#that was all i remember before i woke up
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baphofemme Ā· 8 months ago
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ok my dreams are starting to get ridiculous now (ToT)
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doux-amer Ā· 2 months ago
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cent-scratchnsniff Ā· 8 days ago
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tie tying doodles w ramblings on it in tags
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#angela lobcorp#benjamin lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#technically? never sure what and what not to tag#its cute.. the idea of benjamin showing her how to tie it. someone else probably dressed her in the first place before she woke up so she#likely didnt know how before. and you know ayin's ass isnt going to do that. besides the tie is reminiscent to benjamin as well#small doodle. wanted to do more i might depending on if i get motivated but her perception would allow her to process it and probably to it#first try. would there be pride? the pride she was able to pick up on such a thing quickly? a promise for later on down the line she would#be able to adapt? perhaps a hope? along with maybe a pride on angelas end for being able to do so. a small joy of able to do it first try.#even if her slower perception granted her a privilege humans didnt. it wasnt so sore of a thing at the moment. the wounds of time and pains#werent as of a all encompasing torrent as the hell she would he sprung into would be. the small joy or pride when she tied it later knowing#the reaction and knowing she got it first try. how capable she was. then for it to fade into monotony and a motion to do. a void of what#used to be there. no one to see and only to remember only to ever remember when she sees the tie that had been so strikingly like his#its like.. the feeling when you were so excited about something maybe you think of being a little silly later. but then it becomes so gutted#and devoid of what used to be there new memories maybe soiling the past experience. only to be left with what a void that you knew had been#filled with a positive light. its not there anymore. 'first try?' what a joke. were now on a try of countless repeats that have lost all#meaning and any ability to even ascribe meaning to.#anyways its only short doodles because im trying to find it in me to make a carmy angela piece and a yesod one rn. little scuffed but i#wanted to draw benj of men and angie#... at least i think she woke up clothed. no damn clue . would make most sense for her to be#it would be a little tortuous if she wasnt. either ayin doing it himself filled with rage and what was created with his own hands that#could never even begin to contain her warm but a mimicry and mockery done by his own two hands#then having to get close and even speak. or order or look at. but if it was in that situation benjamin wouldve done it actually with ayin#just staring through the glass not very respondent as benjamin has to help her into something or tell her what to do. having the man he#followed and was faithful to just... standing there and silent as he tries to help someone confused and only just beginning to become#concious open their eyes for the first time. all in all she was likely clothed before hand. still a bit disconcerting. not even awake or#begining to think at that point all but a body but not even one of flesh but one mechanical and man made - a Doll. given aspects and clothes#benjamin likely gave her a tie at that moment there if she were to be clothed. maybe a small marking of work or pass down?
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liebelesbe Ā· 3 months ago
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I feel like I've seen multiple posts about tomboy, slightly masculine or even just strong women characters where the OP was soo glad she's also allowed to be feminine!! And I'm always like. As opposed to what? Being completely and totally masc? Please, show me the forbidden totally 100% no femininity to be found girl characters that there seem to be so many of that you're glad this character isn't one of them. I would like to see them.
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poorly-drawn-mdzs Ā· 2 years ago
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Late Night Talking
[First]Ā PrevĀ <ā€“-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#MDZS#wei wuxian#lan wangji#This scene had massive 'we are the only two people still up at the sleepover' energy#thought let me set the record straight; wwx doesn't open up in the scene. He fully deflects#Nor does LWJ play with ants B*(#I wanted to merge the two scenes a bit that's all#My OG script was a bit funnier but it broke continuity so rip (i.e: wwx outright stated 'remember when YOU...' in reference to the ants)#also rip to lwj saying 'hey U up?' like he's texting his crush. I hope the spirit is still there#We all know lwj sticks to his 9pm bedtime no matter what#and wouldn't be traditionally texting on a cellphone#He wakes up at 4:30 am to go for a run#gets home at 5:30 to use the lan household computer to go on his shared google doc with wwx and comments 'are you still awake?'#cause lets me real. wwx might also keep a steady sleep schedule but at least he *can* pull an all-nighter#Can you imagine lwj at a sleepover? I admit to being the kid who went to bed and woke up 3-4 hours before the others#you either get fed up and wake someone else up for enrichment - or plan ahead to bring a book - or Walk Home#I fully missed out on all that deep heart to heart stuff. I usually was the one to go 'guysssss we are gonna get in troubleeee go to sleep'#wait this is too much sleepover talk I need to talk about wwx in the last panel. It's a mix of panic and pride.#He's just at the beginning of realizing this guy has changed a lot in 13 years#gonna be a while before more comic pages get posted but they're ready to go in the queue!#(I'm still posting other stuff daily though!)
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pthalomars Ā· 2 years ago
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hhhhhghgg... jason grace thoughts... [my telekinetic powers make every wall in my house explode]
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tamymew Ā· 5 months ago
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character that unironically came to me in a dream??
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trashcreatyre Ā· 5 months ago
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I think the main thing that pisses me off about like 90% of mephiles ships is that people will be like "how old is he??" Look that fanwiki says that he's ten and they RUN with it. Like they don't read further. I'm so convinced that most people don't even know the plot of 06 bc the shit I've seen people draw and write with the characters is just mind boggling.
#trash rambles#like yeah i understand thwt nearly all of the named sonic characters are either minors or unspecified#but like#even if he was actually ten#shipping him with other minor characters would be so weird šŸ˜­#plus i dont think it would even matter if he has actually a minor because that uncomfortable power dynamic would still be there with most#other characters#and like#god idk#the amount of dog shit mephiles ships i have to have blocked in my tags is extremely upsetting#LIKE. WDYM?#MARIA??????#STOP IT šŸ˜­#tikal makes more sense but that one still makes me uncomfortable#idk i dont even remember all the ones i blocked i just remember that find the maria posts was like#devistating#that and the one person who liked all my 06 posts and was a mephiles and elise shipper (theyre siblings to me so someone like that liking m#art of them is understanbly upsetting)#that being said how old do i think infinite is??? because he doesnt have an official age (that i could find)#personally i think hes anywhere from 19 (at the absolute youngest) to like. early 30s idk šŸ’€#somewhere between thoes idk#the only version of him that has a 100% solid age in my head is for the ghost au and hes 22 in that (bc hes a junior in collage)#n e way#i just woke up so ignore if this is illegible#ugh idk i really try not to be gate-keepy about stuff i like because its annoying but like#i love 06 so much it kinda hurts tl see people just kinda not knowing even the basic plot or like. only going off the fandubs (which i#really enjoy but at a certain point you can only say mephiles is ur favorite and have people quote it at you or in the comments of your 06#posts so many times before you just like. idk. (also ive had people irl tell me 06 sucks after i told them directly it was my favorite sonic#game??? like??? bro you asked ME.))
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hell0mega Ā· 5 months ago
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guy wakes up in a place he recognizes but doesn't know why or how he got there. he's a bit confused but he lives out the next few hours just like he normally would, just a bit dazed. but once he goes to sleep, it immediately restarts back to where he woke up.
he realizes this is a time loop... but something is different about it.
he realizes pretty quickly that this is some sort of dreamscape. it's a time loop, but for some reason, things around him do change, and he can pretty easily change things too just by thinking of them, like a lucid dream. but he always wakes up in media res once it gets to some sort of end point, and no one else around him remembers previous loops.
as he's trying to figure out what the goal is to end the loop, he's suddenly thrown for a loop when he's attacked and killed by someone he's never seen before. he wakes back up, shaken, but at least it was something new and out of his control.
he starts to go about as he had been but is killed again. faster and faster, sooner and sooner after he wakes up, he's killed by increasingly horrifying ways, all because of this other dude. finally, it stops when he manages to get a word in to the other guy before he's killed. turns out this guy is also in the time loop, and our guy was the first thing he saw that was different. thinking he was the test, or had something to do with it, he attacked him. his time was reset, so he knew he was onto something, hence the repeat killings. he was obviously taking this a lot harder than the first guy.
they decided to work together and figure out a way to stop the loop. they could both affect things with their lucidity and they tested what they could do. they could do a lot, though none of it seemed to matter. if one of them died, or got to some sort of "end point," they'd both reset. they slowly stopped really trying to get out and started just enjoying their time. they imagined things they'd always wanted to experience or see, and it would happen. it was fun.
eventually, they started noticing a certain girl was around more than any other person. she didn't seem to also be in a time loop, but she wouldnt completely forget who they were with each reset, either. they decided to befriend her and bring her along because it was nice to have company after all this time. she enjoyed the experiences they were conjuring but didn't find it incredibly impossible like a real life person would at seeing what was essentially magic. typical dream-based character acceptance behavior.
at one point, they're sitting on the pavement of a parking lot watching the sunset they thought up of, just talking casually. guy one notices that the sunset starts moving backward and forward in time, rhythmically, preventing the sun from setting. things would "escape" their control sometimes, but he realized the sun was going up and down at the same rhythm that the girl was rocking back and forth. she simply looked upon it in calm awe, not acknowledging that she may be influencing it. before guy one could say anything, guy two reached past him and shot her in the head.
time did not reset.
things went on, as much as it does in a dreamscape time loop, and they had settled into some kind of pattern of normalcy. most days they didn't even talk about trying to get out of there. they were able to carve some comfort out of their situation.
eventually, guy two runs up to guy one with the girl. he's excited and says he's thought of another thing to try to get them out. he says they just need to get into a truck and drive backwards really fast. confused, guy one asks why he thinks this would work at all. guy two says he has no idea. he just knows it'll work. he has a feeling.
so they go to an open nature area with a long road and conjure up a pickup truck. guy two is driving, with guy one in the passenger seat and the girl in the small backseat. guy two revs up and barrels backwards, whooping and celebrating the stunt, saying they're getting out of here.
guy one sees the trees whip by. they go over a bridge crossing a lake. the sky is bright with sun. he looks at guy two. his eyes are wild, his mouth in a gruesome open smile as he hollers. the girl in the backseat simply looked on in ignorant bliss.
guy one knew then.
he opened his door and jumped out, tucking and rolling. as he did, he thought about the truck barreling backwards off a cliff. when he stopped and got up, he saw just that. time slowed as the truck lost traction with the road and started to soar. guy two's face fell as he saw guy one standing there, looking down at them from the edge, face solemn. a look of shocked realization spread across his face as he descended towards the ground below.
then i woke up with a splitting headache. so. i guess i escaped the time loop???
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dykedvonte Ā· 8 months ago
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Danse has to get homesick In Sanctuary. Like despite being uncertain of how much his past is real including times with the Brotherhood, those memories were home. The Brotherhood was home especially the Prydwen.
No matter all the comfort and the luxuries SoSu could put to make him feel more relaxed or like itā€™s his space itā€™s still not home. Itā€™s so unique to him cause everyone else has a home in a sense. A thing or place they can come and go to as they please while Danse doesnā€™t. He can never go back to the people he considered family and they can never go to him without serious consequences. It doesnā€™t help that (due to his own faults and beliefs) a good majority of the new people in his life do not exactly like him.
Itā€™s so isolating for him as the wasteland is also a different culture in general. Theres so much heā€™s not used to vs what he is. But all in all I think thatā€™s a good thing. I feel as if Danse had a better arc in game it would 100% have him learning or developing a sense of home before a sense of self. I think it gets overlooked that Danse is a person that likes or feels like he needs to belong to something. A cause, a philosophy, a mission. He needs a goal. He must learn to live for himself and his purpose but itā€™s clear he wants to find that through something which is why he latches onto the Sole Survivor after rather than just wander the wastes. He needs something, anything to base a sense of self on at this point in time and who better than the person that opened their home to him in the first place.
Heā€™s a dude that needs a foundation or home to ground himself on or else he doesnā€™t know what to do with himself or even start.
#my persona take it thatā€™s why despite Danse being an ass to the other companions at time SoSu gets it cause they remember when they just#woke up from the vault#like the world was so different and the things they thought were outdated wrong or nonexistent by now#Danse has a long way to go but they know how hard and detrimental it can be to do it by yourself and they know Danse would get better if he#actually learned and lived under not the bigots of steel#cause I put him in sanctuary after and he always stays far from everyone like strong and patrols the edge like heā€™s avoiding everyone or he#is not comfortable there so I imagine heā€™s like getting used to and actually letting it settle heā€™s a synth#his life if he wants to call it that is a lie and th wonky place he felt like he had a purpose now wants him dead#and finds him a disgrace and he certainly does to cause of bos propaganda#like heā€™s racist but the story clearly shows you itā€™s like this is what been enstilled in him cause he can get better that blind betrayal#and before I get someone being like but he only gets better cause he experiences the oppression and like yeah#he got yanked out of a pseudo religious organization with highly conservative views for the setting and was put at thr opposing end despite#all hes done and rhe brotherhoods supposed loyalty to each other doimg nothing tk belp#him and now hes realizing thag if he was a synth and didnt know ans lived a life fully beliving he was human#than maybe the brotherhood was wrong abouy things or at least synths#like hes not gonna change over night and bethany esda certainly does not know how to right charactwr arcs well in this game#fallout#fallout 4#fo4#paladin danse#danse fallout 4#talking about him like i ever side with the brotherhood
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hercarisntyours Ā· 21 days ago
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I MISS INSIDE JOBBBBBBB
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chiimeramanticore Ā· 3 days ago
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waow
#before anything else i must warn this is going to be. unorganized thoughts mostly#in the last year or so ive tried to regain confidence that i am in fact plural and am not just faking it#or mistaking other symptoms for DID. shake off the denial y'know. as is so signature for this damn disorder#a diagnosis probably wouldnt even make me feel more sure lol. and also getting diagnosed for this specifically is like#the final boss of psychiatry to put it lightly lol#but when it quiets down in headspace ur always gonna feel like. maybe its over. whatever that was#it was just me and brandy for a while#but guess who had a godawful night and then a godawful morning and split a new alter ā€¼ļøā€¼ļøšŸ”„šŸ”„šŸ”„šŸ”„#he hates it here! he might hate me for creating him! im not sure !#hell im not even rly sure if im juno or brandy rn lol. my mind is just so messy today#i woke up.. when did i wake up. like 9:30 i think and its 1pm now and i haven't gotten out of bed#i don't even remember all that time passing . i couldve sworn its only been like an hour. two at most#on the one hand this has all been kinda terrible and mentally exhausting but at the same time. hey cant say im faking now LMAO#the other hand is brandy. the other hand is absolutely brandy. i am tired lol#im only posting this here so i can just like. process it i guess#ive had a weird time finding an outlet to just spew random thoughts into since leaving twitter so. sorry#idk if anyone's expecting this of me but i always kinda feel like i need some level of professionalism on this account#keyword some. i know this is tumblr#but idk if these very open posts are. annoying? weird? uncomfortable? entertaining somehow?#i know I know theres no point in worrying abt how others percieve you . knowing that hasnt stopped me from doing it lol#i dont remember where i was going w this. maybe i didnt have a goal in the first place#idk if you read this far i dont rly need u to act like u didnt see it cuz like. wouldnt have posted it otherwise#but idk why i am posting. idk what i want out of anyone who has read all this#maybe just. interact w this post in some way idk. it's actually kinda grounding for me if you can believe it#bleghh im thinkin of cheating on my weed break just to treat myself after all this. weed + a long walk would fix me
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shatterthefragments Ā· 18 days ago
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And she fucking needs to reschedule her appt. She always wants to do it together with someone. But no. Of course you wouldnā€™t be able to sleep if you never sleep at those hours anyway. Of course not.
And fine. Weā€™ll reschedule bc what other choice is there. But. Yeah. ā€œIā€™m sorryā€
I gave up my weekend to cater to this bc otherwise I couldā€™ve gone another day to get my new Covid vaccine. I couldā€™ve booked for another time. I couldā€™ve used this day to go in and borrow dadā€™s car so I couldā€™ve gone to a waterfall or beach even though itā€™s freezing.
And now Iā€™m probably going to have to give up next weekend - ASSUMING thereā€™s appointments left for then. My last two day weekend before my semester starts and I split my days off. Which is fine. Itā€™s my choice. But I was hoping to do some stuff on my own :(.
And she probably doesnā€™t. Fuck. I still need to take her for bloodwork (overdue) and picking up an updated will since the sis and I are adults now and it might be A Thing that it needed to be updated. And not to be like especially given their health and that theyā€™ve both had Covid now. But. I worry. Iā€™m not really in a position to be able to support the household even if we inherited and there arenā€™t taxes. But Iā€™d have to hold it together. Iā€™m older.
She wonā€™t drive herself to go do these things.
(But I have to drive myself now if I canā€™t bus there).
And I get having anxiety. I am anxious too.
But for it to get so bad years and years ago that it severely affects your family AND your family has asked you to get help several times (on a regular basis too. Bc weā€™re not professionals and canā€™t really help you. Especially when you donā€™t even agree to come along and just sit in the car as I drive around) itā€™s frustrating. (How would we have turned out if you had actually sought help for your mental illness? And why do I just KNOW that youā€™ll blame yourself for our mental illness. That we have to hide any attempts to better our own so that you donā€™t blame yourself?)
Who could we have been if any of us had been diagnosed?
I shouldnā€™t have had to deal with that as a child. In elementary school. Especially when I was already suicidal on my own anyway.
And yes. I resent you.
ā€œI bet you wish for a different motherā€
Yeah. One that fucking tried a little bit harder to get help before it got this bad. Before having us preferably. One that when asked to get help - agrees. Even if weā€™d have to arrange and just get you in the car and escort you there.
One that even occasionally stuck to anything you say youā€™ll do.
When I couldnā€™t even rely on you as a child. An older child.
ā€œAt least I raised you to not do drugs or lie. Or drink soda.ā€
I never felt safe to tell the truth of course I lie to you sometimes. Iā€™ve craved nothing more than the sweet release of oblivion sometimes. Painful violence with flavour isnā€™t fun.
And then now. Youā€™re. Even now. Youā€™re so judgemental. ā€œYouā€™re such a rebel nowā€
For what?! Getting tattoos?! That Iā€™ve always wanted!!
I am frustrated.
You wonder why I try to go out of the house and do things?
I hate staying here. But where else am I going to have so much space? And not have to pay a formal rent?
Urges are there. But. Canā€™t. It never helped to hurt myself anywhere near as much I needed. And I have healing tattoo and touch upā€™s right now. Im ok though. I donā€™t. I donā€™t do it like that.
I need food is what I need but fuck Iā€™m annoyed.
#vent#family#shattered fragments#honestly I slept like shit too. I passed out after dinner and woke up about midnight and then had to go back to bed#and convincing myself to get up to brush my teeth took until past two am#but I did sleep#tw#anxiety I guess.#just. lots of family shit#and itā€™s just. when you rely entirely on somebody else to take you to do things. please.#either admit youā€™re disabled and try to access the very few benefits that might be available to you#or get in the fucking car when I need you to#and I know itā€™s not that simple and that disability SUCKS here#but I work full time and go to school and have hobbies and things I like to do#so when I give you my options of when Iā€™m free to help you get to things. for fucks sake I planned my week or month around it.#Iā€™m not a caretaker by any means#but I feel like I have to be#real reason to find love/get married: moving out šŸ˜­#but then Iā€™d just feel guilty for leaving. bc then who would help?#and Iā€™d have to probably just drive back and do it all anyway#like hey. mum. you remember how burnt out you were caretaking for grandma? without any other job or school to do?#*youā€™re going to do that to me*#and I KNOW part of it is almost definitely that weā€™re nd. but FUCK.#and Iā€™m so exhausted by having to always concede to you.#like we get it. but EVERY SINGLE TIME?#I have other stuff to do too. and you wonā€™t taxi or drive yourself.#just. fuck.#but now I have less than an hour before I need to go for my own. and I need to reschedule hers before I do so sheā€™s not a no show
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highlifeboat Ā· 7 months ago
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Aboslutely wild dream about Resident Evil Ethan and Mia where they were in a huge mall and all the zombies were underneath it in all these abandonded lower levels and Ethan and Mi were shapparoning a school feild trip and they ended up in the abandoded underground following/looking for Garrette from the FNAF movie cause he was separated from the group that had gone to explore the upper level of the abandoded area that they were allowed to see, and for some resson Ethan fucking snapped and it hard cut to Mia running deeper into the underground, screaming about how Ethan was "painting himself"(?? With the kids' blood I guess idk) where all the zombies were but they didnt really pay attention to her and she didnt seem to norice them until one hooked her shirt by accent and then she suddenly had a gun and was really chill and just no look shot it in the fucking head while looking straight into the camera and then I woke up and I cannot comprehend what the fuck that was.
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chaosinstigator Ā· 1 month ago
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Iā€™m on my knees begging now, please stop
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chaotic-average-child Ā· 5 months ago
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getting back on my drawing slowly but surely ^^ here's an aleena
#sonic the hedgehog#sth#sth aleena#aleena the hedgehog#sorta vent in tags but its more rambling TDLR i got injured right after the other stuff lol :sob:#just a tw for xacto knives & vomitting#I probably would have gotten back sooner but I ended up having a pretty nasty accident with an Xacto knife#design students remember your xacto safety and dont end up like me#my mom says it's probably because I was distracted with other events so I wasn't paying as much attention as i should have#you always feel like they're overreacting about safety till you end up in an accident :skull:#or well#Ive been cut before with Xactos but they weren't from cutting straight against a ruler and not realizing your finger is in the way#they were mostly because of how I'd accidentally push my finger too close to the back of the knife#and circles#ā€œGo fast with a lot of pressureā€ - my design teacher's instructions on straight lines... yeah. I did that.#It's kinda crazy though cause I've gotten worse injuries but HOLY FUCK#Like yeah. Spraining my ankles hurt... burns hurt... that time my elbow just decided to be unbearably painful for no reason#that last one still confuses me cause what the hell??? anyways this time was just#an actual ridiculous amount of pain for what it was#I threw up 5 times from the pain all at once... which has only ever happened before with the elbow thing#at least this was an actual reason. unlike the elbow... which I LITERALLY JUST WOKE UP AND IT WAS SEARING PAIN LIKE WHAT THE HELL????#anyways#Now that it doesnt hurt as bad it's kinda neat to look at#and think about in hindsight cause it bled a lot :sob:
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