#it’s like dude your only friend cannot be a tax accountant ex teacher in tx but also if i leave who’s gonna tell you you’re being a moron
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other people have got to have someone who they keep around as a bug under a microscope for being like “what in the hell is wrong with you”
#mine is a polyam straight man about my age who keeps gushing to me about how he thinks a woman 25 years his senior has a crush on him#all his ocs are variant self inserts and i just enjoy throwing wet paper at that wall to see what sticks#he’s deep in the disney funkopop star wars marvel kool aid and never got over epic culture#he’s telling this 45 year old woman he has a crush on her despite my going ‘i think that sounds like it’s not a good idea’#he is convinced it’s requited#he’s into kava and vapes and lives in the weird part of florida#i’ve been watching him destroy his life over and over again and telling him dude that’s a bad idea for like four years#at one point he confessed his love to me and i was like (holds it like a human holds a lizard their cat brought them) thanks?#i don’t know why i’m his friend. it’s like a train wreck i cannot look away from#he did a photoshoot outside a gas station with his disney park lightsaber#it’s like dude your only friend cannot be a tax accountant ex teacher in tx but also if i leave who’s gonna tell you you’re being a moron#i’ve been standing here chain smoking while he listens to nothing i say and yet desperately wants my approval as he does whatever he wants#and i’m like dude i’d give you a thumbs up if you weren’t telling a woman who could be your mom that you’re in love with her#and that you want her to be your third girlfriend#like make good choices. im taking notes#and i don’t mean this in a mean spirited way but im truly always like what in the hell is wrong with you#also he wants to be a writer which is how we met but he really only writes star wars saving private ryan shit#which is like. oh my god i want to study you. you’re unwell
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