#that i could understand. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tails-is-cool · 1 year ago

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Friendly reminder that this applies in situations where you have a choice. I think this could reach some people in the wrong way.

If, say, your communication partner constantly makes themself the victim (e.g. "you always blame me," "so it's my fault?", refusing to elaborate on their side of the story just to make things difficult (it can be valid depending on the situation, like if it's an emotional subject, since they also have their boundaries), etc.)

Or: makes you feel bad every time you try to communicate (e.g. yells, stomps, slams doors, talks about how stupid or not understandable you are very loudly where they know you can hear, etc.),

Or: they've had a history of (trying to) hurt people when they attempt to reason with them, you are not obligated to do so.

You are not obligated to do anything that could potentially be harmful to your mental or physical health.

(Unfortunately, dealing with children or teenagers can also result in some of these occurrences. In my personal experience, all of these behaviors came from an adult who really should have known better.)

However, avoiding communication isn't healthy, and communication is important. Both sides need to be addressed, and misunderstandings can happen. The important thing is to try, be respectful, be respected, and just get it over with as efficiently and thoroughly as possible.

Lack of communication can hurt your relationships so, so much. It can build up over the years and eventually fester into something worse. Maybe you might be the one aggressively saying things about someone who doesn't deserve it because of miscommunication. Maybe you will be an abuser. Maybe you won't be. Maybe you will communicate well and learn and get better, and maybe you will have good and healthy relationships.

But that doesn't happen if no one tries. It might as well start with you.

Your "non-confrontational" choices not to communicate hurt the people you don't confront btw. You're not a martyr for keeping everything inside and then running away when other people don't know what's going on with you. You just decided avoiding rejection and sparing your own feelings was easier than being honest and giving them the agency to respond and make their own decisions. You chose to hurt them so they didn't hurt you. You think your feelings are realer and more important than their own care and love for you. You were always just waiting for a sign to run.

"If they cared about me they would have–" did you tell them that? Did you let them know how you feel? How much importance you place on those requirements they don't know they have to meet? This secret criteria and secret signs for your secret feelings? Or are you making them play a game they don't know even exists?

Your choice not to communicate isn't cute. You didn't run because they didn't feel the same for you. You ran so you wouldn't have to risk rejection. You chose to prioritise your own self-protection over their trust in and love for you. At least own that.

#reblog #aficionadonn #aficionadonn talks #i guess #i went on longer than i needed to #also im going to vent a lil in the tags here:#i have language barriers with my family.#i have been expected to know things that i never learned and never could.#i have a relative who does the things I listed and does it despite being over forty years old.#i have experiences with that relative where they have gotten angry at me for things out of my control that they have not explained in terms #that i could understand.#i have experiences with that relative that i have listed above and they are not because of language barriers #but because they refuse to listen to my side of the story without hating themself for things that I tell them are not in their control #and they do not listen to the fields that I ask them to improve in such as boundaries and having lack of compassion.#i do not think they remember being a child. they are not respected. they are miserable and they made themself that way. i do not pity them #because i tried to talk to them for years and years and years and i did not have to give up but i did. because they will not listen #unless they want to. and they will not change unless they want to. but they have not had interest in changing in forty years.#aficionadonn rambles in the tags #ive listened and listened and they have trusted me with their secrets but i cannot trust them with mine because they have violated my trust #an insane number of times over the course of my very short life. both to myself and to my other relatives.#i hate to say that i have no hope for our continued relationship once i become financially independent. that is their own fault.#they pull me down into the deep ocean depths and i wish to slice myself free because i cannot pull them towards myself.#op's words are ones that i wish they would have taken to heart when they had kids. maybe i wouldn't need to see them be so hurt.#aficionadonn vent

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petshopbutch · 1 year ago

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submissive in the way a livestock guardian dog is submissive to the sheep it kills wolves for

#Does this make any sense. gay people in my phone please understand me #my posts #puppy sub #<- funniest tag i could think to file this under

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thisshadowwrites · 4 months ago

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i have seen gay porn less homoerotically charged than whatever the fuck they were doing in that hyundai civic

#i was aghast #clutching my pearls #jk pretty fun movie #ryan rly understand what makes superhero movies good #the mcu could learn smth from him honestly..#deadpool and wolverine #deadpool 3 #deadpool #wolverine #spoiler #ish

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mynnthia · 6 months ago

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was talking with a friend about how some of dunmeshi fаndom misunderstands kabru's initial feelings towards laios.

to sum up kabru's situation via a self-contained modernized metaphor:

kabru is like a guy who lost his entire family in a highly traumatic car accident. years later he joins a discord server and takes note of laios, another server member who seems interesting, so they start chatting. then laios reveals his special interest and favorite movie of all time is David Cronenberg's Crash (1996), and invites kabru to go watch a demolition derby with him

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #kabru #kabru already added laios as a discord friend. everyone else in the server can see laios excitedly asking kabru to go with him #what would You even Do in this situation. how would YOU feel?#basically: kabru isnt a laios-hater! hes just in shock bc Thats His Trauma. the key part is kabru still says yes #bc he wants to get to know laios. to understand why laios would be so fascinated by something horrific to him #and ALSO bc even while in shock kabru can still tell laios has unique expertise + knowledge that Could be used for Good #even if kabru doesnt fully trust laios yet (bc kabru just started talking to the guy 2 hours ago. they barely know each other)#kabru also understands that getting to know ppl (esp laios) means having to get to know their passions. even if it triggers his trauma here #but thats too much to fit in this metaphor/analogy. this is NOT an AU! its not supposed to cover everything abt kabru or laios' character!#its a self-contained metaphor written Specifically to be more easily relatable+thus easy to understand for general ppl online #(ie. assumed discord users. hence why i said (a non-specific) 'discord server' and not something specific like 'car repair subreddit')#its for ppl who mightve not fully grasped kabru's character+intentions and think hes being mean/'chaotic'/murderous.#to place ppl in kabru's shoes in an emotionally similar situation thats more possible/grounded in irl experiences and contexts.#and also for the movie punchline #mynn.txt #dm text #crossposting my tweets onto here since my friends suggested so

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spitblaze · 5 months ago

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I guess Chilchuck has brought us right back to 'adults who are short are child-coded and if you like them you're a pedophile' discourse huh

#spitblaze says things #anyway.#1) please google 'halfling'#2) THERE ARE ADULTS WHO ARE VERY SHORT. DID YOU KNOW THAT. WERE YOU AWARE #3) THERE ARE ALSO ADULTS WHO HAVE CHILDLIKE FACES. DID YOU KNOW *THAT*#4) IF YOU THINK THE ONLY REASON A MAN COULD LOOK LIKE THAT IS BECAUSE THEY ARE TRANS MEN IM GOING TO KILL YOU #5) jesus christ will you just read/watch dungeon meshi and understand that the entire conceit of his character and of half-foots in general #is that its fucked up to treat people as children or subhuman because they do not 'look' like what you expect a cisgender adult to look lik #anyway if i see one more person call Chilchuck 'has gray streaks and an ex wife and three adult daughters' Tims a sh*ta #im gonna start smashing things #doin numbers

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eric-the-disposable-demon · 1 year ago

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Uh-

just found out my cousin (who lives in England) is in the art department of a bunch of shows??? And she worked oN DOCTOR WHO? AND HAD LUNCH WITH DAVID TENNANT???? and she just told me so casually because she's interested in the art, not the show? I mean, excuse me? She worked on SHERLOCK???? FOR A WHOLE SEASON?? She worked on Peaky Blinders and Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones??? And probably other things because she has a shitty memory and according to her everything is a blur?? AND AT ONE POINT SHE WAS LIKE: "oh and have you ever heard of Neil Gaiman?" And I was trying not to scream, because yes, of course I've heard of Neil, he's only my favorite author, I've only read like all of his books multiple times, and if you say you worked on Good Omens or the Sandman I'm going to lose it completely. So I said "yeah I've read a couple of his books," -you know, like a liar- "what about him?" and she goes "well I worked on one of his shows and he's brilliant i just can't remember which one" and i go "w-what do you mean he's brilliant? You're.. you're talking about his writing... his writing is brilliant, right?" And she cheerfully says "oh no I don't read books, I ment he was really nice and brilliant when I talked to him" and i go "WHAT DID YOU TALK ABOUT WHAT DID YOU TALK ABOUT" and she thinks for a moment and goes "oh! BRICKS" WHAT IN THE WORLD YES NO THAT MAKES SENSE YOU GET TO WORK AND TALK WITH NEIL FUCKING GAIMAN AND YOU TALK ABOUT BRICKS? NO THAT'S TOTALLY NORMAL I'M NOT MAD ".... it was what I was designing at the time, I needed to know what vibe the bricks should have. Anyway want to see the spinning fireplace I made for doctor who" WHAT THE FUCK.

@neil-gaiman do you remember any brick conversations by any chance

#Doctor who #Sherlock #David tennant #I'm losing it #neil gaiman #DAVID TENNANT JUST SAT DOWN NEXT TO HER AT LUCH AND SHE GOES OH YEAH HE WAS SUPER NICE. VERY TALL. ????#anyway i- oh my god.#Let me just perish in peace #Just my cousin living my dream making art and vibing with Neil and David and her fucking bricks what the fuck #Good omens #Sorry this is a mess #I understand actors are still people I'm not saying they aren't but can you look me in the eye and tell me you wouldn't be psyched #If you could have lunch with David tennant?

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sukinapan · 11 days ago

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#this is so beautiful #i love the chinese languages and characters so much #from my understanding this would not be in a modern language that i could possibly read with standard chinese knowledge though #makes me wanna study chinese history and language history so bad ngl #language #art inspo #asia #games #peklo ref #fav

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egophiliac · 29 days ago

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everyone out of the way, this is the only thing I'm going to be thinking about from now on.

(okay, there is one more thing)

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #lost in the book with nightmare before christmas #hajimari no halloween #jade is having the time of his life being a nasty little mofo and i love him for it #and gosh...leona and sally being friends is SO cute #sometimes i forget that leona is canonically a feminist #sally poisons a man and he's like 'you go girl'#they have so much in common though!#they both have eye scars and no ears on the sides of their heads!#no but they're adorable and i love it #and i suppose i have to reluctantly admit that i understand why lilia could not be in this event #he would just be stuffing frogs into his mouth left and right without even blinking #every time we get a moment of culture-clash he would just be there like 'mm-hm. yes. i do not see the problem.'#man. i do so adore any event that forces the boys to Work Together #their one weakness...not being petty dipshits who get into slapfights at the drop of a hat #absolutely nothing got done that first day and the mayor set off the emergency alarm because he was so done with them #this is perfection #anyway brb gotta go do some missions for the other jack's birthday #see you next week for more of scully becoming increasingly disillusioned with all these fake halloween fans

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brainrotcharacters · 3 months ago

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the easy grip on the knife. the leg over the seat. the hand over the other seat. the sassy "come get it" move. you know the bitch is smiling behind that mask even as he said the line.