#that might be enough to bring me back
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i miss the warmth of the sun
#i hate the cold#plus i don’t feel 100%#plus it might snow tomorrow#i’ve had enough#bring back the sun#me#selfie#brown eyes
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Sanji and Usopp during The Sabaody Incident™ won't leave my mind.
Usopp standing in front of Sanji protectively because he is wounded and he can't fight, so Usopp will do it for him ("I'll do what you can't do").
There is just something about Sanji's expression when he realizes he might actually lose Usopp. This is my interpretation, at least. He is literally frightened.
Usopp helping Sanji stand up to run away. This is crucial for something I want to point out later: Sanji needs help to stand up. (Also, Brook disappears trying to protect them both and saying he will do anything to save them even if it costs him his life. I am feeling sick).
Sanji being self-sacrificing and blaming himself for not being able to protect them/act sooner is not new. But he does manage to gain the strength to fight when Usopp is the only one left with him and the possibility of losing him is even more real now.
The thing that I love the most about this is not Sanji sacrificing himself for Usopp, because he does that. He is like that. But Usopp not running away or moving in the slightest because he refuses to leave Sanji on his own.
Something I'd like to point out too is that Sanji actually touches Kuma before Usopp disappears. He tries to fight and protect him and Kuma could've easily sent Sanji to Momoiro Island right away, and yet Sanji was just sent flying far from the scene and forced to see Usopp disappear in front of him.
And I am not saying that "not being able to protect both Brook and Usopp (especially Usopp) is needed for Sanji to realize he has to become stronger and find more reasons to go back with the crew" but not being able to protect both Brook and Usopp (especially Usopp) is needed for Sanji to realize he has to become stronger and find more reasons to go back with the crew.
Not to mention that we can't deny (right after Water 7/Enies Lobby) that Usopp is one of Sanji's strongest bonds within the crew. This specific scene focusing on them both is more than enough to prove it.
Sanji seeing Usopp disappear in front of his eyes without being able to do anything to save him.
Remember what I said about Sanji needing help to stand up seconds ago? Well. This is him the moment Usopp disappears. What adrenaline and the power of love do to a mf.
They are so "I can lose everything, but not you. Oh God, not you" shaped.
#sorry for bringing up sabaody i am sure nobody wants to think about it#but they mean the world to me and there is SO MUCH to unpack#we don't talk enough about this i think ?????#sanji spending two whole years having nightmares about not being able to save usopp. about seeing usopp disappearing in front of him#he still has them btw#sanji having to sleep with usopp post-ts because he is afraid of waking up and seeing he is gone#also i am having thoughts about brook protecting them and#and brook saying he will do anything to save them#because sanji has only heard that from zeff so......... so just thinking. i have thoughts. i told you brook is one of sanji's father figure#back to sanuso- thinking about how this whole scene despite having brook too is mainly focused on both sanji and usopp#thinking abt how the others disappear mostly focusing only on luffy's reactions but this emphasizes a lot sanji's attempts to save usopp#why would you give them a whole scene i am throwing up#sorry still thinking abt sanji apologizing to usopp for not being able to protect him or#or having nightmares he definitely has nightmares about it#and usopp just. staying with him and making him see that he is alright now. and letting him cry.#early post-ts kills me#still angry we don't have almost post-ts sanuso#i might start crying thinking abt them so it'll be better if just shut up and post this#one piece#black leg sanji#usopp#sanuso#sabaody
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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I need advice.
I’m a white intern working in a mostly white southern(ish) high school. Students of Color number at under 2%, perhaps even lower. It’s a very white, rural community - I grew up in a fairly mixed, suburban northern community, and part of my family is Black.
Several of my white students say rude things to my Students of Color. I’ve told them to knock it off *as appropriately as I can* but I’m probably one of the few adults that actively discourage that behavior.
I don’t want to let this shit fly under the radar, but I also know that if an adult of authority *who will only be here for a couple more weeks* interferes, and then doesn’t stick around, it could make things worse. Additionally, I know these kids are probably very very very used to this ‘system’ and that making a short-term change could be more harmful than helpful.
I asked one of my senior students after a very racist incident *where she was laughing along with the perpetrator but I told him to stop anyway* that I can move him, or her, so she could be more comfortable (admin either does nothing or slaps wrists, especially for seniors). She said it was fine and that he was always like that.
I must emphasize, I think they were bantering (they talk so much I think they consider each other friends?), but it was also wayyy fucking out of line, especially in a school setting. And the guy says so much out of line shit I’m surprised he isn’t rocking a full set of dentures to replace the teeth he ought to have lost by now.
Another student took me up on my offer to move people, but I ended up moving him, which sucks because he was the victim in this situation. Unfortunately, I have to keep his aggressors in their spots, as they are highly rowdy in all the ways and require a lot more supervision than he did. And the class is really full. These were also all freshmen, so I wouldn’t be surprised if that affected the victim’s reaction.
So I’d really appreciate advice as to whether I should let it be, or continue as is, or step it up even more, from People of Color in largely white, especially rural, communities. Like any advice from current or previous educators, especially Educators of Color would be appreciated, but specifically southern/rural ones would be wonderful. I’m going to talk to my family members about it, but they’ve lived in more Northern settings their entire lives and they may have less … applicable (?) experience to the situation.
Again, I’m an intern, I’m going to only be there until winter break 2024, and I don’t want to fuck things up for these kids in the long run with my northern ally ‘sensibilities’. Thank you!
#education#help#advice#educators of color#students of color#academia#slightly more context: the senior was a Black girl. there are not a lot of Black students but there’s multiple of them from different#families (though I also tutor her little brother). so she may have community to fall back upon and that might feel like enough for her#the freshman boy is mixed Asian and as far as I can tell is the only Asian kid currently in this high school#since we’re in Appalachia of course a lot of people say shit like ‘my great grandmother was Cherokee’ (apologies to the Cherokee community#but I’m quoting these people) but some of my students are much more tan and experience a bit of colorism. again I try to shut that down but#idk how far to take it. the one girl who is definitely Indigenous (I’m not going to specify further because it’s a small community) doesn’t#seem to be treated negatively for it and seems quite proud so I’m glad for her#but she also passes as one of the tan students so idk if she’s just comfortable bringing it up around me and it doesn’t come up near#racist students or what.#more context I forgot to bring up: I’m pretty sure most if not all of the Black students are mixed or have mixed parents. so they may#have white family members that make this system of poor treatment seem okay? or white family members#who help compensate for the racist people in the community?#I really don’t fucking know and I really don’t want to make things worse for anyone#getting ‘aggressive’ protection from a student intern may NOT be helpful#idk#thank you for reading this far
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New Year's Greetings from Ze
Dear People!
Behind me stands Mother Ukraine. Ukraine that stands firmly on its feet, does not bow its head, looks ahead, believes in its future and victory over all the evil that Russia has brought us. Ukraine that is capable of achieving a just peace – having a shield and a sword. Defending its people, its colors, its Independence. Today I address all those who value Ukraine, cherish their state, and lovingly call it “Mine.” I thank you for 2024. Our people who endure all difficulties with dignity. People for whom being citizens of Ukraine is a source of pride. And for me, it is a pride to be the President of such people – Ukrainians who prove that no cruise missile can defeat a nation that has wings.
Throughout this leap year, we have proven it every day. And we saw it yesterday. When we were uplifted with happiness because 189 Ukrainians returned from captivity to their native land. Because they will celebrate the New Year at home. Because we are bringing our people back. 1,358 people this year. 3,956 Ukrainians during this time. And I’m giving not estimates but precise numbers, because each one represents a person, our person, a very important person. And with each return – we bring life back to Ukraine.
And every time this happens, we all cry. It doesn’t matter if it’s a moved mother, or it’s a child who finally has their father back, or the President of Ukraine – we all cry because we are all human, and we have kept the light within us.
And it helped us endure through over 1,000 days. To be brave when it was needed most. To be strong when it was so vital. As did our teachers, our medics, our power engineers, our transport workers, as did all our air defense personnel, mobile fire groups. The guys who brought down 1,310 cruise and ballistic missiles this year, and 7800 Iranian “Shahed” drones. Bravo! We are proud! Thank you! We lived through this year together. We overcame everything 2024 brought together. Victories and setbacks. Joys and challenges. Tears of happiness when we succeeded. And tears of pain when our hearts were wounded.
July. Morning. Okhmatdyt. That’s how weaklings and cowards strike. And we will never forget those children’s eyes. We will never forgive them for this! When evil brings death, our response is a human chain. This is what the strength of Ukrainians looks like. And that unity of ours could be seen from space. God saw it. He saw what kind of people we have. What kind of children we have. And I will never forget those incredibly mature and strong eyes of the boy from Okhmatdyt. How much life is in him, energy and dignity! And how much stronger this child alone is than Putin! How much stronger all our children are than their entire evil. Ukrainian boys and girls who are winning this war, gaining knowledge online and even in underground schools, winning global science competitions, raising funds for our army, and inventing technological solutions that help with our defense. You are a phenomenal generation! This is who we are fighting for. This is who our heroes, our warriors, protect above all. Those who stand firm and carry Independence on their shoulders. Where freedom and valor fight every day – even now, on this New Year's night. On all our fronts. On all of them. In the east, where it’s extremely, extremely difficult and challenging right now. But we believe, we know: you will stand strong. Our guys will stand strong. Your spirit and courage will stand strong. All the things that helped you not to surrender our Sumy and Kharkiv, our Kherson and our Zaporizhzhia this year. And the Russians wanted it so badly. But instead – you paid the occupiers back, bringing the war back home to Russia. And the one who sowed evil on our land received it on their own. In the Kursk region and in other places where our response, our justice, came this year.
Justice. Just one word, but behind it stand hundreds of thousands of our people. Our defense industry and our science. Whose minds and work have made us stronger, because 30% of everything our guys had on the battlefield this year – all this was made in Ukraine.
And at one of these facilities, I asked a young engineer: "How did you manage to achieve so much? How were these people able to do all of this?" And the young man joked: "They're not just people, they're missiles."
And you know, at that moment, I felt ashamed as a citizen that since the 90s, the state hadn’t noticed such people of ours. And I am proud, when meeting them throughout the year I hear: they are happy to be needed by Ukraine. And that Ukraine is once again building its own, its own missiles. And for the first time, it produces over a million drones in a year. Forcing the enemy to learn Ukrainian. Palianytsia, Peklo, Ruta. Making them tremble at the words Neptune and Sapsan. All these are our missiles. Ukrainian. Hor, Vampire, Kolibri, Kamik, Liutyi, Heavy Shot, Firepoint. All these are our drones. Ukrainian. And all these are our arguments, the arguments for a just peace.
It is achieved only by the strong. And we have proven time and again that we are strong. Our athletes. Oleksandr Khyzhniak, our Tank. Olga Kharlan, Yaroslava Mahuchikh, all our Olympians and Paralympians, for whom we cheered, worried, and screamed with joy and pride when the blue and yellow flag was raised. We took the hits and fought back alongside Oleksandr Usyk. All of this is about something bigger than just sports. It’s about our character. It’s about who we are and what we are capable of. It’s about meanings and symbols. It’s about Sashko’s fights, like Ukraine’s daily battles, showing us: it doesn't matter how much bigger the enemy is compared to you, what matters is how much bigger your will is. Then it takes the breath away of the whole world! And all the leaders told me frankly: "We've never seen anything like this – when a full hall of Notre-Dame de Paris is applauding." And those were applause for you. For all our people. This is what respect for Ukraine sounds like. This is what Independence is.
It’s when we don’t give up what’s ours. And when we don’t forget our people. Those who are in captivity. And we will fight for every person who, unfortunately, is still there. And we will fight for all those whom Russia has forced into occupation; but couldn’t occupy their Ukrainian hearts. And no matter how many passports evil hands out at gunpoint, our people say: "You are not our kin, you are temporary." And all those imposed weeds will not take root on our land, will not defeat the natives. I always recall the story about one of our Ukrainian elderly men, whom the occupiers asked: "What time is it?" And he answered: "Time to get off our land." This is what the inner will is, which simply cannot be occupied. And I turn to all those who carry this will in their hearts on the temporarily occupied territories. Dear Ukrainians! I know you are celebrating the New Year according to our time, and now you hear these words. In our Crimea, in Donbas, in Melitopol, in Mariupol – everywhere where Ukraine is awaited. And where, one day, Ukraine will return to be together. And the only thing that will divide Ukrainians is a generously laid table.
I know that all our people will be at this table. Those who are now abroad but have kept Ukraine in their hearts. So today, in the first minute of the New Year, in Warsaw, New York, or Buenos Aires, "Shche ne vmerla…" will sound. In Berlin, Prague or Tokyo, people will say today: “Glory to Ukraine!” And the world will respond: “Glory to the Heroes!” Because Ukraine is not alone. Because we have our friends with us. Since the first minutes of this war, America has stood with Ukraine. I believe that America will also stand with Ukraine in the first minutes of peace.
I remember my conversation with Joe Biden after the Russian invasion. I remember my conversation with Donald Trump after he was elected. All the conversations with Congressmen, Senators, ordinary Americans, with all those who support us in the US, in Europe, and around the world – in those many and varied conversations, there was always unity on the main point: Putin cannot win. Ukraine will prevail.
I thank all Americans for proving these words with deeds. I have no doubt that the new American President is willing and capable of achieving peace and ending Putin’s aggression. He understands that the first is impossible without the second. Because this is not a street fight where you have to calm down both sides. This is the full-scale aggression of a mad state against a civilized one. And I believe that we, together with the United States, are capable of exerting that force. Of compelling Russia into a just peace. That means not forgetting, and not erasing everything Russia has done. Bucha, Olenivka, Avdiivka, all our destroyed towns and villages. This is why a truly just peace cannot be based on the principle of “let’s start with a clean slate.” Because the score is not 0:0. The score is thousands, thousands of Ukrainians whose lives Russia has stolen.
And today, the heart of Ukraine is covered with scars. These are the names of our fallen heroes. May God protect every family in the world from experiencing such losses. I would not wish any leader in the world to experience these feelings – the moment you hand over awards posthumously. You see the eyes of a mother, a wife, or a child of a warrior who gave their life for Ukraine, and you hear them say: "Please, let it all not be in vain." Thousands of our guys and girls have not faded into oblivion. They are with us, they are by our side, always, they are watching over us from the heavens. And we have no right to let them down, and we cannot betray their feat and memory.
And every day in the coming year, I, and all of us, must fight for a Ukraine that is strong enough. Because only such a Ukraine is respected and heard. Both on the battlefield and at the negotiating table.
I thank everyone who has stood by us this year. Our partners, allies, friends, leaders. Leaders indeed, not because it is customary to call them that, but because they prove their leadership by their actions. Those who were not afraid to come to Ukraine, knowing how valuable it is to see us standing shoulder to shoulder. With whom, despite the distance and time difference, we worked together, found solutions and achieved results. Patriots, IRIS-Ts, NASAMS and ATACMS systems, F-16s, SCALPs, Storm Shadows. The Czech initiative and a million shells. The Danish model and hundreds of millions in our domestic production. 27 security agreements and 40 billion to support our army. The European Union and 50 billion to support our economy. The G7 and the decision on 50 billion dollars of frozen Russian assets. This is our great international work. This is our great international victory. I thank our partners, thank you for this; I thank our team. The Army, the Government, the Office, the Parliament, the regions, the communities, the volunteers. All those who strengthen our country from within and care about people.
I thank everyone thanks to whom Ukraine is standing and will stand. It will overcome its path to peace, to a strong Ukraine. And to a European Ukraine. And these are not just words, but a reality that began this June with the opening of negotiations on Ukraine's accession to the EU. And this is a historic result. And this path is irreversible. And Ukraine will be in the European Union. And one day Ukraine will be in NATO and will strengthen the Alliance. It will strengthen the stability of the world. The unity of Europe, which determines the destiny of every nation on the continent. And this unity must be respected by all. By both Budapest and Bratislava. I know the Hungarian and Slovak peoples are actually with us, with Ukraine, with Ukrainians, on the side of truth. The authorities of these countries should also acknowledge the truth. There is no need to be afraid of Ukraine being in Europe. We must do everything to prevent Russia from being in Europe. Its tanks, its missiles, and the evil it will surely spread further if Ukraine does not withstand. If Russia shakes your hand today, it does not mean that tomorrow, it will not start killing you with the same hand. Because Russians are afraid of the free people. Of what they are not familiar with. They are afraid of freedom. They were born under Putin, went to school under Putin, joined the army under Putin and are dying for his sick ideas.
And that is why it is so crucial today to support all peoples who defend freedom. Those who refuse to give it up in Chișinău. Those who are fighting for their future in Tbilisi. And I am sure that the day will come when we will all say: "Long Live Belarus!"
Dear Ukrainians!
May 2025 be our year. The year of Ukraine. We know that peace will not be given to us as a gift. But we will do everything to stop Russia and end the war. This is what each of us wishes for.
Behind all of us stands Mother Ukraine. And she deserves to live in peace. I wish this to all of us. And as the President of Ukraine, as well as a citizen, I will do everything to achieve it in the coming year. Knowing that I will not be alone. I know that you stand shoulder to shoulder with me – millions of Ukrainians. Strong. Free. Beautiful. Independent.
Happy New Year, dear people!
Happy New Year, Ukraine!
Glory to Ukraine!
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#ufffff#UFFFFFFF#i didnt expect his new year greetings to be THAT emotional#and personal#very very VERY touching speech#and so many great parts and quotes#i also wasnt prepared for ze looking like he might cry every moment (and sounded like)#and despite it being so emotional it felt a bit more hopeful than last year#i wouldnt say optimistic but definitely hopeful#the few persona notes in it really hit me#no matter if the “i cry too about our returns” or the being proud to be the president part#or the last part - as president and civilian doing everything#like he isnt already doing everything possible and impossible to bring this war to an end with a just peace#of course a lot of praise and admiration and cheers belong to the brave people of ukraine for all kind of achievements#but a lot of things ze mentioned in his speech did only happen because of him#and he deserves way more credit for it#even though he would never give himself the credit and would always direct it to the other people#and yeah sure he has a team who works with him#but its also him and his face and strength and endurance#i hope one day he will be able to look back at this and feel that he did enough#that he did everything#that he can be proud and happy and doesnt have to doubt himself or chases impossible high standards#on another note#the part with USA was brilliantly played#in general they do lot of right steps at the moment when it comes to trump & US this whole situation might play out in favor for themselves#and on another side note#the picture is amazing#Youtube
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2024 reads / storygraph
The Teller of Small Fortunes
lighthearted fantasy adventure
follows an immigrant fortune teller who travels between villages telling small fortunes for people
when she runs into a (mostly reformed) thief and an an ex-mercenary searching for his lost daughter, she ends up traveling with them in the hopes she can help, along with a baker they meet along the way,
they encounter various magical creatures and adventurous situations, and eventually she has to face her past
no romance
#The Teller of Small Fortunes#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#this was okay#to be honest I didn’t get very attached to any of the characters - I found most of them a bit one dimensional.#(I kept forgetting the cat even existed - why keep mentioning the magical cat in the promo if it’s barely there!!!)#And not feeling much for the characters meant I struggled to feel much about everything else about the story honestly#The exploration of being diaspora in a foreign country & experiences of racism & her relationship with her mother was probably the most#interesting to me.#I always give cozy fantasy a chance but honestly I need it to be deeply introspective or maybe like really funny#it’s just a bit too light for me? (other than the racism and xenophobia - I’m glad to see more of that in this space)#It’s just I think not deeply enough for me - and combined with not feeling attached to the characters I just wasn’t feeling it#Also one of the reasons I picked this up was because I was seeing people say it has an asexual MC and let me just say-#it has a very vaguely AROace CODED mc#If you’re looking for it there’s a few lines of implications but it’s not super clear and also any mention is romance related - aro! not ac#There were SO many instances that would have been an opportunity to bring up aro/aceness and the choice to not do that#felt sightly strange to me?. however tdlr readers could be promoting this on it having no romance and focusing on#friendship/family instead of saying it has an ace MC which is….only there if you squint#no romance#***other than side characters being married and also:#There’s a minor subplot where a side character has a crush on another SC which is unrequited#and there’s a bit of a confrontation after which he backs off. but then it’s implied they might get together in the end :(#which was unnecessary! come on!#I always find fantasy characters inventing real life foods slightly odd but at least this one is more from the author’s culture#anyway. it's okay! just didn't really end up being for me
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starting to kind of date someone right before christmas is so stressful fr. do i get him a gift or what we've been on two dates but i'm seeing him tonight n it's christmas eve.....but what if he didn't get me anything then it will be weird.....
#i planned to try to find something small enough that i could easily carry around concealed then take it out if he got something for me#but the thing i got ened up being a bit too big for that lol#im gonna bring a big bag of gifts for all my friends maybe and then it won't be weird idk#by some miracle my mom showed me a bag of emergency gifts for the girlies and i was like cool im taking all of them tonight 😂#which was not what she intended lol#but im gonna do it#if i had time i would have gotten him something different but its good enough#he mentioned a book he hadn't read last night so would have been cool the got him that but its too late its a music hat now#if he even got me anything idk#but he specifically told me he was last minute christmas shopping so idk#i am over analyzing this for sure tho#anyway most unrealistic part of christmas romance movies is they're not anxious wondering whether to gift or not to gift#also im lowkey scared abt new years 😳#not that i wouldn't like to kiss him probably but i already have a hard time looking at him without blushing 😂#so that would make it 10000x worse lmao#also idk if i want to kiss him JUST bc its new years instead of waiting for the right moment to just happen? idk i dont wanna rush things#its not for sure we'll be together at midnight on new years idk what his plans are#but we'll see#anyway things are going well but moving faster than expected 😅#also not 100% sure i'm seeing him tonight and def not tomorrow so that might take the gift pressure off but idk#waiting to hear back abt tonight#😐😐😐#also idk why we waited until we were both on break from work to do stuff bc honestly every time we've met it's been after work hours anyway#however it allows us to stay up later than on work nights which is nice#he didn't leave my house until after 11 last night lol#anyway trying hard not to get swept up in all this while its new but fr im like oh this is what it's supposed to feel like 🥺#never been in love before every relationship i've had was awk and forced was starting to think maybe im just not capable of love#but literally cuddling on the couch watching it's a wonderful life last night i was like hm i'm definitely capable of love actually#not saying im actually there yet but it would be soooo easy to fall for this guy which is p scary actually#esp bc im not sure it would work for other reasons
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Literally just woke up to my cuboard having collapsed over my head. Didn't even wake up due to the impact, I think. Just to my sister coming into my room with both the cuboard and books, boxes and stuff on the floor and were my head was resting because she heard the crash a room over.
I have a bit of a headache right now, but otherwise I think I'm fine. Tho I don't know what's funnier: us having gotten someone to fix that thing literally less than a week ago and it already collapsing or the fact that said collapse couldn't even wake me up despite very likely having hit me and trashed my tiny room. Hurray to being alive, but what the fuck.
#momento rambles#this is something i've always been worried about happening after it got reattached to the wall again#i would choose to sleep with my head on the opposite side like i should if it didn’t decrease my chance of hearing my alarm in the morning#then again considering this shit didn’t manage to wake me properly i might just be cooked on that front all together huh#it didn't bash my skull in during my sleep like i was paranoid about so the winner is me but still ouch. that alarm might not be worth it#now that i think about it i kinda remember feeling like something had attacked me and a semi distant sounding crashing noise near me#but wasn't awake enough to tell if it was real or not. now that i'm unfortunately awake i can see it wasn't just my imagination#i was too deep in the soushin trenches tonight apparently cuz is that normal to just unconsciously shrug off 💀#anyway i need to bring my brothers to school so i'm going back to sleep and hope my phone alarm will have a better shot at waking me XD#don't mind me just writin down how 2024 tried to assassinate me before i can cross the finish line that is 2025 at like 1AM before i forget
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ossan takuya fucking losing it over tsuyoshi’s member color being curry
#tsukutta#smapxsmap gifs#gen xer with gen z humor tbh#i know his cackle is renowned as his greatest laugh#but this one where he’s struggling really bad to get his composure back might be that one for me#not only because it’s really funny watching him wriggle around and hide his face and usually make interesting sounds#but it’s usually the stupidest humor that brings this one out (pattern-recognition lol..im not taking notes over here i promise)#*sigh* okay fine..jesse sixtones’s ‘nama’ pun..tsuyoshi’s ’smap is actually entertaining’ after watching all the guys during suspension..#..blooper from ‘change’ where abe takes a big bite of a juicy watermelon..and then proceeds to say his lines with mouthful...#and.. personally i want to think that he broke cuz fukatsu persevered and said her lines like normal#and he just couldnt handle that#….oh and this ^^ this is pretty stupid-funny too#okay I’ve rambled enough wth……
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a gift <:]
Recently, a friend of mine was feeling sad so I made this for her and thought I'd share it with you guys as well <3
Just a reminder: You are wanted. You are beautiful. No matter how bad it seems, there will always be somebody willing to fight for you and keep you from drowning in the vast ocean that is despair. You may be wounded, but wounds will heal into scars. And scars will fade. They may not ever fade completely, but a scar is much better than a bleeding, open mess
And no matter how messy it is, there will always be somebody willing to stitch you back together <333
even if it's a stranger on the internet or a drawing of the autism creature xD
#reassurance#you are loved#you are beautiful#you are not alone#you are enough#you are worthy#self help#self love#YOU ARE WONDERFUL#I MAY NOT KNOW YOU BUT I WILL SCREAM IT TO THE ROOFTOPS A THOUSAND TIMES#YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!! YOU ARE AN AMAZING#YOU MIGHT NOT EVEN BE A HUMAN BEING AND THAT'S OKAY#I LOVE YOU ANYWAY ❤���❤️#that rhymes#Oh and also if you see the two 'honests' tags I don't know where I fucked up but it won't let me get rid of them xd#yippee creature#autism creature#tism creature#tbh creature#ooo and also also Honeyzee suggested I bring back the yippees but instead of them being daily they're weekly#I think imma do it but I'm just stockpiling images of them right now to prepare lol
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fellas the book 7 update…. *crying*
(refer to the tags for my rambling, just to minimize ppl accidentally spoiling themselves)
#sandy blabbles#twst#Book 7 spoilers#dude ace loves his friends sm#His happiness including yuu’s own happiness—where they get to go back to their home but also still be able to stay in twst; still get to ha#Hang out and be friends. Never having to say goodbye.#I just…heart shackle my beloved they could never make me hate you#It really shows how much Ace truly loves his friends and how he doesn’t WANT to part with them; say goodbye and sever his ties with them#Its actually rlly similar to Malleus’s whole OB thing; both of them fear the imminent parting of their loved ones#I think it’s really noteworthy that Ace’s happiness gets predicated on Yuu’s happiness FIRST#I think in reality deep down he FOESNT want Yuu to go back home; because it’s likely that their way back home is a one way trip.#It’s not like graduating and going back home. In this case Yuu is gone. Period. They existed in TWST in one moment and the next they cease#However he also knows that them staying in TWST would only be painful; they had a life before NRC and to make them say goodbye to that fore#Is something he also doesn’t want to do; the fact that one of the core false memories the dream is built upon is YUU’S HAPPY EXPRESSION at#Crowley finding a way for them back home is…*chef’s kiss* so ofc the ideal solution for him is to let them travel between world’s; that way#The both of them can be happy; Yuu can go back home but still be with Ace and their friends. Dude I’m just so fucking touched—Ace has#Infamously bad emotional communication yet he cares and loves sm. Yes he’s an ass yes he’s a jerk yes he’s a selfish teen boy; but he’s *ou#Asshole. Who will have our back as we do his; who will be happy with as he is with Heartshackle. When you get down to it Ace is sentimental#Whereas Malleus’ solution has involved him selfishly restraining the ppl he loves in an effort not to lose them; and ending up alone i#Ace’s UM defo coming in Book 7 (or 8; him getting his UM during a confrontation with Malleus would be very fitting)#It’s almost poetic how traitor ace theory is simultaneously torn away but also…not with his dream.#The fact remains that he cares for Yuu and doesn’t want them to go; those feelings which are core to the theory ARE there. But at the same#Time he’s not selfish enough to do that to Yuu…sure there IS the question of how he would treat the situation in reality rather than the#Ideal dream but I think that by the end of book 7 any lingering feelings he might have of keeping Yuu in twst; even to their detriment will#Fall in the face of malleus who is emblematic of such desires. Book 7 will end in Ace wholeheartedly working with us to find Yuu a way back#Home. Because if that’s what will bring them happiness; even if it’s a happiness Ace will not have been a part of for long or much longer#Then he will do it. Even if parting is painful having the people he loves be in pain for the rest of their lives (ie Yuu being trapped) is#Far far FAR more painful then parting ever could be. Because for as much as Ace bullies and pursues being a cool kid#He will never be able to stop caring and loving his dear friend#(Also couldn’t fit this in but the fact that he was able to be so rational while delululu when resisting waking up is SO on point
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Just as I got used to how young That Man sounded in Xrd and Overture- I'm thrown back to where his voice had that deep intimidating vibe instead- can't catch a break ;;
#drama cd liveblog#mm that does bring up a question I've had on the back burner though-#how *is* That Man achieving immortality?#I would write off the change of voice as a new direction for his character *if* it wasn't for one line in Overture#where it's directly mentioned that he's young (like a child if I remember right- could be wrong about that bit though)#that makes me wonder if That Man doesn't have an extended lifespan in the way a gear does#instead maybe he's someone who's kept alive by something like cloning?#like making younger versions of himself to either continue his work or transfer his consciousness into directly#I don't think That Man has involved himself as a test subject in the gear project from what I've seen#so I think he uses some other method to stay alive long enough for him to feel his work is finished#... If that makes any sense?#I might be completely off- it's a bit of a shot in the dark
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can all of you shut up for literally five fucking seconds please
#mars.txt#my bad days have started to snowball into bad weeks which are projected to become bad months and frankly all of you are making it worse#<- me being dramatic this is not true only a select amount of you are making it worse#who is you i dont know i dont follow people i think are annoying unless im physically forced to but sometimes annoying people appear on my#phone against my will and im forced to be the bigger person and not suicide bait#speakign of which im bringing that back singlehandedly we do not tell others to kill themselves often enough#think about it maybe if you really put your mind to it they actually will#depending on who yohre targetinf its probably a net positive#no money but the only way i can feel peace is to have a live tracker of every fsmily member ive ever had in my life constantly in front of#me like in a clockwork orange but instead of the horrors its just physical proof o ehere they are#at all times#what was a lifelong looming fear that gave me such bad anxiety i would be sent home from school in literally second grade has only been fed#like fire and all i do is worry and all ive done is worry for literally years and why am i constantly holding my breath and why does every#phone call from an unknown number make my stomach hurt and why am i realizing now that its always been this way#looking through my dad's old documents and finding cards upon cards upon cards and there were so amny words but the only one i see in my#dreams is just alien over and over again alien alien alien and then i look outside and i wonder if the mothership might come for him and#take him away and now alien spacecraft are hovering everywhere we go and everywhere he goes and it feels like im the only one who like cares#like this crushing weight on my chest and i look at my friends and my collegues and im like How are you breathing?How can you breathe#until i get to see my grandma and suddenly im letting out a sigh of relief thats been building since i was in second grade#anyways. sorry#just shut up though
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this site wins by doing absolutely nothing
#rip tiktok uhhh. i didnt use it it bc it would be bad for me but i also dont like the sinophobia and censorship involved to take it down#RIP CAP.CUT. but also i . looks left looks right i had it downloaded on my laptop#and its not been updated for a while so its not connected to the internet#but its still completely functional#soooooo. im okay#i might look into a backup still though just to be safe#i kinda stopped using insta bc its not fun to use#twt............ i use it sparingly#and get off and do smth else if i feel agitated by it#this site is. somewhat functional enough and has the archive system i quite enjoy#and userbase is tolerable enough and easy go navigate away from ppl I don't want to see#bluesky is quite nice but a bit slow on traction but honestly. it brings me a bit back to my early days on tumblr#i like that the blocking feature is so thorough too#idk. Tumblr and blueksy are still the best options out of the bunch.#im not sure where i was going with this im getting sleepy now buuhbyeeee#rando thoughtz
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You gather your nerves a moment, which is fair, strange doors have not been so innocuous for you as of late, then creep up to the establishment and push open the door, it gives easily and quietly you slip in, behind the door is small hallway with thick curtains you brush aside, you're looking at a small illuminated room that you would guess is the entrance to the museum, but there's no one manning the front, you call out and knock on the desk yet no answer, you've already come this far so you go further in.
At first it's just pictures on the walls in moderately open spaced windowless rooms, the pictures themselves are interesting, supposed creatures sighted, this places versions of UFO's and Bigfoot's, but also nothing you haven't flipped past in the books you've been searching, the next room is the same and you're beginning to feel the weight of your trespassing misconduct the longer you linger, the museum seems to be set up in a circle so if you keep going forward you should end up back at the front so you move on, the next room has a large curtained off display that takes up most of the back wall, your curiosity piqued you move to pull aside the curtain, the fabric is soft and slides beneath your fingers, you raise it just enough to see a picture on the wall of a strange landscape, short blue and grey plants and a dusty pink sky, in the picture is a smiling man holding a book and looking passed the camera, on his jacket dangles a white key...
"May I ask for an explanation?! Our door is closed for the night hours."
You drop the curtain and turn to find an older gentleman looking at you from across the room, he seems irritated and mildly alarmed, you hurriedly apologize and explain the door was open and rush to ask about the display behind the curtain, he is not impressed with your questions and asks that you leave, realizing your unfortunate situation you acquiesce and ask for the hours you can visit instead, he gives you a time and pointedly tells you the cost of the entrance fee as well, you head back to your friends place, your heart in your throat, this is the closest you've been to figuring out what to do next in almost a week, the itchy paranoia of last worlds government catching you shadowing your every move.
You reach your friends place, they're still out probably picking up dinner, you are still caught off guard at times by how similar this place is to your world, sure their versions of things are a little odd, the tv is circular, doorframes rounded out, other little oddities, it's all so similar though you may as well just be in another country maybe, with a strange accent.
You decide to take this moment to add to your journal and look over your things, while you did a quick inventory check when you first got here you haven't checked the items themselves until now.
Your walkie crackles when you flip it on, same as ever.
Your phone remains serviceless but fills its charge when you turn it on and off. Interestingly you notice it trying to pick up a wifi signal and when you check there seem to be a couple networks nearby, locked though.
The funnel still amplifies the noises around you and you hear the neighbors discussing something on the tv next door as clearly as if they were speaking to you. When you look through the funnel you don't notice anything. You hold it back up to your ear listening to all the different things around you and pull out the spinning top, as soon as the top hits the table the noise disappears, confused you look at the funnel and then listen again, but no noise, the top falls over and the noise returns. Strange.
The berries taste fresh and make you feel better, but you are running low even though you resupplied a bit before leaving.
The dog tags seem unchanged and your key and whistle seem the same as ever.
When your friend gets back you ask about the wifi, they call it something else, but once you parse it out they help you set it up. Your phone can now access their version of the internet so your friend shows you a program to message them just in case. They also give you a device to keep in your pocket that connects you to the wifi wherever you go, so you can contact them while you're out and about. You tell them about the museum you saw earlier, how you think it may be a lead, and the old man running the place. They seem excited for you and make plans to join you tomorrow to go see it.
You go to bed that night thinking of your plans for the morning and turn over the strange dreams or images you remember from when you passed through the door. You slip off into an uneasy sleep, gold threads weave from dream to dream until you stand before an open doorway of light, something about this doorway is wrong though, you can feel it, you reach out to touch, the crackles of energy electrifying the air...someone reaches out and stops you, you can't see their face but you hear them as if through water. You can almost make out the words...you know they're speaking to you, you just can't hear it well enough.
You turn to them, but you still can't see anything but their lips, it looks like their telling you to stop...to go...you can't make it out.
"...op...ea...G...ome!"
With that last echoing and indecipherable shout you awaken to the dark room, the walkie crackling from where you left it.
"S....l....o...h..." You fumble with it a second but the sounds die out no longer sounding like anything but static again. You don't end up sleeping much after that.
The next day you both head out to go to the museum. You take a minor detour to check the Door, but when you get close you see the alley has been blocked off, you notice some people from the last dimension around, their odd features sticking out to you but hidden away to fit in with the locals.
You cross the street with your friend and try to stay inconspicuous. Probably best stay away from here going forward.
You guys make it to the museum and head inside where the old man from last night mans the desk, your friend pays for the tickets and he hands them to you along with a pamphlet.
You don't bother looking at all the things you saw last night, your friend follows though obviously intrigued by the pictures. You reach the curtained wall and pull back the fabric, but find there's nothing there, dusty spots frames may have hung and empty tables where things had obviously been displayed are all that's left.
In shock you stand confused, your friend catches up and looks behind the curtain curious, you explain it's all gone, they seem befuddled as well. Obviously the content behind the curtain has been moved but it can't be far right? Maybe it's just in the back. Either way, it feels like someone is hiding something from you. You notice a door leading to the back that's for employee's.
Do you go through the door?
yes
#i gotta do something at least a little stupid once a week. for enrichment.#I'll go in providing friend will go to btw. I lose a significant amount of self preservation when I'm around someone I'm friends with#maybe I should prepare them for “hey btw you might end up coming through a door with me if the government here is anything like the last”#I will be playing the “absolutely dumbass” card#I just wandered in Mr. person who works here. my bad. no I didn't notice the sign. nah. cant read. no clue what youre talking about. chill.#I will use Earth's style of diplomacy (responding to everything with “I'm literally neruodivergent and a minor” regardless of the context)#anyways I don't like how this world is feeling. the alleyway being blocked off the people from the last dimension this guy at the museum#it all makes me wanna hop to the next world which to be fair is also probably a bad move#i bring a sort of super uncooperative vibe to functions that government agencies don't like#was I smart enough to bring my stuff with me to this place#maybe I should run back and grab all my stuff then come trespass in this museum#I should pay very close attention to the walkie#yes/no anon#guys help I'm lost in a black berry bush#is that the tag#whatever#its more “hide and seek from the government: door edition” for the sake of accuracy
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im sure ive alrwady said this but veilgaurd called me a bottom in evedy language, most strongly elvhen tho. i cannot stop thinking about elgar'nans lil spiel to the venatori saying 'all you must do is love me, and kneel' like bruh......if rook wasnt so spiteful they probably would have...just to see where he was going with that....
#im afraid of a lot as i get to the end of the game but technical things like the skill tree and subclasses aside#i dont get why people are so unhappy with it#maybe im biased cause i always play an elf but i fucking LOVE learning about elvhen history and how we shaped thedas#and then it all went to shit and our gods hated us and used tevinter to make the world worse#i highly doubt this is the last da game the series is too popular and adding that we can be trans now is a massive improvement#even if i think the lighthouse should have been more like skyhold and let us talk to companions more#and craft the armor ourselves#and ngl i think the lighthouse should have been more of a refuge for those that survived the gods attacks#like anyone from arlathen/dmeta or hossberg#idk im really only bad about the skill tree and subclasses and lack of bards tbh#but truely......the lucanis almost kiss???? everything about being a mourn watcher??? my SHATHANN CALLING ME A TWINK#this game called me a slur#and just the fucking appearance of my lil rook....he looked so blissed when under elgar'nans trance#bellara and neve were so done with my shit there 😭#i do want to play a dwarf really badly next time#or qunari because the games have built a really interesting cuture for them but never really went strongly into it other than like#the arishok and the antaam? but now they mention the devouring storm and thats probably a fuckass big dragon#but now i need to know more#im not done but veilguard very much isnt the conclusion#but my god i cant stop thinking about how vulnerable my rook actually is like from the personality ive given him from myself#if the gods or like anaris found him before varric did.....this would be a very different story and there would be a lot of tears and#begging for a shot at redemption and care#oh god wed disappoint vorgoth......might as well just kill myself if that ever happened#i just love that my rook has become more senstive as ive played and more hurt when he was already not doing so hot for personal reasons#he still has a smart mouth but he wants to cry like 9/10 times he has to make decisions#companions stop asking me to shape their lives challenges#ngl rook would absolutely stsrt bawling his eyes out over manfred begging emmerichs forgivness for wanting manfred back#i just imagine tears coming down his face as he tells emmerich manfred was a hero and he deserves another chance to keep learning so that#next time he does soemthing heroic...hes prepared and wont 'die' by doing it#cause my lil guy knows hes not smart enough to bring manfred back himself
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