#that sounds like a good time and tbh might make me miss her less

[wizardsvslesbians]

Isaac here, with another recommendation response masterpost! It's a long one!

Anon said:

oh my godyou guys HAVE to cover metal from heaven by august clarke as the next thing to add to the list i just saw the reviews and it literally looks like main wizlez for the first time in quite a while

We actually have had an ARC of this one for some time, and we were intending to cover it! And I bounced off it real hard. So that's on me. Once it comes out properly and there's an audiobook I'll take another crack at it.

Seiya said:

“A Sweet Sting of Salt” by Rose Sutherland is for all the girlies who read Charity and Sylvia and wanted more of that. or, 19th century Nova Scotia selkie lesbians. the wizard is less a wizard and more a condemnation of the selkie folktale in general, but also the vibes are nice and this was a nice book

We're going to need a vibes are nice book - the vibes have been either rancid or very complicated for too long and I'm missing the simple days of boat lesbians and The Duke. Also it would be nice to follow up "Selkie Stories Are For Losers" from our last short story roundup.

Spiralochete said:

Not wizlez, but if you're ever in the mood, I would love to hear you guys discuss Borne by Jeff Vandermeer. It features a non-narcissistic parent of an extremely monstrous child, and I think it would produce interesting discussions in conversation with some of the previous entries in the podcast. I also think that the ecological themes would be an interesting change of pace. There are no prominent lesbians, but there are definitely wizards. If either of you have bounced off Jeff Vandermeer previously (I know that some people do), it's definitely a bit more accessible than the Southern Reach Trilogy.

I liked Annihilation! Then Authority bored me enough that I never bothered to finish it, so I'm, like, medium interested in this as a concept. Sounds like a guest episode, and so we'd need a guest who wants to cover it.

Anon said:

i think i might have just watched the first actual bona fide wizards vs lesbians film i've ever seen other than adolescence of utena, and i'm shocked i never heard of it before: harmony (2015), but for the podcast you guys might be more interested in the novel of the same name it's based on by project itoh (who i believe is also famous for having a kojima game dedicated to him posthumously). the novel is less explicit in the romance between protagonists (antagonists?) tuan and miach, which might be a point towards reviewing the film rather than the book, but it's up to you guys! really, really interesting stuff from this film, despite its flaws. it's good scifi

Any skepticism I might have had about this went out the window when I saw that Michael Arias co-directed the film. He directed Tekkonkinkreet, which is one of my five favorite movies of all time, one of the only pieces of media that makes me cry no matter how many times I go back to it, so I, at least, will be giving this a shot. Can't guarantee any more than that.

Anon said:

i know you only rarely cover graphic literature but tbh the more i think on it the manga land of the lustrous not only counts as (enby) yuri but also absolutely fits in the lesbian space atrocities/wizlez genre, the tragedy and war and double crossing and mental illness stuff with the initial motivation for everything being a gay crush that ruins everything.

I'm gonna be real with you: I had such a viscerally negative reaction to the anime when it came out that it would take a lot for me to dive into the manga. Toooo many lovingly rendered amputations.

Anon said:

have you guys ever read stuff by qing jun mo xiao? her baihe serials all are very much in wizlez mode as far as i can tell - clear and muddy loss of love has a full english translation available online, i dunno about female general and eldest princess but it's getting english volume releases!

There is an english translation online, but it's definitely fanwork, and with all respect to the person who made it it's probably best if we wait for an official release. When that does happen, I'm all for it.

Short recs:

the passion by jeanette winterson is a vintage wizvwlw novel i found recently which is magical realist napoleonic wars in venice - it might be of interest to you guys

On the list it goes!

the women could fly by megan giddings def looks like wizles, maybe it's worth checking out since it looks pretty interesting

On the list it goes!

i've not read it, but the light brigade by kameron hurley looks like interesting wizlez to me if you wanna check it out

I suspect we haven't done any Kameron Hurley books yet for a reason, but on the list it goes!

And finally, presented without comment:

Look I'm aware that due to the time commitment which is on par with reading Homestuck and the audio format it's basically impossible to cover all of it. But fellow wizards vs lesbians listeners should know that the magnus archives probably counts as wizards vs lesbians. There are a million wizards, women fall in love, and lesbians definitely attack the wizards. plus there's an assortment of bad mothers and monstrous children. It somehow has a coherent plot and themes by the end as well, if you can stick with the motw format long enough. However it's mostly wizard pov

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

I just got to reading a translation of "The wooing of Emer" online. Why is no-one (especially the online encyclopedias) talking about the fact Emer is fomorian?

why aren't the online encyclopaedias talking about it: bc they are not that useful for medieval irish literature most of the time, tbh, being heavily simplified and reliant on secondary sources that are often themselves not particularly reliable (although there have been efforts to improve some pages inc. wikipedia pages). loads of fun details missing from them, always

why isn't anyone else talking about it: eh. probably two main reasons

there's a lot of it around. cú chulainn's got a fomorian grandma (on lug's side) and no one ever really talks about that either. it's not that big a deal. i'm sure he's not the only one; can't throw a rock around here without hitting someone with a fomorian uncle or something. there's a lot more overlap / interaction between them and the tuatha dé danann than a simple oppositional binary would suggest, and family trees get fucky in general. being related to the fomoire doesn't automatically = being fomorian yourself bc belonging and kin-groups and stuff are a bit more complicated than that

i'm pretty sure it's only mentioned in tochmarc emire and only in passing and not directly in relation to emer herself, so it's easily overlooked even if you're dealing with that text and a lot of people will be dealing with other texts. it's also only in the later, longer redaction of the text and not in the earliest one, although so are a lot of things. if the authors thought it was important as part of her heritage -- whether they saw it as a good or a bad thing -- they would bring it up more often, but TE seems to be the only one that bothers to give background information about forgall's family tree, so mostly it looks like they think it's not that relevant. (although as it is not a particular focus of mine, it's entirely possible it comes up somewhere else and i just haven't noticed)

e.g. you might expect it to come up in fled bricrenn but it doesn't

sidenote: why the fuck henderson translations "ben ind fir as dech" as "wife of the best wight" i have no idea. it's just "fer"! it's just man! why are you trying to make cú chulainn sound even weirder than usual! it's a mystery to me. other than the fact it's from 1899 and people did whatever they wanted at that point tbh

(the parenthetical explaining the meaning of "Manach" is also editorial and not in the Irish; the meaning "tricky" may be more suitable bc it might have something to do with clessa, but that's getting into my friend emmet's in-progress research so i won't delve deeper there)

also, tethra, who is supposedly forgall's uncle in TE and who is described in the text as a "king of the fomoire" is a bit of a weird one iirc and there's potentially more going on with him than that phrasing suggests, although i can't remember the details and that's getting into cath maige tuired territory, at which point you're better off asking @margridarnauds bc it's not a topic i know a huge amount about

finally i'll be honest another factor is probably that there hasn't been a huge amount written about emer as a character. there's been a lot written about texts that she's in and her function there, but less on her just like, as a person (bc medieval celtic studies is a very small field, there are a lot of texts and characters, and there hasn't been that much written about anyone really). so lots of things don't get talked about. doesn't mean they're not worth talking about. just means nobody's got around to it yet.

[vivievienne]

The sentiments — Chapter 3

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: In which headquarter manager gets an unexpected call.

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: one of the best chapters i made tbh. inspired by a scene in mha

𝐓𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: might be ooc and that's a all ig

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 873

𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐍𝐞𝐱��

Telephones aren't anything new to Shiho.

It was her work to answer them and to take care of the information she got.

But this one was clearly unexpected...

"Hello, it's Tokio Pizza here", she heard a masculine voice in the phone.

"Is this a joke or something?", Shiho said bluntly. Though, the weird telephone makes her worried. How the hell they knew the number of the headquarter's phone? What if The Government knew about their location and they are in danger? She can't talk too long. She must let Ena know, so she will encrypt the sygnale from the headquarter. "I didn't order anything", she said calmly. She can't let her emotions win over. If they will, everything here will be ruined. She took the phone and walked to the Ena's place with a quick tempo.

"But I have written that you, miss, ordered one. Large pizza without vegetables. Quite a weird order if you ask me, but I only have to deliver that, yeah?", the man said with a chuckle.

But wait... Without vegetables? Weird order?

Shiho stopped in the middle of her way.

Is this Rui...?!

She saw that he was going out today after the captains went for the missions, but she thought he was just gonna take a walk or something...

This could explain why he ordered that the action must take place today...

He has to know how much risks it takes to call the headquarter.

That's why he is playing a pizza man...

Jeez, now it makes sense.

"Oh, yeah...", she decided to play along. "I forgot about that. It was quite a long time since I ordered. I'm really hungry."

"Oh, about that...", Rui started. She finally understood. He was quite proud of her. Not all people would understand this allusion, especially since he used the voice changer for this talk. "It's a traffic there, so I don't think I could make it in time, you know? So if you are not alone, miss, please, let your friends know that you will probably get a cold pizza."

"Oh, right", she said. So that's what it was about? He can't go back... But what happened...? No, don't think about that, it's not your role. "Though, when it will be delivered?"

"Hm... As I look at this traffic... Maybe a day?"

"Oh... Quite long... I hope that I'll get a refund at least", she said trying to keep her act.

Rui only laughed.

"Of course, you will, miss. But for now, have a nice evening."

"You too. Bye."

"Bye!", Rui pulled the phone on its place and went out from the telephone booth.

The City looked differently than he remembered it before he left. It was more... futuristic, if you ask him. As a quite sentimental person, he would say that he misses the old version of it, when he was a high schooler with big dreams of becoming a director. However, life not always writes us the scenarios we would like to play and we sometimes must accept that we have to be flexible when it comes to our fate meeting our expectations and dreams. Fortune is a wheel, isn't it?

Maybe out of sentiment he stays here, even though he's the most wanted man there and he would probably spend rest of his life in the prison, if he was caught, but he couldn't care less. He wanted to feel this atmosphere once again, even though it's not the same as it used to be. Exploring enemies territory was just a side effect and a good alibi to don't make Nene worried.

Overall, it's not that bad here... But if Rui thinks that most of people don't know what happens behind these walls, it terrifies him.

Tsukasa made something to separate people here from the reality.

He plays his greatest show with each day here.

Rui thinks that he got the stardom, he aimed for.

The greatest show.

He snorted.

It sounds almost unrealistic, however, it's happening here.

And everyone are actors and audience at the same time.

He's curious about one thing, though.

Does Tsukasa also know he's a slave to his own show?

***

"Akiyama! I got something for you", Shiho walked to her immediately after the call.

"What's up, Shii?", they smiled at her.

"Ugh, don't call me that!", she rolled her eyes. "Come with me. You must hear this."

As Mizuki followed Shiho, they eventually arrived at her desk. She opened the calls history folder on her computer and played it. All calls in headquarter are recorded to make sure that in these cases like this one, there is a clue.

"Who was that?", they asked after they heard the whole record.

"I think that this might be Rui, but I'm not sure..."

"But he's in his office, how could he?"

"You don't know?", Shiho was surprised. "He left a little later after the captains went for a mission."

Mizuki was slightly shocked...

Is he suicidal or something?

They sigh.

"Okay... Give it to Ena, so she will make sure that it was him, if he used a voice changer, and we will see... That's all, see ya later!", they said cheerfully. Though, they were really worried. She must go to Nene. Immediately.

taglist: @chocowhimsy-wonderhoyy, @wishing-on-a-snowflake, @tsukasa-memes, @minakolada

[swords-of-a-soilder]

Bless you for compiling what’s going on with that ex-bird app. It’s been genuinely insightful for me to understand the thoughts of the kinds of people behind those accounts.

That person trying to cancel creators for associating with Forever (and probably advocating for his lore to be excised from the server) saying “but I can’t possibly give up guapoduo, it’s My Hyperfixation” is very telling. Hypocrisy specifically in the context of “separating the art from the artist” isn’t something I’ve seen before, shockingly, so I guess I get to add that to my Social Media Discourse Bingo. (I had an online friend in 2016 who I was terrified to talk about my interests with because I didn’t know what angry punk teenagers on tumblr had deemed “evil and disgusting”, and even SHE stopped listening to some of her favorite metal bands when she learned they were homophobic, and had absolute turmoil when she learned that David Bowie might have allegedly slept with an underage groupie in the 70s. Her constant, unpredictable rage at seemingly random pieces of media was awful for my mental health, but at least she wasn’t a genuine hypocrite.)

Also that tone of “I’ve had good memories here… but I just can’t handle it anymore.” It sounds like someone whose meaningful but soul-crushing work has finally broken them, almost sounding like someone I knew at the frontline worker job I had mid-pandemic who missed her own birthday three years in a row, got repetitive stress injuries, and then got passed over for a promotion that was given to someone who did a fraction of the work. But the “God willing, I’ll never come back” was followed by “I’m 13” …damn, I got whiplash so hard that I astral projected into a universe where things made sense for a second. Because of course kids don’t have a complex view of other countries’ political systems or cultural pressures. Or the nuances of personal change and redemption. Or that sometimes people are just not online for a few days. And of course a 13-year-old doesn’t understand how dumb and petty they look by trying to ruin other peoples’ careers in the name of Activism (tm) while having a fandom portmanteau username.

“I didn’t want it to come to this but… I’m going to delete twitter!” I hope so, but more for their own sake, honestly. I actually have less anger towards most of them now. Many are kids with a false sense of grandiosity that makes them believe they are the ultimate moral authority, but have very little understanding of how messy people or societies can be. I just hope they can learn one day, and look back on who they are now and cringe. (And then many years after that, have the grace to forgive themselves.)

Oof, sorry for the wall of text.

I’m still not over the whole situation with Forever. I miss his energy, and his accent, and his silly bits with Richas that always dragged on too long, and N.I.N.H.O. (and everything it represented), and how different he and Cellbit are but how they understood each other WAY too well, and how he tried to make people who didn’t log onto the server as often still feel welcome and wanted, and how happy he got when anyone non-Brazilian even tried to speak a little bit of Portuguese. (I was learning, but I’ve barely touched it since.) I won’t lie, it’s affected me far more than I thought it would.

I miss Forever. Thank you for your blog being a little space where that’s okay.

I'm honestly a little worried for the kid (s), not in a "oh I just want the best for" fake bs way just a little concerned tbh. I still don't like them but I don't hate them either, they're a kid.

But at the same time I'm worried for their well being, they have like 5,000 follower on their main Twitter and 28 on curious cat (which is apprantly high for that app )

That's 5000 people (teens or not) waiting for you to tell them how to feel that can't be good for their mental state, not for a 13 yr old kid.

Most of their life was spent learning about the world and their still learning, these are the ages where you're worried about the sun blowing up.

You haven't seen how awful the world can be yet, You haven't seen how much worst it could get you haven't learned calculus yet!

To you the world is only these 13 years and you think if you don't act now everything will be over.

I get it, I had that fear too, most people grown into it and realize just how shitty it can get an settle in choosing their own battles and not letting It consume them, because no one had time for that anymore.

You want to experience the most out of live while you can and the older you get the easier it is to balance.

To me it looks like one of those situation where you'll look back and think "I wish I enojyed my childhood."

Because 5000 people waiting for you to tell them who to bash, 28 people prasing your while admitting they use to hate you.

It can't be good. And if they were to read this they'd probably say "oh you don't actually care you just want to shit on me."

And like, yeah I don't care, but am I saying all this because I want to shit on them? no I'm just pointing out concerns.

Apart from that I fully agree with anon.

[candyskiez]

Favorite The Owl House episode?

tbh, haven't rewatched the show in a long long time so might need to rewatch to be sure. for a while, it was eda's requiem. it means a lot to me and genuinely made me realize shit about myself. as dumb as it sounds it's what made me realize "...oh. if I died, that'd...probably fuck up the people around me." so it has a massively special place in my heart. and also the depth it gives eda! made me reevaluate shit about how I view parents and also just. god. the importance of found family and how important it is to acknowledge that it's just as important as blood family. found family is so often treated as secondary and seeing it portrayed as just as important is so fucking good and god! middle aged characters with depth! middle aged WOMEN with depth! some of the most accurate depression rep I've seen. she feels so real and raw and god, it's really nice to see a middle aged character who gave up learning to get back up again and stop feeling like they missed the best of their life and wasted it, and aaorudhdjd. god. I love eda. the music is beautiful and the duet is haunting, raeda fascinates me, and bard magic will ALWAYS be my favorite magic in toh.

I feel like the grey decaying thing works excellently as a metaphor for depression. it's what made me start going "is this a metaphor for mental illness?" because it FEELS like it. the voice acting is top tier and its so fucking good. it's just,,, man. a middle aged woman having an episode all to herself?? baby mes mind would've been BLOWN. her hatred of the curse wouldn't have hit nearly as hard without this episode, I think. the loneliness and feeling like it makes her Less is shown so well in this episode. it's just,,, man. as someone who's struggled with depression all my life, it resonates. she doesn't even CONSIDER king would still love her. raine saved her fucking life there and I'm still fucked up about it. it handles depression very well and its just. Man. that duet is one of the most memorable scenes in the show. darius abomination form is badass, raine's powers are so cool, the bats have my ENTIRE heart, the fucking MUSIC. brads music bangs. I love his soundtracks and this episode is just. always iconic to me.

that being said, I'm not entirely sure if it's my favorite episode right now? my brain flip flops on these things. right now I think it might be eclipse lake because it's just. SUCH a good episode. it's so gorgeous. the fight choreography, the animation, the lore, but most of all the EMOTION.

it has such excellent abuse rep. showing not only the complicated emotional reality of living with your abuser, of being dependent on your abuser, but also the fact that having an abusive relationship influences how you view ALL relationships. I love that amitys trauma isn't sidelined! what originally comes off as amity being a little TOO excited about having a girlfriend and also dana flipping off disney is shown to be amity being fucking terrified of losing this. she's so desperate to prove herself and since they're foils we gain knowledge as to what odalia and amitys relationship might've been like through hunter and gain insight into how hunter might view other relationships going forward through amity and it's LOVELY.

it also drives me insane that people use this episode as proof amity would hate hunter when. nah. nah, absolutely not. also I love how it shows how fucking KIND amity actually is. this boy's threatened and backstabbed her multiple times and is showing he's willing to do ANYTHING to win, and she still feels so much fucking sympathy for him. because she gets it. he's like her. she would've done this in his shoes. she offers him kindness and shows no sign of holding a grudge??? NONE???? this woman is fucking forgiving. she would have every right to hate his guts and she doesn't. idk what y'all mean when you say she's a jerk shes fucking KIND.

also hunters breakdown is painful to watch. I don't know what I can say about it that hasn't already been said. it's so raw and resonant, it feels like watching a real kid, it has such a realistic depiction of abused kids, what else can I say?

I also love the addressing of the cycle of abuse. hunter isn't a pure innocent baby here. he's manipulative and mean and cutthroat. hes a dick! I love him having anger issues because that's how abused kids often are! and I love amity backsliding! I love amity going tunnel vision! I love how realistic and painful the whole episode is!

they're just kids, man. you can tell the crew wanted this to be realistic and they succeeded.

I don't know which I like more. they're both just so GOOD.

(ask me things!)

[byebyeballoon]

Kdramas I have watched in recent months on my own without Alexis (bc she’s still recovering from her stroke):

Dr Slump (Enjoyed it. Really sweet RomCom that talked about mental health in a good way imo. Netflix)

Parasyte: the Grey (loved it. Netflix. Paranormal/horror show where aliens overtook human bodies.)

Strong Girl on Netflix. (Skip it. The original on Viki was way more entertaining, less cringe worthy, and not even comparable tbh).

Lovely Runner (was not a fan for multiple reasons. I went in further detail on my profile if you're that curious. This show was on Viki. Romantic comedy with a crime aspect and time travel. There are far better time travel shows like Twinkling Watermelon that doesn’t have as many ableist tropes).

DNA Lover (not thrilled. It was meant to be a comedy, but there were so many cringe worthy moments on this RomCom. The second lead treated her way better than the main lead as well).

Miss Night and Day (loved it. Netflix. Comedy with a paranormal twist. Female lead turns old in the day, young at night).

My Sweet Mobster (loved it. Viki. Comedy with crime aspect bc of the whole gang/mobster theme).

Sweet Home season 2 & 3 (Loved it. If you liked the first season I think you’ll also enjoy these last two. Netflix. Monster horror).

The Spies who Loved Me (Enjoyed it. Netflix. A comedy. The name says it all! Two spies love the same woman. I just have one episode left but have enjoyed it, even if the main lead was not hot. Feat. Alexis’ special boy from Bride of Habaek [he’s still her icon on her profile @terminalsecondleadsyndrome ] who I’ve enjoyed watching bc he’s way prettier.)

Serendipity’s Love (available on Viki. Stereotypical, but had cute moments. Not bad if you want a straight up romcom. But there are definitely better ones out there. Feat the female lead from Let’s Fight Ghost, Love Alarm, Tale of Nokdu and many more. She’s been a busy actress! Get that coin.)

Gyeongseong Creature (Monster Netflix show. First season is set in Japanese occupied Korea, and dealt with human experiments, which not everyone will be comfortable with. So trigger warning for parallels with reality. If you liked Sweet Home though, you might be interested in this one too. Just starting season two.)

Joseon Attorney (Viki, historical. Definitely didn't mind, had funny and sweet moments while also being interesting.)

Just started Love Next Door on Netflix after the election results bc I needed a mindless romcom. Only three episodes in so far, but its been okay.

I’m glad I ended up enjoying most of them! It’s been a good run for now. I hadn't watched as much for a bit because of class, but it sounds like Alexis and I will be back to our shenanigans soon. A few of these will likely make it on the watch list (esp Joseon Attorney bc she loves both the guys in that one). What were your thoughts on these shows? Any you liked but didn't see listed?

[atlaswav]

Regarding that music reblog can u drop some music recommendations 🙏🙏🙏

ABSOLUTELY I LOVE THIS QUESTION the day has finally come when someone has asked me for music recs 🤞🤞 (i didn't know what to start with so ur gonna get a bunch of random artists i like)

also if anyone wants to ask for recs for anything at all (like books, fics, writers, etc.) pls ask!! i love sharing 🥳

beabadoobee — i love love love her new album this is how tomorrow goes, its 10/10 and every time she makes rock music adjacent she never fails to eat down and devour. my recs for her are beaches, take a bite, cologne, talk and ripples because they all have a sort of nostalgic vibe. like they're somehow so familiar even though you've never heard them before. i love beabadoobee she's so good at what she does.

hozier — okay i know he's lowkey middle aged woman core but his lyricism AND production are literally unmatched i get why the lesbians love him. I'd recommend dinner and diatribes, jackie and wilson, northern attitude (by noah kahan ft hozier), angel of small death and the codeine scene and movement 🙏 his music makes me absolutely ascend to a different plane of existence.

laufey — call me a basic asian all you want but laufey synthesises older jazz/classical sound with modern lyricism and structure and creates something so beautiful i love her so much and i regret missing out on her concert tickets every day. i love love love night light, must be love, let you break my heart again, dreamer and lovesick, all her instrumentals never miss. her songwriting is also top notch and gives young, dumb and in love energy ykwim 😍

taylor swift — HEAR ME OUT her new album specifically the anthology half of ttpd has like no skips and i will die on this hill. her older music is good too but i am here to talk about the anthology. the anthology has 10/10 songwriting and minimal production which makes the lyrics stand out more and i love it. i'd recommend the black dog, the prophecy, how did it end and peter because they make me want to scream and cry tbh. also good inspo for fic writing LOL

billie eilish — i have been a fan of hers since my emo phase in 2018 and i can confirm that finneas' production is genius. honestly i recommend the entirety of hit me hard and soft because it was meant to be listened to continuously with all the melodic motifs and lyrical motifs but yeah. also no time to die was a cultural shift that changed my brains hardwiring.

chase atlantic — okay wild 360 from billie eilish and soft ballads (and this artist has lowkey been ruined for me by a certain someone..) but they do have bangers 🎉 i love heaven and back, right here, die for me and dancer in the dark, their music is really sexual though so uh parental guidance 🤞

the neighbourhood — i love love love the vibe of their discography and even though their music might be counted as "tiktok" music because of some of their popular songs they're still so good. I recommend reflections, compass, devil's advocate and stargazing. introspective kinda vibes with their music yk.

the arctic monkeys — I LOVE THEM AND i regret not going to their tour every single hour. alex turner might be a grandpa but i love his accent in his songs and the production is literally liquid gold. pls listen to stop the world i wanna get off with you, snap out of it, fluorescent adolescent, you're so dark, one for the road, and honestly their entire AM album. It's their most popular for a good reason i fear.

i feel like i've rambled way too much but i do have more if you'd like. can you tell i'm a mainstream music kinda person with a couple less popular artists 😭😭 ANYWAY THANK YOU FOR ASKING I LOVE SHARING MUSIC AND DISCUSSING MUSIC ITS THAT INNER MUSIC NERD WITHIN ME if you'd like classical music recs however i'd be too scared to say anything at fear of invoking the wrath of my other classically trained musicians

[nebulanewts]

So to the surprise of absolutely no one,here are my first impressions of each Fly With You!! solo song on the new Nijigasaki album :] (listen I’ve been waiting for this for SO LONG like…how many times have I referenced wondering when Nijigasaki’s 5th / 6th album to come out??)

🎀 “Walking Dream” : 7/10 - Ok,so the song itself is super pretty,it feels like I’m sitting on a cloud with the light + dreamy feeling it has,but here’s the thing…I read somewhere that the English lyrics were “interesting” and as someone who isn’t a big fan of yandere Ayumu memes I really didn’t want to believe it…but MAN did they run with it in this song,like she is way more aggressive this time like here’s some examples: “I want you to be trapped in me forever” “Who are you looking at? Don’t do that” “The private account you have, the secret hobbies you have - As long as it’s about you I know everything” - Like hello? Hi? Is it just me reading too far into this or what?? Because it looks to me like this was done on purpose 👀 idk it’s started to grow on me more now that I’ve heard the whole song,it’s not like my FAVORITE Ayumu song but it’s very pretty and I like it even if the lyrics are a little questionable cndjdj

👑 “Senobi Shittate” : 8 or 9/10 - Not gonna lie,I don’t think the preview did this song justice bc I wasn’t sure about it at first BUT the full song is definitely better,I like that they’ve been giving Kasumi more “mature” sounding songs bc while the cutesy idol sound works for her too,this sort of slower dramatic guitar song also fits her image a lot too :0c idk it’s a nice balance,we have songs for bubbly cutesy number one idol Kasumin and songs for the less confident shyer Nakasu Kasumi it’s a nice balance ^^ one of my favorites so far

💧 “Koakuma LOVE ♡” : 10/10 - Ok so my first impression of the preview still stands now because…um…HUH???? This does not sound anything like any other Shizuku song we’ve heard - it’s very fluffy and cute,she’s using onomatopoeia like “kyururin” and “doki doki”,she even talk-raps at some points…wait a minute…this isn’t a Shizuku song at all,this is a Kasumi song! It’s like Mia sent these two the wrong songs on accident,but they didn’t notice and went with it anyway chdjdj but I love it,it’s still one of my favorite songs on this album for the sheer silliness alone it’s fantastic,tbh she never makes a bad solo song in my opinion

👠 “My Shadow” : 10/10 - KARIN! NEVER! MISSES!! I’m just so happy that she finally has a jazzy funky song,it’s a sound I’ve always wanted her to try and now that she has one it’s AMAZING! It really suits her,one of my favorite things about Karin is that she never does the same concept / sound twice like there’s something for everyone and I love it,I love this song it MIGHT be my one of my favorites on the album and my favorite Karin solo it’s SO good

👏 “Request for U” : 7/10 - Well…I like that they slowed it down this time for Ai,plus the funkier trumpet sound is nice idk how to describe it’s not BAD,like it wouldn’t be an instant skip for me but I’m not going out of my way to listen to it ykwim?? For me I like her other solos a lot better,but it’s a good listen regardless

🐏 “Cooking with Love” : 12/10 - YEP! This one is my favorite,I knew it would be just from the preview but this did not disappoint like we know Kanata can do EDM bc of Butterfly - but they took it to another *level* with this song,it’s so sweet and sugary but then the DROP??? The drop near the end blew my mind,like I definitely didn’t see that coming that at all,it was amazing I love this song so much omg - to think Kanata would be the second Nijigaku member to have a kawaii bass-ish song along w/ Rina is a little bit of a surprise,but definitely a welcome one ^^

🎙️ “Cherry Bomb” : 9/10 - First of all,Hayamaru is a SPECTACULAR Setsuna like she captures the feeling of the character while also doing her own thing if that makes sense I think this is a great debut song for her,usually I’m pretty 50/50 on Setsuna’s songs but this one is really good :0c I love the drums and how high energy it is,it’s definitely up there on my favorite songs on the album and favorite solos of hers

🍞 “Koisuru Sunflower” : 8/10 - …ok so I mean this in the nicest way possible,but this song kinda sounds like the Coconut Mall theme in Mario Kart not fully but a little bit ok cndjdj anyways smth I like about Emma’s solos is they always have this warm comfy feel like they’re just hugs in song form - this one feels like I’m chilling on the beach,watching the sunset w/ a fun little drink in hand and it’s really nice :] not much else to say,I just like this song a lot which isn’t surprising because all of Emma’s solos are pretty good

🛜 “Watashi wa Magnet” : 6/10 - Well…this may be the first Rina solo that isn’t immediately one of my favorites,it’s kind of like Ai’s where it’s not bad but I’m not gonna seek it out ykwim?? It’s a cute song but not really my style,it’s a little slower than I expected it to sound ig

🔖 “Koufukuron” : 5/10 - Y’know,I was REALLY hoping that they just previewed the wrong part of the song but…why would you give this girl outfits with names like “Royal Skeleton” and “Undead Celeb” if you’re going to give her a generic pop ballad?? It’s not like. The worst song it’s fine but it’s definitely my least favorite Shioriko solo 😔 which makes me sad because I love her so much…maybe it’ll grow on me but for right now it’s my least favorite solo on this album like again it’s not horrible but I’m a little disappointed because imo her outfit choices built it up to be something it isn’t ykwim??? Maybe that’ll change but for now it’s kinda meh imo :/

🎩 “Lemonade” : 7/10 - So we’ve gone from a Taylor Swift song in 2006 to Avril Lavigne song to Avril Lavigne b-side and now we’ve circled back to a b-side on a Disney pop star’s album,honestly I’m loving Mia’s song journey chdjdj but this is probably my favorite out of the slower songs,it’s just cute and boppy Mia has one of my favorite voices in Nijigaku + I think she can pull off a lot of different concepts w/ this being no exception - not much else to say,it’s just a nice song (and I’m glad that they’ve dialed it back w/ the weird lyrics for her…for a second there she always got the slightly suspicious lyrics but this time it’s decent)

🪽 “5201314 (I Love You Forever)” : 10/10 - WHOA!!!! Lanzhu bringing in the HEAT after all of the slower songs before her,oh my g o d this song is amazing :0 I like that she speaks Chinese more,I like that it sounds like video game BGM,this might have topped Ye Mingzhu for me when it comes to Lanzhu solos like…that intro alone slapped me in the face but in the best way possible WOW this song is awesome,as expected of the queen herself to end this set of solos with a bang

🌈 “Fly with You!!” : 9/10 - Usually Nijigaku’s group songs aren’t really my thing,but this one is nice :] it makes me think of like…Hirogaru Precure for some reason even tho I haven’t seen a single episode of any Pretty Cure series cjdjdj it’s a little orchestral but also a good cheer up song idk what it is,but it’s probably one of my fave group songs now

[asexualbookbird]

okay finished daughters of izdihar last night and have sat on it. I finished it myself, not via audio, and I think the audio did it a real disservice but i still dont think i would have enjoyed it a whole lot.

the audio hm. the narrator for Girogina is that same who does the Rool & Rose audios and i LOVE her there but she felt kind of flat? I wonder if it was just Giorgina as a character though because i found myself liking Giorgina less in book form and Nehal more compared to the audio. I mentioned it before but Nehal's narrator would cut out at some points and it sounded like it was dubbed over? Rerecorded and cut in? mostly with non English words so I wonder if she pronounced things wrong and went back and fixed it. Which is good and fine and how things should be but it was jarring to listen to.

the book itself though! wow did i want More. More weaving, mostly. I did my best not comparing it to Avatar, but uh. When our main character who I've been picturing as Katara suddenly starts bloodbendingweaving uhhhhhHHHH its kind of hard. I did NOT want a Magic School Story, but we just breezed right on by Nehal learning how to use her power. She took one class and was The Best At Weaving. I like her drive as a character and that people do call her out for being brash, but honestly? I don't think she's selfish! She's a little out of touch in terms of her wealth and reputation, but she's not as selfish as her mother makes her think she is!!

Nico sucks. Giorgina my girl you can do soooo much better. The guy won't stop asking you to be his concubine no matter how many times you say no. Dump him lmao I dont care how progressive he is. HE'S the selfish one. Its just hes the best this world has in terms of men. So. Slim pickings

I think my biggest complaint is I could easily find this plot and characters in a YA novel and I did not want to read a YA novel. I mentioned before, I'm trying to be aware about that Feeling when the book is by a woman, especially a woman of color, and deals with diversity and civil rights. There IS a problem with people calling those books YA despite ABSOLUTELY NOT BEING YA (poppy war lmao, babel, night circus) but this is on the cusp i think much like Bone Season is. And in the same way, leans too heavily on that YA side. The useless parents (adults in YA), love triangles (I feel like this one can resolve in a way id like tbh, though i wish itd go the iron widow route lol), emotional immaturity (trying very hard to remember being 22 and how emotionally immature i still was but my god i was not Like This). The bones are here, the meat is missing.

Something I DID enjoy though was Giorgina wasnt seen as weak for keeping her head down!! Yeah Nehal looked down on her sometimes, but the narrative didn't. Nehal learned sometimes you have to do things quietly and Giorgina learned sometimes you have to be loud. It was a good duality! And something that bugged me a LOT about Girls of Paper and Fire. So for real this book wasnt All Bad! I might even grab the sequel from the library eventually. It just. Was disappointing.

[muff1nqwq]

sorry i havent been around in a while, things have gotten crazy, im sure you get it. my first day of being a sophmore (10th grader) starts tomorrow and while im not extremely nervous it is also 11:50 at night and i have to wake up at 6:15, ignore the specific time as it is never specific, its an estimate at best.

i have this thing called band camp that has been going on for the last couple of days. basically i play my trumpet (her name is Margaret) for 4 hours in preparation for football season (im in the band, we have to play at football games) idk where you are ofc, so to clarify, this is american football. the concussion sport.

i picked up tarot reading and it's super silly, i would recommend. its funny to think that the cards are supposed to have their own personality. id say that i dont see it, but they told me to shut up once, sassy ass cards...

i havent been hurting myself as much because of how busy i am + how cold it is. a thing about me is that i cannot ever cvt when its cold. maximum discomfort. 0/10 stars. not funky fresh.

my ex and i started talking less often and im kinda glad it happened, which might be mean to say, considering were friends still, but theres so much to do, to worry about that i can barely keep up with things.

anyways, i think thats most of it. btw if you ever dont know how to respond to one of my rambles, id love it if you might just add your own story? about anything!!!! i like hearing from you!

— rin

hiya Rin :DDD I missed u!!

GL in school!! I'm gonna b a Freshman this year and I'm excited-nervous abt it... At least its gonna b the same ppl ( even though the principal warned us abt a rush of new students, but its better than going 2 a brand new school ) I gotta fix my sleep schedule so bad, I stay up till 3am and wake up at noon :'3

:0000 IM IN BAND TOO :DD I play clarinet :3 ( btw I love how u called football the "concussion sport" XDDDD )

Tarot reading sounds so cool :000 i rlly like astrology and numerology ( I'm an Aquarius :3 )

4 me it's still hot af here, even though snow melted like 3 weeks b4 summer break :> but yesterday I went 2 go walk my doggo and right as we were turning back, it started raining, and my dumbass didn't bring a jacket and I was wearing an oversized T-shirt and shorts, so I was running ( in flip-flops ) 4 ten mins in the rain tryna get back 2 my house lolol X'3

That sounded like a line from a book I read a few yrs ago XD ( but I hope ur still finding time 4 urself :) )

A few nights ago I was rlly, RLLY hyped up 4 highschool... Same school, few new kids, new teachers, maybe a new rep... Then I thought abt what my rep would b like. I mean tbh I don't mind if I'm known as a weirdo furry theatre kid, but last yr my ex-bestie spread nasty rumours bout me, manipulate me and my friend group, and overall make everyone avoid me. At least my friends knew what she's all abt and stuck w me 4 the whole yr, but like... What if the rumours spread 2 the new kids and bad stuff happen?? So then I stayed up thinking bout that and at 2am I multiswiped 10 times and I named the cvt Jeffo :3 ( I haven't cvt in weeks cuz I didn't have many Band-Aids left )

Have a good day Rin :DDD

-Muffin

[goliraz]

cracker island track by track review

'review' used very loosely. These R the thoughts of a tipsy scouser

got too long so it's hidden; it is mainly critical tbh not because Im negative or mean its just my track by track thoughts and on sound alone this (2 me) was the weakest album they've ever put out

cracker island: if it came on in a club I would dance to it but I don't know if Id be having a great time. The song feels way more redundant than it might actually be because there's only like 1 melody in it. The instrumental melody & the vocals r the same. So IDK it's like. Its definitely technically a song. But it's like the bare minimum of a song

oil: I wish if any of the songs on this album broke from the popsynth fake drums mold it would be this one. The thing about Stevie Nicks is I don't listen to fleetwood mac at all but her voice is so unique and captivating. It crushes me like an anvil on my head that they didn't even let her sing on her own + kept her to a secondary harmony the whole time. This more than any of the other songs would have benefitted from real instruments IMO. The up a perfect fourth down a perfect third hook is catchy & that pattern can't fail it sounds good nomatter what.

the tired influencer: at this point in the album Im starting to wonder why they even bother with the characters playing instruments anymore cos what did noodle do on this album. There's like no guitar at all on the album. All the bass is synth bass. The characters' function in the band/story is getting less & less relevant to the music it annoys me. IDK this song is boring 2 me. Its like if the Fall was overproduced and had nothing 2 say

silent running: this song has always since it came out felt half finished. It's like the basis of a song that's not done IDK I feel like it's missing a component that might make it feel whole. The feature could have been deleted and the song would be the exact same; something I notice about the features on this album except Bootie brown & bad bunny is that they're extremely underutilized to the point where they might not have even been there. Like ur featuring an artist to do a background harmony??? Maybe this song will feel more done & real when I hear the piano version

new gold: 1 of the better ones on the album for me completely because of Bootie brown. Even though they took a rapper who is so strong and good even (especially) live and put his voice through 100million filters and dampened his skill completely. The live version of this one is how I wish it sounded on the album cos the energy of Bootie's part in that saves this song; timing is kind of cool but it's not like. New in any way.

baby queen: if they had changed the presentation of each instrumental in this song they could have made it an 80s synthpop genre piece like aries that would have been 4x better. I wish it wasn't so so so so so so boring to me. It just sounds like all the other songs on the album IG it feels like a filler song to me. Even just better/less smooth tone/effects on the synth wld have been something but suppose not

tarantula: it's catchy but it feels low effort. The lyrics r dumb IDK how else to put it not that they're inherently stupid but they're dumbed down. Compared to sum of their earlier more 'romantic' minded lyrics like every planet + some of the stuff off plastic beach, "if ur good for me and Im good for u then that's all I need in my life" sounds like a 2014 pop lyric geared towards the 11-16 age demographic u feel. Lyrically they've dumbed down their shit so much

tormenta: fine I guess. It's mid reggaeton that's too produced and smooth to even dance to. If it came on in a club compared to most other bad bunny songs I've heard not even the bad bunny fans would dance. It's like. Too slow to be what the only things going for it would suggest it is. The little synth break at around like 2:40 is the prettiest thing in the song to me I wish maybe they had leaned more towards that for tone instead of trying for something the song is just not

skinny ape: the third better song on the album. In terms of like well these are better than the rest. Like it's this new gold and oil I think. Maybe this is the song that feels the most comfortable in what it is. It sounds exactly like 2012 radio pop in the self proclaimed "alternative" genre like grouplove an shit. Like it sounds like 1 song in particular but I cant remember what it is and its driving me fucking mental. Something about it is likeable even though the lyrics are so fucking dumb I wanna tear my ears off. U are not a cartoon G damon u are an embarrassing middle aged geezer

possession island: like if Idaho kind of forgot its poignancy. But there's something really beautiful about the first minute of it. Maybe this is actually one of the better ones too. The further Im getting into it the more Im liking it. I don't see why beck had to be there. It's like the plague of this album they feature someone to literally sing backup. Anyway the further I get in this song the more I like it I think it's my favourite song on this album probably. OK goodbye

addendum: if I listened 2 any of these songs coked out of my mind they'd probably sound fine so maybe I should just save this album 4 those circumstances

[thedelolos]

neverafter ep. 4live thoughts

okay here are my live thoughts from neverafter ep. 4 under the cut

Live thoughts on Neverafter 4

The opening didn’t change?? I hope that this means good things for the party 

THEY STARTED WITH BRENNAN ALONE ufbbuw Like you can just tell by the audio quality change (there aren’t any other people to reverb against so the mic sounds flatter)

YES GEPPETTO

WE ARE GETTING TIMELOOP? HVGJHKGHHKT

SOLO PLAY

“Hey lou, you wanna come play some dnd?”

“I don’t know, cause it feels like you’ll kill me again”

This is great truly

Wait are we getting like? An episode of solo sessions?? That’s really cool tbh

I will be making a lou reaction image because these facial expressions that he’s making are really good Poor pinocchio, i can’t imagine being in this state 

“While the world was changing, the rules were not” i think that line is actually really powerful, like it’s small. But i think it is central to pinocchio as a character. 

WHO’S THIS??

WE GOT A CRICKET

Where’s my ghost cricket art 

Yooo Pinocchio ghost 

One man’s dead is another man’s alive

Pinocchio is so sad and i feel bad for him 

“With that attitude it might just stay different”

Strings?? Stepmother again? 

Wait was that the door behind brennan?? That’s really cool 

Gosh Stepmother is terrifying 

A missing doorknob?? He actually got the door knob.

WAIT BRO DON’T TELL HER BRO 

‘YOU WERE FRUENDS”

NO THE NOSE 

Give me the knife

Untranslusent 

The long arm, this is really some other mother stuff 

Pinocchio gotta break that nose back off quick, he’s gonna have to lie if he wants to break free of her   

SNAPS THE NOSE OFF YOUR FACE YO WHAT

Yeah i’m officially terrified of her 

“Who do we know who has blood?”

NOOOOO SHE’S GONNA TAKE BLOOD FROM HIS DAD NOO

BRENNAN BIRD NOISES

NOOOO SHE USED HIS NOSE 

SHE’S SO EVIL AND MANIPULATIVE

No more Senator?? *cries*

“Dreamy – and all it cost was my father’s blood”

“The mice were not taken into consideration” no because nobody ever remember the mice

A NAT 20 AND NO ONE IS HERE TO CELEBRATE

Violence in Amanti?? 

Like the drawings in tim’s book?? Interesting. So it seems like she has some sway over the stories, if she can put him into a new one 

I’m really curious to see how things change for pib 

Dropped attachments? Dropped to all fours 

Follow the curiosity, become a truer version of yourself 

SPIRIT CAT 

Shedding your skin? 

Wait are they the same people who become different people in different tales? 

So the role of the cat is to subvert the story one way or another? 

Could Zac come back as the rabbit or the fox? 

“Not all shit’s the same buddy” 

Cat i love you never change 

New boots and cape, a darker story? 

A little less paddington lol  

A ring and daggers, inchresting 

Wolf’s fang daggers

She awakes back in her bed, fresh flowers in the the vase. Wait are we finally gonna get to meet cindy?? 

Yo this armor is cool as hell 

“We’re somewhere a little unfinished”

“We can die more often than most people”

Poor Rosamund

So do Rosamund and Cinderella and Snow

Destiny is a project by the fairies 

This line about the coat is epic 

So Rosamund is a Ranger 

Cinderella is an Eldritch Knight Fighter or Paladin maybe?

A Snow is a spellcaster, based on the learning line i’m gonna go wizard 

CRIT

DANG THESE NARRATIVE CRITS 

So the book has awakened the party?

 Many of the kinder worlds have already died, keep an eye out for witches and and especially fairies 

12 DANCING PRINCESSES??

So basically Snow and Cindy are creating a coalition of princesses 

7 fairies?? 

Wisdom as one of the gifts? That makes so much sense with rangers being wis casters

YOO She’s got the spindle now that’s so cool, i wonder if she can use that to put other people to sleep, like if it is attached to an arrow 

I wonder if Red and Pib are in the same woods, 

“you already killed me once?” is that how red got her curse?

I wonder if the cha check is gonna come up 

Ylfa i love you you silly little girl

“The only time you will accept to make your life worthwhile is forever” that’s metal brennan

“My grandma taught me how to shop” 

YLFA ASKING ABOUT JACK CRYING

Ylfa really do be like, “Can I call my grandma? I’d like to phone a friend”

YLFA I’M CRYING SHE DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER THAN THIS WORLD

“There’s a part of her that ate the wolf too” grandma got grandma swag 

I really hope that the warmth on the cloak is a protection enhancement or something bc if were gonna open ylfa’s bottleneck again then she’s gotta have a higher AC lol 

Blood in the water oh no 

MURPH NAT 1 

YO IT’S PINOCCHIO’S FAIRY

I’m very suspicious of her 

Mmmm nope i’m here for the princess revolution i don’t trust the fairies 

NOPE DO NOT TELL THIS FAIRY ABOUT THE BOOK 

“If anything this is a sequel” lol

So Elody is part of the princess pact (yes that is what i am calling the princesses now)

DO NOT GIVE THIS SHARD

I don’t think she can touch the glass because it’s an artifact to go in the book 

Wait so did gerard never get turned human in this new story?

Curious to see how ally’s play through is different because mother goose is the holder of the book 

“Run afoul” i’m crying brennan

Mother goose is preserving the stories in the way they should be and leaving them happy?

So jack is not mother goose’s son in this world So that is how this world will be darker for mother goose, because his son won’t be his son there 

So the gander is satan and the goose is god? 

WAIT WAS I RIGHT ABOUT MOTHER GOOSE’S SUBCLASS?? COLLEGE OF SPIRITS WOULD BE SO GOOD IF THEY CAN JUST SUMMON STORIES FROM THE BOOK 

Maybe it’s a modified version of the subclass with the stories as new homebrewed tale from beyond options to choose from 

I think i trust the goose? Because the goose doesn’t seem to want to control the stories 

“You view all the world as your children” crying 

“It’s a very safe waiting room”

Extra spells known?? Intriguing, hopefully more crowd control and heals 

“The book is not as special as the man who holds it” 

Yay everyone back to the table!!

That was a really good episode, i’m really glad that we have this timeloop this is gonna be a fun season

[whatswrongwithmeh]

05/07/2024

I had a few good days when I believed I doomed their relationship. It was a little tricky tbh because my mind was pretty occupied by this. It was like reopening my wounds but I thought the goal was worth it. Anyways, it didn’t work. 5 days later they still played games together. I wonder how that checks out. I’m really angry because I probably would’ve pushed cheating aside as well. I loved him so much I forgave everything. Until the very bitter end I never left him for what he did to me and I let myself be pushed around and be left. I can never say that I realized my worth or anything because I would’ve never left. He did a good job picking someone with even less self esteem than me. He can pull any stunt he wants and probably gets away with it. It’s kinda gross. Maybe I got left because she’s even easier? He got bored after breaking me so much. No look, I would be fine if she would get to experience the same shit I experienced. Like she got cheated on in less than a month. But he talks his way out of these things. Master manipulator. I’m scared. Everyone says he won’t change but I’m scared he might. I’m scared he’s gonna treat her well and improve. And they get to have something somewhat healthy and happy. It’s not fair. It’s poisoning my mind. It sounds so delusional to talk about healthy after he cheated but maybe it was only with me and now it will never happen again. Maybe that’s something you can suppress and ignore. I mean if it really never happens again? It only stopped because I moved out and the easy access is gone. It’s disgusting. Why is it working out? I’m going insane.

I thought I have no tears left to cry but I woke up in the morning several times just crying like I broke up yesterday. I miss him and it’s painful because I would’ve forgiven it too. It’s pathetic but despite all his lies and him mistreating me we had some good times. And I don’t want him to thrive right now. It’s an unfair shortcut through missing me. I don’t even know if he misses me. After my stunt I think he has a valid reason to hate me. That would be too easy on him. And it really scares me. Despite everything I was hoping to be someone worth missing. I want to feel like a loss. And at this rate I was only a burden, a toxic wrong piece and switching me out brought happiness to everyone except me. I’m really hurt. I loved him he was supposed to be my forever. I was hoping with time and patience he’d improve and we’d get along. But I was just not desirable anymore. I feel so terrible about myself I don’t know what to do. His entire family disliked me compared to her. 6 years for what.. That everyone is glad I’m gone? I hate this so much

I feel like I was set up for failure, I didn’t deserve this. What’s happening to me is unfair and I want someone to make up for it. Does Karma really not exist? I haven’t seen it pay out like ever.

Why did I even bother to bust him, I only hurt myself. They probably overcame that together and even grew closer, uniting over their shared hatred for me. I did them a solid. I’m sad. I’m driving my car and I’m sad he won’t drive me around when he gets his license. He probably won’t waste a thought for me. I wanted that life so bad. It wouldn’t have been good but he was always enough for me. It feels noble to say and it hurts even more that despite all that it was me who wasn’t good enough.

All that patience. I cried a lot while being with him. The lies hurt. Why do I sometimes feel like it was worth it? What is it about him that I keep glorifying and loving? It’s stupid I can never have it back. It wasn’t even that good. How long will it take for me to really feel that way? I can only hope that loneliness is making me feel this conflicted and delusional. And as soon as I experience genuine love and touch I can leave this behind. I’m sadly just really sheltered and stuck. I don’t know how to find someone who would want me. I don’t even want myself.

Im still terrified of rejection. I hate being alone..

[kwon-eunbi]

I do not miss the constant deadlines of academia at all. Like, I loved going to class and learning and filling my head with interesting things, but the stress of deadlines and exams were awful. Being a librarian would be so amazing, would you want to work in a small library or a big one? Or like a community library or an academic one?

It was actually for Chinese linguistics, it was about tracing modern languages back to Middle Chinese and untangling how they evolved. I speak Mandarin, Russian, and English, and I’m supposed to speak French, but I don’t, don’t tell anyone. I lived in Paris and my dad’s partner is French Canadian, but I can only kind of read it. I love learning languages, though, I started Korean for an ex (when we were together ofc) and even though that’s over I keep going back to it because I enjoy the puzzle of sentence construction.

It's a good cover! Sounds basically the opposite of Wooyoung’s, and yet I think both of them capture the emotions of the song and lyrics in different ways.

I have such a soft spot for “Say My Name”, it was when I started listening to them, and I was like look at these kiddos going WILD. “Bad bitch, watch her do coke” indeed! But I do love when Hongjoong dresses fashionably but in an artsy way, if that makes sense, where he uses looks that aren’t exactly pretty as part of his performance, like the mullet in 2019. But honestly he’s just a crazy good performer, he could wear a paper bag and I’d be applauding wildly like YES king you are SO right. And Wooyoung with his little brother vibes off the chart through the whole era (and every other era tbh).

I like their melodic songs a lot, when I get frustrated with a piece on violin, I’ll play a little kpop song as a reset for fun, and “Precious”, “Horizon” and “Inception” are all go-to songs for that. But when I listen to their more melodic songs, I’m digging through there for the harmonies cause I just find those so much more interesting, when San finally gave in and started modulating in their performances of “Turbulence” on It’s Live? Ohhh those got me. He said no tritones on my watch! I might prefer their less pretty music tho? Like “Fireworks” or “Deja Vu” or “The Real”. I don’t know, but there’s not really a wrong answer.

For “Guerilla”, I joked that I wanted a nardcore comeback, my friends told me to be realistic, I said well now I’m gonna speak it into existence, and when Jason Sears possessed Mingi for those thirty seconds I went back to them like What Did You Say To Me. I think I would have liked it more with less pitch correction but I’m very annoying about punk music so ignore me.

I’ll check out Lucifer then! I need a new show for my cardio workouts, and if there’s five seasons then it’ll last a while. I remember what I saw of it was that it was a fun show, and I love a good monster-of-the-week show, so it’ll be great for those early mornings.

Thanks for letting me ramble haha I love talking about music. I hope you’re resting well and getting lots of sleep.

--🎅

hiiiii, sorry for not responding sooner, i didn't have time to sit down and respond properly bc yk uni and my friend came to stay with me so it's just been hectic lmaoo (i literally open tumblr, reblog the first gifset on my dash i see and close it), but how are you doing?? i hope well!! <33

ahhh i so get you about the deadlines. i enjoy going to lectures the first few weeks of the semester too but then i just... get bored of it and i just wanna skip them all but most of them check attendance so i can't skip too much :(( honestly i would just love to work in a library, idec which one just one yk, but in this economy and yk libraries not being such popular places anymore, i would be lucky to land a job anywhere....

omgggg that sounds sooo interesting!! i really love chinese but i don't think i would ever attempt to learn it cause honestly my brain isn't equipped for that so i truly admire you for not only knowing it but also studying its linguistics wow!! and ohh damn you speak russian too, well yk we could understand each other on basic levels cause my mother tongue is croatian. and yess, korean is so fun to study, i really wish i had more time to dedicate to it.

ohhh so you're basically a "veteran" atiny, love that! omg yess hongjoong and his fashion sense and his painted pinkie ahhhh it's amazing trulyyyy, and i agree he's an amazing perfomer, honestly all of ateez are, they're just crazy good it's insane!!

OMG YOU PLAY THE VIOLIN???!? wooow!! i love violin so much i always wanted to learn to play it wow you're truly so talented wowww!! and honestly i agree with you on it all! they truly have a discography to fit your every mood like no joke! btwww did you see the teasers for the new cb??? i caaant wait tho i am a bit disappointed that we're getting only two new songs but yk they've been working too hard this year i wasn't expecting a cb yet anyway but i'm definitely going to enjoy it fully!!

broo i love punk/rock/alternative in general so i'm really loving all of these new songs, like since rocky i was just AHHHH YESSS this is what i needed!! yk even tho i do love their more melodic songs, i hope they go in this punk direction a little longer cause it suits them so well and i definitely love the songs

yess lucifer is amazing and yk some seasons have more eps so it would definitely last you a while hahah

and feel free to ramble whenever you want! soon in the dms too hehe and again sorry for not responding sooner! i hope you're doing well too and getting rest <333

[sometimesanalice]

Amelia! AMELIA! A-ME-LIA! I cannot even begin to tell you how much I LOVED THIS CHAPTER! I knew it was going to be good, but you’ve properly killed me with just how good it was! The banter, the vibes, the Dirty Dancing of it all! I am so hooked on this series! I love these characters of yours!

To the Jake girlies who haven’t read this yet, COME GET YOUR MAN! THIS IS THE ONE! (but also, to my Bradley babes, like you’ll want to read this too. I would not lead you astray! it’s a stellar series!)

(my unhinged thoughts below! warning: there are a lot of all caps)

Nora half-suspects Bradley found from searching Hawaiian shirt comma eighties disco and ordering the first option.-- I know this man is doing the minimum, and I would be willing to bet that two-day delivery promise had that shirt on his doorstep mere hours before the party started, lol

“Are you okay, Bradshaw? You’re sweating a little.” And as only a mature and newly minted 36-year-old could, Bradley ignores Nora.-- Plsss I can see his face now. She’s merciless and I love her! But also Bradley Bradshaw being a little drama queen (his one bad bruise, lol) and nervous about rollerskating is so endearing to me.

“Admiral Simpson says – and I quote. Put Miss Rogers down. She's a loan." -- THE WAY I CACKLED. “A loan” omg I cannottttttt

Bradley barks out a laugh, apparently not very intimidated. Should Nora be offended? He should be like... a little afraid, at least.-- I really am so obsessed with their history. They’ve got such a great dynamic, like can’t I root for both?

She peers down at her own skates and sees only a bright cherry red. Damn. She would've loved a bubblegum pink in this dress. -- girl same, its Barbiecore 2023!

"You'll be fine. Balance is the hardest part. We can even hold hands."

She wiggles her fingers in his direction, teasing, gleaming an iridescent pink that matches her dress. -- not me looking and admiring my verrrry chipped  iridescent pink nails at this part. maybe i’ll repaint them the same color because I want to live in this chapter and these vibes.

Maybe if Bradley falls, Nora can get a good shot on her phone. She'll frame it. A memento for the birthday boy.-- she’s ruthless. i love her.

"Is it like, part of the admission requirement for Top Gun? Like America's Next Top Model, except instead of Tyra Banks, Admiral Simpson is there."...Congratulations. You’re still in the running to be America’s Next Top Gun graduate.-- the mental image of this is everythingggg

Robbie frowns a little.-- the fact that Nora thinks of him as “Robbie” sometimes makes me giddddyyyy

She tips her head back and sees an upside down – and very amused – Jake.-- 🥰

Jake drawls, "No. You're always a little mean," and makes it sound like a compliment. Warmth slips down her spine, and Nora swallows hard.-- I AM A PROUD SUPPORTER OF THE JAKE LOVES MEAN GIRLS AGENDA 

Can you? Nora doesn't need to repeat the question from the kitchen – over a week ago now – for Jake to hear it in her voice. Can you keep up with me?--AHHHHHHHHH!

"We only just met, Nora, but I think I might be in love with you." She grins. "Hm. That's too bad."-- tbh big same

Everyone is a little more drunk and a little less self-conscious in the silver gleam of the disco ball, spinning and shining like a glittering moon. -- ok but I would sell a kidney to be at this party!

And in the rink, Nora is pleasantly surprised to find that the limited rollerskating abilities – emphasis on limited – Teen Nora used over a decade ago now have been dormant somewhere in the back of her mind. Not lost in the endless spiral of time. -- ugh i loved this!

"And who would stand here and admire that sparkly little dress of yours then, darlin'? You should wear that on Monday." Nora gives him the finger, and Jake laughs. -- I will never get over their chemistry and the banter. I’m kicking my feet they’re so cute.

Eventually, Bradley joins the rest of them. He picks it up quickly, just like Nora predicted. He only rams into the side of the rink once and like, barely. -- since she doesn’t want him, I’ll take this uncoordinated drama queen of a man 

She was never so much great as Nora was unafraid. Not afraid to, as Mom often said, fail with her whole heart. Take the leap.-- 🥺

Javy asks, "Ever been more than friends?"...Cool as ice, Nora asks, "Maybe. Maybe not. Who's asking?" and arches her eyebrows. She'd really like to ask, Who told you?-- I’m dying for this tea too. I parched for more of them. I’m here for her and Jake, but if you didn’t want me to ship Nora with literally everyone, why did you have to make her so damn cool? (how she teases bob, how her and natasha could go to all the documentaries together, how much chaos could her and cause. i’d be here for all of it like the marvel universe of nora and the dagger squad, lol)

She remembers what Jake had said almost a week ago, "You like that I can keep up with you," and goddamn, maybe Nora does. Fuck. -- AHHHHH! I love it too!

Crumpled like a punctured balloon animal, Natasha lets out a hyena laugh, loud enough to draw the attention of the Naval aviators who were lucky enough not to witness the absolutely catastrophic failure of a Dirty Dancing lift. -- PLLSSSSSS THE CHAOS OF THEM I LOVE! This was so fucking funny 😂

Wait, Nora is directly below the disco ball, which was already spinning before. False alarm. She’s not horribly concussed. Everyone can calm down now.-- i live for her internal monologue! 

"We are not fish. We are ladies," Natasha pipes up, sounding indignant. "Some of us are anyway." A bright smile lights up her face as Javy and Bob come into frame. "Coyote! Bob! Did you see our lift?" "I saw it, and I wish I hadn't," Javy says dryly.-- just the dynamics and the banter between them all! it’s one of my favorite things about this series! 

“You’re sparkling.” “You’re bleeding.”-- I was obsessed when you sent me that teaser of this, and I’m still not over this exchange!! I just love how unfiltered she is. And I just know that he made the conscious decision to remain the responsible one that evening! He was definitely watching as she got tipsier and tipsier, and was keeping an eye on her the whole time. Protective!Jake has my heart here!

She wipes at her eyes again, stinging with more tears, now that Nora has remembered the pain.“Oh, I think I'm fine though. I'm tough. I'll get back out there." -- my best drunken girl, I bet Jake was SO SOFT for her here! And he was probably dying from holding back because I know that man would have bundled her up if he could have.  

Only after Jake leaves does Nora comprehend the words. “Be right back, sweetheart.”-- I GOT GOOSEBUMPS WHEN I READ THIS!!! And i got a little emotional too, like its so so sweet. He wants to be with her SO BAD IT HURTS! 

And a silver dress sparkled in the blue darkness, gleaming in a shimmering puddle on the leather back seat of a faded blue Bronco as a shirtless Bradley Bradshaw leaned over the bench seat and popped open the glove compartment for a condom. -- AHHHH AMELIA I NEED THIS I BEG OF YOU TO WRITE THAT ONE SHOT. You want a kidney or a liver? it’s yours!!

"I don't know, okay? Everyone here is a nosey son of a bitch who can't mind their own business," Bradley said. "Even Phoenix has asked me once or twice. Someone probably has money riding on it or something. Not a big deal."-- silly boy, it is a big deal to her!! oh she’s concerned about how Jake is react if he ever learned about it! I love how we get a softer side of her in her tipsy state, she’s got some tender spots that I can’t wait to learn more about. But with her feelings for Jake that she still doesn’t know what to do with, she doesn’t want him to stop liking her, which is why she is so concerned about what everyone is thinking in regards to her and bradley. 

He smiles faintly at the pink socks, the little embroidered heart on the ankles, and Nora swears Jake brushes a gentle thumb across the pattern.-- I CAN’T

Instead, Nora throws away the shovel and starts digging the hole with her hands. -- I LOVED THIS LINE SO MUCH!! Drunk her is greedy for more moments with him. She wants to get REAL with him! OOF 

“Well, I guess I just said I might've met a beautiful and smart and clever as hell woman, who's basically my dream girl." ..."My argumentative dream girl." She swallows against a suddenly dry mouth. "Just that, huh?""Just that." His expression is warm. "She doesn't like me though, right, sweetheart? Not even kind of?" -- ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME??!! “JUST THAT” I AM SPIRALING I AM UNWELL THIS WHOLE EXCHANGE IS MAKING ME SO SOFT I LOVE THEM

She realizes that on his knees like that, Jake could slide over half an inch and be between her parted legs. He could lean right in and...-- THE TENSION MY GOD NORA GO GET YOUR MAN FFS

She could actually cry. She munches on the burning hot fries and drinks the water instead and sobers enough to push down the urge to lean on Jake's broad shoulder. -- ok but I loved this full circle moment because she wanted those fries more than she wanted the greasy cheese pizza. and I love that jake unintentionally got her exactly what she wanted without knowing, and that they shared them together in this little bubble of theirs! BUT I’M YELLING YES MA’AM REST YOUR HEAD ON HIS BROAD SHOULDER YOU’LL FIT THERE PERFECTLY UNDER THE SHIMMERY LIGHTS OF THE ROLLER DISCO

She flexes her knee like a brand new Barbie doll with a proud grin. He watches her with a fond expression that softens every part of his face. -- just me weeping, I love the concept of being fond for another person. 😭

"Now," Jake drawls. "We have enough time for a few more trips around the rink. Want to get back out there?" He holds out a hand, and Nora slips her hand in his. She doesn’t let go in the rink, and Jake doesn’t either. -- HE HASN’T SKATED THIS WHOLE TIME BUT NOW HE WILL WITH HERRRRR AND THEY’RE HOLDING HANDS AND I AM LOSING MY MIND

She can't be trusted around him, not with the alcohol and the adrenaline coursing through her bloodstream, making her feel unbalanced. Instead, Nora digs her own grave. She holds the door open, and Jake comes in with a smirk, smug and knowing.-- !!!!!!!!!!!

He doesn’t kiss her on the lips, not yet, and Nora wonders if Jake wants to make her beg him. She’s never begged for anything in her damn life. She might let him.-- SCREAMINGGGGGGGGGG! THIS IS HOT! But also I just know he’s going to give her everything she wants (she just will have to work for it a littttle bit)

"Come on, sweetheart," Jake murmurs on a low breath that fans right across her exposed core. She whimpers. "We’re just gettin’ started. Be good for me." --AHHHHHDFJAHDOFHAOPFHNAODHFOADHFOADNVA!! He has the dirtiest mouth and I know he is a talker and and and!

It was a dream. She's alone. --- I KNEW IT WAS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE

Nora sighs out an emphatic "Fuck" in the darkness and lets her hand drift under the covers. She comes with a hand over her mouth, a familiar name on her tongue. -- I SIMPLY CANNOTTTTTT MA’AM I AM BEGGING HE IS PUTTY FOR YOU GO GET YOUR MANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

The absolute adrenaline rush this chapter gave me! Like I’m about to go sign up for a marathon or an iron man. The energizer bunny can retire, this chapter is the only fuel I want. It was everything I hoped it would be and MORE! 

baby, i'm high octane (iv)

synopsis: at bradley bradshaw's birthday party, nora has a realization under the disco ball.

pairings: jake seresin x nora rogers (oc)

warnings: 18+, minors dni, explicit language, alcohol consumption, pop culture references, slutty (affectionate) rooster, brief mention of blood, and smut. (wc: 6.8K)

note: at long last, the rollerskating chapter 🪩✨ and icymi, i posted another mood board for this chapter 💖

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tagging // @theharddeck (who talked me off a ledge about this chapter; i snuck a california coast reference in here for you, dear) @frenchyjuju @bioodforbiood @cursedtobe @roosterbruiser @t-nd-rfoot @bethbunnyy @filmflux @djs8891 @mayhemmanaged @sometimesanalice @eli2447 @bradshawsbitch @hangmanbrainrot @startrekfangirl2233 @kandierteveilchen @lostinwonderland314 @hangmanscoming @dempy @mlibbydp

“Mav actually said I’m not supposed to do anything high-risk after I had that bird strike scare so…” 

And with that, Bradley crosses his big arms – dusted with new freckles and sun from his afternoon on the boat with Captain Mitchell and Penny Benjamin – over a barely buttoned shirt; something Nora half-suspects Bradley found from searching Hawaiian shirt comma eighties disco and ordering the first option.

What Bradley ended up with is a black shirt, covered in bright geometrics, squares and squiggles and martini glasses in neon shades of violet, cyan, and pinkish magenta.

As close to a Hawaiian shirt as the Naval aviator could wear and still be on theme and funnily, eerily identical to the carpet at the long-since-closed bowling alley where Mom booked one of Nora’s elementary school birthday parties. 

He could probably lie down and blend right in. 

Minus the martinis, obviously. 

Bradley uncrosses his arms. Crosses them again.

And Nora watches him, absentmindedly, blinking at this indifferent nonchalance that Bradley is putting on. So unbothered. So casual. Real believable. 

“Are you okay, Bradshaw? You’re sweating a little.” 

And as only a mature and newly minted 36-year-old could, Bradley ignores Nora.

Smiling, Nora slurps down the rest of a frozen strawberry lemonade, spiked with vodka. Cheap vodka. She pulls a face at the well of might-as-well-be-rubbing-alcohol at the bottom, rapidly blinking and deep breathing through the sharp sting in her nostrils. 

She will not let some bottom-shelf vodka ruin her eye shadow, not now, not in her favorite dress.

A delicate cough spurts from her mouth. She wouldn't be surprised to see a puff of fumes come out.

“That was like…” Mickey sounds confused.  “Four months ago, Rooster.” 

“And?” 

Bradley uncrosses his arms and spreads them wide, palms upturned – an incredulous gesture as bird-like as his call sign. His winged arms drop back down in a whoosh of wind. 

“I almost crashed into the side of a mountain and had to do an emergency ejection. Medical kept me overnight for observation. It was pretty serious, Garcia.” 

Bradley drags out the vowel and clips the constants in the word pretty for even more emphasis, and in her peripheral, Natasha pinches the bridge of her nose and screws her eyes closed.

Drama drama.

Reuben exchanges a bewildered look with the WSO and shakes his head. Deadpans, “You had one bruise, man. Singular.” 

“Nurse Julie said I had a hematoma,” Bradley retorts, like, so there!

Someone audibly groans. It might be Reuben.

“Fine. You had one bad bruise. Happy?” 

Bradley makes a face – a distinctly, not happy face – and crosses his arms again.

“And when did you graduate from medical school, Doctor Fitch? My invitation must’ve gotten lost in the mail.” 

“I’m dating a nurse! A hematoma is a bad bruise.” 

From Natasha's side of the bench comes a prolonged sigh, a good four-second exhale.

“Moving on…" Natasha continues, "Rollerskating definitely doesn’t fall under what Maverick would consider high risk.” Air quotes are audible in her voice. She waves the roller skate around, abandoned when Bradley put them down. "Children were out there like... 10 minutes ago. Children, Bradshaw!"

A valid point. 

Before Moonlight Rollers made the loudspeaker announcement (“Anyone who isn’t of legal drinking age should turn in their skates and head to the nearest exit in the next 15 minutes. Saturday Night Fever is now in session.”), Nora sat down with her skates and lacing them, counted at least six skaters who were younger than the bourbon Penny Benjamin serves at the Hard Deck.

Children – as Natasha very much emphasized – who cut across the rink with the unselfconscious effort and fearlessness of a child who'd never broken a bone before and honestly, wouldn’t mind a super cool cast for their summer camp friends to sign on Monday.

As if reading her mind, Bradley’s next argument is: “Someone could fall or sprain their ankle or fall and sprain their ankle. How’re you planning to fly with a broken wing, Phoenix?” 

As Natasha studies him, unreadable, Nora decides to wade in.

She can't listen anymore. She's aged five months in the past five minutes.

 “Bradshaw – You’re the one who wanted to do an activity for your birthday party, remember?”

Clearly, Bradley needed the reminder. He was the one who specifically wanted an activity with alcohol and some sort of theme, and Nora found Moonlight Rollers on Instagram.

On Thursday, which was his actual birthday, Nora brought him an Americano (no milk, no sugar, steaming hot) and a breakfast sandwich (a bacon, egg, and cheese on an everything bagel, extra toasted) in the morning and as a present of sorts, secretly asked Technician Ethan to install the camera in his F-18 for the afternoon.

He was ecstatic, so ecstatic that Bradley picked her up and spun her around, like a rag doll in cool shoes, until Captain Mitchell crackled over the radio, sounding equal parts amused and long-suffering.

“Admiral Simpson says – and I quote. Put Miss Rogers down. She's a loan." Captain Mitchell then added, "And from me, I won't protect you or your wings from Charlie Blackwood if Nora somehow falls. Put her down please."

Bradley set her down with a grimace.

Now, Nora continues, “We could’ve done drinks at the Hard Deck again and called it a night. I could be one and a half Old Fashioned's down right now, watching Netflix in my underwear," and Bradley grins, wolfish.

He waggles his brows, impish and obnoxious, and Nora knows what Bradley is picturing right now. Anyone would be able to see it all over his face.

For a 36-year-old man, Bradley can really be a 16-year-old boy sometimes.

She sends him a blank I will kill you in your sleep stare and mimes a slow slash across her own throat, shaking her head from side to side, and Bradley barks out a laugh, apparently not very intimidated.

Should Nora be offended?

He should be like... a little afraid, at least.

Natasha stares him down, and now, Bradley does look a little afraid.

Dark eyes narrowed, sharp against the glittering lavender Natasha lined them with earlier; Natasha is a stunning lavender monochrome, dressed in a ribbed tank and short sweat shorts, even down to the light purple wheels on her skates.

How did Natasha manage that? Nora wonders. She peers down at her own skates and sees only a bright cherry red. Damn. She would've loved a bubblegum pink in this dress.

If Nora has learned anything in the past month, Natasha seems to get her way one way or another. Now is no exception.

Nora smiles. Watch out, Bradshaw!

Natasha rounds her lips to an O shape, smooth voice sweetening into something more saccharine; more patronizing. "Oh... You're scared, aren't you, Rooster? Why didn't you say earlier?"

Are Bradley's ears turning a little red?

"Really? You can pilot a million-dollar plane for a living but can't handle a little..." A polished nail spins one of the wheels. Mocking. "...sneaker with wheels on the bottom?"

And like that, Natasha has him.

Hook, line, and sinker. 

She's barely gotten the words out when Bradley yanks the skates from her outstretched hands with a grumbled, "Fuck off, Phoenix. I'm not scared. I just remembered I don't know how to roller skate. Goddamn," and drops right down on the carpet to strap them on, swearing up a storm under his breath.

Ever optimistic, Mickey calls out, "It'll be fun, man," and Bradley grumbles something unintelligible. 

Natasha doesn't even pretend not to look victorious. She beams.

Nora, on the other hand, is a little more sympathetic. A little. 

He is a big man. Tall and broad with a long distance to fall in a wobble. She'd probably be a little nervous too.

Everyone is drinking. Someone is all but guaranteed to fall on their ass before the end of the night. Who? is the only question that remains.

“I can show you the basics,” Nora offers, watching him fumble with the shoelaces, double and triple knotting them around his ankles. “You can surf, right?" A grumbled sound that Nora will interpret as a yes. "You'll be fine. Balance is the hardest part. We can even hold hands."

She wiggles her fingers in his direction, teasing, gleaming an iridescent pink that matches her dress.

He snorts. “Hot. Promise?” 

Never mind. She's less sympathetic now.

Nora kicks out a leg and lightly catches him in the side of the knee, scuffing the dark blue denim, and Bradley scoots away with a surprised exclamation.

She rolls her eyes.

Maybe if Bradley falls, Nora can get a good shot on her phone.

She'll frame it. A memento for the birthday boy.

"Natasha, do you know when Coyote will be here? I still need to meet him."

Last Nora had heard, Javy 'Coyote' Machado had gotten back from the deployment in the middle of the week. He drove down late last night and crashed on Jake's couch. Got coffee with Captain Mitchell in the morning to discuss when Coyote could move down to North Island. It is still a vague – albeit promising – soon, but Natasha seems to think Coyote will be permanently moved before the beginning of August.

Natasha slides her phone from the front of the fanny pack slung around her waist – silver with prismatic purple, pink, and blue hues, same as the one Nora is wearing over her shoulder like a Miss America sash – and checks her appearance in the front camera.

Holding the phone like a compact, Natasha applies a fresh coat of shiny lip gloss and smushes her lips together to spread it around. Replies, slightly muffled, "He and Hangman got in an Uber like 20 minutes ago. They should be..." A bicycle bell notification chimes from her phone. "Speak of the devils!"

Natasha searches the rink, sipping from a Blue Moon bottle on the bench. Smiles widely.

She points with the sweating bottle, seemingly oblivious to the line of condensation that drips down her forearm and onto the carpet.

"He's right over there, next to Hangman."

Nora looks across the room, dancing over the multi-colored lights and foil streamers, gleaming and rustling in the warm evening breeze that sneaks in through the opening and closing of the main entrance – and lands on Jake.

He leans against the black-and-white checkered Skate Rental counter in a familiar stance, arms crossed lazily over his chest in a way that makes his muscles really shine. He probably does it on purpose.

Don't look at his arms, Rogers.

Coughing once, Nora remembers what Natasha said about Coyote and re-directs her gaze over one. Jesus Christ.

Even from across the room, Javy ‘Coyote’ Machado is… extremely good-looking. Model, good-looking.

“Are all Naval aviators hot?” Nora accidentally asks out loud, already a little buzzed somehow. Damn vodka.

A grumbling stomach makes her wistfully remember the cold pizza in the fridge that she definitely meant to reheat for dinner before Natasha called and said the Uber would be there in less than two minutes. Damn.

She hopes Moonlight Rollers has more options for food than the six options for alcohol at the concession stand. She would kill for a greasy slice of cheese pizza or even better, some crinkle cut fries that'd probably be inexplicably soggy but still taste good.

"Is it like, part of the admission requirement for Top Gun? Like America's Next Top Model, except instead of Tyra Banks, Admiral Simpson is there."

Nora imagines a stone-faced Admiral Simpson – who’d never so much as cracked a smile in her presence before – walking down an aircraft carrier, a collection of files under his stern arm.

Congratulations. You’re still in the running to be America’s Next Top Gun graduate.

Natasha bursts out laughing. "You should've seen my Top Gun class. You wouldn't ask that question."

She is still chuckling when Bob walks over a few minutes later, sipping a blue raspberry slushie from the concession stand with a cerulean tongue.

"Got us a locker," Bob announces, pointing to the wall of lockers in the corner of the room. "Anyone have anything that needs to go in right now? I can put 'em away while I have it open."

Mickey and Reuben dig around in the turquoise pockets of their matching nylon tracksuits – which must have been a buy one, get one deal – and produce loose change, apartment keys, and the like. They hand them over.

When Bob comes over, Nora gently pats her pack and shakes her head. She's got all the essentials in there. She's all set.

Something is different about Bob tonight.

As Bob quietly repeats the locker combination under his breath, a row of concentrated wrinkles on his forehead, Nora stares at him for a probably uncomfortable amount of time.

Pink dusts across his cheeks under her observation, and Bob shuffles his weight around. He looks startled when Nora snaps her fingers in an aha! moment.

“You aren't wearing your glasses, Bob," Nora says, almost accusing. "Have I ever seen you without your glasses?"

“Probably not,” Mickey ribs with a good-natured grin. “He practically sleeps in them.” 

Looking like a Hairspray character, Bob is dressed in a plain white shirt with suspenders. A single curl hangs loose in his face, fighting against the iron hold of what look to be a good amount of hair gel. He blows it out of his wide blue eyes with a sheepish smile.

"Guess not. I need to put in lots of eye drops when I wear contacts – sensitive eyes and everything – so I don’t wear them all that much,” Bob explains, looking much more comfortable now that Nora isn't staring at him quite so intently. A self-conscious sip. "But I'd much rather run to the locker every half hour to put in eye drops than break my glasses and need to get new ones."

It's like Bradley Bradshaw was waiting for that very moment.

On his knees, Bradley butts in, "Did you hear that? Even Floyd is afraid to fall on his ass and break something. Are you gonna make fun of him too, Trace?"

Robbie frowns a little. “I don’t know if I’d say I’m – ”  

“High. Risk. Activity.” 

Nora laughs out, "Go away, Bradshaw," and gently shoves him backwards.

He shouldn't have budged, but Nora must catch him in an uneven moment.

Bradley reels back, arms flailing like a wild goose, catching himself on a spread palm. His expression is comically dark and promises retribution, and Nora puts in a concerted effort not to laugh.

A giggle escapes, and Nora's eyes grow wide.

"Wait, I'm – Bradley!"

"Say your prayers, Rogers!"

For the second time in 72 hours, Bradley grabs her around the middle, and Nora is in the air.

At least Nora decided to wear bike shorts to make the short dress – usually reserved for parties and cocktail bars – more wearable. He'd be a dead man otherwise. He might still be a dead man.

Because Bradley is barely skilled enough to balance his own weight on the skates.

His proud smirk quickly falls as Bradley stands and starts to zig zag on the carpet. His skates go out from under him.

He goes down like a collapsed Jenga stack, and Nora is falling.

Strong arms catch her under the armpits and pull her out of the splash zone of Bradley Bradshaw's flailing arms, and still unbalanced, Nora wobbles and stumbles back against a firm chest with a sharp inhale.

Mint and cologne.

She tips her head back and sees an upside down – and very amused – Jake.

"Hi," Nora says, a little winded. She spies the black Stetson, perched on his head. “You really are such a damn cowboy, aren’t you, Texas? What’re you even supposed to be? Butch Cassidy and the 80's Dance Kid?"

She feels more than sees him chuckle, a low vibration against her back that sends a warm shiver down her spine.

Jake releases her arms, but a careful hand hovers around her lower back until Nora has her sea legs again.

She smooths down the dress down, running her hands over the glimmering pink sequins, and in the background, Reuben and Mickey rescue a dazed Bradley, who is flat on his back on the outer space patterned carpet.

"Howdy," Jake drawls with an ever present smirk. "Good guess, sweetheart, but I'm Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing. Don't you know your Hollywood movies, Hollywood?"

From here, Nora is close enough to smell the spearmint gum in his mouth. She can see the pale blue flash between white teeth. He smells incredible. Damn damn damn.

Casually, Nora does her best not to breathe in.

"Patrick Swayze doesn't wear a cowboy hat in Dirty Dancing." Jake is rocking the black-on-black look. She'll give him that. "Did you watch a porno with the same name?"

Someone laughs, full-bodied and delighted.

“Aren’t you gonna introduce me, Hangman?”

Nora smiles, and Javy Machado smiles back.

"You must be Javy. I'm..."

"You're Nora," Coyote cuts in, smooth and polite as can be, despite the interruption. He shakes her hand with a blinding smile. "Maverick gave me the whole run-down on the documentary when I saw him earlier. If I was any more envious of the bastards who get to be in it, I think I'd be green. Really."

"Well," Nora replies with a cool smile. "I bet I can sneak you in. I could probably delete all of Jake's footage and make it look like an unfortunate accident. How would you feel about pretending your call sign is Hangman?"

Javy guffaws, but Nora looks sidelong at Jake with a smirk.

Jake's chuckle is a pleasant and rasping sound. "You're a little mean today, Hollywood."

"More than usual?"

Jake drawls, "No. You're always a little mean," and makes it sound like a compliment. Warmth slips down her spine, and Nora swallows hard.

"You tired yet? Need to lay down?"

Can you? Nora doesn't need to repeat the question from the kitchen – over a week ago now – for Jake to hear it in her voice. Can you keep up with me?

His smirk deepens. "I'm wide awake, Hollywood."

Javy watches them like a ping-pong match, looking absolutely delighted. "We only just met, Nora, but I think I might be in love with you."

She grins. "Hm. That's too bad."

And as Natasha grabs her arm and pulls her into the roller rink, glimmering in the dark, Nora misses when Jake knocks an elbow back and catches Coyote in the ribs.

A crescent moon rises outside on the pitch black horizon, and inside, Moonlight Rollers glows in the dark.

Everyone is a little more drunk and a little less self-conscious in the silver gleam of the disco ball, spinning and shining like a glittering moon.

And in the rink, Nora is pleasantly surprised to find that the limited rollerskating abilities – emphasis on limited – Teen Nora used over a decade ago now have been dormant somewhere in the back of her mind. Not lost in the endless spiral of time.

Rollerskating is a little like riding a bike in that way.

She wobbles for the first few minutes and sticks close to the sides of the rink, just in case, and then, slowly finds the balance. Finds the rhythm.

Soon enough, Nora is coasting.

Natasha and Bob are her partners in crime for a while. 

She skates alongside them, casting sidelong glances at where Jake and Javy are on the sidelines, catching up and nursing the beers that can't come into the rink with them. Alcohol isn't allowed in.

"Come in," Nora calls on her umpteenth rotation. "Water's nice."

Javy opens his mouth, already grinning, but Jake shouts over the music, "And who would stand here and admire that sparkly little dress of yours then, darlin'? You should wear that on Monday."

Nora gives him the finger, and Jake laughs.

Eventually, Bradley joins the rest of them. He picks it up quickly, just like Nora predicted. He only rams into the side of the rink once and like, barely.

He spins her around the rink until she is breathless with laughter and seeing spots of light behind her closed lids.

"Stop," Nora gasps, "I need a breather."

Citing a need for another fucking drink, Bradley follows her out of the rink and heads for the concession stand, winking at a woman in a Maid of Honor sash.

Nora sits down on the nearest bench, pressing down on the stitch in her side, and soaks in the atmosphere.

According to their Instagram, Moonlight Rollers had been in business since 1986. It looks the part. It'd be a dream of a movie set.

Nora can see it now.

A romance, bathed in the changing lights of the disco ball, pink and purple and blue. Soft.

Exactly the kind of movie Nora wanted to make once upon a time.

Take Me Home Tonight blares over the speakers, and Natasha's laugh rises over the music as Bob launches her across the rink, shimmering like a purple shooting star across the night sky of mismatched walls and lights. 

Nostalgia is a dull ache in her chest.

Growing up, Nora used to strap on an old pair of roller skates from the garage – passed down from Mom, who loved an old school roller rink – and spend hours down near the Santa Monica pier.

So many summer nights were spent in the warm ocean breeze, breathing in the salt air, stretching her arms out to reach for the pinprick stars, as the Pacific Park neon blurred in the distance.

She was never so much great as Nora was unafraid.

Not afraid to, as Mom often said, fail with her whole heart. Take the leap.

Some late night, Nora skinned both elbows and both knees on an uneven sidewalk. Tears still burned in her eyes as Nora slapped on some ointment and a few oversized bandages outside the nearest CVS and got right back out there.

She still had dried blood on her forearms and calves when she got home. Gave Mom a damn good scare.

Sixteen is another world, and Nora isn’t quite as fearless anymore. 

Reminiscing, Nora almost doesn't notice Javy is still at the side of the rink, drinking a nearly empty Blue Moon. She doesn't see Jake anymore.

Javy nods in greeting, and Nora waves.

Everything Nora knows about Lieutenant Javy Machado has come secondhand from the Daggers and Captain Mitchell. He is obviously a skilled pilot. He wouldn't have been recalled to Top Gun in October otherwise.

Natasha knows him from OCS in Newport and flew with him on several deployments. She calls him a good guy.

And Javy is the only person Nora's ever heard Jake outright call a friend. She knows Jake is friends with the Daggers, but Javy is his best friend.

"Did you lose your wingman?" Nora asks when Javy is close enough to hear the question over the music. "Where did Jake run off to and leave you all alone?"

Smiling, Javy shrugs, a movement that's oceanic on someone as broad-shouldered as him.

"He's on the phone."

 She looks over her shoulder and sees the Emergency Exit door is propped open with a brick. She can just make out a sliver of the night and Jake. His expression is soft.

"It's Sarah, I think," Javy answers the question before Nora can ask. "His older sister."

"Jake has a sister?"  

"Two. Sarah and Bethany." 

Nora absorbs that information with an absent-minded nod. "You've met them then?"

He passes the beer bottle from one hand to the other with a nod. "I even spent Christmas with them one year. We were stationed in Fallon – in Nevada, I mean – and I'm from Louisiana. Neither of us had enough leave to go all the way home."

"So Mrs. Seresin and Sarah and Beth..." His voice softens on Bethany's name, and Nora wonders. "... met us in the middle. We spent Christmas at a Holiday Inn in Phoenix, Arizona."

Fondness shines in his whiskey brown eyes, and Nora can't help her own smile in response.

Something nudges in the back of her brain, and Nora pulls on it like a loose thread. She remembers how Jake had stiffened at the nepotism comment in Natasha's kitchen.

Carefully, Nora asks, "Not Mr. Seresin?"

Javy gives her a long, searching look that feels far too appraising for comfort; that feels like Nora is the only one in the room who doesn't get a joke.

After a moment, Javy says, "No." Short. Opaque.

Right then.

"So," Nora starts, but Javy cuts her off with an expectant smile.

“Can I ask you something?" 

"Sure," Nora replies slowly, "but I might not answer."

He seems to get a kick out of that. 

"You know, I get it now. I really do," Javy muses with a low laugh. And before Nora can ask him to explain, the Naval aviator distracts her with, "You and Rooster. You seem... close."

Something about the way Javy says close seems weighted, but Nora is too surprised to give it much attention.

"Oh. Well, Bradley and I knew each other before. His mom, Carole was friends with my Aunt Charlie before..."

Before Carole died.

Before Nora lost a mom too.

"Bradley and I are kind of family friends, I guess. Was that a question?"

He smiles again. Nods again, like Fair enough. 

Javy asks, "Ever been more than friends?" and watches her closely for a reaction.

But Nora had looked up to Charlie Blackwood her whole childhood. A woman who'd never once broken a sweat. She learned from the best.

Cool as ice, Nora asks, "Maybe. Maybe not. Who's asking?" and arches her eyebrows. She'd really like to ask, Who told you?

For his part, Javy looks a little admonished, so Nora softens the expression. She's not uncomfortable. She doesn't want to make him uncomfortable.

He's not as similar to Jake as Nora initially suspected. Jake, who would've grinned wider and pushed more, not stood down until the end.

Maybe Nora kind of likes that about Jake.

She remembers what Jake had said almost a week ago, "You like that I can keep up with you," and goddamn, maybe Nora does. Fuck.

Distracted, Nora only catches the end of what Javy is saying.

"...and Jake is my best friend, so I had to ask."

Confusion wrinkles her brow. "Bradley and I are friends." 

"Just friends?"

"Just friends," Nora repeats, firm. "But Jake and I aren't..."

Evidently satisfied, Javy's smile is back in full force.

"Right. Of course not."

And Javy only sounds slightly knowing.

"I'm gonna grab another drink. You want anything?"

Nora shakes her head. "No, I'll get my own in a few."

He strolls away with one last smile, whistling along to Everybody Wants to Rule the World, and Nora is left alone on the bench, staring into space.

Over her shoulder, Nora sees Jake again.

Pink light shines across the rink now, and Jake laughs on the phone, golden in the rose blush of the disco ball. She can almost hear the depth of sound; can almost feel the vibration behind her ribcage.

Fuck. When did that happen?

Nora faces forward, blowing out a long breath, and heads for the concession stand. She needs five minutes with Bradley Bradshaw – and a goddamn drink. 

Anyone who works in a place like Moonlight Rollers has probably heard their fair share of famous last words.

One final misguided question or daring declaration that precedes a dislocated elbow and a late night drive to the nearest emergency room. 

Like, “Crouch down, I can definitely jump over you.”

Or, "Oh my god. Let's do the lift," when the Dirty Dancing soundtrack comes on after midnight.

“Holy shit, Nora!” 

“Are you alright, Phoenix?” 

Crumpled like a punctured balloon animal, Natasha lets out a hyena laugh, loud enough to draw the attention of the Naval aviators who were lucky enough not to witness the absolutely catastrophic failure of a Dirty Dancing lift.

Did Nora even leave the ground? She can’t remember. 

She is definitely on the ground now. 

Fuck. Everything is spinning a little bit. 

Wait, Nora is directly below the disco ball, which was already spinning before. False alarm. She’s not horribly concussed. Everyone can calm down now.

“Holy damn,” Natasha gasps out, wiping at her eyes. "That must’ve been the worst Dirty Dancing lift in the history of Dirty Dancing lifts. We should be ashamed of ourselves.”

"We absolutely should." Nora winces. "Fuck. I think I broke my sunglasses."

She pulls out the pink sunglasses that were once shaped like hearts and are now little more than shrapnel. Damn. She liked those.

Natasha wiggles on her side like a beached mermaid, wrenching her neck back. “Think I ripped my shorts. Can you see my ass right now?” 

Nora lets out the giggliest giggle that’s ever been giggled.

“No, I can't see your ass."

“Shame. I’m wearing really good underwear, and I wanted at least one hot woman to see them tonight.” 

Nora clutches her stomach, laughing, and Natasha spills back into a high-pitched shriek of laughter. Tears spill down their cheeks.

Mickey pulls away from an intense lip-lock on the sidelines to reach them. He is the first one, sinking down on his knees.

"Are you guys okay?"

Nora drops an arm over her face and gives him a weak thumbs-up from the floor, and Natasha hiccups.

"Here. Take my hand!"

She does, but Nora has a lot of liquid in her stomach right now, sloshing and splashing. She is having a hard time engaging her core.

Mickey pulls, and Nora only slides.

Her dress is probably around her stomach right now. God bless bike shorts.

"Would you...?" Mickey lets out an exasperated sigh that makes Natasha pout.

"Don't get mad, Fanboy!"

"I'm not mad," Mickey insists. He looks around and focuses on a spot Nora can't see. She tries and only succeeds in painfully pulling her hair. "Can you help me out here, guys? They’re so drunk. It’s like deadlifting a fish."

"We are not fish. We are ladies," Natasha pipes up, sounding indignant. "Some of us are anyway." A bright smile lights up her face as Javy and Bob come into frame. "Coyote! Bob! Did you see our lift?"

"I saw it, and I wish I hadn't," Javy says dryly. He has her off the ground and on her feet in a single move, guiding her arm around his shoulder as Bob grabs the other one. "How about some water? Hangman..."

"Go ahead. I'm good."

As the slurred sound of Natasha’s giggles fade under the swelling finale of (I’ve Had) The Time of My Life, Nora briefly closes her eyes. She opens them again, and Jake is standing over her wilting form. 

He glows against in the light from the disco ball, a golden gleam in the silver incandescence. Twinkling.

“Hi Jake,” Nora says softly, poking at a sore spot on her bottom lip with her tongue. She must’ve bitten it in the fall. She doesn’t remember that either.

“Hi Nora.” 

“You’re sparkling.” 

“You’re bleeding.” 

Confused, Nora frowns.

Dull pain radiates from her left knee, and Nora spots a red and angry scrape across the skin, pulsing and throbbing with a forming bruise. She wipes at her eyes again, stinging with more tears, now that Nora has remembered the pain.

“Oh, I think I'm fine though. I'm tough. I'll get back out there."

She doesn't move.

His cheek twitches, but Jake doesn’t let her distract him. He crouches down.

“Come on, Rocky. Let’s get'cha cleaned up, yeah?” 

She sticks out her arms, and amused, Jake peels her from the rink.

She is on the bench again in a flash. Metal is cold against the backs of her thighs, and Nora shivers.

A warm hand brushes across the nape of her neck, and Jake murmurs something in her that Nora doesn’t quite catch. 

Only after Jake leaves does Nora comprehend the words.

“Be right back, sweetheart.” 

Alone, Nora looks around. She feels a little out of focus.

Underneath the neon arcade sign, Natasha is chugging a bottle of water while Bob readies another. She doesn't see Bradley anywhere. He must've snuck off or gone home with that girl.

Nora remembers their conversation and drops her head into her hand, propped on her thighs.

Nora caught the stiff edge of Bradley's sleeve.

“Sorry. Can I speak to you for a second? Alone?”

He was in the middle of a conversation with Maid of Honor sash, who glared suspiciously at Nora as Bradley slid into the booth across from her.

Don't even worry, Nora wanted to reassure. He’s all yours.

“So Coyote asked me an interesting question,” Nora started. She explained the context and repeated the question. "Did you tell anyone?"

“Did I tell anyone what?” 

“You know,” Nora insisted, and Bradley shook his head, scrubbing a hand over his mouth to hide the glimpse of the entertained smile forming there. Jackass. “You know, Bradshaw. Don’t make me spell it out for you.” 

He shrugged. “I really don’t know.” 

“Christ…”

What had Nora done to deserve this? Riddle me that, universe.

She exhaled. "Fine. We were both at Captain Wolfe's party a few years ago." Five to be exact. She held back a groan. "There was a pool game and drinks and shots and..."

And a silver dress sparkled in the blue darkness, gleaming in a shimmering puddle on the leather back seat of a faded blue Bronco as a shirtless Bradley Bradshaw leaned over the bench seat and popped open the glove compartment for a condom.

And and and.

He grinned.

"Oh, I think I remember now. So I shouldn't have told everyone I know about the hot sex in the back of the Bronco? I shouldn't have mentioned that?" And if Bradley expected her to blush, Nora disappointed him with an unimpressed glare and a swift kick in the shins. He yelped. "God, I'm kidding, Rogers. I didn't tell them anything."

She whispered quickly, "Why would Coyote ask me that then?"

"I don't know, okay? Everyone here is a nosey son of a bitch who can't mind their own business," Bradley said. "Even Phoenix has asked me once or twice. Someone probably has money riding on it or something. Not a big deal." He sulked. "Can I go back now?"

After an internal debate, Nora said carefully, "I have one more question. Do…?”

Do you all think something is going on between me and a certain arrogant pilot from Texas?

Her lips parted as Nora hesitated, and impatient, Bradley pulled a pained face. “

“Nora, I was about to get laid."

God. She waved him away. “Fine, sorry. Use protection.”

"Always do," Bradley said with a wink and was gone, leaving Nora alone with the smothered question, still kicking up sparks in the back of her awareness.

She needed that drink to be a double.

Something brushes against her knee, and Nora startles.

“Careful,” Jake cautions, voice low and soothing, like Nora is a spooked horse. “Don’t hurt yourself.” 

She didn’t notice him come back. 

She relaxes. 

“Did you get your skates?” 

He blinks. “My what?” 

“You went to the Skate Rental counter, didn’t you? I saw you.” 

“I went to ask them for their First Aid…” Jake is cradling a small red and white box in his arms. A roll of gauze is around his thumb like a ring. “…and get you some water because your knee is bleeding, Hollywood."

He says it like Nora might’ve forgotten. She frowns.

She didn’t forget.

She would've remembered.

She carefully sips the water as Jake opens the kit and pulls out some bandages and ointment. He opens a packet of alcohol wipes with his teeth and nods at Nora’s leg. 

“Can I?” 

Nora nods, and Jake sinks down on his knees. 

She is surprised when Jake doesn’t start with her knee, instead carefully unknotting the laces and pulling the skates from her feet, setting them down on the carpet.

He smiles faintly at the pink socks, the little embroidered heart on the ankles, and Nora swears Jake brushes a gentle thumb across the pattern.

He applies the alcohol, and Nora lets out a sharp hiss at the sting, the burn.

He doesn’t prolong the sensation. He moves with such quick and efficient purpose that she wonders if one of Jake's sisters is a nurse or doctor.

She wants to ask him. 

What comes out instead is, "What did you tell Coyote about me?” 

For a brief moment, Jake pauses, then carefully sets the bandage in place, crumpling the plastic wrapper in a clenched fist.

His voice is hard to read. “Why’re you asking?” 

She should say something like, “Sorry, I’m really drunk, and I didn’t mean to ask you that. Let’s pretend I never said anything. This never happened,” and Jake would say something like, “Can do, Hollywood.” 

That would be that. 

Instead, Nora throws away the shovel and starts digging the hole with her hands. 

“Something Coyote said. What did you tell him?” 

“Well, I guess I just said I might've met a beautiful and smart and clever as hell woman, who's basically my dream girl." Jake looks at Nora, all dimples and gleaming green, stroking across the edge of the bandage with a soft touch. "My argumentative dream girl."

She swallows against a suddenly dry mouth. "Just that, huh?"

"Just that." His expression is warm. "She doesn't like me though, right, sweetheart? Not even kind of?"

She realizes that on his knees like that, Jake could slide over half an inch and be between her parted legs. He could lean right in and...

“Right," Nora echoes. "Not even kind of."

A grin brims on his lips.

She lets the moment fade, and blessedly, Jake does too. 

Jake pats her on the knee and rises. He gathers the wrappers and runs the First Aid kit back to the Skate Rental counter, coming back with another water and fries.

She could actually cry. She munches on the burning hot fries and drinks the water instead and sobers enough to push down the urge to lean on Jake's broad shoulder.

She puts on her skates again as Jake tosses the rest of the fries and dusts off his hands. She flexes her knee like a brand new Barbie doll with a proud grin. He watches her with a fond expression that softens every part of his face.

“Will I live, Texas?” 

“Think so, Hollywood.” 

Jake sweeps his fingers through his hair, picking up the cowboy hat from the bench and setting it back on his head.

"Now," Jake drawls. "We have enough time for a few more trips around the rink. Want to get back out there?"

He holds out a hand, and Nora slips her hand in his.

She doesn’t let go in the rink, and Jake doesn’t either.

When Jake walks her to the door and lingers, looking at her with those eyes, Nora should probably close the door in his face. She should close the door and go to bed alone and tell him to do the same. 

She can't be trusted around him, not with the alcohol and the adrenaline coursing through her bloodstream, making her feel unbalanced.

Instead, Nora digs her own grave.

She holds the door open, and Jake comes in with a smirk, smug and knowing.  

Everything is a blur from there. A supercut of soft touches and gasping breaths and the sound of his name as Jake presses her against every damn surface in the damn apartment.

Every kiss is devouring, sucked into the column of her neck, pressed against her bare shoulder, open-mouthed and possessive.

He doesn’t kiss her on the lips, not yet, and Nora wonders if Jake wants to make her beg him. 

She’s never begged for anything in her damn life. 

She might let him.

She is pliable under him, and Jake is more than willing to use that to his advantage, maneuvering them onto the mattress.

She is still dressed, and on her back, Nora can hardly breathe as Jake reaches under the dress and pulls her underwear down.

"You're so beautiful..."

He licks a long stripe over her core, tongue flat and broad. 

She can’t think. She can hardly breathe. 

She’s right on the edge, aching, when Jake pulls back.

He looks up. Mouth slick with her, grinning like a devil. 

"Come on, sweetheart," Jake murmurs on a low breath that fans right across her exposed core. She whimpers. "We’re just gettin’ started. Be good for me."

She shakes awake, drenched in sweat, with a familiar ache between her legs.

It was a dream. She's alone.

Her dress sparkles from the corner of the room, where a drunken Nora had left it a few hours earlier and crawled into bed in an old NYU shirt that feels too warm now.

She peels it from her skin and gulps down the whole water glass on her nightstand.

Neither is enough to soothe the heat that burns under her skin.

Nora sighs out an emphatic "Fuck" in the darkness and lets her hand drift under the covers. She comes with a hand over her mouth, a familiar name on her tongue.

note: i will add a real note when i don't have a blue light headache, but... past nora and bradley, confirmed? current nora and jake, still a question mark? what do we think?

should i spring the nora and bradley one shot from the vault next?

want to be tagged in future chapters? fill out this form!

[ridiculously-over-obsessed]

Hey! Im kind of new to the fandom, could you possibly recommend any bechloe completed fanfics? thankyou!

Hello lovely!! Welcome to the fandom, if you're looking for a super gay time you're definitely in the right fandom 🤣🤣

I can certainly rec a few for you that are completed, there are some INSANELY talented writers in this fandom, honestly I'm forever in awe of and humbled by the talent around me 🥺 but I will say don't limit yourself to completed fics!! Yes, it is disheartening to read fics that haven't been updated in eons, but as a writer with lots of wips on the go, and knowing writers with lots of wips on the go, I know that there is very little that is as encouraging as someone reading a fic that you haven't finished yet and telling you what they think of the journey so far, it's amazing 😍🥺💖

ANYWAY, here are a few fics that I absolutely adore and are completed, I hope you enjoy them as much as I did!!!

The Monster Within by aca_bechloe47

To the outside world, Beca Mitchell was a loving big sister and the personal assistant to the CEO of Nightline Clubs Inc. Luke Matthews. But behind the scenes, the truth was far more sinister. In the dark of the night, Beca took on the alias of Titanium, the assassin. Soon the security of her secret begins to fall apart and the truth threatens to rear it's ugly head. Will Beca be able to protect her sister and her friends? Will the truth of what happened to her parents cause Beca's world to fall apart even further? Will the officers Beale and Posen have the bust of their careers, or will they find themselves in danger of The Assassins Guild of Atlanta?

(I literally recommend this fic to EVERYONE skljgdlfg it's my favourite bechloe fic of all time, I re-read it all the time, I forgot what their tumblr url is which is TRAGIC but yes, read this!!)

Home Is A Person by @massivedrickhead

Beca has been in the foster care system since she was a baby, and she’s never had anywhere she could call home.

She arrives at the Beale’s home just hoping for a safe place to stay until she turns 18.

For Chloe’s part, she had never gotten behind her parents’ need to foster kids. And despite outward appearances, she hadn’t felt at home here since she was a kid.

(Hands down one of the best bechloe fics in existence I cannot with this fic it owns my heartttt 🥺 also just read anything and everything that massivedrickhead puts out, seriously it's all incredible)

pieces by @suituuup

Five years ago, Chloe dropped off the face of the Earth. Beca didn't expect to see her again dancing in a strip club, out of all places.

(HOLY FUCK I swear to god I still think about this fic weekly, it's so fucking good and the EMOTIONS and the ROLLERCOASTER omgggggg 😩😍 again, read anything and everything by suituuup because she's not only a lovely person but an incredible writer too)

barriers by swanqueenfic13

So this is a little fic I've been working on in which Beca meets Chloe at an LA Pride parade, but fate keeps bringing them back together. In the face of a tragedy, Beca has to learn to let down her walls and rely on others. (IDK I'm bad at summaries just give it a chance)

(Oh the feels in this fic, god we love to see them being a safe place for the other it makes me so freaking soft man 🥺🥺🥺 be wary of the content warnings for this one though!!!)

Sing To Me Instead by @pocketdragon

A series of Bechloe one shots and short-form stories inspired by the tracklist from Ben Platt's 'Sing to me Instead' album.

(Okay yes, this is a serious of fics but hear me out kldjklfdjgdf they are all AMAZING, the variety of emotions I go through reading this series I cannot deal, and honestly if you haven't listened to either of Ben Platt's albums go do it, I promise you will not regret it kldfjglkdf)

Paint Your Colours Over Mine by @snowydot

Chloe is used to the colors, and she knows they will never leave. It hadn’t occurred to her that, for Beca, they weren’t really there.

(No okay, you want softness??? Go read this, it makes me very emotional and I melt every goddamn time, Ginny is not only the sweetest person but such a talented writer, you really should read this fic)

i get a feeling, looking you in the eye by @chloebeale

The USO tour came at the right time for Beca, right after quitting her job and needing a distraction. But what about a distraction from her best friend? Who just happens to be sitting by the pool in the middle of the night when Beca is struggling to sleep...

(my beloved E rated Ellie has MANY fics you should read, hell just read them all, seriously I'm so lucky to be her best friend, I am a better person and writer just from being around her. I could have picked so many of her fics to recommend to you, but I picked this one because (a) it's so freaking good, and (b) it is the birthplace of Beca Pigchill and I will adore it forever for that kdfjglkdfjd)

Happy reading anon!!! 😍🥰💖