#that my digestive system could take that level of damage and now here i am. scarred up but basically fine.

[lady-harrowhark]

doctor said there was no visible inflammation so if my biopsies come back normal i can go three years before my next scope.

she also said basically my entire colon is made of scar tissue at this point but like. we knew that already.

[lillytalons]

How Many Suns to Know Someone

Read on Ao3

“General, sir!”

“At ease Commander. What can I do for you?” Obi-wan looked at the clone in front of him. He had the visor and pauldron of a commander, but no other signifiers. Standard weapons, stood strictly at attention, with his hand up in a salute. He lowered his arm but kept the stance, not at ease at all. 

“Sir, I am assigned as your commander in the 7th Sky Corps.”

“Ah, excellent. I’m Obi-wan Kenobi. I assume you were just promoted?” Obi-wan tried to give a comforting smile, but the clone in front of him didn’t appear to react. He pushed the datapads on his desk away from him slightly to show his full attention to the commander.

“Yes, sir. I was senior commander of the 425th until CC-1104 died a few weeks into the war. I was promoted to commander of the 104th.”

“I’m glad to have you, we have a lot to organize and do. The war is picking up quickly.” The Commander didn’t say anything, just gave a short nod. “I’m sorry I didn’t catch your name, Commander…”

“CC-2224, sir.”

Obi-wan stopped a grimace from coming to his face, naming sentient men like units of droids was unfortunate at best, oppressive at worst. Obi-wan had heard some of the men use other names, but it was always at the edge of his hearing. In front of him the men always used their number designations or rank. 

“Alright, CC-2224. Have you settled in yet?”

“No, sir.”

“Well, I can have someone show you to your quarters if you would like. Dinner will be in the mess soon.”

“I can find my way, General.”

Obi-wan nodded. “We leave at 0800 tomorrow. Briefing on the bridge at 0830.”

“Yes, sir.” The commander snapped off another salute and let himself out. Obi-wan sighed as he dove back into paper work, untangling the mess of the 7th Sky Corps was going to take an effort.

“Ah, Commander. Are we ready to depart?” Obi-wan glanced at the chrono on the wall and noted it was still 10 to 8. 

“Yes, General.” Commander CC-2224 saluted and the stood stiffly near the holotable that Obi-wan had loaded with the overview of the galaxy deployment. It was still messy and overlapping as the council worked to load up fleets and organize defenses. The 7th Sky Corps was mostly in place, other than his still unnamed flagship which was currently above Coruscant where it had been waiting for him, his commander, and final stocking for part of the fleet. 

“Good.” Obi-wan turned another clone on the bridge. “Depart when ready, Captain.”

Obi-wan studied the Commander across from him, but much like the day before, he had few identifying marks. His armor was mostly clean, meaning he either hadn’t been in the beginning skirmishes of the war or he was meticulous and lucky. Perhaps he had been stationed away from the ground fighting. He had the yellow stripes of a commander down his helmet and the sides of his arms. Obi-wan hadn’t seen his face yet, but as a clone there wouldn’t be much if anything to distinguish his face from others. 

“Unfortunately, Commander, the others aren’t as punctual as you, we’ll have to wait for them to start the briefing. You are free to leave and return in a half an hour if you wish. I’ll be here running logistics I’m afraid.”

Obi-wan could see the twitch of his commander, clearly holding back a comment or question. 

“Yes, Commander?”

“Where will the 7th Sky Corps be deployed, sir?”

“That is part of the problem. We don’t know. As of now, the 3rd System Army is going to cover a portion of the Mid Rim. The Jedi Council has asked my help in organizing basic deployment based on my, shall we call it prior experience. Within that, we have to deploy corps successfully, though some will be deployed with specialized goals, others are more general. 

“Beyond that many of the armies and corps are in disarray with limited Jedi to assign and with my understanding there were many commanders lost in the battle of Geonosis. Another Master was given command of the Sky Corps temporarily, but was not as efficient as expected. It’s a mess, one that I could use your expertise in sorting through if you would be willing.”

“Of course, sir. That’s what we’re trained for.” CC-2224 walked closer to the map, studying it, and after a moment to let him analyze it, Obi-wan expanded the view of where the Sky Corp was going to be. 

“When the others arrive for the brief I have information of specific planets we need to cover immediately, but we need a preliminary plan to move forward.”

The commander studied the planets and the few ships clustered in an unorganized and inefficient couple of groups. “Sir…”

“Yes?” Obi-wan raised an eyebrow at the clone, he could feel his hesitancy in the force like a stutter. 

“What is the current plan from the Council? It doesn’t make sense for all of those ships to be so bunched together. They aren’t effective. Sir.” He tacked on the last bit, seeming to realize his blunder of criticizing commanding officers. 

“There isn’t one. Master Vexa was sent to start organizing, and he had a commander to assist, but unfortunately they were sent to a skirmish in the Mid-rim immediately, and the commander was killed, along with other high ranking officers. Master Vexa was recalled to another unit when I was able to take charge of the army and the Corps. They never had time to complete organization of the Corps, and all of the officers left were equal in rank as well as not being Jedi. There was no one to truly take charge.” Obi-wan sighed quietly but straightened his shoulders, damage had already been done, it was up to him to fix it. 

The commander shifted slightly and nodded after a very long moment to digest the information. “Yes, sir.”

“What about you Commander, you said you were with the 104th? Which Jedi were you with again?”

“I was with General Koon, sir.” Obi-wan hated trying to read the men through armor, there were very few ticks, CC-2224 hardly even twitched a finger. It was like talking to a droid. Except that most droids were idiots. He of course had the force, but the men were tightly controlled and quickly mastered their emotions. 

Obi-wan started shifting ships holographically to new locations, slowly expanding the coverage. “And why was there a transfer, problems with Master Koon?” He kept the question casual, but he was curious. Master Koon was a very easy going and talented Jedi. Problems with him could be indicative of his commander. Though of course he was too easy going for some people. They saw his soft nature and assumed it meant lesser skills.

“No, sir.” The clone’s voice sounded even tighter than usual. “His chosen personal battalion specializes in flight missions. CC-3636 is better than me at leading and flying in those kinds of missions, but he was finishing specialized command training until last week. I was informed of my transfer to your command yesterday.”

“Thoughts on the deployment, Commander?” Obi-wan gestured to the holomap where he had been manipulating ships. 

“The 4th quadrant is along hyperspace lanes leading to the Outer Rim, it would benefit from a heavier presence, sir.”

Obi-wan moved the ships without comment, studying the map again before asking CC-2224 another question. They continued working until the briefing where Obi-wan presented their rough plan to the other officers. The commander disappeared quickly after dismissal, but Obi-wan thought he sensed a quiet relief or pleasure when his suggestions were taken without fuss. 

Obi-wan wandered into the mess hall, looking for somewhere to sit which was unusual for him. He often took his meals in his office, finishing work, especially focused on figuring out how to organize this war. Jedi were constantly being moved around as the council and other highly analytical Jedi assigned Jedi and clone officers, trying to match aptitudes, temperaments, and specialized needs. They were also trying to figure out how many Jedi they could afford to have at each level of the GAR. Many senior padawans were knighted in the first weeks of the war, like Anakin, but were still functioning under increased supervision as they started to lead men into battles. Obi-wan sighed as his thoughts circled these problems while grabbing his food. Jedi were not meant for war. 

He sat near a group of clones, close enough to be able to talk to them, but far enough away to allow them their own space if they had no interest in engaging. A few clones in the mess had rank colors, but it was mostly a disconcerting sea of white. 

CC-2224 sat down next to him, a slight buffer between him and the other men. Or perhaps a bridge. 

“Commander. How are preparations?” They had been in hyperspace for 2 days and were going to be coming planet-side in a few hours, the men were getting antsy to do something more than chores around the ship. 

“Almost done, General. We’ll be ready by arrival.”

“Good, thank you.”

One of the clones closest to them seemed to be full of nervous energy, tightly wound. When CC-2224 and Obi-wan said nothing else he finally cleared his throat. “Umm, General? Sir?”

“Yes, trooper…?”

“Stitch, sir.” His face got very red and he hurried to correct himself. “I mean CT-1655, sir.”

Obi-wan smiled at him, the smile that calmed down anxious padawans and bristling senators alike. “Do you prefer to go by Stitch?” The trooper nodded and the slightly tense atmosphere seemed to freeze as clones within several tables of them got very quiet. “Very well. What can I do for you, Stitch?” There was no noticeable noise but the room felt like it had let out a collective exhale and the noise level rose again, though not as loud as it had been before. Obi-wan was certain that many of the clones were listening intently despite appearances. 

The trooper smiled slightly. “We were, well, I was wondering where you were assigned before us, sir?”

“This is my first true command, actually. After the Battle of Geonosis I was injured, as was my padawan. We were given leave to heal as well as dealing with Anakin’s knighting.”

“Knighting means he’s a full Jedi now, right, sir? So he’s a general too?”

“Yes,” Obi-wan explained fondly. “He has just been assigned to the 501st I believe. He is assigned to the Sky Corps, so we will likely work with him at some point.”

“Thank you, sir.” The trooper became shyer again and tucked back into his food. His bravery had influenced some other troopers around them however. Obi-wan could feel their focus through the force, though he kept his gaze mostly on his food so they wouldn’t be scared off. Another clone spoke up, not speaking directly to him, but not excluding him from the conversation either. 

“Hey Commander, that’s the legion Rex is in right? The 501st?”

CC-2224 nodded. “Last I heard it was.”

“Is Rex another commander?” Obi-wan asked curiously. 

The Commander shook his head. “He’s a captain, sir.”

Obi-wan gave a self deprecating chuckle. “I have many names to learn if I’m going to keep up with you troopers. Do you know all of the officers in the Sky Corps?”

CC-2224 gave a wry smile. “No, sir. Captain Rex was in many of my command classes. He’s an excellent tactician and strategist, a good captain.”

“Perhaps he will be good for Anakin then.” At the slightly wary look in CC-2224’s eyes Obi-wan expounded. “Anakin is a peerless fighter and excellent tactician. However, he can be, well, brash at times. Overall strategy isn’t his forte, so I’m sure the clones in his command will help to balance him out.” Obi-wan could still see some hesitancy even though the clones around him nodded and accepted his explanation. He suddenly remembered that their first commander had died in a foolishly fought battle led by a Jedi that the council quickly decided would be better under more supervision. A battle that had taken dozens of troopers needlessly as well. 

“Anakin may be brash, but he cares deeply for those around him. He will listen to his captains and commander I am sure. He knows his failings, as all Jedi should.” Most of the tension faded at this pronouncement and lunch was finished with quiet conversations around them, though no one directly engaged Obi-wan again. 

As they left to finish preparations, Obi-wan found himself walking with CC-2224 towards the bridge. Obi-wan thought to the several names he had learned at lunch, Stitch was the only one to directly introduce himself, but after that Obi-wan had heard several other names being used around him. He hadn’t quite assigned the names to specific troopers but he knew that would come with time. “Commander, may I ask you a question?”

“Of course, sir.” He was as stoic as ever, though wearing his helmet undoubtably helped with that.

“Is there another name you prefer to go by, or simply CC-2224?”

There was a pause, and Obi-wan wasn’t sure what pros and cons his commander was weighing, but he stayed silent. “Cody, sir.” He finally said in a release of air. “I go by Commander Cody.”

Obi-wan smiled in triumph. “Commander Cody fits you very well.” They stepped onto the bridge and someone shouted “General on the bridge!” 

“Ready to get to work, Commander?” The chrono on the wall said 2 hours until arrival and Obi-wan felt anticipation go through him as Cody smiled tight lipped. He didn’t want this war, but neither was he willing for it to go on without him. His troops needed him to make sure that as many as possible survived by the end of the day. And now they could start being useful.

“Of course, General.” And so they got to work. 

——

Cody grunted as he took a punch to the stomach, but he waited for an opening. When Crys swung at his head, he ducked under it and used the momentum from Crys to further imbalance him, ending with Crys on the mat, Cody pinning him. There was other noises from other clones as they continued training, shooting or sparring. But above that there was a single person clapping. 

Cody and Crys looked over to the doorway where General Kenobi was standing. “Great job, Commander.” He stepped closer to them, and Cody saw he was dressed the most casual he had ever seen. Most of his robes were gone, he was just wearing base underclothes. Cody got off Crys and gave him a hand up. 

“Thank you, sir” 

“And good job to you as well…”

“Crys, General.” The General nodded and smiled. “If I could offer a suggestion, Crys?”

“Of course, General.” Crys straightened and locked his eyes on the General.

Obi wan stepped onto the mat and gestured to Crys to come closer. “Your punches are solid but you telegraph your moves, allowing Commander Cody to anticipate them. There wasn’t much you could have done once the punch was swung, but if you shift your stance like this,” he demonstrated it “you’ll be more difficult to imbalance.”

“Thank you, sir.”

 “Ready to practice?”

“Sir?”

Kenobi ticked an eyebrow up and grinned. “Well, the best way to learn is to do.” He clearly saw Crys hesitance and added, “You won’t break me, trooper.”

“Yes, sir.” Crys got into the ready stance, and Kenobi swung his fist at him at half speed. Crys blocked him and when he tried the same move Cody had done Obi-wan was able to shift away before he was thrown on the mat.

“Good. Switch.” Crys threw a punch and Obi-wan blocked it like Cody had. Crys wasn’t able to avoid the throw completely, but he was able to roll out of the fall before the General could pin him. The General immediately disengaged. “Good, more practice and you’ll be an expert.”

Crys nodded. “Thank you, sir.”

Obi-wan nodded at both of them and moved to a corner of the room. He pulled out his lightsaber and started doing slow sequences with it, avoiding the other clones training. They all looked at him, but quickly went back to their own tasks. 

“You ready to go again?” Cody asked Crys. Crys nodded but then a look of confusion crossed his face. 

“How did he know who you were?”

Cody was about to respond, but realized he didn’t have an answer. Crys and he looked exactly the same, in fact most of the clones did. Some had started doing different hairstyles within regulations, or even drawing on themselves every couple of days. Normally his armor or even the fact that he always stayed by the general identified him. But all of them were in blacks at the moment. “You know, I don’t know.”

Crys shrugged in that pragmatic way that clones have and fell into another starting position. 

——

Pain. Pain surged through his face, his head, his eye. It felt like a knife cutting again and again, the pain fading for a part of a moment before coming back worse than before. He would not have opposed just passing out to have the pain end, but he was doubtful that would happen. 

Voices faded in and out, yelling incoherence as his battalion continued to push back the droids. He thought he heard someone yell medic, but wasn’t sure until minutes later when fingers felt along his neck. 

The medic started requesting help and Cody was about to help him by trying to sit up. As soon as he moved the pain intensified and Cody wasn’t aware of anything else. 

He woke with the smell of chemical and blood filling his nose. He blinked his eyes open and though the bright light blinded him for a moment in one eye he recognized the medbay on their flagship. 

Several clones had suggested the name The Negotiator and Cody had approved the name a few days before. When they got general approval from the GAR their fleet would be completely organized and operational from the clones perspective as well as the natborns. His men refused to consider the corps complete without proper names on everything deserving of names. 

If that meant that the best working caff maker was jokingly called Jimmy, that was neither here nor there. 

He realized his mind was wandering and pulled it to the present, just to realize that he couldn’t see out of one eye. His other eye was covered in bandages and he could feel the swollen and warm skin on that side of his face. 

A face came into his field of vision, the medic, and he smiled slightly at seeing Cody awake. 

“Ah, commander! Glad you’re with us. How do you feel?”

“Like a bantha stepped on me. Or like I got blown up.”

“Well you would be right. You were caught in the edge of an explosion and shrapnel hit your helmet hard enough to leave a mark.”

“How bad is it?”

“Well it missed your eye we think, so you should have full range of vision once the bandages come off. Unfortunately we found you late, and it took a while to get you back to medical, the droids were persistent. I’ll need to monitor you closely for infection. We got bacta on it, but it will probably scar.”

“That’s fine.” Cody tried to swallow past the uncomfortable dryness in his throat and the medic handed him a glass of water before moving on to help another trooper. 

They pulled the bandages off the next day and Cody was relieved that his vision was fine after it adjusted to the light. The medics tried to get him to stay another day, concerned about other repercussions from the explosion but he overrode them both with his rank and the fact that he could rest better in his quarters. He only felt like a small bantha ran him over now, rather than the whole herd. 

The general found him a few hours later, delivering more datapads. He passed them over while waving Cody to stay sitting. He leaned on the desk casually, like the first time in his commanders room was something completely ordinary. Jedi had odd rules regarding interactions with others, but maybe that was down to less rank and structure in their normal lives.

“Cody, I’m glad to see you are alright. My apologies for delivering more work, but the war stops for none of us.” 

Cody hummed and accepted the pads with a shrug. “I understand, sir.”

“I have been in explosions before, they aren’t pleasant.”

“No. But I’m well enough, sir.”

“You’ll tell someone if you feel dizzy, a headache, any lingering side effects?”

Cody looked at him with a raised eyebrow. The way it tugged at his skin was odd but no longer painful. “I’m fine, general.”

“Of course,” General Kenobi smiled at him innocently. “How does the scar feel, do you need more bacta?”

“It doesn’t hurt,” which was true thankfully. He still wasn’t sure if Jedi could read minds, but the Jedi always seemed to know when someone was being untruthful. Whether that was the force or reading body language Cody didn’t know. “Might was well save the bacta, and the medic said more bacta probably wouldn’t help much anyway.”

“I see. Hopefully we all come out of this war with minimal scars, realistic or not.”

“Scars distinguish us. I don’t mind.”

“I hadn’t thought of it that way,” the General tilted his head in acknowledgement and stood, “I should let you get back to it. Let me know if you need anything, Commander.”

The Jedi turned back and Cody looked at him questioningly. “My apologizes for calling you Cody, Commander. I had no intention of being disrespectful.”

 Cody was shocked at the apology, especially since he had given the general permission to use his name weeks ago. He hadn’t even realized that he hadn’t until he had apologized. “You can call me Cody, sir.”

“You may call me Obi-wan you know.”

Cody shook his head. “It wouldn’t be proper, general. And it would set a poor example for the men.”

Obi-wan smiled slightly at him but it seemed a little sad. “Very well. Rest up, commander.”

Later as Cody scanned the new datapads he realized that they were all low priority and could have been handed over by anyone. The explanation that made the most sense was general had come to check on him, using the pads as an excuse. But that was weird to think about so Cody pushed it aside. 

——

“Eh, I’ll paint my armor one day, Commander, just you watch. You’re gonna turn around one day and I’ll have that commander yellow.”

“Dream on shiny. You’ve got a ways to go before you make commander.” Cody noticed the pensive look on the general’s face, but couldn’t figure out exactly what he had to think about. Maybe it was an unrelated look, figuring out battle tactics. Or maybe he was considering if the trooper would be able to be a commander. Cody doubted he would be promoted that far, possibly a captain but from what Cody remembered he wasn’t much of a strategist. Maybe that’s what the general was considering. 

Two days later General Kenobi commed Cody to come to the bridge.  “Cody, I would like your input on something,” He said as soon as Cody got to him.

“Sir?” The general started walking away from the others to give them some privacy.

“How effective do you think the paint for officers is in the field?”

Cody weighed whether to keep his opinions to himself, being critical of the Kaminoans never went well. But he wasn’t directly under their thumbs any more. “It’s effective for men to know the rallying point sir, if the officer is leading the troops from the front.”

“But?” Cody didn’t know if Obi-wan could tell he had dislikes from his tone or whatever force magic he had, but it was going to get annoying very quickly. 

“It makes us a target sir. The droids are stupid, but not that stupid. And it hurts morale if the troopers can’t see the paint, whether or not the officer is down.”

“That has been my observation as well. Some identification can be useful, but everyone being in white is rather plain don’t you think?”

“Sir?”

“The Council and I are discussing assigning paint colors to units rather than as ranks. I volunteered us to be one of the units testing it.” Obi-wan paused, clearly waiting for him to say something. 

Cody had no idea what to say. Did the General want his opinion on colors? His blessing? Why in the world would Obi-wan Kenobi need his approval? “Very good, sir.”

“I’ve had some idea for colors, do you have any opinion, Commander Cody?”

“No, sir.”

“None at all commander? Surely you have some opinion.”

Cody sighed internally. If his opinion was opposite Obi-wan’s it wouldn’t end well. “I’m not partial to red, sir.” After living with red clothes his entire life, he disliked the color almost as much as pure white. 

“I was thinking a color similar to your command color. But I wasn’t sure if you were already tired of it. It will likely be permanent for the rest of the war.”

“I would like that, sir.”

“Excellent, I will order the paint and we can pick it up on our next supply.”

“Will other units be painting, General?”

“Yes, some of the other units working directly under the High Council. I think the troopers assigned to Coruscant as well.”

Cody idly wondered what colors the others would pick but pushed it away, he would see soon enough. 

When they finally got the paint two weeks later the General handed him a small bucket with a smile. “I’m excited to see what you design, commander.”

It took Cody longer than he wanted to pick his design, but when he did he felt like his armor was finally his. He had no real interest in tattoos or unique hairstyles like the men were starting to do, free from the restricting sameness of Kamino. But his amor could never be any one else’s now. 

When he walked onto the bridge the next morning, every trooper did a double take. He could see many of them trying to stare discretely. He kept his head high and his gait even like nothing was different or unique in any way. Let the men draw their own conclusions. They knew that they had received paint for the ships, but Cody hadn’t told them to paint their armor yet, and he was almost positive that General Kenobi hadn’t said anything either.

General Kenobi strolled onto the bridge and smiled broadly at Cody. “I like the design, Commander. It suits you.”

Cody nodded at him. “Thank you, general.”

They both got to work organizing troop movements, but Cody felt more eyes than usual following him around for days. 

He was told to start spreading the paint, though they had a limited supply, so Cody focus on the captains of the battalion, then the lieutenants, then to slowly spread down the ranks. The newest troops wouldn’t get paint for quite a while, but that was okay. The term shiny was already being used because of how pristine their armor was and the lack of command colors. Now it was becoming an even more fitting name. 

It was thrilling in a way to see some of the white fade as yellow/gold replaced it. The troopers started talking about what they would paint when they finally got the chance, and Cody even saw the hairstyles start to get more interesting. If they could be unique in their armor, it would make sense that no one would care about their haircuts. 

Cody made sure no one grew it longer than regulation of course, but Cody thought he saw the General smile at one of the unique razor patterns he saw in the mess hall so he left it mostly alone. 

Soon after all the lieutenants had their paint, Cody dragged him back from yet another canon blast, into the arms of a lieutenant, Wooley. Wooley shot a droid before it could shoot his General, and Obi-wan nodded at them while coughing the dust out of his lungs. “My thanks, Commander. Wooley.”

In another free moment they had, crouching under a barrier, Cody found himself speaking to fill the silence. “At least the paint helps to tell us apart, right General?”

General Kenobi gave him a bemused look. “Oh Commander, I don’t need paint to tell you all apart. It’s simply nice to see your individualities.” He poked his head up to check their surroundings and readied his lightsaber again. He gave that little smirk that always meant trouble and said, “Besides, all white can be a bit of an eyesore,” before jumping over the rubble and charging the droid line once again.

Cody didn’t know what to say, but since he had to make sure his General didn’t get blown up he didn’t have much time to worry about it. 

——

Cody sighed and signed yet another form. He found himself glancing up every few minutes to check on the general. The general had been unconscious for hours now. The bone mender had fixed his broken ribs, and the lung had been repaired before anything lethal had happened, but Cody was still keyed up from everything. 

Kenobi groaned and shifted slightly. Cody found himself almost dropping his datapad. He leaned forward and looked at the vital signs. He was no medic but between his upbringing and how many of his brothers ended up in the medbay, he could tell that the vitals were good. 

Cody looked around for the medic but he was dealing with another patient so Cody decided it was probably better to leave them alone until the General woke up all the way. 

The man who should still be asleep for another couple of hours started moving his mouth like he was trying to speak. Cody almost spoke before the general swallowed and tried again. “Evr’yone ‘right Cody?”

“Yes, sir. We lost a few men, but casualties were low. You’re the worst off, general.”

“…you?”

Cody felt a brow raise, the general was basically incoherent but why would he care so much that it was the second thing he asked on waking up? Not about the council, or progress of the campaign, or even how hurt he was. He asked about the men first and Cody second. 

“I’m just fine general. You should rest.”

The ginger man nodded and his breathing evened out again immediately. Cody would be surprised if he remembered any of this when he woke up.

——

“Sir? May I ask a question?”

“Of course, Cody.”

Cody was tense again, like he hadn’t been in weeks. They had fallen into a rhythm with doing paperwork and organizing the army. But in the force he felt more like he did in the first weeks of their partnership than the familiarity they had fallen into. Cody met his eyes and slid his paperwork away from himself.

“How do you always know it’s me, sir?”

“I’m not sure I understand.”

“All us clones look the same. You can sometimes tell us apart by armor, I always had command paint or 212th paint. But you recognize me when you shouldn’t. Even before I got the scar. You knew who I was when you were half conscious and not looking at me. I’ve noticed you generally can differentiate the men too. The Kaminoans couldn’t tell us apart, and no other natborns can unless we have obvious marks.”

Obi-wan felt a rush of understanding and sorrow. These men hadn’t had anyone outside their own brothers truly know them. The galaxy saw them as interchangeable and empty. That was the furthest thing from the truth but who would chose to see reality? “Oh, it’s quite simple Cody. The force.” 

“The force, sir?”

“Yes, I can tell all of you apart because of your presence in the force.” Obi-wan hesitated, did Cody want the lecture on how it worked? Anakin generally tuned him out or only caught the ends of his explanations, unless it was something that he felt he needed to know. “May I ask how much you know of the force, commander?”

Cody shifted slightly in his chair, but his voice was steady like he was giving a report. “It can be used to move objects and people, including assisting in large jumps. You can occasionally sense danger, and your reaction times are faster than normal parameters,” Cody paused but added as a quiet afterthought, “There are rumors you can read minds and control them.” 

So Cody knew what he could observe, and little else. “Very good. Your observations were correct, though reading minds is generally an exaggeration and outright controlling someone is impossible.” Cody nodded and Obi-wan knew he was storing the information away like he did enemy movements and battle maneuvers. 

Obi-wan leaned back from the desk and crossed his legs. He collected his thoughts, explaining the force to someone who didn’t know anything about it or how it felt it was more difficult than even teaching initiates. They breathed the force, so while they needed guidance they could grasp the theory quickly. “Well, the force is the energy of universe. It binds everything together, and is contained in every living thing. Some living things can manipulate that energy, like the Jedi or the Sith. We can augment our physical selves as you have seen. It allows us to do the things you have seen like moving objects or cushioning our fall, but it is much more than that. 

“Force sensitive beings can feel the currents around them, for lack of a better analogy. Some Jedi get premonitions, shapes of the future, events that are about to happen. Often we can receive warnings if we are attuned and paying attention. We can use the force to sense around us, like another sense. It is possible to sense objects, but it is much easier to sense living beings because of the way the force moves through them. 

“I can sense each of the life forms on this ship and they are all distinct from each other. Does that make sense?”

Cody nodded slowly. “How do we feel different? We’re all the same genetically.”

Obi-wan hummed in thought. “Force signatures don’t rely on genetic code. It’s a combination of personality, experience, and the unique thing that makes each person. It’s extremely hard to describe, but it’s somewhat like the difference between voices. Well voices for non-clones I suppose. Perhaps like a visible fingerprint. Everyone understands it slightly differently, but more force users can tell the difference between beings through the force.”

“So once you meet someone you always know them?”

“It’s a bit like learning someone’s voice, you may think they are familiar after you meet them, but it takes true familiarity to recognize them. Some Jedi are better at it than others. And of course, it is often simpler and faster to notice those around us with the mundane methods.”

“Is there a way to trick a Jedi?”

“It is possible for some masters, but it requires use of the force.” Cody looked pensive but nodded again. 

“Thank you for explaining, general.”

“Of course, Cody. I don’t mind explaining things, feel free to ask questions.”

They went back to their paperwork, but Obi-wan could tell Cody had another question. After a few minutes, Cody cleared his throat, “Sir?”

“Yes?”

“What do I, uh, look like in the force?”

Obi-wan smiled. “As difficult as it is to explain, you shine in the force, Commander. You are steady and decisive, confident and determined. You are light.”

Blush spread up Cody’s neck and on to his cheeks, visible even through the dark skin. “Thank you.”

He didn’t say anything else but Obi-wan could feel his quiet pleasure. Slowly and surely they were getting to know each other. Obi-wan felt the web of light slowly growing week by week that connected him to his men, and basked in it. Even in darkness there is light. 

[lailyn]

Argh, I know, I shouldn't be greedy, but I just love a good whump fic and I love Strangefrost and I love your writing... so, might I humbly ask for another?? Maybe?? For the - I don't know - the digestive system maybe?

Here ya go! This one's a bit longer, it kinda got away from me. 😅

A Fool For You

It began with a relic gone missing. A sword forged in blood and tears, the sword was said to have been used to lop off the head of a tyrannical emperor after he had used it to slaughter his own brothers, all six of them. 

It was a dangerous katana that required a calming ritual at every turn of the century to temper its blade, for it could turn the susceptible, the most innocent into murderous monsters. 

Stephen had been lucky to escape unharmed that morning when he awoke to the blade pressed against his throat, wielded by an invisible hand, controlled by long-range magic.

Stephen had been lucky Loki was there to banish the spectral intruder and restore the katana to its resting place in the Sanctum vault under lock and key. 

Reading the blade that had almost taken his human from him only led them back to Kamar-Taj, but the trail ended there. 

There was a traitor in their midst. 

"Nothing's going to happen to me." 

Or so Stephen kept insisting. 

Loki was no fool. It would take more than vapid assurances to assuage this urge in him to tear whoever dared harm a hair on Stephen's head limb from limb.

Wong thought it could be a Zealot who might have escaped from having to join Kaecilius on his eternal journey to be one with the Dark Lord Dormammu. 

Stephen made a sound argument of the low probability, seeing how the Dark Dimension was as good as sealed forever with the Book of Cagliostro gone, but Loki had disguised himself as one of them that very night and searched each and every Master, fellow and apprentice for the telltale mark on the forehead. 

If someone cared for his opinion, Loki thought Stephen was being too complacent with his life.

"Loki, I am not going to lock myself up in the Mirror Dimension!" 

Stephen had the gall to laugh at Loki's suggestion. For that, Loki did not speak to him for an entire day. 

As the night grew closer, Stephen had given up trying to apologise for something he did not believe he did wrong and resigned himself to the idea of attending the communal dinner at Kamar-Taj without his plus one. Sorcerer Supremes had traditionally been lonesome creatures, and initially Stephen even thought of himself as such. 

Until he met Loki. 

Stephen abhorred gossip. If the Sorcerer Supreme and the (reformed) God of Mischief were indeed an item, he would rather come clean about it than suffer salacious stories being passed around behind his back. 

But since Loki was a no-show, Stephen was going to suffer them for one more day, until he could figure out what to do...or what not to do. When it came to Loki, abstaining was just as important. 

So that was how Stephen had come to sit at the head of the table, flanked by a representative from the other two Sanctums. Wong had drawn the short straw by virtue of his being Stephen's second-in-command and sadly had to stay behind in New York.

A young man barely out of his teens came to the high table with a set of tea. 

“A new apprentice. I recruited him from the streets of Kowloon City,” Master Murata murmured in the Sorcerer Supreme’s ear. “I think he’s got potential.”

Stephen looked at the scabies burrows in the webs between the boy’s fingers, the badly damaged nails from a chronic nail-biting problem superimposed with a fungal infection. 

Must have been homeless, he deduced. Family problems? A runaway?

Stephen watched as the boy poured a pinkish golden liquid into the three cups in front of them. It glittered with edible gold petals. 

“Sour plum tea,” Master Murata nodded in approval. He held up his cup, “Here’s to our Sorcerer Supreme. May you live in interesting times.”

If the wording sounded odd, it could only be due to the Guardian of the Hong Kong Sanctum’s oriental heritage. 

Stephen surreptitiously waited for both Guardians to finish drinking first before raising his own cup to his lips to take his first sip.

"Sorcerer Supreme, there you are!"

"Wong?" Stephen's forehead furrowed at the sight of his friend marching down the dais toward him. "What are you doing here?"

Wong grabbed the cup out of the Sorcerer Supreme's hand and drank it all in one gulp. 

"That hit the spot," he declared, delicately fingering the corners of his lips. 

"M-Master Wong," Master Murata stammered. 

"What's gotten into you?" Stephen muttered. He held out the empty cup for a refill, but Wong quickly grabbed his wrist. "Wong!"

The apprentice scurried away with the tray; Wong followed the retreating form with his eyes until the boy disappeared amongst the dinner crowd. 

With a wide smile Stephen had never seen the likes of it on Wong’s face before, his best friend boldly grabbed him around the wrist and yanked him out of his seat. "This is simply no time to be drinking! Come, I have much to tell you!"

"It's just tea," Stephen grumbled, more curious than embarrassed at being manhandled in public.  

Just as they passed a few Masters in the hall, Wong stumbled and would have fallen had Stephen not caught his friend. 

“Really, Wong, one would think you had been imbibing…” Stephen's voice trailed off at the sight of perspiration dotting his friend's forehead. “Wong?”

“Take me to your room,” Wong grunted, and Stephen froze, for Wong’s voice suddenly sounded so much like -

“Loki?”

In the blink on an eye, Stephen teleported them to his room and Wong slowly sank to his knees with a soft, forlorn sigh; his form shimmered as all manner of glamour dropped, revealing Loki's shaking form. 

At the tell-tale shudder, Stephen quickly grabbed a trash can from under his desk and shoved it under Loki's head just in time to catch the first of his stomach contents. 

"Poison?"

Loki nodded frantically as another wave of extreme nausea surged up his gullet.

"But how? We were all drinking the same thing!" Stephen demanded.  

“It wasn't the tea,” Loki gasped. “It was the cup.” 

"If you knew it was poisoned, why couldn't you have just told me? Why did you have to drink it?" Stephen berated.

"Now you have evidence," Loki managed in between gasps. "Somebody was trying to kill you."

Loki lashed out a hand which his lover caught unthinkingly; into Stephen's palm Loki pressed the ceramic cup he had drunk from. 

"It's the lacquer," he wheezed; the pain raging in his stomach was making it difficult to breathe. "It...reacted with the gold leaf. Turned the tea."

Stephen stared at the object in his hand. True enough, the urushiol lacquer had corroded away, leaving behind a suspicious white deposit that had formed a sediment at the bottom of the cup. 

Loki had done it all on purpose...impersonating Wong, stealing Stephen's drink right under his nose and making sure everyone saw him drink out of the Sorcerer Supreme's cup -

And stumbling in the hallway with witnesses around had been in part an act, the rest of it very, very real...as real as the blood dribbling down Loki’s chin as his body tried to purge the poison. He heaved and heaved uncontrollably into the trash can, his long hair limp and matted to his scalp like a crown of thorns.

But before Stephen could hold his hair back for him, another violent cramp folded Loki in half, his desperate cry of the kind Stephen had never heard out of the God of Mischief before.

"Oh, Loki…" Stephen could not help but moan. "Why must you always do this?"

Loki shuddered and wiped the blood away with the back of his hand. He slowly sank to the floor, prostrating on the tatami mat, arms wrapped tightly around his stomach. 

"I'll live," he sighed. "You wouldn't have."

Stephen leveled his writhing lover with a frosty look. "What made you think I could live with this on my conscience?"

Loki's eyes fluttered to a close. "As long as you lived, I don't particularly care."

Stephen heaved a sigh of frustration and sickening anxiety. "What can I do?"

"Hang the perpetrators by their entrails, that would be a start," Loki groaned. He curled up as tightly as his cramping muscles would allow. "Norns!" 

Stephen rummaged through his apothecary cabinet and waved potion after potion of possible remedial value, only for every jar to be waved away. 

"I've purged it all." Loki bared teeth slick with blood in a grotesque grimace as he tried to breathe through the worst of the cramps. "It's just the sequelae now."

Tears sprang to Stephen's eyes as he dropped onto his knees next to his ill lover. "You are such a fool."

Loki chuckled weakly. "Ah yes, that I am. A fool for you."

A furious tear escaped and made its way down Stephen's cheek. He gathered Loki's long limbs in his arms and lifted the trembling figure gently into his lap, holding him upright. "I'm such a fool."

"Stephen, don't." Utterly exhausted, Loki could do no more than squeeze the protective arm around his neck. "I'm alright. Truly."

"I will find whoever did this," he heard Stephen vow in his ear and the tension drained out of Loki's body like water.

"Good," Loki hummed faintly. 

If putting himself in jeopardy was what it took to get Stephen to give a damn about his own life...then Loki had no objection whatsoever. Nor had he any objection to the comfortable weight of Stephen's hand on his aching belly, or to the healing magic furious at work, aiding the repair of any internal damage caused by the poison. 

"I am going to sleep now," Loki murmured, sagging in Stephen's embrace like a sack of bones. 

As Loki drifted off into a restorative slumber, he could hear Stephen mumble something in his ear. It sounded a lot like 'I love you', but Loki could not be sure.

Stephen was just going to have to say it again when next he awakened.

[mydisasteracademia]

Quirk Oddities: LOV

A/N: Warning, reeeeeeeeeally long post under the cut lol yeet

Gotou Imasuji/Muscular:

You have NO IDEA how happy I am that we F I N A L L Y know this man’s name,, anyway

Due to his Quirk having to do with his muscles (and obviously, augmentation of said muscles), he’s constantly in danger of muscular dystrophy if he doesn’t exercise them enough, even when not tapping into that muscular form.

Also feeds into his ‘blood knight’ behavior -- his eternal battle to fight stronger and stronger people and his own fight code matches with his Quirk, which gives him a stronger and stronger physique. He’s literally always itching for a fight.

Needs to eat a lot more than your average person, more on par with someone like Fatgum. Eats a ton of proteins and has a relatively healthy diet compared to a lot of other people. He’s very strict about what he eats so that he can get the maximum amount of energy for his muscled-up form.

Mustard:

His Quirk makes him more quiet and chill than most of the League; due to its somnolent properties (and due to the fact that he likely accidentally exposed himself to it far too often when he was younger), he reserves his energy for when he truly needs it.

As a negative side-effect, however, he suffers from chronic insomnia, which is mostly to blame for his irritability and (relatively) fragile mental state (not ‘fragile’ as in ‘literally an inch away from snapping’, but moreso ‘this close to mania at all times’.)

Drinks a lot of tea to try and calm himself down in the evenings. Lavender and chamomile are his teas of choice. On the flip side, tends to drink energizing drinks during the day so that he has enough energy to function.

Really prone to emotional lows. If he’s not careful, he can fall into depression and can get anxious very easily.

Moonfish:

Eats a ton of meats. Just... raw meats. All the time. He’s incredibly unhealthy. The bloodier the meat, the better. Will not eat anything cooked more than medium.

Will try to bite your arm off if you try to take food away from him. Actually, probably just tries to bite your arm off regardless. Don’t feed him unless you have a Quirk to subdue him in like 0.58 seconds.

Has to keep his teeth in pristine condition so that they don’t... accidentally break off when he’s trying to attack someone. Spends an obsessive amount of time brushing every morning and night. It’s one of the only times you will ever see this man even close to sanity, ironically.

Kenji Hikiishi/Magne:

Used to have to be cautious with using her Quirk when she was younger. Due to her inability to wield it correctly, she ended up magnetizing everything within a 2.5 meter radius. Eventually, she learnt to control it, but this caused some upsets when she was in school and people learned to avoid her if they didn’t want to get thrown like a ragdoll.

Very attracted to people. Not in a sexual way, but she loves socializing and can often wander near groups of people without realizing at first.

This isn’t an oddity with her body, per se, but she used to constantly be careful about magnets getting stuck to her giant magnet. It’s a pain to pluck them all off, so she eventually just started wrapping it, which negated some of its effects on anything close by.

It’s honestly good that her Quirk doesn’t work on herself, for many obvious reasons. When she was a young child in the first years after it manifested, she always questioned it. Now she’s incredibly glad it doesn’t, considering how much havoc she could wreck on other people. Instead she’s more in-tune with it, in a sense. She can tell apart red and blue ‘magnets’ very easily due to that.

Kurogiri:

Y’all don’t know how tempted I was to put Oboro’s name in there lmao

Constantly has a dark aura around himself that looks like a thin fog. I know, that’s canon, but unlike his actual fog created around his neck, this stays around his actual body shape so that even if the collar is gone and he can’t form more fog, the aura would be there enough to obscure some of his more defining features.

Due to him being a literal reanimated corpse, the reason his eyes are glowing and yellow is due to being reanimated. That, and yellow looks cool as hell with black and purple, amirite?

Prefers totally dark rooms. If he’s by himself just chilling after a long, hard day of being a babysitter to about 6-9 societal outcasts, he’s sitting or lying down, eyes closed, with all of the lights off, just basking in it.

Adding to that last point, enjoys misty, foggy days. He doesn’t so much enjoy rain as much as he does the general vibe of a fog-dense area. Really feels at home in it.

His sense of pain is highly muted, and his body is incredibly cold to the touch. I mean, he’s literally a reanimated corpse. It takes a lot of force for him to actually feel anything, and this goes for non-pain sensations too. Often loses feeling in his hands and feet and they feel like wisps of mist.

??? Shigaraki/All For One

Due to his Quirk’s innate nature of taking and giving, he’s a huge kleptomaniac. He just can’t resist swiping things (and maybe giving them back later).

He’s drawn to studying Quirks. Like a certain someone else we know, he’s obsessed with hashing out the more intimate details of a person’s power, and then he can truly decide whether or not he’s taking it.

His body is more naturally suited for taking on more than one Quirk at a time, but without his life-support system he would be royally fucked. Many of his Quirks require a lot of energy and his body is just too weak in its current state with all of his injuries to sustain them all. I know, he’s still incredibly powerful, but he’s considered ‘weak’ right now. Imagine him at his peak. How many Quirks did he have? 50? 100? More?

Adding onto his kleptomania, this applies to people too. He’s incredibly possessive of people he deems worthy of his time (his brother and Tomura being two notable examples) and will do whatever it takes to keep them at his side in the name of ‘keeping them safe’. If he had a family somewhere and he found out about them, you bet your ass he would go full yandere on them, but isn’t hesitant to lay the emotional/mental manipulation on thick.

Tomura Shigaraki:

As I’ve stated a few times before, due to his Quirk, Tomura’s body is constantly destroying itself, from within and outside. His skin is the outward reflection of it; after being found by AFO he was weak and easily sick due to his immune system not fully ready to handle the destructive properties of Decay.

Sometimes he’ll choke on debris from his own mouth and throat, as I’ve stated before. Very prone to ulcers and muscular dystrophy, so he has to be careful to exercise just enough that he staves off his body totally shutting down.

Has to be incredibly careful with his diet, because the wrong foods could damage his body more than before. CAN NOT HAVE SPICY/HOT FOODS. His taste buds have already been damaged enough due to forays into it before, and he can’t afford to sustain even more damage to his throat.

Has to drink a ton of water, not just to flush down debris in his throat but because he’s very prone to having a dry mouth. Part of the reason his voice (well, English Dub voice anyway) is so raspy is because his throat is constantly dry. If he doesn’t have enough water, he’s prone to bad coughing fits.

His nails are actually quite brittle, and when he scratches his neck he has to be careful not to break them. His lips get chapped easily and will split and bleed unless he lays on some ointment.

AND SPEAKING OF OINTMENT! I know the jokes about him needing moisturizer/Chapstick are hilarious, but Tomura has extremely sensitive skin and can not put on anything that has perfumes of any kind in them, otherwise it triggers a severe reaction and it takes him a while to heal. There’s a specific brand of ointment that he and Dabi use, and like the flame user he has to be constantly reapplying it during the day, otherwise his skin dries out even more.

He’s drawn to death/destruction, much like Toga is fascinated by blood and death (and birds). Much of the time, he causes said death/destruction. It’s so morbidly fascinating to him and it fills him with a weird sense of pride or calm.

Prefers humid conditions. If it’s more arid, he suffers. Can’t go out in the sun too much, because he burns very easily (more than Dabi, surprisingly). He likes lukewarm, cloudy weather, and especially autumn (can you guess why?).

Can’t do alcohol. Not just that he legally can’t drink (I doubt he’d give a damn about that), but consuming too much would further damage his body and he can’t afford to do anything too reckless.

Himiko Toga:

Her Quirk makes it so that she’s prone to anemia much easier than a normal person. She needs to keep her iron levels up, especially as a teenage girl, so she usually goes for more iron-rich foods (and especially meats). Give her a blood bag and she’ll drink it like a Capri-Sun.

Normally, a person can’t ingest much blood through their digestive system, otherwise they get sick. Himiko doesn’t have much of a problem, thankfully, but she still has to be careful not to drink too much otherwise she does feel nauseated (kind of like eating too much food will leave you full and vaguely sick).

Like Tomura, she’s fascinated with death, but to a more obsessive degree (given that we’ve seen her literally eat a dead bird before). Unlike him, she actively seeks it out, and most often creates death herself.

Jin Bubaigawara/Twice:

Oh boy, what else is there to say that hasn’t already been revealed in canon? I’ll try my best to go with headcanon here, but Twice is a complicated person to speculate about given that we’ve seen most of everything there is to know.

His body constantly feels like it’s about to split apart. It’s not much of a painful feeling as it is an odd sensation. He’s constantly aware of it and it does a toll on his overall mental state Every time he does create clones, the feeling briefly intensifies, and he finds it very hard not to keep splitting.

Needs the suit to feel like he’s ‘contained’ himself, if that makes sense. Like, he’s less likely to physically split in half if he’s wearing it. That, and of course, needs the suit to keep his crumbling mental state in check.

Atsuhiro Sako/Mr. Compress:

Much like AFO, he’s a compulsive kleptomaniac, especially for expensive/shinier things. He just can’t help but swipe things up, but if the other members ask for it back, he’s generally good about handing it over.

Sometimes is filled with a lot of nervous energy that manifests itself in fidgeting with his marbles. In those periods of time, he feels even stronger compulsions to steal and they mostly go away when he does.

Shuichi Iguchi/Spinner:

There’s so much to put here. Mainly gecko-related things.

As I’ve stated before, he thrives in hot, humid weather. Loves chilling on sun-warmed rocks the best. SUFFERS in the cold.

It’s a legitimate struggle not to eat worms or bugs whenever he sees a juicy one. When he was a kid, he just ate them whenever, but after being bullied for this compulsion, he tried to stop and eventually just hid it from others.

Sometimes when startled, he might make a chirping noise, much to his irritation. If any other gecko-type people are around, they might chirp back.

Sheds a few times a year on a fairly regular schedule. Gets really uncomfortable and itchy for a bit and gets irritated more easily as he sheds. Once it’s over, his mood gets back to normal.

Enjoys dark places to just hide in sometimes. If you can’t find him, maybe you’ll be able to find him in a dark crevice or a hidden nook or cranny. He feels a degree of safety in spots like this.

As we’ve already seen, he can stick to walls. I don’t know why, but that just makes me happy for some reason.

Touya Todoroki/Dabi:

Hoo boy. This one is a doozy.

Despite his Quirk, his body is more suited to cold temperatures, as seen in canon. This means he greatly prefers cold conditions and suffers in heat. He’s one of the only ones of the League who can be out in winter weather without bundling up.

Burns extremely easily, especially when it comes to consuming hot/spicy things. If you’ve ever burnt your tongue on a hot drink, that happens to him at least 70% of the time, but not just his tongue. His entire throat gets burnt, and it takes a while to recover.

His skin is incredibly sensitive to temperature, and whenever he uses his Quirk too much he burns more and more of it. But due to the large amount of his body that’s burnt and scarred, a lot of his sweat glands don’t work properly, and this can overheat him even more. He constantly has to be careful about his internal temperature and often carries a thermos of something cold to help himself cool down. He needs to take colder showers otherwise his wounds get aggravated. It just soaks up the moisture and he’s more prone to bleeds.

As I’ve hc’ed before, Dabi needs eyedrops. Due to his tearducts being damaged enough so that he can’t cry tears (as he’s stated himself), much like Aizawa, his eyes get dry and irritated way too easily. He constantly has to be reapplying eyedrops to keep his eyes moist and try to heal some of the damage already done. If he goes for too long without them, he’s prone to bleeding, and witnessing this man literally cry blood is viscerally disturbing.

His staples can get easily irritated and due to his fire they stay hot for longer. If he’s not careful when dealing with them, he’s liable to get burnt worse just from the metal. If he’s too rough, they will start bleeding and he’ll have to disinfect his wounds yet again.

The purple parts of his body? Third-degree burns. He can’t feel a damn thing. Doesn’t mean he can’t rip and tear, but he’s likely not gonna feel it. He’s had to throw away a lot of shirts because the bloodstains were just too hard to get out.

Prefers drinking things to eating things whenever his jaw is sore from his wounds. While he was first healing as a teenager, all he did was drink things until he could reliably work his jaw again. Cold brew and ice-blended coffees are his drink of choice.

Gets sick really easily. Ever since he was a young child, he’s been more susceptible to ailments like the flu and needs to constantly keep up his health. His body is weaker than it should be, and that frustrates him a lot. As he’s stated in canon himself, he can be easily motion-sick.

[wisdomrays]

TAFAKKUR: Part 37

Your Intestine

Maybe now you will snap at me saying, “What are you trying to do? You are nothing but a set of long pipes, you are the last one to talk about itself!” But take care and do not be so quick to dismiss me; do not make a face at me for the waste material I carry. You need to know first that your organs-the heart, kidneys, liver, and others-cannot work without me. Exaggeration? Not at all! So just listen to me and see for yourself.

In order for you to understand me better, keep in mind a basic principle about the functioning of living organisms-they all depend on energy use. If no energy enters a living system, then no metabolic activity, no life function can be carried out. Think about a car without fuel. No matter how great the car is, it simply won’t work without any fuel in the tank. The human body is no different. Plants and animal products which people consume as food provide the body with fuel. However, you cannot make use of the energy in nutrients in the form in which you take them in. They need to undergo a process so that they become usable fuel for us, like crude oil being refined into gasoline to make a car work. This is roughly what my duty is. Without my functioning, you would be devoid of the energy to move a finger, and eventually die. Do you understand now how important a set of pipes I am? You just think that I look like a soft and hollow canal and misjudge me as simple. Well, I know that I don’t have such complex parts as the heart, lungs, and kidneys, but I’m created as a perfect work of art in plain design.

Although the hoses you use for watering your garden wear out and break in a relatively short time, my walls made of four layers keep functioning through a lifetime without any holes unless I contract a disease like cancer. My outer layer consists of a durable connective tissue, the next one consists of two sets-one horizontally and one vertically laid-of straight muscles, the next layer under that consists of glands spread in a soft connective tissue, and the innermost layer is the epithelial mucosa where the actual absorption takes place.

Now, let’s come to how I achieve digestion, one of your body’s vital activities. Actually, there is no place for me to take any pride in it; I’m just doing as I am ordered. Anyway, the complex processes occurring within my simple-looking walls are just fascinating! Every one of my cells producing the particular enzymes to break up each nutrient is like a separate factory. Some of these enzymes break proteins into different levels of peptides, some break the peptides into amino acids, some break fats into fat acids and glycerin, whereas some break carbohydrates down into glucose. All of these particular enzymes have their sub-branches within themselves. For example the enzymes breaking down fructose (fruit sugar), lactose (milk sugar), and starch are all different. In order for the enzymes to be effective, my inside needs to have the right pH level; the enzymes work in very sensitive conditions. To give you an idea, the enzymes in the stomach-which happens to be the second station the nutrients are destined for before they come to me-work in an acidic environment (pH: 2.5–3). In my case however, basic fluids are secreted and this strong acidity is neutralized for my enzymes to work.

My overall length is around 8.5 meters from the first entrance at the stomach to the last exit. The small intestine is nearly 7 meters long and the remaining 1.5-meter section is the large intestine. Although the small intestine is the longest section of the digestive tract, it is still called small since it is smaller in diameter than the large intestine.

The small intestine is also divided into three sections. The very short (25–30cm) and relatively thicker part right after the stomach is the duodenum. Bile-which works like detergent and facilitates breaking up fats-produced by the liver and digestive enzymes from the pancreas enter the duodenum. Thus, the nutrients are digested one step further and pass on to the second section (jejunum) and then to the third (ileum). You cannot easily tell apart these final two sections. As blood circulation is more intense in the second section, this section is more reddish and the contractions here are faster and stronger. The third section is narrower and has thinner walls. The blood circulation here is relatively lower and the movements are more limited. The thin membrane of connective tissue (mesentery) around me which attaches me to the abdomen wall and prevents me from knotting up is relatively fatty in this third section.

My most vital parts are the villi-tiny nipples covering the curly surface of my inner wall like a carpet. Shaped like the fingers of a glove, villi yield an enormously large inner surface. They contain a net of capillaries and lymph canals. In addition to the glands secreting the enzymes to break down nutrients, the secretion of certain glands protects me against the destructive effect of the stomach acid. Some cells secrete mucus for lubrication and protection of the passing nutrients. As some cells of the villi secrete digestive enzymes, some of my cells absorb the nutrients broken down until the final phase and pass them to the bloodstream.

How can some guys mistake such a splendid mechanism as a work of unconscious nature? What I’m telling you about is a manifestation of such great knowledge and might that it leaves you spellbound. I know the characteristics of foods, I know about the other organs’ needs, I adjust various enzymes and an absorption system, I fit them in a limited space… In addition, I do all these in the most ideal way, without any waste or flaw! C’mon can all these happen by themselves? Now, if I were to start telling everyone about the absorption mechanism in detail, they would probably see those cells as divine beings! The One who assigned special carrier molecules and a system for every nutrient molecule, has placed two transfer systems as blood and lymph pathways in every single one of those millions of villi! The blood pathway passes amino acids, water and salts into the blood directly, whereas the lymphatic pathway absorbs fats to pass them to the blood indirectly. After absorption, the nutrients become a property of the body and they are carried in the bloodstream to all the cells waiting for them in need.

Well, what about the waste then? Since everything you eat is not beneficial and usable, and some things are even toxic, they should be disposed of as soon as possible. The unabsorbed remnants are still too watery to be disposed of; sending them away as they are will be a waste of water and minerals. But don’t worry, everything is perfectly planned! Now the large intestine comes on duty. In this 1.5-meter section, the water of the waste and certain minerals are absorbed, and the waste solidifies. The large intestine is also divided into three sub-sections. The pouch connected to the junction of the small and large intestines is named the cecum and there’s the appendix at its end. This end sometimes festers and you have to have it removed in an appendectomy. Now, there’s this made-up story that the appendix was once longer since your ancestors only ate plants, that it has evolved into a shorter form for I now eat more meat, so on and so forth… Bah! Nothing is created in vain. If it didn’t have a duty, it simply wouldn’t be created. Only after some time did it dawn on them, after researchers proved that it is so necessary, that as a lymphoid organ, rich in blood vessels, it produces antibodies to fight the germs which somehow make their way into me.

The rest of the large intestine is the colon and the rectum. The mucosa covering my inner surface is rather smooth. It secretes mucus to facilitate the removal of waste. In addition, useful bacteria are made to work in abundance in the large intestine for your needs. These bacteria synthesize the group B vitamins like B12, thiamin, and riboflavin, along with vitamin K. You see how all the processes are carried out so splendidly? If it weren’t for vitamin K, your blood would fail to coagulate, and the slightest injury to your blood vessels would kill you. Could you ever have imagined that what looks to you like a sewage canal could produce vitamins of vital significance? Your Creator has infinite wisdom.

Now you may wonder how the acts of this organ which resembles a long hose are regulated, how the nutrients inside are propelled, and then thrown out. To put it briefly, the “willful” part of your brain does not even know about it. Indeed, if it knew, it would be constantly busy with me and unable to do anything else.

Under the control of the autonomous nervous system, the straight muscles of my walls gradually contract in waves-this is squeezing act is called peristalsis. The nerve fibers connected to me fall into two basic categories-sympathetic and parasympathetic. As the sympathetic fibers pressure me to slow down, parasympathetic fibers stimulate me to act. Thus, I try to keep a balanced functioning between these two opposite effects. When the waste material I propel this way assumes a state to be disposed of, it reaches the rectum, and when the walls here strain, I make a natural call to you that I need to get rid of garbage. This is the step where your will has a partial interference.

Colon cancer, which troubles many people today, appears in this final section. The major reason is consuming too much meat and fatty foods, lack of movement, and leading a stressful life. When these are combined, I fail to function properly. If you want to help me at that, you should consume fiber-rich foods such as fruit and vegetables, and also lead a peaceful life. My web of nerves is amazingly rich and complex. Therefore, I am sensitive to nervous changes. If you feel down or sad, and if you suffer too much stress, I begin to go into spasms. Then I fail to dispose of waste, the toxic material inside me begins to damage my inner walls and eventually increases your cancer risk. Therefore, you’d better take up the habit of a glass of warm water when you get up in the morning, and try to have regular meals at the same times of the day. Most importantly, always have fresh green vegetables on your table, reduce meat intake… and it would be great if you could afford to consume olive oil rather than any other.

Hey, wait! I was about to forget the most important point. If you don’t have any peace of mind, all of these will be useless. This doesn’t mean that you will never worry; after all, this world is a testing ground and you are a human being like anyone else. However, if you give in to troubles and get overcome by feelings like panic, fatigue, and hopelessness, then my functioning will be upset. So, troubles faced with active patience and effort without giving up hope do not harm me much.

I do not wish you to wait until you see colon cancer patients disposing of waste through a hole in their belly into a plastic bag before you feel grateful for the blessings you enjoy. Actually, maybe I have told you at most a tenth of what I know about myself. Anyway, I think even this much will give you an idea of what a work of art I am. Thanks for listening to me

[matildaisautisticandproud]

April 8th - 30 Days of Autism Acceptance

April 8: What are some misconceptions/stereotypes about autism that you hate?

1. People with autism don’t want friends. Albeit this might be true to some, this isn’t true to all. Most autistics, I’ve found, want to have more friends, but either don’t know how to go about befriending people and/or people don’t want to spend time with them. Personally, for years, I always longed to have a friend who got me and that I could be open with. (I struggled to actually be myself around people my whole life and still do.) My roommate, Missy, is that friend now, but you don’t know how lonely it is going through grade school without a best friend.

Lots of other girls had besties and many of my friends had friends that they shared their most darkest secrets with; they were super close to each other. Since I didn’t know how to go about forming that connection and I am generally a reserved person, I never had that friend and it was painful. I wanted a best friend, but I didn’t know how to establish a strong connection, maintain it, and most people thought I was “weird” and didn’t really want to be my friend.

I don’t mean to throw my own pity party by saying this, but I was the person who others would one day make me feel on top of the world by including me, but then, would distance themselves once they were done with me and make me feel terrible. This constant cycle of inclusion and exclusion, interest and disinterest, was really damaging to younger me. It frustrated me and made me think the reason I couldn’t have a close, good friend was because there was something wrong with me. (There’s never something wrong with you (unless you’re a murderer or that of the like). It’s society who is in the wrong for tossing aside such a beautiful human being.)

2. People with autism can’t feel or express emotion. This statement is 100% false. By saying this, people are invalidating the emotions of autistics, which is never okay. It is true that many on the spectrum have the inability to recognize their own emotions and/or don’t express their emotions as “normal” people do, but we still have feelings. Just recently, I have gotten better at identifying what I’m feeling, but I’m still not adroit with it. Also, I think that I feel a lot more deeply that those not on the spectrum, as do many autistics. Because I don’t really express my emotions, I’ve had people say that I seem “emotionless” and “robotic” all throughout my life. I never did and still don’t think much of it; it’s just how I am.

I get scared, sad, furious, elated, and more. Just because I don’t express my emotions in a way you can understand doesn’t mean I don’t have them. My body language is just different. (Also, I’ve learned to internalize all my emotions and grievances so, no body really knows what’s going on in my head.)

3. All autistics are just like [insert name here]. As I’ve stated numerous times before, the nature of ASD is that no two manifestations of it are exactly the same. Two autistic people may share similar experiences and struggles, but autism still affects them at least slightly differently.

4. Autistics can’t understand the emotions of others and are apathetic. Many autistics actually experience “too” much empathy. Some are apathetic, but as are some people who aren’t on the spectrum. Everyone is susceptible to being apathetic.

5. An autistic person has only struggles; they’re just their autism. Yes, autism is a key part of every autistic’s life, but it is not the only aspect of who we are. I think people should focus more on what a child can do than what they can’t, overall. Sure, Mark may not be able to handle going to the mall due to overstimulation, but he is especially skilled in painting. People should focus less on faults and flaws. Just focusing on such things will make life drab and miserable; plus, people as a whole are more than just their struggles.

6. People can grow out of autism, and it is only present in children. I, along with many others, are proof that this is false. I dislike how the struggles of adults (with and without autism, ADHD, and other disorders) are ignored in society. Not all problems go away with adulthood; it isn’t some cure all.

7. “There wasn’t all this autism/ADHD/etc. stuff back in my day so, it can’t be real.” These disorders are very much real. Perhaps the numbers have been increasing, but maybe there has just been a decrease in ignorance and an increase in compassion and acceptance. Also, diagnosing has gotten much easier, and since there is more knowledge available (i.e. the Internet) than ever before, people can self-screen and then determine whether or not to be tested. The only reason I am diagnosed is because I took the time to research different disorders via the Internet and decided to get professionally evaluated.

8. “Autism is caused by one thing.” Whether this “thing” be vaccines, a gene mutation, bad parenting, trauma, etc., this statement has been proven false by science. When studying the cause of autism, scientists have found that in one person, one gene could be the contributor to the person’s autism while in another, it’s a combination of several genes. The cause is unknown, but bad parenting has been debunked. However, there is evidence to suggest that the presence of heavy metals within a person’s system may be a possible cause. (Numerous children with autism have been found to have high levels of heavy metals within their body.)

As for the vaccine statement, it is unknown whether or not they do or don’t cause autism. There was a study carried out with the goal of proving or disproving the claim, but since the data was skewed, the results are invalid. I don’t necessarily support the claim, but there is not enough evidence for either side of the argument for me to take a side. I am a neutral in this debate. Though, I don’t believe that one should risk the death of their child just because they’d rather not have an autistic child. We’re not that bad; several parents love having an autistic child.

9. Autism only affects the brain. Again, I and many others are living proof that this claim is false. Many people with autism have co-occurring conditions like allergies, food sensitivities, gastrointestinal disorders, and epilepsy. Personally, I have numerous food sensitivities and gastrointestinal issues. I haven’t gotten a name as to what is wrong with my digestive system, but I do know there is a problem given what I experience on a daily basis.

10. All autistics are intellectually disabled. All statements that start with “all autistics” are automatically false. Even if the claim doesn’t pertain to autism itself (i.e. a political belief), autistics, like other people, have their own sets of beliefs and their own lifestyles. We’re human just like you; all that’s different is how our brains are wired and the struggles we endure.

To combat this claim, many autistics have a normal to high IQ level and can excel in school. There are those who have lower IQs, but they still can excel. One’s potential to be great isn’t dictated by IQ or a disability (or an ability and/or advantage for that matter).

11. Autistic people are great at STEM (Science Technology Engineering Math) classes. No. Although I especially excel with math and loved Algebra and Calculus, not everyone does. Some of us are great when it comes to STEM courses, but others of us struggle. Not all of us are even remotely interested in STEM, as well. Some of us prefer the arts, labor-intensive activities (i.e. construction), et cetera. We all have our different strong suits.

12. All autistics are savants. Some are, some aren’t. Although we all have special interests, most aren’t savants, actually. I don’t know where I fall when it comes to being a savant or not, but I’m not some super-genius. I didn’t invent some new scientific thing when I was 12 nor did I make a groundbreaking discovery. I do want to do something great with my future career, but I don’t know if I’ll ever be worthy of stardom and fame or be labeled as a savant.

The one thing I dislike is how people dismiss the existence of savants because they hate the stereotype. Autistic savants do exist, as do non-autistic savants, and saying that they don’t is harmful. Stereotypes come from somewhere, right? Savants exist and they deserve representation and appreciation too.

13. Autistic people don’t have relationships and moments of intimacy. Yes, they do. I personally don’t want a relationship right now nor do I want to engage in such intimate acts, but others do.

14. Autism kills marriages. This myth was made widespread by the infamous organization Autism $peaks. Sure, it may end some marriages, but why marry someone who is autistic then? If you truly loved the person then, you would accept them, autism and all.

15. Nonverbal autistics are all intellectually disabled. Although some are, not all are. A handful are highly intelligent. Autism isn’t a one size fits all thing.

16. Autistic people can’t do anything on their own/will never be independent. Some autistics won’t be able to be independent, but not all. Others don’t need any support while some, like me, need minimal support. People with all sorts of aid requirements exist on the autism spectrum. Each of us needs differing levels of support; also, especially so if one also has a chronic illness, some days I will be able to be completely independent, but the next day I may need lots of external support.

17. Having an autistic child is a tragedy. Yes, autism does make things more challenging, but there’s a silver lining in it. Like every other child, autistics are capable of great things and have talents. If people would just look past the struggles, label, and faults then, they’ll see an amazing person who isn’t just a diagnosis, but a fully fledged human being.

18. Autistic people are just rude. On honesty, we are not trying to be rude when saying the truth. In our brains, it is something that is acceptable to say. Many of us thrive on being honest as our brains tend to rely on logic more than anything else. By pointing out the size of your nose, we’re not trying to be rude. Personally, I don’t really struggle with being too honest, but sometimes I do say things aloud that shouldn’t be said. I just think of it as uttering an observation; I have no rude intents. When I am trying to be rude, you will know XD.

On conversational difficulties, it’s not that we don’t want to talk to you, it’s that we don’t know how to continue and/or initiate conversations. Not all autistics struggle a lot when it comes to social communication, but some do. Those who do, we just don’t know how to go about conversing “as normal”. We can’t help it. We’re not being rude. I struggle to continue and start conversations, which has led to many people thinking that I don’t like them. If you want to have a proper, lengthy conversation with me then, you have to start it and be able to keep it going.

On eye contact, we don’t mean to seem rude by not looking you in the eye when talking. For me, maintaining eye contact is distracting, which means that my focus is being directed away from what you’re saying, making me not able to adequately listen to you. Some autistics have little to no problems with eye contact.

19. “You don’t have to stim. Therefore, you’re just doing it to annoy me.” For me, it takes a lot of courage for me to feel comfortable with stimming around you. So, by ridiculing me for doing something that soothes me, you’re furthering my insecurity about it and hurting me. People who stim do it to self-soothe and to regulate themselves. Would you rather I shutdown (go nonverbal), experience sensory overload, or even have a meltdown? I don’t think so. Let people stim. Some of us don’t stim, but it is a lifeline for some of us.

20. “You don’t look autistic.” Well, riddle me this: What does autism look like to you? Apparently, we have completely different views on what an autistic person looks like. For me, an autistic person is anyone (a friend, neighbor, family member, student, teacher etc.) from any walk of life of any religion, lifestyle, culture, etc. The “autism look” is the generic person to me. Is there a specific way we should look, though? Please tell me more about your vision of how an autistic person outwardly appears.

I could go on about this subject for hours, but I’ll stop myself here. If you want me to debunk more myths and/or react to certain common sayings/stereotypes then, please leave a message in my ask box. I really, really, really! want to write more about this topic.

[artyrogue]

Blind Date Gaming: Konami GB Collection Vol. 3

Boy, I am WIPED after my date last night. It all started out as it usually does -- a quick visit to PRANG for an introduction to my next potential video game suitor. Who could have guessed that I would served up 4 dates! They all came together at once under the guise of Konami GB Collection Vol. 3.

I was greeted at first by an anime schoolgirl with a huge hand and quite possibly a contender for the weirdest hairstyles I've seen in a while. What is that, a grass-inspired mohawk laid over top a normal haircut?

Is this what the cows that make cowlicks eat?

What happened next was an eventful set of speed dates. This onslaught left me with no down time, thus the exhaustion. However, I did end up meeting some nice games. I'll speed through them each quick-like to keep this from being overly long. Luckily each of the games are pretty short (as expected from Game Boy games)!

First up is Gradius II! Now, I've never actually played a Gradius game, so I can't say if this is a port, some reconfigured version of Gradius II, or what. What I CAN say is that it has tight controls, beautiful graphics, interesting bosses, and some fun gameplay.

Looks like a rocky magic 8 ball

You start off hangin' out with what I assume are your dad and mom starships. Aww, family time! Soon, however, someone decks your old man and blasts your momma fulla lasers. Obviously disturbed, you fly forward and get chased by the perpetrator through a buncha rocks until you escape.

Good thing this guy doesn't feel like firing at me for whatever reason

...Except you kind of don't? You end up going through a bunch of planetary landscapes, shootin' dudes and grabbin' powerups that let you fire lasers and stuff. Pew pew! You eventually get captured, break out, and summarily fly through a ship, an asteroid belt, and I think some alien's guts? I'm not sure; I never went to med school for interplanetary digestive systems. Bosses fight you at every turn, and they are so sweet. Like, I don't always know what I'm attacking, but it just looks so cool that I really don't care!

Ever want to fight a kneeling, fanged alien stuck in a wall with detachable mouthy-brains? Yeah, well now you do, obviously!

In the end you find the enemy ship that assassinated your nuclear family with nuclear weapons, commit your own brand of galactic revenge, and I assume go on with your day in a half-arsed way, never addressing the journey you just went through for fear of sparking up some majorly weird PTSD.

Next up is some Castlevania game! It claims to be Castlevania II, but don't think it's Simon's Quest since it doesn't have slow-scrolling text boxes telling me that night is a poor time to explore the world when suffering from a magical adversary's angry sentiments. Instead, you just go about whippin' junk. Alright, I can be a lion tamer for the undead.

Why do cultists always gotta wear hoods? Can't they wear like a polo and some comfy slacks?

So in this installment, you can apparently shoot fireballs from a fully-upgraded whip, so it's instantly MUCH easier than most Castelvania games. The list of enemies is kind of lacking, but it was enough to feel competent. The level design was pretty spot-on, which is par for the course, though for some reason this game has a love affair with ropes? They're EVERYWHERE, but there's enough variation in the levels to give them pass. For example, some areas have auto-directional-pulling ropes, some ropes are spider webs made by enemies, some require quick sliding to avoid obstacles, etc.

You gotta wonder, does the guy living here have to go through all these traps every day just to get his mail? And how does he carry groceries back to his (probably rope-decorated) kitchen?

The boss fights were definitely memorable. Some of their designs were flat-out brilliant, and they were all pretty fun! Your sub-weapons weren't really that useful here, but that's fine. The bosses, too, were made a little easier with the projectile whip, but the designers struck a good balance between fun and hard.

These guys shoot out vertebrae in an arc, transferring them from one head to the other. I don't have a quip here, it was just a stupidly awesome designed boss that I wanted to gush about for a bit!

Well, perhaps I spoke too soon. The bosses were all fun except for the last 3 in the game. Allow me to whine and complain about them for a bit, if you will! The first was a tunneling snake on a forced scrolling screen that made you take damage unless you memorized where he was going to surface next (I HATE memorization-by-death gameplay). The next was a fellow Belmont who would relentlessly whip the crap outta you, throw swords all over the screen, and would probably be nigh impossible if I didn't have Holy Water. The final was Dracula, who I suppose gets a pass for being hard since he was the final boss...but he, too, was pretty much a memorization-by-death fight, too. The dude has 6 orbs revolving around him that spread out, essentially making 85% of the screen unsafe. Unless you know the specific spot to crouch down for the given position he's in, you get hurt, and you get hurt pretty badly. Oh, and you can really only hit him once per attack, so you'd better learn the safe spots for all 8 of his attack spots and hope you can hurt him and get into your safe position before taking damage.

ouch ouch ouch OUCH

In the end, it was overall a pretty fun time. Konami definitely knows how to make a good sidescrolling action game, which is probably why they're half of the name of the 'Metroidvania' genre. Go team Belmont!

Next up: Yie Ar Kung~Fu! What is this? I've never heard of it. It's a simple fighting game where you face off against 5 fighters, each with their own weapons and special moves. You play as a normal weaponless guy who can only kick and punch, because that's fair? Regardless, you must persevere through 4 rounds of these 5 fights, each time with your foes getting slightly harder.

Mmyep, this is fair.

My trademark fighting game strategy of sweeping seems to work for the most part, though as the difficulty ramps up, the other fighters move with ridiculous speed between attacks. Eventually, the game just becomes 100% about approaching a foe with more range than you, which obviously is the main focus of fighting games. What's that? Combos? Pffft, those are lame, just have the enemies fly across the ring like a sugar-high Jack Russel Terrier.

So this guy's power is to propel himself like a missile and look like an absolute goon while doing so

There's also a mini-game where you hit things thrown at you, but like they show up so quickly and your animation speed is so slow that it's impossible to do very well. It was an okay game overall, though, but I can sort of see why it isn't as well-known as Gradius or Castlevania.

Last game: Antarctic Adventure! It's a penguin-based racing game! I think? Does this count as a racing game? Well, you race against the clock, so sure. You gotta move at top speed through an icy wasteland, avoiding sea lions and holes in the ice.

I like how this sea lion looks after getting plastered in the face by a penguin moving at ~120 km/hr. Is he in shock? Is he alive? Should I notify his next of kin?

The lore is actually pretty deep in this game. The world has fallen into ruin due to global warming, and the glacier sheets on Antarctica are slowly melting away. As a penguin trained in espionage and terrorism, you must travel to the different embassies that many countries have propped up in an attempt to stake a claim in possibly the only livable area in the near future.

The french are planning to build replicas of their famous landmarks here, like the Ice-full Tower and Arctic de Triomphe.

You're not exactly racing as much as you are keeping ahead of the authorities pursuing you for planting bombs in the embassies. If you successfully plant your payloads in all of the embassies across all of Antarctica, you destroy their chances of bringing cultural imperialism to the local wildlife. Your customs are at stake! You must cast your empathy aside for the greater good of penguin-kind!

Also, you can sometimes turn into a helicopter? Not sure what that was about.

Okay, okay, yeah, I may have embellished a bit there. No, it's not as cool as that. You just run from one place to the next and heck if I'll ever find out why miscellaneous countries happen to have little castles in a barren arctic wasteland. People's taxes at work, I guess!

Oh right, there's also a fifth option on the main menu. It's Ms. O.C. Anime Girl explaining things about the games to you. I can't read anything she's saying, though, so I can only imagine the shady koala statue in the back has some relevance to her dialogue.

So that ends an exhausting series of dates. Whew! Glad you toughed it out with me. As I've completed all of the games this time, I didn't think another date was warranted. However, Gradius and Castlevania were fun enough to say that sure, I guess, it's worth going on another date in the future. Maybe it'd be better to find the original games, though, instead of this particular port. I can only assume the extra screen real estate, better sound effects, and greater ROM size would only enhance their experiences. And speaking of experiences, grab a Sprite of Passage from the jar over there on your way out! It's mint-flavored and can double as a water purification tab if you're ever stuck somewhere in the wilderness!

Man, I would kill to watch a skeleton ballet

[ahiddenpath]

Life Update

Hey all!  Gonna chatter about my life below ye olde cut.

I’ve been eating better lately, and it’s... making a big difference in my quality of life, actually.  You can read more about why I started making changes and see some of what I’ve been eating here.  But in addition to eating good things, I’ve reduced a lot of bad things, like fried food, refined sugar, and refined carbs.  I’m not saying I cut them out entirely, but I probably cut down on them about... 85%.

In short, my digestive system is working better, my hormone-based mood swings are easing, my period was the smoothest I’ve had in ages, I have more energy, and I’m overall just... less moody and blargy.  I’m kind of mad that I haven’t taken this step sooner, although it was intimidating and unpleasant at first.  It gets easier once you start feeling the benefits, though.

Job wise, I’m in a bit of a pickle.  My boss is leaving the company- she’s been there over 15 years.  I heard it through the rumor mill (she’s on vacation right now).  A few months ago, I would have kept my mouth shut and had a lowkey anxiety meltdown until my boss returned, but I went to her boss (the head of my group) and asked him about it, instead.

He confirmed the rumor that my boss is leaving and told me I have two options: learn something new with him, or do what I do now with one of the three people in my company that I dislike.  Adding to my skills is always appealing, and I have to avoid this coworker for my sanity, so I asked to work with him.  They are hiring a replacement for my boss, and I get to interview the candidates and have some input.

I’m change averse, but I’m cautiously hopeful that everything will work out.  It’s hard to lose my old boss...  Sometime this year, I learned how to work with her better with the help of my therapist, and we were getting along great.  She also recommended me for a promotion, so I hope that will still happen, although she knew she was leaving when she told me, so it’s probably fine.  But I want to learn new things, and with luck, I can help find a new good boss.

Everything has been so up-and-down since...  Honestly, since I broke my foot in late 2017.  But if I zoom out and take a look, I see that I’m becoming more balanced, more emotionally level, more willing to take action on behalf of my mental and physical health.  Therapy and self-awareness and purposeful change are... intimidating and sucky and difficult, and even a little scary, but...  The benefits are clear (I wrote a post about my therapy experience here).  And the more aware I am of the benefits, the easier it is for me to believe that the effort is worth it, and everything gets easier.

I think the hardest and most important thing is to be kind to yourself when you fail (ie, feel too shy or overwhelmed to ask someone a question that could help quiet your mind, eat a fried meal and spend a few hours feeling sick, fall into a mood and let it sour a day off), but also firm about doing better the next time.  If you’re too hard on yourself, you might give up.  But if you overlook failure and don’t try again, you don’t improve.  So... that attitude of “I-will-fail-sometimes-but-I-will-do-better-next-time” is huge.

My focus, energy, and interest in my favorite activities are slowly, slowly returning.  I’m nowhere near where I used to be, which is kind of devastating, but it is improving.  Right now, reading is the easiest thing for me.  I’ve been listening with a hungry heart and taking notes when something an author says means something to me.  I haven’t been writing as much, but I have been filling my mind with Important and Interesting Things.  You can read a bit about that here.

It’s all very strange, because in some ways, recovery still seems far away.  In others, I can tell that I’m doing better than ever, that I’ve improved as a person and figured out how to live with damage done to me in the past.  But the only reason I started on this road is because I hit rock bottom first, as they say.  I never had energy, I always felt a push away from emotional overload, I had no interest in things I loved, I could barely take care of myself when I used to go out, play guitar, exercise, read, play video games, write 200K+ words a year, etc.

I hit critical failure, and even though I’ve improved some things beyond where they ever were before, I’m still patching up the damage I took when I was at my worst.  But if I keep going...

Sometimes, I think about recovering what I was, but carrying everything I’ve learned, and I get excited.

[rootsooman]

How can we Vegans employ moral relativity when dealing with carnist cultures?

I am a vegan from a trod-on background. I come from people who were herded, bred, farmed, and killed with impunity because (even today) we were and are considered non human animals (beasts of the field). And as carnivores feed on herbivores, likewise us human omnivores ate both plants and animals. The difference here is that, in ancient times, animal life was sacred. So were the lives of trees, yams, forests, rocks, stones and water bodies.

Killing was not taken lightly, and heavy superstitions and tribal law ensured that extinction was not possible. Even when slash and burn techniques were used for farming and planting, the jungles were still thick and the lower population density and the lack of money (we used cowrie shells or traded) meant that massive land destruction was unnecessary because eating and feeding our families was not a corporate enterprise. We had no need to import or export food. We farmed, we gathered, occassionally we hunted. Humans are of course, majority practicing omnivores despite our very frugivorous biology.

Now we are all in the 21st century. Us wild folk and us industrialized folk. And now, thanks to decades of progressive thought, vegans can be found among us all. But a big problem with mainstream vegans and purely animal rights vegans is a tendency to forego moral relativism when dealing with omnivorous/carnist people. This is a grave mistake that not only is ethnocentric, speciesist in itself, ableist, classist and downright wrong, but it further isolates all creatures from the cause of veganism REGARDLESS of how the fate of non human animals is tied in with human animals and the environment. Using arguments like health, aesthetic and the frugivore theory do not help veganism either. A first world, educated, westernized/industrialized person can not begin to understand the complexity of the relationship between peoples and their food and their beliefs if they grew up in a society and world that offered them CHOICES at every turn.

Choices are not something that comes freely and easily to individuals who were moulded and shaped by an environment that has existed for thousands of years longer than veganism. Change has never been a quick or easy process. Evolution of thought may be quicker, but not by much. When approaching populations who sustain themselves on hunting, just imagine how absurd it would be to stop lions from hunting. Lions do not kill for sport. They have been seen in the wild saving the lives of helpless prey animals. Their carnivorism is biological. You may say, well, humans, we have a choice because we are not carnivores. True, but the illusion of a choice is relative to your society and sustainability. Some tracts of land are very dry and NOT abundant in adequate plant foods. Thus, patterns of eating are highly dependent on historical, geographical and cultural eco systems.

Importing corn to a desert could very well cause digestive issues or make indigenous farmers poor. Look what happened in Haiti when Monsanto flooded it with FrankenRice, causing native farmers to lose their entire food security and independence, and how Big Government made the native (tropical adapted) Haitian pig go extinct over a swine flu scare. Now there is HUNGER that is virtually irreversible. This same patronizing attitude is being adopted by vegans: "Why can't they just grow kale and wheat and almonds to make almond milk? We can just send it there! Presto!".

And watch a country starve?

As vegans we have to accept the FACT that the world will not be vegan ANYTIME soon. It is up to us to decrease as much as practically possible, the suffering of our fellow animals (human and non human) and our environments. It is not as simple as forcing people to give up eating meat.

Also consider Food Deserts. When all you have ever been exposed to for generations are cheap, calorie dense packs of Oscar Meyers bologna and other awful scrap cuttings leftover by the privileged, plus, being ridiculed and debased for enjoying fruits like watermelon (cheap, filling, healthy, abundant) there is no way you can safely just go vegan without first reversing years of (psych+phys) damage and relearning everything, yes, everything you know about food. Some populations' relationship to their foods has been damaged beyond recognition and it will take time, patience and understanding to help fix that. We have to wear their shoes to understand how to approach their change. You have to wear our shoes.

You have to put on that skin, and see yourself made out by society to be a monkey, ape or beast for enjoying a f***ing fruit. Imagine having to show up to a job interview and the employer thinking, "I'm supposed to hire and pay a comical creature like this, when I can hire a person to do the job?" All because of decades of damaging imagery. If you can't feel what it's like to wear the pelt, don't discourage anyone from wearing the belt.

The lowest cancer rates in the world are found amongst us "primitives". We also lack the eye, dental + heart issues, high blood pressure and lactose-caused diseases of our Westernized breeds. Our populations in modernity tend to die from DIET based disease rather than environmental ones like malaria. Yes, meat plays a large role in that, but the root cause itself isnt general meat consumption but industrialized meat consumption. Meat was never the largest portion on the plate for "primitive" people. It was the smallest.

While modernization can alleviate some of those problems, we have to understand too that most of these "gifts" from the elite (yes, that includes all 1st world beneficiaries of 1st world perks) come with a catch and are built on centuries of exploitation: human, environmental and non human.

"I'll feed you, clothe you and cure you if you eat like me, talk like me, sh!t like me, sit like me, do this for me, and live like me" and that is NOT the answer. Building American toilets instead of squat toilets? The gift is double edged: better sanitation and, as a bonus? colon cancer. Likewise, veganism in its current mainstream form cannot simply be applied to any given people or place. It has to be bio-suitable and enviro-suitable. Acknowledging unique needs is not politically incorrect, it is necessary. Tarzan is not the answer. Grassroots is.

I am lucky to come from a population that is 90% lactose intolerant. But that doesn't mean going vegan was easy, but I am glad for every single one of the 6 years that I have been and won't be turning back. However, being that I and the cows are one and the same in our plight, I know what it feels like to be so domesticated and severed from my instincts as to be heavily reliant on the elite (which yes, does include you vegans of privilege as much I love you and thank you). For a while, cows were fed other cows. It hurt them but they were hungry and it was what they knew. Likewise, severing reliance on our breeders requires an overhaul of identity that moves away from the corporate (national) to the environmental (natural).

Please approach cultures armed with knowledge AND understanding before proposing Veganism. Transitions can only be relative, and the world will never be 100% vegan. It was pristine before veganism. The culprit is western civilization, not carnism. And we have to reimagine "civilization" (colonial elite corporate hegemony) before we can reimagine carnism.

I'd like to end this piece by saying thank you to all the western vegans who use so much of their time and power to further the vegan cause. Your work is valuable wonderful and is making waves in the push for a safer, more sustainable, more beautiful world. Just remember that being a savior should never be the goal. A savior has a position of power and we do not need any more of those. We need grassroots level change.Meaning, learn from us, do what you can, then move on.

A creature that cannot feed itself is a PET.

[eapers-eaters]

Tarse x Reader: Alpine Wood-Work

In which a skier gets lost in the woods and needs rescue after a grisly injury, when originally mistaking Tarse as something dangerous.

The shouts and excitement from the trailhead had all but been silenced by the trees and heavy snow. While many skiers and snowboarders liked to show their stuff on the rails and ramps, you preferred the quiet and long scenic route—a gentle slope punctuated by occasional sharp turns and slightly steeper angles. You’d come out by yourself this time, confident in your knowledge of the mountain, and happy your skis alone left tracks in the soft powder.

About a third down the trail, you began to notice the trees becoming unfamiliar. You had been here just last season, but the trees seemed to be older, taller, and closer together. You pulled off to the side and dug into your pack for the map you habitually picked up from the lodge. You stared confused, only now noticing the once well-marked trail had seemingly vanished, replaced with minimalist outlines of danger. Bears, rockfall…avalanche. But that didn’t explain why the trees were different. You knew this trail, you knew you didn’t take a wrong turn—there was no other turn to take once you started. You decided you were too far down the mountain to trek back up, so continued down the slope, knowing you would still reach the bottom all the same. Or maybe not.

The trees continued to grow stranger—needles were the wrong shapes, branches looked more like twisted arms than the rigid, rough boughs normally seen at these elevations. Too, you began to notice brambles and herbs lively and green, as if for them alone summer never surrendered to the bite of winter snow. The forest continued to encroach upon the trail, until you were finally faced with a wooden wall broken by deep, obscured shadows. You began to pant as you searched for any sign of a break in the forest, but eventually accepted the trail had completely vanished.

You decided you had to continue on foot, so unstrapped the skis from your boots and wrapped them tight to your pack. With the poles gripped tightly in your hands, you entered the dark, cold forest and followed that invisible line you once knew so well. No snow made it to the ground, but is was still unnerving how lush and pristine the undergrowth was. Had you not been so concerned, you would’ve loved to sit and stare, but you were on a mission. You didn’t want to be out here when night inevitably fell.

A breeze blew through the branches, a wave that shook the trees which creaked and moaned in protest. But the forest was healthy—no weak roots threatening to drop a massive trunk on your head, no dead trees losing limbs as they rotted away. You had heard of eternal forests, ancient and still, but they were all far off, not to mention on the opposite side of the mountains. There were rumors, of guardians who used unknown magics to will the plants to grow, and to rid any intruders. But those were tales. They had to be…right?

A different noise made you freeze in place. It was the snap of a hefty branch, and it was close. You slowly turned your head, but saw nothing to make such a sound. Then you heard a log being split open and loud crunching. You snuck silently to the closest tree, and just barely peeked around the rough bark. All you saw was a furry shape, absolutely massive and foreboding, before you quickly turned and attempted to sneak away.

Oh god, it’s a bear, you thought, I just need to stay calm, it’ll leave me alone. It’s too busy with…whatever it’s doing.

You swore you had been deathly quiet when the crunching stopped. There was a swishing sound, different from the needles in the wind, and you looked back for just a moment. It was staring right. At. You.

Your instincts won over as you ran. You didn’t know where, just away from that thing. It was not a bear’s face you saw. You had no idea what ‘it’ was, only it should not be here. You weren’t sure how far your sprint carried you when you saw the forest’s edge, bordered by bright, soft snow. What you didn’t see, however, was the rock obscured by snow-covered ferns.

The sound that escaped your lips was halfway between a gasp and an ear-splitting shriek, whilst from your ankle came a sharp crack. You moaned in pain as blood seeped from your boot, soaking into your pants and staining the snow around your feet. You shivered as you felt your body struggle to keep conscious against the shock and pulsing agony from your broken ankle. But you didn’t hear any pursuer.

You listened over your hammering heart, and was met with silence. You weren’t sure to be relieved, or enraged at the carelessness that got you in this situation. You tried to sit up, only to fall back, face-first, into the snow. You’d never had a high tolerance for pain—not that you suffered many injuries—so this was utterly incapacitating.

You remained still for some time, hoping there was a chance someone would find you, when you heard vegetation being crushed and something coming towards you. Your heart quickened again as you attempted to play dead, which was fairly convincing as you laid limp, face-down in the powder and smelling of blood. You felt your stomach sink as a loud, chuffing breath warmed the back of your neck. Any second now, you expected long, sharp claws to dig into your back, and were pleasantly surprised when you felt fingers press into your shoulder. That too, however turned to dread as a heavy, hand-like paw landed near your face, barely visible in the corner of your visor.

The thing moved around you, sniffing, until it retreated back to your injury. At the gentle touch, you couldn’t stop from weakly moaning, “Agh! It hurts…”

The pressure immediately lifted, and sweat threatened to cascade down your brow as the thing shuffled closer to your head. You could feel it kneel down to be at eye-level, and surprisingly softly, it said in a rumble, “You can speak. Good. Will you let me help you?”

You found it hard to reply, not just from surprise, but the growing lightheadedness. You finally managed to push out a small, “…Okay,” which seemed to satisfy the creature.

“Good,” it moved back towards your feet, adding, “I won’t be able to fix internal damage, you’ll need your human doctors for that. I will close the wound and ease the pain, but I doubt your ability to walk.”

At that, you anticipated another wave of agony, but when pressure pressed close to the wound, that was all you felt. There was a feeling of your skin being tugged at, but that didn’t hurt, either, despite how strange the sensation was. By now the sun was hidden behind the surrounding trees, and you began to grow cold as the light receded.

The creature seemed to finish tending to your injury, then rumbled, “Allow me to keep you warm,” as you felt a furry, thick coat begin to wrap around you. It lifted you from the snow into the coils as you finally got a good look at the thing.

Its long and thick body was covered with the ragged-looking pelt, a deep grayish-green with occasional splotches of what looked to be moss or lichen. While one large, muscular arm helped in supporting you, the other appeared to be a  limb of vines only superficially resembling that of an arm. It had no legs, its chest down a slowly tapering core of muscle, which led you to assume it might be a naga, but the face—in addition to the aforementioned details—told otherwise. It wore a wooden mask, with prominent but harmless teeth engraved around its rim, and two white eyes that looked back with an almost disinterested expression. You truly had no idea what this was.

You did begin to feel warmer, but you still felt incredibly apprehensive with this thing wrapped around you. Its voice remained gentle, however, as it conversed, “You appear concerned. I will not harm you, like any fellow creature I’ve previously met. You do not have to fear me. I will keep you safe. You may call me Tarse.”

Your voice threatened to die in your throat, but you eventually croaked, “…w-what are you?”

The emotion in Tarse’s eyes didn’t change as he replied, “I am a Wyrm. My kind does not normally frequent here, and I only desire to pass by on my journey back home.”

All you did was nod. Tarse held you close as night began to fall, covering all except your face so you could still breathe. It sounded as if he had fallen asleep, for his breathing slowed and muscles relaxed, but still kept a secure hold so you wouldn’t slip. You looked at the stars, wondering if your friends knew you were even here, but slowly, too, drifted into unconsciousness.

You were awoken with a start as an explosion rocked the mountainside, and without a word Tarse wrapped around you entirely, bracing his body as you were trying to make sense of things. You could hear wood breaking, rocks colliding, and an ungodly roaring as the whole world outside seemed to fall to pieces.

As soon as it started, the chaos was silenced. All you could hear was the breathing of Tarse and your own heart beating out of your chest. Moments of relative silence dragged on, and was only broken when Tarse began to speak.

“The snow and rocks have us completely buried. It I move too much, this space will collapse. I can dig my way out, but you would not be fast or strong enough to follow. However, I will not leave you to perish. I need your trust and understanding.”

You slowly nodded, knowing you had no choice either way.

“I have disagreed with my kin on their actions, but still have the ability to consume things whole,” Tarse continued watching you with his luminous eyes, noticeably much softer now, “I am more plant than animal, but still possess a digestive system similar to yours. I usually only eat plants, and when I do ingest an animal, it is never to kill or provide myself sustenance. I can protect and transport you this way, if you are willing.”

Far, far slower this time, you nodded. If Tarse left you, you’d be crushed by the debris, and though a visceral instinct told you this would also lead to certain death, you were in no position to deny and expect your desire be seriously considered.

Tarse nodded in turn, the rumble in his voice now a gentle purr as he advised, “I do not want to cause further strain on your injury. I will ingest you head-first, and though I understand you will likely struggle, the more still you remain the easier and faster this will be.”

You heard creaking, and felt fear rush through you as Tarse’s mask had a part break off on each side, which extended into long, flexible jaws. He moved slowly and minimally, straining under the weight and attempting to keep you calm despite the horrified expression under your visor.

With jaw fully extended, he asked, “Should you remove your bag? It may be uncomfortable to have it with you, and I fear I may damage it due to its dimensions and shape.”

You had forgotten it was still strapped to your back, and quickly pulled it off with a half-hearted sigh. You untied the skis and laid the poles beside them, saying, “I still want this, but I don’t need those.” Thankfully, they weren’t your favorite.

Tarse nodded, “Once you have settled, I will deliver your belongings to you. It will likely be somewhat cramped, but I’ll try to be accommodating as possible. Tell me when you’re ready.”

The words hung in the quickly vanishing air, and you struggled to come to terms with what was to happen. However, since the Wyrm was letting you decide when, it gave a minimal sense of reassurance. Eventually, you resorted to telling yourself, it’s just another adventure. If this Tarse guy wanted to kill me, he’d’ve done it already, and wouldn’t care if he hurt me more. Godammit, how did I get myself into this…

Tarse watched you with patient eyes, and only nodded when you told him you were ready. With his arms raised to keep from being crushed, he used his tail to gently lift you up to his face, still only squeezing hard enough to keep you stable. As he opened his jaws wide, you could hardly see anything more than a black abyss yawning back at you. This is it, you thought, and the jaws descended over your head.

You didn’t realize how cold you were until Tarse’s warmth washed over you. You couldn’t help but shiver as your once soggy, freezing clothes were now drenched with warm, slippery saliva. You also shook as a wave of revulsion hit you, spurred by the action of Tarse’s tongue coating your neck and chest, and couldn’t help as you squirmed with discomfort. The Wyrm paused, sensing your distress, and after a few moments of you mostly reassuring yourself, continued.

You felt yourself tipped forward as Tarse tilted his own head back, and whimpered as your head entered his throat, thankfully only further drenching your visor and helmet. In your ears, you could clearly hear the sound of gulping as you were swallowed, but also heard something like creaking wood as the esophagus grew tighter. Tarse began to swallow with more force, and after seeming to push your shoulders past this point, once again resigned to gently easing you deeper into his body. When you finally felt your feet taken in by his throat, you found yourself wondering how much longer until you were in his stomach. Soon as that thought arose, you were pushed into a chamber far looser, and within half a minute, you were completely sealed inside.

You couldn’t help but press your hand into the plush—but highly textured—walls, which pulsed and shifted around but never once encroached further upon you. It seemed fairly sudden when you heard another gulp and your bag slid inside the stomach with you, also soaking, but thankfully it was waterproof. You held it close to your chest as your position shifted, and you felt the muscles around you flex as Tarse likely began to burrow through the debris.

You expected the heat and lack of oxygen to send you to sleep, but your mind was surprisingly alert as your surroundings continued to shift with a noticeable wave-like pattern. You remained silent, and nearly squeezed the bag from your arms as Tarse spoke to you.

“There is a human residence further down the mountain, but when I arrive it shall be mid-day and generously occupied. I would only be able to deliver you there when night falls. While I can regurgitate you a minor distance away so you may arrive on foot, I do worry your injury may impede you. If you would allow me, however, I can heal you far more effectively with you inside me, though there may be permanent, albeit harmless, side-effects.”

“Like what?”

“You may lose pain sensation in that limb, you may acquire an unforeseen defect, or part of your body may be replaced altogether. I do not doubt my ability to treat you, but as you’re awake, it may be disturbing and painful.”

“But,” you began, “I’m not tired, I can’t sleep…”

“I have been supplying copious amounts of oxygen to you,” Tarse explained, “however, I can supplement a kind of anesthetic into the air around you that will put you to sleep. Will you let me do this?”

“I can’t make you either way, so…yeah, I guess,” you replied, and felt the walls shift around you again as you became aware of a sweet smell. You weren’t sure how much time passed, but eventually you felt the laced air fill your lungs and your eyes grow heavy. Your speech grew slurred as you asked, “You, prromis you’re not gon’…I’ll still wake up? Laterrr ‘course…right?”

“Of course,” was all Tarse said, and you slipped from consciousness.

    Your eyes flew open as you sat up and gasped, wincing as bright light entered through your visor. Breathing quickly, you tried to recall how you may have gotten here, propped up against a tree along one of the maintenance roads with your bag awkwardly situated in your lap. You distinctly remembered taking the path you normally took, then getting lost, but then…?

The memories flooded back, and you relaxed against the tree, breathing a relieved sigh that you seemed safe, but most importantly, Tarse kept his word. You reasoned he must have let you out while you still slept, then as you remembered your ankle, tore off your boot and gasped. Instead of the pinkish flesh or a scar, your ankle and foot was completely replaced with a wood-like substance. You touched it, expecting there to be no sensation, but besides the smooth, hard texture and color, it still felt, and looked, like how it normally would. You gaped at this, flexing your foot and then standing, finding it to hold your weight perfectly without any sign of the past injury.

You couldn’t help but smile as you pulled your sock back on, then your boot as you thought of how your friends would react. Surely, you would have to come up with a tale that sounded less farfetched than what truly happened, but it was a challenge you were willing to take. Looking around you, you tried to see if Tarse was still around, but there was no sign of the Wyrm. You wanted to thank him, but reasoned you would have to get back to the trailhead soon, or risk him being discovered by someone else.

With a grateful sigh, you picked up your bag and slung it over your shoulder, using the sun’s position to decide which way down the road to take, and began your trek. It was only a few steps when you groaned, bec

[strangemaloney03-blog]

Seductive Sport clothes.

On a 500 calorie diet plan WHAT can you probably accomplish that might be taken into consideration workout?. Compared with males which shed exercise with getting older, those who maintained their exercise had a 30% lower threat of death; those which improved their exercise had a 40% lesser risk of fatality. fitnesswelt-de.com have an idea that this is your brain prepping you to seek food since you are actually primarily starving. Diet plan without physical exercise produces thin fat" people and workout without diet makes fit however body fat" people. Like others on listed below I am back on the 2 breast support option (one underwire a bit as well significant, one aged sports bra a bit also limited). The main reason why I am taking this up is since this whole showed me that the sport itself is actually not just what creates you lose the weight, yet the plain act of removaling and acting in conformance to just what your body system requirements from you to accomplish. Thus, merely move your way: dance, strolling, missing, or carrying out whatever you should do in a secure ay. Salute along with a little nut butter, a piece of entire fruit product, a glass from dairy, or a sport beverage may aid obtain you going as well as still be digested prior to you work out. Now where a bunch of these arguments seem to be to link is actually the activity of ice hockey, a game which, while certainly not played considerably down listed here in Australia, is actually the national sport of Canada. The dining establishments are actually constantly free as well as the all-you-can-eat smorgasbords urge sizable plates piled high with meals. Furthermore, some moms and dads from also more youthful gamers, worrying the prospective risk off scalp accidents, are maintaining their youngsters off participating in football, football, and other sports. Thankfully, you do not need to invest a fortune at the local area organic food retail store so as to modify to a healthy and balanced lifestyle. After lunch I was actually over my veggie quantity through 4.5 ounces. This's the tomatoes. Old practices slipped back in. Considerably resorted to meals to turn off coming from lousy feelings and also circumstances. I presume user-friendly eating is actually thus pleasing considering that it proposes a well-balanced, delighted relationship with meals. She efficiently exposes lots of health and nutrition myths, like 1) the should eat every 2-3 hours, 2) saturated fat is bad for your center as well as arteries, 3) eggs misbehave for you (excessive cholesterol levels, you understand), 4) surface items are actually important for health. As well as whatever sport children remain in if they're certainly not picked in staffs or even if they think that they haven't been actually sustained sufficient there will definitely always be some unhappiness. I have actually never gotten on a trip, yet I carried out visit an extensive hotel once for a full week and all the meals was actually included, so it was REALLY appealing to eat continuously, specifically given that you could possibly regularly get something. Make the effort to consume a balanced food or even treat a couple of hours before you start thus you possess opportunity to absorb the food. Ground corn, prepared right into tortillas, is still the shipment system from selection for just about any sort of filling up conceivable. So in fact our company are actually partaking a beautiful area backyard, a great deal from meals has actually been actually expanded below because of individuals collaborating, they all provide their downtime to functioning listed here, so a bunch of the fruit and vegetables are going to be directly coming from this landscape. This's in fact a great headline b/c that allowed's you recognize to expect each advantages and disadvantages from the sporting activity. Several talked about how colorful as well as excellent our meals appeared, compared with the icy lasagna they were actually providing. Esports is a million-dollar sector along with millions of singing fans around the world and is rapidly coming to be the most-viewed and also fastest-growing sport in the U.S. The goal can be elevating much heavier traits, competing longer, burning fat, dropping ache, or carrying out better in a sporting activity. The Great Guide () Established by Lecturer Dara 'Rourke from the University of California-Berkeley, this for-benefit" start-up delivers an individual guide to usual items, ranking each by wellness, influence on the setting, as well as impact on society. He became rather a prominent individual, if you like, in the texas hold'em arena and this delivered into concern his, ah, his history in sport betting and in gambling typically. One more great service the super-local headlines could offer is coordinating a household's timetable. They could go from sitting all day to boosting their position, leg durability and strength status up. Even merely varying between standing and also sitting could significantly increase their power, assist all of them burn added fats, healthy muscle mass, increase their metabolic rate consequently so much more. I also presume numbers 2 as well as 5 are rather big problems for a ton of individuals, however each one of these factors are very important, as well as just one being actually a complication is actually typically sufficient for an individual to 'stop working' at a diet. DTC genes firms should accurately explain the restrictions from health and fitness and nourishment genetic makeups as well as create no deceptive or even overstated claims regarding the potential advantages from their product. KERRY STAIGHT: North from Adelaide, capsicum farmer Andrew Braham is actually readying a brand-new garden greenhouse for planting, as well as some of the nutrients within this garden compost come from food items rubbish. If you remain in Bali and also a guide inquires if you wish to wish inside a temple DON" T DO IT. When you are actually not a member from a caste, the quick guide is actually often operating all together with the police and also can easily fine you for wishing. My lower leg cramps could be related to shortage from magnesium mineral, calcium mineral, or blood potassium. Store that there for 1-2 few seconds, at that point bring the best lower leg back down to fulfill the various other leg. Given that a sporting activity demands you to do something that over opportunity results in damage does not imply as a result that is actually wise, simply. Juice, sporting activities cocktails, as well as other beverages could help replenish the fluids and electrolytes that your child drops during a massive exercise.

[multipikblog]

How To Field Dress A Deer

All we will do is simply continue this process. First I want to present “How do I make a heart dress”. I like to take some gloves with me that use latex for cleaning. Everyone will ask what kind of knife. How To Field Dress A Deer  I use this made by my friend, so I can not buy it online, but everything. When we went further and used it now. With this knife I use almost every deer I collect and it was very important to me. Why I have this, let's go to the beginning. We start around the anus area every now and then. We'll just change paths and just stick to it. Then we start by just cutting a circle around the anus. You can take a knife and cut small to loosen things up. We can get him out as soon as we move forward, and now. What we are going to do is start breathing this important substance. I want to shave up so I can use my legs so I can grab my last legs so my knees are bigger. Then take it to put your hand on your skin and so on. You want to be sure. You do not cut the navel, just cut it carefully.

It's just the skin of the piece made of leather. I want to go ahead and rub my skin by cutting this membrane. But be careful not to cut what you put in your stomach. You can now see that the deer hit the angry shoulder on the shoulder. Therefore, the contents of the stomach are not released into the cavity like others. And this is going to be the cleanest oily sauce I have ever made together. I was at the place where I first touched and added this diaphragmatic muscle. You can touch the heart by touching the heart, you can touch the knife and cut the throat. How to dress ready You need to cut your throat to clear that part of your heart and lungs, and so on. Just pull things into your stomach and be careful not to cut them together. If you go to this point, you can just cut the stomach of the colon. You just have to stop, I say anger is a good thing now. Heart, heart, why does this deer not disappear anywhere. We will go ahead and save him. We will cook it to make a great meal, after you are done with that service. You see, I have everything in my stomach, so be careful. If you do it right, you will notice a little blood, be careful.

You do not cut into the inner loins. If you cut, you will later regret it, and make a great piece of meat. We will now go back to the anus and start from there. I cut my thick tip so I could hold the piece. You want to make sure you get the anus of the tia. We now have a full passenger seat with breathing. Some of you know that this can be very difficult to control. This step is very important. The harvest should be done quickly, except. You need to be able to stay awake at night, of course you can. You take these simple steps because most pipes are handy. And what we will do now, we take these deer. We'll take it to our slaughterhouse, wherever I go. I rinse in without breathing. And so we do not have to worry about damage or anything just coming out of the blood. We let your age then seven days have a totem temperature of 33 to 34 degrees in our walk-in refrigerator. Then we cut and enjoy, and as you can see this time, who. I look after my son, he is an important fatherEating meat is one of the questions we often have to prepare. An example we set here is the Couer deer, a white deer deer. That is the beginning I will show you now. How do you reach your heart? Production production is all fun and horny. Can can take it out, as I will show you, if you put it all in pieces. Stop as if you were being towed about 40 miles [40 km] in your car. I learned these rules and broke them all. You need to save time later, do the little things you learned online. The first step is to reduce energy. The only thing that helps you get a clean job when everything comes in peace and sound. Go through it all, and you will see all the murders that I am going through here. Go down all sides. But cut immediately and there, and remove the colon, then. In another method, I run it like this, I just cut the flesh, not the nerves. In most cases, you must give evidence of the woman involved, please see. We will go to the side of the bed. We will leave the fear here and remove it when we cut it. Now open the corruption hole. Cut meat here is easy, and bone. Look at your legs. So I put the plate on the other side. Now I go the other way.This is redemption. Down again in the middle of my thigh I now have the pelvis on one side. Cut yourself. Open it and urinate. Take it out a little and clean it up here. So here we can, lower ground, anything loose. Bones and bone marrow are exposed on one side. How do you reach your heart? I would also jump here and kill the skin. Join my world. Look, I’m crossing my skin. Will would have thought I was brave. When I cleaned the floor, the sternum was empty. In the meantime, if you are not careful, you can get upset. Bone protects you here, so you won't be soft. I can only go where I have bone protection. Now, I am at the end of tnum and I am building myself up well. The upper skin cuts the tissue only, stabilizing the abdomen. Things to keep in mind when designing this product. We worked for him, as you can see, and I was always on the go. This is done by running, the reason being that if I take a knife, things fall apart. All I do is cut small pieces of hair and you will see them everywhere. When I walked this way and when I entered, tears came.Hair does not grow back and does not grow. Now I am ready to pierce my stomach. I want to do this without hurting myself. This is the only wall of the muscle, where you remove the skin, the skin and the hair. It is best to go here at the sternum level. We then dug in, crossed over here. Well, that's all. I put my finger here. My fingers lay between the navel and the abdominal wall. I plan to separate the pregnancy from year to year. I do not throw them with my knife. Awesome. The sooner you do this after killing the animal, the better. Because the animals began to breathe. When he likes it, everything gets harder. This is hard to do without playing anything. I cut and did this up to my waist and then back to my waist again. Now I take sawdust and want to get it out so I don’t cut my strings. See how I take everything, everything is on the way. I punched it and cut it on the other side of the leg. One cut can be made. I cut it in half with this camera, just to show you. How do you get a big big gate, then you can pull it off, I cut both sides of this bone. Draw this way. We have a system of open doors and this applies to animals. Later, in hot weather, deer pipes will be planted. Quickly where the ball joint is cut from this. Allows you to release much of this heat. Also here I am cut in the middle of the sternum, away from the digestive organs. You do not have to worry about wasting everything. Meghee. Now what I want to do, I will do it and tear my heart. This is the heart bag. Just check out this section. Well, let’s keep that in mind. It has a clean area Read More...

[exilesofembermark]

Game Dev Update | 3.12.18

“THIS is what I see on my screen.” - Your Opponent

So proud of the Victory image from the UI work we’ve been doing, figured we’d better show the other side of the coin this month. Hopefully, you won’t see this screen too much (unless you’re playing me, in which case enjoy this screen-- remind me I said that on launch day).

Last update, we gave a follow-up to our publishing announcement, detailed the Exiles end-of-battle sequences, and introduced concepts for Archmage Edyrin Zaan, who played a key role in Embermark’s Collapse many, many years ago. This time around, we’ve got gameplay and crafting updates, a look at Edyrin’s cohort and warcaster friend Elle Manigold, info on our coming First-Time-User-Experience (your intro to the game) and a look at how we’re going to try and quickly tell you story elements as you pass through this fantasy world we’re working on.

CRAFTING EVOLVED

The crew here at Gunslinger is working at a fever pitch right now, implementing all of the learnings we’ve had over the course of the last several months about everything from combat (which has been detailed in dev updates here and here) to systems to the way players build characters over time. We’re aiming at a result that brings build strategies to the forefront, communicates what happens during battle in a much more straightforward way and increases the tastiness of loot.

And that’s what we’ll cover this time around-- loot and how crafting has evolved. The loot system is pretty straightforward-- A Common item-- say, a sword, has specific stats on it (how much damage it does, any affects to the player’s core stats like Strength). A Rare Item has a prefix-- say, Mighty. Making a Mighty Sword. That prefix has up to 2 stat effects as well (like a plus to STR and CON). An Epic item has a prefix and a suffix-- say, of Shenanigans and that suffix comes with stats or special effects of its own. Making a Mighty Sword of Shenanigans. Legendary items are bespoke designs and very special and delicious.

Before the current design pass, you could Craft random items for a specified slot (like your Chest or Head) as well as Salvage stuff you didn’t want and create items from specific recipes. You could also Upgrade items, which wasn’t super interesting-- it was just the equivalent of leveling an item.

To make the Forge more user-friendly and increase the fun part of loot management, we’re making the following changes:

Salvage is moving over into your main inventory in the Character screen, since that’s where you usually want to get rid of stuff

Everything you can make is now a Recipe, even the random stuff (so there will be a “Forge Random Sword” recipe as well as a “Forge Mighty Sword” recipe)

Upgrade is replaced with Transmute. So instead of simply leveling a sword from low to high, now you can change its attributes with a reroll, like changing the item’s STR buff into another stat like SPD or CON, depending on how you roll. This will be a feature with limits-- you won’t be able to turn anything into anything else. You can change one attribute, but that will lock the others. 

EDYRIN ZAAN - NOW IN COLOR

Last Update, we shared the sketch concepts for one of the pivotal characters of our fantasy drama -- the Archmage Edyrin Zaan, who started the wheels turning toward the collapse of the continent and the otherworldly shenanigans that made Embermark a forbidding, chaotic place. 

Now we’ve fleshed him out a bit, and he will be making appearances throughout your journey across the land (see the glimpse at the Narrative System below). Is he friend or foe? You may have a hand in deciding...

(btw, if you’ve been paying attention to the Dev Updates, that staff may trigger your imagination)

ELLE MANIGOLD: THE CATALYST

Edyrin didn’t come upon the dangerous practice of summoning-- or of manipulating Mystic power-- alone. He had help.

Enter the deadly warcaster, Elle Manigold, whose story will be revealed over time. Her upbringing, her power and her relationship to Edyrin all had massive ramifications on the continent that’s come to be called Embermark. Have a look at the visual development of this battlemage, who you may or may not fight (but you will definitely want her weapon).

THE TPWER HAS A BEACH BALL

Our friends at Industrial Toys (the studio Gunslinger was born out of) sent us a housewarming gift for the new space we moved into a little over a month ago. It’s a ridiculously large beach ball that caught some infamy momentum on Reddit, given its potential to inflict terror and bodily injury. We’re currently trying to figure out what to do with it. Suggestions welcome in the Exiles forums.

THE NOT-A-BAT

“There are no rats, bats, wolves or skeletons in Exiles.” - TheWizard on multiple occasions

Fine, I lied about the wolf thing (but see-- ours are cool). Well, this is most certainly not a bat. But it is a horrible flying face-eater, and you don’t want it eating your face when you encounter it in its various ecosystems (out in the jungle, deep in the caves, etc).

This nasty is well on his way toward giving us a base for flying enemies, so stay tuned for his color, model and flaps next Update.

THE FIRST TIME USER EXPERIENCE (OH, AND THE NARRATIVE SYSTEM)

We’ve been threatening testing for a while now, and while I’m not reporting a date for that yet (*sideyes the Exiles in the Discord channel), I am reporting a plan. With the gameplay evolutions and the PVE system coming online, it’s time for us to get the game ready for a new player to experience it. Thus, our next big milestone is a working First-Time-User-Experience (FTUE) that teaches the basics of the game and levels a character to about Level 10. With that comes a couple of new systems-- the Tutorials System and the Narrative System. 

The Tutorial System isn’t super exciting (I mean, I’m excited about it, but sharing the part of a game that many players go “can I skip” isn’t what I’m all about right now, so suffice it to say, there will be one, it will show you what to do to get started and then it will get out of the way for your climb to heroism).

The Narrative System is more exciting -- to share, anyway. One of the ambitions of Exiles is to tell a sweeping fantasy story in many ways directed by players’ actions. The system we’re building to tell that story lets us do just that. There are three parts to it:

1) Trackable Items

Just about anything players do in the game is tracked-- the fights, the wins/losses, the enemies killed, the foes bested, the factions helped or hindered, the narrative choices one makes, the aggregate leveling done, the events outcomes, you name it. This provides the Exiles designers a bed of history from which to trigger events and tell stories about what’s gone on in Embermark. 

2) Talking Heads

Seen below, this is your paged spoken-word info. Characters will appear on-screen, point you toward important stuff (Quests, new map locations, events) and disappear. You’ve seen this a million times in games, but we’ll make it easy to digest quickly.

3) (Human) Written Episodes

After every Season (which is currently a month of real-world time), Episodes of Tales of Embermark will be published, outlining the ongoing narrative and player actions that went down during the preceding Season, creating a historic log from the beginning of the game and hinting at things to come. 

FROM BANDIT TO BOSS

Along with the FTUE comes a string of baddies for players to smash (or be smashed by). Wildewoods, the Zone that you see above and the training grounds for new players, has all sorts of nastiness to encounter, including wolves, ogres, elves (who aren’t really nasty, but they will shoot you with poison arrows) and a scheming band of bandits known as the Darkeye Syndicate. 

We’ve shared in the past our method of creating endless variation for NPCs (particularly humanoid NPCs), and this is the first in-game implementation of that system. The Quests we’re designing to onboard a new player will involve these thuggy outlaws, a semi-organized rabble preying on new Exiles and the folks in Wildewoods alike, all built off of the same model, using gear that’s reusable for player characters. 

And I couldn't resist a quick shot of the bandits’ Cutlass ^... cuz it’s got a skull on it.

And I didn’t claim there wouldn’t be spiders, did I? Cuz there are-- and they’re also going to chomp your face:

We just rigged it up yesterday (see video), so we should be incorporating our 8-legged enemies into quests and battles very soon.

DON’T FORGET TO REMEMBER…

We’ll keep sharing details as we head toward testing (remember to PM TheWizard on the Exiles forums with your device type if you want in on closed testing & beta later), and you can count on early impressions from the testers throughout our various channels.

If you haven’t already, follow along with Exiles development on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. And if you haven’t, I’ll find you. And SMITE you.

CONNECT WITH OTHER EXILES

If you want to hear about the game, ask questions or connect with others who are helping the development team think about features, design and narrative, hop into the Discord Channel for live chat and say hi– it’s a friendly crew with plenty of daily/weekly/sometimes-planned shenanigans.

BONUS: A BASHER

Because it’s not an RPG without a ridiculously large, painful-looking 2-handed basher:

BONUS BONUS: ETHEREAL VARIANTS, ANYONE?

Ethereals in Embermark aren’t from here. They’re from... over there. Thus, the Ethereal NPC we’ve shown in the past isn’t necessarily always going to be one of fire-- or of heat-- or of an elemental variety. Sometimes, they’ll be from/of/based on other makeups. Take a look at this video from our VFX crew (of one!) showing how many setups we might explore...

(and for those of you in a clicking mood, here’s that Ethereal dying-- he seems almost... surprised)