#that was a terrible pun
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The reason why Go Piss Girl isn't an option, is because I had genuinely never heard of it until all of y'all let me know.
Reblog for more people to give their answers!
#funny stuff#funny memes#puns#bad puns#pun#terrible puns#dad jokes#bad jokes#toilet#toilet joke#funny#funny post#funny polls#funny content#tumblr polls#my polls#polls#dumb jokes
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Im not sorry
Jason: Tim I need you to be straight with me
Tim: Wow Jason I never thought you were homophobic
Jason:
Tim: *finger guns*
Bruce: Duke, can you call your siblings down for dinner?
Duke, using his powers: Don’t you mean…dimmer? *puts on sunglasses*
Bruce: How long have you been carrying those around?
Duke: …three months
Tim: When I first met Damian he tried to stab me!
Dick: That’s just his way of saying knife to meet you.
Tim: …
Dick: Hey my sword play isn’t that bad
Tim: just leave
#batfam#batman#batfamily#tim drake#dc comics#jason todd#bruce wayne#dick grayson#incorrect quotes#incorrect batboys quotes#duke thomas#puns#bad puns#i love puns#terrible puns#dumb puns#wordplay#incorrect batman quotes#incorect quote#incoorect quotes#incorrect dc quotes#batman incorrect quotes#incorrect batfam#incorrect bruce wayne#incorrect batfamily quotes#incorrect dick grayson#dick grayson incorrect quotes#jason todd incorrect quotes#incorrect jason todd#tim drake incorrect quotes
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me, explaining liches to my new players: so basically they have to constantly take the souls of people to ensure that they continue to be a lich. like an adobe subscription
barbarian: adobe soulscribtion
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portrait of the blogger as a strange and awkward woman
#yo what's up feel free to ignore me again#trying to keep my bad brain from winning and posting my fishnet friday early#blah blah great catch blah something pun sarcastic remark blah#didnt realize how terrible the angle was so i might delete but first unfortunately i might drink#see ya later i guess 🥲#personal unfortunately#A W K W A R D lol
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*Kaz Brekker standing over a person he just murdered*
Jesper: ah shucks another Kazualty
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He’s at it again
#dad jokes#terrible puns#professor friede#pokemon friede#pokemon#pokemon horizons#pokeani#anipoke#puns#bruh I’m awful at backgrounds I really need to fix that soon#cocosnowlo
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read him to filth and topped it all off with a mean gay little apology. renly it doesn't even matter that you're going to die next chapter, because you will ALWAYS be famous.
#forgot how much he served until his dying breath#a terrible king#and yet an unimpeachable icon#pun intended#stannis baratheon#asoiaf#asoiaf meta#asoiaf shitpost#house baratheon#renly baratheon
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[ cw: injury mention / jokes about death / ]
Love when people depict Leo like-
Leo, covered in grievous wounds and having several broken bones: Ew, Staten Island? Anyway lmao that sucked-
Leo, with a paper cut: My LIFE is OVER I am SUFFERING I am DYING I leave all my comics to Mikey, Raph gets my posters and figurines, April can have everything else in my room, I guess Dad can have my swords, Donnie you get NOTHING until you admit I was RIGHT back when-
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#100% Leo was the type to be like I can’t come to training I broke a nail#nah I can’t exercise today I stubbed my toe#what do you mean I can’t go out it’s JUST a flesh wound (said flesh wound is still actively bleeding)#*eight thousand puns about the terrible injuries he has just completely downplaying them*#guess a shell’s not all it’s cracked up to be! (he says with a cracked shell)#it’s CANON it is
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Aquarium Trip with TF141
Because I fish I could go with them lmao, assuming that it's a big group trip
Captain John Price
Ever the leader of the group, he's making sure that everyone is keeping their phone on vibrate or low volume so no one can end up being a straggler who they have to go on a man hunt for
He wants everyone to at least be able to enjoy themselves but he's not going to be chasing them down, desperately trying to find them in the crowd. Just occasionally check your phones and you'll be all set. He's still as observant as always, keeping an eye out and his head in the game, even if he's supposed to be "Relaxing". He's a firm believer in never being too certain or wary
The group trip was more or less mandated as a 'go do things as a group so you can stay sharp, actually use down time, and bond'. Also because Price was needing a break, as much as he said he didn't, and the only way to get him to take it is to force him out of the office
Admittedly he can't be too peeved when the others seem excited (minus Ghost but what can you expect), AND there are a bunch of cute fish and creatures alike to look at
He takes his time with the exhibits - he's stopping to read the cards and identify the fish and other critters. Pair up with him if you want to actually take a breath and enjoy the experience at a reasonable pace
He'll content to just follow in the footsteps of the others and enjoy the day as much as he can, for once, taking it as it is. It's nice to not have to constantly lead or direct when they're fine doing their own thing and he can do his
It's not often he gets any form of time off or relaxation so you bet your ass he's trying his best to do such and make the most of the day he was forced to take. It's a conscious effort, too. He's so used to being in work mode that shutting that off is near impossible
It's why he doesn't go alone and someone is ending up as his buddy. Having someone there to talk can help get him out of his own head and focus on the present moment. You may have to snap him out of it every so often as he keeps thinking too much, it's a habit
Not to mention he likes having somebody there to tell his stories to. Idle chatter helps distract and helps him get closer to those around him. He's well aware he's often work focused so it is quite needed to shift his attention to the human aspect of it. His humanity is often hanging on by a thin thread so doing what he can to reconnect is vital to keep his head screwed on straight and to remind him what he's fighting for
You'll likely end up with him, sitting and watching the ocean tank - full of fish and sharks alike. It's an ever changing environment yet repetitive all the same, it puts him at ease to simply watch. He's quite fond of the stingrays. They remind him of himself :) (as in they can be hidden in plain sight and can kill you in an instant)
Lieutenant Simon "Ghost" Riley
Despite the fact he would rather not be out in public when possible, he didn't exactly protest the idea of the aquarium. Sure, it could be busy but that means he can walk off undetected and hide in whatever dark corner he so pleased until they were done. He was already planning that from the get go
Seeing as his father used animals to psychologically abuse him during his childhood, he's usually quite reluctant to be around them and usually isn't much of a fan. It's not that he hates them, he knows it isn't their fault, he's just... Weary.
He knows that they won't and can't do anything to him, especially behind glass, but there's always that nagging fear and persistent memories that haunt him that urge him to stick to the shadows and wait it out
He has a reason to avoid pretty much every tank. Eels? Like water snakes, too slimy. Jellyfish? Remind him of being stung on a beach off the Gulf of Mexico. Otters? He's sharing with you the unfun otter facts of what messed up animal stuff they do
Yes, he is an utter stick in the mud. He is well aware of that. But the fact that he's even there to begin with is significant progress. It's like voluntary exposure therapy - he's at least trying to work through it, bit by bit. Having the team there helps and they're aware of what is going on, so they simply give him the space he needs to work out his own emotions. No one is there to judge, they're just there to have fun
They all check in on him to see how he's holding up. You're absolutely welcomed to too, or you can spend some time hanging out with him, exchanging terrible fish jokes to help lighten the mood. Just don't expect to go around with him or have him follow through the exhibits
Simon knows he wanted to push past a barrier of some kind aside from simply being there, so he decided to pick a singular exhibit to actually visit on his own - it would be a way for him to reclaim some more autonomy and prove his thoughts and past couldn't get the best of him. Naturally, he picked the shark one
While he's well aware of the danger sharks pose, he's not actually had a bad experience with sharks... Yet. Their reputation is usually a lot worse than they are. Plus, you know exactly what you're getting into when it comes to them. You know what to expect. It's not like they're hiding their teeth or the fact that they're apex predators
He'll sit on a bench pressed to the wall, watching them idly swim about from a safe distance. He never said he was getting close, but watching them and not instantly being flung back to his worser memories is a HUGE step forwards. Instead, he's a bit more surprised at how he can actually enjoy seeing them move. Seeing such powerful creatures there in the flesh is so much greater than how they appear on TV or in books
Not that he'll admit it, but he relates to them. He too is an extraordinary killer, feared by most, yet understood by few. Many judge based on his appearance alone and misassume, when he's simply trying to live his life no matter the hand that's been dealt to him
He wouldn't protest if you sat with him and watched the sharks for a while in silence. For a man who isn't fond of animals, there's no denying the softness in his eyes as they swim past
Sergeant Kyle "Gaz" Garrick
You'll probably actually enjoy hanging around him the most, he's the best buddy to have for trips. He's pretty much following Price if he's not rushing ahead with Soap. He's a bit more mindful in the sense that he will pause and look back, even back tracking to rejoin if they were getting too carried away
He's not the most well versed in all animal facts but he will happily tell you some of what he knows as you pass the exhibits. Did you know most piranhas are actually herbivores? Not the ones you're looking at, those ones are carnivores, but most species are. They're usually quite harmless. Usually. Not during dry season but that's different-
He's quite happy to see a variety of wildlife, from the smallest coral to the hulking fish. He can't say he's exactly used to it or that he's one who keeps an eye out for those things, but it's nice to see. It at least allows him to get a look at things he may otherwise never see or experience
Learning about them is important too because what if he needs it one day in the field??? Being able to identify what's around him, including the animals, can be super helpful. He isn't going snorkeling or to a coral reef any time soon but still, just in case. Gaz is smart, he will ALWAYS take a learning opportunity when he can
He's the one who already has the itinerary for the day with all the shows and educational events, and you BET he is on top of them and is going to go see them all
Please attend with him - he's usually the one picked out of the crowd because he's got the perfect energy. Winning smile? Winning heart? Winning attitude? It's hard NOT to notice him. He already has bad jokes in store and can win over the audience too
You just have to be cool with sitting front row and potentially in the splash zone. He's not sitting in the back, who knows when he gets to do this next? Also, why would you not want to be up close?? You're at an aquarium, there's water, you're going to get wet - that should be PART of the experience
You're both probably going to get a picture with an otter before the day is done
As cool as the other animals are, he's absolutely a fish person. He thinks they're extremely underrated for what they are. There's SO many different kinds of fish and colors too! How can you NOT enjoy that?
He's spending extra time in the coral reef and the fresh water areas because he loves how immersive they are - and just how many fish they have swimming around without many other animals. It is a glimpse into a world we never get to see
He also loves the octopi and squid. Creatures that can camouflage and ambush??? Absolutely wonderful, as far as he's concerned. He loves how intelligent they are too and how underestimated they can be
Stick near him, you won't regret it. He's great company and can happily talk about the different fish all day - and maaaaybe will just revisit a few of the tanks he especially liked (he's already calculating how to get a beta fish by the time you get back)
Sergeant John "Soap" MacTavish
To no one's surprise, he's leading the charge in. He is absolutely EXCITED about this. Cool animals??? A day with people who he cares about????? Sign him up
The group really just loosely follows him to start. He's got a solid game plan and is watching the crowd to see which is the least crowded area so that you can get the best view
Like I said, he's a man with a plan. Gaz might have the itinerary but he's the one scoping out the floor and already trying to figure out the game plan so you can stick together and see what you actually want to see
He naturally has a presence that can make others move out of the way. One look at extremely buff Scottish man who can have the meanest resting bitch face, and they'll move. That's not even including that you're being followed by three other not so short men. At least it makes for great crowd clearance and he knows it - and yes, he's using it to his advantage
Like Gaz, he too is reading the cards and is quite happy to learn about the creatures there. Not as thoroughly as Price, but he's still at least actively reading and trying to note things down in his mind
He's the one who makes the slightly inappropriate comments out of instinct, forgetting that there may be kids nearby. In his defense, he's not used to that - usually it's just adults. But he can't himself from going "Look of the size of that bloody bastard" while pointing at a grouper
His comments make for great banter, usually it's with Gaz - seeing as Ghost disappeared almost the second after they stepped in. "These little shits can function without a brain" - "Oh, so that makes the two of you :)" . It's like that the entire time, just a lot of back and forth - and yes, it's hilarious
He's not rushing through the exhibits but he certainly is sidetracked when there's so many things to look at and see. It's really a matter of what is catching his eye and why - there's so much to do and so many things he didn't know. It's VERY exciting for him in the best way
Whenever there's a creature he particularly admires, he'll actually stop and sketch it out, jotting down some notes about it in the margins of his sketchbook too. He brought a few colored pencils but it's really mostly just plain pencil
He's actually quite a good artist! As long as he has a wee bit of time to get the rough lines down, he can finish it off later really nicely. But he'd prefer to take his time. The aquarium is a great place for him to practice things like plant life and moving creatures
You're welcome to sit beside him and watch as he draws - or better yet, draw with him if you brought a sketchbook of your own. It fills in for some of the quieter time if you're blessed with a calmer exhibit. If you're lucky, he might even draw something so you can color it in as you wait for the group to catch up
Admittedly, he likes the piranhas. They're known and have a fierce reputation for a reason, but he in particular likes the shimmer of their scales and finds them to be under appreciated in that regard. He finds them beautiful and they're a lot more than their teeth alone
Naturally he also likes any otters or mammals too. He'll usually end up entertaining them, especially if they're seals - they're such funny creatures - they remind him of the seals he saw on the coast whenever he visited as a kid
BONUS
König
Seeing he isn't apart of the group, you'd actually run into him in NORMAL civilian style clothes (still wearing a surgical mask, albeit) if you wandered off on your own or got a bit too ahead - leaving the boys behind
Assuming that you don't happen to know him here, but it was at the seahorse tank. With the little seahorses clinging to the bits of plants that they had, here was this big guy with an utterly adoring expression on his face as he stared at them
He nearly jumped out of his skin when you made your appearance and commented about how neat they were
He couldn't help but to agree, they're such fascinating creatures and they're so tiny. It's a wonder how something that's the size of the tip of his finger can live like that
The whole reason he was at the aquarium was because he liked animals - and because his therapist recommended he get a bit more out of his comfort zone to further work on his social anxiety. Getting exposed to new environments at his pace would do him good in the long run. While he's been fine and can absolutely manage, he does want to push himself to come more out of his shell and to be more comfortable in his every day life. Plus, he has only one life, he needs to live it some
He also wasn't used to seeing so many aquatic animals - it would be something different, something that maybe could give him some ideas later down the line for some of his crafts. And it's a good reminder of how vibrant and diverse the world we live in is. It's easy to forget when you're surrounded by blood and gore all the time
Usually, people are quite intimidated by him, so he was surprised that anyone came up and even tried to say anything to him. But talking about seahorses and the other animals here was a LOT easier than talking about himself or anything else he usually had to default to
When you asked if he'd seen the moon jellies or the crabs yet, and he said no, how could you resist showing him right where they are and pointing them out? He'll love them! They're silly little guys like the sea horses
He's admittedly a bit flustered from the attention and having someone actually want to talk to him, but he finds it easier to open up and naturally when you're just... yourself. And clearly quite excited about being there - or more expressive of it than him
You sort of happen to end up walking along with him, chatting about all the different types of animals there are and what you like about them, or making comments about what they're doing and laughing about it
As awkward as he is - he's still got his sense of humor and charm about him underneath that you uncover as you get him to open up, even just a little bit
It's only when he sees your group at a distance and the recognition of who they are dawns on him . He backs away when you wave to them, making the connection. What a terrible coincidence - but the last thing he wants to do is create issues, especially when he's here to enjoy his day - and he's not wanting a fight, not right now. And especially not in civilian gear or in a place where they all can be banned from
(They do not get along in the slightest, trust me, it would not be pretty if they happened to put two and two together. There's not that many Austrians that tall who happen to have scars like he does)
He's back to making excuses as he back pedals trying to get out of sight before any of them see, but not before slipping you his number. After all, it would be such a shame to let such a good connection go to waste :)
#cod#call of duty#cod modern warfare#call of duty x reader#reader insert#gender neutral reader#könig call of duty#konig cod#könig x reader#captain price#john price#captain price x reader#simon riley#ghost cod#ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#kyle gaz garrick#gaz x reader#gaz#soap mactavish#john mactavish x reader#john soap mactavish#konig x reader#john price x reader#simon ghost riley#its been in my head it would be SUCH a fun time#can't convince me otherwise. and i AM making a bunch of terrible fish puns#soap x reader
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For anyone confused by the new Castlevania animated series trailer, after seeing Trevor be fully martial for four seasons, you have to understand that there's a spectrum of how magical any given Belmont is.
You can call it the Richter scale.
#netflix castlevania#castlevania#castlevania netflix#castlevania nocturne#trevor belmont#richter belmont#terrible puns#the gods gave me the ability to type and I've decided to make that everyone's problem
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DM: She pulls out a large rock and speaks into it...
Me, OOC: Oh my God, it's a rockie-talkie!
DM: [After a solid 30 seconds of laughter] I have never heard anyone call a Sending Stone a "rockie-talkie".
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Oh, it's June! The famous PIRATE month! 🏳🌈🏴☠️
*fingers crossed for OFMD S2 trailer this month*
#our flag means death#ofmd#ofmd fanart#ofmd season 2#pride month#pirate month#pun intended#sorry im terrible at humor#I just want all my fandoms to be happy#our flag means love#pride flag#lgbtq
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Pearl Jam? Hell yeah she does!
Lookin’ fabulous Pearl! I spent a ridiculous amount of time on this just for one silly pun, but I think it was worth it because this was the most annoying pose I could have possibly chosen, and I think it came out pretty good. 👍
on another note, Pearl Jam is a good band, u should listen. Joel fans more educated on Jeremyism: please give me a ramble connecting Pearl Jam’s song Jeremy to Jeremyism. I will read it.
#pearlesentmoon fanart#pearlescentmoon#pearl fanart#pearlecentmoon fanart#pearlescent moon#guys one of the tags for her is misspelled and I don’t know which one help#terrible puns
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He’s so done
(based on this)
#Murdock can’t put up with this anymore#help I can’t read puns anymore without thinking of Friede#pokemon#pokemon horizons#pokeani#anipoke#Murdock#friede#professor friede#pokemon friede#pokemon murdock#murdock pokemon#friede pokemon#cocosnowlo#terrible puns
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You’ve heard of Elf on a Shelf
Now get ready for Wisp on a Crisp
#genshin impact#genshin fanart#fanart#原神#art#digital illustration#venti#genshin#ok I’m sure this joke has been done to death#but hehehehe#I’m laughing at my own terrible pun#I look in the mirror and suddenly I understand cyno#I’ve been enlightened#wisp venti
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astral projection thoughts for mcu mk from awhile ago
#whoops i forgot to post this here#originally posted on my ao3 back in june last year#moon knight#my art#steven grant#jake lockley#marc spector#is panicking in the backseat along with steven#marvel#sorry about the terrible panel puns(im not)#to quote my ao3:#not seen is khonshu immediately after realizing what's happened slam dunking jake back into the body
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