#that somehow get held as takes of superior fans

[dotthings]

lolol the way spn standom treats this canon it supposedly loves so much is a crisis every single day and I know the show is over so people think it’s not supposed to matter the way it once did but it matters. I’m not going to just sit here while that source text gets mangled in an endless loop by most of what’s left of spn “fandom.” It is not only record breaking as the longest running genre tv series on US broadcast history (or streaming too), it’s among the greatest genre series in US tv history. Flaws and all. It is. I am just going to say it. It deserves better than to be relegated to the chronic ~edgy hot take that it’s the worst show ever and people shouldn’t like it. GTFO if you hate it so much.

* the “everything about this sucks after S3 mentality” or “everything about this sucks since Kripke left” needs to get thrown into a hole. These aren’t spn fans. They were once upon a time probably but no longer are and they need to leave.

* the parasocialized lenses warping the canon takes, where people have latched onto any of J2M to the point where they’ve allowed it to govern how they perceive the entire show and characters instead of seeing the story as a story and the characters as they actually are in canon and where they literally think spn sprang fully formed out of J2M’s brains and writers don’t exist. My kingdom for some media literacy.

* narrow-minded warped lenses that keep thumping on like evangelists about how the show is only about the brothers and the entire rich narrative gets flushed down the toilet by these so-called bestest truest stans ever. They do not pay attention to this canon, they do not appreciate this canon, they’re fixated on a broship, and that’s the extent of their ability to comprehend the actual source text of a show they are supposedly such huge fans of. Also years of marketing is also guilty on this. Guilty!! J’accuse, marketing. Marketing is a simplistic packaged gloss and does not reflect the richness within. Some of the marketing reflects more of that richness, but mostly the standard branding line “about two brothers” gets slapped on it and reality is a whole lot more to it. People don’t really use critical thinking or media literacy to understand that’s just the backbone construct of it and not a reflection of all the actual flesh.

[t0rturedangel]

hii :) could i request a drabble/thoughts about rick being ur possessive bf? i just know he gets jealous easilyyy from other rick's trying to steal u lol.

female reader it's ok :) thx thx

𝟎𝟎𝟏. 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘫𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘺 𝘩𝘪𝘵𝘴

⠀⠀⠀: ᯓ 𝟎𝟎𝟐.⠀ C-137 RICK SANCHEZ X READER

› 〉 𝟎𝟎𝟑. SYNOPSIS, Rick Sanchez is the smartest man in the universe- there is no way he can get jealous.... but he does.

› 〉 𝟎𝟎𝟒. WARNINGS, Rick Sanchez, maybe a bit ooc, threats / threats of violence, ect

› 〉 𝟎𝟎𝟓. AUTHOR'S NOTES, HOLY! Yay I'm super happy to be doing a rick and morty request- plssssss request more rick and morty!!.

🜸 ㅤ▎▍ㅤRICK likes to think that he's above getting jealous, but he's really not. Don't get me wrong he doesn't get jealous of everyone- he knows that no one can be better than him when it comes to being with you, he's not insecure.

🜸 ㅤ▎▍ㅤBUTTTT when it comes to people the two of you know and are decently close to such as BIRDPERSON or SQUANCHY, or hell even MEMORY RICK he starts to feel a little jealous- subconsciously keeping a cautious eye on you and who ever you're talking to even though he knows his friends are better than that he still can't help but sta on guard.

🜸 ㅤ▎▍ㅤThe jealousy only emphasizes whenever another RICK begins to interact with you, seeing as [name]s are rare in the multiverse, many ricks are / would be prone to want to take you away from him- something that he is not a fan of. Mostly because he loves you (albeit never admitting it to anyone) partly because he likes to see all the other ricks stare at him dumbfounded because he managed to bag you.

While walking through the citadel, you had managed to notice how most- if not ALL- of the Ricks were staring at you, their eyes wide and mouths agape, pupils focused on you and your Rick for an uncomfortable amount of time, “Rick?” you called out- voice just above a whisper, it felt wrong to speak any louder, “Hm?” was the response you got from the rick beside you- his hands shoved into his pockets as he scanned the area, eyes almost narrowing at every other version of himself that looked your way yet also you couldn't help but notice the shit eating grin that he held- it was almost as if he had won something over the others. “why is everyone staring at us?” you frowned, uncomfortable with the amount of eyes that followed your every step, every move like hawks observing oblivious prey. With a sigh, your Rick took of one his hands out from his pockets and placed it on your shoulder, patting it ever so slightly before flipping the Ricks and Morty's off, successfully earning angry groans and 'fuck you's “Dont worry, they're just shocked I have someone as hot as you and they dont, fuckin' losers”.

🜸 ㅤ▎▍ㅤAlso RICK is amazing at masking his jealousy as annoyance or anger- typically playing it off as someone staring at him for too long when in reality it was because someone was getting to close to you. He comes up with the quickest excuses too and somehow they're believable.

You stared at your Rick, biting your bottom lip nervously as the screams of an alien alongside the familiar sounds of an ambulance grew distant every second. “Honey...” you began, worried as to why your boyfriend would suddenly shoot a random person while you were busy chatting with one of the Ricks you two had met before. “The fucker was starting at me weird- almost like it wanted to fight me” your Rick casually shrugged, answering a question you had yet to ask “Still... You--” “Shouldn't have shot him, yes yes I know- you're so morally superior to me” he simply rolled his eyes, earning a small shake of your head before you returned to your conversation with the other Rick- who suddenly became uncomfortable with continuing whatever you two were talking about previously- instead excusing himself and leaving you and your Rick behind. “huh... That's weird”

🜸 ㅤ▎▍ㅤWhenever you do put two and two together, realising RICK is jealous, you have a fucking field day- constantly teasing him about it at every chance you get.

🜸 ㅤ▎▍ㅤWhenever the both of you go out to party and get high, RICK makes sure you're always in his sight or constantly checking that the tracker he gave you (implanted in you)- after all a fittie like you is bound to get hit on constantly and he will not allow it.

🜸 ㅤ▎▍ㅤYou know how when RICK drinks he gets emotional? Yeah that also happens with jealousy, he gets reallly jealous when he's drunk asf. This mostly causing him to cling ont you and cuss everyone out, and when you two get a chance to be alone- he'd probably cry while telling you he's not getting emotional and how everyone else are dumb assholes who don't know jack shit and don't see the value in people like you and him.

🜸 ㅤ▎▍ㅤ It's a rollercoaster with Rick. I hope you don't mind.

[thechanglingchronicles]

Okay okay fine

We’ll talk about Scott (1/18 traffic analysis)

I’m gonna start by saying if you’re a die hard Scott fan you probably won’t like this, I’m not the biggest fan of his. Please go look at my other posts or just ignore this.

I’m starting a new thing where I just don’t want to ruin something for someone but I am a little hater.

I’m also so incredibly biased and not in his favor.

Also just about characters!!

So with that out of the way……

Scott!!

Honestly I think people mischaracterize him a lot. Which who cares do whatever you want forever but for the sake of this you’re wrong <3

Let’s start with 3rd life!

I don’t like how he treats Jimmy. I’m so sorry flower husband fans I totally get the appeal!! It’s like yeah Jimmy is a goof and he’s bad at stuff but like Scott doesn’t think Jimmy can do anything right. He berates him and makes fun of him to other people. He’s nice to him only for the benefit of himself, so he won’t drag down their team.

He expects his death.

Isn’t that tragic? He makes a widow’s alliance like he can’t wait for him to die. Like it’s expected. Jimmy’s not cursed yet. It’s not likely he’s going to win or anything but you can’t believe in him at all? You have zero faith he can live past you?

It’s so demeaning. It comes across as him thinking he’s better than Jimmy and I think he does believe that.

Of course in the end Scott seems pretty heart broken but the reason he doesn’t go through with his new alliance is because Cleo died.

Then we have the home scene at the end which is sweet but doesn’t make Scott any less annoying to me.

Scott never gets overcome with bloodlust which is interesting because of how many kills he has. That’s all him, no revenge, very little red/boogy bloodlust, he kills because he can.

What is the bloodlust just not strong enough for you? Too good for that too?

Okay he teams up with Pearl in last life because he hopes she will give him a life. Just for teaming up with him? And she does of course.

At least Ren had something to offer undying loyalty and willingness to die for Lizzie.

Like that’s a deal worth taking.

Pearl at least is like you gotta prove your worth somehow?

Then again he’s trying to team up with Cleo like real shit I guess, I would too. it just feels shity to me. If I was teamed with Scott I’d question whether or not he really cared about me at all.

He just comes off as selfish in any situation he can. I should probably give him a little credit, he is in a death game.

It’s the way people portray him as this guy who’s very morally superior and doesn’t play dirty.

But he’s ALWAYS playing dirty.

He’s constantly manipulating everyone around him.

He’s such an asshole to me idk

He’s telling Scar that they’re friends and allies but he never does anything for Scar or spend any time with him. Ditching him when Cleo tries to stay aligned with him after they get a life from him.

He very easily lies to whoever he wants to and gets away with it. His actions never catch up to him. He’s never held accountable and he’s constantly being rewarded for lying and manipulating the people around him.

Anyway the start of my hated journey is double life because he’s the worst in this.

I don’t understand why Cleo and Scott are so butt hurt about not finding their soulmates, it was funny though so I’m not upset about that.

When Pearl comes and finds him, he expects her to grovel like Martyn does. They didn’t really do anything wrong though? They were both properly geared up and it’s not like they were the only people trying to get recourses?

It’s nonsensical after listening to their explanation to still be upset, but they don’t listen or hear them out they just want to be begged for forgiveness.

Pearl of course was not going to do that and she of course is not innocent and antagonized him after that.

He’s not forgiven by me for what he did to Pearl for letting her win. She should have killed him.

That is not Scott’s only sin, what kinda douche builds a ranch specifically so you can make one better than your friends? The ranch by the way was also created to break up other peoples relationships while gaslighting them about that very fact.

Cleo and Scott spend all of double life trying to manipulate the different soul bounds because they are unhappy in their own.

Scott’s defining characteristic is being petty.

Limited life we have all the sacrifices he does, overdone at this point.

He’s so cocky. I feel like people miss that. He antagonizes and tries to get people to want to kill him. Which is how Scott has killed Joel so many times.

Scott is annoying so Joel will want to kill him but he keeps getting him.

In limited life specifically it’s so jabansksjsjsj

Because Joel is just trying to stay in the game longer he’s getting desperate and a little deranged and Scott just keeps killing him. I don’t how many kills but it was over kill.

Ugh and how he acts around Jimmy, like respect his boundaries. MAYBE theirs a good reason he doesn’t want to be around you, FREAK.

Keep the stupid pufferfish to yourself he’s over you!!

I get the ick or whatever

Ahem

Then he lets Martyn kill him for time and then the win and like where’s the drama???

Scott frfr would had another basic bitch ending like thank you Martyn for being the one interesting guy here.

Secret life

All of his actions became unforgivable when he didn’t let western duo team up, genuinely wanted to strangle him.

God again with the thinking you have some authority with what Jimmy does and thinking you know better than these grown people.

MAYBE some people are here for a good time, a loyal time, a fun time! Not a long time, but YOU wouldn’t know anything about that.

I appreciate the growth this time the final self sacrifice kill did have drama, but it was mostly Gem sounding genuinely devastated about killing him. (Idk know why that’s devastating I’m still upset about Jimmy and Scar not teaming)

I honestly don’t remember anything about real life really don’t count any of that as canon besides Cleo being a winner and Joel getting motion sickness really easy.

My hatred might actually be mostly the Jimmy and Scar thing and the fandoms interpretation.

I feel like he’s either worse than you think or just as bad but in a different way???

Kill the twink in your head.

[superbrieflightstudentlove]

The destruction and disrespect of Luke in the Disney "Canon"

Hello, any Original EU/"Legends" Star Wars fans here? I wanted to share some of my opinions about the current Disney Canon not only in terms of the movies, but also their comics and novels too. So let's start with my biggest gripe - the handling of Luke Skywalker, once the main hero of the beloved franchise.

We already know that Disney hates Luke Skywalker for the crime of being a "white, heterosexual guy" aka not diverse enough for modern woke politics. We all know how they handled him in the "Sequel Trilogy", the less said about that, the better. Their novels also try very hard to throw as much shade (and many times outright hate and contemp) at him as they could and portray his twin sister Leia as the superior one in every way, whether it's Force potential, mental resilience, emotional control or even moral compass.

Their comics from what I heard tend to be somewhat kinder to him, to a point, but even then some writers are just itching to portray him as lame and as much of a failure as possible. One such instance that pissed me off was when I heard that in one of the comics taking place after "Empire Strikes Back", Luke encounters another Force sensitive, a young woman who is also an aspiring Jedi, who somehow manages to get into Luke's mind deep enough to see the nemory of Darth Vader telling him that he is Luke's father. Immediately afterwards, she manages to trap Luke inside a nearby hole and use her Force Powers to fill it with water. Luke somehow forgot how to use his own Force Powers (even after being trained by Yoda himself for months and enough to impress even his father Darth Vader during their battle at Bespin, even though it was clear that Luke was still no match for him by that point, Luke's progress was still big enough to leave an impression on Vader), and literally drowns there. Yes, you read that correctly. Luke doesn't just almost die, he actually temporarily dies for real, before Artoo zips the Force Sensitive gal unconscious and resustitiates Luke back to life. Now I don't know who this Force Sensitive girl was, it's possible that she might have been at least partially trained Padawan during the Clone Wars, who somewhow avoided being slaughtered during Order 66 like Reva, but it seems quite unlikely. From what I heard, I got the impression that she was still young around the timeline of the "Original Trilogy", around Luke's age, so if she was raised in the Temple of the Old Order, she must have been still youngling, just like Reva was. So how come Luke, at this point in his training, was completely unable to defend himself against someone who is in most likelihood just a beginner, while he should be just as advanced if not more so considering by whom he was trained and that not that long from now, he is going to go toe to toe with Vader himself?

Now we know that Disney tried to portray Luke as average, or even below average, so no Jedi Prodigy here, despite being the son of the literal Chosen One and according to George Lucas inheriting the same Force Potential as his father, but they still have to fit this somehow with the original movies, yet I find it hard to believe that if Luke was this much of a weakling, he would be able to stand against Vader in the "Return of the Jedi". Even if you say that Vader was just that emotionally conflicted and torned apart by having to fight his own son, so he held massively back, it still doesn't explain why would Emperor Palpatine even agree to Vader's proposition to turn Luke to the Dark Side and make him one of his apprentices. What would be the point? He needs a strong replacement for Vader, considering he is paranoid that his "old friend" is getting some rebellious ideas into overthrowing him, and if Luke can't provide a reasonable alternative, why just not destroy the young man outright and be done with it? It's honestly strange. I know that Disney stated that Vader never lost his potential even after Mustafar unlike in the original EU and Lucas' vision for the OT and PT movies, so it might make perfect sense for Vader to be naturally much stronger than Luke and that he was always just going easy on him and that's why Luke managed to get the upper hand on the Death Star, if they didn't want to keep the fact that Luke inherited his father's full potential from the old EU, but they also made their version of Vader not caring about Luke nowhere near as much as the old one did. He even actively attempts to kill Luke after Bespin in one of his comics. This is after he knows this is his son, the only thing of his beloved wife left in the world. In fact they made Vader's redemption almost entirely about Padmé, rather than Luke in his own right. It's after Darth Vader investigates his wife's death and sees a video of her saying on her deathbed that there is still good in him, that brings his old self to the surface, not the fact he finally found out he has a son that he presumed was dead for two decades because of his actions. And after the Emperor whoops Vader's ass again, he forgets even about his wife's words on her deathbed, and actively tries to murder their child. Lovely. But of course when it comes to Padme's identical Handmaidens, especially Sabé who looks most like her, he stops his hand. Even when he was still Anakin, they made him even more obsessed with her than he already was in the PT or anywhere in the old EU material and that says a lot. In one of their books he even thinks about how for Padmé he would burn the whole galaxy down, sacrifice everything and everyone else dear to him, including their own unborn child. And I swear that I saw some people on Tumblr sharing excerpts of this, swooning how romantic this is.

On one of their next encounters, he gets turned on on Luke's fear of him and says something along the lines of only sparing him because his Master ordered him to. Heck even Palpatine seems to bizarelly care about Luke more than Vader does, when he is shown worrying that Vader might kill Luke despite the fact that it was originally Vader who convinced Palpatine in "Empire Strikes Back" to spare him, declaring him as "just a boy". So why the sudden going easy on my clearly incompetent weakling of a son in the final movie? Siths despise weakness! What is the point of luring Luke to the Dark Side if he is always going to be just a slightly above average Force user, even with proper training? Remember Vader believed in the second movie that Luke's potential in the Force is big enough to finally make a difference in his fight against Palpatine in order to overthrow him! This is after Vader beats the absolute shit out of Luke on Bespin, yet still believes his son has enough of a potential to be a serious threat against the Emperor once fully trained. This might be just a wishful thinking on Vader's part, but the fact that Palpatine agreed to his proposal to turn Luke speaks volumes about his talent and potential in the Force. It's clearly not just a father's sentimentality or nostalgic feelings involved.

What is even more insulting is, they made Luke to be beaten up pretty badly by a random Imperial Guard when he surrendered to Vader on Endor. This is shortly before their meeting, yet in the movie, Luke appears perfectly healthy and without any bruises or injuries when he faced his father for a private little chit chat before he is brought to Palpatine. Why did Luke, at this point a very skilled Force User, let himself be beaten without any resistance? Alright, I understand he was trying to lay low for his plan to work and not get himself killed when he is unarmed and outnumbered, but why is there no physical evidence of it in the movie itself? What is the point of even including it in the first place then?

And don't get me started on making Sabé try to kill Luke too after she finds out whose son he is. She was one of the closest, if not the closest companions and dear friends of his mother. It is even implied that she was in love with Padmé, however unreciprocated it was. Now the weirdness of being sexually and romantically attracted to someone almost identical to you aside, she has sworn a solem vow to protect her Queen with everything she has got, even laying down her life for her if need be, which she stated she is perfectly happy to do directly to Padmé's face no less. After her death, she, alongside every other Handmaiden, vowed to get revenge for their Queen's death and Anakin's death too (they saw both of them as heroes and didn't know that Anakin became Vader. To them Vader was the one who killed them). They even created an organisation within the Rebel Forces called Amidalans for this purpose.

Now, it's true that at first Sabé was forced to work with Vader against her will and wanted to kill him, but after she discovered his true identity as Anakin Skywalker, she began to view him in a different light and started to cooperate willingly. She agreed to help him overthrow the Emperor and to crown him instead. She starts to think how ineffective the Republic was and how the Empire in the right hands would be a much better system of governance. How she came to the conclusion that exchanging one genocidical maniac for yet another one is a good thing, is anyone's guess but here we go. Funnily enough, she even thinks that she (Sabé) is the one who can redeem him and bring him back to the light based on Padmé's words that there is still good in Vader.

After Vader grows tired of her and kicks her out of his servises, she develops an ingenious plan to test Luke on whether he is susceptible into following his father's footsteps, prepared to kill him if he shows any signs of anger, by literally ambushing him, shooting at him relentlessly and threatening one of his allies at gunpoint. Unbelievable. This absolutely hypocritical ass even dares to call him a Sith to his face when he is just defending himself after he crushes her sniper, which you know, she was just using to shoot at him. Why she thinks she has any moral highround here to play a judge, jury and executioner over a life of someone who did nothing to warrant it, just because he happenes to share DNA with someone is beyond me, especially since not so long ago, she was happily serving Vader herself and even considered him a viable option for a galactic ruler. What's funny, is that the other Handmaidens even pointed out how by joining Vader and the Empire, she is going against everything Padmé stood for and if she was still alive, she wouldn't approve of Sabé's actions in the slightest. She even chose Vader over the rest of the Handmaidens at some point, yet she has the gall to play a morally superior being and judging her Queen's child's character while she herself is morally compromised and far from being a saint, by playing sick, twisted mind games with Luke with the intention to hurt him and potentionally kill him for the crime of being related to the same man she was fine working for not so long ago.

Yes, Luke might be Vader's son, but he is also Padmé's son, and as far as Sabé knows, her only child (she doesn't know about Leia). Does that mean nothing to her? Why be willing to sympathize with your Queen's genocidical, mass murdering, child killing hubby (she knows that he was the one who marched on the Jedi Temple and killed everyone inside, including the younglings) and wanting to make him the absolute ruler of the known universe based on nothing but the words of a dying woman you once served when he has shown absolutely no indication that he deserves it, just the opposite in fact, but not be willing to extent the same courtesy to your Queen's innocent child that has yet to do anything bad. In fact, she knows that Luke is a War Hero who works for the Rebellion and destroyed the first Death Star, so you would assume that he is far more deserving of her loyalty and protection than Vader ever was.

What is happening here? How could Disney lost the plot so much? This is such an inconsistent, illogical mess. All the characters are massacred beyond reason.

But what do you think? Let me know in the comments.

[yubiesaysalot]

The Realest Gojo Satoru Headcanons

Pfft, think he's a total dreamboat? Nah. This is what he's really like. (affectionately) (Slight NSFW, like blink and you'll miss it) ***

He’s 100% the type of guy who would deepthroat a banana or hotdog or popsicle or something at any chance. And the best part? He's really, really good at it. Like, doesn't even gag kinda good. Everyone can only stare in amazement and wonder if it’s only a bit, or if he already has…prior experience. (He so, obviously, 100% does.)

If someone held a Secret Santa thingy for work, he probably would just forget about it. (If you were the person he was Santa for, considering you could somehow convince him to do it, he would just give you a greasy hundred yen bill and say something like, “Buy yourself something nice”.) 

The great Gojo Satoru’s hair is so crusty. How else does it stay up like that when he’s wearing a blindfold? Gravity just doesn’t do it for him. He may insist it’s just excess cursed energy flowing through his hair because his blindfold stops and directs the flow of cursed energy elsewhere so that Six Eyes doesn’t work, but don’t believe him. That boy uses so much hair spray. In fact, due to the hairspray and scalp sweat melding together, knocking on his hair with a fist at, like, 2pm in the afternoon will feel like knocking on rock. 

In fact, it is so crusty that if you take a bite out of it, a chunk will fall into your mouth easily with a potato-chip-crunch. (Eating Gojo’s hair ASMR?) Running a hand through his hair will result in getting poked. 

On another note on his hair though, when it’s not hairspray crusted, that man just loves haircare. He’s got a collection of different bottles of shampoo and more of conditioner. And a scalp brush. And dry conditioner. (“It’s a lot to take care of my hair to be this beautiful, y’know?”) 

Every time he needs to remember a letter of the alphabet (see: alphabetical ordering), he sings the ABC song. Softly or loudly. Did he forget what number P is in the alphabet? Is he just messing? Who knows?

He’s 100000000% the type of guy to mix up his student’s names. (“Meg—Noba—Yugi!”) It’s kinda sad. 

He's played Palworld and though he picks a fight with anyone who dares claim Pokemon is eternally superior to Digimon, even Gojo Satoru can agree that Pokemon but what if they have guns?? is peak.

He has an eyelash curler and wears white mascara sometimes. 

As a kid, he’s always wanted a little sister. Maybe because he wants to be a siscon. But anyway, if you ask him, he’ll talk about all he wants to do with a little sister (braiding hair, singing together, fighting off boyfriends, helping with Girl Scout cookie sales, fighting the patriarchy, etc)

Still laughs at potty humor. Just the word 'penis' will set him off. 'Haha, genitalia funny' at it's finest.

He's probably the type to spoil endings of shows and manga and stuff just to cause misery. Possible savagery. He reads the last chapter of the latest volume of a manga and spoils it.

A huge fan of Doki Doki Literature Club. He tells all his friends that it's some cute dating sim and that they should tooooootally play it. He thinks they'll all best girls, but Natsuki is the bestest of them all. Gojo totally, 100,000% cried when Sayuri.

In a Modern!AU without jujutsu witchcraftery, he seems like he'd major in philosophy.

[only-surviving-drfan]

https://www.tumblr.com/only-surviving-drfan/762315332470898688/okay-does-anyone-want-my-gt-danganronp?source=share

Yes, I know nothing about it besides random death compilations but pop off

Okay, so I'm going to do my headcanons for the main three antagonists if they were either giant or tiny. I’ll also provide small explanations of their characters since I've realized that most of the people who read this are probably more G/T fans than DR fans.

Byakuya Togami

(A self-entitled rich boy with a huge ego and superiority complex)

If he were tiny:

● Demands respect from everyone, giants and tinies.

● HATES being picked up (it makes him feel/look vulnerable/weak).

● Criticizes other tinies for being scared of giants.

● Will absolutely insult and degrade giants if he wants to.

● Refuses to be helped by giants to do ANYTHING.

● Very good at crafting things like weapons, clothes, and necessities.

● Still tends to surround himself with weaker tinies/giants so he’ll look better.

● Gets more shy/weak-willed giants to do things for him since he likes commanding them around.

● Makes a point to never show any amount of fear in the presence of a giant.

● Would complain extremely loudly if handled poorly or recklessly.

● Will absolutely NOT tolerate being put into someone's pocket.

If he were a giant:

● Expects to be treated like royalty by everyone, especially tinies.

● Often utilizes his size to intimidate tinies.

● If he had to take care of a tiny, he’d begrudgingly make sure they were well taken care of (e.g., receive basic necessities) purely because if they weren’t, it could damage his own image.

● Picks up tinies like they're riddled with disease, often either holding them between his thumb and index finger or dropping them into the middle of his palm.

● If he happens to grow particularly close to a tiny, he may allow them to stay on his shoulder.

● Usually doesn't let tinies on him because he says they'll dirty his clothes.

● Extremely condescending to tinies.

● Becomes surprisingly possessive over tinies he grows attached to.

● Gets frustrated if tinies don't follow his commands.

---

Nagito Komaeda

(Usually very submissive and self-deprecating; his brain is basically deteriorating because of his illness. He also has INSANE luck, which is the only reason he isn't dead.)

I imagine he'd treat tinies depending on how "hopeful" he sees them. This might differ depending on his own state, so for this, I've decided that if he's a tiny, he’d view tinies as worthless and useless beings. However, if he were a giant, he could view tinies as the epitome of hope, as they’re still alive despite their size.

If he were tiny:

● Degrades other tinies because he sees them as worthless, despite viewing himself the same way.

● Not at all scared of giants; he really doesn't mind if they want to kill or hurt him and usually lets them.

● Does a lot of things to test his luck (e.g., testing out mouse traps, throwing himself off the edges of tables, counters, people, etc.).

● Is fine with being held in basically any manner.

● Even though he'd never express it, he personally prefers being cupped in a giant's palm or perched on their shoulder near their neck.

● Likes to purposely endanger himself around giants to gauge their reactions and test his own luck.

● Can get super clingy to giants he grows attached to.

● Actually really curious about giants and how they work/feel.

● Somehow manages to make even the most sadistic giants confused or uncomfortable.

● Often provokes giants despite being very aware of the dangers.

If he were a giant:

● Obsesses over tinies, seeing them as the epitome of hope since they're alive despite their size.

● Very supportive of tinies' goals and tries to push them to overcome their fears.

● Can come off as overbearing due to how intense he can get.

● Fascinated by the existence of tinies.

● Likes to cup tinies in his palm because he feels it’s the most comfortable for them.

● Does small things he thinks will make them feel safer (e.g., gently rubbing their backs, petting their heads, etc.).

● Treats them like the most precious thing ever, which is actually surprisingly creepy.

● Sometimes gets so overprotective that it becomes borderline aggression; he doesn’t necessarily see it this way, though.

● Will harm tinies he views as embodying despair.

● VERY OBSERVANT.

---

Kokichi Ouma

(Comes off as very mischievous and likes to tease/pick on people; he's actually very smart and observant and overall means well. His true personality is left somewhat ambiguous at the end, but I think he meant well.)

As a tiny:

● Constantly tests the patience of giants.

● Acts like he's not scared of giants (even though being around them gives him a bit of anxiety).

● Doesn't mind being picked up without being asked, although he's quick to put himself in control of the situation if he can.

● Likes to nestle into pockets or bags.

● Is able to tell quickly if a giant is malicious or not.

● Uses humor as a way to cope with dangerous situations.

● Enjoys playing pranks on both tinies and giants.

● Can get another tiny away from a malicious giant quickly and usually without making it seem like he cares.

● Finds gullible giants and makes them carry him around.

● Manages to get onto giants' shoulders or into pockets without them noticing.

● Very skilled climber.

If he were a giant:

● Uses his size to assert dominance over tinies, but in a more playful way than Togami.

● Has a surprisingly gentle grip when handling tinies.

● LOVES to tease tinies, verbally or physically.

● Throws tinies into the air and catches them in his palm when he's bored or thinking.

● Can also come off as overwhelming.

● Dangles tinies in the air or above his mouth to get a reaction out of them, even though he’d likely never drop them.

● Lets tinies sit on his neck under his scarf if they're cold.

● Likes to poke tinies to knock them off their feet because it annoys them.

● Actually would never do something to a tiny if he wasn't sure he could do it without hurting them.

● Comes off as careless on purpose.

● Usually just grabs tinies without warning.

[bbc2pastmidnight]

So obsessed with the variability of valid readings of Edgeworth’s relationship with sex / sexuality. This is slightly long so I’ll put it under the cut.

He’s a virgin; he’s a whore. He’s trans (both ways, depending who you ask or what mood they’re in); he’s the most unbearable rich cis gay man to ever walk the earth (you know the type). He’s aromantic; he falls in love with anyone who’s nice to him, even if he knows that outward “niceness” is just their personality. He can’t love anyone whom he can’t respect, so he likes to be put in his place (roughly); he finds comfort in his own projection of superiority, and feels his best standing and gloating over someone he’s defeated (in any sense). He revels in the simplicity of taking a physical beating; he just wants to be held. He can’t stand to give up control, and will do anything to anyone to maintain it; having control entirely seized from him is the best thing he can imagine. He’s a sadist, he’s a masochist, or he’s too tired, so tired of perfectly fulfilling every role in his life already. He just wants a hand to squeeze quietly under the table, to have a reason to learn how to cook; domesticity repels and terrifies him, who grew up in a cold house and expects to die in the familiar comfort of a frigid one (where the spotless kitchen is never used and the cushions are always arranged just-so, where he can let his guard down, focus on work till the wee hours of the morning and shuffle to a cool, silent bedroom: numb, but not painful).

He’s a top; he’s a bottom. He typically finds sex repulsive and awkward and alarming; or he doesn’t view it as anything personal at all, the same as going out for a drink after work to try and unwind. He’s dying to submit to something; he’ll fight tooth and claw before someone sees him so vulnerable. He knows he’s handsome and how to use this to get what he wants (and has done since an alarmingly young age); he’s so buttoned-up and stiff that the impropriety of attempting such a thing is unthinkable.

I honestly feel that there’s text to support one, both, or a mixture of any of these readings, and seeing other peoples’ interpretations rarely feels entirely wrong because he’s such a self-contradictory character. He often seems to know what he wants, and he sometimes seems to know what’s good for him, yet he rarely seems to desire what would be good for him at all. Even as his character develops and grows older and seems to accept himself more and grow back into the person he always seems to have been at his core, there’s still this stubborn sense of self-loathing that’s been hammered into him for so long. It’s nowhere near as bad as when he was young, like in the first game or in flashback cases, and he’s clearly doing better and is a lot more comfortable, but even if he’s attained some level of not-hurting, it doesn’t mean that he’s good, you know ? And this seems to hold him back from…something. I think from what depends on your reading of him, ultimately. But some young, vindictive part of him still doesn’t want to lose, somehow, I think. And this presents as very contradictory actions and reactions over time. This can be said of his whole character, not just his sexuality, obviously, but I think that since there is so much writing and speculation about his (and other characters’s) sexual preferences among fans etc, it is a useful vessel for communicating this important aspect of his character, this push and pull of his own psyche.

I’ll definitely cringe to look back on this someday and I haven’t even proofread it now, but I do have brain worms that I wanted to release into the ether. Now that they have seen the open air (the worms, I mean) I will retreat back into the hole from whence i came.

PS. I can’t believe this is the pink guy from gay lawyer game

[prying-pandora666]

Please say this is a satire post. You cannot be serious. Are you actually trying to claim that Zuko’s “I’ll save you from the pirates” was him literally trying to save her and not a threat? He was teaming up with the pirates! He was sarcastically threatening her, not rescuing her! Look at Katara’s terrified expression. Listen to how menacingly Zuko says it. Look at how stiff and uncomfortable Katara’s hands look as Zuko clenches her wrists with force. Listen to the soundtrack making it clear this is a scary situation, not salvation. Katara isn’t a skilled bender here yet so she’s completely helpless among a group of adult men plus an older teen boy who is both physically stronger and a superior bender. This would be terrifying IRL for any 14 year old girl.

You don’t think pirates hurt women??? Do you even know what pirates are??? Pirates were infamous for violence against women, especially sexual violence since at the time women were held equally accountable for these crimes committed against them! Here, an actual source.

And you somehow think him offering to give her back her mother’s necklace only if she betrays what she knows about Aang is just a meaningless trade offer? Tell me, do you honestly not understand the implicit threat to not return it if she doesn’t talk?

He then threatens to burn the waterbending scroll. A rare item from her culture. Precious knowledge that is currently lost to the Southern Water Tribe due to the attempted genocide by The Fire Nation. Something Zuko would know about since we are shown he and Azula were educated on the war and were also perfectly aware of Uncle Iroh’s campaign against Ba Sing Se. Zuko even identified who killed Kya just by a description of a banner. Clearly he knows what they’ve done to Katara’s people and yet he’s threatening to burn a precious cultural artifact in addition to threatening to take away the necklace from her mother if she doesn’t talk.

And simultaneously he has her tied up and defenseless with pirates around, pirates that mean her harm for stealing from them, to intimidate her. With the implicit threat that he will hand her over to the pirates if he doesn’t get what he wants from her.

Have you ever seen that Always Sunny bit about “the implication”? Here it is if you haven’t.

It’s exceedingly clear that Zuko has the pirates and the scroll (which he outright threatens to burn) and the necklace all here to imply to Katara what will happen if she refuses to give Zuko what he wants.

No, Azula and Mai are not abusive to Zuko. Ozai is the abuser. Abuse requires a specific difference in power dynamics. Something neither Azula nor Mai have over Zuko (at least not once Azula brings him home in honor).

Mai and Zuko have an incompatible relationship. Although Mai doesn’t understand Zuko’s emotional needs and lacks the capacity to comfort him the way he needs, she still tries! She comes off dismissive and cold and I can empathize with why Zuko is hurt. (Not counting the comics, she gaslights him there and that’s not okay). But Zuko responds by being controlling and inconsiderate so he’s no prize here either. I’m no fan of this pairing as written but it’s troubling how people use this as an excuse to demonize Mai and frame Zuko as some innocent, abused child instead of the nearly 17 year old (the eldest of the group) who constantly lashes out at others because he can’t cope with his own cognitive dissonance.

And Azula??? She and Zuko’s mutually toxic rivalry is the fault of Ozai pitting them against one another. Azula lashes out at Zuko when he betrays her, just as Zuko lashes out at Iroh. But even then, Azula does make attempts to reach out and help her brother, however misguided. What does Zuko ever do for her? He never even shows her a moment of kindness or understanding, and is happy to exploit her mental illness and suffering to win a fight.

Look, I love Zuko. He is my favorite character. But the whole thing that makes him so wonderful is watching him change specifically because he WAS a villain! Remember that for all her cruel tendencies, Azula never even attacks a single civilian. Zuko burns down an entire village and terrorizes several more. It’s not as if she is uniquely terrible here. Zuko is just as brainwashed and willing to commit terrible acts to earn his father’s love and approval.

And I have no ill-will towards Zutara. I think the fandom is very creative and has some interesting takes. I enjoy the hard work and analysis put in by writers like @burst-of-iridescent, not to mention the countless gorgeous works of fan art. But this BS you’ve written here? This is the ammunition anti-Zutaras use against the entire community. Because you’ve completely downplayed and invalidated Katara’s terror and Zuko’s cruelty here in favor of simping for the aggressor. You are stomping all over Katara’s feelings here just to justify… what? So you can pretend Zuko was always the goodest boy?

If you find yourself at the point where you’re pretending a sarcastic threat is ACTUALLY a sincere offer of salvation? Maybe you need to reassess.

Ok, I REALLY need to show how stupid this post is:

*Sigh* First, NO, Zuko never tried to burn her mother's necklace and never threatened to hand Katara over to pirates who are supposedly "knOwN tO huRt WoMen". In fact, he says he's going to save her from the pirates. And I really don't know where this person got it from that these pirates are known to hurt women, like hello?????? Do you really watched the show?

Also, while I agree that Toph and Katara was never abusive to Zuko, I cant say the same for Azula and Mai. And if it's still not clear to you that they were indeed abusive to Zuko, just rewatch the fucking show instead of lying and implying that all zutarians are "misogynists" and "hypocrites", cause, in your head, "we all only defend Zuko". Thank you.

[mmmmalo]

For anyone still under the impression that June Egbert is just a product of the Toblerone wishes with no particular relevance to Homestuck proper, here's an argument to the contrary: that June (or whatever you like to call her) was already here, woven into John's relationship with the idea of Dad.

Act 1 has a certain preoccupation with the ideal forms of things, John having multiple instances of saying X isn't a REAL X unless it has this or that characteristic. "A fire BELONGS in a fireplace, categorically." One of those outbursts touches upon masculinity, with John saying a gentleman without a monocle is a piss-poor excuse for such. Along such a paradigm, you might gather that something like John saying the beaglepuss sucks as a disguise or trying (and failing) to integrate Dad's pipe into the façade communicates that John is kind of grasping at this ideal of masculinity exemplified by Dad and getting frustrated that he can't seem to measure up to it (or that masculinity feels "fake" on him).

This sort of dynamic is more blatant with Dave, who talks openly about how he isn't a "hero", not really, measuring himself against the impossible standards set by his Bro. But as much was already implicit in Act 1.

Later it gets established that John has some kind of fear of heights: the first ogres appear after John experiences vertigo from almost falling off the stairs, and again after getting launched by the pogo hammer. (Just as Karkat suspected he was given a planet covered in his own blood as a form of harassment, Sburb placed John's house on that needle plateau because of this fear of heights; the game generally manifests adversaries in response to fear). The phobia becomes relevant to Dad stuff after the ogre fight is over, when John is hesitating to jump down into Dad's room: it isn't just that John's nervous about entering the room for the first time, the descent itself makes John anxious. Furthermore, this juxtaposition serves to establish that the fear of heights and anxieties around Dad are related somehow, if not outright synonymous. The two are associated again at the beginning of Act 5 Act 2, when dream!John tries to jump over a canyon to reach Dad, but awakens mid-leap. The formal reason John awakens is Vriska of course, but if we ignore her we're left with John approaching Dad and immediately experiencing vertigo. (The name "June" comes from Vriska contacting John shortly after this dream, incidentally)

This comes up again when John finds Dad's wallet and gets overwhelmed by the prospect of Manhood and the responsibilities it entails -- next thing you know John is flying around in Dad's car, having fun... and after the scene is interrupted by Seek the Highblood, we return to find John crashing the car (another fall from the sky!) and talking with Vriska about dread surrounding societal expectations, and the possibility of rejecting them to pursue something different for yourself. John came into the scene worried (if quietly) about the expectations surrounding manhood, so the Vriska conversation serves to makes those kind of concerns more vivid.

The car crash is itself kind of a metaphor for that conversation's trajectory... in Act 6 we see something analogous play out among the Dersites who have gotten into dapper-wear: one Dersite sits on a hat, panics about ruining it, and then begins to wonder if perhaps a crumpled hat could have a value of its own, aesthetically. (Dirk expresses this sort of counter-assessment more bombastically: "...the next best thing. By which you mean, the vastly superior thing.") Dad Crocker swoops in to condemn the crumpled hat, but the Dersite's tentative revaluation of an apparent failure mode is something the scene shares with Vriska, who initially regards her ambivalence towards murder as a symptom of personal failure, unbefitting her caste. John enters that conversation with a crumpled car, and from context we can guess John's revaluation concerns "failing" to be a man in the way Dad is, and how maybe that doesn't need to be considered a failure.

As laid out so far, I guess none of this quite necessitates trans-Egbert, since people can come at "anxiety and reservations at the prospect of embodying masculine ideals" from a number of angles... but there are other considerations which make me think wrestling with self-deprecating thoughts like "I'm a failed man" are maybe comorbid with a budding sense of being a girl, in Egbert's case.

Foremost, I think it helps to recognize that Dad's car can function as a symbol of John's body. To sketch a case for that:

1a. Death often means transformation: the trolls die in questcocoons to reach the godtiers, suggesting that death stands between the caterpillar and the butterfly, their too solid flesh dissolved into a goo.

1b. A command in Act 1 implores John to "retrieve arms from MAGIC CHEST". John complies twofold: we see some fake arms retrieved from the toy chest, held up by John's real arms which have been "retrieved" from John's ostensibly armless torso.

2. This dual usage of chest is deployed in part 3 of Openbound, in service of building a dysphoria metaphor (among other things). The segment reintroduces us to Fiduspawn, a game in which one creature hatches from another, a host creature, killing the host in the process (fans of the Alien films may recognize this as derivative of the "chestburster", fans of Homestuck may recognize this as analogous to godtiering). Damara (who Rufioh refers to as "doll") becomes the host plush, who is accused of locking away Rufioh's "happy thought" (Tinkerbull) in her "chest". Rufioh's beef with Damara serves to illustrate an adversarial relationship with one's own body, the ways in which the body itself seems to function as a barrier to some happiness. The carnal imprisonment of euphoria (the "happy thought") represents dysphoria. The conversation between Kanaya and Porrim which follows has analogous content and offers a potential resolution to such a conflict, with Kanaya coming to distinguish her body from the reproductive duties assigned to her body by her caste's place in society, and knowing that she is not "bound" to the Matriorb by any will but her own...

3. But the paradigm of Fiduspawn reminds us that the act of actually ripping the happy thought out of your chest has suicidal overtones, when taken literally. And Aradiabot notwithstanding, the inner ghosts the kids give up are often green: Dirkbot tears out his uranium heart and explodes, Rose peels pink bricks off the green core of an island and wonders aloud if her existence is a mistake, and (returning to our main topic!) John tries to retrieve the green package from Dad's car. The retrieval of the box comes to represents the birth of the self from its shell, the now broken body, a gesture which overlaps with the pursuit of death.

So we can infer that Dad is akin to Damara here, having locked the desired object (the box, the "happy thought") within a container that we can identify with John's own body. Thus Vriska's talk of perhaps rejecting her assigned role in society proceeds naturally from the wreckage of Dad's car: insofar as the car functions as an emblem of the masculine expectations imposed upon John, the car's wreckage suggests the possibility of liberation from those expectations, liberation from your own body. John is "sick to death of cake" -- cake is a Life symbol imposed by Dad, in visceral excess, accumulating as every birthday marches John towards Manhood. The possibility of living as a girl does not seem to have occurred to John yet, life and masculinity seem inextricable and absolute. The first time John sees Dad's car totaled (after Rose drops it), the symbol of self-as-corpse is surrounded by yellow bands of caution tape. The Authority Regulator who placed the tape will later declare himself to be THE LAW, and we should take his word for it: the scene's function is to declare that the crumpled car, the "dead" and therefore feminized body, is forbidden to John. No surprise then that as John marches to her death, in defiance of the Law's prohibition, she-whose-name-does-not-yet-suit-her is met with impressions of several maps that actually align with their territories: troll movies whose titles are their contents in full, a rocket encoded by the sound PCHOOOOO. John wants that for herself, I think. And as @lscholar once pointed out, it’s worth noting that John's pursuit of this unity (this pursuit of "death") is interrupted by Dave, who in saving John's life repeatedly emphasizes their status as "bros" -- masculinity being, again, inextricable from life within John’s symbol system.

...and that's the short of it. A more detailed account might get into the association of Vriska and other blue girls with the feminized corpse, or read into Equius self-consciously roleplaying as a cat girl between John’s joyride and crash, or perhaps try to apply this car-body framework to the appearances of Dad's car in the Epilogues. And I haven’t even touched upon clowns...but I'll call it here for now.

[skiesofthesketchy]

could i pretty please (with a cherry on top) get “ask me nicely” with jj? 🥺

hi love! thanks for your request :)

ahh i know it's been so long since I've posted, and these requests came in months ago, but I now have more time and will be working on those old requests, and hopefully some other stuff too. y'all let me know what you think, love u <3

masterlist

1k celebration blurbs

25. "Ask me nicely."

***

You were warm, laying out in the sun with your eyes closed as you listened to the banter between your friends about whether the DC comics were better than Marvel. You were hardly paying attention, slowly drifting into a comfortable dream-like state. However, you were rudely awakened by someone snatching the sun hat that was covering your face from the harsh sunlight.

You sat up while shielding your eyes, your vision taking a second to adjust before you noticed JJ standing above you with a sly smirk on his face, your sun hat in hand. “JJ,” you grumbled. “What the hell? Give it back.”

He just shook his head, putting the hat atop his dripping locks of hair. “No can do, Y/N. You’re coming to the water with me.”

You rolled your eyes with a huff. “I was trying to take a nap.”

“Don’t be so lazy,” he teased. You angrily stood up and reached for your hat, but JJ took it off and held it above his head, out of your reach.

“Seriously, JJ? How old are you?” He always pulled this kind of shit with you, taking your stuff and teasing you until you were forced to chase him in order to get it back. It was annoying, and you didn’t know why he found such joy in messing with you all the time.

You pulled on his arm but he wouldn’t budge, the hat still too high up for you to reach. You shoved him and tried jumping instead, but failed. He laughed at your attempt, a bright grin on his face. “You’ll have to try harder than that.”

“Oh my god, you’re so annoying!” You made sure to put on your best pissed off expression, but JJ was unbothered. Getting a rise out of you was one of his favorite pastimes.

“Ask me nicely.” You grumbled at his cute little dimples making an appearance on his handsome face as he smirked at you, eyes gleaming.

“Fine. JJ, can I please have my hat back?” You pouted your lips and batted your eyelashes for good measure. You swear you could punch this idiot sometimes.

“See, Y/N? That’s all you had to do,” he said, offering you the hat, only to take off running when you went to grab it. You had no choice but to chase after him, yelling at him the whole time while he cackled like a child in a game of tag.

Just a few strides behind him, you balled your fists and decided to jump onto his back. JJ only stumbled slightly as you tightened your arms around his neck, your legs wrapping around his waist. “Give it back, you idiot!” you yelled at him.

To your surprise, JJ dropped your hat and used his free hands to grab the back of your thighs. “Time for a swim!” he hollered with a laugh. You tried your best to wiggle out of his grasp, but with his hold on your legs, you’d fall if you let go of his shoulders. Then he was sprinting like a maniac towards the water, acting as if he didn’t have a person on his back kicking and screaming.

He ran into the sea, not stopping until the water reached his chest while you squealed at the cold temperature engulfing your warm body. Leave it to JJ to make you chase him around like a dumbass, then fling you into the ocean. You’re just glad you had taken your clothes off already at your beach spot.

“I’m going to kill you,” you muttered into his ear, your arms still clasped tightly around him.

He just chuckled at your displeasure. “Come on, Y/N. You can’t kill me. You’d miss me too much.” He released your legs but you tightened your grip around him like a snake attacking its prey, your legs wrapped around his waist. Your arm secured around his neck in a chokehold and his hands shot to your elbow to try and pull it away.

“Wanna bet, Maybank?” you taunted in his ear. He only laughed, using his superior strength to pry your arm loose enough for him to breathe. You’ve had your fair share of wrestling matches with the boys, in fact JJ was the one who showed you the move you were trying to pull on him, but you were never strong enough to actually win.

JJ expertly grabbed your wrists and held them down against his chest, but you weren’t going to give up that easily. He laughed again cockily, and you were getting even more annoyed. “You know you can’t beat me in a physical fight,” he beamed.

You couldn’t think of anything witty to say back as you tried to yank your arms free of his grip. The idiot wasn’t even phased, just laughing at your poor attempts to escape before suddenly spinning around and pulling you with him. It was a battle of strength with his fingers still wound around your wrists as you tried to get away. To nobody’s surprise, JJ was winning, and he had somehow maneuvered you to be in front of him, your back pressed to his chest while he held your arms crossed over your body.

“Ugh, JJ!” you whined. You were even more helpless now with JJ clutching you against him and not being able to move your arms. You stopped struggling and threw your head back onto his shoulder. “You couldn’t have let me win just this once?”

You felt his breathy laugh fan over your bare neck and collar bone. “What would be the fun in that?”

You closed your eyes with a sigh, letting your whole body relax now that you had given up on trying to beat JJ. “You’re an asshole.”

He chuckled again, eyes focused on you and how calm you looked now. He had a close up view of your pretty face and the smooth skin of your neck, all the way down to your cleavage. Another soft sigh escaped your lips and JJ smiled, letting go of your arms and wrapping his own around your waist. Instead of being forcefully pinned down, you were secured in his comfortable embrace.

He swayed the pair of you softly as he looked out at the ocean, and you stayed with your eyes closed. His fingers rubbed soothing circles into your skin while your legs floated out in front of you. You were actually falling back into that dream-like state before JJ broke the silence. “I’m beginning to think you like being in this position, Y/N,” he tried to flirt.

“Oh shut up,” you laughed softly. “I’m sleepy.”

“I can carry you back to the beach spot,” JJ offered, which made you smile.

“No, let’s stay here for a little while.” You didn’t see it, but JJ had a grin of his own as he brushed your hair away from your face before returning his hand to your hip.

***

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[teletraan-meets-jarvis]

A Girl Like You

AO3 Link

Pairing: Little bit of Wolffe x fem!Jedi Reader

Summary: You end up having a lightsaber sparring match with Anakin and the clones watch on from the sidelines. Wolffe admires the view.

Warnings: 13+, Wolffe eyeing up the reader.

Word Count: 2k

Author's Notes: This is my first attempt at writing some sort of battle scene, I hope I pulled it off alright. This is mostly a fic about the Dathomiri/Mandalorian reader in order to help me practice writing battles, but I have thrown in Wolffe being cheeky because I couldn't resist. Any feedback is always appreciated, as are reblogs! Fic is below the cutoff, thanks very much for reading x

You’re not entirely sure how you got yourself into this situation. You’d been sitting among a few members of your battalion, the 104th, along with General Skywalker, Commander Tano, the usual suspects from the 501st and a few of the Coruscant Guard commanders, getting yourselves ready to head out for a night out among the lower levels of Coruscant. While you’d been waiting for the last few stragglers to get some fresh armour on before heading out, Anakin had somehow dragged you into some pissing contest about lightsaber designs and which were the most effective in combat. You carried a double bladed weapon, and Anakin had been poking you about how ineffective he’d found them to be in battle. You know he was just trying to get a rise out of you and you hated that it worked.

So that’s how you ended up here, with the challenge of a sparring match presented to you by Anakin. He wanted to test his theory as to what weapon was superior in battle.

���Loser buys the first round at 79’s for everyone” The General suggested. You looked around, there must be at least twenty of you heading out tonight, would your credits even cover that?

“You’re on.” Guess you could always get a few waters and lie to the men. Fox could probably do with a slow start to the drinking anyways.

The three Jedis present used the force to clear some tables out the way, creating a space for the fight. Ahsoka outlined some rules before the event began, which were; no force use on each other, no dirty tricks and please don’t actually hurt each other. Should the latter happen, at least they had Kix there ready to fix them up, even if he was supposed to be off duty.

Once the space was cleared, you got up from your spot amongst the Wolfpack who were hyping you up like you were some pay-per-view sports person about to head into the ring. The 501st boys were cheering for Anakin as Rex gave him a pep talk before sending him off into their makeshift battle arena.

The two of you took your spots opposite each other. You were both still wearing your usual battle clothes, just clean alternatives. Anakin’s fresh, dark coloured robes were neatly wrapped around him, his growing hair hanging just above his eyes as he readied himself for the fight.

You yourself were in a form fitting grey and white jumpsuit which flared slightly at the leg. The sleeves were short, showing off the grey Dathomiri markings on your arms which were dotted across your fair Mandalorian skin. Your whole ensemble was finished off with a single, battle-worn shoulder piece which carried the Wolfpack insignia. Your short blonde hair was in it’s signature half up, half down look, keeping it out of your way.

You both readied yourselves and your eyes met. You could feel the confidence radiating off of him and you knew exactly why. Despite being the same age as Anakin, you were still a Padawan under Master Plo. However, from your Master’s recent suggestions, that wouldn’t be the case for long.

You took a moment to calm yourself. Remembering your training, you let the audience disappear until it was just the two of you. You opened your eyes and readied your lightsaber. You took the handle and held it out in front of you, the space for the two blades coming out either side of your grip. You clicked the weapon on and it buzzed to life. Two green blades in perfect unison. You twirled the weapon around your fingers, pulling it to your side as you got into your initial stance. Leaning back on your right bent leg, your left outstretched in front of you, one half of your weapon inches away from the right side of your head, ready to go.

Anakin had done the same and with some flare, had gotten into his stance. You were both ready.

“After you, Skyguy” and with that, Anakin took the first lunge. You brought your lightsaber up just below your chin, holding it sideways to block his straight swipe down across your head. Your faces inches apart before you both pushed off of each other and started stalking around in a circle, waiting for who would make the next move.

An unspoken understanding in the air between you both, the knowledge that you could push each other to your limits, in a way the Jedi wouldn’t normally encourage in training. The thought sent a slight thrill through your body, you always went into every battle with utmost control, always trying to be a model Commander. You always had to prove to the council that you weren’t a threat, that you could the resist the dark side that came so naturally to your kind. But right now, for the first time, you could really let loose and trial your power with Anakin as you knew he’d be doing the exact same.

The tension in the room was thick, the focused stares between the Jedi entrancing everyone present as they danced around one another.

You both rushed to the centre of the space, sabres clashing right in front of your faces. A cyan glow lit up your features, both sporting wicked grins. The power you both held evident among the spectators. You thought you heard a few gasps from the crowd, but all your focus was directed at the Knight in front of you. His feral smirk held as he spoke from behind the clash of your weapons. “Don’t get too flustered now, I know I look great under blue light”

“Don’t flatter yourself, General” You chuckled as you pushed off each other. Stalking once more.

When you clashed again, it was all a blur. Hit after hit. He was relentless. Your weapons created a bright light show as you kept up with Anakin’s offensive. He pushed you further back, the wall behind you growing closer. You blocked his next hit and took a moment to plan. He was getting confident, too confident. You could use that to your advantage.

You ducked below his next swing and went for his legs, causing him to do a backflip back to the centre. Finally, some breathing room. Now it was your turn to go on the offensive. You charged forward and restarted the fast pace. Delivering blow after blow to Anakin’s defence. Your double blades keeping him on his toes as you made sure to never favour one side of your weapon.

You were both high from the strength you put on display, you don’t remember the last time you let loose like this. You were both sweating slightly, grinning at the enjoyment of such a challenging fight. One strike from Anakin had you swinging your lightsaber over you shoulder to guard your back, as you blocked a particularly dirty move from the General. From the sidelines, you heard Ahsoka reprimanding her Master and reminding him that this was only a sparring match. You raised your eyebrow at the General who just shrugged, still sporting a confident smirk on his face. It was on.

—————

The clones were mesmerised. Of course they’d seen their Jedis fight hundreds of times in battle, but they never had the time to just watch and appreciate. The pair were so different, where Anakin was like a controlled tornado, skill and strength on the brink of being unleashed. Your approach was measured, plotting, more like a slow song building up. Every move you made was calculated, as if you were playing a game of chess.

Wolffe couldn’t help but appreciate the view as you lunged an attack at Anakin. You and Wolffe had been fighting alongside each other for years now but he’d never really seen you like this. Your orange eyes sharp, body tense, feet light as you danced with Anakin. Green and blue clashing. Your moves so smooth and flowing into one another yet contrasted by displays of dangerous power, reminding him of the waters back on Kamino. You looked incredible and he couldn’t help getting pulled into the atmosphere, cheering alongside the rest of his brothers. There was a new feeling in his chest as he watched you battle. Their Jedi. His Jedi.

He continued to stare as the fight raged on. He bloomed with pride when his eyes found your Wolfpack insignia on your shoulder, which perfectly matched your battalion colour-scheme outfit. Speaking of, his eyes couldn’t help themselves as they drifted along your body, finding all the places where that jumpsuit hugged your small curves just right. The way your toned arms strained as you swung your weapon. The way your skin markings lead beneath the v-neckline you’d left at the front of your jumpsuit from the zipper, teasing almost. You were a vision. Maker get ahold of yourself. He shook his head, as if it would clear the racy thoughts from his mind. It didn’t.

Back at the event, there were lulls and peaks in the fight, moments where you were studying each other and others where your lightsabers were in near constant contact as you fought to keep up with the other’s moves.

“You’ve got this General, take her down” Jesse shouted from his position in the sidelines.

“Commander, kick his ass!” Boost piped up in your support.

———————

The crowd getting involved seemed to spur Anakin on further, your next clash resulted in him being able to swing your lightsaber from your grasp. Kriff. Suddenly you felt the tell-tale heat radiating off his weapon onto your throat, only a few millimetres separating them. The 501st were cheering in support of their General while Anakin looked over to his adoring fans, soaking up the praise. You just smirked from your defenceless position.

“You shouldn’t get so cocky, General” you stated casually, pulling him out of his moment.

“What?” Before he could react, you knocked his weapon away from your chin as your right leg hooked around the back of his and sent him sprawling onto his back. You used the force to grab his weapon as you went to kneel on his chest, his own lightsaber now readied towards his throat.

The crowd watched on in shock for a few seconds before the Wolfpack jumped out their seats and started cheering. You’d officially just defeated The Chosen One in a sparring match.

You chuckled at their reactions and Anakin’s pout before helping the General up. You returned his weapon and watched as he stalked back over to his battalion, his pride in tatters. Looking over at your own squad, Comet and Boost were winding up Jesse and Fives over how their Jedi was superior.

As you made your way back over the 104th troopers jumped on you chanting “Wolfpack! Wolfpack! Wolfpack!” some of them even started howling. You just laughed and pushed them off you.

“You’re such dorks” you chuckled, ruffling Sinker’s hair as he walked back to his seat.

“I believe you dropped this sir” Wolffe came over and extended your weapon out to you. It wasn’t the first time he’d had to retrieve your weapon from wherever it’d be thrown in a fight.

“Thank you, Commander” you said with a smile. You were both standing slightly away from the others who were still teasing the 501st, with help from Commander Thorn. Wolffe had a strange look on his face, like he was contemplating something.

“You looked good out there” he piped up, his usual bravado replaced with something more unsure. However, his walls were back up before you could tell what it was.

“You telling me I look good, Wolffe?” You teased, hoping to wind him up a little bit.

“Maybe I am” he replied with a smirk, his eyes giving you a once over boldly in front of you. You blushed at the sudden attention. Well this was new.

“You two Commanders done flirting or can we go now? There’s a free round waiting for us!” Ahsoka shouted from across the way.

You and Wolffe looked at each other for a moment longer before you chuckled and nodded your head in the direction of the exit. “We should head off”.

As you walked side by side with the clone Commander, you thought back to the way he looked at you. There was something in his eyes, admiration, maybe even want? You couldn’t tell, but you definitely wanted to find out. Maybe a few drinks would loosen him up enough to see what was going on in that handsome head of his.

Back to Masterlist

[wesleysniperking]

I’m going to say this:

Awhile back someone made a Reddit post pretty much assigning each Straw Hat a role they’d suck at (be-bad-at) on the ship. Of course Zoro gets navigator, Luffy gets cook, yada yada yada.

Ultimately they assigned Usopp the captain role…he’d (apparently) suck at.

BUT despite Reddit’s ruthless and toxic groupthink, a lot of users didn’t see much reason in declaring Usopp the worst in the Captain role. Some people actually thought he’d be pretty decent.

So, I don’t disagree with anyone’s answers. I just believe in the idea that Usopp has foresight and that in some way, shape, or form he’ll be a captain in his own right. Some say he’ll be a captain of the Elbaf giants, some say he’ll be the captain of the Straw Hat grand fleet who’ll lead everyone (the grand fleet) to battle in the Great War (or War of the World? The War in One Piece’s climax?—uhrm, uh, I butchered it, but you get the gist!).

So, when it bugs people that Usopp calls himself “Captain Usopp” I think he’s always just a few steps ahead. Nothing wrong with that. Captain Usopp happens in the future. But how? I don’t know.

Therefore, the third in command could potentially go to Usopp, but Nami seems the most obvious choice as of now (which is well justified, why not?)

Yet, it’s so weird to think of…Usopp…to think…hmm..(*taps chin*) When I think of all the Straw Hats being so down, despondent, and dejected in a rare moment of utter defeat and despair, I think Usopp would be the only one to encourage and uplift everyone the most effectively. I don’t think anyone else could do it like him. He’s the most normal guy in the Straw Hat crew who doesn’t just jump into things hoping for the best w/ no Fs to give. He doesn’t have a DF, and he’s apparently the weakest (why Oda? You give the haters something throw in Usopp fans’ faces 😭). Usopp represents morale. Usopp represents the everyday working class people).

To say this, my point is that to have the most cowardly, fun loving, negative, and unexpectedly (unconventionally and ironically) enigmatic member of the crew uplift his fearless and monster-strong crew mates is believable because if the weakest and cowardly of the whole lot can believe in them, then is all hope really lost? With that in mind, maybe he would be the third in command in a moment of utter despair for the Straw Hats. Like, if Luffy has a breakdown (and is bed-ridden or hypnotized(???) or hit with something unexpectedly paralyzing), or Zoro is held up somewhere (in chains or confinement), or Nami is just somehow tinkering in her resolve, and Sanji just…over it, then Usopp could step in and do what he does best.

—-Even if it was juvenile and unconvincing (to everyone but Luffy and Usopp’s fan club), Usopp did have his own crew once. He can definitely strategize.—-

Overall, Usopp is really good with words and intelligent. A person on Amino said he’s great at convincing others to join his side with confidence. With enough prep time and creative thinking he is dangerous. He’s great when it comes to fighting for those he cares about and believes in deeply. Needless to say, some even think he’s like Batman. The old bat can fight alone, but he’s a decent leader in his own right when it comes to the Justice League (even if Superman takes over or reigns superior).

In the end, Usopp would make a great captain in the most unexpected time or moment.

(I’d even think something like what happened to Teen Titans’ Beast Boy in the “Calling All Titans”/“Titans Together” episode could happen to Usopp if Oda wanted to bring something weird and unexpected to the table but in a more intense way 🤷🏽‍♀️ ).

Alas, I can only hope that Usopp does the unexpected again. Maybe my sentiments will age horribly or well.

Also when it comes to like. The strawhat’s hierarchy when it comes to leadership right. So obviously Luffy is captain, and Zoro is first mate so if Luffy is compromised then Zoro takes over. But if Luffy and Zoro both are somehow not around do we have a confirmed third in command? Would it be like…Sanji? I’ve seen that as an option from a few people but idk, Sanji never struck me as somebody who was interested in doing that. Personally I think it would be Nami, she’s basically the boss during the day-to-day anyway. Although I think an argument could be made for both Jinbe and Brook bc they both have leadership experience. It would also be hilarious if this is how they fulfill the Captain Usopp lie becoming true, but idk. Is there a consensus on this?

[joshslater]

Cross Contamination

Similar stories and bonus material on my Patreon.

I'm fucking furious. To most people Jack Wilson is a hockey hotshot, but to me he is just my wife's ex that can't let go. She said they had another encounter, but wouldn't go into details, saying it wasn't just his fault. She couldn't help herself, she said. Knowing how much she loathes him I suspect she was afraid of him turning violent. He is a star athlete after all, known to have punched more than a few players on the ice.

I know he's training at the stadium right now. That's how bad it has gotten, that I even know his schedule. I'm probably speeding getting there, but nothing else is important right now. I park the car in the huge, but almost empty parking. Neverending slabs of concrete to allow for the cars of thousands of cheering fans during game day. Well, I'm certainly not a fan. Still fuming as I exit the car and heading towards the arena I see him and a few others from his team running towards the same building from across the car park. They must be out for cardio or something. I stop and shout towards them "Hey! Jack!"

I can see them slow down a little, Jack saying something to them, and then breaking apart jogging in my direction while they continue at speed towards the stadium building. I remain still, just glaring at him as he closes in on me. He slows down quite a bit away and saunters towards me, still panting. He has an aura of smug superiority. He's good looking, despite his matted, sweaty hair and week-old beard. It's not just because he's in top shape, but he has that classic athlete chin cut, and mesmerizing eyes to go with it too. He's quite a bit shorter than me, and way denser and muscled, but I would bet my weekly martial arts practice can match him if needed. "Hey, cocksucker! You managed to find your way here," he yells back at me.

"I want you to know..." "Shut up"

I don't know why, but I can't look away from his intense eyes. It's like they can see into me, see every part of me. I'm frozen in place just watching him getting closer. "I said hey cocksucker. What are you waiting for? Go ahead and suck my cock." He says this as calmly as he can, never breaking eye contact. I don't think he blinks. I don't think I blink. I slowly go down on my knees,  grabbing the hem of his sweatpants, and pull down. I still keep eye contact, so I have to feel my way for the waistband of his underwear to pull it down too. I can feel the heat radiate from his steaming body. There's a smell of sweat, not the stale, musky kind, but from someone who showers every day and uses fresh clothes for each workout. He's professional and they got staff. I can hear his heavy breath as he is still recovering from the sprint. And I can feel a rather large cock in front of me that is erect, or at least a good way there. I grab it in my hands and guide the tip to my lips and begin to lick it. It doesn't really taste of much. I open my mouth and get more and more of his compression shirt wrapped abs and pecs in my view as I stare into his deep eyes, and take his big cock deeper and deeper into my mouth.

The tip reaches some point at the back of my mouth and I start to gag, making horrendous gurgling noises. I move back from him. "All the way. I want to be balls deep down your throat, cocksucker." I do as he commands, and push it in again, further. It's somehow much easier this time and my lips are tickled by his moist bush of pubes. I then start to work it, in and out, in and out. The noise I'm making is still horrendous. A wet, sloshy sound, and I hate it. "Yeah, you like that, cocksucker. Now, faster." I grab him by the hip and increase the pace. I get lost in the actions, like nothing matters but his cock, the noise, and his eyes.

I don't know for how long I was in a trance, but I feel him tensing up, pulling me tight to him, and shooting a big load of his cum down my throat. Suddenly the gaze that had held me like a vice breaks and he looks at my face rather than into my eyes. The spell is broken. I'm kneeling in a parking lot with Jack Wilson's cock down my throat, and my nose nuzzled into his pubes. His eyes suddenly widen, and his face turns into horror, like he is looking at a monster. Everything is going like in slow motion. I begin to push him away, to get his disgusting cock out of my mouth as he shoots his second load. Somehow in shock I manage to breathe in his cum. He pulls away from me as well, and his third load ends up just next to me on the concrete. "Fuck!" he says, visibly upset. "It's still in the bloodstream. Spit it out! Spit it out!"

I'm not sure I even have any in my mouth to spit out. It just went straight into my belly and into my lungs. Lungs that are desperately trying to cough up his spunky goo in phlegm-filled, deep whoops. "Fuck!" he shouts one last time, pulls up his sweatpants, and runs towards the Stadium building with one hand holding the pants up. I'm just folded over on my knees coughing and coughing while my mind is racing to make sense of what just happened. My chest is burning and I feel nauseated. There is the salty, bitter taste of cum in my mouth and a stench of athlete sweat as I gasp for air in between the coughs. I keep coughing, but less and less of substance is coming up. I spit out specks of Jack's spunk on the concrete in front of me, and realize what she had meant when she said she couldn't help herself. Did he fuck her? After what just happened I wouldn't put anything past Jack, and there is literally nothing I wouldn't forgive her for having done. She would have been helpless to stop.

I can feel my whole body burning as I get up from the concrete. I'm very aware how my clothes rubs against my body, like my senses have just gone into overdrive. Everything, every single muscle in my body feels sore. My head is spinning. Still coughing I stagger towards my car and get in behind the wheels. As I close the door the world goes silent. I can only hear my own exhausted panting. I'm confused about what is happening and feel sick as shit, but at least the world isn't spinning anymore. Somehow I must have been poisoned. What did he mean with "in the bloodstream?"

I start the car and carefully drive from the parking lot and out in the direction of home. Perhaps I shouldn't be driving at all. Crashing while driving is worse than crashing while sitting in a parking lot, but I really don't want to have to call anyone for help. Not after what I've just been through. I so sympathize with the movie cliché of a girl sobbing in the shower. I only want to cleanse myself in any way possible. To get rid of Jack from me. Even now I can feel the smell of athletic sweat, like it was clinging on to me.

There is a big pop accompanied by one of the chest buttons on my shirt shooting off in the car. The pop isn't so much heard as felt, as a reverberation in my body like someone just punched me in the chest, with dull spikes of pain in the joints. I swerve dangerously close to the side of the road. It feels like my shoulders pops into their sockets, like my chest just suddenly expands and the rest of my body catches up. There is no mirror I can look in, but I can clearly see something is off just by looking down at my body. What little movement I can make while driving the car feels different.

There is another big shift. Knees and hip joints this time, I think. I'm a little more prepared to handle that one without swerving, but this time I'm instead missing the brake pedal like the seat is set wrong. I scoot forward on the seat and reach the pedal. Now I'm getting real nervous what is happening. I'm almost home though, but I can feel my thigh muscles involuntarily flexing, my feet are hurting, and my stomach is gurgling like bad plumbing.

Her car is not home yet, thank God. I park mine as calmly as I can, screaming inside that I need to get inside and see what the fuck is going on. As I step out of the car I get a first inkling about the enormity of the changes. I almost trip stepping out of the car, and sit down again on the edge of the seat. The fabric on the trousers are straining, and I realize that my feet are probably hurting because they have swollen up inside the shoes. I try to kick off one of the sneakers, but it's stuck enough that I have to untie them. My movements feel off. It's not that it is hard to move. The opposite in fact, but different somehow. Me feet thanks me in relief as they are freed,

With the shoes off I awkwardly make my way into the house and step into the nearest bathroom. It's me in the mirror, of course, but me 5-10 years younger. I'm touching my face in disbelief. But this isn't just me regressed a decade in time. I was way taller than this then. Curious I unbutton the remaining buttons on my shirt and throw it on the floor. The chest and abs are not me 5-10 years ago. I've never looked this buff before. For one I've never had washboard abs, and the pecs and shoulders are wide and meaty. The arms more slender, though still muscular, and the core is built more for function than aesthetics. A bit too dense for the show off V shape. Dense, with a low center of gravity.

It's the body of a hockey player.

I rip off the straining trousers and the socks. Sure enough, massive leg muscles, big thighs, big ass, big feet. Jack the fucking cheater is a fraud in all areas. Whatever the fuck he is taking must have concentrated in his balls, shot into my lungs, and from there gone straight into my bloodstream to do whatever the fuck it's done to me. And there is nothing I can do to hurt him with it. Who would believe me? This is so far from any science I've heard of.

I take a closer look in the mirror again. Perhaps it isn't all bad after all.

[drymbp]

white knight | lisa

A/N : Hello everyone! I'm finally posting my first ever imagine out here in Tumblr! I'm still new to writing and I hope to get better at it soon.

This idea was inspired by a dream, and I couldn't stop myself from turning it into a Lisa fic, because it just felt right.

Happy reading :)

~

Lisa should have returned with her band mates after rehearsals. But instead she chose to stay back and practice more until she was out of breath and one thing led to another, and she landed herself on the ground with a twisted ankle. Luckily you were on your break returning from a café, and you just happened to pass by the Blackpink practice room when you heard a scream. You rushed into the room and saw Lisa from BLACKPINK howling in pain.

"Are you alright miss?" She looked at you and gave you a weak smile. You cursed yourself for your lack of sense, and got down on you knees inspecting her ankle. "I'm sorry for that earlier, but I believe we need to get you to the doctor as soon as possible." She nodded, trying to get up but wasn't able to put pressure on her leg and struggled to stand without being in pain. You felt really bad for the idol, so you did what you thought was right.

You crouched down before her, and asked her to hop on, she seemed hesitant at first, but the way you looked at her made her want to obey you somehow. So without further ado, you walked out of the room carrying Lisa. Thankfully you met her manager, who you knew as a senior because you were an intern, and explained the situation. Immediately y'all made your way to the back of the building after making sure everyone's face was well hidden. She had worn the hood over her cap, to make sure nobody recognizes her.

Once you were out, you lowly whispered. "Please hide your face, we don't want people to know it's you and have them follow us." She nodded and hid her face by your neck, you could feel her breath hit you neck, making goosebumps arise all over your body. She held on to you tightly as you made your way towards the company van. The manager opened the van door, and you carefully put Lisa down, making sure she was comfortable in the seat. By the time you were preparing to leave, Lisa tugged at your sleeves, making you look at her curiously and then the manager.

"Get in Miss L/N, might as well help us a little more. You got inside with Lisa, while the manager sat at the front instructing the driver to get to the hospital soon. The ride was silent, unless the manager asked you questions about how it was working in the company, to which you replied professionally. Lisa had been looking at you the whole time, and you could feel her stare, so you turned to the right to check and caught her staring. She quickly averted her gaze, trying to act cool as if she wasn't caught red-handed. You chuckled, causing her to smile.

~

You had somehow made it to the hospital without people knowing and you were relieved. The doctors quickly came to aid, arranging a private room for Lisa. You were standing with the manager, while he was talking to the doctor. Thankfully, it wasn't serious and it would get better if she takes rest and puts ice on them within 2-3hr intervals. The both of you made your way to Lisa's room, the manager informing her that she was free from activities for a while. He left shortly afterwards making a call and with that you were left with Lisa.

She motioned for you to come near and to take a seat, so you did. "How are you feeling?" You asked looking at her wrapped up ankle and then at her. "The pain's alright for now though it hurts if I move it, aside from that it's all good, thank you for carrying me and stuff--" She trails off, looking at you expectantly. You furrow your eyebrows thinking what she meant, then you realize she's asking for you name so you shyly flash her a smile which Lisa finds cute and coos. "Y/N L/N." She nods, saying your name a few times to check how it sounds on her lips, once she's satisfied, she holds out her hand for you. As you return the gesture her smile gets brighter. And you can't help but think how pretty she looks when she smiles, her doe brown eyes stand out making her look like a doll. If you were to be asked to describe Lisa, you would be at a loss of words. Words cannot do justice to her beauty. The more you stare at her the more heat rushes to your cheeks, you internally slap yourself for having these thoughts though you heart doesn't listen.

"Thank you for the help Miss L/N. I would be happy enough to have you in our team. You're really helpful. I must say I was impressed." The manager pats you in your back and you smile thanking him for the kind words, and do a mini dance when he's not looking but Lisa has been watching the whole interaction and chuckles making you hide your face and look everywhere but her and that makes her laugh again.

What a way to woo your crush.

~

You're again seated with Lisa at the back as you guys head to drop Lisa at the dorm. This time, Lisa makes small talks with you about her 5 cats. Leo, Luca, Louis, Lily and Lego and you can't stop smiling as she talks about her cats with so much love and adoration. "What about you Y/N, do you have pets?" You nod filling her in about your P/N and how he/she likes doing their favorite pass time. (P/N - PET NAME)

By the time you've finished telling her this one story, you've arrived at the dorm. You feel sad because you were genuinely having fun, though you don't let it show. You get out, waiting to take Lisa by the hand but she just pouts. "Carry me Y/N, my ankle hurts with all the walking I did from the hospital." The manager looks at you with an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry to have you do this, but please help us Miss L/N." You see Lisa from the corner of your eye winking at you, and you swear you would have exposed her but then you don't want to be rude infront of your superior so you crouch down, while Lisa hops onto you with a smile. The manager opens the door for you, and waits outside. You walk in with Lisa in your back while she mumbles a genuine thank you and so you hum letting her know it's alright and you're not mad. As you enter the dorm, you spot the other members by the living room, sitting on the couch munching on food. Jennie is the first to spot you and Lisa, and she gets up walking to you, gathering the attention of the other two idols.

"Lisa! What happened? How can you be so careless?" Jennie turns into full mom mode when she notices Lisa's wrapped up ankle. And you try to suppress your laughter finding it cute. Lisa however notices you trying to laugh so she pinches your cheeks, making you whine. Jisoo swats away Lisa's hands from your cheeks, and offers you a smile while you mouth her a thanks. Rosé arranges the cushions for Lisa as you lie her down on the couch.

The girls thank you on behalf of Lisa while you bow and say it's alright. You get ready to leave, but Lisa calls you. "Y/N aren't you forgetting something?" You look back at her and snap your fingers realizing you should tell her the remedy. "Ah yeah, you have to put ice on your ankle within 2-3hr intervals so as to ensure that the swelling doesn't increase." Lisa shakes her head at your obliviousness and takes out her phone, flexing it in front of your face. "You forgot to give me your number. You promised to show me pictures of your P/N." You look at her incredulously while the other members just laugh and make their way to the kitchen to give you both some privacy. You contemplate whether it's professional of you to hand her your number, no it isn't. But the puppy eyes she shoots you makes it harder for you to decline and you hesitantly hand her your phone. She punches her number in, saving it with various emojis.

Lisa🐒🐥🐈🖤💗

You laugh at her choice. She sends a quick text from your phone to herself and saves your number with God knows how many emojis.

Finally, you get up to leave before she pulls you by your hand and kisses your cheeks leaving you flustered. "Uhm I-- You- I- must leave. M-My superior's wait-waiting bye!" You run off, almost stumbling into a wall.

You're falling for her and there's no denying.

~

The next day, dispatch and various news channels reveal photos of you carrying Lisa from the building to the van. Some fans share their worries about their favorite idol while some joke about the picture being from a movie scene. Both Knetizens and Fans are curious about the mysterious person, setting the news to trending. You go through a few other articles, until one of them catches your eyes.

BLACKPINK LISA SAVED FROM ANKLE INJURY BY MYSTERIOUS FEMALE. FANS CALL HER THE WHITE KNIGHT!

By the time you've finished reading, you get a message from Lisa.

Thank you my white knight, hope to have your exclusive services limited only for myself. Meet me soon <3 Would love to know more about you 🙈

[ascalonianpicnic]

Hey! Y’all want a salty essay about the bullshit treatment Caithe gets from the fandom at large that compares Rytlock and Caithe’s characters? Cause I wrote one!

Warning: this essay is incredibly bitter and salty, and that bitterness and salt is directed at people who hate Caithe. I swear in it. I’m mean to Rytlock in it. I heavily imply people who hate Caithe are sexist in it. This was written in the middle of the champions releases, but doesn’t focus on s5 or past pof in general.

A morally grey assassin, jaded from a traumatic past who thinks they have to do everything themself to ensure it's done right. They had to kill someone close to them for the greater good, were deeply hurt by a former partner, no longer work with their old crew due to a tragedy they could not prevent and blame themself for. The two people they care about are their brother whom they love and understand despite his quirks and oddities, and their new young mentee who they have mixed feelings about and who they don't want to admit they care for for fear of losing them. They have a blood soaked past and make mistakes, but they're learning and growing thanks to their young mentee and the hard work they're putting in at reflecting on their past actions and accepting they don't have to bear the weight of the world alone.

Y'all would like Caithe if she was a man. She's built on several tropes so commonly seen in male protagonists and mentor figures. Mistakes she's made that people claim are unforgivable are made by other, less apologetic, male characters who are forgiven and still held in high regard. And I know these archetypes are popular among the guild wars 2 fandom, considering the high crossover with dragon age fans, and how many dragon age fans love Zevran the assassin who regularly hides his true feelings and bears so much guilt, and Duncan the former thief who sees little crime in what he views as rightful murders and views death as an acceptable cost to protect some secrets for the safety of the world. The guild wars 2 fandom in general would love Caithe so much more if she wasn't a woman. 

But because she's a woman, killing Wynne, killing a few courtiers during personal story, keeping the secret of the sylvari to protect her people from a massacre at the hands of the other races, and taking the egg to ensure it wouldn't fall into the wrong hands are all seen as unforgivable sins. She's learning and growing every step of the way. She's taken the time to look back on what she's done. She's apologized for not trusting and betraying the commander (who she has a complicated relationship with regardless of race, that person stole her wyld hunt because she was somehow not good enough to kill a dragon alone), she's learned she can rely on others to have her back and doesn't have to do everything alone, she's realized bloodshed isn't always the answer. She's come a long way, learned to let herself trust again, and is working so hard to grow. Yet loads of y'all still hate her for her past mistakes, and some of y'all think it's okay to wish death on her fucking openly with no warning. 

And yet, so many people who hate Caithe and wish death on her, citing her actions during Living World Season 2 and Heart of Thorns as the reason why, will in the same breath mention that Rytlock is one of their favorite characters in the game. As I said, y'all would like Caithe if she was a man. 

Rytlock has made the exact same mistakes as Caithe during the story. Alright maybe not exactly the same, but his mistakes parallel hers very cleanly. He isn't an assassin, but he is a born and raised soldier who has killed countless people in his rise to the rank of Tribune. He didn't steal an egg, but he did jump into the mists and free a clearly powerful and dangerous figure for the sake of getting his sword back. He didn't keep the secret of the sylvari, but he did, in fact, keep the secret of Balthazar. And he had his own mentee who he had a fraught relationship with. Let's take this one by one. 

If you play through the blood legion story on a charr, you probably remember overthrowing the legionnaire of your warband and taking over. In this segment, Rytlock not only encourages you to challenge your Legionnaire, he forces Urvan Steelbane to fight you. Then, at the end of the fight, he gives you the option to kill your superior. Rising through the ranks in charr society is a mixture of proving yourself a reliable soldier and proving yourself superior to your superiors through combat so you can take their place. As a tribune, Rytlock has risen high through the legion, spilling lots of blood and putting those around him at risk. It is noted that prior to his promotion to tribune, Rytlock got in serious trouble more than once for risking missions and endangering his own warband for the sake of his own fame and glory. While not an assassin, much like Caithe he has a very bloody history and a habit of trying to do everything himself  

One of the biggest events held against Caithe is when she steals Aurene's egg from the dying Master of Peace as he tries to give it to the commander. While especially true for the sylvari commander, Caithe has a lot of her own reasons for not trusting this incredibly important egg in the hands of the commander. At the same time, her calling as one of Aurene's guardians, her wyld hunt to protect this egg, and the poundings at her mind of mordremoth are all overwhelming her and leaving her confused. Feeling she has to do everything herself, as she often struggles with, Caithe takes the egg to protect it from falling in the wrong hands. She later admits this was the wrong move that put people around her in grave danger and risked the world and apologizes for it. The way Caithe acts about Aurene's egg is pretty similar to how Rytlock acts towards the sword Sohothin. The first time he sees it, he jeopardizes the mission he and Crecia are on to steal it, putting her in extreme danger and blaming her when she has to act to protect herself. Later on, when he loses the sword through a mists portal during a ritual to try and cleanse the foefire ghosts from Ascalon, he abandons the ritual, ensuring it fails, so he can pursue his sword, leaving the commander and the iron legion imperator to face the danger of Barridin's ghost army alone, much like how Caithe left the commander to face the Shadow of the Dragon while she fled with Aurene's egg. While in the mists, seeking his lost sword, Rytlock frees a very clearly powerful and dangerous figure (who we'll come back to) in order to reclaim Sohothin. Like how Caithe put the world at risk by trying to protect the egg alone, Rytlock puts the world at risk trying to reclaim his sword. 

Let's take a brief moment to talk about Caithe and Rytlock's mentees, before we get on to the biggest similarity the two share. Caithe's mentee, if she has one as it depends on the player, is the sylvari commander. The sylvari commander is a decently young sylvari, who only a few years earlier emerged with a parallel wyld hunt to Caithe herself. Caithe is a loner in general following the pains of Wynne's death, Faolain's abuse, and the breaking of Destiny's Edge. Now she's handed a youth who was created to help her with her Hunt that she was always told she had to do alone, basically saying she is no longer trusted to perform her hunt alone and now she has to train her replacement. She does seem to care for the commander, but the relationship there is always going to start off complicated, and it leads to her betraying the commander, leaving them to fight the Shadow of the Dragon, and taking the egg she doesn't trust them to handle. Later on, once she realizes her mistakes, she reaches out to the commander to apologize, and repeatedly puts her trust very clearly in them, acknowledging that she does need them and she did in the past. How that relationship ends is of course up to the player, but she makes an attempt at reconciliation after the fallout. Rytlock's mentee of note here is Rox. He takes her own as a promising young woman who he thinks would fit well in his warband and takes a hand in helping her train and find her place again in the legions. In order to join the Stone warband, Rox is given the incredibly difficult and definitely not soloable task of killing Scarlet Briar. Rox, when it comes down to it, chooses to put Braham's life and safety over dealing the killing blow to Scarlet herself, trusting the commander, whoever they are, and Kasmeer to get the job done while she stays back with Braham and Marjory. Following the victory over Scarlet, Rox is too afraid to face Rytlock. She didn't kill Scarlet herself, meaning she failed, and she's afraid Rytlock will kill her for it. This is itself a sign of a deeply unhealthy relationship between Rytlock and Rox. On top of that, Rytlock has as of yet never tried to reach out to Rox, to check up on her or apologize or do anything to repair the relationship between the two of them. (A note from replaying s2, Rox does join for the barradin keep mission with Rytlock there, but Rytlock doesn't really check up on her, and he sure as hell doesn't offer her the more than earned position on his warband despite everything.)

The last point is the one I believe I've seen held against Caithe the most. During Living World Season 2, Caithe keeps secret from the commander and from her own brother Trahearne that the Sylvari are purified minions of Mordremoth, leading to Trahearne's attack against the dragon ending in a massacre. Caithe, when she was incredibly young and impressionable, learned the truth from Wynne before having to kill her to keep Faolain from learning the truth as well. She has, for years now, been the only one to know this secret, and she believes that if it were to get out, the world would turn against the still young and fairly defenseless sylvari and slaughter them. As she sees it, she has to bear the burden of this secret alone, as she has to do everything alone. While dealing with her duties tied to Aurene's egg and struggling with the growing voice of Mordremoth as well, she may not even know of Trahearne's plans to fly an army into the jungle. She has every reason to keep this secret still, it's for the good of her own people. Yes it is a mistake, but she didn't know this at the time. She believes, as she keeps this secret, that it is the only way to prevent the sylvari from dying off as they're just coming into the world. She regrets the loss of life, but she can't go back and change it now. 

Now Rytlock also keeps a very important secret, from the commander and everyone else. He refuses to share details of what he saw and did in the mists during his hunt for Sohothin. While in the mists, Rytlock meets an old man in chains. The man, recognizing Sohothin in Rytlock's hands, unlit, says he can reignite the sword if Rytlock frees him. Rytlock accepts the deal and frees the man, returning Sohothin to its original glory and gaining access to a portal out of the mists that the old man makes. Now, Rytlock grew up while the war between humanity and the charr was still growing strong. He spent a lot of his early years in Ascalon, exploring the ruins, likely fighting humans trying to reclaim their land, and definitely fighting the ghosts of humans. That alone should have been enough for him to recognize the human god his enemies worshipped while waging war against him and his people. Beyond that, after Rytlock came into possession of Sohothin, he researched the sword's history. The sword, originally crafted and wielded by Balthazar, is one Rytlock is familiar with. It stands to reason Balthazar himself is at the very least a familiar figure to Rytlock. So when Rytlock encounters a large, powerful figure in the mists who recognizes Sohothin in a state very few have ever seen it in, and has the power to relight the flames that the god Balthazar had originally created, Rytlock has to know who he is talking to. He knows who he freed in exchange for Sohothin's flames. He may say otherwise, but there is no way he doesn't know who he freed in the mists. Even if we give him the benefit of the doubt and say he didn't know who exactly he freed, he still should have told the commander about the man with very powerful fire magic and the ability to make portals who he followed out of the mists. Rytlock caused the tragedy that is Path of Fire and almost caused the end of the world, because he decided to keep the fact that he freed Balthazar a secret from everyone until it was far too late and Elona was already burning. Caithe's secret may have resulted in the failure of the Maguuma campaign and the loss of lives of many soldiers, but Rytlock's secret resulted in the near destruction of an entire civilization and the deaths of countless innocents. 

Yet Caithe is still hated deeply for keeping a secret that she thought was for the good of the world, while Rytlock is quickly forgiven for keeping a secret to protect his pride. Rytlock has made all the same mistakes Caithe has and has arguably handled all of them worse, yet he is still a fandom favorite while she is hated by the community. It's pretty clear that Caithe isn't hated for her actions and mistakes. That's just an excuse. 

You would like her if she was a man. 

[sonik-kun]

I feel you 100%. Every time I log on, I risk seeing just the most insane and disingenuous takes. I try to ignore them, but I just can't allow such blatant misrepresentation of the characters to go on like this. It's as you say, misleading to new fans and paints an unfair picture of the characters.

Literally, most of the things I've seen under the canon JC tag have all been complete ass pulls, with literally zero evidence to back their claims at all. Like JC being a woman hater and now someone who veiws his sister as a commodity?? Like, really?? I have to ask if we have read the same book as them. Or do they really hate the character that much that they've imagined all the crimes they have accused him of committing?

JC is a flawed character. But there are parts of him that is loving and caring (though he doesn't outwardly show it). MXTX herself said he wasn't a bad person. If he saw his sister as just an object, MXTX certainly wouldn't refer to him as such. Plus, the canon facts just completely disapprove that ridiculous accusation anyway.

JC held so much respect for his sister that he sought vegance for her after her death. If she was just a commodity to him, he would NEVER go to that extreme to avenge her. Nor would he have wanted to take up his responsibility as uncle and look after JL, who was already well cared for by the Jins anyway.

It's all this and the accusations that you're an "abuse apologist, a genocide apologist (yes, they have even accused us of supporting the genocide in Palestine previously for liking JC) etc" is what has driven me away from Wangxian tbh. So I completely understand how you'd feel that way. Because I have been there too 😔

I try not to let them push me away, though, because that would mean conceding to bullies, which I refuse to do. They have already bullied a friend of mine off the app before with terrible accusations, just for appreciating JC's character. I refuse to be another victim of their bullying. All I can do is offer my opinions on here and balance the argument. Because the opinions on JC are so skewed that at this point, they're really resorting to just making things up about him or overinflating his actions just to hate on him and weaponise his character against his fans even more.

It is honestly such a cruel thing to do.

Fandom is meant to be a fun space, as you said. I come here to retreat from the world. So, to see such nasty vitriol on here is disheartening to see, I agree. I really don't think they understand how toxic they have made the fandom. Because bear in mind, they don't just treat JC fans like this, but JGY ones too. Heck, I've seen them attack other ships outside of MDZS and claim that theirs is somehow more superior, as well.

It just makes our fandom look like a joke. And whilst I may get a bit reactionary and sarky in my response posts to them, I do try to encourage polite debates whereever possible.

I'm a very argumentative person. So I'm happy to debate with anyone who has opposing opinions to mine, so long as they're respectful. The problem is, most JC antis I've come across here are incapable of that and just resort to nasty accusations and name calling instead as we have seen in the tag. It just ruins the fun of debating entirely. Especially when they blatantly refuse to see things from JC and his fans' perspectives at all.

For this reason, I suppose just blocking them is the best option so you can curate your timeline. It shouldn't have to come to that but these people just don't know how to use proper manners at all. Plus if you don't block them.. You'll run the risk of being dogpiled, attacked and harassed simply for having a positive opinion on JC, just like my friend was :')

In short, please don't feel disheartened or put off from debating here. I love reading how other people have interpreted the character, so long as they're polite and reasonable. Hearing opinions from other fans can be refreshing to see instead of the same, regurgitated ass pull takes I have seen around here lately. 😅

Leaving the fandom will just mean that these toxic fans have succeeded in doing what they sought to achieve. And we mustn't let them win. Let's show them that the fandom still has some warmth in it. And that you don't need to be a belligerent asshole when giving your opinions 😂

To say JC was disrespecting his sister's sacrifice by blaming WWX for her death is a bit of a reach, honestly. Especially since that's obviously his trauma speaking. Merely him trying to put the blame onto someone because sometimes, when we grieve, we feel better when there is someone to blame. Something to attribute those feelings to and hope that by hunting it down, maybe they'll finally go away? And that maybe he will finally get the answers and feelings of closure he yearns for when he does?

We see his conflicted feelings throughout the latter part of the story and how he struggled with them, after all (Which is another tragic aspect of his and WWX's character, which we can't ignore).

Even then, you could argue that in the moment, that was just how JC perceived and rationalised things. WWX did lose control at Nightless City. And whilst it wasn't intentional, and this time by the hands of someone else, rather than his own "zombies", we can see why JC would rationalise it to be WWX's fault. That's what trauma does to a person.

Also, the implications that JC sees his sister as some "commodity" is just wrong and unfairly misrepresenting his character, too. Sorry. Especially whilst he respected all of her wishes throughout. Be it her choice to marry JZX or not, despite JC and WWX hating the dude.

Allowing her that choice to either reject the arrangement (which was hugely beneficial for the sect btw and something families did back then), or accept it by choice is a big deal for a dude of that period tbh. Especially whilst JC effectively had "control" over his sister (which again, he never exercised. She was always the big sister to him, whose word he respected. We see this when he confides in her during the search for WWX during the war). So no. She wasn't a commodity for him. JC started a siege over this woman. He loved her dearly and to reduce their relationship to something so surface level is disingenuous and so not what the author wanted to convey in her work. Js.

To sum up, whilst JC was factually wrong to accuse WWX of the death of his sister, we can see beneath the surface why he reached that conclusion, regardless of the facts.

Context matters greatly here. And WWX did inadvertently bring that threat to them. What doesn't help is also the events that took place before this.

WWX refused to open up to JC when prompted. He kept things from him prior to the incident and just.. Looked culpable as heck for everything despite actually being innocent (especially since this took place not long after the death of his brother in law which was apparently by WWX's hands). All feelings of confusion, anger and grief were bound to mount up and unfortunately, WWX was going to be the outlet for all that because behind it all, there he was. Looking responsible for all that went wrong for JC (despite us as the reader knowing that there's more to the situation than that and that wasn't true. But remember, JC doesn't see what we see. So it's only natural he's going to attribute all that's gone wrong in his life to the man that was always there, somehow at the core of it -ahem. No pun intended there!-).

But all this aside, you've got to remember that JC does let WWX go in the end anyway. He drops all feelings of malice as the truth comes out and he learns that WWX wasn't actually fully responsible for everything he accused and hated him for.

To still hate JC for initially blaming WWX for the cause of JYL's death is a bit silly tbh, especially when they effectively closed that chapter at the end of the book and moved on anyway.

JC doesn't pursue him anymore for answers and nor does he continue to hold him accountable for everything. To bring up his old feelings when the book is finished and all has been put to bed is unfair tbh. Especially when some of you won't even put yourself in JC's shoes and try to come to understand how he came to that conclusion in the first place.