they can be. So now I’m wondering, AITAH for laughing when my cat scratched my dad’s face instead of taking it more seriously?

Edit: Just to clarify, my cats don’t usually attack people. They’re very cuddly with me and my friends, but my dad’s not around them enough for them to be comfortable. I’ll definitely make sure he approaches them differently next time... if he ever wants to come back!

So, this might sound a bit weird, but hear me out. I (26M) work at this company, and my boss, "Toto" (52M), and I have a really good relationship. We get along great, share a lot of common interests, and he’s been a bit of a mentor to me. We hang out outside of work sometimes, and every now and then, I’ll stay over at his place after we have dinner or watch a game, just because it’s more convenient.

Recently, my friends found out about this and started making fun of me, calling it “sleepovers” with my boss. I laughed it off at first, but they’ve started saying it’s kind of weird and unprofessional to be that close with your boss. They’re acting like I’m trying to suck up or get some kind of special treatment, but that’s honestly not the case. I just enjoy his company, and we have a good time hanging out.

The thing is, I never really mentioned it to my friends before because it just didn’t seem like a big deal. I figured if I told them, they’d blow it out of proportion (which is exactly what’s happening now). But now they’re saying it’s odd that I didn’t bring it up sooner and that it’s kind of strange to be having “sleepovers” with someone who’s technically in charge of me at work.

So, AITAH for not telling my friends that I sometimes crash at my boss’s place, or are they just overreacting?

Edit: For context, it’s not like I’m staying there every weekend or anything. It’s maybe once a month if we’re having a late night and it’s easier than going all the way back to my place. Plus, he’s got a massive guest room, so it’s not like I’m sleeping on the couch or something. It’s just a practical arrangement

Okay, so I (21M) have a bit of a problem, and I’m honestly not sure if it’s even a problem or just something I can’t control. I’ve noticed lately that whenever I’m doing interviews or talking to reporters, I end up coming off as flirting with them, even though I’m not trying to at all.

I’m naturally a friendly person, and I like to joke around and be engaging. But I’ve had a few reporters (and even some photographers) tell me after interviews that I’ve been “charming” or “too smooth” with them. Some of them even hinted that I was “leading them on.” The thing is, I don’t even notice it happening. I just talk to them like I would anyone else, but apparently, I’m making it seem like I’m flirting—without even trying!

One reporter even gave me her number after an interview, and when I asked if she was just being friendly, she said, “You were a little more than friendly.” I was totally confused because I thought we were just having a good conversation about racing. Now I’m worried that I’m giving the wrong impression to people without meaning to, and I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or make things uncomfortable.

So, AITAH for accidentally flirting with reporters and leading them on when I really don’t mean to? Should I tone down my "natural charm"?

Edit: Just to clarify, I’m not trying to flirt with anyone, reporter or not. I’m just being myself, but it seems like it’s coming off differently than I intended. It’s a bit awkward now, and I’m wondering if I should change how I interact in interviews.

taglist

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@livsturnioloo @lilorose25 @si1ver06 @zestytimbit @morgrinha

@callsignwidow

[lastoneout]

As someone who is on a mood stabilizer(lamotrigine, in fact) what's happening to the people in these screenshots is not what happens to the average person who has hobbies and fandom-adjacent interests. My meds have never stopped me from loving with my whole chest, instead they simply give me the ability to balance my intense love of things with my real life wants and needs in a healthier way. They give me the ability to stop playing Minecraft before I give myself a migraine, or stop thinking about my OTP long enough that I can make a phone call and actually focus during it, that sort of thing. I don't stop having hyperfixations, I just am able to have one and also have a functional life too.

But these people were clearly missing something important in their lives that's place was filled by a truly unhealthy obsession(or like. had mold poisoning. that person is an outlier dw). They use the word hyperfixation but like, I don't think that's really what's going on. This isn't a bog standard hyperfixation on like Hero Academia or WWDITS, these were obsessions with real living celebrities, and fandoms for celebrities tend to take a dive into conspiratorial thinking and vague cult-y behavior REAL fast. Like, I mean, you can be a fan of a celebrity or band and be normal about it ofc, but I see the conspiratorial thinking pop up a lot more and faster in fandoms for real people. Genuinely combing over every single thing Taylor Swift has ever done or said 500 billion times to compile a dissertation on how she's been subliminally telling her fans for years now that's she's gay and attacking everyone who says otherwise because they don't get it and are just homophobes and like, fucking stalking and threatening her ex-boyfriends and spending every spare moment of every day posting about it with other people who are doing the same....that's not healthy. That's not a normal special interest or hyperfixation. That's clearly someone who is missing something crucial in their lives, be it connection with other people or stable brain chemistry or a community, and filling that hole with something similar but extremely dysfunctional shared with a community of people who are also unhealthily obsessed and thus promote and encourage unhealthy fixations and conspiratorial thinking at the expense of every single part of the rest of their lives. This is on the same level as like, someone's grandma who has always kinda been convinced Elvis' death was faked and in 2016 accidentally fell down the Q Anon rabbit hole, not someone who thinks about their blorbos holding hands before they fall asleep at night and is begging for someone to ask them about the tv show they're from so they can info-dump.

And like yeah fandoms can get you like that too, I've gotten too deep before and fallen in with conspiratorial thinking(almost always around ships tbh) and whenever I get out I feel pretty ashamed of letting that free dopamine and validation roller coaster make me act like someone I'm not, and ofc some fans will stalk and harass the people behind their favorite show or movie for ship validation or write up massive conspiracy boards about how "xyz ship is def endgame trust us see we connected the dots and we will destroy the lives of anyone who disagrees including the people who make the damn show" like I was at Phoenix Comic Con the year Andrew Hussie got mobbed(but not in the mob!! thankfully I didn't get caught up in all that!!), I know how fandoms can be, but overall what's happening in these images isn't something the average fan needs to worry about. If you aren't writing conspiracy boards about celebrities sexualities or an OTP and harassing the celebrities/creators about it, sending death threats to real people who disagree with your theory or like other ships, and spending every spare second of every day posting and talking about them to the point that you literally, physically, don't have time or energy for anything else then you don't need to worry about meds making you not like your favorite webcomic as much anymore. What these people are going through is framed through the lens of fandom, but was far closer to going to a Flat Earth Convention in terms of actual behavior and outcomes.

Your meds shouldn't make you stop liking things entirely. When I think about not liking things I genuinely loved as much as I used to I get a little sad because I miss them, when I think about getting riled up because I believed a show runner was specifically trying to spite ME I feel embarrassed, and I'm glad I stopped doing it and moved on to things that actually make me happy and aren't borderline conspiracy theories. That's the difference. These people aren't sad, they are straight up happy to be out, talking about how it's wild to look at the insane things they believed, and putting focus on how their lives are better now. They clearly don't miss these things because they've moved on. Or, in the case of the BTS person and probably the swifties, they still do like the artist or actor or band, they just aren't Obsessed(tm) with them to a truly unhealthy, world-view altering degree anymore. They can still love these artists and actors without that obsessive love taking over their entire lives.

So nah. The average fan does not need to worry about meds doing this to you. These people were outliers in unhealthy situations that improved when they got the things they were missing. That's almost certainly not what's going to happen to you.

(But also yeah even if you do find your interests changing, that's not always a bad thing. Interests change, we find new things to love all the time, it doesn't invalidate the joy we found and friendships we made to recognize that now we want to post about a different show or movie or comic. That's just how life is, we change.)

And if you don't like the way meds make you feel, you can tell your doctor and stop taking them. There are some meds out there that make me into a zombie that no longer cared about anything at all. And so I stopped taking them, told my doctor, and we worked something else out. Don't be afraid of change, but also, if it sucks hit the bricks.

[allaboutnayeli]

BREAK DOWN YOUR WALLS, OPEN UP YOUR HEART / lia wälti x reader

ah, ah, oh let my love adorn you, baby don't you ever don't you let nobody tell you different, baby i'll always adore you you gotta know now you got to know, know, know

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀━ adorn, miguel

summary: you never felt like you belonged until lia came along.

contains: shy!reader, mentions of loneliness, low self-esteem, and isolation, oblivious lesbians, katie being a menace, time-line is slightly messy

author notes: wrote this for my girls who have felt like they are in the background their entire life and wish someone would notice them 🩷 it's okay, i see you because i am you.

you know those people that can light up a room just by walking into it? the ones who command attention just from their presence alone?

well, you aren't one of those people.

instead, you're the type that walks in and slowly blends into the wall. the one who awkwardly looks around, listening in on everyone's vibe. trying to see where you can squeeze in (it always ends up being nowhere, by the way).

that's just how you been since nearly forever. you remember family members and teachers commenting on how you were so quiet, they would forget you were in the room with them sometimes. was it a compliment or a foreshadowing of a trait that would turn into a flaw? who knows, you were six.

it's not that you don't want to put yourself out there. you do, but it's just so hard. it seems like everyone else has it figured out, and you're the only odd one out. everything about you has always been standoffish and anxious. a mind that's desperately trying to disguise itself as normal.

you just didn't fit in. that was obviously your place in life whether you liked it or not.

the only place you ever fitted in at was football. not amongst the likes of the locker room but out on the pitch. you knew exactly what to do with a ball between your feet like there was language between just you and the ball. that's why you made the sport your everything, putting your all into it even when others would question why you were so passionate. they wouldn't understand; they fit alongside the other puzzle pieces of society while you were an outside piece that was meant for a different puzzle. one that involves a ball, a net, and a pitch.

still the moment you stepped a foot off that pitch, your puzzle would fall apart.

that's just how it is.

that's why your expectations when you transferred to arsenal were pretty low. coming from tottenham, where all the other women were lovely but you weren't ever really apart of the circle outside of football, you expected things to go the same way at the red and white club.

and at first, it did. your first week went pretty well. got introduced to everyone, made small steps towards being apart of the team chemistry on the field, and even talked a bit in the locker room. however, overall, you stayed to yourself. the first to arrive at the locker room and the first to leave. keeping your cubby spot pretty much spotless because you didn't want to take up much space.

it's not the rest of the arsenal girls didn't try to include you, but everytime you saw a text in the groupchat about making plans or heard everyone talking about doing something outside of the practice grounds, you shyed away from it. feeling too out of place to join in. why even go if you were just going to sit there and be silent watching everyone else like some creep? more like some loser. you didn't think anyone noticed your absentness from every outing that wasn't mandated as a team bonding activity. nobody has that much interest in me anyways, so there is no point of going you thought to yourself when the loneliness really got to you.

expect someone did take interest. it just seems like you were so into your own head about your awkwardness and being outside of the group that you didn't notice the looks from one of your teammates.

"feels like i rarely see you even though we play on the same team," the sweet voice of lia rings in your ears as you sit out near the bonfire. this is your first time hanging out with the team outside of practice and matches, a mandated team bonding hangout at leah's. while everyone else was in the house enjoying the warmth of the heating, you were outside in your coat. sipping on your coffee with tons of sugar and cream in the england fall weather. why? you just needed some air was your excuse, and no, you didn't need anyone to come sit out there with you is what you said when kim asked. in reality, your mind couldn't take sitting on the couch beside everyone while they talk like they have known eachother since forever even though they basically have, and you're the only one out of the loop. your own fault for not coming out with everyone else more, you guess.

you shrug with a shy smile, "yeah.. i don't talk much, so that's probably why." it feels self insulting to say that, but it's true.

lia smiles before taking a seat next to you. she scoots over until your thighs touch. her eyes glance at you with a questioning look, is this okay? they say.

you respond with a smile back, not moving away from the contact. how could you feel uncomfortable when lia is looking at you with those eyes that feel carved out of a renaissance era painting and that smile that would even blind angels.

were you attracted to lia? maybe a little. she's pretty and from a far you have seen her personality shine so well when she's joking with everyone else in the locker room. you couldn't help yourself.

"nope, that's not it," lia takes a sip of her own coffee, "viv didn't talk a crazy amount, but she still was apart of us. you act like you don't want to be around us."

oh, okay. her words surprise you. it wasn't like you were ever rude or actually turned down an invitation to hang, you just didn't go. acting like you barely read the groupchat and didn't hear the girls talking about plans. you never thought anyone noticed you not being there anyways.

caught in your own thoughts, you stay silent for longer than you meant to. lia takes your silence for offense and immediately starts to apologize, "not that you aren't a great teammate or anything. you're amazing! just wish we could see you out of those kits more."

oh.

oh, shit. she wants to see you more outside of football. not just lia, but the whole team.. maybe? that's what implied, right?

"i want to see you guys outside of football, too. it's just.." you struggle to find the words to say. not that you didn't know why things were this way, you did, it's just.. you don't want to sound like a loser.

lia licks her lips, probably due to the cold, before saying, "i get it. i know how hard it is to fit into a new team. took me a while to get comfortable here, too, especially with all the big personalities." the brunette gives you a warm smile, one that you return. the two of you sip at your coffees at the same time. somehow, you're already synced. foreshadowing? perhaps.

she knows. lia knows how you feel in a way. these feelings you hold aren't just your own, and that's comforting.

"...yeah. i'm just a little scared, you know? it just feels weird to try to talk with everyone else. i never know what to say," you explain softly. it feels like a weight is lifted off your shoulders as you speak the words into the cool air.

lia makes this cute frown expression that makes you flush slightly; maybe it's the cold. she's really cute. why haven't you been paying more attention before?

"i was excited when i heard you were signing with us. you know, i been a fan of your play for a while now. we even played against eachother once at the international level.. i don't know if you remember that, though," lia looks slightly bashful. that makes your heart flutter because you have never seen lia shy before. just her comfortable presence amongst the others. she looks at you, fluttering her eyelashes all pretty when she notices that you're looking intently at her. she continues on, "and everyone else were excited too! still are. basically, what i'm saying is we want to get to know you. don't shy away from us. i swear we don't bite."

lia winks at you before standing up, giving you a nice pat on the shoulder.

"my coffee is nearly empty and it is way too cold to be out here. come inside when you're ready? no rush, of course. it's just i know beth probably pulled everyone into doing some games and i wouldn't want you to miss you. we all wouldn't want you to miss out" and with that she leaves, going back into leah's flat.

your heart is pounding as you take in everything that just happened. everyone on the team wants you around, lia wants you around. you didn't realize how badly you needed to hear that until now. your soul use to be fine with going throughout the world without a solid place to call home, but now maybe arsenal might be that spot to anchor down to.

lia left you feeling warmer than the bonfire a few meters away from you.

i might as well you think to yourself before getting up and going inside of the flat. your coffee is nearly gone anyways.

slowly, but surely you are pulled into the arsenal circle. it started out with lia inviting you out for brunch with leah, beth, and vic who brought along laura. arriving at the cute little shop, your heart was pounding in your chest. the sound blocking out everything else going on. why did your walk feel so awkward as you approached the table? god, you're so weird. why did you even come?

that's how you felt at first until lia smiles at you. she gestures for you to come sit next to her, and you happily do. everyone greets you as well. it feels so nice to be included.

"hey guys," you say softly. of course, you overthink those words. wondering if you should have said something more interesting. seems like no one else thinks the same as they immediately pull you into the conversation.

the rest of brunch goes really well. you don't talk a crazy amount, but you are definitely apart of the conversation. the best part was when during the middle of brunch when lia patted your thigh, making sure you were doing alright. for just a moment, you two just looked at eachother, exchanging words with just eyes alone.

is this okay?

better than okay.

apparently, time flies when you're having fun because brunch is over before you know it. saying goodbye to everyone doesn't feel like you're exiting a room that never wanted you there. you don't leave feeling empty and embarrassed. instead, you leave feeling fulfilled from a good time had.

you even get a few hugs before everyone drives away. everyone expect lia. she stays near your car, leaning against the metal. the brunette smiles at you warmly when you come closer, having just said goodbye to vic who's gone now.

"i carpooled with leah here and told her i would carpool with you on the way back. i wanted to check up on you without everyone else around. is that okay?" the care and slight nervousness in her voice makes you want to hug her. would that be weird?

you don't dwell on the thought. replying to her with, "more than okay. i'm so.. happy right now. that went better than i thought it would."

"told you. we want you around," lia chuckles, playfully giving your hand a soft pinch when you come close enough. the contact has your cheeks flushing, but you ignore that. grabbing her hand fully.

"yeah, yeah.. i know now. thanks for showing me." you pull her over to the passenger side of the car, opening the door for her. unfortunately, you have to let her hand go to allow her to get in the car, but it's all good when you see the smile lia flashes you. of course you flash her a smile back before shutting the door and going around the car.

as you reach the drivers seat, you think over what just happened. when did you get so comfortable with lia to just grab her hand? when did you two get so close she could pinch yours? and who are you to open the door for her? when did you get so bold?

lia is definitely bringing a different side out of you.

you reach lia's flat in twenty minutes that feel even shorter than that because you and lia were singing along to beyonce the entire way.

she unbuckles her seat belt but doesn't get out of the car. licking her lip before looking at you with a soft look.

"this was nice. i hope we can do this more often," lia's hands go to play with one of the pockets on her cargo pants.

thinking she's referring to the brunch, you nod with a smile, "totally. i didn't realize going out with others could feel so.. good."

lia's own smile widens. feeling happy and pretty satisfied with herself that she helped you reach this point even though it's just a small step.

one small step for you is the key to a great future where you're apart of something. a future that you deserve.

"yeah, that's great and i'm so glad you came out with us but that's not what i meant."

oh. you give her a look of confusion, your heart pounding slightly at her tone.

lia gives your a look of confusion a giggle in return. "what i meant was.. it was nice getting some alone time with you. screaming beyonce at the top of our lungs was fun! and i hope we can hang out more. just the two of us."

before you can respond, she gets out of the car. giving you a soft smile after she shuts the door.

"see you tomorrow," lia says.

still processing what she said two seconds ago, you spit out a simple, "see you!"

your mind is still hazy as you watch her walk up to her flat and enter it. only then, at the sound of her screen door shutting, do you snap out of your mind and drive off.

that day was the start of something special.

lia and you started getting closer. you started getting closer to everyone on the team, something you never thought would happen.

coffee with leah, dinner with caitlin, shopping trip with lotte. you were slipping into the puzzle that was arsenal instead of slipping through the cracks like you always do. having close friends was a change, but a nice one. when something exciting happened to you, there were actually people to tell. when you were bored out of your mind, there were people to ask to come over. when you had gotten sick with a cold, you could ask someone to come over, and there were people beside your parents, who actually cared to know if you were feeling any better. all this was attention was so new, but very much welcome.

especially attention from lia who hasn't stopped keeping you close since that bonfire hangout at leah's. after the brunch, you two have just gotten closer. way closer than you are to the others. tons of hangouts, getting eachother coffee before practice, carpooling to team hangouts, calling, and texting all the time. you even noticed her giving you some looks in the locker room sometimes. that never bothered you since.. you were taking a few looks at her, too.

lia was really becoming your person, and everyone else could see it from a mile away. the rest of the arsenal girls never said anything about it, not wanting to push you back into the shell you had just come out of.

everyone but katie mccabe.

the irish woman has been making subtle jokes about lia and you since she noticed the obvious tension between you two. you mostly ignored them, not even believing lia looked at you in that way. you may have gained alot of confidence by putting yourself out there more with lia's help, but some insecurity still hangs around for old times sakes.

you never saw any truth in those jokes until a match made all the pieces fall together in your mind.

the moment happens during a london derby. the score is currently a draw of 0 to 0. both teams are equally frustrated. the adrenaline in your system is on a high as the minutes pass by. the match is nearly over, and you refuse to allow arsenal to leave this pitch without at least one goal. you see your chance when frida passes you the ball, and you're off. sliding your way through chelsea's defense until there is just one obstacle left, zećira. there's a split second where her eyes move from the ball to you and that second is your chance to aim straight for the right side of the net.

more than half of the crowd erupts into cheers as the ball goes flying past zećira, hitting the back of the net. you can't even think about the cheers as someone jumps onto you with full force. immediately you know it is lia just from scent alone. her flowery perfume is a staple in your mind alongside a list of lil trinkets about the swiss woman. lia's face finds it's home right in your neck, her arms around your shoulders and legs around your waist. you would have a bigger reaction to the feeling of lia clinging to you like a koala, but there's no time as everyone else joins on the hug. shouting at the top of their lungs about the

the moment is soon over as you all have to get back to the game, but you carry that happiness from the goal with you even after the match ends. the minutes run out and the match ends in favor of arsenal; all thanks to you, by the way. that's what everyone keeps reminding you of as you change in the locker room. playfully you joke back (something you never thought you would do with your teammates) that it was just a lucky shot, nothing crazy. everyone pushes back against of course with lia being the loudest about her disagreement.

then of course, katie has to come in with a joke about how lia was a little too happy.

"is lia going to reap the benefits of this win when you two get to your place or what?" she says with a teasing smile on her lips.

the implication makes you turn away from everyone else and hide at your cubby, acting like your shirt was the most interesting piece of clothing you ever seen.

lia, fed up and slightly afraid katie's jokes are going too far, hits back with, "and if i was? what do you have to say about it?"

of course, her tone is light. it's a joke you want to remind yourself, but your mind and godforsaken feelings run with that sentence. it feels like there is something more underneath the playfulness. you should know, lia has pressed her way into every aspect of your life for three months now.

ever stubborn katie doesn't back down as she says, "i would say i'm not surprised. everyone knows you like each other."

lia and the rest of the locker room goes silent at that. it feels like all the blood in your body just rushed to your head as you take in what katie just said, no joking, all seriousness.

there is slightly awkward tension left in the room as everyone goes back to changing and joking around about other things not lia and you related. usually awkwardness would make you slightly anxious and overthink, but you can't overthink about the tension when you're already overthinking your relationship with lia right now.

have your feelings been that obvious? and how could you be so oblivious to lia's? in your mind there has always been this small hope that lia would return your feelings, but your insecurity pushed that hope away. lia was one of the first people to push you out of your comfort zone. one of the first to show that they care to have you around and don't care about any of your awkward tendencies. you refuse to lose that connection because of your dumb feelings. that's what you always told you to stop yourself from making any kind of move, but maybe those thoughts were incorrect.

maybe, just maybe, katie was just saying shit to push people's buttons and lia really liked you.

best time to find out is the present.

everyone soon clears out of the locker room, heading off to their ways home. of course, on this day of all days, lia and you carpooled. this night with either end great or horrible, depending on how this all goes.

leaving out of the building, you're holding both lia's and your bags. it's a habit you have fallen into ever since you two started carpooling so much. it's nice.

reaching lia's car, she unlocks the doors. opening one of the backseat doors to let you put the bags in the car before walking around to the passenger side and opening the door. that darling smile on her lips as she uses her hand to gesture you to come on.

"you act like i never done this for you before," she giggles when you make your way around the car. giving her a look before getting in the car. buckling your seatbelt while she shuts the door and goes around the car to get in on the driver's side.

"still surprises me when you do," you say when she gets in the car. she doesn't say anything back right away, but you can see the smile on her lips as she buckles her seatbelt and makes sure everything is set before pulling out of the parking spot.

"i don't know why. i like doing things for you.. i like being with you," lia says so calmly like those words don't send your heart rate through the roof. with the way your heart is now pounding, lia probably hears it from across the console.

you don't hesitate to say, "i like being with you too."

lia doesn't expect that from you, obviously as you notice her eyes slightly widen. she steals a quick glance at you before her eyes go back to looking at the road.

the brunette is slightly panicking in her head. she has had a crush on you since you started getting close and may have been attracted to you even before that. you returning her feelings wasn't the first thought in her mind when yall became basically besties. so yeah, she didn't really expect you to return her feelings or be bold like that.

when the car stops at a red light, lia looks at you.

"you know.." her eyes move from your eyes to your lips, then back to your eyes, "katie wasn't wrong. i like you."

she turns back to the road, continuing to drive. how can she just casually drive after throwing those words at you?

you don't stay silent like past you would. lia just confirmed she likes you. why would you miss that opportunity?

"i like you too and honestly i have for a while-" you don't get too far with your confession as lia cuts you off with a laugh.

"wait a minute, please. i might crash the car if you continue," she looks at you then back at the road. trying to focus on the fact you are confessing to her and the shitty drivers of london was a hard task, so yeah, unfortunately, she has to cut you off. for now.

you let out of a laugh of your own. nodding in understanding, your hands going to connect your phone to the car bluetooth.

beyonce blasts through the speakers seconds later.

lia parks in front of your apartment building. she turns off the car before turning to look at you. her hands reach across the console to grab yours, her thumbs rubbing soft circles on the skin there.

um, has it always been hot in here?

"so..." she maintains eye contact as she smiles at you, "what were you saying again?"

how does she expect you to confess when she's looking at you all pretty like that? the words feel like they are caught in your throat. you break eye contact to look around the car nervously, your tongue peeking out of the side of your mouth to lick at your lips.

lia can't stand for that, so she lets go one of your hands so she can use that free hand to cup your cheek. gently, but firmly, she guides your face to look at her.

"don't go shy on me now. what were you saying earlier? you like me and have for a while..?"

"i think i have liked you since the day at leah's. i was feeling so down, and you just came.. lighting up everything. after that day, i thought you would leave me alone. that it was a one-time thing, but no, you kept inviting me places and talking to me. it was all so new, but felt so right. i really like you, lia," you blurt out, blinking at lia, trying to see her reaction.

lia doesn't even give you a response. words wouldn't express how happy she is about this, so she doesn't use words. she comes close and kisses you. she catches you off guard, so your eyes are open, and you don't kiss back right away, but you eventually you do. your free hand going to grip on her wrist.

out of everything that has ever happened in your life, this feels the most right. just like how football was your savior in life, and there was a language between the ball and you. it's now a language between lia's lips and yours. she's been your savior for the past few months.

unfortunately, humans need air to breathe, so lia is the first to pull away. she doesn't go too far, one of her hands still holding onto yours and the other still cupping the side of your face. you don't let go of her wrist either. you shift your face slightly so you can kiss the palm of her hand before smiling at her.

a small silence falls between you two as you guys look at eachother.

lia speaks first, "can i take you tomorrow?"

there's only one answer to her question, "of course."

author notes: not grammar checked or anything but i wanted to post smt after disappearing for a while 😚❤️ this is lowkey bad quality.. i'll come out with better soon!

© ALLABOUTNAYELI

[trippinsorrows]

ltye: my little girl

authors note: roman being soft with his youngest (as of this oneshot). we love to see it. this is dreamland based.

*gif belongs to @romanreigns*

words: 3k

warnings: fluff galore, some angst

It happens every so often. Not a ton, but definitely on more than one occasion.

Where the house is empty sans the pets and one or two children.

Typically, it occurs over a weekend where there’s some type of overlap between the older kids' extracurriculars. This time, it’s Lina having a volleyball conference out of town, Leya tagging along to go support her sister, Tama attending a football camp, and Koa and Kai at some type of weekend tech training for kids. Roman doesn’t really understand what that last bit entails, but they, along with the rest of the family all have their security details with them, Jacob with the girls, and Zilla and Lance with the boys. They’re safe, and that’s all that matters to him.

However, with everyone else gone. That just leaves him and his youngest. 

Little Ms. Aroha Reigns.

The same little girl who’s currently using her equally little hands to try to shake him awake. “Daddy.” The dichotomy of her trying to keep her voice down while also wanting to wake him up makes him smile a little. “Daddy, you gotta get up.”

He knows he does, but a part of him wishes she would have slept a little longer. Her tiny body curled against him, as she’s always scared to sleep in her room by herself when her siblings are away. It’s too quiet in that wing of the house for her, hence her sleeping with him and bringing Coco with her. 

But, Roro is up now. There’s no going back.

Roman groans quietly and rolls onto his back, opening his eyes to see her staring down at him, just as alert and awake as all the outdoors. 

She's clearly pleased at her wake-him-up victory. “Daddy, you’re up!”

He chuckles. “I’m up, but why are you up?”

She pouts, and his smile reappears. “Cause we gotta make breakfast.”

“We do?”

She nods happily, informing him like he doesn’t live there. “Mommy always makes breakfast.”

She’s not wrong about that. Roman can only recall a few times where his wife hasn’t gotten up early just to ensure their family starts off their day the right way with full stomachs. He’s tried to tell her countless times that she doesn’t have to, but he sees it’s something that brings her joy. The cooking, but specifically, the cooking for them.

So, he leaves her be, and obviously, the importance of this now tradition is something that’s been burned into his youngest child’s head. 

Roman clears his throat and rubs his eyes, asking, “whatchu’ want us to fix, baby girl?” 

With raised fists of excitement, she shouts, “sparkle pancakes!”

Roman laughs a little. “Daddy knows how to make regular pancakes.” One of the few meals he’s learned how to prepare over the years. The Tribal Chief knows his place when it comes to the culinary arts. That’s all Solana. Definitely not him.

Again, there’s that pout. “Regular pancakes are boring.” Her eyes light up. “I’ll show you how to make sparkle pancakes! Mommy taught me.”

Another not surprising thing. Similar to Leya, Aroha has shown an interest in cooking and baking, often wanting to help her big sister and mom when it comes time to prepare food. 

Aroha has clearly set her mind to this being the plan, thus her trying to shove on him to get him moving. “Come on, daddy!”

Roman gives one more heavy sigh before sitting up, scooping Aroha up with him as he climbs out the bed, seeing Coco still sleeping away.

“Hygiene first, kiddo.” Roman carries her into his master bathroom, setting her on the counter as she grabs her toothbrush from her little section of stuff he already set up for her. Together, they get teeth brushed, faces washed, and Roman does a lazy bun with his hair but focuses on getting her ponytail just right as she talks away about all of the “fun” things she wants to do with him this weekend.

He doesn’t mind. Roman can’t recall the last time it was just the two of them, so he’ll do whatever she wants—within reason—to make this weekend special for her.

After letting the dogs outside and putting out their breakfast, Roman and his youngest get started on their own. He lets Aroha lead, allowing her to walk him step-by-step through her unsurprisingly detailed tutorial. Even the parts that are no-brainers, because she clearly enjoys feeling like she’s the one teaching him. 

She does get a little heavy handed with the sprinkles, probably more than Solana would approve of, but Roman also knows his daughter. Knows that while she may be on a bit of a sugar rush for a part of the day, when she crashes, she crashes hard. 

She’ll be knocked out for the night when all is said and done, so he’ll just give her the now.

And they sit in the living room, using trays to share their breakfast together, Roman having to ‘force’ her to drink orange juice instead of the chocolate milk she could finish all on her own if left alone.

Kid has a sweet tooth like him.

Grabbing the remote, he asks right as she sticks her fork into her stack of two pancakes, “whatcha’ wanna watch?”

Her eyes squint as she deliberates over this very important question, finally settling on, “Inside Out!”

Roman smiles a little. That was one of his guesses. “Which one?” Of the four films, he knows she doesn’t really have a favorite, but it’s still worth asking.

She lifts her index finger, answering with excitement, “the first!”

Roman nods. “The first it is.” 

Navigating to Disney Plus, selecting Roro’s profile, he hits play on the film that’s already in her watchlist. Settling back on the sofa beside her, the two eat together, Aroha taking time in between bites of food to explain certain things. If she doesn’t end up doing something with animals, he can see her being a teacher. At seven, she’s pretty damn good with explaining stuff. 

Aroha’s adorable giggling is music to his ears as she points at the TV. “That’s you, daddy.” 

Roman looks up at the TV from the phone that he was using to send a quick check-in text to the rest of his family when he’s met with one of the scenes of Anger, well, being angry.

He scowls, disagreeing. “That is not me.”

“Yes, it is,” she laughs, climbing off the sofa and moving in front of him to provide a demonstration. “You get all angry like this,” Roman laughs as Aroha attempts to provide an example of how Roman turns up his face when irritated, disgusted, or….angry. “Kids! Get down here now!” The laughter continues as she clearly tries to mimic him. “Roro! Time for bed! Koa, Kai, time to get off the games! Tama, Lina, Leya, come help bring in these groceries!”

Roman shakes his head as she climbs back on the sofa, on her knees, looking up at him. “That really me?”

Aroha shakes her hand. “Mommy says you can be a grump, but I don’t know what that means.” She finishes with a confused look, shrugging indifferently as she refocuses back on the film. 

Thinking, probably overthinking, about what she said, Roman finds himself hitting the pause button a few minutes later.

She turns to him with a frown. “Daddy?”

“Aroha…..” Roman angles his body toward her. “I know….I get angry sometimes, but you know it’s never at you, right?” Because that’s something Roman has always done his best to be mindful about, not losing his temper with and on his kids. They might frustrate him from time to time, because they’re kids, but he would never want them to be scared of him.

That would kill him.

“I would…..I would never yell at you or your siblings or your mom like that.” It’s a bit difficult for him to explain given her young age, but he has to try. Has to make sure she understands that she’s always safe with him. 

“Daddy, you’re never mean to us.” She says it so sweetly, like she almost can’t believe he would even ask such a thing. “You’re the best daddy ever.”

Feelings. So many feelings. Things he used to shield and shove away like they were something to be embarrassed of. But, falling in love, becoming a parent, it’s all made him realize that there’s nothing wrong with them. They’re normal and okay to have.

And he has a bunch of them festering with such kind, genuine words from his daughter. Roman pulls her into his side, kissing the top of her head. “thanks, kiddo.” It’s all he wants in life. To do right by her. By all of his kids.

By his family.

“You’re welcome, daddy.” She peers up at him, in all of her randomness, asking, “can I do you hair?”

Roman smiles and laughs, not sure where it’s coming from but obliging her, nonetheless. “Sure.”

She cheers and climbs off the sofa, running off, probably to get the ‘supplies.’ He takes the opportunity to check his phone, seeing missed texts from his wife. 

Solana: We’re good, my love. 

Solana: I’d ask how you guys are doing, but it’s not needed.

Solana: She’s with her favorite person. And vice versa. ❤️

Roman chuckles as he types out a reply. 

Roman: I’ll probably take her out in a lil bit.

Roman: Dogs need more food.

Solana: You wanna take her to the pet store with you?

Solana: Well, send me pictures of the latest pets. 😉

Roman shakes his head. 

Roman: I’m not getting her anymore pets, babe.

Solana: Lol. Okay. 🙂

Roman readies to reply and defend himself when Roro comes back in the living room with one of her sparkly backpacks as she directs him to sit on the floor. He climbs down, as Aroha hops on the sofa behind him and gets to work.

He hits play on the movie as she takes his hair down and does a lot of probably unnecessary brushing and combing, all the while explaining her actions. As always, he just lets her do her thing, playing into and supporting her along the way.

They stay like this for the duration of the movie, after which Roman asks the unnecessary question as to if Roro wants to go with him to pick up more food for Coco and Max. It’s a no-brainer, because the way that little girl rushes to get dressed and is ready to go in less than fifteen minutes should be studied.

So, after cleaning the kitchen and Roman throwing something on, he’s out the door with his mini-me who talks almost the entire car drive, not that he minds. He remembers times like this with Leya and Lina.

It goes by so fast. He just wants to enjoy the here and now.

Wants to revel in her being cute and little for as long as he can. 

But, it’s that cuteness that’s about to get him in trouble and eat his words as soon as they’re about to checkout at the pet store when Aroha passes the animals.

The bunnies. 

She gasps, letting go of his hand, rushing over to the small selection. It doesn’t bother him that much, mostly and largely because he had the entire store cleared and has security stationed around the place. Inside and out.

He never takes any chances when it comes to his kids. Especially little Roro.

 “Look, daddy!” Roman walks over, leaving the cart unattended to see the two small bunnies that have caught his daughter’s attention. “They’re so little….”

“They are.” He knows where this is going. Knows exactly where this is going, a part of him wishing he had listened to Solana. Taking her here with him maybe wasn’t the best idea. 

With sadness in her cute little voice, she realizes, “they’re here, because….because they don’t have a home.” 

“Not yet,” he answers, taking her other hand, giving a gentle squeeze. “But, they’ll get one.”

With hopeful eyes, she looks up, asking that question he was dreading. “Can they come home with us?”

Roman shuts his eyes.

Damn.

“Baby…..” He sighs, trying to explain in as calm and gentle voice as possible. “We already have the dogs and Nala.” Nala being the kitten his animal loving child found and rescued, hiding in her room for almost a week before being discovered.

The memory makes him chuckle a bit. That was….something else. 

Aroha’s frown deepens as places her hand up on the glass, looking at them before gazing back at him with those big, sad eyes. Solana’s. She has her mothers eyes. “But, everyone needs a family.”

And it’s that single sentence that seals the deal.

An hour later, Lola and Thumper are the latest additions to the Reigns household, Roman spending more than what was necessary to get all of the supplies Aroha wanted for her latest “little babies.” 

The smile on her face is more than worth it for Roman, however, as he sets everything up in her room for the bunnies. 

And it’s even on her face as she finds him a little later in the day, plopping her body on top of him as she takes a nap, needing a respite before tackling the rest of the day. 

But, it’s as she sleeps peacefully on top of his chest, her little lips partially open, breath escaping and chest moving up and down as she holds onto him that Roman reflects.

47 seconds. 

That’s exactly how long Aroha went without breathing when she was born. 

Roman has really only ever experienced fear a couple times in his life, most of which have revolved around his family. His wife. His children.

But, the day that Aroha was born, the minute Solana welcomed her into the world and instead of being met with the sound of their daughter's wails, thus officially making her grand entrance into the world......they were met with silence.

Aroha didn’t cry. She didn’t cry, because she wasn’t breathing.

And it’s those 47 seconds that stretched and felt like fucking hours as the labor team went to work on their not even a full five minutes old daughter.

Roman will never forget the sheer terror that set in the minute Solana realized what was happening. “She’s not breathing.” With her medical background, it was both an easy and horrifying thing to realize. “Why—why isn’t she breathing? Something’s wrong.”

The reason, that they would find out later, being something called Birth Asphyxia. The cause having something to do with Solana not having enough oxygen in her blood during childbirth. To this day, he doesn’t truly understand fully. But, at that time, he wasn’t concerned with why his daughter wasn’t breathing.

He just wanted her to be okay.

Aroha was rushed to the NICU where she received the best care money could buy, including some type of whole body “cooling” treatment that was apparently significant in her care. But, at seven days old, they conducted an MRI that revealed slight brain damage. As a result, Aroha received early intervention PT and OT, which was something Roman didn’t even know existed until then for such a young child. 

However, it was effective, because while Roman and Solana were advised Aroha may need to continue therapy up until her first few years of her life, their fighter of a daughter ended up beating the odds, cleared and meeting all milestones on time by five months of age.

It was the biggest relief and blessing they could have ever asked for, but Roman can and will never forget the devastation he felt trying to comfort Solana as they had to return home without their baby girl. It was rough, trying to spend as much time in the NICU with her while still being available and present for their other children.

The day they finally got to bring her home remains one of the happiest days of his life.

And now, at age seven, she’s a happy, healthy child who continues to not only meet all milestones but presents with intelligence that bypasses what’s expected for her age.

But, most importantly, she’s alive.

And that’s why Roman knows and is well aware of the fact that he might let Aroha get away with some things she shouldn’t, agrees to things that he doesn’t have to, says yes when he maybe should no.

The thing, however, is that none of that could be an option. It could not be an option because she couldn’t be here right now.

She could have died, but she didn’t. His little girl is a fighter, and he’ll always love her just a little bit harder just because of it. 

Grabbing his phone, careful not to disturb her, Roman sends Solana the picture Roro used his phone to take of her "babies."

He then adds the caption.

Roman: She named them Thumper and Lola.

Solana texts back not even five minutes later.

Solana: 😂😂😂😂

Solana: Told you.

Solana: They are cute......

Roman: I guess.

He can practically see his wife rolling her pretty eyes through the phone.

Solana: But, you know we're gonna have to get the boys those lizards now, right?

He does, and while he's not exactly thrilled about it, he knows it's the right thing to do. Knows that it's unfair to grant Aroha's wish, but not Koa and Kai.

Roman knows all too well what it's like to feel like the less favored of his siblings, and he'll be damned if any of his kids will feel that way.

Ever.

Roman: I know. I'll take them next weekend.

Solana: Good.

Solana: Girls said to tell they love you. I love you too. ❤️ Give my baby a kiss for me.

Roman: Love ya'll too. I will. ❤️

Roman sets his phone back down on his nightstand and chuckles as Aroha adjust herself on top of him, smacking her little lips a little as she sighs in her sleep.

Roman kisses the top of her head, one arm around her, holding her closer for as long as he can.

[betterthanakickintheface]

Speaking as a white person... No, people of colour and wanting to be listened to, believed, valued, consulted, and protected in the countries they live in, and are citizens of(I'm Canadian, but I feel like it's all still Very applicable) -daaaaring to be any kind of vocal about how that doesn't happen and how they are, you know, VERY UNDERSTANDABLY not fucking happy about that are NOT the problem

To feel so comfortable saying so just demonstrates how far up your own clearly racist ass you are, no one who wasn't would double down and reiterate that astoundingly wrong opinion again but with more words

And "zero concrete examples"?? You've got some effective fucking blinders on if you can say that and believe it but think that white people's love of moving the goal posts for, and pseudo-intellectualizing away concerns, struggles and very real dangers to REAL PEOPLE who just aren't you/us isn't a very real and hugely documented, and far-reaching problem you're literally just stupid

There is no other way you can look at or hear people sharing their perspective on their own fucking lives and what is important to them as a person who is *specifically* not white and is not interested - and nor should they be - in being told to shut up, keep waiting 'their turn', quiet down, that their extremely valid and NECESSARY voices and experiences get summarily dismissed as "inane" because white people just can't fucking stop deciding that every single discussion about how white people and whiteness have done and continue to do SO much damage is about them specifically and personally that they at "best" allow their discomfort to not only often ignore objective facts about how AT THE VERY LEAST the vast majority of white people and peoples have historically been Very Shitty Indeed to peoples of colour, even people they just think of as 'not as good a white as us *insert north, western, or central European nations especially here*' but also to override or bypass sympathy, empathy, compassion or even willingness to fucking listen to them about their lives to the point that we white people shut anything not complimentary to us down. We are so fucking fragile that we can't seem to fucking get that not everything is about us, for us, concern us, have to include us and it fucking shouldn't have to. Especially when all we seem interested in is having access to any and all spaces so that we can pretend that "no, everyone else is actually wrong about things they-as a group have all professed to have experienced".

Like... Seemingly one of our favourite fucking things to do is brag about supposedly having friends of different ethnicities and cultures to anyone who will listen, so why do so many of us not fucking listen to them??? Why do so many of us then also not care or believe those friends?? Try to help? Aren't they your friends, OUR friends?? Even if it's a hard pill to swallow, why do so many of us white people actively stand in the way of supporting things that will help our friends, partners, family, coworkers(not to mention children, whether connected to you as an individual or not)?? If our friends and loved ones, wider communities are helped, provided for, listened to does that not also benefit us needy white people too by extension of being in the same potentially improving society that doesn't continue to waste so much fucking time and energy on keeping entire peoples down because white people are either insecurity and hate.

White people have been the "not all men" people who get mad when sexual harassment comes up; and yeah, most people know and believe that but that(usually unnecessary) distinction ultimately is diminishing, dismissing and ignoring the point of the matter which is that the generalized statement and belief that "men do sexual harassment" is because so many people have had those kinds of unpleasant interactions or experience, often repeatedly. Even if they were not talking about you specifically, and you've never done anything misogynistic or worse THEY have enough negative experiences with other men that that statement is true to them even if you find it hard to believe.

White people do that whenever anyone says anything about how we have in the past, but also continue to treat people of colour like shit. Like yeah, no shit not all white people are feral racists, just like not all men are creeps... But I dunno if enough people are saying that "more than a few(separate, unrelated, individual) white people have said/done/legislated negative things to and against me" maybe we should fucking SHUUUUT UUUUUP and believe them?? acknowledge that even if we, as individual white people have never knowingly or intentionally been racist there is still clearly A PROBLEM because we keep being told it is a problem.

So yeah, it's very much white people that have held us all back, even the progressive ones because we cant get out of our own way. And when soooo many of us demonstrably have been unable(or unwilling) to even recognize that, let alone do anything to change it it fucking ruins lives in a very real way and if you can't see that...you yourself are part of the problem with white leftists and progressives

**as a white person, and an untagged-by-OP one at that, I totally understand if you'd prefer I remove my addition to your post, in which case I absolutely will 🖤

Every white leftist should read this

[utilitycaster]

this may seem needlessly finicky but I do actually believe it's important: calling Verin a himbo is just one of many examples where like, one of the cast says something off the cuff and it's not exactly the right word or it is highly contextual, and that is fine because no one is perfect especially in improv, but then it gets repeated ad infinitum within the fandom when it never really fit in the first place. We have Verin's stats and he's decently more intelligent than average with a 13 (smarter than most of Bells Hells for one; as smart as Pike); it's just he's the guy with a bachelor's degree with good grades followed by military service in a family where everyone has two PhDs - Matt said "himbo of the family" the way in a family where most people are exceptionally tall you'd call the 5'11" child the short one. In Call of the Netherdeep he appears as thoughtful and competent and promoted to a difficult position at a very young age, and in the campaign his appearance is simultaneously as a leader of troops in a dangerous mission, and someone who cares enough about poetry from a completely foreign and distant culture to have tried to learn more about it. I'm sorry, but if you're using the word "himbo" I don't think you're processing a thing about the character yourself; you're just the latest repetition in a game of telephone that's been going on since mid-2021.

And that's not deeply bad on the surface, and I'm using Verin not because he is the character most wronged by this sort of thing but because he's recent and it's really clear where the word came from and that it's not a good assessment, but something I happen to have a decent knack for is pattern recognition in language. I usually find it really easy to pick up on when someone's plagiarized because of the language and pattern shifts. I tend to remember urls and out of place words well. So I do tend to notice when everyone suddenly starts using a single turn of phrase and I tend to flag it. Sometimes that's not bad; sometimes it means everyone came to a similar conclusion and that's the best way to express that conclusion. But like, when Taliesin called the Yios episode a gas-leak episode and the entire fandom started parroting it? The line "bone-dry takes"? The fact that a lot of ship defenses I see were phrased precisely as "I have eyes"? without actually talking about the ship itself? the fact that I've seen a spike in the use of the term "ontologically evil" including in myself and not all uses are actually correct? And extending this beyond strictly language but consider any headcanon with minimal textual support that catches like wildfire (sidebar: remember how we make, or made fun of the SPREAD THIS LIKE WILDFIRE tendency on Tumblr a decade ago? same concept of repetition of a specific turn of phrase without internalizing) all sort of ping this.

And it's fine, truly, to come to fandom and turn off your brain. I know this will sound sarcastic from me, and that's because I don't personally agree, but I do strongly agree that you can do what you want in fandom and you don't have to listen to my opinions so in the end, yeah, it's fine because I am not the arbiter of "fine". But I think critical thought is a vital exercise and I think precision with language is part of it and so if you find yourself using the same exact words and thoughts as everyone else, that should, ideally, trigger a process of "but are these the right words? what do I see when I see this character and how would I describe them? do I agree with this assessment?" Fandom is an interesting and easier microcosm than reality in which to start doing that.

[loulovingho]

Here is the thing:

This season has been very weirdly written. Not only with rushed storylines, but also with the way they are writing their characters and dynamics, and also the way the found family sentiment almost feels gone.

It lowkey feels like, for some reason, they’ve stopped knowing how to write these characters and these dynamics. They react to things in ways they wouldn’t have before (and without habits an experience that makes it so now this is their response), they’ve seemed to have regressed, they don’t care about things they would’ve before.

And again, I know we all focused on the BuckTommy of it all (because you’re telling me that Buck, who was spewing bee facts in 801, hasn’t done research on queer history or queer rights after discovering he’s bi??) , but this can be applied to everyone else as well. They’ve stopped having scenes of the characters actually interacting and talking about their issues, we don’t see the firefam outside of emergencies… everything feels so messy.

I think that’s why, overall, this season feels very weak and disappointing.

I think you've got it! It almost reads like a show where half the cast doesn't get along with the other half. I am NOT saying that's what's happening, by the way! I know they always talk about how much they get along and love each other. All I'm saying is, the way the writers are writing it, feels like they're separating things too much. Instead of giving us a big storyline where everyone works together, they're shoving like 5 different storylines in where you're jumped from one spot to another every 2-3 minutes.

You can't get invested in any of it. The second you start to feel something, you're shoved onto the next thing.

I still think about how pointless Gerrard was. He was not the asshole we saw back in season 2. It would have been a great moment for Buck's bi arc. Recognizing homophobia for the first time. Seeing what it's like to be on the receiving end and having to deal with it. Or having an actual fallout to Gerrard taking Buck under his wing.

Everything has been stunted... except for fucking Brad who won't fucking go away!

[yappielestappie]

Some lestappen thoughts in these trying times:

I think Max and Charles have a bond unlike anyone else in F1, even though they’re not that close of friends. I’d even go so far as to say they’re trauma bonded.

We all know Jos was downright horrible. It’s quite reasonable to assume that this was very hard on Max as a child, and that he felt alienated and alone (recall the quote of him saying it would’ve been nice to be able to play football with kids his age, sometimes). The only times he got to hang around with kids his age was on the race track. And who was always there? Always at the top? Always challenging him? Charles Leclerc.

Charles, meanwhile, had the opposite. He had a entire support system built around his racing career. He had both brothers and his godfather with him, and a fathers love to guide him through. In his teens, he lost both Jules and his father, and suddenly, the only consistent familiar part of racing that remainder from his childhood, would have been Max.

Meanwhile, while Charles was suffering this loss, Max was in Formula 1, in a top team, doing quite well, and had picked up a support system (albeit a likely limited one) in Daniel Riccardo. I think Charles was extremely jealous of Max when he also got to F1 in 2018. Their whole lives, they’d been opponents, and then Max beat him to F1 by 3 years & had everything Charles did not (a good seat, a father, an older F1 driver to guide him). I also think that’s why the Austria 2019 podium ended up being such a big conflict. It was a lot more than just a win to Charles. It was proving himself.

Now, they’ve both matured (Daniel helped Max and Seb helped Charles). They can look back on their karting days fondly, and they both recognize that the only real supportive part of their karting careers that still remains, is each other. All the hatred they had for one another has turned into support, and a kind of respect that very few drivers have for one another.

They have something special. It’s undeniable. There’s no other drivers on the grid that have history anything like them (Pierresteban could be discussed but that’s a whole mess). And now I think they’re old enough to realize they have something special.

Max genuinely cares about Charles. It’s obvious. Their racing is so much different to anyone else Max goes wheel to wheel with. Leclerc is the only driver I’ve ever seen him apologize to. The whole “Charlie I’ve got a space for you!” Thing is still blowing my mind. Max talks about Charles like he’s the only one Max actually wants to race, like Charles is the only person worthy of challenging him. He rates Charles over everyone else even when he fucks up “come on Charles man, too many mistakes” comes to mind.

And Charles is the same way right back, he just usually has a bit more shame. It’s worth noting that he speaks highly about a lot of other drivers, but Max always seems special. He compliments max out the wazoo sometimes. It’s clear that he sees Max as the very best - as the benchmark to beat. But more than that, he defends Max just like we do. Charles always supports Max’s moves on Lando, even when they’re clearly in the wrong. He supports Max’s aggressive racing, claims to LIKE it even, when Max is being constantly harassed by the fans and media.

There’s something between them. Some unspoken reason why they support each other like this and the only conclusion I can come to is that the memories they have of each other are inseparable from their memories of racing. They’ve been competing at the top since they were 6 years old. They know how to be rivals better than they know how to do anything else in the world.

I don’t know if they ever hang out outside of F1. I don’t know if we’ll ever see them interact again once Max retires. But I do know that they’ve shaped each other in a way that will impact them until the day they die. Every untainted memory from their childhoods is about each other. All the memories of loss and abuse are separate to their memories of each other. They are the only thing that remains.

The most fundamental part of racing for Max, is beating Charles. And the most fundamental part of racing for Charles, is beating Max. Everyone else on the grid is irrelevant- an obstacle. They are two halves of the same story and I think that’s more beautiful than any romance book I’ve ever read.

oh anon you are so absolutely right. listen for me, it's the fact that we can talk all day about lestappen and ship them or let our imaginations and minds go wild with w/e but fundamentally? at the end of the day? there is also substance to it - even any form of fandom aside, there are simply facts about them that make them such a beautiful dynamic. there is something so mesmerizing about the level on which they drive, perform, their talents and skills and the way they grew up with and around each other in a sense. the beautiful juxtapositions, the red strings of fate, the way their paths kept crossing and intertwining even before they raced each other again (suzuka being max' first proper f1 test drives and then jules etc.)... there is just something cosmic about them that (as stated in some previous post) almost boils down to THEM BOTH BEING LIBRAS which is still driving me insane. the balance. the way this just screams UNIVERSE just as partners in life, as twin flames, as two sides of the same coin, two weights on a scale... again, not even saying this is related to the fandom angle of romance. like you said it almost runs deeper than that. and i, personally, refuse to be normal about it the same way the two of them are never truly normal about each other.

[sugar--brown]

Oh look! Another occasion to babbles about the mechs!

The story Out is terrible for me hard to read (hate sad ending) but soooo interesting. So here's three thoughts (aka fanfiction ideas) I have about it!

First one: How Aurora works. Not like... how mechanically she works or how a moon/ship can have blood and teeth. But in a way of: how did she "transitionned" (I don't have a better word in my vocabulary) from organic moon to metallic ship.

How does it feel? How do your conscious work? Is opening a door, changing the temperature, activating reactors, the same thing as flexing a finger for us?

My idea is Aurora could be compared as a mecha, but she had fused with it. The mecha became part of her body in a way. She has her own conscious, she can control everything aboard, but not in a God way. More like she was sitting in a room surrounded by screen, computers, buttons and switches. Metaphorically of course.

Over the centuries, she became really good at keeping an eye at all the screens. At managing all the buttons and switches. At making quick researchs on the computers.

But she's still one concious forced to fuse with a machine she is foreign to. She can't focus on all the screens at once, she can't activates all buttons and switches, and she can’t make infinite researches at the same time.

So. It means that on the outside, Aurora is not organic. She's a machine. A machine that can be fixed, repaired, changed, and put new programs in.

But it also means that fundamentally, she is organic. She is messy like the beings Nastya doesn't like (cf gender rebels). She can break up with her. She can choose to go save a mortal if she wants to. She is still the little moon Carmilla raised.

Nastya's ability to consider relationship with machines to the same level of telationship with organic beings is a true blessing for her. Because she is stuck in this weird inbetween of considering herself like an organic beings, but being seen as a machine by everyone around her. The mechs included. Except Nastya, who doesn't care if she is a machine: she loves Aurora.

That brought us to the second thought: Nastya actually cares. Deeply. Too much.

Like we know, Nastya finds organic beings messy and unpredictable. And like OP said, Nastya grew up in a world where machines is more familiar than anything else for her.

I think for a long time, Nastya pretended that Aurora is purely a machine. She talks about improving her ai, she calls her "the aurora, our starship", and never corrects anyone on that fact.

She lashes on her because Aurora was familiar, safe, and honestly between murderous Jonny, vampire Carmilla, and starship Aurora, she was the most capable of understanding toward Nastya.

But Aurora wasn't cyberian. In fact, cyberians were her abusers. So, even if she loves Nastya dearly and will never totally go back to her moon-self, it's understandable that she tries to get back what had been stripped off her. Her autonomy, her independance, her sense of self. First by acting like organic being with Nastya (cf break up), then my making choices by herself (saving Briar Rose) and finally by replacing cyberian on her.

And Nastya cares. She cares about that cyberian part. Way more than Aurora anticipated. Because for Nastya, that was the start of her relationship with Aurora. That was what made her safe, familiar, and understanding. That was what made her home for Nastya.

So, when there was only a line of cyberian numbers left... Nastya went out. Because Aurora wasn't familiar anymore.

And this is my final point: Nastya's problem has nothing to do with Aurora. Aurora is just a symptom.

Nastya deeply fear challenges and changements.

Think about it. She grew up in a false utopy, then violently murdered by someone she trusted, and brought back to life by a vampire scientist and her weird violent son. That's a lot of changes. Too much for a young reclused princess.

This is the root of Nastya's traumas. In an instant, all she knew was destroyed. And all because of messy and organic beings. All was good, until at the first problem everything comes crashing down forever.

I doubt she talked about it to anyone. Jonny seems genuinely surprised by her departure, having no idea she felt this bad to the point of not coming back forever.

Aurora was just the last straw. The last rampart between Nastya and the problems she ran away all of her immortal life. Aurora was the last illusion of something which is safe and will never ever change no matter what. Something which she could hold on to without fearing treason.

So, when Aurora did the only thing that Nastya fears - changing - she snaps. A lot of things could have brought up her trauma in a way she couldn't had been able to ignore. But the fact that it was the love of her life who made her snap pushed her to do something irrational.

Not in the panic. I mean, she saw Aurora changed over the milleniums. And Aurora seems more surprised like it was new than angry to have the same argument again.

Nastya had ruminated alone her traumas, mistrust, and fear of challenges, changes, and organic beings so much that she went Out.

Not because of Aurora, but because Nastya had never been fine in the first place.

It's no wonder Out happened when you really think about it. Nastya doesn't like organic life because it's complicated, it can break, sometimes it's even unfixable.

quote from gender rebels

Nastya is in love with Aurora, and in saying that she is saying "you are not organic life, I can deal with you because you are metal and algorithm and predictable" - we can see this in bedtime story when she says she'll tweak Aurora's story creation algorithm

screenshot from A Bedtime Story

Aurora is not inorganic. She is not ai. She is a space moon made of flesh and blood and teeth and bone. She is not an ai. She is a body that was taken and stripped of autonomy, of the right to self identify, of the right to think- to be imperfect and organic.

The metal is a veneer that hides how messy and traumatized and unfixable she is. From the outside she is a starship. From the inside she can still bleed.

And this makes them fundamentally incompatible. But yet, they are in love.

And really, it's no wonder Nastya fell in love with Aurora. Let's take a look at Nastya's home planet, or at least home society:

"Terminals were scattered across the planet. There was one on every street corner, one beneath every lamppost and one in every commune block." "The midwife-machine performs a series of programmed manœuvres to quieten [the baby]. It cradles it and hums at several pitches until it finds one that seems most soothing. Mechanical arms stroke the baby’s flesh even as others start the process of implanting augmented reality interfaces into its nervous system." "The Czar an atrophied frame, never present in the real world and worn to dust by the chemical compounds that kept his brain alive so it could live forever in a perfect virtual paradise. The Rabotnik a copy, a mind preserved unchanging in the instant before its death and placed in an everlasting metal frame." (Cyberian Demons)

Its safe to say the world Nastya was born into, from the very minute she was born, was ridden with technology. She has augmented reality interfaces inplanted into her from birth. It would stand to reason that being taken from this society, wherein technology is everywhere, inside and out, would stand for a bit of a shock.

Aurora too had been augmented by the Cyberia.

While it is stated that the last time Nastya had used the ports themselves was directly before her death — "The last time she had used the ports, her tutor had ripped them out of her as the rebels stormed the palace" — Aurora is laced with Cyberian technology. I'd imagine she has something of a 'bluetooth wireless connection' with Aurora, rather than the physical data transfer of files between the ports and Nastya, it may as well be similar enough.

Imagine being Nastya, going from Cyberia, wherein there is augmented reality contantly, transplanted onto a ship with metal blood, a jonny, and a vampire. To Aurora, where the only bits of augmented reality run through Aurora.

Of course she'd fall in love with her. Aurora is familiarity. Aurora isn't organic. Aurora isn't human.

And of course when the undeniable part of aurora that is organic, that is a flesh moon plated in metal with her brain hooked to machines, when so much has broken and been replaced, when, presumably, aurora is less of an algorithm, nastya leaves with the brand cyberia left on her.

Because Aurora healing, becoming more of herself and less of a starship, is messy, and organic, and human.

and hard for nastya.

‘Think how long she’s been flying you around. Think how many bullet holes you’ve punched through her and how many atmospheres you’ve dropped her through. Think how many alterations and improvements we’ve made, Tim to her guns and Ashes to her storage and Brian to her engines and the Toy Soldier to who knows what. How much do you think is left of her after all she’s brought you through?’ Nastya held up the ancient, battered piece of hull plating. Just visible under the grime and scars of particles of space junk was a fragment of the Aurora’s original logo and serial number. Jonny honestly couldn’t remember the last time he had seen a version that hadn’t been painted by the Mechanisms themselves. ‘So she’s free, now.’ Nastya gestured around at the spaceship they were standing in. ‘This Aurora can take you where you want to go. I’m going to take my Aurora somewhere else.’

Aurora was ship of theseus'd. Aurora was improved. Aurora was no longer cyberian. (both literally, and metaphorically)

So nastya left.

[neyafromfrance95]

the essence of sauron's feelings for galadriel makes him the perfect partner for her.

galadriel's greatest desire is to be a queen in her own right, to have power over all else in the kingdom of her own.

and this is sauron's proposal to her.

sauron is not proposing to make galadriel subservient to him, to make her into a consort. he is proposing to give her that which she desires. he would be her consort in that scenario, her queen-maker. he promises to make her stronger than the foundations of the earth, to bring all middle-earth to its' knee to worship the light of its' queen. this is not a description of a queen consort, but of a god queen.

trop doesn't change lotr!galadriel's greatest desire, it just adds more context to it - sauron himself becomes her temptation for power! her desire for him represents her desire for power.

we don't talk enough about how galadriel sees herself as the chosen one. she has a god complex. she believes that there is this greater than life reason why she alone is destined to defeat the darkness and protect the middle-earth, and everyone should accommodate her in her quest of a great glory.

and sauron knows her mind. he sees who she is and who she wishes to be. and he wishes to make galadriel into a great authority she desires to be. he chooses her as his god to worship.

the truth is that they couldn't be any more compatible with one another.

there is more nuance to it. sauron sees his likeness in galadriel, and he empathizes with her when she opens up about being alienated bc of her darkness. he genuinely repents for causing it and chooses to help her achieve her ambition by following her lead. and that is the feeling he wants to bind to his very being, the feeling of being forgiven by the one he had helped ruin when he served the darkness as he helps her heal by serving her light, the feeling of being free of morgoth's darkness through binding himself to galadriel's light. bc in his mind, he can be absolved of this darkness through serving galadriel. in his mind, to heal himself he needs galadriel to need him.

in his mind, galadriel is the one being who is his mirror, she shares his darkness, and yet, she overpowers it with her willpower. so it makes sense that sauron believes only galadriel can free him from morgoth and do so by binding him to herself. sauron sees galadriel as his savior.

sauron's proposal is literally him begging galadriel to bind herself to him by accepting power he offers her. binding that feeling to his very being = bending his knee to worship the light of his queen. and sauron expresses care through servitude and experiences love through worship.

so, subtextually, sauron asks galadriel to accept his love.

his feelings for her border worship and possessiveness, and since she rejects his worship, he resorts to desperately trying to possess her. but the undercurrent of his groping is the same - she is the only one who binds him to the light. as in, the part of him that loves her is the only part of him that is absolved of the darkness. and he wants that feeling back the way he felt it when he fought at her side.

subtextually, it is underlined that sauron tries to recapture her being in his creations, and it is the feeling of being bound to her that he covets. he holds onto their connection and keeps it with him always.

also, sauron and galadriel's compatibility and connection don't make for an inherently corrupt dynamic. in theory, she can be a great leader and he can be her good follower. but as it is, sauron would inevitably cause galadriel to succumb to the darkness and she would never outgrow her pride and greed.