#i hate to say that i have no hope for our continued relationship once i become financially independent. that is their own fault.

[tails-is-cool]

Friendly reminder that this applies in situations where you have a choice. I think this could reach some people in the wrong way.

If, say, your communication partner constantly makes themself the victim (e.g. "you always blame me," "so it's my fault?", refusing to elaborate on their side of the story just to make things difficult (it can be valid depending on the situation, like if it's an emotional subject, since they also have their boundaries), etc.)

Or: makes you feel bad every time you try to communicate (e.g. yells, stomps, slams doors, talks about how stupid or not understandable you are very loudly where they know you can hear, etc.),

Or: they've had a history of (trying to) hurt people when they attempt to reason with them, you are not obligated to do so.

You are not obligated to do anything that could potentially be harmful to your mental or physical health.

(Unfortunately, dealing with children or teenagers can also result in some of these occurrences. In my personal experience, all of these behaviors came from an adult who really should have known better.)

However, avoiding communication isn't healthy, and communication is important. Both sides need to be addressed, and misunderstandings can happen. The important thing is to try, be respectful, be respected, and just get it over with as efficiently and thoroughly as possible.

Lack of communication can hurt your relationships so, so much. It can build up over the years and eventually fester into something worse. Maybe you might be the one aggressively saying things about someone who doesn't deserve it because of miscommunication. Maybe you will be an abuser. Maybe you won't be. Maybe you will communicate well and learn and get better, and maybe you will have good and healthy relationships.

But that doesn't happen if no one tries. It might as well start with you.

Your "non-confrontational" choices not to communicate hurt the people you don't confront btw. You're not a martyr for keeping everything inside and then running away when other people don't know what's going on with you. You just decided avoiding rejection and sparing your own feelings was easier than being honest and giving them the agency to respond and make their own decisions. You chose to hurt them so they didn't hurt you. You think your feelings are realer and more important than their own care and love for you. You were always just waiting for a sign to run.

"If they cared about me they would have–" did you tell them that? Did you let them know how you feel? How much importance you place on those requirements they don't know they have to meet? This secret criteria and secret signs for your secret feelings? Or are you making them play a game they don't know even exists?

Your choice not to communicate isn't cute. You didn't run because they didn't feel the same for you. You ran so you wouldn't have to risk rejection. You chose to prioritise your own self-protection over their trust in and love for you. At least own that.

[sinofwriting]

Sex Positive - Charles Leclerc

Words: 2,470 Summary: Y/N goes on a podcast to talk about one thing and one thing only, sex. Note(s): NSFW just because this is just all sex talk, no actual sex, but it is the main topic of discussion. Part SMAU

Masterlist | Support Me!

“Y/N Y/L/N”

She smiles at the sound of her name, adjusting her headphones a bit until they finally seem to sit snug on her head.

“Welcome to the sex positive podcast.”

“Thank you for having me!”

“Thank you for coming on!” Elaine says. “When I reached out, I had hoped you would come on, but was shocked when you said yes.”

“I had to come on. We’ve known each other now for like two years?” Elaine nods at her words. “And yet despite that and this podcast doing so well, which by the way congrats on the new milestone. 250k is insane, and your profession we’ve never once talked about sex.”

“We have not.” Elaine laughs. “Probably because we also run into each other at events and dinners. Not the best place for me to ask how you feel about sex.”

“Well, I should tell you, I am coming on here to actually talk about how much I hate sex.” She says, ending her sentence with an eye roll, as she adjusts how she’s sitting, not even noticing her cardigan slip.

“Oh, yeah.” Elaine nods. “You hate sex.” She then nods to her left shoulder and her eyes drop and she lets out a laugh, seeing the love bites now exposed from the cardigan slipping.

“Like I said, I hate it.” She laughs.

“How is your relationship with sex? I mean, what has your experience been with it?”

She considers for a moment, “I’d say I have a good relationship with sex. It was never a topic that was shied away from when I was younger. My parents both gave me the talk, they made sure that I felt safe and comfortable to talk to them about it. They also never shied away from talking about how they had sex before they were adults, so if I did, they understood. All they asked was that I was safe.”

“And you think that’s helped?”

“Of course.” She nods. “I mean, I was sixteen when I had sex for the first time. Which was before all my friends and after that I was the one my girl friends came to for condoms and advice.”

“Was it good?”

She makes a face, “I mean, I think it was as good as two sixteen-year-olds having sex for the first time can be. A little awkward, some fumbling, finishing so quick.”

Elaine laughs, “Y’know that probably is as good as it can get.”

“Yeah.” She laughs.

“Were you like okay, I had sex this first time, I’ve experienced it, I’m good, or was it like me where you wanted to explore more.”

“Oh, I wanted to explore more. I didn’t have sex again for, I think like another two years. But I did so much self exploring. Just trying to see what I liked, what I was interested in, what I wasn’t interested in.”

“Porn?”

“Yes, there was quite a large amount of porn being watched. I read a lot of adult novels, guides, blogs, really just anything I could get my hands on.”

Elaine nods, tucking a leg underneath herself as she adjusts the microphone to be a little closer. “And this is something I’m curious about, how do you feel about porn? It’s something a lot of people are divided on, a lot of women especially.”

“I like porn. I enjoy it. Either just watching for pleasure or for research.” And she puts the last word in air quotes. “And please people listening or watching, if you see something you like in porn or are interested in, and this applies if you are reading something as well, look it up, read some guides and blog posts about it before doing it yourself. Just be safe.”

“Oh, please be safe. We have our own blog where we talk about different kinks, positions, various things and I urge you, along with everyone else who works on this podcast, to be safe with yourself and others.” Elaine says, addressing the camera before looking back at her. “So, you like porn.”

“Yes. Obviously not all porn is good, there are bad studios, there are overdone tropes, issues with the industry itself with it continuing to promote certain things because it earns them so much money. But I do enjoy it. It’s an industry that is always going to get criticized and hated and it deserves some of those criticisms without a doubt.”

“As a sex therapist, I do try to veer my clients away from porn, most of the time. And that’s mainly due to the acting of it. But it has its place in helping you learn and educate yourself. My issue is when people only look at porn and don’t look into things further.”

“Yeah, a hundred percent. It’s so important to not just take away things from porn but to take things away and expand on what you saw.” She nods.

“And of course I have to ask, what do you yourself like to watch in porn?”

“Hmm.” She thinks. “I think it depends on my mood. I think what I normally go for is something a little more rough. I’ve never really enjoyed watching people have like slow, gentle sex, not unless there’s something else there like overstimulation.”

“So, you like it rough?” Elaine asks.

She laughs, “Yes. It wasn’t something I had ever tried out before though until my current partner.”

“Really?”

She nods, “Really! I can admit that with my current partner, Charles, is where I’ve done a lot of exploring with someone else sexually. We’ve tried out many things.”

“Anything you guys didn’t like?”

“We don’t care for titles or honorifics.”

“You are crushing some dreams with that statement.”

“I know.” She laughs, well aware of the many tweets and things about wanting to call Charles daddy or sir. But it was just something that didn’t work for them in bed. The most was sometimes as a tease, she’d call him Mr. Leclerc and that was mainly to wind him up, not because the word itself was a turn on.

“What about things you’ve both enjoyed?”

“Oh, where to begin.” She teases, the both of them laughing. “Roleplay is one, bondage, edging, overstimulation. And I don’t consider this sex, but it is something we both enjoy a lot, cock warming.”

“That is quite the list.”

“Oh, just the tip of the iceberg.”

“Talk me through some of it. Bondage?”

“Yes. This was something we both had come into the relationship having never done before and wanting to do. We have the actual like rope you're supposed to use for when we do it, though sometimes we have used other things.”

Elaine shakes her head, grinning. “Of course you two have. I feel like if I see you two together, you’re always attached.”

“Pretty much. We both enjoy touch and Charles, despite all the interest in his personal life and how much already is exposed to the public, doesn't mind holding my hand or hugging or kissing me while in public.”

“Was that a worry of yours?” Elaine asks.

“Absolutely.” She nods, fingers interlacing. “I knew he’d at least, when I went to my first race, that he’d hold my hand, but I figured that might be it. And I didn’t want to bring it up since me going to Baku was so last minute for the both of us.”

“I’ve seen photos from that race and I would have never guessed that it was a last minute decision or that you two hadn’t talked about that yet.”

“Yeah, I got on a plane and was there by 11pm on Wednesday night, and the plane tickets had gotten bought maybe six hours before the plane took off. Charles had to send a photo of my ID to the front desk and had a spare key for me waiting since he had to be asleep already.”

“And then the next day, I mean you guys were very loved up.”

She grins, “we very much were. I think Charles knew I was nervous. We hadn’t officially been spotted together and he’s such a comforting person, very calming, so it was easy to not feel anxious with him holding me and pressing a kiss to my cheek every few minutes as y’know a bunch of people were taking photos of me and I’m being introduced to about a hundred people.”

“Which is overwhelming to say the least.”

“So overwhelming.” She nods.

“Though you might’ve liked that, since you’ve brought up overstimulation a few times.”

Her hands come up to hide her face, laughing into them, before they fall back into her lap. “I’d apologize, but I like what I like.”

“So it’s you being overstimulated.”

“Oh, absolutely. I find it very enjoyable.”

“I’ve never actually really talked about overstimulation, what is that you like about it? That you find to be enjoyable?”

“It’s the near constant feeling of too much, it’s so much pleasure just back to back, and everything depending on how you're doing it, can feel just like raw? And exposed? And you don’t think you can orgasm one more time, you just can’t again, but then you can and it feels at least in my experience just so good and then you do it again and again, and every time the pleasure of it just washing over you is even more and more and it’s the only thing you can focus on, everything else just fades away.”

“You make me want to try it.” Elaine laughs.

—

Charles’ head immediately perks up when he hears the hotel door open. “Chérie! How was the podcast?”

She smiles, setting her bag down, before moving over to the couch where Charles is sitting and happily sitting in his lap before Charles can pull her down. “It was good.” She finally says after kissing him.

He hums, “How good?”

She thinks, playfully humming as her fingers run through his hair. “Very good. I think your fans will want to kill me and so will Ferrari.”

He frowns, arms tightening around her. “Ferrari knows that you are allowed to do as you’d like. It is not like with,” He stops himself.

“I know, Charles.” She soothes. “But, they will be upset with me considering me talking about my sex life is talking about your sex life.”

He huffs, obviously not liking it, but he hopes that the podcast will do well, be received well, so at least Ferrari will be forced to accept it because fans like it.

“Did you mention me?”

Her eyebrow raises, “No. I want on a podcast to talk about my sex life so you obviously didn’t come up.”

He pouts at the tease and she can’t resist pressing a kiss to his pouty lips.

“Yes, I mentioned you. Multiple times and by name.”

He hums, moving his hands under her cardigan and top. “What did you say?”

“That we’ve done a lot of things together. That we like certain things.”

When she had accepted the invite it was only after a long talk with Charles, one she had to force, to go over what she could and couldn’t mention. Charles had been fine with her mentioning whatever she wanted. Uncaring that it would be out for the world to see, his colleagues, friends, and even family if for some reason they decided to click on it. He had stuck by that after their talk, though had asked her to keep most of the details of their roleplay and their love of rough sex to a minimum.

And it had been easy to not talk about what kind of roleplay they did and while rough sex had been mentioned twice, they were brief, just establishing her love of it.

“It did make me want to roleplay our favorite thing again.”

His eyes light up at her words.

It wasn’t often something they did, their favorite roleplay scenario, not when it required her to be in a certain headspace to really work, but she wants and craves it so much.

“You want to be my innocent little girl?” His voice has a bit of rasp, his fingers resting on her back, stretching out.

“Yes.” She breathes.

He leans forward, giving her a hungry kiss, his and her last chance to lose control, before pulling away. “Go get ready for me, bébé. I’ll find a place to have dinner.”

---

[munson-blurbs]

I don’t know if you do Steve or(I have mostly seen your Eddie work which I love by the way)Eddie

but I’m let you choose but ex reader and (Steve or Eddie) angst to fluffy smut at the end and maybe they saw each other at the bar or something and those feelings turn into sweet ole fluffy smut 🫡 ( PFT I don’t know if that make sense) 😭💀

Eddie exes-to-lovers? I'm in.

Warnings: smut (18+ only, minors DNI), unprotected p in v, fingering, angst, hurt/comfort, jealousy, the fluffiest smut I've ever written

WC: 3.2k

Divider credit to @saradika-graphics

You hated Eddie Munson. 

You hated the way he sloppily cut the sleeves of his Hellfire shirt in an obvious attempt to show off his tattoos. 

You hated the way he couldn’t keep a secret, always forgetting that they were supposed to be secrets in the first place. That’s how he’d spoiled your surprise birthday party. 

You hated the way he constantly sabotaged his own success. One would think he’d take you up on your offer to do homework together after his first failed senior year; instead, he’d practiced guitar riffs while you pored over your algebra textbook. Needless to say, he didn’t pass that year, either. 

You hated Eddie Munson and everything about him. 

And right now, you particularly hated the way he sat across the bar, talking to another girl and occasionally taking a sip of his drink. 

That used to be you, your fingers laced with his while he told you stories you’d heard one hundred times before. He’d bring your hand to his lips and kiss it, his lips curving into a smile before they even touched your skin. 

“I can’t believe you’re mine. Never gonna let you go, y’know that? You’re stuck with me forever.”

That ‘forever’ ended four years ago, when you went off to college and he needed to stay behind to finish high school. Cracks began showing as early as application season, the fracture complete once you decided to go to Northwestern without even considering Hawkins Community. 

“I don’t understand why you’d wanna go to that big, fancy school anyway. It’ll just be a bunch of rich preps and douchey frat guys guzzling beers through their assholes.”

You refrained from reminding him that he and Jeff had almost tried that same feat, and probably would have if you didn’t intervene. 

“Babe, it’s an amazing school. And I’ll be home on holidays and you can visit whenever you want.”

Even as you’d said it, you knew it wasn’t enough for him. It was a pulled thread in your tight-knit relationship, one that unraveled it throughout the summer. And just one week into your first semester, Eddie had uttered those dreaded words into the phone. 

“I don’t think this long-distance thing is gonna work out.”

That was that. The end of you and Eddie. 

Now, in that dimly lit bar, you tore your gaze from him and his date. Your drink shook in your trembling hand as you lifted it to your lips. 

Robin clocked your uneasiness, her eyes flicking over to where you’d been looking. “Jesus Christ,” she muttered, shaking her head. She glanced at you with nothing but sympathy. “You wanna get outta here?”

You gave your friend a grateful smile, but ultimately declined. “We just got our drinks.” You gestured to her barely-sipped rum and Coke. “We can go once we’re done.”

The two of you forged ahead with a conversation, but you couldn’t help stealing glances at Eddie and his date. Maybe it was the vodka making you more emotional, but tears pricked at your lash line when you saw him lean in and kiss her. 

“A-Actually, maybe we should leave.” You were only halfway done with your drink, but the thought of staying and continuing to watch him had you ready to hurl it all up. 

Robin nodded, grabbing her purse and closing out the tab. When she turned back to you, she froze. 

“What?”

“He’s looking at you.”

And dammit if your heart didn’t flip-flop. You did your best to ignore it, ignore the spark of hope it gave you. 

“He’s…” Your words caught in your throat. “C’mon, let’s just go.”

You couldn’t sleep that night. The image of Eddie holding someone else’s hand flashed through your mind every time you closed your eyes. And the way he’d leaned in to kiss her, like he’d done it one thousand times before—it gnawed at you from the inside out. 

Tears slid down your cheeks and seeped into your pillowcase. You would have gone to the ends of the Earth to make that relationship work, while Eddie threw in the towel after just one week. You’d called him up in the dorm’s common room, expecting to talk to him about your day. 

Instead, you’d gotten dumped via phone call. 

You gave up on falling asleep around 4:30 AM. Padding into the kitchen, you brewed yourself a cup of coffee and poured it into your favorite mug. Steam tickled your nose as you took a sip, savoring the cocoa notes and the bitterness you craved that morning. Last night’s events came rushing back as soon as the caffeine hit your bloodstream. Eddie. The girl. The way he looked at her…did he ever look at you that way? It was bizarre seeing it from a different perspective.

The morning air was already humid, summer’s heat seemingly always unrelenting. You stretched out your legs on the steps of your front stoop, letting your muscles unclench as you breathed in a new day. 

It was just you, a smattering of chirping birds, and…a car rumbling down the street?

Hawkins was not a busy enough town for people to be driving down your sleepy street at this hour, and it wasn’t garbage day.

From around the corner came a familiar van. Your heart lurched in your chest when it came to a stop in front of your house. No. There was no way. Someone else in town must have the same exact van as him…with the same exact dent in the driver’s side door from when he’d opened it into a tree…

You scrambled to your feet, coffee sloshing over the side of the mug and onto the cement below you. 

“Hey, wait!” Eddie called out from his open window. He was dressed in a flannel and jeans, no doubt borrowed from his uncle. Killing the ignition, he hustled over to you before you could get through the door. “I need to talk to you.”

“I don’t have anything to say.”

Eddie shook his head and blew out a breath. “Look, I just…I wanted to tell you this at the bar, but you ran off–”

“So you came to my house?” You rolled your eyes. “Not creepy at all.”

He ran a hand through his curls. It was then that you noticed the missing rings, the skin slightly paler where they normally wrapped around his fingers. He tracked your gaze and looked at you with a bashful smile.

“Can’t wear them at the plant. I gotta tie my hair back, too.” He slid a ponytail holder off of his wrist and pulled back his frizzy mane, scrunching up his nose. “Always gives me a headache, though.”

You felt your guard slipping with each word he spoke. “It’s probably just too tight.” Without thinking, you gently tugged the rubber band farther from his scalp. “Better?”

“Yeah.” His voice was soft. Tender. Everything you remembered it to be back when things were good. “Please…can we talk?”

Despite your lingering heartbreak–or perhaps because of it–you nodded.

Eddie’s shoulders sagged in premature relief; the difficult part still laid ahead of him. “I didn’t sleep last night. I couldn’t sleep last night. Not after seeing you.” When his hand brushed against yours, you instinctively pulled away.

“No.” You held your ground as best as you could. “No, Eddie. You don’t get to touch me anymore. Especially not when you were the one with another woman.”

“Technically, so were you.” The joke fell flat, and he cleared his throat. “All right, fine. It was a second date with someone I met last week at the Hideout. Not someone I’m committed to.”

“Right. Because if you were committed to her, you’d just break up with her on the phone.”

Eddie reeled back, your retort a sucker-punch right to his gut. He took a few seconds to collect his thoughts before speaking again. “You don’t understand how hard it was for me,” he finally said, “to know you were far away, surrounded by a bunch of smart guys, while I was in my sixth year of high school.”

“I didn’t care about that—”

“But I did!” Eddie crossed his arms over his chest. “God, I could just picture the conversations you’d have with your new friends: ‘Eddie? He doesn’t go here; he’s still in high school. No, he’s not younger than me. He’s actually a year older. He’s just an idiot.’”

A huff escaped your lips. “I’d never say that!” Did he actually think you’d even consider it?

“But you could’ve!” He scraped a tooth against his lower lip. “It would’ve been the truth!”

“Except you’re not an idiot,” you protested. “And throwing yourself a pity party isn’t going to make me feel bad for you.”

You downed what remained of your coffee, now only lukewarm. 

“No, I know. I know.” Eddie pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger and shut his eyes. “This is coming out all wrong. Please, can we just go inside?”

No. The answer sat right on your tongue. And yet you found yourself opening the door and letting him in. 

Eddie sat down on the couch, making sure to leave enough space for you. He sighed when you remained standing, but began speaking again nevertheless.

“I’ve thought about you every goddamn day. And I know that’s not enough,” he rushed to add before you could say it yourself, “but I need you to know that I have. I wanted to call you a million times, but I always talked myself out of it. Figured it would just make you angrier.”

“You could’ve at least apologized.” You didn’t bother hiding the hurt in your voice; that façade had long since passed.

He nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” When he looked at you, his eyes were glassy with unshed tears. “I’m sorry I let my insecurities ruin everything. I’m sorry I broke your heart. I’m sorry that I never got to see your dorm room, or meet your new friends, or watch you walk that stage at graduation. I…”

Eddie was fully sobbing on your sofa, wiping his cheeks with calloused palms. “And I’m sorry that I still love you. I’m sorry that I can’t seem to let you go.”

He’d laid it all on the table for you, not hiding a single card in his hand. His gaze was raw with vulnerability; it seared into the hardened ice encasing your heart. 

“When I saw you at the bar last night…when I saw you looking at me…” Eddie let out a huff of air. “Maybe I was just getting my hopes up, but it felt like a part of you might still love me, too.”

And as that realization unraveled, as it unfurled like a flower finally blooming after winter’s frost, you found yourself nodding in agreement. 

All at once, Eddie stood in front of you. “Please say it,” he whispered, delicately cupping your face in his hands. “I need to hear you say it. Only if you mean it.”

“I still love you.” Your nose grazed his. “I don’t want to, but I do.”

“You don’t want to because I broke your heart?” When you answered in the affirmative, he leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. “What if I promise that I’ll never break your heart again? What if I promise that it’s always been you?”

Your voice was soft, barely audible, when you told him, “Prove it.”

Eddie’s lips found yours, a magnetic pull that hadn’t weakened in the nearly four years you’d spent apart. “Course I’ll prove it,” he mumbled against your mouth. “Spend the rest of my goddamn life proving it.”

His hands slid up underneath your shirt, a ratty old tee reserved strictly for bedtime. There was no time to worry about it being the least sexy article of clothing you had; before you knew it, Eddie tugged it over your head and tossed it aside. He whimpered as he grabbed your breast, circling the nipple with his thumb. 

You’d only gotten two of his flannel buttons undone when you stopped. “Eddie, wait—don’t you have to go to work?”

Eddie laughed, his breath tickling your neck over the spot he’d been kissing. “I’ll just have to be late. Got something…more important to attend to.”

You couldn’t help but giggle at that, the two of you peeling off each other’s clothes until they lay in a heap on the floor. And then there was just you and Eddie, touching everywhere you could. 

“Baby.” The word was slurred, given the fact that his tongue was currently occupied with your nipples, your skin shining where his saliva remained. “Baby…fuck, I missed you.”

He was painfully hard, the tip of his cock flush against his tummy and leaking pre-cum. You wrapped your hand around the shaft, pumping him in a painfully slow rhythm. 

“Oh—ah!” Eddie hissed, steadying himself at your sudden touch. “F-Fuck, I—y-you can’t…too sensitive.”

You looked at him incredulously. “Already?”

Eddie nodded sheepishly. “You know how much I thought about this? Every time I…y’know…I imagined it was you.”

Just the mental picture of Eddie laying back in his bed, tugging on his cock while moaning your name, had you dragging him to the couch. No time to go all the way to the bedroom. 

The moment Eddie climbed on top of you as you lay on the cushions, his fingers drifted down to where you needed him most. His middle finger, then his ring finger, slid inside you with practiced precision. Picking up right where you’d left off. 

You clenched around him, your body greedy for more as his fingers moved in and out, in and out. 

“Eddie…” Just that one word was an effort; every brain cell focused only on the pleasure building between your thighs. “Eddie…Eddie…please…”

He nodded, his tongue darting out and swiping over his lower lip. “I remembered how much you love my fingers.”

It was true; his fingers were nothing less than magic. He swore it was because he played guitar, and maybe that was part of it, but the real reason was because he had you memorized. Knew exactly where to curl his fingers, exactly how to stroke your sweet spot until your legs were shaking. 

“You’re…you’re drenched.” He wasn’t cocky; he was awestruck. Absolutely shocked that you were so needy for him, that you’d missed his touch as much as he’d missed yours. “Gonna take care of you, baby, okay?”

You inhaled a staggered breath and melted into the couch. Eddie held total and complete control over you, and it surprisingly didn’t scare you in the least. 

The last thread of restraint snapped, your orgasm hitting you in waves. You cried out Eddie’s name. It was him bringing you to a new level of ecstasy. It was him giving you everything you could ever want. 

His movements slowed to let you float down from the high. His fingers were slick with your arousal, and he popped them in his mouth with a content sigh. 

“Tastes so sweet.”

God, you needed him. Needed him to fill you entirely. Needed him to clear your mind of any thought besides how good he made you feel. Needed him to hold you down and take whatever he desired. 

Your gaze dropped down to his erection. Eddie followed your eyes, then looked back at you. 

“D-Do you…?” He trailed off before composing himself. “I mean, is it okay if I—”

“Yes.” There was no other possible answer. There was nothing else you could possibly want besides that connection, that intimacy, with the man you could never stop loving. “Please.”

Eddie obliged without hesitation. He angled himself with your entrance, pushing into you so slowly that it teetered on agonizing. You knew it would feel good; it always had, even that first awkward time together. But this was something else entirely.

It was as though a missing puzzle piece clicked into place, unlocking everything you had stowed away over the last four years without him. Tears lazily flowed down your cheeks, but before you had time to be embarrassed, Eddie kissed them away.

“S’okay,” he murmured, continuing to thrust into you with utmost care. “You’re okay, baby.”

You managed a smile as you navigated the influx of emotions. You were okay. You were with Eddie again, safe in his arms, his touch both electrifying and soothing.

All that was left to do was sink into it. 

You accepted his love, wrapping yourself in it and savoring every morsel. One of your hands found his cheek, your thumb grazing over the hint of stubble he missed when shaving. His kisses were oxygen itself, breathing life into every cell in your body. Everything was Eddie. Everything was okay again.

And then you started to giggle. It was discreet at first, but then it bubbled over until your smile was too wide to ignore. Eddie couldn’t even kiss you without his lips touching your teeth. 

“Babe?” He cocked his head, examining you as laughter floated out of you. 

“Sorry.” Another peal of laughter. “I’m…I’m just so happy.”

Eddie grinned, ducking to kiss your neck. “Me, too. Me fucking too, baby.”

There was the ebb and flow, the give and take, the push and pull. You and Eddie, working in tandem to bring the other to their climax. 

Your orgasm blossomed deep within you. You dug your fingernails into Eddie’s back and wrapped your legs around his to draw him closer. 

“Ed-Eddie, I’m…” Your hips raised to meet his, filling in where your words failed. 

Eddie nodded and gently kissed your lips. “I know, sweet girl. Just let go for me.”

And so you did. With a cry of his name, you came. You let yourself unravel right there on the couch, and before long, he was joining you. 

“Baby, baby, baby.” He let out a groan as he spilled into you, giving you every last drop. His chest rose and fell as he withdrew and caught his breath, though he kept his hands on you the whole time. Like you might disappear if he let go. 

You reached up to smooth back a lock of his hair. You needed to look into his eyes, no obstructions, when you asked him the question weighing heavily on your heart. 

“Where do we go from here?”

Eddie flinched, clearly not expecting such a candid remark right after sex. He shook off his shock and replaced it with a smirk. 

“I say we shower off first.” His nose brushed yours and he kissed you once again. “And then I’d like to take you to breakfast once the diner opens. I think we have a lot to catch up on.”

You gazed up at him, taking in the chest muscles that had filled out with the addition of manual labor.

 A shower and a breakfast date. It was a plan—maybe not like the ones you made, where every moment was perfectly laid out. And it was more than Eddie’s usual fly-by-the-seat-of-his-pants demeanor. It was somewhere in the middle. A new equilibrium. 

“That sounds perfect.”

--

[sergeantbarnessdoll]

Forbidden Love » Bucky Barnes (AU)

Pairings: Farm Hand!Bucky Barnes x Farmer’s Daughter!Reader

Summary: Your parents forbid you and Bucky from being together.

Warnings: mix of Fluff and Angst, language, making out (18+), crying, unplanned pregnancy, pet names

Written on my phone. I’m sorry for any mistakes.

Header made by @buckys-wintersoldier

GIF IS NOT MINE! Credit goes to the creators. I found it on Pinterest.

You’ve had a crush on the farm hand since the day you met him. You would’ve never thought of being in a secret relationship with him, but here you two are. The two of you are currently in the back of the barn making out. Bucky has you pinned against the wall with his hands on your waist. One of your hands was clutching his white tank top while your other hand was on the back of his head, your fingers running through his hair. Your mind began to drift elsewhere. You were thinking of what your parents would say if they found out about yours and Bucky’s secret relationship.

“What’s on your mind, pretty girl?” Bucky asks, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Nothing.” You say.

“You sure?” He asks, moving his lips to your neck.

“It’s just-” You paused for a moment before continuing your sentence. “I’m worried about what my parents will say when they find out about us.” You tell him.

Bucky pulled his lips away from your neck and looked in your eyes, his hands moving up and down your sides.

“Let’s hope they accept us being together cause I love you.” He says softly.

“I love you too.” You say, smiling up at him.

Bucky kissed you once more before going back to work. You walked out of the barn like you and Bucky weren’t just making out. You walked in the house, thinking you were in the clear, but you weren’t. Your parents stopped you in your tracks.

“What were you doing in the barn for so long?” Your mom asks.

“Oh umm-” You paused to think of an excuse. “I was talking to Bucky while he was on his break.” You tell her, lying through your teeth.

Your mom looked at you for a few seconds. She knows when you’re lying. You felt yourself getting nervous. You thought your parents were going to catch you lying.

“Just don’t bother him.” Your dad says.

You exhaled a breath you didn’t know you were holding and mouthed “Thank god.” to yourself.

Later that same day, you went back to the barn. Instead of going to the barn, you seen Bucky packing up his things to go home. You smiled and walked over to him. Bucky gave you a quick peck on your lips before your parents seen you two.

“So I was thinking…” Bucky put his hands on your waist. “We should tell your parents about our relationship.” He says.

“Me too.” Your fingers fiddled with the buttons on his dirty and sweaty button up shirt that he had unbuttoned. “I’m pretty sure my parents are getting suspicious. I had to lie to them earlier and I hate lying to them.” You say.

Bucky could hear the nervousness in your voice as he looked down at you.

“I’m nervous.” You say, looking up at him.

“Me too.” He wraps his arms around you, holding you close to him. “They have to know.” He says, rubbing his hand up and down your back to calm your nerves.

“I know.” You mumbled, loud enough for him to hear. “Let’s get this over with.” You say.

You and Bucky went inside the house and to the living room where your parents were, watching TV.

“Mom? Dad?” You say, getting their attention.

“Yes, sweetie?” Your mom says, hers and your dad’s attention was turned to you and Bucky.

“Me and Bucky have something to tell you.” You say.

You and Bucky sat on the couch opposite from them. You took a deep breath before saying anything.

“Me and Bucky are together.” You say, getting straight to the point.

“What do you mean you two are together?” Your mom asks.

“We’re dating.” You say.

“No.” Your dad says.

“But dad-” You got interrupted.

“You heard your dad.” Your mom says.

“If I may…” Bucky starts. “I love your daughter and she loves me. If you guys are going to fire me just because I’m in love with your daughter, then go ahead, but that’s not going to change my feelings for her.” He says.

“I think you should leave, James.” Your mom says to him.

Bucky nods and stood up, patting your shoulder as he walked past you and left. You just scoffed and stood up from the couch to go to your bedroom.

“We’re not done talking to you, young lady!” Your dad calls out to you.

You didn’t say anything. You closed your bedroom door and threw yourself on your bed, crying in your pillow. You just wished that your parents would understand how much you love Bucky.

You haven’t seen Bucky in a few days. You knew what that meant. Your parents fired him because of yours and his relationship. You’ve been feeling sick lately. At first you thought it was something you ate, but now you’re thinking it’s something. It didn’t take you long to realize what it was. You could possibly be pregnant… with Bucky’s baby. You immediately went to the drug store to buy a pregnancy test and went back home. Luckily, you were home alone when you took it. You had it face down on the sink counter. You paced back and forth, waiting for the timer to go off. You jumped at the sound of the timer going off on your phone. You shut it off and picked up the pregnancy test. You took a deep breath before turning it over. You gasped when you seen a plus sign on it. Meaning that you’re pregnant. You grabbed your phone and texted Bucky.

You: Are you busy?

Bucky: No. Why?

You: Can I come over? I have something important to tell you

Bucky: Of course you can. See you soon

You shut your phone off and got in your car to go to Bucky’s. Before you knew, you were at his house. You knocked on the door and patiently waited for him to open it. Bucky smiles when he sees you. He stepped aside, allowing you to come inside of his house. He gave you a much needed kiss.

“What do you need to tell me?” Bucky asks. “You said it’s important.” He says.

“Can we sit down first?” You asked.

Bucky led you to the living room. The two of you sat down on the couch. Your fingers nervously played with the bottom of your dress.

“I’m-” You paused nervously.

“Whatever it is, you can tell me.” Bucky says, holding your hand.

You took a deep breath. You decided to be straight forward with it.

“I’m pregnant.” You tell him.

Bucky stared at you with a look of shock and surprise on his face.

“Please say something.” You say.

“I- we- we’re going to be parents?” He asks.

“Yes.” You say.

Bucky kissed you with so much passion that it took your breath away.

“We’re having a baby!” He says with a smile.

“We’re having a baby!” You confirmed, smiling.

Your smile faded away. You thought of what your parents were going to say when they find out about you being pregnant with Bucky’s baby. They didn’t approve of you and Bucky being together. They sure as hell aren’t going to approve of you having a baby with him.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Bucky asks softly.

“My parents are going to like me being pregnant with your baby.” You say.

“If they don’t understand our love, then we’ll find it out on our own.” He says.

You and Bucky spent most of the afternoon trying to figure out how you two are going to tell your parents that you’re pregnant with Bucky’s baby.

You two walked in the kitchen of your parents’ house. They stopped what they were doing and turned their attention to you and Bucky.

“If he’s here, it better be important.” Your dad says.

“It is.” Bucky held your hand in his, intertwining his fingers with yours to calm your nerves. “I’m pregnant.” You tell them.

Your parents looked at the two of you with wide eyes.

“When did you find out?” Your mom asks.

“This afternoon.” You say.

“Who’s the father?” Your dad asks.

“That would be me.” Bucky speaks up.

There was an awkward silence for a moment.

“You’re out of here.” Your dad says.

“What?” You asked, making sure you heard him right.

“You heard me, missy.” Your dad stands up from the kitchen table. “If you’re having his baby, then you aren’t living here with me and your mom.” He says before leaving the kitchen.

You packed up your stuff with Bucky’s help and moved in with him. You exhausted by the end of the day. You took a shower to relax yourself. Then you got in bed next to Bucky, cuddling yourself against his side and your head on his chest. Bucky wrapped his arms around you. You let yourself get caught up in your thoughts.

“Do you want to get married?” You asked, looking up at him.

“Of course I do.” Bucky says, looking down at you.

“When?” You asked.

You watched as Bucky sat up and looked for something in the drawer of the nightstand next to his bed. He grabbed a small velvet box and turned himself towards you.

“I had a better way of doing this, but I might as well do it now.” Bucky got off the bed and got down on knee. “Will you marry me?” He asks, opening the small velvet box, revealing the most beautiful diamond ring you’ve ever seen.

“Yes!” You answered.

Bucky smiles and said the ring on your finger. He stood up and kissed you passionately.

“We’re getting married!” You say with a smile.

“We’re getting married!” Bucky confirms, smiling.

Bucky got back in bed, holding you close to him with one arm wrapped around you and his free hand on your stomach.

“I love you, baby.” Bucky says softly.

“I love you too, Bucky.” You say in almost a whisper.

🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

-Bucky’s Doll

[usagikookiejams]

A/N: Hey peeps! Sorry for the long wait 👉🏻👈🏻 I was busy for quite some time due to the final examinations. I hope you guys don't mind me not updating for long. Okayy so here we go, enjoy!~

SOMEONE BAD MOUTHING YOU

Ryuguji Ken, Shiba Taiju, Sano Manjiro

⚠���Warning: curse words, aggressive behavior

Ryuguji Ken (Draken)

Today was weird, Draken felt like everyone was avoiding you for some reason. He couldn't quite put a finger on it. The school bell rang indicating recess time, he walked through the corridor to go to your classroom and have recess together. However, once he walked by the toilet, he heard a conversation mentioning about you, hence he halted his movement. "Do you know that Y/N from Class 3-1 was a bully during elementary school?," "Ugh, no wonder she's in relationship with Draken, they must enjoyed bullying people together during their elementary," the conversation continued which most of the time were about you. Draken couldn't hold it any longer, he has knew you since the elementary! He knew how you were a timid kid, and instead, you were the one that were bullied! That was why he came to your rescue and protected you since then. He approached those students in the toilet, "Repeat that again. I want to decipher whatchu you mean by that... ." They all frozed in their spot, not knowing how to reply. "He! He was the one saying that!," one of them pointed out at a certain guy. Huh..? Draken knows him, he was the guy that confessed to you before and he also went to the same elementary school you both went to. Draken felt enraged and grabbed the said guy's collar. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to say that!," "As if! You literally throwing dirt on her name and now you are denying it!." Fast forward, Draken arrived at your class but with the man tailed behind him, "Kenny, why is he here?," you asked curiously. "This guy will confess his sin in front of the school gate after school, you will see why," Draken smirked. Glad to say by the time the school ended, the guy were kneeling in front of you while screaming how he made up those rumour as a revenge for your rejection. The next day, many students approached you to apologize for believing those lies.

Shiba Taiju

Taiju were currently relaxing in his office room. He has ordered one of his subordinate to grab him a drink at the coffee shop across the street. He was minding his own business when suddenly he heard those subordinates of his were chit-chatting at the garden. He happened to hear their conversation due to him currently sitting by the open big window in his office. "Y/N has made our boss becoming less powerful! I hate her! I joined Black Dragon as I admired our boss so much due to his power and strength! But it seems like our boss has become mellow once she came into the frame. How I wish I could broke them up so that we gotta have our old boss back!," the guy that was ordered by Taiju has voiced out his complaint to another subordinate. Without a warning, Taiju jumped from the window and luckily he didn't broke any bones considering that it was quite high. After landing, he threw a punch towards the guy's face. The impact was very shocking, as the guy broke some of his tooth and coughing blood in the process. "I asked you to get me a coffee! Not to badmouthed my girlfriend, asshole!," he kicked the guy in the stomach. The poor guy sworn on his life that he was joking. "Joking my ass! You fucking think I'm dumb huh?!," Taiju continued to punish him. "Drag this guy to the torture room, do as I said or you will become the next target!," Taiju ordered the other subordinate. By the next hour, you entered his office and you could see Taiju was smiling by himself. "Err scary! Why are you smiling like that when no one is around?," you asked him. Taiju walked over to you and hugged you, "Nothing babe. I am just glad that a pest was diposed! He was such an eyesore... ."

Sano Manjiro (Mikey)

Mikey was currently waiting for everyone at the Toman's meeting area. While waiting, he saw some of the Toman's members started to gather there. It seems like none of them noticed him as he waited near the big tree. Mikey started to hear mumblings from the group, so he started to eaves-dropped to their conversation. "Where is Y/N?," "I don't know, maybe she didn't feel like tagging along this meeting anymore," "Glad to hear that, she's no use. I don't know why Mikey let her participates in our meeting. It's not like she helps us fight too." Mikey started to see red, what the hell were they saying about you?! He got up from his position and walked over to the group, "I agree with you guys! Ugh... why would I ever let her in the meeting with us, right?." The group fell silent, most of them looked at Mikey horrified. "Hey, why are you guys not talking anymore? It's okay, just talk! Fill me in with the gossip you have," Mikey faux his smile. They remained silent, that is when Mikey felt like he couldn't take it anymore. He kicked one of them swiftly, making the guy thrown away quite far. The other guys were now begging for forgiveness, saying that they didn't mean what they said about you. Fast forward, you arrived at the meeting area with all of the other founder members of Toman. You ran to Mikey as you saw some of the members scattered on the ground, "What happened Mikey?! Did the enemy group attacked you guys?!." Mikey turned to look at you, "Hehe nothing happened babe! These guys wanna have a match with me so we did, but as you can see, I won!." You sighed and scolded him not to hurt his members anymore. Mikey just nodded his head and walk you along to the other founder members. Unfortunately, the next day, those guys that were found scattered on the ground were nowhere to be found, hmm you wonder why...

[dokries]

that’s rough, buddy

pairing: kim mingyu x gender neutral reader

genre: fluff, (a bit of) angst, established relationship

word count: 1.6k

warnings: miscommunication (everything turns out well!), mingyu’s just a little forgetful, seungkwan best friend, a forehead kiss

author note: this was requested by a lovely anon <3 again, i’m so sorry it took me so long to get to it 😭 i hope you enjoy reading, and lots of love (as usual) 🫶

masterlist

mingyu thinks you hate him, and it’s not just because you haven’t visited his apartment for more than eight days—though that’s concerning as well; you’re usually over within a couple of days, even if you’re busy, which he definitely knows you aren’t, considering how much you’ve been going out with friends, namely seungkwan and chan.

he purses his lips, looking up at the ceiling from his comfortable spot on the couch…alone, just like the last two weeks. his phone dings and he opens it immediately, a frown appearing on his face when it turns out to just be seungcheol asking if something’s up between the two of you—of course he knows; seungkwan never even looked in mingyu’s direction the last time all thirteen hung out together.

mingyu sighs, responding back with a “ask seungkwan not me” before opening up to the last time you had texted him. he had said he was busy back when you had asked if he wanted to go to a photography exhibition, and you haven't responded to his hurried apology.

maybe it’s time to say something…? he pauses before sighing again, going back to staring at the ceiling, hoping the little stipples above him will make a decision so he doesn’t have to.

of course, the only reason you’re avoiding him is because you think he hates you—which may be a huge overstatement but what else would you call it? it’s one thing to not have time for dates because that, at least, you could understand. maybe it’s just that you’ve passed your puppy love phase, and that’s alright; you’re both very busy people but…why is he ignoring you? that’s not the mingyu you know, and it’s been almost a year since you started dating.

the most annoying thing is that he probably doesn’t even realize your anniversary is coming up in the next few days—though you’ve stopped caring (the dried tear stains on seungkwan’s couch pillow say otherwise).

so when he texts you while you’re at chan’s apartment, you frown in surprise, catching the attention of seungkwan, who’s beside you.

my gyu 🥰 ❙

hey it’s been a while since you came over… movie night at 6?

you move to pull up your keyboard but seungkwan stops you by quickly pressing the power button before you can even start typing a reply.

seungkwan glares at you when you start to protest, and takes your phone into his hands to prevent anything happening, as if he’s your parental figure. “don’t you even dare say yes.”

“maybe…” chan sighs and rubs his eyes with his palms, catching your attention—and seungkwan’s too, as he raises an eyebrow at his best friend, telling him to continue. “maybe we should give him a chance?”

seungkwan immediately scoffs and jumps into a rant about why you should do the exact opposite of what chan’s suggesting. “chan, have you not been paying attention these past few weeks? that man has left our dear baby—” seungkwan moves to shush you when you say you’re not a baby, continuing once you press your lips into a straight line. “he literally left them hanging multiple times, and all he had to say was ‘sorry i can’t make it sweetie.’”

chan frowns, tilting his head. “isn’t that what you’re supposed to say to your partner if you can’t make it?”

seungkwan pauses, sighing. “well…yes but come on, he could at least offer to make it up to them if he’s done this like ten times! also, he definitely forgot about their anniversary, which is so much more horrible.”

as seungkwan takes a deep breath to calm himself, you correct him quietly. “it’s been three times.”

“what?” seungkwan looks at you exasperatedly, and chan giggles from his seat on the chair in front of the two of you.

“i said he’s only done it three times. besides, he’s been busy…it makes sense for him to forget.” you hold out a hand to stop seungkwan before he launches into another spiel on how mingyu sucks as a boyfriend so you can keep going. “listen, kwan, i think spending some time with him would be right…but i’m not ready for that yet.”

seungkwan bites his lip before nodding, his expression softening. “okay. as long as you’re happy, okay?”

you hum in agreement as chan stands up, clapping his hands excitedly, and you exchange a look with seungkwan.

chan grins, pulling out an uno deck from a drawer in the table beside him. “how about we play uno to distract ourselves?” he nods towards you before smirking at his other friend. “i’m sure they’d love to see me beat you.”

seungkwan raises an eyebrow before scoffing again, raising his shoulders in a shrug. “well, lee jung chan, you should know you’re totally gonna lose.”

chan scoffs, and as your best friends start bickering like normal, you smile, knowing they’re amping up the dramatics to take your mind off…whatever you and mingyu are right now. well, you could think about your boyfriend after beating both chan and seungkwan in uno.

mingyu’s been sulky all day, and wonwoo not asking him why isn’t helping the sinking pout on his face.

he stares unrelentingly at his best friend as wonwoo faces the self-help bookshelf in front of them, searching for the book he’s been looking for since they entered the small shop.

“why are you like this?” wonwoo eventually breaks under mingyu’s pitiful gaze and huffs out a breath, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose before turning to his friend. “what’s wrong?”

mingyu sighs like he’s been doing for the past few days, and wonwoo puts the book in his hand back on the shelf, expecting his friend to not get to the point quickly (he’s right).

mingyu says your name quietly as a response, and wonwoo raises an eyebrow. “what is that supposed to mean?”

“it means that they hate me! i don’t know what i did either…i mean look, it was pretty busy at work so i couldn’t go on dates with them when they asked but that’s okay right?” mingyu frowns and bites his lip when he realizes he’s a bit too loud for the bookstore.

nodding, wonwoo processes the information he’s just been given before he puts a sympathetic hand on his best friend’s shoulder. “good luck with that.”

mingyu scoffs, about to scold the man in front of him before his gaze drifts off to the bookshelf in the far corner, where the two of you had been searching for cooking books around the time you had first started dating, which was probably around…a year–oh.

oh, he’s so dumb, isn’t he?

“hm?” wonwoo says when his friend pauses, looking up from the book he just picked up as mingyu groans and puts his head into his hands, moving to rest against a nearby bookshelf.

wonwoo looks over to the cooking section and turns back to mingyu. “hey, isn’t it–wait…you forgot the anniversary, didn’t you?”

mingyu groans again in agreement, and gets a head pat paired with a “that’s rough, buddy” from his friend before he’s left alone, coincidentally, in the relationship advice section.

seungkwan sighs as he comes back from checking through the peephole of your apartment door, gesturing towards it as he plops down onto the couch. “it’s for you.”

you raise an eyebrow, getting up to open the door—seungkwan already checked anyway, so there’s no need to look through the peephole again–and come face to face with mingyu, the man you’ve been avoiding. “oh.”

the paper around the bouquet of white orchids in his hands crinkles as he shifts his weight, a nervous smile on his face as he calls your name hesitantly. “hey.”

you nod in greeting before looking back to seungkwan, who’s glaring at mingyu with his arms crossed, and paying attention to the man in front of you as he clears his throat.

“i, uh…here.” mingyu pushes the flowers towards you, and lets out a breath of relief when you take it gently from him. “i’m sorry.”

you stare at him. “for what? forgetting our anniversary? for not apologizing for so long?” you sigh when he remains silent, looking back at the clock in your living room. “there’s only a few hours left of our one year anniversary anyway…it’s fine.”

mingyu shakes his head, coming closer to grab your arm gently with a serious expression. “no, it’s definitely not fine. i hurt you, and that’s not okay.” he pauses, frowning. “besides…i miss my partner–i miss you.”

you sigh, looking into mingyu’s eyes, and you know he’s genuinely sorry. you break your arm free from his grip, causing his face to drop.

you place the bouquet of orchids on the side table, and call out to seungkwan. “hey, kwan? do you mind finding a vase for these?”

“i have to make the most out of these last two hours of my anniversary with my boyfriend after all.” mingyu’s face lights up as you take his hand, still looking back at seungkwan’s soft smile, which matches your own.

you give mingyu a pointed look as you close the door behind you, trusting seungkwan to keep your small apartment safe. “but first, we really do have to talk about…whatever the last month was, okay?”

mingyu nods eagerly before placing a gentle kiss on your forehead as the two of you grin. “i missed you so much, baby.”

[sunny44]

The exes club

Pairing: Max Verstappen x ex!reader, ex wags x fem!reader

Warnings: ex wags.

Summary: Where all the ex wags are best friends.

Yourusername instagram post

Liked by @maxverstappen, @isahernáez, @charlottesiine, @luisinhaoliveira, @elenaberri, @katerinaberezhna and other 174829

Yourusername the exes club is reunited again

Ps: for sure the best part of ours relationship

Tagged: @isahernáez, @charlottesiine, @luisinhaoliveira, @elenaberri, @katerinaberezhna

Isahernáez I miss this so much

Yourusername and I missed you

Luisinhaoliveira love you babes

Yourusername love you more girlfriend

Maxverstappen I can see you’re having fun

Liked by Yourusername

Love4wags I love that the best wags are bestfriends

Mv33fan I miss y/n and Max together

User81 I hate the fact that y/n explicitly say that she doesn’t like the current wag

F1lovelywags

Model Y/n Y/L/N talking about the comments of her not liking the new wags.

Y/n was Max Verstappen's girlfriend until a few months ago when they decided to end their relationship.

She and the other ex-WAGs were often seen together in the paddock during race weekends, emphasizing that they were and still are best friends.

Fans are now commenting on her latest post, suggesting that she dislikes the new WAGs just because she shared that she and the other exes were out having fun.

Yourusername instagram stories

“It’s race weekend”

I was invited to attend the weekend in Monza.

It had been a while since I attended any races; it lost its appeal after Max and I broke up. We decided it was for the best, as my modeling career consumed all my time, just like his racing career did to him.

We no longer had time for each other, and it was driving us apart. So, the best decision for both of us was to take a break, which ultimately led to the end.

But here I was again, at a race, hoping everything would go well without any stress.

"Excuse me, Miss Y/L/N." I turned around to see someone from SKY Sports. "Could you give a brief interview?"

"Of course," I agreed, controlling to not roll my eyes as giving interviews was the last thing I wanted to do today.

"We saw your statement in your latest YouTube video regarding the comments on your posts. Do you have anything to declare?"

"As I said in the video, I'm not obligated to like anyone, even if that's what fans think. I don't personally know any of the girls, so the comments are unfounded, defamatory, and malicious," I said, looking into the camera. "I've always been friends with the other girls, and our friendship might have started here due to our ex-boyfriends working in the same field. But our friendship goes beyond that, so the fact that these so-called fans are bothered by something so trivial truly amazes me. Once again, I have nothing against anyone, so I ask you to stop trying to portray me as the villain just because you don't like me."

"Very well, thank you Y/n, for your words," I agreed and left.

I continued walking, stopped for a coffee, and on my way back, Daniel waved at me.

"Y/n, long time no see."

"Hi, Dani," I hugged him. "How are you?"

"Good, and you?"

"Good too, just the usual dramas."

"I saw; people don't have much sense.”

"Don't even talk about it. I don't know where people get this rivalry. It's not like I said anything about them in the post."

"Don't worry about it. Fans are just jealous because all of you dated who they wanted. The girls are getting hate now for dating them."

"Yeah, tell me about it," I sighed. "It's terrible for all of us. Max and I aren't even dating anymore, and people still hassle me."

"I can imagine. Heidi sometimes shows me some comments, and they're pretty nasty."

"Well, I need to go, but good luck in the race," I waved. Passing in front of the Red Bull garage, I was pulled inside, and when I saw, I was in Max's driver's room. "What the hell is this?"

"I wanted to see you," he said simply.

"And did you need to pull me in like you were kidnapping me?"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you and I wanted as few people as possible to see."

"Why? Are you ashamed?"

"Of course not." He stared at me. "How are you?"

"Look, you didn't pull me in here to ask how I am, and I know it was your idea to invite me, even though you tried really hard to make it seem like it wasn't," I said, and he looked at the floor. "So tell me, why so much effort to bring me here?"

"Because I wanted to talk to you."

"You could have called me or sent a message."

"I know, but I needed to say this in person," I agreed and sat on his bed.

"All right, I'm listening."

"I wanted to apologize for my fans. I heard about what happened with your last post, and I didn’t wanted you to go through all this because of me."

"It's not your fault."

"Are you sure? The fans are mine."

"It doesn't matter; they're not your real fans if they're such nasty people," he agreed. "It's okay."

Max sighed, briefly averting his gaze before fixing it back on mine.

"Y/n, I need to be honest about the other reason I brought you here," I nodded, encouraging him to continue. "I still love you, more than I can admit. Seeing you dealing with all this pressure and drama made me realize that, even with everything that happened between us, I can't just let you go. Not again."

My heart raced, and a smile formed on my face.

"Max, I feel the same way. I think, deep down, we never stopped loving each other. Maybe it's time to give what we had a second chance."

He smiled back, sincerity reflected in his eyes.

"Y/n, I just want to do this the right way, without rushing, and make sure we're both ready." I nodded, feeling a profound sense of relief.

"I'm willing to give it a try, Max. After all, what do we have to lose?"

And in the end, I guess I put an end to the exes club.

Bonus scene!

Yourusername instagram stories

“Ops, I guess the exes club is over for me”

[tpwk-formula1]

Kinktober Day 3 - Thigh Riding - MV1

Max Verstappen X Reader

TW - Thigh riding, blow job, deep throat, sub! reader

WC - 950+

Y/N POV

I allow my horniness to grow more and more while sitting on the couch watching Max on the Sim. I know he's not streaming right now which I use to my advantage because the next thing I know Im pulling my shorts and panties down before sitting back on the couch and playing with my wet pussy.

It has never been a secret in our relationship that I had a thing for Max's thighs. The way they kept tensing and relaxing based on how he was driving was driving me absolutely insane.

It didn't take long for my moans to grow loud enough that Max is turning in his sim to see what I was doing.

"Schat, what's gotten into you," Max asks breaking me out of the little world I was currently in.

"Please," I whine out moving my eyes from his thighs to make eye contact with him. I can see the smirk written all over his face before he gestures with a nod for me to come to him. When I get up I can feel how soaked I had become.

"What's got you like this," Max asks when I get right next to the sim. I can't answer I'm too focused on my soaked pussy which has juices starting to slide down my thighs. This has Maz's eyes flicking down to see just how drenched I was.

"Please, Maxie," I whine out when Max decided to take his hand and start softly teasing my throbbing clit.

"Gotta tell me what's got you like this," Max answered making me whine, 'cause he knows how much I hate admitting what's put me into the mood. Especially when it comes to his thighs cause for whatever reason I find it embarrassing.

I just flick my eyes down to his thighs hoping that was enough of an answer. This has Max chuckling a little before saying, "Words. I need words Schat."

"Your thighs, Maxie," I mumble out before making eye contact again and I can see just how smug that makes him.

"How?" Max asks cheekily while still teasing my clit.

"Maxie," I whine out.

"Schat, answer the question and I promise I'll give you whatever you want," Max says before sinking two fingers into my tight pussy which has me moaning out.

"They looked so good when you were on the sim," I breathe out finally which has Max pulling his fingers out and pulling me onto one of his thighs.

I didn't need any help, I was instantly grinding down on his thigh instantly leaving a wet spot on his gray sweats.

"Fuck, Maxie," I whine out once I found the perfect pace and pressure.

"Schat, you look so good. Drenching my thigh with your pussy," Max whispers out into my neck while leaving soft kisses scattered all over my collarbones.

The closer I get the worse my rhythm gets which has Max gripping my waist to help guide me.

"Can I cum, Maxie?" I whine out, feeling myself ready to fall over the edge.

"Cum for me, schat" Max tells me while speeding up his movements.

"Oh fuck," I moan out right as I fall over the edge. As I'm cumming Max continues the movements with my hips to make sure I ride my orgasm out.

As soon as I come down from my intense orgasm I instantly fall into Max's chest to catch my breath and hopefully allow the post-orgasm shakes to calm down a little.

Once I have fully relaxed into Max's chest I reach between us to fish out Max's hard cock out of his sweats. The second I get my hands around his cock Max is already started to moan out.

"Fuck, schat, feels so good," Max moans out as I start picking up my pace.

Without thinking twice I slide out of Max's lap and between his legs making sure to not hit my head on the desk or mess with any of the sim floorboard.

Once I'm comfortably on my knees I instantly take make into my mouth which makes him groan out at the contact.

"Schat," Max whines out when I start to deep-throat him. This was something we had been working on together for a while and I was happy I could finally put my new talent to good work.

When my nose hit his blond pubes I could feel Max start to shake, which signaled he was getting closer. While still actively deepthroating Max I start to massage his balls which throws him over the edge.

"Fuck, I'm cumming," Max groans out while holding my hair in his fist to keep me in place as he cums down my throat. I make sure to swallow every last drop of his cum before slowly pulling off of his cock with a loud pop that echoed throughout the apartment.

When I finally start to pull myself back into Max's lap I notice how massive of a wet spot I left behind which makes my cheeks grow red in embarrassment before hiding my face in Max's neck.

"Schat, don't hide from me," Max says while pulling my chin out from his neck before pulling me in for some soft kisses.

"Maxie, that's so embarrassing," I groan out still red in the face from how soaked I left Max's thigh.

"Nothing embarrassing, Schat! It's hot to see how good something as simple as my thigh gets you so turned on," Max tells me while pulling me down for a few more kisses.

"Let's go shower. I want you to come on my cock now," Max says while pulling us both out of the sim and taking us to the master bathroom.

[lovelynicho]

Hii!! I’m feeling angsty rn 😞

Andteam’s reaction when you walk away crying/cry or flinching in an argument you get the idea?? HSHSH hopefully it won’t be too hard to write and tyyy. Love your works mwaps!! 🫶🫶

&team reaction - to you crying/flinching in an argument

Pairing: bf!&team x gn!reader

Genre: angst, fluff

Warnings: one curse word in EJ's; mention of abusive relationship in Yuma's; not proofread

Notes: it's my first time writing something as angsty as this so I hope you like it; english is not my first language I apologize for any mistakes; and I'm sorry for not posting for so long, I didn't have the motivation to write😔

Masterlist

K

He's very strong, therefore he can be really scary at times. Especially when arguing. You hate arguing with him, so you usually try to leave when it gets a little out of hand, so both of you can calm down alone. Him on the other hand, although he hates arguing too, is a firm believer that everything needs to be discussed right then and there. This difference between you can cause some problems. Once when you were in a big argument with him, you decided that it should be ended, told him that you can't deal with that right now and you're going to your room to calm down a little, alone. But he didn't want to let it go, so he grabbed your wrist and continued yelling his problems at you. But his grip was too strong, it was painful. You looked at him, tears threatening to fall from your eyes "Yudai, it hurts" you said quietly. He looked at his hand and realisation hit him. He let go of your wrist, looked at you for a few seconds before saying "I'm sorry". Slowly and softly wrapped his arms around you and he kept repeating those words a million times: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm sorry...."

Fuma

Although he is the most gentlemanly gentleman to ever step foot on Earth, he is incredibly strong and has a really deep voice. These two things can make him seem rather scary when you guys are in a serious fight. One day a little fight went a little too far. Both of you were just tired, working more than you should so even a little misunderstanding can turn into fighting. You two were just yelling at each other. At this point you couldn't even tell why you started to fight you just had to let the tension out. But when Fuma made a sudden move in your direction you screamed and backed until your back hit the wall. You were just looking at each other. His eyes were in pain, more like worried actually. He slowly approached you and when you didn't scare away he hugged you, his lips next to your ears whispering. "I could never hurt you. I love you so much, I would never want you to be in pain"

Nicholas

Although Nicholas is a sweetheart, I think we can all agree that from the outside he looks rather intimidating, even scary at times. And this feature of his does not do any good when the two of you are fighting. He also seems like the type to lose his temper pretty easily which is also bad for the situation. Once you had a really big fight. Both of you probably knew that you could settle it calmly but you built up so much stress at work and from life itself that you just had to let it out and unfortunately you chose to let it out on each other. You were at fault too, you said something really hurtful to Nicholas and he felt like he will explode if he doesn't release the tension. So out of anger he hit the wall closest to him. But that was right in fron of you and for a second you thought that he aimed at you. So you closed your eyes and just waited while tears were falling from your eyes. But instead the punch you expected you only felt warm arms wrapping around you. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you..... I could never hurt you" he whispered. Then you just stayed there for a while, crying everything out in his comforting arms.

EJ

Our leader is such a sweet guy. Even though he's tall and quite strong you just need one look at his boba eyes and you already feel safe. His soft speaking nature also adds to the feeling of comfort he gives to not just you, but everyone around him. But as the leader he has lots of duties and also has to take care of not less than eight people. Believe me when I say, sometimes man is tired. And that day when he went over to spend time with you he was especially tired and stressed from work, he just didn't want to cancel the date because he hasn't seen you for what felt like forever. But when he got to you and you kept just asking him about his day and what they have been up to nowadays eventough he said he doesn't want to talk about work, he had enough. "Why can't you just shut up for a second? I cane over to have a calm evening but you just keep bothering me, I'm literally just wasting my time with you now" he yelled. His words shot straight to your heart. You managed to mutter a small 'sorry' and at least start walking away to your room before the tears started falling down your cheeks but he heard your sniffles. And standing there he knew, he fucked up.

Yuma

He probably wouldn't have scared you like that if it wasn't for your past. You had an abusive relationship before you met him. Your ex used to beat you up and it was hard for you to manage to get away from him. But with Yuma it was different. He was the nicest man you've ever met and the thought of him hurting you never entered your mind. But when you were having a rather bad fight every memory of your ex that layed in the back of your mind suddenly came back. That's the reason why when he lifted his hand as he was aggressively explaining something to you in the heat of the argument you instantly put your hands infront of your face as protection. You weren't scared of Yuma, it was more like an instinct, but he didn't know that. "I didn't mean to scare you" he muttered, much softer now than before "I'm so sorry y/n". "No, it's not your fault" you said as you stepped closer to him to assure him that you really weren't scared at all "it was just an instinct because of my ex. It really has nothing to do with you. I'm sorry" and with that you hugged him tightly. But he still whispered in your ears hoping to comfort you "don't ever apologise for something like this. It's not your fault love"

Jo

He's a sweetheart. I don't think he could ever even talk loud let alone make you cry. So if you cry in an argument then both of you cry, there's no other option. When you ended up in a bad argument you just threw every word against each other even if you didn't mean it. You hated it. Seeing him mad, being mad at him. You felt tears in your eyes, slowly rolling down your cheeks. When he saw that he couldn't say another word, instead he did exactly what you did, salty drops of water running from his eyes. You just looked at each other. No talk. Words weren't needed. Those things made you cry. You ended up cuddling on the couch crying out everything silently.

Harua

Usually Harua is a very soft person. I mean you can already tell it from his cute almost boyish looks. However when he's in a fight he can be surprisingly strong minded. You learned that in your first serious fight with him. He stood very firmly by his point believing he was right, when in reality he wasn't. At first you tried to convince him calmly but after a while you just had enough and instead of keep trying to solve the problem in a calm way you started yelling at him. As an answer he also raised his voice and even gesticulated to prove his point but the moves of his hands were huge and firm you've never seen him raise his hand this strongly before so as an instinct you flinched. And that's when he realised that he went too far. "I'm so so so so so sorry" he said already crying with his hands infront of his mouth. "I don't want to hurt you I swear" he kept going on about that. "It's okay I just over reacted" you answered as you softly wrapped your hands around his waist and pulled him into your chest.

Taki

This guy is always full of jokes and pranks. He just sometimes forgets to think about what if the given joke or prank is not funny but actually hurtful to someone. One day when you were at the dorm, this exact scenario happened. Taki just intended to make a joke but didn't consider that it was actually pretty hurtful to you. At first you just stayed silent because you didn't want to talk about how wath he said made you feel so bad. But when he noticed that you became more silent than before he tried to make you talk with another joke which was a huge mistake. You flipped out yelling at him about how hurtful his joke felt for you personally and that he should have considered your feelings. But his reaction to that was just him saying "relax, it was just a joke, if you can't take that, say that, and I won't tell it anymore" and that made you angrier. "Taki it's not that I can't take a joke it's just that your joke was not funny, it only made me feel bad and I can't even look at you right now" you yelled as tears started to roll down your cheeks. And with that you just left the dorm. In shock, he just sat down on the ground trying to figure out what to do.

Maki

Maki is a nice guy, everybody and their mother knows that. But sometimes even he can have bad days. Unfortunately you decided to come over unannounced to the dorm on one of those days when he would just rather be alone. When you arrived of course he was still happy for you, but in contrast to his, your day has been so good that you kept rambling. After some time you asked about his day and even after him saying that he would rather not talk about that now you asked one more time if he was sure and that was it for him. He almost started to yell at you infront of everyone in the living room but thankfully he still had the manners to keep these things privately. So he grabbed your wrist and pulled you into his room, shut his door as strong as he could and he started yelling at you only noticing minutes later that you were so scared from his sudden change of moods that you backed away from him and tears were built up in your eyes. When he realised how bad the situation was he decided not to talk anymore. Just went up to you and wrapped you in a tight, warm, comforting hug. A hug that lasted maybe five minutes, maybe ten minutes, maybe half an hour. You didn't know and you couldn't care less when you had each other so close.

[carisisrolledupsleeves]

“there is no way anyone is that innocent” with sonny? also can you include overstim + multiple orgasms for reader? thank you!! ❤️❤️❤️

..........

ooops this turned out to be really long hehe but i hope you like it! thanks for the request!

It’s been years since you had seen Sonny. After college, you had left to study abroad, and ended up staying. You had met someone, and had started your first serious relationship. Apart from visiting for Christmas, you had not been back home. 

But the break-up had been horrendous and so you packed up your stuff and returned to New York, to the comfort of your loved ones, to lick your wounds. 

The occasion was less than ideal. Your sister’s nuptials. For her sake, you kept a brave face, did everything to help her with the fairytale wedding she had always dreamed of. Your family being devout catholics as well as Italian, it had to be proper and perfect down to the smallest detail. 

And it ended up being exactly that. Although Sonny’s presence, and the fact that he looked incredibly handsome in his suit, was threatening to distract you for the entire ceremony. The priest hadn’t even gotten to the opening prayer yet and your eyes wandered, meeting his gaze as you stood by your sister’s side. He smiled in a way that made you blush, and remember all the things you had done with each other as teenagers, things your parents would probably disown you for if they ever found out. 

Following the ceremony, you had been too busy to even sit down, let alone think further about the way his lips had lingered on your upper jaw as he had kissed you on the cheek. Or the way he had whispered ‘You look so beautiful’ before your aunt pulled you away towards the car waiting to take you to the estate your family had booked for the celebrations.

But now that most of the formalities are over and the guests are eating, drinking, and dancing, you have snuck away to take some much needed drags from your vape pen, the kind filled with something other than nicotine. 

‘If you don’t share, I’ll tell.’ a male voice says behind you and you smile, turning around to see Sonny.

He looks even sexier now. He had lost the tie, and his shirt is unbuttoned just right, a bit of chest hair is peeking out. His hair no longer in its perfectly gelled state, having played with the kids in attendance all afternoon, giving countless of piggy-back rides. You catch yourself staring once more. 

‘Our parents would literally kill us.’ you hand him the vape.

‘Our parents would kill us for a lot of things, even fifteen years later.’ Sonny smirks as he takes a drag.

‘I’ll just say you seduced me.’ you shrug, reveling in the way he flirts with you.

‘And now? Seems you’re the one seducing me.’ he waves the pen at you and you snatch it from his hand.

‘I would never. All the naughty stuff? You taught me. I’d probably still be a virgin if it wasn’t for you, Sonny.’ you joke and he laughs out loud. 

‘Ohhhhh. Right. So that ex-boyfriend of yours was gonna wait ‘til marriage, huh?’ Sonny chuckles and you continue to tease.

‘Hmmm. Now I’m almost thirty and single and no one wants me because you ruined me.’ 

Sonny steps closer. ‘I want you.’ he whispers. ‘I’ve always wanted you.’

You take a deep breath. He isn’t joking around any longer. And the smug grin disappears from your face as you take in the serious implications of his words, and his actions as he lifts his hand to cup your cheek, your lips suddenly only inches apart. 

‘Sonny, I-’ you’re about to lean in when someone shouts your name. It’s your mom. Fuck. 

He sighs as you pull away, and you give him an apologetic look as you rush back towards the wedding party before your mother catches you with him, and the weed. Adult or not, you’re still a child and probably always will be when it comes to your parents, especially as the youngest daughter. 

You hate to leave him, the urge to be near him even more compelling now after his confession. There’s always been something between you. Yes, you had been kids back then; exploring, being curious, with a decent amount of teenage rebellion on top of it. Still, you would have never done this with just any boy. Sonny and you had always been each other’s first crushes, and there had always been a level of trust and intimacy with him you had not been able to find with anyone that came after. The joking, the teasing, even now it seemed you picked up right where you had left off. 

Being the younger sister of the bride aka running the errands and doing the things the maid of honor is too important to do, you are sent to get the lash glue they forgot in your room earlier. As you rummage through the mess you left behind when getting ready, there’s a knock on the door. 

‘Ugh, hang on!’ you grumble, opening this and that bag to search.

Another knock. God, fake lashes falling off can’t be that much of an emergency. 

‘Wait!’ you yell, getting annoyed.

‘Waited long enough.’ you hear Sonny’s voice say outside the door.

Oh. Oh. You drop the makeup bag back on the table and more or less leap for the door. The moment you open it, Sonny pushes into the room, pressing a heated kiss onto your lips, and you wrap your arms around his neck. You aren’t even surprised that he followed you, and that this is happening right now. In all honesty, you had hoped for it, even dreamed about it, from the second you found out he was coming to the wedding. Now, as his hands wander over your body, it’s more than obvious that he had been too. Reaching back behind him between kisses, you lock the door, and he smiles against your lips. 

‘Hmmm, guess I was right.’ he mumbles, his voice low.

‘Right about what?’ you ask sheepishly, pushing his suit jacket off his shoulders. 

‘That there’s no way anyone is that innocent.’ Sonny starts fumbling with the zipper of your dress and you turn around, making it easier for him. 

‘What do you mean? I’m a good catholic girl.’ his warm hands glide down your back as he pulls it down, revealing your dark red lace underwear. 

‘Good catholic girl, huh?’ his fingers trace along the fabric, underneath the waistband of your thong, pulling it before letting it snap back. ‘Did you put this on hoping I would take it off? I know you did. So innocent.’ 

You turn back to face him, your dress falling to the floor. Sonny draws in a sharp breath, taking in the sight of you, and you can feel the heat spreading throughout your entire body. The look in his eyes is a mixture of that boyish gleam of anticipation and the confidence of a man who knows exactly what he wants.

‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’ you taunt, making him laugh, but you kiss him again, with more force this time, turning his laugh into a moan. 

Truth is, nothing has ever been innocent about you when it came to him. And yet it feels so different now that you aren’t kids anymore. Even with your ex you hadn’t felt like this. It does scare you, even though it excites you at the same time. You start unbuttoning his shirt, your hands on his body like magnets, discovering just how much he has grown from an awkward, lanky boy into a man. Not that you didn’t love the awkward, lanky boy just as much. 

Your fingers wrap around his erection as your hands reach down his pants and he hisses, walking you backwards to the bed, unhooking your bra in the process. 

‘I really…have no idea…what you’re talking about.’ you repeat as you begin to pump him, endlessly thrilled by how you can already feel him leaking pre-cum, and dying to have him inside you. 

But it seems Sonny has other plans. Pushing you down on the mattress he forces you to withdraw from him, and he gets down on his knees, pulling your hips toward him, and all of a sudden his face is merely inches away from your lace-covered center. He’s so close you can feel his breath, making you shiver. 

‘Lie down.’ Sonny orders softly and you do as he asks. ‘Good girl.’ he whispers in response, and you just about soak your panties at his words.

Not that it matters, since he grabs the piece of clothing and pulls them off with one swift motion, tossing them aside. And there you are now, naked on the bed in front of him, and his long fingers slip over your clit, down your folds, playing with your wetness. Your moan is louder than you had anticipated as it leaves your mouth, and your body trembles at the prospect of what’s to come. You look down at him as Sonny spreads your legs open, his eyes staring into yours as his tongue darts out to taste you.

‘Fuck baby, you taste even more delicious than I remember.’ he purrs, again letting his tongue roll over your pussy, again making you moan. 

‘Sonny…oh my God!’ you whimper, and he grabs your thighs, settling between your legs. 

You nearly pass out. All you can do is lie there and hold on to the sheets as his adept mouth continues to work on your cunt. His tongue delves into you, drawing more slick, fucking into you softly before he’s back on your clit, and you can feel him spread your lips some more to get better access. Applying just the right amount of pressure he massages your nub, and you can’t help but reach down to run your fingers through his hair, pulling ever so slightly as he makes you shudder with every flick of his tongue. 

‘Mmm I could spend all day between your legs. I missed you.’ he groans, and you can hear his own arousal in his voice.    

You swallow hard, your pulse quickening as he keeps going, sucking on your clit while he plunges two fingers into you. 

‘Ugh, shit! Sonny! Please…’ you beg, arching your back as he starts pumping his fingers in and out, curling over your gspot.

‘What, my love?’ he asks, looking up at you curiously but you know he knows what it is you want.

‘Please…’ your voice getting more and more shaky as he picks up the pace.

‘Please, what?’ Sonny grins, licking your slit up and down, his face already wet with your juices. Oh, what a sight.

‘Please, fuck me.’ your flushed face turning even more red. You’ve never said this to a man out loud. 

‘I’m not done here yet. Not by a long shot. You gotta be patient. Can you do that for me, sweetheart?’ Sonny mumbles, his fingers pulling back a little to toy with your wet opening before shoving them back in, making you cry out in pleasure. 

You’re getting close. And you know he can feel it, in the way you grip at his hair, in the way you grind yourself against him, in the way you can’t help but clench around his fingers. 

‘It f-feels so g-good, Sonny.’ you breathe, as he mouths at your pussy, his tongue flat against you, licking from bottom to top, seemingly not getting enough of your taste. 

His fingers fuck into you harder and faster, as he focuses on your most sensitive spots. The feeling of his tongue on you paired with his pretty moans, the way he is getting so much pleasure from satisfying you, it’s all too much. You can feel the wave rolling in, your thighs beginning to shake. He had given you your first orgasm ever, and it had been so unexpected, you’d had no idea what was happening. Even the ones after had taken you by surprise, and you had mostly been shy about it. For some reason, you had always held back, especially with your other lovers, or they just hadn’t been as good at getting you there. Now back with Sonny, it was different. You are losing control and truth be told, you don’t know if you’re ready for it. 

However, you can’t stop it. The spring that’s been coiling tightly in your stomach from the second he started touching you, releases and you shake, trying your best to stifle a loud moan. You whimper and attempt to get away from Sonny’s mouth, his fingers that are still sliding in and out of you. It’s too much. It’s all too much. You sigh and finally push him away, closing your legs as you shiver. 

‘Hey…’ he exhales softly, grabbing your waist as you look at him shyly. ‘What’s that?’

‘Nothing…I just…can we just…’ you stammer, slightly overwhelmed. He looks at you confused. 

‘Oh, no. Wait. We gotta try this again. And this time you gotta relax.’ he slips his hand back between your legs, and you want to protest, being so sensitive after your climax.

He starts rubbing your clit again and you can’t help but open your legs once more, giving him access. Sonny is back on you, his tongue licking up your first release, and within seconds he is eliciting another. You close your eyes and your hands grab the sheets for hold, feeling yourself topple over again. It’s even more intense this time, your pussy and clit still swollen from your previous orgasm, having been denied to even come down from it. You spasm around his fingers again, your back arching, and this time, his name escapes your mouth in a moan, and he watches you intently as you ride out those waves of pleasure. 

But no, he still doesn’t withdraw his fingers.

‘Again.’ he whispers, circling your clit, pressing his fingers into your glistening heat as he spreads your thighs wider, and you feel like blacking out. ‘Let go, my love. Don’t think of anything else.’ 

You come. Again. And even if you tried to think of anything, you can’t. His free hand holds down your hips as your third climax crashes over you with a gush and it’s only then he pulls out of you, letting your pussy convulse and release a stream of moisture. Fuck. You don’t know what is happening but his mouth is on you again, tasting every last drop coming out of you, sloppily licking up and down your folds.

‘Good girl. Making such a pretty mess for me.’ he praises, and it finally registers in your brain. He had just made you squirt. And that definitely hadn’t happened to you before. Ever. 

‘Sonny, what the fuck?’ you choke, almost breathlessly. 

‘Language!’ he smiles as he gets rid of his pants and underwear, finally crawling up, kissing you deeply as he grabs your hips. 

The taste of you on his lips makes you even more delirious as he thrusts into you, his cock feeling bigger than ever in your overstimulated core. You whine, and you’re already starting to bliss out, again. Sonny is close just from eating you out, you can tell but he’s holding back, burying himself inside you while his thumb finds your clit. 

‘I love seeing you cum.’ he growls into your ear before his lips capture yours once more. 

And yes, you come again. There really is no point of holding back any longer. You fully give yourself over to him, and this blinding ecstasy. He really seems to revel in it, and now that he is inside of you, it is even more intense. Sonny gasps as you squeeze him, your walls beginning to spasm, making it almost difficult to pump into you. You claw at his back, rolling your hips against his as you moan a string of curse words at which he grins. 

‘You gotta stop.’ you cry, as he picks up the pace, pounding into your delicate pussy.

‘I’m not done with you.’ Sonny smirks, biting at your neck as you keep scratching and digging your nails into him.

Oh God. Good Lord. You can’t even think straight anymore. You have lost count of your orgasms, not that it matters because he seems to want to make you come as many times as possible until he can no longer hold back himself. Arching your back you meet his rough thrusts, feeling him smile against your lips as he kisses you passionately. His thumb hasn’t left your clit, keeping pressure there, rubbing to intensify your pleasure if that’s even humanly possible. You are on another plane. You might as well be on another planet. You have lost all sense of time and space, the only things to exist are Sonny and you. With each thrust, his cock hits your gspot in the most delightful way, and your body begins to curl in on itself, pussy throbbing and clenching around him. 

‘I love it when I can feel you burst around me.’ he groans, sending you over the edge to another orgasm. 

‘S-Sonny! Jesus fucking Christ!’ you scream, pressing your head back into the mattress as you desperately cling to him, shaking.

Sonny grins at your profanities; he has you exactly where he wanted you -  completely undone. He pushes up your legs, positioning them over his shoulders, fucking into you, even deeper than before. 

‘Fuck, baby, fuck, you’re so wet! Fuck!’ he’s close now, you can feel it. 

‘I want you to cum inside me.’ you purr into his ear, your words driving him crazy.

He growls, ramming into you as he plays with your clit. You know he’s going to make you come again but you want to hold back, want to feel him come with you. Crying out his name you hold on to him, purposely clenching your walls to squeeze him and he bites your lip in response, the slight pain adding to your pleasure even more. Just as you feel yourself topple over again he tenses, and as your pussy pulses, pulling him in even deeper, he finally lets go, spilling inside of you. He moans your name, pumping his cum into you, the sensation too much for your overwrought cunt. You can’t stop shaking, and he’s hugging you tightly, the two of you collapsing together. 

You don’t know how long you stay like this, breathing heavily, your bodies tangled in soaked sheets. Messy, crazy, wild, out of control; just how sex is supposed to be, and it took you reuniting with your first true love to unleash this feral side of you. 

‘What are you thinking about?’ Sonny asks, pushing back a strand of hair from your face.

‘That you were my first. And you should be my last. Because fuck, I don’t think anyone will ever make me cum like this ever again.’ you smile, kissing him.

‘Well…that was my plan all along, I’m glad I succeeded.’ he admits, pulling you even closer.

request a prompt from the smut prompt list 🔥

[fluentmoviequoter]

April Fools In Love

Pairing: Tim Bradford x fem!cop!reader

Summary: When Angela convinces you to prank Tim by pretending to leave him on April 1, you plan to get through the day quietly and then split your winnings with Tim. Then Wade assigns you and Tim to ride together, and the day is anything except quiet.

Warnings: discussion of bets (Angela and Nolan start it lol), angst, arguments, gunfire (no major character injuries), fluff

Word Count: 3.1k+ words

Picture from Pinterest

Masterlist | Tim Bradford Masterlist | Request Info/Fandom List

You know it won’t end well. But when Angela and Nolan bet you $100 each that you wouldn’t do it, what were you supposed to do? Say no? Besides, if it works (and you’re terrified it will), you and Tim will have over $1,000 to split. You just have to break his heart first.

When Tim gets out of bed before the sun comes up, you’re already awake. It seems like forever as you lay in bed and wait for him to leave. But, while you’re alone in the house and preparing to pull off the biggest April Fool’s Day prank of your life, you miss him. Angela’s genius idea to prank Tim by pretending to leave him was never a good idea but as the betting pool grew in the Mid-Wilshire station, you let the money convince you. Your heart and Tim’s are on the line, and you can only hope he knows you well enough by now to see what you’re doing and play along.

Once all your belongings are hidden in the spare closet and every trace of you is gone from Tim’s house, you leave a note on Tim’s nightstand and leave. You intend on returning, as long as Tim will let you by the end of the day. It was Nolan and Lucy’s idea to send you to Lucy’s apartment at the end of shift, the proverbial “cherry on top” to convince Tim that your relationship is truly over. As you walk to your car, anxiety builds in you, and you consider backing out. It would cost money but save your sanity and your relationship. So, you only have one question: What would Tim do? The answer comes to you immediately: lie to the bet makers and win even if you lose. Now, you just have to figure out how.

Entering roll call is everything you expected it would be. There are countless eyes on you, and your lack of greeting is what Nolan needs to know you’re going through with it.

“Honestly, I didn’t think you’d do it,” he whispers from behind you. “No offense.”

“That is the least offensive thing you’ve ever said to me,” you answer quickly. “But just remember that you have to ride with me tomorrow, and anything that happens to me today is your fault.”

Nolan’s eyes widen before you turn in your seat. Breaking Tim’s heart will hurt, but yours is already fractured just from the idea. When Grey enters and gives assignments for the day, you hope that work will distract you for as long as possible. If Tim doesn’t find out until he gets off, you only have to lie to him and avoid him for a few hours before the day ends.

Wade says your name and the smile on his face concerns you. You take a deep breath before asking, “Yes, sir?”

“Bradford needs someone to ride with him today. Now, you can say no.”

You open your mouth to say no, but he raises a hand to stop you.

“Or,” Wade continues. “We can double the current pool if you say yes.”

“Double?” you repeat incredulously. “That’s-“

“Over three thousand dollars. At the moment.”

You stare at the board behind Wade before nodding. “Okay.”

The room erupts into cheers and yells, but you drop your head into your hands and ask yourself why you’re selling your heart for a few thousand dollars.

“Bradford’s waiting,” Wade says as the room silences again.

“I hate all of you,” you mumble as you exit.

“Yet you seem interested in our money!” Lucy calls behind you. “See you at home later!”

Tim is waiting by the war room, and he smiles when he sees you. You don’t return the smile, not because you’re mad at him, but because you’re worried about everything.

“Are you okay?” he asks as you approach him.

You nod, but Tim doesn’t move. “Can we go?” you ask.

Tim’s smile drops as he nods. You lead the way to the shop, and Tim’s eyes are on you the entire way. Once you’re in the car and all the cameras are on, you hope he’ll stop talking and leave everything alone, but you also know that won’t happen.

“Why are you out on patrol?” you ask.

“Looking for leads on a gun trafficking case. We’ve got a few buyers who either don’t know or won’t tell who’s running the operation,” Tim answers.

You hum and look out the windshield. The computer on the dashboard has a few possible suspects, and you keep an eye open for them. Los Angeles is big, so finding three low-level gun sellers (alleged gun sellers) won’t be particularly easy. The long day alone with Tim would be a reward any other day, but not today.

Lucy’s voice comes through the radio as she says your name. You reach for the channel to change it, but Tim’s brows furrow, and you stop.

“Are you sure about this?” Lucy asks. “I mean, of course, you’re welcome to stay with me, but maybe you should just talk to Tim.”

“About what?” Tim asks you.

“Nothing,” you answer quickly. It comes out short and harsh, and you decide to take your anger out on Lucy. “No personal lives on the radio, Chen,” you demand.

“I agree,” Wade adds. “But no one wants to see either of you hurt. You’re with Bradford all day, just talk to him.”

“I don’t have to because he can hear you,” you snap before switching the channel.

Tim drives a few blocks in silence. He glances over at you every time he has to stop.

“Are you going to ignore me all day?” Tim asks. “Because I can go back to the station and get someone else to come with me.”

“Your choice,” you reply.

“Okay,” Tim says. His hands grip the steering wheel tighter. “Are you staying with Lucy tonight?”

“I’m not talking about this right now, Sergeant Bradford. You are my superior and this doesn't seem appropriate,” you say.

Tim knows something is wrong; you won’t look at him, and your answers aren’t really answers. He pulls into an alley and switches off his body cam and the dash cam.

“Dispatch this is Bradford, switching radio off to approach the suspect. Will advise,” he radios.

“Copy, Bradford.”

Tim gestures toward your body cam, and you ask, “Why?”

He rolls his eyes and reaches across the console to pull the cam away from your chest. His hands are gentle on you, but he tosses the camera haphazardly onto the dash after switching it off.

“No cameras, no radios,” Tim says. “Now what is your problem?”

“Yeah, because I’m the one with a problem,” you reply, crossing your arms over your chest. “We’re supposed to be working, Tim. Drive.”

“Not until you tell me why you’re snapping at everyone. Being grumpy is kind of my thing.”

“Clearly,” you say with a chuckle.

“If you’re mad at me, just say it.”

“This is not the place or the time.”

“So, I’m just supposed to deal with this attitude all day?”

“I deal with yours.”

Tim rolls his eyes and leans back in his seat.

“I’m not staying with Lucy tonight. I’m staying with her until I can find my own place, so you don’t have to deal with my attitude for much longer.”

Tim’s jaw unclenches as he looks at you. You’re looking down at your lap, but you can feel his eyes on you.

“What does that mean?” Tim asks quietly. His anger is gone; it disappeared when you said you weren’t going home with him... to him.

“I can’t keep doing this, Tim.” I can’t keep lying to you, is what you mean.

“Then don’t.” You shake your head, and Tim presses, “Don’t do this. Whatever happened, we can work through it, right?”

“Not right now.”

Tim falls silent and tears his eyes away from you. He can’t decide whether to be upset or angry, but he turns all of the cameras back on and shifts the car into reverse to back out of the alley. You snatch your body cam from the dash and put it back on, but you miss the feeling of Tim’s hands.

“If not now, when?” Tim asks as he stops at a red light.

“I don’t know,” you whisper. “Report.”

Tim glances over at you quickly, and when you move your fingers toward the radio, he realizes you’re talking to him as a cop, not as someone who loves him.

“Dispatch, I’m code 4,” he says quickly.

As you continue driving around Los Angeles, the minutes stretch into hours. Tim has stopped talking to you, and the radio has been quiet. Your fingers bounce against your thigh in rapid succession, and if something doesn’t happen soon, you may burst into tears and tell Tim everything.

“Bradford,” Angela radios, “switch to a private channel.”

He does, but when he pulls the radio to him, his movements make you flinch. “What?” he asks, his grumpiness returned in full.

“Are you alone?”

“No.”

“Okay, good.”

You hold your breath as you wait to hear what Angela will say next.

“We got a hit on one of your perps. Was seen near a cigar store somewhere off La Brea.”

“That’s not helpful, Lopez,” Tim snaps. “Anything else you can give me?”

“The Debonair Cigar Lounge,” you inform. “It’s on La Brea and there’s tons of reports of illegal back door sales. Nothing we’ve ever been able to prove.”

Tim nods and drops the radio.

“You seem in high spirits,” Lopez adds. “Your captain is waiting for your report.”

“10-4,” you radio.

✯✯✯✯✯

After a waste of time at the cigar lounge, you and Tim follow several more tips. The sun is going down and Tim’s shift is nearly over by the time you catch one that seems helpful.

“Don’t you need to get back to the station?” you ask. “We don’t have time to track this and for you to report to your captain.”

Tim ignores you and pulls into another alley. Why does LA have so many dirty alleys? And why are they Tim’s preferred argument location?

“You said it earlier, I’m your superior. If you’re not going to answer my questions, I’m not going to accept your advice,” Tim explains.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” you argue. “Me not wanting to talk about our relationship issues in the shop is not the same as reminding you that you have other duties.”

“Oh, now they’re relationship issues. That sounds like talking about them.”

You tip your head back against the seat and sigh. Something moves in the alley, and you lean forward to watch for it.

“Just tell me what is bothering you!” Tim says. You don’t answer, too interested in what is or isn’t moving in the shadows, but Tim takes it as you voluntarily ignoring him. “Fine, you don’t want to talk? I can wait.”

“Bradford, drive,” you say quickly. 

“No.”

“Tim!” you yell.

The worry in your voice causes Tim to look forward, and the man you’ve spent the day looking for is standing in the middle of the alley and pointing a gun at you.

“Get down,” Tim demands.

You lean toward him over the console as he jerks the gear shift down. Before he can move, the man starts shooting. Tim leans over you as he backs out of the alley. While he gets you to safety, you radio for backup. The car slides to a graceless stop as a bullet takes out the front tire on your side.

“I’m going to Lucy’s because I can’t stay with you tonight,” you admit.

Your voice is raised over the continued gunfire, but Tim’s face is pressed beside yours as he drapes his body over you. His protectiveness is one of many things that you love about him, and as you prepare to tell him the truth, you’re more grateful for it than ever.

“You’re leaving me?” Tim asks.

“Tim, what day is it?” you ask.

A bullet breaks your window, and Tim pulls himself tighter against you as he raises his gun toward the opening. The man is nearing you, and Tim waits for him to get close enough before rising up so he’s visible.

“April Fools,” Tim answers as he fires a single shot.

He leaves you alone in the shop as he runs to the downed gunman. The bullet hit his leg, far from fatal, and Tim cuffs him before putting pressure on the wound.

“I can’t believe you just broke up with me while we were being shot at,” Tim yells angrily.

He winks at you quickly, a nearly invisible movement. His jaw remains clenched, though, and you can’t tell if he’s mad at you or the man who tried to kill you.

“Bradford!” Angela yells as she exits her car. “What happened?”

Tim pushes the man toward another Metro officer and turns away from you.

“Plenty,” he answers before walking away. “Give her a ride.”

You lick your lips as you watch Tim leave with Metro. 

“You told him?” Angela asks. “How did that go?”

“He seems mad,” you answer.

“This may be better than expected. I’m taking you to Lucy’s.”

“But I need to-“

“Grey knows,” Angela interrupts. “Let’s go.”

✯✯✯✯✯

“Just sit down,” Lucy pleads. “Tim cares and he’ll talk to you eventually.”

“I told Tim that I was leaving him when all I wanted to do was tell him I love him,” you point out. “I’m not going to sit down.”

Lucy sighs and turns away. She had enjoyed the idea before this moment, but now that you and Tim are both understandably miserable, it isn’t as much fun.

“Incoming,” Tamara whispers dramatically as she opens the door.

“Where’s your stuff?” Tim demands as he steps inside.

“Not with me,” you answer honestly.

“Then let’s go.”

“Where?”

Tim fixes his eyes on yours. There’s a storm in them, and it’s a dangerous one. You decide not to fight him and instead walk toward him.

“Hey, you can talk here,” Lucy offers.

Tim doesn’t reply as he closes the door behind him. You walk wordlessly beside him as he takes you to his truck. Once you’re inside, he runs his fingers through his short hair before hitting his open palm against the steering wheel.

“I know you pointed out that it’s April Fool’s Day,” he begins. “But when I get home and all of your stuff is gone, it’s a little hard to believe it’s a joke.”

You glance at the clock and see that there’s still a little over an hour left until midnight. If you want the money, you can’t do anything until then.

“I put it somewhere,” you say quietly. “Until I knew for sure what I was going to do.”

“Are you going to give me a real answer?”

You look at the clock again, but this time Tim follows your movement. He sits back in his seat and turns on the radio.

“I’ll wait,” he offers.

“Why?” you ask. “After everything I did this morning?”

“Lots of words for it: love, stupidity, obsession. Take your pick.”

“April Fool’s Day was more fun last year,” you mutter.

Tim smiles as he remembers; you had tried to convince everyone in Mid-Wilshire that you and Tim hated one another and that any memory that had otherwise was a figment of their imagination. When you got home that night, Tim kept up the act until you threatened to take Kojo in the divorce, and then you got the attention you’d been missing all day.

As the clock inches closer to midnight, you lean back as well and simply sit beside Tim. Your phone rings and you sigh when you see Angela’s name.

“Hello?” you answer.

“Where are you?” she asks.

“Outside Lucy’s apartment.”

“Is Tim still with you?”

“Why would Tim be with me?”

Tim shakes his head beside you, and you remember when he told you about the bet with Lucy when she tried to set him up and failed. You met the next day and then Tim won the bet, he had said.

“Are you planning to call him at midnight?” she asks.

“Yes! I have been lying to him all day, Angela, of course I’m going to call and tell him.”

Angela sighs, but it sounds funny.

“What?”

“He blew up on his Metro team. There’s a chance he may not be able to forgive you, or… won’t want to.”

You glance over at Tim, and he cocks his head at your furrowed brows.

“So, he’s really mad,” you repeat softly. “And my apologies won’t be good enough.”

“I don’t know that for sure!” Angela soothes.

What actually works to make you feel better is Tim’s hand taking yours. The clock changes, and you hang up. 12:00 am, April 2. 

“I’m so sorry,” you whisper.

The fear you’ve been pushing down all day appears as tears, and Tim cups your face to wipe them away.

“My stuff is in the guest room, but if you don’t want me to come back-“

Tim cuts you off with a kiss. He pulls you toward him as he leans over the console, but it’s uncomfortable, and he breaks the kiss quickly.

“Please tell me you won something for your success,” Tim says.

You smile and answer, “Nearly three and a half thousand dollars.”

Tim’s jaw drops as his hands drop to your shoulders.

“I was thinking we’d go see a Dodgers game, sit behind home plate. Or you can have it all since I did ruin your day.”

“Watching you get shot at ruined my day,” Tim corrects. “But as long as you go home with me, no harm, no foul.”

“I really am sorry. I do love you, and I’d never leave you like that.”

“I know,” Tim answers smugly. “I stopped by the house after you left, and Kojo led me straight to your stuff.

“You knew the whole time?!” you exclaim.

“I had an idea. Asked Grey to let me spend the day with you to see if I was right.”

“I felt terrible-“

“And you should have! Kojo and I will need lots of hugs and kisses to make up for the emotional distraught you put us through.”

You roll your eyes, and once you’re sandwiched between Tim and Kojo, they don’t seem to accept your apologies unless they’re punctuated with some type of physical affection. Tim also takes the opportunity to yell at everyone involved in the bet when he gets to work the following morning, but the promise of another night and a Dodgers game with you makes it worth it.

[ssweetreveries]

messes & kisses

✩ wonbin x reader (ft. seunghan)

. 18+ mdni!

. word count! 3.6k

{oneshot, smut, nonidol!wonbin, nonidol!seunghan, fwb!seunghan, afab!reader, mentions of Anton and Eunseok, unprotected sex (wrap it up guys), thigh riding, oral sex (m.receiving), cheating, it’s a bit angsty but not really, kinda public}

a.n i apologize if there’s any mistakes, this isn’t proof read and english isn’t my first language, please bare with me!! i don’t know how i feel about this one, not super proud of it but i hope u enjoy! ><

synopsis . you meet a boy at a party and he makes you forget about all the bad things

With a hand around your neck and a knee between your legs, Seunghan continues roughly attacking your lips with his. “Fuck..”, you mutter breathlessly when he presses his knee against you. Making out in the campus’ bathroom stall with Seunghan wasn’t something new, infact, you could consider it a part of your routine at this point. You knew it was wrong, he was already in a relationship. At the end of the day though, you always found yourself going back to him. He was your drug and you were his.

You’re brought back to reality at the feel of his cold hands snaking up your shirt. “What are you thinking about hm?”, he whispers, his hot breath against your ear making you shiver. “Mmm, nothing,” you reply, attaching your lips to his once again. You have to bite back a moan at the feeling of his tongue in your mouth and the pressure of his knee against your core, and you can feel him smirk against your mouth. He pulls back for a second and– 

“Are you guys done fucking like animals, cuz your girlfriend is looking for you.” an all too familiar voice announces, making both you and Seunghan jump a bit, not having heard the door open. “Shit..” Seunghan mutters under his breath before pulling away and getting out of the stall. “Next time, maybe make your presence known instead of scaring the living hell out of us, Ant.” he says before exiting the bathroom. Anton just ignores him, walking towards you, his eyes softening a bit. You fix your attire in the mirror before turning to face your friend. “Do I look okay?” you ask him. Anton nods, “You’re good.” You hum and start walking towards the door, but Anton’s hand catches your wrist. “Y/N.” His voice is a bit too serious for your liking.

“What..?” you reply. 

“I’m not gonna keep covering for you guys all the time, you know? I know it’s none of my business but as both of your friends I think this should stop. For God’s sake Y/N, he’s in a relationship. You know he’s playing both of you.” Anton says. And you don’t know why but his words make you slightly angry. 

“Look Ant, I appreciate the concern but this is between me and Seunghan. And what do you mean, “he’s playing both of you”. I don’t feel anything for him, he’s only giving me benefits and that’s our mutual understanding.” You reply trying to state your point. Anton sighs, “I’ve known you for long enough to see the way you look at him, Y/N.” 

“Look at him how, Anton!” you reply, your annoyance level going up. “I know there’s something Y/N, I’m not stupid.” he says rather calmly, opposed to you. “And I’m telling you there’s nothing there!” you reply one last time with a huff before turning on your heels and leaving. 

You frown as you make your way out of the campus’ building. The truth is, deep down you knew you were mad because Anton was right. As much as you deny it, and as much as you hate yourself for it, there was something about Seunghan that tugged at your heartstrings. It’s not your fault he decided to go out and get a girlfriend. Your relationship with him existing long before her anyways. But alas, you guys agreed upon being friends with benefits after a drunken hookup and that’s all you were. You guys agreed not to catch feelings for each other so that was your problem.. for another day. 

Wanting to get your mind off things, you decide it’s best to head home and bury yourself into completing your missing assignments. And well, being left high and dry were not in your expectations today, so let’s just say getting there as soon as possible and taking a cold shower were also in your plans.

You enter your room as you finish drying your hair with a towel, noticing the dim screen of your phone lit up with a notification. You sit down on your bed, phone in hand. It was a text from Seunghan.

{hani<3}   hey 10:26pm

      Y/N? 10:39pm

{y/n}       heyyy, what’s up? I was in the shower 10:40pm

{hani<3}   ur good 10:40pm

       my friend is throwing a party this friday 10:41pm

      wanna go with me? 10:41pm

{y/n}         uhh, what about ur gf 10:42pm

{hani<3}   dw about her, she’ll be out of town 10:42pm

      so? 10:43pm

{y/n}       I’ll come 10:43pm

You answer before closing your phone and throwing it on your bed. You groan, knowing you shouldn’t have said yes but.. Whatever, as much as you hate it, you can’t lie and say you don’t like spending time with him. 

You spent the last few days anticipating friday, but now you find yourself nervously fiddling with the hem of your little black dress, waiting outside of your apartment for Seunghan to pick you up.  

A car pulls up and you recognize it as Seunghan’s. When it stops, you open the door and get in. 

“Hey,” he says, giving you a sly smile. You greet him back as you buckle the seatbelt. As he drives away, his hand makes its way to your thigh, gripping it slightly. Seunghan looks at you and smirks when he hears your breath hitch. “Stay focused on the road..” you mutter. He simply hums, amused. He does as told, eyes looking forward but his hand remains on you, massaging circles on your plush skin with his thumb. 

You can feel his hand snake higher when he pulls up in the driveway of a bustling house. “Seunghan,” you say under your breath. He chuckles and stops the engine before taking his hand away, and you shiver at the now lack-of warmth on your thigh. “C’mon, let’s go in.” he says before getting out. You follow suit, jumping out of the car and meeting him at the front porch of the house. It takes a few knocks before someone opens the door. “Hey, man! Come on in,” says the guy, dapping up Seunghan. You soon learn that the guy’s name is Eunseok, one of Seunghan’s friends and the one hosting. 

Inside, the house is crowded with people. There’s people chatting, some are drinking, couples making out sloppily, some grinding on each other, there’s bodies pressed together everywhere. Not to mention the loud music and chattering. This is a party alright, you tell yourself. 

Seunghan pulls you along by the hand, taking you to the room where everyone is dancing with each other. The sound of the music is especially loud in this room, and you can barely hear each other. God, your head is already pounding from the noise. You definitely will need a drink to survive the night. 

You tap Seunghan’s shoulder. “I’ll be right back! I’m going to grab a drink, want anything?” you basically scream at him, so he can hear you over all the noise. 

He shoots you an ‘OK’ and tells you to get him anything, he’ll be waiting for you back here. 

You nod and separate yourself from his hold, maneuvering your way out of the pit of bodies. You exhale deeply when you leave the room, all the people pressed together were making it quite suffocating. 

It takes you a while to figure out where the drinks are, never having navigated this house before but you eventually do. You take two random mixed cocktails from the drinks table and make your way back to the dancefloor to find Seunghan. 

Upon entering the room, it takes you a while of searching until your eyes land on him. 

“What the fuck..” you mutter under your breath, heart aching slightly. Your eyes are wide as you stare at him and another figure next to him. Why was Seunghan with another girl? And why were they all up in each other’s business. You scoff and shake your head, trying to keep your cool.  But next thing you know, his mouth is on hers and they’re all over each other. 

Your heart drops and tears of frustration spring in your eyes. Seriously? You blink your tears away, Anton warned you, you just didn’t want to believe it. You knew Seunghan was a player, gosh, he was even playing his girlfriend with you. You just didn’t expect him to go off to someone else, why did he even ask you to the party then? You laugh dryly feeling stupid and used. 

You turn on your feet, making your way to the mostly empty room you saw when you passed by earlier. It was a more secluded area, the music also being less loud over here. There were a few people, a couple making out, two guys talking to each other at a table, and a guy on his phone sitting alone on the couch. 

You sigh and opt for the couch, the only sitting space available next to the guy. You set the drinks down on the table as you sit down, and take a sip of your now, much needed cocktail. You can feel him staring so you decide to take a glance at him too. 

Woah. Your eyes go wide, almost choking on your drink when you get a good look at him and you can see him smirk at your reaction. Pretty was an understatement, this guy was easily the most attractive man you’ve laid eyes upon. You clear your throat and direct your eyes back to the cocktail in your hands, swirling the liquid in the cup. 

A few minutes pass by in silence before he speaks up. “Here alone?” he asks. 

You jump a bit at his voice, not expecting him to initiate any conversation with you. Gosh, even his voice was pretty. “N-no, I mean, actually, yeah” you mumble. 

He raises his brow, but doesn’t push it. “What’s your name?” 

“Y/N, what’s yours?” you return the question. 

“That’s a pretty name, quite suitable for a pretty girl like you” he says with a flirty smile, “I’m Wonbin, nice to meet you, Y/N.” 

You feel your cheeks getting warm at his words, he thinks you’re pretty? You shake your head, he’s just flirting with you. “Nice to meet you..” 

“Are you here alone?” you throw the question back at him. 

He hums, “got dragged along by the boys, my friend’s hosting.” 

You nod, unsure what to say next. 

“So, Y/N, why are you here alone?” Wonbin asks. 

You sigh, re-calling the situation to him. It was a bit embarrassing but hey, he asked and you had someone to let out your frustrations to. 

“What an asshole,” he scoffs, “I’m sorry he did that, you deserve to be treated better.”

You shake your head, “It’s okay, I should've seen it coming. Anyways, I didn’t want to let it ruin my night but here I am. I wanted to distract myself but I guess it’s still on my mind.” 

Wonbin listens to your rant before placing a hand on your thigh. “I can be your distraction, Y/N.” he whispers.

“W-what,” you blurb out, taken aback. “What do you mean, Wonbin.” 

He smirks, “I meant what I said earlier, Y/N. So, will you let me be your distraction, pretty?” he says headily.

You stare at him, his own eyes staring back at you intently. He leans in closer and you can feel his breath against your lips. “Can I?” he whispers. 

You quickly nod, wanting to know how his lips would feel like on yours. 

With your approval, Wonbin closes the distance between your mouths. One of his hands comes to gently cup your cheek, while the other leaves feathering touches down your body. 

You sigh softly against his soft lips, of course he’s a good kisser on top of everything. God, this man was dangerous. 

You pull back for a second, softly pushing him so he rests against the couch, readjusting your position so you're straddling him. “I- is this okay?” you mumble shyly. 

He laughs softly, his hands coming to rest against your sides. “This is great actually,” he smirks before leaning in to kiss you more. 

You let your hands rest on his shoulders, leaning in closer and deepening the kiss. His tongue swipes against your lips, a silent ask, and you gladly oblige. He pushes past your lips, tongue playing with yours. 

A soft moan leaves your lips as the kiss turns more heated by the second. Wonbin groans against your mouth, you taste so good and your lips feel perfect on his, like you were made for him. You pull back for a second to catch your breath and Wonbin takes the opportunity to attack your neck. 

You play with his hair as he leaves love bites all over your neck and collarbone, god these we’re gonna be a pain to cover up, but you couldn’t care less at the moment. He pulls back for a second admiring his work with a satisfied smirk. 

“Fuck, you look even more pretty like this, covered in my marks” he whispers heatedly. 

You hum with reddened cheeks, feeling yourself getting desperate for more. You lean down, feverishly leaving kisses down his jaw, making your way to his neck and leaving markings of your own. A soft noise leaves his lips at your attention and you pull back with a gasp as you feel him getting hard against your clothed pussy. 

Amused by your reaction, he pushes you harder against the tent growing in his pants. “F-fuck, you’re so hard.” you moan out at the feeling.

“Mmm, it’s all because of you” he purrs, hands slipping under your already hiked-up dress. You shiver at the feeling of his cold hands on your bare skin. 

Wonbin begins rocking your body against him, enticing you to grind on him. “F-fuck, bbin-” you breath out, his hard on pressing on just the right spot. 

Wonbin smirks at the nickname you gave him, “feel good, hmm?” You just nod, focusing on rolling your hips against him. 

You whine when Wonbin holds you down, forcing you to stop your rhythm. “Why–” 

He repositions you so his thigh is directly under your core, pushing you down on him. “I want you to make yourself feel good,” he says in a husky voice, flexing his muscles under you, the feeling making you grip his shoulders harder.  

“C’mon, you we’re doing so good earlier, baby” he cooes, moving your hips against him. You whine, feeling shy but letting him rock you against him. Eventually, you feel yourself growing needier, finding a rhythm of your own. 

“F-fuck, Wonbin, ah-!” you moan out as he attaches his lips on your neck, sucking that sweet spot and leaving yet another mark. 

You can feel yourself getting closer, hips desperately grinding down on him and Wonbin can’t help but look at you with an amused expression. “C’mon, pretty, are you close?” 

You just hum, eyes shut and eyebrows knitted together, chasing your high. You gasp when Wonbin flexes his thigh and pushes you harder against him, helping you get there. 

You can feel it coming, legs starting to shake under his hold, but Wonbin keeps rocking you against him. “A-ah! Wait, fuck–!” you whine as you cum, letting your head fall against him as your body sputters in his hold. 

He lets you catch your breath, hands rubbing down your sides in a soothing way, “That was so hot,” he chuckles. 

You sit back up, looking at him with a smile before your face drops. Oh my god, you completely forgot that you weren’t alone in the room. Wonbin sees your expression as you look around the room, catching on. 

“Don’t worry, they left earlier, if that’s what you’re worried about.” he reassures you. 

You let out a sigh of relief, turning back to him and pressing a kiss to his lips. He catches your lips with his, sharing another heated kiss with you. 

You teasingly move on his lap, earning a groan from him. “Fuck, pretty, don’t tease,” he rasps out. You give him a sly smile, running your hand down his chest until you reach the tent in his pants. 

His breath hitches as you grab him through his pants, watching you intently, anticipating your next move. 

You get off his lap painfully slowly before dropping to your knees in between his legs. You look up at him with sultry eyes as you unzip his pants. He curses, the way you look at him making him feel things.

You can’t help but gawk at him when you finally free his aching cock. Was there anything about this man that wasn’t pretty? 

You wrap one of your hands around him, giving him a few pumps before licking a strip up his length. “F-fuck–” Wonbin hisses, throwing his head back at the sensation. 

You giggle, kissing his tip already leaking with pre-cum, earning another groan from him. Without warning you take him in your mouth, swirling your tongue around his tip. His head snaps back up, wanting to watch you suck him off. He grabs your hair in one hand so he can get a better view. 

And, fuck, isn’t that a view to look at, Wonbin thinks to himself. Your small mouth wrapped around him with your saliva dripping down his cock turning him on even more. 

Maintaining eye contact with him, you start taking him deeper in your mouth, bobbing your head up and down and hollowing your cheeks. His hips involuntarily buck against your mouth at the feeling, causing you to gag on his cock. 

“S-shit, sorry pretty, you’re making me feel so good,” he says through ragged breaths. 

You moan around him at the praise, the vibrations making him twitch in your mouth. “Fuck, I want to fuck this pretty little mouth, will you let me?” he asks desperately. 

You hum in response and that’s all it takes before he starts rutting in your mouth, tears prick your eyes as you try not to gag.

You hold onto his thighs for stability as he continues abusing your mouth, his tip hitting the back of your throat which will surely leave a bruise, but all you could care about right now is making him feel good. 

He groans, hips starting to stutter, “y-you’re taking me so well, pretty” 

You moan, hollowing your cheeks for him, making him shutter. 

You can feel him start to twitch in your mouth, indicating that he is close. “F-fuck, where do you want me?” He pulls out quickly, fisting his cock in his hand. You open your mouth for him, a silent answer. 

After a few more pumps, he shoots ropes of white into your mouth. Without breaking eye contact, you swallow every last drop of his load. 

“Fuck,” he stares down at you, patting your head while breathing heavily. “You did so good, pretty” he says, pulling you back up to kiss you hungrily. You moan into the kiss, and Wonbin smirks against your mouth. 

You pull back, “Wonbin.. I want you,” you murmur needily. 

“Yeah?” he hums, amused, before gently pushing you down on the couch, climbing over you. 

Wonbin lifts your dress to have easier access to your entrance. And he can’t help but chuckle at your drenched panties, tossing them to the side. 

He drops a kiss to your lips before aligning himself with your entrance. “I’m going to put it in, okay?” he says before entering you.

You moan at the feeling, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him closer to you. “S-shit, you’re so tight..” he groans.

“I’m gonna move now,” he warns you before slamming his hips into you, your wet cunt taking his dick perfectly. 

You pull him down, attacking his lips with yours. He’s making you feel so good, his cock hitting all the right places. Your hands bury themselves in his long hair, tugging here and there.

Wonbin groans, “look at you taking me so well, pretty. It’s like you were made to be mine,” he purrs. 

You moan, arching your back into him when he hits your sweet spot. “R-right there, bbin, ah-! Fuck!” 

Wonbin continues hitting that spot, hips snapping against yours, increasing his speed when he feels you clench around him. He’s not gonna last long if you keep sucking him in like this. 

Luckily with a final snap of his hips, you reach your new high, legs trembling as ecstasy takes over your senses. Wonbin quickly pulls out, fisting his cock a few times and spilling his load all over your lower stomach. 

You look up at him with a lazy smile, “that was amazing, bbin” 

He chuckles before getting up, fixing his pants and grabbing tissues from the table, cleaning you up. You thank him before getting up and fixing your dress. 

Wonbin grabs your hand, clearing his throat, “uhh, i don’t know if it’s a right time to ask but, would you let me take you out, tomorrow?” he asks sheepishly.

You giggle, “Sure, I’d love that.” 

Usually the date would come before the hook up, but you wouldn’t mind doing things upside down with Wonbin.

“Great,” he smiles, “now, let me take you home.” he offers and you smile. 

Wonbin was, without doubt, the best distraction you could’ve gotten. 

You’re gonna end whatever is going on with Seunghan tomorrow morning, for now, you're gonna enjoy the rest of your night.

[withacapitalp]

(Okay I saw a post about a premise similar to this but I cannot find it for the life of me. Anyway I loved it so much that I had to write a version of it myself. A post s2 AU!) Now with Part Two

Steve was never exactly the most perceptive person in the world. 

He missed all of the signals that Nancy had given him, every sign that had pointed to their failing relationship. He hadn’t seen the moments that proved she was right about everything going on in their town either. Steve overlooked important details in his college applications, and took shots in basketball that almost always missed. He even sometimes walked right into walls these days, because his spacial awareness had kinda been shot since Billy smashed a plate over his head fifteen days ago. 

A lot of that could be forgiven, but, this…

Well this was a little bit obtuse, even for him. 

“You know you’re sitting at our table, right, King Steve?” 

Steve looked up from his Tuna Surprise, resisting the urge to flinch at both the blinding light from the windows in the cafeteria and the nickname he hated so much. Eddie Munson stared back, carrying a lunch tray in one hand and his signature metal lunch box in the other. 

“Your humble court is awaiting you on the haves side of this blessed cookery. This side is where the dweebs and the nerds parlay. A single place we get a reprieve from the endless bombardment of the average” Munson continued, flinging his arms to and fro, gesturing to the group of teens behind him who were staring at Steve like he was dirt under the bottom of their shoes. 

He hadn’t understood the majority of what Eddie had just said to him, but those looks were enough to give Steve the gist. He was not welcome here. 

“Sorry,” He muttered, grabbing his tray and sliding it to the other end of the table. He took a deep breath the second he was alone again, letting the tension melt away from his body as he collapsed back in his seat. 

Even though he was no longer welcome to sit at his old table, Steve probably could have gone and eaten in the library with Nancy and Jonathan. They had awkwardly invited him to join them a few times since everything had gone down, but he always said no. 

It was better this way. Better to be alone. Better to not have to watch the two of them try and hide how much happier they were now that they could be together. They deserved that happiness, Nancy deserved that happiness, and Steve refused to be the one to make her try and stifle any of that. 

He had hurt her enough already. 

“What happened to your face?”

Once again Eddie dragged Steve out of his thoughts. He was standing over Steve’s head, nearly hovering on top of him, watching Steve like he was trying to work him out. Like Steve was a particularly complex puzzle that he could solve just with his eyes. 

Nancy had always looked at him that way. Steve had hated it when it was her, and he hated it even more coming from Munson now. 

“Got into a fight,” Steve grunted, stabbing at his shitty cafeteria food and hoping that his abrasiveness would be enough to get Munson to leave him alone.

He wasn’t exactly sure what he could say now that they had all signed another round of NDAs, but he was pretty sure even talking about this was toeing the line. It was safer all around to get Eddie to go away as quickly as possible. 

It wouldn’t be all that hard. Usually all it took were a few well placed bitchy comments to get people to see the picture and give up on him. The only group of people who hadn’t been perturbed by Steve’s spikiness was the kids. They had shown up at his house pretty much daily since the gate had closed, and had even taken to begging on him for rides to and from school. 

Dustin in particular seemed determined to stay latched onto him like a barnacle, but Steve found that he didn’t really mind their clinginess.

 It was nice to be needed, even if it was only a group of pre-teen smartasses. 

“With who?” Eddie asked, leaning his hip on the table next to Steve and crossing his arms over his chest, “Cause Billy Hargrove is telling everyone he can that he beat your ass for messing with his sister,”

“I would never do something like that,” Steve shot back instantly, feeling the fading bruises on his face twinge as his jaw clenched in fury. He couldn’t help the words spilling out of his mouth, unable to stop them, “Billy’s a racist jackass who tried to put his hands on one of my fucking kids,”

Shit. 

“There is…so many confusing parts of that sentence,” Eddie stated, blinking in shock.

“Whatever,” Steve murmured, biting his cheek to stop himself from saying anything more and hunching his shoulders up around his ears. They weren’t exactly his kids, per say, but Steve was invested in keeping them safe now. The idea of doing anything to hurt any of them was painful, and the thought of Billy spreading that kind of rumor made bile rise up in his throat. 

Fuck Billy. Fuck this. Fuck his life honestly. 

“Look, Munson, I’m really not in the mood right now,” Steve sighed, hating how weary he sounded. It would have been better to fight his way out of this. Steve was crappy at fighting though, and there wasn’t much spirit left in him. Not after two weeks of perpetual stress and tension. 

“Harrington-”

“I moved down, I’m not in your way, isn’t that good enough?” Steve bit out, halfway to just grabbing his tray and throwing it in the trash. He was barely eating anyway, might as well go to the gym to shoot some hoops instead of sitting here being interrogated by drug dealing  extraordinaire, Eddie goddamn Munson.

Couldn’t he just let Steve eat in peace? Everything else was already so goddamn difficult these days. Could Steve at least manage to eat a mediocre meal without the entire world demanding something from him? 

By the grace of whatever god was potentially out there, Eddie took the hint, pushing off of his resting place and stalking back over to his group of weirdos on the other side. Steve let his eyes slip shut and dragged in a heavy breath, utterly exhausted. 

He was contemplating skipping the rest of the day and going home to sleep when a blue plastic tray identical to the one in front of him bumped his right hand

“What are you doing?” Steve wondered aloud, raising his eyebrows and fixing Eddie with a confused look as he sat down right next to Steve and began to dig into his meal. 

“Eating lunch alone sucks?” Eddie offered, shoveling Tuna Surprise into his mouth and shuddering, pushing the rest of the disgusting concoction to the far side of his tray, “Plus I’m hoping that if I get in your good graces you’ll give me your pudding cup,”

Steve stared at him for a few more moments, waiting for whatever prank was about to be pulled. But Eddie didn’t budge, continuing to eat around his main dish with strange efficiency and ignoring Steve’s gaze. 

“Go nuts,” He finally said, offering the plastic container over to Eddie who grabbed it and gave Steve a big smile

“Mazel Tov, Eddie said, hoisting the pudding aloft and tearing into it, “So, you have children?”

“I- I babysit,” Steve stammered out, completely perplexed by the strange set of circumstances that was playing out in front of him. Eddie paused with his spoon midair in front of him. 

“You babysit,” He repeated, turning his head towards Steve. The younger teen nodded and Eddie hummed. He put his pudding down and licked his spoon clean. When he was done, he hefted it aloft, bringing it down on the back of his right hand with a smack that echoed all around the cafeteria. 

“Ouch!” Eddie yelped, flapping his hand around in the air to try and get rid of the sting. Steve looked frantically to and fro as the rest of the room stared at them, whispering behind their hands. 

“Why would you-” 

“Had to make sure I wasn’t dreaming,” Eddie explained, interrupting Steve’s furious whisper with a breathless little laugh, “Because I just heard the words ‘I babysit’ come out of King Steve’s mouth,”

“Would you cut it out with the King stuff?” Steve snapped, beginning to lose his appetite, “It’s been a while since I was King of anything, and it was a stupid fucking idea to begin with,” 

There was a beat of awkward silence as Eddie gave him another one of those soul searching looks. 

“What are you doing Thursday afternoon?” He finally asked when he found whatever he was looking to find. Steve startled, dropping his fork. 

What kind of question was that? 

Was Munson asking him on some sort of date?!

“I’m…benched from basketball ‘cause of my concussion. So nothing, I guess,” Steve said cautiously, carefully picking his words and trying to avoid the spike of hurt that shot along his chest as he said them. 

It wasn’t much, but basketball was one of the only things Steve really thought he was genuinely good at. Not having it was kind of pure torture. 

Almost as bad as not having Nancy in his life anymore. 

“In that case, come to Hellfire,” Eddie offered, glancing at the clock on the wall and grabbing both of their trays. Steve scrambled to grab his backpack, hefting it onto one shoulder and jogging to keep up with Eddie. 

“What?”

“Hellfire?” Eddie repeated, dumping their trash into the bin and stacking the trays next to it, “It’s the club I run,”

“What is it?” Steve asked, curious but unwilling to commit just yet. There was still a part of him that was kind of convinced all of this was some elaborate ruse to fuck with him. 

But before Eddie could say anything the bell chimed all around them. The rest of the student population moved as one, and the sound in the lunchroom immediately went from dull roar to cacophonous mess. Steve’s left ear started to ring again, and he winced, shying away from the sudden noise. 

“You’ll have to come and see,” Eddie said, waggling his eyebrows, completely ignorant to Steve’s pain. He turned on his heel, raising a hand in a wave behind him as he loped towards the rest of his friend group.

“Thursday after school! In the drama room, don’t be late!”

[dokries]

moonrise

pairing: hong jisoo (joshua) x gender neutral reader

genre: fluff/comfort, established relationship

word count: 564

warnings: the moon is talked about like it’s a sentient being cause i’m sentimental, a forehead kiss, can be read as existential in a way but it doesn’t have to be, Big Promises, there is so much implied in their words that even i can’t figure it out

author note: happy birthday to me :) (this is queued!) to me these still seem like midnight ramblings from a month ago but i hope you enjoy reading nonetheless! this goes hand in hand with sunset but they’re not directly connected, just written with the same things in mind and the same late times

masterlist

he stares at you, unsure of what your pensive look means as he says your name, his voice a gentle reminder of him being by your side. 

“you alright?” joshua asks, concern etched into the way his tone shifts to a whisper at the end, blending into the air around you, the window open in his room to let the two of you see the sky clearly.

you turn towards him, and he’s entranced by the way the moonlight shifts on your skin, creating shadows and plateaus on your face he never noticed before.

“the moon is so beautiful,” you say instead, his previous question left to swirl into the breeze that was now picking up.

joshua smiles, shaking his head, and you know it’s him silently agreeing with you.

“it knows so much more than we could ever seek to understand, doesn’t it?” you ask, and his eyebrows furrow at the thought before he nods.

“it’s seen all the emotions that exist in our languages and those left unsaid—rage, resentment, regret…” joshua holds your hand in his as he continues quietly. “love, compassion, and comfort. it knows all these personally, all while never experiencing them itself.”

you hum in agreement, and the two of you go back to staring up at the subject of your musing. 

“i wonder if it ever judges us—if we’re hated for our foolishness and mistakes that it’s seen us repeat for millennia.” 

you let the silent question hang in the air. am i too foolish to be with you?

joshua turns to you once more, squeezing your hand in response before speaking. “eventually, i think it may be proud to see our achievements, the way we continue to love despite our circumstances.” 

no, you never could be.

his shoulder brushes against yours and you sigh, warmth seeping into your arms at first before slowly reaching your neck and your head, and finally manifesting in your temple once he places his lips on your forehead. 

joshua pulls away too quickly, and the sun does not take over the moon as you thought it would while he was pressed against you. 

he smiles softly, bringing his arms around to wrap you in his grasp. maybe the sun has come out, the light on your eyelids too bright to be false as you close them.

you both sigh in unison as he places a hand over the back of your head, shielding the two of you from the breeze. he lets go after a moment to close the window, even though he doesn’t want to move from your side, and leaves flutter in with the scent of jasmine as he sits down beside you once more. 

joshua tries for a wide grin and when you chuckle softly, he knows that it’s alright to hold your hands and whisper as he looks into your eyes. “my love for you will stay with the moon for the next lives we live, even if they are apart.”

you smile softly, your touch holding a thousand promises left unspoken. “our lives will not be without each other, and the moon will stay with us for the moments we are unable to be together.”

joshua’s eyes slide back to the calm surroundings outside the comfort of your company and his shoulders slump down against you, desperately hoping that the moon will keep your foolish wish alive. 

[xveenusx]

Love

Paring(s): rafe cameron x fem!reader

Summary: in which two people come to terms with how dangerous their love is, but it's impossible to leave.

Author's note: Rafe on his knees is sending me. This is part two to Hate and is complete angst because I like to hurt my own feelings. ALSO, the GIFS depict exactly what's going to happen in this peice to help you visualize it better :)

Rating: ANGSTY, but kind of a good ending but not really bc they are horrible for each other

Warnings: v toxic relationship

Part 1: Hate

━━ ★ Masterlist

_____________________

Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip.

My head hung against the cool tile in the shower, water pounding against my body as I fought against the urge to succumb to my pain.

You won't ever be over me

I squeezed my eyes shut.

Yet, it didn't work. I couldn't block out his words as they pistoled into my mind again and again. Slapping my hand against the tile, I groaned out loud and rubbed my eyes.

Memories of my mistake continue to stampede over every coherent thought I could form. It was embarrassing how easily I gave into him, but when he touched me, all sense went out the window.

He was the chink in my armor, because when he loved me, I mean really loved me, the sun shined brighter and the world went into focus. He could ask me anything and I would have told him in a heart beat. There was just this sense of security that finally gave me the ability to be myself. I felt like I was safe and solid ground for the first time in my life.

But as time went on, there were small slip ups that caught my attention. The hushed meetings with his father, his eagerness to be around my friends, the constant Q and A about gold.

I pushed passed the alarm bells ringing in my head because I didn’t want it to end. I caught him in lie after lie which always ended in a screaming match. I’d storm away but it always ended in us finding our way back to each other. Always.

Maybe it’s wrong to say this, but I was relieved that he needed me just as bad as I needed him. He couldn’t seem to leave me alone either.

The longer we were together, I couldn’t help but begin to question why he was really with me. The idea of there being an ulterior motive for loving me paralyzed me with fear.

Because, if that was true, I didn't think I'd survive it.

So like a junkie, in every sense of the word, I gave into the drug that was Rafe Cameron and gave him anything he wanted. I became an entirely different person that I didn't recognize.

I was so desperate to be loved by him that it almost killed me.

A familiar burning behind my eyes made me smile in irony. Tears usually accompanied anything that involved Rafe.

I slowly slid down the shower wall, bringing my knees to my chest, and set my chin on top. Closing my eyes, I attempted to focus on the pounding of the water but despite the noise, it couldn’t overpower the noise in my head.

Detoxing was nearly impossible. I'd take another dose, and then another, but when the high eventually wore of—because it always did—this is what was left:

A shell of me withered down in self loathing.

I hate you.

No, you don't.

The water eventually turned cold but I refused to move from my spot on the floor. I just couldn't face him, not yet.

It hurt to fucking look at him.

A fist pounded on the bathroom door but I chose to ignore it. I shivered slightly at the ice cold water but preferred this biting pain over what awaited me on the other side of that door.

"Open the door."

I turned my head away from the door and instead rested my cheek on the top of my knee and stared at the wall.

"I'm not fucking kidding. Open the door, why is this shit locked anyway?"

I rolled my eyes. The dramatics were unmatched.

"Go away." I croaked out, hoping for once in his god damn life that he listened. "I swear to god."

"I'm shaking in my boots, babe."

Jesus Christ.

"Rafe-"

"I can hear you crying from out here."

That shut me up. I thought I was being discreet. "I'm fine. Please go away."

He pounded on the door again. "Do you really think a locked door is gonna stop me?."

My eyes closed briefly at his words. The organ in my chest that refused to listen to reason began to beat a little harder.

"Rafe, please. I need a minute." My voice cracked at the end of my plea.

It was quiet for a few moments before I heard his feet shuffle away. I relaxed in relief at his departure and lifted my head directly under the water, hoping it will clear my mind.

"Fuck this." Was all I heard before a sharp crack echoed and the door busted open.

My gaze found his and it took all my strength to not shrink under his gaze. I'm sure I was a sight for sore eyes, curled up on the floor of the shower shivering.

Rafe let out a distressed noise before moving towards me but I scooted back, throwing my palm up. “Stop.”

He stopped in his tracks with narrowed eyes. “You have about five seconds.”

“Boundaries. We need boundaries.”

“Boundaries?” He repeated slowly, making it seem like the term was foreign to him. “What the fuck for?”

“Because I need a moment. Let me cry in peace.”

Rafe nodded his head and relief let me drop my shoulders.

“Well, I’m not leaving you alone when you cry, there, that’s my boundary.”

I open my mouth and close it. He couldn’t be serious?

He shut off the water while letting out a string of curses as he took in my shivering figure. Yanking a towel off the rack, I'm suddenly enveloped in warmth as he wrapped the towel around my body and picked me up.

His scent lured me in like an old friend. Exhaustion weighed on me heavily so I gave in yet again.

I shoved my face into his neck enjoying the warmth his body provided and the shivering slowly subsided. Rafe said nothing as he set me on the edge of the bed and softly began to dry me.

He was gentle despite the severe expression he wore.

“We should probably talk.” He uttered, running the towel along my legs.

I shook my head, the desire to sleep was overwhelming.

Rafe paused. “I can already feel you pulling back from me.”

He knew me all too well.

Arguing him was pointless. We’d both end up with our voices gone and nothing solved.

“I can’t do this with you right now. I just want this day to be over.” I spoke quietly, fiddling with my fingers.

Rafe doesn’t answer me, instead he grabs some satin set and slowly started to dress me. Lifting my arms, he pulled the thin tank over my head before kneeling down and doing the same with the bottoms.

It was moments like this that almost made me cave. Rafe Cameron, of figure eight, heir to a real estate empire, was down on his knees for a Pogue.

Pressing a gentle kiss to my inner knee, he stood up, towering over me with his hand cupping my face. His face was the picture of relaxed despite our current kidnapping, but I knew it was solely because we were together.

“This can’t happen again.” The words were out of my mouth in seconds.

He just smiled, humming softly to himself as he continued to stare.

So I tried again. “You can sleep on the floor.”

That made the smile drop fast.

“You want me to sleep on the floor?”

“Yes.”

“Like the actual floor?” Rafe asked slowly, his gaze moving down to the hard wooden floor in distaste.

“The fucking floor, Rafe.”

His eyes narrowed at my tone, “Why?”

“Because I said so.” Because, my panties will be off in seconds.

“Try again. I’ll argue with you all night until you tell me why.”

“Does this not hurt you as much as it hurts me? Looking at you fucking kills me.”

“I’m going to marry you. It might not be today, it might not be tomorrow. But I will marry you," He said the words so nonchalantly, you would think he was discussing the weather, "So no, it doesn’t hurt me to look at you, to be around you, because I know this is never going to end. I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you."

I waited, for what seemed like forever, to hear him say these words. Yet, now that he did, I simply didn't believe it. Too much has happened. His words no longer held the weight that they used to and for a brief moment I felt a twisted sense of relief because that meant I was one step closer to being free of the shackles that chained me to him.

My brows furrowed as I tried to think of something to say, but nothing came out.

I shook my head and crawled towards the front of the bed, tugging the sheets down and burrowing myself into a cocoon. "Go to sleep, Rafe."

He muttered something under his breath as he walked over to the makeshift bed on the floor. I heared some shuffling before a heavy sigh echoed in our room and I knew he finally settled.

It was for the best. My sanity needed to remain intact and this was the only way. That didn't stop me from missing the warm embrace of his body that always lulled me to sleep.

Rolling onto my side, I peaked over the side of the bed and saw his head already turned in my direction. A faint smirk tugged at the coner of his lips and his eyes sparkled with amusement.

"You still want me on the floor?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes." No.

Rafe let out a chuckle before silence enveloped us and the only thing I could hear was the sound of our steady breathing. All trace of humor left his face and we stared at each other, his eyes never leaving mine. It almost appeared like he was commiting my face to memory.

"You're safe. You can go to sleep," Rafe murmured, "I won't let anything happen to you."

A familar rush of affection slammed into my chest and I forced myself to break eye contact first. I couldn't let him see the expression that adorned my face. He was embedded deeply into my soul.

"I-" I love you.

Rafe cut me off, "I know."

Curled on my side with the sheets pulled up to my neck, I closed my eyes and whispered painfully, "I wish I didn't."

I could feel his gaze burning holes into my back, but I knew better than to turn around. Sleep, I told myself, everything will be better tomorrow.

Minutes passed and I knew he wasn't going to answer.

"I know that too." Was all I heard before I embraced the darkness with open arms.

_______________

Disoriented.

That's how I woke up. My eyes felt heavy and my head drummed against my skull. This pain comparable to only being severely hungover. Yet, I barley had anything at all. It was simply the Rafe effect, also known as extreme emotional distress.

I rubbed the sleepiness from eyes while my mind betrayed me with replays of the last 24 hours. Peering over the edge of the bed, Rafe is sprawled out awkwardly on the ground sleeping. His bare chest slowly rising up and down, his necklace gleaming from the morning light that seeped into the room.

It hurt to look at him, but when I looked away, it hurt even more. The fear of forgetting what he looked like or how he sounded when he laughed consumed me. What if everything faded?

Love and hate were more similar than one would think.

As if sensing I was was awake, Rafe shifted onto his side and opened his eyes slowly. I watched as his eyes took in our surroundings before last 24 hours finally hit him.

Instantly, his eyes find mine and his body relaxes, a smug smile tugging at his lips.

He got up from his spot on the floor and made his way over to me. Sleepiness still present in his eyes, but his face was content. The bed dips and a warm hand pushed my hair out of my eyes before tracing my nose then the outline of my lips.

"Good morning." The low raspy timber of his voice had me clenching my thighs together.

I allowed myself these few seconds to bask under the glow of his attention. Swallowing down the lump in my throat at what I'm about to do, I steel the storm of emotions that brew inside me.

Moving my face out of his grasp, I shifted my body into a sitting positon, placing a slight distance between us. "I meant what I said last night. This will not happen again."

The words burned coming out my mouth.

"Can we just skip this part?"

I shot him a blank look. "What part?"

He heaves out a sigh, his large hand rubbing against his buzzed head. "Aren't you tired?"

Did he hit his head? Confused filled me as I glanced at the unmade bed. "Tired? I just slept-"

Rafe barked out a bitter laugh. "Of running. Aren't you tired of running?"

My fingers gripped my satin top in an attempt to control my anger. He would choose this exact moment to bait me. Maybe six months ago I would have taken the bait, but I was drained.

He always chose the hard way.

"Really? You want to have this conversation now?" Keep calm. Breathe.

Rafe searched my face with a serious expression, then his lips tipped. "I don't know if you remember, but we have all the time in the world."

I rolled my eyes. Despite my very weak attemps at pushing him away, Rafe never seemed discouraged. He only appeared mildly annoyed at my desperate attempts to kick him out of my life.

"You're about 6 months late on your right to have this conversation. Now, get off of my bed." I tried to shove him off. Nothing.

Blue eyes narrowed. Good, I hope he was mad. He'll finally understand what it was like to be me the past couple months.

"If you're trying to piss me off, it's working. So stop." Was all he said, with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Stop doing what, Rafe? There is nothing left to talk about."

"Stop acting like you don't care."

Rafe's determined attitude was exhausting.

And somehow, despite everything, I still felt myself drawn to him, even after how poorly he's treated me.

"Acting like I don't care is all I have left." My stomach tightened at my honesty.

His cold blue eyes grew distant, clearly not liking my truth.

"You have me."

The conviction in his voice would make anyone believe him, but I wasn't going to fall for his pretty words again, no matter how badly I wished they were true.

"No, I don't. I never did so this entire conversation is pointless." I stated a matter-of-factly. "Do yourself a favor and walk away."

Clicking his tongue, Rafe shook his head at me. "There you go again, telling me what I can and cannot do."

I had to hurt him to just get the distance I needed. He'd leave me alone if I hurt him.

"What are you gonna do? Tell your dad on me?" The minute the words flew out of my mouth, I regretted them.

Artic eyes narrowed into slits and his entire demeanor shifted, his shoulders tense and face hard. "Don't talk about him."

"Got daddy issues, do you?" My mouth would not stop.

I could see that I was successfully hitting my target, but it only made my heart ache. It needed to be done though.

Rafe's expression shut off, a familiar cold look settling in his eyes. "Tread fucking lightly."

My heart thudded dangerously as I debated my next words. "I might not hate you today or tomorrow, but I will hate you. Because, hating you is better than loving you."

The words tasted like vinegar coming out of my mouth, but they had their desired effect.

Agony briefly flickers on his face, but he schooled his expression. His eyes seemed to bore through me, our stare off so intense, that I had to look away.

If I believed he could change, even if there was a slight chance, then I would have fought for us. But, I knew him like the back of my hand and Rafe was who he was—unapologetically. I didn't have any fight left.

"I know what you're doing." His voice trembled, dark and on the verge of breaking.

I closed my eyes in defeat. Of course he did. I couldn't even hurt him without him seeing straight through me.

"You want to make me the bad guy? Fine. I'm the bad guy, bad Rafe Cameron. But don't pretend for one second that I'm not under your skin just as bad."

"You are, you are and it's exhausting," I grimaced. "Does knowing that make you feel better?"

"Yes, it does because I'm not the only one feeling like this."

My throat clogged. "How much longer can we keep doing this?"

"As long as it takes for you to give in." Rafe stroked a strand of hair behind my ear, the clouds of his eyes gleaming with twisted adortion.

Frustration bubbled up the surface. He was relentless in his pursuit, not caring if he hurt me in the process. As long as I was his, nothing else matterd, even my pain.

"This isn't a game. I am not a game." I stated harshly, shoving his hand away. "I'm a person--a person who has feelings."

His expression reamined unreadable. "A person with feelings for me."

I was losing. Badly. Talking to Rafe was like talking to a brick wall.

"I've had to put myself together three times, Rafe. Three times!" I screamed, my voice cracking in despair. "Each time harder than the last."

"I finally glued myself together again and you're already pulling away the pieces. For how long am I yours this time? A week?" I pushed. "A month?"

"You've moved on before so do it again. Let me do the same." I cleared my throat to push back tears.

"You think I haven't tried?" He asked incrediously, throwing his hands up in the air in utter disbelief.

Rafe stalked over to me, his eyes brewing with anger as he pointed to the veins in his arms. "You're in so deep, I can't get you out of my system."

I knew the feeling all too well. I am not going to cry.

"'You're right here. Right fucking here and you won't go away." He reached for my hand and placed it directly on his heart which pounded wildy under my touch.

My resolve was breaking and my previous anger easing away like a silent wave. He didn't have any peace either.

The heavy weight on my chest had me leaning forward, resting my forehead against his pec, my hand still in his grasp, pressed tightly against his heart.

"Loving you almost ruined my life." Rafe was a cliff. One that I threw myself over again and again, expecting to fly only to be met with cold hard concrete.

"Again with the meladrama?" Spell broken once more. Another peice being peeled away from me.

A joke, this was all a joke to him.

"You're not listening to me. You never listen to me." I shouted directly into his face, pointing to myself, needing him to finally fucking see me.

Tears finally fell from my eyes as I stared at him with pathetic hoplessness.

"How is what I did any worse than what you did?" The world stopped spinning as his words hit my chest. Something inside me broke.

I shook my head in utter diesbelief at his words. I pushed to my feet, my hands collided with his chest as I shoved him with all my strength.

I headed straight towards the bedroom door, slamming my fists against the door in an attempt to get the guards attention. I was slowly suffocating in this room. He always managed to do this to me.

I should've known better. I mean really known better. Rafe was a mindfuck.

"Run away one more time and I swear to god-" Rafe advaced toward me, his hands reaching out for me.

No, he needed to keep his hands to himself.

"Don't talk to me." I spat, holding my hand up. Facing the door once again, I pound several more times with no response before accepting defeat.

Slumping against the door with my forehead resting against the cool wood, I pleaded, "I can't be in here any more. I just can't."

Once again, no answer.

"We're talking about this. You don't get to avoid this conversation anymore."

"Want to try that again-stop!" Rafe bent down and tossed my body over his shoulder. Anger burned through my veins as I struggled against his grip, but it did nothing to deeter him as he stalked us over to the bed.

Dropping my body roughly on the bed, he towered over me and met my gaze, warning clear in his eyes.

Swallowing my pride, I dug my nails into the soft flesh of my palms. "You can't compare our actions. They aren't even on the same playing field, Rafe,"

"I can and I am comparing them, because believe it or not baby, it's the same damn thing."

Rafe was standing directly in front of me, his large thighs caging my dainty figure in. My chest heaved up and down in anger.

"Is that what you tell yourself so you don't have to deal with the fact that you're a shitty person? I'm not listening to this." My gaze was frantic as I tried to figure out an escape plan.

"I've clearly been too nice. You don't have a fucking choice. "

"Rafe, stop it."

"No, you stop it. Why are you acting like you expected me to be a nice guy? I'm not and never will be. So, you're going to sit here and listen to what I have to say." He tone harsh and unnegotiable, grasping my chin in between his fingers.

I glared, meeting his harshness with mine. Fingers threaded into my hair as he forced my head back to stare at him.

"You knew exactly who I was when you met me. You saw the good, bad, and the ugly and still chose to fucking love me," He snarled, his hand slammed against his chest, "to love me."

Oh god. Was he right? He was.

"Then you leave me for being who you fell in love with?" Rafe's body was shaking as he jerked my head back towards his face when I tried to look away. "Knowing who I am and loving me anyway, just for you to walk away. Am I that easy to walk away from? "

His gaze was expectant but he already knew the answer. No, he wasn't easy to walk away from. It almost killed me each and every time.

"No." I answered, my voice so low it came out as a whisper.

"How is that any more cruel than what I did to you?" I couldn't answer becuase he was right. My heart bled at this point as I tried to scramble some coherent thought. I wanted to say something, anything to counter his statements but fell short.

A sob caught the back of my throat.

"So get the fuck off your high horse. I beat up Pope on figure 8 and guess who kept my bed warm after that?" He mused, his fingers brushing against my knees forcing them open more. "I shot and killed Sheriff Peterkin and you consoled me."

I gulped for air but it seemed like nothing was reaching my lungs. He was right. We were so inextricably linked that his darkness became my own. It was so easy for me to excuse all of his horrible actions simply because I love him.

The laugh he let out sent shivers down my spine. "Fuck, I almost drowned Sarah and you still opened your legs for me. Still loved me, didn't you?"

Horror filled every cell in body. I curled my arms into myself as pain slashed through my heart while my hands and arms shook.

"So which one of us is really fucked up?" Me. Him. Both.

Rafe pulled his lip into his mouth as he regarded me with dark eyes. Leaning over me, he brought his mouth to my ear, the ghost of his breath causing shivers to wrack down my spine. "The answer is between your legs."

I stopped breathing. Wetness seeped onto the silk bottoms leaving an obvious stain on my pants. I tried to close my legs, but Rafe let out a little tisk.

I thought I had a chance to save myself before I got stuck in the trecherous storm that was Rafe Cameron. I was doomed the moment I met him.

He smiled at me almost as though he knew I reached the same conclusion as he did.

Rafe lowered to his knees, resting directly in between mine, with his hands raised up. I stare down at him with broken eyes, my handsome monster kneeling on the ground for only me.

When he saw I made no point to move, his large calloused hand covered my shaking ones while the other softly grazed the damn spot in between my legs causing me to visibly tremble.

"Do you get it now? There is no after for us. There is and always will be an us." The words were spoken softly, but firm. Though his eyes weren't on me, and in stead were in between my lefs. His hold on my hands being the only thing anchoring me.

I did. I hated that I loved him. I hated how he'd never leave. I especially hated how I couldn't leave. I hated my body's gross reaction to him and his filthy words.

"I love you."

My head jerked up, eyes wide with surprise at his confession.

"I do. That's why I wear the necklace and the cufflinks." He answered my question. He finally answered my question.

Before I could respond, a soldier bursted into the room with narrowed eyes. He took in the scene before him before relaxing but my body was snapped with tension.

Rafe looked down at our hands before standing up slowly and letting go. "Trust me."

He was asking in the only way he knew how, by demanding. He'd broken so many promises before that the trust between us was in shards. I found myself nodding anyways.

I'd already been broken before, what was once more?

In seconds, Rafe lunged toward the solider with his hands fisting along the shoulders of the man's bulletproof vest. Slamming his body hard to the ground, Rafe climbed on top before lifting the man's body and slamming it against the floor again and again.

He dragged his fist back before slashing it with quick and brute force against the soldier's face. Blood splattered against the white tiled floors as the man groaned in pain.

Rafe didn't stop. His knuckles becoming a marred mess due to them being split open. He didn't even wince.

"Get the gun." A loud ringing noise echoed in my ears as I stared at the unconcious man on the floor who's face was unrecognizable.

"Baby, get the gun." The term of endearment pulled my out of my head. Rafe's electric eyes stared at me with urgency and darted to the side.

I moved my head in the direction of his stare and see a black gun several feet away. My brain shut off and body felt numb as I picked it up with trembling hands.

My steps were timid and hestitant as I walked back over to him. He held out his hand, the rings shining in the light. "Bring it here."

For a second, a brief second, the thought of shooting him crossed my mind. I could be free of him. I could do it.

No, I couldn't. I loved him. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

I rested the heavy pistol in his hand and watched as he dug through the man's pocket and grabbed a phone. "We're getting out of here. I have my boat parked somewhere here on the island. We get to it and we can go wherever you want. Just me and you."

Rafe stood and stepped towards me, determination in his eyes, with his hand held out for me to grab.

I took a sharp intake of breath. My blood rushed loudly in my ears as I decided what I was about to do. My friends, my life, were they worth losing for him?

His necklace sparkling against the sun and those cuflinks shining against his shirt caught my attention.

Our souls were wired together, infused. I was a monster. Just like him.

Loving Rafe was a death sentence. Little did I know—I was already dead.

I reached for his hand.

_________________

Psycho toxic rafe is the man of my dreams but also my nightmares :) They are both crazy though clearly and need help.

Let me know what you think! Next up is Conrad fucking Fisher and I assure you, your heart will be broken.

Tag list: @narcissuspetal @valeriedelevingne @harrys-humble-housewife @mrs-dasilvasantoss @yoonki-bored @maybankslover @blazebreaker @thepopcultureaddict @cartiiwannagotoplutoo @imawhoreforu @jj-pls-give-me-a-chance @summer-may

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I start giving some very *very* Christian family members religious pamphlets from non-Christian religions as gifts?

To be clear, I am writing this while firmly believing I'm NTA but I am angry and don't trust my own judgment too much right now.

Background and Players: My Son (19) was adopted out as a baby by his incubator behind (my husband, 40) his father's back. He was abandoned at 4 by his adopted family because of behavioral issues related to what his incubator was putting into her body while she was pregnant with him, and went into foster care with people I will call Amom and Adad. Adad is a pastor in his 90s and Amom is a pastor's wife in her 80s. When Son was 13 and I had been with Husband for 5ish years, we had been told (by someone from his incubator's family but we didn't know that at the time) he was non-verbal and "mentally an infant" and that trying to pull him out of the routine he had would just be incredibly harmful to him, so we had given up hope of finding him and having a relationship with him. We got a phone call one day, a worker who was looking for a medical history for Son. Husband spent close to 3 hours on the phone with her, answering questions and asking anything he could squeeze in. Turns out, we had been lied to about his mental health just... completely. He's impossible to shut up and he graduated high school last year despite, you know, *gestures vaguely at everything* and I am incredibly proud of him. Half an hour after that call ended, she called back and told us Son might be interested in meeting us, was it okay for her to pass on our contact info. A month later, Son, Amom, Adad, Husband and I were sitting in a restaurant together and a month after that we went to their place for a week to spend Christmas with them. This is when they informed us that they had finalized his legal adoption a couple of weeks earlier. 2 years after that, my QPP moved in with us, and another year later 16 year old Son asked if he could move in with us. He still does.

The Issue: Son wants a continuing relationship with Amom and Adad, but due to the previously mentioned substances used by his incubator, he has memory and time management issues so I have to regularly remind him to contact them. I have no problem doing this, but the contact we have had with them over the last few years has soured me on their company. I've got no problem reminding Son to contact them and organizing rides for him to visit (usually QPP and I driving him, the trip is a couple of hours each way) but I'd rather never speak to them myself if it can be avoided. It didn't start out this way, but over the years they have made it very clear that they don't respect anyone else's beliefs. Not just us, like there was one night where they were going off about some Danish surgeon saying publicly that he was Muslim first, Danish second, and they were trying to convince us to be terrified by that. The conversation ended awkwardly when Husband asked if Adad was Nationality or Christian first (because that's different you see). We have found books on the bookshelves in the guest room about how any kind of queerness at all is demonic possession, one of which they wrote. They talk about things like being sent on a mission by their god to save as many (and I hate that these are quotes) "brown heathen children" by making them Christians as possible (Son and his adopted siblings are all First Nations, Amom and Adad are as white as I am), or how Jewish people are evil for stopping Christians from claiming their suffering because "Jesus was a Jew so aren't all Christians also Jews?". Amom once spent a week trying to convince me to go to church with her and share the details of my childhood sexual abuse with the entire congregation because "it will show God you are ready to be forgiven". QPP is a shintoist and after they found that out, we started seeing more literature about the Japanese, specifically during WWII, around their house when we visited.

We have politely made it clear that we are not interested in Christianity, especially not their version. Multiple times. We thought it was finally over after Son had a meltdown at them at his graduation ceremony because he wanted JUST ONE conversation with them that wasn't about Jesus. He was in tears trying to explain that to them, and their response was to tell him he needed to come back to church so they could lay on hands and chase all the demons making him say these horrible disrespectful things to them out of him. He was supposed to stay with them for a few days to visit after that, but by the time I tracked him down and got him calm, he didn't want to go anymore. They seemed to stop after that, like they actually backed off and I think I got maybe 2 emails that didn't mention God or Jesus, not even a "God bless" in the sign off. We were optimistic. Son was late organizing it but we dropped him off (at his request, he's worried that Adad won't make it to next Christmas and wanted to see him) at their place on Boxing Day. We did not hang around, we did not send gifts, we didn't even reply to the Family Christmas Email (it had a video of a Jordan B Peterson rant embedded in it and I've told them before that we are not interested in anything that sack of hateful arrogance has to say please stop putting him in my inbox). We have done everything we can to make it clear that we do not want a relationship with them for ourselves, including outright directly telling them politely to their faces that we will not stop Son from seeing them but we don't feel comfortable around them and don't want a relationship with them for ourselves. Son came back with "gifts" from them - a study guide for a specific Bible book (I got John, Husband got Michael, QPP set his on fire before we saw who it was) and a bag of candy that looked like it came out of a thrift store (I got the same one they always get me, which I laughed off the first and second and third time and explained I couldn't stand them because my abuser used to give me one when he was done. Husband is diabetic and got York Patties. QPP actually got something decent though, $20 for gas).

I have managed to keep my "I'd rather you hadn't bothered actually" rantingvto Tumblr, which i don't think they even know exists, but I'm still pissed about the Bible crap as "gifts". I am considering changing tactics completely and being super friendly, mirroring their energy, and giving them the same treatment they've given us. I want to make excuses to visit so I can explain the finer points of shintoism and Celtic paganism in every single conversation. I want to give them books for gifts, books like The Tao of Pooh and The Gospel of The Flying Spaghetti Monster. I want to wrap cash in pamphlets about The Invisible Pink Unicorn and leave it on their fridge.

QPP and husband think I should give myself more time to calm down and just keep ignoring it and playing nice when I'm forced to play at all but like, IT'S BEEN 6 YEARS.

What are these acronyms?