#that shit just takes your life away
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i hate you consumer culture i hate you cult of productivity i hate you imposition of life at a frenzied pace
#in a grumpy mood today sorry#that shit just takes your life away#i'm not being hypocritical and i work a lot bc i genuinely want to create and do as much as possible in this life#i believe that we only live once and that gives life meaning to me and reminds that there's only one chance to do what i want#and i crave money only bc:#i want (need actually) to emigrate asap and this requires a lot of fucking money#b) i want to be able to cover my basic fucking needs#c) i want to spend money on charity and do my best to change things for better#d) i want to be able to realize my art projects i want to print books zines do exhibitions and other things#f) i want to travel and see the world for the christ's sake#but i hate consumer culture and i hate cult of productivity#because productivity without purpose is! fucking! meaningless!#âgrowth for growth's sake is cancerâ
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Prompt:
Itâs not that Jason forgot, per se.
But between smuggling a toddler out of the League of Assassins, trekking halfway across the world, and finding a suitable hiding place thatâs also child friendly⊠well, it kind of slipped his mind that heâs supposed to be⊠dead.
Something that comes back to bite him in the ass when he takes Dami out for some ice cream and just so happens to run into non other than Brucie-fucking-Wayne
#look Iâve found a new fave trope and itâs Brucie Wayne having to keep up his act while internally LOSING HIS SHIT#Jason isnât very into the whole revenge thing here#his mind is 85 parts âkeep Dami safeâ 5 parts âkill joker asapâ and 10 parts âavoid bats at any costâ#Jason doesnât know who Damianâs father is#dealerâs choice if Jason establishes himself as Damiâs dad or older brother#his build certainly makes him look old enough#if you donât look at his baby face lol#Jason runs into Brucie and goes straight into survival mode#Damian who is very observant for a toddler immediately clocks Brucie as THREAT based on Jasonâs reaction#Brucie blue screens and desperately tries not to lose Jason in the crowd#jason is absolutely trying to lose Brucie in the crowd#while clutching Damian like his life depends on it#for all he knows it does#the visceral terror that your pseudo dad will take away your little brother/baby#Bruce who just wants to know if heâs hallucinating again: W A I T#jason who is terrified of being put in Arkham for killing people: no FUCKING WAY#hm maybe Jason plays the âIâm not Jasonâ game again#itâs not gonna hold for long#but Bruce absolutely thinks that Damian is Jasonâs bio child for a while and heâs on the WARPATH#Jason was sixteen when he died and never showed any interest in dating so literally every red flag is waving in brucieâs mind simultaneousl#or maybe Jason manages to get away and all Brucie is left with is the memory of his supposedly dead son#running away from him#and clutching a tiny kid#prompts#jason todd#batfamily#Damian wayne#batdad#brucie wayne
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yall are about to piss me off by not having any PASSING basic knowledge of the way the u.s. military manipulates its recruits into joining by typing up one of your uninformed, unresearched, unempathetic, individualistic, unbelievably annoying posts about how 100% of the people in the military ended up there because they just Love America So Damn Much! they're extremely mature and informed at time of recruitment, they can totally leave anytime they want, they totally had tons of other avenues in life they could've taken, there was no rush at all to get income as fast as possible, and everyone in the military also totally is part of the combat divisions and personally enjoys being IN the military very much, big believers of violence. everyone in the military is shooting guns all day, that's how that works. they LOVE BLOODSHED. also I love the "amewicans haha" twang to this type of shit because you're actually TOTALLY stealing our Thing, which is turning systemic issues into Individual Issues. Instead of talking about the powers that be, it's so Personal Choice up in here. It's, "well you shouldn't have done it then. I totally wouldn't because I know better." you don't wanna talk about the military industrial complex as a whole, and you don't want to talk about recruiters, you just want to pin the blame on Specific Individual People one-by-one, as if they're responsible for the system that they're being ground up in. someone was in the military? bad person, no matter what. it's easier to believe that, I guess, than to acknowledge that Normal People (with high school educations) are manipulated and incentivized into joining a system that is Bad. at like age 18. but yeah no that 18 year old should have just been smarter lol haha anyway here are some screenshots for no particular reason
side note this reply of someone going "umm just get loans and go into a high paying field it's easy XD" as a direct response to someone trying to explain how most americans joining the military are being funneled in that direction out of a need for money.
and another person who Decided that americans join the military just CLENCHING their teeth thinking of other people, and not thinking completely selfishly about their own selves and their own income/housing/healthcare.
#I had a longer post w more bullshit in it but ukw nobody's even gonna read THIS one. so.#dumb ass cunts seriously LMAO just the individualism of it all....#we're all just selectively forgetting that most people join the military straight out of high school / after failing to kickstart#their lives so they don't know shit yet and they are categorically not educated and don't have money#you NEED money and have been groomed by recruiters ALREADY into believing this is#The Best and Only to make a survivable amount of money without a college education-- bc they can't afford college btw#and they don't want to take on student debt either bc everyone already knows what a big fuckeroo that is#recruiters WILL DO ANYTHING TO GET YOU TO JOIN. they will KEEP CALLING YOU. they'll answer your questions#to make it sound like this is going to be a GREAT life decision. you can get all KINDS of jobs (true)#they love to say the thing about how only about 15% of the military will actually see combat in any way#they love to list all the jobs where you will literally just be working at an office or a pharmacy or in tech etc etc etc#the recruiters are offering housing healthcare steady pay and BONUSES if you sign on for longer.#so you let your guard down because you were so scared of the actual fighting. BECAUSE YOU'RE 18 IN THIS SCENARIO BTW.#you cunts will not meet anyone who hates the military as much as people who are NOW DONE working in the military#you don't know enough when they get you and then either you stay placated by the benefits or you scramble away as fast as possible#the number one military haters are people who know what goes on bc they already did it#source: I LIVE NEXT TO A MILITARY BASE LMAO PEOPLE HATE IT HERE!! they are NORMAL PEOPLE#I need you to get it into your head that the people committing atrocities in war were NORMAL when they joined#and that for every person in the military who's actively shedding blood there's 20 who do PAPERWORK#and they both are being put in the same category by you!! and they are BOTH being controlled by the same system!!#sergle.txt#I hate yall I really do.
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Honestly I see Jimmy's refusal to put Curly out of his misery less about his weird feelings of envy or his delusions but the fact Curly is all but stated to be a shield to Jimmy from his actions and people seeing the worst in him.
The only characters that Jimmy really interacts with one on one before the crash are Curly and Anya, two individuals he has wildly different relationships with. It's likely that Curly really did most of the talking between them as the pilots and the rest of the crew as staff. They didn't know of Jimmy's more reprehensible behaviors cause they never really had the chance to and Jimmy is subconsciously aware. If they had disliked him more than Anya would have told Swansea earlier or even Daisuke when things got really bad.
It's why he takes the immediate opportunity to blame Curly; He's the shield. He's saved Jimmy's ass more times than he can count and more times than Jimmy would ever admit. Even when he can't really do it anymore, he mentally shields himself from his own faults by putting Curly between them. Letting Curly die puts too much on him because he doesn't know how to function without a safety net.
In the end Curly only lives because Jimmy needs the idea that Curly will inevitably make things better to stay alive, meaning Curly has to live, no matter how much it pains him to do so.
#in short Jimmy doesnt only care about Curly#he only cares about the securtiy that Curly provides him#and i headcanon that the reason he tried to kill everyone is because he knew it was only a matter of time befor Curly realized this wasnt#somethgin benign Jimmy did that he could smooth over but somethign that Curly would repremand and condem him for and take his security away#like yes Curly did not react fast enough or strongly enough to what Anya told him but you could see him showing more concern over it as I d#understand the psychology behind people and more specifically men like Curly as he is hearing something horrible his friend did to someone#he cares about but has less of a bond with. he feels the need to protect his crew as people first and sadly Jimmy is still the person he wa#closest too yet I still think everything happened too fast for Curly to process as would you not grapple with the fact your closest friend#is a monster you must personally deal with? or that he did something so vile to someone else you have become protective over? Would you not#think of the relative power that friend holds and how if you approuch this wrong it could end badly for everyone? He had all these thoughts#but not enough time to think about them. Also how Jimmy was one of the main people in his personal life he felt a need to protect seeing as#he got him this job. Like imagine the one person you are really trying to make good is still bad after everythign and now you have to be th#hand of judgment youve shielded them from for so long like I do not think Curly handeled the initial situation with Anya correctly I dont#think it was the case of him not believing but not really knowing what to do and feel about it as a friend of both parties the captain and#guy going through his own shit and it says so much that he was dealing with all that so well compared to Jimmy who got everyone killed cuz#he thought being captain would be like sitting on the thrown and not emotionally mentally and physically taxing like I cant say Curly is th#best person due to his inaction but he is a good person doing the best with the knowledge and shitty resources he has cuz like also Id just#be terrified that my suicidal and nilihst bestie who clearly has an inferiority complex around me is the copilot who has access to the most#to the most important parts of the ship and the means to kill us all if he feels like him or his security are being threatened like#Anya and Curly just deserved better because they get put through the ringer like just put him in a class to teach him to be less trusting#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing anya#mouthwashing jimmy#jimmy mouthwashing#mouthwashing spoilers
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it's always so funny to me when i get a new follower and they have shit like "proship DNI!!11!1!1" in their bio or pinned post. like brother my blog is not a safe space for you (neither is the entirety of the real world, but I don't think you people are ready for that conversation. on account of being probably 12 years old. cus that's what you're acting like.)
"censorship is bad" should not be a radical take in the year 2024. stop trying to sanitise the internet into some uber-puritan, ultra-virtuous, squeaky clean space. like what are you, catholic? i beg of you- grow up.
#shut up rowan#proship#proship safe#anti anti#anti censorship#i know I'm gonna lose followers for this#and I'm probably going to receive (at the very least) some threats from children online that don't know better#but i am so tired of this bullshit#if you can't be mature enough to navigate the Internet without getting fucked up over a picture of two fictional siblings fucking or smthn#then this space is not for you#the internet at large is not for you#real life real world spaces are not for you#if you want to avoid that shit go live in a hole underground#that's the only way you'll ever be able to fully get away#just take responsibility for your own online experience#block tags block people block websites and keywords and search terms if you have to#but expecting everyone else in the world to conform to your warped views on morality is childish and short sighted#ok im done ranting now srry
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lately ive been thinking about the contrast going on in Early Lime where hes like "tbh im pretty sure i could have any girl i wanted including mochi i mean i guess if she wanted we could give it a shot one day but i dont really care lol" and then very easily becoming completely unhinged for her the second he gets a tinge of romantic affection
#lime: yeah mochis not a huge deal i mean were friends#af (after affection) lime: *needs to dunk his head in the sink at least once a week trying to snap himself out of thinking about her*#anyway. its been a while since them i miss them#my recent development is taking away limes mochi cuddle time#it makes more sense for the slow burn if he cant cuddle with her whenever he wants#starve him#lime: (why would i like her shes so plain shouldnt i be with like some supermodel or something ??)#lime: (the kind of person everyone wants but cant have??)#also lime when mochi smiles at him: (i want to kiss the shit out of you)#i think there something about limes family where being a goldwood means being expected to be a cut above#where its ingrained they should only be/settle for the best of the best#so lime catching feelings for this (pre-reveal) very normal and plain forgettable girl that no one else seems to give a shit about..#...is a struggle for him#tiramisu thinks its laughable because the goldwoods arent part of the magic community#she thinks its hilarious how they are lowkey obsessed with being successful and top-notch when they literally have no idea whats going on#i dont think the goldwoods are even especially rich#maybe its just one of those (parents being hard on you so you can have a better life than they did) kind of things#but they are known to be a well-connected and beautiful family#any goldwood you meet i the prettiest person youve ever seen#i wonder if they were disappointed or proud of lime when they found out he joined the capitol guard#his sister became a dentist#maybe it was one of those (why would you join the military...youre going to struggle...)#and then he tells them his paycheck and all of a sudden theyre like (we're so proud!!!)#(the capitol guard in general has pretty normal pay but the m-34th gets way more as a specialized unit)
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I'm still not well so this isn't going to be articulate, but I wanted to say something anyway.
In the wake of Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies (amongst other titles) being purged from streaming I've seen countless posts saying "This is terrible, we need to stop this practice -- they might purge a good show next!" and yeah, for sure a lot of titles being impacted by streaming purges/lack of physical media/a decline in archiving right now aren't going to be remembered for changing the world.
However, I think it is vital that we fight to preserve these titles for their own sake not just because "What if next time it's something we actually like?!" There is value is preserving things widely regarded as "bad" not just because I have firm beliefs about the absurdity of taste, but because who gives a shit if something is deemed "good?" Actual human people put their time and energy into realising these artistic visions. Even if the results are arguably not "good" or "popular", should the efforts of these artists be lost to the sands of time? No, no they fucking shouldn't.
I share a lot of art on this blog from titles very few people consider culturally important or valuabe. However, I don't look at the things I collect & share like that. Even some of the most objectively absurd titles I own are still pieces of art that were developed, published, and consumed by humans in the real world. Whether they've turned out to be broadly memorable or not is irrelevant because they existed and that in itself makes them worthy of preservation so that others can choose to familiarise themselves with them long after the original creative team is gone.
So yes, we should all be trying to preserve the media that's important to us and not let corporations try to stamp out every trace of a financial (though not necessarily artistic) misstep. However, it shouldn't take the threat of something we, personally, like being taken away to stir us into giving a shit.
Even the demise of less admired works should concern us and make us start to burn copies of Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies because it might not mean anything to you or I right now, but to some kid in 20 years it could be a seminal experience that leads them to follow their dreams. Or it could become a cult classic that people reflect on at watch parties years in the future. Or it could continue to be a footnote in the history of television that nobody really cares about.
Ultimately I don't think it matters what level of value we arbitrarily assign to media now or in the future, we should be trying to preserve as much of it as possible so that generations from now people can enjoy the option of engaging with these titles should they so wish.
#personal#idk i just feel strongly that even trash should be allowed to exist#and all of us be able to access it if we so choose#some of the most meaningful film experiences of my life have involved B movies and other âlowâ culture properties#i'm not well enough to even start rambling about high and low culture and the rich#but as an audience we should be able to select what we want to consume#and we should be able to access it regardless of local laws or cultural norms#that's why the efforts of archivists and media preservationists from the lost media wiki to the louvre are so important#âbut this spongebob ad had no impact on society who cares if it is accessible or not?â#you can't determine the value of something based solely on your own experience with it#so yeah spongebob ads and episodes of wheel of fortune should continue to exist#and so should the trashiest shoujo manga in the world#god and i haven't even touched on how disproportionately things like this affect work by artists of colour#queer artists and disabled artists#it's super fucking shit and i refuse to let streaming take away these media choices#ok back to my covid sick bed#archiving and media preservation#(since posting this the series has received a home video release which is nice but the work continues)
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Hey if youâre still enjoying and engaging with Harry Potter in any capacity you can unfollow me đ please and thank you
Like. I get it. I was super into it as a kid too. I did not have the social context to pick up on the antisemitism or transphobia or sexism or fatphobia or bioessentialism or racism or anything else. I also picked up on surface-level language of Fighting Back Against Evil and ascribed my own values onto what that meant and thought we were all on the same page. I remember when the original kids who grew up with the books started becoming adult fans and picking up on the (blatant!) antisemitism and everybody was still mostly willing to give JKR the benefit of the doubt on it. (âShe was writing kids books!â They said. âShe didnât know she was penning a global phenomenon! She picked a common literary trend in European fairy tales (antisemitic caricature) and didnât examine it closely. Itâs a mistake anyone could make,â we said. âShe would probably do things differently now. After all, she word-of-god confirmed the vaguest hints she dropped that Dumbledore might be gay,â we said.) There was actually a span of several years where biases inherent in the actual real content of the Harry Potter series were coming to light and even the people pointing them out still seemed mostly to think it was an unfortunate accident.
That time has passed. Years ago! We are long past the first months of âmaybe she doesnât realize this seemingly-feminist tweet she liked was made by a noted TERFâ and then âhow could she not realize that these many veiled TERF-y things sheâs retweeted have implications for the many queer fans of her workâ and finally âoh wow okay JKR just dropped an entire transphobic manifesto on twitter. I guess the transphobia was the point.â
Yeah, there were a few months after that where people were still processing and still working through how they felt about Harry Potter and all of its flaws with the context of the now open transphobia of the creator. I was there for that. Remember how I was one of the kids who built it up into something noble and worthwhile based on my own beliefs about what messages it was probably trying to convey? Turns out it wasnât trying to say any of those things, and when you take the time to examine all of the terrible shit that made its way into the text whether JKR intended it to be there or not, the whole series falls apart. Itâs weird to discover that thereâs a room in your house thatâs rotten to the core, but eventually you figure out you canât live like that, still going in there and holding your nose and pretending itâs still the same room you thought it was when the termites were only inside of the walls and hadnât yet started chewing their way through the furniture. Because whatâs going to happen is that they are going to infest the rest of your house. If you decide you can ignore transphobia and antisemitism and everything else just because you liked the color of the wallpaper, the rest of your principles are going to crumble too. You get rid of that fucking room. You put those books on a high shelf in the back of your closet behind other outgrown clothes and interests and you move the fuck on.
JKR uses the money made from her transphobic antisemitic childrenâs books to actively funding hate groups and to lobby for legislation that will and has actually affected the actual lives of trans people in an entire country. We are past the point of grieving something you were wrong about in childhood. Kids are wrong about a lot of stuff. You grow up and you learn new information and you change your behaviors based on it. You have to choose. It is transphobic to pretend there is not transphobia where there is. It is transphobic to support the work of someone who is using those funds to take rights from trans people with every fucking dollar. It is hateful to continue to engage positively with a story that at its very core is rooted in hate and bigotry and prejudice. You can choose to do all of those things but you cannot claim ignorance of them and you cannot choose those things and still pretend that choosing them upholds the values we convinced ourselves that Harry Potter stood for over a decade ago as uninformed children. You cannot choose to do those things and pretend to still support your trans and queer and Jewish neighbors. I do not want you in my neighborhood. Leave.
#mine#Harry potter cw#yeah I donât want to see or think about this shit either and Iâm sure most of my followers are on the same page of just like. letâs wipe it#from the public consciousness and do our best to just completely ignore it and forget it existed and in doing so take away JKRs platform and#influence and also stop the continued harm the series will do by propagated hateful biases in people who continue to read it#but despite heavily culling my feed over the course of the past several years and thankfully mostly not seeing HP fandom things anymore#Iâve been seeing a lot of responses today to people defending it and honestly I forget that there are still people out there doing that who#think they are just fine and normal fandom people with non-hateful and terrible interests and it makes me so angry#maybe more so because like. I was there too! I was annoyingly obsessed with Harry Potter from the ages of idk seven? up until whenever JKR#started being openly transphobic. I have so much fucking knowledge about this book series that will never leave my brain. and yeah it was#weird and hard to have to rethink things and realize that no actually it does feel bad and uncomfortable to continue to be a fan even#passively of these books. it was a big part of my childhood and several of my friendships. I fully get it. I was the weird kid also.#it was weird and hard to say oh actually this sucks and I donât want to be a part of it anymore. but I did it! I got there! because it was#more important to care about real actual things and people than it is to fondly remember a book series for children.#and at the time it felt like maybe I did hang on a little longer than I could have and was a little later than some people and figuring out#my feelings and moving on from the whole thing. but it was still fucking years ago. and youâre still here?#because you like the color of the wallpaper in this shitty rotten broken down tacked on room? because we used to spend time there together?#buddy the room was giving us lead poisoning the whole time and the rest of us have accepted that and we are all outside doing other things.#you will find connection and community in so many places in your life. I promise. get the fuck out of that terrible awful room#and for gods sake stop bring out handfuls of mold you found under the floorboards and shoving it in our faces#nobody fucking wants this. we did it. weâre done.#so yeah I think I have an extra level of disdain because I know from personal experience that itâs not *that* fucking hard to care more#about real life trans people than about antisemitic childrenâs books.
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did it work. is stein president now. did it make you feel better
#your tax dollars still fund this shit. you did nothing but throw away your vote#she's losing by a fucking landslide right now im trying to pretend the blue wave hasnt hit yet but it's looking fucking bleak man#trying to pretend my life isnt over too but i cant even count the amount of rights we are about to lose#rights we've already lost that we were gonna fight to take back#rights we're taking for granted right now that we cant even imagine losing#hell we're gonna lose our damn education at this rate#keep everyone too dumb to thinks for themselves that way they can keep their fucking death grip on this country#we let ourselves get overrun by a mass cult. what the hell is going on man#to everyone who voted third party lets see what good he does for palestine. this is what you picked#the man who said he would ''make them pay''#maybe she'll pull through somehow but im just gonna go to bed...
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btw toddâs reluctance to join the dps because he doesnât want to read (which is then accommodated for) and is scared to put himself out there (which is also worked through) being read as todd not wanting to go AT ALL, and thus neil making the proper accommodations (âtodd anderson, who prefers not to read, will keep the minutes of the meetingsâ) and encouraging him to step out of the box that stifles him being seen as âforcefulâ or like he canât take no for an answer makes me insane with rage
#and him trying to stop neil from asking if todd not reading at the meetings is okay isnât him wanting not to go#its him not wanting neil to ask because (as someone with social anxiety) itâs EMBARRASSING ASF for someone to ask for things on your behalf#literally just think about it as the meme of âwhen i tell my friend im hungry and he tells his mom that *i* want food instead of both of usâ#and the whole âneil not knowing how to take no for an answerâ thingâŠâŠ dont get me fucking started#the kid whoâs had to take no for an answer his whole life? the kid whose first proper scene IS him taking no for an answer? are you serious?#being encouraging and accommodating and (admittedly) a little pushy when heâs got his mind set on somethingâ#âis NAWT the same as not being able to take no for an answer or bulldozing through conversations with people#he and todd DO listen to each other in those conversations theyre just on opposing sidesâ#âbecause their understandings of the world donât fully align at that point in time/the movie#which is totally fucking normal?????? because later on they DO properly align?????????#i feel so crazy about this every time i see someone say todd didnât want to go the dead poets meetings because itâs so obvious he DID#he was just scared#and you know what maybe it IS a little forceful#but given how dedicated todd is to shutting off and hating and isolating himself he NEEDS a little forceful to be broken through to#if no one ever pushed me to do things when i was scared (as irritated as it can make me) iâd never do SHIT dude#and obviously todd is the same way because he ALL BUT OUTRIGHT SAYS AS MUCH#âi appreciate this concern but iâm not like youâ IS about neilâs voice and opinions mattering to people but itâs ALSO aboutâ#âhim being outgoing and trying new things and putting himself out there#WHICH TODD WANTS TO BE ABLE TO DO!!!!!!!!#the moral you take away from todds growth is NOT that he has to change to be accepted because he DOESNT#its that he has to gain the confidence and belief in himself to grow and become the version of himself he WANTS to be#he NEVER changes on a fundamental level to make others happy (although his growth does make others happy) he just opens up more#and i dont know WHY some people think his arc is becoming a completely different person#like yall PLEASE#this isnt even an anderperry thing this is an issue even if you read them completely platonic#i blame the FUCKASS novelizationâŠ. dps book you will always be hated by ME#dps#dead poets society#neil perry#todd anderson
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Barring any new asks, I think that's the last of those 'icons only' memes and it was very fun doing them all! Thank you so much for sending them in everyone, I'm feeling more confident about activity again and will hopefully be inspired to write a bit more often from now on providing schedule eases up sometime soon!
#đ ;; ooc#;; mun rambles#I mean it guys thank you so much for your thoughtfulness and patience!#I know I have been very AWOL this year and that's not good work or no#The longer I am away the harder it feels to pick up the muse/s again you know?#Just staring at a blank page and wondering where tf to begin#So this was really nice and light <3#Life's going well here#Schedule did not ease off to nobody's surprise but apparently a colleague is taking on more hours#Quit her job at a school and is doing full-time where we work now#So hopefully she will be able to do Monday and Tuesday and I'll have more than one day off a week or so#That won't be until October though bc handing notice in and shit#But it is good to know!#I do like working and the extra money is helpful but fuck me I need rest too lol#Things are keeping me going though like tumblr and sneks#The ball python is soooo sweet now he comes out when I come home early in the morning ;;#Seems to want to be handled but I just fed him the other day so I feel guilty I cannot cuddle him just yet :(#Baby boy <3
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Everyone, remind me to not trust my dadâs relatives with food and parties because they canât do even that much the right way. The peoples are so questionable đ
#â â„ kelrambles;#.text#also donât get me started on my jobless cousin telling me she found 5 jobs FOR ME but they all seem just like⊠scamâŠ#because girl why are you trusting instagram ads now to find yourself a job???? đđ#but her finding five jobs for me while she is jobless and with a kid to raise itâs what actually takes me out#albanian relatives feels WAAAAAAY too entitled to thing they shouldnât be feeling entitled about#literally mind your fucking business???#you the same girl who called me immature when i had a breakdown from stress in the hardest moment of my life#and now you come to me acting like you didnât project your entire being and existence on me???? bitch go away???#she narcissistic arrogant presumptuous bossy and stuck up as hell because picking only one bad trait felt too insulting to her#literally stop chasing after me and chase after your 4yo son????? đ#anyways⊠some peoples needs a reality check and to be humbled so bad#she the same who tells me that i canât talk back because i dropped out of school⊠like i wasnât forced by our relatives to do that lmfao#she has regarded me with the heinous shits EVER since i was a kid but the bad one is always me when i talk back to her đ«„#get so much why diego doesnât pull up to any family gathering and stays away from these peoples đ€
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things arenât going well with peach. while i think my dadâs very right to be concerned that she hasnât eaten anything in nearly 60 hours (obviously i am too), im becoming increasingly concerned that she hasnât slept at all in around 36 hours and prior to that she was under anaesthetic, which isnât exactly restful, so itâs closer to 48 hrs
like dad took her back to the vet today and weâve got injections for her painkillers now because sheâs not eating, and also injections for fluids (because she doesnât drink; she only gets water from her food), so the not eating is Bad but also kinda under management, but if she doesnât sleep soon iâm extremely worried. dad was like âif she doesnât eat by tomorrow afternoon weâll take her back because the injections will run outâ but like. if she doesnât sleep tonight we have GOT to take her back first thing in the morning so they can sedate her or something
#her pain doesnât seem to be too bad now that sheâs got pain relief so idk whatâs stopping her from sleeping#she wonât even lie down unless iâm sitting next to her. she just sits there staring out the window#her pupils are also taking up her entire eyes and have been all day#thatâll be a side effect of the medication and maybe the lack of sleep? but it wonât be making her feel any better#she can probably barely see at this point#like imagine youâve been awake for 2 days after surgery and youâre in a lot of pain and havenât eaten since before surgery#and are also on strong painkillers. and you also have no idea whatâs wrong with you or why everyoneâs doing things that hurt you#bruh your brain would be COOKED. thereâs no way she has any idea whatâs going on rn but sheâs clearly feeling terrible#personal#like i think sheâll be ok in the long-term but sheâs gotta somehow get through all these immediate issues#last time something like this happened she stopped drinking and never started again#not eating or sleeping donât have workarounds as simple as putting water in her food#it really doesnât help that thereâs so much other shit going on rn#iâm doing a whole bunch of stuff with my phone and computer thatâs taking a lot of work#but also my sisterâs going on a long overseas trip that sheâs leaving for tomorrow#so the combo of dad and sister coming and going constantly and also like 6 random deliveries for tech stuff in the last 2 daysâ#has the dogs really wound up. so georgieâs been howling at absolutely everything#and itâs rainy so my clothes arenât trying and theyâre hanging on a rack hooked on the hallway door so the door canât close#which puts one less door between my room and the dogs so theyâre waking me up every time anything happens#and i sleep during the day so thatâs ALL THE TIME. iâve had like 8 hrs of sleep between the last two afternoons#my sister always has so much random life stuff she wants to talk about and was getting really annoyed that i wasnât very receptive#like âim about to go away for 3 monthsâ sorry i know its a big thing but i canât just reschedule peachâs medical emergency
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having no friends is like whatever most of the time but like actually having a friend for once and then having to get used to not having them again. shit sucks. conan gray was onto smth with just let me be sad and lonely, im not interested in ever having friends again i was happy on my own why did you have to come in and screw up my miserable life and teach me what real love feels like. fuck you
#it pisses me off so much how badly i miss her#and i dont even know if she misses me at all#is she relieved she doesnt have to deal with me anymore#i mean fuck its like taylor swift said âwhat a valiant roar. what a bland goodbyeâ#like what the fuck after everything youre not even going to tell me whats happening#we're just going to cut off contact like that#youre just going to move away to your stupid fancy new school and im never going to hear from you again#what was the fucking point#to teach me what real friendship feels like for literally the FIRST time in my whole life just to take it away just like that#i mean how did we go from planning our future together to radio silence#am i that unlovable#alex says shit#alex loves#last post abt her no more
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sometimes i dislike someoneâs takes here. and then i go onto youtube and realize, comparatively, they arent that bad actually.
#most of the arguments of whether max is canonically bisexual or not are LITERALLY just Amatonormativity talking points#everybody fuck off im taking your max sexuality headcanons away.#sheâs aromantic now#/joke. im silly i swear#people just be saying shit and giving literally ZERO source#anyways we ball#lis#life is strange#actually im not done yet#âuhm. actually. max is CANONICALLY bisexual bc iâ as a bisexualâ relate to her. also she canonically kisses warren so.â#thats called a head canon + souce? + Amatonormativity#okay now im done
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How its been going if I'm being quite honest
#Sorry this is ooc it's just how I'm feeling#My brain went 'oh? You're in the middle of the worst week of your life? Here's a random character to fixate on until things calm down đ'#I'm back at the apartment btw#Severe thunderstorms here so they kept us in the air for an extra hour#But yeah I'm sorry I've been inactive and not chatty lately. Just going through a lot right now and it's taking its toll#I'm doing what I can just to keep myself from falling to pieces#On the brightside the paper work went through so she will be seeing the specialists on Monday if all goes well#On the downside I just can't stop crying#I can barely walk as soon as I got in I just collapsed#I barely slept all weekend#This is the first shower I'm taking since Thursday night#Haven't brushed my teeth either#I know I smell like shit I just couldn't be bothered#My hair was matted to my head#I felt bad for everyone at the airport but I just couldn't bear to be away from her longer than absolutely necessary#Cruddy rambles
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