#and he misgendered me as a trans woman on his report like-

[dkettchen]

[zmpl]

I’m sorry for the long post but I want as many people to hear this message as possible, so I’m extending it out to tumblr.

This is my friend Meghan Lewis. She’s a 52 year old trans woman from Bel Air, Maryland. She’s a huge advocate for the LGBTQ community and has devoted her life to helping her community. She worked with houseless LGBTQ youth. She mentored me during hard times this past year, acting as an aunt figure to me. But two nights ago, on December 27th, 2023, she was murdered.

From what the news reports are saying, she ordered food to her home and the delivery man, Brian Delen, misgendered her. This started an altercation where Brian stormed back into his car, and Meghan followed him on foot. Brian then got out of his car and shot her.

What infuriates me is that he’s likely going to claim self-defense, or that this wasn’t related to Meghan’s gender. and end up getting a lighter sentence. He called 911 himself and surrendered himself to the police. Even though these are the type of posts he made on Facebook:

Meanwhile, this is what Meghan would post to her Facebook:

I’m just so angry. I’m so hurt. Meghan had a heart of gold and would open her door to anyone who needed a shoulder to cry on. She didn’t deserve this. No one does. Please keep Meghan in your thoughts, forever. Pray for justice.

[winniethewife]

There's nothing wrong with you (Miguel O’hara X Transmasc!reader)

A/N: For @romanarose 's Pride event!

Week 2: Transitioning

Warnings: Misgendering

Words: 810

He looked in the mirror, running his hands over his chest. He wasn’t sure about this new binder, especially under his spider suit. It hadn’t been easy, changing from a spider-woman to spider-man. In most universes that would seem to be the normal thing, a Spiderman. Many a Peter Parker could say that. But it was a little harder for him. He sighed, and pulled his mask on over his head and slapped his gizmo on his wrist ready to head to HQ for a meeting. His eyes glance over a newspaper sitting on his table and he shutters at the headline.

“Spiderwoman Saved 9!!!” It shouldn’t bother him. He should accept that it would take time for others to notice, but he hated the feeling none the less. He tried the whole coming out publicly, as Spiderman, but it was just not sticking. He was already having a hard time privately. His parents claim their “Mourning the loss of their daughter” and “Just need time to process the change” like he hadn’t been trying to show them for his whole damn life something was wrong. He sighed and activated his gizmo walking through the portal into headquarters in Nueva York 2099. He waved to some fellow spider people before swinging over to the meeting room. He found his seat in the empty room. The others filtered in slowly saying Hello to him and finding their seats. After Miguel came in the meeting began. Just going over basic procedures and clarifying some mission reports. Near the end Miguel startled him by calling his name. He looked up at the leader of the spider society nervously.

“Would you be able to meet with me after the meeting? There’s something I would like to discuss…you’re not in trouble.” Miguel clarified quickly as he could see the fear in his eyes.

“Of course Miguel. Not a problem.” He says with a smile. He was curious what it was that Miguel wanted to talk about, they hadn’t exactly been close or anything like that. Ask the other spiderfolx walked out he stayed seated. Miguel took a seat from across from him. He pulled up one of his many holographic screens and pulled something to the front. The newspaper from that morning. He felt the color rush from his face. Oh god, if there is such a thing, what will he do.

“I was pretty sure, that there was a press conference a few months ago, one where you came out as Trans. And you said you would like to be called “Spider-Man from here on out…Or did I miss something?” Miguel said simply in that almost terrifyingly cool tone he had whenever he stated facts, not opinions, Facts. He started to nervously fidget.

“No, you’re right…It just…hasn’t stuck.” He said quietly. He felt bad that Miguel had noticed, this would have been easier if…

“Maldito idiota… you would think after saving so many you would earn a tiny bit of respect.” Miguel curses under his breath as he scowls. That’s when he realized…Miguel doesn’t blame him…the shock was enough to bring tears to his eyes.

“You….you don’t…I…But I…I…” He couldn’t get a full sentence out if it would save his life. Miguel suddenly looks at him across the table with a sad look in his eyes. He reaches and takes one of his hands gently, which he hadn’t expected.

“This isn’t your fault. There’s nothing wrong with you. You deserve as much respect as any other Spiderman.” He squeezed his hand gently his brows slightly furrowed.  “You. Are. Not. Broken. Don’t let anyone tell you that you are.” He said firmly as his scarlet red eyes looked into his. He realized this whole time he thought he was the problem, he was the one who caused issues that his choices made it harder for everyone else.

“No one…Has told me that before…that…I’m not…I’m…” He takes a deep breath and blinks away tears. “I thought I was inconveniencing people, that I was the problem. If I could just be-”

“Don’t. Don’t you dare think like that, Don’t you dare. I’m going to fix this.” Miguel was ever more determined now, how long had he just let this slide? How long had he let the press and god know who else walk all over him and disrespect him this way? Miguel would not let that stand.  Miguel got up, a man on a mission. He followed close behind, but before they could leave the room Miguel heard his voice behind him.

“Can I hug you?” He let the question slip before Miguel could leave, he blushed and felt like he had just asked way too much of the leader of the spider society, but he was quickly proven wrong, Miguel’s arms wrapped around him squeezing him gently.

“Just…don’t tell the others alright?” Miguel chuckled.

“Lips sealed.”

~

Translations:

maldito idiota: damn idiot

Masterlist

Taglist: @romanarose @silvernight-m @queerponcho @boredzillenial

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Stephen Knight

Published: May 29, 2024

Comedy is becoming increasingly humourless and ideologically captured. So it should come as no surprise that the small number of comedians willing to make jokes about the ridiculous nature of trans ideology have become targets of fierce criticism. However, there is something especially pathetic about efforts to police what is acceptable in comedy when it is other comedians doing the policing. It’s like an ambulance being involved in a hit-and-run. It’s just worse.

Two particularly bad offenders are comedians Joe Lycett and Nish Kumar. Both have recently gone after Ricky Gervais, whose stand-up material pokes fun at trans activists. This week, Kumar took aim at Gervais on his podcast, Pod Save the UK, claiming that Gervais wants to ‘target and attack a vulnerable and marginalised community’. Similarly in February, Lycett appeared on The News Agents podcast, where he slammed Gervais for ‘doing material which is attacking trans people’ and ‘minorities’.

These attacks by Lycett and Kumar reveal that they either haven’t watched the material they say is so egregious – or worse, they didn’t understand it.

The routine that Lycett and Kumar are likely gesturing to is a bit from Gervais’s 2022 Netflix special, SuperNature. Far from attacking transgender people, the joke in question takes aim at the deranged disciples of trans ideology and gender self-identification.

The premise of the routine is that a trans activist becomes increasingly irate the more his belief that women can have penises is questioned. When a woman raises concerns about sharing the female toilets with a transwoman, asking ‘What if he rapes me?’, the trans activist becomes furious. ‘What if she rapes you, you fucking TERF whore!’, he screams.

The joke here is obviously that these gender zealots care more about a bloke with a penis being ‘misgendered’ than about the safety of a woman having to share loos with the penis-owning stranger. What Lycett and Kumar fail to understand from inside their ultra-progressive echo chambers is that this scenario isn’t just an invention of one comedian’s imagination. Any woman that has dared to defend their sex-based rights from the encroachment of gender ideology will be able to tell you about the rape and death threats and the risk of cancellation they face. Whenever they try to gather anywhere to protest for their rights, they are met with violent intimidation. In some cases, they have been visited by police.

Just this week, it was reported that the NHS is facing legal action after 26 female nurses complained about being forced to share the women’s changing room with a trans-identified male. One of the nurses in question, who was the victim of sexual abuse as a child, spoke of how ‘petrified’ she was to have this male in her space. Not least as the man repeatedly asked her when she planned on getting changed. The HR manager responded to these concerns by telling the female nurses they must ‘be more inclusive’, ‘broaden their mindset’ and ‘be educated and attend training’.

Worse still, in real life, the female victims of assault by trans-identifying men really have been compelled to recognise the ‘gender identity’ of their attackers. In 2018, a woman was required by a court of law to pretend her male attacker is actually a woman. In 2022, mainstream news outlets, including the BBC, edited the direct testimony of a rape survivor to avoid the unforgivable sin of ‘misgendering’ her rapist.

Just look at the ordeal Roz Adams has faced. Earlier this month, an employment tribunal concluded that she was unlawfully discriminated against and unfairly dismissed from her job at the Edinburgh Rape Crisis Centre. Why? Because she believed that the victims of rape – who often understandably find being in close proximity with men traumatic – had the right to know and choose the sex of the staff member providing them with care. The tribunal concluded that management’s treatment of Adams amounted to a ‘heresy hunt’.

Such ‘heresy hunts’ are the backdrop for Gervais’s jokes about trans ideology. And it is the suffocating new reality regular people now find themselves having to navigate on a daily basis. The average person no longer has to contend with the authoritarianism of the church. They are more likely to fall foul of the blasphemy codes and dogmas invented by the new gender puritans in our midst.

Lycett and Kumar want us to believe Gervais has devolved into a chauvinistic, reactionary shock jock. In reality, he has always gone after quasi-religious ideologies that are hostile to science and the right to free expression. The new church of gender ideology is no different. It compels people to believe that men can become women simply by saying so and demands that all who disagree are financially, reputationally and sometimes even legally punished. Surely this gives any conservative, science-denying, crackpot church a run for its money.

Taking aim at trans ideology isn’t a regression for Gervais. It’s a display of consistency. It is just that he is joking about a worldview that the Lycetts and Kumars of this world simply aren’t equipped to think about critically. They imagine themselves as moral guardians of what is permissible in modern comedy. Unfortunately for them, the speed with which Gervais continues to sell out tours and break streaming records tells us that audiences still have the final say of what goes and which jokes land. And it seems that they have had their fill of censorious, virtue-signalling ‘progressives’ who are too toothless to leave the safety net of their right-on establishment views.

Thank God for comedians like Ricky Gervais, who refuse to play it safe. Most of us want a laugh, not a lecture.

==

At bottom, this is a complaint about religious blasphemy by a heretic.

There's no human right to not being offended. And demanding that you (or one group) alone get to be immune from comedy is demanding special privileges. Equality means you get to be treated as fair game like everyone else.

[imaginebetterfutures]

"After the sporting time, comes the legal time."

On Sunday it was reported that boxer Imane Khelif had hired a legal team, and that they were filing a complaint on her behalf. The letter begins with the line "Apres le temps sportif, vient le temps judiciaire." Which translates to "After the sporting time, comes the legal time."

The complaint was filed with the "the anti-online hatred center of the Paris public prosecutor's office" and argues that the case "will determine who initiated this misogynistic, racist and sexist campaign but will also have to focus on those who fueled this digital lynching."

Some reporting I've seen says that Lin Yu-Ting of Taiwan may join her on the case. I haven't been able to independently verify that.

I'm not a lawyer and I certainly am not familiar with defamation laws in France, so I don't have much to say about how likely it is that this case will go anywhere. (I know from personal experience that getting any kind of legal remedy for online harassment and threats can be very hard.)

But there is some historical precedent around cases like this! Here are two examples that came to mind for me immediately:

On episode two of my podcast Tested, we talked you about a newspaper article about Helen Stephens that accusing her of being “too fast” to be a woman. What we didn’t tell you, is that she actually sued Look Magazine over a related story, which used her picture and the headline “Is This A Man Or A Woman?” And she won! The court awarded her $4500, according to the papers, which is the equivalent of $98,179 today.

Here is the spread from Look Magazine that Stephens sued over, and won. Stephens is the one on the right, under the caption “Is This a Man Or a Woman?”

In Caster Semenya's memoir, she tells the following story about a strip club in Johannesburg using her image: “The owner of Teazers had come up with some clever advertising for his club. A giant billboard on a main highway in Johannesburg that featured a naked, blonde, White woman with the words “No Gender Testing Necessary” written across the bottom half of her body.” Caster’s team sued, and won R20,000 (about $1,000). Here's an image of that billboard if you want to see it.

Obviously these are not legal precedent that could be used in this case, but it's a reminder that this kind of case isn't new.

Two other thoughts on this:

This actually will not be the first case filed at this office coming out of this Olympic games. The very same office has opened a case to investigate harassment and death threats aimed at Thomas Jolly, the artistic director of the opening ceremony. Jolly alleges that he has been facing death threats and harassment, largely stemming from his use of drag queens in a segment that some assumed was based on the Last Supper (Jolly says that the painting was not his inspiration).

I'll be very interested to see the line of argumentation that the lawyers use here. The harassment that Khelif and Lin endured was awful, and/but there's a tricky line to walk here I think. Will they argue that simply being called trans is bullying? I understand that for Khelif and Lin it amounts to misgendering them, which is a form of bullying. And it also strikes me that if not handled with care, that could be a precedent we might not want to set. It reminds me a bit of the cases in which people have won defamation claims for situations in which it was suggested that they were HIV positive. Because that suggestion is still so negative that it rises above the level of the usual bar for defamation in the United States.

If you want more about the history of sex testing, listen to Tested!

[coochiequeens]

A transwoman who tries to control women, spits on women and shouts at women are misgendering themselves.

A trans activist has reportedly been arrested and charged with assault after a vulgar confrontation at Edinburgh University in December. Robyn Woof, 35, spat on a woman who had been attempting to attend a screening of a documentary critical of gender ideology.

Woof, who was the Trans and Non-Binary Liberation Officer for the Edinburgh University Students Association, went viral in December after he was caught on film blocking a woman who was trying to enter the building to attend a screening of “Adult Human Female.” The documentary is critical of gender ideology’s impact on women, and the showing was hosted by Edinburgh Academics for Academic Freedom. 

Multiple camera-phone videos of Woof began to circulate on December 14, including one where he explains to the crowd of attendees attempting to enter the building that he was an “adult human female.”

During the clash, Woof was caught on film spitting at a woman.

The event was ultimately cancelled due to safety concerns, and police were called to the scene. No arrests were made at the time, and Woof congratulated protesters on successfully having blocked the showing of the film in a statement on his Instagram page. 

News of Woof’s arrest was announced by Wings Over Scotland on February 8, with the digest sharing an official statement from Police Scotland which read that a “woman” had been charged in connection to the alleged assault which took place at the screening.

In addition to his vocal trans activism, Woof is also a member of the University of Edinburgh’s rifle club. Many on social media speculated that a criminal charge will likely lose him his license to own a firearm. 

Woof has a history of staging aggressive counter protests, particularly against women.

In 2019, he became violent towards a group of elderly women who were staging a silent anti-abortion protest across from a clinic. Mancunian Matters reported the incident, describing Woof as “a six-foot aggressor.”

The seniors, who were members of the groups 40 Days For Life, were targeted by Woof as they were praying. Woof stopped his car to confront the protestors, grabbing their chairs and throwing their posters while screaming “you people fucking disgust me.”

In wake of his new charges, Woof has launched a GoFundMe seeking donations for a new van. Titled “I’ve been targeted by transphobic extremists,” the fundraiser explains that he had complained to his university about the “transphobic film,” but the administration instead recommended that he attend the screening and debate his position. 

According to to his fundraiser, Woof explained that he arrived at the first venue and due to protesters, they were moved to a new location but five protesters arrived first and blocked the door.

“Everyone went to the new venue and when I arrived in the corridor leading to the lecture theatre there were about 5 young protestors blocking a doorway,” Woof recounts in the description. He also denies assaulting anyone, despite the fact his hurling of saliva was caught on film. Women who attended the event have said his description of the incident is flawed.

Woof has stated he will be using the donations to buy a new caravan due to “death threats” he has received due to the allegations online of assault. Woof is allegedly intending to live in the caravan.

Adult Human Female, the documentary Woof and the other trans activists had disrupted, has been highly controversial since its release last year. The film was directed by Deirdre O’Neill, and focuses on the clash between gender ideology and women’s rights. Screenings across the UK have been met with protests and aggression from trans activists. 

On the film’s official Twitter account, the filmmakers announced they have made a formal complaint to GoFundMe regarding Woof’s fundraiser.

By

Shay Woulahan

Shay is a writer and social media content creator for Reduxx. She is a proud lesbian activist and feminist who lives in Northern Ireland with her partner and their four-legged, fluffy friends.

[sputnikscock420]

Quick Summary of the Situation so far:

Tumblr mods ignore harassment of Black & LGBT+ users

Tumblr mods allow nazis, white supremacists, and transphobes to spout obvious hate speech

Super quick to flag/ban Black & LGBT+ users over the most minor of violations and sometimes for nothing at all. These users regularly experience posts related to things like BLM or transition being flagged and appeals being denied

Trans user Avery has been on receiving end of provable harassment and mass false reporting as well as SFW transition pics getting flagged and has had blogs suspended due to the (again, provable) mass false reporting

Avery expresses frustration over all of this at CEO with an admittedly violent, albeit obviously non-actionable, non-serious, run-of-the-mill-Tumblr statement that is genuinely on par with Loony Toons-type cartoon violence

CEO cries “tHeY[sic] tHrEaTeNeD mE”, permanently bans her account, bans every subsequent account she tries to make, threatens to get law enforcement involved, and sends her an email that states her account was actually terminated NOT for “threats” as he claimed publicly, but for sexually explicit content despite a clear lack of said content on her blog, all while misgendering her in the process

(important to note here that transphobes on Tumblr have directed much more violent and much more serious statements at trans users with no consequence - reports of such statements have even been met with being told that the behavior is NOT against TOS)

CEO starts getting absolutely clowned on by his userbase for considering the hammer car explosion statement to be a serious, actionable threat, and for thinking anybody was going to believe that that was the real reason for Avery’s account being terminated

CEO also starts getting dragged by his userbase for showing such obvious bias against a trans user while trying to deny being a transphobe

CEO seemingly monitors posts related to the situation, finds trans women that posted or replied to posts about it, and DMs them within minutes of their post or reply asking why they’re “spreading misinformation” and insisting he’s not a transphobe

CEO then FOLLOWS Avery to other social media?? And tries to insist PUBLICLY on Twitter that she definitely did have sexually explicit content on her blog, going so far as to POST THE URLS OF HER PRIVATE BLOGS PUBLICLY TO TWITTER to try to paint her as some kind of sex freak as justification for terminating her account, likely outing her in the process(idk if she was already out on Twitter or not)

(Important to note here that, again, there is no proof or evidence to suggest that she actually had sexually explicit content on her public blog. Most of her private blogs were empty. A bit telling that he stopped trying to insist it was because of “threats” once he realized we weren’t falling for it. Also as we all know, “trans woman = sex freak” is transmisogyny 101… he ain’t beating these allegations…)

CEO then pins a post to his blog about how he’s definitely not transphobic while turning off replies and asks

Yeah this is totally fine and definitely not the behavior of a completely unhinged transmisogynist 👍/s

[pojkflata]

Seeing critiques of transandrophobia makes it quite clear to me that most detractors believe this came out of nowhere, as if somebody rightfully called out a trans man on his misogyny once and he instantly snapped and became a reactionary gamer bro. So I'd like to tell you that at least in my case, this has been brewing in me for some time with the rise of a new transphobic movement that specifically targets transmascs, and I gave you not one, not two, but three chances to take my worries seriously. If you don't like seeing me discuss my oppression like this, it's your fault for not being there for me when you had the chance.

April 2019

The Swedish national broadcaster puts out a documentary about trans healthcare. It's bad. It's really bad. It lies about the ease of access to HRT and concern trolls about an "explosive rise in mentally unstable girls identifying as transgender". It cites an at the time obscure study suggesting that being trans, specifically transmasc, is communicable. It's pseudoscience, but nobody cares. A woman goes on national television funded by tax payer money to complain about being silenced. Parents come in to misgender their sons, and shortly thereafter one of these sons talks on social media about how his mother was lying through her teeth the entire time. No trans person is allowed to speak. The documentary is mass reported for its obvious bias, misinformation and invading the privacy of a trans man. In the end, it's only charged for the privacy breach - in the eyes of the public, the bias and misinformation are forgivable. A sequel is released in the fall of the same year when they actually bring in a trans person... a trans woman. As if to say "this is what a real trans looks like, unlike you mentally unstable girls". They then announce that they are detransitioning and calls themselves a "effeminate gay in a woman's body". Now the narrative is more like "if even this real trans wasn't actually trans, what makes you think you could be?"

My mental immune system went into overdrive, I panicked. This was new to me but I knew we would have to deal with this brand of transphobia for a long time going forward. I also knew that these people obviously hated trans men and trans men specifically, this was reactionary pushback against increased visibility. "No, you can't take up space like this, what about the children?" This rhetoric is also literal gaslighting - it teaches you that if you happen to be a trans man, especially if you came out as a teen and/or you're ND, you can't trust what's going on inside your own head, you're delusional, and you certainly don't deserve healthcare. I write a tumblr post describing to the best of my abilities why this is dangerous. It gets a couple of dozen notes, but not much else. I try to rationalize it - the post was written in panicked delirium and I didn't know what to call this rhetoric, I knew calling it "transmisandry" would get me laughed out of the room. Additionally, this isn't happening in the US (yet), so I have to be happy I even got notes at all.

I was pre-T at the time and I was terrified that this would prevent me from transitioning. Knowing that this documentary is now what most people in my country believe about me is a horrifying thought. At least one Swedish trans man attempted suicide following the documentary. As for me, I started crossing streets without looking for cars.

Strike one.

June 2020

An author whose work I never particularily cared about has a twitter meltdown over language designed to include me. She cries about feeling dehumanized by being called a person. Shortly thereafter she writes a full manifesto justifying her TERF sympathies. But this doesn't look like the typical TERF rant. While she goes over some very classic and violent TERF rhetoric like calling trans women predators, she spends even more words on regurgitating the rhetoric I knew from more than a year before. Some people sound the alarm about what this might mean for trans men, but they're shut down - TERFs don't hate trans men! Look, she said she included you! Just don't think too much about the fact that the reason this happened to begin with was that she threw a hissy fit over having to include me.

I try to rationalize this response again - this is many people's first exposure to this rhetoric, they just might not know quite what to make of it.

Strike two.

Summer 2020

A book is published once again rife with the rhetoric I was now very familiar with. The author is invited to the biggest podcast in the world where she says word salad about how people like me are women with unresolved body image issues and that's why we transition - T redistributes fat storage, that must sound awesome to women who hate their bodies. Just don't think too hard about how T actually allocates more fat to the stomach and how a woman with body image issues would realistically react to such a development.

The book itself is also vile. It misgenders trans men whose lives were lost to hate crimes. It fetishizes my reproductive organs, claiming that maintaining my fertility is more important than my wellbeing. I'm reduced to a breeding stock, what a shockingly feminist move.

It openly hates trans men who are out and proud with their experiences, it accuses them of stealing their children in a manner not unlike how autism parents talk about autism. But this might be worse - these are individuals who are being blamed. It makes uncomfortable remarks about their bodies and many of them are harrassed following the publication of this book.

At this point you have to stretch ridiculously far to claim that this isn't about hating trans men. I gave the people who should've been there for me the benefit of the doubt, and they proved me wrong. "Who do you think she believes is doing the seducing? It's trans women" I actually paid attention and she clearly blames trans men, why are you being this willfully ignorant? Does acknowledging the truth force you to reconsider your worldview?

Strike three.

That's when I ran out of patience. I realized the larger trans community was incapable of handling my issues with any tact or grace. We needed new terminology and rhetoric to address this emerging reactionary movement that specifically and obviously hates me and my brothers. And I refuse to back down now.

[lick-me-lennon22]

Trans Man!Reader X Beatles headcanons/How they'd support a trans (FTM) partner + help them through dysphoria 💙💙💙

(lengthy title, I know ^^' this amazing request is from @anonymous-blanket ! they originally asked for how the Beatles would help a trans [FTM] reader through dysphoria, but I sort of expanded it to add general headcanons- I hope you don't mind :) 💞)

⚠️⚠️⚠️DISCLAIMERS:⚠️⚠️⚠️

- I myself am a cis woman and this is solely based on the experiences my trans guy friends have been so kind as to share with me, as well as some of my own research on gender dysphoria and grounding techniques

- this is NOT entirely accurate to the 60s or 70s

- I have written these with the assumption that the reader has already come out and has transitioned or is currently transitioning; with that being said, none of the lads would ever out you or disclose your identity before you are ready to do so yourself/without your permission!

- all of the boys would respect your identity and address you by your name and preferred pronouns !!!

- please feel free to (kindly) correct me if any of this post is offensive or incorrect! I have written these headcanons with nothing but love and respect for the trans community ♡

Paul:

when you come out to Paul (if you were together before you began your transition), he's so proud of you for being your authentic self and so glad you're willing to share something like that with him

he immediately offers to take you out shopping and buy you a more masculine/comfortable wardrobe, as well as items such as boxers and binders if you want them

whenever you're up for it, Paul does your eyebrows and some masc contouring (if you ever want him to)- he's quite good with makeup, as he often does his own!

along with (of course) using your correct name and preferred pronouns, he showers you with gender-affirming nicknames and compliments ("my handsome man," "my prince," "dashing," "Adonis," etc.)

if you ever feel dysphoric about sitting down to pee, Paul reminds you that he also pees sitting down (hc)- "It's just more comfortable that way, no shame in it," he shrugs

he makes it a point to remind you how strong and handsome you are often

if you're having a particularly bad day and your dysphoria feels suffocating:

Paul respects your boundaries if you want to be left alone or don't want to be touched

he stays close to you and holds your hand if/as soon as you're okay with it

he tries to take your mind off of your discomfort and ground you by serenading you with your favorite songs

he listens attentively if you just want to vent, and gives you plenty of reassurance and words of comfort/validation if you need them

Paul reminds you that however you want to present is valid and that you are still, of course, a man- regardless of idiots who may tell you otherwise

"How can you not look like a man...? You are a man, love" ♡

John:

when you come out to John (if you were together before you began your transition), he talks you through everything you're feeling and listens intently when you share your experience with him

he suggests going to therapy if you feel like it'd be beneficial (he attends therapy sessions as well- hc)

he immediately assures you that he'll beat the living daylights out of anyone who dares to deadname or misgender you

John (without an ounce of subtlety) corrects anybody who uses the wrong pronouns to refer to you

he makes sure you know and always remember that your identity is valid

if you're comfortable with it, John places pride pins on his leather and denim jackets- regardless of the comments people make

he will absolutely go off on bigoted and closed-minded interviewers/reporters who question your identity or your relationship

John accompanies you into the men's restroom if you're nervous (and if you want him to) and will tell off/uppercut anyone who even looks at you the wrong way

if you're having a particularly bad day and your dysphoria feels suffocating:

John reminds you that your body doesn't dictate your gender and that your identity is 100% valid

he offers his clothes for you to wear if that would make you more comfortable

he helps ground you and distract you from your discomfort by putting on a silly movie for you to watch (together, if you'd like)

John carries his/your cat into your bedroom and places them in your lap for cuddles and purrs

he reminds you of what a hot, sexy stud you are ;)

"A... woman?? That's the dumbest thing I've ever 'eard. You can't 'look like a woman,' you ain't one- you're a man, love"

John tells you he can't wait until the day you become his husband ♡

George:

when you come out to George (if you were in a relationship before you began your transition), he sits patiently and listens as you share your feelings and experience with him

on his next trip out to the store, he buys doubles of all the masculine-scented hygiene products he usually purchases (body wash, deodorant, shampoo, etc.), as well as some extra boxers in your size in case you'd want them

when he arrives back home, he wordlessly places the items in your shared bathroom/dresser so you have access to all of them, but won't have to ask if you aren't comfortable enough to yet

he's very mindful about using your correct name and pronouns from the moment you come out to him

George supports you if you're on T and gives you daily reminders, or advocates for you if you aren't and want to be

he supports you equally if you don't want to start T at all!

he reminds you that your presentation doesn't invalidate your identity

he refers to you as "my boyfriend" or "my man," and tells you that you look sexy, dashing, and handsome ;)

if you're having a particularly bad day and your dysphoria feels suffocating:

George respects whatever you want to do and makes sure you're as comfy as possible if you just want to stay holed up in your bedroom for a while

he fetches you some comfy, baggy clothes in case you feel like disappearing into them for a bit, and offers you some of his clothes if you'd prefer them

he'll bring your pet into your room for some extra love and cuddle time

George will be considerate of your boundaries if you don't want to be touched, but stay by your side if you'll allow him

he's taught you how to meditate and will practice meditation with you as a grounding/relaxation strategy

"Remember, darling- your body doesn't dictate your gender. You are a man no matter what" ♡

Ringo:

when you come out to Ringo (if you were in a relationship before you began your transition), he is elated and relieved that you feel comfortable enough to share something like that with him

the next time you leave the house without Ringo, by the time you've arrived back home, he's set your entire dining room up like a gender reveal party: complete with an It's a Boy! banner and everything blue he could find (it's overkill, but he means well)

on the table is a care package he's bought and assembled for you

in it, he's included plenty of masc-scented soap/deoderant/shampoo, boxers, a pricey and great-quality binder (if you've expressed that you want to bind), and a very thoughtful handwritten and decorated card

from then on and if/when you're ready, Ringo makes a point of (re)introducing you to everyone (and I mean everyone) as his boyfriend- you both love the sound of it!

he'll give you the most genuine, validating compliments out of nowhere

for example: the first time you watch your favorite show together after you've come out to him, Ringo admits that he's always thought you looked/sounded a lot like one of the main characters (who happens to be male)

if you're having a particularly bad day and your dysphoria feels suffocating:

if you're still alright with being touched, Ringo smothers you in one of his famous bear hugs and tells you that everything is okay and you're no less valid for feeling this way about your body

he brings your favorite snack/treat into your room for you to eat and enjoy

he'll sit on the bed and engage in honest conversation with you if you feel like venting; if not he brings you all of the pillows, blankets, and/or stuffed animals in the house- as well as any clothes you'd like to change into

he showers you with gender-affirming nicknames and compliments: "my handsome man," "my prince/king," "heartthrob," "hunk," "stud"... some of them silly, but all of them sincere

Ringo is sure to remind you that no matter what your body looks like or how you're feeling about it in this moment (and no matter what bigoted asswipes may say to either of you), you are just as valid and masculine as any other man:

"Because that's what you are, my love- a man!" ♡

[mlm-mod-taka]

Hey hey!! I hope you're doing well, Mods Kiyondo and Taka!! (Don't feel any rush to answer, and drink some water while you write!!! Self care is very important!!)

[Even though I may not be good at it]

Anywho, may I request some Hajime with a trans ftm partner who started a band with Ibuki after she left her old one?

MUSICIAN S/O • hajime x trans ftm reader

hi mod makoto! im doing pretty okay, and do not worry, i did drink water. i hope you all do so too! anyways, of course you can. i really liked this concept, so it only took me around 20-30 minutes to do. i hope this didn't effect the quality and that its still good enough!

tws/cws: ibuki threataning hajime violently, stalkers, doxxing, invasion of privacy, transphobia, misgendering & dead naming.

|| -> mod taka <3

out of all of the wonderful men he expected to fall in love with, he was pleasantly surprised that it was you of all people. but! he isn't complaining at all. it was just very unexpected, is all.

how you two met was actually through ibuki. she claims to be both of yours' wing woman, and constantly asks questions about the relationship.

she also often threatens hajime to never hurt you or else she'll chase him with all of her guitars, then break every single one of them over his head. you're pretty sure she's joking, but only pretty sure. mioda is a very protective person over people she loves, so wish him luck if she actually does mean it.

he's not the biggest fan of music, but you quickly change that for him. it doesn't matter what genre it is, he'll listen to every single one of your songs in repeat, and ask others to stream them like he does.

if you ask him for any music ideas though, he'll freeze on the spot. he really loves your music and wants to help you out any way he can, but he doesn't have the best ideas, or taste.

if you ever do that thing that some musicians do for their lovers, which is make a song about them, then he might actually cry out of how happy and flustered he is. please don't do this to him because he can and will ugly sob.

actually really likes most of your fans/stans! hajime often interacts with the nice ones of twitter, and agrees with them on a lot of positive things they think about you.

if any fan takes it a little too far though, like going out of their way to find out things that are very personal and should be kept confidential, he'll call the manager of your guys' band to handle them.

there are also those really invasive people that purposefully deadname/misgender you, or try to find your deadname. as a result, he'll report their account, as well as block them on your personal social media so you don't have to deal with such disgusting people. you don't deserve to see that, you are a boy no matter what any one else says.

is just super duper supportive of you! protects you from genuine hate and shows you the nice criticism that people give, also interacts with your fanbase alot, which they picked up on.

the whole fandom ships you two and makes a lot of ironic memes about hajime being a simp, which he technically is. he would gladly be labeled a simp, since he loves you so much!

[gaythingliker69]

PLEASE READ

TW: transphobia, mentions of hate crime

Hi, so since my post the other night I feel a sort of responsibility to tell people the situation of trans people in the UK. The short answer is it’s really bleak. The first thing I’ll mention is that in 2017 a trans woman was given residency in New Zealand from the UK as she faced “persecution” for her gender identity. The NZ authorities ruled that to send her back here would be “unduly harsh”. This must be at the forefront of everyone’s mind when trans rights come up in the UK, though it’s been forgotten over the last few years.

At that point the Labour Party was sort of ok for trans rights, with then leader Jeremy Corbyn calling for self ID. He certainly wasn’t perfect but he was better than his replacement. Corbyn was replaced by Sir Keir Starmer last year, and in his campaign for the leadership he refused to sign a pledge for trans rights, which was signed by his competitors Rebecca Long-Bailey and Lisa Nandy. The fourth contender, Emily Thornberry, refused to sign the pledge but spoke of her support for trans rights after the fact. Gemma Stone, a trans woman who said she was considering joining Labour but decided against it, described Starmer’s silence on the issue as “deafening”.

These days, Parliamentary support for trans rights comes from the backbenches - Members of Parliament who don’t hold a position as a government minister or shadow government minister. These include Zarah Sultana (the responses on that tweet are awful, but gives you an idea of what we’re up against) and Nadia Whittome of the Labour left, and Layla Moran of the Liberal Democrats, the first MP to identify as openly pansexual. Nicola Sturgeon, leader of the Scottish National Party, has called transphobia “not acceptable” in her party. However, Moran lost the LD leadership contest to Sir Ed Davey in 2020, so no party in Parliament in England and Wales has a platform for trans rights. Starmer has appeared to embolden transphobia by not cracking down on MPs like Rosie Duffield. We are very much on our own. Even on the far left, often accused of supporting trans rights as a means to undermine Western civilisation or something (I joke but I think you get my point), has major issues with it. The Communist Party of Britain has rumours and allegations of transphobia in its ranks, and the Communist Party of Great Britain (Marxist-Leninist) infamously referred to LGBT+ politics as “anti-Marxist” and “anti working class”. Are there no working class LGBT+ people? Regardless, even the people who are labelled as liking us don’t appear to.

And Johnson’s Conservatives are a non starter. Just this year, they proposed making unenrolled deed polls (a method of quickly changing your name) invalid. This would mean there is a publicly available list of trans people and other vulnerable individuals, like those trying to escape or disassociate from abusive partners. The process would require consent from any spouse (the only other process of this nature that requires this is gender recognition for trans people) and the addresses of those who have changed their names would be public knowledge. I shouldn’t have to tell you how dangerous that is. It also appears there is little being done to stop the rise in hate crime, which were reported to have quadrupled last year. Politics is openly hostile from nearly every corner, it would seem.

In terms of healthcare there has been a similar decline. The BBC described waiting lists of over 3 years for gender clinics as “hell” (bear in mind this article was written before the pandemic hit the UK), though there were claims on Twitter that these times were up to 60 months in some places. These waiting times can lead to people taking the unfamiliar and often expensive private route. The High Court recently ruled that under 16s are unlikely to be able to give informed consent on puberty blockers, a troubling ruling that could have dangerous consequences depending on how the courts extend it in the future. The ruling that puberty blockers can only be used after you’ve gone through the bulk of puberty is a really curious one from a logical standpoint - they are not hormones, they are not irreversible. But I fear that’s what the courts or Parliament will come for next.

If you’re looking for an alternative source with different information from someone older, here’s a decent thread on how British transphobia partly emerged from the Skeptics in the Pub movement, making it unique to this hellish little rock.

This overview is really brief, and it would require me going a lot further in depth to go into how the media has fed into this, the controversies surrounding certain private doctors, or different groups and dog whistles they’ve adopted. But for now, I honestly feel quite helpless. There’s not much you can do to affect Parliament, especially not with the new laws coming in around protest in the Police, Crime, Sentencing, and Courts Bill. Petitions are useless unless they’re done through the Parliament website. If they gain 10,000 signatures they go to a petitions committee, then maybe the House of Commons itself. Only to be almost definitely voted down by Johnson’s Conservatives and their majority. Just please, spread this for all of us living here, and give any sort of suggestions for action. I fear this is going to get far worse before it gets better. We can but hope I’m wrong.

Update: 05/05/21

There have been some recent developments that I’m gonna note. I might use this as a sort of compilation document of documenting our position here.

Maya Forstater was a contracted consultant at the Centre for Global Development. Her contract wasn’t renewed in 2019 after a series of transphobic Twitter posts caused staff to complain about her. She received support from the Index for Censorship and was able to crowdfund her campaign. At the Central London Employment Tribunal, Judge James Tayler branded her views “not worthy of respect in a democratic society”. He said that her views weren’t protected under the Equality Act 2010 as they “violated the dignity” of trans people due to her insistence on misgendering. Judge Tayler did not say she couldn’t conduct so called ‘gender critical’ campaigns.

Part of Tayler’s judgement from the above linked article, the judgement itself can be read here. Various views on the case can be found in the ‘Reaction to the tribunal judgement’ of the Wikipedia article.

Forstater appealed, and there is yet to be a judgement. However, the Equality abs Human Rights Commission has intervened to say that Forstater’s beliefs are protected under the Equality Act as they are philosophical beliefs. The irony in this should be clear. The equality watchdog making an effort to protect bigotry over people’s right not to face abuse. I’ll update this when the decision is handed down, which will be later in the year.

[kindness-ricochets]

SoC Hospital AU

First & most important, thank you to a friend for sensitivity reading this (not putting a name because I don’t have permission to do that, but you know who you are <3). Even so: I am a cis writer including a trans character, so if there’s anything wrong or inappropriate in the fic, please tell me. It is never my intent to cause anyone offense.

TW: misgendering (some out of ignorance, some less so), allusions to suicide attempts

This place was too cold. Jesper lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling, with the covers pulled up to his shoulders. The crocheted blanket didn’t really keep him warm. As he tried not to die of boredom, he slid his fingers into the gaps and out, wriggled them all the way through and—

Crap.

He looked at the blanket. How had his knuckles made it through the weave only to get stuck?! Jesper tugged at it, but ultimately needed his other hand. His stitches hurt when he sat up.

It wasn’t like he had nothing to do, either. His homework was right there. A guy couldn’t even have appendicitis these days without a little APUSH reading to go along with it.

He poked at the stitches and resolved not to do it again.

The hospital was a boring place. Presumably the surgery itself had been a little more exciting. Jesper barely remembered it. How was that for a bit of luck?! One of the most exciting things to happen in a guy’s life and he was all delirious! So now he sat on a semi-comfortable bed in a too-cold room. He had a window, at least, not that he could see much through it. A curtain was drawn across the room long-ways, like he might get jealous of that empty bed and… and race them or something. Yeah, like rig up an oxygen tank and have a two-bed hospital race, that would be cool!

He wasn’t going to, but it was fun to imagine.

Jesper knew he should do some reading. Exams and all that. But he knew it was pointless, to. His mind would wander after a few minutes. And if he was being honest, he didn't actually want to study. Didn't he deserve a break? A proper sick day?

So he leaned back and decided if he was stuck on his own, he might as well entertain himself. He sang to himself. He started with “Walk the Line”—picked up courtesy of his father, who hadn’t even been born when it was first released, but played Johnny Cash all Jesper’s childhood.

It was a good song, anyway.

Jesper waited a moment after the end of it, pausing for an imaginary audience.

“Thank you so much, it’s an honor to be here tonight. Now, for my next hit, this is ‘Party in the CIA’ by Weird Al Yankovic…”

And obviously he had to do a few moves, it was a song that just begged for finger-guns, imaginary sunglasses, and pretend tie-straightening. He limited the moves after an objection from his stitches, but that in no way limited his good time. Except, Jesper had only got to a line that always got him—“We got snazzy suits and ties/and a better dental plan than the FBI’s!”—when he heard… laughter.

Jesper stopped the song.

“What the—I thought I was alone!”

There was no answer.

“Well, now I know I’m not, so you might as well speak up.” And ideally his roommate could confirm his age. Jesper was seventeen, so they had stuck him in the pediatric ward. He hoped he wasn’t bunking with a kid—that would be… weird. Plus he’d have to work on not cussing.

“H-hey,” said the other guy. He sounded a little younger, but Jesper couldn't be sure.

“Hey! So you like Weird Al?”

“Who?”

“Weird Al Yankovic. Never mind, never mind. How old are you?”

“Sixteen.”

“Cool, I’m seventeen. So what’re you in for? I had my appendix out.” And his roommate was close to his age, so he had someone to hang out with! Jesper glanced at his APUSH book, then back to his fingers tugging at the blanket.

“Did it hurt?”

Jesper hadn’t initially said it was appendicitis. He hadn’t known. He thought he just felt miserable, but he didn’t want his parents to worry. By the time he couldn’t pretend anymore that he was okay…

“Nah. They knocked me out, anyway. I’m just bored.”

“Me, too.”

“Want to play Twenty Questions?”

“Sure. You pick something first.”

“Got it. It’s a person.”

The game continued for a while. It wasn’t Jesper’s favorite game in the world, but it kept him occupied—that and toying with the blanket—even as they got into an argument over whether or not “a field” counted as a thing. It totally did, a specific field would have been a place, but this was a kind of place, which was a thing. 

“No, a place is a place, you can’t just decide a place is a thing!”

“Yeah, if it were a specific place, but it’s not a place. It’s a category of places.”

“So a room would be a thing, but this room is a place?”

“Glad we agree.”

“That is ridiculous.”

Jesper laughed. He was about to retort that it wasn’t ridiculous, it was logical, when the door opened. 

“You look cheerful,” Aditi Hilli reported, coming to sit on the edge of his bed. “How are you feeling?”

“Good. Just cold and my stitches are itchy.”

“Itchy means healing,” she said, smoothing a hand over his hair. 

“There you go, siding with medicine again!”

He knew she only had a minute. She wasn’t treating him, that would be a severe conflict of interest, but she had found time in her shift to stop in. So Jesper didn’t waste time groaning. He didn’t even put up a fuss when she hugged him.

“Are you dizzy or in any pain?”

“No.” It was a medical question, but he understood that it was a mom question, too. It was a how are you question with more detail.

“Have you—”

“Ma, I love you, but I am not talking to you about pooping.”

“Honestly, Jesper, I changed your diapers.”

“Ma!”

“After an appendectomy—”

Jesper grabbed the pillow and wrapped it around his head like massive earmuffs as he informed her, loudly, “Not listening! Not listening!”

She shook her head at him and checked his chart. Okay, fine, she knew she could get that information. He still didn’t want to have the actual conversation. Seriously, was nothing sacred?

She set down the chart. He set down the pillow.

“I’m glad you’re okay, little rabbit.”

Jesper slumped just slightly. It was easy to shrug off being sick, but he knew his parents had genuinely been scared. He should have told them earlier, but that was easy to say in hindsight. But he was already enough of a disaster. Telling them meant giving them one more thing to worry about, and he had expected to hurt for a while and recover on his own.

“I love you, too. I’m fine, I promise, just… bored. Do you have my tangle? Or my zippers?”

“No, but your father’s coming to see you after work. He wanted to stay but I knew you wouldn’t like him hovering.”

“Thanks for taking care of us.”

“I’ll ask him to look for your things. Do you know where they are?”

“Um… y’know… I think I have a couple bracelets in the bathroom, and my tangle might be in the back pocket of my jeans. I’m sick,” he reminded her, playing up his ‘sick face’ to avoid hearing about how he needed to clean his room. He knew that. He didn’t mean to leave it a mess, he just kind of… forgot. The mess was organic. 

“I’ll ask him.”

She kissed his forehead and left. There wasn’t a lot of down time in hospitals. Well… there was. But it all went to patients.

After a moment, Jesper said, “So… you heard that.”

Great. His anonymous roommate had heard his ma talking about his messy room. Among more embarrassing things.

“She seems nice,” his roommate said. “My mom’s a nurse, so I’m used to… you know, being asked about symptoms.”

“Great, I can’t wait to hear about whether or not you’ve pooped.”

“I’m not here for poop-related reasons.”

Jesper laughed.

***

It was much later when his roommate’s mom visited. Jesper’s da had been in and gone. Like Aditi, Colm was glad to see his son recovering. He had a more frank, less clinical way of saying how worried he had been. He brought Jesper a hat and socks for the cold, and two zipper bracelets and his infinity cube, so the nothingness of the room stopped grating on his nerves quite so badly. The feeling was difficult to describe—it was like having this emptiness building up against him so he couldn’t find a space to exist.

Jesper would always find something to fidget with, but knowing he had dedicated fidgets at hand softened an edge.

The roommates couldn’t see each other, but they could both see the door, so Jesper saw the woman with curly red hair come into the room and head over to his roommate.

“Hey, sweetpea.”

“Hi, Mom.”

That was… not his roommate’s voice. This voice was softer, higher, and a little nervous. Jesper couldn't help having his interest piqued by the shift. Sure, Jesper changed his tone with his parents, but he still sounded like Jesper. His roommate sounded like a stranger.

“How are you feeling?”

“Fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m fine.”

“Okay. I… ———… we love you.”

Well, damn, his roommate was a girl! Jesper thought back over their conversation, searching for anything he might’ve said that he maybe shouldn’t’ve.

“I love you, too, Mom.” She sounded like it hurt to say.

“If this is about what your father said the other day, he… he needs you to be patient with him.”

“Okay.”

“He’s trying.”

Jesper was, by now, sitting very, very still. He knew this conversation wasn’t meant for him to hear, but in a small room, he couldn’t exactly not hear what was said a few feet away. So he tried to stay quiet and not make them feel self-conscious—and, if he was being completely honest, he was curious.

“Why do you excuse everything he does?”

“He’s not perfect, but he loves us. You’re still his little girl.”

“Okay.”

“———.”

“Could you just leave me alone, please?” said his roommate, in what Jesper could only describe as an amazingly rude way.

“———.”

“If you had to lose me or leave him, who would you pick?”

“That’s not fair.”

Jesper’s roommate said nothing.

“I’ll come back later. I hope you feel better then.”

Jesper settled back on the pillow and closed his eyes, doing his very best impression of sleeping. The door opened and closed, and they were alone. He stayed quiet for a moment, absently turning his infinity cube over and over in his hand. He had wanted to go back to talking with his roommate… but now he didn’t know what to say. That had been a heavy conversation to just ignore.

Then he realized his roommate was crying.

“Hey,” Jesper said. “———?”

She didn’t answer. 

“You okay?”

“That’s not my name.”

“Oh.” Jesper looked at the cube, clicking idly in his hand. He had no idea what was going on. “My name’s Jesper, but I guess you knew that since my ma visited. You want to play twenty questions? I got a good one. C’mon, you’ll never guess!” he wheedled.

After a moment, his roommate sniffled, then asked, “Person, place, or thing?”

***

“I feel wronged.”

Jesper snorted. Yeah, that was about the most accurate summary of their current situation. He still hadn’t seen his roommate, but they called to each other across the curtains. The entire situation looked brighter in the morning light. Jesper felt better. His body was rapidly putting the surgery behind him.

Even sunshine couldn’t fix the picture in front of him, though. Last night, his da had brought him food from home. No such luck today: Jesper sat up in bed, mournfully regarding the hospital’s breakfast tray.

He lifted the toast and gave it a shake. It wriggled.

“I think they steamed the toast,” he said.

His roommate laughed. “Think they toasted it first?”

Jesper set the toast aside. “You eating yours?”

“I can’t.”

“Me too. The apple looks okay.”

“Looks are deceiving things.”

Jesper bit into his apple and shuddered. He carefully removed the piece of fruit from his mouth, trying to pretend he hadn’t felt that mealy hellflesh. 

“Cereal and milk it is!” he announced. “I got Corn Flakes. You?”

“Rice Krispies.”

“This is blatant favoritism and I won’t stand for it!”

“You just had surgery, you’re not supposed to be standing at all.”

“Wow,” Jesper said, not at all appreciating that. It was true, but… wow.

He poured the mini box of corn flakes and carton of milk into his bowl. The breakfast tray was a depressing sight. There was steamed toast and an apple that was an insult to other apples. Still, at least he had juice to look forward to and the jello had been pretty good.

Halfway through his Corn Flakes, he asked, “So what are you in for, anyway? I had my appendix out.”

“I was sleepwalking—it’s dumb. I thought I was eating Skittles.”

“What were you really eating? Steamed toast?”

“Aspirin.”

“Oh, shit.”

“I was sleepwalking.”

“Yeah, totally,” Jesper said, trying to sound like he believed it. 

A while later, once the salvagable parts of breakfast had been endured, Jesper’s roommate appeared around the curtain, leaning on an IV stand. She was small, the sort of girl who looked like she would never be more than 5'. She had freckles and a curly red-gold ponytail, and if Jesper was being completely honest, she was cute.

“Want to play cards?” she asked.

“Um—I…”

“Oh.”

“I didn’t mean—”

“No, it’s cool.”

“I have a gambling problem,” Jesper blurted out. “I can’t… it’s really… I have a problem. But if we keep it chill?”

“Sure. How about Go Fish? No one gambles over Go Fish.”

Gamblers would gamble over anything, but she sounded so sweet and optimistic, he didn’t want to ruin her bright outlook.

“Sounds good.”

She sat on the end of his bed and dealt. 

They made it a few rounds without chatting much, then she said, “I’ll tell you my name, but you can’t tell anybody.”

Jesper wanted to ask why she was trusting him, but instead said, “I won’t.”

She leaned nearer and whispered it. Jesper had suspected something like this. He appreciated having it confirmed. Now that he knew, he rearranged his thoughts about his roommate to use the correct pronouns.

“Wylan’s a cool name.”

Jesper’s roommate smiled at his cards, a smile that was determinedly interrupted with a scowl.

“Not as cool as Jesper,” he continued, “but still pretty cool. You want to play again?”

By that afternoon, they had both seen their mothers again. Wylan’s mom seemed to really love him, Jesper thought, even if she did use his deadname. The visit still left Wylan withdrawn, but Jesper talked his new friend into another round of Go Fish. It wasn’t such a fun game. It was about the company, though said company remained gloomy. He had a scowl like thunder.

“Here, I have an idea.” Jesper pulled off his beanie. “Do you want to…?”

Wylan took the hat, pulled it on, and tucked his hair up under it.

“I hate feeling it,” he said. “That’s probably stupid, but I hate it! It’s stupid. You have long hair and you don’t look like a girl!”

“You don’t look like a girl, either. And you don’t sound like a girl, I thought you were a guy until I heard your mom say your name. Which now I know isn’t your name,” Jesper added. 

The stormclouds began to disperse. 

“When I was a kid, I used to imitate cartoons.”

“Oh yeah? Can you still do it?”

Jesper didn’t have to hear the answer—which was just as well, because Wylan didn’t give him one.

“Do one for me! C’mon, just one.”

Wylan shifted, keeping his eyes on their forgotten game of Go Fish. Then he said, “Meep meep!”

“Pfft, Road Runner doesn’t count.”

“Road Runner’s a cartoon!” “You said one word and it was onomatopoeia!”

“Okay, yeah, but… okay. Okay.” Wylan took a deep breath, settled his shoulders, and stared at the sheets with a deepening blush as he said, “Duck season! Wabbit season! Duck season! Wabbit season! Wabbit season! I say it’s duck season, and I say, fire!”

Jesper laughed. “That’s really good!” he said. He wasn’t laughing at Wylan, but because the impression was so good, almost like different people when Bugs and Daffy spoke. Besides, the cartoon was a classic. Wylan must’ve known, because he smiled.

[babiefwoggy]

I need to fucking vent. Im losing followers, losing friends, losing sleep, crying my heart out, etc. Over the riots, the protesting, the murders.

This is gonna make zero sense as it's nothing but ramblings but whatever.

Let's start off this vent with this: I'm white

And I'm absolutely devastated by these murders.

Last night you could find me on my front porch, bawling my eyes out, with my grandpa trying to console me from ten thousand miles away.

Even my racist ass grandpa, while he has changed recently he still has his moments, said that this was not. Justified.

Black people should not be MURDERED because of their history, their culture, their skin.

Why the fuck do people have to die, in this dsy and age?

Every time something new happens I start to fucking cry

I cry for the man who died at the hands of a police officer, whom we're supposed to trust (x)

I cried for the trans man who was attacked by cops while being unarmed (x)

I cry for the woman who drowned her autistic son and blamed it on two black men (x)

I cried for the mentally ill woman that was pushed from the balcony (x)

I've been crying for two days straight, I can't handle this anymore.

I don't want to be fucking human right now. I don't want to be associated with y'all.

Y'all who:

Say George Floyd died because of underlying heart conditions

Say that cop was justified for putting his knee on Floyd's neck

Keep misgendering Tony McDade, including deadnaming him

Say Regis committed suicide

Won't speak up or cooperate

Won't even acknowledge it happened because it doesn't fit your happy lil world

Y'all are part of the problem

And even if you're white like me, or this doesn't directly effect you,

THERE'S SHIT YOU CAN DO

Sign petitions

Donate money

At least boost the hell out of things if you don't have money

Contact mayor's office, police headquarters, whoever you think is important

Let your voice be heard. Don't be silent about this. Voice opinions. Educate others. Do something.

And what not to do?

DON'T share videos or images of violence as there are minors and poc on all social media platforms and they do not need this. Not now

DON'T post pictures or names or protestors without masks and report all images or posts that do

DON'T stop speaking up

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But regardless of how long it took you, you shouldn't stop

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Dedicate your life to bring a good fucking person.

Dedicate your lives to equality.

Don't stop at black rights either. What about trans rights? Gay rights? Jew rights?

People shouldn't die because of who they are

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[fandom-necromancer]

022. ‘If you want to talk about it then say so. Don’t lie and pretend to be fine when you clearly aren’t.’

This was prompted by an awesome anon! Just to be clear, I am not trans myself and I can’t possibly know what you are going through. This is written based on research and what trans people shared online, so if anything I wrote here is wrong or offending, please tell me!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900 (Warning: trans character written by a non-trans person, body/gender disphoria, accidental misgendering (that is corrected), person misunderstanding body disphoria as mysogyny, dealing with past trauma, mentioned suicide attempt of minor character)

[part2]

‘Ya goddamn lunatic, we didn’t sign up for this shit, this is dangerous!’ Gavin would have chosen some other words, but other than Hank, Connor and Nines, he was phcking coughing around a gag he had gotten for some of these carefully chosen words. They were kicked into a chamber together that was promptly closed and even a strong punch from either RK couldn’t make the frame budge. How they had gotten themselves was easy: A damn rookie mistake from Detroit’s best. They had acted on a hunch and had suffered the consequences as they ended up being kidnapped by someone who considered himself the next big brain in science. Well, maybe the idiot was, Gavin wouldn’t know, maybe this machine would work and revolutionise society. But even if what their kidnapper told them was right, they hadn’t signed up for being the damn lab rats to go through it!

It had been so close, too. The room they had been held captive in the last few days had kept them isolated, but as soon as they were outside the androids could send a distress call. Unfortunately, the police roughly took thirteen minutes to respond to high priority calls and an average of thirty-three to second priority calls. So somewhere in between they could be rescued. The small house the lunatic used for these science experiments was traversable in less than two. And there was only so much resistance you could put up before landing in a phcking chamber that would phck your complete life over.

Seven minutes in, the chamber was powered up and it felt like being burned for the few seconds it lasted. Gavin and Hank screamed as every cell of their body was changed. Connor and Nines felt it too, but it didn’t hurt for them, it was more of a dull throb as their hull-pieces changed form and biocomponents changed functions. The more terrifying it was for them to watch their humans as they had the spare processing power to realise what was happening. As Hank and Gavin fell to the floor once the chamber had powered down their android’s managed to catch them. ‘Gavin! Hey, Gavin, say something!’, Nines demanded, hearing his brother do the same. Only as Gavin opened his eyes and locked them with his looking exhausted, Nines allowed his stress levels to settle a bit.

It was nine and a half minutes in, that there was noise outside. Nines rested Gavin against the wall before reassuring his human he would be back soon. Then he stood up and walked to the small window on the door. From there he could see the scientist still triumphantly grinning, telling members of Allen’s SWAT team he was victorious and that it worked, before lifting the pistol he had threatened them with to his head and pulling the trigger. Nines stared in shock as the body sunk to the floor and SWAT surrounded the man. Nines knocked at the chamber again to draw attention and an officer quickly figured out how to open the door via the terminal the scientist had stood behind before.

‘You got to be kidding me’, Sixty cursed shocked, while the rest of the team that wasn’t busy getting the scientist to the waiting ambulance stared with open mouths. Even Allen didn’t know what to say, as four women stepped out of the chamber.

-

Nines studied his human closely over the desk. There were a few changes that were difficult to overlook. His shoulders were a bit narrower now, his hips slightly wider and a change in posture due to the added weight in the front. What did he himself looked like? Most likely similar to Connor, if his brother’s change was anything to go by. ‘Would you quit staring for phck’s sake!’, Gavin hissed louder than he would like. ‘Everyone else does so already, don’t need your phcking judgement too!’ ‘I’m sorry’, Nines mumbled. ‘I wasn’t judging you.’ ‘Yeah sure you wasn’t.’ ‘Are you alright?’, Nines asked concerned. He knew this would be even harder for his partner than for the rest of them, but he had hoped to keep those words unspoken until they were home in private. ‘I’m fine!’, Gavin hearusfordern. ‘I’m better than ever!’ ‘Gavin.’ ‘No, don’t you Gavin me! Mind your own business!’ ‘If you want to talk about it then say so’, Nines whispered gently. ‘Don’t lie and pretend to be fine when you clearly aren’t. I’m here for you.’ But his human wasn’t having any of it. ‘we have work to do, Toaster!’

He sighed, hoping to get to talk with his husband once they were home. The fact that Gavin went straight to the bathroom and stayed there for a while was enough for Nines to know chances would be slim. He walked over to knock on the door, when Gavin came storming out and made a beeline for the kitchen. Nines sighed and entered the now empty bathroom to figure out a few things about his own body too.

Gavin knew the android would plan to talk with him about everything, he also knew that he needed it dearly. But he didn’t want to. So, he had locked himself inside the bathroom and refused to look in the mirror. As Nines had come to check on him he darted for the kitchen. He needed something. Who knew what he needed, but he had to busy his hands. What had helped him in his youth? He tried to remember what he had done when people kept bothering him, kept staring and staring and… His hands flew to the cupboard, then to the fridge. Hot chocolate was the only thing he would be able to easily make and he knew coffee would only make it worse. But something sweet enough to keep the bile at bay and something warm and comforting? Maybe he would at least calm down enough to actually use his brain again and talk to the one goddamn person he had ever really opened up to. The damn person that was stuck in the same situation. Well, not the same, but…

The microwave plinged him from his thoughts and he took the cup that was burning hot. ‘Shit!’, he cursed and hated how his voice had changed. It sounded higher. Maybe that was only his imagination, but that was enough to send him to the edge again. He gulped down the first mouthful of the sweet drink that was way too hot and burned enough to push tears to his eyes. Of course, that was the moment the toaster decided to come out of the bathroom and look at him. Phck. Gavin stormed towards the bedroom, leaving his cup behind and slamming the door. He needed to be alone, he needed to forget everything and just phcking let it all out.

It near physically hurt Nines to see Gavin avoid him and struggle with this alone, but he let him. The man wasn’t ready yet to accept help. Also, Nines didn’t know he could provide it. He wasn’t there when Gavin had gone through it the first time, he didn’t know what he needed. He looked at the cup of hot chocolate and took it into his hands. He would give him some more time. As it was at a drinkable temperature, he made his way over to the bedroom. He gently knocked at the door before entering, deliberately avoiding looking at the man that was lying on his front. ‘Don’t even try to phcking talk to me, alright?’, he threatened quietly, tired. Nines nodded, putting the cup on his bedside table and sitting on the edge of the bed. He waited for any other reaction and got it, when Gavin sat up groaning and took the cup, scooting closer. ‘I’m sorry. I’ll go to sleep now, okay?’ Nines nodded, taking refuge in the others weight against his side. Gavin still trusted him. That was all he needed to know for now. There would come the time to talk.

-

The next morning unfortunately, everything had changed again. ‘Where the phck is the goddamn mirror, tin-can?!’ Nines flinched in the kitchen while making breakfast. He looked over to where Gavin was standing in the doorframe. ‘I put it away’, he admitted. ‘Hey, toaster, if this is some kind of sympathy trip, then-‘ ‘It’s not!’, Nines was quickly defending himself, hoping to diffuse the situation. ‘I didn’t want to see me like this yesterday. I should have put it back up. You can of course take it if you are fine with it. I just didn’t want it.’ ‘If I’m fine?’ The android immediately knew he had said the wrong thing. ‘Nines, you don’t believe how not-fine I am with this. I am a woman again for phcks sake! Do you know how much effort I put into passing as a man? All that for nothing. I’m a phcking woman again!’ ‘Gavin, please, I-’ ‘No, I don’t want to hear it. Don’t come at me with the trapped in the wrong body bullshit. I’m fine with my body. I’m not fine with how people stare at me. How there is the need to know what I have between my legs. How they decide my pronouns for me instead of just asking. So, don’t you even try telling me how everything is good or will be good again, because right now, it just isn’t!’ Nines took a deep breath. ‘Gavin, I wasn’t going to say any of that. It is not for me to voice these thoughts even if I had them.’ ‘Good!’, the human near shouted. ‘Good.’ He took a deep breath. ‘Let’s get the phck to work then, this shit is only temporarily until we get this machine to work again and time flies when I’m knees deep in a murder investigation. Get a phcking move on!’

-

‘Hey, do you know where Reed is?’ ‘Hmm? Right there, why do you ask?’ ‘Oh, the new girl?’ ‘Hey, don’t say that! Didn’t you hear? He got caught up in some crazy shit, they are all turned. Nines, Connor, Hank…’ ‘Oh shit, my bad. Did they say something about how they want to be addressed?’ ‘Dunno, man.’

‘Hey, Gavin, do you have the SWAT report somewhere?’, Nines asked maybe a tick to loud to tune out their co-worker’s conversation. He didn’t know whether his partner could hear them, but he wanted to make sure none of that reached his ears. ‘Hmm? Yeah, has to be somewhere… Here you go.’ ‘Thanks.’ That was that navigated around, Nines thought, but his mood plummeted as he saw Hank and Connor walking over, a big smile on their faces.

‘And, how are you two faring?’, Hank asked, planting himself on Gavin’s table. The man just scrunched up his face in disgust. It made the Lieutenant laugh. Gavin tensed even more what made Nines take over quickly. ‘Well, how are you? I can’t believe you are taking it too well.’ Connor shrugged. ‘Well, gender has always been a bit weird for androids, hasn’t it? I don’t really mind it once you accommodated to it. I liked my old body better but I could live with it, should it be irreversible.’ ‘Well, I can’t’, Gavin spat at the other android. ‘What? Jeez, Gav, it’s 2039…’ Hank said, elbowing the man. ‘Or aren’t you not only anti-android but a fucking misogynist too?’ ‘I’m not-‘ Gavin gasped for air at it, but Nines was standing already. ‘Hank. Say another word and I will forcefully remove you from that table.’ ‘Alright, alright, fine. Just wanted to ask how it was going along.’ ‘Tech’s still working on figuring out how to make the chamber work. The scientist survived, but I don’t think he will ever be in the condition to explain anything higher than basic multiplication.’ ‘Shit. And any progress?’ ‘Turned a few mice to slush, don’t really want to call it progress yet’, Gavin mumbled. ‘Shit. Well, keep me updated. Me an’ Connor will head out for a new case.’ ‘Have fun.’

-

‘Phck Hank, seriously! Right when I thought the guy grew on me he says something like that.’ ‘I’m sure he meant it as a joke’, Nines tried to console Gavin walking up and down their living room. ‘Well, then it wasn’t funny at all.’ ‘I have to agree’, Nines sighed. Gavin flopped down next to him. ‘Phck, I really hope they get the damn thing working again’, Gavin breathed. ‘And I’m sorry I yelled at you so much, this all is just… It’s too much all over again.’ ‘I understand you’, Nines muttered. ‘I… err…’ ‘What?’ ‘Can I touch you? Or does it make things worse?’ ‘I don’t know’, Gavin answered on all honesty. ‘Can I try?’ ‘Yes, please.’

Nines leaned closer and laid his arms around the man. If he was being honest it wasn’t solely to comfort Gavin but also himself. This really wasn’t what he wanted. He felt uncomfortable as well, but with his feelings he only managed to catch a glimpse of what Gavin had to go through his entire youth and now again. ‘You are what you say you are’, he whispered into his ear. ‘I love you. I don’t know how to make this any better, but we will get through this together, okay? I’m sure they will figure things out soon.’ ‘Thank you. I know. It’s just… I feel extremely anxious about it. Well, it feels like anxiety, I’m more than just anxious about it. You know what I’ve been through before, you saw all of me already. You saw the-‘ ‘I saw you’, Nines confirmed. ‘But I still see you now. You are not only your body Gavin. To me your appearance only matters because it matters to you. And we will change it back I promise. You can trust me.’ Gavin relaxed in his arms and Nines held him. It felt good to have Gavin confiding in him again. They spent most of the evening like that, cuddled together, comforting each other. Nines had made him his hot chocolate again and as it became dark outside, they had relocated to their bedroom, staying connected all the time. Holding a hand, brushing against a hip. Gavin had become sleepy in his embrace and Nines was breathing slow against his neck. Although both were tired, sleep didn’t come easy and they stayed awake far beyond their normal time, together and still alone with their thoughts.

Until at four o’clock Nines huffed out a small laugh and pressed Gavin close. ‘What happened?’, Gavin asked confused, slurring the words. ‘Gavin? I just got a message from Connor. The mice survived.’ Immediately Gavin was awake. ‘What means?’ He turned around looking at Nines full of hope. The android smiled and kissed Gavin’s forehead. ‘That means it’s time for the lab rats to try it. Come on, get dressed!’

[>next part]

[genderpunktheo]

Hi, Now that ADAM is closer to opening in theaters, I've read a handful of fair and thorough reporting that makes a compelling argument against your call to preemptively boycott the film. You're even quoted in one of the articles, but a lot of the points you made are debunked by people who've seen the film or seem to be an oversimplification the film itself. What's your take on it now? Will you see the film?

Okay first of all: “your call to boycott the film” that’s not what happened at all. I specifically said that I wasn’t asking people to boycott the film, simply asking people to share my post about what the book was about so that trans and lesbian teens could choose whether or not to watch it with all of the information available to them. Other people started a boycott, but certainly not me. I didn’t even sign the petition to get the film pulled.

If people want to go and see it, that’s fine. I can’t stop them and nor would I try to. But I want people to be able to make the choice to go and see it with all of the information, not to go into it expecting a trans film and be surprised by what they end up with. 

Secondly, no one has debunked any of my points. My points were made about the book and are 100% true - nor has anyone, even the director of the film, tried to deny that. 

What they have said is that the film is different from the book and that they’ve made a lot of changes in order to make the narrative less harmful. I have no way of knowing whether or not that’s true since I haven’t seen the film but I really really hope that it is. Reportedly, they’ve removed the scene where he rapes her, which is a great start. 

BUT (and it’s a big but)

The film is still ultimately about a cis man pretending to be a trans man. Personally, I don’t think this can ever be something that’s handled well (though I’d like it if they proved me wrong) because of the current climate that we are in where trans identities are already perceived as costumes. Most people don’t actually think of me as nonbinary - they think of me as a girl dressed up. And this film, whether they intend it to do this or not, will reinforce that to a lot of people. 

It’s also playing off the transphobic (and especially transmisogynistic) trope that people are trans in order to get sex with someone who is otherwise off-limits to them... since in both the book and the film (according to those articles) Adam lies about being trans in order to have sex with a lesbian. This is an incredibly dangerous stereotype about trans people that literally gets us killed so to have a film coming out that says “hey look at this male person going trans in order to get with a lesbian!” is.... not good?

And finally, he’s still pretending to be a trans MAN in order to get with a LESBIAN. Meaning that the film is still presenting the idea that trans men ultimately aren’t real men because they have vaginas. 

Because of this, I still believe that the film will be incredibly harmful. I’m glad they at least tried I guess?? But it’s not something that’s fixable. I don’t believe that any of my points have been debunked - that transphobia is still there. 

Perhaps all of these things will be debunked. Perhaps other characters will call Adam out, perhaps it will be shown onscreen to be wrong. I hope so but I have a lot of doubts about it.

The director’s main defence of the film, as he’s quoted in those articles basically boils down to “trans stories shouldn’t have to be perfect and unproblematic in order to be told, we should be allowed to tell messy stories blah blah blah.” 

And in theory, I agree with him. I agree that we should get to tell messy stories about trans people, and that trans people shouldn’t have to be perfect role models in order to be worth making art about, and that we shouldn’t demand perfection from a minority in that way. 

But here’s the thing: ‘Adam’ is not a trans story, messy or otherwise. It is a cis story about a cis boy written by a cis woman based on cis stereotypes about what trans lives are like. 

The director being trans doesn’t suddenly make this story about a cis boy a trans story. And a cis boy pretending to be trans doesn’t count as a trans character. So whether we agree or disagree that the film is harmful... it’s still not a trans film. 

There’s the idea that this film takes cis ideas about trans people and turns them on their head. They think that Adam pretending to be trans is subverting something, that having him be the only cis straight person surrounded by trans queer people will make him the other, and that they can explore that. That they can take the stereotype of “trans deception” and make it “cis deception.” 

But from where I’m sat? They haven’t subverted anything. It’s still just “trans deception” - because it’s someone pretending to be trans to get a lesbian. You can’t subvert a transphobic trope by... just doing the trope?? That’s not what subversion means. Where is the subversion?? What’s different about this??? 

And then there’s the fact that a trans cast member spoke out about how terribly they were treated on set, and how they were othered and misgendered constantly. That gives me very limited faith in this team’s ability to pull off a film in a way that’s trans-friendly - let alone to pull off this specific film with such murky origins. 

Like I said, I haven’t seen the film. Maybe it will turn out they’ve pulled all of this off amazingly and I’ll be wrong. I’m happy to be wrong - in fact, I would prefer that because it would mean good news for the trans community instead of bad news.  For right now though? No, I will not be going to see the film and my opinion has not changed much. 

[notquiteaghost]

there isn't enough nonbinary jon sims content, here is... well i started writing this as headcanons but this is really a not!fic about nonbinary jon sims. it’s 3′300 words

it contains: nonbinary trans masc autistic jon, jongeorgie, lesbian georgie, trans guy martin & tim, trans woman sasha, team archives trans solidarity, and not-insignificant amount of internalised transphobia and references to misgendering & general cis people bullshit

(also ftr i am heavily basing jon's experiences here as a nonbinary autistic person on my own experiences as a nonbinary autistic person) (this is like 80% projection) (what else is fandom for!)

also on AO3 if you prefer your 3k of bullet points to have better spacing

tiny baby [jon] who knows she isn't very good at being a girl but doesn't have the words to articulate why

her grandmother thinks kids clothes should be durable and practical so even tho jon is not a kid who climbs trees or plays football, her wardrobe is exclusively straight jeans & 'boys' t-shirts & large jumpers

she keeps her hair roughly shoulder length because that's the length it's always been but strangers still 'mistake' her for a boy a lot. this makes her feel a way she again hasn't got the words for

when she starts secondary school she continues to dress 'masc', never starts wearing makeup, never gets any interest in dating, generally fills out the checklist for everyone else assuming she's a lesbian

she knows she's definitely not a straight girl, so she shrugs and decides sure, she's a lesbian. it's a moot point, mostly, seeing as even if she did have any interest in dating she's the only gay person her age she knows

but she does get involved in some community support stuff – she spends a lot of time in the library as a teenager, and one of the librarians is a lesbian who takes jon under her wing a bit

coffee mornings and book clubs and things like that. sixteen year old jon and a dozen queer women all in their late twenties at the youngest. they joke a lot how often they forget jon isn't also a thirty-something

(this is that autism feel of having no interest in your peers but getting on great with adults)

and then she goes to uni, and then she meets georgie

georgie is a Very Out lesbian. she goes to clubs, she's heavily involved in the lgbt society, she has a rainbow flag hanging in her bedroom window. yknow.

jon likes her a lot, and still isn't really sure if it's romantic or not, but assumes that's more due to being gay than anything else

(no one has told jon about asexuality yet)

so when, one night when they're meant to be studying in georgie's room but instead are mostly drinking shit cheap wine and complaining about their professors, georgie looks at jon with this soft look on her face and asks to kiss her, jon says yes

and then they date

they're both living in one of those massive student houses with a thousand bedrooms crammed everywhere and only a kitchen for a communal space. georgie has lived there since coming back to finish first year, and jon moved in halfway through second year after a somewhat disastrous flatmate situation

so after they graduate, moving in together seems like the natural progression of things even tho they’ve only been dating for two months

jon is still, when asked, identifying as a lesbian and using she/her, but is also still dressing what other people now call butch. she always feels kind of weird about that term, but again, just chalks it up to the mess of complicated feelings being a gnc lesbian does genuinely involve

and then, finally, jon meets some actual trans people

jon has, circumstantially, known trans people. thanks to georgie, jon goes to a lot of lgbt soc things, and is passingly familiar with most of the lgbt people on their campus

but there’s a big difference between nodding at someone when you see them in the library and having an actual, proper conversation about gender

so, jon goes to a lot of social events because georgie does. without georgie, jon would probably not leave the house except to go to work and to the library (jon is not doing postgrad. jon’s library habits do not particularly reflect this)

mostly at these events, jon sits in the corner and reads, and only talks to other quiet antisocial people, while georgie circles back periodically to report on her social butterfly escapades

and at one, one of the other quiet antisocial people is a trans guy

he’s called harry, and he asks about the book jon is reading, and after they’ve been talking a while he says, “sorry, you probably get this a lot, but what pronouns do you use?”

jon just blinks at him and says “what”

“well, i’m trans, so i’m always really cautious about assuming,” harry says, easily, and this does not answer the question jon was asking

jon.exe has crashed

she(?) eventually says, “uh. she? i’ve never– she”

and harry, who has spent the last forty minutes discussing dante with jon and is already sure they’re going to be friends, says “want the trans 101? you’re making a face like you need it”

three hours later georgie finally reappears with the intent to actually interrupt (she’s drifted past periodically, but jon was always deep in conversation with harry, so she left them alone) and get going, and jon gets harry’s email address and is then very quiet as they walk arm-in-arm back to their house

just as they turn onto their street, jon says, “i, ah. i think i might be trans?”

georgie, who has for the past couple months been having something of a crisis after realising she definitely loves jon but she isn’t in love and she can’t figure out why, says “oh thank god”

jon, very bemused, “that wasn’t the reaction i was expecting”

“i think we should break up,” georgie replies, and jon stops walking. they’re four feet from their front door, but it’s late, no one’s about, so georgie decides sure, they can have this conversation in the street

“you– because i’m trans?”

“i love you, i really do,” georgie steps closer, takes jon’s hands in hers, “but i’m not in love with you. and it was driving me crazy trying to figure out why, but if you’re not a girl–”

“i can’t tell if i should be offended by this or not,” jon says, somewhat dazed, “i’ve been trans for an hour, georgie, i don’t know if this is transphobic yet”

georgie laughs, and presses a kiss to jon’s cheek, and says “it’s nearly midnight, we both have work tomorrow, let’s table this for later. we can look up names and what word i should use when i complain to other people how you always leave your shoes in the middle of the floor when we aren’t both on the verge of passing out”

and that sounds reasonable, so jon nods, and kisses georgie on the mouth, and then they go inside

the next day jon stops by the library on the way home from work and checks out almost every baby names book they have. georgie comes home and he’s sat at the kitchen table making a spreadsheet

“you don’t have to make it this complicated, you know,” she says, hooking her chin over his shoulder to read what he’s already got. the spreadsheet has a lot of columns.

“it’s my name,” he retorts, and she hums agreeably, then points to ‘jonathan’, which has relatively few ticks in any pro columns (god, this nerd), and says, “isn’t that your grandfather’s name?”

it is. he doesn’t talk about his grandfather a lot – doesn’t talk about his family a lot full stop, but she knows, even though he died when jon was still a toddler, the stories his grandmother told had a significant impact

“my parents didn’t name me after anyone,” jon says, quietly

georgie nods. she doesn’t say they’re not here now to offer an opinion, because that’s far harsher than jon deserves to hear, and it’s not like she ever needs to remind him of it either. he’s definitely already beating himself up for taking so long to come to this realisation there’s no one left around to tell him how they’d have reacted

“i think it suits you,” she says instead, and jon nods, and then she moves away to make a pot of tea and some pasta (it’s technically jon’s night to cook, but she was anticipating coming home to find him already hyperfocused beyond the point of no return)

a week later, jon looks up from the spreadsheet to where georgie is curled up on the sofa reading and says “ugh, fine, you win, you were right”

(georgie hadn’t pressed her point any further, jon is just like that)

“jon?” she asks, and he makes an exasperated noise and nods, then closes his laptop dramatically and stands. most of his spine pops when he stretches

“this calls for celebration” georgie says, also standing, “franco’s or monsoon?”

“franco’s. i’m going to eat a pizza the size of a car”

so then jon is actually going by jon, and using he/him, and isn’t dating georgie anymore but is still living with her and spending most of his time with her and factoring her into all his major decisions

he talks to harry, and other (binary) trans people, and reads a lot of blogs, and after a few months gets a referral to charing cross gic

by the time he starts at the magnus institute, he’s had top surgery and has been on T for years, and passes as cis completely, and he doesn’t know how to articulate it but this is. bothering him.

he’s not exactly… he likes being stealth, he doesn’t need to flaunt his personal life. he can understand the impulse, but he doesn’t share it. his feelings about gender and romance are no one’s business but his own

but. everyone assuming he was a girl itched – being miss simms, georgie’s girlfriend, she, it felt like wearing a coarse knitted jumper. it was exhausting

and, for a while, everyone assuming he was a man was a relief. it didn’t make his skin crawl, it didn’t make him want to scream, it was nice. it felt good.

it didn’t feel right. but it didn’t feel bad, either, and jon has never been gendered in a way that felt right. he thought that was just part of being trans

except. he moves to london, and he starts at the magnus institute, and he wears shirts and slacks, and the long skirts and patterned dresses some of his colleagues wear keep catching his eye the way men in three-piece suits used to, and that terrifies him

he was lucky, in a way, having no family left to care when he transitioned – if anyone reacted negatively, he could just cut them out of his life, and his social circle was already queer enough that was hardly necessary

but that doesn’t mean he escaped internalising a whole swathe of shit about what being trans should mean and how he should act and what he should want and if he wants to wear skirts then is he even a man? was he making it up all along after all?

naturally, he deals with this by ignoring it. he’s a man, men don’t wear skirts, he doesn’t wear skirts, that’s that.

he manages to keep that up until he’s made head archivist, and he’s given three assistants who are all also trans

(he doesn’t know if elias did it on purpose. elias knows he’s trans, of course, because he’s never bothered to get the name on his diploma changed, but the way elias reacted lead jon to assume elias may also be trans. and if that’s true, then selecting only trans people for the archives staff feels like a kindness more than anything)

and, the thing about them all being trans, is even if jon and martin are both rather fond of being stealth, and sasha and tim aren’t used to being out at work, and none of them are exactly friends, they’re the only people who ever come in the archives, so the archives very quickly becomes the Safe Trans Zone

they all vent a lot about cis people. sasha will walk in and the first words out her mouth will be “the next person to ask me if i’d had the surgery is getting their own surgery when i cut their tongues out”, and tim will make a commiserating noise and offer her the pack of donuts martin brought in

so when, on one of the rare afternoons when jon leaves his office to lean against tim’s desk and brainstorm organisational system ideas, martin walks back from the break room upstairs with a scowl and says, bitterly, as he sits back down, “oh so when cis guys wear nail polish it’s inspiring and breaking down gender roles but when i wear nail polish, jenny from HR gets to side eye me and ask if that means i changed my mind, because surely i’m the one who’ll do that and not all the men who didn’t have to do hours of therapy to establish they are definitely, one hundred percent for sure a guy!”

tim and sasha both make the standard commiseration noises, and sasha says something about the supervisor at her last job trying to say it wasn’t appropriate for her to wear trousers, and jon stops listening and runs away moves back to his office

he hadn’t noticed martin is wearing nail polish, is the thing. or, he had noticed it, but he hadn’t thought about it, and now he’s thinking about it. he’s thinking about it a lot

martin had– martin is a guy. martin is definitely a guy, if something of a feminine-leaning gay guy, the kind of feminine-leaning no one ever questions in cis guys, and it hadn’t occurred to jon to question martin, either, even though he’s trans, and. and.

he’s still circling round a revelation he can’t quite make himself have an hour or so later, when martin sticks his head round the door

“you, uh. you alright?” martin asks, incredibly tentatively. it says a lot, jon thinks, about how nice martin is, that he’s asking even though there’s a 90% chance jon will tell him to fuck off “you kind of disappeared abruptly, earlier. i didn’t upset you, did i?”

jon stares at him for a long moment, then says, “can i see your nail polish?”

“oh!” martin’s cheeks flush, just slightly, as he steps inside the office and lets the door shut behind him “uh, yeah, of course. it’s a little chipped, now, but, yeah”

martin’s nail polish is a light, pastel blue. it’s neat, and even, though his nails aren’t that long, and jon thinks he remembers martin saying something about mostly painting his nails to try and get himself to stop biting them. jon’s never really gone for nail polish, but it’s. nice.

“it’s, uh. it’s a good colour, on you,” he says awkwardly. martin flushes even more

“oh, um, thanks? did– are you alright?”

if jon was a different kind of person, this is where he’d open up to martin, and this would be the beginning of them becoming actual friends

jon is jon, though, so he just shoves all his emotions back in the box they escaped from, nods, and says “i didn’t sleep that well, is all. not really up to socialising”

(an aside about s1 jonmartin dynamic: jon is very good at shittalking martin when martin isn’t around, but in the face of martin’s genuine care and concern, he defaults back to a far more friendlier tone than he’s aiming for. he knows, on a level, that he and martin could be good friends if he ever got his shit together, but that is something else he’s currently repressing. he doesn’t need friends! he isn’t desperate for social contact at all! what’s loneliness!)

martin says “ah, okay, i’ll just– i’ll leave you alone, then”, and then jon makes himself focus on work, and then when he gets home he opens the group chat he’s still, thankfully, in with the trans people who got him through his first gender crisis and sends ‘help i don’t know if i’m a guy after all’

three people immediately send back a link to nonbinary.org

and that’s the rest of jon’s evening

he reads through every article. he reads several articles multiple times. he opens several new tabs, and gets a notepad to make a list of books, and eventually remembers to reply in the group chat

a week later, he bites the bullet and writes an email to georgie

nothing long, just, they still tell each other about big life events

and then, another couple weeks after that, when martin brings him tea, he says, “ah, martin, could i– do you have a moment?”

“of course,” martin says, and lets the door swing closed again, “what do you need?”

“i, ah. this isn’t very professional, so, you don’t– you are perfectly welcome to say no, of course, but i. um. would you– come clothes shopping with me?”

(ideally, jon would have asked georgie, but as much as he loves her (still), they haven’t talked properly in years, and she is cis. the best cis person he knows, but still a cis person. and he’d just, rather have a trans person, for emotional support, and no one in the group chat lives particularly nearby anymore) (or, well, some of them are, but when he asked they all told him to get over himself and ask one of his ‘lovely’ coworkers)

(why does he ask martin and not sasha?) (well, dear reader, he is nursing the beginnings of a crush) (not that he knows it. but that’s absolutely what’s happening here. martin is sweet and lovely and jon definitely finds him annoying and overbearing. yes. nothing else. no other emotions.) (his chest feels all weird when martin smiles because he doesn’t like him. that always happens around people he dislikes.)

“oh!” martin says, surprised. “uh, yes, of course, is– is there an event or something…?”

jon takes a moment to stare at the wall above martin’s head before he makes himself say, “i. am non-binary, and i need– different clothes.”

“oh, god, have we been–”

“no, no, this is a, a very recent development. he is still fine,” jon says, quickly, then pauses, then adds, more haltingly, “i think. i might, if – they, as well, maybe? just, to see”

“of course. d’you want me to tell tim and sasha?”

martin, jon thinks, is maybe not all that bad “yes, please”

“cool,” martin smiles, “i’m free this weekend? for shopping?”

“this saturday would be good, yes”

and then jon and martin go shopping! it’s probably not that successful of a shopping trip, because it takes jon like four shops before they admit what exactly it is they’re looking for, but they go to several charity shops and have fun trying to one-up each other with the most ridiculous/inexplicable item of clothing, and at the end of the day jon has three skirts (a knee-length black a-line skirt, a full-length black skirt, and a full-length black skirt patterned with red flowers), two necklaces, and a skater dress they probably can’t get away with wearing to work, but they really liked the way the skirt moved when they spun

other things that happen include lunch at a cafe where the staff definitely think they’re on a date and only martin notices and also martin is dying, both of them only managing to walk past a secondhand bookshop twice before they cave and go inside, and then emerge half an hour later both holding three books (two poetry anthologies and a sci fi novel; a psychology book and two history books), and martin somehow talking jon into trying on skinny jeans and then, again, leaving this mortal coil

jon doesn’t buy the skinny jeans, which is for the best really

the first time jon wears one of the skirts to work, sasha does a victory lap around the archives because “hell yes skirts are so much more comfortable, and now you swish! tim you should get a skirt. skirts for archives uniform”

and jon is still a prickly antisocial bastard but now he’s an outly nonbinary prickly antisocial bastard, and sometimes they walk into the archives at 2PM smelling of tobacco and holding a bottle of vodka, and then the archives staff all do shots and dramatic readings of the most ridiculous fake statements, because sometimes that’s how you cope with cis people, and that’s! valid!