#last post abt her no more
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having no friends is like whatever most of the time but like actually having a friend for once and then having to get used to not having them again. shit sucks. conan gray was onto smth with just let me be sad and lonely, im not interested in ever having friends again i was happy on my own why did you have to come in and screw up my miserable life and teach me what real love feels like. fuck you
#it pisses me off so much how badly i miss her#and i dont even know if she misses me at all#is she relieved she doesnt have to deal with me anymore#i mean fuck its like taylor swift said “what a valiant roar. what a bland goodbye”#like what the fuck after everything youre not even going to tell me whats happening#we're just going to cut off contact like that#youre just going to move away to your stupid fancy new school and im never going to hear from you again#what was the fucking point#to teach me what real friendship feels like for literally the FIRST time in my whole life just to take it away just like that#i mean how did we go from planning our future together to radio silence#am i that unlovable#alex says shit#alex loves#last post abt her no more
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I read Howl’s Moving Castle and it is officially a comfort book now so here is Sophie :D
#Howls moving castle#howl’s moving castle#diana wynne jones#I read this and realized I had unlocked a new favorite book#And then I reread it and loved it even more#It is absolutely glorious#Sophie hatter#hmc#my art#character design#dont ask me abt the fashion I just drew it off the top of my head so it’s a mess albeit very fun to come up with#I wanna draw howl next but he’s really hard for some reason?? I can’t decide how he should look#Most of the young Sophie outfits are post book btw#I wanted to draw what I felt she’d wear after all that character development XD#Also#she’s holding her accidentally magic stick in the last one even tho she’s younger#And I can’t remember if it burned to pieces in the book or not but if so I’m just gonna pretend it didn’t lol
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lazy colored sketch cuz i just got discharged from the hopital🎉 im freeeee
deidamia princess of not taking the hintros😭
#the iliad#sorry abt my recent iliadposting i will return to epicposting soon#i have a bunch of art that i did in the hospital that i didnt post. weirdly enough its mostly tiresias#idk why#deidamia#achilles#pyrrha moment#the last time i drew achilles was sept 24...i thought i drew him more than that lol#i actually draw alot more patroclus tbh#i dont rlly remember what deidamia looks like. so i just made it up but neoptolemus had to get his hair from somewhere right?#also i made her a lot more uh clingy in this i think ? its been a while since i read the skyros arc#plz dont be mad
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sunrise on the reaping is where headcanons go to die.
#thg#the hunger games#thg sotr#sunrise on the reaping#i think it’s actually a little concerning that this is the first thing i thought when the book was announced…#i have an entire list of victors… i have wrote a scary amount of lore abt them… i am terrifyingly attached to them#but like even the canon victors!! if beetee doesn’t win the 40th i’m jumping off the roof.#if wiress’ last name is confirmed and it’s not lisiecki suzanne and i are going to have words.#(i hc her as polish and for some reason this hc is very personal to me. she also has to win the 48th. i don’t make the rules.)#if brutus doesn’t win the 43rd! if lyme doesn't win the 46th!! if any more victors are mentioned by name i will jump out of the window!!!#suzanne don’t you test me#so yeah anyway!!!!#normal abt them.#(i am not in fact normal abt them)#(fun fact i have a pinterest board with sections for each victor. yes it does have 1500 pins. no it is not my biggest board)#so yeah i am so sorry for the rant in the tags but its my post and i do what i want <3#sotr#second quarter quell#oh yeah also the first quarter quell victor!! if their mentioned by name.. or district… or anything i swear to actual god#suzanne im outside your window. yeah i just want to talk.#for legal reasons this is a joke#it’s not important that if any of these things don’t align with my personal fanon i will probably just ignore them. that’s not important.#dayne talks
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'I wont cry for you, I wont crucify the things you do. I wont cry for you, see, when you're gone, I'll still be BLOODY MARY'
#cw blood#SUUUPER SCUFFED LIL WIP THATS BEEN RRRROTTING IN MY FOLDER. OUT!! GET OUT!!!#its almos 2 am and imm gettin high as hrothgar. spruced this up within an hour so i could be shared n eaten#its SUPPOsed to be part ofa bigger doodly page so ofc theres the chance this changes between now n then#fuuuuck shoulda made her dress sparkly. fuckit ill fix it laterrrrr. i havnt posted art in YWEARRS i needed to post something#also i uh. well you see i started losing followers on twitter bc im sooo inactive and i KNOW that shouldnt matter like it should be whateve#but. you see. i lkike when number go up and when it go down i get MMMADDD.we all get our dopamine from somewhere#ANYWAY so i actually havnt touched the suckening in so long. been workin on oc stuff.BUT WELL. ARTHUR AND MARY. STILL MAKE ME WEEP#THEYRE SO CUTE N TRAGIC...whadda fuck is it with grizzly n charlie characters being so in love and so doomed#kian and becky then arthur and his various exes like CMAHn.stop doing this to me#from what i remember of the episode.she seemed so.tired.disconnected.like she had been wandering a dream#and yet she seemed so positive.reasonably concerned and yet.content.she warmed up to arthur as soon as she recognized him#she speaks so gently and so sweetly and she keeps the conversation so light.even though shes dead and shes gone and she#is doomed to wander an odd limbo for the rest of time.and yet she seemed so at peace.i can see why arthur liked her.what happened?#what caused them to separate?arthur seems so jaded and so tired.marys company seems like such a gentle place to rest.#how did he squander such a blessing?was it a blessing?OHH what i would give to crack open their minds and peer inside.#yknow wat im runnign out of room i think so ill add a last thought here at the bottom of my tags. I AM MORE CORRECT ABT ARHTURS UGLY LOOK#I WANT THAT MAN TO BE BEASTLY AND GROSS AND STRANGE AND SCARY AND EEWWW I SEE THINGS SQUIRMING IN THE DARK.ther are bugs#LETTING HIM HAVE HOT HOT ABBS AND STUFF WAS A COP OUUTTTT LET HIS WHOLE FORM BE DISTORTED OR UR NOT A FUCKING 0 APPEARANCE BITCH#THE BONES SHIFTED BENEATH AS IF TRYING TO HATCH. MANY OTHER THINGS HATCHED ASWELL. THE DEAD IMMORTAL FLESH SOURED#TOO GRAND TO ROT BUT TOO CORRUPTED TO KEEP CLASSIC FORM. MMMONSTER MONSTER MONSTER MONSTER#oka y im not going to bed but im gonna go. uh. do miore drugs or something. maybe ill work on more jrwi stuff. or oc stuff.#i hope ur day goes swimmingly thankyou for reading my tags i love you so so so so so much
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#meme#homemade memes#cw dysphoria#trans#bones are stupid#cw dysphoria venting#waiting out current phase of transition changes to happen#(cause I got my dose raised again in april & am waiting for my next two surgeries & continuing tryna build muscle 😔)#hoping it'll get to a point eventually where the affirming bits are overpowering enough to ppl's perception#that I can dress the bits I can't change (like hips) in things that suit them#and do the whole embracing looking trans thing without worrying abt the misgendering#but alas I won't believe in my body's ability to do that until I see it#seeing as I still get lady-ed & unquestioningly she/her-ed 5 years into HRT + post two highly visible surgeries#+ fully dressed in men's clothes + sporting the shortest hair I've ever had -.-#cis ppl learn what transmascs look like & what that means for words you use on them challenge 2024- difficulty level: impossible apparently#I've had several ppl in the last few months that I literally TOLD I am trans/'it's he/him'/was clocked as trans by#who then STILL proceeded to misgender me anyway???#like what more can I do than literally straight up tell you????#I told a clinician who was looking at my knee the other month that I was trans (cause they always ask abt all meds n diagnoses)#and he misgendered me as a trans woman on his report like-#sir I am 5'4" and have a flat chest baby face and facial hair#and I was telling you abt how I've been on HRT for years and have had several Transgender Surgeries#you're a bone doctor you know how bones work and what their limitations are and you have functionning eyes#you should be able to put 2 and 2 together abt how this works even if you've never met a trans person holy fuck#(I wrote a complaint and they amended the report and sent me an apology meanwhile but still like- buddy wtf)
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Roshambogames Teammate tierlist 👍
its basically just my incredibly biased personal opinion on who i think ro would work well w in a team. (mapicc gets his own tier bc he is mapicc.)
#lifesteal#roshambogames#and yes i actually have reasoning for every single one of my placements#but i dont feel like writing an extensive post so ill explain some of the interesting ones here#yes the tag monster is back at it again LOL#N E ways! lets start w minute bc i gen think they could never last as teammates. esp w other people in the team as well#minute literally doesnt trust ro to stay loyal to anyone if mapicc exists on the server#its why i think that if ro ever joined the empire it wouldve been the beginning of the end for it bc even on the same team#minutes inherent in distrust in ro's loyalty [to anyone who isnt mapicc] would accelerate the teams inevitable downfall#but like thats only in a world where ro played the server LOL i wanna make a post abt this still bc i think abt it a lot#ANYWAYS next we have flame!! i actually rly think theyd be hella compatible#if ro locked tf in i do actually think he and flame could do some dastardly things to the server#ro is a creative and flame is someone who is incredibly loyal and has the strength to makr their shared ideas a reality#tho i think theyd also balance on the very thin line of “die with me or die by my hands” bc i cant imagine them splitting peacefully#either they end the server together or ro is banned by flame himself. no in between LMFAO#and for the last person ill talk abt hannah bc i feel like he and hannah would actually mesh rly well???#but only if they have other teammates too bc ro is very busy and hannah only rly plays when shes asked to#so they need teammates who play the server to act as the glue for them LOL#but like ya i feel like theyd bounce ideas off each other really well?? like hannah is similar to flame in her loyalty#and ro's willingness to do projects w her would encourage hannah in doing more on the server and having plans of her own#i also think they mesh well personality wise bc ro is silly and hannah needs someone to be silly w bc she gets stressed easily#tho that can easily backfire bc ro's silliness may stress her out More in certain situations so like .#they def need other teammates to balance them out LMFAO#okay im done being the tag monster thank u if u read my tag yapping#i have a headache LOL
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Noticing that TV and film will often have a character either have had an abortion in the past that isn't showcased on screen (and just used as part of the character's ~fucked up and twisted backstory~) OR contemplate getting an abortion in the present day but not to through with it. Just once I want to see someone delete that fetus within the events of the plot and not be like. Extremely majorly punished for it and/or be in the wrong
#ramblings of a lunatic#was watching a tv show w the fam recently and it's the 2nd series of a show that was clearly written with only 1 in mind#so in the 2nd season a character gets pregnant (bc ofc) and contemplates getting an abortion#only to do the whole 'omg she thinks she's lost the baby and realizes she wanted to keep it all along!'#which like. fine and valid and happens to ppl irl I'm sure#but like. this season doesn't establish if she wanted kids prior or if she has a stable job (she was struggling career wise-#-last season and the timeskip this season doesn't go into it)#AND has this fucking bizarre scene w/ her boyfriend (whos mostly been irrelevant and occasionally annoying up til now)#where he says it's 'our pregnancy' that she was going to terminate and when she (rightfully) bites back-#-saying 'you mean MY pregnancy?!' he just. storms off and deflects#which would be one thing but we have to wrap up the main plot so she just apologizes to him (for other plot stuff)#and we're never given any indication that his opinion has changed and they're just happily parenting at the end of the season#which just. left a bad taste in my mouth#like I KNOW i know not every bad thing said on screen needs a big blinking arrow that points out that it's Bad and Wrong#but idk how I'm supposed to feel in a series that has painted itself as explicitly feminist up til this point#presents the outcome of a woman dating and bearing a child for a man w seemingly zero respect for her bodily autonomy as happily ever after#w no follow up#like the whole series is centered on a group of sisters and this pregnancy story happened to the youngest one#who's always seen as needing to 'grow up' in season 1. so assuming this is meant to be building off that arc it's so WEIRD still#bc yes being a parent is an opportunity for many ppl to mature emotionally but that's not really something the character-#-reflects on all season. it's more abt her burying her past relationship w a season 1 guy (who was infinitely more interesting than new guy)#-than anything to do with that#AND EVEN IF IT WAS the notion of pregnancy as a punishment/reckoning meant to make her grow up or take responsibility-#-which is secretly a blessing in disguise i. god the show fell apart so hard here for me#and my mom and sister were just cooing over the baby at the end and i didn't speak up bc i didn't want to be a bitch#and in all fairness I'm probably being a tad uncharitable in this post but like. don't piss me OFF man#anyway. normalise abortion storylines that aren't backstory fodder and aren't fakeouts for baby plots. please
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i realized they had the same birthday (dec 21st) so i was like "yoooo i should draw them together"
silly bonus:
#my art lol#vocaloid#vocaloid fanart#utau#utauloid fanart#utau fanart#根音ネネ#nene nene#nene nene utau#oliver vocaloid#oliver vocatone#oliver maghni ai#i guess??? because that's his maghni ai design? chose it for fun and for color/composition purposes ig (slightly more yellow? and details)#don't know how to tag this... and since yuki only appears in the bonus doodle idk if i should really tag her#i don't actually know if oliver would be scared of nene or not aksjhgk that little guy doesnt seem scared by most things#but i just thought it would make for a funny side doodle so thats why its there lol#potential successor to the kagamines/iku doodle? in a way maybe... i should find more vsynths that share bdays and draw them together#fun fun fun... ofc its not the exact same day and year like tho iku and the kagamines tho (which is crazy); nene came out in 2009#but ya. showing penance in some way because i was too depressed to draw anything for oliver's bday last year lmao 😭 im sorry my boy#i mean i did do that shitty short meme video which i almost completely forgot abt but that doesnt counttt im talking art piece#this piece was gonna look way more different originally but i couldn't get it to look right so i went for something simpler#cause i was running out of time... and also experimented a little since this one's weird in that i did the colors first rather than lines#then did lines based on the colors and cleaned up the coloring after. and i was gonna add some more stuff to bg but got tired rip#so yeah maybe its a bit simple for my liking but im too tired to redo this again. i had to resize it bc i accidentally made og file huge#and it just wouldnt upload to tumblr lmaoo so apologies if the quality got crunched#IVE BEEN WAITING ALL FUCKING DAY TO POST THIS AND THE OTHER SHIT HAHAHAHEH... i couldve scheduled them but NOOo... oliver day
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Marisha's comment about how Relvin is one of those parents who ended up with a child they didn't know what to do with really gets to the heart of it, i think, and is such a good way to tie the fantasy element of Imogen's powers into things more tangible. because there are really a lot of parents like Relvin in real life, who have a child with the person they're happily married to and never expect to be left alone with the kid. or who expect a ""normal"" (read: cisgender and heterosexual, able-bodied, relatively neurotypical and obedient, etc.) child and end up with one who's ""difficult"", who demands more or different of them than what they believe they signed up for. and that's not entirely entitlement on a parent's part- many cultures' common frameworks of parenthood and child-rearing do not include space for these children. it makes sense that Relvin was unprepared. raising any child is difficult, and raising a child whose needs you were never taught how to accommodate, who the world is so cruel to, is even more challenging.
and yet. and yet, the person who bears the brunt of the harm in these situations will always be the child. they're the ones who have to live every moment of how the world treats them, without the support that their parent is supposed to provide them. and when asked to care for his child even when she turned out to be ""difficult"", Relvin couldn't. for entirely sympathetic reasons, of course. he tried, in his own way. i don't think he's a bad guy. but he's let his own broken heart bleed onto his daughter. he hasn't been able to give her much else.
#imogen temult#critical role#cr#cr3#like it's really sad what happened to relvin we all know this. but seeing how dani scrambled over herself last night#to clarify that she DOESN'T think relvin is an awful person just bc she thinks he's a shitty dad made me feel for her so much bc like.#sometimes the Posts. about him. feel a little “why do bash dead beat dads but never question if the kid has bad vibes.” so.#especially in comparison to liliana who is 1. worse than relvin 2. still sympathetic 3. more interesting to a nearly comical degree#and while he gets so much sympathy On Here ppl mostly post abt her to wish for her death or call her a bitch. so!#parenting talk is a minefield bc some ppl resent the idea that a child deserves anything more from a parent than basic needs being met#and refuse to include emotional needs among them. so like idk if that's your thing i don't rlly give a shit man#crposting#cr meta
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i think it's pretty genius how st3 satirizes the american dream and how its constraints inadvertently caused the downfall of hawkins but some of you aren't ready to hear that
#listen. s3 was not a perfect season. but frankly neither were the other 3#if s3 had had the normal and expected color palette like the other 3 seasons i think a lot of the hate it got wouldve been lessened#“s3 is pro capitalism and pro america!!!” no it's really not. it's purposefully bathing itself in those bright “american” colors to make fun#-of the american traditions and dreams that are constraining hawkins as a whole but also like. our main characters.#-and we see this with karen trying to cheat on her husband. hopper being a dick because el is growing up. mike being an asshole. etc.#also. s3 is a standalone season whereas the first and last seasons are paralleled to one another. so yes s3 is going to look a little#-different because of that. it was the turning point in the story.#anyway. i have more to say abt this but if i wrote it all down it wouldn't fit in 1 post#hope i don't get sniped for this but whateverrr#stranger things#bee.txt
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god i'm thinking about how "the stolen chariot" takes place post-"titan's curse" and how that's a turning point for percy and clarisse's relationship, and how clarisse probably saw straight through percy's facade and saw exactly how he was treated during that time at camp and how sad and lonely he probably was because grover was tripping over himself around the hunters and chiron was so focused on thalia and annabeth was gone
and that leads me into thinking about the head counselors again and how maybe, in their own ways, they gave percy little things to show their support. moments of help, little gifts.
silena sitting in the pegasus stables with percy, holding onto his arm and being a big sister presence to him. not talking, just being there for him, giving him some semblence of stability
beckendorf dragging percy off to test new weapons he made in the arena, turning it into a game that had a smile spreading over percy's face for the first time in days
travis and connor sneaking coke and candy into camp for their honorary brother, leaving it in the poseidon cabin with little cards that had the corniest jokes written on them
clarisse spars with percy more, pulling him to the arena when she sees the stormy look in his eyes, when he can't think about anything else but how frustrated he is
lee pulls percy into the medical tent to test his healing abilities with water, because it's been an obsession for the apollo cabin since percy arrived, and he can't help but make percy laugh with his eagerness
castor and pollux convince their father to let up on percy, just a little bit, to let him have a looser curfew, letting him sit out by the lake for as long as he needs, sometimes sitting with him in the quiet
katie leaving little plants in the poseidon cabin, little succulents and flowers that are easy to care for, something small that makes percy's eyes light up every time he gets a new one, and he lines the windows of the cabin with them
malcolm, bless him, is so aware of his sister and percy's crushes on each other, and takes it upon himself to make sure that his sister's best friend doesn't waste away, and he's the one who makes sure percy eats and sleeps and stays healthy.
and clarisse will deny it until the day she dies, but percy knows that she's the one setting everything up. it was her suggestion, though the other counselors know they'll get fried if they say anything.
and he doesn't say anything, not until after "the stolen chariot", when he and clarisse are sitting down for a burger, and he brings it up quietly. and clarisse just huffs and rolls her eyes, and percy's heart warms so much at the fact that, despite the winter being the worst one of his life, he was surrounded by people who loved him and supported him.
(annabeth definitely gives hugs to all the head counselors when malcolm tells her, because they kept her seaweed brain going)
#i also have a hc that percy and pollux are super close#percy's promise to dionysus made me think abt them becoming good friends#more percy and clarisse sibling content bc of course#PERCY AND CHARLIE SAW EACH OTHER AS SIBLINGS YOUR HONOR#i think post-last olympian thalia sees percy and clarisse#and she probably had this idea of the big three kids being able to be close and be a family#but because of how things went down during tc#there's just a layer of tension that never really healed#so seeing percy and clarisse goofing around and acting like actual siblings#there's a slight pang of jealousy#whether it's due to the fact that she'll never get a close familial relationship with percy#or the fact that percy and clarisse remind her of her and jason#who knows#percy jackson and the olympians#percy jackson#clarisse la rue#annabeth chase#silena beauregard#charlie beckendorf#travis stoll#connor stoll#lee fletcher#katie gardner
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The Oath an older sister takes is on par with that of a Paladins, and sometimes upheld with the very same ferocity…
#jrwi fanart#jrwi riptide#jrwi show#gillion tidestrider#edyn tidestrider#OKAY I WONT RAMBLE HERE AS MUCH AS LAST TIME BUT RAAHHH IM RLY PROUD O THIS PAGE. it was rottin in my wips for so long#but now its DONE!!(as much as im willing it to be) i rly like my colors! i looove playin with colors :3c#seeing everyones nice words on my last post also made me SOOO HAPPY it motivated me to create MORE!!!!#SO HERE HERE more edyn n gillion bc they make me EMOTIONAL!! i work with lil kids as my job too and im also an older sister so#i might be projecting a liiittle bit. okay to be fair i project onto gillion ALOT!! i didnt do well in school and adults are mean somtimes:#i hope we find out whats going on with edyn soon... whole heartedly trust her tho. she has gillions best interests in mind!#ive been rotatin the thought of her assassinating the elders in my brain for SO LONG!! i just need edyn to KILL to protect gillion ouuhhh#hope she comes back with like a giant sword or a cool gun#RAMBLE ABT UR FEELINGS IN THE TAGS BTW#I READ IT ALL N IT MAKES ME SO SO SO HAPPY. YOU GOTTA.
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Hotaru "Doodles"
#the last one w sugary cabrival did not feel like a doodle.#doodles#magia record#hotaru yura#Her older-middle sister wears egl I promise im right abt this#anyways Hotaru seems more like the comfort over appearance kind of person for the most part so#I think wearing lolita would be dofficult for her with all the layers and fabric... ive gotten overwhelmed myself before#also i struggle with elastic-y materials around my wrists and I take bracelet breaks sometimes especially when im aware of the bracelets#so wristcuffs have been a very... dreaded experience because its tight elastic + potrntially itchy lace/fabric#elastic in general can be EVIL and uncomfortable and I think drawstring isnt as evil so. theres that!#also i just like drawing her dolled up i have sooo many doodles like this i just havent posted em
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Thinking about the convolution of Eleventh Doctor's expressions of love for River Song in Season 7B. He does not trust Clara. He is utterly (wrongly) convinced that he and Clara are playing a grand manipulative game together. “What are you, eh?! A trick? A trap?!!”
So naturally, the last thing he should do in this game is to clue his opponent in on something that could be used to hurt him. Something like River, so painfully near the end of their time together, whose data ghost he can always see, who “it would hurt too much” to acknowledge. He can't let Clara know of the loss which constantly floods his senses; (“You are always here to me. And I always listen, and I can always see you,” he professes, once Clara has vanished into his timestream).
And yet. River fills his every moment (irregardless of any sneaking out for dates with increasingly-young Rivers while Clara is asleep like he did while the Ponds slept, which would explain his absence when the TARDIS is hiding Clara's bedroom). Even though it's not strategic, he can’t help but tell Clara about her. The best defense he can manage is to phrase it as if River isn’t as important to him as she is. Not only is avoiding her first name in his grief; he's also completely avoiding pronouns; which seems extreme given that he's still mentioning her as often as: “Oh yeah, of course he has! Professor Song! Sorry, it's just I never realized you were a woman.”
Leave out the emotion — leave out the details — don't show the cracks in the armor — play the part — win the game.
“Well, there's no point now. We're about to die. JUST TELL ME WHO YOU ARE.”
#I mean we KNOW that the doctor immediately started pouring his hearts out to Clara as soon as NotD ended <3#Clara tells the war doctor “he's always talking about the day he did it” okay so he's always talking about it starting after the prev ep#eleventh doctor#river song#clara oswald#words by seaweed#yeah I know the implication in Name of the Doctor is that eleven is two-timing them / worried abt Clara being jealous. which. eh. maybe.#but I like this better. also both things can be true if we want them to be#eleven is in SUCH a bad way in Season 7B too he needs to be held#“I thought it would hurt too much and I was right” ever think about how Clara was there for in the deepest moments of his grief?#whether his sad victorian cloud… on the Last Day… or on the day he was finally able to say Rivers name. he thought it would hurt too much#Tia made a really insightful post recently about how eleven can’t speak rivers name when she's gone and like. god. yeah.#it also made me think about. who would he even talk to River about? if he could? after years on a cloud drowning in her present nonpresence#ever think how if HoRS had happened before Hell Bent he never could've dealt with it and coulda broke the universe for River instead#Series 9 was a continuation/escelation of eleven's (and next twelve's) “he hates endings” - endings for Amy and Rory. for River. for Clara.#he hit rock bottom. and then Clara saved him#“You said memories become stories when we forget them. Maybe some of them become Songs.”#thank you Clara <3#one episode later:#“When the wind stands fair and the night is perfect when you least expect it but always when you need it the most- there is a Song.”#bc this is NOT to undervalue the Doctor's love for Clara he has a Duty of Care she's more Breakable than him (also than river!)#but it can it really be a coincidence? bc he is talking abt river in the second one. unless Moffat is obsessed with Song imagery? I MEAN
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i think i mightve talked abt this a bit in my longpost about how insane phi as a character is to me but yknow what i really wanna point out? all the nonary game shit she has to go through happens in really quick succession to her - she doesn't really get a proper "break" in between VLR and ZTD for her mentally. junpei and akane at least have about a year between the two, and sigma has 45 years (not that either of those situations were particularly good either though, looking at how sigma and junpei especially turned out, and sigma spent years WORKING on the AB game, just not participating in it). but for phi? she has a matter of DAYS in between the two. the time sigma spends she spends in cold sleep, so mentally to her, her consciousness goes from the events of VLR's phi end to DCOM almost instantly. dcom only ends up lasting for about 5 days, and even then the prologue states that phi/sigma/akane spent most of it worrying about radical-6 and the future + the flashback with diana shows phi is just so Tired after everything after just that. and then the decision game happens. my point is just that i cannot imagine being in a death game like that (not to mention everyone had radical-6, so she went from a body that Did have it to one that didn't, which i can imagine would probably a pretty weird experience considering one of its symptoms is messing up your perception of time. and also she was on the moon.), spending 5 days like god how did the apocalypse start i can't let it happen this time and then being in Another death game that is much more gruesome and violent. not to mention both of them in a way HAD to happen because of her (2074 nonary game bc it needed to train sigma and phi's SHIFTing abilities to a good enough degree and decision game one of the reasons was to ensure she and delta were born). in summary: i would fucking die at that point if i was phi dealing with that All At Once. in the span of a few days. and with the memories of my + others' deaths. what the fuck
#trevor.txt#zero escape#zero escape phi#phi vlr#vlr spoilers#virtue's last reward#zero time dilemma#ztd#like. not that junpei/akane/sigma Dont also kind of go through it a bit in the space they're given#especially in sigma's case how LONG it is is one of the things that messes him up a bit#but phi gets like. a matter of days mentally#which is insane. what the fuck. i personally could not handle that she is stronger than i am#like i talked abt this in the post where i mentioned how the characters chsange from 999/vlr to ZTD but like!#it makes sense that phi's notably more emotional + doesn't really care if she dies or not. its all kind of Recent#just messes me up thinking about it. especially with the whole “going from a body with radical-6 to a body that doesn't” thing i mentioned#and the flashback with diana !!! Good Lord#who else up being known for being cold and unemotional but having a moment where you're just so tired after everything youve been through#that you allow yourself to be vulnerable in front of someone you don't even know that well#i dont know. im fucked up. does anyone understand this fucks me up a bit#phiposting#<- making a tag for this bc i talk abt her A Lot on here
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