#that type is disaster wizard

[dayntee]

Sitting here, pretending who I’m gonna romance is gonna be some kind of hard choice when I know I have a TYPE -

[dayntee]

Ugh I love this fucking disaster wizard.

Give me the dumbest smart men any day of the week.

it will never not be intensely funny to me that this banter between karlach and gale only triggers after the weave scene lmao

protag: mind projects a romantic walk with just the two of them holding hands tenderly / a passionate kiss

gale: i (i mean NOT me) detected a HINT ☝️ of romantic interest MAYBE 🤔

[spcartmanweek]

💛 Welcome to Cartman Week 2025! Cartman Week is a character appreciation week celebrating the one and only Eric Cartman! The event will run from February 10th - February 16th. We accept and encourage all types of fanwork including fanart, fanfiction, playlists, edits, and graphics.

🩵 Make sure to tag your posts #CartmanWeek2025 so we can find and share your work!

✍️ For writers we have an AO3 collection under the name “CartmanWeek2025”. To add your fic to the collection, type that name into the “Post to Collections/Challenges” input box when adding your work, and it should appear.

❤️ Late submissions will be accepted, as will entries posted on the “wrong” day! We will be sharing submissions up to one month after the event ends.

💛 If you have any questions, feel free to send us an ask!

🩵 Don't forget to read our carrd for more information. You can also find us on Bluesky and Twitter/X!

❤️ Read ahead for a written list of prompts with explanations. Remember: You can be as loose with the prompts as you want, and you can mix-and-match as you see fit. It’s up to your interpretation. Have fun!

Day 1 | Toys / Favorite Snacks

★ Toys - After all, this is a guy who loves his dollies and action figures. This prompt is dedicated to Cartman and his toys! Tea parties, cowboy shootouts, complex and tragic murder mysteries… Get creative!

★ Favorite Snacks - Cheesy poofs, Snacky Cakes, cereal bombs… This prompt is all about Cartman enjoying his favorite snacks, however you would like to portray it.

Day 2 | Fun Day Out / Animals

★ Fun Day Out - This one is self-explanatory! A fun day out could be to Casa Bonita or to a theme park or just a nice day with all his friends who love him soooo much.

★ Animals - Animals can be anything from Cartman spending time with his pets (Mr. Kitty and/or Fluffy the pig) to portraying Cartman as an animal, furry, or kemonomimi.

Day 3 | Fighting / Scheme

★ Fighting - This guy will fight with anyone, so let’s see it! It could be a fight between Cartman and a known rival like Kyle or Wendy, or a fight with his mom, the school, the government, the world!

★ Scheme - He’s always scheming, this one… This prompt can be dedicated to a plot he’s already devised on the show, or a brand new nasty trick from your imagination.

Day 4 | Family / Fate

★ Family - Cartman and family! Liane, Scott Tenorman, a bowl of chili, Post COVID Cartman with his wife and kids, or your own AU family/fankids!

★ Fate - What this prompt means is up to your interpretation. The fate of Cartman’s future, the red string of fate with your favorite ship… There is no wrong answer!

Day 5 | Valentine’s Day / Alter-ego

★ Valentine’s Day - Today is Valentine’s Day, and we picked this week to dedicate to our favorite matchmaker because of it! Is his day as wonderful as he always hoped? Or a complete disaster? You decide!

★ Alter-ego - A man of many personalities. From Cupid Me to Mitch Conner to wizard Cartman and beyond. This prompt is dedicated to your favorite Cartman alias!

Day 6 | Dress-up / Performance

★ Dress-up - A prompt to get fancy with! Drag, costumes, formal attire, etc. Pick your favorite Cartman outfit or design/describe a new one!

★ Performance - This prompt is dedicated to Cartman’s love of outlandish performance! Some examples are Cartman with one of his various musical pursuits (Fingerbang, Faith +1, Moop), theater, or pairing this prompt with dress-up!

Day 7 | Free Day

★ Free Day - Our final day is a free day! Whateva, whateva, you do what you want!

[serenastark-official]

🖤✨ 02: How to Not Ship People: A PSA from Serena Stark ✨🖤

Alright, Tumblr, we need to talk. Specifically about the very weird habit some of you have of shipping me with literally everyone I’ve ever shared air with—and I mean everyone—from Stephen to Wong to TONY to Peter to Dani to Laurya (like, seriously??).

And no, this isn't a "How to Ship Serena Stark" guide (because apparently, everyone on here thinks they’re qualified to play matchmaker)

Understand the Basics of Platonic Relationships

Not every interaction means romance, folks. Sometimes, people can just...I don’t know...exist in the same room without being soulmates.

For example:

Stephen Strange? My best friend and highly respected mentor. Not my boyfriend. Not my soulmate. Last time I checked, calling someone “Old Man Wizard” every five minutes isn’t exactly romantic. I can’t even get through a conversation without him lecturing me on the multiverse and responsibility. Romance level: zero. Also, he calls me “kid,” so that’s basically “I’m your dad now” territory.

Tony Stark? That’s my dad, y’all. MY DAD. Did we skip basic human decency 101? This isn’t Game of Thrones. Sit down.

Wong? Look, I respect the guy. Love him even (in a totally platonic way). But the man is way too busy dealing with magical disasters to worry about me. Plus, I’m not about to ruin his zen vibe. We’re too busy exchanging takis, not vows.

Peter Parker? Do you people hear yourselves when you type? Peter can’t even win a staring contest with me—how would he handle dating me? As I said already, he's my too-kind-to-be-a-real-kid brother.

Daniella Romanoff? Practically my sister. (Though she could definitely crush me in a fight, I’m not even gonna lie.) She’s got enough trauma to handle, she doesn’t need me adding fuel to the shipping fire.

Laurya? I can practically hear you all— “Oh, they’re so close! It’s so obvious! Sisterly love... or, y’know, whatever!” NO. She is literally my sister in arms, not in love. If she were reading this right now, she’d be laughing so hard, she’d probably throw a shoe at me. So let’s not, okay?

Bruce Banner? Bruce Banner and me? Are you seriously trying to make that work? Listen, I’m all for the science nerds’ club (believe me, I’m practically a founding member), he’s in the “dad” zone with Tony and Stephen. I don’t need a third one of those.

What next? Are you going to ship me with Jeff, the land shark?!

Now that I’ve screamed into the void, here’s your 101 on how NOT to ship people (especially me):

Step 1: Don't Assume Every Glance = Love Story

Just because I looked at someone for more than 2 seconds doesn’t mean I’m secretly planning our wedding. I could be judging them. I could be plotting their demise. Or I could just be zoning out because I’m thinking about pasta. You don’t know.

Step 2: Don’t assume everything is subtext.

Just because I exchange sarcastic banter with someone doesn’t mean I want to kiss them. Sometimes, I’m just being me. (Which, let’s be honest, is fabulous enough without adding romance into the mix.)

You don’t marry everyone you talk to. Shocking, right? Sometimes, people just have good friendships. Not every bond needs a kiss at the end. I know, mind-blowing.

Step 3: Stop Projecting Your Ships Onto Others

I get it, shipping is fun. But hold your horses. Ask yourself:

Is this ship actually plausible, or am I just bored?

Have I considered how weird this might be for the people involved?

Would Serena personally come for me for this? (Hint: Yes.)

If you can’t explain it without sounding like a total creep, then just… don’t. My life isn’t your rom-com script, and I’m not auditioning for a Netflix special.

Step 4: Respect Boundaries

If I say “No,” it’s a no. If I roast the ship in public, it’s definitely a no. Stop trying to make me and Tony a thing. That’s therapy-inducing territory, and I already have enough on my plate.

Me and Stephen = Two sarcastic nerds saving the multiverse.

Me and Peter = Sibling energy with a side of web-based competition.

Me and Tony = Snark battles + family dinners.

Me and Laurya = Sisterhood, no strings attached.

Me and Dani = Chaos and platonic love, no ships allowed.

Me and Wong = Team Sorcery and food buddies. (he has a lot of takis in the Sanctum, if you'd be more responsible about your ship, I'd give you some)

Me and Bruce = Science buddies and, he’s already got enough on his plate with, y’know, the Hulk and being an honorary member of the “dad” squad.

Step 5: Focus On YOUR Ships

If you’re feeling the itch to ship someone, look in the mirror. Find your own love story. Or ship Jeff the Land Shark with world domination; he’s working on it anyway.

Step 6: Put that energy to better use.

Instead of shipping me with everyone I’ve ever breathed near, how about you create fanfic where I absolutely obliterate HYDRA agents in a beautifully dramatic showdown?

In conclusion:

Stop it. Get some help. If you keep shipping me with random people, I’ll find you. And I’ll make you explain yourself to my face. Let’s stop pretending every time I make eye contact with someone, we’re about to enter a rom-com montage. Please, for the love of all things sarcastic and logical, stop.

[delightful-chaos-collection]

Douxie Headcannons

● He is a terrible cook. Not as bad as Barbra but he can only cook basic things. That why he eats a lot of take out and instant ramen. Jim is horrified

● He's not a fan of horror movies. Zoe makes him watch cause his reactions are funny.

● Douxie loves music. All types of music not just punk. Jazz, pop, blues etc. He loves all genres of music and while his main is a guitar, he can also play the banjo, the flute, acoustic guitar, bagpipes, the accordion and the trumpet.

● He has not been all over the world. Yes, he has been to a lot of places in the world but not all of them. He tried to lay low for a long time and has moved around but he's mainly stayed in Europe most of the time. He avoided getting involved in world politics, wars etc. While he joined the occasional protest, he really tried to keep it low

● He has not been to all the major historical events. There is a trope with immortals that they were present at EVERY major historical moment in history and had relationships with every major historical figure. But nope, not Douxie. He's been to like 3 but otherwise, he's either doing his own thing, like monster hunting, learning instruments, playing at concerts or just staying under the radar and living.

● He's also only had a handful of relationships. Like you would imagine he had a lot of relationships but actually he only had a few. Like 7 or 8 relationships. He has fallen for two mortals and the relationships didn't end when they find out he's a wizard, they freak out and break up with him and call him a devil spawn. He also dated a few other immortal wizards of his physical and mental age but after some time they broke up. His longest relationship was with an immortal which lasted for 4 years.

● He is desperate for love and validation. He loves Archie but this is a different kind of love, but he is also terrified of relationships because of his past ones.

● He's stuck. Like literally he is stuck looking like 19-20 years old physically. He's more mature than a regular 20-year-old and has been through some stuff but even still. Being physically and mentally stuck as a 20-year-old for the rest of your life kind of sucks.

● People constantly talk down to him due to his age, they think he's only trouble and a college dropout and dating kind of sucks because falling in love with a mortal is a big no-no for him because of the whole no-aging thing and he doesn't want to go through that, not again. And there are only a handful of wizards in the world that are actually physically 20 just like him.

● That is why Archie is his best friend. Another immortal, his best friend. who has been with him through so much. he cannot be apart from Archie for more than 2 days otherwise he starts having a panic attack. Archie is his emotional support animal both to Douxie and legally.

● He's a massive bisexual disaster

● He loves musicals

● Writes songs and lyrics and poems

● He has a bunch of old diaries that he has kept, which include his own thoughts and feelings. some of which is severally depressing

● He has severe abandonment issues. with how Merlin kind of just left him for 900 years. him being an ageless immortal in a world that changes so often with people that grow old and leave him.

● Has a of anxiety and insecurities. His mental health is not the best in the world. He keeps it hidden

● Most of his socks are those fluffy cat claw socks. He loves wearing them. It's honestly unironic.

[eponymous-rose]

So I've been playing Baldur's Gate 3 like everyone else and had An Incredibly Wild Combat Experience just now...

(spoilers under the cut for an early-game fight; if you don't care about the game, this is 100% parse-able as a d&d fight)

So there I am with my character Amisra (elf fighter), and a party consisting of Karlach (tiefling barbarian), Astarion (elf/vampire-spawn rogue) and Gale (human wizard). We venture into the lair of a hag to try to rescue this woman she's kidnapped and I'm getting a little blithe when it comes to spell slots and short rests - everyone's starting to look pretty rough, and then there's a long stretch of having to navigate carefully around traps, mostly via jumps that I actually remember to have Feather Fall on this time. "No problem," I think like every D&D player before me, "I'll simply take a long rest before the boss battle." And the game, in its DM-ish wisdom, says, "No, you can't long rest in the lair of an actively hostile enemy, what were you thinking???" and that's how I get into a fight that's way, way over my head.

I'm giving it my best shot, dealing with illusory hag-enemies and complicated terrain, but it's clear this is going to be my first total-party-kill of the game. Several characters have been knocked down and brought back up, and we've been in enough of a bad state that all of our healing potions are gone (leading me to the realization that you can craft in battle, which then leads to all of the crafted potions also being consumed).

The stage is set for disaster: the hag still has half her health (60-something points), and my whole party is out of all spell slots and fancy tricks. Astarion and Karlach are knocked unconscious on the other side of the room via Ray of Sickness, making death saves. Gale and Amisra are in some sort of necrotic zone that's dealing damage every round.

The immediate turn order: Gale, Hag, Amisra. Gale has 1 HP and will be unconscious from the necrotic damage after his turn. Amisra has a whopping 7 HP but is being held in the damage-over-time area by a Hold Person spell she cannot seem to save against. The hag has a perfect shot on everyone in the room.

So I'm sitting there like "well, it was a fun run while it lasted" and trying to remember when I saved last. At this point, I figure I might as well go for a little roleplay flair and try to think of what Gale would do for this, his final turn. Well, he'd look to magic. But, uh, sorry, those cantrips aren't going to deal 60 points of damage and get you out of your current predicament. Too bad.

Hang on. I've picked up so many scrolls, surely there's something there that might be a fun finish. Scroll of Flying? Nah, then I'll just die in midair. Scroll of Ray of Enfeeblement? Yeah, I'm sure she'll be real sad that her melee attacks do marginally less damage as she annihilates us with ranged attacks anyway. Scroll of Feign Death? Who's ever even used that spell successfully in a video game? What would you even--

Wait. Scroll of Feign Death. Resistance to all damage types except psychic, puts the target in a comatose state. Gale's going to be unconscious next round, but Amisra still has 7 HP...

So Gale, very dramatically, pulls out this scroll and casts the spell on Amisra, who Feigns Death very convincingly considering she's frozen on the spot and slowly taking damage. And Gale takes the last burst of damage himself and falls unconscious.

The hag absolutely doesn't stop there and keeps hitting Karlach, Astarion, and Gale until they're dead... but she never targets Amisra. She thinks she's dead. She actually thinks she's dead! And she might be right, as Amisra takes 2 HP and 1 HP of damage each turn, frozen in place...

And the hag just... stops. Everyone is dead, right? Yup, four bodies on the ground. Time to go and do whatever it is hags do for fun. She leaves the battlefield.

And Amisra finally saves against the damage-over-time with One. Frickin'. Hit. Point. Remaining.

I as the player have about 1 HP remaining myself as I fumble frantically to move Amisra out of the dangerous area and manage to remember how to use a mouse in time to cast a Scroll of Revivify on Gale. Two of us, each stumbling around at 1 HP, no other healing available, no idea where the hag is in her lair, the rest of our (very dead) party on the other side of the giant room, and a huge path of traps and treacherous drops to get back to the surface. What can we do but press on, deeper into the lair?

In the next room, which I have never seen before, I am shaking. If there's a trap, we're probably done. I'm too nervous to try looting anything in the room - what if she comes back? And then I see a sparkly fairy circle of mushrooms, looking an awful lot like an exit. No way. NO WAY.

I click that fairy circle so many times and just hold my breath as the two remaining party members stumble to the exit... and promptly appear back in the (slightly less dangerous) bog. The bog where, in its infinite DM-ly kindness, the game finally allows us to make camp, where I can resurrect Karlach and Astarion in peace.

And that's how we avoided a Total Party Kill with the most situational spell scroll use imaginable!

Edit: Also, a tip for when I did go back to fight the hag - a 2nd-level Magic Missile auto-hits up to 4 targets, so if you position Gale toward the middle of the room you can take down all 4 illusory hag-clones in one turn. Ahh, it was nice to have spell slots again.

[sitp-recs]

Heyyy Liv!!! I check your blog everyday btw it's a beautiful distraction from studying. Anyway, I also read the most he's ever said and maybe not with a situationship, but do you know fics that have similar issues - them having some kind of toxic relationship, unresolved issues (that get resolved heh) or maybe miscommunication? Doesn't necessarily have to be fwb. Thank youuuuu xxxxx

Hi anon! I’m so happy to hear you enjoy the blog 💜 I’m a bit picky about toxic relationships but I think these are a good fit for your ask. Most of them are friends with benefits tbh, love that trope. Enjoy! 😊

Between Two Fires of Beltane by secretsalex (E, 5k)

As the war drags on, Draco becomes a spy for Voldemort and works his way into Harry’s good graces—and his bed. When the Order prepares to invade Malfoy Manor, Draco is forced to examine his loyalties.

Clear As Mud by scoradh (M, 10k)

Set post-war and post-Harry's-conscience...

Kissed by Pie (M, 12k)

Draco Malfoy was attacked by a rogue Dementor on the night of his Azkaban release. He self-exiled to Muggle London and opened a late-night chocolate shop called Kissed.

I'll never be your chosen one by Andithiel (E, 15k)

Draco doesn't know what exactly he’s doing with Potter, he doesn't know how their unspoken agreement even started, and doesn't know where it will end. The only thing he knows is: he's not in love.

Vanishing Cabinets by @romaine2424 (E, 18k)

Take one Wizarding Family Values politician who has a secret life, and add one Auror who detests discrimination of any type, but becomes a bit obsessed with said politician, and you have enough sparks to ignite a Beltane fire.

In His Nature by Create_Serenity (E, 20k)

Harry agreed to have sex with Draco once a month in order to keep him alive, what he didn’t agree to was Draco popping up all over the place and disrupting his life in more ways than one.

The Matchmaker's Spell by @kbrick (E, 21k)

Thanks to a spell cast over all of wizarding Britain, Draco is forced to marry Harry Potter, who still hates him. But Draco refuses to live a cold, sexless existence, choosing to fill the emptiness in his life and his bed with a parade of lovers. And while Harry may not be able to stand Draco, he despises seeing him with anyone else.

Famous by @fw00shy (E, 24k)

It's a couple of years after the war, and Harry's bored of models now, the same way he's bored of Ron's constant nagging, bored of his Weasley monogram knitwear, bored of the same fucking grin that greets him when he hands his fire-truck red Bugatti over to the valet every night. He wants to find—well, he isn't sure what he wants. Anything but models. Harry is in the mood for...messy. And Draco Malfoy's looking like a walking disaster in the making.

Stain of Silence by brummell (E, 28k)

After the war, Draco serves out his sentence in Harry Potter's house.

He Who Must Not Be Normal by lettered (E, 41k)

Potter has fame and fortune and posh clothes and all he wants is a simple life. Draco has a flat and a cat and a steady job and all he wants is a complicated life. Which makes you think this story has something exciting like body-swapping, but it doesn’t. Instead it has Indian takeaway and a blue jumper and people wanting a whole lot of what they can’t have, discovering themselves as they discover each other.

Harry Potter Gives a Shit by talithan (E, 58k)

“Where are you headed?” “No place special,” Draco fumbled, and flushed further. But then: “I can change that,” said Harry Potter.

Another Mask Behind You by lettered (E, 116k)

Draco is a high-end prostitute who hides his identity. Harry unknowingly hires him. And then there is porn, questions about identity, domestic bliss, more porn, and truth as seen through a web of lies.

[itsbenedict]

From the beginning | Previously | Coin standings | 60/70 | 36/36

Walter wants to go check out what was happening down in that sunken temple, but Adea doesn't want to just leave all this dirt sitting here- and she's just plugged in that coin miner thingy, so they'll need to sit around for a bit to see if it works anyway.

IT PREVENTED ROOK POWER EXTRUSION is OVIOS NETWORK EXPENDITURE REPORT. Apparently, about 14 years ago, the municipal government started deploying some project called the OpenVista I/O Station network. OPENVISTA is, on paper, an independent startup, but apparently it's a shell corporation established so Thinrar could dodge some of his own restrictions on public works. The report details the budget that went into constructing and deploying these things- though it's not clear from the report exactly what they do.

Apparently a construction company called WIREFRAME MOCKUP was hired to simultaneously build a mall named TARGETED ADVERTISING... and force an underground funeral home type facility run by SLEEP MODE to surrender something called the LOTUS VEXOR, in exchange for letting them keep the rights to their land (which they'd been retroactively granted thanks to a surveying loophole). The project took years and went way over budget, despite someone named DEADLOCK DETECTION being sent from Thinrar's office to oversee it personally. But 14 years ago, she apparently managed to get her hands on it- a key component of the OVIOS network, somehow. The cover op, the mall construction, is set to open in a few days.

TIN RUNT CONCOCTS A QUART O' CACTI concerns an AQUATIC CONSTRUCTION CONTRACT, offered by COLLUSION to a well-regarded specialist contractor named REGRESSION TEST. It's mostly an email chain with said contractor, who had a thousand questions about the nature of the work and the equipment she was being paid to install. The emails- sent to her by someone named JUST-IN-TIME COMPILER- are evasive and noncommittal, and seem primarily concerned with getting her to agree to various nondisclosure agreements and security measures.

REGRESSION TEST's job, apparently, is just to demolish the wreckage at the build site, create some waterproof housing with enough space for maintenance staff, and install the provided equipment. That's all she's allowed to know about the HILARITY! BE A FILIAL E-CYGNET.

SPRITZ? REPENT, WRY ED COOLHAXX! is a strange set of files called PROXY WIZARD CONTEXT HELPERS. It's a dossier on... various random people in town. A university researcher with no friends, a family of small-time crooks down by the docks, various guards at this very tower, and a handful of other random citizens with no clear connecting factors. The files describe the details of their lives over a disconcertingly long period of observation, and note things that are missing from those lives. Family members they don't have, friends they've lost contact with, coworkers who quit recently. There's transcripts of interviews with some of these people, but nothing stands out as particularly odd.

There's also profiles on various properties for rent, and some odd shorthand notes that appear to describe how long they've spent vacant and what's wrong with them. And... a bunch of copies of old missing persons cases, with all the names blacked out. And statements from investigations of incidents where... disasters were averted for reasons no one understood, like an out-of-control trolley being diverted onto a track by some good samaritan who never identified themselves.

[ed: Yeah, chew on that one, FF. You'll find out what I'm on about eventually.]

This is all weird, and rings a few bells, but you're not sure what to make of it just yet. In the meantime, Adea collects 10 Coin from the minter- which seems to have really raised the ambient temperature in the room. It's probably fine, though, right? The heat's dissipating into the stone, for the most part.

Adea consults with Walter and formulates a guess. He'd been drawn underground by some mysterious force when he woke up, right? If your daughter ended up here too- and it stands to reason, because you were all right there in the same place when the blast(?) went off- maybe she was pulled down there by the same force! It's possible he just missed her- she could've gotten lost in those underground tunnels somewhere. Best to give it another once-over with an extra pair of eyes.

You head through the ancient pyramid, which... seems to be more extensive, and in better repair than it used to be. When did all this construction happen? Finding a crack in the floor leading down is more difficult than before. Earlier, it hadn't been difficult at all- Walter says some part of him knew which way to go. Did something change?

Neither of you are feeling any supernatural pull downwards anymore. The area below- save for some additional pyramid construction- is almost entirely unchanged. Which... does mean that there is a GIANT SKELETON, still. Several of them. You find a reasonably well-hidden spot to lurk and install the WIFI ACCESS POINT in the REVERT A BANDANA SURGERY SUBTERRANEAN GRAVEYARD. Files include:

Someone took issue with the performance assessment of a robot horse, around, like... thirty years ago? The email is RE: PONY SERVITOR 2076 SCORECARD, and they're not happy.

You've heard of saltwater taffy, but mousewater taffy is considerably harder to manage. Someone's done it, though: ENCODED::: WRANGLED MOUSEWATER TAFFY.

According to the LANCE GLANCE RECRUITER: PI ROTATION IS OUT. He's in charge of recruiting people who've had a close shave with spears, and he prefers to measure lance angles with tau.

An island nation called Haiti, which you've never heard of, is really mad about something- but they don't seem to want to be mad. IRATE HAITI WISHES MELLOW??? Really?

There'd been a lot of development on a faster-than-light utensil, but the product has been getting worse over time. See, a TORTOISE PROVED WARP FORK REGRESSED in this paper.

There's an invitation to the LETTERED CORRECTNESS FOUNDATION, an organization devoted to putting letters in the correct order. Sure would help if these guys weren't hallucinatory!

Continued | 60/70 | 32/32

[mizimuse]

Siblings Circus || Slytherin boys+Pansy edition

1. Draco Malfoy

Draco is literally the sibling who cries over spilled pumpkin juice.

You take the last of the cereal: "Are you trying to starve me?!"

Every tiny thing is a full-blown disaster. Got a higher grade than him? "You’re sabotaging me!"

He’s always snitching to your parents: "Father will hear about this... and so will mother, the house-elf, and probably the entire Wizarding World."

You can’t even argue with him because he ends every fight with, "It’s because I’m the older one!."

You: "Draco, it’s literally just socks."

Draco (clutching his pearls): "You wouldn’t understand!"

2. Theodore Nott

Theo never argues, but you’ll suddenly get in trouble for things you didn’t even know he noticed.

You: "How did mom find out I skipped Potions?"

Theo (smirking while reading a book): "Don’t know. Must be magic."

He’s also the king of saying nothing but judging everything.

You: "Do you ever clean up after yourself?"

Theo (with a shrug): "Do you?"

When you try to argue, he just gives you a single eyebrow raise and goes back to his book like you're not worth the oxygen.

3. Mattheo Riddle

Mattheo is the sibling who wakes you up at 3 a.m. with: "Let’s duel, right now."

He’s constantly getting you into trouble and laughing while you suffer.

You (dodging hexes): "Can you calm down?!"

Mattheo (grinning like a maniac): "Nah, this is fun!"

If something breaks, it’s 100% his fault, but somehow, you get blamed.

You: "Mum’s gonna kill us!"

Mattheo: "You mean, you. I’m innocent."

He lives for chaos and will start fights just to see how mad you’ll get. "Bet you can’t throw a better hex than me."

4. Blaise Zabini

Blaise acts like nothing in the world bothers him, but somehow you always end up doing his chores.

You: "Why am I cleaning your room?"

Blaise: "Because you love me. And also, I bribed you with chocolate frogs."

He never panics—even when everything is falling apart.

You (freaking out): "Mum is going to flip out when she sees this mess!"

Blaise (not even looking up): "Nah, that's a you problem.'"

He’s also impossible to prank.

You (trying to hex his shoes): "Why aren’t you reacting?!"

Blaise (yawning): "Because I saw this coming an hour ago."

5. Lorenzo Berkshire

Lorenzo is that sibling who can be half asleep, totally unprepared, but still smarter than you.

You: "Did you study for the test?"

Lorenzo (yawning): "What test?"

Yet somehow, he always aces it. It’s actually infuriating.

You (gritting your teeth): "How do you keep getting top marks?"

Lorenzo (shrugging): "Dunno. Gifted, I guess."

He also never gets up on time, and you end up dragging him everywhere while he’s still half asleep.

You (knocking on his door): "We’re late!"

Lorenzo (muffled): "We’ll be on time… eventually."

6. Pansy Parkinson

Pansy’s the sibling who’s always borrowing (aka stealing) your clothes and claiming they look better on her.

You: "Is that my sweater?"

Pansy: "Yes, but let’s be honest, I pull it off way better."

She’ll also sass her way out of every chore and somehow get away with it.

Mum: "Pansy, why aren’t you cleaning?"

Pansy (smiling): "Because I’m delicate and chores are bad for my complexion."

She’s the type to start drama, then sit back and watch it unfold while sipping tea.

[outeremissary]

The Hierophant, Strength and the Hanged Man for Carmen?

Thanks for the ask! For once, there is something resembling brevity to my answers.

(also reordered to obscure some aeon spoilers for anyone for whom those are a concern)

[tarot asks]

Strength: On what issue is your character persistent?

The abomination thing. It’s the abomination thing. It’s most certainly that, the abomination thing. Carmen has developed a fringe theory of the cosmos in which the pristine world of Golarion has been corrupted by the unnatural incursions of creatures and forces not meant to exist on it. History is full of hubristic supernatural overreaches, evil wizard tyrants, and wicked gods and demons sowing destruction. Fey tricksters run rampant in the wilds, the self-righteous so-called good gods leave doctrines of discord for their followers while turning their backs on disaster, the unquiet dead have so infested the earth that a whole disgusting nation of them has taken root. People turn to religion for salvation and the gods feed on their fears and their hopes and all their beautiful, rich lives like parasites. And hardly anyone can see the connection, that there’s not good and bad types of abomination, but that it’s rotten all the way down. That you need to purge it all: the angels and the demons and everything else. The Worldwound is but one corner of a far greater crusade, one that mortals fight endlessly every day just to survive. She’s absolutely miserable to discuss religion with.

(From a meta perspective, this was an adaptation of her impractical and logic resistant tabletop philosophy that every arcane magic user ever born was, deep down, evil, because magic is inherently evil and corrupts everything it touches.)

The Hanged Man: When has your character needed to step back and look at things from a different perspective?

Honestly, just being appointed Knight Commander was a major moment for this. Carmen has never thought of herself as a leader. She knows she doesn’t have a lot of social savvy or patience for trying to parse issues outside of her skillset. Her skills in compromise are generally poor. She doesn’t like delegating tasks. She’s most comfortable receiving orders, not giving them. And grand strategy? She’s a soldier, she doesn’t know what it is that generals do. It’s hard to understand what she’s being asked when Galfrey makes her intentions clear, and it took some processing to come to terms with and accept. Trying to push outside of her usual narrow view of the present and to consider Galfrey’s reasoning, Galfrey’s character, and the state of the crusade did help. As much as the symbolic reasons or the reason of blessings she knew she hadn’t received and disliked being associated with didn’t resonate with her, she could see logic to the crusade needing new blood and fresh morale. The disaster of Kenabres made that much clear. And some morally superior part of her could also be swayed by the logic that she was the right choice for being more upright, for being more clear-headed, for being willing to do what others wouldn’t, just like when she purged the Wardstone.

I suppose in the end it would up less the empathetic understanding of others and more a roundabout way of reaching her own warped perspective there though. Common Carmen L. She does respect Galfrey though, mostly. She has very complicated feelings about Galfrey. All part of the toxic yuri love triangle.

AEON SPOILER ZONE

The Hierophant: Who has served as a mentor to your character?

Carmen has had effectively zero people in her life in the recent past she would consider mentors, especially in the crusade. To “mentor” her would require demonstration of shared values, valuable skills superior to her own, and a temperament she finds agreeable and worthy of respect. Let me just say that there are no characters in the game who meet these standards. She respects some, like Greybor or Galfrey, as equals or near equals. But there’s no one who can put her in a position where she feels that she is a student. The closest that you could probably come is the aeon in the mirror (it’s always that damn aeon in the mirror), and that’s because to her, it is very much not a separate being. It’s just her. She’s just spending time clearing her head and thinking- that’s normal, everyone does that! And she easily internalizes insights she picks up from there. It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.

Would love to see a dynamic of mentor and penitent disciple between her and Hal if she ever halfway shaped up her act though, that would be fun. I thought about that periodically in 2021.

[dayntee]

Sasuke is a disaster wizard

This is gonna be a weird one, stick with me here.

After realizing that I have a proclivity for magically talented, intelligent individuals who make terrible choices for what are generally well-intentioned (if poorly executed) reasons, I've been taking a look back at some of the fandoms I've been equally obsessed with and Naruto (specifically SasuSaku) rises to the top.

Needless to say, there's a trend:

Genjutsu expert (what may as well pass for enchantment magic in the Naruto world)

Prone to bruisingly intelligent, if terse, quips

Makes some really, really dumb decisions

...but ultimately has pretty understandable motives behind them, even when they're not justifiable

Emotionally damaged for a multitude of reasons

Absolutely fucking caves to his eventual love interest

Sasuke is an honorary member of the disaster wizard club, and I'm not sure you can convince me otherwise.

[reddieweek]

Welcome to the fifth annual Reddie Week!

Rules | F.A.Q. | AO3 Collection

Posting period: 04 June 2023 - 10 June 2023

This year we've decided to give Reddie Week a theme using a tried and true trope we all know and love. This year's theme is Alternate Universe!

Prompts:

04 June: Mythical Creatures: witches/wizards/warlocks, werewolves/werecreatures, vampires, dragons, etc.

05 June: Occupation Swap: tattoo artist, flower shop, mechanic, barista, doctor, musician, baker, etc.

06 June: Meet-Cutes: online, speed-dating, looking for a roommate, boarding school classmates, etc.

07 June: Soulmates: red string of fate, seeing in black and white until you meet them, feeling each other's emotions, etc.

08 June: Books/Games/Movies/TV: star wars, twilight, the uglies, percy jackson, bones, skyrim, zelda, etc.

09 June: (Post-)Apocalypse: natural disasters, solar flare, nuclear war, zombies, etc.

10 June: Canon Divergence: eddie in the deadlights, richie doesn't want to return to Derry so eddie has to come get him, eddie did the carving in the kissing bridge, pennywise was a figment of their imagination, etc.

Although there are suggested AUs for each day, any alternate universe work is acceptable! Just be clear about what type of AU it is in your tags or author's notes!

Additionally, this year we will be accepting works that are inspired by any past Reddie Week prompt. Please make it clear which prompt you are using. Here is a list of possible, related tags you might use for past and present prompts. Specific past prompts can be found in each year's sub-collection on AO3.

You can share your work by tagging it with #reddieweek or tagging @reddieweek in your post.

Any questions? Concerns? Ideas you want to share? Send this blog an ask or message the mods: @eddieeatsass and @frankchaudhary

[maxdibert]

I don’t think either Remus or Severus were made to be teachers. Remus can’t handle groups of kids responsibly, though he’s somewhat likeable in their eyes, and Severus just feels to me like the type of man to prefer a job that rather requires working alone than dealing with children morning to night. Sirius is probably the guy who obtains the job interview but shows up late and doesn’t treat his work too seriously (not pun intended) and gets fired. We never get to see him to have a job since he’s in Azkaban and pretty much covered up by family inheritance anyway.

What do you think about that? What jobs do you think would suit them?

Of course not—Severus hates kids. Being responsible is one thing, liking your job is another. They’re two different things. Years ago, I worked at a call center and hated it with every fiber of my being, but I was one of the best sales agents on the platform. Doing your job well doesn’t mean you like it. It’s clear Severus didn’t enjoy his job, and it’s equally clear he had zero patience and no social skills. Especially no social skills, let’s not kid ourselves. I think his thing would have been dedicating himself to research, both potions and the Dark Arts—something he was really passionate about. But I can’t even picture him working for the Ministry. I see him more as someone doing independent research and making money by selling articles or books on the topic. I’ve always seen him as the equivalent of a typical scientific researcher who’s at a university because it allows him to continue with his projects. Occasionally, he might teach a class because his contract requires it, but it would be classes for adults—people who aren’t kids, people who wouldn’t get on his nerves. People who are there to learn about the subject and who already have some level of knowledge. That, to me, would be his ideal job, considering his interests and personality.

If the wizarding world weren’t such a mess, Remus would probably dedicate himself to matters involving people affected by his condition and support for kids who are also werewolves. Clearly, he’s good with kids, but he’s an absolute disaster as a person. So, well, what better than working with kids like him who can defend themselves if he forgets the potion, right? Though I still wouldn’t leave him alone with kids, but whatever.

I can’t picture Sirius working at all—it’s just not something I can imagine. I see him more as the typical rich guy who spends his time traveling and "experiencing life," which is basically pretending to do useful things when he’s really just starting absurd projects that won’t go anywhere and abandoning them as soon as he gets bored. He clearly couldn’t work for anyone because he’d be super irresponsible, and I can’t imagine him taking orders from figures of authority. He’d end up fighting with everyone, getting fired, or quitting. I see him more as the typical drifter who’s 50 years old but acts like he’s 20, and everyone keeps reminding him he’s not 20 anymore, but he’ll never stop being 20, not even at 80, you know? Zero material for a functional person in the working world, honestly.

[shay-the-writer]

October Writing Prompts

After the repeated fails of the last several months, what possesses me to make this month's prompt thing ... fuck if I know. But, let's go with it. It's a long one.

The prompts are both Halloween and Autumn-themed.

Playing a game of Trick or Treat. It's a bit like Truth or Dare with the Trick being like Dare. The type of story rating is up to you.

Trick-or-Treating with the kid(s). Nice, wholesome content.

Costume Party.

Going to a haunted house (a real one or a set up). <> Person A says haunted houses don't scare them but they end up freaking out at every turn and Person B holds onto them.

Raking up leaves and having fun in them.

A trip to the cider mill/apple orchard, pumpkin patch, Fall Festival. Apple-picking, cider and donuts, hay bale rides, hay bale/cornstalk mazes.

Hay bale/cornstalk maze adventure. (family event / Horror-themed and set at night / a couple getting lost [intentional or not] and taking advantage of a dead end or secluded spot).

Carving/painting pumpkins.

Pumpkin Spice food/beverage items. Person A loves it. Person B hates it with a passion.

Taking a walk through the park where the air is crisp but not too cold, it's cloudy but a bit of sun peeks out and makes the color of the leaves stand out. Leaves are falling around them, and the ones on the ground make a rustling/crunching sound when they walk over them.

The smell of cinnamon. This is usually a Christmas thing for me, but some places I've been to recently have had cinnamon-scented things in their fall decor, so I guess it works here, too.

Halloween night always seems to bring out the crazies. This one is probably crime show-specific.

Person A decided to take a walk with Person B, thinking it wasn't too cold outside to wear a coat, but Person B notices A is looking cold and gives them their coat because B planned ahead with their wardrobe.

INSPIRED-THE-PLOT: Adaptation of Washington Irving's Legend of Sleepy Hollow. (this story freaks me out, even a kids book I once had, with innocent kid-friendly illustrations, scared the crap out of me.)

INSPIRED-THE-PLOT: Surviving scary moments/disasters together. Alien invasions/attacks (Independence Day), natural disasters like tornadoes/volcanoes/earthquakes/etc. (Twister/Dante's Peak/etc.), dinosaurs run amok (Jurassic Park/World), or something supernatural (ghosts, demons, vampires), or psycho maniac serial killers.

Relationships between a human and a: Alien, Monster, Warlock, Witch, Sorcerer/Sorceress, Vampire, Ghost, Werewolf (or any animal-specific shapeshifter), Demon, Devil/Satan, Dark Creature (Fae, Imp, etc.).

Relationships between: Aliens, Monsters, Warlocks, Witches, Sorcerers/Sorceresses, Vampires, Ghosts, Werewolves/Animal Shapeshifters, Demons, Dark Creatures, a demon/devil/Satan with an angel/a God or Goddess.

MOVIE QUOTES

These are random and not necessarily Halloween-themed, but when put into a Halloween context, gives them a whole new meaning.

Rapunzel: Do you have magic hair? / Vanellope: No. (Ralph Breaks the Internet)

Principal Carol Newman: I want you to look into my eyes. What do you see? / Student: It's dark ... and it's cold. (The Santa Clause 2)

Lilly: Satan has finally left my body. (Pitch Perfect 3)

Billy Butcherson: Go to Hell! / Winifred Sanderson: Oh! I've been there, thank you. I found it quite lovely. (Hocus Pocus)

Gordo: Wow, evil and smart. / Kate: Embrace it. Fear it. (The Lizzie McGuire Movie)

Dorothy Gale: How can you talk if you haven't got a brain? (The Wizard of Oz)

Patty Tolan: Okay, room full of nightmares. (Ghostbusters [2016])

A.J. MacInerney: I feel a nightmare coming on. (The American President)

Sophie Piper: It's the bad thing. (Halloweentown)

Olaf: Hands down, this is the best day of my life, [he begins to melt] and, quite possibly, the last. (Frozen)

Olaf: Oh, look at that. I've been impaled. (Frozen)

TV QUOTES

Like the movie quotes, these ones change meaning when put in a Halloween-context.

Regina Mills: She got sucked up by a vortex of evil. (Once Upon a Time)

Chilli Heeler: (after Bluey and Bingo's fight led to a broken gnome) This is what happens when you're unhappy with what you've got. Someone's husband [the gnome] eventually gets it! [killed] (Bluey)

Gnome: Hee-hee-hee. I'm flammable! (Big City Greens)

Rumplestiltskin/Mr. Gold: To the end of the world. (Once Upon a Time)

Spike: If you tell anyone we had this conversation, I'll bite you. (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

John Munch: (while playing a video game) Damn it, I died. (Law & Order: SVU)

Princess Anna: What a funny-looking world. / Queen Elsa: Right?! (Once Upon a Time)

Lorelai Gilmore: That's the last time I buy anything just because it's furry. (Gilmore Girls)

Cyber Knight: Respawn, you fool! Respawn! (Big City Greens)

Bluey Heeler: He was not a funny clown. (Bluey)

Olivia Benson: It could use a splash of color. [Elliot Stabler points to a painting with blood on it] Blood red wasn't what I had in mind. (Law & Order: SVU)

Alice Green: Oh, an ominous message written in red liquid. (Big City Greens)

Vicki Nelson: Well, unless you have a demon GPS around here somewhere, this is all we have. (Blood Ties)

Vicki Nelson: You actually have a demon GPS? (Blood Ties)

Tilly Green: I have seen danger. And, I love it. (Big City Greens)

Casey Novak: I've had this nightmare before, only I was naked. (Law & Order: SVU)

Melinda Warner: If you bite me, I'll hurt you. (Law & Order: SVU)

Oz: (about a zombie cat) It looks dead. It smells dead. Yet, it's moving around ... That's interesting. (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Angela Montenegro: Things in a toilet bowl should not move. (Bones)

Raymond Ettinger [guest character]: I can't find my head. (Law & Order: SVU)

Fin Tutuola: Your heart's bleeding all over my shoes. (Law & Order: SVU)

Fin Tutuola: I don't see a cat. / John Munch: They're freaky little creatures. They lurk. (Law & Order: SVU)

Rafael Barba: Cue the apocalypse. (Law & Order: SVU)

Weezy: Cryptids give me the creep-tids. (Big City Greens)

C.C. Babcock: Good God, it's multiplying. (The Nanny)

Alice Green: Go back from whence you came, Prince of Darkness! The girl's soul is mine! (Big City Greens)

Karen Walker: I'm not good or real. I'm evil and imaginary. (Will & Grace)

John Munch: Oh, there you are, you demonic little furball. (Law & Order: SVU)

Kate O'Brien: Well, that takes care of the heebies, but I still got the jeebies. (The Drew Carey Show)

Peter Griffin: (during a Brit cut-away) Oh, dear ... I've spontaneously combusted. (Family Guy)

Dorothy Zbornak: (to Sophia) You're a furry little gnome and we feed you too much. (The Golden Girls)

Yakko Warner: Wait, you're forgetting something. / Umlatt: What? / Yakko Warrner: Well, being an evil villain, you are contractually required to explain your plan before you get rid of us. (Animaniacs)

[ringleaderscarletshadow]

Questions Left Unanswered

Ship(s): John Constantine/Jagged Stone

Rating: Teen Warning: None Category: M/M Media Type: Fic Word Count: 2220 Additional Tags: Parent John Constantine, Adrien Constantine, Guardian & Butterfly Constantine, Peacock Raven, Ladybug Garth, Black Cat Koriand'r, Fox Adrien, Mouse Marinette, Luka as Viperion, Juleka as Purple Tigress, Minor Marave, Minor Character Death at the end, Mystery Ending

Summary: John is visted by Raven and a couple of her Titan friends. It turns out there is a problem dealing with Klarion. A problem that can only be solved by dusting off the miraculous from retirement. What the problem is... that is something they are only bound to get more questions than answers from solving. (And the Riddler is nowhere to be seen in the fic to be blamed this time)

Or

The author screws up two tumblr ideas, squishes them together, throws in some of their favorite rare pairs, hints at potential other pairings, and pulls a plot twist that leaves it open for sequel potential.

Note: Yeah... I screwed up the original ideas so @psychokatrixxxy there will be a Jasonette w/ John apprentice Mari for you and @kermdoeswriting & @everything163 there will be a fic in coming of true Marave with John getting stuck with all the kids. This fic is a weird mashup of both ideas unintentionally....

Ao3 Link: Questions Left Unanswered

Ping Requested: @anjuschiffer

Chapter 1/2:

John was never ready to be a parent. It really was his fault for not only dating a man with twins but having a biological son from a past lover. That makes you have to be ready to be a parent.

He would never trade it for the world. Before the twins or coming back into his son’s life, he had two other kids that he would never admit to as being his own but he sure as hell would curse you if anything happened to them.

The daughter of the Demon Lord Trigon and the kid gifted the powers of the wizard Shazam. It was a recipe for disaster. It was also amazing to see how much chaos they would get into.

He really missed the days when both of them would visit the House of Mystery. Now, it was occupied by his kids. A new sense of energy hit the walls of the place.

“Hey Dad, were you expecting someone?”

Adrien’s voice gets John out of his reminiscing. As far as he could recall, they were not supposed to have visitors today. Unless his husband had invited someone.

John joins his son at the door. It opens for the visitors to show that it was none other than Raven with a couple of her teammates from the Titans.

“Oh, what a surprise. Come in.” 

John takes his time to look over the crew. Raven, Starfire, and Garth. What an interesting group. He had heard her talk multiple times about a Starfire, and Tempest came up as a mention of all the members.

John’s quick glance over the group failed to notice another girl. One that Adrien caught instead. He extended a hand of friendship before helping her in, shutting the door behind her.

“I hope it is alright that I brought two additional friends along for an impromptu visit.”

“It is always alright to bring your friends along, dear. Though, two additional? Where is the other?”

Adrien’s laughter as he catches up to his father signals him to the other. A blue-eyed, black-haired girl. There was a certain quota she was filling that John could not place his mind on.

Raven bringing multiple magic related friends along with her raised a suspicion in John’s mind. There was something that she needed help with. Why come to him though if Billy is available? 

John shakes his head. Surely, he was just overthinking. Billy must have been busy in his city, or he would be around. He focuses back on the group.

“You must be a new member of the Titans. The name is John Constantine, master of the dark arts. You already met my son, Adrien. My other children are around somewhere.”

Raven sends John a confused look. His eyebrows raise as realization hits him. Raven had not talked to him since he got quietly married and Adrien’s mother passed. 

“Father, have you seen Adrien? Juleka and I wanted to-” Luka stops mid-sentence as he walks in the room to see the crowd of people. “That can wait. Why are a portion of the Titans here?”

“There is a slight problem. A chaos problem.”

John facepalms. Chaos usually meant one person. Klarion.

“Hey Jules, I’m going to need a sharp hand dealing with the cat kid!”

Luka’s sentence takes the unfamiliar girl by surprise along with everyone else in the group beside Raven. 

John smiles as Juleka comes in the room with a set of earrings, a ring, and bracelet. She gives Adrien the ring, Luka his bracelet and John gets the earrings. Juleka gladly sports her panjas bracelet.

“Tell us where Klarion is. Does he have any friends?”

John works at getting the earrings in. Raven’s eyebrow raises as a small smile climbs on her face. 

“He is on his own as far as we can tell. However, I think he has set the field to where only miraculous can get through. How you knew that already is weird.”

“Anomalies run in the multiverse genes. After as much time as I have been in the game, you get bloody good at knowing how the menaces work.”

Raven eyes the unfamiliar girl before looking back to John. He sends her a knowing look. He taps the earrings, and a little ladybug flies out.

“Hey Tikki, how has retirement been?”

“John! It has been so long my friend. Oh, you have children now. I am happy to come out to help you. Who are these other young mortals? Well half-demon, tamarian, atlantean, and kryptonian/amazon.”

John’s eyes go wide. There was no way that the big blue and Wonders had a child together. There had to have been influence from someone. 

“Woah, Atlantean? I have always wanted to visit Atlantis.” Adrien’s eyes light up as he looks at Garth.

“Well kid, make sure you go when you aren’t wearing my miraculous or Arthur will throw a fit.”

Adrien rolls his eyes at the black cat. Garth’s stare narrows. There was no way that a floating tiny cat is the same creature in the myths of the sinking of Atlantis he had heard so many times before.

John and Tikki share a similar sigh toward the duo. She takes charge of what is needed of her. She looks amongst the group before returning to John, whispering in his ear. 

The group look on as he transforms in front of their eyes. His outfit was nearly the same however his trench coat was now a nice scarlet while his button down and pants were black. The tie was exchanged for a nice crimson bowtie with a black knot. 

Adrien gives a little cheer at the transformation. He had been told stories of his dad’s time with the miraculous but had yet to see him in action.

John pulls out his yoyo. The cap flips open like a mirror. He reaches in gently, revealing a brooch and coin-pendant necklace.

John approaches Raven, offering her the two pieces. She nods softly. She knew the unspoken request by John. He continues on to Garth and Starfire.

“You both gave Tikki a bit of trouble. Ultimately, she decided to give you both the rooster and goat miraculous. The two work nicely together. Typically, she would have Garth wield hers and Koriand’r wield Plagg’s but they are already being used.”

“Well Dad, I can always switch up mine. I have experience with other miraculous. Trixx and I are quite the team.”

Before John can say anything, Adrien gives the miraculous to Plagg and he flies over to Kori. His father sighs as he gets the necklace out, handing it to him. He thinks for a moment before grabbing the locket brooch.

He calls upon Tikki to detransform. He then hands the earrings to Garth and greets the young butterfly, Nooroo.

“Oh, hello guardian. How can I help?” Nooroo nervously fidgets his arms around. 

“We have a miraculous situation to deal with. Tikki has a new holder for this occasion. I figured you may want to spread your wings.”

Nooroo’s nerves go away. He perks up. John breathes a sigh of relief. The butterfly is the newest miraculous of the bunch. It left the kwami to be quite hesitant to any sort of contact. 

The only user Nooroo had before John rescued them was the worst yet best introduction to mankind. Luckily, that user is no longer a problem. However, it has left Nooroo scarred.

John does his best to describe the situation to the kwami. They nod along as they settle into the role. It would be nice to have a positive connection. 

With Nooroo all settled in, and all of the group having met their kwami, John gets the location from Raven, and they set off to face Klarion.

Chapter 2/2:

“You have to be joking. Who gave children bloody miraculous?” John keeps himself from swearing.

Klarion was not by himself. He had an unfamiliar set of people with him. They were children by the size of them. There was a strange aura coming from them.

The children were a little too familiar once John got a better look. They had to be Robin, and Superboy. The aura did not originate from them. There had to be another source.

‘John, there is an aura coming from behind Klarion.’ Raven’s telepathy links the two.

The dark magician keeps a firm hand on his cane. He did not like the idea of children being used. Especially not the sons of two of the Trinity. 

This situation was going to be harder to approach then they initially thought. Facing children who were already a force to be reckoned with now were armed with miraculous. This had to be a hidden covert operation.

“Hey stabby, let’s dance.” Scarlet Billows waves on the young bird. 

“If you want to take the robin, I shall gladly take the bull.” Supernova pulls out her baton.

The Ladybug and Black Cat were strong fighters. Both wielders had experience as heroes. However, miraculous were a different playing field.

Robin’s speed catches Scarlet Billows off guard. He pulls out his yo-yo, which hooks onto the bird’s feet. Instead of tripping Robin, it flips the Ladybug on his head. 

Supernova, on the other hand, does relatively well matching against the super bull. It is a match of strength and power. However, the full focus on Supernova is unbroken. She cannot get an opening.

John examines the field. He does not have to utter a word before Multimouse hops in to help Supernova and Raven sends an amok to fight alongside Scarlet Billows. There was still a mystery to solve and Klarion to face.

Raven immediately joins into the fight when a sudden flash of sickening green overtakes the children. Robin now had a bigger sword and Superbull’s heat vision was chilling. They had also switched partners.

Raven was now alongside Scarlet Billows and Multimouse while Supernova was facing Robin with the senti-tiger. John was left to tackle Klarion himself. 

John summons a butterfly. The chaos of the fight was enough cover to get it through without them noticing. Or so he thought.

The butterfly makes it right to Klarion’s face before it is sliced from the sky. While it did not do what John was hoping, it did reveal a worrying scene. Klarion’s eyes were the same green color that overtook the kids. They also screamed for help.

Wait… 

That scream from the field. 

In front of John’s eyes, Raven falls to her knees. A way of her energy shoots out removing all the surrounding magic. Klarion falls to the ground and the boys shake off the aura. It shows a hidden scene that was playing out.

The mystery figure had been approaching Multimouse in the dark. They went to stab Multi and the image that played out was them being victorious. However, Raven’s cries made it fade.

There was nothing but a hardlight structure. It was an illusion of none other than Adrien. The figure was left stunned that they were played. It was the perfect opportunity for the Purple Tigress to strike. 

She slayed the figure’s ankles. It leaves the figure immobilized. Another player had entered through the hidden veil. Jagged Stone. He holds the figure’s arms behind their back so they cannot run.

Multimouse runs to Raven, throwing her in her arms. The peacock wielder’s tears start to slow. The two stay in a tight hug. John is left dumbfounded.

“What happened?” Klarion’s weak voice echoes in the rather quiet field. “Did you stop the harlot?”

Viperion helps the chaos incarnate stand. The group turns their attention to the figure tightly in the hands of Jagged. They start laughing.

“This is just the beginning. You have no idea what is coming for you. He will find you. I guarantee it.”

John has had enough of the secrets. He summons a butterfly, sends it to the figure, and it sticks. A bright orange wing mask appears on their face. It was time for him to get answers.

‘Who are you? How did you have control of Klarion and the Super sons?’ John says through the shared mindspace.

‘My name is Lila,’ the inner voice wavers, struggling to resist. ‘I had control of them through a miraculous he gave me. I cannot not answer you. What are you doing to me?’

‘I am getting answers. Who is he?’

The mindspace breaks before an answer is given. John has to blink out of it to realize what had happened. Jagged looks at Lila terrified.

The miraculous had completely surged through their body. The same bright green from before trails all the way through their veins. The miraculous itself was a ring on her ring finger. 

“That has to be purposeful. Who could have this sort of power with the miraculous, John?”

Raven had gathered her emotions enough to join the headspace. She was the only other one to hear the words of Lila. There was a force out there strong enough to affect Klarion through a miraculous.

Scarlet Billows walks over to Jagged. He reaches to the finger of the body, pulling the ring from it. It returns to its original state. 

“Constantine… I think we have a timestream problem.” Scarlet Billows shines the face of the ring toward him. 

A lightning bolt. 

“Bullocks. What did you do, Barry Allen…”

~

End Notes: Hmm what did you do to the timeline this time Barry? Or are they too quick to assume speedsters.

I said it earlier, but I will be making two more pieces to make up for the mistake on my end. There is another request that will be out next though of Constantine & Chloe adoptive shenanigans to look out for.

I could say this is an early Maribat Bio-Parent Month fic but nah. Shameless plug for that though! Go check that out on their blog here.