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i did wrestling in middle school. on one hand, i was actually quite good at it, which was nice. being good at any sport was a new achievement for me. on the other hand, i was bi, and i was trying very hard not to notice that i was bi, and getting folded into knots by very kind, very muscular dorks made that task somewhat difficult.
adding fire to the problem was that my parents and my grandparents wanted to watch my matches, because they were very proud that their Gangly Nerd Son was actually Sporting, and they wanted to cheer me on. which would've been sweet and all, but if there are four people you do not want there during a key part of your Burgeoning Sexual Awakening, it is your mom and your dad and your grandma and your grandpa.
right? i mean, imagine some guy's got your head in his armpit, and you're going you know, old sweat smells bad, but fresh sweat has a sort of and then you make eye contact with your grandpa in the stands and you remember you're swearing spandex so if you pop a boner people aren't just going to be able to see the outline, they're going to be able to count the veins, and the only way you will be able to restore your family's honor after that would be by moving to siberia and renouncing joy, forever. that, or lift your entire body up by your kneck then twist 180 degrees without paralyzing yourself.
itâs a lot of pressure, is what iâm saying.
still it did motivate me to win my matches really fast. because i was so tall and skinny, i was stupidly good at the double leg takedown, and then once someone was knocked down, i'd just do the half nelson and kind of flip em over for the pin. then the ref would count to three and iâd win. EZPZ.
i had one match where that went great. won in the first ten seconds, sat back down, and prepared myself for a good hour or two of doing fuck all. didn't even feel bad the parents/grandparents were gonna be bored. the matches went up from me in 5 pound increments (i was in the 115 lbs division) and it was going great until we got to the 145 lbs division. the other school's wrestler stepped onto the mat, and she turned out to be a girl so our guy flipped, because for straight guys, wrestling a girl is not a pleasant experience.
i'm not entirely unsympathetic. my experience wrestling dudes was definitely a little traumatic. but also, i dealt. guy could've dealt too. instead, he refused to wrestle, and the coach went - fine. not even worth fighting over.
so he went to the 140 pounder, and that guy said, nosir, my mom said mormons can't wrestle girls. next guy down, 135 pounder, now he knew he could pull the same card and thus did. 130 pounder, 125, both tapped out. he got to the 120 guy, and that guy was catholic, but he said he was considering being mormon, and thus would have to pass. as a precaution.
coach blew up a little at that. he said "is there anyone - anyone - on this entire goddamn team that is willing to wrestle a girl?" and then he pointed at me and said "YOU. MAT. GO."
and i'll be real, if i'd been paying more attention, i'd have pulled the mormon card too, but i'd just been putting all that audio into a buffer file because i was reading, so i was halfway across the mat before i even processed what had been said and by then it was too late to turn back.
still i had a plan. and my plan - my beautiful, perfect plan - was to do what i'd always done. tackle, flip, pin, win. sit down. read. bore my family to death. move on.
i got the first part right. she was bigger than me, but she wasn't taller. just an incredibly stout woman. god built me like a snake with glasses, just as he built her like a combat cube. the problem was the half nelson. soon as she was down, i tried hooking my arm under hers from behind and for both genders, the defense for this move is just clamping your arms really fucking tight against your sides. if you're a guy, that's whatever, but if you're a girl - especially if you're god's chosen combat cube - that pins your opponents hand right against your boob.
so, i got the hook in, she clamped, my whole arm pressed against something soft, my coach was yelling THE HALF NELSON. BABYLON! JUST FINISH IT! FINISH THE HALF NELSON! and i was just trying to press hard enough to finish, when then my brain went
...oh.
and i flipped out. of course i flipped out. i like girls, and touching a boob is an elemental experience, and i was not ready. i was not prepared. i had not committed the sacred rites. i recoiled like i'd just brushed my arm against the surface of the sun, stood up, and backed away. nobody in the room knew why i'd given up. all they saw was me, right about to win, suddenly flailing around and scrambling. so everyone started screaming at me to just get the half nelson again, and i couldn't really yell back there's a fuckin' boob in the way and it was very distressing, and the only way i could think of to make them stop was just doing it over again the right way.
so i did.
i hunkered down and prepared myself for Wrasslin' Attempt #2: The Sequel.
i knocked her down again, EZPZ. i went for the half nelson again, but she knew what i was about to do so she super clamped, and i knew she was gonna super clamp, so i wound my arm back like a pop-eye cartoon punch before swinging my arm through the gap between her bicep and her side, but the amount of time i spent winding back super signalled what i was about to to do, which gave her time to clamp even harder, which somehow redirected the entire force of the popeye punch to the bottom of her bra.
it spat out a single boob the same way an action hero might spit out one single tooth after getting a solid crack across the jaw. as if to say:
*ptooie.* "that all you got?"
i did not actually see this. my experience was that first there was an arm, then there was a bit of boob, but i was braced, i was ready, forward at all costs, tatakae motherfuckers, and then the boob went away, and i didn't know where it went but my team, and the audience, and everyone who was in front of me, they all gasped like i just kicked them in the stomach. except for my coach. he was behind me, and thus one of the four people in the room who did not see the boob. now my mom, my dad, my grandma, and my grandpa, they all got flashed but nooooooo, coach thunderbutt was behind me, and he didn't see shit so he was still yelling NOOOOOO BABYLON WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST FINISH THE NELSON! GO FOR THE KILL! BABYLON! BABYLON!
but i did not go for the kill. i stood up and she stuffed her boob back real fast, and we just kind of circled each other awkwardly until time ran out and i won on points. that's not technically allowed, but the ref had some mercy on me.
my coach did not.
i barely had time to sit down before he strode over to the bench to chew me out.
"babylon," he said, in that very calm way people get when they're too pissed to yell. "why didn't you pin?"
and i didn't know how to say well coach, i tried, but there was a boob, and it kept getting in the way, and my mom was watching, and so was my dad, and so was his dad, and his mom, and god (like bible god) and that's a can of worms because i'm pretty sure he was already mad at me, and i'm wearing spandex, and i think i might have to move to siberia, so instead i said
"i uh. i forgot how to do the half nelson."
which is actually impossible. forgetting how to do the half nelson is like forgetting how to swallow your spit.
and he looked at me, like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked through him like i'd just survived my 250th day in a trench at verdun, and he said: fine.
fine.
but we're all going to practice it for an hour tomorrow because you forgot.
and then he left.
and my buddies had the gall to be salty about it. i got so many comments saying "dude, why didn't you just tell him the truth?" and i said "you can if you care so damn much. you could've wrestled the girl too. maybe someone else should do the hard thing today."
but they didn't. so the next day, we did an hour of half nelson drills, and i spent a decent amount of time getting thrown around the mat, and it was pleasant in exactly the way that i hated and the year after that, to the surprise of everyone but myself, i quit wrestling and joined the trivia team.
and if you want more reasons to love my mom, my grandpa joked after the match that i might have to talk to my bishop about it, and my mom told him he would be allowed to make jokes after he stood in front of a crowd of 110 people in spandex underpants while wrestling a woman that was not his wife.
he paused for almost five seconds after that. then he said: aw. hell. sorry babylon.
and i'd have preferred my apology from god, but getting it from him was pretty good too.
#whew boy this make me anxious just typing it#wrestling#middle school#the dread#i feel like i have to write some stories about my grandpa not being a dick#because he was actually an amazing grandpa#he just had a few goofs are very comedic moments#and you know if you're gonna have a goof making it comedic is a virtue in itself#he was there for me more than a lot of my classmates dads were#and i dont want that undervalued#yeah#babylon-lore
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obsessed with Her.
#looking back at my barbie phase⌠and watching barbieâŚ#my type in women is making a lot of sense to me#(femme sapphics)#barbie#barbie the movie#margot robbie#greta gerwig#artovna
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au where fiddleford decided to start forgiving and stop forgetting way earlier in his life and is just a cool guy that is bad at hiding the fact that he knows things
#i saw some people doing this and wanted to insert my own thing#because i like it a lot#like he's still a cooky mad scientist type#but he has memories and is less insane#gravity falls#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#ford pines#stanford pines#dipper pines#mabel pines#gravity falls au#myart#character design#grunkle fidds
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I feel the need to periodically remind people that Idiocracy is a eugenics movie.
One of the things that eugenicists believe is that it is bad for society when the âwrong peopleâ breed.
The entire premise of the movie is that âstupid peopleâ kept having kids while âsmart peopleâ didnât have kids, and it ruined society because stupid genes propagated while smart genes died out. This is eugenics propaganda.
I know people will read this and their response will be âactually itâs satireâ but the movie isnât satirizing eugenics. Itâs satirizing anti-intellectualism, and consumerism, and it proposes eugenics as a solution.
When eugenics was first conceived, it was used as a way to justify inequality. The idea was that people who held privilege were able to do so because they were smarter and genetically superior to lazy and stupid people who donât have privilege. Obviously this is bad and wrong, but it is also the core lesson of Idiocracy.
The movie literally ends with the main character becoming president and having âthe smartest children in the world.â Because he and his wife have smarter genes than everyone else. The proposed solution for the things that Idiocracy is satirizing is for the smart people to have children that can be in charge of the world.
I know itâs fun to use this movie to dunk on anti-intellectualism and the MAGA movement, but we need to stop. When you quote and reference this movie you are spreading eugenics propaganda.
#remember yall#eugenics is bad#and anything that says a certain type of person shouldnât have kids is probably eugenics#even if they donât realize it#so letâs stop holding this movie up as some great prophetic work#because itâs not#also good lord they say the r word a lot in that movie#and itâs super gross#ugh I hate this movie
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My favourite thing about Alastor is his hoard of gal pals!
Heâs just a cool and charming dude that women feel comfortable aroundâŚAnd is also a power hungry eldritch horror.đđđ
#grey art#fan art#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fanart#hazbin rosie#hazbin alastor#aroace#asexual icon!#Iâm so tired of oversexualised charming men Iâm so happy heâs ace#nothing but love and light for people who enjoy the dark romantic type tough!#the radio demon#men with a lot of women friends is such a green flag#heâs so villain coded tough I love this guy!#Alastor
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Asexual bird? Please
How about two asexual birds?
#ask#art request#my art#art#superb fairywren#fairywren#penguin#little penguin#australian little penguin#fairy penguin#ace#asexual#ace pride#bird art#birds#queer art#pride art#digital art#pride month#lgbtqia+#lgbtq+#queer#critter series#you get two because i couldn't decide which one i wanted to do more so i decided just to do both because i love them both#and also once i realised the fairy name connection between them i couldn't not do them together#okay well technically they're officially called little penguins but i've always know them as fairy penguins#there is actually a lot of them in the state i live. i just haven't had the chance to spot any in the wild yet#but i did see them at the sydney aquarium once. they are such lil' cuties. big fan of penguins me.#as for fairywrens. well i see 'em all the time fluttering about. definitely one of my favourite types of birds#anyway that's enough about what i like. i hope *you* like them too bluesky :3
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You know what's fun?
They seem to have made Percy more on the inattentive end of ADHD than hyperactive. Aside from the capture the flag scene, we mostly just see him zoning out, 'daydreaming', the line "I don't think it's the marshmallow's fault I never pay attention".
ADHD barely gets good representation as it is, but I don't think I've ever seen the inattentive type in media like this before. This is going to be huge for a lot of people who don't fall under the hyperactive stereotype umbrella.
I'm just really excited that more people will get the chance to see themselves.
#percy jackson#I'm actually combined type so this doesn't fully apply to me#But y'all inattentives arguably get the short end of the stick a lot of the time#So I'm genuinely thrilled for you#and that they went this direction#especially since hyperactive is probably easier to portray as adhd and have the audience get it#percy jackon and the olympians#adhd
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tim: nah man, i stay away from drugs, last time i touched that stuff i killed someone
jason: you⌠killed someone?
tim: i mean, she was resuscitated after and definitely set it up so i would kill her (i think), but you know itâs the principle of the matter right?
jason: thatâs an original experience i fear
#tim seems like the type of guy to randomly drop lore about himself then walk away.#we need to talk about how tim killed lady shiva more often#it was so badass#but also showed a lot about himself when he became upset afterwards#dc#robin#tim drake#red robin#jason todd#red hood#batman#batfam#bruce wayne#lady shiva#sandra woosan
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friendship is magic
closeups:
#zeno's art#my little pony#my litte pony friendship is magic#mlp#mlp fim#twilight sparkle#rainbow dash#fluttershy#pinkie pie#applejack#rarity#this was a fun redesign practice#tried to be diverse with body type and species as the og show is pretty limited (i understand why tho)#my personal favorites are rainbow dash and rarity#and twilight. i cooked tbh#i feel like a lot of redesigns just add accessories which is fine but i really wanted to change a lot#some more than others#also dashie is a half zebra and pegasus and fluttershy is half pegasus half those little bug ponies that showed up in one ep#pinkie is a sheep#i might do equestria girl designs and slash or some background pony redesigns#idk#enough ramble
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i was talking with a friend a couple days ago about love songs and i can't stop thinking about this
#polls#the song we were talking about was fair by#the amazing devil#crush#crushcore#love#lovecore#romance#romancecore#heartcore#idk how many other -cores there are#aromantic#love songs#euhm please reblog this i want this to reach a lot of people but im embarrassed to type out this many tags#polls on tumblr#1k
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as much as i appreciate the intent of the âbeing disabled doesnât make you a burdenâ type posts, i donât really agree. a lot of times being disabled DOES make you a burden
& i think that maybe we should try to shift focus to the fact that even if youâre a huge burden on society and can contribute absolutely nothing, youâre still a human being who deserves to exist.
like. thereâs nothing morally wrong with being a burden on other people. you arenât a bad person for needing to rely on others. youâre allowed to be a burden & disabled people who are burdens on others, i love you
#sorry ive seen a lot of the âyoure not the burden itâs your illness thatâs the burden on youâ type posts#and i appreciate what youâre trying to say but like fr ur allowed to be a burden#thats part of being a person. itâs ok#disability#disabled#chronic fatigue#chronic pain#0
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Remember to take breaks.
Your paws are tired, little beast. Rest your legs.
Your claws have put in their work for today. Let them be idle if they must.
Your wings have carried you far, flying friend. They need to recharge.
Your teeth have brought you through tough times. Rest your jaws, as their job is never over.
Your eyes have shown you the world and beyond. Show them solace if just for a few minutes.
If not you, who will care for your body? And what of your soul? Your entire being needs its time. Don't deny it.
#alterbeing#alterhuman#therian#yourtherianparentsays#otherkin#nonhuman#holothere#nonhumanity#dragonkin#physically nonhuman#remember these tags are for general reach and you dont need to be any certain type of therian kin or otherwise to interact with my posts#i am here for all of my alterhuman and nonhuman family and those who dont fit into those labels all the same#cryptidkin#wolf therian#shapeshifterkin#i hope these loosely poetic-esque posts bring someone some sort of peace even for a moment#therianthropy#dog therian#fox therian#therian things#cat therian#its gotten too rough out there for a lot of you i know and im sorry
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i think im liking daisuke trans hc a ltitle too much Okay byeee
#mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#ew#i mean#jakarta#jonathan#typing his tag felt like a lot of work !
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Guys. Guys theyâre miners. Theyâre tiny cogless miners. Guys
I blacked out and filled the whole three canvases with sketches of them being itty bitty goobers. Figured Imma show you some haha
#maccadam#transformers#prowl#jazz#tf one#transformers one#tf one jazz#tf one prowl#jazzprowl#<- if you want it to be haha#I canât stop thinking#like#I check ao3 very regularly and#okay bruh just. I know the movie absolutely wasnt about Jazz nor Prowl but I still feel the urge to write something about them#just like. slice of life thing but considering their life is kinda sucks because of the whole no-cog thing#Jazz talks smth like twice for the whole movie and Prowl doesnât talk at all. Thatâs a lot of creative freedom to write haha#I want them to do their classic stealth missions type of shit but this time without any actual support from any kind of system#you get me#they both usually have some kind of command structure behind them. I want them to be absolutely broke low class tiny goobers#and still manage to pull their usual shady crazy stuff#idk#something like that
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nothing makes me more insane than the phrase "selling your body" btw. like was i not also selling my body at every other job i've had where i had to be on my feet all day, lifting boxes, working in a warehouse, etc. why is it that sex work is uniquely labeled as "selling your body" while every other job is sorted into another category, no matter how much that job might have a physical impact on your body. lmao.
#personal#sw#in fact i have had worse long term physical effects from my jobs that were not sw. as a matter of fact#anyway also related conversation to be had about how most of the human trafficking in the US is not sex trafficking but is in fact other#types of labor that is trafficked#and that if you include prison labor as human trafficking based on different definitions. there is a lot of important connections we can dr#draw. about labor. power. control. and how to build solidarity to actually fight for people's right to free + safe working conditions and#self determination
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Now, you can take that as a gift, or you can take it as a curse. And that's up to you.
Eliot Spencer and Parker Doing the Things Others Wonât
Leverage (2008-2012)
04x01 The Long Way Down Job
05x09 The Rundown Job
#this parallel came to me like a fever dream last night#and I had to share the sadness with others#and then this sent me on a spiral about communication types between the ot3#Parker and Eliot understand each other so well#and a lot of what they have is silent communication#like that nod in the rundown job#between Parker and Hardison#direct communication#necessary and developed when figuring out their feelings#between Hardison and Eliot#physical and indirect communication#(ex: handshake bumping each other bickering)#I could write an essay#but instead I will leave you with this gifset#leverage#the long way down job#the rundown job#inde gifs#inde gifs: the long way down job#inde gifs: the rundown job#Eliot Spencer#Parker#inde gifs: leverage parallels#leverage parallels#fudge I need to reaclimate to tumblr fonts and heirarchy#I had no idea where to put the quote#graphic design degree and for what#inde gifs: leverage ot3#leverage ot3
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