#I CRIED I CRIED SO MUCH i cried sm that day i had 4 break downs all before 9am the slightest thing like toast would break me i was fragile | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dojae-huh · 1 year ago

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Anon as someone who works I agree most times ppl who work with you are just colleagues but you do build friendships on the way too. I've had colleagues help me financially (giving me loans when I needed it) to help me find someone to take over my responsibilities for 2 months when I needed holidays the most a few years back. There are a few ppl I would never be alone with but Ive also built friendships that have lasted me to this day even if they left the place I work at.

Most SM idols are very close, they all meet outside work and even years after they worked together unlike others. SES and also girls generation still meet (other than Jessica though). Same with tvxq we have pics of yunho and jaejoong chatting and sitting with eo parents and family. 127 are a male group so believe me when they're angry at someone they fight and resolve it, unlike women who have been programmed to be competitive with other women and so never even get along well with their sisters. Women compete for attention, snsd talked about this very well in the beginning of their career.

As for 127 you could clearly see the cracks in the band or the groups very clearly a few years back. It's still there but it has become alot better since 2022... Either they all talked out what each members wants to do or members have accepted that changes will be happening.

As for taeyong and doyoung, doyoung built this friendship. Doyoung used to get irritated with tae and even talked to his manager about it but ultimately they learned to live and become very good friends through it. Dotae are so similar to my fav ship from shinee minkey, to this day they keep arguing and fighting but they also do everything together.

We build most of our relationships both platonic and romantic and dotae is very much built on mutual respect and love so it's not fake at all, Doyoung smiles fake but never cries fake, he hates being emotional so why would he cry for the fans.

Dowoo, johndo, johnwoo even johnjae are very much collgues... Just look at BTS videos and who are usually sitting together... But they're good enough colleagues to be good work friends

Yes sometimes over the top ships are fake, like markhyuck but markhyuck are very close and depend emotionally and spiritually for strength to continue with their work in 2 bands. Mark kept haechan active last year but ultimately I've a feeling 127 hyungs asked haechan to just take a break so he sat out of the tour. Same with ppl not realising that haechan is very close to jisung and jeno... He closest to them along with renjun

Random but renjun is the very social and I as a NCT fan never realised it, the boy has friends who are 10 or more years older than him in SM. He's making good relationships as he gets older. From what I've seen his friendships are close enough for him to make fun of a hyung who is 9 years older to him

Also as groups grow older most groups stop selling we're family, shinee and 127 never sold the idea of good family or siblings. They are very open about being colleagues who got together but both these bands have very strong bonds... Super junior always talk about them only doing stuff for the camera but their families go on vacations together. The Siblings of the members are on friendly terms and so are the parents... The boys even live together still (at least eunhyuk and kyuhyun lived together in a flat a few years back)

As for 127 crying, army changes alot of things... Eunhyuk was the most funny member and the member with the most work but after army he hasn't found a permanent gig that's popular. Same with suju being limited to their own fandom. Shinee got a boost of new fans thanks to superm but most have left or prefer being taeminnie fans

Taeyong isn't a singer, he is the visual and the face of 127. He might be worried that fans would be bored and leave the fandom. It's tough waiting for 3 or 4 years for the band to be back together

It took shinee almost 4 years and believe me it was tough although we got so many solo albums in between this army period but the band together is more fun and the reason most ppl are in the fandom.

I get why taeyong cried and I get why doyoung supported him... Also you have to realise not everyone can cope with army. Taemin had to leave in the middle of his service coz of his mental health deteriorating too much. He did his last year as a public service person, it must be tough thinking of the future where you're expected to follow rules and regulations harsher than even idol industry. Btw fans have left fandoms in the army period alot of times... Even if youre in the fandom sometimes you stop following everything and not know half the fandom jokes or fights (me with shinee fandom atm)

I prefer to buy 127 albums instead of shinee ones now, I still don't have physical copies of key solos, And he's my ultimate fav K-pop singer

P.S. as a teacher I can tell you anon that all work places are fake, I also smile and small talk with ppl I won't trust.

Idol industry is normal life but on steroids, all these things happen in real life too, but most times you don't realise it until you're in the job.

A workplace is a place to meet people. Whether those people become friends or not depends on your personal compatibility and events that help you to know each other better. Like when I work in the field I live in the same room with others, we see each other in underwear, cook for each other and go into the night to spend hours in a dark forest. In such conditions people with suitable characters naturally become close quickly (and the opposite happens with difficult people as there is no room to breath, no personal space really). On the other hand, working at a cafe or a store offers very little to help bonding. Everyone is tired, pissed at managers and hate their job.

The anon's reasoning is correct for many idol groups, it doesn't mean it applies to each one of them. Also, I myself think that families are often less close than good friends, that they are kept together by blood, tradition and responsibilities. Thus I find comparing a band to a family very fitting actually. As one can't choose relatives, one can't choose bandmates (in most cases, sometimes older A-list trainees invite their friends into the agency and then debut together).

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protegetapaix · 1 year ago

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4/10/23

1.20pm - morning,i woke up with puffy eyes,ikutkan hati nak duduk rumah nangis je but okaylah kuatkan diri,i deserve this trip. Im sti angry,hurt. I feel like you chose this trip over me by not even coming for me while youre still here. But part of me understands why ypu want it so bad,just that you couldnt understand on my end that,i let you go on the trip,but at that exact moment my emotions took over me my overthinking god. and you didnt came for me,you didnt understood me. im sorry for the hurtful words i said,but on my end i can still be angry,because you didnt came for me,you always do,you promised the lasy fallout we had would be the last where you didnt come for me.In the end i still came for you,i waited hours. I have to shower now bye

2.34pm - i reach jb alr sayang,so funny i uldated the gc i alr at checkpoint and they wtf and insisted to follow,tbh idw them fllw bcs got nad n ipan gf but im like wtv,part of me also thought if they came maybe youd come at night but my bad your bus is the next morning..

2.54pm - baru lepas custom sg now in bus to go jb

3.18pm - baru lepas custom jb now changing money den grab to sogo,our fav place

3.35pm - i reached sogo and bought my contact lenses alr rm500 worth of it wtfwtf hahahahah. I miss you

3.45pm - im at popular now to buy stationaries for my book hehe

4.33pm - idk how long i spent in there but damn i was pretty long your friends all waiting for me alr but idc. I didnt know which colours were nice,if you were here youd probably knew which one suits me right.. but i bought the rare beauty blusher ive always wanted and their lipstick too,i picked a pinkish shade smth i would nvr go for but the pink is quite subtle,cant waitt to show you hehe hopefully.

4.44pm - eventho da lambat.. i bought coffee HAHHAAHHAHA the one we bought at angsana but i bought the spanish latte yumyum

9.19pm - we reached the ikan bakar olace alr,the whole time we always infer about you here and there wishing you were here and allsz mostly me eh,cfm they annoyed sia lowkey but we hoping can come w youu.

Also ipan gf syirah spill sm tea sia.. even about nad…. HAHAHAHAHAHA

11.23pm - ok we at pasar karat now

1.13am - ok we home bebs i bought so much thrift shirt and i even bought for afiya n dania bubble bubblleee gun sehhhh HAHAHAH cant wait to show u,i walk around alone while they see see here there hehe healing siot

1.30am ok now i just at balcony smoking they karaoke all

1.50am im with them kat sofa they singing sad songs for me cb we even recorded a vid for u so u can watch when we go here tht next time. Why never see this airbnb sooner seh cfm fun sia with jusy you got board games ,karaoke projector all ohmyyy cant waitbfor your bday also seh

6/10/23

12.20am - im finally in sg sayang,my heart felt so heavy otw home knowing when i reach home i would break down god i miss you my amsyar

1.11am - i reached home idk what time im sorry for not updating,but i cleaned my thrash all to keep my mind off things,you specifically. Yet i still cried when i did all that.

3.28am - i love how im dking this,helps me cope seh its as though im talking to you but i have so much tea to tell you sia abiiii

11.50am - i in 187 now,i hope you enjoy your day today with your friends,jangan buat bukan2… i had major diarrhea jn damn and i also asked rusyd for off alr.

4.16 - i ended break already,i ate tangled hehehehe ok ttyl

8.48pm- I was smoking when she textsd me ,you broke my fucking heart. My love and trust for you. I ended things off with mama papa for real already,they kept asking convincing my heart couldnt take it in anymore i felt so numb till they just said,sarah sayang amsyar kan ? Sabar lah sikit ,sikit je insyaallah. I just teared and gave my salam and ended. I felt so bad they had so much more to say they kept saying eh eh dengar ni hahahaha,my heart cant.

i hope it was worth it my amsyar :)

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bubbletaeeee · 3 years ago

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Fatally Reunited - Karina x GN!Reader

Requested: Yes! 🥰

Content: Angst, Fluff, Quite Light Smut

Warnings: I don’t think so, Just mentions of light sexual activity

A/N: before you read, I apologise for my absence, I chose to take a break for my mental health, it’s been a little difficult to write recently or find the motivation but I finally got this done for you guys, I hope you enjoy 🥺❤️

Word Count: 4.1K

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

As a child, you were pretty happy and loved. Although it’s not as easy to say that you were a super good kid, because let’s be honest, you could be naughty.

It was all pranks and dares, all with your best friend. That one girl who spent every second with you.

Gosh you were practically like siblings. You got into trouble together, you cried together, you laughed together, you were just together.

Life seemed fun… until it stabbed you in the back!

At the age of 12, you watched your best friend drive away with tears streaming down her face.

Her mum found a new job out in Seoul and it was a huge deal, they’d always struggled a little with money and basic living needs but this offer would change their life. It was a trade between a better standard of living and stability and friendships.

But at the end of the day, it wasn’t jimin’s choice. She simply HAD to go.

Everyday after that didn’t seem so enjoyable anymore, the days were a bore and if we’re being honest, you didn’t want to make many new friends, in fact you had a dream, a goal that kept you going. The loneliness all seemed a blur when your mind was focused on this dream. Your parents both believed it was just a fantasy, being an idol is definitely not an easy thing to be, and it was not easy to even get a chance to become one.

You trained yourself for months, years, literally forever, and you auditioned for all the companies possible, the more you tried, the more chance you would get to be accepted.

It came as a shock to you when SM accepted you, of course you began as a trainee. Starting at 15. And before you knew it, you were 17 and ready to debut with your own group. You and your 6 other members became close friends.

Your music, your songs, your choreography, your performances were all outstanding. Millions looked up to each and every one of you.

The years seemed to go by so fast, and before you knew it, the sad day came when you all had to be disbanded, after 6 years your contract ended, but you weren’t going to let it bring you down.

To think positively you had 6 still close friends and your songs are still loved and listened to and to make things even better, the CEOs at SM recognised your leadership and talents and decided to keep you on a successful journey.

You and 2 of the other former members became soloists, it wasn’t hard to catch the popularity again, because you were so well known after the 6 grateful years you spent with the group. You wrote your own songs and sung them independently, but of course you can’t take all the credit, a few producers helped create the music, design and edit music videos and help out with dance routines.

Right now life felt like a dream come true, and to think it couldn’t get any better, not only did SM keep you for solo music purposes but for much more, you were given a huge responsibility in managing a new group, to act as an older leader to guide them through their musical journey.

You were told that there were 4 girls in need of a manager, Karina, Giselle, Winter and Ningning, each of them being supposedly very talented and unique, their concept is said to be a whole different scene: futuristic, an alternate universe in a virtual reality attempting to connect with the real modern world.

You couldn’t be more excited, they sounded so cool and fun.

So far the girls have determined their roles. You were to visit and introduce yourself to each member but first it was principle to have a first meeting with the group leader, Karina.

Karina… a strong, beautiful name you thought.

It’s around 9:00am and you were waiting in a small meeting room, it was quiet and secluded. A young, pretty woman knocked and entered on command. You both exchanged a friendly smile and sat down opposite one another. The air felt a little tense and awkward, neither of you knew what to say so you attempted to cut the silence with a simple question.

“So, I’d like to assume you’re Karina”

She giggled nervously, looking down at her lap, “uh, yeah that’s me, it’s nice to finally meet you… manager”

Your eyes studied her face for a moment, squinting in order to concentrate.

Isn’t she familiar?

It took a few seconds for the younger girl to avert her eyes to yours when you didn’t reply.

“Uh- is somethi-”

“You look so familiar to me”, you interrupted her, your confusion puzzled her just as much, causing her to tilt her head to the side.

“Is Karina your birth name?”

You thought maybe the two of you had met before but ‘Karina’ didn’t ring any bells in your mind.

“Oh- no, no my real name is Yoo Ji-Min”, she waved her hands in dismissal. Your eyes widened at the name that hit so close to home as your hands slapped against your mouth in disbelief.

“Jimin? Oh my goodness! Don’t you remember me?”, your hands redirecting over your chest as if to specify who you meant.

Jimin’s eyebrows furrowed together like she was searching for recognition in her brain, “umm- I-”

“We were best friends when we were kids, remember? Then you had to move away”, you hung your head in sadness when reminding her and yourself of the last part.

This time she clocked the memory and sprung up in her seat, “y/n?”

You mirrored her actions and laughed in unison.

“You remember now?”, you searched for reassurance, smiling brightly.

“Yes! Yes i remember, oh my god, you look so so different now, really grown up I see”, she smirked jokingly, causing you to roll your eyes and cross your arms.

“It’s nice to see some things didn’t change, your humour is still the same”

The awkwardness left the room, just the two of you left with so much to catch each other up on.

After an hour of frantically talking about everything that had happened within the prolonged period apart from each other, you both left the room laughing and glowing.

Shortly afterwards, you were taken to meet the other three members, although it felt more like Jimin introducing you to them as a friend rather than a manager.

The girls were so kind and respectable, you had a feeling being their manager would be a great experience. Although right now, it’d only just come to your realisation that it’s around 12:00 and even though it still may seem early in the day, you had a lot of work to be getting done. Even though you were now a manager, You still had a solo career to deal with too, I mean, you knew juggling two very important jobs together would be extremely difficult and busy but you’re willing to give it a try.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It’s been half an hour since your introduction with the girls and now you would be found in an empty dance studio practicing away at your soon-to-be solo comeback.

It got extremely tiring after a couple of hours but you had to work through it and keep going.

After the next hour, you took a break and turned to grab your drink, well until you got interrupted by a pair of hands on your shoulders and a voice screaming “boo!” In your ear.

You pretty much jumped out of your skin and spun around abruptly to see a goofy looking Yoo Jimin.

Your shock quickly turned into a warm smile, “heyy, what are you doing here?”

“Can I stay and watch?”, she pouted like a toddler which made you giggle

“You wanna watch me dance?”

She nodded, smiling happily.

You rolled your eyes playfully and let her do so.

After watching you practice just once through the routine, the younger girl got up and mocked your moves along with you, next to you.

You couldn’t help but smile at the scene of your two through the mirror. Her moves were a little off but you took the time to show her properly how to dance each move smoothly, the room was filled with music and laughter.

Somehow the ‘lesson’ ended up with you two tackling eachother to the floor, tickling eachother in competition. It got to a point where she switched your positions and ended up on top of you, pinning your wrists down, “ha! Now I got you!”, she called out childishly.

But for a moment, time felt slow, you forgot everything you were thinking and feeling and just stared at the beautiful girl hovering above you.

Your heart beat felt a little harder, a little faster.

Was she always this adorable?

Soon enough the laughter died down and you were stuck staring eachother in the eyes and becoming… closer?

Her face leant in closer and closer to yours, by now you could feel her breath on your skin.

Before anything could happen you cut the moment in panic, “so! I think we should take a quick break and get back to it!”

She laughed in embarrassment and got off you as fast as she could.

Gosh! You felt so bad about interrupting the moment.

You just panicked, stumbling over to the back of the room where you left your water bottle to take another sip, but with your back turnt, you felt a weight and warmth behind you.

Jimin wrapped her arms around your torso and rested against you, of course you couldn’t help but smile at her affection.

“I’m sorry if I made you feel awkward”, you heard her mumble against you.

The sound of her voice melted your heart and cooed at her adorable apology.

“You didn’t make me feel awkward at all, don’t worry about it jiminie”, you spoke in a low, warm tone and turned in her arms to give her a proper hug.

“You know, it feels like we’d never been apart, I’m still so comfortable with you”, you admitted, still holding onto her.

Even though you couldn’t see, her cheeks were as red as a rose at your remark.

“Me too”, the shy girl whispered.

Instead of practicing some more, you decided to call it a day and walked eachother out.

She hugged you goodbye and left to have lunch with her members.

You watched as she walked away, replaying the moment over and over again in your head. Thinking about what would have happened if you didn’t prevent it.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Skipping ahead to tomorrow, you woke up to get ready for the day and check your schedule.

Today you were planned to take up some studio time and spend some time training with aespa, figuring out debut plans and assessments.

First things first: Studio Time

9:00am

You’d turned up at an empty studio that you reserved for yourself for the morning.

You took these next couple of hours to put in some hard work on your new album.

These new songs, in your opinion, were something to be proud of. You’ve never been super confident about all of your songs but at the end of the day you were proud of the effort and time you put into it and seeing your fans complimenting you so much boosted your self esteem.

At around 11:30, you showed up in the dance studio you knew the four girls would be in.

As soon as your presence entered the room, all four of the members rushed in front of you for a hug each to greet you.

Every one of the Aespa members are just so cute and sweet that the stress of all the business felt worth it when you get to see them succeed in the end knowing that it was you that guided them. Although, up until now you’d never exactly heard any of them sing or seen any of them dance so today you planned an introductory assessment to get an idea of what you would be working with.

You found a chair and sat at the back of the room, leaving them space to show off their talents in front of you.

The music began playing and every one of them sang and danced neatly. There were a couple of minor faults in the dance routine where a couple of moves were slightly off beat but that could easily be worked on.

A slower part came up and Karina was favoured to take up the verse. She sang softly but passionately, staring you directly in the eyes as she did so.

Your heart pounded a little harder against your chest and a small grin naturally plastered on your lips, she took the chance to wink at you before turning back to join the other girls in the sequence and sing along to the chorus.

You were in shock once they’d finished.

Their vocals were beautiful and perfect and the way their voices synced together in a perfect tone, and their dance moves were pretty much perfect, smooth and correctly paced.

It was adorable how proud of themselves they looked and rightly so. They’re brilliant.

You clapped supportively and sat in shock, the only words formed were, “wow…”

Giselle, Ningning and Winter all giggled nervously and hid their faces whilst their leader approached you slowly, now standing directly in front of you.

“What did you think?”, she smirked.

You sent her a proud smile and complimented, “it was perfect, you’re all beautifully talented and… I can’t wait to work with you girls”

They all squealed in return, including Karina who turned back to the others. Your time was well spent discussing ideas for a debut song and their weaknesses and strengths up until 13:00, everyone complained about feeling hungry so you allowed them to dismiss themself to get lunch.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Over the next couple of weeks you helped the four girls through choreography and creating a killer debut

So far the music was only a rough draft but you had an idea of what to do with it. The lyrics were written out by the production team with large contribution from Aespa

Today, you’re practicing the new choreography with them. All this busy work had tired the girls pretty fast because they weren’t used to it yet but you’re trying your best to encourage and build up their confidence and strength.

Right now it was late and you were finishing up the last round of practice, going over the choreography once more. Giselle, Winter and Ningning bid you goodbye and thanked you before leaving to go to their dorms. You turned to find Karina staring sharply at herself in the mirror while she continued to practice. There was just one part of the choreography she couldn’t get just right yet, and that was okay because she could surely work on it with a little bit of time but the girl was too stubborn to wait and let herself rest. A tired smile formed on your lips watching her pushing herself further, her persistence was admirable but you didn’t want her to get overtired and stressed.

Her moves froze when she felt your hands massage lightly into her shoulders and her head hung low, almost shameful.

“Don’t push yourself too much, you’ll make yourself tired and upset, don’t worry about this right now. Just go and rest” but Karina wasn’t going to go that easily, she was stubborn, and always wanted things to be perfect.

“Just a few more minutes”, she pouted.

You stared at her in the mirror and rolled your eyes, “fine JUST a few more minutes and that’s it, I’ll teach you”

Her pout quickly turned into a smile as you walked over to your phone connected to the speakers and pressed play before rushing back to her side and showing her the moves slowly whilst instructing clearly.

“Okay, got it? Let’s try together”

She nodded and stood to your right, slightly in front of you.

“Okay, 1, 2, 3, 4 Go”

You went over the same routine at a normal pace with her copying you through the mirror.

She was almost there, it was just the one move she couldn’t perfect.

“Right, I see the issue, you just need to loosen your hips a little more and sway with the beat”

And that’s when you came up directly behind her and cautiously placed your hands on her waist, worried that she may feel uncomfortable.

“Uh. Is this okay?”

She nodded and sent you a soft smile.

“Okay, sway for me”

She did as she was told and rolled her hips side to side whilst you guided her with your hands to make her moves smoother. You got caught up staring down at your hands on her waist that you forgot you were trying to teach her, hoping that she didn’t realise anything you cleared your throat and praised her, “that’s really good, keep doing that when I let go”

You slowly slid your hands away from her waist and observed her up and down, when she noticed the movement of your eyes through the mirror, a smirk wandered to her lips.

Unexpectedly, the younger girl pushed herself back a little more, closer to you whilst still rocking her hips side to side.

You froze and your eyes widened as she became increasingly closer, her pace slowed when your bodies were almost pressed together.

You were close enough to whisper, “what are you doing?”

Karina turned around to face you and wrapped her arms around your neck to pull you in for a soft hug.

You let your arms fall to her waist and hid your face into her shoulder. Her right hand rested on the back of your head, massaging you lovingly.

Eventually the girl pulled back slowly with her hand still at the back of your head and the other leant onto your left shoulder.

Your eyes made contact and once you saw the sparkling, hypnotising look in her dark eyes you panicked a little and looked down as fast as possible, your heart fluttered and stomach was filled with butterflies.

What is even happening right now?

She could sense your nerves and bought her left hand away to lift your chin up, once again being met with her gorgeous brown eyes. She sent you a comforting smile and leaned in slowly. Once her lips were hovering just over yours, your foreheads leant against eachother, your breaths fanning against your lips.

Her eyes closed and your lips brushed against eachother. You froze for a moment until you came to your senses and let yourself kiss her back, she took that as confirmation to be able to kiss you more.

Your lips parted from eachother to breathe, giving the smaller girl a chance to take a step closer so that her entire body was lightly pressed against yours.

And with that, your lips made contact again for a slow, passionate kiss.

It felt so right and so wrong at the same time, your thoughts began to overtake everything else, causing you to pull away and jump backwards leaving Karina flustered and confused.

“I-I’m sorry, I can’t do this, it’s not right”

You knew you wanted it. It felt like fate that brought the two of you back together again. There was no lie in saying that you had a connection, you were always comfortable with eachother and there was never a secret hidden, you would be blind not to see the spark between you both but being her manager you were worried about it being a problem or when fans might notice and start to go crazy about it, it could cause some problems, usually idols are banned from dating for a while. So all these issues felt like a barrier between the two of you.

The theories and thoughts filled your mind and a tear slipped from your eye as you let out quiet sobs.

The sight broke her heart and she immediately rushed over to you and pulled you in for a hug, hushing you gently,

“Hey, don’t worry, everything will be okay. Talk to me, what’s going on? Hmm?”

You pulled back and let her brush your tears away from your cheeks.

“I’m just- I’m worried, if something happens with us-“, you gestured between you both to emphasise your idea, “- then we could lose all of this success and opportunity and what if- t-there are fans that can’t accept us and cause trouble, I don’t want to risk anything”

Her hands cupped both of your cheeks and she sternly looked you in the eyes.

“Listen to me my love, everything will be okay, I like you, and I know that you can’t lie to me, you feel the same, so don’t let it go… no one else needs to know, at least for now. Follow your heart”, and with that she kissed both of your cheeks.

Her words calmed you down, at least enough to stop you crying.

She whispered to you, “I care about you so much, let me give you my heart”

You stared into her eyes, letting yourself fall into her arms.

You buried your face into her neck and wrapped your arms around her to hold her as tight as possible.

“I do like you… you’re right”

She put on a hopeful smile and kissed the side of your head.

You found yourself gaining some confidence.

Enough to press your lips against her neck to leave a sweet kiss, and another one… one more.

She giggled at your affection, “look at me, let me see that smile”, she demanded kindly.

You pulled your head away to look her in the eyes with a small grin.

You held her hands and spoke up, “I guess we could try, as long as we’re careful, I don’t want anyone to get hurt or in trouble, okay?”

The bright smile on her face was hard to miss and her excitement got the best of her as she leapt up to kiss your lips again.

“I understand y/n-ssi”, she agreed with a lower tone, dipping her head to the crook of your neck to leave a light trail of kisses from your jaw to your collarbone.

Her lips found their way to your ear to leave you with words that made you quietly moan, “I’m crazy about you, so let me prove it to you… darling”

You held on tight to her hips and pulled her into you as hard as possible, bringing your lips to meet with hers once more, the kiss led to a long makeout session, all that could be heard were innocent whimpers and quiet moans.

You pulled apart to breathe finally.

“Come to my dorm, let us finish this there”, she suggested between breaths.

You nodded willingly and followed her to her dorm.

The rest of the evening was blissful and euphoric.

Her touches were so gentle, her kisses so delicate you wish you could stay in her embrace forever.

By the time the evening was over you’d both ended up fast asleep in each others arms until you were awoken hours later at 7:00am by Karina’s alarm.

You groaned and stirred away from your slumber.

She stopped the blaring noise as fast as possible and sat up to rub her eyes only for you to wrap an arm around her to pull her back down to the mattress with you.

Your head purposely laying on her chest to prevent her from going anywhere.

“Sweetie, we need to move at some point you know, we got work to do”, she laughed whilst playing with your hair.

“Nooo”, you whined tiredly and drifted back to sleep.

“You know, even when we were just kids I knew I liked you, I would sometimes get a little nervous around you and I always wanted to impress you, I couldn’t understand the way I felt until now, we’ve both grown up but I didn’t expect my feelings to grow back after so many years apart, i'm just so happy you’re back in my life now, I need you, and I want us stay with eachother, there’s no way i'm letting us split apart again”, she confessed sleepily.

You opened your eyes slowly and hovered above her, “you always liked me?”

She nodded shyly and blushed a little, but of course you noticed and kissed her cheeks along with her forehead.

“It’s okay, I think I always knew I needed you, and yes we spent time apart but I’ve got you now. I'm not planning on letting you go anytime soon”

Your reassurance warmed her heart and gave her a sense of relief she didn’t know she needed.

Your head laid back onto her chest whilst a love struck smile plastered onto her face.

“Thank you”

Her voice was just a small whisper but you could hear perfectly, along with the constant rhythm of her heartbeat.

#kpop #kpop girls #fanfic #kpop imagines #fluff #smut #angst #aespa #aespa kpop #aespa x reader #aespa karina #yoo jimin x reader #yoo jimin #light smut #aespa fluff #aespa angst #gn!reader #apologies for the long wait

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glitchinginhyperfixis · 2 years ago

Note

Sending u genderfluid mike hcs (a lot are platonic madwheeler bc I care them):

The first person she comes out to is surprisingly Max. Her reasoning for this is “You already hate me so this will probably hurt less” and Max is just like “I never hated you, you big dummy” and they have a Moment

(I also hc them giving the other gender envy and that’s why they clashed sm at first)

Gender presentation is always weird for him bc yk,, the 80s™️ BUT. Loves finding little ways to make himself feel more like Mike and not like boy mike yk? Like he lets erica paint his nails one day with clear polish and wears less polos etc etc

One of these ways is going to Max’s bc home girl knows how to do hair okay. She learned to braid for El when her hair was getting longer and kept practicing on Lucas before the breakup so she is experienced. Anyways Mikes favorite is when he had two braids on the side that tie into a little ponytail. It makes him feel like he has a crown lol

Has scream cried during clothes shopping w her mom and pretends like nothing happened. When she eventually comes out to Karen they have a long talk that ends in Karen cradling Mike and promising for things to change

Lucas and Dustin were so supportive when they came out!!! Like when initially told they were so chill and like “that’s wassup” but in the leading weeks they were going above and beyond to make mike feel more comfortable. At the end of the week Lucas threw a coming out party and made a little sign, Dustin and Erica made a cake!!

Speaking of Erica her and Mike will literally be in the isle of a fight but still doing sleepover activities. Like one time Lucas came downstairs to see them going back and forth while making friendship bracelets (not necessarily genderfluid mike but they mean sm 2 me)

While doing Mikes hair he and Max will exchange music taste and Max will give him California Knowledge (wink wink gay ppl)

Bc she’s trying to express herself more or whatever, Mike ends up dressing like if Eddie was in love with collared shirts and Max will call her a poser all the fucking time

Joins drama in sophomore year because it makes them feel so much more comfortable, playing a character on stage is more fun than playing one every day yk

1. yes. i love the idea that max would be the first one mike would come out to. it honestly makes a lot of sense. and i would love a sweet moment like that. (and that gender envy hc!! YES)

2. YESSS. i’ve never thought much about it, but i kind of want mike and erica to bond. erica would roast him but in a... nice way? and i’ve seen a lot of hc’s about nail polish, but this one makes the most sense realistically, since i don’t think mike would reach the stage of being able to wear other colors for a while.

3. the braiding hc!!!! ily. mike in braids is just a great concept on its own, but you also added max into it, and i love that.

4. yes. just yes. i imagine karen saying something about mike being her son, and mike just breaking down and telling her that she’s not. at least, not always.

5. they would. i can imagine dustin and lucas asking questions so they could make mike more comfortable, but never prying too much. they just want to know how to mike feel safe in their own skin.

6. you. you have converted me. i’m now a mike and erica are best friends truther. and they have zero content. i’m screwed. (but seriously, i love this. this friendship is so cute).

7. yes.

8. these hc’s are incredible.

9. ok. stop right there. you’re making me sad now.

10. adding onto this, i’d love mike coming out to nancy and being surprised when she’s supportive. she’s a little confused and does mess up sometimes, but she tries her best to be there for mike. and that surprises them because they haven’t felt close to nancy in a really long time. what mike doesn’t know is that her assuming nancy was going to be angry at her was the wake-up call nancy needed to start being a big sister again.

#this is incredible!!#i’m in love with these #i’m proposing rn.#genderfluid mike wheeler #mike wheeler #platonic madwheeler #ERICA AND MIKE NEED A FRIENDSHIP NAME #i need more of them now #wheeler family #ask collection

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unloved-cadillac · 4 years ago

Note

hi!! i love your works sm!! they always make my heart flutter and it helps me get through these past few weeks without breaking down so thank you for your service <3 *salutes*

may I request levi with his SO (who just got over her 4 years of bisexual relationship then realized they became toxic af and just wanted to do nothing with that person anymore) and levi being patient with her + being a man of his words (because she never experienced it with her ex) and fluff prompts #2 and #8 if it's okay 🤗

love u!!! - ⚙️

C/n: *salutes back with tears in my eyes* I’m so sorry that you have breakdowns. I hate it so much but I’m honored that I have been helping you in coping with anything. Love you, take care of yourself, thanks for requesting and I hope that you enjoy🤍

𝖶𝗈𝗋𝖽 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗍: 2.4𝗄

———————————————————————

I Wouldn’t Leave.(Levi x Reader)

TW: toxic relationship.

“Mia, come with me to watch the stars!”

“To watch the stars? What are you, five? Grow up Y/n. Seriously.”

“Mia I think I’m getting pretty good at this what do you think?”

“Your stance is shit and you would move faster if you weren’t that big. Lose some weight, yeah?”

“I love you Mia.”

“Whatever Y/n.”

This was how it was. You and Mia were dating for almost four years now. In the beginning, everything was perfect. Mia would steal kisses from you and make you smile. She would stick by you throughout the days and would sneak into your bed at night to cuddle. But that only lasted for the first year. After that, you two slowly drifted apart. You didn’t even know what had happened. One day, she’s the best thing that has ever happened to you and the next she’s bad-mouthing you to everyone. Although this happened, you didn’t leave her. Rather, you didn’t want to.

There was so much going on in this godforsaken world and to have someone there to lean on was rare. So letting go of Mia wasn’t the best of decisions right now.

But, would she even care if you died out there? If a Titan suddenly crushed you in front of her eyes? Would she even shed a tear to show her sorrow for the girl that stood by her for years?

“Mia?” You called her. She didn’t even hear you despite sitting next to you. So you tapped her shoulder and called her again. “Mia?” “What do you want?!” Mia yelled, shocking you. “Uhm, I just wanted to ask if you’re going to train with me tomorrow?” You ask and she scoffs. “Why would I train with you? I have others who could actually keep up with me. So no. I won’t be training with you.” She finishes and turns away from you. You nod to yourself and wake up to go to your room.

Levi noticed how badly Mia treated you. Everyone knew you two were together since your cadet days. You mentioned in a conversation to Eren that you were bisexual but it didn’t bother Levi. You loved who you loved but now, he doubts that you loved Mia. Maybe you did back then but that love wasn’t meant to last long. Levi hated seeing you sad or upset. He developed a little crush on you but he buried those feelings deep down because, well, you were taken.

He woke up and followed you out of the Mess Hall. You walked up to your room door but stopped. Suddenly, you ran away. Levi’s eyes widened and ran to you. You ran right up the stairs to the roof and slammed opened the door. Levi stopped running and walked quietly behind you. You couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. They fell to the floor and the cool air blew against your face making you shiver. You sat on the ledge and put your knees up to your chest and cried.

Levi stood by the door and watched you. This was your spot too, huh? He used to come here when he had the time to unwind. Levi heard your sobs all the way there and walked to you. He didn’t want to startle you so he made his presence known by clearing his throat. You gasped and looked up at Levi. Your current state could make him break down.

“C-Captain Levi? What are you doing here?” You ask in between hiccups. He turns and leans his back against the ledge. “I followed you here.” He says bluntly and your eyes widen. “Listen. I know it’s none of my business. Hell, you’re probably gonna slap me if I say this but I feel like you should know,” he begins and you face him while wiping your tears. “Your girlfriend is a bitch. She doesn’t deserve you. I see the way you look at her like she’s your everything and I see her looking at you like dirt. Mia might be the one you felt could love you the way you love her but it isn’t true. I respect you as a soldier and as a person so you needed to know. One day, you’re going to wake up and realize that there’s more to life than shitty people treating you like shit and you need to stand up for yourself.” Levi continues and faces you. Your eyes were red and tears flowed heavier than before. He was right. You didn’t deserve this shit. But hearing it come from another person, a captain nonetheless, meant that it was time for you to let go.

“There’s someone out there who could love you better.” He says quietly and you turn around and face the same way he was. You wiped your tears and looked back at his side-profile. Now that you think about it, Levi had always had an eye out for you. During training he’d always help out and expeditions would always check on you. But you always ran to Mia whenever you could, leaving him.

“I, I don’t know what to do. Should I break up with her?” You ask and he looks up at the sky then you. “You do what you feel is the right thing to do. I just wanted to let you know that you don’t deserve to be treated like that.” Levi explains and turns to walk away. “Levi?” You call and he turns to face you. “Hm?” You look up at him and smile through your tears. “Thank you.” He nods and turns and walks away with his heart beating through his chest.

~~~~

“What the fuck do you mean, Y/n?! We can’t break up!” Mia yells, catching the attention of the people around the pair of you. You flinch at her telling but you stand your ground and look back at her. “I’m tired of your bullshit, Mia. And I can’t believe that it took me this long to realize that you never loved me the way that I loved you. So it’s only fair for us to break up.” You say and Mia closes her fists. “You bitch. You’ll never make it without me.” She spits out and you chuckle. “I’ll be fine. Goodbye Mia.” You smile at her and walk away, leaving her shunned. You start walking to the stables and walk past Levi who caught your eye. You smiled and waved at him while he gave you a curt nod. You go to your horse when you hear footsteps approaching you. “You heard everything, didn’t you?” You ask and Levi scoffs. “With her big mouth of course.” You chuckle at his bluntness and face him. Your eyes were still swollen but you looked...happier. He liked seeing you happy.

“Thanks for yesterday, Levi. I needed the push.” You say and he waves you off. “Don’t mention it. You’re a good soldier. Don’t let people like her put you down.” Levi says and walks away leaving you smiling the whole day.

~~~~

The following days, Levi saw you become a whole new person. You became a social butterfly. Smiling more, laughing, cracking jokes. The way you were acting no one would ever think you just came out of a 4 year relationship. Levi’s heart would sometimes skip a beat when you looked his way. Your eye bags started to disappear and you looked so much healthier. You peaked in training and left Mia in the dust. He saw that she would sometimes try to talk to you but you just ignored her. Karma^

You and Levi had started to interact more and more and you felt so much happier. Levi had made it a point to come to his office to help with paperwork but in reality it was just to spend more time together.

Although it’s been three months since your break up, you could feel yourself falling for Levi. And it scared you. The little gestures you both would do for each other and the stealing glances made you have butterflies.

It was scary, this feeling. Not even Mia made you feel like this. You started to avoid him, little by little. You Knew that if you gave into your true feelings for him, it wasn’t going to end well. The fear showed on your face whenever you were with him and Levi took notice of the change in your behavior and called you to his office one night.

“Name and business.” His deep, monotonous voice called out. “Y/n L/n. You called for me?” You say and the door opens revealing Levi. He gestures for you to enter and you walk into his office, anxious. You heard the door close and Levi’s footsteps. “Sit. Would you like some tea?” He asks and you shake your head as you sit down. He furrows his eyebrows in slight confusion but brushes it off. You always liked his tea so it was confusing why you would reject the offer. Levi sat in his chair and looked at you. You seemed...uncomfortable. “Y/n?” He called out to you and you looked back up at him. “Yes?”

“Do you know that saying “beating around the bush”?” He asks and you nod. “Yes.” “I guess it’s time for us to stop doing that with our feelings for each other.” Your breath hitches and it seemed like time stopped when he said that. You just wanted to leap into his arms and plant your lips on his but it was too soon.

“I agree, Levi, but I don’t know if it’s time yet. Even though Mia was a horrible person to me, she was my first love and it still hurts letting her go. So maybe, if you find it okay, can we wait? Just for a little more. Until I know for sure.” You explain softly as Levi listens intently. The silence settles around the room and you exhale a breath. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. You wake up and turn to leave. “I’m sorry. I should-...” “No.” Levi says and holds your arm, turning you around.

He brings you closer and cups your cheek. He ghosts his lips over your forehead then plants a soft kiss on it. He pulled away and looked at you. “I’ll wait forever if that was what it takes. There’s no rush,” he takes your hand and places it over his heart, “it’s yours. I’m yours. Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be here.” He assures you and you wrap your arms around his neck. “Thank you, Levi.”

~~~~

Couple of months passed by and Levi gave you the time and space for you to get yourself together. Healing. He would wait for you. Even if it wasn’t in his favor, he still wanted you to find happiness. You deserved it and everything more.

Now you were on the training grounds, sparring with Annie. You improved quite a lot but Annie caught you and threw you down. “Ah, shit.” You pant out and Annie holds out her hand for you. “You’re getting better, L/n. Almost got me there.” She says and pulls you up. “Almost.” You smile and look around where your eyes landed on the captain. He was watching you with a glare, that other people would find terrifying, but you found it reassuring. You flashed a quick smile to him and went back to training.

That night you made your way to his office. He didn’t call you, nor was he expecting you. But you wanted to see him. So you knocked on his door which was quickly opened by the captain. “Y/n? What’s wrong?” He asks and you take a moment to look at him. Unbuttoned shirt, black pants with his feet bare. Looks like he just came out of a shower. “Does something need to be wrong for me to see you?” You ask and he shakes his head with a soft smile. “No. Come in.” He says and moves out of the way for you to enter. He shuts the door behind you and you face him. He was a few meters away and you took in a shaky breath. “Levi. I, uh, I’ve been thinking. For the past couple of months, I’ve realized that it was time to move on. I couldn’t stop thinking about you and about..us. I want you, Levi. I think I have for a while but I wasn't sure if it was true. But I know now that you’re the one who had my heart all this time. So, if you still want me, I’m here.” You say smiling and looking at the ground.

You see his feet in front of yours and you look up to see him. He had a smile of his own plastered on his face. “It’s about time, brat.” He whispers and kisses you softly. You melt into his kiss as his arms move around your waist and yours around his neck. This feeling. This moment. It was like all of your senses came to life and the joy you never knew you had blossomed.

When you both pulled away, Levi took you to his bedroom and laid you down on his bed. He crawled over you and planted kisses all over your face and neck. You giggled which in turn made him chuckle. He looked up at your flushed face as you cupped his face. “May I?” He asks softly as he brushes his nose against yours as his hands started to roam. “Of course. I’m yours.” And the night became the night you felt alive after all these years.

~~~~

The morning sun shines through the bedroom window and brightens up the room. You groan and move away from the light and roll over to the other side bumping into Levi’s chest. You smile to yourself and cuddle into him further. “You’re very lazy.” Levi says and you chuckle. “It’s too early. Plus we’re off today so shut up.” You groggily say and he scoffs and pulls you up and holds you. You slowly open your eyes and look at Levi who was already staring. “Hi.” “Hey.” You two stay like that for a few minutes but then Levi moves your hair away from your face and rubs his thumb over your cheekbone. “Never would I have thought that your eyes would be the ones that I want to stare at forever.” He whispers to you and you smile and hug him. He wraps his arms around your bare waist and holds you tighter. “I love you Levi.” You whisper with a few tears falling. He rubs your head and closes his eyes. “I love you too, Y/n. And just so you know,” he says and pulls away to look at you. He wipes your tears away and continues:

“I wouldn’t leave.”

———————————————————————

“You deserve everything good in this world.”

🖤🤍Thanks for reading🤍🖤

-Caddy.

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astranva · 4 years ago

Text

Heather.

Word Count: 2k

Category: Angst

Warning: Language? idk

Request: pls write an angst based on Heather by Conan gray i love ur writings sm

Summary: In which Harry is the Heather of his own story.

this won’t have a second part, let’s keep it sad 💀

thanks for requesting, anon! hope you like it and thank you sm🤍

// masterlist //

You were there for as long as Harry could remember, and that was so many years.

He was convinced that many scriptwriters and directors heard of your friendship’s story and that was how most rom-coms were made.

But the rom-coms had something that Harry was yet to have – the happy ending he kept wishing for.

It wasn’t your fault, really. Sure, you were a little oblivious but it was also a little unfair saying that was the only reason why Harry hadn’t gotten his happy ending because he knew that at the end of the day, it was him not making a move and admitting his feelings for you throughout all these years.

Harry remembered how for his 16th birthday, you had saved up to get him and yourself tickets to see Coldplay live.

He remembered how you cried as you hugged him after his X Factor audition as you all stood backstage.

He remembered how excited he was when he first introduced you to the rest of the boys when they were put in a band. Hell, you slept over with them at Robin’s for a couple of days.

He remembered how you flew out for the weekend when Zayn had left the band, knowing that Harry needed your presence.

He remembered how you were the first person he went to when he decided to make a debut solo record.

He remembered waking up to your singing in Jamaica, munching on honey toast as your face would light up the moment he came to view – “Good morning, H! I squeezed some fresh oranges for you.”

He also remembered how his face would heat up when he was just a kid whenever his family would mention that you and him were bound to end up together.

He remembered how his first heartbreak wasn’t from a relationship of his own, but it was when you got into one at 16. He hated it.

He remembered helping you with your dates, reacting to how you thought a new crush was, holding you as you cried.

Harry remembered how despite being in love with you since he was a teenager, he didn’t take a step towards having you more than a best friend.

And God, his journals were proof of that love; the love songs, all those ones about unrequited love, the short poems he wrote in the dead of the night.

He had cringed when he told you that he was seeing someone, only to have you become excited and genuinely happy for him.

If you could do it, why couldn’t he?

He was staying over at yours, a normal occurrence for when he was home. He could’ve as well just sold his house at that point.

“Have anything I can wear? This isn’t too comfortable.” He had asked you as the both of you lounged, watching a stand-up comedy.

“Yeah, just choose whatever you want.” You nonchalantly said, not caring if he went through your clothes – not like this was anything but normal for the both of you.

“Too lazy to move.” He mumbled, looking up at you from where he was; his head resting on your lap as you played with his hair.

The smile that came to your face was one Harry mirrored without knowing, staring at you as you continued to watch the show. “I’m not moving.” You stated.

He groaned, standing up, “Will you still play with my hair when I come back?”

At that, your eyes moved to him, “Yes, you baby.”

That was all the assurance he needed before he walked to your room and opened your wardrobe, going through your clothes without messing anything up; you liked your clothes neatly folded at all times.

Reaching one lilac sweater, Harry took it out before holding it over his upper body, finding that it would probably perfectly fit.

Taking off his own top and putting on yours, Harry’s breath instantly hitched in his throat, stomach tied up in knots.

It smelled like you.

It smelled like fresh vanilla detergent and the coconut scent he adored so much.

Running his hand slowly across his body, Harry turned to look at the mirror, eyes falling on the item that screamed your name louder than the beaded necklace you had made him months ago that decorated his neck – “Golden, because that’s what I think you are” you had said.

He gulped, fingertips grazing the material.

“Harry! You’re missing all the good bits!”

“Coming!” He shouted back, hoping you didn’t catch the crack in his voice.

After one final look, Harry had walked back to you, placing his head on your lap.

“Good choice.” You had commented softly.

“Yeah?” Harry almost whispered, “Feels comfortable. What material is that?”

“Just polyester,” you shrugged, “Hate how it looks better on you though.” You had joked, giving him a gentle tug to his hair.

Harry had giggled, closing his eyes as you scratched his scalp softly, “Thanks.”

After that day, it was like Harry claimed the sweater. He’d beeline to it the moment he stepped a foot in your house, frowning at you on some days when you told him that it was getting washed.

Days turned to weeks, and before Harry could do as much as blink, you were back from your work with a smile brighter than usual.

He was sitting on your couch that day, in the lilac sweater, a smile drawn to his face as soon as his saw yours, pausing the music that was playing from his laptop. “You look happy.”

And you were, because you had given his cheek a soundly smooch of greeting, unaware of Harry’s cheeks reddening.

You hummed with a nod, “I have a date tonight with, quite possibly, the cutest person I have ever met.”

He wasn’t expecting that.

Harry was not expecting that.

His smile faltered, only staring at you.

“They’re just,” you sighed, staring at the ceiling with a hand to your heart, “A dream, you know? Hey, wait! You know them!”

“I do?”

“Yeah,” you nodded eagerly, “Chelsea introduced them when we went to that pub 2 weeks ago, remember? Charlie?”

“Oh.”

And he did. He remembered how pretty Charlie was, how they seemed to keep conversations going and made sure everyone was listened to, how Charlie’s style stood out in the pub, how their jokes made everyone laugh – including him. He remembered how Charlie’s eyes lingered on you when you talked, how the both of you seemed dived into a conversation of common interests. He hated it.

Charlie really was a dream. Yeah, he hated that, too.

Harry had helped you decide on an outfit, his chest feeling as if it clenched around his heart to a point where his cage would combust.

He helped you with your hair, spraying the back of it for you because you had always complained about not reaching that part well.

Fuck, he even painted your nails that night – they were in lilac.

And he was there when Charlie picked you up, a genuine smile on their face that looked nothing like the petty one he wore.

“Do you need us to bring you anything, mate? We’re having Italian.” Charlie had offered.

Why did Charlie have to be kind and polite? What happened to the assholes they portrayed in rom-coms?

“No, thanks, Y/N made me lasagna earlier.” Harry had chuckled, watching you smile at the interaction.

“Go to sleep by 9, Mr.” You had joked as you left, Charlie’s hand on your back.

“You know it.” Harry had mumbled with a weak smile, giving you a nod.

By 7, Harry was almost sure he yanked all his hair out, despite the mirrors assuring him that he didn’t.

By 8, he tried to eat, but the nauseous feeling that ran through his body at the thought of you with someone else made him put the casserole back in the fridge.

By 9, Harry had called Mitch to break the news of your newest date, only to hang up so soon when Mitch was beginning to tell him how he still might have a chance.

By 10, he wrote a song. One full song.

By 11, he had the tune for it.

By 12, Harry watched you kiss someone who wasn’t him and he had no one to blame.

“How was it?” He managed to utter, watching you stand against the door with the widest smile.

“Perfect.”

That was the beginning of everything but what Harry wished upon a constellation for, because by the second month of you seeing Charlie, you had made it official.

Charlie was perfect in all aspects; hell, even Gemma liked them when she met them as the 4 of you had brunch one day.

But then Charlie was around your house more that Harry just wasn’t that comfortable to sleep over anymore.

He remembered how the three of you were watching a movie one night, Charlie having been wanting to get to know Harry more since he was “someone Y/N talks about and loves so much” – Charlie said that with no drop of pettiness, Harry wondered how they did it – when Harry just couldn’t take any more of you cuddling someone who wasn’t him and before you and Charlie could process it, Harry was out with an empty excuse – “I forgot my guitar at Mitch’s.”

His guitar was resting against the very couch he was sitting on.

But nothing prepared him for that one moment.

Charlie had invited him for the barbecue party they were hosting and if it weren’t for your puppy eyes, Harry would’ve been sulking in the comfort of his house and not in his car while he was on the way to oh-so-perfect Charlie’s.

He heard Lizzo playing the moment he got out of his car, and it was how he knew that it was your playlist playing.

He had brought cake with him, walking cautiously with the boxed dessert in his hands.

The door was opened, a few smiling people passing by him before he was met with yours, only as always, your face lit up once you saw him.

“You’re here!” You didn’t care that he was holding anything in his hands that restrained him from hugging you back because you threw your arms around him, leaving a kiss to his cheek, “Everyone’s been asking for you. Something about how it was weird seeing me without you.” You giggled.

“Partners in crime, eh?” He smiled at you, referring to the phrase you have been using with one another since school.

“You bet,” you wiggled your eyebrows, “Oh, shoot, sorry, didn’t notice you had this. Um, come, let’s put it in the kitchen.”

You were comfortable in Charlie’s house, Harry noticed. It was no surprise; he would’ve been more worried if you weren’t seen as you had been together for 6 months.

Placing the cake in the fridge, you and Harry then walked to where everyone was.

And that was when he saw it.

Charlie lied on a lounge chair, laughing and looking all attractive, in the very lilac, polyester sweater Harry had found comfort in.

He watched as you walked over, Charlie instantly putting a hand to your waist as they smiled up at you before you leaned down, pressing your lips against one another.

“Act natural, would you?” He heard Chelsea’s, a mutual friend, voice beside him.

“What?”

“If you can’t be happy for Y/N, try to act natural around them,” Chelsea sighed, her heart breaking for her friend as she looked at Harry who was yet to move his eyes from the couple, “Charlie’s great, you know?”

“Yeah,” he gave her a dry chuckle, “Yeah, I know.”

“Then why aren’t you happy that at least they’re not an asshole?”

“Just,” Harry looked at his friend, a defeated look on his face before the sound of you squealing gleefully grabbed his attention, watching as Charlie had their arms wrapped around you from behind, the both of you laughing as your friends all smiled in awe, “Just wish I were Charlie.”

#harry styles imagine #harry styles #harry styles angst #harry styles angst imagine #heather #harry styles angst one shot #harry styles one shot #bestfriend!harry

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moonlit-imagines · 5 years ago

Text

Headcanons for Dating Bucky Barnes

Bucky Barnes x reader

warnings:

a/n:

prompt: anonymous: “Headcanons for dating Bucky Barnes?”

you met bucky in 2014

at the smithsonian museum, actually

you stood beside him while reading the plaques of information

“so this is how it all started?”

*confused and disoriented bucky* “huh?”

“superheroes. well, ‘enhanced individuals,’ i guess. but each of the commandos were heroes on their own...”

that comment made bucky smile, he needed to hear that

you two wandered around the exhibit for a while, crossing paths a few more times

as you left, he opened the door for you and you got a peek of his face in brighter light, it looked familiar

“no way”

“i hope you’re not scared...”

“you don’t seem that threatening to me”

oddly enough, the two of you clicked

bucky was on the run, he told you at up front

but he stuck around for a few days, being so honest you would have thought he was on his death bed

his stories, at least the ones he remembered, they were upsetting to the both of you, but you could tell that wasnt him anymore

there wasn’t much for you in washington, anyways

so you ran with him, something he didn’t understand at first

“what do you see in me?”

“a man who deserves another chance”

you always knew how to cheer him up

even on the most challenging days

you and bucky travelled the world before finding a place bucky was comfortable living in

but your journey was a learning experience

bucky grew to trust you with every passing day

there were a handful of motel stays, some worse than others

“oh, god, there’s a rat in the shower!”

“i’ll handle it”

“‘handle it????????’”

you didn’t want to know anymore

you just hid underneath your pillow and waited to be able to shower

bucky was always the big spoon

he just wanted to keep you safe

that worried him the most

he thought he’d get you into some kind of mess

you cant count the amout of times he’d apologize and try to tell you that you shouldn’t be with him

and every time, you’d set your hands on his face, tracing his stubble with your thumbs and say:

“i chose to be with you, and i’m choosing to stay with you”

his metal arm was very intriguing to you

at first, you were worried he was sensitive about it, but one day he was shirtless on the bed and turned to you

“are you scared of me?”

“why would i be scared of you?”

“...does my arm make you uncomfortable?”

“uh, no. not at all...i just didn’t know if you would be upset about talking about it”

he just shook his head with his eyebrows raised high, guess it wasn’t off limits like you thought

you didn’t like the design, though

“i should paint over that star”

“go for it”

you also helped him clean it every once in a while

bucky runs his fingers through your hair and scratches you head with his real arm, you love it

and he loves how relaxed you get

in fact, you guys fell in love, it was an amazing feeling for both of you

you had to say it first

“i love you, bucky”

he picked you up and gave you a kiss afterwards

“god, i love you, too”

you’ve done his hair up a few times, it’s amusing

bucky gives you long kisses on the lips and tons of forehead/hand/shoulder kisses

and bucky’s not always serious, he’s has a sweet side that you bring out in him

he teases you a bit

he’s TALL and he plays keepaway like a big meanie

>:( “bUcKy!!!!”

“i’ll hand it over if you give me a kiss”

you guys moved to romania together in that cozy little apartment

and things were good for you guys

you guys worked, went to the market, every once in a while you had dates...you were really happy

he bought some cookbooks and surprised you with dinner after a long day at work

“i hope you like it, it was a nightmare to make”

“psssh, it smells great, i bet i’ll love it”

cuddling is his favorite

he needs affection

sm of it

but he doesn’t ask for it

*one exception, he pulls you onto his lap

you guys share a shitty, creaky mattress that drives you crazy

like sitting on it and it goes *squuuueaaak*

and, obviously, given the circumstances, bucky trained you in self defense. he wanted to make sure you could save yourself if he wasn’t there for you

the two of you led a simple little life for a while

until you walked into your apartment and saw the silhouette of a large man that was not your boyfriend

you dropped everything as he came out of the shadow

“i’m sorry to startle you, you must be bucky’s s/o. i’m steve rogers, bucky’s in trouble”

your heart was racing

you called bucky but he wouldn’t answer you

but he got home and found you packing each of your things

“there’s no time, y/n, we have to go”

you weren’t like them, you couldn’t fight armed soldiers or jump out of windows or run with cars

so one of captain america’s teammates picked you up, falcon

you all ended up getting apprehended anyways

you were questioned for a brief amount of time, but as soon as the power went out you were able to run

until you saw the winter soldier, that wasn’t bucky

steve made sure you kept away, he knew that if bucky hurt you he would never forgive himself

but again, sam got you out of there while steve got bucky

and once bucky snapped out of it, he remembered his entire past, you’d be learning about a whole new side after this

listen, bucky was terrified during this

if it was just him, he would have a clear mind and go on, but now you were all fugitives and he was mad that he dragged you into this

“please stop blaming yourself, bucky. you know that this is still my choice to stand by your side”

“i know, i just dont want to lose you”

“then stop trying to push me away, i need you and you need me”

steve pulled you aside when he got the chance to tell you:

“im glad he found you, thank you for staying by his side”

you sat in the back of the volkswagen with bucky, clutching onto his hand

“it’s gonna be okay, steve told me you can trust sharon”

yes, you had to stay with sharon during this, she was breaking a lot of rules

“so, did you know he was the winter soldier when you met him?”

“yeah, but he was a good man, too. i focused on that”

“that’s good, that’s really good”

after the “civil war,” you were granted a safe haven in wakanda with bucky, so you and bucky moved there

it was a lot more peaceful than the past few years

bucky told you all about his childhood up until his “death”

he had gotten apart of himself back, it was another part of him to fall in love with

you got to dance with him to some of his favorite songs, it made you feel wonderful

and you got some more training time in wakanda, you never knew when you’d need to kick some ass

and then the day came when the two of you had to fight for your lives and HOLY shit he was losing his mind but he couldn’t stop you from fighting in this one

“y/n, are you sure you want to do this?”

“absolutely. i love you, you big lug. don’t forget it”

“i love you, too. i’ll be out there if you need me”

cap kept an eye on you

but you saved a few people’s asses

before you looked into the eyes of thanos

when he snapped, you watched bucky fade away

and you fell to your knees

and cried, for days you cried

steve and you were heartbroken, it had been 4 years with bucky, now you were alone

you were determined to get him back

but it seemed like there was no chance

so you gave up, stayed at the avengers compound instead, trained like hell with black widow and anyone else who’d have you

five years went by and you were a badass

and you got the second chance you needed, the avengers reunited

“y/n, are you up for this?”

“i’d do anything to get him back”

and after hard work and tragedy, you brought him back

you all did

you were reunited with him and he was surprised to see you kicking ass on the battlefield

“y/n? is that you?”

“bucky! oh, my god. i’ve been waiting five years for this”

he gave you a huge hug and studied your hardened face, there was much to catch up on

“i’m sorry i wasn’t there”

“it wasn’t your fault”

you and your boyfriend kicked alien ass for all you had left, this was your last chance to make it right, all or nothing

you were relieved once it was all over

you actually watched the sunset with bucky while you patched up your wounds

“i’m glad you’re okay, y/n. i don’t know what i’d do without you”

“bucky...i was lost without you these past few years...i just can’t believe i’m here with you again”

“well, i’m not going anywhere anytime soon”

he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and the two of you took in your gift of a well-deserved peaceful moment

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartlisbeth // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @allthecreativeonesaretaken // @frostedgiant // @praellee // @emygirl

#bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #winter soldier #winter soldier imagine #winter solider x reader #james barnes imagine #james barnes x reader #james barnes #white wolf imagine #white wolf x reader #white wolf #marvel #marvel x reader #marvel imagine #avengers x reader #avengers imagine #avengers

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leerongrong · 5 years ago

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College Student!Jeno -

part of the NCT DREAM living the Y/N life collection.

full name: lee jeno

age: 20 [international]

height: 177cm

lets meet the infamous lee jeno

jeno’s a cutie with an eye smile, tall, and handsome

he has passion for multiple things; loves helping people, feeding stray cats, being an all around sweetheart

his love for cats got him a job at the local pet shop in his hometown

he works 2 hours a day after school, immediately going straight to work

the owner, who’s a lovely grandma, loves him to pieces

treats him like her own grandson; squishing his cheeks, gifting him snacks to bring home and even adding a little more to his monthly paycheck

she tells him people visit their pet shop more because of him and jeno always smiles and declines the thought

“this pet shop was already busy even before i worked here.”

although she’s 100% sure its because he smiles at everyone that passes by

so its not a shocker that the guy has his own batch of admirers at school

seniors, juniors, the lunch lady- you name it

everybody who’s anybody knows and adores this prince charming

most of the girls in school even go out of their way to watch him when he plays soccer or dances

people stare at him with literal heart eyes and they’re confused because he never seems to notice anyone??

the most popular girl in his class once confessed her feelings and asked him out a date

but got turned down by jeno

“i’m sorry, i don’t like you that way. maybe we could just be friends?”

the whole school went into chaos,, because lee jeno just rejected the queen bee- and no one’s ever done that before

and they’ve been hunching its because jeno already has a girlfriend

a secret girlfriend who jeno doesn’t admit to anyone

lmao truth is-

it’s because jeno’s a fanboy who’s heart has been taken by an idol

who’s none other than you

you’re the sixth member of red velvet

lead vocalist, lead dancer and song writer

born and raised in california before you decided you wanted to be a kpop idol

your heart breaks everytime you remember that your parents never showed you their support

they kicked you out the moment you told them about becoming an idol

you worked yourself to the bone, working at 4 different places just to save money for yourself to fly to korea

and when you do, your spirits were dimmed

audition after audition you were cast out, companies rejecting you left and right

the only company that hasn’t called after your audition is SM Entertainment

and by now you’re just about ready to give up because you know there’s no way SM’s going to accept you if the other smaller companies didn’t even bat an eye

until your phone rings

you initially thought it was the landlord, calling for the umpteenth time demanding you pay your bills

picking up and noticing right away that it wasn’t the landlord, instead one of the higher ups from SM

you cried tears of joy when they told you that you passed

you train your hardest everyday, along side seulgi and debuting together after 6 years of being a trainee

okay you, yourself know and adore jeno

yes you read that right, a kpop idol who remembers and love her fans with all her heart

well its because jeno’s been there since the very beginning

he’s been there when you first debuted, he’s been supportive and he’s never left

and you know him by name because he’s ALWAYS been there

fansigns, concerts, showcases, you name it

jeno’s always been there to support you and your group as you grow

you’ve always had a little piece of him in your heart because he’s different from the usual more older male and female fans

how could he not?

you’ll never forget that summer after you went MIA because of your health issues

you saw jeno again after months and in your eyes, he wasn’t a boy anymore he was a man

yeri and joy teased you a hell lot after you said it

“of couse you love reveluvs and what’re the odds! jeno’s a reveluv too.”

despite their teasing, you’re sure his eyes were locked on you the whole concert

and jeno would agree.

he remembers being brokenhearted after receiving news that you were going on a hiatus because of your health

he spammed your twitter and instagram accounts with so many ‘get well soon’ wishes

and jeno’s a loyal guy, he would never leave the group he stans just because his bias is missing

although he can’t say it feels the same without you on the stage but he still continued to cheer you on through social media along with streaming your group

he was over the moon when they’d announced that you’re coming back with a full album and concert no less

going straight to his piggy bank and breaking it open just so he could watch your concert

time skip to a few months after

today’s a very special fansign for you

it may or may not have smth to do with the fact that today’s jeno’s birthday and you may have pulled some strings just so the fansign happens today

you hope and pray that you’‘ll get to meet him today of all days

its because you have bought him a few presents for his birthday and you hope to give it to him

you bought him a cartier love necklace along with some perfume, multiple polaroids of you with the members and a very special handwritten letter

the members supported you all the way, they knew of your infatuation with jeno and you can’t bring yourself to care if you lose some fake fans along the way

you know the other reveluvs saw the gift and you’re glad nobody complained

the fandom p much knew how jeno’s literally the first ever to stan your group

they ALL know his love for you

and they all agree that he deserves your presents

although you heard some girls whispering dirty things about him and you

“shouldn’t she love us all the same? what’s so special about him?”

“inconsiderate to her other fans”

they were shushed by true reveluvs, the ones that that knew about jeno and his story

besides,-most reveluvs go to fansigns in hopes of running into him because that boy his HANDSOME and they’re lowkey staning him too by this point sjksjsgd

your fist clenched so hard when said girls came up to you and asked for your autograph

your fake smile is as clear as day, and irene tuts at you when she sees you rushing them away to the other members

which you knew was very petty of you and could ruin the career you’ve worked hard for

and you’re scared of what it might mean for you but you won’t tolerate anyone talking about jeno like that

you try to hide your disappointment when you don’t see jeno, the fansigning almost coming to an end

the gifts you preapared for him are still on your right, untouched

yeri nudges you on your hand and you’re sure your face lit up when you see jeno at the end of the line

a fansite took a picture of the exact moment and it clearly showed your wide smile, you looked like a fan who’s going to meet her bias and not he other way around

you wait and are filled with jitters when jeno finally stands in front of you

you give him the normal greeting, smiling at his newly dyed brownish hair and hand him the gift

you giggle when you see his face bright red and he’s ducking his head trying to hide his smile and your heart literally melts at the sight of his smile

while jeno’s literally dying inside because- you? his ultimate bias just gave him a gift? on his birthday? which you remembered? even after all these years?

he tries so hard to hold in his smile and tears because in no way is he going to cry in front you and plenty other people that are ready to take pictures

and his heart jumps when you, the members, and the people around him sing him a happy birthday while clapping their hands

even the manager behind you is smiling a little

while your agency’s in mock panic because multiple hashtags are trending on twitter

along with the footage of you and jeno

#y/nxjeno

#youandjeno’sshipname

and while jeno couldn’t wish for a happier 20th birthday, he’s not sure he should be relieved because now he’s famous too

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nanasarea · 5 years ago

Text

Jung Jaehyun as your idol bf

Genre: fluff

Pairing: jaehyun x idol!reader

Request: Heyy!! It's been a minute! Could I request Jaehyun as your idol!bf ? ♡JJ

Word count: 1358

a/n: yall, i don’t proof read, this shouldn’t even come as a surprise.

Haechan / Yuta / Mark / Jeno / Jaemin / Chenle / Renjun / Jisung

When you heard you were asked to be in an sm station with jaehyun

you freaked

and so did he (see gif for reference)

and so did all of your and his members

mainly because they could tease you afterwards

bc they’re little shits

i mean what

ANYWAY

you go in and are immediately a bit intimidated

he’s like 180 cm (5’11″) tall

what do you expect

he’s barefaced

and he’s wearing this really cute hoodie

and a baseball cap

which for some reason makes him look even more attractive than usual

and he’s like “sorry I’m late, I overslept and rushed over”

and you’re asking yourself

what kind of bullshit

he looked this good mere minutes after waking up??

this is witchcraft

you were sure of it

and yes, you were intimidated

but not for long

he turned into the nicest friendliest human you’d ever meet in your entire life

not only 5 minutes after meeting

and you’re convinced sm actually made him in their basement

like what how is he such an angel

but like the next day,

and you realize he is actually a mad man

have you seen how he opens albums???

you try and stay calm and professional

but mr. troy bolton just had to drive you insane

he asks if you can look at each other while singing

to make him less nervous

and you’re like

aww that’s sweet but I will faint

Breaking Free 2.0 up in here

like your manager feels like a third wheel there

and everyone else in the studio

his manager even asks your manager how long they think you two will need to start dating

and so the bet began

you two knew of it

they were bad at hiding it

and knowing his competitive ass, he probably placed a bet too

not like in a bad way

just how long he needed to ask you out

“I really want to get to know you better, would getting iced coffee at the cafe down the street be of any interest to you?”

and of course you agreed

you’re not stupid

his manager ended up winning

which made jaehyun all sulky

we all know he is one of the most competitive human beings

but he chickened out one time

because he was nervous

johnny doesn’t let him live

like ever again

you end up going to the cafe

and he shows up in all black

and a baseball cap

basically his outfit from when he went to the coffee shop with johnny from the relay cam

and he looks so boyfriend

and you almost melt

anyway

you talk a lot about music

obviously

mainly his LPs

his music taste is so attractive honestly ugh

time skip to when he asks you to be his girlfriend

which is before your station was released

because he was just so excited

about being with you so he didn’t bother waiting

so when your station was released,

your members knew and hinted of it

so did his

it’s not like they made it that obvious

but like if you read between the lines

it was there

the teasing tho omg

he would be so cocky don’t even

like I’m not saying he would just smile to himself abt it

but he would

“yeah, I got myself some, get on my level”

I know everyone is like

omg prince charming in the flesh

he is

but he’s also SO CHAOTIC

he obviously buys all your albums

and lightstick

all the merch

ends up breaking half of it

it’s okay, he has a black card, he can just buy more

almost exposed you two when you won your first win

he was the mc and when he gave you the award,

he tried so hard not just lift you up in his arms and spin you around

don’t worry, he did that afterwards

behind the scenes

he ends up being no where to be seen in those backstage videos

because he’s always with you

but he’s so cautious about it

he doesn’t want you to get in trouble

so it takes so long for you two to make your relationship public

but when you do,

everyone feels like booboo the fool

like how did no one notice?

most of your dates are in his room

listening to music

and drinking wine

he classy like that

but like 3 minutes later,

you’re watching high school music

he perfect cute like that

ends up serenading you with the songs

and haechan walks into his room

“can you two stfu, you’re too loud, and that’s coming from me”

you don’t shut up tho

you just sing louder to spite him

speaking of that,

jaehyun is a brat

you can’t convince me otherwise

not like all the time

but let’s say you tell him not to do something

or that he can’t

he will make sure that he does it

no matter what

ngl you find it attractive

his competitiveness is so hot istg

you know how he’s like

really into his IG?

you’re the only one he follows

he risked his perfect ratio of like a million to 0

for you and you only

and that’s when you knew he was the one

also you can’t tell me like half of his posts are now photos of you

or you and him

candid couple photos

and whenever you post something

he hypes you up in the comments

like he knows how to flirt

we been knew

and just because ya’ll are official now

doesn’t stop him from flirting with you 24/7

does he care that you’re at an award show with a ton of fans looks at you all the time?

does he care that you’re trying to practice?

does he care that johnny and mark are dragging him away from you because they need to leave for another schedule?

hah no

and they’re sometimes really random

he loves you get all flustered

so you start doing the same

and you always tease him for how red his ears are

but don’t tease him too much

because he will make you regret it

if you know what I’m saying

sneaks into your dorms after his schedule ends

and just lays with you

while you talk about anything

and everything

also have i mentioned he catches you listening to one of his songs

and he goes all uwu

he’s so flustered

he ends up writing some lyrics for the new album

and when you listen to them

he just randomly says

“oh, by the way, that’s about you”

and so you do the same

he has the song on repeat forever

his fave song now

he can’t keep a straight face when listening to it

his go to answer for whenever anyone asks for song recs

also he keeps talking about you

like everywhere

he doesn’t even feel bad

one night, you tell him you can’t fall asleep

so he sings you to sleep on the phone

but he doesn’t have the heart to hang up

even if he needs to

gets johnny to do it

johnny teases him for it

I’m not implying that you get into petty bets

abt everything and anything

I’m saying it, not implying

i know i keep bringing it up, but he’s so competitive what do you expect

also you’re the only one he’s okay with winning at isac

like when you score highest at a certain sport

he just walks around like

“you see that? that’s mine!”

all proud and shit

“yeah, that’s cool but did your s/o score 10 points 4 consecutive times during the archery tournament? didn’t think so”

don’t even get me started on how he’d be at your concert

waving 2 light sticks, has a banner, all y/n merch

johnny, mark and jungwoo swear they don’t know him after that

but it’s okay

you find it cute

which is all that matters to him

almost cries when you dedicate a song to him

and by almost i mean he did

and said that if anyone says anything,

he will deny it

in conclusion: jaehyun best boy(friend)

and now I’m even more whipped for this man than I was before

Tag list (which i forgot, i apologize): @soleilchannie

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eternallovers65 · 4 years ago

Text

I was watching ikon tv on YouTube again and that made me look at a bunch of old clips from kpop, and I just want to say FUCK THE BIG 3 SO MUCH OR ANY OTHER COMPANY THAT TREATS IDOLS LIKE SHIT

JYPE

Blatantly favoritism over Twice and Stray Kids, which leads to overworking them, and zero to nonexistent comebacks to got7 and day6 (idk about itzy bc I'm not a fan). For example in 2018, Twice had 6 comebacks (japanese/singles included) and in both 2017/19 they had 5 (japanese/singles included) Stray Kids on the year they debuted, 2018, had 4 and in 2019 they had 5 (japanese/singles included).

This situation got so bad that during a vlive Jeongyeon cried because of how overworked she was. She, Mina and Jisung had to take a break from promotion, I know that those breaks were in different eras but I think that there's a link on why only members of the most overworked groups needed a break.

Also Got7 has like zero promotion, when they had the world tour ahgases were the ones to promote then, because jype didn't bought ads. The boys songs were refused so many times, Mark's schedule were canceled so he couldn't meet his family. They refused to give a solo career to Yugyeom and Mark, when they failed to protect the boys from the sasaengs which lead them moving out so many times and on why Jackson got injured.

Edit: I am more than glad to say that today, 10th of January, all members of Got7 are leaving Jype. #Got7forever💚 I love you boys, thank you for 7 years of happiness, and I'll proudly continue to support all of you

How they forced that visual and hairstyle on Jeongyeon, even tho she didn't wanted it, she said during a vlive that she wanted to grow her hair but the company used to cut shorter everytime. They are extremely strict with the weight and the food, a few artists like Sunmi already said that. Somi has told some stories about how they had to sneak food and hide eating in the bathroom, and when Momo was forced to lose 7kg in seven days only to appear in a showcase.

The famous situation flag situation with Tzuyu. She was 16 when that happened, she introduced herself as Taiwanese and held the Taiwan flag as well. Which lead to many to many chinese users saying she was a pro-independence activist, she was barred from the Chinese television and suspended of all her activities in China. 2 months later, on the day of the election in Taiwan, Jype posted a video of her reading an apology saying that there's only one China and she is extremely proud to be Chinese. She was 16 at the time, and you can see during the video that she is so scared, sad and clearly hesitating on saying what she's reading, the whole video just has this weird, forced vibes. The 3 presidential candidates said that video was too cruel for a 16 year old girl and that she didn't need to apologize.

I will never forgive yg for disbanding 2ne1, for not helping G-Dragon when he was accused of plagiarism and started suffering from depression but had to continue with the promotion. Same thing with Top that was diagnosed with social anxiety and depression, and suffered a overdose because of the marijuana scandal but yg had also nothing to say.

For releasing Hanbin in a DAY because of false accusations, while it took them WEEKS to release s***gri and only after he released a statement saying that he was leaving bigbang. And for not telling the public or for not defending Jennie during that time everyone were saying she was lazy when in fact she had an ankle injury, but still continued the promotions.

Whether we like to admit or not, SM is probably the best company in the kpop history if we're talking about success, they have a formula that works over and over again, it's a pattern, we can especially see it in Suju, Shinee, Exo and Nct. But omg they have zero compassion for their idols.

Starting from the training, we all know the training for the debut is really difficult, but a lot of people say that between all the companies SM is the worst one, they are extremely strictly and controlling , especially the managers who abuse the power. They have this curated-ness that is quite toxic, and leads to an incredibly perfectionistic and controlling management system. Kai used to practice 8 hours a day so that everything was perfect, like surely work it out bc Kai is one of the best dancers in the industry, but still that's a lot of hours you're basically overworking yourself (I think)

As a result, many idols have even more outstandingly brutal beauty standards than there already are in the kpop industry generally. especially intense weight-loss standards, Taeyeon already said this, during the first 5 years of GG she was constantly battling with eating disorders. Baekhyun has this diet where, instead of eating the food he only chews and then spits out, Sehun in 2017 (I think) had this stage on the Exo tour and he said that he spend an entire month on diet, so he could do that stage. Taemin said on a few episodes of Mtopia that he was on a diet, but you can clearly see that he was extremely thin. Also they have a part in their contracts about plastic surgery, you can see that almost every SM artist has done it a double eyelid surgery.

The blatantly favoritism over Korean idols and the mistreats that happens with idols that aren't Korean (especially with they're chinese), as we saw many times already with examples like Tao, Kris, Luhan, Lay, Winwin, Ten and Lucas before they joined WayV. Or favoritism with certain members of groups, like Taeyong in Nct, of course that favoritism is a part of their formula but still pretty fucked up.

They have such a questionable promotion, like I already read once about. They said that SM promotes the new groups so they can form a better fan base and that way no longer will need the promotion, but still this is extremely bad. Like with BoA, Tvxq or Suju who are still relevant but we barely hear news about them because SM doesn't promote then, and I can already see this with Exo especially in their latest comeback.

They manage mental health horrifically. Like with Taeyeon in 2014/15 when a member (bc SM treated Jessica as garbage) of her group had to leave, which lead to the midia saying it was her fault alongside with the hate she received at that time because of her relationship with Baekhyun, that lead to her depression and eating disorders. Same thing happened with Baek, although he didn't receive the same amount of hate, he still had to suffer with his relationship being in the spotlight while 3 members of his group left, because AGAIN SM treated them as fucking garbage.

For stop carrying about f(x), as a result lead to a witch hunt on Victoria saying that it was her fault for that happening, for Sulli who was suffering from a mental illness but never received a break nor the protection from the media that used to say that she was a bad example. For Jonghyun who was also suffering from depression but never got any help or a break.

And our latest examples Irene and Chanyeol. I don't approve Irene's actions, but the fact that the media is so ruthless with her it's ridiculous and even more ridiculous of SM to not defend their idol, especially when there's so many other celebrities that are WAY worse than her. And for Chanyeol, who was accused of cheating on his girlfriend 10 times, but SM had nothing to say or to defend his image. It took the fans for that to happen, the fans were the ones to find out that was a fake and cover up scandal so the news about the government crisis were not to be seen.

They are so bad at dealing with idol apologies, like why did Taeyong in 2016 had to apologize for something he didn’t do, but they never had anyone apologize for their racist or the cultural appropriation that the idols have done many times already in a lot of mvs????

That's why I hate the kpop industry and the media so fucking much, bc they're ruthless and assholes who are putting so much pressure on the idols, who in the end of the day are humans and are deserving of things like love, privacy and a break to take care of themselves. I truly adore kpop and the dramas, but I'd stop watching and listening with all of my heart if it means that they would stop treating humans beings as fucking trash! They deserve so much more!

Thank you for coming to my ted talk!

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only-kiwi · 5 years ago

Text

lose you to love me - part 8

inspired by little do you know by alex & sierra.

part 1

part 2

part 3

part 4

part 5

part 6

part 7

tobi felt like she was always in the studio these days. or writing. or thinking about it. probably because she had a lot on her mind... harry was really fucking with her. unintentionally, of course. but still. she didn’t know what to do. she loved him so much, but she just didn’t want to go through the same thing again. she needed to be sure it was a forever thing.

getting out of the car, tobi spotted harry walking in. she called his name and jogged up to him, giving him a hug. ��hey, how was your interview?” she asked as they stood outside, which wasn’t the best idea because she was sure she heard cameras clicking.

“pretty good, yeah. i covered Big Yellow Taxi.”

“no way.” tobi gasped. “that’s my favourite song.”

“i know.” harry smiled, but it slowly faded when he noticed an iPhone camera across the street pointing towards them. “let’s go inside.”

***

“okay so,” tobi started as they sat down, “i have literally like three sentences.”

“show me them.”

tobi opened up her notebook, there were words and sentences and phrases. most of which were scribbled out. harry knew she only did this when there was too much on her mind, she usually liked her notebook to be really neat and tidy. but this... this is was chaotic and he was honestly quite worried. harry looked at what was written down, he took in her words.

‘haunted by the memories’ ‘trying to pick myself up’ ‘you might change your mind’ ‘i forgive you but i can’t forget’

“what do you think? can we figure something out?” tobi seemed really adamant to get this song out.

“yeah, we can definitely work with this.” harry told her. “i just... are you sure you’re okay?”

“i’ve just been thinking a lot and i have all these feelings that i need to get out. i feel like i’ll actually be able to breathe after. because little do you know-“

“-that’s it!”

“what?”

“little do you know.”

“i don’t think i follow....”

“come here,” harry led her inside the booth to the keyboard. he started playing. “how did you feel when we broke up.”

“uhm, i couldn’t sleep for months. i felt broken, i guess. especially after you got with camille. i was struggling and you were just... fine.”

“ok listen....” he then started singing, “little do you know, how i’m breaking while you fall asleep.”

“yeah, i like that.” tobi wrote it down in case they forgot. “keep playing.”

“little do you know, i’m still haunted by the memories. little do you know, i’m tryna pick myself up piece by piece. little do you know, i need a little more time.” tobi sang and harry looked up at her as she stood in front of the keyboard. “harry, you might be a genius.”

“they’re your words, t.” he smiled.

“yeah, but... you always managed to make sense of everything.” harry smiled even wider at had words. there was something about the atmosphere that just felt so good, maybe it was because they weren’t hiding anything. and it felt like a movie with the way harry was playing the piano. “ok how about, ‘underneath it all i’m held captive by the hole inside. i’ve been holding back for the fear that you might change your mind. i’m ready to forgive you, but forgetting is a harder fight. little do you know, i need a little more time’.”

“you just made that up?”

“i guess. but it’s all i’ve got so i’m gonna need you to figure something out.” the pair wrote, then they threw it away. then they wrote again. harry liked the idea of the song sounding like a conversation, similar to ‘what a time’, so that’s what they went with.

tobi watched harry as he played the piano and sang, she let him do his thing and he looked beautiful while doing it. everyone usually sees him going off on a massive stage in front of thousands of people, and while that’s amazing, tobi always loved watching him like this. tears filled her eyes, the way he looked, the way he sounded... she really loved him.

“little do you know, i know you’re hurting while i’m sound asleep. little do you know, all my mistakes are slowly drowning me. little do you know, i’m tryna make it better piece by piece. little do you know, i, i love you til the sun dies.”

tobi couldn’t help herself from letting out the smallest sob. “why are you crying?” harry asked with a small chuckle.

“i don’t know,” she shook her head. “i just wish everything happened differently.”

harry reached up and wiped away his ex girlfriend’s tears and pulled her into his side to comfort her. “me too, baby.”

tobi cried harder, “you haven’t called me that in over a year.”

“i know.”

“you used to call each other that, you and camille. you said it in your songs.”

“it wasn’t the same.” he said softly, looking at her.

“but it was, though. she was your rebound but you fell in love with her. you’d still be with her if she hadn’t gone back to her ex, you know that.” tobi finally looked at him. “i hate to think about it but i can’t help it.”

“she wasn’t you, no one will ever be you.”

“you wrote a whole album about her.”

“not all of it.”

“what?”

“some of the songs are still about you,” harry told her. “falling, sunflower, fine line. there all about you.”

“you said it wasn’t about me.”

“yeah, i know. i guess i just didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.” he shrugged. “oh, and to be so lonely is about you too.”

“i kind of figured but i wasn’t too sure about that one. didn’t think you’d write more songs about me after the first album.” tobi looked down at the piano, playing with some of the keys.

“you called me an arrogant son on a bitch when we had that fight.”

“i did,” she giggled, “sorry about that.”

“you were right.”

tobi shrugged, “come on, we have a song to finish.”

Liked by harrystyles, arianagrande and 1,893,076 others

tobiskye need a little more time.

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tobifan1 time for WHAT???

tobifan2 lyrics again pls say yes

arianagrande love u so much

tobiskye @/arianagrande love u more i’m coming to see u asap

harryfan1 are her and harry back together???

annetwist You look amazing, T 🤍

tobiskye @/annetwist i miss you!!

Liked by tobiskye, jefezoff and 2,921,673 others

harrystyles I’ll wait.

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harryfan2 WHAT THE FUCKSSJWK

harryfan3 y’all are so obvious

tobiskye ....so that’s where my scrunchie went

harrystyles @/tobiskye yes and I’m keeping it

tobifan3 stfu i love them

harryfan4 you can’t tell me they’re not together again like you just can’t

Liked by harrystyles, annetwist and all 1,824,053 others

tobiskye 🍏

View all 28,438 comments

tobifan4 <3

tobifan5 listening to the apple lyrics and realising it’s about harry omg

harrystyles Favourite song x

tobiskye @/harrystyles love u

harryfan5 get back together!!!

harryfan6 ily both sm

arianagrande bitch the song u sent me is fire

tobiskye @/arianagrande harry did most of it i just sat there and cried

Liked by tobiskye, arianagrande and 2,134,792 others

harrystyles T.S

View all 32,095 comments

harryfan7 she’s so hot how did you go from this to camille

tobiskye i said 👽

harrystyles @/tobiskye you really did

harryfan8 would kill to look like this

tobifan6 CRYING SHE LOOKS SO GOOD

gemmastyles 💘

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winzenni · 5 years ago

Text

butterfly (nakamoto yuta)

Summary: when your secret tattoo is discovered and you're scolded during dance practice, the nice Japanese boy group trainee can't help but interfere.

Genre: fluff, hurt/comfort

Pairing: trainee!yuta x trainee!reader

Word count: 1.9k

Author’s note: trigger warning! unwanted touching? also, we all know that yuta respects women af so i thought this would just be something he’s probably done

“and uh 5, 6, 7, 8.”

“smoother movements, people.”

“y/n, you’re late on the third count.

“one more time from the top.”

“y/n, fix your left arm.”

“last time from the top.”

It was just another day in the practice room, preparing for your next dance evaluation, but today’s practice felt a little harder than usual. Maybe it was the fact that it was over ninety degrees outside (a typical summer day in Korea), or the fact that you were wearing a fairly thick T-shirt with long sweats that were made for chilly weather.

When you woke up from your nap two hours earlier, you had completely forgotten about the group dance practice scheduled in ten minutes, and grabbed whatever clothes you saw first in your closet before dashing to the practice room, where your trainee friends were already warming up with the teacher.

“Ok, 10-minute break. Get some water and come back ready to clean up your moves.” said the instructor, Mr. Kim.

The trainees scattered from the center of the room, with some girls leaving to stop by the water fountain, some guys grabbing a towel to wipe their sweat, and some just plopping down on the floor to catch their breath.

“It’s so hot, Jiwoo. I think I might faint from heat exhaustion,” you tell your friends. Like you, Jiwoo has been training under SM for the past two years. Though make and female trainees were often divided during the training process, today, all trainees, both male and female, were learning the same hip-hop routine for the monthly evaluation.

“It's not that hot though? Maybe it's because you're wearing fleece sweats. Y/n, you really are going to pass out if you keep wearing that. I have extra shorts that you can wear.” Jiwoo pulls out a pair of black athletic shorts from her duffel bag and hands them to you.

“Really? Oh my god, Jiwoo, I don't know what I would do without you.” You take them from her, standing up. “I'll be back, I'm going to go change.”

The shorts definitely helped with the heat, but Jiwoo’s size and proportions were a little off from yours. She was a little shorter than you, which made the shorts barely reach halfway to your knee, yet the shorts were a little loose around your thighs, allowing the fabric to fly up each time you squatted or jumped. Nevertheless, it was better to show some skin than pass out from heat exhaustion.

Still, you didn't want the male trainees to see anything that you didn't want them to. And in particular, you didn't want anyone to see the tattoo on your inner thigh.

Not only were tattoos considered ugly and immature, but they were also a nuisance to makeup artists and stylists. Just knowing that you had an inked design on your body would make you less eligible to debut.

So to prevent the shorts from rising up and revealing your tattoo, you put less energy into the jumps, but this compromised the appearance of the performance.

“Ok, everyone stop,” said Mr. Kim. “Y/n, why are you jumping like a half dead frog? At this part, everyone needs to jump up like a spring, a slinky! You're a rusty wire right now, fix it.”

“Sorry, Mr. Kim. I’ll do better.”

In the next rounds of dancing, you decided to put your all into it, fearing a scolding from the teacher. Hopefully, no one would pay attention to you enough to notice what was under your shorts.

“From the top to the second jump,” Mr. Kim ordered.

1-2-3-4, 5-6-7-jump. 1-2-3-4, 5-6-7-jump. You counted in your head, focusing on only the dance and your movements.

1-2-3-4, 5-6-7-jump. 1-2-3-4, 5-6-7-jump. In this moment, you only noticed yourself, your swaying motions, your posture, your expressions.

1-2-3-4, 5-6-7-jump. 1-2-

“STOP!” Mr. Kim roared.

Everyone's eyes widened, unsure if they were the ones going to be scolded. At this point, it had been a longer practice than usual, and as practice dragged on, Mr. Kim’s mood and tolerance dwindled exponentially.

“Y/n. Step up.”

Your heart suddenly began pounding a mile a minute. What did you do wrong? You could have sworn your movements were perfect. You stepped forward from the grid formation, to the front of the class with your back facing them. In the mirror, you saw your fearful face in front of all the other trainee’s wide eyes and pitiful stares.

“Y/n. What is this?” Mr. Kim pointed to your right inner thigh, right where the fabric of the shorts ended and revealed a black mark on your skin. “Lift up your shorts.”

With shaking fingers, you slightly pull up the edge of the shorts to reveal a small inked butterfly on your thigh, just a few inches wide. In your peripheral vision, you could see the other trainees, sending looks of surprise? shock? confusion? to each other.

“Y/n……” the edge of Mr. Kim’s lips slid upward, almost laughing in your face to mock you. “You've been messing up all day and now this. You really continue to surprise me.”

He pulled up the edge of the shorts once more to get a glimpse of your tattoo, his foreign touch on your thigh making you flinch.

“If you're going to be a rebellious bitch and get a tattoo, at least make it creative!” He laughed. “A butterfly?”

At this point, you looked down at your feet in the mirror’s reflection, too embarrassed to face how the other trainees were looking at you. You blinked quickly to prevent any tears from falling. Would you have to get the tattoo removed to keep training? Or worse, would you maybe even be kicked out? Having a tattoo was one thing, but you had been causing some trouble during today's practice with your mistakes.

Mr. Kim’s scolding continued in the back of your mind, but you tuned it out with the clouded thoughts of what might happen to you. You were brought back to the current situation when Mr. Kim’s hands pulled up your shorts again to see the tattoo, this time a little too high, revealing a sliver of your black underwear. You took a step back.

“Hey!” A new body appeared in your field of vision, pushing away Mr. Kim’s hand and stepping in between you and the teacher with his y'all figure.

“M-mr. Kim,” you started.

“Hah, look at this-this,” Mr. Kim didn't know where to start with cursing you. “Y/n, you're dismissed. Leave now. Yuta, get out of my way and go back to your position.”

It took a minute for you to process Mr. Kim’s words. Dismissed from practice? Dismissed from the monthly evaluation? Dismissed from the training you had put the past two years of your life into and given up academics and friends and good food for? With all these thoughts in your mind, you couldn't help but let some tears slide down your cheek as you left the room and went into the hallway. You couldn't even hear the roaring voice of another teenager behind you.

“You can't touch her like that! That's not-"

Sitting in an empty recording room, you couldn’t help but let the tears run down your face.

You had worked so hard for so long to get to where you were, and you might have just lost it all because of a stupid butterfly tattoo you thought would be cute a year ago. In your head, you could only hear the sound of your own crying and the troublesome thoughts plaguing your mind.

A boy sat next beside you. Looking at you through his straight blond bangs, he says, “Sorry about what happened to you back there. That wasn't cool at all.”

You try to even your breathing and control your tears for a moment to respond. “Thanks, but it wasn't your fault so you don't need to apologize. Why are you here? Aren't you going to get in trouble for leaving practice?”

“Well, I just didn't think it was fair for you to be treated like that back there,” the boy says, looking down at his feet. “I-I wanted to see if you were ok. Oh, and I'm Yuta by the way. Nakamoto Yuta. Nice to meet you.” He offers a hand to shake, and you grasp it weakly to give it a friendly shake.

“I'm y/n,” you say in an almost silent whisper. “You should go back. One dismissed trainee is enough.”

“No, I'll stay here until you stop crying,” Yuta declares firmly. “I-I just really think it was so unfair for you to go through that. It's so dumb, like honestly, it's just a tattoo! It's no different from… from me wearing this earring or choosing to have blond hair!” He says, readjusting the beanie around his bangs.

After a moment of silence and looking down at your shoes, your sweaty legs and tired ankles, Yuta gently breaks the silence.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

You hesitate for a moment, wondering if it will be burdensome to release your tensions and worries into this stranger you've just met today. However, his aura radiates a warm, welcoming feeling, like a close friend you've reunited with after a long time.

“I just… I just did so much to get here. I don’t think I can live with myself if this is what gets me kicked out.” Your mind reverts back to flashbacks of all the meals you skipped, tears you cried, hours you danced, and sleepless nights you had dedicated to your journey to debut. To throw that all to waste over sweating a little too hard and changing pants at dance practice -- it would be a burden you would not be able to live with.

Coming to terms with the tragic future you’ve set up for yourself, a tear slips from your eye down onto your shoes, not going unnoticed by Yuta.

“Hey, hey, y/n, look at me,” he says.

You look up to him from under your tear-stained eyelashes, meeting his honey-like gaze.

“You’re not going to get kicked out. It’s gonna be ok,” he says, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and squeezing it comfortingly before sharply retracting his arm.

“S-sorry, I… is it ok if I put my arm here?” He asks.

You nod, leaning into his touch and putting your head on his shoulder.

You sit together for a while like that, without exchanging any words. Though he doesn’t say anything besides softly rubbing circles into your shoulder, Yuta’s mere presence and the warmth radiating from his body brings you a sense of consolation.

“I think it’s cute,” Yuta says, after what feels like ten or fifteen minutes of silence.

“Hm?” you say.

“The butterfly,” he explains. “I think it’s cute. Don’t listen to what others say about it. I think it’s really cute.”

“Thanks. It’s supposed to represent, like, hope and endurance,” you say. “I got it a few months into training because it was a difficult time for me. So whenever I mess up, I just look at it and think about…. I guess, I remind myself to keep going.”

Yuta nods, processing the symbolism of it and how much it must’ve meant to you. “I’ll be your butterfly,” he chimes in quietly.

“Huh?”

“You’re going to keep training here with me. I’m not going to let you quit now.”

Though his words sound motivational, you wonder, what power does he have over this? Well, whatever happens, you’re glad you were able to make a new friend. Little do you know that Yuta’s father has some... connections with the company.

#yuta nakamoto #nakamoto yuta #yuta scenarios #yuta au #yuta x reader #nct x reader #nct fluff #nct hurt/comfort #nct 127 fluff #nct 127 hurt/comfort #nct 127 fic #nct 127 scenarios #nct 127 x reader

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tfw-no-tennis · 4 years ago

Text

mtmte liveblog issue 36

time travel arccccccccccccc yessssssssss

I have been waiting SO LONG to reread this arc hhhhh yessss

starting off strong with the sexy roller cover. nice

I love the disconnect of ‘orion pax: outlaw’ compared to the last time we saw him in shadowplay where he was orion pax: supercop

he’s still punching people for JUSTICE or whatever so I guess not much has changed

oh my god this is the issue with the many many two-page spreads...the first time I read this issue I didn't realize that was a thing and GOD I was SO fucking confused. there's already a lot going on in this issue/arc but this made things so much worse hvbhjkdfbsk. I powered thru and still managed to understand most of the arc despite reading half this issue out of order (essentially) bc the website I read it on split the pages up and I couldn't tell they were supposed to be doubled (and also I'm dumb so I didn't figure it out)

anyways, the actual issue...windcharger is out here using his powers to rip a dudes arms clean off. wow!

and there's skids getting punched in the face. Ls

and glitch! a totally minor character of course...

MANNNNN I SO adore the panel of all the lost lighters appearing in a cloud of purple smoke, all posing epically....SO fucking good, peak sci-fi coolness vibes, A++

as usual jro killing it w/the titles, ‘elegant chaos’ is such a great name for a time travel arc

also reading the tfwiki has shown me that many of jros titles are song or album titles, to which I say - that's epic and I love it. with jro doing it, I feel like it straddles the line between referencing music and the very fanfic-esque ‘title things after music’ vibe. I love it

oh god I forgot they use bs cybertronian time units in this sometimes lmao...I mean of course they do but still like, what the fuck is a cycle. is that a day. I feel like these words all have no meaning/the meanings change drastically depending on continuity. I cant keep up and also I'm lazy and don't care enough to try

I love rodimus did u know

poor riptide looks so confused lmao

IS....IS REWIND PIGGYBACKING TAILGATE...THATS SO FUCKING CUTE....I cant fully tell bc of the page layout but ooomg so precious. minibot buddies

whirl saying ‘chuff’ just reminded me how british jro is hvbhakjhdsfbs sometimes it just Jumps Out in mtmte and I'm like Oh God Britain Is Real

I really like the mtmte approach to time travel and paradoxes and whatnot. its just complex enough to be interesting but not too convoluted that it bogs down the story. perfect sci-fi fun!

mannnn chromedome talking abt brainstorm :( I'm sad abt those two hhhhh

and I love how at this point, nobody in the cast ACTUALLY knows brainstorm well enough to know what he’s really doing - including chromedome, who’s ostensibly his closest friend, somebody he’s known for a while - and even the readers don't really know what he’s up to...I like the mystery tbh

cant believe rewind wrote orion pax’s biography, omg. completely forgot abt that detail

cd saying ‘I love it when he talks history’ about rewind....hhhh I love cdrw so muuuuch

godddd the line rodimus says abt whirl - how they need people like whirl around who are ‘happy to get in the way’ of danger and death - that shit haunts me man like...rodimus is basically saying that he’s bringing whirl along to potentially die in place of someone like orion pax (nevermind the fact that whirl dying would ALSO fuck up the timeline)...like, how deep does it go?? is he saying that bc he knows whirl has been trying to get himself killed for a while now, or just bc whirl likes violence? mannn I cant...the character intricacies...man

anyways...I love rodimus he’s such an interesting character. you have that fucked up moment and then in the next panel he’s saying ‘if you want to call it a time phone, I wont stop you’ about the quantum walkie-talkie. he has the RANGE

oh and then rodimus casually volunteering chromedome to do mnemosurgery on anyone who might accidentally find out about them time traveling, which is again fucked up on multiple levels. the raaaaange

vjaksbhdhfusajbfdjk that panel of the lost light squad just standing there like idiots reminds me of that post where someone said abt that panel ‘these characters have a collective 3 brain cells’ or something hvbjadkfnksfdl

rodimus IMMEDIATELY breaking his own rules by trying to reassure pax that they're good guys by pointing at his autobot badge, even tho the autobots DONT EVEN EXIST YET at this point...my boy PLEASE go purchase some brain cells from the store

and the fact that rodimus introduced himself to pax w/his real name...shouldn't he go by an alias or st??? that seems like a good time travel rule since optimus and rodimus definitely know each other later

and like, did they not anticipate that some of the people in the past would recognize some of the lost lighters hgbajkhdjfnjksf like cd and whirl get Instantly recognized...great job guys

they are all SO bad at this hvbahskjdhfbasjkf I cantttt luckily for them the orion crew is handing them easy alibis

‘the dugout’ is that a baseball reference????

also I love the scenery here, the bg looks like rock but there's metal piping and stuff running thru it, its so cool...really adds to the whole ‘cybertron biomes are made of metal’ thing

‘ancient history’ rodimus are you KIDDING ME-

cyclonus time travels to the past and IMMEDIATELY finds a window to stare broodingly out of. icon

tailgate thinking orion pax is SUPER COOL continues here from shadowplay and I love it...tailgate is so cute

and the tg saying ‘don't you think that's awesome, cyclonus?’ hhhhh so cute

one reason I love this arc so much is that this is the arc where the gay Really amps up

TRAILBREAKER.... oh man ;_;

are you telling me that this outlaw base they're in has ONE bed for all of these people. what the hell vhbaksjhfnsal

cant believe rung sampled roller’s steroid juice box

also cant believe robot steroids exist. except yes I can and I love it

oooh roller’s a 0/1%er? I forgot abt that

cant believe orion pax just grabs some random phone that belongs to these weird new people and answers it. WHO does that

goddddd megatron and orion’s conversation....destroy me

HHHHHH like...the HISTORY....the regret...the missed opportunities...its all so palpable....goddddddd

and of COURSE, the whole thing is steeped in tragedy...the ideological differences that will become the foundation for a 4 million year long war...megatron, who believes that you need to burn things down and start again to really make change stick, and then orion, who says ‘reform is the answer, not revolution’....AUGHHH the intricacies. mannnn

‘you sound lost’ 😭😭😭

‘its tragic.’ yeah, that about sums up their relationship, especially at this stage and in this continuity

anyways. [cries about old man megatron talking to young naïve orion pax] goodbye

AUGHHH and then we jump to rodimus ONCE AGAIN breaking his own rules and trying to save trailbreaker...IT HURTS MAN...god I love rodimus, I feel like him being broken up about crewmembers like trailbreaker dying is one part regular sadness over people he knows dying for tragic reasons, and one part personal guilt at someone under his command dying, even if he’s not involved/at fault. I love the dichotomy of this emotional reaction that comes only partially from empathy/emotion, but also comes from a kinda self-centered need for success as measured by people under your command staying alive. and taking into account rodimus’s life it totally makes sense that he’d act like that...GAH I love it. the complexity of it all!

orion pax saying ‘you should read [megatron]. it’s powerful stuff’ I'm screaming, so many LAYERSSSSS

I fucking love time travel AHHHHHHHHH like the opportunity for interactions like these....chefs kiss

‘hey, best friend! miss you!’ rodimus is such a shit hvbdajkfksjhfd

‘very sus’ rodimus ahead of his time w/the among us lingo

oooh and then they realize that the senate is trying to kill the sparks...gotta save the babies!

tailgate scolding cyclonus for bluntly stating that you'd wanna be subtle when killing newborns...hhhvbhsdfhhhhhh I love them sm

ooooh and rewind has an interesting suggestion - that the senate is actually trying to irradiate the sparks into being outliers...rewind is so smart I love him

and the fact that he’s using history from his database...love it

rodimus sending cyclonus and whirl out like pokemon

ROLLER NOOOO DONT GO OUT THERE

also wow this is literally the 5th (I think) double page spread in this issue...the confusion I felt the first time I read this...lmao

and now this is literally one of my favorite issues so I'm glad I know what's going on lmao

oh man rodimus telling cd not to erase trailbreakers memory even tho that could jeopardize the entire timeline... :(

oh man I didn't even notice but roller getting debris blasted into his face like that makes the whole ‘roller is tarn’ theory even more legit considering tarn’s face scars....

‘tighter the better’ hhh don't say that orion. but also, that’s the companion phrase to megatron saying ‘the deeper the better’ hvbhasjkhdfbaksjlf

I do love the semi-campy action hero antics that orion pax gets up to. its just so fun, even when the stakes are high and things are serious

‘this is the greatest thing I have ever seen’ tg ily

THE REVEAL THAT THE SPARKS WENT TO NYON...so rodimus just saved himself, basically...time travel is so trippy

GODDDD ND THEN TRAILBREAKER...HVHHHHHh 😭😭😭 THATS SO CRUEL MAN

oh man that last panel of trailbreaker holding up roller’s juice box...iirc the first time I read this I thought that was roller (cause of the juice box I guess? idk I'm an idiot) so I was like oh ok he must've come back or something. very much related but I didn't really think about tarn being a particular pre-established character and totally didn't read the whole ‘roller is tarn’ thing that was going on

which in my defense ruth also didn't pick up on any of that while reading this and eventually like 2 issues before the reveal I had to prompt her like ‘you should maybe be wondering WHO tarn is’ vhbahjksdfbaksjdf

so! issue 37! this issue is a solid favorite of mine, id say definitely top 5 or even 3. I'm super biased bc I fucking LOVE time travel, it’s seriously one of my favorite tropes ever, and this issue hits all the time travel beats I love. characters traveling to the past and interacting with people they know! conversations that have multiple meanings bc of TIME TRAVEL! trying to save someone who meets a terrible fate in your future! fun time travel action! the time traveling characters being generally terrible at hiding the fact that they're time travelers! ITS SO GOOD.

and I love the clever way everything is tied together here - where we get a nice continuation of shadowplay, with this taking place shortly after that with a lot of the same cast, and time travel classics like the good ole ‘if we hadn't travelled back in time and done what we did, the future we came from wouldn't have existed at all,’ in the flavor of ‘rodimus saving his baby self’ and ‘rodimus NOT saving trailbreaker’ and ‘everyone forgot about roller :(’

ok but like, did the lost lighters just go ‘oh well, guess rollers gone now.’ like they DID realize that the outlaw crew would have no idea what happened to him if they got their memories erased, right?? did the lost lighters figure that since roller never reappeared after this time period, that was how history was ‘supposed’ to go and they shouldn't mess with it? am I overthinking it? as usual: yes, probably. I love overthinking about comics, in case that wasn't obvious

basically...I love this issue soooo much. so so good and a bunch of fun tropes that I love. I mean the whole arc is like that for me since I love time travel so much. so I cant wait to (re)read more!!

#lj rereads mtmte

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annedemons · 4 years ago

Text

I know my mum is toxic. But most of the time, I’m like : « No, she’s not that terrible. I’m such a bad daughter to think that. It’s also my fault. »

So I decided to write down a list of some toxic things that my mum did to me. Because I need to feel I’m not crazy. Like it’s not just in my head.

- She always told me fatphobic comments. Since I’m 4-5. I wasn’t even fat.

- She told me I was a « fat cow ».

- She told me multiple times that she was going to commit suicide, and I was one of the reasons why.

- I found out she was having an affair with my uncle (her sister’s husband). She doesn’t know I know about this relationship.

- I’m 21 and she still decides for my haircut. I never went to the hairdresser by myself. She was always with me.

- When I was almost 15, we were on holidays in Tunisia. One day, we met another family (of a single dad). My mum flirted with this man. She was still married to my dad. My dad was there as well. That was awkward. In the evening, we watched a show created by the staff. At the end, we left and we lost our mum. We thought she would join us in our bedroom. She came back 2 hours later. My dad became crazy. We all knew she was with the man. I had to force my dad to let my mum get in the room when she came back. This was the worst moment of my entire life. I wished I could die.

- She sends me several messages per day. « What are u doing rn ? Did u already have lunch ? What are u eating ? Did u arrive ? Etc. »

- A few days ago, she was crazy. I told her I was going to my flat student for a few days because I needed to take a break. She screamed at me : « If you leave now, I swear I’m going to kill myself. » So I couldn’t leave my house.

- I usually have to do shopping with her. She doesn’t choose my clothes, but I clearly can’t buy something she doesn’t like.

- She flirts with every man. Not really in a serious way. She just thinks that’s funny. She already flirted with my cousin’s boyfriend (he’s 21). She makes it like that’s a joke. But that’s so awkward. I know that when I will have a boyfriend, she’ll flirt with him.

- I get a student grant (my family has financial problems). She took half of my grant. Without asking. She just told me she needed it, that it was normal because we’re family. Of course I would have given her a part of it. But HALF !? I need money to pay my student flat, to buy food, to pay my bills, to buy stuff for me, etc.

- My mum always hated Halloween. When I was 10, my brother and I celebrated it for the first time, because we really wanted to. A few months later, my grandpa (my mum’s dad) committed suicide. My mum told us that the fact that we celebrated Halloween gave us bad luck. She told us we were mostly responsible for my grandpa’s suicide. I didn’t celebrate Halloween for years after this because I truly believed it.

- When I was 11, I was bullied at school (not that terrible, but still). One day, this was too much for me. I was having lunch with my mum and my brother. I broke and I cried. I explained her what was going on. She didn’t really take it seriously. She thought there were just jokes between children. She never understood I was bullied.

- It happened multiple times that she got crazy, sad and angry and told us : « I have no family ! No family ! I’m alone ! I have no one around me ! » And I was like : « Hey, I’m just there !? »

- I had lived in London for one year (I think you get why I left). One day, at midnight, I was still awake. My mum noticed it because she saw I was online on Facebook. She sent me : « Go to bed ». She was 900km away and still gave me orders.

- I almost never wear makeup. But when I do, my mum usually notices it and makes fun of it. When I was 20, for Christmas, I put some lipstick. My whole family was there. My mum saw my mouth and said in front of everybody : « Hahaha you tried to put lipstick ?! It’s kinda a mess ! » My lipstick was actually ok. But I went to the bathroom, I cried and I took off the lipstick. I just felt so ashamed.

- I have nice curly hair. So did my mum when she was my age. But now, her hair is less curly. Everytime I talk about my hair, about how it looks nice, etc. (it’s the only part of my body that I like), my mum always complains about her own hair and actually kinda makes me feel guilty and bad because I have curly hair and she doesn’t really anymore. So now, I never talk about my hair in front of my mum. Because I know she’s gonna be jealous. And I feel like it’s my fault.

- When I was 10, I had a fight with my mum. And she suddenly told me : « Anyway, you know what ? I actually have cancer and I’m gonna die in a few months. I have cancer because you make me crazy. » I stopped breathing. I started to cry. I asked her : « What ?? ». I couldn’t stop thinking « Omg, she’s gonna die because of me. I’m a monster. » 10 minutes later, she told me this was all fake. She didn’t have cancer. She just told me this lie because she was angry. She. Pretended. She. Had. Cancer. Because. She. Was. Mad. At. Me.

- Last week, she changed my phone operator without asking me. She told me she found a cheaper one. Ok, nice. But she didn’t tell me what I get with this new offer (mobile data, how many SMS, how many calls, etc.). I don’t know about other countries, but in Switzerland, a mobile phone subscription is pretty expensive, even more when you get everything unlimited. Anyway, she changed it without asking me. I’m 21, I pay for my own mobile phone subscription and I can’t even choose it or have the right to give my opinion.

#toxic mother #toxic mum #toxic mom #toxic parents #depression #toxic family

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