#I’m not being cheeky it’s legitimately super funny

[lady-harrowhark]

doctor said there was no visible inflammation so if my biopsies come back normal i can go three years before my next scope.

she also said basically my entire colon is made of scar tissue at this point but like. we knew that already.

[tsukishimaenthusiast]

Could you more of the reader ignoring the boys for a prank headcanons? Maybe with Tsukishima, Ushijima, and Tendou?

tsukishima, ushijima, and tendou when their s/o ignores them as a prank {headcanons!}

these are obviously a lot shorter bc theyre hcs but i still think i got the point across ykyk ¿

tsukishima:

you and tsukishima were doing homework together

you finished before him and called out his name to start getting his attention

but he didn’t respond or react to you

granted, he could’ve been really invested in whatever he was doing at the moment… but he would usually look up at you or ask, “what do you want, y/n?”

you started feeling petty tho… and thought, “well two can play that game.”

so you just stopped calling him and did some extra studying on his bed

you heard tsuki close his textbook and watched him sit beside you on the bed

if it were any other day, you’d probably pounce on him or something

but you decided to act as if he wasn’t even there

after about five minutes of sitting next to you in silence, he finally said something

“y/n.”

you looked at him but didn’t respond

he grabbed the textbook out of your hand and closed it

“really y/n? is this cause i didn’t answer you earlier?”

you shrugged your shoulders and grabbed the textbook to open it again

“fine. you can continue to ignore me. it won’t phase me.”

tsukishima went back to his previous seat, put his headphones on, and buried his head in a textbook

you two stayed like this for a couple more hours

soon enough, you had to return home

you started packing up your things and walked towards tsukishima’s bedroom door

before you could leave, tsuki lightly grabbed your wrist

you two stared at each other for a bit

he quickly pecked you lips and said, “love you..”

you stared at him blankly for a couple of seconds before muttering a “love you, too,” back

LMAO yall both annoying byeyeyydyshs

tbh if yall had like a legitimate argument, youse could ignore/ stop talking to each other for DAYS

ushijima:

“so is ushijima the clingy type?”

you and your friend were talking about your boyfriend, ushijima

“eh, not really. i mean, i only think i consider myself the “clingy” one because he’s just really straightforward and isn’t super lovey dovey,” you explained

“what would happen if you began ignoring him, then?”, your friend asked

you shrugged your shoulders,,, you weren’t sure

somehow, you and your friend decided that you were going to ignore ushijima the next day at school

ushijima always eats lunch with you

he went to your classroom and sat down next to you

“hi, y/n.”

you didn’t even acknowledge his presence

he waited for a couple seconds before speaking up again, “how has your day been?”

again, you gave him no response

he grabbed your hand… you couldn’t ignore him anymore, so you looked up at him

“is everything alright?”, he asked

you pulled your hand out of his grasp and continued eating your lunch as if he wasn’t there

you weren’t looking at him, but you could tell he was staring at you

“okay,” was all he said and continued eating his lunch with you in silence

you went on with your day,,, ushijima had practice after school so you did worry about having to purposely ignore him again

at around 9pm, you wondered if ushijima would call or text to check up on you… although it seemed very unlikely at this point

you heard your doorbell ring so you answered it and

ushijima was there, holding a bag in his hand

“hello y/n. i don’t know if you’re sad about something or mad at me, but i brought you your favorite cookies.”

he handed them out to you and you accepted

then, ushijima wrapped his arms around you and held you close to him

he kissed you on top of your head and whispered, “i love you.”

at this point, you couldn’t even say you were playing a little joke on him, you just let him hold you for that short while

tendou:

you saw someone on tiktok talk about a prank they did on their boyfriend where they ignored him for a day

you immediately thought of doing the same thing to tendou

you and tendou met up at your usual spot in the morning to head to class together

“good morning, sweetie,” he cooed

usually you’d say good morning back or give him a kiss, but today you didn’t

you heard him make a “hmpfff” sound

“i get it… i’m really tired, too.”

you two continued walking in silence

when you guys were with your other classmates, tendou expected you to become more lively

and you did, except not towards him

he became curious as to why you weren’t talking to him so he pulled you aside

“is everything alright, y/n? you’re not really talking to me...”

you were about to turn away from him but he grabbed you by your shoulders to make you stay

“woahhh, are you mad at me or something?”

honestly, you were about to answer and tell him it was all a joke but the bell rang, saving your prank

during class, tendou texted you

“do you want to talk about this during lunch?”

he saw you read the message and became annoyed when you didn’t reply

tendou pulled you out the classroom when it was lunch time

“are you gonna tell me what i did? or why you’re just not talking to me, actually? cause i didn’t do anything,” he reasoned

you stared at him in silence and after a couple of minutes, he became whiny

“babyyyyy. talk to me. what did i do?”

he tried his best to start making you laugh or smile but you didn’t budge

“okay… fine,” he muttered, finally walking away from you

tendou saw you walking out of the building before his practice started

“y/n! wait up!”

you tried to walk faster to get away but he caught up to you

“i don’t want to see you go home today knowing that something’s up between us. can you please explain what’s wrong so i can fix it?”

you looked at him and saw he had his serious face on

so you being you, you laughed in his face

“ahahah!!!! sorry babe, you just looked so funny. and my apologies, i was playing a prank. i was ignoring you for the day!”

tendou’s face dropped and he gave you a disgusted look

“you’re foul for that one… making me think i did something wrong,” he complained

you flashed him a cheeky grin

“c’mere, give me a kiss before practice!”

[horansqueen]

Stuck With You - Chapter 34

Chapter 34: Somebody

🡪chapter 1  🡪chapter 2  🡪chapter 3  🡪chapter 4  🡪chapter 5  🡪chapter 6  🡪chapter 7  🡪chapter 8  🡪chapter 9  🡪chapter 10  🡪chapter 11 🡪chapter 12 🡪chapter 13 🡪chapter 14 🡪chapter 15 🡪chapter 16 🡪chapter 17 🡪chapter 18 🡪chapter 19 🡪chapter 20 🡪chapter 21 🡪chapter 22 🡪chapter 23 🡪chapter 24 🡪chapter 25 🡪chapter 26 🡪chapter 27 🡪chapter 28 🡪chapter 29 🡪chapter 30 🡪chapter 31 🡪chapter 32  🡪chapter 33

College Enemies To Lovers AU

characters // masterlist // instagrams // mood board

I never felt like this with somebody I never thought I'd feel like I do I never felt this close with somebody Somebody, somebody but you I never had this rush in my body I never thought I'd feel something new I never felt this close with somebody Somebody, somebody but you

Something 'bout you and the way we fit Like the stars in the night, heat of you on my skin Hadn't known you for long but it felt like years From the second we met I knew things would change

click here to be on the update list

PLEASE VOTE FOR ME, AM CONVERSATIONS, STUCK WITH YOU, NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOURS AND MY ONESHOT ON HERE!

NIALL

                                         A few days later, Devon and I had packed in silence. It was snowing and I kept glancing outside the window, seeing her from the corner of my eyes every single time. I knew I had been rough with her and I also knew that fucking her roughly against the wall of public toilets was a bad idea. At that time and with so much alcohol swallowed, It had seemed legitimate but now, I felt like an asshole and I had no idea how to handle it or what to think of it.

It was a good fuck, I wouldn't say different, but definitely not our best. I remembered the first time we had sex and the pictures she took, realizing she had never showed them to me, even if she had promised she would. Perhaps we had been so busy with our ex lovers and fighting with each other that we forgot about how amazing the few days alone at my apartment had been.

We remained silent a lot now and I hated it. I missed the sound of her laughter, her rambles and complaints, her comments while we watched a movie. The only thing I was still aloud to hear were the snores while she slept and I found myself sitting in my bed to listen to them a bit too much, and a bit too late at night.

I wanted to ask her to sit in the front seat with me in the car but I was scared she'd refuse and I was not even sure why it actually scared me anyway.

"Are you gonna ride with Lewis?"

"Mm, I'd rather ride with you." she admitted, glancing back at me before grabbing a hoodie and throwing it randomly in her bag. "Daxia and him are just getting on my nerves with their cute little nicknames and their non-stop affection. Did you know she sometimes pretends to purr? What the fuck?"

I let out a laugh and zipped my bag before turning around and letting myself fall on my bed to sit. "I know, I noticed. I think it's cute."

"Oh you would." Devon chuckled, shaking her head.

"What does that mean?"

She turned around to sit on her bed too, sending me a huge amused smile. It felt so good to laugh with her and feel like she actually cared about me that it made me want to lock the door and not go on that trip, keeping her here with me.

"The first impression you give is like, a fratboy." she admitted with a smirk. "Confident, a bit stuck-up, someone who brags all the time. Basically, you seemed to embody everything I hate in boys, especially those in college. But when we get to know you... you're a romantic, a softie. You've got the biggest heart I've ever seen in someone, and that makes you extremely endearing. That's why everyone loves you, that's the real reason you're so popular."

"Is it?" I just whispered, a bit shocked by all the compliments she had just thrown at me.

"Yes." she confirmed with a nod, sending me a fond smile that turned into a smirk. "Your face helps, too, I have to admit."

"Oh you think I'm handsome?"

She smiled more and tilted her head, nibbling on her bottom lip. "You know I do. Everyone does."

I wanted her to get up, walk to me and straddle me. I kept imagining her sitting on my lap, facing me, before her lips would meet mine. I couldn't stop thinking about my hands traveling on her body and her moaning in my mouth. I wanted her to whisper to me that she loved me while I made her cum. It sounded like the perfect scenario but I knew it wouldn't happen. I had made it clear I wanted more than just sex, and she made it even clearer that she didn't want a relationship. It was a mess, we were fucked, and I hated this situation more than I could explain. I didn't know how to handle it or change it. We had reached a deadlock and I couldn't find a solution.

Louis kept repeating me that she loved me but the more time passed, the less I was convinced. Was it even possible to resist that feeling for so long, especially when the other person is always so close? It didn't seem likely and my fate in the reciprocity of my feelings was faltering.

"My first impression of you was that you were a shy and boring girl." I admitted with a chuckle. "That's why I wasn't sure why I felt so connected to you. I don't think being around people who thinks art is useless is something I could easily do. But you turned out to be so fascinating, talented, funny and genuine. You're also a little cheeky minx, and I love how you don't let anyone walk over you, especially not me. And god knows I tried."

Her lips curled gently and she looked a bit embarrassed but I was not sure why. She licked her lips before pressing them together and finally, she chuckled.

"That's something I had promised myself when I left my old school, that I wouldn't let anyone walk all over me anymore. That I wouldn't be this... this vulnerable, naïve girl with so little self-esteem." she explained with a shrug. "It's nice to know I partially succeeded, even if it's hard to save my own heart, sometimes."

"Sometimes we just don't know how to really save it." I explained in a low tone, looking in her eyes. "Sometimes we just do it the wrong way, you know?"

"I don't know, I'm just trying the opposite of what I did last time." she confessed. I could read in her eyes how sad she was and it broke my heart.

"How does it feel so far?"

This time, she looked up and stared at me for a few seconds. "Not good."

I was trying to find the right words to tell her that she should give us a chance without being too aggressive but I couldn't find anything and after a while, my phone beeped. I sighed and grabbed it before reading Louis' text message.

"Okay, Louis is here. I didn't even know he was gone." I admitted with a frown.

"He's been so weird these days, and absent too. He's always super busy and doesn't answer my text messages."

"I think he's got a girlfriend."

Devon sent me a sad smile and shrugged a shoulder. I didn't know why she seemed so sad about it but I didn't try to find out. It was already hard to accept that she didn't love me the way I loved her, I really didn't need to start being jealous again, at least not of Louis.

"Yea that's one of my hypotheses, too"

We both grabbed our bags and got out of the building quickly, walking until we both spotted Louis' car. I held my breath but my lips finally curled when I noticed a cute brunette sitting on the passenger's seat and glanced at Devon to see her reaction. She didn't seem to think anything of it but I noticed she moved slightly closer to me.

"Look, I got to warn you two, Daxia invited Mandy and Noah, and one of them invited Abby." Louis let out as soon as we got close enough.

I glanced once again at Devon and at the same time, she had glanced at me. We shouldn't even care about Abby at all but here we were, and I was not sure why she was so much of a threat to Devon. Of course, I would be suspicious of Henry only because he's her ex boyfriend, so I could understand the aversion she felt for my ex girlfriend but at the same time, if Devon didn't love me, why was it such a big deal?

"Hey, Dev." Louis let out gently, grabbing her attention. "We won't let that ruin our trip, alright?"

She nodded and pressed her lips together before taking a quick look at the girl sitting next to Louis and then look back at him. "I'm gonna ride with Niall, okay?" she let out gently. "Give you two some intimacy."

She just sent him a fake smile and turned around. I was about to follow her when Louis yelled her name and she turned her head and raised her eyebrows up. "I just... I'm offering you the first drink, okay?"

It took her a while but she finally just nodded and we walked to my car before hopping in it. She threw her bags on the backseat and when I started the car, she immediately reached for the heating button.

"What's wrong? What happened between you and Louis?" I asked as I drove, following Louis' car the best I could.

"He's distant, and annoyed with me." she just shrugged. "People tend to get tired of me at some point but I honestly thought Louis was different."

"Devie, Louis isn't getting tired of you." I just explained, shaking my head. "He's got a new girlfriend, that's it. He's never gave up on me and he honestly could have many times. That's not how he is, trust me."

She remained silent but sighed and turned to look by the window. I would have given a lot to find out what was happening in her head but I didn't dare asking. We weren't back to being close, and we hadn't talked about those rough exchanges of words, whether it was the one we had late at night in the dark street or the one in the public toilets of a bar, and I was not sure we ever would. We could pretend everything was alright all we wanted, it was a lie. She was sad and I was in pain, and pretending we were fine was not going to change anything.

"Apparently, Daxia and Lewis are going to ride with Mandy, Noah and Abby." she finally said, taking me out of my thoughts. She typed something on her phone and my heart jumped in my chest when It made me realize that we were going to be alone again for a few hours. "That's a pretty loaded car." she added with a shrug.

"Not our problem."

"Nope, not at all." she agreed, leaning on the bench and bringing her feet up, placing them against the door of the glove box.

I noticed she had taken her boots off and even if it should bother me, it really didn't. I was in it very deep and I was literally drowning.

"That means we could have gone with Louis, save fuel and a car." she added, turning her head my way and making me chuckle.

"There's no way I'm riding with him. Not in that car. Plus, look at how slow he is. We're following him and it's a pain in my ass."

This time, Devon laughed genuinely and it made me smile. "I don't even ski, you know." she pointed out a few seconds later. "I'm just going because I'm really alone for Christmas this year, but I don't think I'll ski or anything. I brought canvases and paint, I've brought a few books and movies.. I mean I'll join you guys downstairs for a drink at night or a hot chocolate but I've never really been sportive or anything... and even less when it came to sports practiced in winter."

"Alright, no ski time for you. You know, we only go to spend time altogether. Some of us just also likes to ski."

The conversation continued for a while but when it stopped, Devon put music on and I started singing despite myself and she joined me. At some point she just stopped and even turned the volume down a bit. It made me chuckle and I glanced at her only to feel my heart jump in my chest at the way she was looking at me.

"Did I annoy you?"

"No." she whispered, leaning her head in the bench, sending me a fond smile and shrugging. "I just get so many feelings when you sing."

My smile fell and I licked my lips. It brought so many questions in my mind but every time I wanted to ask one, I stopped myself, either scared of the answer or of the way it would make her react. Before I knew it, we parked and took our stuff out, following Louis and his girlfriend in the hotel. We were walking in the lobby when Louis moved closer to us without looking at us.

"Look you two don't be pissed but, I sort of put both of you in the same room." Devon frowned while I raised my eyebrows and Louis just groaned. "Don't blame me. First off, the rest of us are sort of in relationships. I think Abby's got a room by herself so if either of you want to switch room to be with her, be my guest. Anyway, it's not like you two weren't used to share a room, right?"

We stopped near the counter but neither me or Devon had mentioned anything. Louis turned to us this time and his eyes moved from me to her and he finally rolled them. "Look I'm sorry, I just honestly thought you two would be dating by now."

I cleared my throat, feeling suddenly a bit uncomfortable, and noticed Devon bringing her shoulders up and wrapping her arms around herself, showing she felt pretty much the same. We had planned to meet in a few hours at the restaurant but it's only when Devon and I entered our room that my jaw dropped.

"I can... sleep on the floor if you want." were the only words my brain could form and express and it made Devon chuckle.

"Don't be silly, the bed's big enough for both of us." she replied, putting her bags near a side and taking her coat off before placing it on a chair. "Besides, it won't be the first time we share a bed."

Flashbacks of us cuddling in the bed of my apartment appeared in my mind and I blinked a few times as if it would make the memories even clearer. We had spent many days sleeping in the same bed but somehow, at that very moment, it felt totally different. I wondered if Louis had asked only for one bed for us because he honestly thought we were going to be together by now, or just because he's an asshole. Either way, it didn't change anything and I walked in the room to put my bags down.

I got ready to join our friends but when I got out of the bathroom, I noticed Devon in sweatpants with a book in hands. It made me frown and I grabbed my phone and my wallet, glancing at her.

"You're not ready?"

"Mm, no, I think I'd rather stay here." she admitted with a shrug. "I'm not really hungry anyway. Besides, I'm not really in the mood to see your ex girlfriend."

"Legit." I admitted, raising my eyebrows and nodding. "Do you want me to bring you something back?"

She looked up from her book and leaned her head against the pillow behind her. It made me want to kiss her and tell her once again that I loved her. It made me want to stay in the room to spend the whole evening with her.

"No, thanks, that's very sweet of you." she let out gently. "It's late anyway, I'll probably be asleep when you'll come back."

When I came back, however, she was not in bed. I frowned, realizing the lights were still on, and found her laying on the floor in a fetus position. She had put papers on the carpet to be sure she wouldn't make too much of a mess and she probably had forgotten her easel because her canvas was on the floor. I smiled when I noticed she still had a brush in hand and even more when I realized she fell sleep using yellow paint.

I turned to look at her panting and finally noticed the shades of orange and red all over it before crouching down to have a better look. I couldn't explain how good it felt to see her use other colors than dark grey and navy blue, and it made me wonder what exactly it meant. I took the canvas slowly and gently, placing it on the desk in the corner of the room before walking back to her and getting on my knees.

"Devie, hey, come on, let's get in bed okay?" I helped her up and she groaned, leaning on me and still half asleep.

I brought her in bed, laying her down and she quickly curled up again as I brought the covers over her. I got undressed and got under the blankets too, turning my body her way to look at her, my head leaning on my pillow. She looked peaceful and I noticed dried paint on her hands and forehead, wondering how long she had been asleep. The whole time I was at the table with my friends, I regretted not staying in the room with her but somehow, I knew she probably wouldn't have painted if I had been there, and the result was totally worth it.

"Mm, Niall."

I held my breath when she whispered my name and something twisted in my stomach. For a second, I wondered if she was awake but she started snoring softly again and I exhaled when I realized she had literally murmured my name while sleeping. It was the cheesiest thing ever and at the same time, I had never heard anything that made me happier.

"Don't worry Devie, I'm here." I whispered back. "I'll always be."

[moononastring]

hello, my darling,

today I found out that a friend of mine from school has read acotar, which was very exciting news for me, since I didn’t know any people in real life who liked these books, and while we were conversing, i broached the subject of elain’s love interests.

unfortunately, she is an el/riel.

She has yet to read ACOFAS and ACOSF, but still, my instincts are pushing me to gather evidence to prove to her of what the superior ship: Elucien.

If you could be ever so kind to help me convince my dearest friend that elucien is everything good in the world, i’d be most grateful.

therefore, if you could link posts from yours or other blogs or even make a list of why elucien is what we all deserve, you’d make a loving follower very happy.

Sincerely, 🧃anon

(See what i did there??? All formal and shit??? I’m proud of myself!!! ‘m not gonna lie to you!!! It reads very funny and i love it!!!)

My dearest 🧃'nonnie!!!

Sorry it took me a hot minute to reply!

To be honest, I want to give you a piece of advice (and know I mean this in the most loving way) but...let your friend ship them lol. After all, it's what fandom is about, no? I personally don't like trying to convince anyone of anything when it comes to shipping. I legitimately don't give a rat's ass if you ship what I ship or not just don't be mean lol!!!!! There's nothing wrong with her shipping the ship that shall not be named even though I hate that ship with a burning passion.

My issue has never been so deeply with the ship itself (like yeah, they had their moments here and there and prior to Azriel's POV I can see why people liked it) but I did not like it regardless because to me, Elucien just always made more sense. And I don't like a ship that has to be at the expense of another character. My issue is certain shippers that just forget canon and decide they are correct and nothing else matters lmao.

However, I do not like to shove my ship down anyone's throat. I’m just very clear about who I ship and what I don't lol.

She hasn't read ACOFAS (which will give her fuel lol even though I personally have always read it as Elain being a cheeky friend elain, azriel, and lucien could've had such a great friendship but that was ruined and i'm still bitter about it.) and especially when she reads ACOSF and his bonus POV, she might no longer like them? I know a lot of shippers jumped ship after Gwyn came into the picture. Azriel being super gross about his thought process regarding Elain in his POV also made people uncomfortable enough to stop shipping. Said it once and I'll say it again, there was nothing romantic about the way he was thinking about her in his POV but whateverrrrrrrr. I say...when she reads ACOSF, she will end up changing her mind on her own because the potential of Gwynriel (plus Azriel's being disgusting in his POV) has changed a lot of minds haha.

Let her ship it and discover Elucien goodness for herself! It's more fun that way to suddenly be hit on the head with feels for an unexpected ship haha. As long as she doesn't become an asshole shipping that ship like some people end up being, I say ship and let ship. You can casually share elucien fanart and fanfics to her and be like look!!! cute stuff!!! 🤣 My blog is a plethora of elucien content girl! send her here haha! There are so many great blogs that always have elucien content so if anything...you can always casually slip links hehehehe.

Don't worry too much about the shipping and enjoy talking about the series with her!!! I know it seems like that's all ACOTAR is ever reduced to but it's such a fun series to enjoy so have fun talking about it with her, shipping aside!

[mjjjj07]

Quid, Innit, Go on then!

In the title of this post are 3 terms I’ve learned so far in my first 30 days here in England. Quid is a synonym for the pound (Great Britain’s money for those of you who aren’t aware haha). “Innit” is the quick way to agree with someone (as in saying “isn’t it?”). “Go on then” is another way to agree with someone in a somewhat cheeky fashion implying maybe you shouldn’t or don’t agree but it’s funny to say you do. I have settled into my routine so far here and first term classes are almost over already even though it feels like it just started! I have 3 classes this term – Organizations, Stress, and Health (OSH); Intro to Research Methods (IRM); and Workplace Counseling and Career Development (WCC). I have two 1500-word essays for WCC due in the next 2 months as well as a 3000-word article review due for IRM early December and that isn’t counting any of term 2 assignments. In a word: SIGH. I have been keeping up with my schoolwork so far by making sure to be at the library 4-5 hours on Mondays and Fridays (as well as after class during mid-week).

Since my last post I celebrated my 28th birthday with course mates and flatmates which was fun! We had people over to pregame but it turned into a house party and I was tucking myself into bed around 11pm as I had one too many vodka sodas + lime. We also celebrated my flatmate Lauren’s birthday last weekend by going to a club called Ink. It was fun, but clubs aren’t really my scene. A week or 2 ago myself and my friend Katie went out for beers with other course mates at a pub. Here in England the difference between a pub and a bar is that a pub has furniture where you can sit around and chat. That night out was definitely more my style. We met up with a few guys, George (who is English) – he and I discovered we both taught English in Madrid previously! What a small world. The other two gentlemen are Indian and from London – Vikash and Pranim. They were very polite and offered up ideas for where to watch fireworks in London because I plan on traveling there to ring in the new year! The other English guy was a bit feisty. Of course at one point someone brought up American politics (a frequently discussed topic) and he challenged me on my knowledge of the American economy to which I said “I’m sorry…are you American?!” I didn’t appreciate his attitude as he claimed to know more about the economic situation in America than an actual American (me). So we discussed further and I explained that even though I made $38,000 per year in American it isn’t considered an above-average salary like it would be considered in the UK. Besides that it was a good night of tasty beer + good conversation.

Some recent news, I have finally booked a job interview! I have been applying like crazy the last few weeks to any and all jobs under the sun…cafes, bars, restaurants, etc. I was hoping my CV didn’t look too “overqualified” (or worse under-qualified) because I had been working in behavioral health the last 3 years, but I made sure to mention my outgoing personality and extensive knowledge in the customer service industry. The interview is at a cocktail bar called Revolucion de Cuba and their menu looks delicious! I bought some new trousers (also a very English word) that are high-waisted and black so I can dress “smart” which was specifically noted in the email from the assistant manager regarding interview attire. I really hope I get the job because having a little extra money is never a bad thing.

Besides that I started attending a weekly yoga class. It takes place on-campus and the instructor’s name is Paul and he is amazinggggggg! You can really tell a lot about an instructor when you enjoy the class and aren’t counting down the minutes until it’s over. The class lasts an hour and a half and Paul is excellent at assisting with postures. I joined the yoga society which gives you a discount on class prices (3 pounds per class) and the 10th class is free! Besides yoga society I also joined the feminism society with some course mates. We’ve been to one meeting so far and are looking forward to advocate for women’s & other marginalized groups’ rights on campus. The first meeting was wonderful, we went around and talked about ‘what feminism means to us’ and of about 20 of us we came up with a thorough list including my contribution about intersectionality and the need for inclusion of all marginalized groups. There were even a few men in attendance which was good to see! In addition to those societies, I volunteered and was appointed as Course Rep for my major. Meaning I’ll act as a liaison for the students in my program and attend staff meetings which will help me understand the program fully and will also look good on my CV. Did I mention I enjoy being busy?

Although I enjoy being busy I’m starting to be plagued by stressors. A stressor currently affecting me is due to switching birth control pills. I am very grateful to be able to have medical care here but for all the women out there who know – this can really mess with your head/mood. I’ve been moodier and irritable, insatiable when eating, and just feeling a bit “blah” which isn’t my normal self. For those who know me really well – I am usually super bubbly, outgoing, etc. but the last week has been tough and it most likely is a culmination of things. The weather is definitely a factor; it doesn’t rain every day like you’d think but it is always overcast and cloudy. I don’t think I’ve legitimately seen the sun for more than 5 minutes in over a week. Another factor is that I am quite a bit older than most postgrad students – everyone from the EU and England generally range in age from 21 to 23 and here I am 5-7 years older…it really shows sometimes with maturity and behavior which is starting to slowly drive me crazy. I try to empathize and remember how I was when I was 21 but the fact stands that I was an asshole at that age (which explains why I am so annoyed and frustrated with all these young kids haha). I think I’m starting to get a little homesick as well. A few of my friends went home this past weekend and it’s just a reminder that I can’t as easily jump on a train and/or my parents can’t hop on a quick flight and meet me in London because they live all the way across the Atlantic. It makes me a little sad. Luckily, I have great friends and family support no matter how far away I am. To help cope I have signed up for student counseling sessions which are held on my campus – I’d rather start sooner than later or wait until I’m really in a bad place emotionally to talk to someone so I’m hopeful this will help my mood.

All in all I am settling in and enjoying my classes! I’ve never read so many scholarly articles in my entire life and actually enjoyed them?! So I must have chosen the right major which makes me really happy! I have also been told that compared to Exeter (the other Uni I was accepted into in England) is in a very rural town in southern England and is nothing like Nottingham so I;m glad I picked the University of Notts! Last weekend some friends and I planned to have breakfast in the city center at the Kitty Café for some animal therapy but they were completely booked up so we ended up at the Southbank Bar which had the yummiest pancakes! There is a lot to do and see locally or just a train ride away so I’m enjoying exploring the city. My course mate Hannah, two roommates Tom and Max, and myself have all booked a trip to Berlin, Germany November 3-6th which is coming up quick! Max is German and has been to Berlin many times before and Hannah speaks some German as well so it will be exciting to explore the city together!

Stay tuned for an update after my job interview and for Berlin photos 😊

[magneticmaguk]

Fancy Dress is For Children, Stop Wearing it in Nightclubs

Funny, isn't it, how the fears and anxieties you develop in early childhood follow you until the day you die? Well, it's less funny than utterly, abjectly, life-ruiningly awful really, but you get the point.

The things that rationally or otherwise take you out of the blissful amniotic bubble of your first few years and thrust you unknowingly and unwittingly into the pain and horror of life after the age of about six or so don't just vanish or dissipate; they fester and rot and keep you awake night after night.

Now, I know, you're reading a dance music website rather than a peer-reviewed psychoanalytical journal, but bear with me, because I'm about to join the dots between psychosocial development and clubbing.

Ever since I can remember, and who knows what pre-remembrance memories have been repressed deep into recesses of my unconscious, I've found the concept of fancy dress parties terrifying. Part of that fear, I assume anyway, stems from a moment in time that arrives when I least expect it, broadcast in crystal clear Ultra HD. I am at a fifth birthday party, dressed as a pirate. The party is taking place at the house of a childhood friend who lived on a farm. On that farm in a barn. We are playing hide and seek and I'm hiding from the seeker in that barn. The air smells like grass and fire and broken engines and I am grasping my plastic cutlass, eyes tightly shut, heart pounding. No one has come to find me yet, and so I explore the barn, taking tentative steps into the darkness. Here in the dark, my hand rests on something. That something is, to all intents and purposes, a severed head. I am shuddering and screaming and I want to be found right this second because as soon as I am found I can ask to go home, to get out of this pirate outfit, to thrust my head under the warm water of the bath, and let this day end.

Of course it wasn't actually a body-less skull. The thing that had inspired such world-changing fear was, in fact, one of those heads that hairdressers train on. Nevertheless, over two decades on, the very thought of fancy dress sends me back to that primal encounter, an encounter which left an indelible mark on my person: I will always associate the act of dressing up with a supreme sense of terror.

Yet recently this irrational fear has mingled with the horrors of the real world. In an attempt to stand out in a market that's saturated beyond belief, promoters and venue owners have to think of innovative ways to sell their club nights. With actual innovation being quite difficult to come by, we've seen a resurgence across clubland of legitimized, actual fancy dress parties.

Now, obvious point here but dressing up is an inherent part of the clubbing experience. Even the uniform that we attach to the Oceanas of this world (the striped shirt, bootcut jeans, and school shoes look) is a means of using a wardrobe for the purpose of reinvention. Nightlife lets us pretend we really are more than our jobs, whether or not that's the case in reality, and that pretence is usually rooted in a sartorial basis. In a thousand different ways, most of us find ourselves dressing up to let our hair down, weekend after weekend.

There is, however, a massive difference between dressing up and dressing up. The italicized version is an abomination, a dullards way of disguising their own lack of, well, anything. The chances are that any party you attend after the age of say, eleven, where the majority of the room are in some form of costume, whether it's Super Mario or Mario from Big Brother 9, Jean-Claude Juncker or Jean-Claude Van Damme, will be terrible. There are a variety of reasons for that.

The first is that fancy dress is a perfect signifier is the epitome of forced fun. As soon as a nightclub has to tell you to have fun any chance of actually having fun evaporates into the air, atomising alongside the stilton-scented vape-smoke.

"YOU," these clubs and festivals scream through tannoys disguised as pineapples, buoys, or medical waste wheelie bins, "ARE GOING TO HAVE THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE."

How—you shout back over the deafening din of a Patrick Topping set and the yammer of a thousand blokes dressed as Borat howling "YEAH MATE JUST NEAR THE FRONT MATE," into their phones—how are you going to ensure that I get my money's worth from another dismal day party thrown in an unusual London location that just as usual happens to be in a convention centre with a decent sized smoking area.

"WELL," the disembodied voices yell back, "YOU'VE GOT TO LEAVE THE VENUE AND COME BACK DRESSED AS EITHER FREDDIE MERCURY, CARMEN MIRANDA, OR THE ALLEGED WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE CHEAT, MAJOR CHARLES INGRAM."

I don't want to dress up as Charles Ingram or Carmen Miranda or Freddie Mercury, and I cannot begin to imagine why anyone

would

. Surely, I reason from up here in my ivory tower, being at a festival or in a club is enough fun as it is, without needing to constantly be reminded of the FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN I'm missing out on from not donning a silly wig and a pair of cowboy boots and shooting myself in the face with tequila on Snapchat. And surely I'm right. This is fun designed by committee, fun for people who need perpetual pointers as to what fun actually is.

The rise of the fancy dress party hints at a broader sociological phenomenon that's threatening to see an entire generation obsessed with negating reality via a dismal return to an imagined childhood, a sea of people doomed to a life of shitting themselves in front of old episodes of Tracey Beaker as they run their furry tongues round the sites where their now-disintegrated teeth once where—a truly devastating descent into infantilism.

Believe it or not, there is a time where childish things need to be put away, and not just printed onto a onesie or whatever the fuck it is students wear these days. Fancy dress is one such thing. Think about it: what kind of self-respecting adult actually engages with fancy dress? It'll either be some red-faced systems analyst who likes to have his own tie stuffed down his gob by a matron at that creepy school dinners place just off Oxford Street, a bloke in a panda-suit giggling his way through Rochdale town centre en route to meet the region's five other fur-fanatics, or two lads in flares shaking a leg down the front at of Magic Door.

Each of those iterations says the same thing about the costume-wearer: I am pained by the idea of existing in the present and thus willing do anything and everything I can to return to the womb. A nightclub, with all its illusions about inclusion and warmth and communality is enough of a womb, thanks.

There is also a more serious point here, that of cultural appropriation. When elrow, for example, throw another Bollywood themed party, what do they actually want from it? Honestly, what is the intention? Is it, as I suspect they'd claim, nothing more than a harmless bit of fun, no worse than, say, wearing a string of onions and a beret or a matador's cape and a pair of castanets? A cheeky wink at the world and it's many cultural variances, all of which are allegedly ripe for repurposing as a costume for an unimaginative business studies student desperate for an excuse to do a few bumps of a Sunday afternoon in mid-summer.

Well, no, it isn't really, is it? It's rank cultural imperialism masquerading as banter, a modern update on an office joker donning an afro wig and doing his best Jim Davidson impression. The idea that having a good time, or creating a "fun loving vibe" or however else these parties sell themselves to potential media partners, is permission to run riot over cultural identities is a self-evident fallacy. How do we tally the sight of white dancers dressed "Bollywood" gear with the idea of inclusion that we so often come back to when we try and justify clubbing as anything more than an enjoyable diversion from work? We can't. There is no way to do so.

And that's the problem with fancy dress in general: in a perverse way it imbues going out with a sense of genuine importance. You might not think that as you slide into a Danny Zuko style leather jacket ahead of another day party, but it's true. You've made a financial and emotional investment that didn't need to be made. You've fallen into a trap set for you by wily promoters. You've lined their pockets yet again. Oh, and you look like a twat. Sorry.