#that shit would have been funny as hell.
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trashfactorysstuff · 2 years ago
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At first in my short knowledge of ATLA before getting to watch the series, I really thought they where Zhao’s kids💀
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navree · 4 months ago
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genuinely would love for some of the "both parties are the same" people to name me a single election in the entirety of the twenty first century where the outcome for the country wouldn't have been better if a democrat had won
#personal#like come on we all know shit would have been amazingly better if the supreme court hadn't couped al gore#kerry would have also been infinitely better than bush too#i'm very glad we got two years of obama rather than a mccain presidency or a romney presidency#and honestly if you think hillary would have been worse than trump or that biden has been worse than trump#or that kamala will somehow be worse than trump 2.0 as he attempts to install himself as fascist dictator for life#you're not a serious person and shouldn't be allowed outside without an adult and also should probably get smacked in the head#with a cast iron pan#every american presidential election for my entire life has very obviously been 'the democrat is infinitely better than the republican'#and has only gotten moreso as i've grown up#hell every election in general is still showing that dems are better than republicans#democrats control the house? they get stuff down#republicans control the house? they go to recess early and are legit gearing up to shut down the government in october#(of an ELECTION YEAR god please let republicans singlehandedly shut down the government a month before election day)#(as a republican tries to take back the white house please god it would be so fucking funny to watch them deal with that)#but like yeah literally vote blue no matter who because i've been alive for twenty five whole years#and in those twenty five years never once has the republican been remotely the better option or even the 'lesser of two evils' option
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bread-wizards · 2 months ago
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Love Laudna wanting Orym to be the one to cut her down if need be because she feels he can make hard choices, and Travis like "uh hello? What about Chetney? You want to put Orym through that anguish? I am right here" like damn, he right tho
#chet is 400+. his relationship with grief is very different from orym who is 6 years into being a widow and being retraumatised each day#chetney is big picture#he doesnt have that same level of responsibility for the others safety and protection that someone like orym has#not to say he doesnt care. he very much does. its just different#for him sometimes caring means putting your dog down when they are suffering#orym would see having to hurt his friends as a personal failing#like how he saw himself dying as a failure#i do find it funny whenever the team is like 'what if i hurt one of you when i lose control? i couldnt live with myself :('#'anyway orym i want you to kill me on purpose'#and orym just like :/ because what is he going to do? say no?#set boundaries and take his own future mental state into account?#nope. if it helps the others then he will commit an unforgivable act and barely be able to live with the guilt after#love that the halfling has been weaponised#this sounds sarcastic. i mean it. its juicy storytelling#the hells need to take chetney into account more. this man is pop pop. he cares in the way a dad friend would#gentle and sweet at times. an empathetic listener#but also willing to smack the shit out of you if you do some fuckshit#he would be so gentle with taking them out#would immortalize them through his woodwork after to remember them#critical role#cr3#orym#chetney#text post#4sd spoilers#my posts#idk if thats a needed tag#sorry for my wall of text tags but i ramble
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shannonsketches · 5 months ago
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still re-reading through the dragon ball trilogy manga and just cracking myself up about how Vegeta has this very Visible Famous Corporate Wife and has probably had to go with her to events,
and I've always really enjoyed the underrated trait that pre and post breakdown/identity crisis Vegeta is very in his element lying to people and being maliciously compliant and snarky and my hot take is that the Freeza Force is probably also very corporate and political when you get down to brass tacks
so just imagine with me the wildly unexpected comedy of Vegeta getting hauled to one of these things thinking it's going to be aWFUL only to find it is terribly familiar and he knows exactly how to operate in this space, actually, but because he is An Alien who used to work as A High Ranking (Self-Described) Thug for an Intergalactic Dictator and you can't just Say That -- he's just having the time of his life playing 'what can I say without saying it' like:
Corporate Partygoer: Oh, you're Bulma's husband! She said you retired quite young?
Vegeta, just going along with whatever Bulma lied about: ...Yes.
Corporate Partygoer: Wow, you must have done very well for yourself! What did you do for work?
Vegeta: ...Real estate. :)
Corporate Partygoer: Oh, how lucrative, no wonder! Private?
Vegeta: Commercial. Surveying, acquisitions, that sort of thing.
Corporate Partygoer: Wow, so like property negotiation deals?
Vegeta, about to get dragged away by his wife: Hostile takeovers, mostly—
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k2ulhu · 8 days ago
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hulu was doing live coverage of the election until 2:00am, at which point my power randomly went out and when I reopened the hulu app on my tv the election coverage was replaced with
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#us politics#I don't care if it was intentional or a coincidence or what that shit is funny as hell#I got like 3 hours of sleep in the past 48 hours#my closest friends are sleeping and don't know yet#we're going to dc a month from now on vacation and none of us expected this#I've been on twitter and it's crushing I see my friends in fear for their lives#I see the worst people in the world cheering for their own downfall because all they care about is someone else having it worse#like they'll douse the vulnerable among us with gasoline and pray for hellfire thinking they'll be safe#but the flames don't discriminate like they do and we're all going to burn#except for the wealthy and powerful of course they'll be polluting the solar system or dead from old age#and the only hell they'll ever know is the one millions upon millions of people eagerly built in their names#in the name of 'greatness'#(man I get really melodramatic when I haven't slept)#and I'm scared too I didn't think this was going to happen and I have no idea what the future holds anymore#and I know I'm privileged to be able to say this when people's lives are about to be destroyed but I think I'm more sad than anything#so disappointed that 70 million people voted for *that*#because it's completely unconscionable to anyone with a soul but somehow he's winning the popular vote for the first time???#what do you mean more people like him now than they did in 2016 and 2020#this genuinely feels like a nightmare are we really so far gone as a country??? as a society?????#that we would not only let a convicted felon (who was served a lawsuit ON ELECTION DAY) on the ballot#but that SEVENTY. MILLION. PEOPLE. would vote for him? to run the country??? to represent us on a global stage?????#*THAT'S* what we as a nation have chosen??? what the fuck is wrong with this country?????#why him indeed#and yet I still have hope#inexplicably
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batsplat · 6 months ago
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following on from this. not to always bring marc into everything (sorry marc) but if assen 2015 had happened against jorge, valentino would have very likely pulled something similar again imo. rather than what he actually did, which is approach marc almost immediately for a nice normal friendly handshake and backing off during the podium celebrations. should be noted that during laguna seca '08, valentino was very much committed to yapping at casey on the podium with the world's biggest smuggest grin on his face
partly that disparity is because jorge not marc was the direct title rival, partly it's because valentino was treating marc with kid gloves right until the second that he wasn't, which marc was seemingly entirely oblivious to. if anyone other than marc had said what he said in that presser, had then continued on with similar rhetoric during sachsenring, valentino would quite likely have gone nuclear. he's done it over less than that. his fondness for marc made him continue to exhibit uncharacteristic restraint... except that fondness unfortunately is what left valentino feeling so very betrayed when (to his eyes) marc could not leave well enough alone
#it's so delightfully tragic isn't it. a lot of 2015 played out the way it did because valentino genuinely wasn't looking for beef#but then felt backed into a corner and decided he had no other option than to blow this shit up#if casey says 'what I think is that we won the race' valentino would've torn him a new one then and there like...#if sete had called assen his best race of the season valentino would've reached for the chalk and incense even sooner#though fwiw I do think the relationship was basically doomed from that point. something would have happened sooner or later#2015 is so funny conceptually because there was already something *off* about it most of the way through. you have the familiar beats#but they shouldn't be HAPPENING with marc. they should be happening with the actual title rival - who vale never properly fought all season#assen 2015 should've been laguna should've been catalunya hell it should've been assen 2004 but it couldn't be#valentino kept accidentally inflicting the psychological blows on the wrong guy because jorge just refused to end up in a straight fight#assen SHOULD have been a pivotal race. but of course it couldn't be because what psychological blow was jorge lorenzo being dealt?#btw the unwillingness to beef doesn't just extend to marc. valentino makes a concerted effort to be uncharacteristically friendly to jorge#still think he would've rubbed assen in his face but. overall! he was trying! which again. very ironic#funhouse mirror ass season i love it dearly#//#brr brr#slowly dipping my toes into dropping 2015 hot takes on tumblr dot com... for so long these have been between me god and my google doc#i love jorge i think he's been involved in a lot of iconic battles i think it's funny not a single one of them happened in 2015#minus kinda phillip island but even there it did feel like the other three were Doing More than him#also just a different vibe to a proper one-on-one. a WEIRD title run where the third man that whole year walks away with the trophy#idol tag
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jacksjoke · 1 year ago
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a-concert-just-for-me · 1 month ago
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QB ADHD test is crazy for autists bc tell me why you’re gonna strap this super uncomfortable headband to my head and also have the lights bright in the room bright af and then have the laptop flash images at me too
Like????????
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m1d-45 · 2 years ago
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Let it be known that I love writing fluff, and I listen to character audios sometimes. SO! I came up with a cute idea for sagau imposter au. I heard somewhere that Xiao's adeptus form is a bird, so I wonder, what kind of bird? And that got me thinking. Xiao being a little song bird, or perhaps even a cardinal.
Now imagine: while looking for the imposter, Xiao stumbles upon them sitting beneath a tree, just feeding some birds. Said birds are absolutely loving the attention since the creator of Teyvat is giving them food and love!
Xiao watches, rather curious. The creator he knows hates birds, because they always dive and cause problems for them. But now... these little birds have completely abandoned any fear they may hold for human beings, happily landing on the hands and shoulders of this supposed imposter.
So he decides to test something.
Xiao turns into a small bird and approaches cautiously. In his smaller form, he's vulnerable to attack. But the person before him doesn't try to hurt him. Rather, they smile and call him "little friend" as they offer food to him. In his distrust, he bites them with his sharp beak.
His heart shatters when he sees divine blood spilling from the wound.
He's about to fly away, get as far away from here as he can. He found the true creator, and instead of worshipping them, he bit them! He caused them to bleed, he shouldn't even be near them-!
His mind stills when they pet his feathered head.
They murmur kind words to him, apologizing to him. They believed that they had startled him, that he bit to protect himself. They forgave him, they felt no hatred towards him, no anger or disappointment. Instead, they offered some chopped almonds, hoping he'd prefer that over bird seed.
He sang for them as he perched on their shoulder.
After that, he did his best to secretly protect the creator he'd harmed. He would adopt his smaller form and sing for them when they felt sad, and he'd use his human form to guard them from a distance. Yes, it made his chest ache whenever they looked at him with fear when they saw his more human form, but the yaksha only shook it off. It only made sense that you'd be scared. He was a frightening person, one that had tried to harm you before. He refused to try and change your feelings towards him. He didn't have the right.
He would be content to sing for you as a harmless bird.
-sibling anon (sorry if this is out of character for him I just like the idea)
oh….. he’s so soft…..
xiao hovering near the edge of the crowd, at first, drawing your attention since he doesn’t seem to be eating any of the seed you’d passed out.
when he finally hops within arms reach, you reach to nudge some of the food next to him closer, only to quickly whip your hand back. the birds around (on) you all flutter at the sudden movement, but you inspect your finger, the blue blood of teyvat welling up. your instinct is to stick it in your mouth, but that doesn’t seem safe considering a bird bit it, so you dab at it with a napkin.
the bird cries and flaps his wings, distraught, and your heart hurts. poor guy, you probably scared him, moving so quickly.
you pull out some chopped almonds from your pocket. the plan was to have them as a snack, but now… you put a few in your palm and close your hand around it, reaching forward to gently run two fingers over the birds back.
the other birds in the area seemed receptive to that, and this one does too, calming down considerably.
you take your hand back, opening your palm to drop the almonds on the floor, nudging them close before backing off.
“there you go,” you murmur, as the bird dips down to inspect the food. “i won’t hurt you.”
you allow yourself a silent cheer when it eats one of the almond pieces.
you see the small bird fluttering around you often, always on the edge of your vision. it’s easy to identify, the purple patch of feathers on its forehead easily standing out, and you’re always certain to push some food over to it. almonds, not birdseed.
the bird is a dark blue-teal, the underside of its wings a softer blue. it’s like no other bird you’ve seen in liyue, something that quickly catches your attention.
you brush some dirt off you as you stand, noting the way the bird immediately looks up from its food, unlike the others, to flap up into the tree you were sitting under.
you crack a smile, carefully reaching a finger for it. you’re slower this time, cautious of its skittish nature, but it lets you approach. when you carefully pet over its head, the birds eyes close.
your smile grows, and you try not to laugh at how confused the bird seems when you pull your hand away.
“i have to go,” you explain. “the millelith… they’re getting too close again. i won’t be able to see you again, little friend.”
the bird chirps, nearly indignant, and you do laugh this time. putting a small piece of almond on the branch in front of it, you wave goodbye to the other birds, seeing the blue one hadn’t touched the almond.
you frown. hopefully it’ll be alright….
xiao watches you until you’re out of sight, and even then, he stays on the branch.
you…. he’d forgotten you were being hunted by the millelith. he’d forgotten the order to look out for you. he’d forgotten the qixing called you a criminal.
who could blame him? it was easy to forget everything at your side, when you carefully ran your fingers over his feathers, scratching at his jaw with the edge of your nail. yes, he was vulnerable as a bird, but it was easy to be vulnerable with you. it was easy to be open, to sing as best he could in this form, to allow himself close enough to see the way your eyes lit up whenever another bird landed on your outstretched finger.
xiao dropped to the ground, morphing back into his human form. predictably, the birds cawed and flew away quickly. he watched them go, his mind contrasting it with how readily they flocked to you.
you…
he turned to the branch he was on, to the small almond piece left behind. the small symbol of your care, of how you recognized that he didn’t touch the birdseed and instead offered him your own food to eat. normally he wouldn’t lower himself to eating off the ground at all, let along bird food, but almonds weren’t awful and you seemed so happy when he ate..
xiao looked back to where you’d gone, to the sandbearer trees swaying in a soft wind.
he allowed his form to fall away and spread his wings, taking flight on the same breeze that urged you along.
perhaps he’d forget his orders for a little while longer, if it meant he could spend that time with you.
perhaps he’d forget his orders for a little longer, if it meant he’d get to spend that time with you.
#m1d : [chats]#m1d : [secrets]#sibling anon#bird!xiao shenanigans#btw he’s pretty in character#you can add a dash of a ‘mysterious calm in the air’ if you wanna be certain but he’s oretty pretty good as is#also! let it be known that i too like fluff!!#< been meaning to write a piece based on hugs ppl would give for a while now#dilucs near the top of the list which is kinda funny considering the shit i’m (hopefully) gonna pot tonight#post* whoop#post-valentines day sadness#this got WAY too long#forgive the old format i wasn’t gonna try n find more photos of liyue than i already have#writing this was hell. thanks tumblr. i really appreciate you glitching out my drafts.#i’m trying to save my writer energy to wrap up dilucs piece COME ON I DONT NEED THIS#had to write this on the website version of tumblr ugh. dislike.#anyway debating adding this to the masterlist bc it’s… so nice…#the vibes….. immaculate….#TUMBLR DELETED HALF MY FUCKING WRITING WHEN IT HIT POST WHAT THE FUCK#THIS IS WHY I WRITE ELSEWHERE THEN COPY PASTE TO THIS HELL#FUCK. IT WAS SO GOOD. WHY.#the last half of xiao’s part at the end is the bad shittier version of what i had written originally#i am bitter. but i guess i’ll have to die mad abt it.#ugh.#it cut off the last paragraph AGAIN WHY#hate. >:(#also mushroom anon send help one of my mutuals is doing a letter event in celebration of his 1k what do i do#ok it’s his 800 celebration but STILL HELP#whatever fuck it i’m done trying to get this to work#fuck it we ball
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cosmocove · 1 month ago
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some bobbles (+ two unfinished things)
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#bonk.png#undescribed#exocolonist#i was a teenage exocolonist#iwatec#iwatex#anyway first thing bc its the shortest i dont think sol would actually id as anything n prefer to be unlabeled#bc of like. the timeloop stuff n every life kind of blending together BUT i think it'd be funny as hell if they were aro#n just never became aware of this bc their self reflection skills in regards to shit unrelated to the loop are That Bad#also im aro n like when characters are aro + love it when characters are kind of deranged about their friends#speaking of which madoka au! forever ago i drew the 🤝 meme with sol n homura n now im coming back to that#its not a 1 to 1 au straight up the commonalities begin n end at ''tammy & sol are kind of like madoka/homura''#stuff i got down for it in a sleep deprived haze were that sol nemmie n tangent were the only magical girls#n tammy hasnt been offered to become one nemmie n tangent arent aware that sol is a magical girl for a while#friendgroup at school is nemmie cal tammy n sol (tangent goes to a different school n is separate until she teams up with nemmie)#nemmie n tang team up bc somehow witch attacks keep being diverted from certain locations n grief seeds are disappearing#which is actually sol's doing theyre moving witches away from areas tammy will be n the grief seeds are to 1. discourage nem n tang from#fighting witches n 2. so sol can stockpile them basically bc they use timetravel a lot n need to keep their gem clean#the timeloop has progress (to an extent) its not a singular month looping its kind of like. video game save mechanics#like reloading the save u have before a bossfight n then if ur not adequately prepared reloading a save u have farther back#n then continuing on until u get stuck on a specific fight again yknow#theres more but moving on to the two unfinished things those are meant to be like a utdr au (specifically dr)#in a similar manner to the previous au of same premise n setting but different story bc theyre different characters#there's a lot less set for this au its entirely just playing in the sand n has nothing beyond vague role assignments#the first one that's like lineart in different colors is entirely scrapped bc i didnt like how it was turning out (meant to be darkworld fit#second one i struggled BADLY with marz oh my god this au is literally primarily for having fun with character designs but oh my god.#as it says there shes meant to be a modern art styled metal monster (got the metal idea from her dads' names n the modern art bc shesrefined#n sleek) but i had no actual idea how to convey that n i was trying to tackle it from a pixel art angle this time n i could notfigure it out#n then nomi nomi was super easy literally didnt even sketch them theyre a tiny pixie im sorry marz T-T#probably not gonna touch on this stuff again cause i was fixing on exo to avoid thinking about my bday but its happened so im fine now 👍
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robotpanties · 6 months ago
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uuuuuhhh no reason just wanna see the robot get preggers because nobody is really taking advantage of the narrative consequences of the robots of ULTRAKILL having fleshy bits inside them (in my humble opinion hahahaha...hahaha....hah....). Anywhosen also a sucker for general Bad End especially when it involves a psycho-sexual (breeding) binding to a greater entity but also I wanna see the murder-robot get knocked up. And the galaxy brain bit of this is instead of calming down they just get Worse.
YEAH NO ONE REALLY TAKES ADVANTAGE OF THAT. and well i mostly assumed a very small percentage of people actually want to breed the robots like that which is why.
also i don't think this as a bad end, but a bad path that can lead to some other.. inch resting things (my stupid ass is trying to craft a plot with horror and drama from this path and how it'd change the story slightly despite knowing I will never get around to writing it in fic form except tiny excerpt ideas and art)
also i have so much to say abt the 'it doesn't calm down it just gets worse' bc its So true
#kicking my legs. it sooo genuinely gets worse i think it believes its actually in “love” with hell. and maybe it is.#gets worse and loses itself more and more. abandon any last trace of identity that had never been regarded anyway by anyone#its easy to let something guide you and instruct you in nearly everything if it feels too painfully good? and why spend more power thinking#altho for the. plot i was conducting in my head it was msotly involving gabriel and the primes bc of an idea my friend gave me which was#that if this occurred before v1 reached the prime sanctums it could have been guided or instructed to go to the sanctums but at the time#it does its currently carrying a child and because of that both the primes and v1 itself are spared because. i dont know if i think#the kings would fight a pregnant person . i at least think sisyphus Wouldnt because wheres the fun in an opponent who appears to already#be disadvantaged. (even if it can fare just fine.)#if any friendships were able to be made (cough . i like sisyphus qnd v1 platonic and romantic) itd be kind of. sad from an outside perspect#ve to watch it deteriorate into being less of its own entity and becoming slowly just another extension of hell. even in fighting it shows.#i wish i could explain it all better#and sorry if this ask is late to be answered i was writing my rwsponse at a con LMAOOO#.txt#ask#i want to write i have no timeee no energyyy but hear me out there is potential for crazy wackjob shit#ive decided also not to kill gabriel i think i should do somethign fucked up with him and his inexperience in relationshios#i forgot who suggested he should get so desperate that he begs for hell to take him as well. (which i cant decide if it would or wouldnt bc#its kind of really funny and mean if it#says no)
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risingsunresistance · 5 months ago
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twitter is entering their "rts > likes" phase now that likes are private after they spent years calling us ungrateful for being demotivated by ratios lmao
#man fuck yall just support artists you enjoy#dont attack people who dont rb/rt your art (hell they might even have it scheduled) but also dont constantly demand ''content'' from people#ESPECIALLY without telling them that you appreciate the effort they put in to show you cool things they made for free#you should've been rt'ing/rb'ing from the START 😒 just show people you care!#im just waiting to scroll through post after post of ppl calling out ''entitled artists'' lmao#btw my opinion on the whole thing is painfully neutral if you couldnt tell#i dont think you should care that much about numbers and ppl take it wayyyyyy too far#throwback to that one guy who personally @ everyone who didnt reblog their art that was CRAZY. i would straight up report you KJFGHKG#i also understand and have personally experienced how much engagement can change your mood#a simple ''i love this!'' can make someone's day. it's not hard to understand why ppl like engagement#when they make post after post without so much as a little tag they dont care about sharing anymore#the fact that people call that ''entitlement'' is also crazy#i have a lot of drawings i havent posted or just left nonrebloggable bc it really doesnt make a difference lmao#the only ones i leave rebloggable are the ones that i Know will do well and get attention. like the little pig redraw#if it's cute or funny it gets positive attention. anything else is shit on here lmao#it's just not as fun to share. it either leads to no engagement or negative engagement#would rather have nothing than something rude so whatever#some ppl say it's always been like this but no it absolutely was not always like this#idk what exactly caused the change. probably a lot of factors#could even just be the fandoms i hang around in! but considering i've seen the same sentiment from a bunch of ppl i doubt it's that#the best solution to no engagement is to just make friends and have fun#but 90% of the internet is hostile and negative and rude for no fucking reason#when i unfollowed someone on my old public twitter and they @ me over it. damn i dont know why but NOW i know why 😭#this post has gone way off course im just ranting at this point. i havent talked in a while hi how have you guys been#work was a lot yesterday and today is too slow (im not at work im just going crazy in my house)#(and i cant leave my house bc there's construction blocking the road someone save me)#chat
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moongothic · 11 months ago
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You know I realize I forgot to mention this before in the Crocodile Power Level Speculation Post/Ask (btw I did go back to edit it so it's actually legible and has a point now lmao)
I really wanna know if Croc has any new tricks with his hook
Like in Alabasta the dude had a poison hook under his regular hook, which was also hiding a tiny blade beneath it as well. This is all fine and dandy, absolutely iconic etc etc
And then we never see him reuse either feature again.
Now to be fair, the only other time we could've seen Crocodile use them would've been in Marineford, but the dude just escaped from prison. Although people are quick to meme about the Marines being 'kind enough' to let Crocodile keep his gigantic fucking hook in prison-- If we're being realistic here, they probably let him keep the base of the hook simply because without a hand any shackle would just slide off his wrist and fall off. Of course he wouldn't still be able to escape or anything since he'd still have the Seastone cuff on his right, but if they wanted to keep him properly shackled then letting him keep even just the hook base would just be the easiest option for the Marines.
It's the fact that the Marines went out of their way to retrieve his missing hook attachment and gave it back to him that's a bit wild
But let's keep in mind that Luffy did break the poison hook back in Alabasta. Even if the Marines let Croc keep the hook attachment, I find it extremely unlikely they would've gone out of their way to fix/replaced the poison hook when the guy's going to jail anyways. If anything it'd make far more sense if they got rid of whatever poison might've still been left in the base and confiscated the blade. Like there's an argument to be made for the Marines letting Crocodile keep his hook due to disability reasons, but the poison and the purely stabby weapon? Not so much
So really, it's very likely the reason Crocodile never used his other weapons in Marineford might've just been that he literally didn't have them on him at the time, just the basic hook
But hey, it's been two whole whooping years. That would be plenty of time for him to replace the broken hook and blade and get some new poison into the hook base too while he's at it
Or
Are there any new weapons Crocodile could've gotten inserted into his hook base that he could whip out
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Like just because he could get a new poison hook it doesn't mean he has to get a poison hook, same for the blade as well, right
To be fair, dude feels very old fashioned so I'm not expecting any Inspector Gadget kinda tech from him. Like I don't think Crocodile's knowledgeable about stuff like that himself, at least not enough to install any technically advanced weaponry into the hook on his own, and IDK if he'd trust his hook with anyone to "upgrade it" either for an extended period of time either
But could you imagine if Croc had gotten access to a busted ass Pacifista and stole a laser and had it built into his hook base. He just pulls of the hook and starts blasting people with the laser. How fucking funny would that be. Franky eat your heart out
#Moon posting#OP Meta#Sir Crocodile#A machine gun inside his hook would also be funny as hell but. Dude can create giant sand blades what does he need a gun for#Honestly I think the coolest and unironically the most useful new hidden weapon Croc could potentially have in his hook base#Would be some kind of a Seastone weapon. Like a Seastone Hook or a blade or even just a stick like Smoker's#That shit would be so OP but also make him such a massive threat. Like much more than his poison hook ever did#It's just where the fuck would he even get a custom Seastone weapon to build in to his hook#Like it's the WG who hoards the shit for themselves so getting one would not be easy. Or cheap#Since you can't just make stuff out of Seastone yourself like you need specialists for it etc#But like I said. I think it'd be the coolest fucking thing he could possibly whip out#Aside from a Pacifista Beam but lmao that ain't happening as funny as it'd be#For the record yes it is possible Croc's hook isn't detachable at all#I just have to question how he ever changes clothes if he can't even take the hook off#Also for the record. Croc's hook could've been treated the same way his clothes were treated in Impel Down#Like Oda totally could've just drawn him without the hook and then just told us in the SBS the Newkama had stolen it from the guards#And returned it to Crocodile after he escaped since he could use it etc. While he got some fresh clothes to wear etc#Like that totally could've been an off-screen thing that could've happened. But if it was something that unimportant then why even bother#He might as well keep the hook for the brief scene in the jail cell because it doesn't actually matter for the narrative
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wonderwomanpleasesteponme · 2 years ago
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Transformers Animated Swap au.
(Be warned any ficlets of this au is written in no particular order and some things may be subject to change as I progress with this au)
Along Came a Spider
The Space bridge repair crew have been on Earth long enough for the seasons to have changed. According to Sari the humans have this tradition called Halloween that seemingly lasts the whole month of October but is really just the last day of the month, only artist celebrate the whole month with a practice known as Inktober. Which is why Bulkhead, Wasp, Sari and Elita-1 were at a pumpkin patch picking out which pumpkin they would like to crave. Well, only Sari, Wasp and Bulkhead were choosing pumpkins, Elita was staring at the faint fake spider hanging above the entrance of the pumpkin patch.
Memories of that awful day were threatening to resurface after years of trying her damnist to forget them. Elita may have been on the fast track to becoming a member of the Elite Guard at one point in her life but after Archa 7 Elita tried to forget about that and and pretend that she was always a maintenance bot. If she knew Earth had spiders she would have reconsidered staying on Earth for a long as they have and went full force with repairing their ship but now it was too late for that.
Elita shuttered at the fake spider and returned with the rest of the group. Soon after Bulkhead accidentally destroying the pumpkin that Wasp and Sari picked out and Wasp playfully making fun of Bulkhead for it. Bulkhead's expression sored a little bit but soon brightened back up. From what Elita understood Wasp and Bulkhead were apart of the same platoon back when they were in Autobot boot camp, that Wasp wasn't the nicest of bots back then and that something happened that, from what she could infer from Bulkhead and Wasp's arguments was Wasp's fault, that Bulkhead and his best friend from boot camp wer sperated to never see each other again. It painfully reminded her of the friendship she once had with Optimus and Sentinel before Archa 7, but thankfully their time on Earth and with Sari's interference the two have begun the slow process of actually becoming friends.
When they got back to base the trio immediately started to think of what they should dress up as.
"Oh, Wasp, you should dress up as a fuzzy little bumblebee, since you know you're like a, well wasp, and bumblebees are like wasps but cuter and still pack a sting!"said Sari full of energy.
Bulkhead's face dropped and turned into one of somber while Wasp's flashed with anger for a moment.
"No," said Wasp bluntly and a little too quickly.
"Yeah Bumblebee did have quite the sting," whispered Bulkhead in a quite tone that no one else in the room heard.
Sari's smile faded upon seeing Wasp and Bulkhead's reactions.
"Or maybe you could go as a vampire?" asked Sari nervously.
"Of crouse I would," said Wasp whose expression immediately softened up.
After a few more hours and the team accidentally discovering Elita had a fear of spiders when Sari decided to prank her with a toy spider, Wasp, Sari and Bulkhead were all ready to go. Bulkhead had somehow found a sheet big enough to fit his whole body to complete his ghost costume and falling through with his promise Wasp was dressed as a vampire. Sari had said that her costume was a surprise so she didn't tell them what she was going as until she arrived fully dressed. Elita was definitely surprised when Sari showed up dressed up as her. A cardboard box was wrapped around her little buddy drawn and coloured to look like Elita's body and she was even wearing a blonde wig in a ponytail to emulate Elita's head.
After her failure on Archa 7 to save her best friend, someone she would dare to call her brother, Elita didn't think that anyone would be looking up to her, unless they were shorter than her which was true for Sari, but here Sari was dressed up as her to go trick or treating with the two youngest members of their team. Elita had said that she was flattered but she wasn't going with them.
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It had only taken a few hours for everything to go to scrap. Elita was listening into Wasp and Bulkhead's conversation via their com links when she heard that Wasp had spotted something that resembled a giant spider. Upon hearing that Elita had immediately let her easdropping known and left for their current location.
Elita and Optimus were defending themselves from the giant organic spiders that were surrounding them from all sides. They had no other choice but to blow up the energon that was stored in the Decepticon warship. While escaping the explosion the worst happened. Optimus' grapple missed it's mark, which until then was something that had never happened, and the young autobot fell to his death. If it wasn't the explosion that killed him the spiders definitely did. Primus did Elita hope the explosion is what offlined her old friend and he wasn't eaten by the spiders.
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Suddenly a giant spider dropped down in between Wasp and Bulkhead. Bulkhead was frozen in shock while Wasp immediately activated his stingers and took aim at the giant spider. Shocking everyone there even more than they already were the giant spider transformered into a 'bot. It transformered.
The first thing they noticed about the mech in front of them was that he had two long spider legs that shot up attached to his back and the back half of a spider attached to his waist. The mech was painted black and purple with gold highlights with some dark blue thrown in. The next thing they noticed was that he had four eyes, each glowing in a menacing red. The final thing the trio noticed was the Decepticon logo on his neck armor, the logo itself looked beaten up and had scratch marks all around like if the 'con had tried to remove it.
The 'con moved fast and in a blink of an optic was right in front of Wasp.
"Now hold still so my friend could actually see you this time!"yelled Wasp, calling Bulkhead had a bitter taste in his intake after everything he had did to him.
The 'con looked a Wasp lowering himself to the minibot's eye level. Wasp was taken aback by this, not just the fact the menacing 'con was now making eye contact with him but the look in the 'con's optics. Wasp didn't know how to describe it, the 'con somehow looked tired, angry, calm and sad at the same time.
"I'm not here for you two I'm here for something else, something that, probably wouldn't give me fully my old life back but something close, and an escape," said the 'con, even though he sounded calm on the surface but he underneath the calmness he sounded tired.
"I'm not sure we have what in the Pit you're talking about but we have nothing that could help you and if we did we won't help a 'con like you," spat Wasp taking aim at the larger bot in front of him.
The 'con laughed at the smaller bot's comment before turning his body to look at Sari. That was when it hit them he was after the key.
"You're not taking my friend's key!"yelled Bulkhead as he turned servo into a wrecking ball and started to go into place to swing it.
Before either of them could make a move the 'con had sturked them both with some kind of vemon that knocked them out.
"I wasn't asking," said the 'con coldly.
The 'con turned to the little girl and tried to give her a reassuring smile, which failed miserably seeing as that he had just knocked out two of her friends and he had razor sharp teeth.
"Don't worry they're not dead just unconscious," said the 'con as Sari tried to use her key to wake them up, "also my vemon is organic and the key of yours doesn't work on organics".
Sari looked up at the 'con that was towering her with fear in her eyes.
"What do you want?" Sari asked with wide eyes.
"I think I said that already, I'm looking for something to give me an escape and my old life back," said the 'con, "and I think that key of yours would be helpful in that".
Sari was unsure of what to think the 'con seemed genuinely upset about something and angry lashing out at anyone and anything. But, then again he had hurt her friends but they did went to attack him first.
The 'con dropped down on one knee to be closer to Sari's height. He tried to give her a soft soft smile before beginning to speak once more.
"The others back on the warship called me The Black Spider, I had a different designation a long time ago but now that's in the past," said Black Spider sounding genuinely sad while telling Sari he used to have a different name in the past.
Black Spider suddenly got up and went to grab Sari's but before he could Elita had arrived and tackled him to the ground. The two begun to fight with Black Spider pinning Elita to the side of the building.
"Look, Elita, I just want that key to try something," said Black Spider through gritted teeth.
Elita looked surprised for a moment before regaining her composure.
"How do you know my name?" Elita asked the larger 'bot.
"Everycon knows the name of the 'bot who supposedly defeated and offlined Megatron," said Black Spider but for a moment he also seemed surprised to be asked that.
Black Spider picked Elita up and threw her before making a break towards Sari. Black Spider used his webbing to tie Sari up before using it make to escape.
"Sorry, change of plans," said Black Spider to the frightened child.
Sari struggled against the 'con before Elita using Wasp's stings managed to hit Black Spider sending both of them crashing on the top of a building. Upon getting up Black Spider gently put Sari down onto the ground before using his webs to tie her to a wall. As soon as Elita landed the two immediately began to fight each other.
"I know all of your moves, Elita, pure textbook Autobot Academy," said Black Spider as he dodged all of Elita's attacks.
"Do I know you?" Elita asked genuinely confused on how he knew all her moves.
"I don't forget things as easily as you forget your friends!" Black Spider spat with venom in his voice, "but you did manage to remember Sentinel!".
Elita's energon ran cold as she finally recognized her combatten.
"Optimus?" Elita hesitatedly asked.
"Oh now you remember me, not that I blame you I look every different nowadays," said Black Spider sounding rather sad whilst confirming his identity to be that of Elita's long thought dead friend.
Elita took a step back her head was figuratively spinning because of this knew information. Elita looked saddened at the Decepticon symbol on his neck armor.
"I see you've joined the Decepticons," said Elita sadden to see her former friend join the Decepticons.
"Not like I had a choice in the matter!" Black Spider yelled dangerously close to breaking down while falling to his knees.
Elita approached her former friend and placed her hands on his shoulders in other to comfort him. Elita took note of how he flinched when she placed her hands on his shoulders. She will hurt whoever made him so afraid.
"Then tell me, old friend what happened?" Elita asked with genuine care and sadness in her voice.
Black Spider embraced into Elita's touch. Elita could tell that Black Spider was severely touch starved. Elita was definitely going to hurt someone. When Black Spider remained silent Elita asked again.
"Who did this to you?"
"That son of a glitch Decepticon scientist, Shockwave, he did this to me!" Black Spider yelled.
Black Spider wrapped both of his arms around Elita's stomach area and pulled her into a tight hug. This was a genuinely distressing for Sari to watch. She wondered what kind of horrors took place during the war that the others didn't tell her.
"After I fell, I tried my best to fend off the spiders but eventually a good number of them bit me sinking their venom into my body, I should have died, but instead I went into a sort of stasis lock mode, and when I awoke I was in a laboratory strapped to a medical breth with a purple warframe with one optic and clawed servos
"I immediately recognized that he was a victim of the empurata procedure, which has been banned by the high council after the war had ended so I knew that he was an old 'bot that likely has been around since before the war, I later learnt that his name was Shockwave, I slipped in and out of conscience for the next few solar cycles and each time I woke up I was different, he turned me into some techno-organic freak!
"After being fully situated with my 'new and improved', as he called it, body they branded me with the decepticon logo and forced me to be one of them, I didn't want to but I had no choice because even if I somehow escaped I would never be expected back into Autobot society as part organic, you know how much the others hate anything organic," Black Spider explained sounding like he was going to snap any moment.
Black Spider's story was a truly upsetting one to hear. Sari was shock to find out that most Cybertronians hate organics but was thankful that she meant the ones that did like them. Sari felt truly bad for Black Spider and wished she could help him, maybe she'll let him try use the key on himself to see if it could restore his original body or at least fix his broken mind, even then Sari knew you can't just magic away trauma.
"Nonsense you were practically Ultra Magnus' sparkling even before we joined Autobot Academy together," said Elita whilst giving her broken friend a hug.
"No, he would be the first to say that they need to lock me up and experiment on me," said Black Spider looking up at Elita from where he was kneeling.
Elita looked away from her old friend, she didn't know Ultra Magnus how he would take something like this or respond to it.
"Look, Optimus-".
"It's Black Spider now,".
"Black Spider, there's always a place for you in team E-1, I'm sure the others wouldn't mind, I'm sure they'll give you a nice warm welcome, maybe not Wasp but I'm sure with some encouragement from the others he'll come around," said Elita to the kneeling mech and saying the last bit with Wasp with slight humor.
Black Spider looked up at Elita before beginning to raise.
"Maybe one day I'll take you up on that offer, but for now I'll like to figure things out on my own," replied Black Spider.
Soon after getting up and unbinding Sari from the wall he left. Elita looked guilt ridden, angry and sad, mostly sad though. Sari felt like Elita wouldn't want to talk about what had just happened so for now Optimus being Black Spider and the Cybertronian equivalent of a human experiment was going to be a secret between the two of them, at least until Elita was ready to talk.
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The two made their way down the building just when Bulkhead and Wasp arrived.
"Aww come on, we missed the action!" exclaimed Wasp.
The two females didn't say anything to Bulkhead and Wasp which tipped them off to the fact that they didn't want to talk about whatever had happened. Without a word Elita transformed into vehicle mode while Sari claimed into Bulkhead and begun their trip back to the plant and Bulkhead's to Sumdac Tower to drop Sari off.
"Hey Bulkhead, how would you take it if one day your best friend whom you thought was dead suddenly showed up one day and was a decepticon?" Sari asked the large 'bot.
"I would never recover from the fact my best friend was a decepticon and spend way too long grieving over the person I thought I knew," replied Bulkhead thinking about his boot camp days.
'That is what I've been doing for stellar cycles now,' Bulkhead mentally added.
Sari fell silent and the rest of the ride was like that in complete silence. Both Sari and Elita hoped that sooner rather than later Black Spider would take Elita's offer of becoming a member of the team up.
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thatgoddamngingerundercut · 9 months ago
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I love the original mv for I need u cuz like it’s got everything. Substance abuse, self harm, suicidal ideation, depression, violence, domestic assault, arson, general mayhem, fucking murder, finding solace in friendship, the freedom of unsupervised youth, and homoerotic subtext all set to an early 2010s pop ballad about missing the girl they broke up with and being upset about it
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despiteherself · 4 months ago
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ok what i DO love about the httyd fandom is that every time i go into the tags is i see a bunch of wacky ass posts that are like “i love this *thing that never happened*” or like “httyd is soooo good bc *thing that was a major plot point* never happened” and I’m like WOW. cool place
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