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#the only version of him that has a 100% solid age in my head is for the ghost au and hes 22 in that (bc hes a junior in collage)
trashcreatyre · 6 hours
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I think the main thing that pisses me off about like 90% of mephiles ships is that people will be like "how old is he??" Look that fanwiki says that he's ten and they RUN with it. Like they don't read further. I'm so convinced that most people don't even know the plot of 06 bc the shit I've seen people draw and write with the characters is just mind boggling.
#trash rambles#like yeah i understand thwt nearly all of the named sonic characters are either minors or unspecified#but like#even if he was actually ten#shipping him with other minor characters would be so weird 😭#plus i dont think it would even matter if he has actually a minor because that uncomfortable power dynamic would still be there with most#other characters#and like#god idk#the amount of dog shit mephiles ships i have to have blocked in my tags is extremely upsetting#LIKE. WDYM?#MARIA??????#STOP IT 😭#tikal makes more sense but that one still makes me uncomfortable#idk i dont even remember all the ones i blocked i just remember that find the maria posts was like#devistating#that and the one person who liked all my 06 posts and was a mephiles and elise shipper (theyre siblings to me so someone like that liking m#art of them is understanbly upsetting)#that being said how old do i think infinite is??? because he doesnt have an official age (that i could find)#personally i think hes anywhere from 19 (at the absolute youngest) to like. early 30s idk 💀#somewhere between thoes idk#the only version of him that has a 100% solid age in my head is for the ghost au and hes 22 in that (bc hes a junior in collage)#n e way#i just woke up so ignore if this is illegible#ugh idk i really try not to be gate-keepy about stuff i like because its annoying but like#i love 06 so much it kinda hurts tl see people just kinda not knowing even the basic plot or like. only going off the fandubs (which i#really enjoy but at a certain point you can only say mephiles is ur favorite and have people quote it at you or in the comments of your 06#posts so many times before you just like. idk. (also ive had people irl tell me 06 sucks after i told them directly it was my favorite sonic#game??? like??? bro you asked ME.))
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tatiejosie · 8 months
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9 12 23 and 24 for mandrake
9. Could you be roommates with this character?
Oh yea i mean we're both autistic and cooped up in our rooms to work. I also like music and play a little bit! I'm a good cook but I have literally no appetite, while Mandrake doesn't seem to cook but have a solid internal schedule, so we'd be quite compatible.
I suspect that it might just replicate what he has with Bella already? Except I'm certainly not going to take any of his toddler tantrums. I'm deadass not parenting his bitch ass if he tries me, he either eats what's on his plate or he fucks right off.
i imagine that it would inevitably turn into me asking him if he can summon the fattest energy drink ever in exchange of me cooking something that he likes or something. autistic stuff that i already do w one of my partners
12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?
omg omg omg where to start!! i could write an entire wiki of obnoxious headcanons!! How about something silly and small, like family and upbringing?
I headcanon Mandrake to have what could be considered as relatives back in the realm of daemons. This realm is divided in main fractions depending on alignment, clan and arcana. Mandrake comes from a fairly common circle with no major entities that impact the human realm, basically the daemon version of commoners. He's referred to as "Mandrake" in the human realm, but he's not the only Mandrake - daemons know how to differenciate, and it kinda works like middle age Europe in the way that your denomination will mostly depend on context. In his case, if a relative wants to specifically refer to our Mandrake, they'd link him to the notion of humanity due to his choice of living in the human realm.
Our Mandrake was born as a Mandrake daemon because his alignment is linked to the Mandragora genus of plants. Mandragoras (and the whole nightshade family in general) have been present in the human cognition for centuries through traditional practices of magic and medicine. The tropane alkaloids contained in mandragoras have a delirient hallucinogenic effect to the human organism.
Mandrake doesn't have a biological parent, he was simply spawned out of the grounds of some circle of Hell. Due to him being a Mandragora, it was an agonising process for himself and everyone involved. Daemonic entities are known to endure a form of intense anamnesis at birth, during which they experience the entirety of the emotions that they will go through in their (supposedly infinite) lifetime. Then they proceed to take their first form as a daemonic entity, forgetting about everything, now entirely non-verbal and almost imperceptible to the eye due to their inexact physical nature. Some say that certain humans experience something similar.
There are entities back in the demonic realm that Mandrake would consider as relatives! Most of them are based on the Solanacae plant family. I've sketched a few of them, they're very out-of-touch with human customs and Mandrake wouldn't feel comfortable with inviting them over. I actually have a snippet thingie where they get to meet Bella but she's considered and treated like a sort of pet
23. Favorite picture of this character?
I cannot choose AAAAAA most of my fav pictures of Mandrake usually include other characters!!!
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Here's a doodle from Gorô Miyazaki with Mandrake in a gakuran uniform, with a bit of a Banchō style to it??? I am obsessed with yankii and banchō fashion it is SO gender. Mandrake would 100% be a good obedient boy in his early teens due to his upbringing, then both Bella and Red would influence him into being a rowdy little shit. (but deep down he's still the most level-headed of the three)
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Bonus point for this blurry cropped pic of the exhibition's artbook that show a sheet of Mandrake's hands. I love hands. Perhaps a little too much. His hands are pretty I love his hands
24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?
Honestly, any Tall Bitch Twink that I've ever hyperfixated upon.
Judge Doom - tall, twink, round glasses, imposing, actually a clown
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Hordak - tall, constant suffering, imposing, actually too autistic to know how to communicate
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luminousjellyfishy · 2 years
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This was a survey I took on Quotev, and it really helped me flesh out Ebon!
here it is!
My answers beneath the cut!
Heya, let's just begin, shall we? Okay, so let's start off simple. What's there name and name meaning? ​​​​​
Ebon. It's a shortened version of ebony, which is a wood of dark colouring.
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How about there age?
15
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Physical appearance?
A skeleton monster covered in corruption (teal and black goo). Dark grey sweater with blue accents. Light grey shorts with aqua sides. 4 tentacles come out of his back.
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How do they act around others?
Very standoffish. They're fairly shy and don't like socializing. He may come off as rude, but does get along with close friends.
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How do they act by themselves?
Silly, dances to his own music sort of thing.
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Are they from a fandom or no?
Undertale
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Any love interests?
Nope. Not as far as he's concerned anyways.
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Have you submitted them to any OC groups?
I have no idea what an OC group is-
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Do you have a published chapter story about them?
No, but I should. Good idea!
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 Published short stories?
I haven't personally, but my friend Squid has!
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 Do you use the character often?
Ebon is my main OC (even more than my sona, lol), so I use them a lot!
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 Have you ever made them in any avatar all of website?
Tumblr
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 Do you like the character?
YES
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 Do you draw them often?
Most definitely. I love my baby boy.
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 Do you write with them often?
I should, but alas, I do not.
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 Do they like horror?
Hmmm, not the biggest fan, but will watch with someone else just to see them scream.
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 What's there opinion on chocolate?
Put any form of chocolate in their sight, and POOF. It's gone.
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 Do they like cat ear headphones?
Only his parents know that their main set of headphones are cat-eared.
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 What about cat ear headbands?
Will wear them to mock other people.
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 What do they think of hair ribbons and accessories in general?
No hair, but does like putting bows on his head for fun and style.
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 Do they fall in love often?
No
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 Do they have any friends? If so, how many?
Star, Jupiter and Atlas are his outside family friends.
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 Do you remember when you made them? If so, when, or around when, did you?
July 15th, 2020. The baby is technically 2 years old ;-;
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 How much have they changed by your tweaking as a character maker?
Not much, when I first designed them, he had solid black tentacles, now (thanks to Firefly), they have teal tips.
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 How much have they changed by character development?
I mean, when I first made him, they didn't have much of an overall "character", it was just facts about them. Now I feel like he's a lot more fleshed out.
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 Do they have a team for something? Are they in a club?
If they were allowed to go to an actual school, then he wouldn't join anything other than Trivia club. He loves general knowledge, and sucks at sports.
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 What's their friend group like?
Chaotic.
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 Are they the precious one, the smart one, the mom friend, the friend who's constantly staring at their phone? ​​​​​​
I'd like to say either the smart one or the one always on their phone.
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 What do they think of peanut butter and peanuts?
Disgusting.
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 Do they like circuses?
No, it creeps him out.
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 Their opinion on lung diseases? (Such as pneumonia, the pneumatic plague, tuberculosis)
They spread negativity, so he finds it funny when someone is suffering.
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 Do they like to draw? If so, what do they draw?
He thinks he's amazing, but he actually sucks. Don't tell them.
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 What are their hobbies and interests?
He can play violin, and they like writing *cough* fanfic *cough*. He is also trying to learn how ton knit. They love sweet anything, and tries to cook, but kinda sucks.
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 What's their room look like?
Space ceiling with those glow-in-the-dark stars, and dark purple walls. Bed has dark teal pillows, sheets are dark purple, blankets are black with teal stripes going in cross hatch like pattern.
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 Do they like, dislike, or are completely neutral to, shopkins?
Neutral.
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 What do they think of long surveys like this?
Boring and a waste of time.
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 Anything they'd love to share but just aren't confident to? If so, what is it?
He would love to tell people that they're lonely, but he knows that it's for the best.
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 What's their diet like?
It would be all sweets if it wasn't for his parents forcing him to eat normal foods.
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 Are they insulted often?
If he went out into the Multiverse ever, then yes they would be. He is the son of the two most hated beings in the Multiverse, so people would hate him too, if anyone knew about him.
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 Were they ever bullied?
They would've been for his appearance if he had ever been to an actual school or been in the real world outside their home.
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 Are you worried they're to similar to another character in any aspect?
I know that he is a shipchild, so they should be fairly similar to Nightmare, but I fear they might be too alike.
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 What's their home life like?
The whole family gets along well, and it's an overall good home life.
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 How are things at work and/or school?
N/A
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 Their favorite animal?
Not surprisingly, an octopus.
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 Most annoying thing to them?
When people are feeling overly positive emotions (he's an empath)
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 Worst life experience?
Corruption at age 6
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 Best life experience?
Aftermath of corruption when he figured that they now had tentacles.
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 What would absolutely break them? What would it take? Has it already happened?
If his twin sister, Naima, died. It did happen sort of, because when she corrupted when they were 6 years old, she went blind, and that killed a part of Ebon since Naima never acted the same way again.
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 Would would make them an egotistical snob of sorts?
Ebon is very much an egotistical prick. He is incredibly full of himself in personal opinions. They don't express so forwardly like his father (Error), but his self opinion is very high.
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 What do they think of characters with red eyes and black hair with a mostly red and black color scheme are other wise original?I Nozomi: Why does the color scheme thing sound so familiar?
He doesn't really care about those types of characters, they exist everywhere, so it's kinda hard for him to like them when they are aren't original.
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 Do they like to write? If so, what do they write?
FANFIC
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 If they watch YouTube, what would be the first six video titles to pop up in their recommended if you looked right now?
1. Vines - Try Not To Laugh 2. Memes 3. Animation memes for Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 4. Anime 5. Remixes of songs they like 6. Gacha memes
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 Do they like green beans?
He doesn't mind them.
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 How about corn?
Loves
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 Do they have an improper diet?
Candy, that's all I'll say. Candy
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 Are they a joke character?
Nope
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 How's their life been like? (I mean backstory)
He corrupted at 6 years old (A very painful experience, they still have scars on their lower back from where the tentacles came out). They grew up in isolation (excluding household family), not going to school or talking to people outside his house. Other than those,
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 Do they chew gum while they work on things?
Nope, they can't stand the texture of any type of gum.
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 Do they have good observational skills?
Yes. Ebon will watch people very closely, and use their fears against them later.
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 do they speak multiple languages? How many? Which ones?
English, but they're learning French and Spanish.
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 K-Pop of J-Pop?
J-Pop
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 Rap or slow music?
Slow music
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 Do they even like music?
Yup! He loves listening to it whenever he's busy.
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 Their thoughts on romance?
he's demibiromantic asexual, so romance is pretty cool to them.
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 Write them inner monologue as if you were them.
"Chocolate? Is that chocolate? I think it is... shit, dad's coming and it's probably his chocolate..." *steals it and runs*
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 Their first pet?
Not Ebon's personal pet, but Killer's cat, Mish Mish. It was the pet the gang has ever owned.
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 Do they even like animals?
He likes sea animals, but not really land animals.
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 What do they think of puppets and ventriloquist's?
Really cool. His dad (Error) plays with/makes puppets and is a very skilled ventriloquist, so Ebon is practicing to be the same, so far, the practice is going incredibly well.
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 Are they obsessive about grammar? How much do they care about it?
Just like his dad (Nightmare), he is OBSESSED with correcting grammar.
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 Pretending you were them, write their most embarrassing moment.
"I can't believe I just did that. I literally just started playing a meme in front of my parents-"
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 Being you again, write their most embarrassing moment.
A couple years ago (12 years old), Ebon was getting pretty skilled with violin, but was also pretty into meme songs. While he was performing a song they had just learned for his parents, the notes sounded similar to a meme, and switched to that song instead of the other one.
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 If they were here with you right now watching you fill this out, would they be bored?
More bored than any other time.
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 Do they think I'm a robot?
Probably.
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 Does the idea of me being a robot sound appealing to them?
Nah, Ebon couldn't care less about robots.
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 Do they like robots?
He likes breaking them apart (Mettaton).
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 Spear mint, winter green, sweet mint, pepper mint, or chocolate mint?
They have no idea what the difference is.
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 What one word best describes them?
Cunning
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 Do they trust Google translate?
Not really, it doesn't help much compared to his parents.
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 Do they know the difference between Google and a Google Plex?
Yes
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 Do they even watch YouTube?
YES
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 Are they ever online?
All the time, they enjoy Tumblr
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 Do they play video games?
Sometimes, he's good at beat saber, and bullet hell games.
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 Any siblings? What are they like?
Ayla (Horrordust) is his older sister, and Kukri (Kross) is his younger sister.
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 What are their parents like?
Biological parents are evil (towards other people), but at home they love all 3 of the children.
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 Do they favour mom over dad or dad over mom or neither?
They don't prefer either, but Ebon has a closer bond with Nightmare than with Error because they've both corrupted ans they both like reading. They just get along more.
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 Are they interested in the world around them?
Not really, he just likes helping to destroy the world around them.
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 How many love interests have they had as canon is in their story?
None.
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 How many love interests have they ever had, whether or not you kept the idea of them liking that character?
None lol
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 I'm going to give you a list of taboo and somewhat disgusting subjects, feel free to skip. What do they think of these?
Incest Cannibalism Bestiality Cheating
Disgusted by incest and bestiality, he doesn't understand cheating (never been exposed to it) and cannibalism is normal to them (Horror)
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 Oh look we only have the questions left? How do you feel? How would they feel if they were filling this out?
Grateful it's almost over.
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 What are their dreams like?
They don't tend to dream a lot, but when they do, they're often nightmares.
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 Do they often have lucid dreams?
No
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 Worst dream (no, not nightmare, dream) they've ever had?
They were forgotten in a Universe that was crumbling to death.
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 Best dream they've ever had?
They don't have good dreams all too often, so every non-nightmare is a good one.
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 Worst nightmare they've ever had.
Parents and siblings were killed by the Star Sanses and Ebon was forced to live by himself in hiding.
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 Best nightmare they've ever had?
No good nightmares, but if we're going to get technical, then any nightmare they inflict on others in a good one to Ebon.
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 What's their sense of humour like?
Funny to his family, but other people would find it concerning.
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 How do their friends treat them? How does their significant other (if they have one) treat them?
They only have two outside of home friends, and they're both family... so... uh... Technically no non-family friends?
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 Their thoughts on love?
Open to it, but needs to find someone interesting enough.
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 Now, are you proud of them. And, thank you for taking my survey.
Of course I am!! I love Ebon so much and I'm incredibly proud!
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st-just · 3 years
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Semi-coherent Thoughts on the Poppy War Series
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(Because I really need to start forcing myself to write semi-consistently again)
So I’ll say outright that I actually liked the series quite a bit, which does mean I actually got engaged and invested enough to start turning it over and picking it apart in my head after I finished it. So, like, this is probably going to come across as more negative overall than my actual opinions of the books.
Anyway, first off I really do adore Rin as a protagonist (I’d say ‘heroine’, but, well, no). Now partially this is because I always love even minimally sympathetic morally grey (..grey like coal soot, in this case) protagonists. But she’s just also such a complete garbage fire of a person, it’s kind of endearing. Well, that’s a bit callous – her entire personality is more or less a conflict between different kinds of unhealthy responses to powerlessness and trauma. Be she’s also just such a mess, and when she really starts leaning into delusions of grandeur you can’t help but root for her and hope things do actually turn out okay, regardless of how many fivers of blood she’s currently fantasizing about creating.
A big part of that is just how thoroughly awful the entire setting is, and how terrible everyone in it are, of course. Like, there are basically exactly three developed character in the entire trilogy who are unambiguously at least mostly good people (Chen, probably Venka, specifically the amnesiac and semi-delusional version of Jiang, but that’s being generous), and the fact that they stick around with Rin right to the end kind of puts that into doubt, honestly. Beyond that – almost every family has negligent or abusive parents, and literally every political figure is a bloody-handed tyrant ruling through violence and fear. The Hesperians are racist imperialists convinced they have a divine mandate to conquer the world, the Mugenese are every horror story from the IJA during WW2 translated to a pre-industrial fantasy setting, the ruling elite of Nikara are so many racist, scheming, power-hungry snakes with no concerns except their own position....
And, part and parcel with how terrible the setting is, Kuang does an incredible job of making all the worst things Rin does (until the final act, anyway) incredibly cathartic and badass and fun-in-a-fucked-up-way to read. There’s a terrible sort of awe while she turns the main islands of not!Japan into a pyroclastic hellscape. And whenever she gets a chance to enact any of her numerous revenges on some of the many people who abused and betrayed her it’s always poetic, in a Count-of-Monte-Cristo sort of way, and so kind of sickly compelling, even beyond it being some of the only times Rin’s really hopeful and happy. (Also, there are fun villainous monologues and quippy post-murder one-liners!)
Also, all forms of love are a terrible idea 100% of the time and is only going to end in at least one of the parties dead, abused, or (more or less literally) killing themselves in order to keep up with the other/earn their approval/try to keep them together. (I mean, Rin mostly had horrible taste in men, but Chen wasn’t able to stay mad at her for longer than a few months even after the whole ‘genocide’ thing, which he’s just about the only person to react to with any horror whatsoever. And look at how that ended up working out for him, so-)
I’m sure comparing grimdark fantasy to A Song of Ice And Fire is thoroughly out of fashion by now, but the overall perspective really did strike me as incredibly similar to Martin’s, a lot of the time. ‘Legitimate’ power and ‘lawful’ authority are ultimately nothing but polite fictions maintained by violence, terror and brutal oppression. War is a hell suffered most keenly by civilians with the misfortune to live and die in the middle of it, and least of all by the people with the power who actually start and end them. A flawed and unequal peace is very often preferable to dragging everything to hell with you as you die for the sake of freedom. And so on.
Now, to start the nitpicking – this is entirely personal and aesthetic, but it was kind of annoying how each of the first two books ended in moments of megalomaniac grandeur and terrifying empowerment, and then the next book started with a timeskip of things having gone to shit and her back under someone else’s thumb, and then a solid majority of the text is spent getting manipulated, betrayed, and finally crawling and clawing her way back out to the same point (both emotionally and in terms of independence/vision) that she had been at the previous book’s climax.
This isn’t anything even close to unique to TPW, of course – everything going to shit between the end of one story and the start of the sequel is kind of endemic to a lot of genres, really. And it is frankly incredibly in character for Rin to go through cycles flipping between resentment at being manipulated and used, and desperately craving authority figures to tell her what she should do and give her validation as valuable or useful. Still a bit annoying to read, though.
I’m sure it’s more me than the books – not like they didn’t put in the effort – but I could just never get really invested in the whole enemies-to-almost-lovers-to-enemies-again-to-? Thing with Nezha. Like, he’s interesting in that you can do a 180 perspective flip and he’d clearly be just as suitable a protagonist as Rin is, and his life’s very sad and everything. But, like, we get a front row seat to Rin’s internal monologue, and she gets thirsty for plenty of terrible men (and one awful woman), the only thing that makes Nezha special is that he’s not at least twice her age. So I never really got nearly as emotionally invested in them as the books seemed to expect me to. Which does kind of hurt the whole final act of book three.
Speaking of – okay, the ending isn’t awful or anything, but it is kind of disappointing in being exactly what you would expect it to be, as far as Rin’s character arc goes? Which might be just because I was already primed to compare this to ASOIF and she just literally pulls a Daenerys (fire-aligned vengeance/justice character with revolutionary impulses and an autocratic sensibility is willing to burn down the world in the process of freeing it, goes mad with power and paranoia, needs to be put down for the good of the country), but still. Her reading Venka throwing her to the ground to avoid an assassination attempt as a betrayal and burning her to death before she realized what was happening was just really heavy handed, you know? Same with turning on Kitay, who at this point is her actual literal soulmate. (Also sad in a broader sense, because those two are like literally two of the only characters in the entire series I’d actually peg as worthy of/capable of being trusted with political power.)
The specifics aside, I’m a miserable enough person to appreciate how unsatisfying the actual resolution at the end of the book is – imperialism wins! Literally no choice but to sign those unequal treaties and hope you’re eventually able to grow strong enough to force them out! Everything is the same as before this forty-year cycle of wars except much, much worse! - but yeah, I really just don’t actually care about Nezha enough as a character for it to really land. Also Kitay and Venka deserved better, even if literally no one else did.
Anyway, yeah, good series. Would recommend if you like the genre and can stomach all the, well, everything.
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popculturebuffet · 4 years
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OK K.O.! Let’s Be Heroes!: You’re Everybody’s Sidekick Review
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OK KO was easily one of the best animated series of the 2010′s and i’ll stand by those words. The brainchild of Ian Jones Quartlery, voice of Wallow in Bravest Warriors and more importantly former head writer for Steven Universe, and current longtime romantic partner of that series creator Rebecca Sugar. That part isn’t AS important, but I still find it sweet.  Anyways OK KO was the story of K.O., a 6-11, not my own laziness for once but the show’s own way of doing age, year old boy who wants to be the best like no one ever was. In this case i’ts being a hero in a world that’s basically like if someone took the marvel universe and smashed a retro game collection and a pile of manga on top of it and then blended up the result and shot it full of gamma rays. Full of heroes of all kinds ranging from those fighitng crime to those who just want to loiter outside strip malls or cut hair.  To achieve this goal KO gets a job at Gar’s Bodega, the combination of your average bodega (for those unfamiliar with the term, i’ts a convience store) and a video game item shop, so the slurpee machine is right next to the power ups and ninja stars, and everything from skateboard polish to Spread Guns is avaliable. The bodega is owned by Mr.Gar, a mustachiosed muscle man whose basically a shoutier mexican version of MIke Haggar but with shades and a mustache. So a somehow better version of him, though with him being busy watching over the plaza itself, doing secret hero missions and what not the day to day operations are left to two teens: Rad, a muscle bound dude bro alien with telekenisis and a secret heart of gold and Enid, a cynical, slacker ninja whose also bilogically a witch because her parents are a vampire and a werewolf. So the series follows these three as they run the boedega, grow as people and fight the robots that frequently attack the plaza sent by the evil Lord Boxman who hates the place literally because it’s there and it’s existance annoys him. This is the canon explination and it is utterly hilarious.  The series was funny, had great character work, decent ongoing stories, great jokes and a fun tone that could go from meaningful and well thorught ot utterly batshit from episode to episode and was sadly canceled after 3 seasons because Cartoon Network is kinda stupid right now and dosen’t know how to handle a superhero show that still makes action a priority, but it did get a solid ending, a slew of great crossovers and a decent amount of representation under i’ts belt.  WHich brings us to today and the start of RED ACTION WEEK: A week dedicated to the series most prominent gay character and the bisexual ninja witch who loves her. I’m covering all 5 of Red’s more prominent apperances... I was just going to do the red/enid episodes but decided this was a better introduction to the series itself, as well as the fact it allows her character arc to better tie together by her final episode, which directly uses this one as a major plot point. I also threw Plaza Prom in there since, even if she’s only a supporting character, it’s still one of her few major apperances, is part of her final major episode, is one of my faviorites, and the climactic dance fights is one of the most intentionally homoerotic fight scenes i’ve seen in some time. With all that out of the way, let’s do this after the cut. 
We start at Gar’s Bodega, just after the opening two parter, with KO starting his first day of work, part of the reason this episode is a fairly smooth introduction into the show. Not even in the door he accidently shoryukyn’s joe cuppa, a stand up comedian with a cup of coffee in the big time for a head... I told you anything goes and I meants it.  After that accident, we find Enid at the counter, ignoring the customers before shooing them away and when KO asks for work, plays along with his enthusasim and tells him to clean the store.. which he does in minutes, before being told to sort the penny dish, and while he does the two discuss KO’s love of helping people: KO just genuinely thinks that’s part of his job, the right thing to do and feels good while Enid.. dosen’t feel it’s worth the effort and people are just generally ungreatful and not worth it.  I really like this scene for showing off their character dynamic beautifully: It starts showing that while at this stage Enid is largely an asshole, she does care about K.O. and while he’s cleaning, despite usually turning customers away, still let’s Ginger, an elderly patron and one of KO’s mom’s dojo customers, not only check out but pay in freaking pennies. It shows that try as she might, Enid really isn’t a cyncial or heartlesss as she claims. It’s also nice setup for later in the season as, and as i’m sure Ian Jones Quartlery and crew were preparing for, we later DO see why Enid hates people so much: her best friend, possibly more, Elodie, who i’ll certainly be covering eventually, betrayed her for a spot at Point Prep, basically UHA or Xavier’s for this world and claimed their friendship was just a ploy (It wasn’t, but again, story for another time), while her one date with Rad went terribly due to him acting like a huge jackass at the advice of his even bigger jackasses of friends. It’s easy to see why she stopped carring: When she opened up in the past it only lead to her being hurt and alone. K.O.... is the opposite. He genuinely belivies in everyone and tries to help them because, as said above, it’s just what he does and what he belivies a hero should be... he hasn’t been hurt or influenced by assholes like his friends, and thus is able to get them to open up. It’s a wonderful dynamic and I love it.  And naturally, KO is determined to help Enid see the light, with Enid responding with the wonderful line “You’ll never melt my icy heart”... give him a few more episodes Enid, give him a few more episodes.  So K.O. Decides to set out helping people, shouting about it to enid back at the store as he does because he’s 6-11 and kids in that age range are many things, but subtle is not one of them. He starts with Geoff and Nick Army, a monk and gay duke nukem reflectivity who despite having polar oppositie personalities, are both a couple, as confirmed by the creative team and then the finale, and a crime fighting duo who are having a dispute over opening a pickle jar with the good old ultra violence or non violence, which KO solves by letting both do it once, which results in a pickle jar explosion, both men in their underwear and everyone happy, especially the shippers.  KO continues his quest, going to Logical Cuts where we meet Mr.Logic, a robot who has a rather moving and well done backstory we’ll certainly get to, and is voice by James Urabanik, aka the voice of Rusty Venture on the venture bros, to my utter delight. And yes i’ll be covering the venture bros eventually, and might be this month. His customer, another one of KO’s mom’s regulars, is upset because her haircut isn’t right while Mr.Logic is upset, well as upset as a monotone robot can convey, that his usually 100% mathmatically perfect haircuts are off. KO pitches in and the new result is perfect, with both being greatful. 
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KO’s next stop on his good will help people crying for help tour, after the above bit of wonderful art shift as that version of ko moveds like a south park character for some reason. Anyways, it turns out best friends, co workers and the dante and randal of this show, i.e.two best friends working a dead end job who despite arguing a lot need each other, A Real Magical Skeleton, self explaintory and Greg, a bear, are having an argument because RMS is trying to do their job and frame a baseball for a guy while Greg is being a dickhead and playing the drums constantly. As you can probably wager, I do not like Greg, probably more than rusty, partly because a future episode has him making KO doubt his macaroni art gift for his mom so he can eat it, yes really,and partly because he’s less intresting than his buddy and yet the two are shipped frequently despite my honest assumption they’d kill each other.. much like if dante and randall finally banged. However if you do ship them, I have no hostility with you. Unlike say loudcest or shipping sam with lincoln over at the loud hosue, there's nothing wrong with RMS X Brandon, it’s just not for me.  Anywho KO solves it in the hilarious and awesome manner of just putting Brandon inside one of those baseball cube things... it’s a shame he apparently gave him air holes but whatever. Proud of himself, K.O. plans to head back when he runs into the Ally Teens: Red Action, rude teen warrior from the future who just had a bad haircut, Drupe, a sentient strawberry because of course, and Greg, Drupe’s nonbinary best friend and combination of one of the bone cousins and Woodstock. K.O. offers to help and , with the trio being huge steaming bowls of elephant piss at this point, they instead trick him into waiting in a lava flow and then have drupe whip him every time the lava causes him to cartoonishily jump in the air.  Yeah despite both Red Action and Drupe going on to having supporting roles, like our good pal tom, who I will get back to this month, there isn’t nearly as much wiggle room in their first apperance. With Tom Lucitor, he was a dick.. but you could make the case, even just off that ep that he genuinely dosen’t know HOW to be a good person or that what he’s doing is sketchy at best. Here, it’s fairly obvious the ally teens know setting a child on fire and using vine whip on him super effectively is wrong, that’s why their doing it. Red, being that special brand of asshole, posts it on social media. I mean posting a video of yourself hurting a child, that’s Tucker Carlson level’s of dickery right there. Stone cold. Enid sees it and is understandably concerned, and goes over to see if KO’s allright when he returns and is forced to explain to him that no they weren’t laughing with him, they were laughing at him and were just being dicks. Also he wasn’t in lava, it was magma. It was above ground. 
K.O. glumly wonders why and Enid reitrates this kind of shit is why she dosen’t help people. K.O. also wonders how she saw it and we find out Enid is basically facebook stalking red action on her social media, as you do, and that Red’s been on a bit of a tear lately, smashing up shit and farting in Geoff’s face all because she got a bad haircut, with K.O. , likely going thorugh more of her posts, realizing theirs a pattern: When bad things happen to her she lashes out at others.. just like Enid. I do like the parallel there: Enid likely has a crush on her because the two are fairly similar.. but Enid runs cold and tens to be standoffish as a result of her past, while Red tens to take out her anger and frustration on everyone else and runs red hot. But they come together because opposities attract... it’s what noble laurite MC Scat Kat taaught us after all.  K.O. however, having Steven Universe level’s of empahty and an equal sense of wanting to help, and just as few boundries as he had as a tween, decides that it’s clear the ally teens have underlying issues to adress and gets Enid help to look at their social media. Returning to the ally,and seemingly unphased by earlier, K.O. sets out helping them, starting by helping red get her haircut fixed by Mr. Logic. Red is adorably delighted. Moving on K.O. notes that Drupe basically just follows Red’s lead but has a fashion blog and clearly an identiy of her own and we soon learn she believes no one reads it. K.O. showed it to the not at all ambigiously gay duo and Geoff and Nick thank her> That’s two blushes and two wins in K.O.’s court.  Finishing up, K.O. realizes Gregg stays quiet because they have low self esteem and feel they have nothing to be proud of. K.O. however found lots to be proud of and framed Gregg’s valdectorian certificate for him, again with some help from earlier.  Instead of graditude red just calls him weird and leaves and KO slumps back depressed. I’ts a good lesson though: people DON’T change just because you did one weirdly kind thing for them. That takes time.. as we’ll see with Red and as we see with Drupe, who has less of an ons creen journey but is far nicer after her next apperance. While Enid is grossed out over having helped someone, Gregg comes in.. and after some great deranged animation thanks K.O. and Enid admits after some prodding that it does feel good to help, and K.O. is happy to have helped her int he process. The two playfully mess around as the episode ends. Final Thoughts: This was a really good one. Reaching back this far into the series, I didn’t think it’d would be nearly as good as it ended up: It serves both as a good proper introduction for a lot of the plaza regulars, a good setup for Enid’s character arc, and was also really funny with great animation. LIke Tom, I don’t think the creators knew exactly what they were going to do with the Alley Teens and thus take the two they end up focusing on in opposite directon: Red keeps her assholishness for her next apperance and grows from it, while Drupe’s drops off by the end of this season, likely due to her fashion blog taking off, but we’ll get into Red more in a review or so and Drupe more later this month.For now this episode was good and next up we have their next apperance in Plaza Prom. Until then, follow this blog for more reviews and nonsense, like and reblog it if you enjoyed this, hit me up with asks for review suggestions or comssions and until next time, later days!
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ne-fe-li-bata · 4 years
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Aye yo CORPSE!  ...
Dead ass;
You can't convince me that Corspe was/is/does ; 
in no particular order..
• Deserve to be held ( I would smother him with my chest and hold him tighter than he has ever been held) & protected from this world
• Pyro! Mans loves🔥🔥🔥 - mostly his fav elemental  (Leo is a fire sign); “WOOO... now that’s a fire!”
•  Loves knives/weapons- has a collection (quite a nifty 1, ay thank-a-you) & even knows how to use butterfly knives/ tackle combat.
      Has a collection of weapons (brass knuckle, daggers, swords, knives,etc.)
•  Highly interested in combat/training. Most likely has training in some sort of combat. Loves any form of physical combat < UFC,MMA, Boxing, any type of martial arts>
•  Absolute proper gentlemen / clearly has the utmost charm/cunning
      I.e holds the door open & will slap yo ass on the way in, moves you away from street side when walking, pulls chairs, defends your honor, etc.
• Takes A . L . O . T  to truly capture his attention- but once you have it ..%100
•  With his person; protective/obsessives/ possessive/ sensual/ affectionate .
              < mine is mine. me no share -like absolutely not at all>
             “ You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down for ya“
• RP'er on DeviantArt/chats had his own OC. (also prob had his fav person to RP with) 
         <prob even talked to them in MSN or private chat>
•  Watched mostly nothing by anime/cartoons (nick/CN) as a kid & also mostly watched certain shows/movies as a kid well into his teens
         (could recite quotes/scenes as second nature)
•  Not a major musical theatre type of kid. But musical movies/shows was 1 of his favs- but still highly interested/ in love with theatre/musicals/preforming arts none the less.
-EYES DON’T LIE
•’staring problem’ he’d just stare at you -deep in his head (both good & bad) you’d have to bring him back to you ..”babe- eh, come *snap*back to me. What’s on your mind my love?’
•  Genuinely a really warm person- but only to certain people, but comes across cold & distance 
•  Grew up in the internet & knows the way around the 'business' & 'faceless' YouTubers/celebrities
•  His teens/ late adolescents consisted & grew up on YouTube O.G videos/ video game commentary/content;
  Cry.. <Cry was a huge part of my life & still hold a special place in my heart. Corspe just like I was most likely devastated with the shit that went down> 
Jack
Nova
Sp00n
Jontron
Smosh
Nigahiga
Shane
Jenna
Hanna Hart
Phil/Dan
KevJumba
Ray William Johnson
Pewds
Machinima
EMT
ERB
Wassabi Prod.
VlogBros, 
-etc
• Has an oral fixating (lovebites indefinitely <like dead ass ya’ll be chillan/ out & he’d attack you> & just needs something in his mouth always)
• Fidgety af, always need to be playing with something in his hands/playing with 
•  Is a goddamn absolute certified freak--but also super soft bean boi. (can't stress how this boi needs& deserves to be protected)
• Constant hand/arm touching/stroking for comfort.
• Daddy{papi} / Mommy(mamá) . Master . Sir  kink - hard control kinks- but highly sub. 
hard(er) kinks
• Lovebites = M I N E 
obvs fishnets/ crossbody straps/ lingerie
lace
collars/ restraints 
toys
     •RP
degrading/praising
sub/dom switch
showing/proving your actually/completely & utterly his/ he’s completely & utterly yours..
& of course you know it's go time when 1 - if not both of you has kitty ears on. 
over stim 
*no touchy/ don’t let me go*
“look at what I’ve done to you”
“you kno only I can do this to you”
“look how greedy you are for me”
“look at the mess you’ve made because of me’ 
“cum on my face”/’cum for me”
“who do you belong to” / “you belong to me & only me”
100% all black clothing 🖤
*that once we get home / I swear I’ll deal with you right here, right now* look 
primal play  “when you run from me, it only makes me want you more” “you know imma find you kitten”
pet names (beast< i feel like you call this man “ (a) beast”-he about to lose his absolute fucking mind> , “oh Corpse/______, you absolute fuckin’ beast- my God” kitten, babyboy/girl, baby(e), bae, my love, lover boy, my darling, slut, needy little bitch, cum slut, lil’ whore, master/mistress, king/queen”
“only yours” “just ______” “ no-one but _____” “only____” “only you” 
‘I’ll keep you so no one can find you or bother us’
“that’s my girl” / “that's my boy”
“would you like to/ I saw----”
“look at me” “don’t look away from me”
GROWLING / talking through clenched jaw
not breaking eye contact 
     • his name & ‘Corspe’ being cried out 
“cry out my name for me baby. know who you belong to”
video/sexing/teasing 
breeding kink
voyeurism
abrasions
aftercare af 
impact play 
24/7
edging 
accidental stim; “holy fuck- I’m so turned on by you rn”
rope bondage 
begging 
worships 
•  But also soft kinks; 
MEME SENDING
head on lap/chest
naps
playing with hair 
matching outfits
voice messages 
always touching (somehow)
no space between bodies
picture taking together/ just of you
body rubs, head rubs
massages
competition 
play fighting
“this reminded me of you”
“I remember you said” “I know you...”
“you know I love you”
“I can tell by your eyes”
“ugh- I swear to shit imma marry you 1 day”
“nothing really made sense until you”
“do you wanna watch”/ “WAIT!? YOU HAVEN’T SEEN?!”
“damn- you really do love/like me, eh?”/ “you are SO fucking mine”
“that’s my girl”/ “that's my boy”
pet names/ “MY_______” “YOURS”
long stares
dates- stay at home dates are his fav, as your attention/focus is just on him 
choker/necklace/ jewelry (that 1 of you bought- NOT LIKE HIGH PRICE TAG, but like seen it & was like ‘omg ____ would so wear...’) 
cuddles with movies /anime watching time
just being in the same room/on call- even in silence 
* emojis*- just some sort of communication 
inside jokes/ puns/dark humor
seeing 1 another with kids
future kink (family, travel, etc)
playing video games 
dancing/ singing with 1 another
Sitting on the ground, wrapped around his leg when he streams/edits
Nerf gun fights 
Watching him record (tracks/editing/streaming)
•  Loves- loves surprises <like dead ass would set up a surprise date/ do a scavenger hunt for you/ surprise you with your fav thing>
•  Loyalty is everything & his best attribute (& pride) 
• The music that he make is from the soul/heart. He pit everything has has/what he has left into his art
•  No one has seen the real him - a side he truly hides
•  He's both book & street smart
           Taught himself through YouTube/Reedit/online 
•  Fav actors; Jim Carrey/Robbin Williams/Will Smith (?)
•  Man’s straight up dangerous. we only know like a  quarter of him & people fall at his feet. ( h e . i s . n o t . t o . b e. F U C K E D . w i t h) 
•  Hates silence 
         ( constantly needs background noise)  <also can't fight me on this babyboi cuddles pillows/blankets for night-night time>
•  People don't understand the pain he is in every day, unless they have fibromyalgia/GERD/high functioning (sever social)anxiety/depression/ agoraphobia 
(my mom suffers with fibro/depression <I myself have GERD/ sever social amenity/depression>& I wouldn't wish those illness on my worse enemy...)
• Over all pain has changed him
• Has dealt with self harm since a young age- most likely 9- 11 yrs old. (as someone else who’s suffered with SH for years- when you become so numb it 1 of the only ways to feel some sort of anything/makes you feel like you’re alive)
• Addiction (drugs/people/things)
•  Wrote & read a lot of fanfiction
        (most likely his main source of reading in pre/teenage years)
• Is a hopeless romantic but has his guard way up
•  Obsessed with Japan / Studio Ghibli
• Doesn't think he deserves any of the recognition/ fame he's gotten--but definitely deserves it all as he's creative & inspirational as fuck. Also he’s worked so hard for it & had put himself through so much
    Contrary is highly appreciative of those that are supporting
• Doesn't do it for the fame but for the fact he know how he's gotten people through hard time (just like those on the internet got him through)
• Was a scene boy that vibe’d of myspace/ listens to a lot of  ‘scene’ pop-punk, emo/ scene band shit (band?)
•  Also is/was a major tumblr boy
•  Would be a phenomenal father
•   His love language: physical touch & words of affirmation 
• He would flinch at touch movement but would melt in your hands
• Face caresses would trigger anxiety/ tears.. but once he’s calmed/comfortable would burry his face in your touch. neck & chest
•  Still caught up in daydreams
•  A part of him is still never satisfied even if it’s exactly to the pin point detail of what he wanted  
•  Has at least 40/50(ish) songs he hasn't released
•  Mommy & daddy issues (not saying his home life was really- really  fucked - but non the less- it certainly wasn't the best).. Also wants to protect/provide for his family (especially his sister) & was prob closer to a grandparent/aunt/uncle)
•  Definitely prefers to be by himself, as every time people come around, it's like;‘"this is why I'm okay (ish)with being alone" 
• lost an important person to him due to O.D/ suicided..
•  Also most likely to of heard his "friends" shit talking 'Corpse' or something correlated with him
•  His pride is his biggest sin (next to lust)
•  Has single-handedly defined a huge part of 2020 ( in the best way)
•  Went through a fighting stage where he was ready to fuck anyone up on a drop of a dime (middle/'high school'/street fights- possibly even under ground)
          but also a stage where he cut absolutely everyone off for a solid couple years
•  Most likely obsessed with 1 of 3 creatures; lion, dragon, wolf ( 5ish- possibly bear/fox)
•  Dinosaur obsessed 
• Internet & video games raised him
• He raised himself
Quick to adapt to surroundings/situations.
•  Mighty Morphin Power Rangers was his shit ( I CAN SO SEE YOUNG BABYBOI RUNNIN AROUND THE HOUSE IN A POWER RANGER SUIT) "IT'S MORPHIN' TIME MOTHER FUCKER"
              fav ranger- green 
•  Has up until next year planned out & is working on the next 'version of corpse' ( PR, vids, music, etc)
•  Also med/high key this man was most likely in a physcward (more than once) ..
•  This man deserves more than he'll ever give himself recognition for & knows in the back of his mind--people will hate just to hate
•  Rose is his fav flower  🌹
•⛈️🌧️. >🌞.  Loves storms/ rain & prefers them over sunny days
•  Loves the moon/stars/space (?) < observatorium dates = fuckin mint>
• Pixar/Disney lover
        <still believes- deep down in happy ever after ... but thorough an twisted yet not so twisted- simple(??), dedicated process(?)>
•  Fav Pixar movie.. either Wall.E or Toy Story 
    •  Pixar > Disney
         •  But fav Disney movie- Beauty & the Beast (?)
• Most likely had a Jackass obsession's (doing dumb hoodshit)
•  Fall is his fav season (?)
•  Horror/ thriller movies/shows over everything (obvs)
•   Had an escape place in town where he’d hide from the world- that absolutely no one knew about. 
•  Was really into graffiti/ street art 
•  Arested as a youth - but charges dropped- or was still considered a mirror (either fighting/ possession/ trespassing/ vandalisms)
• Arrested on heavier charges (also same as above - but not tried as an minor)
•  also-ALSO ... thou he feels like he owes people something. HE DOESN’T OWE ANYTHING TO A N Y O N E . His mental & well being is the most important.
•  On a side & major note. You can't deny that this man single handily is a (in my opinion) the 2nd biggest “C” that define 2020.
•  Was most likely really into skateboarding/BMX
• Late night drives/impulsive road trips & playlist/ sitting at lookouts, just in silence & touching 1 another. 
• Clingy af-.. but could also be distance & cold af- especially on high pain days. stormy brain days. PTSD episodes.
• Slow dancing/ dancing around the apartments. with or without music.
• Rocking out with each other- screaming lyrics in each other face.
• “hey baby- how you feelin” 
         *grunting* *shuffles over & lays on chest* 
• Huge comforts for 1 another;
      Especially when going out, being wrapped around him for comfort & reassurance. Even being at home alone together- panic attacks are shit, PTSD episodes are even more shit. helping each other with bathing & caring
     When he’d be hiding from his reflection- or stares just a little too long. Going up behind him & worship him (vise versa)
• He’d be your biggest hypeman/ #1 fan (vise versa)
• Would LOVE you wearing his clothes/jewelry & would love to wear you things.
Was probably engaged to his ex (that's why he gets offt when people mention "corpse wife"
There'd be days where he'd be so distance & cold.. & tell you to leave but wouldn't let you.
He'd sit in the bathroom with you when you shower/have a bath.
As he doesn't sleep most night. He'd be up just watching you sleep & caressing you.
Lil spoon > big spoon.
<more to be added>
I love you... genuinely . turly.  madly. deeply.
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juniebjoneswrites · 4 years
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Bring Me Home // Harry Styles
This is War (2)
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What does running do for me? Other than being a gateway drug to mindlessness, it shows me places I didn’t know existed. It also gives an incredible high that puts some meat on my bones. Like seriously. I could write love letters to my endorphins. I would ask how they’re doing and if they missed me while I was gone. I would ask how they felt in the dark and when it came time to play, I would dream of their favorite games. They have answers to questions I can’t ask, and know when to turn a blind eye to the darkness in my mind. I am thankful for their wilful ignorance. 
There’s a street I run that has a name I’ve never cared to remember but I know the way there like I know my way up the cliff. It’s been an ongoing venture. I see the lives there in the mornings as they wake up, innocent to the day that reaches beyond their grasp. I know if they stretched a little further they could touch it. Would they hand it to me if they could? They’ve seen me running for so long now they think I’m just a girl from down the street. I belong, so I must be safe. Right?
I see them in the night when they stumble home after a day when their outstretched hand just wasn’t quite good enough. They have all the makings of myself. I revel in their sorrow, but offer help. “Ah, one of the runners,” they say. They ask how I am and if I’m liking the neighborhood.  I smile politely, “It’s beautiful, I’m just around the corner,” I always motion behind us regardless of where we face. “It’s the brick one with a balcony,” usually they’re too wrapped up in their day to realize they’re all bricks with blaconies, or too polite to press further. Maybe they just think I’m being clever and safe. 
“Let me help you inside,” I call out to a man as he stumbles from his car. He gives me a look of recognition as he hands me his keys. I smile in return. We’ve spoken before. 
“Thank you,” he licks his lips. I smile wider, fighting back bile in the back of my throat. “Would you like to join me?” It would be a lie to say that all our conversations were innocent. 
“I’m sure your wife wouldn’t like that,” I respond coyly. 
“No wife,” he holds up his bare ring finger. ‘Bare’ being a generous word. There’s a tan line where his band would be, he's taken it off for the night. Maybe wants me to think he’s newly divorced. 
His wife is on a work trip for the night. I know this because she told me the day before as I helped her put a big, fancy carseat in the back of her car as the child herself was throwing a fit. “Of course it delivers the day before my trip and I have to rush before work to get it in,” she laughed and wiped her brown hair from her forehead and tucked it behind her ear. Her wedding ring glistened in the morning sun. “Husbands are useless, but I’m sure you’ll learn that eventually.” I laughed with her and commented that he must be okay if he’s going to be watching the child while she’s gone. She tells me her daughter will be with her grandparents.
His words tumble out together and I hear them fall around me like a castle under attack. “But seem like  someone who wouldn’t care,” A flattery king. Knights may be able to stop the soldiers but they can’t fight catapults. My anger bubbles. I steal my smile. I move up the stairs and grab his keys. This is a war.
 Leaning against the frame I put the key in the door and swing it open wide. He smiles, I whistle a tune, he stumbles through. I lead him to the couch and he pulls me on top. He tastes like a deep bourbon and nachos with extra onions. I let him take my running jacket off. The knife I have in a hidden pocket clatters to the floor and I worry he’ll question the sound. He doesn’t, and it’s clear he doesn’t care that I have, in fact, been running. I tell him I need to use the restroom and that I'll be right back. He gestures vaguely so I find my own way, but not to the bathroom. How easy to trick with a promise of reward. I line up my men. 
Their family photos are on the walls telling stories of vacations and holidays. Just the three of them, the prettiest lie of them all. I stare as if I could learn some secret as to how a mother could do what she did and move on. I see theirs play out like a book and I’m filled with an anger that blinds me. They’re ready for orders.
I think of my knife so I stock back to the man on the couch only to be met with snores. Sometimes it just works out. I pity him, in his suit and tie, his loafers haphazardly in the entryway. I fantasize my life in this home. I walk their rooms and lay in their beds, I drink their juice and eat their snacks. My fingers trace the walls for fault lines and I wonder if there had been a boy here how different it would look. She wouldn’t have needed the child’s seat, he was already grown. The crayons of the walls in his room would look different here. The dolls and gowns, replaced with his stones and telescope. I am angry. A life he never knew and will never see. He would have liked a sister. Fill it with rocks.
I pull his picture from the pocket of my running pants and look for a marker.  “1993-2016” I write. “You killed him.” I am not the only one to blame. ‘He found you!’ I wanted to scream at her, ‘You left and he still found you,” but that wasn’t entirely true. I had found her. I brought her name into his home and changed things, so now I will bring his name into this home and change these things. “Elijah Perry” I write near the bottom, “Taken three months before his death.” I clip the photo to the fridge and walk out. Release.
When does the sheep become the wolf? Or was I a wolf in sheep's clothing this whole time? I am growing claws and my teeth cut my mouth as I speak. It fills with salt and blood. Maybe I’ll become like cured meat with all this salt and my decay will be slow. Agonzing. My fur will matt and my family will become afraid. I will age slowly and watch them leave, seeing their funerals from the woods edge. And when the wolf finally leaves to possess someone else, the only one who will see me to my grave will be a ghost. 
I don’t run again. I walk the veins of the city and let them guide me through it’s ebb and flow. It feels like I’ve thrown the daughter of a cliff into a stampede of wildebeests and I wonder what she’ll think when she’s older.  When do I get that scar over my eye? I think I deserve the mark. If Cain did then so do I. 
“Hey sweetie,” a voice calls from the shadow of a rundown bar. Unfortunate luck for him if he tries anything further. I flip him off and keep walking. I recognize my surroundings. There’s a pizza place up the corner.  A long night of treachery will leave you hungry. 
The warmth of the pizza fills the coldness in my body. I didn’t realize I started shaking until I reached for my water. I quickly fist my hand and push my pizza away, my breaths becoming fast and impatient. Resting my head on the table I let the solid coolness rush my mind and steady my thoughts. I focus on my breathing and count backwards from one hundred. 
100, 99, 98, 97, 96, I can see his face. 95, 94, 93, 92, I watch him at a New Year's Eve countdown grinning and blowing his whistle. 91, 90, I squeeze my eyes tighter. Press my head harder to the table 89, 88, 87, I might be sick. 86, 85, 84, 83, 82, 81, 80,79,78,77,7767574737271 
I see him on the cliff.
I’m telling him to stop.
He doesn’t.
I throw my head back and open my eyes. 48, 47, 46, 45, 44, the warped window reflects a distorted version of myself with no discernable features, just a shadow ready to disappear at the first sign of light. A fly crawling on the window stops on my face and I’m wondering if it’s an omen. 
The door opens with a jingle from the bells and a figure stands behind me. I don’t care to look at the reflection. “Fuck off,” I let out through a cry. I am very intimidating. 
They don’t say anything and walk away. I drop my head, tears sliding off my face. A moment later they return and hand me some napkins. I glance at them and then at my greasy, sauce stained pile of my own. Reluctantly I take them, “Thanks. Now please leave.” 
I wipe my face as they shuffle in place and hesitantly clear their throat. I’m instantly annoyed. I spin around to face them, “What?” I say in more of a defeated, angry tone. 
Well kids, I guess we get to answer that question here and now. I let my head fall to my arm that rests on the seat’s back. “Of course,” I mumble. “Why not?” Turning around I pull the pizza back to me and take a bite. He still doesn’t move. 
“Well if you’re going to,” I motion to the seat next to me. He takes it and looks even more uncomfortable which makes me laugh slightly. “You’re being really weird, you know,” I say through a bite of pizza. “If I didn’t know you you would have a bloody nose already.”
He sits up straighter, “Sorry,” he picks at the paint on his nails. “I, uh, just saw you and recognized you from running and the gas station. Just wanted ask if you’re okay,”
“Why?” I ask harshly then, closing my eyes, wince at my stupidity. 
He looks confused, “You don’t remember?” “I remember the gas station just fine,”
“No, uh, we’ve been waving at each other... while we run,” it sounded more like a question than a fact. His eyes dart around. “For, like, a few months before the gas station and then I stopped seeing you,” he trails off. 
I started running after Elijah went missing. I wasn’t a runner before then so what sparked this new interest, I couldn’t tell you. I ran night and day after realizing it was the one thing that stopped my thinking and focused my breathing. There is a lot I don’t remember from the past year, this being one of them.
“You don’t remember?” he asks. I don’t say anything. He nods understanding, “I just thought you recognized me but didn’t want to…. Interrupt… or something,”
“I have no problem interrupting,”  I reply. He slightly laughs, “but what’s wrong you can’t fix, so,” I take another bite of pizza. “And I wave at all the runners I pass. Good to have people remember you if you go missing,” I give a slight wave of my hand and shrug. 
He nods. “Well I hope I see you running again,” he gets up, unsure of his movements, I guess not wanting to push any further.
“June,” I say, as he rights the chair, “That’s my name. Fair since I know yours.”
“Nice to meet you, June.” 
My smile lasts until he’s past the shop's window and I'm back to staring at my face. I think of Mulan crossing her bridge and wiping half her makeup off in her reflection. I think of Harry and what in the actual Wattpad hell just happened. I close my eyes and rest my chin in my hand while I finish the second pizza. Harry’s face turns into Elijah’s and the waves start crashing. My body tells me to run. 
(1)/ 2 / (3) / (4) / (5) / (6)
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in-tua-deep · 5 years
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I saw your other ask and I do wonder if an actual 13 yr old Five will pop up after they stop the apocalypse. It’s so interesting to have both Fives in the same place! And to see the stark contrast between what he was without the apocalypse. How does his older self feel (and does he still look 13 too?!). And how do his siblings react realizing how much the apocalypse and the Commission took from their brother! I love this idea and your blog!!
okay a solid half of me is like “wow there’s so much potential for angst and having Five confront the fact that he lowkey hates himself and what he’s become alone with feeling redundant alongside a younger version of himself that does match up to what his siblings remember instead of being the broken old assassin he actually is”
and the other half is like “but also consider the CHAOTIC GOOD TIMES” and at heart I’m a not so secret softie so that is the louder side at the moment
SO they stop the apocalypse. They’re all trying to figure out what happens now. Five is home alone (Allison flew home for a week to see Claire/figure out her situation, Vanya is at her apartment packing some things up to move back into the mansion for a while, Diego took Grace out shopping, Luther and Klaus went to grab groceries and are probably going to come back with so much sugar because Luther is still being a pushover trying to make up for his whole ‘locked Vanya away’ debacle) 
Five is sitting on the front steps of the house (it’s too empty and too quiet inside and he may or may not be coming down from a panic attack) and that’s when there’s a blue flash down the street and Five freezes. Because down the street there’s a boy turning with a puzzled look and they both catch one another’s eye and it’s like looking in a mirror because they’re the same person
So of course they go inside to figure out what the fuck and Five has no patience left for baby Five and pretty much gives it to him straight: he time traveled to April 3rd, 2019, where there was supposed to be an apocalypse. They may or may not fight when baby Five doesn’t believe him and he is convinced when Five beats him easy - thank you assassin training. There’s an hour more of incredulity and explanations as they both loudly theorize about the potential world breaking-ness of them both existing in a paradox
but hey it doesn’t seem like the world is ending and they already touched each other during the fight and nothing weird happened so,, they just both exist?
They’re sitting there quietly contemplating what next and waiting for the others to come back when baby Five, with his wonderful childish sense of mischief, looks at Five and asks a simple question: “Hey, how long do you think it would take for the others to realize there’s two of us?”
(they already had the breakdown where baby Five tried to go back in time and failed and Five smacked him because he worked really damn hard for this version of reality to exist thank you and basically informs baby Five that if he goes back the world could literally end and that’s kind of that. baby five is stuck.)
and look,,, Five is a grumpy old man assassin but he never did lose his sense of mischief - though it’s been somewhat buried over the years and especially so the last week or so. So he may or may not perk up at the suggestion with intrigue, and baby Five knows himself and knows that means he’s in so - 
(Baby Five kind of feels guilty for being a little relieved he doesn’t have to go back in time actually. He wants his siblings desperately, but Reginald is dead here. No more training. No more private lessons. Freedom. And - and technically his siblings are right here, right? They’re free as well? If he jumped back in time wouldn’t that be putting them all back under Reginald’s thumb? He isn’t sure if he could do that to them... but is that just a justification to himself?)
and cue the absolute shenanigans that exist as Five and baby Five pretend that there is only one (1) of them in this timeline. 
also cue some very confused siblings because there are some serious differences between the two Five’s.
Vanya is confused when she offers ‘Five’ some coffee and he wrinkles his nose and declines like he thinks coffee is gross. Which can’t be right, right? She literally saw Five chugging coffee straight from the pot yesterday?
Luther wonders if there’s something off with Five when he doesn’t seem to remember the conversation they had earlier about going to the local history museum with the rest of the family. He seemed excited earlier but now just looks put out?
(”We can’t both go to the history museum!” Five hisses at baby Five, who is rolling his eyes.
“Dude, you’re practically a dinosaur why would you even want to go to a history museum?” Baby Five points out, “Didn’t you see enough history with your little assassin job?”
Five scowls, “Maybe I just think it’s interesting considering my ‘little assassin job’ you sanctimonious child. Maybe I like museums.”
“You’re so transparent! You just want to spend time with our family.” Baby Five teases, fully aware that he’s probably going to have to dodge a knife in a second but continuing to push buttons anyway. It’s what he does. “Or - if it’s really just about all the wonderful history then we can always go again without the rest of the family.”
Five scowls as baby Five bats his eyelashes but doesn’t say anything, which means baby Five totally won the conversation, ha!)
the brilliant thing is that thanks to Five’s powers, no one thinks anything of it when they see Five downstairs and then head upstairs and see him doing something up there so even though a lot of the siblings get suspicious they probably attribute anything really off to Five’s glaring PTSD and trauma
the first one to catch on is Klaus. Well. Not really. Actually Ben is the first one to realize that he’s seeing double and tells Klaus
(”Well well well.” Klaus interrupts, making both boys on the bed jump where they had their heads bent over some mathematical textbook. Klaus is going full drama, draping himself in the open doorway like he’s a bad movie villain. “It looks like someone has been keeping secrets from your darling family.”
“Don’t tell the others!” One of them blurts, while at the same time the other growls out, “Tell the others and I kill you.”
Klaus claps his hands together, absolutely delighted. “So you aren’t the same person! Well, go on, introduce me. Is this your slightly less evil twin?”
They both exchange glances. There’s an short nonverbal conversation consisting of vague gestures and shrugs before one Five rolls his eyes and turns away, clearly done with this whole situation. The remaining Five smiles brightly and waves, “Hey Klaus! Long time no see, almost seventeen years now right?”
There’s a second of processing before Klaus gets it - or maybe Ben gets it and relays the information it’s unclear - and his hands fly to his face as he gasps loudly. “You’re a baby! A child! Under our rooftop!”
“I’m thirteen.” Baby Five protests while Five snickers under his breath. Age is a point of contention between the duo.
“What which one of you did I offer alcohol to the other day?” Klaus demands.
Baby Five raises his hand.
“I knew there was something off about you saying no to booze!” Klaus declared, pointing dramatically. Then he blinked. “Wait I offered alcohol to a minor!”
“You’re such a hypocrite.” Baby Five rolls his eyes again, “Like a week before I came here I had to half carry you to your room you were so wasted and you were thirteen.”
“He has a point.” Klaus muses to the air, probably commenting to Ben. “But I’m still not seeing a way that you two aren’t gonna get your butts totally whupped by the others when they find out about this little charade.” He says charade with a fancy french accent that hopelessly mangles the word.
The two share a look again, and again it’s baby Five who takes the lead. It may or may not be that he’s the better of the two with people considering he didn’t spend forty some years in isolation. 
He grins at Klaus with bright eyes, “Aw, c’mon Klaus. It’s just a game! Besides, isn’t it more fun to be in on it?”
“Hmm.” Klaus hums, making a show of thinking it over. All three of them know exactly what the outcome is going to be, though.
“Please Klaus!” Baby Five demands, still grinning, and he suddenly looks so young and unburdened that there isn’t even a question about whether Klaus is going to be in on it or not.)
It’s not that the two don’t fight. They do. Because Five doesn’t understand how he could ever be so naive and reckless and impulsive (even though he really should expect it considering he jumped through time in the first place) and Five doesn’t understand how he got so grouchy and old and weird about so many things
but they usually solve it by shoving it down and getting along through bribery basically
(”...want to learn how to use a sniper rifle?” Five offers into the tense silence.
There’s a solid pause where baby Five is clearly mulling that over before he finally turns in the chair to face his twin. “...Griddy’s on the way home?”
“Deal.”)
It takes an alarmingly long time for the ruse to fall apart, and it 100% happens because both Five’s show up at the same time due to a miscommunication where they immediately devolve into a yelling match about how it was totally their turn downstairs and the other is an idiot and they’re literally spatial jumping after one another around the room before Diego throws two knives and manages to pin both of the arms of their uniforms to the wall and make both stop
“What the fuck is this?” Diego demands, gesturing between the two Five’s wildly. 
“It’s his fault!” Both Five’s point at the other
but the ruse is up and the duo are able to hop down whenever they like and torment the family. 
This au is full of healing and baby Five teaching old Five how to be a kid again and more of less rubbing off on Five and dragging him into games and appealing to his sense of mischief and drama and also making the rest of the family go to like,, the zoo or laser tag or a water park
baby Five is still holding out for disney world, personally
and they are a ferocious team up,, like literal terror twins they are fully capable of terrifying the pants off of the rest of the family and then turning around and laughing and looking innocent enough that it was difficult to say no because they’re kids and are fully capable of bringing out the rest of the family’s protective instincts
even if they know intellectually that one of that duo is an assassin who could kill them in the same breath it took to tell them what idiots they were being because he could protect himself
I dunno I just want actual kid!Five dragging grumpy old man!Five into shenanigans that Five complains about but secretly likes going along with them because lets be real who doesn’t like doing impulsive childish shit from time to time and he has an excuse because he has to stop baby Five from getting himself killed, right?
after all, as Five will defend himself, he isn’t sure if his younger self’s untimely death will also kill him, right? As a future version? Kind of like the whole “you can’t kill your grandmother” argument or whatever, right? Time is weird shush
(even though they’re both pretty sure that old Five is actually from an alternate dimension vs. time travel and that this is actually baby Five’s universe, but their worlds didn’t diverge until old Five popped in eight days before the apocalypse so technically baby Five’s death probably wouldn’t have any effect on old man Five but
hey, better safe than sorry, right?)
Baby Five feels kind of indebted to old Five for,, you know,,, saving his siblings by preventing the apocalypse and preventing him from a fate worse than death with not having to deal with isolation and the apocalypse?? so he’s more patient than old Five probably deserves
and old Five feels kind of responsible for baby Five because they both know baby Five can’t go back in time and unravel everything with how delicate it is and so baby Five still lost the equivalent of his entire family since he doesn’t exactly know these older version anymore and
hey, who knows the other better than themselves, right? Baby Five understands old Five’s motivations and shares history, knows exactly how far he would go for his family when pushed
so yes now they’re essentially twins and 100% pretend to be one another constantly and get on the others nerves and help each other heal and that’s the tea on that
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MARCH PICKS!!!
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Life has gotten VERY crazy over the past couple of weeks (it feels more like months-time is irrelevant now). To escape watching the news again and again I have turned to TV and movies now more than ever. While some of these I watched at the start of the month, when life felt more normal, more have been added since “social distancing” and quarantine. But these are my top choices for the month overall. Some will seem familiar from my top Quarantine picks (check out that article if you’d like here) and that’s because many have been my recent watches. 
Spoilers ahead!
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LOCKE AND KEY
I cannot stop talking about this show. It is no way similar to this, but I feel like I have not loved a Netflix show like this since Derry Girls last year. This is the show I keep asking people if they have watched it and telling them to if they haven’t. So you should watch this show :)
Locke and Key follows the Locke family as they travel to their father’s ancestral estate after his tragic death. It is their mother’s idea and the three Locke siblings don’t want to leave their home in Seattle and find it tough accumulating to their new home and school. The youngest son, Body, is the first to hear these magical keys that lead to the larger mystery of this story. When I finished watching I had to quickly jot down my notes on the show. I am so happy that I looked at Netflix’s Top 10 list to decide what to watch next. I got hooked easily and while certain characters had annoying moments, in the end I really liked them and cannot wait to see how the story progresses in season 2. SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS...... I knew Ellie was going to be “Dodge” in the last episode when she got thrown through the door. It was just too easy. There was still like 20 minutes of the show left and then when she yelled out Tyler. It just felt right, but I was not expecting Gabe to be the 3rd personality! This echo really knows how to manipulate people. And now Eden too! 
The idea of having magical keys and the different powers for each was really creative and something I would have never thought about. Lots of people have compared it to Stranger Things, Narnia and Stephen King novels, and while those are somewhat accurate there is so much more to it. Must check it out for yourself!  
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ONWARD
Before movie theaters closed (here in New York) I was lucky to see Onward in theaters. Even though I’ve already seen it, I am still very excited that it will be released to Disney Plus in a couple of weeks (days?) and is already available to buy digitally. 
Disney/Pixar had me guessing what this would be about for a while (like they usually do with their teaser trailers). But the more this was advertised, the more I got intrigued. It was a very cute film about the importance of family. Not just father and son, but also the bond of brothers. It took a slight turn I didn’t think we’d be taking, but am happy to see represented on the screen. I love all the moments the Dad did walking around (only a bottom half). It was pretty funny, especially when he had his top half on. I liked how they used a leash to keep track of him and how they communicated with him by tapping his feet. I think my favorite was the dancing though.  Super realistic with the whole driving thing and getting on the freeway. (When Barley says something about never being ready it felt very accurate.) I wish their dad could hear them though. I understand why he couldn’t, but still it would have been nice considering the ending. Loved the MOM POWER! She was fantastic. I loved her duo with the Manticore. I also liked how realistic it felt, well despite not having mystical creatures in our world. I liked how they focused on beings taking the easy way out and losing a piece of yourself and your history. I wish I could experience a quest like that.  
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THE LODGE SEASON 2
The Lodge is a Disney Channel UK show that I was lucky to watch the first season of back in 2016 or 2017 (it’s so long ago I can’t remember). I kept trying to find the second season after it didn’t air on our Disney Channel, but had no luck. That is until Disney Plus. It wasn’t one of the first shows to air on the streaming service, but since coming out in November, the 2 season Coming of Age Musical Tween show is FINALLY available. I was thrilled! (If you can’t already tell.)
Naturally I started by re-watching the 10 episode first season. Each episode is about 25 minutes long, so it was a fast watch. I forgot how well I knew the story-lines and overall plot. For those unfamiliar with the show, the first season follows Skye Hart who is traveling back to the countryside with her dad, Ed to work (and own) the family’s hotel called the Lodge. Her grandad has been managing it for years and needs some help. Also after the recent passing of Skye’s mum it is nice for them to head back to somewhere that was so special to her. (This seems to be a common thread this month. Compared to Locke and Key this is a lot brighter.) Of course, the Lodge is experiencing some money problems so they have to solve that issue and fast because one guy in particular wants to buy it and create a luxurious spa resort (classic bad guy stuff). Skye winds up being the star of a reality TV show called My Amazing Life, which brings the publicity, but more drama than she intended. The show is filled with the classic teen drama: from love triangles to secrets and there’s also a mystery plot involving her mom and a mysterious man with the initials SJ. A bonus is the musical component. In true musical form the songs are often performed in the moment when a character is feeling sad or happy, but there are also concert performances on the show as well. Some of the songs are quite good and ones that I can’t get out of my head. 
SPOILERS FOR SEASON 2
So, I definitely enjoyed the first season more than the second. Part of that was due to the plot. Obviously the Lodge was still not 100% solid, but I wanted to move past the money problems of the first season and explore some other stuff. (I don’t know what, but something else.) I also felt it was slower moving. While the episodes are about 25 minutes there isn’t much time to work with, but it often felt like we were still looking on a clue or hurtle for longer amounts of time then needed. I didn’t love the songs as much. Now as I am listening to some of them back I am liking more, but overall I thought season 1′s soundtrack was better. A lot of these songs sounded a like. I liked whenever Kaylee sang, but honestly thought she was singing the same song in a different version (now I know there’s about 3 different songs). Too much techno was used and lots of choreographed dancing that was at times strange. My biggest complaint was that Skye chose Sean over Ben, which was her biggest mistake. Throughout the season you could still see their chemistry in the looks they gave or moments that were said. (Her dad was the BIGGEST Team Ben fan.) But she only discovered it at the end when he was already with Danielle (wasn’t a fan of that ship either because of the way they rushed it). Even though there’s no season 3 (and it’s been years so it’s not coming) I will believe Skye and Ben are endgame. Because just look at them... 
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Adorable. 
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EMMA
Another one that the more I saw it advertised and read reviews, the more I wanted to watch it. I saw this in theaters after Onward, but just before major social distancing started. There were 5 of us total in the theater, which made it feel like out own personal home theater. Loved this movie a lot more than I thought I would. It paid homage to the novel really well as well as previous adaptations that came before it, yet still was recognizable as its own re-telling. For a full review check out my article: REVIEW EMMA (2020).
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NANCY DREW
In the past few weeks (few episodes, actually) I have done a complete 360 with my opinion on the CW’s Nancy Drew. In this first season I was immediately intrigued to enter the mystery and explore a CW show without superheroes (which I honestly do love, but I like how the CW is expanding their shows again). In the fall I kept tuning in for new episodes, but as the season went on they would pile up on the DVR more. My main problem was the supernatural element. I didn’t understand why they had to have ghosts be real in this world. I wanted a classic mystery (I guess in the same vein as Scooby Doo, where the murderers were real people rather than a mystical entity). I started to get used to this element, but I didn’t love it. (This was the time when we had a lot of heavy supernatural material and possessions, etc.) My DVR didn’t tape episode 12, so I watched it through a YouTube review before watching the next one (you can see how much I cared then--now I would have opened the app and watched the episode for sure). The next episode was the Whisper Box, which was great, but it wasn’t until episode 14 that I truly fell in love with this show (and started to watch the episodes the day of). Part of it is definitely that I got used to the style of the show and also that parts of the mystery are starting to wrap up, but what I’m noticing is my main reason is Ace. His character continues to get more screen time and we continue to learn more about his life with every episode. I loved meeting his dad and seeing their relationship. His detective skills combined with Nancy are my favorite part about this show and I ship them so much now. He brings a humor to this show like saying he has enemies at the library. Nancy and Ace’s looks to each other as they read Lucy and Ryan’s emails while at the library. OMG the chemistry! If the writers don’t act on this relationship in later seasons, I don’t know what they are doing with themselves. It’s right there and yet Nancy has two other love interests right now. There’s been so many other things in the last few episodes and I am dying for this show to come back this upcoming week.  
I need more of these moments!!
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PARTY OF FIVE
At the start of this month I had done a much better job watching this show and since then I haven’t been as good. I think I still have 5 or 6 episodes left, but I know it ended almost a month ago by now, so I will be able to catch up! I was familiar with the original Party of Five from the 90s and had wanted to watch that show for a while now, but due to the amount of seasons I hadn’t gotten around to it. So, once I heard this one was airing I was really excited to give it a chance. I like that it’s by the same creators as the first season and I can’t explain it, but I was really happy to see the iconic font with the title card. This show is so relevant for our current society. It addresses so many of the issues we face with the government today. Instead of having their parents die in a car crash like the original series, here they are deported which brings a whole other side to the story line. I like how we get to see the kids deal with them being away and the hope to live with them again while also seeing their current conversations. There’s so much drama and I am just hoping for some lightness at the end of this season because these characters deserve it! 
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hogwartsfirebolt · 5 years
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This is the very best fic I have ever, ever read. I promise you that I am not kidding: A fic rec. 
Grounds for Divorce - @tepre - 122k - Explicit
Malfoy finds a coin. Harry finds a letter. A story about histories, a story about families. A story about a lemon tree somewhere in Upper Egypt.
In the 18 months I have been an active member of this community, I must have read no less than a thousand wonderful stories, many of which have touched me in ways I could never fully articulate. Whenever someone asked, I would recommend four, five fics, never able to pick just one as my favorite, I thought that, with so many stories out there, loving one above all others would surely be impossible. I was incredibly, deeply, beautifully wrong. 
Thoughts under read more
I struggle to think of a place to begin this rec, because there is no way any of my words can ever truly do this masterpiece justice. I suppose I could begin by telling you that this story is so damn brilliant in every single aspect that I can’t wrap my own head around how much I adore it with every piece of my silly little self, or that it is so careful in its execution that I didn’t even realize when exactly it was that I irremediably fell in love, or that I had never read a piece of fanwork that held such a deep understanding of itself, that there was little I could do but let myself be pulled right into the heart of it, of this. 
I was lucky enough to get to know it when it was still about 50k words long, and even then, when I sat down and read all of that, I knew that this was something incredibly special, and every single word that was added since then only made me feel even more sure that I was witnessing the birth of what is surely going to become a fandom classic. At least for me, it shifted my entire perception of the pairing, the fandom, the entire wizarding world. There is a before and after Grounds for Divorce for me.
Now, the concept in itself is simple. This is a bonding fic. You know the kind. Harry and Draco are nothing to each other after the war, and somehow find themselves literally on the brink of death unless they touch each other. That’s what it is. A bonding fic. But, oh dear, if you go into it expecting just THAT, it will literally knock you out. I’m not kidding. Just, poof, passed out on the floor, because despite using a pretty popular fandom trope as a base, that’s about the only thing that isn’t 100% unique to this story. 
This is the moment when I tell you that there are about seven years between chapter 1 and chapter 10. Yes, we get to see Harry and Draco from age 18 to 25 or so. That is the first thing that is notably different from any other bonding fic I have ever read, that they’re stuck together for literal years, and so they can’t stop living their lives while they are bonded, no, the show must go on. The second thing that makes this special are the mechanics of the bond itself, and how it’s a simple spell that makes them sick when they go a long time without touching each other, and when they do touch each other, it pushes for more more more in such desperate, delicious fashion that I clung to my seat when they were first learning how to deal with this desire. 
The third thing, the MAIN thing, the most BEAUTIFUL THING that makes this fic special is, of course, the characterization. Oh my GOD. How do I even put this to WORDS. There is just no way I can explain how fucking perfect everybody is in this. 
Harry is damaged from the war and doesn’t realize it, Harry has trouble connecting with people and doesn’t realize it, Harry is carrying a hell of a burden on his shoulders and doesn’t realize it. It’s beautiful how much I, as a reader, was able to pick on all these things when Harry himself has no idea that he’s dealing with them. He is angry, he hates being bonded to Draco at first, hates that he has to spend his days with him, and doesn’t even stop to consider that maybe things are different with Draco now, he closes himself up and chooses not to engage, and this, to me, felt like such an accurate depiction of who he is. After everything he went through, this is YET ANOTHER THING he has no control over. 
Draco is just lovely. It’s impossible not to love him. He is intense and he’s rambly and seriously annoying, but he’s also damaged, he’s careful with himself after everything that happened, and he genuinely does try to be better, and that is something that always makes me so weak in the knees for him, when he is truly just good and doing his best not to fuck up. 
Their interaction is difficult to describe, because it changes every moment the more they get to know each other. We begin with a lot of anger on Harry’s side, confusion and hurt on Draco’s side, and as they learn how to navigate the fact that they’re now bonded, the situation shifts. Draco tries to connect with Harry, Harry just wants to live his own life. Years and years and years pass, and they go through so much together, they learn to become friends by accident, they learn to care about each other, they shape their lives around each other without even realizing it. They’re married, for all intents and purposes, and dealing with it in very different ways. 
The massive amount of growth we see them go through in this is just indescribable. We start with them as boys, hold their hands as they become men. 
They hurt each other a lot. Harry hurts Draco for like five or six years straight, being dismissive and impenetrable. Draco hurts Harry later on. They grow together, they date other people, they watch each other date other people, always with this bond between them making things difficult, and it’s really, really messy. 
The love story, as we witness it, unfolds almost by accident, entirely underneath the surface, such a masterfully crafted slow burn, that by the time the characters themselves realize what’s happening, they’re elbows deep into it and it’s impossible to turn back. It’s beautiful, the intensity of the feelings simmering for years, the depth to their interactions, how meaningful the little things become, in time, how much Harry’s perception of Draco changes, how much this makes Harry change. 
The Harry we end up with is. Jesus. Fucking. Christ. He is. I CANNOT. The intensity with which I THIRSTED over him has no precedents. His single-minded intensity, his focus, his drive, his certainty, how he throws himself headfirst into things once he chooses to and doesn’t look back at all. He is just. Hot as all fuck. That’s it. There’s no other word to describe him. But to get here, to find this beautiful, intense, loving man, we have to go through so many layers of decades-old hurt and his struggles with being human that he’s not even aware of, and, really, this story is about forgiving Harry in so many levels, about finding that even though he saved the world, he’s just human and he has a fuckton of issues, and this deconstruction of the hero persona we find in him, in how he willingly sacrificed himself in the war but now has absolutely no clue how to be open and trust people is just. Delicious. And don’t even get me started on the physicality of him, and how in some parts he’s just sex on legs. 
The Draco we end up with is a man so honest and open in his love, a man who overthinks and rambles and is impossibly lovely, a man who goes through so much hurt and still always shows up for the people he loves. He is clever and beautiful and just absolutely wonderful, so loyal and caring that it aches. 
Watching these final versions of them love each other made me cry so, so many times. 
All of these words have just been an attempt to explain what they are, individually and together, but they are NOTHING. I can never truly explain what happens in those 122k words. It’s something you need to experience for yourself, and there’s so much MORE than this. 
There’s Ron, who is the loveliest human of all time, and there’s Hermione, who is still so loyal and fierce and wonderful, and there’s Draco’s friends and baby Rosie, eventually, and every single character was obviously created with so much care that they feel solid, real, even the original ones. 
The settings are vibrant, I felt like I was standing in the Malfoy townhouse all those evenings Harry and Draco sat together, I saw Harry’s garden come to life right in front of my eyes, I saw Egypt in stark clarity, once they went there, and actually, that entire section just feels like such an intense sensory immersion in every way, physical and emotional. When they finally have sex, I almost fucking burst out of my skin with the intensity, the depth of each touch, the pace of each scene. 
The writing is just beautiful, the kind of structure that reads smoothly and leaves you breathless and makes you feel everything that ever happens in the story, there’s quotes that sometimes literally made me have to stop reading to catch my breath, to regroup before being able to continue, because they were SO beautiful, SO spot on. Every single detail is styled to absolute perfection, not a single hair out of place. 
There is nothing like this story. Nothing. I have never felt so connected, I have never loved the characters so deeply, I have never reread anything as many times as I have reread this, I must have read it like 12 times at this point. 
It’s not just a fic, it’s an experience. I don’t know what else to say to convince you to allow yourself to go through it, because it is worth every single second. I could beg on my knees right now. It is my number one fic, the best I have ever encountered, and I think it might remain that way, always. 
Do yourself a favor and CLICK HERE. Give Tepre your love (all of it, SHE DESERVES ALL OF IT for creating this), allow yourself to feel everything this story has to offer, and once you’ve done that, come to me. I will never tire of this. (heh, reference). ❤️
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gerec · 5 years
Note
In the spirit of the RP Fest, do you have any Xavierine headcannons? (:
I’m sorry Anon - this past week has been crazy and I haven’t had a chance to  reply to your ask in a timely manner!!!
I DO have a few Xavierine headcanons that make it into most of my (canon) fic!
Meeting young!Charles when he goes back in time really throws him for a loop, because the Prof is almost unrecognizable as the man Logan knows and loves (and respects, and admires, and considers family). In fact, it’s only his sense of smell that reassures Logan he’s dealing with the right person - well that and the memories that Charles shared with him in the future that manage to convince young!Charles to help.
Logan saw disheveled, drunk/stoned 70s Charles and his first thought was 100% ‘I would totally hit that’. His second thought was ‘dammit he’s the Professor I can’t hit that’. Then ‘Ok I want to hit that, but won’t because I’m trying to save the future here’.*
That changes after the debacle in Paris because as much as Logan is still ‘we’ll get through this Charles don’t give up hope’ he’s probably pretty sure things are completely borked and he’s failed his mission. So, when (after the mind meld) Charles reaches out to him for comfort, Logan says ‘fuck it the world is ending anyway’ and they bone. Hard.
Logan’s admiration and respect morphs into something even deeper (though unnamed) by the time they’re on the plane to D.C. and he gives Charles the ‘find us, lead us, we need you’ speech.
His last thoughts (in the Potomac, before losing consciousness) is of both versions of Charles - how he let future!Charles down, and how much he hopes 70s Charles survives D.C. and SOMEHOW, SOMEWAY finds a way to change things for all of them. Because if anyone can it’s Charles Xavier. (He ‘dies’ without ever losing faith in Charles).
Other random stuff:
- Charles doesn’t like being carried because it makes him feel out of control. It’s only Hank and Logan (in the OT and new timeline, up until post Dark Phoenix) who manage to get past his reticence, and he allows their help without too much muss and fuss.
- Post DoFP, 70s Logan gets rescued by Mystique and heads to the School for answers, and stays there with Charles. They’re very happy, and their relationship is rock solid without any of the drama and angst that Charles experienced with Erik. Also XMA doesn’t happen at all. Neither does ‘Logan’ lol.
*No one will convince me that Logan isn’t attracted to Charles (any age/version); he’s just used to putting OT Prof X in a ‘mentor’ role and not in any other capacity. But once he meets baby!Charles it completely turns things on its head for him and they’re different enough that it helps Logan see him outside the mental box. ALSO, Logan can’t help but want to protect/take care of people who are vulnerable so…
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aedanstarfang · 4 years
Text
Welcome to Morgyn’s Drag Race
I've been away from my blog for quite a while, working on a (stupid) project that has occupied my time. And like all defiantly proud persons, I needed to see through this project to the end...and I also had fun (kinda) working on it. So without further ado, here is the Blogspot premiere of Morgyn's Drag Race: Season One!
Having made its official premiere on August 30, 2020; Morgyn's Drag Race was originally just a fun side-project that blew up into a full size in going 'The Sims' mini series. Meet the Cast
Morgyn Ember
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Hailing from the Magic Realm, hidden deep within Glimmerbrook; Morgyn is a non-binary sim though that does not make him ineligible from being one of the sickest drag queens in Sim Nation (look up the real world history of Drag; trans and NB persons were the pioneers of drag culture).
Morgyn introduces himself as the 'head judge' of the inaugural season of Drag Race, alongside his co-judges; Siobhan Fyres and Izzy Fabulous, truly a stylish and LGBTQIA+ inclusive judging panel.
Morgyn's critiques of the queens come from the heart and he laces every critique with a compliment, embracing and appreciating said queen's individuality while criticizing their work. Morgyn can be best described as an fair, constructive and sensitive judge, and unlike real world judge/critics such as Rupaul or Simon Cowell; Morgyn actually critiques the queen's runway rather than barking out trendy one-liners or simply discrediting a queen's work because 'he doesn't like it'.
Siobhan & Izzy make up the rest of the judging panel acting as the defacto Michelle Visage and Santino Rice respectively; though it's a little deeper than that. Siobhan Fyres is more like co-judge 'Stacey McKenzie' of Canada's Drag Race or former Drag Race judge 'Merle Ginsberg', often giving constructive criticism while not shying away from criticizing a queen's sloppiness or lack of runway presence.
Izzy could be compared to ex-Drag Race judge 'Santino Rice', though that comparison falls a little flat when you see that Izzy's personality is less sharp-tongued and 'mean girl'-esque and more blunt and impartial on similar lines as 'Simon Cowell' or 'Piers Morgan'. Izzy openly displays boredom or disinterest within the first few seconds of seeing a queen's runway, and is often chided by Morgyn for being too hasty.
The Pilot or first episode showed us Eliza Pancakes acting as Morgyn's second-in-command as a literal expy of drag race judge 'Michelle Visage', being very quick to dismiss a queen for being weird or different, criticizing a queen's look for not being 'trendy' or 'mainstream' enough and even going so far as taking offense with an Asian queen's pun-name.  She was fired by the second episode and instead blackmailed placed into a hosting position of 'What's In the Bag?', which is basically a Sims version of 'Whatcha Packin?' It's a humorous after show type of series that revolves around Eliza interviewing eliminated queens, all the while getting several jabs in at Morgyn, the producers, the company and of course shading the guest queen themselves.
The Contestants
Morgyn's Drag Race was announced on August of this year, which included a special series of 'Meet the Queens' videos focusing on all twelve of the competing queens. This season I am proud to say that it features a diverse range of queens ranging in size, nationality, gender identity and drag/performance style.
The initial twelve 'meet the queens' videos are still available to watch on my youtube channel, however they will soon be made irrelevant as newer, updated MTQ videos shall take their place - featuring a fluid, solid theme for the promo (which never got an official release oops!)
So without further ado, let's do further and get to know these twelve quirky queens shall we (in alphabetical order)? (*Note: That characters who are competing drag queens are referred to as 'her/she' and 'he/him' interchangeably via the rule of 'when a queen is in drag they are she, when they are out of drag they are he, there are of course expections).
Also, MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD - YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
Baga Trash
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Sy Jefferies
AKA "
Baga Trash
" 34, is a well-known drag performer from Windenburg. Now I know what you're probably thinking; "he's an obvious parody of Baga Chipz" well no, not really. While Baga Trash IS a British queen (even if my impression is shite), he was inspired by several different characters and queens including but not limited to 'Tammie Brown' and 'Daphne Moon'. Baga aspires to become the world's top trash queen, and applauds 'trashion' as the style of the future. Interestingly enough, Baga Trash has little to no interest in ANY of the features from Eco Lifestyle, odd since dumpster diving is right up her ally.
Caliente
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Nicholas Contreras
aka
"Caliente",
at 24 is one of the youngest competing queens this season right after Terra Ryzen. Caliente prides herself on her youth, beauty and bubbly personality and actively proclaims her "youthful vigor" to be the secret to success. Now what is "youthful vigor" you might ask? Youthful Vigor is the total tetratic composition of youth, attractiveness or beauty, personality and talent. With that mantra in mind, Caliente remains ever cheerful and confident throughout the competition.      Having originally been brought up on a large farm in Brindleton Bay, Caliente was no stranger to receiving the occasional odd glance from passersby as she gallivanted down main street in her pink designer miniskirts and halter tops, and to be honest she loved the attention more than anyone could know, this of course would boost her confidence into moving out to Newcrest where she would officially compete for the title of 'Morgyn's Magical Queen'.
Crow
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Corbin Corvidae
AKA
"Crow"
30, is an adventurous and experienced queen hailing from Oasis Springs. As many would point out that Crow has glaringly obvious similarities to a certain
real life queen
and I will be 100% honest, yes Crow is an homage to many former Drag Race queens. Crow's personality I think is what sets her apart and standalone from other queens, both real life and fictitious. The most obvious similarities being Crow's seemingly bitter attitude towards the younger queens (particularly Caliente and Terra Ryzen), which plays into the same trope of "
this is a competition
" and "
blame the edit
". When starting Morgyn's Drag Race, we needed an antithesis to who we figured would be the standout protagonists of the season (being either Galaxia, Lapis or Caliente) and Crow fits that bill nicely.
Crow's moniker stems from her fascination with the color black, darkness, midnight and the very bird itself while the demeanor and overall look of her character is derived from her love of the 1990's film of the same name. Crow's experience and expertise with drag make her a force to be reckoned with, while her demure and sultry demeanor set her apart from the competition. Regardless of how you feel about Miss Crow, no one can deny that she serves some serious looks each time she hits the runway
Extra
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Lance Proffitt
(pronounced 'Pro-feet') aka
"Extra"
29, is a professional
"background artist"
from Del Sol Valley, and no we're not talking about the actual profession of the
same name
we're talking about an
extra
, as in an uncredited background character in a film or series. Basically Extra is really talented at not being the lead character in movies or TV.  Extra's personality is kind of a composition of an egotistical and yet eerily self-aware celebrity. Extra doesn't NEED others to remind him that he's a star, because in his world he is already a star. He mentions in his initial "talking head" during Episode One/Pilot that he had background roles in such serials as;
"Touched by an Alien"
,
"Abducted for Real"
and
"The Great Awful Cook-off"
. He also noted in his
"What's In the Bag"
segment with Eliza Pancakes, that he is a musical queen and that his talent for the talent show challenge would have been a live rendition of his hit song;
"Boy is a Bear"
. This is a bit of a spoiler so I rupologize in advance, but even Extra's book title for episode six;
"Suck More"
must be a callback to a certain real world queen, right? Whatever the case, Extra's willing to put int the time so long as you're willing to pay the dime.
Fortuna Cookie
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Shūfáng Shāncháhuā ('Shu' for short) aka "Fortuna Cookie" 25, is a young queen from Strangerville who's motto is undoubtedly "here to make it queer", has certainly came to the right show hasn't she? Shu started drag at a shockingly young age; 3, when she dressed up in her mom's clothes and makeup and impersonated 'Miss Piggy' to entertain her family, though they were more red-faced from secondhand-embarrassment than laughter.
  Cookie is a very artistic and personable queen, having done drag professionally since at least high school and performed at the 8-Bells in Strangerville since her university days at Britechester. She was taken in by her would be drag-mother, 'Mint Cookie' and quickly made friends with newfound family; 'Sugar Cookie', 'Fudge Cookie' and 'Samoa Cookie'. Shu's drag name had always just been 'Fortuna' (for luck) before being adopted by the Haus of Cookie, where she became "Fortuna Cookie".
Galaxia
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Cosmo Nebulon AKA "Galaxia" 28, is quite possibly the most unique queen in this lineup; not only is she the only queen from Sixam, but also the very first 'Alien' contestant in the series history (but surely not to be the last). Galaxia moved to Del Sol Valley shortly before being cast on "Morgyn's Drag Race", because as he puts it the "drag scene on Sixam is boring!" Self-described 'Xenomorph Queen' Galaxia certainly has a lot in common with real life queens such as 'Alaska' and 'Pandora Boxx', though I think Galaxia's uniqueness in both style and personality make him standout from the crowd, that and he's "a fucking alien!" 
For everyone who's seen the initial airing of the pilot will know that Galaxia is here to bring it on a galactic level, having aced the "Trash to Treasure" challenge seemingly flawlessly (though editing does play a part in EVERY reality series) and unanimously impressed the judging panel, even stone-cold bitch Eliza Pancakes. Spoilers ahead for recently dropped Episode 5; Snatch Game saw Galaxia in the bottom for the first time, but little did her competition know that she was no slouch because she TURNED. IT. OUT! Not one, not two, but three reveals during the lipsync - I COULD NOT, BELIEVE IT (and I'm the one who created everything)"! Clearly Galaxia is not playing around and takes the competition VERY seriously, going so far as to plan ahead for a possible lipsync for your life with three reveals to boot, it's curious what else she had planned up her sleeve for the previous runways and if she had similar reveals planned.
Icy
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Myron Frost AKA "Icy" 27, of Willow Creek came to the competition pulling no punches and dressing to impress from the get-go. Icy began drag during her teen years, and started performing professionally during college. Aside from being the series' first black queen to walk through those doors, Icy also brought her own sense of style and class to the initial competition. Professionalism, style, and class are all words synonymous with Icy; a queen who carries herself as though she has already won (because let's be honest, you NEED a fiery attitude in order to get ahead in these sorts of contests). Though behind the confident and stunning exterior, belies a person who detests drama of any sort, and can be seen at any time an argument erupts - Icy is sure to stay out of the line of sight.
When I think of Icy, I think of former Drag Race queens who carried a similar air of confidence, professionalism and style such as Chad Michaels and Jaida Essence Hall, though honestly Icy is as much her own identity as anyone else, and the aforementioned queens merely served as inspiration, vocal fry and all.
Jackqleen Qkwueeen
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Jackson King AKA "Jackqleen Qkwueeen" 37, is Magnolia Promenade's premiere expert in classical theater and the bardic arts. And I'm not going to start this article off with a lie, when I conceptualized Jackqleen I had originally envisioned a different kind of queen entirely which can be seen in her original 'Meet the Queens' video, which if I'm being honest, pretty much all of the queens had different personalities and quirks that differ from their current/later personas. Jackqleen was originally supposed to be a faux Shakespearean expert who would occasionally slip into talking with her rural dialect or twang, which I disliked for a multitude of reasons and decided that making Jackqleen a legitimate, classically trained thespian of Magnolia Promenade, was more interesting. And to make her standout vocally and personality-wise, I just kept picturing Frasier Crane. 
Despite having fallen into the bottom two the first episode, and let's be honest that "Trash to Treasure" challenge was not tailored to make everyone look good, which in Jackqleen's case made her look worse than Velvetta Baggins, whom was described as someone having walked out of a day spa. We can't deny that Jackqleen has a refined and sophisticated outlook to drag, and that being a professional theater actor can only help propel her career as a drag artist
Lapis
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Bleau Rathbone AKA "Lapis" 31, is one of San Myshuno's most eclectic, eccentric and unique artists. Having performed drag since his nineteenth birthday; Bleau introduced himself in drag to the world of performance art for the first time and then and there 'Lapis' was born (*Note: Lapis prefers to be referred to as 'they/them', but only when in full drag). Lapis' namesake stems from the gemstone itself 'lapis lazuli', the fact that it is mostly blue and their love for the color blue, taking all of these facets into consideration it's not hard to see why Lapis incorporates everything into their drag.
If you've been watching 'Morgyn's Drag Race' since Episode One, then you're already familiar with just how iconic a queen that Lapis is, having served looks since Episode One with the upcoming Episode 7 and 8 possibly being their strongest serves yet. Lapis believes in and identifies with the individual, priding themselves with being as unique and as standout as possible all while continuing to stay on-brand with the Lapis name (everything blue, black, eclectic and electric).
Parsley
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Parsley 32, is quite possibly the single-most polarizing figure from 'Morgyn's Drag Race'. Hailing from Evergreen Harbor, Parsley describes herself as being "lean, green and mean" and the "green meanie". The second she steps through the entryway she insults her competition by calling them all "douchebags" (originally calling them "motherfuckers"), and also easily dismisses them as being 'basic', 'boring' and 'not impressive'. With a raspy growly voice that would give Patty & Selma a run for their money. 
Parsley was inundated into the world of drag years back when she lived in San Myshuno and roomed with a popular Drag Queen named 'Darren Leek', who at the time was also her roommate. Darren welcomed Parsley into the Leek family of drag, becoming her drag-mother in the process. Though Parsley stood out from the crowd, having picked a green theme and sticking to it, she polarized a large majority of folks she came into contact with, many finding her to be rude while others found her to be downright terrifying. Parsley's own drag-mother, Darren Leek cut ties with her because of her behavior, and quite possibly out of fear.
Terra Ryzen
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Scotch Golddig
AKA
"Terra Ryzen"
22, is another queen hailing from Strangerville and is also the youngest competing queen in the competition to date. Some who have browsed the Sims reddit may remember Scotch making a few appearances
pre-drag race
as "
Florida Man
", a member of the infamous "Golddig" clan; a family of reputed 'gold-diggers' who are always looking for their next claim. His grandmother, 'Dusty Bones' made occasional appearances on reddit as a burnt-out version of '
Matilda the Chef
'.
Terra enters the competition as the youngest queen and also the most inexperienced, asking the more experienced queens for help with her makeup and nails shortly after making her entrance. Terra is almost immediately denigrated by her older, more experiences co-competitors as being "busted" and looking a "mess", though despite all that Terra manages to maintain a confidence bordering on cockiness that she will succeed and in fact win the competition, though anyone having seen the first episode will know Terra's ultimate fate.
Velvetta Baggins
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Wilberforce Armitage XVII AKA "Velvetta Baggins", is an oldschool queen from Windenburg. She speaks with a High-British or a classically 'posh British' accent, and frequently bemoans about all of the times that the French ave supposedly terrorized her and her comrades while on active duty during the war, which war you ask? She can't remember, though it was likely sometime during the ice age as woolly mammoths and spear-throwing cavemen were involved. The running gag involving Velvetta is that she is old, like really very old. In truth she is probably somewhere around 50-55 years old, however Caliente refers to Velvetta as being "90" in her talking head and Terra Ryzen speculates that she is from the Mesozoic era, basically Velvetta is the oldest queen of the season which makes her target for everyone else. A pianist classically trained in the styles of baroque, Velvetta has entertained audiences for generations and continues to do so using her oldschool style, while fellow Windenburg queen Baga Trash utilizes modern pop culture and of course 'rubbish' to entertain audiences. What's interesting about fellow Windenburg Queens; Velvetta and Baga Trash is that they are both so intrinsically different, despite hailing from the same place. It can be argued that since Velvetta has been performing drag at a time since before Baga Trash, that the two styles will naturally be different.
I think the truth of the matter is that Velvetta is just another quirky, cooky queen with a bizarre sense of humor and a unique self-styled sense of fashion, not unlike Tammie Brown. The constant callbacks to the wartime tactics and the French are either a clever joke in the guise of obfuscating reality or she actually is senile and is suffering from false memories, either way Velvetta certainly is an interesting queen to have on the stage.
So now that you've gotten to know our judges, and all twelve contestants on a more personal level, maybe you will remember to set that timer to watch 'Morgyn's Drag Race' this Sunday, at 12:45 PM Pacific Standard Time.
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girlsbtrs · 4 years
Text
Lia Menaker on her music, inspirations, and teaming up with Melanated Social Work
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Written and edited by James N. Grey. Graphic by Moira Ashley. 
Lia Menaker wants to support Black lives, specifically within the mental health sphere. So she donated the proceeds from her album, I am Kyrøs, toward ending the stigma around mental health in those communities. Girls Behind the Rock Show connected with her to get her perspective on her music, her identification with the cause, and how she feels it all ties together.
How did you find Melanated Social Work and how did you identify with their cause? 
I actually know one of the founders personally, Marvin Toliver, so I’ve been following their social media and learning about the organization from him. We are talking a lot about police reform and the justice system now, which is great and important. But we often forget about the health component. And these guys, in their focus on the liberation of Black and Brown people, are working to end the stigma around mental health in Black and Brown communities, and working to make sure mental health professionals are truly culturally competent. I realized that they were the best place to dedicate my resources and time to.
What inspired you to donate your Bandcamp proceeds to them?
George Floyd was killed just weeks before my EP was set to release. And when the riots started, and the country started waking up to the level of police brutality threatening people of color, and the injustice of our institutions, it felt very strange to release the EP. The intersection of everything—COVID-19, the racial disparities and economic inequalities thus heightened, and the slew of unjust murders of POC—all became this giant traumatic thing our country was experiencing. I felt Black voices should be heightened, and in many ways, felt that it wasn't the right time to share the music. But on the other side of things, I also knew the world needed as much art as possible, of all kinds. Since the songs dealt with identity and the self, they could relate to what was going on in many ways. 
I decided the best thing to do would be to release the music as planned, and in between the sharing and promoting of the album, to highlight as many Black voices and resources and information as possible. I wanted this to incorporate a donation and some awareness of solid Black-run organizations. 
How has being Kyrøs allowed you to be more creative and free? 
The word “kairos” is an ancient Greek concept referring to that perfect melding of space and time when it’s the opportune moment to act. It was a way of measuring time in moments (versus “kronos,” which was their concept for chronological time). When I came across the word, it felt like it described my change as an artist to a T. And once I took on the name, all that history that comes with one’s name—the feelings, memories, habits and obstacles that came with 30+ years of being “Lia Menaker”— dissolved. I think I subconsciously felt the freedom to try new things. 
I started producing, and getting super creative on my live streams. I was improv-ing with no idea what I was doing, but it didn’t matter. I just kept doing it and didn’t feel the same self-judgment I’d had before. Approaching music with a sort of reckless abandon allowed me to be the best and boldest version of myself.
But what’s interesting is even the things that free you can start to take control of you. That high you get from being in such an open, creative space…you can only ride that wavelength for so long. At some point, you get stuck again, and you find yourself chasing that high. It can become an addiction, you know? 
In a way, I ended up clinging to that identity of who I was when I was kyrøs, and I didn’t realize it until I was literally releasing the songs. It’s a big reason why it became the album name instead of my new artist name. I realized it was really more of an alter ego all along. That it didn’t replace Lia Menaker as an artist. So it turns out I was still learning lessons on identity as I was releasing the songs!
How did your childhood in theater and pop music inspire you?
While kids watched shows like Sesame Street and Barney, I was watching Annie, The Sound of Music, [and] Peter Pan… I was always drawn to it and felt like I could see myself in the characters. I begged my mom to do a musical at age 6 (Oliver), and then I was hooked doing musicals the rest of my childhood and most of my young adult life. So I think it felt like a language I understood, a form of expression I connected to on another level. There was always a story to the songs, an arc, [and] often, deep emotion and expressive vocals. I think the way I approach music—my soulfulness and the way I connect to it—comes from years of growing up with that. Also, I think a lot of my phrasing and how I articulate words comes from the musical theatre influence.
I think it was later in life that pop music began to really inspire me. Discovering Joni Mitchell was a huge one. Her incredible use of lyrics (in my opinion, she’s one of the lyrical greats and extremely underrated), and her 100% unabashed authenticity and womanliness was captivating. Her music is poetic, moody, unique—filled with so much complex emotion and story. Lyrically, I think my first album (Animal Behavior, in 2015) shows some of her influence on me. Especially the opening track, “Holding My Space.” 
But pop aside, some of the great jazz vocalists were a big influence on me as well. It started with Ella Fitzgerald and Billie Holiday. It was an easy segue because they sang a lot of Gershwin and musical theatre covers, but then I delved deeper into their work, and eventually found (and fell in love with) Nina Simone too. The raw, warm, raspy, bold voice filled with more soul and both joy and pain than I could imagine. And I always found that type of music so beautiful as a kid. I just found that part of people to be equally as beautiful as the lighter side, and found expressing pain through art to be the most incredible thing. So when I heard music that captured that, I think I was always intrigued. 
What storylines in your 30's did you find that you were shucking off?
I had this limited view of myself my whole life as a singer/performer. Since I was 6 years old, that was my life: community theatre as a kid, studying musical theatre at Penn State, tours and regional theatre, then songwriting, music and singing in every fashion. It was the way I saw my value to the world, and I basically lived for my dreams and goals—this is how I saw whether or not I was successful. And the thought of not reaching them consumed me… 
I always felt I wasn’t measuring up to whom I could be. This was a huge storyline I had to face: this idea of not being enough right now. And then it got me thinking about all this living in the ego… and “if I’m not my dreams, my goals, or even my job, what am I?” This inspired the song “Some Kind” because I realized if I wasn’t those things I most identified with, I was still me. A lot of the lyrics to that song express the storylines I grappled with, and also how I made sense of them: “We measure all that’s left with time - a calculated art. The things we do that give us pride, we hold up high as if it’s all that we are / All the stories give us meaning - keep us moving on… make it real. Run our choices, our bodies - keep us fused to what we feel.” 
I would look back periodically at my life and think things like “What have I even done? My tour wasn’t successful enough, not enough people are listening to my music, I don’t make the money I should be making at this age, I’ll never amount to anything.” [I used] whatever metrics I thought would show me proof of a valuable life. I still struggle with them sometimes. Realizing the storylines is just the start. You have to keep checking yourself [and make sure] that you’re not caught up in them again. They were ingrained in my head for years, so it takes time to rewire the brain. 
Ultimately, in my 30s, I’m finding so much more joy in the process and the creation itself, and trying to practice looking at what I have in my life as “enough.” The older I get, the more I see life passing quicker, and the more I just want to take it all in. To bask in love and music and the feeling of living with versus without. The 30s are a great time, because I think it’s the decade where a lot of us start to realize these things. Though, of course, some of us go our entire lives without feeling like we are, or we have enough. And new storylines will always be created, so we have to just keep checking ourselves. Especially when we’re all so obsessed with social media. Social media is literally a collection of storylines.
What inspired you to meld together eclectic sounds? Why a soulful, jazzy voice with a minimalistic background?
I’ve always loved warm, jazz vocals. As I mentioned earlier, I grew up engrossed in musical theatre, and that included a lot of standards by singers like Nina Simone, Billie Holiday, Ella Fitzgerald. About four years ago, I also re-fell in love with Amy Winehouse and started really listening to her vocals and her style, pinpointing what it was that I loved so much. There’s a mix of this warmth and authenticity, but with a modern edge that just hits you in all the right places. So that’s what’s inspired my sound vocally.
But at the same time, I’m a big fan of using unconventional sounds and challenging people’s ears. A lot of what I’ve listened to over the past few years has strong electronic elements. SOHN is one I’m really drawn to, and he’s brilliant at the mix of pure/simple and unconventional. He has this way of putting a simple, soaring, haunting vocal over a backdrop of complex, evolving electronic elements. It’s a sound that you can’t produce with conventional instruments. When I first heard him, it blew my mind—it was like a spiritual experience, and I thought “I want to do THAT!” Susanne Sundfor’s Silicone Veil album was a big game changer for me too. 
I loved the idea of marrying the two worlds—this classic, timeless feel with an electronic modern sound that reflects the times—to create something authentic to me and my influences. With so much of our world being digital now, it felt right to experiment with electronic elements. And when I started playing around with new software, and some samples, beats, and different gear, it just all slowly started to meld together into a sound that felt right.
What were some favorite ways that you experimented with sounds and techniques to achieve your sound? Anything that you might take over with you into the future?
A lot of the experimentation happened (and continues to happen) during my weekly live streams on Twitch (@liamenaker). It’s sort of the place where I have permission to work through songs, try stuff out, and honestly just have a lot of fun and engage with others during the creation process. The community there is also so incredibly supportive and open. The last song I wrote for the album, “Imprinted,” started out as some improv loops and just fooling around on my Twitch live stream: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xWjEAYAa7w. And I have at least four others waiting in the queue to finish that also began the same way. One of which I sent over to a jazz funk band in Paris to collaborate with me on. So I’ll definitely keep this as part of my approach. 
Aside from that, my process is always changing, to be honest. So I’m trying to remain open to new techniques and approaches, and to keep allowing myself to be inspired by other artists and sounds. I’d like to explore more synth sounds and recording techniques, and just keep improving as an artist and producer as well. One thing I’ve noticed, too, is if I zero in too much on one writing approach or technique, I start to cling to it, relying on that as the way I “should” write everything. And then things just start to feel stale for me, or I run out of juice or hit a writer’s block. Then I find a new technique or gear or collaboration. I guess that’s why my approach keeps changing. We’ll see how long the current one sticks for, ha!
Which track on the EP is your favorite and why?
I think it keeps changing. But at the moment, the opening track "All My Life" is my favorite. I’m really connecting to the meditative and tribal nature of it, and I think the chorus is the catchiest of the songs. It has that "nobody's gonna bring me down!" feeling too, which feels extra relevant now, as many of us in the country feel like we're just pushing forward, doing everything we can to make things work during this difficult time.
I constantly imagine songs in other places: are there any movies/TV shows or any other places where you'd imagine your songs would play?
I can see some of these in crime and murder mystery-type shows. I’ve had people tell me “Imprinted” has a Twin Peaks or James Bond feel to it. So maybe a show or movie with a kind of slinky jazz lounge vibe. There’s definitely a meditative, tribal feel to some of the songs too, so I think they could work in a movie/TV show with that vibe. But honestly, I think less about music in terms of specific movies or TV shows, and more about fitting themes. So, for example, “All My Life” is perfect to capture that theme of being unstoppable, or a character finally going after their dream. “Stranger” would work well for a theme of not feeling like yourself or acting out of character. I think a lot of the songs on the album fit clear, universal themes, and so I’m hoping that I can find some success pitching these to music supervisors, production companies, etc.
For all us young'un's out there: How much of our identity is actually wrapped up in our dreams? Do you think it's important to separate our dreams, identity, and realities?
Uh oh… you’re going to get me on a soapbox, ha!
So I think it’s different for everyone, but I think it’s fair to say that for most of us, yes, our identity is either wrapped up in our dreams and/or in our work. Think about it. When we meet people, how often do we ask, “What do you do?” as if the answer will give us an accurate idea of who they really are. And how often do we judge people based on their careers?
But the truth is, achievements DO NOT define who you are, and do not define your worth, value, or potential. And while dreams can shape us, they can also limit us. They can keep us from seeing other sides of ourselves. And when we’re hyper focused on them, we miss out on so much beauty! I find the most memorable moments of life are actually quiet, behind the scenes, and not at all the result of working towards a dream or goal. [Goals] are not as great when they determine your ultimate view of yourself and control your amount of suffering. 
I think I’m just realizing now too, that I hate the term “dream.” Dream sounds like an “all or nothing” approach. “Ideal” feels more flexible. For some reason, it feels healthier for me to look at it as “my ideal situation” version “my dream.”All around us, we’re being told we need to “dream big” and “you can do whatever you set your mind to” and “live up to your potential.” We love to dote on famous and rich people or take courses on how to be like them. Those who never “make it” (whatever that awful phrase even means) are looked at as failures, less successful, not as worthy or talented or smart. It’s. All. Bullshit. And the song on the EP “Imprinted” basically revolves around all of this. 
So do I think it’s important to separate our dreams, identity, and realities? I think it’s probably unrealistic to try to. I think it’s all intertwined. Our dreams (or “ideal situation,” ha) will probably shape a bit of who we are (our identity). But I think the key is to understand [that] it’s a very small, ego-driven piece of who we are, and doesn’t ultimately define us. And I think it’s important to see our identities (and dreams for that matter) as constantly shifting. To, as one of my favorite spiritual teachers Pema Chödrön talks about, get comfortable with the fact that the ground beneath us is always shifting. I think it’s healthy to incorporate the stuff on the ego-level (dreams, identity) and the stuff underneath, the non-ego (that pure essence of who we are underneath the dreams, underneath the identity perceptions, underneath all judgments and experiences). Because while the stuff on the surface doesn’t define the essence of who we are, it’s still a reality that we take the train into work, or have to cook dinner for the kids, or need to make money to survive, right? These are still very real; they’re just not the full picture. And that’s the important part.
I think it’s especially important for the younger generations to pay attention to all of this in the age of social media. [Social media has] made understanding the truth of who we are and the idea of living in the non-ego so hard. Social media is all ego, storylines. I’m not saying it doesn’t have a lot of good aspects to it too. But it make[s] it very hard to feel and see the layers of a situation. Things are often black and white on social media, and we are sold specific messages on what it means to be successful and happy. It’s a system based on instant gratification (likes, comments, followers), and we have the tendency to add it up to calculate our value. If we’re not careful, it can drive us further from the whole truth, and deeper into the storylines.
Lia Menaker’s album I am Kyrøs is available now on https://liamenaker.bandcamp.com/. 
All proceeds throughout the month of July benefit Melanated Social Work [https://www.instagram.com/melanatedsocialwork/?hl=en]. 
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Text
Written for Bathena Week Day 2
Word Count: 3654
Summary:  Rationale: this whole thing can be avoided with direct communication. Just ask what’s going on. May, Harry, & Buck: lol, nah.
Also read here.
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Big, beautiful doe eyes look up at him, capturing his full attention. He unconsciously runs a hand through the soft curls of her hair, getting soft, happy gurgles in response. He can’t help but smile as he removes his hand from her hair and rubs his thumb against her warm brown cheek. She smiled and gave him what sounds like a giggle before grabbing his thumb in her grip.
“Bobby, I told you to get her packed up ten minutes ago. This is as far as you got?” Athena leaned over the arm of the couch resting her head on Bobby’s shoulder.  The baby, Mia’s, eyes left Bobby and turned their attention to the new person in her line of sight. Athena smiled at her.
“It’s not my fault she didn’t want to move, she’s quite comfortable right now.”
“She told you that, huh?”
“She can be very persuasive.” Athena hit him lightly on the shoulder and huffed out a chuckle
“Well, as much as she doesn’t want to she’s gonna have to. Her mama will be here any second.” As soon as the words were out of her mouth, the doorbell rang. Athena turned back towards Bobby, “see.”
Athena went to the door to let in Mia’s mom, Braxton. Bobby got off the couch and tried to sit Mia down so he could finish packing her bag, she refused each time he tried, “okay, kid.” He made quick work of packing the baby bag on the coffee table, which only consisted of a few blankets, bottles, clothes, and toys. He could hear two people walking back into the living room.
“Hey Bobby,” Braxton greeted as he put the last of the items and zipped up the bag.
“Hey Braxton, I hope everything was okay with your wife.”
“Oh, it was. She just fell and broke her foot at work. Nothing serious, thankfully. They patched her up and released her. I dropped her off at home, before coming back.” She reached her hand out towards the baby, the baby shook her and laid her head in Bobby’s chest, “excuse me, then. Looks like she likes you,” Braxton smiled up at him, “but nope, I haven’t seen my baby girl all day. You’re coming with me, kid.” Braxton gently took Mia out of Bobby’s arms. Mia whined a bit but soon settled in her mother’s hold without much fuss. “Are you good now?” She kissed the top of her head, “I hope she wasn’t too much trouble.”
“Not at all. She was a dream.” Athena said with fondness.
“Yeah, she’s only that clingy towards people she really likes. So you two must have made an awesome impression on her,” She took the baby bag from Bobby and placed it on her shoulder. She looked towards the baby, who still had her eyes on them, and back at them. “Have you two thought about having a kid?” She decided to ask.
Bobby and Athena looked at Braxton with wide eyes at the seemingly random question. They looked at each other before looking back at the young woman in front of them. “You say that like we’re your age, Brax.” Athena said carefully.
“Like that matters. My younger brother just turned two a few months ago. When my mom remarried after my dad died, she and her hubby decided they wanted to have a baby together. They couldn’t do it naturally anymore, so they did IVF. It’s actually what gave me the courage to do it after I got married.”
Athena looked apprehensive. Bobby had an unreadable expression. “I don’t know...”
“Oh, I just talk without thinking sometimes. You know that, Sarg. I hope I didn’t overstep or anything. I just thought it would be something to think about. You guys are really good at this,” she started speaking rapidly, a quirk she had when she was nervous, “Or even adoption or fostering. I know a lot of kids would love to have parents like you guys. I don’t know, like I said, just something to think about, I guess,” her mouth snapped shut after that, thinking it best to just stop talking.
“It’s okay, Braxton. You didn’t say anything out of the way.” Athena assured her.
“And thank you for the compliment.” Bobby said with a smile.
Braxton felt a bit better and smiled back. “On that note, I’ve done enough putting my foot in my mouth for one day. I should be getting this little one home and getting back to Jemma.” They walked her to the door. Braxton stepped over the threshold and turned back to say, “thank you guys again for watching her. You really helped me out. I owe you guys.”
“No, you don’t. You asked, I accepted. We were happy to do it.”
“It was no problem at all,” Bobby told her.
“You guys are the best!” She looked down at her baby, “Can you say bye bye, nugget? Tell ‘em bye.” Braxton picked up Mia’s arm and waved it at them. “See ya tomorrow Sarg, til next time Bobby.” They said their good byes and waited until Braxton and Mia pulled off before going back in the house.
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Later that night, what Braxton said to them earlier still ran through Athena’s mind. It wasn’t the first time that she’d been approached with the idea. She knows she’s said that she didn’t want to reset the clock another 18 years, especially given the fact that her oldest will be 18 soon, but the idea of something that her Bobby created together is rolling around in her head.
“Athena,” Bobby’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts she looked up to see him sitting on the edge of their bed waving her over, “come here.”
She walked over towards and allowed him to pull her into him. His hands settled on the small of her back, while hers wrapped around his neck. “I could hear you thinking from here, what’s on your mind?”
“Really? You sure what Braxton said earlier isn’t still on your mind.”
Sometimes, Athena really hated how well her husband knew her. She sighed, “I mean it’s something to think about.”
“Yeah it is. And it’s not the first time the idea had been thrown our way. It might be time to talk about it?”
She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, “I mean, do you want to? A kid together?”
“I’m not going to lie, a small version of us that has your eyes and smile has crossed my mind a time or three,” Athena went respond, “but like I told you in the beginning, I love may and Harry like they’re my own and I’m good with that. We don’t do anything you don’t want to do and not 100% on board with.”
“But you are open to the idea?”
“I am open to the idea. How are you feeling about it?”
“I don’t know, I like the idea, but there are a lot of things to consider here, May and Harry, first and foremost,” she knew that if they decided to do this, she’d wanted to at least get their opinions on it.
“I understand, it’s a lot to take in. I want to hope they’d be thrilled with the idea.”
“I do, too. I just don’t know how they’re going to react to me having another baby.”
“I guess after we decide what we want to do, we’ll see where their heads are at with the whole idea.”
“Absolutely.” She leaned in to kiss him. “So, we’ll cap this by saying we’re open to the idea of adding to the family.” Saying out it out loud the idea to take solid shape in her brain.
“We are open,” he agreed. She yelped in surprise when he placed her on the bed, “until we make a solid decision a little practice at trying couldn’t hurt.”
“I can’t seem to see the harm in that.” Her lips meet hers again.
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Harry sat down next to Buck, who was playing video games in the loft at the station. May was on the other side of them scrolling through Instagram on her phone.
Buck had to call Harry’s name three times before he got his attention. Harry zoned back into what was happening around him “huh, what?”
“Dude, I asked if you wanted to play?” Buck studied the kid for a moment, “are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” Harry folded his arms across his chest and sunk down into the sofa.
“He’s been like this for the last couple of days. “What’s going on with you?” May asked with genuine concern.
Harry thought for a moment on whether or not he should tell them. He knew he probably wasn’t supposed to know himself, but he also wanted someone else going through this with him.
He looked towards Bobby and his mom, who were across the room, talking. Buck and May followed his line of sight and looked back at him, more curious than before. “Okay, but you have to promise not to tell anybody. I’m pretty I’m not even supposed to know this.”
“Okay...” May and Buck reluctantly agreed and looked at each other.
Harry chanced one more glance toward his mom to make sure her attention wasn’t on them. He leaned in close and, in a lowered voice, said, “I think mom’s pregnant.”
The statement was followed by Buck choking on air and May giving Harry a skeptical look. “Harry, stop playing.” May told him.
“I’m not! I overheard them talking about it.” Harry defended.
“Wait, hold up, back up,” Buck jumped back in, face beet red, barely composed, “did you say Athena was pregnant? Athena? Like having a baby?”
“That’s what pregnant means Buck.” May told him, tone slightly sarcastic.
“I know it’s just. I mean Athena? Isn’t she-”
“I’m going to stop you right there.” May interrupted, knowing what was going to come out of his mouth didn’t need to be said. “Back to you,” she pointed towards Harry, “what makes you think mom’s pregnant?”
“Well...”
3 days prior...
It was late and Harry couldn’t sleep. He decided to go in his mom’s room and talk to her, as he usually did when this happened. He got out of bed and walked the short distance to her bedroom. He noticed the door was cracked and he heard his mom and Bobby’s voices slightly muffled voices inside.
“There are just a lot of things to consider here, May and Harry, first and foremost,” he heard his mom say. Harry tiptoed a little closer to the door.
“I understand, it’s a lot to take in, I want to hope they’d be thrilled with the idea.” He heard Bobby respond.
“I do, too. I just don’t know how they’re gonna react to me having another baby.”
Harry shocked, covered his mouth to hold in reaction and tiptoed quietly to his sister’s room to find her asleep. Not knowing what to do, he just returned to his room, being forced to mull over the idea of a new sibling alone. If he couldn’t sleep before...
“And you’re sure that’s what you heard?” May asked.
“It’s burned into my brain. Bobby and mom were talking about how we’d react to having a new baby in the house.”
“Oh my god. Oh my god! I can’t believe... I didn’t think... I mean... wow.” May sputtered.
“Wow is right. I can’t believe those two are going to have a baby.” Buck said thoughtfully. “I mean, are you though?”
“Are we what?” Harry asked.
“Okay with this, with Athena and Bobby having a baby?”
Harry and May thought for a moment. They’d never really thought about the idea before. “Yeah, I am.” May said.
“So am I,” May looked at his sister and smile. As he thought about it some more he started to frown. “Ah, man!”
“What?” May asked.
“With you going to college and stuff, they’re gonna want me to help out aren’t they?” Harry rolled his eyes, “I hope they won’t make me change any dirty diapers,” he said.
May clapped him on the back and looked him with sympathetic humor, “it’s mom, of course you’re not going to be that lucky. I wasn’t when you were born,” May conveniently left out the part where she actually wanted to help out and made their mom teach her things to help, “I was wondering when life was going to return the favor.”
Harry huffed in disgust and flopped back into the sofa cushions.
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It had been a week, since Buck, May, and Harry talked about Harry’s discovery. They mutually decided not to say anything and let Athena and Bobby tell them when they were ready to. Since then, though, he started noticing signs he hadn’t seen before. Athena started coming by the fire house more. When he saw them together, they seemed a bit more affectionate, Bobby was a bit more attentive to her. What really sold it for him was when he’d come to their home for dinner a couple of days ago and Athena had gotten sick. He shuddered at the memory, but was coming to love the thought of having a baby around.
He was hoping them announcing it was the true purpose of tonight as he pulled up to the restaurant. It had been a week full of tough calls and Bobby had invited everyone out to refresh and celebrate a job well done. He exited the car and walked in the restaurant to find that he was the last to arrive, as always.
“About time you showed up, we were beginning to think you wouldn’t show,” Chimney commented as Buck walked over to the table.
“Ah, sorry. Traffic. You know how it is.” Buck took off her jacket and sat on the side of the table next to his sister, across from Athena.
“Yeah, yeah, sure.”
“So what’s up guys? What did I miss?” Buck eyed May as he picked up the glass of water, knowingly. She shook her head to indicate nothing had been said. Athena, having caught the look, looked between them both suspiciously.
“Nothing much, we’ve already ordered drinks. That’s all,” a few moments later a tall, lanky waiter brought the drinks to the table. Most of the drinks looked alcoholic for everyone else with Bobby ordering soda.
As he watched everyone have their drinks placed in front of them, he was about to stop the waiter to order his own when he saw the glass of wine being placed in front of Athena. She thanked the waiter and was about to take a drink when Buck, without thinking, took the glass from her and took a good swig out of it. He grimaced a bit at the taste, not being a big wine drinker.
Athena, not amused in the slightest, fixed him with a look that would probably send him straight to his grave if it could, “Evan, you have two seconds to tell me why you did that.”
“I- I, um, thought pregnant women couldn’t drink?” He said nervously, his words coming out as more of a question.
All side conversation at the table had ceased, everyone was looking at him in shock and/or confusion, including Athena, “I’m sorry, you thought what now?”
Buck was going to respond when May jumped in, “mom, you don’t have to hide it anymore, we know. Well, we figured it out.”
“Yeah, we’ve known about you being pregnant a while.” Harry commented.
“What?!” Bobby and Athena exclaimed at the same time, the volume drawing some attention from patrons at neighboring tables.
“Talk about secret keeping, you’re pregnant?” Hen asked her, voice dripping with humor. Similar questions were asked by everyone else.
“No! I’m not.” She looked looked between May, Harry, and Buck, “but seeing as this is something the three of you seem to have gotten in your heads, I’m curious as to why you guys would think that.”
Buck and May immediately turned to Harry, who grumbled at being the one who was chosen to explain. He sighed, “I overheard you guys talking about it.”
Athena looked at Bobby, Bobby just shrugged his shoulders, not knowing either. “When?” Bobby asked him.
“It was about two weeks ago. I was gonna come to your room to talk to mom when I over heard you guys talking. You were talking about how me and May would react to having another baby in the house.”
Athena grimaced remembering the conversation, “oh, baby, that’s not-“ she sighed, deciding now was as good a time as any to explain and figuring out how she could, “we did say that, but we didn’t mean it in that way.”
“I’m confused.” Harry told her.
“Earlier that day, the idea of having a baby together had been suggested. We were just talking about it, that’s all. It wasn’t about me being pregnant right now, just how you guys would react if we were to decide we wanted to add to the family.” Athena explained.
“So you’re not pregnant? But you’ve been sick,” Harry said.
“And you haven’t been drinking any wine lately,” May followed.
“That’s just because I’ve had a stomach virus, I’m okay now. I’m not pregnant. I promise,” Athena assured not only them, but everyone else. “Everything good now?”
“Yeah, it is.” Harry looked thoughtful for a second before saying, “you know, I kinda got used to the idea of having a baby in the house. I still didn’t wanna change any dirty diapers, though.”
“Yeah, me too, honestly,” May said.
“I was ready to have them around,” Buck said, “all the stuff I was gonna teach them.”
“Buck you can barely teach yourself,” Maddie countered jokingly.
Athena and Bobby looked at each other and smiled. “Well, it’s good to know all of you are on board with it,” Bobby told them all. “Nothing’s set in stone. If and when Athena and I decide it’s something we want to do, you’ll be the first to know. Sound good?”
Buck, May, and Harry agreed.
“And y’all know better than this. If you’ve got something on your mind or something you want to know, just ask me. We would have told you what was going on.” Athena told her children.
“It wasn’t that, mom. We just decided that weren’t going to say anything and just let you guys tell us when you wanted to, since we weren’t supposed to know anyway.” May told her. “We actually thought it was why all of we out tonight.”
“Still, next time just ask, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Okay, now that that’s cleared up. Let’s talk about these two glasses of wine that you owe for that stunt you just pulled.” Athena pointed star him. Buck had the good sense to look sheepish.
XXXXX
Athena sat in her doctor’s office, waiting. Since there had been so much discussion of the idea of child having lately, she decided to make an appointment with her OBGYN, just to discuss where she was as far as her options. She knew that she was still having her cycle regularly, so the option of conceiving naturally was not completely off the table. But she had to admit to herself the risks that would be involved with carrying a baby at her age. Especially given her last pregnancy wasn’t the easiest and it was over a decade ago. There’s a lot more wear and tear on her body now.
Her thoughts were broken at the sound of the door opening. “Mrs. Nash,” Athena was greeted by her doctor. “It certainly has been a while since I’ve seen you, you’ve gone through a new name change and everything.”
She twisted the rings on her finger and chuckled a bit, “yeah, I have.”
She walked to the desk in front of Athena and sat down across from her. “Alright, so as you know, I’ve run some tests. Though some of them will take a couple of days to come back, I have a couple of important one right here,” she held up the standard beige file folder, “I want to discuss with you.”
“Okay,” Athena said as she sat up a little straighter.
Her doctor opened the file and looked her in the eye, “well, Athena, it seems that we don’t have to discuss conception options anymore because you’re already pregnant.”
At that Athena began to laugh, clearly thinking the doctor was joking with her. They have known each other since she was pregnant with May after all, “good one. Now what did you really want to discuss?”
“I’m not joking. You are pregnant, Athena.” Seeing the serious look, all humor fell from Athena’s face and was replaced by shock.”
“You can’t be serious,” well this was unexpected, “let me see that.” Since the information in the file was hers and hers alone, the doctor didn’t have any issue handing Athena the file. Athena skimmed through the medical jargon and there, clear as day, a sentence saying that she was positive for pregnancy.
“This must be a mistake,” Athena said as looked back up towards the doctor. She didn’t know what to think. She and Bobby just started actually discussing the idea, nothing was supposed to happen this fast. These couldn’t be her tests results, it had to be a mix up.
“I assure you, Athena, that it isn’t,” she said as she held out her hand to get the file back, “it surprised me and I had the lab run them again to make sure, blood and urine, specifically. These are your results...” the doctor trailed off, or at least Athena thought she did. The words turned to white noise as Athena flopped back in her chair, mind wondering with a million possibilities. She was completely stunned, but she could feel the undercurrent of excitement fluttering. She was gonna have another baby, she and Bobby were going to have a baby.
Fan-cast: Jessica Parker Kennedy as Braxton.
This is a headcannon that’s near and dear to my heart. I think I’ll name them Ayesha and Amelia (a reference to another story of mine)
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simonjadis · 5 years
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Anon I’m ASSUMING that these are from the same person; apologies if they are not
I would say that my feelings are similar to yours, but not quite identical ...
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Disney’s handling has been imperfect, and some of the mistakes have been made the highest level (I know that people give Kathleen Kennedy a hard time, but if rumor is to be believed, some of the interference that made IX kind of weird came from higher than that)
for example, Kennedy said in an interview that she tries to find people who just make big, successful movies to make sure that these are also big, successful movies. I can understand that as being a safe bet from a business stand point, but that’s not the same thing as finding someone passionate about very specifically telling good, new Star Wars stories, which we did not really get in the Sequel Trilogy
(one of the most common theories that I saw from TLJ apologists was that people didn’t like that it was new/different than what they were expecting, which was really not the issue for me or my friends. Also it was just a speedrun of parts of Episodes V and VI)
I think that I’m “too close” to Star Wars to see it as a financial asset rather than a beloved universe full of characters and stories that I adore, but I don’t think that “literally just rehash the Original Trilogy for two movies and barely acknowledge any other part of Star Wars until IX” was a good idea
Rey deserved her own story. and Luke deserved to not be retroactively robbed of his
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as for George Lucas, I do think that years of backlash over the Prequels sucked the fun out of it for him. Also, who doesn’t want four billion dollars? it was a sweetheart deal for Disney, of course
the sad thing is that this meant the end of Clone Wars, because Disney took one look at Lucasfilm’s budget and was like “OH NO YOU CANNOT SPEND THAT KIND OF MONEY ON A CARTOON” which is why Season 6 was paid for by Netflix and why Maul: Son of Dathomir was a comic
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I love Star Wars Rebels and I’m not trying to knock the show at all, but the budgetary difference was palpable. Clone Wars did have it a little easier because of the Clone Troopers (all having the same face), but on Rebels, you notice that 90% of the Imperials are the same guy wearing a hat with his visor obscuring most of his face. market scenes show just a few people (but plenty of Storm Troopers)
the designs of the main characters -- Ezra, Hera, Sabine, Zeb, Kallus, Thrawn, Kanan, etc -- are great and loving and detailed and most of those change a little over time, but there’s a reason that we only see so many planets on Rebels. look at the huge armies and crowds in Rebels. my friend @drunkkenobi​ is the first who pointed out to me that in Clone Wars, you sometimes see lines of ships (Space Traffic) and each ship in line will be unique, distinct from the others
it’s not Rebels’ fault that they didn’t have that kind of budget. that’s also why their space battles (and space ships) never quite look right. meanwhile, for Clone Wars, if they wanted a particular scene or ship that went over their planned budget, all that they had to do was ask Uncle George
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eccentric billionaires funding expensive media isn’t necessarily the most sustainable model for storytelling, but it sure worked out well for Clone Wars and for The Expanse
(Jeff Bezos personally called up the head of Amazon Prime programming, who had already been considering acquiring the extremely good but expensive show, and was like “hey the cast from this show is at a thing where I am, I’d love to just tell them that their show is saved, give me it?” and we saw as many new locations in Season 4 as we did in the first three seasons)
but streaming -- where you actually get money directly from customers who then, through their activity on your platform, show you exactly what they want to see aka what is keeping them on your platform -- offers a new opportunity for high quality genre media. remember, scifi and fantasy were EVERYWHERE in the ‘90s and the early aughts, and then because too expensive for regular TV unless they had huge audiences. only through streaming do we have these new Star Treks, The Witcher, and the real possibility of a new Stargate series
why do I bring up streaming? because
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The Mandalorian goes to show that Disney can 100% do good Star Wars. Rebels was good, despite its budget, but can you imagine how much better it would have been if it had aired on Disney+
as with the DC movies (three of which are good and I’m also excited for Birds of Prey), the solution to the our-movies-made-a-lot-of-money-but-aren’t-strictly-speaking-good is literally just “let the people who do the cartoons make the movies”
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and now we’re getting a final, seventh (half) season of Clone Wars! twelve episodes looking better than the show has ever looked!!
if you’re like me, you probably thought to yourself “gee, only 12?” and, cynically, you figured that it’s a trick -- announced at ComicCon in 2018 to build up the first wave of hype for Disney+
and it is ... but it 100% worked on me, I signed up for Disney+ and will pay anything for Clone War
my HOPE is that this is a test run to see if people really like high-quality animated Star Wars stories enough to continue with it. there’s only so much clone wars that one can cover (my suspicion is that we will see Ahsoka fake her death during Order 66 in these eps, so yep, that’s the end of the Clone Wars right there)
imagine a well-written series with everything that Clone Wars had in terms of content and visual quality, but it’s set after Episode IX. to my frustration, IX ends with effectively the same worldstate as VI which essentially means that nothing much happened in the Sequel Trilogy. but imagine a series set after IX. we could see a new set of (Force-wielding) characters. we could see Rey, Finn, Poe, and Rose during some episodes. Rose could finally get to do something that’s not an insulting fool’s errand (she deserves so much better!!!!!)
we don’t need a new Big Scary Empire/First Order thing, just organized crime and pirates and Hutts and bounty hunters and individual planet systems going to war as the characters try to assemble a NEW New Republic (gods I hate the unchanged worldstate)
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now, I know that Star Wars Resistance is not ... reassuring. this is the only screencap that I have from it because I couldn’t get into it. it’s not the animation (I enjoyed Tron Uprising and Iron Man: Armored Adventures and this is the same kind of deal), but three things:
-I watch Star Wars for the Force primarily; other stuff can be cool but I need the Force
-I will never care about ships racing and really I don’t care about an individual ship flying; I’m a Command Ship kind of space nerd
-apparently the writing doesn’t improve much during the first season. people tell the main character to not do something, then he does it, and disaster ensues. that’s ... it’s fine, it’s fine to exist as a show, it’s just not for me
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obviously, not all Star Wars media is for me, but when something -- like TLJ or the Sequel Series as a whole (even though VII and IX are enjoyable) or Resistance -- disappoints me, I would never accuse it of “ruining Star Wars”
Star Wars is a whole franchise. the breadth of canon isn’t all wiped away by some disappointments. was the MCU ruined by Age of Ultron? no. it was a bad movie but from the same franchise that gave us The Winter Soldier and Thor Ragnarok. hell, Dawn of Justice doesn’t “ruin” Wonder Woman or Aquaman or Shazam. bad movies aren’t contagious
for the past several years, the Entitled Dude crowd has felt empowered. they were radicalized in the altright/redpill/MGTOW/meninist/nazi/gamergate/comicsgate/etc spheres of the internet and now they just have a reflex where they see any sort of representation and decry it as “SJW,” which they also seem to think is a bad thing
in the same way that well-meaning people on tumblr can get radicalized into being antis/puriteens, people with certain vulnerabilities on reddit or youtube can get sucked into a world that tells them that they are the default and that other people existing is “political” in media and in real life, and that people being upset by outright cruelty towards them is both funny and means that the cruel person is the victor. they need therapy and studios need to not listen to them
unfortunately, sometimes there are movies that are bad despite having things like solid representation. Ghostbusters 2016 was a delight, but my friends and I with whom I saw TLJ (all of us queer feminists) left the theater angry. we’ve bitten our tongues a lot (even if it seems otherwise) because publicly criticizing the film too often leads some incel monster to chime in with agreement, and we’re just like
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the redpillgate crowed et all is a natural ally of conservative white evangelicals, even though the former group is generally made up of New Atheists (the short version is atheists who hold socially conservative views because racism/misogyny/transphobia benefit them without using christianity as an excuse). it’s kind of like how terfs will side with conservative hate groups because, though they’re natural enemies, they both despite trans people just for existing
unfortunately, when you’re looking at who went to see a movie or who hated it, not everyone posts with an ID card saying exactly their demographic. which is only going to make studios like Disney even more nervous about including queer content in Star Wars and in the MCU (I mean real queer content with characters whose names don’t have to be searched on a wiki)
that was a bit of a tangent, but yeah. sorry if I missed anything
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gothamdetected-a · 5 years
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an idiot’s guide to ra’s al ghul. 
ok so at this point im really gna say fuck dc canon, and go completely off piste and write my own.
dc really don't know how to write this man a backstory and he literally has one of the least developed and simultaneously confusing origins of any batman rogue. so here, lemme fix that.
ra's al ghul is a moniker, a title that is passed down. anyone who leads the league of assassins/shadows, becomes ra's al ghul (roughly translated to the demon's head). this explains how a White Man, henri ducard was able to become ra's al ghul in batman begins. at the passing of the head of the league, the next in line, by order of physical and mental prowess, becomes the next ra's. bruce himself is, at one point, supposed to pick up the mantle - the current ra's considers him his only worthy successor (a la arkham city & some of the comics from the 80s/90s), the man who will replace him and exceed him. however bruce, due to his unwavering morals and refusal to kill in order to bring "justice" ends up spurning the league, and is disowned by ra's in a very effective way - he tries to kill bruce. ra's still holds some sort of belief that bruce will return to him, despite all of this. he uses talia and then damian as a pawn in this game, to draw bruce back to the league and have him become the next demon's head.
so who is "ra's", or at least the goateed, green pant suited, scimitar wielding ninja who is most commonly seen as THE "ra's"? well, dc couldn't really make up their minds, so i'll do my best to patch it together from the 8 different versions, and compile something that agrees with most of it.
ra's was born approximately 600 years ago, to a man known as the Sensei (an asian martial artist) and an unknown mother of arabic descent, somewhere in the middle east. little is known about his early years, other than he was obsessed with the sciences, and became a physician with a wife named Sora. he made many discoveries ahead of time - understanding microscopic pathogens, how to cure diseases such as cholera and typhoid, although his greatest discovery was the Lazarus Pits - a natural phenomenon containing a mysterious green liquid with immense restorative properties. ( this is not to be confused with the fountain of youth at shangri-la, which his father, the Sensei, used). ra's uses the pit on the son of a local sultan who is dying, but when the boy returns, he is not all there. the empathy is gone, and he gets pretty funky about killing people, including ra's wife, sora. it is important to note, at this point, ra's is not called ra's, but dc have never given him a name so idek what to call him. so we don't know his real name, age, or what his chilhood was like. lets keep it that way, we stan an air of mystery.
the death of his wife and the overpowering grief leads to a fixation with revenge - ra's trains furiously to master martial arts and eventually kills the sultan, his son and razes their city to the ground. at this point he becomes "the demon's head" and founds the league, with the aim of eradicating evil from the world, mostly through assassination and genocide. which, you know. isn't great. this is also the period in which ra's begins to use the lazarus pit on himself, in order to prolong his life. he seeks more pits throughout the world, travelling extensively, and finds three more: one in switzerland, one in what will later become gotham, and one on infinity island, making a grand total of four. dc can go fuck themselves there is literally only four, you can't just keep making more when it's convenient. ra's intends to only use the pits until a worthy successor can be found for the league, but two problems occur; one) he starts going a bit nuts from over using the pits, and it does become like an addiction and two) he never finds someone he considers worthy.
so, skip through a bunch of wars he fought in, the league becoming globally established, and the industrial revolution. ra's doesn't like that. bad machines, destroying the earth, coating the skies with pollution and leading to greater inequality. so ra's decides it's time to purge humanity, and leave only the people he deems worthy behind, in a fresh clean world (in a real james bond villain move.). he builds wonder city, beneath gotham and around the gotham lazarus pit, but the city is never used because ra's does something mad stupid and falls in love. so much for eco terrorism, he's now off having babies with a woman named melisande. or one particular baby - talia. due to ra's having been using the pits for centuries before boning this poor woman, talia comes out with slowed aging abilities. ra's eventually murders melisande when she gets antsy about him training their kid to be a master assassin. he does a very similar thing with a russian lady to produce talia's half sister, nyssa. so by now the 20th century is in full swing, ra's has a cute lil murder family and the league has become a smaller part of a huge underground organisation called The Demon, at which ra's sits at the head. he still hasn't found a successor though, and he's getting Old. the lazarus pits are no longer bringing him back 100% - he loses more and more of his sanity with each ressurection. and then. wow. bruce wayne appears. and ra's sees a huge amount of himself in this kid, the loss, the anger. boom, we got ourself a successor.
we all know how that wound up.
so ra's is now Personally Mad at batman, and we get the Contagion storyline. back to his old, eco-terrorism ways, ra's unleashes the clench, a really nasty virus that's definitely worse than your average cold. batman eventually finds and disperses a cure, but gotham is Mad Fucked. damian wayne is born, trained by his mama and gramps, and then abandoned at 10 on bruce's doorstep. there's a brief interlude where bane also goes to train under ra's in the hopes of being the worthy successor and marrying talia instead, but then everyone realises he's one sandwich short of a picnic and ra's kicks him out in his ass once batman beats him in another fight. there's also some funky moments where ra's
• tries to resurrect thomas and martha wayne. it goes about as well as you'd expect.
• pisses off both of his daughters who start to work against him. talia half teams up with supes. wild.
• lets his guard down and most of the lazarus pits are destroyed, leaving only the one beneath gotham.
• tries to body swap with his grandson (i literally hate dc)
• watches batman accidentally kill his old dad the Sensei, by dragging him into a lazarus pit which destroys the nasty man's corrupted soul and heals bruce tf up which is how dc get away with him looking permenantly 30
• has another, estranged child, who becomes the White Ghost
• helps tim find bruce after he "died" but then becomes a lil bitch over it and tries to do a ninja take over of gotham and destroy anything about wayne. he fist fights tim, and dick, and then lo and behold it was all a test or some shit, which is the dc version of "he woke up and it was all a dream".
• makes superhumans in whale wombs which honestly, when i read the issues, i wanted to Die. literally straight up end me.
there's a bunch more stuff but im not a masochist enough to keep going. the point is, he's an old naughty man, kind of bruce's father in law, definitely insane, and dc will probably drag this mans back at some point. but i like to go with the arkham knight ending, where bruce chooses to cut a half-resurrected ra's off from the last of the lazarus pit, and drops his dying body off at the gcpd to an indeterminate fate, while nyssa becomes the new demon's head. its a good ending. makes sense. works well with everything. gives him a solid out. but honestly they won't leave him alone and he'll be back soon i'm sure, being pesky and owning really freaking cool swords.
so yeah, that's a rough and ready guide to ra's al ghul, because dc really can't manage this themselves and i'm made to pick up the slack.
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