#that sounds like a good time and tbh might make me miss her less

[wizardsvslesbians]

Isaac here, with another recommendation response masterpost! It's a long one!

Anon said:

oh my godyou guys HAVE to cover metal from heaven by august clarke as the next thing to add to the list i just saw the reviews and it literally looks like main wizlez for the first time in quite a while

We actually have had an ARC of this one for some time, and we were intending to cover it! And I bounced off it real hard. So that's on me. Once it comes out properly and there's an audiobook I'll take another crack at it.

Seiya said:

“A Sweet Sting of Salt” by Rose Sutherland is for all the girlies who read Charity and Sylvia and wanted more of that. or, 19th century Nova Scotia selkie lesbians. the wizard is less a wizard and more a condemnation of the selkie folktale in general, but also the vibes are nice and this was a nice book

We're going to need a vibes are nice book - the vibes have been either rancid or very complicated for too long and I'm missing the simple days of boat lesbians and The Duke. Also it would be nice to follow up "Selkie Stories Are For Losers" from our last short story roundup.

Spiralochete said:

Not wizlez, but if you're ever in the mood, I would love to hear you guys discuss Borne by Jeff Vandermeer. It features a non-narcissistic parent of an extremely monstrous child, and I think it would produce interesting discussions in conversation with some of the previous entries in the podcast. I also think that the ecological themes would be an interesting change of pace. There are no prominent lesbians, but there are definitely wizards. If either of you have bounced off Jeff Vandermeer previously (I know that some people do), it's definitely a bit more accessible than the Southern Reach Trilogy.

I liked Annihilation! Then Authority bored me enough that I never bothered to finish it, so I'm, like, medium interested in this as a concept. Sounds like a guest episode, and so we'd need a guest who wants to cover it.

Anon said:

i think i might have just watched the first actual bona fide wizards vs lesbians film i've ever seen other than adolescence of utena, and i'm shocked i never heard of it before: harmony (2015), but for the podcast you guys might be more interested in the novel of the same name it's based on by project itoh (who i believe is also famous for having a kojima game dedicated to him posthumously). the novel is less explicit in the romance between protagonists (antagonists?) tuan and miach, which might be a point towards reviewing the film rather than the book, but it's up to you guys! really, really interesting stuff from this film, despite its flaws. it's good scifi

Any skepticism I might have had about this went out the window when I saw that Michael Arias co-directed the film. He directed Tekkonkinkreet, which is one of my five favorite movies of all time, one of the only pieces of media that makes me cry no matter how many times I go back to it, so I, at least, will be giving this a shot. Can't guarantee any more than that.

Anon said:

i know you only rarely cover graphic literature but tbh the more i think on it the manga land of the lustrous not only counts as (enby) yuri but also absolutely fits in the lesbian space atrocities/wizlez genre, the tragedy and war and double crossing and mental illness stuff with the initial motivation for everything being a gay crush that ruins everything.

I'm gonna be real with you: I had such a viscerally negative reaction to the anime when it came out that it would take a lot for me to dive into the manga. Toooo many lovingly rendered amputations.

Anon said:

have you guys ever read stuff by qing jun mo xiao? her baihe serials all are very much in wizlez mode as far as i can tell - clear and muddy loss of love has a full english translation available online, i dunno about female general and eldest princess but it's getting english volume releases!

There is an english translation online, but it's definitely fanwork, and with all respect to the person who made it it's probably best if we wait for an official release. When that does happen, I'm all for it.

Short recs:

the passion by jeanette winterson is a vintage wizvwlw novel i found recently which is magical realist napoleonic wars in venice - it might be of interest to you guys

On the list it goes!

the women could fly by megan giddings def looks like wizles, maybe it's worth checking out since it looks pretty interesting

On the list it goes!

i've not read it, but the light brigade by kameron hurley looks like interesting wizlez to me if you wanna check it out

I suspect we haven't done any Kameron Hurley books yet for a reason, but on the list it goes!

And finally, presented without comment:

Look I'm aware that due to the time commitment which is on par with reading Homestuck and the audio format it's basically impossible to cover all of it. But fellow wizards vs lesbians listeners should know that the magnus archives probably counts as wizards vs lesbians. There are a million wizards, women fall in love, and lesbians definitely attack the wizards. plus there's an assortment of bad mothers and monstrous children. It somehow has a coherent plot and themes by the end as well, if you can stick with the motw format long enough. However it's mostly wizard pov

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

I just got to reading a translation of "The wooing of Emer" online. Why is no-one (especially the online encyclopedias) talking about the fact Emer is fomorian?

why aren't the online encyclopaedias talking about it: bc they are not that useful for medieval irish literature most of the time, tbh, being heavily simplified and reliant on secondary sources that are often themselves not particularly reliable (although there have been efforts to improve some pages inc. wikipedia pages). loads of fun details missing from them, always

why isn't anyone else talking about it: eh. probably two main reasons

there's a lot of it around. cú chulainn's got a fomorian grandma (on lug's side) and no one ever really talks about that either. it's not that big a deal. i'm sure he's not the only one; can't throw a rock around here without hitting someone with a fomorian uncle or something. there's a lot more overlap / interaction between them and the tuatha dé danann than a simple oppositional binary would suggest, and family trees get fucky in general. being related to the fomoire doesn't automatically = being fomorian yourself bc belonging and kin-groups and stuff are a bit more complicated than that

i'm pretty sure it's only mentioned in tochmarc emire and only in passing and not directly in relation to emer herself, so it's easily overlooked even if you're dealing with that text and a lot of people will be dealing with other texts. it's also only in the later, longer redaction of the text and not in the earliest one, although so are a lot of things. if the authors thought it was important as part of her heritage -- whether they saw it as a good or a bad thing -- they would bring it up more often, but TE seems to be the only one that bothers to give background information about forgall's family tree, so mostly it looks like they think it's not that relevant. (although as it is not a particular focus of mine, it's entirely possible it comes up somewhere else and i just haven't noticed)

e.g. you might expect it to come up in fled bricrenn but it doesn't

sidenote: why the fuck henderson translations "ben ind fir as dech" as "wife of the best wight" i have no idea. it's just "fer"! it's just man! why are you trying to make cú chulainn sound even weirder than usual! it's a mystery to me. other than the fact it's from 1899 and people did whatever they wanted at that point tbh

(the parenthetical explaining the meaning of "Manach" is also editorial and not in the Irish; the meaning "tricky" may be more suitable bc it might have something to do with clessa, but that's getting into my friend emmet's in-progress research so i won't delve deeper there)

also, tethra, who is supposedly forgall's uncle in TE and who is described in the text as a "king of the fomoire" is a bit of a weird one iirc and there's potentially more going on with him than that phrasing suggests, although i can't remember the details and that's getting into cath maige tuired territory, at which point you're better off asking @margridarnauds bc it's not a topic i know a huge amount about

finally i'll be honest another factor is probably that there hasn't been a huge amount written about emer as a character. there's been a lot written about texts that she's in and her function there, but less on her just like, as a person (bc medieval celtic studies is a very small field, there are a lot of texts and characters, and there hasn't been that much written about anyone really). so lots of things don't get talked about. doesn't mean they're not worth talking about. just means nobody's got around to it yet.

[vivievienne]

The sentiments — Chapter 3

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: In which headquarter manager gets an unexpected call.

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: one of the best chapters i made tbh. inspired by a scene in mha

𝐓𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: might be ooc and that's a all ig

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 873

𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭

Telephones aren't anything new to Shiho.

It was her work to answer them and to take care of the information she got.

But this one was clearly unexpected...

"Hello, it's Tokio Pizza here", she heard a masculine voice in the phone.

"Is this a joke or something?", Shiho said bluntly. Though, the weird telephone makes her worried. How the hell they knew the number of the headquarter's phone? What if The Government knew about their location and they are in danger? She can't talk too long. She must let Ena know, so she will encrypt the sygnale from the headquarter. "I didn't order anything", she said calmly. She can't let her emotions win over. If they will, everything here will be ruined. She took the phone and walked to the Ena's place with a quick tempo.

"But I have written that you, miss, ordered one. Large pizza without vegetables. Quite a weird order if you ask me, but I only have to deliver that, yeah?", the man said with a chuckle.

But wait... Without vegetables? Weird order?

Shiho stopped in the middle of her way.

Is this Rui...?!

She saw that he was going out today after the captains went for the missions, but she thought he was just gonna take a walk or something...

This could explain why he ordered that the action must take place today...

He has to know how much risks it takes to call the headquarter.

That's why he is playing a pizza man...

Jeez, now it makes sense.

"Oh, yeah...", she decided to play along. "I forgot about that. It was quite a long time since I ordered. I'm really hungry."

"Oh, about that...", Rui started. She finally understood. He was quite proud of her. Not all people would understand this allusion, especially since he used the voice changer for this talk. "It's a traffic there, so I don't think I could make it in time, you know? So if you are not alone, miss, please, let your friends know that you will probably get a cold pizza."

"Oh, right", she said. So that's what it was about? He can't go back... But what happened...? No, don't think about that, it's not your role. "Though, when it will be delivered?"

"Hm... As I look at this traffic... Maybe a day?"

"Oh... Quite long... I hope that I'll get a refund at least", she said trying to keep her act.

Rui only laughed.

"Of course, you will, miss. But for now, have a nice evening."

"You too. Bye."

"Bye!", Rui pulled the phone on its place and went out from the telephone booth.

The City looked differently than he remembered it before he left. It was more... futuristic, if you ask him. As a quite sentimental person, he would say that he misses the old version of it, when he was a high schooler with big dreams of becoming a director. However, life not always writes us the scenarios we would like to play and we sometimes must accept that we have to be flexible when it comes to our fate meeting our expectations and dreams. Fortune is a wheel, isn't it?

Maybe out of sentiment he stays here, even though he's the most wanted man there and he would probably spend rest of his life in the prison, if he was caught, but he couldn't care less. He wanted to feel this atmosphere once again, even though it's not the same as it used to be. Exploring enemies territory was just a side effect and a good alibi to don't make Nene worried.

Overall, it's not that bad here... But if Rui thinks that most of people don't know what happens behind these walls, it terrifies him.

Tsukasa made something to separate people here from the reality.

He plays his greatest show with each day here.

Rui thinks that he got the stardom, he aimed for.

The greatest show.

He snorted.

It sounds almost unrealistic, however, it's happening here.

And everyone are actors and audience at the same time.

He's curious about one thing, though.

Does Tsukasa also know he's a slave to his own show?

***

"Akiyama! I got something for you", Shiho walked to her immediately after the call.

"What's up, Shii?", they smiled at her.

"Ugh, don't call me that!", she rolled her eyes. "Come with me. You must hear this."

As Mizuki followed Shiho, they eventually arrived at her desk. She opened the calls history folder on her computer and played it. All calls in headquarter are recorded to make sure that in these cases like this one, there is a clue.

"Who was that?", they asked after they heard the whole record.

"I think that this might be Rui, but I'm not sure..."

"But he's in his office, how could he?"

"You don't know?", Shiho was surprised. "He left a little later after the captains went for a mission."

Mizuki was slightly shocked...

Is he suicidal or something?

They sigh.

"Okay... Give it to Ena, so she will make sure that it was him, if he used a voice changer, and we will see... That's all, see ya later!", they said cheerfully. Though, they were really worried. She must go to Nene. Immediately.

taglist: @chocowhimsy-wonderhoyy, @wishing-on-a-snowflake, @tsukasa-memes, @minakolada

[swords-of-a-soilder]

Bless you for compiling what’s going on with that ex-bird app. It’s been genuinely insightful for me to understand the thoughts of the kinds of people behind those accounts.

That person trying to cancel creators for associating with Forever (and probably advocating for his lore to be excised from the server) saying “but I can’t possibly give up guapoduo, it’s My Hyperfixation” is very telling. Hypocrisy specifically in the context of “separating the art from the artist” isn’t something I’ve seen before, shockingly, so I guess I get to add that to my Social Media Discourse Bingo. (I had an online friend in 2016 who I was terrified to talk about my interests with because I didn’t know what angry punk teenagers on tumblr had deemed “evil and disgusting”, and even SHE stopped listening to some of her favorite metal bands when she learned they were homophobic, and had absolute turmoil when she learned that David Bowie might have allegedly slept with an underage groupie in the 70s. Her constant, unpredictable rage at seemingly random pieces of media was awful for my mental health, but at least she wasn’t a genuine hypocrite.)

Also that tone of “I’ve had good memories here… but I just can’t handle it anymore.” It sounds like someone whose meaningful but soul-crushing work has finally broken them, almost sounding like someone I knew at the frontline worker job I had mid-pandemic who missed her own birthday three years in a row, got repetitive stress injuries, and then got passed over for a promotion that was given to someone who did a fraction of the work. But the “God willing, I’ll never come back” was followed by “I’m 13” …damn, I got whiplash so hard that I astral projected into a universe where things made sense for a second. Because of course kids don’t have a complex view of other countries’ political systems or cultural pressures. Or the nuances of personal change and redemption. Or that sometimes people are just not online for a few days. And of course a 13-year-old doesn’t understand how dumb and petty they look by trying to ruin other peoples’ careers in the name of Activism (tm) while having a fandom portmanteau username.

“I didn’t want it to come to this but… I’m going to delete twitter!” I hope so, but more for their own sake, honestly. I actually have less anger towards most of them now. Many are kids with a false sense of grandiosity that makes them believe they are the ultimate moral authority, but have very little understanding of how messy people or societies can be. I just hope they can learn one day, and look back on who they are now and cringe. (And then many years after that, have the grace to forgive themselves.)

Oof, sorry for the wall of text.

I’m still not over the whole situation with Forever. I miss his energy, and his accent, and his silly bits with Richas that always dragged on too long, and N.I.N.H.O. (and everything it represented), and how different he and Cellbit are but how they understood each other WAY too well, and how he tried to make people who didn’t log onto the server as often still feel welcome and wanted, and how happy he got when anyone non-Brazilian even tried to speak a little bit of Portuguese. (I was learning, but I’ve barely touched it since.) I won’t lie, it’s affected me far more than I thought it would.

I miss Forever. Thank you for your blog being a little space where that’s okay.

I'm honestly a little worried for the kid (s), not in a "oh I just want the best for" fake bs way just a little concerned tbh. I still don't like them but I don't hate them either, they're a kid.

But at the same time I'm worried for their well being, they have like 5,000 follower on their main Twitter and 28 on curious cat (which is apprantly high for that app )

That's 5000 people (teens or not) waiting for you to tell them how to feel that can't be good for their mental state, not for a 13 yr old kid.

Most of their life was spent learning about the world and their still learning, these are the ages where you're worried about the sun blowing up.

You haven't seen how awful the world can be yet, You haven't seen how much worst it could get you haven't learned calculus yet!

To you the world is only these 13 years and you think if you don't act now everything will be over.

I get it, I had that fear too, most people grown into it and realize just how shitty it can get an settle in choosing their own battles and not letting It consume them, because no one had time for that anymore.

You want to experience the most out of live while you can and the older you get the easier it is to balance.

To me it looks like one of those situation where you'll look back and think "I wish I enojyed my childhood."

Because 5000 people waiting for you to tell them who to bash, 28 people prasing your while admitting they use to hate you.

It can't be good. And if they were to read this they'd probably say "oh you don't actually care you just want to shit on me."

And like, yeah I don't care, but am I saying all this because I want to shit on them? no I'm just pointing out concerns.

Apart from that I fully agree with anon.

[candyskiez]

Favorite The Owl House episode?

tbh, haven't rewatched the show in a long long time so might need to rewatch to be sure. for a while, it was eda's requiem. it means a lot to me and genuinely made me realize shit about myself. as dumb as it sounds it's what made me realize "...oh. if I died, that'd...probably fuck up the people around me." so it has a massively special place in my heart. and also the depth it gives eda! made me reevaluate shit about how I view parents and also just. god. the importance of found family and how important it is to acknowledge that it's just as important as blood family. found family is so often treated as secondary and seeing it portrayed as just as important is so fucking good and god! middle aged characters with depth! middle aged WOMEN with depth! some of the most accurate depression rep I've seen. she feels so real and raw and god, it's really nice to see a middle aged character who gave up learning to get back up again and stop feeling like they missed the best of their life and wasted it, and aaorudhdjd. god. I love eda. the music is beautiful and the duet is haunting, raeda fascinates me, and bard magic will ALWAYS be my favorite magic in toh.

I feel like the grey decaying thing works excellently as a metaphor for depression. it's what made me start going "is this a metaphor for mental illness?" because it FEELS like it. the voice acting is top tier and its so fucking good. it's just,,, man. a middle aged woman having an episode all to herself?? baby mes mind would've been BLOWN. her hatred of the curse wouldn't have hit nearly as hard without this episode, I think. the loneliness and feeling like it makes her Less is shown so well in this episode. it's just,,, man. as someone who's struggled with depression all my life, it resonates. she doesn't even CONSIDER king would still love her. raine saved her fucking life there and I'm still fucked up about it. it handles depression very well and its just. Man. that duet is one of the most memorable scenes in the show. darius abomination form is badass, raine's powers are so cool, the bats have my ENTIRE heart, the fucking MUSIC. brads music bangs. I love his soundtracks and this episode is just. always iconic to me.

that being said, I'm not entirely sure if it's my favorite episode right now? my brain flip flops on these things. right now I think it might be eclipse lake because it's just. SUCH a good episode. it's so gorgeous. the fight choreography, the animation, the lore, but most of all the EMOTION.

it has such excellent abuse rep. showing not only the complicated emotional reality of living with your abuser, of being dependent on your abuser, but also the fact that having an abusive relationship influences how you view ALL relationships. I love that amitys trauma isn't sidelined! what originally comes off as amity being a little TOO excited about having a girlfriend and also dana flipping off disney is shown to be amity being fucking terrified of losing this. she's so desperate to prove herself and since they're foils we gain knowledge as to what odalia and amitys relationship might've been like through hunter and gain insight into how hunter might view other relationships going forward through amity and it's LOVELY.

it also drives me insane that people use this episode as proof amity would hate hunter when. nah. nah, absolutely not. also I love how it shows how fucking KIND amity actually is. this boy's threatened and backstabbed her multiple times and is showing he's willing to do ANYTHING to win, and she still feels so much fucking sympathy for him. because she gets it. he's like her. she would've done this in his shoes. she offers him kindness and shows no sign of holding a grudge??? NONE???? this woman is fucking forgiving. she would have every right to hate his guts and she doesn't. idk what y'all mean when you say she's a jerk shes fucking KIND.

also hunters breakdown is painful to watch. I don't know what I can say about it that hasn't already been said. it's so raw and resonant, it feels like watching a real kid, it has such a realistic depiction of abused kids, what else can I say?

I also love the addressing of the cycle of abuse. hunter isn't a pure innocent baby here. he's manipulative and mean and cutthroat. hes a dick! I love him having anger issues because that's how abused kids often are! and I love amity backsliding! I love amity going tunnel vision! I love how realistic and painful the whole episode is!

they're just kids, man. you can tell the crew wanted this to be realistic and they succeeded.

I don't know which I like more. they're both just so GOOD.

(ask me things!)

[byebyeballoon]

Kdramas I have watched in recent months on my own without Alexis (bc she’s still recovering from her stroke):

Dr Slump (Enjoyed it. Really sweet RomCom that talked about mental health in a good way imo. Netflix)

Parasyte: the Grey (loved it. Netflix. Paranormal/horror show where aliens overtook human bodies.)

Strong Girl on Netflix. (Skip it. The original on Viki was way more entertaining, less cringe worthy, and not even comparable tbh).

Lovely Runner (was not a fan for multiple reasons. I went in further detail on my profile if you're that curious. This show was on Viki. Romantic comedy with a crime aspect and time travel. There are far better time travel shows like Twinkling Watermelon that doesn’t have as many ableist tropes).

DNA Lover (not thrilled. It was meant to be a comedy, but there were so many cringe worthy moments on this RomCom. The second lead treated her way better than the main lead as well).

Miss Night and Day (loved it. Netflix. Comedy with a paranormal twist. Female lead turns old in the day, young at night).

My Sweet Mobster (loved it. Viki. Comedy with crime aspect bc of the whole gang/mobster theme).

Sweet Home season 2 & 3 (Loved it. If you liked the first season I think you’ll also enjoy these last two. Netflix. Monster horror).

The Spies who Loved Me (Enjoyed it. Prime. A comedy. The name says it all! Two spies love the same woman. I just have one episode left but have enjoyed it, even if the main lead was not hot. Feat. Alexis’ special boy from Bride of Habaek [he’s still her icon on her profile @terminalsecondleadsyndrome ] who I’ve enjoyed watching bc he’s way prettier.)

Serendipity’s Love (available on Viki. Stereotypical, but had cute moments. Not bad if you want a straight up romcom. But there are definitely better ones out there. Feat the female lead from Let’s Fight Ghost, Love Alarm, Tale of Nokdu and many more. She’s been a busy actress! Get that coin.)

Gyeongseong Creature (Monster Netflix show. First season is set in Japanese occupied Korea, and dealt with human experiments, which not everyone will be comfortable with. So trigger warning for parallels with reality. If you liked Sweet Home though, you might be interested in this one too. Just starting season two.)

Joseon Attorney (Viki, historical. Definitely didn't mind, had funny and sweet moments while also being interesting.)

Just started Love Next Door on Netflix after the election results bc I needed a mindless romcom. Only three episodes in so far, but its been okay.

I’m glad I ended up enjoying most of them! It’s been a good run for now. I hadn't watched as much for a bit because of class, but it sounds like Alexis and I will be back to our shenanigans soon. A few of these will likely make it on the watch list (esp Joseon Attorney bc she loves both the guys in that one). What were your thoughts on these shows? Any you liked but didn't see listed?

[atlaswav]

Regarding that music reblog can u drop some music recommendations 🙏🙏🙏

ABSOLUTELY I LOVE THIS QUESTION the day has finally come when someone has asked me for music recs 🤞🤞 (i didn't know what to start with so ur gonna get a bunch of random artists i like)

also if anyone wants to ask for recs for anything at all (like books, fics, writers, etc.) pls ask!! i love sharing 🥳

beabadoobee — i love love love her new album this is how tomorrow goes, its 10/10 and every time she makes rock music adjacent she never fails to eat down and devour. my recs for her are beaches, take a bite, cologne, talk and ripples because they all have a sort of nostalgic vibe. like they're somehow so familiar even though you've never heard them before. i love beabadoobee she's so good at what she does.

hozier — okay i know he's lowkey middle aged woman core but his lyricism AND production are literally unmatched i get why the lesbians love him. I'd recommend dinner and diatribes, jackie and wilson, northern attitude (by noah kahan ft hozier), angel of small death and the codeine scene and movement 🙏 his music makes me absolutely ascend to a different plane of existence.

laufey — call me a basic asian all you want but laufey synthesises older jazz/classical sound with modern lyricism and structure and creates something so beautiful i love her so much and i regret missing out on her concert tickets every day. i love love love night light, must be love, let you break my heart again, dreamer and lovesick, all her instrumentals never miss. her songwriting is also top notch and gives young, dumb and in love energy ykwim 😍

taylor swift — HEAR ME OUT her new album specifically the anthology half of ttpd has like no skips and i will die on this hill. her older music is good too but i am here to talk about the anthology. the anthology has 10/10 songwriting and minimal production which makes the lyrics stand out more and i love it. i'd recommend the black dog, the prophecy, how did it end and peter because they make me want to scream and cry tbh. also good inspo for fic writing LOL

billie eilish — i have been a fan of hers since my emo phase in 2018 and i can confirm that finneas' production is genius. honestly i recommend the entirety of hit me hard and soft because it was meant to be listened to continuously with all the melodic motifs and lyrical motifs but yeah. also no time to die was a cultural shift that changed my brains hardwiring.

chase atlantic — okay wild 360 from billie eilish and soft ballads (and this artist has lowkey been ruined for me by a certain someone..) but they do have bangers 🎉 i love heaven and back, right here, die for me and dancer in the dark, their music is really sexual though so uh parental guidance 🤞

the neighbourhood — i love love love the vibe of their discography and even though their music might be counted as "tiktok" music because of some of their popular songs they're still so good. I recommend reflections, compass, devil's advocate and stargazing. introspective kinda vibes with their music yk.

the arctic monkeys — I LOVE THEM AND i regret not going to their tour every single hour. alex turner might be a grandpa but i love his accent in his songs and the production is literally liquid gold. pls listen to stop the world i wanna get off with you, snap out of it, fluorescent adolescent, you're so dark, one for the road, and honestly their entire AM album. It's their most popular for a good reason i fear.

i feel like i've rambled way too much but i do have more if you'd like. can you tell i'm a mainstream music kinda person with a couple less popular artists 😭😭 ANYWAY THANK YOU FOR ASKING I LOVE SHARING MUSIC AND DISCUSSING MUSIC ITS THAT INNER MUSIC NERD WITHIN ME if you'd like classical music recs however i'd be too scared to say anything at fear of invoking the wrath of my other classically trained musicians

[nebulanewts]

So to the surprise of absolutely no one,here are my first impressions of each Fly With You!! solo song on the new Nijigasaki album :] (listen I’ve been waiting for this for SO LONG like…how many times have I referenced wondering when Nijigasaki’s 5th / 6th album to come out??)

🎀 “Walking Dream” : 7/10 - Ok,so the song itself is super pretty,it feels like I’m sitting on a cloud with the light + dreamy feeling it has,but here’s the thing…I read somewhere that the English lyrics were “interesting” and as someone who isn’t a big fan of yandere Ayumu memes I really didn’t want to believe it…but MAN did they run with it in this song,like she is way more aggressive this time like here’s some examples: “I want you to be trapped in me forever” “Who are you looking at? Don’t do that” “The private account you have, the secret hobbies you have - As long as it’s about you I know everything” - Like hello? Hi? Is it just me reading too far into this or what?? Because it looks to me like this was done on purpose 👀 idk it’s started to grow on me more now that I’ve heard the whole song,it’s not like my FAVORITE Ayumu song but it’s very pretty and I like it even if the lyrics are a little questionable cndjdj

👑 “Senobi Shittate” : 8 or 9/10 - Not gonna lie,I don’t think the preview did this song justice bc I wasn’t sure about it at first BUT the full song is definitely better,I like that they’ve been giving Kasumi more “mature” sounding songs bc while the cutesy idol sound works for her too,this sort of slower dramatic guitar song also fits her image a lot too :0c idk it’s a nice balance,we have songs for bubbly cutesy number one idol Kasumin and songs for the less confident shyer Nakasu Kasumi it’s a nice balance ^^ one of my favorites so far

💧 “Koakuma LOVE ♡” : 10/10 - Ok so my first impression of the preview still stands now because…um…HUH???? This does not sound anything like any other Shizuku song we’ve heard - it’s very fluffy and cute,she’s using onomatopoeia like “kyururin” and “doki doki”,she even talk-raps at some points��wait a minute…this isn’t a Shizuku song at all,this is a Kasumi song! It’s like Mia sent these two the wrong songs on accident,but they didn’t notice and went with it anyway chdjdj but I love it,it’s still one of my favorite songs on this album for the sheer silliness alone it’s fantastic,tbh she never makes a bad solo song in my opinion

👠 “My Shadow” : 10/10 - KARIN! NEVER! MISSES!! I’m just so happy that she finally has a jazzy funky song,it’s a sound I’ve always wanted her to try and now that she has one it’s AMAZING! It really suits her,one of my favorite things about Karin is that she never does the same concept / sound twice like there’s something for everyone and I love it,I love this song it MIGHT be my one of my favorites on the album and my favorite Karin solo it’s SO good

👏 “Request for U” : 7/10 - Well…I like that they slowed it down this time for Ai,plus the funkier trumpet sound is nice idk how to describe it’s not BAD,like it wouldn’t be an instant skip for me but I’m not going out of my way to listen to it ykwim?? For me I like her other solos a lot better,but it’s a good listen regardless

🐏 “Cooking with Love” : 12/10 - YEP! This one is my favorite,I knew it would be just from the preview but this did not disappoint like we know Kanata can do EDM bc of Butterfly - but they took it to another *level* with this song,it’s so sweet and sugary but then the DROP??? The drop near the end blew my mind,like I definitely didn’t see that coming that at all,it was amazing I love this song so much omg - to think Kanata would be the second Nijigaku member to have a kawaii bass-ish song along w/ Rina is a little bit of a surprise,but definitely a welcome one ^^

🎙️ “Cherry Bomb” : 9/10 - First of all,Hayamaru is a SPECTACULAR Setsuna like she captures the feeling of the character while also doing her own thing if that makes sense I think this is a great debut song for her,usually I’m pretty 50/50 on Setsuna’s songs but this one is really good :0c I love the drums and how high energy it is,it’s definitely up there on my favorite songs on the album and favorite solos of hers

🍞 “Koisuru Sunflower” : 8/10 - …ok so I mean this in the nicest way possible,but this song kinda sounds like the Coconut Mall theme in Mario Kart not fully but a little bit ok cndjdj anyways smth I like about Emma’s solos is they always have this warm comfy feel like they’re just hugs in song form - this one feels like I’m chilling on the beach,watching the sunset w/ a fun little drink in hand and it’s really nice :] not much else to say,I just like this song a lot which isn’t surprising because all of Emma’s solos are pretty good

🛜 “Watashi wa Magnet” : 6/10 - Well…this may be the first Rina solo that isn’t immediately one of my favorites,it’s kind of like Ai’s where it’s not bad but I’m not gonna seek it out ykwim?? It’s a cute song but not really my style,it’s a little slower than I expected it to sound ig

🔖 “Koufukuron” : 5/10 - Y’know,I was REALLY hoping that they just previewed the wrong part of the song but…why would you give this girl outfits with names like “Royal Skeleton” and “Undead Celeb” if you’re going to give her a generic pop ballad?? It’s not like. The worst song it’s fine but it’s definitely my least favorite Shioriko solo 😔 which makes me sad because I love her so much…maybe it’ll grow on me but for right now it’s my least favorite solo on this album like again it’s not horrible but I’m a little disappointed because imo her outfit choices built it up to be something it isn’t ykwim??? Maybe that’ll change but for now it’s kinda meh imo :/

🎩 “Lemonade” : 7/10 - So we’ve gone from a Taylor Swift song in 2006 to Avril Lavigne song to Avril Lavigne b-side and now we’ve circled back to a b-side on a Disney pop star’s album,honestly I’m loving Mia’s song journey chdjdj but this is probably my favorite out of the slower songs,it’s just cute and boppy Mia has one of my favorite voices in Nijigaku + I think she can pull off a lot of different concepts w/ this being no exception - not much else to say,it’s just a nice song (and I’m glad that they’ve dialed it back w/ the weird lyrics for her…for a second there she always got the slightly suspicious lyrics but this time it’s decent)

🪽 “5201314 (I Love You Forever)” : 10/10 - WHOA!!!! Lanzhu bringing in the HEAT after all of the slower songs before her,oh my g o d this song is amazing :0 I like that she speaks Chinese more,I like that it sounds like video game BGM,this might have topped Ye Mingzhu for me when it comes to Lanzhu solos like…that intro alone slapped me in the face but in the best way possible WOW this song is awesome,as expected of the queen herself to end this set of solos with a bang

🌈 “Fly with You!!” : 9/10 - Usually Nijigaku’s group songs aren’t really my thing,but this one is nice :] it makes me think of like…Hirogaru Precure for some reason even tho I haven’t seen a single episode of any Pretty Cure series cjdjdj it’s a little orchestral but also a good cheer up song idk what it is,but it’s probably one of my fave group songs now

[muff1nqwq]

sorry i havent been around in a while, things have gotten crazy, im sure you get it. my first day of being a sophmore (10th grader) starts tomorrow and while im not extremely nervous it is also 11:50 at night and i have to wake up at 6:15, ignore the specific time as it is never specific, its an estimate at best.

i have this thing called band camp that has been going on for the last couple of days. basically i play my trumpet (her name is Margaret) for 4 hours in preparation for football season (im in the band, we have to play at football games) idk where you are ofc, so to clarify, this is american football. the concussion sport.

i picked up tarot reading and it's super silly, i would recommend. its funny to think that the cards are supposed to have their own personality. id say that i dont see it, but they told me to shut up once, sassy ass cards...

i havent been hurting myself as much because of how busy i am + how cold it is. a thing about me is that i cannot ever cvt when its cold. maximum discomfort. 0/10 stars. not funky fresh.

my ex and i started talking less often and im kinda glad it happened, which might be mean to say, considering were friends still, but theres so much to do, to worry about that i can barely keep up with things.

anyways, i think thats most of it. btw if you ever dont know how to respond to one of my rambles, id love it if you might just add your own story? about anything!!!! i like hearing from you!

— rin

hiya Rin :DDD I missed u!!

GL in school!! I'm gonna b a Freshman this year and I'm excited-nervous abt it... At least its gonna b the same ppl ( even though the principal warned us abt a rush of new students, but its better than going 2 a brand new school ) I gotta fix my sleep schedule so bad, I stay up till 3am and wake up at noon :'3

:0000 IM IN BAND TOO :DD I play clarinet :3 ( btw I love how u called football the "concussion sport" XDDDD )

Tarot reading sounds so cool :000 i rlly like astrology and numerology ( I'm an Aquarius :3 )

4 me it's still hot af here, even though snow melted like 3 weeks b4 summer break :> but yesterday I went 2 go walk my doggo and right as we were turning back, it started raining, and my dumbass didn't bring a jacket and I was wearing an oversized T-shirt and shorts, so I was running ( in flip-flops ) 4 ten mins in the rain tryna get back 2 my house lolol X'3

That sounded like a line from a book I read a few yrs ago XD ( but I hope ur still finding time 4 urself :) )

A few nights ago I was rlly, RLLY hyped up 4 highschool... Same school, few new kids, new teachers, maybe a new rep... Then I thought abt what my rep would b like. I mean tbh I don't mind if I'm known as a weirdo furry theatre kid, but last yr my ex-bestie spread nasty rumours bout me, manipulate me and my friend group, and overall make everyone avoid me. At least my friends knew what she's all abt and stuck w me 4 the whole yr, but like... What if the rumours spread 2 the new kids and bad stuff happen?? So then I stayed up thinking bout that and at 2am I multiswiped 10 times and I named the cvt Jeffo :3 ( I haven't cvt in weeks cuz I didn't have many Band-Aids left )

Have a good day Rin :DDD

-Muffin

[goliraz]

cracker island track by track review

'review' used very loosely. These R the thoughts of a tipsy scouser

got too long so it's hidden; it is mainly critical tbh not because Im negative or mean its just my track by track thoughts and on sound alone this (2 me) was the weakest album they've ever put out

cracker island: if it came on in a club I would dance to it but I don't know if Id be having a great time. The song feels way more redundant than it might actually be because there's only like 1 melody in it. The instrumental melody & the vocals r the same. So IDK it's like. Its definitely technically a song. But it's like the bare minimum of a song

oil: I wish if any of the songs on this album broke from the popsynth fake drums mold it would be this one. The thing about Stevie Nicks is I don't listen to fleetwood mac at all but her voice is so unique and captivating. It crushes me like an anvil on my head that they didn't even let her sing on her own + kept her to a secondary harmony the whole time. This more than any of the other songs would have benefitted from real instruments IMO. The up a perfect fourth down a perfect third hook is catchy & that pattern can't fail it sounds good nomatter what.

the tired influencer: at this point in the album Im starting to wonder why they even bother with the characters playing instruments anymore cos what did noodle do on this album. There's like no guitar at all on the album. All the bass is synth bass. The characters' function in the band/story is getting less & less relevant to the music it annoys me. IDK this song is boring 2 me. Its like if the Fall was overproduced and had nothing 2 say

silent running: this song has always since it came out felt half finished. It's like the basis of a song that's not done IDK I feel like it's missing a component that might make it feel whole. The feature could have been deleted and the song would be the exact same; something I notice about the features on this album except Bootie brown & bad bunny is that they're extremely underutilized to the point where they might not have even been there. Like ur featuring an artist to do a background harmony??? Maybe this song will feel more done & real when I hear the piano version

new gold: 1 of the better ones on the album for me completely because of Bootie brown. Even though they took a rapper who is so strong and good even (especially) live and put his voice through 100million filters and dampened his skill completely. The live version of this one is how I wish it sounded on the album cos the energy of Bootie's part in that saves this song; timing is kind of cool but it's not like. New in any way.

baby queen: if they had changed the presentation of each instrumental in this song they could have made it an 80s synthpop genre piece like aries that would have been 4x better. I wish it wasn't so so so so so so boring to me. It just sounds like all the other songs on the album IG it feels like a filler song to me. Even just better/less smooth tone/effects on the synth wld have been something but suppose not

tarantula: it's catchy but it feels low effort. The lyrics r dumb IDK how else to put it not that they're inherently stupid but they're dumbed down. Compared to sum of their earlier more 'romantic' minded lyrics like every planet + some of the stuff off plastic beach, "if ur good for me and Im good for u then that's all I need in my life" sounds like a 2014 pop lyric geared towards the 11-16 age demographic u feel. Lyrically they've dumbed down their shit so much

tormenta: fine I guess. It's mid reggaeton that's too produced and smooth to even dance to. If it came on in a club compared to most other bad bunny songs I've heard not even the bad bunny fans would dance. It's like. Too slow to be what the only things going for it would suggest it is. The little synth break at around like 2:40 is the prettiest thing in the song to me I wish maybe they had leaned more towards that for tone instead of trying for something the song is just not

skinny ape: the third better song on the album. In terms of like well these are better than the rest. Like it's this new gold and oil I think. Maybe this is the song that feels the most comfortable in what it is. It sounds exactly like 2012 radio pop in the self proclaimed "alternative" genre like grouplove an shit. Like it sounds like 1 song in particular but I cant remember what it is and its driving me fucking mental. Something about it is likeable even though the lyrics are so fucking dumb I wanna tear my ears off. U are not a cartoon G damon u are an embarrassing middle aged geezer

possession island: like if Idaho kind of forgot its poignancy. But there's something really beautiful about the first minute of it. Maybe this is actually one of the better ones too. The further Im getting into it the more Im liking it. I don't see why beck had to be there. It's like the plague of this album they feature someone to literally sing backup. Anyway the further I get in this song the more I like it I think it's my favourite song on this album probably. OK goodbye

addendum: if I listened 2 any of these songs coked out of my mind they'd probably sound fine so maybe I should just save this album 4 those circumstances

[1d1195]

Hi Sam!! It’s been so long omg😭😭😭 I will explain later tbh bc it’s a bit wild and long! But omg I’ve missed you😭(might be a two parter 😔)

I think your gifts probably give off the vibe of being so cute and presented so well that they are just too pretty to open!

And we love a hates everyone but her moment! And your grumpy characters are a good mixture of grumpy! Like they aren’t ever truly “mean” if that makes sense lol

I can definitely understand choosing the route of “pretending” stuff doesn’t matter in order to have some peace for your mental health! I think in general we’ve all experienced some form of that whether it be in our personal lives or the world. Sometimes it just needs to happen in order to not breakdown. So I get it, there’s nothing wrong with that! Been actually do familiar with that technique lately with how life is going HAHA

How has your reading been lately?? Anything exciting? Or disappointing?! A possible new book boyfriend or are we hating some characters rn?!

Going to the symphony does sound all grown up lol but it was so nice and it made me really just miss the whole vibes of experiencing that kind of performance! My brother and I are very much nerds when it comes to music lol but omg I’m the total opposite I feel less productive! I get tired around 4 pm now 😭 and omg the COLD😭 so brutal and I think im low in iron so I’m basically freezing all the time lol I haven’t started my winter break yet! I start it in about two weeks! But idk how long it is tbh lol

Oh bestie I love when you do rom-com stuff like sometimes the cheesier the better! You just do those vibes well and it’s nice to read like “feel good moment” stuff! And tbh if I had a chance in some alternate universe to kiss HIM I WOULD TAKE IT!!! I do think you’re creative! Maybe like the painting/drawing stuff isn’t your vibe but the way you write bestie?! SO GOOD! Like these plots,plots twists,love confessions, THE YEARNING?!? You do have a very creative mind! And these dividers are just adorable!

I hope you were able to end November on a semi okay note! I know you’ve mentioned how hard it’s been this past month and I hope you were able to relax a bit for the holidays!(hope that was at least okay!) also hope you got to eat some good potatoes in any way!!

I did notice you were a bit quiet this year about your birthday! But I assumed it was mainly because it was towards the beginning of the week and school probably got in the way! But I love that your students made it a bit better! And of course glad you have some lovely people in your life because you deserve that too!!-💜

I can't make them mean, I think it's my biggest fault in writing 😭 I want to make them grumpier and meaner but I just look at Harry with his dimply smile and his cinnamon roll hair and simply can't picture him being mean.

I'm sorry you're really going through it right now. I love to compartmentalize the bad and ignore it until I can deal with it later. Not sure if it's the healthiest way to handle things but I think it's gotta be done sometimes.

I have not been reading much 😭 I'm working on a Christina Lauren book. It's related to another one that I read last year and it's okay but I don't love it tbh right now. I'm only about 70 pages in. I'm surprised though because my friend who's like the biggest bookwork I know thought it was one of their best and I'm just not seeing it atm. Hopefully it will get better. I revisited my basketball bf though for good measure. It had been a few weeks since I reread about him. I feel like I need a cheesy-wintry book boyfriend. I watched Hot Frosty on Netflix, it's incredibly ridiculous. 100/10 recommendation though. no other notes 😂

I love the music relationship you have with your brother! That's so cute. You and the tuba right? I hope i didn't make that up but I can't even remember when we talked about your instrument last so I don't think I could find it if I tried.

Idk, I feel like with limited sunlight it's like I'm being timed and i have to get more done in a shorter amount of time 😂 I love the cold so much because I get to cover up my body the way I like ☠ let's not read into that. I just love sweaters and boots. I feel way more teacher-y in the winter than i do in the summer. But I get it. My bf is a chilly person. I call our apartment The Tropic of Cancer because he has it on a boiling temp (73). I open the window making full eye contact with him when the sun comes through in the afternoon. ANYWAY. I am sorry you're cold. I totally get that and I know this is a rough time of year for a lot of people.

I don't think it's a choice that you kiss him given the chance. It's a given.

I love spending time with my fam for Thanksgiving so that was nice. But it was a long busy working. I feel like I didn't get much relaxation time but I tried. It'll be a quick turn around until winter break so at least there's that. I'm hoping to finish my Christmas shopping soon and relax a little more.

One of my fave students got into trouble right around my bday and I know it's dumb but I was so bummed out about it I barely wanted to celebrate 😂 honestly the student probably wouldn't even have known it was my birthday but idk. it's hard to explain. Kid makes my whole day just to see him. The event day of was also tricky and exhausting. But regardless.

Onto part two thanks for being the best and sweet and lovely 💕

xoxo

[whatswrongwithmeh]

05/07/2024

I had a few good days when I believed I doomed their relationship. It was a little tricky tbh because my mind was pretty occupied by this. It was like reopening my wounds but I thought the goal was worth it. Anyways, it didn’t work. 5 days later they still played games together. I wonder how that checks out. I’m really angry because I probably would’ve pushed cheating aside as well. I loved him so much I forgave everything. Until the very bitter end I never left him for what he did to me and I let myself be pushed around and be left. I can never say that I realized my worth or anything because I would’ve never left. He did a good job picking someone with even less self esteem than me. He can pull any stunt he wants and probably gets away with it. It’s kinda gross. Maybe I got left because she’s even easier? He got bored after breaking me so much. No look, I would be fine if she would get to experience the same shit I experienced. Like she got cheated on in less than a month. But he talks his way out of these things. Master manipulator. I’m scared. Everyone says he won’t change but I’m scared he might. I’m scared he’s gonna treat her well and improve. And they get to have something somewhat healthy and happy. It’s not fair. It’s poisoning my mind. It sounds so delusional to talk about healthy after he cheated but maybe it was only with me and now it will never happen again. Maybe that’s something you can suppress and ignore. I mean if it really never happens again? It only stopped because I moved out and the easy access is gone. It’s disgusting. Why is it working out? I’m going insane.

I thought I have no tears left to cry but I woke up in the morning several times just crying like I broke up yesterday. I miss him and it’s painful because I would’ve forgiven it too. It’s pathetic but despite all his lies and him mistreating me we had some good times. And I don’t want him to thrive right now. It’s an unfair shortcut through missing me. I don’t even know if he misses me. After my stunt I think he has a valid reason to hate me. That would be too easy on him. And it really scares me. Despite everything I was hoping to be someone worth missing. I want to feel like a loss. And at this rate I was only a burden, a toxic wrong piece and switching me out brought happiness to everyone except me. I’m really hurt. I loved him he was supposed to be my forever. I was hoping with time and patience he’d improve and we’d get along. But I was just not desirable anymore. I feel so terrible about myself I don’t know what to do. His entire family disliked me compared to her. 6 years for what.. That everyone is glad I’m gone? I hate this so much

I feel like I was set up for failure, I didn’t deserve this. What’s happening to me is unfair and I want someone to make up for it. Does Karma really not exist? I haven’t seen it pay out like ever.

Why did I even bother to bust him, I only hurt myself. They probably overcame that together and even grew closer, uniting over their shared hatred for me. I did them a solid. I’m sad. I’m driving my car and I’m sad he won’t drive me around when he gets his license. He probably won’t waste a thought for me. I wanted that life so bad. It wouldn’t have been good but he was always enough for me. It feels noble to say and it hurts even more that despite all that it was me who wasn’t good enough.

All that patience. I cried a lot while being with him. The lies hurt. Why do I sometimes feel like it was worth it? What is it about him that I keep glorifying and loving? It’s stupid I can never have it back. It wasn’t even that good. How long will it take for me to really feel that way? I can only hope that loneliness is making me feel this conflicted and delusional. And as soon as I experience genuine love and touch I can leave this behind. I’m sadly just really sheltered and stuck. I don’t know how to find someone who would want me. I don’t even want myself.

Im still terrified of rejection. I hate being alone..

[ridiculously-over-obsessed]

Hey! Im kind of new to the fandom, could you possibly recommend any bechloe completed fanfics? thankyou!

Hello lovely!! Welcome to the fandom, if you're looking for a super gay time you're definitely in the right fandom 🤣🤣

I can certainly rec a few for you that are completed, there are some INSANELY talented writers in this fandom, honestly I'm forever in awe of and humbled by the talent around me 🥺 but I will say don't limit yourself to completed fics!! Yes, it is disheartening to read fics that haven't been updated in eons, but as a writer with lots of wips on the go, and knowing writers with lots of wips on the go, I know that there is very little that is as encouraging as someone reading a fic that you haven't finished yet and telling you what they think of the journey so far, it's amazing 😍🥺💖

ANYWAY, here are a few fics that I absolutely adore and are completed, I hope you enjoy them as much as I did!!!

The Monster Within by aca_bechloe47

To the outside world, Beca Mitchell was a loving big sister and the personal assistant to the CEO of Nightline Clubs Inc. Luke Matthews. But behind the scenes, the truth was far more sinister. In the dark of the night, Beca took on the alias of Titanium, the assassin. Soon the security of her secret begins to fall apart and the truth threatens to rear it's ugly head. Will Beca be able to protect her sister and her friends? Will the truth of what happened to her parents cause Beca's world to fall apart even further? Will the officers Beale and Posen have the bust of their careers, or will they find themselves in danger of The Assassins Guild of Atlanta?

(I literally recommend this fic to EVERYONE skljgdlfg it's my favourite bechloe fic of all time, I re-read it all the time, I forgot what their tumblr url is which is TRAGIC but yes, read this!!)

Home Is A Person by @massivedrickhead

Beca has been in the foster care system since she was a baby, and she’s never had anywhere she could call home.

She arrives at the Beale’s home just hoping for a safe place to stay until she turns 18.

For Chloe’s part, she had never gotten behind her parents’ need to foster kids. And despite outward appearances, she hadn’t felt at home here since she was a kid.

(Hands down one of the best bechloe fics in existence I cannot with this fic it owns my heartttt 🥺 also just read anything and everything that massivedrickhead puts out, seriously it's all incredible)

pieces by @suituuup

Five years ago, Chloe dropped off the face of the Earth. Beca didn't expect to see her again dancing in a strip club, out of all places.

(HOLY FUCK I swear to god I still think about this fic weekly, it's so fucking good and the EMOTIONS and the ROLLERCOASTER omgggggg 😩😍 again, read anything and everything by suituuup because she's not only a lovely person but an incredible writer too)

barriers by swanqueenfic13

So this is a little fic I've been working on in which Beca meets Chloe at an LA Pride parade, but fate keeps bringing them back together. In the face of a tragedy, Beca has to learn to let down her walls and rely on others. (IDK I'm bad at summaries just give it a chance)

(Oh the feels in this fic, god we love to see them being a safe place for the other it makes me so freaking soft man 🥺🥺🥺 be wary of the content warnings for this one though!!!)

Sing To Me Instead by @pocketdragon

A series of Bechloe one shots and short-form stories inspired by the tracklist from Ben Platt's 'Sing to me Instead' album.

(Okay yes, this is a serious of fics but hear me out kldjklfdjgdf they are all AMAZING, the variety of emotions I go through reading this series I cannot deal, and honestly if you haven't listened to either of Ben Platt's albums go do it, I promise you will not regret it kldfjglkdf)

Paint Your Colours Over Mine by @snowydot

Chloe is used to the colors, and she knows they will never leave. It hadn’t occurred to her that, for Beca, they weren’t really there.

(No okay, you want softness??? Go read this, it makes me very emotional and I melt every goddamn time, Ginny is not only the sweetest person but such a talented writer, you really should read this fic)

i get a feeling, looking you in the eye by @chloebeale

The USO tour came at the right time for Beca, right after quitting her job and needing a distraction. But what about a distraction from her best friend? Who just happens to be sitting by the pool in the middle of the night when Beca is struggling to sleep...

(my beloved E rated Ellie has MANY fics you should read, hell just read them all, seriously I'm so lucky to be her best friend, I am a better person and writer just from being around her. I could have picked so many of her fics to recommend to you, but I picked this one because (a) it's so freaking good, and (b) it is the birthplace of Beca Pigchill and I will adore it forever for that kdfjglkdfjd)

Happy reading anon!!! 😍🥰💖

[404writes]

Scars - (Carl Grimes)

Masterlist !! Taglist !!

Summary: Reader helps Carl clean his eye wound after discovering he couldn't bring himself to do it.

Word Count: 1.3k Pairing: None A/N: Forewarning, this story is very conversation heavy, tbh I wrote it for myself so I wasn't really thinking about that stuff. Hope you enjoy anyways! -S404 !! Trigger Warning: Mention of scars (Presumed but not mentioned that they're the result of physical abuse) !!

You open the door to the Grimes’ house to see Michonne smiling and Judith bubbling away in the kitchen, both organising the pantry. “Hey Y/N! what can I do for you?” Michonne called out, diverting her attention from Judith and her shenanigans. “Not much today, I was just here to see if Carl was home? I haven't seen him around today,” you felt bad, coming for him and no one else. “Oh yeah! He’s up in his room, don’t know exactly what he’s up to right now though,” Michonne tried to respond whilst stopping Judith from eating raw ingredients. “Thanks Michonne, we’ve gotta catch up properly sometime soon, I feel as if I don’t see enough of you anymore.” It was true, you spent most of your time out on runs or with Carl. Michonne was one of your best friends, and you saw less and less of her every day. “Yeah definitely Y/N, maybe sometime next week, I'll leave Judy with Olivia and we can have a coffee!” Michonne replied, enthusiastic. “Sounds great, I’ll be on my way now but let me know when you have that free day.” You felt as though you were disrupting something, as Judith continued to cause havoc for Michonne to attempt to prevent.

“See ya Y/N!" Michonne cheered from her position in the kitchen. “Bye Michonne! Bye Judith!” You said, waving and blowing raspberries at the 4 year old.

~

You swiftly walked up the stairs, making your way to the door of the Grimes you know best. Approaching the vacantly silent room you knock. “It’s me!” You call out although unnecessary, he’d open the door even if he didn't recognise your voice. “Yeah, uh, come in.” You take the offer and open the door. Seeing the empty-presenced room, you follow through to the bathroom, leaning on the door frame, looking at the familiar face in the mirror. Just as a smile begins to form on your face, you see the distress on the one in front of you. “Oh, not a good day?” You ask, your brows furrowing just enough for the three lines he loved so much (for a reason unknown to man) to appear. “You could say that.” He said, avoiding eye contact. “Talk to me, Mr Grimes.” You venture, leering for an answer. “It’s nothing much, just some dust and dirt got under the bandage. Now I have to clean it to 'avoid infection' or something, that's what Carson said." It may have been a satisfactory answer, but you knew better than that. “So- What’s so bad about that?” You ask, becoming more curious than sympathetic. “I just uh, I don’t think I can look at myself with it off-” He finally gave in. “Oh.” You replied, unsure of what to say, not having given any prior thought to the fact he might have felt that way.

~ A few moments passed before you had collected yourself enough to speak again. “How long have you been staring in that mirror for?” You ask. Still curious, but feeling immense pity for the boy. He turns around to look at you, appearing defeated, “too long.” “I could do it for you if you’d like, away from the mirror?” You offered your help. “I couldn’t ask you to do that.” He replied with a sense of urgency. You couldn't tell if he was rejecting your help because he genuinely thought it was something you shouldn't have to do or see, or if he just didn't want to open up to the vulnerability of the process. “Yes you could. It’s still bothering you isn’t it? Taking it off?” You urged.  “I don’t know. I’ve just, never really taken it off for anyone before,” he replied, becoming more open by the second. You were aware he was uncomfortable having his missing eye visible to other people, even you hadn't ever really seen it before. However you weren't aware the problem stemmed this far back, had he even seen it off before? “You wouldn’t be taking it off for me. Plus, it needs to be cleaned, that’s not really an optional thing.” You sought his approval, longing for him to find the smallest bit of inner peace. Maybe allowing a sense of vulnerability would do some good for him. “Alright.” The single word brought you an intense wave of relief. “Okay, just sit on the bed, I’ll grab the cleaning stuff.” You walked into the bathroom as he walked out, grabbing the bag of things that were sitting idle before you had touched them. You came out, put the bag down on the side table, pulled a wheelie chair over, and gazed at the boy in front of you. ~

“Tell me if I need to stop. No exceptions.” You pleaded, to which he nodded. You started to brush the hair from his face, deeply analysing the insecurity his features wallowed in. Like painting porcelain, you took to the bandage with the most gentle of touches, slowly unwrapping in a way not to bring suspense, but in hopes to make the boy feel secure. As the last of the bandage came undone a single tear fell from Carl’s face. Not in any way prolonging the process, you picked up some damp cloth and began to clean, as the boy continued to weep. “You know, everyone has scars. I’m not going to give you one of those talks about how you should be proud of it, and wear it with that pride, because that’d be complete bullshit. As I was saying though, everyone has scars, some are larger, and some are easier to hide. But none of us want to wear them, and all of us feel just as vulnerable and exposed when they’re all we wear. I just don’t know why we give them that power.” It's something you'd been thinking about for a while. You looked into the boy’s remaining eye to see it staring back, you hoped that he resonated with your words. “I’ve seen yours.” The three words momentarily paralysed you. Gaining back your composure, you replied, “figured.” His brow drooped. “Sorry, I thought you should know… Why do you hide them?” He was distracted, good. “They aren’t me.” You responded, finishing up the cleaning. “Anyways, you should probably let air get to that for a few hours at least. Did Rick bring you back any new comics on his last run?” You asked, genuinely curious. “Yeah, he found the one I was missing from that Marvel series, and he brought back another series I reckon you’ll like.” A slight smile was forming at the cracks of his mouth. “Well indulge me then, let’s read.” You stood up from the chair and shifted to the bed.

~

“Alright we should probably get a bandage back over that eye about now.” You declared. Standing up from where you sat, the boy subtly looked at you up and down. You walked into the bathroom to fetch a new bandage for him, “Y/N, can I ask you a question?” Carl ventured. You walked out, sat again on the wheelie chair, and pulled your body closer to his, so much that your legs were touching. “Yeah what’s up?” You replied, beginning to work. “How does it look?” All his focus was on you. “Well to be honest, I think it looks totally kick-ass and banging at best. It’s a cool scar, and it has a lot of story to tell. I get why you’re insecure about it though, can’t blame you. I just hope you come around to it at some point.” You wanted to say that for a long time, but never wanted to make him feel uncomfortable. He smiled “You really think so?” You smiled too “Yeah, I do.”

[phoenixyfriend]

Fake Sith TCW Trio

I have another fucked up time-travel AU! Who’s surprised? (Nobody.)

So like. Have you guys read that one fic where Luke and his students go back in time and pretend to be Sith Lords and are super hammy about it? (Sith Lord Swell by AMournfulHowlInTheNight)

This AU has contributions by @atagotiak, @the-lunar-system, @purronronner, @gelpenss, @creepingthroughthistidalwave, and @thisarenotarealblog.

I want TCW trio (plus Rex and Cody) to go back to several years pre-TPM and, since the Council DEFINITELY won't believe them about the Sith being back... they'll force the issue.

Anakin is weirdly excited about things and building up their backstory.

Anakin: Okay so I can definitely be a Maul type, with the unhinged ranting and manic laughter, Obi-Wan can be the whole Refined Rich Guy type like Dooku, where you can't even tell he's evil until he starts talking about getting out the eyeball scoops, maybe toss in a bit of mad science stuff? Ahsoka could play up like Ventress OR, oh oh, she can be the Light Side Child we need to PROTECT who's publicly begging us to return to the Light after our big dramatic Falls where we murdered like eighty people to save her, and-- Obi-Wan: Why are you never this enthusiastic about actual undercover missions. Ahsoka: Did you just have all this ready to go, or...? Anakin: WE COULD GET YELLOW CONTACT LENSES FOR ME.

Obi-Wan: How's my evil laugh?

Anakin going “Okay.. so if any of us need to murder someone to sell the bit it should be me, I think I could handle it the best. Why? No reason.”

Obi-Wan: I'm not sure a complete Fall could come from protecting Ahsoka, really-- Anakin: No, no, it could.

Obi-Wan: Surely you’d hold back because you realize neither of us want that for you. Anakin: Uh. Sure. Definitely.

Obi-Wan points out that none of them can channel the dark side to Prove they're Sith and Anakin just goes "Okay, give me like two seconds to stew in my negativity and--right, you can stop staring in horror, please."

Anakin rambles on that they can TOTALLY make the galaxy a better place while playing at being Sith! He's got a whole LIST of slave empires to "take over" and disassemble!

Anakin has a whole excited spiel about how EVIL soldiers and assistants are minions, in this case partly because Cody and Rex are too good at what they do to be mooks. Cody could pull off evil minion very well. Facial scar? Looks good in black? Quietly competent and sarcastic?

He also pushes for Obi-Wan to lounge in a fancy throne with a glass of wine while Anakin stalks the shadows and Ahsoka hangs out on the window ledge. The disaster lineage is dramatic, okay, Anakin’s just leaning into it, he’d appreciate it if everyone stopped looking at him like that.

Qui-Gon, surprisingly, ends up a skeptic about all of this. Everyone is freaking out about the Sith and he’s like “y’know I’m not even sure they’re darksiders.”

Some Jedi, possibly Qui-Gon for his conspiracy board, gets in a real risky situation and one of the Fake Sith saves them, but also panics and kinda drops character for a bit.

Jedi: You saved me! Why’d you do that? Anakin: I uh... just wanted the pleasure of killing you myself?

"You saved me. Why?" "Mmmm. Jedi." [walks away]

Qui-Gon: [trying to figure out what is up with these people semi-competently (from his perspective) pretending to be Sith] Dooku: [trying to protect Qui-Gon from Sith influence]

The gang is the most successful at pretending to be Sith to Dooku. Sure, they’re not gonna punish him for something he hasn’t done, but it’s not hard to act menacing and angry around him.

(They really do have so much fun irritating the heck out of Dooku. He hasn’t Fallen yet, but they want to keep an eye out.)

At some point, future Obi-Wan definitely drops that little tidbit of "What, you didn't think the Banites were the only Sith running around did you? You... didn't even know about the Banites. How... disappointing."

They REGULARLY use Ahsoka as an excuse to be marginally less terrible. They claim that if Ahsoka pouts, they stop. ‘Soka also uses them as an excuse for why she’s a lil feral. (To be fair, that one is accurate. She was already a lil feral before but it’s not like they did anything to stop it.) Ahsoka gets her "breaking into people's offices" jollies by bugging Nute Gunray's office.

The Jedi keep trying to Rescue Ahsoka.

Rex and Cody end up in real beskar, there's a whole Thing with Mandalore and Jango and Satine.

Obi-Wan is CONSISTENTLY worried about Anakin Falling for real, which... hey, at least he knows to be worried about Anakin Falling. Step up from canon, really.

Anakin is WAY too into killing the Hutts but like. It does... technically sell the bit.

Obi-Wan: Sure, I’m not sad that they’re dead, especially because we’re not connected to the Republic, so we don’t need to worry about starting a war and all that. But. Anakin is disturbingly cheerful about this. Rex: Wasn't he a Hutt slave? Obi-Wan: Well yes, but-- Rex: I'd kill Nala Se if I could get away with it.

Cody and Rex are very supportive of Anakin's murderous intentions.

Obi-Wan does understand anger, even killing someone in anger. Like Maul (the first time at least) and D’nar and a few others. All the same, like... y’know. The level of bloodthirst from the others is a little off-putting.

At one point, Anakin accidentally addresses young Obi-Wan by name, despite never having met before, and to cover it up, he... panic-flirts. He panics, and so he flirts, with young Obi-Wan.

(He will later blame this on old Obi-Wan, because he had to pick up the habit of flirting with the enemy from somewhere.)

Anakin vaguely implies that he's a wee bit obsessed with young Obi, and that the padawan should "get used to being the target of a dark-sider's interests," because he’s scrambling for Ominous Shit and, well, future Obi-Wan was pretty frequently a fixation point for darksiders, right?

The second he gets out, he just starts screaming into a bucket while Rex pats him on the back.

For the next however many terrible months, possibly years, he has to keep up the act while having an ongoing meltdown about how That's My Dad As A Twenty-Something.

(It doesn't help that young Obi-Wan reflexively flirted back.)

Old Obi-Wan, meanwhile, is just very "you dug this hole yourself, padawan."

There is an argument at the beginning about Obi-Wan’s outfit. If he’s gonna be a Sith, he can’t just go around in beige, but he’s like “I like this and it’s comfy.” Sure, he’s changed clothes for undercover stuff, but that’s always been temporary, y’know? He likes his beige.

We have a number of options.

My first instinct? Beige linen three piece suit, like a southern lawyer. "Now I may just be a simple Outer Rim force adept--"

And, of course, you can TOTALLY make the beige sinister: he’s impersonating a Jedi! Jedi impersonation would also explain why nobody has a red saber.

“Sure is good that the Jedi don’t seem to realize most of the galaxy doesn’t know red sabers are different and bad.” “Shhhh, stop poking holes in our story where a Jedi might overhear.”

Like.... if you do enough doublethink, it works! How would a Sith hide? In plain sight. Also, it’s a GREAT way (if they were actually assholes) to try to slander the Jedi name.

(Anakin and Ahsoka still think he could stand to put a little more effort in. Add a splash of color, for pity's sake!)

Though tbh part of me is like “What if Old Obi wore, like... a split skirt suit...” Victorian womenswear inspired because he misses his robes, but he has to look Professional, and like he's MOCKING Jedi instead of BEING one, so he wears a vintage-y split skirt thing over his leggings. Ends up looking a lot like what Ventress had for a while, but Beige. I also keep wanting to put him regency menswear.

Anyway. Obi-Wan’s wardrobe aside...

Anakin builds up his Tatoo accent again. It helps him with the (mostly true) "slavery helped me fall" backstory.

Either Cody or Rex offhandedly mentions being made to serve them (the Fake Sith) and now the Jedi are somewhat concerned about brainwashing. Are these Mandos the victims here?

“No like. Literally made for this. In a lab.” This is even more horrifying. So...

On the one hand good! The Jedi should be scared about Sith! On the other hand... it makes the Jedi more determined to stop them, specifically. They keep on getting in the way, just, all the time, and they’re not investigating the actual Sith problem, which is decidedly not great since the Team doesn’t actually know who’s a real Sith right now, except Maul, and who even knows where that guy is.

Obi-Wan, at some point: Do you think we've succeeded at this ruse... a little TOO well? Anakin: I don't follow. Obi-Wan, gesturing at the truly obnoxious amount of wealth they've collected, including "trophies" of their kills: Really? Because I'm a little worried! Anakin, planning out a battle to take on Nar Shadda: ...I'm not.

"How many people do we realistically we need to take over Hutt Space? Apparently... five."

(Mostly because Anakin is ridiculously op.)

ANAKIN AND YOUNG OBI GET KIDNAPPED BY PIRATES TOGETHER. It's tradition.

Anakin: Okay, so, I need to get really angry about something to pass as a Sith... time to think about my WIFE and how I'll NEVER SEE HER AGAIN.

Since Anakin’s life never goes as planned... this does not work. Instead of getting properly angry, he makes himself sad. There are tears. There is wailing. There’s a distraught rant or two. Young Obi ends up awkwardly trying to comfort him.

“Oh no, this… Sith?? Is crying on me. What do I do???”

Later on, when the Council wants intel: "So... one of the Sith cried on me about his wife. I think she's dead? He wasn't very clear about it but it, uh... it sounded like it might have contributed to his Fall. Also the relationship was a little unhealthy? He basically worshiped the ground she walked on and kept ranting about how he would have given her the galaxy on a platinum platter of she'd only asked, but that might be new and inspired by the Dark."

One of the random Jedi is REALLY good at detecting the truth Through The Force, and asks Anakin how he Fell...

Anakin just. Tells the Tuskens story.

They don't get pinged as lying, but oh boy does old Obi have a LOT of questions for Anakin once they're in private.

There are other things happening to help sell the ruse. Some of them are necessary! Some of them are... not.

Obi-Wan: What's the best way to show we're rich and kind of evil, but like... classy about it? Anakin, immediately: I sit on the floor next to the throne, leaning against it, and you call me pet names while stroking my hair, and then when you need something killed I get to do it for you and then I go back to the floor and you thank me for the directed violence, and then you go back to Negotiations with criminals while I’m sitting there covered in blood. Obi-Wan: ...is there something you want to TELL us, or...?

"You're all going to get a glimpse of something normally kept hidden about me." "Anakin, you don't have to do that." "No, I'm gonna."

(Anakin has decided hes going to peel his kink tomato to sell this ruse, and the others are slightly uncomfortable with that.)

Anakin: Okay, I cannot keep flirting with you. Young Obi: Wait, what? But that's the best part of any time we run into you! Anakin: You look WAY too much like my Master did when I met him. Obi: O...kay? If someone looked like my master when HE was young, I'd-- Anakin: My Sith Master half-raised me. He's basically my dad. Obi: ... Anakin: What's that look for? Obi: I mean, you spend a lot of time lounging at his feet, and, like, given how much you hate slavery, I... kind of assumed it was a kink thing? Anakin, brightly: Oh no, I just have a LOT of trauma. And neuroses. Snips says they’re neuroses.

Young Obi is a little upset because he was actually getting REALLY into Flirting With The Enemy and was hoping it would go somewhere. He mopes to Qui-Gon about it. Qui-Gon isn't sure whether to be proud about Obi breaking rules, or worried over Obi-Wan falling for a Fake Sith.

(As Tia put it: "You enjoy making young Obi-Wan have a completely unrequited crush on Anakin, don’t you?")

Fortunately, one of those attractive Young Mando boys very kindly helped him tape up his ribs this one time, and has thus caught his eye...

I feel like having Cody date Young Obi would court an entirely different kind of (internet) drama because clone ages, but whatever.

Also please imagine an element of "so I'm dating the genetic identical of my boss... who's dating the man I'm a genetic identical of..."

(It's probably not actually Jangobi but man would that be funny and also stupid.)

Somehow Young Obi figures out that the "Sith Master" is a future him before he realizes that they're not actually dark. In his defense, Anakin was pretty convincing. Especially with the wife rant. It makes HIM more obsessed with Anakin, in a reversal of the implied earlier dynamic, which is all kinds of weird. Less romantic but like. Still weird.

"Future Me Scares Me" with Extra stupid. "Future Me Annoys Me." "Future Me acts like grandmaster Dooku, but more sass." "Future Me raised a really hot evil guy that refuses to bang Present Me." "Future Me might be a Sith, but I'm getting more and more convinced he's just fucking with us all." "Future Me is really rocking that beard, and I can't BELIEVE we figured out a way around the babyface."

"I’m kinda concerned about the whole evil thing, but I’m also glad that I know I’ll stay hot as I get older."

Quinlan approves of the priorities.

Also a lot of interactions with older Obi are very Anakin: [does/says something deeply unhinged] Obi-Wan: So, do you want to…. Talk about that? Maybe? Anakin: What’s there to talk about?? I’m fine, everything’s fine! Anyways how about those plans for tracking down Maul?

Anakin later, like way after the ruse is lifted, just blankly tells everyone that he did Fall, once, and Older Obi made him get therapy about it after the truth came out between the two of them a few months into the Fake Sith thing.

Where'd they find a therapist? I'm sure there's one SOMEWHERE around. Denon and Herdessa are close enough, and they've done enough "your criminal empire now belongs to me" that they can pay well. They make sure to find one that takes confidentiality real seriously.

It's all very "we need some more time to unpack all that."

Therapy helps get Anakin to figure out Sheev’s whole deal. They don't necessarily figure out he’s a Sith from it, but they figure out he’s sketchy and they need to look into that more. Obi-Wan probably already thought he was sketchy, but the whole active gaslighting campaign was a little surprising. They realize that he kinda benefited a lot from a lot of Sith plots and they still probably don’t think he’s a Sith but Obi-Wan is definitely starting to think he’s working with one.

"Okay, we're already bugging Gunray, should we bug Palpatine just to be safe?"

They get away with a lot of slicing because Anakin is a technical genius from twenty years in the future.

The reasons they're so good at Taking Over Hutt Space: 1. They know parts of the future. 2. They have superpowers and FAR less reason to not use them, now that their actions aren't going to reflect on the Republic. 3. They have Cody and Rex, who are two of the greatest military minds in the galaxy, and know EXACTLY how to wage a war that covers a solid third of the galaxy, starting from a position of relative weakness. 4. Anakin's charisma is scary high, and his knowledge of slave culture means they gain a lot of trust from the people they free, and they just... keep acquiring volunteers for the army they didn't plan to have. Obi-Wan doesn't know what to do. He thinks they might have started a cult?

In his defense, Dooku sort of started a cult, and Komari got kidnapped by a cult, brainwashed into joining it properly, and then took it over as head figure of said cult. It's practically tradition!

Comics Vader is the central figure of like three different cults, it was really just inevitable.

Anakin: Aw, don't worry master, it's not a cult, it's a revolution! Ahsoka: They're worshiping him, though. Anakin: ...it's still a revolution! Just... with some misunderstandings.

Also, if they got wind of people trying to keep people from being able to leave and other culty stuff like that, they’d probably put a stop to it pretty damn quick.

Names! Time for names. As per usual, it's easiest to keep track of Obi-Wan's alternate Older Self by just calling him Ben.

Darth Ben.

Ahsoka: You should be Darth Boring. Obi-Wan: I can still make you run laps, you know.

Anakin: The Force is telling me to call myself Darth Vader. Obi-Wan: ...why? Anakin: I dunno, but it sounds cool, I'll run with it.

Someone: Ben has all the answers; we shouldn’t question him, ever. Ben: One time I lost a planet, and a five-year-old found it for me.

More options: Going with the "evil word with the prefix 'in' chopped off" that we get with Sidious and Vader: Darth Surrectus (as in insurrection) Just random Latin words: Darth Temporus (time) Darth Commenticius (fake)

Anyway, back to Nonsense:

Maul goes after young Obi early, because the Fake Sith are really invested in this one random Padawan (Sidious is saying he might be a cousin of the false Sith Master? They do look similar enough) so someone needs to investigate. Naturally, Anakin shows up with some wild screeching to fight Maul, and when someone questions why he got involved it gets very "Kenobi is MINE!" and like. Okay. So.

Anakin means it in a very Sith "to toy with" and "to torture" way, or the ‘my chosen opponent!�� way, just the same kind of Obsession as Maul had with Obi-Wan in the original timeline. Unfortunately, Anakin’s a weird-ass person who flirts with Young Obi against his own better judgement, so there's some awkward "Like... your boyfriend?" from young Obi. Anakin just screeches in SOME emotion that nobody wants to interpret, and couldn't even if they wanted to, and starts whacking away at Maul again.

(Anakin hasn't explained the "you look exactly like my dad, sorry, it's just too weird" thing yet, and he is HAVING MANY REGRETS.)

There's definitely at least one instance where a person asks Anakin if he's planning on dating That One Jedi Twink, or at least banging out the tension. At that point in time, Anakin doesn't actually know who the fuck they're talking about, because "Obi-Wan + Twink = Does Not Compute" for dear, dense Ani, and instead he just ends up ranting about how he is LOYAL TO THE MEMORY OF HIS LATE WIFE, how DARE anyone so much as INSINUATE that he would TARNISH HER PERFECT MEMORY and UNWAVERING KINDNESS and WHOLESOME BEING, and the person who asked doesn't end up lightsabered but they do end up with a LOT to tell whoever they're reporting to.

Young Obi-Wan definitely hears Anakin mutter the phrase “something to discuss with my therapist later” a few times, and he’s a little bewildered because darksiders definitely don’t seem like the type of people to go to therapy. They’re the type of people to need therapy, sure, but not the type to go to therapy.

I think it would be very fun for Young Obi to continue sighing over Anakin (who's pretending to be fine with it and even flirting back because he's in too deep to stop and hasn't worked up the courage to explain the elephant in the room) while Anakin is covered in grease and infodumping while having a slightly manic hyperfocus on engine repairs while the two of them Somehow got stranded together in the middle of bumfuck nowhere (it's Plagueis's doing, he finds the interactions between THESE two in particular to be the most informative regarding the fake Sith).

Anakin, at some point while stranded with young Obi-Wan, and having actually started unpacking some stuff in therapy, though he’s def still got a ways to go: I’m pretty sure Ben cares about me. He acts like he cares, like he’ll do stuff like put extra blankets in my quarters in the spaceship because I get cold real easily or track down those droid parts I need for a project and he always has my back in a fight but y’know it’d be nice to hear him say he loves me once in a while. Especially because we kinda had a rough start and idk I don’t think he wanted me around at first.

And uh. Obi-Wan definitely relates to that a bit too much, y’know?

I want to say that Young Obi ends up mentioning All That to one of the clones or Ahsoka later, because they seem probably invested in Anakin's well-being, even if Ben is, well, a Sith, so Obi-Wan's a little worried the man's affection really is fake, but at least Ahsoka...

(Ironic, given what Anakin's actual eventual Sith would-be-Master was like.)

Young Obi mentions Anakin’s most recent rant to Ahsoka, and she just goes "Wait, is that why Skyguy likes to sit by the throne and get called pet names?" "Uh... I don't... know... but it sounds like all of you have a LOT to unpack there, Miss Apprentice."

Later on: "Master Kenobi, you need to tell Skyguy you love him 'cause apparently he's been having a lot of emotions about you not telling him you care and he's been talking to mini-you about it whenever they get stuck together and--"

Young Obi-Wan is just constantly the "Now we don't have time to unpack all of that" John Mulaney gif. Anakin in particular is a mess, and young Obi-Wan slowly goes from "I want to date that" to "I want to study that" about him.

Obi-Wan gets stuck somewhere with Ben, tries to small talk, gets on the topic of Vader, and spills the drama. He gets an awkward “Thank you for bringing that to my attention.”

It’s followed by a fairly frustrated “I try, but Anakin refuses to communicate his needs to me, and it feels like I’m always falling short.”

At least one member of the group is in therapy, probably all of them, but they’re still using young Obi as a sounding board for all this stuff. On the bright side, this is probably good for impressing the importance of good communication on Obi-Wan.

Good for Obi-Wan! And... whatever Padawan he eventually has.

As for baby Anakin, who is approximately age four, I want to go with "Anakin decides to be his own uncle, and Shmi just rolls with it because fuck it, she’s not a slave anymore, and a Fake Sith is a solid defense against anyone trying to re-enslave them."

[This is a backstory I've had them use before (see here and here).]

Seeing Big Ani and Little Ani in the same space might be what finally pings the "oh shit, that's future me" thing for Obi-Wan... you know, if he’s ever allowed close enough to see Little Ani in the first place.

Little Ani stays with the fake-Sith and is sorta jointly trained by all of them, and young Obi-Wan teaches little 'Soka at the Temple. Ani and 'Soka still end up friends somehow, but it is fairly different.

Every time little Ani addresses Old Obi as "Dad," it's just like ten kinds of awkward. The one time someone tried to explain that Ben wasn't his new dad, Shmi glared them down. She is of the opinion that, all the gods be damned, Ani deserves to refer to the most mature man in his life, who raised another him in another timeline already, as a father.

Ani doesn't NEED a father, Shmi herself is more than enough, but he does deserve to have this if he wants it.

An alternative conclusion to the time travel is uh. So the Mandalorians are genetically identical (give or take a hair gene) and really resemble Jango Fett, though whether anyone notices that is up in the air. Then the three ‘Sith’ (two fake Sith and their morality chain tag-along) have three younger, identical copies show up….

It could be really weird cloning shenanigans. Now, it makes no sense that they’d make clones, and stagger their production like that, and leave them as babies on various planets for Jedi to find. IDK what reasons Obi-Wan would come up with for that, but it’s a fun little detour before he gets to time travel.

There's a really painful moment (for the audience, who know about canon Vader) where someone tries to convince Ahsoka to leave the Sith and she's just like "no way, they'd never hurt me!” Then she clarifies that “someone has to keep them from doing stupid Sith shit whenever they get bored, you know?"

A bunch of Jedi probably think she’s delusional, but the few that have seen her get into trouble that is legitimately too much for her, which isn't often, have then seen Anakin show up like the devil himself to save her, and it's like. Oh. This is why she isn't scared of them hurting her.

We’ve discussed how Anakin does get concerningly in character with the fake Sith thing. However, Anakin and Ahsoka are, just once in a while, surprised by how Ben gets sometimes when playing the bad guy.

After all, he stabbed a dude with a fork and threatened to eat him during his time as Hardeen…

He has the same dramatic streak as all the rest of the lineage. He can be vindictive and creepy and scary as fuck.

HOWEVER:

Obi-Wan: I know I'm supposed to be playing at evil right now, but how do we feel about me making that evil a little... fruity? Ahsoka: Fruity, master? Anakin, who knows where this is going: [buries face in hands] Obi-Wan: You know, the... [limp wrist] Ahsoka: ... Obi-Wan: I mean, I'm already bisexual and well-groomed, I can play it up.

What’s the point of being evil if you can’t be flamboyant?

Anyway, I had to put in a lot of thought for what to do with Rex and Cody, because there's a solid place for them in terms of strategy, but it doesn't do much to give them independent narrative arcs, and 'young Obi-Wan has a crush' isn't much of an arc, you know?

So, basic info first: Cody, Rex, and Anakin all hold the rank of General in this AU because, like... who else is gonna. Ahsoka remains a commander because everyone declares her Baby, and also to keep up the "I'm a morality chain" ruse.

Cody maintains a very stern and unyielding public persona, but the second they're behind closed doors, he's roughhousing with his little brother.

Rex has some fun pretending to be a sadist whenever he and Anakin have to team up, because hamming it up as an evil bastard in front of Jedi is actually really fun... but usually, he's a competent fucking professional.

Because here's the thing: someone has to be.

They both kind of hate the army they've gotten, because these people don't even have proper trigger discipline, let alone any actual discipline.

This army? Tragic. They hate it. Give them the clones.

They have to be drill sergeants for months before they have anything worth sending onto the field.

I think that might be how/when they end up reaching out to Jango. Like, the first inroad is absolutely "we're your clones from the future and you were a Shit Dad so you owe us," but then they actually talk him around into letting the Fake Sith hire him. He brings along all the Mandalorians he can get to answer his calls, and on suggestion from Those Mando Twins, joins the army Ben doesn't even want.

Darth Boring doesn't want an army! Unfortunately, Cody thinks that's stupid as hell, and is overruling Ben so they can actually work on this 'cleaning up the galaxy of slavery' thing with actual resources.

Cody and Rex are super competent, and it shows in their horrified disdain for the state of their troops.

Rex: Fucking natborns. Anyone who isn't in the know: What's a natborn? Rex: [leaves without answering] People: WHAT'S A NATBORN???

(I'm assuming that the word smush is harder to parse in Basic.)

I think young Obi-Wan's new crush on Cody should also be unrequited. Cody's just like... bemused. Very "Okay, then, that sure is an Affection you've decided on."

Cody and Anakin both: Sorry, it’d just be too weird. Obi-Wan: Why would it be too weird? Cody and Anakin: Reasons.

Rex has to deal with the "whyyyyy" from both his brother and his (former?) General.

Young Obi-Wan just likes cute boys that fight good! Is that so wrong???

Ahsoka: So since we're not officially Jedi anymore-- Obi-Wan: We're still Je-- Ahsoka: Can we date? Can I date now? I want to date someone before we go back to the Code. It's a classic life experience for most teenage girls, and I want to Have That Experience before we're back at the Temple. Obi-Wan: You're not... you can date, Ahsoka, that's not actually banned by the Code. I mean, you'd have to keep it casual, but-- Ahsoka: I CAN DATE!!!

(Great priorities, Ahsoka.)

An idea I'm toying with is that one of the clones ends up Legally Engaged to Satine for political reasons, and young Obi-Wan is just like ???? because not only can he not date the hot boys, but one of said hot boys has become Mr. Steal Yo Girl.

Young Obi-Wan is suffering, and Quinlan is the worst friend ever because Quinlan is laughing at him.

There is obviously the question of

"How would Satine ever end up agreeing to that, given what their public personas are like and all that? She puts duty ahead of personal feelings but all indications are that it’s a terrible decision both ways." (as stated by Tia)

Which, yes, I forgot to actually say that I was imagining Jango had declared "those twins" his heirs after telling people they were his younger* cousins. Because reasons.

* Jango is about 27 when they land in the past, and I’m going to say the accelerated aging ended after hitting physically twenty because no, I don’t want to deal with that. As far as anyone knows, Cody and Rex are about five years younger than Jango. They’re less than year apart, which isn’t very visible, and most people assume they’re identical twins (except Rex’s hair), and that Cody just looks slightly older because of the scar.

Darth Boring had convinced Satine that the way to keeping Mandalore peaceful was to work with Jango (because Darth Boring, which is not his actual title but it is what Ahsoka insists on calling him in private, has a vested interest in keeping Mandalore and all interested parties calm), and he... maybe accidentally set up a political marriage between her and one of the clones.

It wasn't on purpose! Satine never married in his timeline, okay, he didn't expect her to ever get married here, either! He didn't even suggest it! This just happened!

(I want to say that Cody would be more competent at having a political marriage? But IDK.)

Do I do the Satine thing? It has potential, but also it's a bit of a cop-out. Do I have Cody be a diplomatic representative for their pseudo-Sith empire? He could be, but I think he'd hate it. Do I have Rex date one the Chaos Entities (Anakin or Ahsoka), or is that too repetitive with my other works? THERE'S JUST TOO MUCH GOING ON.

Part of me wants Quinlan to get a crush on Cody, and the crush gets bigger specifically in response to the fact that Cody refuses to take him seriously and/or just doesn't give him the time of day.

Based on their one interaction in TCW, they probably let get along ok. Cody maybe likes him back, buuuuuuut internally he's just a little "you were tolerable at almost-forty; early twenties you is obnoxious."

Just imagine the absolutely puppyish attempts at gaining approval and Impressing The Hot Mando General. Quinlan keeps having vague daydreams of seducing someone to the side of the Light. He really leans into the bodice ripper fantasies of saving someone evil with the power of love! (And also the power of really good sex.)

Bant looks at Quin and Obi and wants to throw them both into the nearest pond because they're idiots, but on this topic they are the same flavor of idiot. She considers calling up Reeft and Garen to help her knock some sense into them.

Quinlan: Can I volunteer to go undercover to the Sith? The Council: No. Quinlan: ...what if I-- The Council: No.

Tholme tries to get Qui-Gon to commiserate over their Padawans getting obsessed with Hot Sith Boys, but Qui-Gon just finds the whole thing funny. He knows from the chats he has with Ben that Anakin feels so completely, utterly, incredibly awkward about all of this.

(Ben continues to hold to "Anakin brought this on himself.")

(Ben also “kidnaps” Qui-Gon a lot.)

Also, hey, at least Quinlan isn’t actually into hot Sith boys! He’s into hot Sith minions which is... probably a step up. At least Cody’s not a Sith himself!

It's a step in some direction but Tholme has no idea which one.

(Quinlan sees Cody in dress uniform once and just keeps the mental image for Ages. It’s in his dreams. Sometimes said dreams overflow to Tholme via Force Mind Magic and Quinlan wakes up to someone smacking his face with a pillow.)

Arguably, Quin's also a lot more romantic about his crush than Obi-Wan is, in this case. Quinlan: I want to save him... Obi-Wan: Hey, hey, cute boy. Look at me. Let’s bang.

Cody: There are currently two future Jedi generals having some form of absurd romantic fixation in my direction. I don't know how to feel about this. Rex: Bed them. Cody: ...I'm not saying that's not eventually an option, but one of them is the younger Kenobi, and I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that. Rex: Pat him on the head like a tooka and then bed his friend, it'll be funny.

I think the Quinlan thing and also general exasperation of leading an absolutely useless army can function pretty solidly as the basis for Cody, but I have another idea for Rex now.

Komari is currently brainwashed in a cult, yes? So.

I keep bouncing around back and forth on what to do with Rex, but part of me suddenly really likes the idea of, after Team Fake Sith finds and dissolves the cult (as one does), and takes Komari into custody (because she's dangerous and deeply unwell), Rex kind of ends up her touchstone to being a decent person. He’s not a morality chain, and it’s not really a redeemed-through-love thing, just This Is A Solid Dude who doesn't pity her or thinks she's irredeemable (however you choose to define such a thing), but actually relates to the kind of conditions living like that can involve, and just kind of...

I don’t know. I think Rex's arc in this AU could be very heavily grounded in something to the effect of "You're not the worst darksider I've met. You're not the only person who was in a cult. You're not even the only former Jedi I know that's committed awful, horrible crimes. My question is just this: What are you going to do moving forward?"

Later Anakin: Wait, who do we know that was in a cult? Rex: What did you think Kamino was?

(Rex isn't as chill as he'd like her to think, but he's trying, and she's fairly reliant on the Force to understand emotions, and is currently in nullifying cuffs, so he can bluff.)

Komari needs someone solid and dependable to rely on for at least conversation, and I think Rex needs to feel needed.

I’m not sure if it’d be romance or friendship, but I think there's a solid basis to work with, potentially.

Per Tia:

One thing about Rex and shipping is like. If you want to do Rexwalker again that's fine, but if you're worried about repetitiveness but still want to like. Ship him in a non-political-convenience way. Rexsoka here actually would be different than your other stuff.

I'm trying to figure out if I can make it work because Ahsoka thematically fits very much into a little sister shaped hole here? She feels younger than in other works, despite not actually being younger than she is in, say, Commander Buir. In those other fics, she has some time alone to function and prove herself independently of Anakin and Obi-Wan.

I usually pluck Ahsoka out at sixteen if I'm pulling her from TCW, so she's got most of her competence but hasn't gotten quite all the trauma yet. Commander Buir, in particular, also has baby-shaped Anakin for contrast.

That said, I can see a decent source of narrative conflict in her wanting to experiment with romance and all that, and Anakin trying to tell her she's too young.

A year into this whole time-travel mess, she wants to give the dating thing a shot, and it spirals into "You were only two years older than me when you got married!"

I think I could build a plot out of Ahsoka wanting to do these things, and Anakin as an audience insert not quite processing that she's old enough to make these decisions. If she's choosing to date Rex, whose age works out as being close to hers when one takes into account Kamino fuckery, and whom she trusts absolutely, it’s arguably extra weird for Anakin to be upset with it.

"Senator Amidala was five years older than you, and you married her when you were nineteen and had only really known her for a week! I can go on a date with a guy we both know is one of the most trustworthy people alive if I want, Skyguy!"

I can definitely see Ahsoka getting annoyed with Anakin being overbearing and controlling at some point before that unrelated to romance, too. It’s not exactly a new fault of his.

My god, just imagine someone snidely asking Anakin "where's your little shadow?" and Anakin, being Himself and also a Fake Sith, has an emotional breakdown about how Ahsoka yelled at him for micromanaging her and not trusting her to make her own decisions in life and so she got herself a multi-month solo mission from Ben that Anakin isn't allowed to know any details about, and--

It's another one of those "oh, you have PROBLEMS problems with your mental health" incidents for the Jedi to add to the file, because Anakin having emotionally charged rants about his issues at seemingly terrible times is how they get a lot of information.

Some of the rants are planned.

Many of them, actually.

They want the Jedi to know these things.

Just, well. Anakin.

He really is a little Like That.

On that note, I'm low-key imagining that Anakin gets put on mood stabilizers by the therapist in this context, and he's doing good! He's handling his issues! He's--been captured with Obi-Wan the Younger again and his medication was confiscated.

Anakin is... not great. He's a little out of practice managing his unmedicated self, and when adding withdrawal symptoms onto that... poor Anakin.

(Poor Obi-Wan.)

I think it would be best if Anakin makes a bunch of ominous blustery comments at their captors about how they won't like what's coming to them if they take his belongings (AKA the fanny pack that has his backup pills), and then Obi-Wan just gets to watch Anakin get more and more erratic, because like. Yes, Anakin is using the Force to compensate, but unfortunately he's mostly cut off, and the stress of the situation is pushing him away from depression and into the beginnings of a manic episode.

Anakin is aware of his issues to the point where he's mostly managing, and he keeps asking Obi-Wan "would it make sense for me to [slightly deranged, very impulsive action]," and Obi-Wan realizes he's being the morality sounding board for the Hot Sith because ??? reasons?????

Eventually, Anakin does flop back in bed and dramatically throws his arm over his eyes, and says he needs his meds back, he's absolutely going to lose it, and Obi-Wan tentatively asks what kind of medication. There are levels to worry about. Mild allergy medication is one thing, but heart medication that needs to be taken every four hours is another, you know? He wants to know how much panic is appropriate.

Anakin lets him know that it's Psychiatric In Nature. Obi-Wan suddenly realizes that he really, really, really doesn't want to know what a properly erratic, unmedicated Anakin is like.

(An unmedicated Anakin really isn't nearly as bad as Obi-Wan fears. Anakin's been dealing with this for a while, and knows what his issues are and some of how to deal with them. He'd need to be running on no sleep and higher levels of stress, or to have been drugged with something meant to increase his aggression, to really lose his shit and do something worthy of Vader. RotS levels of stress and sleep deprivation is required to pull RotS levels of manic paranoid delusion.)

Tia asked:

How long does it take the Jedi in general to catch on to how like. They have opportunities. But these Sith never seem to harm any Jedi. And it’s not just like, the past timeline parts of the disaster lineage. They probably get opportunities to hurt other Jedi. Ones that are less skilled at saber work. And more importantly ones that they don’t seem weirdly interested in."

I'm not sure, really. The Jedi don't spend as much time in the Outer Rim as they could, and that's where the Team operates, so actually running into them by accident is unlikely for anyone other than Shadows.

Fortunately, it's really easy to toy with Shadows with the excuse of "I want to see how long it takes before you Fall with us."

I do want like... okay. Here’s the mental image:

Qui-Gon calls them out on being Fake Sith pretty quickly, so Ben just sort of eyes him, dramatically, and orders out "Leave us" to all non-team people. The threat of torture is implied but not stated. He gestures with wine to keep in character. He definitely makes sure Young Obi-Wan is ushered out, so it's just five time travelers, Qui-Gon Jinn, and Ahsoka's immortal force birb.

"...so, what's the reason for the farce, Obi-Wan?" "How in all the hells did you figure it out so quickly?"

(Qui-Gon cheated a bit. He could feel the broken training bond that was never properly severed due to Traumatic Death Of A Master on Ben's end)

Ben didn't realize he'd feel it! Young Obi-Wan can't feel his older self or a training bond with Anakin or Ahsoka, so why could Qui-Gon?

IDK if there would be anything on the level of crying and hugging it out, but I think it would be very funny if, every time young Obi and Anakin are getting captured by pirates or something, Ben and Qui-Gon are just having a nice afternoon tea and checking their watches to see if their respective walking bundles of neuroses are done with their adventure yet.

The Council is So Done, because Qui-Gon continues to insist that they're Not That Bad, but every time anyone other than Qui-Gon brings up the friendship, Ben laughs and makes a comment about how absolutely gullible Master Jinn is.

Obi-Wan is skeptical of his own experiences with Anakin, at least, if only because he's skeptical about Anakin's everything.

"I don't know if Vader is telling me the truth. I don't know if he's telling himself the truth. I don't think he's a great source of information even when he thinks he's being honest."

Anakin could tell Obi-Wan the full and complete truth, and Obi-Wan would worriedly put a hand to his forehead and start doing tests for hallucinations and paranoid delusions. In his defense, this is a very reasonable assumption to make with an individual like Anakin. It's just also not accurate, this time. I don’t know if Anakin hallucinates in canon without a weird inciting incident like Force Nonsense or getting drugged by the enemy, but paranoid delusion is pretty much all of RotS.

"I’m your time-traveling padawan who’s pretending to be a Sith to catch some other Sith who’re going to start a galactic civil war and those Mandalorians you like are from a clone army based on a template of Jango Fett made to serve the Jedi (because that’s totally something he’d sign up for), and one of the Sith is your grandmaster but he doesn’t seem to have fallen yet, it’s probably fine," is hard to believe.

Honestly, even if he seemed stable before saying that, which he doesn’t, it’s all real far fetched. There's a lot going on and Obi-Wan wouldn't even begin to believe it without evidence.

I've had it in my head that he and Bant and Quinlan have been gossiping about the mess for months if not years about these idiots, and at one point it became common knowledge that Ben was a Kenobi, and Bant convinced them (since the two were among the most likely in the entire Order to encounter the Fake Sith) to get a DNA sample, probably hair or blood since that's easiest so they can figure out HOW these two are related, if they are, and then there's a whole big thing.

Bant: No, no, this must be contaminated, it's coming up as Obi-Wan! Are you sure you didn't accidentally grab some of your own hairs? I know it's a little long for most of your hair, but the braid-- Quinlan: Wait, they keep claiming stuff about cloning, right? Maybe someone's a clone? Check for artificial telomeres! Bant: ...okay, so, there aren't any artificial telomeres, but the ones from apparently-Ben are... a lot shorter... um... I don't know what to do with this. It's like I have two samples from the same person, twenty years apart. Quinlan: Obi-Wan, what's that face? Why are you-- Obi-Wan: Vader told me he was a time-traveler. I thought it was the fever talking, but...

That’s how he finds out that Ben is future-him before finding out about how he’s not evil!

"Master Jinn... I think... I think the Sith controlling the Outer Rim is me from the future." "Oh, you finally figured it out?" "I AM HAVING A CRISIS HERE."

Obi-Wan, after a few hours of dazed realization, runs screaming to Quinlan and Bant like 'GUYS GUYS THIS EXPLAINS WHY VADER KEPT SAYING IT WAS WEIRD AND THAT I LOOK LIKE HIS MASTER AND THAT IT WOULD BE LIKE DATING HIS DAD.'

You know, the important stuff.

I think Qui-Gon tells him that Ben isn't evil because, like, That Sure Is A Crisis Obi-Wan's Having. He could hold off for shits and giggles, sure, but Obi-Wan’s on the edge of something Really Concerning, mentally. Best help calm him down on at least one or two things.

Obi-Wan’s maybe still a little skeptical until he confronts them over it. Because their Sith act was real good and also like. Maybe Qui-Gon just wants to believe the best of his Padawan, y’know?

Quinlan runs into Ben before Obi-Wan does, after this whole mess, and gets to observe as money changes hands and people act like sore winners about bets made for When Does Obi-Wan Figure It Out.

Anakin was saying 'soon' because he really didn't think the fever-fueled rant would be discounted as easily as it was.

Cody was of the opinion that it would take at least a few more years since they're actually pretty damn good at this whole schtick.

Quinlan: Wow, he's... going to be really disappointed that you have such a low opinion of his intelligence. Cody, gesturing at Ben: Experience. Darth Ben: ಠ_ಠ

Cody just rattles off some of the Extremely Stupid Shit that Ben's done in their time working together.

Rex cheerily offers up "You didn't even realize General Skywalker was married, sir! And they weren't subtle!" "I knew they were together, I just didn--" "Everyone knew they were together, sir. Everyone."

(Rex had the lowest opinion of their deductive capabilities. He claims it would have taken until Baby Ahsoka showed up at the Jedi Temple.)

-Once Obi-Wan accepts that they're decent people after all- Obi-Wan: Wow, Anakin, you're real good at acting unhinged! Anakin: Haha. Yeah. Thanks?

[rikachureadsbooks]

I'd love to share! So oddly enough, I had all my annotations on post it notes instead of written on my books and I ended up typing them all out. I'll share them below :)

They are in order of book and page number. They'll be pretty slapdash and many will be missing context but I suppose I thought the page number as reference would be good enough 😅

(I would make this read more but I'm currently on mobile >.<)

Book 1: Scythe

53 - Anarchy?

53 - Technological Singularity

54 - How was it [creation of the scythedom] decided? Sounds like it was by the people. Democratically perhaps? [In hindsight, nar. The decision to leave the power of death to the humans was by a small group. In dissent, no less.]

54 - Conscience + consciousness, mortality. -> Thunderhead = science, logic, systems.’

57 - “Is anything really necessary?” Citra responded. {LOL}

58 - ‘The more troublesome offenders were tweaked with shock nanties in their blood, just powerful enough to deter any scoffing of the law.’ Citra’s uncle married his peace officer. Bruh. Bruhh.

59 - Scythe Faraday telling that unsavory he’d see him in 366 days. Gold. Heh.

64 - What a guy.

68 - All great questions. As a scythe you witness and enact perhaps the hardest part of post mortality life. If you have empathy that is? Or compassion at least. It could open a greater appreciation of life, ie through art, but as a scythe you still operate mostly outside of it. Solitary. Pensive, no worldly, familial, friendly attachments. What a role, truly.

70 - ‘...had been eliminated along with other unpleasant things, like disease and government.’ Heh. Nice. Same difference am I right?

71 - entire flight selected for gleaning me: -_- O.O

74 - uh oh. consequences of commandment 10 rearing its ugly head

101 - scythes being the sole purveyors of fear....hrm. too much power for humans.

110 - mortality being essential to humanity

114 - the sanctity of the law... and the wisdom to know when it must be broken

119 - I often wonder if the bright benefit of belief outweighed the darkness its abuse 

could bring. I often wonder too...

137 - Oldest trick in the book to anon accuse yourself of misdeeds so anyone moving forward who attacks him will be painted the cowardly anon accuser. no one will try in that case

138 - ‘power politics might have been a thing of the past elsewhere, but it was alive and seething in the Scythedom’ how very human

141 - THE WEAPONSMASTER JUST GLEANED THAT SALESWOMAN ON THE SPOT. BRUH. SAVAGE. BRUTAL. 

144 - ‘Will we all be renaissance children, skilled at every art and science, because we’ve had the time to master them? Or will boredom and slavish routine plague us even more than it does today, giving us less of a reason to live limitless lives? I dream of the former, but suspect the latter.’ damn Curie. I think I agree. So many safety nets. I would like the bare minimum in our world, but the TH really does coddle em

155 - The TH is perhaps their god in some ways. ‘which is worse-to be despised, or to be ignored?’

158 - damn. I mean yeah, but OOF

159 - ‘perhaps everything will change again’ this guy....

169 - a lovely conscience. a heavy burden.

184 - Huh... I like the cut of her gib.

190 - ‘it may not being you redemption, it might not even bring you peace, but it will keep you from despising yourself.’

192 - ‘Immortality has turned us all into cartoons’ Iconic line tbh

202 - Goddard...Egomaniac

211 - Any? All?

229 - ‘in time you’ll come to appreciate the silence and self-reliance that comes from its [TH] absence’

244 - ‘without the threat of suffering, we can’t experience true joy. the best we get is pleasantness

255 - even if rowan could make himself heard, he would never be understood

262 - journal of H.S. Prometheus.... a way to escape the system embedded.

270 - ‘Goddard promised his disciples anything a human heart could desire, in exchange for the complete abdication of one’s conscience.’ remniscient of capitalist era trade offs. Bezos.

294 - her thoughts, ponderings, philosophy. beautiful and intriguing. would the TH grieve them? as a child losing a parent or a parent who could not save a petulant child from its own poor choices?

295 - WHO DAT.

303 - Tyger a ward of the TH. They can do that? :o

306 - OH SHIT. Goddard was Xenocrates’ apprentice

334 - TH says what it sees concerns it.

340 - ‘to this day i still can’t understand why’ by choosing not to glean a woman who wanted it...and eventually thanked her for not. perhaps it simply felt wrong to hold such power in your hands. power that what people once called gods had. or nature. unnatural to become nature in that way.

345 - HOLY SHIT. Faraday took Curie on as an apprentice.

347 - ‘I think all woman are cursed with a streak of unrelenting foolishness, and all young men are cursed with a streak of absolute stupidity.’

368 - YOU. FARADAY. HE ALIVE.

372 - T~T reunited and it feels so good

372 - ‘I love the way it rains here. It reminds me that some forces of nature can never be entirely subdued. They are eternal, which is a far better thing to be than immortal.’ beautiful, ugh, the distinction

373 - ‘The stagnation that I so fervently glean on a daily basis seems an epidemic that only grows. There are times I feel I am fighting a losing battle against an old-fashioned apocalypse of the living dead.’ what a raw line.

387 - RIP T~T

388 - ‘My greatest joy for humanity is not for peace of comfort or joy. It is that we all still die a little inside every time we witness the death of another. For only the pain of empathy will keep us human. There’s no version of God that can help us if we ever lose that. - H.S. Faraday’

Book 2 - Thunderhead

3 - Foreshadowing? in hindsight, yeh lol

14 - that’s so cute tbh

15 - TH can’t directly intervene. but can choose not to

23 - lol. loophole bitches. sassy lil TH. ‘that is not the TH’s problem.’

27 - enough time for bucket lists + goodbyes. closure. true closure on your own terms.... beautiful. if only they all could have gleaned this way.

29 - Gottem! Anastasia saying for some, death was NOT instantaneous

31 - I’m inclined to agree about the indignity of having your death chosen for you

35 - ‘This is what the scythedom was incapable of understanding. They were so focused on the act of killing, they couldn’t comprehend what went into the act of dying.’ beautifully put, truly.

37 - TH is such a cool character

51 - stagnant, in your own way.

56 - that makes a lot of sense. and is so sad holy shit. the isolation of new traumatizing experiences that old friends just can’t understand. like war, or scythedom.

56 - ‘Tyger might have thought of himself as a free spirit, but he wasn’t at all. He just defined the dimensions of his own cage.’ damn. what a line

62 - WHAT. how?

65 - ...for now...?

66 - serial parents, love the idea of having families, but loathed raising them. YEESH.

76 - damn dude... it is sad to live and die without knowing the truth of one’s existence...only sad to us however.

87 - what is normal will often be taken for granted.

100 - compassion even in this. unsavories.

115 - ‘the illusion of purpose is critical to a well-adjusted population.’

123 - omfg. smort.

158 - ‘therefore, although I do not require devotion, am I not deserving of it?’

163 - :o ... D: they gleaned the people she was going to glean later!! rude!! unfair!!!

169 - omfg. posers. ‘They conformed so closely to their culture of non-conformity that there was a uniformity to them, defeating the whole purpose.’

176 - ‘Permission is the bloated corpse of freedom’ damn dude. RAW line.

188 - scaring a near omnipotent A.I.....

191 - ‘The simple pleasure of being good at what you do is very different from finding joy in the taking of life. ... Guard your conscience, Anastasia, and never let it wilt. It is a scythe’s most valuable possession.’

203 - hehe Rowan said Xenocrates deserves a spanking. it true.

209 - sadge. but fascinating

212 - WHAT. PLOT TWIST. AGENT TRAXLER NOOOOO.

213 - you had a point but damn. ‘Were I to begin doling out death, I would be the very monster that mortal man feared A.I. would become. To choose those who live and those who die would leave me both feared and adored, like emperor-gods of old. No, I decided. Let humankind be the saviors and the silencers. Let them be the heroes. Let them be the monsters. And so, I have no one but myself to blame when the scythedom befouls the things I have worked for.’

222 - wow. sadge. the TH uses rain for tears.

227 - :(

231 - bro the TH is so cute tho. 

255 - ‘Man creates God, who then creates man. Is that not the perfect circle of life? But then, if that turns out to be the case, who is created in whose image?’

259 - scythes having no natural predators.... scary

288 - two perfect acts. creation of life and life’s taking.

300 - i have no mouth but I must scream

303 - obeying law is not always just. breaking law is not always wrong.

309 - ‘vast difference between things TH can do and things it chooses to do

346 - um. uh oh. ‘all I can do is watch unblinkingly as my beloved humankind slowly weaves the rope it will use to hang itself.’

352 - Curie’s high blade speech!!

355 - ‘The truth of that hit home for all of them just as thoroughly as a raven at the chamber door.’

364 - she finally sees herself as Scythe Anastasia! yayy

365 - ‘am I not superior to nature?’ dear me TH

382 - Goddard the bastard! Gleaning engineers that would behoove space travel!!

393 - ‘Yes, the mindless can be pleasant.’ lmfaoooo

395 - TH gave Greyson a sign!! but his eyes were closed!!!! widestpeepoestsaddest

418 - ‘We are forever impaled upon our own wisdom’ love that line

488 - o shit bye Xenocrates. You were not great but not the worst.

489 - o shit TH is done with humanity. oop

Book 3 - The Toll

28 - INTRO OF JERICO, MY BELOVED <3 A woman beneath the sun and the stars. A man under the cover of clouds.

102 - Big sadge! “where are you my dear Marie?’ T-T

147 - Greyson can’t take advantage of his position. Doesn’t want to be a hypocrite. what a little paragon of goodness. pats head

164 - A whole industry for designing near impenetrable sanctums! cool. wish I could do that...oddly enough

166 - A construct does not make new memories. Ayn and her tortured actions and regrets... o u miss him do ya? maybe u should have thought about that before u repurposed his body!!

169 - Ayn made a mistake and regrets it. poop head.

171 - iteration who? TH iteration for sure but hmm

182 - ‘One could say that he has cast himself as Atlas. Which means the slightest shrug can shake the world.’

183 - change of definition bias. uh oh.

184 - isn’t attractiveness a factor of genetics? u can probably get surgery but like still??? idk

186 - ‘Greatness is overrated.’ u tell em TH

201 - Scythe trading cards...sounds about right.

211 - people started staying away from theaters and clubs.... killing culture and social gatherings... and generating isolation. Well that's paralleled in the most horrifying way. ....USA.USA. T-T

218 - ‘No one’s memories are true.’

237 - Mary Pickford beat the fuck down. fallen in but tired and ...given up

245 - When?? not if?? when?? mobilize the tonists??

258 - TH silene speaking volumes!! can’t talk about scythe stuff! oho!!

269 - Greyson legit said work for me to the assassin sent after him. bad. ass.

306 - ROWAN SAYING THANKS I LOVE YOU TOO. PLZ. baby boy this aint the time

369 - most ppl not taking a position and disappearing into the pleasantries of their lives.... too reeeallllll

406 - scythe Da Vinci say what? ahem?

414 - primal, predatory lust for the crushing of life.... dear me

417 - he’d need to lead them into the darkness before he could lead them into the light..... hrm

425 - ‘Perhaps it was vanity on her part, but the last thing she wanted was to be immortalized by an artist who was ‘less mediocre than most.’ LMAOOO same girl

429 - TH ‘Correction must be about lifting one up from one’s poor choices and prior deeds. As long as remorse is sincere, and one is willing to make recompense, there is no purpose to suffering.’

439 - ‘People are vessels,’ Jeri, ‘They hold whatever’s poured into them.’

460 - GODDARD COMMANDED THE SPACE GLEANING AAAA

501 - TH believes in a sort of reincarnation. Energy/spirit wise. damn

502 - ‘I’m frightened.’ ‘That is not a bad thing. It is the nature of life to fear its own end. This is how we know that we are truly alive.’

506 - MENDOZA ARMED THE SIBILANTS IN SUBSAHARA. FUCKO.

508 - the iteration needs to connect to biologic experience!! 

524 - ‘If we gleaned every asshole, there’d be virtually no one left.’ rip Scythe Volta

539 - T~T Reunited againnnnn noooo my feeeeeels SCYTHE FARADAYYYYY AND ANASTASIAAAA at last!!! omfg he called her Citra. I am emOTIONAL

543 - Cirrus! the cloud that rises above the storm! sick

548 - we could have had it allllll

550 - Cirrus was the child of Greyson, Jeri, and the TH. woooow.

565 - ‘I am unwavering, with so many things in flux, there’s got to be someone who stands firm.’ damn ok Astrid.

568 - Rowan and Citra!!! REUNITED AND IT FEELS SO GOOOOD. ;~;

569 - Citra is back! Casting off Anastasia! WOO!

578 - :O Greyson has feelings for Jeriiiiii AAAAA MY SHIP. my captain!!

580 - ‘Old habits die hard.’ ....old man please. good pun though

585 - he found another wild heart, i’m sobbing don’t mind meeee

586 - damn. ol’ Sykora is finally useful

590 - CRIES. HE DIDN’T GET A FINAL GOODBYE. it hurts o it hurts.

615 - 77% chance to live to 100. 60% to 200. 46% to 300. p good i think. at that point you could get quite weary of life

617 - sobbing againnn Greyson saying TH is unsavory to him. warranted and oh so sadddd.

618 - TH and Greyson both made the right choice. sob sob sob

620 - she brought that bitch back ohymgod. Rand you ho. now he has Goddard’s face. ...but Tyger’s body and mind so I guess. Hm. At least that stupid bish is gone.

625 - A CENTURY TO DEAL WITH HIS CRIMES AND MISTAKES AND RECKON WITH THEM AND FIND PEACE IN HIMSELF AND THAT MEANS HE CAN BE HEALED WHEN THEY FINALLY GET TO BE TOGETHER OKAY OKAY I'M SOBBING FR NOW.

Thunderhead by Neal Shusterman ~ annotation tour

mostly ones near the start to avoid giving spoilers

i got it signed when i met him last year so obviously i have to show that off