#that was a struggle lol but they kept trying

[cherubshert]

contents: Cheating and mentions of pregnancy, angst

a/n: I recently realized i hadn't written for wonnie, I think :0, idk y this was the idea i could come up with. I physically cringe at the mention of pregnancy, I hate the thought so much lol, but I needed sth dramatic. not proofread, I love writing angst and leaving it open ended it satisfies my thirst for evil ^^ also requests r open, this is just fiction, not real !!

"I'm sorry." Jungwon awkwardly murmurs, clutching your hand tightly despite you trying to pull out of his grip. Your free hand cups your face, soft sobs leaving your lips.

"Please, I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but..." he cups your hand with his other hand, struggling to look up into your eyes. "I still want us to work, I swear, I want to fix this"

"She meant nothing to me." You can't help but cry harder, the weight of his secrets leaving you stuck between your love and a growing hatred.

"She's pregnant, I can't understand how you expect to fix this." you manage to say, your water filled eyes staring into his. "I'm not going to take you from her."

He shakes his head, pulling your hand to his lips, desperately plead with his eyes. "I'm not hers, I'm yours, I've always been yours, please, please let me try to fix this. I can't do without you."

"You did perfect enough without me when you went to her. Even if she wasn't pregnant, the fact that this happened and you still hid this from me for so long. Lying that you've only been loyal to me, knowing you haven't been. I can't forgive that."

You finally managed to pull your hand away, "If i hadn't seen her message you'd have kept this fully under covers, and continued lying to me. Probably would have gone behind my back again."

"I wouldn't have, i swear, I really fucking swear, I went to her out of anger, I didn't mean for things to get this far, please."

"I never cheated on you in any emotional state of mine, happy, angry or sad. The fact that that's what you did tells me enough." you stand up, wiping away remnants of tears.

His hand holds your arm, stopping your progress forward. "please kiss me, please let me hold you one more time, I need you really bad right now." Your heart folds at the tears that stain his cheeks, his sorrow almost mirroring yours.

"Let me go Jungwon."

[conhex]

Im so sorry about this yap but I have thoughts about this stream

So for a bit of context, I find cKab's character super interesting specially in contrast with the server and it's players because her expectations are very... odd? The reason I say this is because she's already super stubborn from the get-go, by this I do mean that a good example is when during her Cali Girls time she was dead set on making him miserable because she disliked his morals, which she had misunderstood and refused to acknowledge she may be wrong until way later on... and this does shine up in most lore yaps with the fact she rarely backs down and misconstrues what is said to support her bias then like the whole wanting an unconditional ally/friend when she herself is very conditional and is likely to turn around at the slightest hint of conflict, because I'm honestly shocked? impressed? how quickly she was ready to drop Zam when he didn't let her walk over his boundaries, wasn't willing to prioritize her over his own goals/safety and also kept expecting more without ever voicing it. I really do find it interesting that she insists that she is unconditional, then does this

and adding onto it, I've kinda seen the tendency to try having a hand over her allies? because the whole projecting onto Zam because he wanted to be independent and didn't take the armor, then trying to prod into devotions when they were at the tree farm (the whole "Would you ever betray Zam?") and... it's so odd, it almost seems like she wants to be in a position where they can't afford to betray her but she knows where to aim for in case she betrays I'm already struggling to put everything into words, but I honestly do enjoy her character, I'm curious how this arc will continue and idk if I hope she gets better or worse lol!

[rootspiral]

Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 5 part 4

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4])

(this is a sad one, apologies in advance)

agatha just had the unimaginably traumatic experience of her mother's evil ghost possessing her body, so of course she cracks jokes. she's shaking like a leaf, but hey, coping mechanism gotta cope!

when evanora tried to execute agatha, stealing secrets or whatever was only an excuse, she was punishing her daughter for the sin of being born. whatever she says, her so called worry for these other witches is also an excuse. she's simply furious that someone has begun to think of agatha as a person rather than a monster. it's once again a selfless VS selfish paradox, evanora is always framing her actions as selfless and for the greater good, but her hatred for agatha is undeniably raw and personal. I would love to learn what evanora's life was like, who were her parents? what turned her into such a hateful mother?

(look at how angry rio already is. and alice always protecting the person closest to her by default.)

this is the ultimate humiliation for agatha, someone who has always kept her past and struggles so close to the chest. now one of her deepest traumas is laid bare for everyone to see and judge. she's always trying to come off as strong and unfeeling and formidable, but here she is, a sad little girl abused by her own mother.

btw I see you all have strong feelings about ghosts and billy's powers! lol I got so many comments. I see you, I see you! Granted I'm not actually super invested in my ghost theories, this being a made up marvel show and all, but here's what I think:

agatha says to wanda, "you have no idea how dangerous you are, you're supposed to be a myth, a being capable of spontaneous creation, and here you are, using it to make breakfast for dinner!" agatha, one of the most powerful witches ever existed, could not create food for nicky. like, the scope of wanda's powers (and billy's by extension) is the kind of scary that can reshape reality itself and truly and properly fuck up the Sacred Balance or whatever rio calls it.

when I say billy created a ghost evanora, yes it's a copy but in the same way a Star Trek transporter makes a copy, you know what I mean? whether the orignal stays behind or not, billy's evanora is the real evanora. and if you believe in souls, that gets even more complicated! did billy take evanora's soul from the afterlife and plopped her in here, or did it copy it too? and was wanda actually able to create billy's and tommy's or did she catch the wandering soul of stillborn twins?

see I don't think evanora was a ghost prior to this (again, I might be proven wrong in the future, but this is where I'm at right now). if that were the case, you know she'd been haunting agatha's ass, wouldn't have given her a moment of peace. maybe rio took extra care to send her to the afterlife, idk. now rio looks shocked and angry to see evanora, like this is a new development.

rio's voice is literally roaring with anger

like i cannot overstate how much rio hates and despises evanora for what she did to agatha

evanora zeroes in on rio, approaches. rio takes a whole step back and makes herself smaller. she's nervous. she says that ghosts are cheaters, but it goes beyond that, doesn't it? rio understands life and death, but a ghost is neither, or both. it goes beyond all her control and expertise, and for the first time since we've known her, she's at a disadvantage. ironic, isn't it, considering what happens to agatha in the finale?

agatha, who's been cowering in a corner, chooses this moment to approach. does she want to protect rio and billy and the others? or is she so desperate for an ounce of love and affection from her mother that she, coward as she is, actually wants to put herself in arm's way?

while everyone is focused on agatha, alice looks at rio. she is putting together evanora's words, agatha's terror and rio's hatred. jen is being selfish. alice, generous alice, could never be selfish

the last time agatha saw her mother she was still a kid. now she is a mother herself and the mere thought of not loving, not wanting to protect your child, of actually going out of your way to harm them? it's simply inconceivable to her.

the shock. the tears forming in her eyes. the same heartbreak she felt when she realized her mom was about to kill her at the stake. she's feeling small and wretched and unloved like only a parent can make you feel

it's the matter-of-fact tone she uses. it's worse than hatred. she despises agatha beyond hatred

there is a moment in a child's life when they see a parent clearly for the first time, their weakness and their flaws. this is especially true for an abused child, it comes a day when you realize that despite being called bad and evil and blamed for the pain happening, it was never really your fault. agatha knows what a parent's love should look like now. and this is not it.

rio visibly deflates. she is the only person in the room agatha opened up with about her mother. there is nothing she can do to spare her pain now. she has no power against evanora

alice has a blinding moment of shock, realization, pity. she knows only too well what generational pain and trauma can do to a person. but she still had a mother who loved her. agatha didn't.

jen, who used to be a healer, can no longer feel compassion. jen has had to learn to protect herself above all others. because evanora hurt agatha, and agatha hurt jen in return.

and when it's all said and done, agatha will always beg. all her power, her brains, her experiences are nothing. she regress to that girl at the stake. I can be good. please.

alice, who's always been the first to jump to everyone's defense, who always puts others before herself. she has seen agatha bare and helpless, she has seen that raw core that agatha has always hidden and, in her final moments, she's accepted agatha in her coven. it's more instinct than rationality, but alice has always been a heart over head kinda girl. if she can see the harpy, if she can see the pain, by GOD she'll do something about it.

“The Knight of Wands.” full of fire, fights bravely.

lilia's gut-wrenching scream. she knows what is happening. agatha already told her.

a succubus who hasn't fed in so long. I keep thinking, there was never anybody who loved her enough to teach her control, to seek alternative solutions to satiate her hunger. rio never could, rio cannot interfere with who lives and who dies. but could a coven together have fed her? could a big coven have donated power little by little, and kept her safe and valued and protected? nurtured her in every way? or was she always doomed from the start? was evanora's right, did alice sign her death warrant the moment she chose to love agatha? I know what my answer is to all that, but what do you guys think?

and another question for you: billy casts around desperately for help, nicky answers. was nicky, or rather a shadow of nicky, created by billy too? or was the son of Death powerful enough and scared enough to reach out on his own, maybe with just a little push on billy's part?

a name was all it took for agatha to pass her trial, and look how much was needed to get it out of her. only billy's chaos could do the impossible: drag agatha's ravaged and wrecked heart to the surface. billy only wanted to help her heal, but he's a just a boy with the power to shape the universe. it took evoking ghosts and dredging up horrible trauma to make all of agatha's defenses crumble and raw-beat her into admitting her pain, into maybe, if we're lucky, starting on the road to recovery. oh, billy. you don't know how to handle things gently yet, with your big man's hands and your young, too young soul.

she stops IMMEDIATELY. she didn't know how to control her hunger, until now. the monster was human all along

by. as in, by billy, because he did it all. and also, good-bye. good-bye, mama.

oh, alice. there are no words.

and now they're no longer just numbers, just fools she conned and killed and abandoned on the road. now it's the girl with the big luminous heart, who sang the Ballad with her, who shared her same pain, the first human being in agatha's life who wanted to selflessly help her.

there is a moment, in a child's life, when they see a parent clearly for the first time.

[utvarpcity]

YYEHEHAHHAAAHAHEH

[sysig]

Growing closer than expected (Patreon)

[hplonesomeart]

Whoops hand slipped here’s some TADC character fanart. Apologies for the severe lack of Pomni in this one idk where she went off to…maybe she got lost on her way to find the exit. The lines are incredibly choppy & rushed, I know, but it was still fun art practice! I don’t draw these guys nearly enough anyways so this is a nice change of pace. Support indie animation :3

[itspileofgoodthings]

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[tomatoshapedstars]

I love interacting with non-transformers fans because I'll just be identifying them easily and they're like "??? wow you really are not normal about this huh" and I'm over here just "well you need to know which one's which to know what's going on" "nah you're just not normal about this"

[tianshiisdead]

This post is not an invitation for sinophobia piss off

God hanfu spaces can be so vile 💀 using 'manchu' and 'dog' so interchangeably is crazy, reason 10339405060 why I never look into the comments of Twitter posts abt hanfu

[rosicheeks]

I hope your days aren't as heavy and dark, I am sending all the positive thoughts your way. You deserve the best, fairy princess. <3

😭

[punkalope]

called to set up an appointment again. hoping ill get in tomorrow bc last week they called me back and i was asleep 😵‍💫

[robinsnest2111]

dreamt Randy and Benson were my coworkers at the movie theater!!! 👀

[sydmarch]

during q&a awsten said if otto was to serial kill him it would be "a crime of passion"... not beating the awtto allegations

[smute]

back on my meds (trial basis) after i saw some dangerous side effects last year and had to stop completely for a few months. in retrospect im not even sure if it actually was a side effect or just a coincidence but anyway, it's always such a shock to see the contrast between my unmedicated and my medicated self 🥲

[niaotix]

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[trendfag]

havent been doing my english work so i made an appointment with the student support services that emailed me about it and it was so shit 😭