#that musical had what an hour and a half
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im so sorry rick but the tlt musical is actually the greatest pjo adaptation ever. I said what I said
#idk just finished the pjo show and I feel a little betrayed#rick had so much hate for the movies and their inaccuracies#and basically told us we wouldnt get that for the show#but then turned around and changed EVERYTHING but basic story points#anyways yeah the musical rocks#and idk but its low budget charm somehow had more percy Jackson energy than the show ever did#that musical had what an hour and a half#hit most of the points while keeping the tone#and had grown adults playing 12 year olds#who actually managed to do well#and it was HILARIOUS#amazing fucking musical amazing adaptation ten out of ten watch it rn#yk what#send me message or ask or whatever and ill send you the link#if you want#bc i don't want the video taken down lol#Percy Jackson#percy jackson disney+#the lightning thief#tlt#tlt musical#the lightning thief musical#percy jackson movies#pjo adaptation#pjo#pjo musical
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oh I know its bad if I'm pulling out the hbomberguy plagiarism video i've watched it like 100 times already
Pre-show curse strikes again...
#hbomberguy. save me hbomb. hbomb save me...#I need noise to focus on and music isn't doing it since half my playlist is in a language I don't understand#jupiter rambles#I'm gonna be okay now I just need to calm down and get the last of my hysteria out of my system#hbomberguy#emotional support fuwas also at the ready akito is not leaving my person for the next week#But I swear to god before every show I have some sort of event that annihilates me#freshman year it was my old dog running away#sophomore year dude I don't even remember what happened I just had a massively hard time before ALL OF MY SHOWS.#And now. shitshow.#Canada lookin real fine rn..#3 hours away...
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A new ref for Lemmy, and an official design and introduction of Limmy in This Universe Has Lemons In It! Limmy was created by the Guardian of the Lemonverse (any pronouns) as an attempt to stop Lemmy from what they are doing, which is creating portals to travel through various universes and dimensions to have fun. Not only is that a risk for the balance of the universe, but GotL just dislikes this kid having fun and wants to see them stopped.
Not wanting to do it in it's own hands, it created Limmy, an angel dog meant to be an direct opposite to Lemmy. Limmy, however, doesn't do much to stop Lemmy, other than following them and bickering. Their relationship is very Tom and Jerry rivalry-esk.
(Names color coded for myself to read easier due to the similar names!)
Fun fact, Limmy was originally going to be based on limes (Lime Angel), but I kept that concept for GotL - and made them more angel-like instead.
#GotL as he has been named for the time being uses any pronouns but it/he are the most used just saying#also this little story/oc universe has been planned for a while so i find it funny that GotL has basically the same motivations#miguel in across the spiderverse minus the trauma and more godly power#i just always had an fascination with like...the idea of the universe...multiverses...different dimensions and traveling across them#ive included this in most if not all my oc projects like this actually! at first mostly inspired by gravity falls#which is literally my favorite cartoon ever#i am watching a 2 and a half long video on the timeline rn its so good please watch it its by hana hyperfixates. while working on this i#watched their first 2 hour long gravity falls video. literally newest favorite video essay project? its very good it talks about queerness#in gravity falls and its their passion project and its so obvious there was a lot of effort put into it. anyways away from my tangent i go#'lemmy' put my actual tags here#oc art#character design#oc ref#ref#tuhlii#this universe has lemons in it#lemon demon#UNSURE again if i wanna use '-core' tags on this. i dont like using them much anymore and im only gonna use 'weirdcore' for some kind of#music bc theres no specifics to what type of music i exactly like that lemmy is also based on aside from lemon demon of course#[Lemmy]#[Limmy]#guz art#[2023]#fun fact! i spent like 20+ or so minutes stressing over GotL's possible name until i settled on this goofy title!#its meant to found goofy. like at first you think its gonna sound cool and then youre hit with 'lemonverse'#which it...technically is! where lemmy is from it's like... a connected bunch of worlds and universes and just places all based on#lemon demon songs and other content. tuhlii is basically a love letter to ena + lemon demon + old/childhood internet ?
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whshdfhfjf.,,,
#close up!! because i firstly Did Not render them with such insanity in order for tumblr's lack of general resolution to make it blur#look at all the lines!!! teehee i still really really like this style of digital painting it's super super fun to do!!! and also secondly#because i went back and added a tag ramble and as i seem to often be doing??? lately?? reached the 30 tag limit and went 'hm ok how else..'#anyway the tag essay on that one is now up and talks about the artwork generally and miscellaneous thoughts!! that said. i need a space to#ramble about beatrix at Length because look you don't draw and paint etc a character for like ten hours without having a lot of thoughts#anyways ! i digress terrifically. tag rambles are more like trains of thoughts masquerading as subways and you get on and it's unfortunately#a rollercoaster track. but this is My Blog and i can do Whatever I Want as long as i don't hurt anyone <- affirmations!! also Harm Principle#lately it's been like *kicks up feet* *opens tumblr tags* *treats it as own personal journal* and tbh Good for me!! anyways back to beatrix#fun fact ! the thing that pushed me over the edge to go watch the musical after looking through the tumblr tag was a very specific poll.#and the fact that the winning option was blue hair and pronouns made me double over laughing so hard i had to go see the source material#mm i feel like lately the academic Context has been tossing me essentially into a blender HAHA ;-; so everyone in adamandi is to some extent#a Mood. but bea-specific (haha be specific)(sorry!)(wow this is the same reaction mechanism of my friend who points out innuendos)(...)#i think it's the wanting to prove herself. like from the whole abuela etc thing there's proof here she's got a Stable Support System of sort#and instead what beatrix continues to do is push themselves. 'i guess u could say i'm married to my work? god that's depressing' // no one#here to enforce that // abuela tells me to rest says i'm constantly stressed and i'll just get depressed like before but i still have to try#like. that shred of desperation that pushes you to the brink to neglect yourself (well i guess physically but also your morals..) and like!!#the whole 'lose half your soul thing' proves she's self aware!! like they know what they're doing is super dubious yknow! but they're still#they're still doing it even if it goes into conflict with their morality system in a way and then they justify it to themselves (see pt 1#of ghostwriter) and the whole wanting to achieve at all costs Despite the self awareness. (i think? this aspect also applied to quincy. but#thoughts on him will come later). more beatrix specific also is the fact that they genuinely adore their work.. 'i just love it here where#you know they'll be printing forever and you are just part of it' because that does kind of resonate with me. also the being behind in the#competition is real!!! i'm maybe talking about Art as a subject because that same drive for it exists on my good days i think. even#even when nothing seems to be going right and you've ended up at the back the intent passion inherent in what you do is still there!!!#the genuine. care she has for reporting. is so !!!!! to me... other beatrix thoughts include 'why reveal yourself at the end' aka vincent's#'u should have stayed silent u had a smart plan' like rip to them but i would not // it feels with bea's complex character i can't imagine h#her Not doing that. like the guilt is real i guess. and i am running out of tags but! smth also about her fervent hope or smth that she'll#eventually get to where she wants. and the resilient determination.. 'i won't let their deaths be pointless there's more good i'm gonna do'#they're so so real for that. i'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing; seeing myself reflected in aspects of characters like this.. but it's#it's there regardless. smth smth just make your peace with the person you are ig!! tldr beatrix campbell my beloved. hehe#adamandi
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do i really want to make individual drinks again
#reaching back into the file cabinets of my mind to remember how i made certain drinks when i worked at the cafe#in preparation for the possibility of this new job#it would certainly mean far less goofing off time than i have at my current job. and i value my goofing off time dearly#but the people here are so fucking annoying lmao. i hate them soooo much#not that the people at this new job would be any better. we're still dealing with investment bankers#godddddd. what i really would want (which would be impossible)#would be to go back to working at the cafe but like. still have paid time off and insurance lmao#but the cafe was a small business and he was not offering paid time off and insurance. and the pay was way less#but i did get to play whatever music i wanted. unfortunately you cant live on that#like i can always say no to this new job if its offered to me. but is my goofing off time worth:#2 dollars less in pay and a half hour to an hour's more commute. well i dont know#a shorter commute would mean i could sleep more. and have more time at home .#i mean i probably don't Need all this goofing off time. but its nice#i dont knowwwwwww#like even though im a bit nervous abt doing it again i know that i would easily fall back into the routine of making drinks#which i was fairly good at. my one drawback is that i cant do latte art but i dont know that theyd really care here#and (because i found the menu of where id work) theres not a ton of drink options?? just the standard stuff#its being called a starbucks cafe but 1) its not managed by them and 2) it does not have their 5 billion drink options#so thats good. less to worry about#doesnt look like i even have to make anything foodwise which i had to at the cafe#here it looks like people can just buy a pastry and thats it#the hours are like. the same i work now. also good#sorry im like using this post to think through my thoughts.#uhhhh oh i looked up the manager who looks like a weenie so im not keen on the prospect of interviewing with him#but i probably would have thought that about my current manager if id seen a pic of him prior to interviewing. i guess???#and with these kind of catering units it seems you dont often deal directly with the manager that much anyway#i just gotta see if i get good vibes#rn i have unsure vibes. but i need a sign to see if this could be good for me#oh id also save money on transportation. and taxes! bc i wouldnt be working in ny anymore#lol oops tag limit. well i hope you enjoyed my job thoughts you probably didnt i know i didnt
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I see a lot of people have made covers of the snippet of Everybody's Waiting (the new JO track)
I may do it too but at the same time I am hesitant given that I am 90% sure they won't see it (since everything else I'd ever made have never been noticed by them - Bojan's big share yesterday included) and if by chance it is getting seen I am not sure how I'd feel having the first thing noticed by them be just another cover
I am probably overthinking things again
#so here's the t in the tags (aka me ranting)#I have not felt great about my art or my contribution to the joker out and käärijä fandom recently#I have honestly felt like an art block is coming#the few things I have been able to create just doesn't feel good to me#and I don't get the same satisfaction of sharing it either#Ik I should be grateful for whatever faves and views it gets but I cannot help but feel underappreciated#which in turn doesn't make me feel motivated to make more#the last few days I have actually been more drawn to playing my guitar and writing songs than creating artwork#so that is what I've been doing#in that regard creating a little cover would maybe be fun#and yet I fear I'd fall into the same trap as with the art#that now I might make something to share with the fandom it has stakes#and in the end the stakes will be too high since I cannot help but compare what I make#and so I will lose interest in making music as well#honestly I feel kind of lost#I have had days I just stop working for half an hour to several hours#falling down an unproductive rabbit hole where I just stare out into the blue or at a youtube video#I don't want to be here#I want to love what I do and love sharing it with you again#but after a pretty productive and somewhat decent january#I now feel meh about it all#thank you for reading my tag novel#I will go now#micahs thoughts#micahs foolery
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i havent been to the gym since i moved out & i wanna get active again but fr -_- i feel like everything is too much faff, too expensive or something that will bore me to tearssssss
#egg.txt#i was like ok before i go sign up to a new place i'll do the chloe ting workouts just to get a routine back in#my god . i have never wanted to sob more from just being so understimulated in my life#but theyre all the SAAAAAME. IM GOING TOKILLMYSELFFFFF.#and the stupid music makes me want to put knives in my fucking ears#i'd gym again but i just couldnt keep waking up at 5am i wasnt getting sleep & half the time i wasnt even able to get a good work out in#like it would be 30mins max of actual exercise and then like#+ so much more time just getting there and it was wrecking everything else in my schedule#it sounds so dumb but even shit like having to drop my bagg off & pick it up every day meant i had to get later buses (& more)#and it would mean just losing hours in total at that point. for what. for a 30 min workout. when i wasnt making any progress with anyway bc#i was getting no sleep? 😭#i wanted ot try running outside again but ugh not to be a baby but people have been harassing me in the street so much more again and i jus#cant fucking do it broooo#and im too shy for most classes . the other stuff is crazy expensive . im going to start gnawing on something for real#i was thinking abt bouldering but it looks so crazy fucking expensive#its rlly a shame bc i did rlly start to get into running too. i could get a treadmill but idek where to put it rn and it feels crazy#to get one when i dont even have a couch... ehrm
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#today is essentially my first day driving combine this year since my 'first day' was only like an hour and a half long almost two weeks ago#but of course my first day we're harvesting the field that was the last one we did last year 'care free'#one year ago today was the last time i saw my sister#and tomorrow will be one year since we harvested this field and afterwards we went home for dinner#and while refueling equipment after dinner my brother in law went to see if my sister felt up to running grain cart for us that evening#and he found out she wasnt home and nobody had heard from her all day#so that was the evening of the 16th and we didnt find her until the morning of the 18th#it was probably somewhere around noon on the 16th when she killed herself#and it just wrecks me cause i can remember exactly what i was doing that whole day#like someone here sent me an ask about whumpy music so i spent hours that day compiling a playlist to share here#and i was talking with a friend (in a group chat that consisited of me my sister and our friend) about their zucchini harvest#and another discord server i was gushing about it being the new moon in a Blue Moon month plus the persied meteor shower#and the whole time i had no idea my world had already shattered without me knowing#it makes me hate this field and i hate that even with the way we rotate crops every year it still came up ready this week#probably would've been worse if it came up on the 16th again but it's not much better being on the 15th
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there's a certain quality the harmonies of like... early to mid 2000s alt rock has. which i am obsessed with... like i wanna do that. i NEED to figure out how to write harmonies that sound like that
#ari opinion hour#i sort of understand it but not necessarily well enough to do it on command#i think i sort of achieved the sound of it with my blaseball winter exchange song i did for snow but specifically only in the very last bit#like only with the 'im not alive anymore' part#(which sidenote i wish id had the second half faster + w more drive but its not like that was like a full recording which i could do)#i think i just need my music to have more teeth in general cause it scratches an itch that i think i must have developed due to some aspect#of music school. its probably my dissatisfaction with the attitudes in the classical world#<- which understand i say that in the same way that like my jazz prof does. the classical world doesnt have enough teeth nor enough#understanding of the way in which music is like. another art. and art needs to be able to have teeth and use elements normally regarded as#''undesirable'' on purpose because art is there to make you feel emotions and not just the positive ones and not just sadness or anger in#terms of the negative ones#art is there to make u feel ALL extant emotions and that includes boredom disgust fear jealousy pity cowardice apathy overwhelmedness etc#also the classical world i find often forgets what the word ''play'' means#i am of the opinion that perfection is a waste of time if i wanted perfect i'd ask a computer to do it for me. i want real#anyway. i forgot what this post was even about lol point is i need to figure out how to write harmonies that have that soaring quality that#like. you can hear it in like helena by mcr and wake me up by evanescence and stuff. and frankly most of the songs on three cheers for swee#revenge which i am listening to now for the first time. i need to learn more about this stuff maybe ill listen to the evanescence album tha#song is from next.#or something i should really be working on my essay but theres no way i wont have it done in time which is good i think i just mostly have#to worry about sources and stuff but even that should be relatively easy i think
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listened to the obcr Voices In My Head over confirming there's that like half step up of the "made" in "me and the voices in my head have made up our collective mind" that makes it a line that comes to mind & loops there & gets sung to myself often enough, but then was freshly appreciating what's going on instrumentally behind jeremy singing the "(then make up) my own mind" of the chorus which i'm not even sure what it is, but the effect is striking, initially i was like is there an eighth note in the vocals there vs all quarter notes? b/c like noting that jeremy's pitch/steps go up, Up, down vs the instrumentation going [same starting pitch] down, down, but that there's Something going on rhythmically so that the instruments kind of happen "behind" / not exactly On jeremy's, and then i was like is it also just that jeremy is also singing evenly in quarter notes but the notes being played instrumentally are like just slightly barely After his, though following the same rhythm, like, an eighth note behind, fuck it a demisemiquaver behind. anyways it pwns & the end of the song getting me all hype of course like argh The Energy fr
#bmc#also maybe jeremy sings like eighth note My quarter notes Own Mind the first time & all quarter notes the second time....#you'd think it'd be obvious & maybe it is. i'm able to acknowledge this isn't; wait for it; my forte#accurate enough that after years of saying ''no i can't read music'' it occurred to me maybe depending i should've been saying yes?#like Yes i'd been forced to practice piano half hour every weekday for years. pretty beloathed & just wasn't really coming to me anyways.#Yes i understand what just about anything making up this Musical Notation indicates if that's what is meant#no i can't Read it & be like ah i can form the song in my head via this. but is that what's being asked in all contexts? maybe not#sort of a helpful guide for when i quickly memorize the tenor part of a song i probably already know / will also quickly learn#so yeah that In Between. same as ''yes i practiced piano for several years no i can't accompany you or even easily learn a song''#no relistened i believe jeremy sings it evenly Quarter Note Quarter Note Quarter Note My Own Mind both times#which sounds great. like i don't know if you made it eighth note & then a. quarter plus an eighth note. is there really no better term?#dotted quarter note? smh. anyway & then had That also go up a step lmao like you could do that it'd be fine#but the half step up in Made Up Our Collective Mind....effervescent. whereas the like Steady Emphasis of the chorus....#both fitting & feels like part of the Effect i'm getting. the percussion there even just getting to go Beat Beat Beat. Yes#god thinking of the hello kitty shoes. sweeping up will roland spinning him around for even simply that Thanks Understander
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i need to get more into filipino music please does anyone have any recs
#we're going through another im ''''not filipino enough'''' phase. whatever that means.#i'm so disconnected to being filipino that it sometimes feels like a deep physical ache#(for context i grew up in a completely white town that had so few people of color for most of my time there)#(and then i went to an online school for most of college where we didn't . like. make friends.)#the issue with wanting to learn more about filipino culture tho is that i'm afraid that i'll be invading people's spaces#or be appropriating the culture which ???? brain what.#(i am only half filipino my mom is white but i've got a complicated relationship with calling myself half filipino or mixed tbh)#(i'm trying to sort it out but it's hard. it's hard!! ok!!!)#my filipino family lives about 13 hours away and we haven't seen them since um...my cousins cotillion in like 2021?#sorry i'm having a moment i'm having a night does anyone have any music recs from filipino artists#i'll try anything tbh#i actually did a final paper on the evolution of filipino music so this is slightly embarrassing but asldkfjsdkjf its. fine!#this is embarrassing i'm gonna queue it#not pjo#chitter chatter
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i fear we've entered one of those eras where i wish i could draw . AND DONT HIT ME WITH THE "but you can" NO WELL LIKE YES A BIT but like . the visions In My Head have not been translating well to the ipad for the past few weeks . so its like i cant draw anymore . Do you understand
#it'll pass it does that every now and then#is that what art block is?? i dont think so cause like i still have a Bunch of ideas so ???#i dont think ive ever had art block at least not the way people describe it#like i have so many wips and also so little drawing stamina that like . i can't really run out of ideas yknow. i just run out of motivatio#no but genuinely my drawing stamina is actually fuckin pathetic like i can't sit down and draw for more than. 1 hour? hour & a half? at onc#i have to break it off in chunks#also have to have some kind of music or VOD playing in the background otherwise the stamina decreases to like . half an hour#part of the reason why im not attempting any art schools (also cause i dont like being told what 2 draw...) . like i'd just Die#also i dont really think i'd get in any so that's a problem im glad im not having#alex.rambles.txt
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its time for yet another brain game of am i like fully neurotic or was this genuinely not a cool situation . prize is jack shite and yet im playing anyways👍
#j.txt#vent#just like. to preface. im not bringing any of this up im just going to stew in it for the night and then move on as per usual#alright disclaimer made now i can get to the point. So. tonight is my close irl friends bday right but she didnt tell me about any plans#so i naturally assumed she was gonna do her own thing and not really celebrate. Ive had work all day and while working get a text frm her#asking if we want to go to this restaurant i introduced our group to for dinner. so i respond saying oh im off at this time if yall want to#go even tho its late i can. Never get a response so i assume theyll bring it up when i get back. get home and no ones here not a word abt#whats going on. i do my usual unwinding get ready to chill etc which takes abt half an hour. she comes back with our other mutual friends#and theyve already gone to the restaurant which is fine i get it. but they get back and say oh now we're going to this themed music night at#a club we've all been to before as soon as (other friend) changes. and then just. dont offer for me to come along or anything and leave.#which like. whatever its happened a hundred times before im used to it but Still. does it not even occur that I might want to participate??#if i had Any notice that this was happening I could have been getting ready instead of slacking around waiting for someone to get home#its so. i try extrememly hard not to be a downer or just invite myself to things bc I Know this is how they all operate but it does still#sting that it feels like im not even thought of if i dont happen to be in the room when plans are being made lol.#and obv I am Not bringing this up rn and ruining what im sure was a really fun night for all of them#its just truly a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation yknow. but such are the whims of fate and i shall endure as always✌️
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whats tough about like. Having Chemistry and spending time with someone at the start of the spring semester is that valentines day is coming up and its like a make or break point with what you may or may not Be and you have to question what direction things are headed in and its a pressure just Not present in the fall semester idk. idk
#we uhhhh. kinda hit a bump in the road ...... idk.#hes. been very gentle and kind and understanding about where im coming from and so we havent talked in a couple days but just ....#god ok fuck it. we were hanging out saturday night and at some point we were going somewhere where parking sucked so i just suggested we go#in his car rather than separate bc finding parking for ONE car is a Struggle. anyways so afterwards we went back to where i parked my car#and i hahahhaaaaa was NOT leaving. it was just past midnight and so we were just hanging in his car talking for abt an hour#in there at some point i told him about that last crush and how it dragged on and he was like jesus CHRIST sia thats a lot#i was reclined in my seat and shutting my eyes listening to the music and i caught him looking at me a couple times andddddd uh#yeah basically i ended up in his lap and then we were kissing and touching and grinding for like the next hour and a half#and he asked if i wanted to go back to my place and i was like uhhhhhhhhhhhh not now so we stayed in there and just made out & talked more#and then he TOLD me. basically hes in a similar situation i was in this time last year. like a girl he liked and was talking to actually#has a bf. hes sorta in limbo and she still talks to bim and is stringing him along and playing off his hopes theyll get together for.#entertainment ig. everyone at this school is fantastic btw. jesus fucking christ.#so yeah he told me bc he said he didnt wanna hurt me or end up fucking me over and that i deserved full honesty and didnt want to get my#hopes up. which i REALLY appreciate. we talked for 8 days he got carried away once and immediately owned up. i do appreciate that#so like. he said that we can just be friends with or without benefits and i said id think about it. then at like 3 am we went home and he#check in with me to make sure i was alright since he could tell i had a LOT on my mind. i said id call him the next day and so we talked#and basically i explained the reason for my apprehensions and why i said no to hooking up (csa) and he was really understanding#and then like. i just asked him more about what was going through his head the night before & he described it as a heat of the moment thing#(which i agree it was) and like. he was genuinely concerned about me tho. idk#i told him that after i got home i had to shower for an hour scrubbyat every place he touched me and that im tired of feeling used#and he really heard me out and listened. he also asked if he hurt me and i said no but it def could have gotten to that point and i#and so he said 'im sorry for making your life at all hafrder to deal with' and i REALLY really#appreciate him being as honest as he was. so i said its cool we can be friends but i just need some space rn & he once again was really#understanding & said 'for as long as you need. just let me know whenever youre ready to just be friends again & if you need me to stay sway#from [xyz places we hung out] just let me know and if you need anything for class just feel free to reach out'#and. GOD i appreciate him. so that convo closed out on good terms. i was worried id need WEEKS but it rlly was just a few hours after that#i was ok again. traumas all about narratives and before that convo all i could see was another instance i was usee but like.#after actually talking it out all the fear around it dissipated and i can just see it for what it was: 2 friends who got carried away#but i really REALLY appreciate how hes handled this and we're both single & attracted to each other and so the question im thinking now is:#crushposting
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gods listening to music of artists that i've gone and seen in concert/at raves and just like. reliving the euphoria of the moment when i was there at the live performance like. obviously sitting at my desk with my headphones is not the same as being at a rave or concert but i can kind of capture some of the memory and those good feels are just smth else
#blog post#tw ahead im gonna go on about some dark shit#kind of? idk#like so when i was younger and struggling#by which i mean when i was suicidal from ages 9-18#one thing i tried when i was 15-18 was making a bucket list and essentially it was stuff i wanted to do before i died because saying#'im at least gonna live to do these things' was SO much easier than saying 'im gonna live the rest of my life' back then#and on that list was going to several concerts (all of which i've done now!!) and like tbh i had my doubts like is a concert good enough#to keep living for (yes) and like what happens after i see these bands in concert (i wait for them to tour again and see them again duh)#(and also see other bands)#and i wish i could go back in time to past us and be like. u were so right. seeing these groups/artists in concert (and the ones i like now#and hadn't heard of back then) is SOO worth it#im so glad i have been alive to go to all the concerts and the rave that i went to in the past year and a half it was so so good#and im so fuckin excited to go to more#there's at least two concerts im planning on going to this spring plus a rave im considering going to (its a three hour drive one way so#idk yet) plus our top favorite band for years is hinting at releasing new music which means a tour!!#im just gettin the feels because im remembering good memories and so fuckin excited to make more good memories#im so glad im alive and honestly that brings tears to my eyes that i can say that totally honestly now#like. i have a cat! i am reconnecting with family i didnt use to be close with! im working on cutting off toxic family! im working on#health issues which is very good. im out as queer and im so happy and proud of that. i have several hyperfixations i love consuming and#cosplaying. cosplaying!! i have so much fun making tiktoks and going to cons and putting everything together its so great!! im starting to#work on my big huge writing project with my coauthors for the first time in years and im soooo excited to revive that old hyperfixation and#share it!! i have an awesome partner who i care very much about and while i recently cut off some toxic friends i have plenty actual#friends that im so glad to have!!#im currently at a job that pays well and that i enjoy which is a win for me and i might possibly be in a position to go back to college#soon which means going into my preferred field which im SO stoked for!! and im actually really excited to go back to college. when we were#in person i had such a great experience and i cant wait to go back#ough
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Ok I'm nice now (lying)
#speculation nation#finished the cold things finished the cream and it has died down#now i have to shift into closing mode mentality#and what do you know 2 shots latte kinda has some caffeine in it#so im keyed up and Really would love to listen to some metal rn#but instead we got some. idfk. kpop? jpop? sounds like both. idk the employee has the aux#which im normally fine with but the peppy music is just grating on me more#i Want to be nice. i want to be soooo nice. unfortunately i want to bite things.#it's. fine. it's Fine. i'll get through it.#i just wish i had a more experienced employee rn so that i could be doing the things i need to w/o flipping back n forth#between making drinks & doing the things#at least i have tomorrow off. at least i have tomorrow off. just need to get thru today and then i have tomorrow off.#ughhhhhhhhhHHHH#& just now a delivery driver touched my hand while i handed an order over and i do NOT. WANT THAT RN........#negative/#yea sure im bitching enough#just. just need to get thru the next hour and a half#bc even if it takes forever to close at least then i can listen to angry music. for my fucking sanity.
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