#that is one of the most badass intros of a character in this damn anime

[epickiya722]

Look, I don't care how you feel about this woman right here.

IT IS BADASS THAT HER INTRO IS HER ACTUALLY STANDING ON THE FRONT END OF A DAMN PLANE WHILE ITS ZOOMING THROUGH THE AIR!! WITH HER HANDS ON HER HIPS AND A PROUD GRIN ON HER FACE!! 💫

[spacehostilityy]

Okie well I can't shut up ever so I'm going to compile my thoughts here on Tumblr as I rewatch nnt fom the beginning !! Also pls feel free to scream and/or rewatch with me👉👈👀

Kinda long so more thots below the cut

Season 1, episodes 1-6

I forgot how good the writing and animation are in the first season, like they truly thrived under aniplex😔 the brief white blood period in I think season 3 shows us just how good we had it

I love seeing Hawk and Meliodas's relationship, and his star Boar earring😭 plus having the Boar hat as the main location is just so comforting !!

Also I JUST realized his name is hawk because of a ham hok😭😭 this is like when I realized toe mater's name was tomato at the ripe age of 18

I miss the holy knights being powerful. Like I get that the Sins are always more powerful than them, had a long way to go in terms of power ups, and meliodas straight up had most of his power sealed but like DAMN. They were so cool in season 1 !! Gil was such a badass😭 I guess I just wish that the holy knights powered up along with the Sins

Seeing the very first episode got me thinking about the original pilot Manga (chapter 0) and how cool it might have been !! Like I love the story we got, but I do think those versions of Mel and Elizabeth maybe would have been better than the ones we got😳 like I just really like Meli's original design, I feel like he looks a bit older, and chapter 0 Elizabeth is simply superior ngl. She's funny, brave, and assertive - a lot more like Liz and goddess Elizabeth, except funnier

The first half of season 1 has one of my fave intro and outros like damn I forgot how fucking cool they were. Some of my fave songs to !! (my all time fave is def howling from season 3 part 2 (i think lol) tho)

Like look how cool this is !!! It reminds me of this pic from the manga

Speaking of intros, I miss the title cards !! Like look how cute this is !!

Everytime the fiddle (?) Music plays I get SO FUCKING HYPED BRO like damn Ik it's through all the seasonal and I'm so glad it is because it's rlly the perfect hype song - here it is on Spotify

Also Gil is such a badass in early episodes, I love his strength !! This moment is the fucking coolest and you can't convince me otherwise

Overall, I think the attention to detail is just better, the sounds the armor makes, the animation and drawings (esp background characters), Meliodas just sounds a bit older too (and I have theories on his voice here if u want them 👀)

The whole perv thing is really exhausting really quickly. Almost surprised 14 year old me made it through this as the 2nd anime I ever watched and the 1st I watched alone

I feel like Diane got shorter through the seasons. Like she doesn't compare to Hawk Mama like she did in season 1, and I think that's a damn shame. Let my giant girl be giant !!

She's also a decent bit more violent and I enjoy that thoroughly. She's just a silly goofy kween😌

Also her original costume is superior, her boots are just👌

Just realized that Meliodas was like an older brother/mentor to Gil and now they're brothers in law 😭😭

Also young Elizabeth and Gil are so cute😭 I always forget that they grew up together too

I love Hawk, but I feel like kicking him would just be so satisfying 😔

HOLY SHIT I forgot how badass Ban is when weren't first introduced to him !!

The humming while impaled and bleeding out he really is that girl tm

He's such a masochist. A damn if it isn't kinda hot.

Wow they really introduced Diane's body issues and then almost never bring them up again

Also my plus size Diane headcanon is so real like damn. Body issues girlies are being represented by her fr😔

Ban's slutty waist. That's it. That's the thot.

Also his pre series hair. First season reminding me why I love Ban sm

Lowkey miss the dragon handle sword. The broken blade was so cool:( Lostvayne still cool tho

I think it's so funny how they always wore their armor as holy knights, and yet anytime they wear armor in the present time line, it just immediately cracks off😭

Really anything except pants is going to be blasted off🤪

Okay SO in episode 5, when Ban is about to get his scar from the dragon handle sword, he tells Meliodas "you and me have been hanging together for a lot of years now." This scene takes place 12 years before present (bp). Does this mean Ban and Meliodas were friends before the formation of the Sins? Or was Ban the first after him and Merlin? Ban has been immortal 20 years BP, leaving 8 years in between present and the flashback. 8 years before this scene, Meliodas was still in Danafal/Danfor and would be for another 4 years. What does any of this mean? Idk, just thot it was intriguing lol.

Also how did I not notice this is the first time we see demon!Meliodas !! Baby's first sighting as an unnatural creature with otherworldly rage🥰🥰

Also the fact we never see the scar Gil gave him again lol. Plus him presumably needing to do demon mode so hellfire can heal him is actually rlly cool

Just thought about how Elizabeth laying her hand on his chest to check the scar was the first time in years his love touches him with gentleness or concern🥲🥲

The fact that it took me 6 years to realize that when Meliodas says he'll keep the promise he made to Elizabeth, even if she should die is referencing the promise he made to her originally to break their curses🥲😬😤😭😭😭😭

6'11 Ban thinking that he even had a chance in fitting in Jericho's armor is just so... him

Diane calling Elizabeth kiddo is so fucking cute🥺

Also they definitely get away with a lot more innuendos and swears. The words badass and foreplay in the same episode? Impressive

[blog-of-hubris]

Hunter x Hunter Chapter 391: Clash Pt 2; The Return of The King.

Intro/Disclaimer:

I know most people who follow this blog either know me from twitter or just have seen my Jujutsu Kaisen Metas, so you may or may not know about my passion for Hunter x Hunter (not to mention my love for Togashi in general), so I just want to fully disclaim that it is my favorite manga of all time and probably my favorite fictional story in any media. The thing about Hunter x Hunter for me that makes it so amazing (to be brief lol) is the structure of the storytelling combined with the world and characters that drive it. So for these metas, you’ll be seeing me talk about all types of random or maybe even irrelevant details to you, but to me- is necessary to my understanding of the story. So with that being said, bare with me... I hope you enjoy. 

Straight back to it..

It was obvious from the title of chapter 390 that this chapter would be a direct follow up from where we picked up last with the succession war and it did not disappoint. The three new characters we were introduced to in 390 (Zakuro, Lynch and Hinrigh) were brought into the story in a very cool way and seeing a follow up to their bold introductions was cool but more so because of Hinrigh’s badass ability. However, seeing Zakuro’s blood splatter on the wall crawl away to do recon for him was incredibly creepy yet satisfying to see. Its an interesting way to show the versatility of his ability outside of it hanging out of his neck as an extension of himself. I love how Lynch messing with one of the drops was Togashi’s way of showing what the ability could do, leading Zakuro to mention their span of 30 to 40 minutes. Its those key details and points given through the characters to expand on abilities without narration thats really cool. I love that stuff. 

In terms of Hinrigh, I knew he would be very dangerous but the use of his ability is fantastic. First and foremost, he is a very smart guy. Seeing him come to his own (correct) conclusions about the situation with Morena and the rebellion was great. Love how smart HxH characters are, and I love how its flows with the dialogue. On top of that, he uses the cameras to track down the woman that works for Morena, then takes the camera and turns it into a damn cat. A cute ass cat. Then presses record. His ability is so practical, and I am truly curious about the conditions of his ability. Before we saw him use money with New Script on it to turn their guns into snakes, but with the cat he just used his hands. I wonder if the animal/organic object is based on the size of the item he is transforming. The idea of handcuffs being turned into pigeons while flying around like sentinels is very cool. So to me it shows he can control the pigeons’ flight in the direction he chooses, meaning he can control the function of both the organic and inorganic part of the object. A very nasty ability (that I would love to see Chrollo using hehe). 

Hinrigh vs Morena’s Soldiers

The fight between Hinrigh and the three Morena soldiers was a one sided battle but it showed multiple things; 1. As established in the previous section, a glimpse to how powerful Hinrigh is, 2. How lackluster and hotheaded Morena’s soldiers can be and 3. There will be an all out war on Tier 3. 

I already talked about the first point above, and I want to see more of what Hinrigh can do before breaking down his ability any more. So onto the second point: How lackluster Morena’s soldiers were. Hinrigh pointed out he believed that the killings on the tiers were some sort of training for these new nen users through moron’s power. 23 of them exist so far, and we just formally met 6 of them total. The first guy’s ability was a very weak willed conjurer ability.

Henrigh even pointed in out when the guy initially attacked, and I love that because it reflects how ignorant these people are to nen. No proper teaching, no principles Their levels reflected this as well, but I still found it astonishing to see. It makes me wonder how many are in the higher levels and just how strong they are. Will we run into some naturally talented people who have really crazy abilities? I do hope so, because I would like to see how dangerous Moron’s people can get. 

The third point is the war on Tier 3. If you have forgotten, this is the Tier Morena is on and also the Tier where Leorio and the doctors are stationed at. Since the Heil-ly family vs Xi-yu is the surface of this conflict with the spiders following right behind, I can guarantee Tier 3 is about to become a pure battlefield. The way Hinrigh was attacked in front of regular civilians is the proof that the Heil-ly do not care about their surroundings. They want blood and they are going for it, but since Morena is backed by the fourth prince, I am sure he will hear about whats going on and might try to enter the fray to test out his newly learned Nen skills. Not to mention if Hisoka IS on this Tier.. will Hinrigh find him first? I honestly hope so because I would LOVE to see that fight. My money is on Hinrigh (lol). OR maybe Zakuro and Lynch will find him first, but I feel like Hinrigh will be the one to do so, if he doesn't have his hands full chasing down “that woman”.

About Hinrigh’s ability specifically, I need to see just how crazy and technical he is going to get with his ability. Thats another reason why I would like to see him fight Hisoka, or even Chrollo honestly. Hinrigh’s boss (Onior Longboa) is trying to keep the spiders in check by making them wait until Hinrigh can find Hisoka first and I hope that backfires and we see Hinrigh fight Chrollo and get his ability stolen. Thats one of the things we never seen Chrollo do while in battle so if he finds a way to steal Hinrigh’s technique while fighting I would be on top of the world. 

(I could go into a break down about the guy Hinrigh killed but I honestly don't want to give him my energy lol, I believe his purpose was to show how mentally screwed Morena’s men are, simple as that.)

Waiting for more...

This chapter was a nice action chapter with a little dialogue to remind readers where we are in this part of the arc. It was perfect because it did not bombard people with information and people could enjoy the action. I think the rest of this “mafia war” will be just like this, but with certain chapters holding more relevant plot/lore info than others. 

I hope we get a lot of action in this batch of chapters. This is just the beginning of some crazy plot points about to unfold on the boat and I am more than ready for it. Lets see what crazy plot pieces Togashi will bring to us!

HUNTER x HUNTER IS BACK!!

[tsff21]

Damn, just a year ago MHA was one of tumblr's "golden boy" animes and now its widely considered a joke. What happened?

A few things, actually!

Inconsistent tone that made it hard to take some events seriously.

Overt sexualization of teenage girls.

Increasingly shoddy story telling and plot points

....QUESTIONABLE writing decisions (a major antagonist is suddenly given a redemption arc after literally the entire story beforehand was dedicated to showing what a reprehensible piece of shit he was)

A sharp increase in women characters being graphically killed off or otherwise maimed while male characters in similar situations end up just fine.

No seriously, the way Hori's been treating his women characters lately is majorly fucked up. From the MLA arc on, one woman is killed by being smashed into the pavement until she's a pile of limbs and viscera, another gets her arm messily torn off, another is heavily implied to have been raped to death OFFSCREEN, another is blown up from the inside by a bomb planted into her chest, and finally another is graphically disintegrated into dust while clearly in agonizing pain the whole while.

By the way, that last woman character? The one who was disintegrated? Yeah she was killed off literally two chapters after her intro purely to show off how strong and "badass" the main villain's become

Honestly, this one is more of a problem with most shonen in general, but the final battle is SEVERELY drawn out. Its been over half a year since it started and we are only NOW approaching the HALFWAY POINT.

[chalkflint]

hi everyone! since i’m active again on here after a period of hiatus, and because i feel like my last writeblr intro set up expectations of like, regular polished content, that i totally failed to follow up on, i’m making a new intro to kickstart this blog’s following again and provide a more realistic idea of what i’ve got going on here. also, because i have so few active writeblr mutuals at this point. bullet point time!

i’m rosemary

they/them, lesbian, white, 24 years old

i love to write epic fantasy stories with a gay romance at the center, tons of loaded backstory, and some form of revolution

i love to draw and i also love to draw my ocs and make cool-looking character designs! be on the lookout for wip-related art posts on this blog! here’s my art tag

i spent years watching anime instead of reading books (😔) so my writing and art is very influenced by anime. now i watch anime AND read books

i’m really good at characters! i love coming up with interesting engaging characters! conversely i suck at plot but all my stories require lots of plot so every day i toil and struggle

i write VERY VERY SLOWLY and will probably not finish my wips for another 10 years

about my wips!!!!

lightning on the skin

what i post about on here 90% of the time. my main beloved project, occupies most of my writingbrain thoughts

adult, fantasy + romance (m/m)

a stoic, aloof ex-assassin and a friendly, idealistic nobleman (both pictured above) who are secretly both very lonely wind up on an adventure together after the former saves the latter’s life... and end up stumbling upon far more than they bargained for

class themes! corrupt nobility! rich families getting into petty politics against each other! uncovering secret conspiracies! tender slowburn romance! eventual revolution! it’s got it all!

planned trilogy. this shit is going to be long as fuck. Help

revenant

what i post about on here the remaining 10% of the time

adult, fantasy + romance (currently m/m but may change to f/f later??? idk??? it exists in limbo tbh)

overwrought gothic aesthetics and melodrama straight out of a teenager’s first wattpad story or clamp manga (but on purpose)

tfw you’re a vampire and you once fell in love with a hot werewolf who wants to burn down your workplace but your workplace said no so you killed them and now they’ve been resurrected and want to finish what they started which threatens your whole career you’ve worked so hard for but they’re still hot god damn it

started out as m/m. i have been stuck for months on whether to change it to f/f or not. help

untitled wip

you know the drill by now. fantasy, f/f

one’s an assassin bent on killing the queen. one’s a royal guard bent on protecting the queen. watch sparks fly!

i’ve only started developing this wip recently so there’s not much info available yet but i’m very excited about it

toxic lesbian love triangles (with healthy non-toxic endings don’t worry)

revolutionary girl utena vibes. the handmaiden vibes. let’s gooooo

other backburner stuff that i never post about or work on but lives in my mind

f/f series following two immortals who are magically bound to each watch over a particular family throughout the generations. different installations follow different generations of the families getting into adventures while their guardians have complicated sexual tension

f/f story about a hardened badass secret agent like james bond and the cheerful plucky intrepid reporter she gets assigned to work with, much to her displeasure. then, of course, they fall in love

ok just some disclaimers about how i run this blog so you know what you’re getting into

i often stop posting for months on end (aside from occasional ramblings about tropes and thoughts on writing in general). this is because my adhd means i can only focus on writing stuff when my brain isn’t taken up by a fandom obsession. so expect inconsistency

i’m bad at writeblr in general - posting excerpts, posting edits, tag games, wip intro posts, etc…. i’m not good at it. i just babble and say stream of consciousness shit on here

bad at remembering to follow back. bad at remembering to interact with other writers’ stuff even though i want to

on the plus side i post art! and i might soon be opening commissions so i can draw your oc if you want! yayyy

i also write fanfiction if anyone wants to check that out

ok idk how to finish this post if you read all that and want to follow me then you should do so!!! also i will try to check out the blogs of people who reblog this but if a lot of people reblog then i probably won’t get to everyone!! tagging some people @goose-books @yvesdot @welcometowriteblr ok i’m too shy for anyone else

[kingaegonblackfyre]

I have a lot of feelings, and I went into it wanting to like it

I love Ahsoka Tano. Removing the whole rl situation with RD from consideration, I went into this desperately hoping for the best and wanting to like it because I would love to see a live-action Ahsoka. Problem is, after over a decade of a purely animated character, any live-action version was gonna be a tall order, particularly due to the appearance and combat style. I get it.

The intro scene was alright - a good start. Duel wielding, reverse grip saber, force pushing and pulling. All characteristic of her fighting style, sans a classic Ahsoka kick to the face.

Then as the episode went on it got... weird? It was like it hit wrong notes for me across multiple points, and not necessarily RD’s fault.

Costume/Makeup Dept

As almost everyone is saying, the montrals and lekku are too short. The montrals look like she’s stuck her head out the window of a car. 

The paintjob looks like it was painted last minute and then maybe sent through the washing machine and faded (sorry, not sorry). 

And the creasing my god I could not look away, it was right next to her face. If it was meant to demonstrate battle scars, it was not done in an obvious enough way to show that. 

Instead, as someone else pointed out, it looked like they ran out of CG money and time and just used the stand-in headpiece.

Do not come at me about “well she wouldn’t be able to move or fight in it”. This is DISNEY, and they are damn well gonna use this to springboard a new series and/or movie around Ahsoka, so don’t tell me they don’t have money to CG it in their FORTY MINUTE ADVERTISEMENT.

The face markings were off. The cheek ones didn’t extend back, and the forehead ones were a little too low and off.

There was no pigment to the lips or nails.

The outfit itself was fine, she always favored sleeveless (good!), but I thought the bottom was a little too low and would infringe upon her usual movement fighting style (as compared to her entire history of tactical skirts over leggings).

Choreography

The start was good - Ahsoka, like Maul, has never subscribed to the usual Jedi “lightsaber and ONLY lightsaber” combat style. She uses the force to push, pull, throw things. She kicks, she punches, she tackles. She turns sabers on and off on a whim to suit her needs.  And most famously, the reverse grip. The first scene checked most of these boxes, while not perfect it was a pretty fair job.

The jumping over the tree branch and slicing her way out was well done too.

But by the time it got to the fight against the Magistrate, the choreography just... wasn’t there? From a cinematography pov, with the background, it was a pretty shot, but the combat just was not Ahsoka and kinda... weak for knowing over a year out she was gonna be in this.

She faced Grievous (at least twice) and survived, defeated Maul, jacked up Vader to the point that he limped away with 2/3rds of a helmet, and survived Sidious, and somehow she was disarmed by the Magistrate.

And then never recalled her saber from the water. The girl, who was disarmed by Maul and summoned it lit back to her hand through him, didn’t recall it. 

I don’t know if there was a Covid concern, time issue, or a costume issue where they wanted or needed RD to do a lot of her own stunts, but clearly CW7 had a duel-wielding stuntwoman ready. to. go. to stunt Ahsoka. (and let’s face it, nobody had a problem with the Maul duel mo-cap so...)

To be perfectly honest, as she has done with Maul and the Inquisitors, she would have just grabbed the beskar spear and yanked it out of the Magistrate’s hands.

Or just knocked her into a wall with the Force

And to be fair, if the problem with the lekku and montrals was “well she couldn’t move or film fights in it” they didn’t really do enough movements for my taste to even justify that argument.

Writing

As other reviewers have noted previously, the Mandalorian loves to tease characters or plot lines and basically pool skim them (i.e. Cobb Vanth). It’s hard to cover an entire character/plot in 30-50 mins. I get it. But from the outside, if you were new to this character and hadn’t watched TCW or SWR, these were some of the takeaways you got, almost in order: 

“She’s badass, but is she actually good or bad?”

“Can she be trusted with the Child? Maybe Din is right to be pacing.”

“Who is she, and what was she in the scheme of the story?” (this at least piques people’s interest to maybe do some research)

“Oh cool, so she won’t train him after we spent episodes getting here. Cool. Cool.”

“And now she’s gone, so should I give a shit about looking up who she is?”

And my personal favorite I’ve seen a few times: “Any other Jedi could have been substituted here and it wouldn’t have made a difference”

^^^^^^^^^This last one.

That’s a writing problem. That means you fucked up. That means you didn’t do enough in 40 minutes (when you set the timespan) to tell people why she matters or why we the audience should care. 

And finally RD. It was mostly ok. I think some of the looks and head tilts nailed it. Ahsoka. But Ashley, even as adult Ahsoka, always spoke a little... musically in tone? Even portraying the older “I’ve been through some shit and I have PTSD” Ahsoka with an older tone, it still had moments of ups and downs in tone. And that can come off a little too cartoony real easily irl, I will admit, but it was just a little too monotone for me a lot. Plus Ahsoka does a lot of arm crossing and hands on hips, and the scene with her watching Din and Grogu really caught my attention that it was missing.

So I feel like there was a lot of good shit that happened (we got a name and backstory, we saw Morai and lothcats, THRAWWWWN, Tython, dual white lightsabers, live-action Ahsoka in the flesh, a Kurosawa feel, good cinematography), but I just... didn’t quite like it, and I can’t even just pin it to one thing.

[popculturebuffet]

Amphibia Reviewcaps:  Scavenger Hunt/ The Plantars Check In

KEITH DAVID IS HERE! KEITH DAVID IS HERE AND NOT IN SHADOWY STINGER BITS BUT FULL CHARACTER! And okay other stuff happened I guess. Anne deals with her insecurity over her girlfriend being way more smart and acomplished than her, then the Plantars meet King Keith David, followed by Sprig reinacting the plot of Home Alone 2 mixed with a bit of Blank Check. You know that forgetable disney movie about the white dumbass who uses his computer skillz to get rich and has to deal with the mob.. I assume. I really have no idea exactly what blank check was about and neither do you. KEITH DAVID, under the cut. 

Scavenger Hunt

And with Marcy’s big intro out of the way we’re back to simplier problem of the week episodes, though this one does lead into the next which does have some solid plot progression, and the new setting and fresh injection of Marcy mean they do feel a bit newer after the road episodes. Like a good road trip after all that time you finally get to see the sights, enjoy the place and just relax. And also eat because your usally hungry when you first arrive, which is what the plantars and new addition Marcy are doing to start.  Marcy’s treating, because she’s friends iwth the king and as we learn next episode the king gives his friends acess to the royal treasury because he’s a seemingly nice dude. Again, more on that in a minute. While Hop Pop marvels at Marcy’s smarts and analytics, a messag efrom the king arrives.. and yes I too have “A MESSAGE FROM THE KING A MESSAGE FROM THE KING’ from hamilton in my head right now. 

Turns out the King likes to send Puzzle grams, basically sending marcy on scavenger hunts to tell her something because their both massive dorks. And it is taking ALL my willpower not to jump right ot the keith david of things, but for the sake of profesionalism I will stay here. So our party splits up: Marcy, Anne and Sprig go off to solve the puzzle and see the town while Hop Pop ends up staying because you can get free shit the more you eat, which yeah is a nice thing and all but is usually not worth what you spend. But it’s not his dime so fair enough. The king’s toilet’s are probably gold with gems and the softest seats in the land. I mean if I were king of the world I”d want the best toilet in the world. I’d also install free health care and other good stuff, but I’d expect a really nice crapper as one of the perks of the job. 

Anyway the hop pop plot really is just him eating a lot to get free stuff and showing up at the end , so i’ll focus ont he main plot which is pretty standard: Anne is insecure about how smart Marcy is, and TRIES to out marcy her in solving the puzzle, while befrending various people: Resucing a girl’s cat/caterpillar from a tree, befreinding an old lady and doing her nails, and then bonding with the gnatcho cart lady.. which made me want nachos bad, who enocourage a dispondent anne to be herself and try anyway. But yeah Marcy suceeds instead, Anne gets depressed, then Anne tries TOO Hard on the last clue when Marcy is stuck and ends up in the sewer with the alligators.. which unlike real life sewer gators, were put there on purpose by marcy to eat garbage when she redid the sewer system.. because of course she did she’s the best. It’s a really nice gag. They escape the gator when the various people Anne helped form a chain, along with an exasperated hop pop and Polly.  Then sprig blabs about Anne’s insecurity, and Marcy comforts her, pointing out that while she’s a genius and what not.. she dosen’t.. get people. Anne does, which.. I found a nice twist. The first thing she did,g etting the cat, made me think “oh their going to go with her physical skills”.. but instead in a nice twist that made me like this episode more, it’s her heart. And it’s not something they pulled out of thin air: While it hasn’t really come into play a lot this season, last season was all about Anne slowly connecting with the town and being suprisingly good with people.. she can be blunt, dosen’t think things through.. but she does have empathy, problem solving and a desire to genuinely help people who need it. It’s a hard trait to learn and it’s one she does with natural ease. It’s a nice bit of showing her character and what she’s good at. Also the message turns out to be “bring the plantars” which.. yeah the second the first clue was bring, even without next episodes description, I could’ve guessed. And they close the episode as all episodes should close.. feeding nachos to a  sewer gator. 

Final Thoughts I:  As you could tell by how easily I sped through it, the episode was...eh. It’s not bad, but no episode of the series has been truly terrible. It honestly, and this kind of complaint is overused, feels like filler. And granted I rarely watch anime, I know cartoons work different.. but this episode feels like it’s just there to provide more Marcy before we focus primarily on the Plantars again, and before the plot turns them against her.  Which isn’t a bad thing mind and she’s great as she was last week.  The problem is Anne. Her feeling down about herself, while a normal human emotion.. just dosen’t jibe with her normal brand of overconfidence. It’s not entirely out of the blue for her not ot feel as smart as marcy, it’s just set up poorly. We could’ve easily used a flashback or something to the human world to help make it feel like a more longstanding issue, than one that just crops up because Polly said a thing after a full episode of her being totally fine with Marcy being way smarter than her. Even the intro has her entirely fine with it. It would’ve flowed better if she played off she was fine, but secretly was trying to one up her and did feel dumber versus that being spelled out so early, as it woudl’ve fit more with the character. So yeah this one’s more just forgetable, a stop gap between two plot important episodes. And I don’t mind catching our breath after the last episode given it was a huge one what with introducing a new major character and a new setting and having a lot of action set pieces, I just know the show can do that BETTER, as seen with HandY Anne following up , if a year after, from the emotionally draining season 1 finale, they just.. didn’t this time and it just flopped a bit, but still had enough nice moments and good bits to make it still enjoyable. 

That’s something I do have to give the show credit on as I have been hard on it, as i’ve said reviwing more forgetable episodes is hard: Most shows don’t make it out of season 1 without at least one terrible episode. OK KO had “Let’s Not Be Skeletons”, Ducktales had “The Beagle Birthday Massacre” (And i’m a huge fan of Lena as a character, just to be clear, her debut episode was terrible for other reasons) , Steven Universe had Arcade Mania,  Adventure Time had “Freak City” and Legend of Korra had “The Spirit of Compettiton”.. and really the whole love triangle plot but that’s a story for another day.. all of these are really..e xcept arcade mania that one’s just dull and pointless. But i’m not: My point is it’s still a really good sign the show hasn’t really flopped over in the span of two seasons, with even the annoying quarallers pass still having some really good stuff to it. I may be critical, because as a critic that’s my job no one pays me for, but I do love this show and want to make it clear it’s still excellent. I’d rather watch this episode again than any episode of “Hoops”.. seriously I have no interest in that show and I question why Jake Johnston thought signing on for it was a good idea. Then again, Keith David was in this

And this

And BOTH of these

So I can’t blame Jake for wanting an easy paycheck when Screen Legend Keith David has done far worse for one. Speaking of Keith David....

The Plantars Check In 

IT’S TIME. 

We’ve had a sample of keith david with the omnoius end from last week but now we get the full package. And i’ve made no secret how much I absolutley love Keith David or how excited I was to see him joint he cast. The main is a voice acting and regular acting legend. Sure he usually does bit parts, but he does the hell out of them. 

The man also has a longer history in disney than I ever realized. While I knew he played Goliath and Dr. Facilier, I had no idea just how much minor voice work he’s done for disney over the decades, doing a LOT of minor roles during the 90′s and even vocing Mufasa in “House of Mouse”, subbing for James Earl Jones which.. yeah if anyone’s the next Jamers Earl Jones, it’s Keith. He’s the king of making a meal out of side rolls and on the ocasions he gets a big one he makes a damn buffet of it, as seen with Gargoyles and Community. 

So yeah, I love the guy and was excited for his first full apperance and pleasantly suprised.  We open at what looks like a comibation of the temple of time and Hyrule Castle for Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time and I swear that’s what their going for with the background music here.  Anyways after Lady Oliva tries to keep things formal, and reveals King Andrias has been king for over a thousand years, which makes things even more interesting, he .. happily hops off the throne, gives the Plantars a friendly greeting and then a bear hug. I was expecting him to be stern yet nice, for now, but this is a nice change of pace and i’ts shown by the way Olvia acts towards this behavior, wishing he’d be proper because “Most unorthodox” and all that monocle popping nonsense, that this is normal for him. So it’s not ENTIRELY an act for their benefit. He is apparently nice to his immediate subjects, vistors and especially Marcy. It’s also lovely to see Keith David play such a diffrent character from his usual villian, stoic badass or hilarious grandpa rolls, instead playing a cheerful and boisterous king. He honestly reminds me a lot fo River from star vs the forces of evil. Which by the way I also love Alan Tuduk and regret not bringing him up in either review river’s been in so far. 

Anyway, we then get some more plot stuff as he meets anne, and we get a nice bit of him doing the “thumb of approval” and marveling at anne’s awkawrd fistbump in response. But it’s down to buisness, he wants to send his loyal knight and new friend he just met home, but needs the box. While anne reveals she don’t got it, with Hop Pop acting nervous as he realizes “oh shit, maybe lying to my surrogate grandaughter about something this important when we’re ont he way to a place where people will naturally want ot see the thing, and STILL not telling her after meeting Marcy and knowing sh’ed want to know about it too has started to backfire!” And yeah while he has sympathetic motives, and clearly knows SOMETHING about the box, and I supsect King Keith David does too but give me a second, his not telling Anne what he did at any time is only going to make it harder to trust him later, especially if Marcy ends up betraying them. He also notices something I actually failed to notice , as did Anne: The colorful stones on the calamity box are drained of color. So the King’s going to have to reserach this for a bit, with Marcy helping obviously and since Anne’s usless at research, the king instead happily treats the plantars to a vacation on him while they sort thigns out: A stay at the nicest hotel in the city, on his dime, and acess to his royal credit card, which given he’s king of everything means he just gave them the unlimited funds code. 

Before we move on, my thoughts on the king: He’s hard to read. I do think he’s genuinely that nice a person.. but he CLEARLY has a dark side, having subjugated the toads and the frogs, which had to have happened under him as he’s first in his line and both remember the status quo as only such. Hop Pop dosen’t even question the way things are or one god king ruling over all for over a thousand years. The question is did he do so because he didn’t know better, because he thought he had to, or because 

I do n’t know what that’s from but expect me to be using it a LOT from now on. My point is it’s hard to tell what his game is here. He could be a cruel asshole masquerading as a fun loving king on the service to sugarcoat his shadier actions.. or he could be a well intentioned extermist, doing awful things for what he sees as the greater good and possibly having lost the plot, or his empathy over thousands of years. Or he genunley could have no idea what he’s planning is bad and see no harm in it due to a different set of morals, again due to being immortal. There’s a LOT of intresting directions they can go with this character and i’m curious to see just what sort of vilian, or possibly good guy all along though I doubt it, he will be and given both grime, more recently i’ll admit but still, and sasha have been complex villians instead of one dimensional assholes, the show will no doubt give us something spectacular. HOpefully i’m not tempting fate but if I am, screw it, i’m rolling those dice. This is going to be godo and I can’t wait.  It’ll also be intresting to see if he genuinely values marcy or is putting on the good king act and puzzles and all that to manipulate her. After all we’ve seen with Sasha that she’s easily manipulated, as far as we can tell, and sees this all as a game.. it’d be easy enough to lead her along by playing int othe genre and her desires to get her to play his game the way he needs her to. Though it’s also a question of if Marcy will see it or back the wrong side... though she MIGHT. while she isn’t great with people, she does know games and half the time a benevolent ally will turn out to be a dick in sheeps clothing. Though i’m hoping that isn’t the case for Marcy. But we’ll see..

Anyways with the first third or so of the episode down, the Plantars Check in, TITLE DROP, and Polly, Anne and Hop Pop all put on comfy robes and relax, while Sprig being sprig wants to go exploring though hop pop refuses to leave him wiht the card because of course he does. And honestly having done a few road trips myself.. yeah usually when you get back to the hotel first you want to just relax and crash, maybe go out for dinner or something with your friends, which they already did ahead of time, and recharge before doing allt he fun vacation stuff. Though I also relate to sprig as I too have been in hotels with arcades and pools from time to time as a kid and a teen and wanted to go do the fun stuff while everyone’s tired. Thankfully I also liked to read or play my various game consoles, from the game boy advance up to the switch on my most recent vacations,so I understand his restlessness.  The rest of the episode goes about how you’d expect, with Sprig taking the card once hteir asleep and adventuring around and getting into various hilarious one off gags via montage, before loosing the card and fighting over it with a Bellhop Named Belle, played byt he always wonderful and always talented Krstien Schal.. about two episodes late for the gravity falls homage but never too late to do some voice acting. Sprig gets the card thanks to futurama caffine bullet time, saves paige and then saves her from firing by talking like a rich kid asshole to save paiges job before collapsing and being woken by everyone else wanting to go do fun shit. 

Final Thoughts 2: This one was better. While again I sped through the recap section this time.. it was funny> While the plot was a simple: kid sneaks out and does something he’s not supposed to yet and gets into trouble and ironic ending and all that, it’s funny enough to be enjoyable, Kristin is game as always, and the gag of Sprig using the card to wave off the snooty man at the counter is great. While most of the meat of hte episode is with the king at the start, the rst of it is still an enjoyable come down episode after the plot heavy first third of this one and marcy at the gates and does the job way better thant he previous episode. While it doen’t have a lot of tie to character or what not, it dosen’t WASTE any either. I didn’t realize till this episode that while sprig certainly hasn’t been unterutlized, he really hasn’t had his own episode this season, sharing Quaraller’s Pass with poly and only having subplots in “A Caravan Named Desire” and “Marcy at the Gates”. Here he gets a plot to himself and while it does nothing for his overal character, it’s entertaining enough, with some great gags like the caffine bullet time, the aformentioned rich people gag and the hair bit being the best “Now to put on my hat!”. It just lets the character loose to have a fun side story. See I can dog on an episode for WASTING a good opprotunity, even if I understand the stress of production and what not.. but I won’t dog one for just having fun and letting a character have the limelight if it’s still entertaining which this was. The problem with say “Scavenger Hunt”, “The Ballad of Hopidiah Plantar”, “A Caravan Named Desire” and “The Ballad of Hopidiah Plantar” is that while their not BAD episodes, they had far more potential. This one knows it’s basically home alone 2 meets blank check, but actually entertaining, and justh as fun with it. Is it hte best episode ever? Probably not. But was it fun and a nice change of pace, as well as relatable to me and thus giving me a bit of the warm fuzzies, especially in this hellscape of our lord 2020? Absolutley.  That does it for this week. if you liked this review i’ve reveiwed the rest of the season so far , just check the Disney tab on my blog, along with many other shows, and i’ll be covering the show weekly for the rest of the season, along with Ducktales when it comes back next month, so follow if you want more of that and random reblogs and such. You can also shoot me an ask if you have any things you want my opinon on, any episodes you want to request or you can direct message me to outright comission an episode of any aimated show for me to review for 5 bucks a review. Either way, till we meet again, bwahahahahaha. 

[unironicallyroyal]

BLOOD OF ZEUS SPOILERS AND FANGIRLING

I just binged “BLOOD OF ZEUS” and I have to say, Netflix is no longer absolute shit. Omfg it was amazing. The intro, animation, voice actors, script. Everything was pure goddamn gold. Every character also had amazing development, but none as amazing as Hera and Zeus. Finally I saw something that addressed those two’s toxic ass relationship that poisons every mortal. Zeus isn’t just this promiscuous piece of shit in this— I mean, he is— but it was really nice to see other dimensions to him. I actually really got into how he was recreated as an annoyingly badass and heroic king. The scene in episode one where he grabs Hera’s hand, winks, then slow spins with her into a living inferno absolutely killed me. For the first time I daydreamed about Zeus in a good light. It’s also fucking great that they didn’t give this redemption thing were it’s like; “Now that my dick has nearly ended the world, I have seen the error of my ways and am ready to be a good husband”. No. They ended the bastard and let him die like a goddamn man. Thank you Netflix. Then Hera, my most hated vengeful bitch, you know I’ve hated her for so long I easily stopped seeing her as a woman who is hurt. Like damn, I actually felt for her— doesn’t excuse the shit she’s done— but I really did pity her. I also appreciate how she just got sick of all of Zeus’ bull and decided to stage a revolution. That is a power move and you can’t change my mind.

But, nothing could be better then Hades showing up at the end. That was... That was cinematic gold.

However, if I do have one complaint it’s that Hades could be way sexier then that but it seems the animators already spilled all that on all the other gods. Did you see Apollo?! I can sell my mortal soul to that man so great job animators.

[justfandomwritings]

Superhero Hunger Games Simulation

special credit to : @juliaguliaa​

Ladies and Gentlemen,  Welcome, to your Second Daily Hunger Games Simulation! This year, our theme is Superheroes! Here are your Tributes! 

Representing District 1, Luxury: For the District only known for being blonde and rich, we have a prince, the blondest of blonde superheroes, and a spy, the fakest of blonde superheroes....

Thor and Black Widow! 

Representing District 2, Masonry, Weaponry and Peacekeepers: The only two superheroes I trust to lead an army....

Captain America and Wonder Woman! 

Representing District 3, Technology: A literal machine and the girl who deconstructed him....

Vision and Shuri! 

Representing District 4, Fishing and Water: The king of fish and the queen of making it rain....

Aquaman and Storm! 

Representing District 5, Power: A guy who solved the world’s energy crisis while in a cave and a girl who got blasted with the literal source of all power in the universe....

Iron Man and Captain Marvel!

Representing District 6, Transportation: He outran your train there, and she just teleported the train because she was sick of waiting in the station....

Flash and Raven! 

Representing District 7, Lumber: I am Groot, I am Groot, I am Groot....

Groot and Layla Williams (from Sky High)

Representing District 8, Textiles: The most fashionable superhero on Earth and the girl named after a fabric....

Shang Chi and Silk! 

Representing District 9, Grains: They’re still in Kansas, and they won’t leave damnit....

Superman and Supergirl! 

Representing District 10, Livestock: The only two superheroes we trust not to eat the produce, because they turn into the produce....

Beast Boy and Vixen!

Representing District 11, Agriculture: Look Katniss, she wouldn’t have let Rue die. 

Okoye and the Falcon! 

Representing District 12, Mining: A literal rock, and a much better shot than Katniss

The Thing and Kate Bishop!

Day One 

The Thing would be good at hiding, my man can just ball up next to a cliff and then boom boulder. BEAST BOY YOU ARE NOT OLD ENOUGH TO DRINK THAT ALCOHOL YOU JUST STOLE. Though, I’m loving the girl power of Kate Bishop, Wonder Woman, Okoye, also some inter-universe cooperation. 

AQUAMAN YOU LITERALLY DON’T NEED BAIT TO CATCH FISH YOU CAN MAKE THEM JUMP IN YOUR HAND, DUMBASS.

Poor Vixen, I am both surprised by your death because you are a badass, and unsurprised because I don’t think you have it in you to kill a hero.

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Captain Marvel stalks Layla Williams, understandably. She is beautiful, but also she is an unknown quantity. No one else in the Games can vouch for her. What does she do? Who is she? No one knows. None of them have even heard of Sky High.

Supergirl receives fresh food from a sponsor. Her secret? That sponsor is Lex Luthor. 

“Beast Boy sprains his ankle running away from Thor” is the most Beast Boy sentence of sentences I have ever read in my life. 

Flash searches for firewood; I don’t know why this is worthy of note. It took him two seconds; he’s damn quick.

Superman was far too powerful a character to put in this game. He easily cut through Kate Bishop. He’s clearly in a frenzy desperately searching for his cousin, or no doubt he would have spared Kate. 

Black Widow does not share Superman’s mercy. She kills people. End of sentence. 

Shuri is chasing Okoye to try to find an ally. Okoye has not looked back over her shoulder. She’s running for her life. If she looked back, she’d know she didn’t need to run. 

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Rest in peace, my dears. 

Though, I guess this proves my intro wrong about Okoye. She damn sure let Kate Bishop face Supes alone and die.

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Night One

Beast Boy screams for help, hoping his fellow Teen Titan, Raven, will hear him. Raven hears him. She just doesn’t bother coming, because she knows he’ll talk her ear off.

Thor and his friend, a tree, sleep in shifts with two other people they stumble upon in the woods. Layla naturally gravitates towards the tree. 

Wonder Woman screams for help from the goddesses. Captain Marvel keeps trying to start a fire, but she keeps accidentally blowing up the logs. Shuri and Falcon are actually sitting on opposite sides of the same tree. They keep hearing humming in the distance and harmonizing with it, assuming they’re losing their own minds. 

Superman, naturally, defeats Raven, but as he does, he sees his cousin and thus, his craze has ended and he spares her life. Supergirl is munching on some apples that Lex Luthor sent her when she sees her cousin choking a teenager to death with his bare hands. 

Tony and Natasha consider putting together an Avengers alliance with Vision and Thor and teaming up on these ‘weirdos from another universe’. Unfortunately, Thor is also a weirdo from another universe himself, though with a different definition of universe. He’s just an alien; they’re from a differen reality. 

Okoye could start a fire, but she worries her enemies may see the smoke. She’s tough. She doesn’t mind the cold.

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Day Two

Beast Boy picks flowers, because Beast Boy. 

Captain America stumbles upon the Flash while he’s sleeping and shoots this unknown man with a poisonous dart. The poison works slowly, but the Flash’s circulatory system is very fast. When Cap comes forward to put him peacefully out of his misery, the Flash is already dead. 

Groot hears a rustling behind him. He thinks it is the plant lover girl from the day before. He didn’t like her. He got the impression she could control his entire body. Groot swings, not realizing its Shuri and kills her. 

Black Widow receives a hatchet from Nick Fury. Iron Man leaves her looking for firewood; he considers cutting off a piece of Groot’s leg. 

Thor tracks down and kills Raven because Loki’s symbolic animal is often a Raven and he isn’t about to let her steal his Bro’s thunder. Okoye kills Falcon with a hatchet. It wasn’t a mistake. His quips were annoying her.

Superman steals the note that came with his cousin’s free food. It’s a love letter from Lex Luthor. He’s fucking pissed. 

Aquaman kills the plant girl. He likes water more than land, so they were natural enemies. 

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Groot would apologize Shuri, but you don’t speak Groot to know what he’s apologizing for. Okoye doesn’t feel sorry about Sam dying. He was annoying her. 

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Night Two

Supergirl runs away from Superman because he’s giving her a dad lecture about her choices. They both quickly find new allies: Superman with the girl who controls the weather that he doesn’t recognize and the boy he tried to kill in that one crossover movie. Supergirl with some hot soldier, and she’s not complaining.

Groot, in a rage of guilt, is roaring through the forest, not seeing anything as he attacks the first camp he stumbles upon. Tony manages to kill Groot, but he catches Black Widow in the crossfire. 

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Day Three 

Tony gets medical supplies from Pepper. Thor sees a hot chick and decides to follow her around the arena for a bit; he’s been lonely since Jane left him after all. T’Challa sends Okoye a hatchet. He intended her to use it to kill the tree that killed Shuri, but Groot was dead by the time it got there. He’ll settle for her using it to chop the trees body into firewood. Beast Boy injures himself doing something stupid and reckless; he may win these Games just because he’s too dumb to find anyone else.

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A tsunami hits the arena. 

Superman flies off. Storm flies off. Thor flies off. Vision just floats over the top of the wave like a jackass. 

The Thing is actually the debris that hit him. He punched himself in the head while trying to swim away. 

Cap and Tony come upon each other. Cap’s foot is trapped in a tree that he was sleeping under. Tony has accidentally killed Natasha, and he can’t bare to watch another Avenger die. He drowns trying to free Cap, who also drowns. 

Supergirl and Captain Marvel are both just super hard headed. When they collided it was like a damn earthquake. Of course they both died. 

Wonder Woman doesn’t fly off, but she grew up on an island. She’s a damn good swimmer. Okoye, however, is not. What can she do? Wakanda was a landlocked country! She’s not a god! She can’t fly! Blame Thor! He could’ve grabbed her, and he didn’t.

Beast Boy didn’t actually mean to drown Shang Chi. He was just looking for something to stand on. 

Spoiler alert, everyone watching thinks the Capitol caused the tsunami as an arena event. It wasn’t the Capitol. It was Aquaman. 

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It’s probably for the best that Tony died so close after Natasha. He really wouldn’t have lived with the guilt.

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Night 3

As founding members of the Justice League, when Wonder Woman and Aquaman find each other they naturally team up.

Storm sings Singing in the Rain.

Thor and Superman are both exhausted. They have to sleep by now. Superman does so crying; his cousin is dead and the last conversation they had was an argument about her love affair with Lex Luthor. 

Vision is still floating like a jackass. He hears Storm singing and decides to sing himself. He sings all of Spotify. His brain is a computer after all.

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Nothing interesting happens at the Cornucopia Feast. They all decide to stay home or get one thing before they leave.

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Day Four

That’s a big ass hunting party. Who the hell were they hoping to find? Every time Beast Boy hears them stopping around he just turns into a moth, and Superman is secretly guiding them all away from Wonder Woman when he sees her with his super vision.

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Night Four

OOOOO Things are heating up.... Wonder Woman and Superman. Is it simply for comfort and warmth or something more....? SHIPS! SET SAIL! 

The unknown sponsor Storm receives clean water from is herself. She just makes it rain.

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Day Five

Play fighting got out of hand in Camp Justice League.

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Thor flies off. Beast Boy is in moth form and flies off. Vision floats like a bitch again.

Storm is swept away in her sleep. She controls the water, not the fucking ocean. 

Wonder Woman surprises Superman in his sleep when she wakes him up to save him from the tsunami. Superman is suffering from nightmares after what happened to Supergirl. He heat visions straight through Diana’s head before she can lift her bracelets to stop him. He leaves her body to be washed away, ashamed to touch her.

Aquaman secretly caused the tsunami again. Superman is going to kill him for it.

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There aren’t any X-Men to mourn Storm... And the Justice League guys are trying to kill each other... So.... There’s not really much they’d say.

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Day 6

Beast Boy manages to convince Superman not to kill him. It doesn’t take a lot of convincing. Superman is a heart of gold soul. Except when his back is turned, Boom! Beast Boy has been using his green outfit and green skin to hide the fact that he’s got kryptonite. Superman dies before he can get his revenge on Aquaman for the tsunamis.

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RIP Supes. No one in the Hunger Games is mourning you, but I will. Mostly because I chose a Henry Cavill Superman icon, and Henry didn’t deserve to die in two of these.

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Night 6

OH MY GOD DID BEAST BOY KILL SUPERMAN TO PROTECT HIS GAY LOVE FOR AQUAMAN!?!?! It would make sense! He can turn into a fish. Aquaman likes fish.

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Day 7

It was all an act! This whole time! Beast Boy was only playing at incompetence in the beginning to be underestimated. 

Beast Boy has defeated Thor. No doubt he used the trick of faking sympathy and emotion until Thor was close enough to stab. Beast Boy would probably be friends with Loki to learn that trick from Avengers 1.

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One night and one day pass without consequence.....

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Night 8

Beast Boy is apparently in love with Aquaman. No doubt from the time Aquaman spent on Teen Titans back when he was a B-List superhero. 

He begs Aquaman to kill him. He can’t live in a world without him. He’s willing to die so Aquaman can live.

Aquaman doesn’t know this, not that he would care. Beast Boy’s love is not returned. Still, as far as Aquaman knows, Beast Boy is riddled with guilt at killing Superman. Aquaman ends him.

Vision watches all of this from a distance.

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Day 9 

Beast Boy’s sacrifice is in vain. 

Vision, using his Mind Infinity Stone no doubt, convinces Aquaman not to kill him. He kills Aquaman instead.

Tragedy.

Truly.

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[winterbites]

(Major JoJo's Bizarre Adventure anime spoiler warning) My review of...

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders and Battle in Egypt (I'm counting them as one whole season but as two parts) is, admittedly, my least favorite season of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. 48 episodes long across the two parts, the show is definitely enjoyable but I personally wouldn't watch it again for anything other than a few cool fights. However, once again showing his viewers just how crazy his work can and will get, Akari makes JoJo's Bizarre Adventure even more bizarre starting with this season. For this review, I'm going going to take both parts into consideration. As usual, I'm going to keep my review as neutral as possible even if Stardust Crusaders isn't a top pick for me.

Unlike its predecessors, Stardust Crusaders has no narrator for the majority of the season, only showing up to speak the occassional thoughts of characters or animals. Akari always keeping things fresh, I think this is good for the show; we're no longer in the past so we don't need a narrator to tell us events as they happen in front of us.

First, I'm going to talk about the new element Akari brings into JoJo's Bizarre Adventure with Stardust Crusaders: Stands. An absolutely badass idea, Akari plays with this new element of the show beautifully. Unlike many other shounen manga/anime, the ability to control a Stand isn't solely about who has the biggest dick energy attack, but instead Akari turns the tables and uses the Stands for strategic battles; this way, it doesn't actually matter who's stronger or weaker, but instead who's smarter (which very much counteracts the art style of buff men quite nicely). Due to the Stands and mental/wit battles instead of physical battles the way it usually is in the shounen genre, JoJo's Bizarre Adventure takes a very unique turn for the better and works incredibly well given the context of the series.

Now lemme tell ya about the intros: I LOVE the both of them, and I'll start with Stand Proud from the first part of the season. So much energy, wonderfully timed visuals and the fantastic 3D-looking 2D animation; there is nothing about this intro that I don't like. It's ranked as my second favorite intro in terms of song choice, is tied for my number one in terms of visuals, and is tied for my favorite in terms of sound effects. The beautifully drawn night sky, the small addition of sketched art, the subtle hints of enemy Stands in the background, and the background constantly changing in such drastic ways are such terrifyingly engaging imagery that it makes me cry tears of happiness. Not to mention the hard to see hint of Dio at the end, only people who are active on-lookers or were shown that he's there at all will see him. I also love that, in the beginning of the intro, you see 5 stars, alluding to our 5 main characters, but then a 6th star appears, which alludes to Holly Joestar still sick in Japan. Also, the physics of Jotaro's chain and shadow is absolutely ravishing, it's little effects like that that really get me going, as well as the gradual breaking of glass at the end of the intro. The entire sequence is a masterpiece by my standards, truly a job well done.

Now, as for the second intro, I don't like it as much as the first one but it's still great in its own right. I adore the mixing of vocals, going from hard rock to the softer sounding male and then mixing them both for a wonderful Ora Ora Ora duet. I lean in towards my computer screen each time I watch the intro because the fast moving visuals are so enrapturing, not to mention you can see subtle changes in the faces of the characters and their body stance between the fast-paced frames. There's even one point where the group is lined up and the beat strikes, quickly switching them out for their Stands before swiftly changing to the next image. I also admire the way the credits are so well integrated into the intro, jumping and spiking along with the enthusiastic beat, emphasizing the song without being in the way. And when Dio uses his ZA WARUDO to stop time during the second version of this intro, I go into orgasmic bliss because it's so awesome; you can even see that piss bucket SMIRK while hearing his soft footfalls and I love it. Once again, there is nothing that I don't love about this intro.

Just like with Phantom Blood, there isn't much I can say about the soundtrack as a whole, but is fantastic in that it reflects the current situation and could easily switch up its beat when a battle turned.

As for the outros, I love Walk Like an Egyptian and its spirited inspiration, beat and vocals (fantastic job by the Bangles). There's no song quite like Walk Like an Egyptian so it's always a win in my book whenever it's used, especially in such a fitting case. I don't really like the second outro because, unlike every other intro/outro of the series, Last Train Home is a more somber or melancholy song, which doesn't really fit the show in my opinion. It's certainly a nice sounding song, but I'm just not crazy about it.

As for the characters, while I don't like them as much as other characters from other seasons, they certainly aren't bad either; we even get to see character development throughout both parts. Some characters become more mature, more level-headed and smarter with situations, and each person is internally unique as exemplified by their Stand. Some were more likable than others but, in general, the cast was pretty damn cool.

Now that I'm done gushing about all the things I love about this season, I'm gonna gush about the things that made me dislike this season more than the others, and I'm gonna start with the female side character Anne. This girl... did absolutely nothing throughout the show. In her defense, she didn't get in the way of the characters, but she didn't do anything for them either. She was even dropped out of the group halfway through the first part of the season, being inconsequential the whole way through. There was also some kind of weird sexualization going about her too: her age is never stated but she's definitely prepubescent (given the dialogue, she's probably 11 or 12 years old) but she had the body of a teenager and fawned over Jotaro. Once again in her defense, young girls fantasizing about older men (I personally enjoy the company of older men as they tend to be financially stable and more responsible) and having more developed bodies compared to their peers isn't odd at all; instead, it's actually very normal and healthy. However, Jotaro is 17, which is a lot older and, generally, the older the man (or woman) is the weirder it gets.

Speaking of sexualizing little girls, I want to turn attention to the Strength Stand user orangutan, Forever. This literal animal had the hots for Anne, and tried to do stuff to her that I can only describe as attempted rape, so that was a thing. Obviously, that's some fucked up shit that wasn't actually necessary to the story since Jotaro found out about Forever anyway and beat the shit out of him.

Next is, once again, Dio's motives. I love Dio, I really do, but he's just not that much of a well-explained character. His goal is explicitly stated this time around: he wants to rule the world. Fantastic, but WHY does he want to rule it? Who knows, it's never said why.

My next problem is with the villains of the show, they all seemed the same and reused to me. While each Stand (expect for two that did legit the exact same thing of stealing souls and putting them into objects) was unique given the user, whenever they were defeated they did one of two things: they either begged for forgiveness, which would always result in getting the snot beat out of them, or they swore their absolute loyalty to Dio (less of them did this) and died. Some of them would run away, but all of them (save for two Stand Users) never made another appearance, so most of them were just throw away characters.

Finally, my biggest problem is with Iggy, the last party member in our group of main characters who showed up at the beginning of Battle in Egypt. I know Akari wanted to make an animal Stand user to be a part of the cast and I know that Iggy was dragged out to Egypt against his will, but that doesn't make him any less of an infuriating character. For nearly the entire season, I absolutely hated Iggy: he was more useless than Anne as he intentionally turned his head the other way when the group was in trouble and/or DYING, he tried to sell Jotaro out to save his own skin as soon as he was introduced, and he had the absolute worst ambition of any of the characters in that he basically just wanted to be a pimp. After getting fucking up by an avian Stand user that totally should have won the fight (the finishing icicle appeared so much more slowly than all the other volleys, plot armor truly is invincible) and getting his leg dismembered, Iggy finally stepped up to the plate that he probably should have been on to begin with and earned my respect. Seriously, why would you so eagerly make an animal Stand user only to not use him for the entire show and then kill him off when he's barely shown what he can do? It makes no sense and it's so frustrating.

However, Akari truly has magic hands because as soon as Iggy actually started doing something, he immediately became a badass in my book and I cried another river to his death.

Speaking of deaths, just as a side note, why kill Avdol, bring him back, only to kill him again? As I understand it, Akari killed off Avdol the first time around but then realized that if he was going to kill a main character, he should probably make that character more important. But then Avdol died again and his death still felt insignificant. A good opportunity to learn on Akari's part, but I feel like bringing Avdol back to life didn't make much sense either.

[062467]

Rammstein Tag Game!

Rules: - Tag the person who tagged you, so they know. - Put your answers under the questions. - Tag as many awesome people as you want. - Feel free to do it if you weren’t tagged! Here we go!

I don’t remember who I was tagged by, this draft post is like 3 years old i’m sorry haha

1. If you get a chance to take a photo with your favorite member, would you like them to smile, make an interesting pose, be serious or something else?

I would honestly love them to smile, there’s nothing more precious than them, six men who do pyro, sing about eating humans and generally seem badass and scary, smiling.

2. If you could choose only one of the previous live performances to go to, which one would you choose?

opening of the Mutter tour, or the one when they played Lied von der unruhevollen Jugend or Pet Sematary. honestly, i’d just blind pick one of these.

3. How old were you when Sehnsucht came out? (1997)

-3:) kill me now

4. Which era (their appearance/look) do you think was the best?

MUTTER, THE RED FLÄMIN HOT CHEETO TIPS. or just the general full-on fed hair thing. but Reise, Reise was also flaming hot.

5. What’s your desired relationship with Frau Schneider? (wife, mother, etc.)

I feel like she’d be this one annoying aunt, who you love despite them being irritating as shit. love me some Frau.

6. Which hairstyle suits each member the best in your opinion?

Paul: the long hair, doesn’t matter if blonde or brown Till: his Herzeleid hair or the silver-ish Sehnsucht Richard: spiky black, like Ich-Will-video level spiky black. but I live for richard in long-ish hair... Flake: blonde Oliver: hehe. no but seriously a full beard suits him. Schneider: I feel like now is my favorite Schneider era. that or either the Sehnsucht one.

7. Which of the members do you think you’d get along with the best and why?

either Paul, because I’m a goofy mess, but can pose as intimidating, or Richard, because I’d constantly express my admiration for him. and he’d love that. on a serious note tho, I feel like we have some problems in common, as well as the supernatural thingy would be an interesting topic to tackle. idk, I’d do my best to get along with all of them.

8. Which of the members do you think you’d get along with the least and why?

probably Flake, Oliver or Till. I heard that Flake is cranky and seems shy, same with Oli, I’m shy too, so idk if any conversation would ever take place haha. and with Till I’d simply be too damn scared to say a thing. so there’s that. basically we wouldn’t *dislike* each other, there would be barely any contact lol

9. Who of the members would you like to see singing with Till?

hell, maybe Ollie or Doom, just because I never heard them sing with him, I think.

10. Which band’s song would you wish to see as a cover by Rammstein?

idk, they always kinda surprised me with their cover choices and execution, so I wouldn’t like to change that, they’re doing a good job.

11. Who of the members would make the best dad?

something tells me that Schneider is a really caring dad.

12. If you got the chance to interview Rammstein, what would you ask them?

how do you pick you setlist? what qualifies a track to be an opener?

do you come up with stage and outfits concept yourself, or is it suggested by someone else?

what flavor of ice cream would you be?

what is your most vivid memory from your childhood?

which era is your favorite?

do you have a vision of a music video for a song that never got one? or a different vision than the music video it got?

I’d rather not write all of it here. not because they’re inappropriate or something, it’s just, I don’t even wanna start writing some of them, because I’m gonna cry lmao.

13. Would you consider of doing a nude scene in Rammstein’s music video? (just you appearing nude, nothing too nsfw)

I mean, if course I’d consider it. it would depend on my shape at the time and just on that probably. doing acts and nude scenes is, supposedly, very liberating and makes you more comfortable with yourself, so why not. and hey - I’d be in a Rammstein video haha. (I’d probably not like the way I look and hate myself a bit for doing the scene)

14. If you could remake a movie(s) so that the main role is played by one of the members, which movie(s) would you like to remake?

my favorite movies are always pretty tragic or scary as fuck for the main character, so idk if I’d like to see any of the members in such state.

15. Who of the members would make the best husband?

I will go with Flake or Ollie

16. You can put eyeliner on one of the members, who do you pick?

well, Richard, obviously, since he doesn’t seem to do it anymore (which should be considered a crime, he looks so good in eyeliner jeez).

17. Who of the members would make the creepiest uncle?

Till. all the way lmao. like, imagine him on family gatherings doing all the hips and tongue movements aaaa.

18. What do you think about the “Pussy” music video?

I love it, it’s so funny to me. when I watch it, it’s always a mixture of being a tad uncomfortable, turned on and giggly.

19. If you could travel somewhere with Rammstein and pick a destination, where would you go?

I’d go to the place where they had the whole creative process (and recording, I believe) of LIFAD or Mutter. I’d just like to kinda re-live it with them.

20. Who of the members would be the best to get drunk with?

I’d love to get hammered with Paulchen.

21. Could you sing Engel with Till in front of thousands?

hell yeah, this is one of the few songs I feel comfortable singing. I’d love to do that even more if it was done like on 2019 stadium tour, on the b-stage, only with piano and rest of the group humming. ahh.

22. With which member would you agree to swap clothes with and with which one would you definitely not?

if we’re talking personal style, Paul has some poppin outfits, from what I’ve seen, Richard and his shirts, however... I would just let him rock them:)

now if we’re talking stage outfits, I’d LOVE to switch with Richard (especially the fluffy coat), there’s not really a person I wouldn’t switch with, as long as they’re not topless haha.

23. Which of the members do you think would win in a stripping competition?

Richard.

24. Which of the following would you rather be?

- Rammstein’s manager - Rammstein’s make up artist 🙋🏻‍♀️ - Rammstein’s bodyguard

25. Which of the members would make the best best friend?

Paul.

26. Which Rammstein song do you skip on your shuffle? (There must be that one song you just don’t need at the moment)

Stirb nicht vor mir. I’m sorry but I rarely can stomach it. it’s a nice song in theory, but there’s just something about it that I can’t stand, maybe it’s the other artist’s voice, I don’t know.

27. What would you do if Paul made a bad joke about you? (With good intentions but slightly rude)

I’d laugh and pretend to be offended for a quick second haha

28. Who would you give a stuffed animal and who a leather thong for their birthday? XD

I’d give the animal to Flake and the thong to Till.

29. Are you concerned about anything that has to do with Rammstein?

I’m always scared for them tbh. oftentimes I’m just petrified at the thought of stage/pyro malfunction, I mean what they’re doing is some really dangerous stuff.

besides, I’m scared when I think that they won’t be here forever, sometimes I’m scared that they won’t be there when I’ll be in my 30s, so I’m grateful for every moment I can cherish them and their craft, for every minute at the shows.

30. Would you like to get a tattoo that refers to Rammstein?

yeah, I’d like a couple.

31. Would you pet Oliver’s head?

who tf wouldn’t like to?

32. Which position in Rammstein do you find the hardest to be? (for example: the frontman, drummer, bassist etc.)

probably frontman, lots and lots of pressure, most eyes are probably on them, they have to use most dangerous props and move a lot, so it takes a physical toll as well.

33. If you could have one of the members with you in school/work to protect you from evil, who would you take?

oh damn, that’s an interesting one. Richard, Is love to have him around.

34. If you were in one of the boys position, would you feel awkward or strange when you see your face on a giant poster?

of course, I’d hate it, probably. after sometime tho, I’d get used to it.

35. Would you Flake dance with Flake on stage?

if only I could dance like him haha, but I’d love to try!

36. Do you think any of the songs are underrated or overrated and why?

obviously I think Du hast is a tad overrated, as for underrated - Nebel, Adios, Hilf mir, Dalai Lama, just off the top of my head.

37. Who of the members would make the best breakfast?

I’m gonna go with Ollie, he’s so stoic and always in great shape.

38. Would you like them to make a song in your native language? (If they haven’t already)

hm, Till made an intro to polish edition of Sehnsucht and it was very sweet to hear it, but I don’t think so, no. if it was like in Ausländer, one or two words, sure, but I never want to get over the excitement of Till speaking Polish haha.

39. Which Rammstein couple combinations do you ship?

I don’t I mean I love all the sweet moments they share, but I get a bit uncomfortable when people make it out to be a bigger thing than it is. of course I love to joke around about their bromances, but it’s as far as it gets tbh.

40. Would you join Richard in his spray tanning hour?

I mean, damn, I love being pale-ish, but we’d have to be barely clothed while in there, right...?

RIGHT...?

41. What Rammstein possession are you most fond of? (merchandise, album or other)

probably the Völkerball photo album, I love it. I particularly like to go to the index and search for pictures from Poland, it makes me very emotional.

42. Favorite song performed live?

Heirate mich or Was ich liebe.

43. Would you dare to touch Frau Schneider’s hair?

I’d beg her to allow me to.

44. Rammstein with beard? Yes/No

yes, except from Richard and Flake.

45. Which of the members would be the best for playing video games with?

Paulie or Ollie.

46. Red haired Rammstein or blonde Rammstein?

oh shit oh fuck, I’m gonna go with blonde just because red tips Rammstein>redhead Rammstein.

47. Favorite interview with one or all Rammstein members?

Viva Jam 1998, still have a copy on my computer, it’s my first and favorite interview.

48. Would you Till hammer with Till on stage?

what are these questions, of course I would.

49. Your favorite feature in each member?

Paul: smile creases Schneider: smile! Flake: I love his whole face, it’s so calming Till: eyes and lips, can’t choose Oliver: his chest and him being a friggin giant Richard: tummy and lisp (I hope it can be considered a feature)

50. If you could write a letter to Rammstein what would you write?

some cheesy shit I will not share here.

I tag @amura @gay-pengy @beauty-at-matrix @naraism @followthecreeper

[foxish-draws]

Mk, I feel like I need to just get this off my chest so I can stop thinking about it. XD 

So. The Reunion short. Short answer: It’s ok. 

(Too Damn) Long Answer:

Well – the primary feeling I’m experiencing is disappointment. :/ See though, I don’t want to let it ruin my weekend. So I figure, I’ll break down my feelings about it and then that’ll make it easier to just focus on what I DID like. Because a lot of things in life I have no control over how shit it’s going to make my day, but I do here. I don’t HAVE to be sour, it was not THAT bad and I have expenses and work and life to deal with, I can manage to hold THIS of all things at a distance from my mental stability. 

SO. What I did like. The animation is gorgeous, as usual. I love all the little nuances, McCree’s movements and reloads, and the fight scene overall was really cool. The beginning was slick and I liked his reveal. It was a good demonstration of McCree’s personality: he’s casual, charming, prefers not to fight if he doesn’t have to, clever/quick thinking even in a gunfight, has a distinctly different flavor of charming cowboy he takes on when he’s dealing with friends vs enemies. 

That’s what all makes it overall an ok short for me. Problem is, put up against literally every other short, it is sorely lacking. Which is moderately unfair, comparing them, but when you do so much solid work so consistently, the ‘just ok’ one really sticks out. Reunion’s greatest crime for me was its disappointing lack of story/character development. Yes, yes, I know, everybody’s mad about McCree’s skin tone, yes I think it was a bit too far on the lighter side, considering what his game model looks like, but that one doesn’t hit as hard for me. Of course it would have been nice to have him a few shades darker (at least for consistency’s sake) but that doesn’t make him any less of whatever race anybody head canons him as. My brother has the same half hispanic blood that I do, but he looks like your standard issue White Boy™. BUT WHAT ABOUT THE NO HOMO?? Well, I’m not struck too much by that one either? McCree’s a tiny bit flirty with Ashe, if only for that wink, but that’s like a trope kinda thing. He’s the dashing rogue, distracting people with his charms as he goes about his agenda. Also, even with Echo at the end – I don’t really read any of that as “McCree is clearly romantically invested in this female shaped creature.” And maybe it’s just a personal thing, I tend to always read relationship cues as platonic unless something more blatant happens. Also, I don’t care if he’s canon into the ladies. Maybe he likes both! Either way, when has canon ever stopped fans from shipping a thing? XD Honestly, I don’t think for one second Blizz would make McHanzo canon, the most I’m legitimately hoping for is that they can at least be best bros. I will be pleasantly surprised if they somehow become an item™ but I feel like friends is the best I can realistically hope for.  

So the actual source of my disappointment. The story. I have a massive craving for story any given day of the week, and I fell in love with these characters. That’s why Overwatch is the first major fan fic binge I’ve ever experienced in life, I love these characters and I have such a NEED for story. That and character development are my most favorite things. The shorts have always been really good for both of these, a compelling narrative and/or a satisfying exploration of a character. Plus they always look amazing. Selling us on the world and the characters has always been what the shorts were for. But this one – this one was to introduce new characters. And not like – in a good way, cause that’s technically what they were for when the very first ones came out before the game launched. I think the fatal flaw of Reunion, in terms of story, was that it wanted me to be equally invested in McCree and Ashe. McCree has had a ton of backstory nuggets, character interactions, and 2 years to develop knowledge and affection for his character. Ashe is brand, shiny, new and you can’t stick McCree in there with a badass intro and expect me to be as interested in her as I am in him. And in this short, I know more about HER motivations that I do HIS. I don’t know why that crate is important, I don’t know what he wants to do with it, I don’t even know what his present day goals are at all. But I know Ashe is there for money. My investment in McCree is wholly based on things I already knew going in, I don’t know what the stakes are outside that Ashe clearly wants to kill him. Is there a world ending weapon in that crate? Is that why I should care if he gets it or not? No idea. And I know that’s the point, kinda, but it feels like a miscalculation. All because Ashe is supposed to have equal footing with McCree. And she can’t, because all I know about her is that she wants money and doesn’t like McCree. Well, yeah, if she’s Deadlock, they want money and don’t like McCree, we knew that already. And then he wakes Echo up and I’m hit with another character I can’t care about because I have been given no reason to other than McCree is her friend. But I have no frame of reference for this friendship so I can’t attach any investment to it. I want to know who and what she is, not because I’m excited about her, but because I want to know why I should care in relation to the character I came here for. And of course the whole thing ends without us learning anything about what McCree’s end goal currently is, why it’s more important than answering Winston, or even fun flash backs to any relevant event like maybe the Blackwatch raid he got caught in or how he lost his arm. 

So that’s my big long ass dissertation on why I think I was disappointed with the short. I wanted to get some world building or character development, that’s what I was super excited for. But I didn’t learn anything I didn’t already know, and what WAS new was confusing or I didn’t understand why I should care. Because they had to take time to try to introduce Ashe and establish her place in the world, her personality, her motivations, there wasn’t any left over to move McCree’s development any further, or even the world itself. I think there were ways they could have introduced her in a McCree centric story that didn’t sacrifice all that – but to do so, she couldn’t have had equal focus. Cause you can’t stand any new character next to McCree and have me instantly care about them equally, when I know a lot about him and nothing about them. 

[scrawnydutchman]

Paradise P.D: Animated Series Review

I’ve reviewed a lot of animated - and live action - shows and movies on my blog. Nearly everything I’ve felt the need to comment on has been seen in a positive light. I don’t shy away from harsh criticism nor do I actively avoid notably poor content; it just so happens that the things I’m most interested in discussing are things I have mainly positive comments on. Paradise PD has come along to break the mold. The genuine disgust I have for this series is a first for me. I hate this show. This is quite possibly the worst show I’ve ever given a complete watch. The characters are either heinously cruel or insultingly generic. The premise is cookie cutter and derivative as hell. The humor is forced, predictable and just depressing more often than funny. The animation . . . . oh God, the animation. I’ve had non flavored rice cakes with more taste than this show. It’s like anti-creativity. Even as I’m typing this Ii’m getting riled up just thinking about it again. Alright, let me calm down. Let’s break this show down piece by piece, starting with the writing.

Writing

*ugh, the animation in these gifs is terrible. I’ll get to it when I get to it.*

Synopsis: Kevin Crawford is an aspiring young police officer who is determined to prove himself to his dad, Chief Randall Crawford of the Paradise PD. Chief Crawford has a hard time trusting his son because of a firearms accident that occurred when Kevin was very young (the less details you know about that the better) but his ex wife mayor Karen Crawford forces Randall to bring Kevin into the department anyway. Kevin thus joins a motley crew of  . . .ahem . . . “”””hilarious””””” cops including Gina; the badass uber violent super cop who’s both the sex appeal of the show and has a fetish for morbidly obese men (yes, seriously), Gerald Fitzgerald; the Cleveland Brown of this show who’s basically just a well mannered  token black guy, Dusty Marlow; the morbidly obese innocent cop whom Gina constantly harasses sexually (and yet when male characters harass her on the show she threatens to beaten them for pervy comments, so . . . hypocrite), Stanley Hopson; an elderly officer whose whole schtick is being senile and doing gross shit . .  and finally Brian Griffin-I mean Bullet; the canine unit who’s also a drug addict . . . and being a drug addict is basically his whole shtick. They get into a bunch of wacky shenanigans, a lot of gross stuff ensues, yadda yadda yadda

So admittedly, this isn’t a bad premise for a show of this style. If Brooklyn 99 has proven anything it’s that a police department is a great and refreshing setting for a sitcom with tons of potential for jokes as well as diverse characters having great chemistry with each other. Plus it’s an archetype I don’t see very much of (I’d like to point out that I consider this different from the “buddy cop” archetype which is literally everywhere, because rather than focus on two cops it involves an entire precinct). This show is kind of like if Seth Macfarlane made a Family Guy spinoff centered around Joe Swanson (except that sounds a million times more amazing). But while Paradise PD sounds like a good concept for a show on paper, it’s execution is poorer than poor. Ironically for being such an off-the-beaten-path premise for a sitcom the show doesn’t take very much advantage of it. It’s not like the case in every episode is particularly interesting and it’s certainly not like Archer or Brooklyn 99 where the humor comes from the mundane nature of the job that nobody really talks about (filing a lot of paper work and performing basic job duties). Instead it’s premises about banging police cars that have AIs that behave like abusive girlfriends . . .which is a premise we’ve seen before. Or it’s about a father not understanding his child’s hobbies . . .which is a premise we’ve seen before. Or it’s about a fighter being overly confident in the ring only for his cohorts to discover he’s rigged to lose in the next fight . . . which is a premise we’ve seen before. Here lies the biggest problem of this show: it’s so rinse and repeat it’s insulting. For every episode this series has at the moment I guarantee the Simpson’s  has done it and has done it better. Or Bob’s Burgers has done it. Or Archer has done it. Or Brooklyn 99 has done it. Hell, Family Guy and American Dad are the most comparable shows to this besides Brickleberry for obvious reasons and as much as I have distaste for those shows even they do these recycled premises more justice than Paradise PD does. Basically the only thing giving this show a real identity is it’s intense gross out visuals which, given this shows shockingly limited animation style, gets stale very quickly. But what is Paradise PD missing that all those shows have in common (besides maybe Family Guy/American Dad)? The answer of course is likable characters.

Characters

*it’s worth mentioning that the intro is the only bit of decent animation this show has. In fact it’s deceivingly good. Be patient . . . I’m getting there.*

If the synopsis I gave at the beginning is any indication it’s that every character suffers from one of two problems; they’re either intensely unlikable or are bland overly used archetypes . . . sometimes both. Gerald Fitzgerald, Dusty Harlow, Stanley Hopson and Bullet are all archetypes you can find in every animated sitcom ever made. It’s the token black guy, the morbidly obese dumbass, the senile old man and the drug addict/self centered misogynist. They all have one joke and one joke only dedicated to each of them. They are walking talking punchlines. So is every character in this show, though everyone else to a lesser extent. Gina is my favorite because her backstory episode is the only one where I felt even a little bit intrigued about how one of these assholes came to be. Our leading man Kevin is a bland standin. He’s just an overly naive, wide eyed kid with a dream. He’s an empty husk for literally any kind of viewer to step in (except for women when it comes to the love interest stuff). The chief is an angry, pompous asshole. In fact every character is just a horrible human being. Even characters that are either overly innocent or are meant to be good natured like Kevin or Dusty are constantly selfish or arrogant in some way. I get that that’s just the way the show is written comedically and in truth all comedy is rooted in the flawed. It’s why a lot of sitcom scenarios are written around characters acting selfishly or stupidly. But there’s being flawed and then there’s . . . being relentlessly cruel. It makes it hard to root for any of these characters in the end, especially since the show also occasionally tries to have a moral center and because . . .well . . . y’know . . . everyone is bland as shit.

Cast Performance

So this is by far the best aspect of the show and the number one thing it has going for it. Why? Because the show has a cast that’s .  . . depressingly a bunch of all stars. Tom Kenny, Spongebob himself, voices the chief and he does a great angry authoritative father. Grey Griffin, the actress behind such favorites as Daphne from Scooby Doo, Frankie from Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends, Vicki from Fairly Odd Parents and Azula from Avatar: The Last Airbender, is the mayor and also turns in a great performance for what she has to portray. Not to mention the occasional guest like John Dimaggio and Tara Strong. If you’re any fan of voice acting chances are you’ll find a favorite of yours in this cast if not a handful of them. I say this is depressing because all of these people could do so much better. I get it, a paycheck is a paycheck, but . . . . imagine the immensely creative and stunning projects they could have been a part of instead. If a contract with Netflix is what you want, hit up Alex Hirsch! He’s signed on with them now and I bet he’s got something worthwhile! There’s not a whole lot to say about the rest of the performances, mainly because again, it’s hard to care about any of these characters.

Visuals (Animation, Design, Composition, Visual Storytelling, ETC.)

sigh . . . .okay . . . let’s talk about the animation. Before I go into it I just want to be real and sentimental for a second. I’m an animator. I just recently broke into the industry by working with Copernicus Studios . . . and it’s been nothing but a sincere pleasure. I’ve learned more about animation and Toon Boom in 4 months than I ever learned in 4 years of freelancing. It put into perspective just how much thought and effort goes into even the most minimal of shows. It’s a popular trend to shit on professionally animated content for looking such a way or moving in such a way but if those people only knew the countless hours and passion that goes into even just a couple of seconds of footage they’d never talk shit about these shows ever again. Not only that, but I’m an admin for an animation study group on Facebook with thousands of members from all over the world. Animators from every country and every skill level share their work for constructive feedback. Through this I’ve met many people who work in the industry . . .including someone who worked on Paradise PD. And I know them to be among the most skilled and masterful animators on the page. For all of these reasons, I will NEVER call animators lazy or unskilled if they produced a show like this. It’s typically the result of a certain type of direction or method of moving the production pipeline along. I have no doubt on my mind that every animator who worked on this show is wonderfully skilled and will do well in their careers going forward.

But this show does not demonstrate that. Far from it. This show goes out of it’s way to be lazy. It cuts so many corners they’ve made a perfect circle of hell. Just take a look at most of the gifs I’ve posted in this review. Notice the popping of proportions and lines in moving pieces. Notice certain features like noses or eyes that move around for no damn reason at all. Look at features like eyebrows where there’s no easing or seamless transition or any basic understanding of the 12 principles of animation aside from perhaps arcs. Just watch a couple of seconds of this show and count how little frames are in every motion. If you told me this show was made in Go! Animate I would believe you. This makes Family Guy look like Studio Ghibli. Maybe this show could have been more pleasant to look at if it had vouched for motion keyframes instead of what appears to be the occasional stop motion keyframe (users of Toon Boom or Flash will know what I mean) but even then there’s nothing to look at really. Add to that the eyesore of a colour scheme, the uninspired character designs that if I put them in silhouette you would not be able to tell what show it’s from, the absolutely barebones backgrounds that look like early 2000s Newgrounds cartoon sets and the unimaginitive shot composition that consists almost entirely of wide shots and medium wide shots and you have what can hardly even be defined as animation by mainstream televisions standards. The last show I reviewed was Matt Groening’s Disenchantment and while I had my issues with that shows animation, at least they were only errors a trained eye could see in a show that was otherwise appealing. Paradise PD is just a tragedy. The only positive comment I can make about the animation is that the FX department did a great job animating the blood and the boogers and any type of nasty body liquid . . . .and I am depressed that that is my one positive comment.

Audio (Soundtrack, Sound Mixing, Sound FX, ETC.)

*In case you thought I was joking about one of the episode summaries I gave earlier*

Like most of the stuff I review, the audio isn’t particularly notable in this show. There’s no memorable soundtracks to speak of. The sound mixing is fine. That’s really all there is to say. I’ll be honest; I’ll talk about remarkable soundtracks in this section or clever/bad sound mixing when I can, but I mainly just include this section so I can score what i’m reviewing in a way that adds to a 10.

Conclusion

Paradise PD is the worst show I have ever given a review for and quite possible the worst show I’ve ever made an effort to sit down and watch. Almost nothing is redeemable about it. It’s the lowest common denominator for animation and it unsuccessfully trades any hint of originality for unfunny shock humor. It fails not because of missteps, but because of a refusal to make the necessary steps in the first place.

Writing - 0.5/2- Below Average

Characters - 0.5/2- Below Average

Cast Performance - 1.5/2 - Above Average

Visuals - 0.5/2 - Below Average

Audio - 1/2 - Average

4 out of 10 - My most hated show thus far.

[thenightling]

Why Peter Vincent is the most underrated modern vampire hunter

Notice and disclaimer:  Though I like David Tennant as an actor I feel his version of Peter Vincent is sorely lacking.  This is not the fault of the actor but rather the decisions made by the director and writer of the Fright Night remake.  This post is mostly in regard to Roddy McDowall’s version of the character from the original Fright Night, Fright Night: Part 2, and the Fright Night comic books.

11.   He is honest.

Despite being a former actor, Peter Vincent is very, very honest.  He no longer seems to care what people think of him.  He went from has-been horror movie star with a public access TV show to reinventing himself as a real monster hunter.  Once he learned that monsters (particularly vampires) were real he chose to become the man he had always pretended to be in the movies.  Unlike others who took up such a mantle though, Peter Vincent never lied to protect his own image.  He openly admitted monsters are real and what needed to be done, not caring that this might make him look mentally ill.    

This has lead to some wincable moments where it might have been in his own self-interest if Peter Vincent had simply lied to protect himself and how others saw him but he won’t do that.  If he feels there is a terrible, other-worldly threat he will not beat around to bush.  At one point in Fright Night: Part 2 this lead to him being committed to a psychiatric hospital.  Fortunately, with the help of some friends, he escaped.   

Peter Vincent also loves to wear his old costumes from the movies that he used to star in, which were usually set in the nineteenth century.  He has no real fear or concern of how others see him now that he has shed his status as fading celebrity and embraced his role as eccentric protector of the innocent. 

10.   He’s surprisingly down-to-Earth.

At first Peter Vincent comes off as this aloof poseur, a pretentious has-been.  He’s a has-been horror movie actor with a public access TV show.   He seems quick to assume (or hope) people might want his autograph but the reality is he is struggling to make ends meet.  His show is in the verge of cancelation and his rent on his apartment is overdue.  All he really has are relics from his old movie career.    When Peter Vincent learns monsters are real he sheds all trappings of his old, fading, career and all the apparent pretentiousness.  You realize that for all his melodramatic swaggering he’s really very afraid but he still stands against the forces of darkness because he knows he’s needed.  

He’s not superpowered.  He’s not attractive.   He’s not combat-trained.   He’s just someone that used to star in old monster movies and now that he knows monsters are real and preying on the innocent he has become someone who cares...

9.   He learns not to judge people.

Through the course of the original Fright Night movies Peter Vincent undergoes amazing character growth (More on that later).  In the first Fright Night movie Peter Vincent is quick to dismiss Charley as “mad” but by the time you get to Fright Night Part 2 and Peter Vincent has come to terms with learning that the supernatural is real, his outlook has entirely changed.   He has changed so much that all bias he had in dismissing other humans or judging them as all but evaporated.  

There is a scene in Fright Night: Part 2 where Peter Vincent is forced to escape a psychiatric hospital. He was put there after he was caught trying to stake a vampire on live TV.   Here he is nearly thwarted in his escape until an inmate who believes his wild stories helps him to get away.   Peter Vincent is so moved by this gesture that the next scene of him he smiles and comments on how he has friends in the most unlikely of places.   The man is adorable. 

8.  He faces very powerful old-school vampires.

Many modern vampires are super strong and super fast and that’s about it.  They have been stripped of some of their more eerie attributes like being able to summon storms, turn into a wolf, or bat- like Count Dracula in the original Dracula novel.  But Peter Vincent doesn’t face off against the low-budget, modern vampires, that can barely do anything.   No, when he faces Evil Ed, Ed turns into a full sized wolf when he attacks him.  Peter Vincent is not super-strong, nor does he have any combat skill.  He is forced to use his horror-movie knowledge (as he was a B horror movie actor) and his own wits, and makeshift weapons to defeat him.

Honestly, I think this makes him more “badass” than many modern vampire hunters in pop culture.  He’s a frail old man taking on vampires with the full array of classic powers.  They can shapeshift.  They can hypnotize.  They are incredibly strong.  They can conjure fog and lightning.  They can become wolves or bats.  They are a Hell of a lot more intimidating than most TV or movie vampires today who have been stripped of a lot of these powers.

And he manages to face these monsters despite being very, very afraid.   

7.    He’s delightfully hammy.

Because Peter Vincent went from being a has-been actor to real monster hunter there are certain aspects of his old-self that he can’t quite shead.  He’s still very melodramatic and theatrical in nature.  This makes him a bit campy and for better or worse this carries over when he has worked up the courage to stand against various threats.   It adds much needed levity to the gravity of the situation when you remember this man was an old cheesy actor and he delivers a movie-style line to remind you of this.  He wasn’t actually born into monster hunting, it was thrust upon him later and life and he took to it like a duck to water, when he finally accepted it, but in doing so he couldn’t leave behind aspects of his old hammy self.

 6.   He is still influencing pop culture over thirty years later.

Remember the character of Vincent Van Ghoul in The Thirteen Ghosts of Scooby Doo cartoon of the 1980s?  Vincent Van Ghoul was originally voiced by Vincent Price and meant to be similar to Doctor Strange from Marvel comics (who likely had been inspired by Vincent Price’s Doctor Craven form the 1963 film The Raven.)  Vincent Van Ghoul was a powerful sorcerer who aided Scooby and Shaggy in the capture of thirteen ghosts that had escaped from a sort of Pandora’s Box.

In 2010 the character of Vincent Van Ghoul was dusted off and reinvented with Maurice LaMarche providing the Vincent Price inspired voice.  The new version, though, is not a sorcerer.  Instead he is a has-been B horror movie actor who dresses flamboyantly in his old movie costumes.  He’s also a little bit of a coward and is melodramatic.  Sound familiar?  

The newer version of Vincent Van Ghoul is based on Peter Vincent (who was partly inspired by Vincent Price the way Doctor Strange was).   This version of Vincent Van Ghoul is still occasionally being used in recent Scooby Doo cartoons.  

There is also the character  Abraham Van Rental in the recent stop motion animated film, Chuck Steel: Night of the Trampires, whose outfit, personality, and behavior are modeled after Peter Vincent, particularly in Fright Night: Part 2.

And in the Castlevania video game franchise there is an NPC inspired by Peter Vincent.  An incompetent vampire hunter named Charlie Vincent.  And if he gets turned into a vampire (like the originally planned ending of the first Fright Night) he becomes a threat. 

5.  He is an unlikely hero.

Peter Vincent is no Blade in a leather jacket.  He is not Hugh Jackman with his rapid-fire crossbow.  He’s not Buffy or Vanessa Helsing in tight leather pants.  He has no muscles.  He’s not young and sexy.  He does not have super strength.  He’s very much an unlikely hero.  He’s a washed up old horror movie actor, struggling to make ends meet, and who learns monsters are real.  

His weapons consist of old monster movie props, as well as his knowledge of the occult and supernatural gleaned from decades of starring in cheesy horror movies.  If there is any character he might be compared with it’s Professor Abraham Van Helsing, himself, from Dracula, or perhaps Giles from Buffy The Vampire Slayer.  

Peter Vincent not conventionally attractive.  He doesn’t fit a popular demographic.  It would be wrong to try to make him appealing to a specific and young demographic because that is not the character.  He’s actually kind of dorky though he feigns confidence on his TV show and when he is trying to be heroic but that just makes him all the more likable.  

He’s afraid but he does what is right anyway.  He knows the odds are against him.  He cannot physically best the monsters he stands against.  He has to rely on his wits and the fact that he’s easily underestimated for his usual meekness. 

He’s so different from the current trend of muscular, attractive, and physically combative monster hunters that he’s actually a breath of fresh air, for being the odd man out, the meek and frightened old actor who gains courage when he realizes he might not be the ideal hero but he’s all they’ve got and they need him. And that makes him so damn amazing.    

4.   He teaches us that it’s never too late to change who and what you are.

Peter Vincent undergoes an incredible character arc, soul search, and self-reinvention though the course of the original Fright Night movies. 

Peter Vincent is an old, has-been horror movie actor who ended up hosting a public access TV show where he would intro his own old movies and provide commentary about them at commercial breaks.  He thought his career and life was nearing its close but then he was made to realize monsters are real and the world needed the sort of hero he always pretended to be.  Despite his age, despite his fear, despite his physical frailty (he is no muscle bound hero) Peter rose to the occasion and reinvented himself as a protector of the innocent.

He found a faith he didn’t previously have, he gave up a fading celebrity status and abandoned all concerns for how people thought of him just because he felt it was the right thing to do, because he knew he was needed.

He shed his old persona of has-been and skeptic and became the hero and believer he had always pretended to be.  He had become the unlikely hero and it was the role he was born for.  

3.  He was a proud neo-Victorian Goth before the term even existed.   

Peter Vincent was a has-been horror actor who eventually learns that monsters are real and when he takes up the mantle of real monster hunter he puts on his old costume.  The character he played was an 1890s Doctor Abraham Van Helsing style protagonist, similar to the characters Peter Cushing always used to play in the Hammer Horror Dracula movies of the 1950s into the 1970s.  Peter Vincent calls this his “uniform” and makes it a point to wear it when he knows he’s about to face real monsters even if he knows it’s incredibly out of place. 

He had lace cuffs, old Sherlock-style duster jacket with mantle, waistcoat, and cravat.  And he was not ashamed.

We’re talking about a man walking around like it’s London 1891 but in 1985 American suburbia and he was completely unashamed.   You go, you brave, yet strangely meek extrovert!

2.   He is very likely an LGBT hero.

   Though Peter Vincent’s sexuality is never explored in the movies, the character was inspired by Peter Cushing and Vincent Price.  Vincent Price’s daughter confirmed after his death that he was bisexual.   Peter Cushing was likely straight but Vincent Price was most assuredly bisexual.

The actor who played Peter Vincent was the great Roddy McDowall.   Roddy spent his life in the closet but after his death stories emerged from his friends that confirmed he had been bisexual.

(Roddy McDowall with Vincent Price.)

It was Roddy McDowall who told Vincent Price’s daughter “You know, we didn't have any idea what bisexuality meant in that sense, and if we didn't know, then how can we know the answer to that question."

Roddy was very likely bisexual and it’s been confirmed that Vincent Price (whom he was friends with) was bisexual.  This is particularly coincidental since Roddy’s Peter Vincent character hs half-based on Vincent Price (the other half being Peter Cushing, who played Doctor Van Helsing in several Hammer Horror Dracula movies.) 

There is a very high chance that thanks to the character sources, Peter Vincent was bisexual.       

1.  He is kind.  

  Today it’s too easy to be cynical and to deconstruct heroes into cold and cynical avatars for the jaded writers behind them.  The characters either don’t really care about the individuals that are in danger or someone behind the scenes just loves watching their hero pose stoically in a long leather jacket, without showing any emotion.

Peter Vincent, on the other hand, is warm, compassionate, and sympathetic.  He’s kind.  He genuinely cares about people despite once imagining himself a great and aloof actor.  

Ultimately it’s the realization that innocent lives are in danger and witnessing the painful death of the newborn vampire, Evil Ed, that finally pushes Peter Vincent to stand against Jerry Dandridge, despite his own fear.  

 Peter Vincent is terrified.  He’s just has-been horror actor with a public access horror themed TV series. Peter is given the opportunity - the destiny to be the hero he always secretly longed to be, the protector he may have secretly always dreamed of being.  

Peter rises above himself and it’s not for glory.  It’s not for fame.  He does it because he feels it’s the right thing to do and people need him.  And he truly cares about them. 

He forsakes his old fading celebrity status to be an anonymous hero that others think is nothing more than an old, washed up actor, who has finally lost his mind.  In Fright Night Part 2 Peter stops caring about his fading movie and TV career and realizes that’s not what he’s meant to be.  He IS Peter Vincent, the Great Vampire Killer!   And he sheds his old identity and even public reputation because he knows... he knows this is what others need him to be.  This is the hero he has to be for the sake of others.

it’s for these reasons and more that Peter Vincent is one of the greatest vampire hunters in contemporary pop culture (within the last forty years).

[tumblunni]

Man the manga makes it look so fun to be a Nobody!

I really marvel at how they captured the uncanny nature of the enemy Nobodies?? Cos seriously the whole point of them is that they look humanoid but move in really inhuman ways. And each individual enemy type has its own unique mannerisms for this, but in general its like..slugs? I'm pretty sure its slugs?? They stretch and squish and wiggle around and its like pretty much EXACTLY how medicinal leeches move, but thats a very underrated animal so its probably more likely it was slugs or worms. Like 'hey lets exaggerate slugs' but BELIEVE IT OR NOT THAT FATEFUL WIGGLIER SLUG DOES TRULY EXIST. And i love their cutie patoot lil faces. And the world needs to appreciate them more!

...ok im getting offtopic but you get the gist of what i mean. The basic Dusk enemies are vaguely humanoid things with their arms and legs tapering off into sticklike points, and they either wiggle them around like leech heads or hold their arms behind them naruto run style and use their entire body as a leech! Like its more likely that they pick up stuff by wrapping around it like a snake, rather than just using hands?? And also they can fly and stick to ceilings and just generally have loads of fun?? And look really pretty?? And some of the other more complex nobodies look even cooler doing their weird wiggle flying. Like the Assassin type have these weird big metal petal shapes on their arms that flutter like feathers and make them look like winged snakes crossed with.. Kites...? Kites made of kimonos? Being worn by a man with no face..?

SERIOUSLY WHO DESIGNED THESE FUNKY THINGS THEYRE SO UNIQUELY GENIUS

And aaa the Days manga has a REALLY good panel showing a big swarm of them in flight and it just looks SO MAGICAL AND SPOOKY! this is the exact kind of Aesthetically Nutso Ghost Monster Person i wish i could be! The manga is so cool at iimplying the same sense of inhuman motion by drawing them like motion tweens? Like theyre warped into wildly different body shapes in every panel and its just SO CREEPY and SO BADASS and SOMETIMES KINDA MAJESTIC AND ENDEARING EVEN! And this big flight scene has EVERY SINGLE INDIVIDUAL ONE drawn with its own different pose and mannerisms and like man every one of these weird squiggle flights looks like a world of fun to do!! God i love when superpowers actually look FUN, yo! It fuckin sucks that theyre just low level enemies and not ever playable. The only Nobodies that are playable or even get a big amount of screentime in cutscenes are the ones that ACTUALLY look humanoid and also move humanoid and BOOOO have zero traits of the monster theyre supposed to be. Like man just give me a whole game playing a lil bebby Nobody flying around! They remind me of the wanderers in Journey, they'd be so well suited to a chilled out exploration game like that.

And AAAAAA i get so sad thinking about how they're like bebbys!!! Noooo! Why do we not have more sympathy for them?? Like the particular way they write their 'bumbling weak enemy' scenes just comes off more like..well..sad thoughts about what happens when you lose your heart. Cos i mean the series really doesnt dwell much on the implications of the fact every single one of them used to be human! And whenever they're not being given orders by the higher ups in the organization, theyre just shown wiggling around flying in circles for fun, like a shoal of fish. They're so inhuman now, aside from vague resembelance in their appearances. They'd be seen as the cute wpodland critters in a disney princess musical number if they werent designated as monsters! Like they're not just 'dumb', they friggin dont remember how to talk anymore. And in their most memorable scene they dont understand the order "find this person" and can be easily tricked by photos of him. "Yes boss here is roxas he's a little more flatter than usual but here he is!" And they just keep gathering hundreds of the same person and never once cotton on to anything being wrong. Its so cute and also scary?? Cos seriously they are such eldritch monstrosities of fragmented soul that they move on to STEALING THE WORD PHOTOGRAPH. Just plucking it right out of the language! Failing so hard that you warp the laws of reality! I feel sorry for the poor lil guys, you definately cant say they didnt try as hard as possible!

AND SERIOUSLY THATS ALSO A COMMON TRAIT IN THE MANGA

I'm just so happy that they gave a bit more sympathy to the low level enemies because seriously WHO GIVES SUCH A GOOD DESIGN TO A LOW LEVEL ENEMY AND THEN BARELY EVER USES THEM FOR ANY SCENES

They actually give some sorts of pseudo dialogue to them?? Like during the kh2 prologue they show roxas being able to psychically perceive their thoughts while theyre trying to kidnap him. And its just so sympathetic and sad in retrospect?? They did a great job amplifying everything about this sequence because they made the Nobodies look so much scarier, made Roxas's life with his friends look even more heartwarming, and made it all super tense so you overlook all these little hints and just cheer for roxas in defeating these guys. But they left so many things that actually foreshadow that Roxas is a Nobody too, so reading this a second time is so sadddddd. I almost wish this was the first time i experienced the story, i think it does basically everything better than the original game version. Like seriously THAT ONE LINE OF WHAT THE WEAK ENEMIES ARE THINKING! "We've found you, my leige". THEY WERE JUST TRYING TO SAVE THEIR BOSS AND DIDNT KNOW WHY HE DIDNT RECOGNISE THEM. AND THEN HE ATTACKS THEM AND THEY DONT KNOW WHY!! aaa theyre just BABIES god theyre just ghost demon thingies that are like the larval stage compared to the main character versions. They dont remember who they were as humans, they just know they love their boss!! and he's apparantly been kidnapped by scary humans!! THEY WERE TRYING SO HARD TO SAVE HIM!! they got so damn close to taking over the town and they were swarming everywhere searching for him and Axel was trying so hard too and Diz just kept interrupting him before he cpuld explain or lying to roxas to manipulate them against each other! And axel even brought cake and icecream with him!! He was just trying to rescue his lil bro!!! Auuuugh seriously it was such a good twist that the Scary Monster Dudes were objectively in the right throughout this entire intro, and they just wanted to save Roxas's goddamn life. And he didnt even get to remember his peaceful days as a family with his fellow monster boyos until like five seconds before dying :(

Did anyone else just.. Not want to play kingdom hearts 2 after the prologue?

Like i couldnt stand the mood whiplash of going back to happy go lucky disney worlds with sora and having no more deep sad intriguing plot points for like ten hours of gameplay. And i could never take Organization 13 seriously as villains when the entire damn prologue was them being SUPER FUCKING SYMPATHETIC and the 'good guy' trying to murder a child in order to bring sora back. Like why am i supposed to be happy that he succeeded when i know sora himself would say no if he was told what sacrifice had to happen to bring him back? I would have been way more interested in this sequel having me play as roxas and try and take on the legacy of sora as the next hero and try and find a way to bring sora back without anyone having to die. Like the whole story could be people being all 'blah blah youre worthless youre not human your only purpose is to die for the sacrifice' and we explore all different sorts of 'heroes' doing horrible acts and justifying it to themselves because some people are just 'born evil' and its okay to do whatever you want to them. And Roxas is always struggling with almost believing that shit about himself, but in the end he does succeed to find a happy ending for everyone without a need for 'sacrifices'. And he learns to have self confidence and form his own identity and have more friendship scenes with Axel and co and also redeem all the other Nobodies please and also hug the tiny enemy childrens ones. I just did not feel much for the plot of kh2 at all except for the Nobodies!! Its just not sympathetic to have your 'heroes' arguing that 'oh they dont have hearts theyre not human they dont feel anything so theyre all evil and its all fine'. The game acts like this is true despite giving sympathetic backstories to half of them and the other half all die crying that they want to live!! What the fuck!! Like the only consolation is that they clearly cottoned on to the Org being RIDICULOUSLY POPULAR and later games literally bring all the most fan-loved ones back from the dead and add EVEN MORE sympathetic backstories and also here have a bigger villain who was really responsible and also he lied to them and theyre NOT really empty hearted and incapable of love. THEY ARE CONSTANTLY SHOWN HAVING THAT, EVEN THE WEAK LIL ENEMY DUDES HAVE ALL THAT LOYALTY TO ROXAS AAAAGH THEY DIED IN DROVES TRYING IN VAIN TO SAVE HIMMMMM

And god theyre so cute and so well designed and so sad and im sorry but AGGHHHH

I Forgot I Had So Many Emotions For The Emotionless Bebs :(

...also i really wish i cpuld get this pic of thos one panel to upload cos it looks real cool. I didnt think anything could make me love them more!!! Theyte just innocent weird snake bird worm person mannequin origami things. They just want to flutter around like messed up butterflies! And adorably poke at things they're curious about, and hold brooms awkwardly with their squiggle hands! The manga shows them doing lil chores around the house!! I LOVE THEMMMMMMM

[your-friendly-neighborhood-sc00t]

Ben 10 Reboot Review/Rant

aka: Why This Show Sucks

aaka: 333 Follower Milestone Special

Ah, how I have absolutely dreaded the day I have to write this review, or at least start writing it. Your boy Sc00t here, and welcome to my review of the Ben 10 Reboot.

Also, y'all too good to me, can’t believe over 300 people actually follow me and like seeing my trash. Thank you all for following, and I hope you guys continue to enjoy the content on my blog, ^^

I’ve been putting this off for quite some time now, for obvious reasons, but it’s time to finally crack down on this shit.

So, surprisingly, I actually did something I NEVER DO for shows I don’t like,

I actually watched multiple episodes for the sake of this review, DESPITE how painful it was to watch. I didn’t wanna judge it based on one or two episodes, so instead, I saw FOUR.

Yup, almost an hour of this horrendous show, just to write a stupid review.

There’s ALOT to cover here, so I’ll try to do it in an orderly fashion, and try to address all of the various issues this show has. For now, let’s start off with:

1: The Length of the Episodes Ben 10 OS (Original Series), AF (Alien Force), UA (Ultimate Alien), and OV (Omniverse), despite their differences, all had one thing in common:

All the episodes were a good 22 - 25 minutes long. This allowed plots to develop and flow at a steady and reasonable pace, nothing was rushed, and more effort was put into the production of them.

In the Reboot episodes average at 11 minutes, like a Spongebob episode, which results in a shitty premise having to move along quickly just to make with the little time they have. This was also very obviously done to save money, 11-minute episodes with simplistic, shitty plots are significantly easier to produce that 24-minute episodes with proper pacing and decent/good plots. Short running time + incredibly cheap animation = profit and easy mass production of trash.

2: The Pacing

As I’m sure you can tell, the pacing of each individual episode is GARBAGE, it moves along so fast, that if you’re not paying full attention to the show, you actually won’t know what the fuck’s happening at all. And the running time isn’t actually the problem at all. We’ve seen shows convey their plot efficiently with the same exact running time, just watch any episode from the first three seasons of SpongeBob, and you’ll know precisely what I’m talking about.

3: The Animation

The animation in this show is the WORST we’ve seen in the franchise, it’s just so simplistic, flat, uninspired, and just down-right stiff at times. Action sequences just don’t flow well at all, and the designs of each and every character looks like it was slapped together in just a few minutes. I mean, just compare to ANY of the previous series’ animation, compare to other cartoons, and then just see it for what it is, and you’ll find that no matter how you look at it, it’s fucking terrible, and LAZY.

4: Forgettable Villains

The various antagonists that appear throughout the series are bland, poorly designed, and are just so damn forgettable. I can’t even remember one name of any one villain from this show. They never left any sort of impact on me at all, and there isn’t anything even remotely interesting about them. The original series had many memorable and interesting antagonists, that had well fleshed out personalities and goals. Vilgax, Kevin, Hex, Charmcaster, Dr. Animo, Ghostfreak, and all these other foes that Ben faced off against posed a real, genuine threat to him, and here lies another problem. The Reboot’s “antagonists” are not intimidating in the slightest, and actually don’t serve as a true threat to Ben at ALL. They’re pathetic to watch, really.

5: Max is Irrelevant

In the Original Series, Max was an extremely prominent character, and was often just as involved in the plot of the episode as Ben and Gwen were, and the plot twist at the end of Season 1 where it was revealed that Max is a Plumber and that he fought Vilgax in the past was a great plot point and reveal, it added more depth to his character, and made him more interesting. But in the Reboot, he is almost entirely absent in some episodes. Basically he’ll just show up at the beginning of an episode, preach about some moral that Ben completely ignores, and then just is either hardly shown, or not shown at all for the rest of the episode. He’s become irrelevant, and doesn’t affect the narrative of the story at all, He doesn’t play any sort of significant role at ALL.

6: Gwen and Ben’s relationship

One of the shittiest decisions made in the design of the show, was to completely fuck up the well-established dynamic of Ben and Gwen, in the Original Series, they’re two cousins who constantly bicker and sass eachother, but they clearly cared for one another, and had many tender and compassionate moments that effectively fleshed out their love for one another. Gwen was also the more rational-thinking and logical of the two, and never actually supported Ben’s utter stupidity or rash decisions. Reasonably so, in the sequel series’ they’ve matured and have grown out of their constant arguing and sass, but still tease each other from time to time. In the Reboot, however, Gwen, more often-then-not, completely INDULGES Ben in his poor decision-making and stupidity, to the point where I’d say she’s nearly as ignorant and doltish as he is. Gwen is simply far too nice and encouraging to Ben, which utterly destroys the original dynamic portrayed in previous series’

7: The Aliens

With all the painful problems with this god forsaken show, I almost forgot to talk about one of the most important parts. The.

Aliens.

They just look so fucking shitty in the new animation style, and some of the new design choices for them just make absolutely no sense. Like, why is Upgrade PURPLE instead of GREEN? The Omnitrix is black, green, and white, so it, y'know KIND OF JUST MAKES SENSE FOR UPGRADE TO BE THESE COLORS. And why the fuck is Stinkfly some stupid-ass looking bug-themed Superhero? Why doesn’t he ACTUALLY RESEMBLE SOME TYPE OF BUG. It just makes no sense, why these things were changed. And to be perfectly honest, one of my favorite Aliens from the Original Series, Ripjaws, was actually taken out from the roster in exchange for Overflow, or Waterhazard, or whatever the hell that water-themed fuck is named. He’s a bland Alien that should’ve never even been involved in this series to begin with, he wasn’t part of the Original 10. ANOTHER, issue with the Aliens is the voice-acting, alot of them are actually portrayed by voice actors I like, John DiMaggio, Greg Cipes, Josh Keaton, Travis Willingham, etc. But the thing is, their voices, don’t even fit them, at all, so whatever they spout out of their mouths, just sounds awful. In all previous series’ the Aliens’ VAs fit them perfectly, and alot of them had some pretty badass voices. Basically, when you assign a VA to a character, it has to sound as if that voice could ACTUALLY come from that character. If the voice isn’t matching the face, then we have a clear issue. It’s not so much as the voice acting is bad in the Reboot, but it’s just doesn’t fit with the Aliens. But interestingly enough, they were sure to find the worst possible voice actor they could find for my favorite of them all, Heatblast. His voice used to be so fucking badass, and that was because he was voiced by Steve Blum, a veteran VA, the voice fit the character PERFECTLY. In the Reboot however? They got some fucking Disney Channel actor, Daryl Sabara. I didn’t even know of this guy’s EXISTENCE, until I looked at the cast of the Reboot. This guy’s, voice is incredibly obnoxious and irritating, which is the EXACT OPPOSITE OF HEATBLAST’S VOICE IN FOREGOING SERIES’. One more thing I’d like to point out, was them switching Wildmutt out for Wildvine, again, this is another decision that makes no sense. WILDVINE WAS NOT PART OF THE ORIGINAL 10, he doesn’t even show up in way later in the Original, so why is he replacing one that was at the very start of the series? AND FINALLY, we come to our last issue. The transformations are pathetically animated, it genuinely looks as if he is being covered in some large alien suit, IT DOESN’T look as if he’s actually BECOMING that alien, and that’s a big problem when he’s supposed to, y'know be literally morphing into them.

8: Stiffness

One thing to notice throughout various episodes, is that conversations, and the overall voice acting, feel really stiff, and carry absolutely no weight, kind of like a piece of cardboard. There are even extended scenes of pointless dialogue that don’t affect or further the plot of the episode, in any sense of the word.

9: The Intro

Ben 10 (2016) has without a doubt the least amount of effort put into it’s Intro. You see some green asteroid “crash” into Earth, suddenly you see Ben wearing the Watch, he slams it. And we see the 10 Aliens, introduced in a similar, but poorly executed fashion. We hear “BEN 10” being chanted in the background for a solid 11 seconds. Suddenly we see Ben giving Gwen and Max low-fives, and then runs forward.

End of Intro

Now, does it sound like I described alot of shit? Not really, right? That’s because nothing actually happens in this intro, it conveys nothing, and is just lazily slapped together. I remember the Original Series’ intro, it was a catchy theme song that quickly explained the premise of the show in it’s first 18 seconds. The intro goes on and shows actual interesting shit, like Ben transforming into some Aliens, and some nice visuals. The Reboot’s intro shows us the bare minimum of what they could ACTUALLY be showing us, instead of them quickly jumping on screen for a tenth of second, why not illustrate at least one of their abilities with a short clip? The Original’s does this incredibly well in the last 10 seconds, briefly showing us the capabilities of some of the Aliens with incredibly short clips, you could actually be impressed by what you were witnessing. The Reboot’s intro is just so mundane, and devoid of any sort of interesting material, and it’s the only intro in the franchise that’s SLOW-PACED. All of the previous entries’ intros have been fast-paced. And while you may consider Ultimate Alien’s to be slow, it quickly scrolls through a large variety of Aliens while playing epic music, that’s fast enough, and certainly impressive enough for me. The Reboot’s intro is in-fact, so bad, that when my sister watched it, she actually started LAUGHING. And when you’re cackling at an intro that is CLEARLY not trying to be funny, well then, you’ve got a pretty shitty opening.

10: Ben’s Character

Okay, now I know Ben has always done stupid shit in all of his incarnations. However, his character seems ridiculously dumbed down in the Reboot, and he just seems as mindless as ever, in the other series’ we saw how he wasn’t always a goofball kid, he took himself and those around him seriously at times, and we were able to respect him as a character for these moments. Like in Alien Force, in the episode: “The Gauntlet”, there’s a scene where Ben stands up to Cash, not by using force, or the Omnitrix, but with words, he simply calmly and intelligently calls him the fuck out, and walks away. It was a well-written moment, and showed a deeper, more mature side of Ben. And in the episode “Framed”, where Ben doesn’t finish off Kevin even when he has the perfect opportunity to do so, knowing that he isn’t worth it, and showing a more compassionate side, even to a dangerous enemy. Ben doesn’t have any moments like this at all in the Reboot, and it really takes away from his character, he essentially becomes a one-dimensional character, that really doesn’t have any defining characteristics outside of being a goofball kid.

The Verdict:

Ben 10 (2016) is a clear attempt to appeal to a much younger audience, of what Man of Action assumes to be 6 year olds with short attention-spans that don’t give a flying fuck about depth, good animation, and proper storytelling. This show wasn’t made with any genuine thought or care, it was made to sell toys, and make money, while utilizing as little resources and time as possible. Not only does this show fail as a Ben 10 cartoon, it fails AS a cartoon in of itself. It insults every aspect of what makes good animation and a good show, and is just disgusting as a product. And I’m afraid that the only positive thing I am capable of saying about this show is that it isn’t Breadwinners, and that’s about it. So, yeah, don’t watch this show.

End of Review/Final Words Anyway I hope you all enjoyed this review, (if you even read it) and I know I’m late as fuck on reviewing this steaming pile of horse shit, but I promised it months ago, so I wanted to get it out for you guys, plus, I was in the mood to get pissed about something, and believe it or not, I actually enjoy writing these, they’re fun for me, and I hope they’re fun for you to read as well. And if you disagree with every little thing I said, and you ACTUALLY enjoy this show. Then that’s perfectly fine, you’re entitled to your own opinion, and your own interests, but I wanted to get mine out in the open, so I hope you can respect my opinion as I will respect yours. What other reviews can you expect from me in the future? Well, I currently have two game reviews in the works, but it may be quite some time before they are done, considering how incredibly lazy I am. But who knows? I’m sure I’ll find something else I hate, and either review or give my thoughts on it in the future.

Once again, if you actually made it to the end of this review, I heavily appreciate you taking time out of your day just to read me bitch about some stupid cartoon.

And I’ll see ya around, :P