#hong jisoo comfort

[dokries]

always for you (my heart beats)

pairing: hong jisoo (joshua) x gender neutral reader

genre: comfort, established relationship

word count: 875

warnings: some crying, passing mention of food near the end, reader not feeling well

author note: hi ! this is another repost, so if you’ve seen it, you probably have :D this is also very self indulgent but. i want a joshua :(

masterlist

it isn’t until you step into your shared apartment and slump down on the couch, tossing aside your things on the floor with a loud thud, that you feel the sheer exhaustion set into your bones.

you sigh, wiping your face with your hands before pushing the heels of your palms into your eyes.

today is not your day, to say the least. the drink you bought in the morning had found its way onto your clothes, and though you brushed it off with a weary smile when the barista apologized furiously, you’re just so tired. you don’t know why either, considering you got a decent amount of sleep last night.

lost in your thoughts, you don’t notice the sound of the key turning in the front door’s lock, and joshua making his way over to you.

“darling? are you alright?” he asks, squatting down and gently moving your hands away from your eyes, that are…tearing up? huh. when did the tears start rolling down your face?

“–y love. my love?” noticing that you aren’t paying attention to his words, joshua takes your face into his hands, slowly wiping your cheeks with his thumbs; the pads of his fingers are warm against your skin.

“darling, is anyone in there?” he says jokingly. you hum a reply, not having the energy to form words.

he frowns at your response (or lack thereof) before getting up to sit beside your defeated form. without saying anything, he takes your hands into his before squeezing gently, rubbing calming circles with his thumbs. his bangs fall into his eyes, and you notice how disheveled his appearance is. did he run here on his way home from work?

you aren’t unfamiliar with the sixth sense joshua seems to have when it comes to you feeling unwell. on days you feel off, he often grabs you a drink or small trinket from the shop close by on his way home, only saying that he felt as if you needed a pick-me-up, as if he just knows.

you don’t know how long you stare at that mote of dust in his left eyebrow before your voice comes out in a hoarse whisper. “i’m sorry.”

joshua immediately pulls you into himself, stroking the top of your head. “no, no, you don’t need to apologize to me ever, especially when you feel like this. no apologies in our relationship.”

his chest is warm against your head and you’re suddenly surrounded by his steady heartbeat, keeping him alive. you find yourself wondering if your heart beats as steady as his, even though you’re crumbling in his comforting arms. as his hands rub soothing shapes into your back, you focus on breathing, using the way joshua’s chest slowly rises and falls as an example.

after an eternity, or maybe just two minutes, joshua pushes you back slightly so that your back rests against the couch and he can see your face again.

“wanna talk about it?” he asks softly. you know joshua would never push you to talk if you didn’t want to but you feel like maybe it would help; you know he did it often when he was upset. if it worked for him, maybe it would for you too?

mustering up the energy to speak, you shake your head. “just had a bad day, shua. it just–it felt like nothing was going my way today.” you pause before your boyfriend nods for you to continue, softly grabbing your hands again. “this week has been so hectic, you know? for both of us.”

he smiles softly before bringing your hand up to his mouth, and places a small kiss on the side of it.

“yeah…you’re right. is there anything i can do for you today though?” he nudges your knee for an answer.

you speak hesitantly. “can you…let me listen to your heartbeat?” you see him raise an eyebrow and you rush to continue, face growing warm. “i—i was more calm when i heard it. it’s like, hearing your heartbeat grounds me because i know you’re alive, and i’m alive with you,” you finish, looking down at your intertwined hands.

you hear joshua let out a low breath and look up at his wide eyed expression as he kisses you on the cheek before moving back from your face slightly, your noses almost touching. his tone warm, he calls your name gently. “of course. you can always hear my heart beat, as it beats for you.”

you giggle a little at his slightly very corny line and at his goofy grin, knowing he’s just trying to cheer you up. you move towards joshua’s chest, his arms wrapping around you once more.

you close your eyes, savouring the warmth of being hugged by him, and listen to his heart beat, just for you.

soon enough, you fall asleep and joshua lifts you up slowly before moving you to your bed and wishing you sweet dreams with a peck on the forehead. when you wake up, he’ll make soup is what he plans in his head, as he moves to sit down on the couch.

a small smile creeps up on his face as he puts his hand to his heart. the one beats for you, always.

[kyeomkuppie]

Insomnia.

Pairing: Joshua x gn!reader

Genre: fluff, hurt/comfort

Synopsis: Your boyfriend comforts you when you can't sleep.

"Darling, why aren't you sleeping?" He groggily sat up. You'd been tossing and turning for the past 30 minutes, which led to your boyfriend waking up.

"Can't sleep."

"C'mere," He pulled you by your waist, your back against his chest. "We'll fall back to sleep together, hm?"

You turned around to bury your head in his chest. It felt so warm, the way his arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer to hear the sounds of his heartbeat.

"What's on your mind?" Silence. "Darling?"

"I'm just so tired— and sleep just isn't coming." You whispered.

Your voice was hoarse and exhausted, barely above a whisper. The exhaustion was eating at you and you were only yearning for a way to get you to sleep.

He gently patted your back. Silence engulfed the room but it was as if some unspoken words were going on between you two. He knew you had insomnia and that it was difficult— very difficult for you to fall asleep but despite that, he wanted to share your sleepless night with you even if it meant waking up tired like he had been sleeping on rocks

You were starting to feel drowsy as your boyfriend told you about his day and random things about the past "Remember when when you used to like me and you wouldn't look me in the eye." He chuckled "I used to think you hated me then."

You smiled to yourself, remembering how you used to act around him. Joshua had always been the one person who knew how to make you smile in the toughest of times, despite not being at his best either.

He was tired. It was apparent from the way he kept yawning every few seconds but he still insisted on keeping you company.

You were finally getting drowsy and your eyes were slowly closing on their own. "Love you Shua." You whispered before finally closing your eyes, drifting off to dreamland.

"I love you too darling." He smiled before his head finally fell back on his pillow.

Reblogs and comments are appreciated!

[juniperdugong]

hello! can i req for a short bf!shua fic wherein yn has been sick for days and shua takes care of her and it kinda overwhelms her bec it was her first time being taken care of like that by other person (she’s used to being alone & shua just love her so much huhu) thank you! 🤍

Here Now - Joshua Hong

WC: 1k || Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Angst (?) || Lover boy Joshua Hong is in the house!!

A/N: I'm not gonna tell y'all what to do but...you maybe totally should envision this to "Lean On Me" (aka my favoritest SVT song ever)

It's been days since you've gotten up from the comfy nest you created for yourself on your bed. Wrapped up in blankets and snuggling pillows like a newborn monkey.

You hadn't gotten sick like this in forever, it's very possible that you haven't been this sick in your entire life actually. You've been calling out of work for days and any movements made past the kitchen or the bathroom were futile attempts that would leave you hurling.

So all in all, you're extremely lucky to have Joshua by your side. Bringing you meals, making you meals, making sure you're taking medicine, he even took a few days off to make sure that if you needed him he was there.

Which, if you were being honest, made you feel even more sick.

It's not like the attention wasn't appreciated...no! You loved the way that Shua loved. You really truly did! It's rare that fights ever caused wedges between you because he was always so good with communication. He was always keen on making sure that you knew that he was yours and only yours, calling every single night on tour and planning dates like it was his job. Shua was - just as he's boasted about all these years - a gentleman.

But you'd be lying if you didn't acknowledge that this didn't feel right, that him taking care of you felt comfortable. It was anything but.

You can take care of yourself and you have for many many years. So when Shua started to bring over food, made sure to set alarms to remind you to take medicine, and spend nights at your place - it's fair to say that you felt suffocated? Or it's more like you didn't want to take up his time.

Joshua is busy. You've always known him to be extremely hard-working, not only in your relationship but also in his professional life. And it's not like you ever minded, in fact, you enjoy being alone. It's just how life has turned out for you thus far, in ways, being alone is much more comfortable than being surrounded by others constantly.

When you'd gotten together it was pretty out of the ordinary. It's not like you're polar opposites but Shua is so outgoing, friendly, and sociable - it astonished you how kind he was to everyone. To be able to call him your boyfriend seems a bit like a privilege. And it only made it that much harder to accept this kind of care.

"You don't have to do all this Shua."

"Hmm? What do you mean?" He stares at you from the edge of the best where he's sitting, the thermometer still in his hand as he had just checked your temperature.

"I mean take time off and stuff. You don't have to do this for me."

Utterly confused he keeps quiet, placing the thermometer on the nightstand. He's always been good about letting other people have the space to speak.

"I know you're trying to be nice...but I can do stuff myself. You don't have to dote on me." He's letting you finish your speech but as you look into his eyes you can see he's readying himself to refute. "I know you're busy-"

"No." His tone is so stern that it scares you.

"Josh-" You nervously rub your hands together but Shua is quick to hold your palms in his.

"I'm not busy, y/n. I'm not busy when it comes to you."

"That's the thing Shua! You really shouldn't feel like you need to do any of this just because I'm your partner or out of any obligations...." He sees the guilty look on your face as you stare down at your intertwined fingers.

He scoffs, "Yeah and you shouldn't feel like you're a burden to me because I'm your partner." He rolls his eyes with a smile but you're completely blown away by the statement. "Seriously...you act like we're not gonna recite the words "through sickness and health" one day."

"Yeah but you have so much going on- I've taken care of myself for forever so it's really okay for me to continue to do so. I haven't had the kind of support you do, y'know? I've grown accustomed to being alone and doing things alone..." You take a big breath and let it out, letting the weight glide off your shoulders. "I just don't want to be another thing you think you have to worry about."

He's looking at you with the biggest stupidest doe eyes, taking in every single word you say. It only makes your heart pound more and not in any sort of lovesick manner, but in embarrassment of the situation.

"You're so...frustrating sometimes y/n."

Dumbfounded at the jab your face screws up in disbelief of his words...it feels like your world could come crashing down right now. Maybe you just shouldn't have said anything-

"I know you've done things all on your own. You're literally one of the strongest people I know. It's one of my favorite qualities about you. You're independent, reliable, and so- Just- Ugh!" He facepalms. "I know all of this about you - you're so perfect and it breaks my heart that you would ever think you could be any sort of problem for me. I'm here for you. Yes, you've learned to go through it all alone and take care of yourself. But that doesn't mean that you have to do that...especially not anymore."

You don't know if it would be more appropriate to cry or smile in this situation so you resolve to just holding him as close as you can. You can feel as tears begin to gather but you hold yourself together -although, now you know that he wouldn't mind if you let it all go.

"It worries me so much that you feel like you can't lean on me." He rests in the crook of your neck and speaks against your skin.

"Just rest now, babe. Look your temp is already a lot better than yesterday." He separates from you and holds the thermometer up as proof, "Rest. I'm here now and I refuse to let you go through life alone!" That goofy smile that had you fallen head over heels for adorns his face.

*RING RING RING* "Medicine alarm..." He presses a kiss to your cheek. Yeah, you're really lucky to have Joshua.

A/N: Crying, I love him, Mom!! Also, I'm so sorry this took so much longer to write than I expected. I was out of ideasssss and dialogue was so rough to come up with for this one. (lowkey might wake up tmrw and feel so shit abt the dialogue ;-;) But thank you for requesting @honglynights !! I hope you enjoy! Please Reblog and Comment if you enjoyed ! (They act as power-ups for me)

Taglist (OPEN): @bemybabiibish @bath1lda

[coupsjin]

home

╰┈➤ bf!joshua x (student) afab reader

╰┈➤ after a dramatic family dinner with joshua and your parents, he comforts you at home

╰┈➤ warnings: parental issues, angst (not with josh), pet name, lmk if i should add any more!

a/n: the fact that my chest PHSYICALLY hurt when writing this omg. this was so comforting to me bc of recent academic stress. i hope it can be some kind of comfort to you too - don't give up :)

wc: <1k

you sigh. "why can't you just understand!?" you yell, infuriated at your parents.

you had recently enrolled in college, originally studying business administration. after going to class for a few months, you found yourself falling out of love of the fantasy of owning your own business. you wanted to switch majors, taking a gap year to really explore yourself and decide what you want to dedicate your life to. this was the first time brining it up with your parents.

they clearly opposed the idea. you never had the best relationship with your parents, but you still thought it was right to visit once in a while. and this day, joshua was accompanying you.

"although it's good to know yourself better... this is still not right." your father sternly says, staring into your burning eyes.

"when have you ever cared about my future, dad?! really, tell me when. because the last time i remember, you were trying your absolute best to get me out of the house." you were crying now, streams of hot anger burning down your cheeks.

joshua tightly grips your hand, rubbing your palm with his thumb.

"don't cry, baby. you just do what you want, okay?" he whispers, catching the attention of your mother.

"do what she wants?! i can tolerate you, y/n, but not your moron of a boyfriend who only knows how to sing." your mother says while glaring at joshua, who stares at her back with calm but heartbroken eyes.

that was when she crossed the line. she could say all she wanted about you, saying how you were a failure and you can't commit yourself to something - but not joshua. he was the one thing keeping you going, comforting you on nights where you just wanted to give up everything. crying on his shoulder while him having his hand rub your tired back was your only beam of support. you had lost the support of your friends, and now your family.

"what the HELL is your problem, mom?!" you screamed, echoing in the large dining room. you put down your fork, "your only daughter isn't happy. doesn't that mean anything to you? i work day and night for a degree i don't even want. i work sleepless nights for professors i don't even l-"

"you are not my daughter anymore."

you stare at your mother, a tear dropping out of your eye. you felt as though a knife was stabbed through your chest, six words you never would've thought to hear.

joshua was now concerned. you were now frantically sobbing, trying to take in precious air between your long sobs.

"come on, we're going home." he grabs your arm, leading your shaking body off your chair. "thank you for the dinner."

no matter how mad he was at your parents, he at least needed to be polite. he held your shaking shoulders, leading you out of the house and into his car. he starts driving fast, his heart physically hurting every sob he heard leave your mouth.

"baby... are you ready to talk about it?" he asked after your sobs had died down into a cry.

"n.. no" you say, the first syllable getting separated by a hiccup. "i just want... to go home."

"okay honey, take your time. let's talk about it while i'm holding you at home, okay?" he glances at you often, wanting to kiss your swollen red eyes. his hands don't leave you, softly squeezing your thighs or holding your still-shaking hands.

when you arrive home, you immediately collapse on the floor. face buried in your tear stained hands, your muffled sobs surprised shua who is still outside at the car. he rushes to you, leaving his car door open. he rushes to your side, closing the door behind him and kneeling in front of you. he moves you to the wall so you can have something to lean on. he takes your shaking hands in his, tearing up.

"i'm here now, shh" a tear rolls down his face, frustrated that this is happening to you, his entire world. he pulls himself together, leading you through deep breaths.

"breath in," he takes a deep breath, and you copy him to the best of your abilities. you're still shaking, but looking into his eyes while breathing made you feel a little better.

"i'm sorry for dragging you in like this, i never thought it would get this bad i-"

"don't. nothing is your fault. you hear me?"

you feel another wave of tears approaching. but instead of burying your face in your hands, you bury your body into his. he catches you, kissing the top of your head while reassuring you until your shakes stopped. after a while you pull away:

"are you a little better now?" he asks, still looking at you with concerned eyes.

"yes," you reply, your voice still a little shaky. "thank you, shua."

he carries you to his bedroom, spending the rest of the night talking and watching your favourite movie.

[wonijinjin]

thinkin’ about you

author’s note: inspired by the song ‘thinkin’ about you’ by seventeen. also, this fic will probably get a second part, because i just cannot leave this on a cliffhanger without a sequel, that would be a shame

update: second part of this fic can be found here.

synopsis: you drinking a little too much and calling joshua to take you home wasn’t the best idea, or was it?

word count: 1.2k | genre: fluff, mutual pining, kinda slowburn, the tiniest bit of hurt/comfort and angst, close friends to something more | pairing: joshua x gn! reader | warnings: mentions of alcohol and being tipsy/drunk, the curse word ‘fuck’

your exam season at university was finally over, and to celebrate passing your tests you and your friends decided on going out to party at a club in the city. it was already past midnight, the party going on for several hours at that point, when you started to get really tired, having had multiple shots and cocktails, but your friends insisted on staying a bit longer. you could feel yourself get tipsier by the minute so you thought the safest option would be going home before you did something stupid or embarrassing you would regret in the morning. you took out your phone and dialed the first number that came to mind, your close friend’s, joshua’s. while waiting for him to pick up the phone your messy thoughts wondered to your long existing not so platonic feelings for him. he made your heart jump every time you thought about him, which was almost always, not just due to your feelings, but because you spent a lot of time with him on a daily basis as he was a very dear person to your heart. you have known him for as long as you can remember, and he was truly the most amazing friend you had, always being there for you, always treating you with so much care. he was like this with most of his friends, he cherished people around him and never took them for granted, you really admired him for this. you sometimes hated loving him, because it was so difficult to keep your emotions to yourself for this exact reason. who could blame you though? he was all anyone would wish for in a partner, kind, intelligent, considerate, caring.

“hello? y/n? what’s up?” he said as he picked up, voice hoarse, laced with sleep. “ah were you sleeping? sorry, should’ve known you need your beauty sleep to be this handsome.” you slurred, clearly more drunk than you thought. “were you drinking?” he questioned “are you hurt or something?” his voice sounded concerned. you laughed at this “nooo silly, i am perfectly fine, i had so much fun” there was a moment of silence before you continued “…but i need a favor, all my friends want to stay here longer, so i need a ride home. no way i’m getting into a car driven by a stranger, plus i don’t even have enough money for a taxi.” you expected him to say no, after all, it was in fact the middle of the night and he clearly had better plans on how to spend his. he sighed on the other end of the line “fine, i would much rather drive you home than letting you ask a stranger from the club to do it when you are clearly wasted as fuck.” he said while shuffling echoed in the phone, indicating that he was already getting up and changing. you knew he was right; you were not in the best shape. maybe the last margarita was a bit too much? “thank you shua baby.” the nickname slipped out on accident and if you were sober you would’ve gasped and started apologising right away, saying that he should forget about this, but you couldn’t really care less in that moment. you could hear the hitch in his breathing and the tension in his voice when he said goodbye over the phone, asking for your location and saying he would text you when he was there. you wondered; maybe drinking was a good decision, maybe getting a bit bold with words is what you needed as encouragement to tell him the secret you’ve been hiding for quite a while now, maybe you should really confess to him while you are not scared of the consequences.

20 minutes later you got the text from him and you were ready to leave. your confident march from the entrance to the car failed though when you tripped over your own feet, almost breaking half of your bones in the process. “oh my god y/n how much did you drink?” someone asked while helping in restoring your balance. you knew it was joshua right away, that voice cannot be mistaken for anybody else. “a little too much, i think?” you giggled. joshua took you to his car and opened the door for you to climb into the passenger seat. “wow thank you this is so fancy i feel like royalty.” you commented, still grinning. “well i do feel like a personal chauffeur now, coming here just to be taking your ass home. let’s go, put that leg inside so we can go, your highness.” he demanded while grabbing your leg, tired of waiting for you to clumsily get into the vehicle.

after he shut the door and got in himself to start the engine you two sat in silence for a little while before you spoke up. “i’m really sorry you have to take me home, i know i was selfish for asking, but i really didn’t have a better plan. i didn’t feel like i was this drunk when i was inside, but sitting here made me regret having the last drinks.” he looked at you at the red light. “look, i don’t mind this, really. you are one of my best friends, i would do this a hundred times if it meant you got home safely and some weirdo didn’t kidnap you or something. also, you thinking about me first when asking for help is quite flattering too you know.” he smirked. you nodded, eyes getting heavy suddenly from all that partying. “i can see you almost falling asleep. there’s a jacket on the back seat if you want it as a makeshift blanket. i will wake you when we get there. go to sleep y/n.” you didn’t bother to search for the jacket, just closed your eyes, letting sleep overtake you. “what you said is true. i do think about you a lot, shua. probably more than a close friend should.” you mumbled, already half asleep, still not sobering up enough to control and censor your thoughts before saying them out loud. “what do you mean?” his eyes went wide and he looked in your direction as if he misheard what you had said, only to see you knocked out cold, sleeping soundly like a baby. on the way to your house he couldn’t stop himself from replaying your words in his head over and over again while he checked on you from time to time to see if you were alright. he couldn’t believe what he had just heard, that you might’ve felt something more for him, something friends don’t feel, something he had been suppressing for a long time, a warm feeling in his chest. when you arrived he turned off the car, however didn’t have the heart to wake you. he knew you were exhausted, so he draped his jacket over you, and let you sleep for a bit longer, watching you rest so peacefully after shaking up his heart with your drunk monologue. he didn’t know if he should believe you, if he really had a chance of being more than friends with you after all these years. he got comfortable in his seat, facing your form, eyes looking at your still face.

“i know you are sleeping, but just so you know we will definitely have to talk about this little sentence of yours in the morning y/n. i do think about you a lot too, you know? you need to be more clear next time, because you cannot do this to me, driving me crazy and leaving me to chase false hopes.”

[jinxedmuse]

let me back in — joshua hong, 홍지수

🎵 i keep thinking, maybe if you let me back in (did i fall out of line when i called you?) we can make it better, breaking every habit. pull myself together, you could watch it happen (when i told you, "i’m fine," you were lied to) let it happen, let it happen.

in which: reader and joshua are in a confusing relationship. a constant tug of war over who can get each other more in love, and more heart broken.

authors note: hii! tysm for the new support ! wish i could hug u all :( it means sm & truly motivates me to keep writing! plz enjoy this angsty one shot i whipped up a few nights ago while missing shua & having this song on loop!! ><

tags/warnings: afab reader x non idol joshua, unhealthy relationship, fwb except they’re barely friends, extremely angsty, mutual pining but they’re both too hurt to realize. mentions of the word sex but no actual smut, just suggestive moments. discussion that may come across as ‘arguing’ but they’re just genuinely learning how to properly communicate for the first time since they met…

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆.

joshua’s phone rang at exactly 12:00 am on his birthday.

just as a stream of constant messages poured in, wishing him a happy 27th birthday. another added year signifying he was truly growing up, catching up to time.

the number calling was one he hated himself for recognizing. for engraving so deep within his mind that he could practically say it backwards.

he mentally cursed himself more for what he did next; picking up.

“joshuuuuu” the voice sang out, your voice. on the other end, almost fully overtaken by the sound of what seemed like a club in the background along with laughter from your friends.

“this.. this is way out of line.” he begrudged out. it was wrong, so wrong for you to be calling. even worse for him to be entertaining it.

yet, here he was and he felt oh so genuinely content that you remembered his birthday after almost a year with no contact. now listen, in his honorable defense, shua was many things; dumb? wasn’t one of them.

however, when it came to you? his acquaintance, old friend, ex, situationship, fling, lover, whatever the hell you wanted to call it. he was, no, the first step is accountability. he is, way too smitten for you to have anything such as common sense.

“i know. trust me, i know. it’s just old habits die hard, you know?” you slightly slurred with a melancholic tone. as if reminiscing the countless times in your knowing of each other that this almost exact conversation has happened.

“yeah, i know. so.. what is it tonight?” joshua asked. slightly hopeful that you had more in mind then a simple birthday phone call.

“i have something for you, let me come over.”

his heart practically raced out of his chest. he could already imagine a string of thoughts; possible scenarios that could occur. but he had to put on a front, at least try to resist.

even if it was just a bit.

“at what point are we going to have enough of each other? isn’t this tiring?” he asked, feigning an exasperated sigh.

more than anything in this world he wanted this constant cycle to end, but more than anything in the world he wanted you, craved you, just as much.

the question rang in your ears. i mean genuinely, just what were you two still doing? both in your mid to late twenties playing a constant game of back in forth, banter through the pain that left you both feeling lonely for what? the nostalgia of it all?

at what point would this tug of war finally be bearable?

maybe when it ended.

regardless, you ignored his question. refusing to let the buzz of tonight’s choice of alcohol wither away into the depths of such a question.

“is it still the same address birthday boy?”

there was silence. followed by what seemed to be him getting up.

“yes.” he timidly replied. too embarrassed to acknowledge the fact that your grip on him seemed to be getting stronger each year.

“good!” you exclaimed. getting your purse and slinging it onto your shoulder, grabbing a full bottle of sikhye before gesturing to your friends that you were leaving and would call them later.

“why’s that good?” he asked, retreating to lay back down on his couch.

“it’s only like a 20 minute walk from the club i’m at.” you said nonchalantly while double checking your map app.

“no need, i’ll order you a uber. wait out front.” he replies. he then puts you on speaker and starts ordering the ride, wanting the quickest and most comfortable one that would bring you to him.

“why? i’m a fan of walking actually. i picked it up a few months ago. needed something to do to distract myself from you joshu.”

there was a pang in his heart that felt all too real. he hated when you guys weren’t on speaking terms and the fact that you could bring it up all so casually while he had difficulty even whispering your name to recount to his friends what happened this time.

“that’s great, i’m happy for you. but there’s no need to tonight.” and with that, the ride was purchased. uber black, all for you.

“why? a gentleman doesn’t let a lady walk alone? that’s certainly not coming from you i hope.” you mocked bitterly. trying to push away one of the many painful memories you’ve had since your entanglement with joshua.

“you never let me explain my point of view of that night.” he complained. the flash backs still all too real, as if they had happened just yesterday. a feeling of frustration and guilt making home in his heart.

the uber black suv pulled up to the side. a man coming out to open the back seat door for you as you tumbled forward, thanking him quickly. once you’re in, he closes the door and you focus of not getting car sickness as he departs.

there’s a twinge in your stomach that has you patting it gently. you lower your window and stick your head out slightly. the cool air of the night slowly waking you out of your drunken state.

there’s a few minutes of silence before joshua speaks up again.

“hello? y/n? you still there?” he asked, tone laced with worry.

the question made you laugh.

despite all that you two had went through. the unrequited high school love that soon turned to a torturous one. years of pining, unbelievable out burst of arguments, and some passion yet “casual sex” but you both knew all too well there was no such thing as ‘casual’ for you.

regardless, you were still here. on the way to his place at almost 1 am on his birthday.

“yeah. i’m still there.” you replied.

you both always joked that you were probably thriving soul mates in another universe. you guys read each others mind dangerously fast but it still took you by surprise when he immediately picked up on the heavy meaning behind your words.

“it’s okay. i’m still here too.” he answered. as if to let you know that you weren’t alone in this cruel yet daunting situation. because after all, it takes two to tango.

soon enough, the driver stopped in front of the towering condos. you get out, once again thanking him as you grab your stuff and try to pull yourself together.

what takes you by surprise is the fact that joshua is waiting for you outside. wearing all black, hair slicked back and phone still to his ear. a small smile appeared onto his face, he looked as handsome as ever.

it still made your heart race just as it did when you first realized you liked him all those years ago in high school.

you walked towards him, trying to remain in a straight line. the nerves of the alcohol no longer giving you the confidence which had led you here in the first place.

it isn’t until you’re a few feet closer to him that he starts walking forward to meet you.

you’d make a joke about his action and the symbolism it had in regard to your relationship (or truly lack-there-of) but it still hurt too fresh. was still too early.

“here. happy birthday” you said slightly shoving the sikhye into this arms. he hangs up the phone and takes it, holding it carefully.

“so, how’ve you been-“ he starts but you’re already walking way past him, making your way to his place which he left unlocked.

joshua’s not dumb. he knows you did it on purpose. small talk never having been your fortitude but it still hurt him.

you enter the condo, him following closely behind snd locking the door.

as you take off your shoes and set down your purse, you looked around. everything the same as the last time you were in here on your birthday, almost a year ago.

“i’ve missed you.” he says while setting down the sikhye on his marble counter top. the small lights on top illuminating him. he almost looked angelic.

he always knew just what to say to have you weak in the knees. it was infuriating.

“i’ve missed your nice ass place, do you always have the ac blasting like this?” you say as you flopped down onto his ridiculously soft beige couch. using one of the pillows to prop yourself up.

“the floors are heated so i like the cool air, even during winter” he comes up and sits beside you on the couch, observing you closely.

“well my bad mr.money man” it took everything in you to not physically roll your eyes. you weren’t actually annoyed and you knew shua wasn’t saying it to brag but it was frustrating how seemingly put together his life is.

aside from this rather “chaotic” ensemble, your life was actually pretty nice. yet you were always right behind him, a step behind like some loyal puppy.

and tonight, you had the urge to prove once and for all you weren’t just a puppy, you were an equal.

what you didn’t know was that he already saw you as one.

“come here” he says while patting his back, looking at you with eager yet cautious eyes.

you don’t verbally respond, just physically get up and do as instructed. straddling his lap.

his hands dig into your waist, holding you in place.

“explain yourself.”

“explain yourself.”

you both said it at the same time. it was eerie but earned a unanimous laugh.

“you first” you string out. one hand playing with the ends of his hair and the other just below his neck, playing with the hem of his shirt.

“look, y/n.. this isn’t just a one way street and we clearly remember things differently” he says blatantly. the grip he had on your waist loosening the more he spoke.

“just admit it.” you start, piercing into his soft brown eyes.

this would be much easier if he wasn’t so handsome.

“admit what?” he ask. hands trailing up and down your back, just how he used to back in uni.

“that i’ve had it worse, it hurt me harder. admit that you, hurt me way worse.” you demand, trying to ignore the ache in your throat.

joshua tilts his head back and let’s out a frustrated sigh.he looks back at you with something else in his eyes, lust.

he pulls you closer to him while pushing you down onto him. you look at him confused but he doesn’t speak yet, instead he starts pressing light, gentle kisses up your arm.

“did i complain when you started going out with that pathteic exuse of a man might i add, in uni just a less than a month after you confessed to me?” he ask peering up at you.

there was a slight pang in your heart. you remember it so clearly. after years of a seemingly unrequited love in high school, you confessed to him in uni.

hoping, praying, that it would help you get over joshua.

when he didn’t give an answer before mid terms, you tried moving on in another ways. getting with a guy that liked you way more than you liked him.

thinking back, it was definitely cruel but staying alone and seemingly rejected seemed worse.

he continues, both kissing your body and speaking. as if letting out years of pent up hurt in the air.

“did i ignore you after you rejected my confession at the end of the last semester? a week or so before my birthday? you ignored me sweetheart; even though i was the one rejected.”

this one struck a nerve.

a memory far too painful to be brought up. he goes up to kiss your collarbone but you back up, ultimately getting off him and sitting on the table in front of him.

“seriously joshua? are you really still acting confused as to why i rejected you then?” you ask fully bewildered. one eye brow slightly raised as you observe the man in front of you.

he leans forward and mocks your expression. daring you to state your reasoning after all these years.

you let out a dry laugh before crossing your arms.

alright then, your turn to straighten some things out tonight.

“joshua hong do not act oblivious to the fact that i have been pathetically in love with you since high school. i don’t know if it’s when you started sitting by me in class, or opening my drinks, or that time you shaded me from the sun while i was napping in p.e but i have been. plain and simple, okay?”

he starts to talk but you cut him off, determined to get your point through.

“foolish teen me thought i was special. until, i realized you probably sat next to me because your two friends sat in front of me, you open anyone’s drinks, and excetra excetra but either way, i made the dumb mistake of confessing my feelings for you in uni.”

you’re angry now, not at him but at how pathetic you must’ve seemed all these years.

he stays quiet, letting you take a breather before continuing.

“so yes. to get over you i started dating, having fun, doing anything to fix a mended heart of what i assumed was unrequited love because you gave me some ambiguous ass answer and what i needed in my life was not ambiguity, especially from you.”

you get up while taking, now pacing around his table trying to stop any tears that warned they would fall out if you looked at him any longer.

“then, a year into my relationship, on my relationship anniversary, you confess to me and crumbled down genuinely almost every ounce of self respect and happiness and i barley managed to scrape together to make my relationship work. i had to break up with him because how could it be fair to try and love someone else when a single confession, no, even just a mere look from you spiraled me back into you palm.”

joshua looks pained as he looks at you, getting up to come over to you but you stand firm on the other side of the table. moving sides any time he tries to approach you.

not afraid of him, never afraid of him.

afraid of the affect he has on you.

in a momentary lapse of weakness, a tear comes out and you immediately wipe it away.

“i love you. a lot more than you do me which is fine, i accepted that a long time ago but i will not be the girl who has these arguments with you once a year and then slips out in the morning after we’ve had sex. not again, i can’t.”

you didn’t even realize when but joshua was suddenly at your side, holding you gently and leasing you to sit back down on the couch next to him.

“y/n i’ve loved you a lot longer than you think, i swear it. and i’ve never once told you to leave in the mornings, trust me. i never sleep well because i wake up practically scorn when i see the spot you’re supposed to be in is empty. i get hurt a lot more easier than you think, it’s written all over my face when i miss you.”

his words practically ate you alive. if he had said all these years ago, even months, no even just last week you probably would’ve gone right back head over heels, full in.

you let out a coarse laugh. the ache in your throat from holding back your tears evident as ever and he realizes this, gently brushing back some hair behind your ears.

“you never told me to leave but never asked me to stay.” you murmur almost incoherent while staring down at your hands.

“mhm?” he hums, confused at the string of words you purposely rushed out.

“i said, you never told me to leave but you never asked me to stay.” you repeat, now looking at him directly. trying to read his eyes.

this, he couldn’t refute. and he knew it deep down as well.

after all those years of pining and watching from afar it still felt too real for him when you were suddenly in his bed for the first time.

you could’ve thought he was a teen who hadn’t had his first kiss yet. hands shaky, eyes nervous to meet yours, mind racing with thoughts at 100 miles per hour because that is how much of an affect you had on him.

he never admitted it though, failed the chance to and soon enough you mistakenly took his silence as a “hint” and slipped out every morning before the sun even rose.

it was his turn to tears to start falling but his hands felt too limp to even dry his eyes. so when you raise yours and wipe them away ever so gently, all he can do is cry into your hands.

“i’m sorry” he starts choking out.

“i really am so sorry. if i could do it all over again, if you just let me back in, i would. i would make it right. make a move faster, acknowledge my feelings earlier, not let you slip away so easily. i would tell you to stay. i want you, no, i need you to stay.” he rushes out, practically pleading at this point because God forbid he lets you out his life again.

but you both know it can’t happen. you’ve hurt each other far too much, have fallen dependent on each other for far too long.

it was unhealthy and you both knew knew it.

you firmly interlock your pink with his and stand up. he looks at your pinkies for a few more seconds before standing up after you.

you walk ahead, grabbing your purse and slipping on your shoes. your pinkies still loosely intertwined.

joshua wants to say something, he tries to on multiple accounts but every time he opens his mouth, tears brim his eyes again.

you unlock the door and slightly go outside, your pinkies barely still holding onto each other.

you stare at each other longingly, as if you both knew in your hearts that it would be for the last time.

you smile fondly, even after just crying he was still so handsome.

“same time next year?” he jokes

you let out a genuine laugh and he swore in another life he’d do anything to keep hearing it.

“i’m joking. you are never, ever, allowed in my “nice ass house” again.” he dead pans, while not so obviously trying to hide a small smile.

you knew it had to end here, at his door step, pinkies intertwined. it would’ve never worked, no matter how much you guys both wanted it.

“i’ll miss you, so much.” you say sincerely.

he knows this. “miss” was a massive understatement in his books. he leans forward, placing a gentle kiss in your lips which you kissed back but for once you don’t chase after his lips once he pulls away.

he places another light kiss on your temple, as he does so he pulls away his pinky and this action is the one that almost breaks you all over again.

a beat passes, you stare at each other with simultaneously far too much love and hurt to ever truly be strangers.

“i’ll miss you too. just as much.” he echoes. meaning every word.

and with that, for the first time since meeting him, you pulled yourself together and turn your back to him first.

you walk away first.

and he watches it happen before closing his door, for good.

[junekissed]

baby, it's cold outside

day three of junkissed’s svt season’s greetings event

member — bf!joshua x gn reader genre — fluff, comfort word count — 1.4k synopsis — maybe going skiing on the coldest day of winter wasn’t the best idea. but at least you have joshua to take care of you. warnings — mentions of illness (reader has a cold), mentions of food, temperatures are in fahrenheit (sorry i'm american) notes — lowercase intended, reader is implied to have longer hair

one reblog = one ski trip with the sexy gentleman

“i can’t believe you got me sick!”

"what did i tell you?" joshua frowns, his bare feet crossing the rug to where you lay across the couch. he hands you a mug of tea and you sit up, narrowing your eyes at him.

“i don’t wanna hear it,” you say, sniffling. you cradle the warm mug in your palms before bringing it up to your lips to take a sip. “it was your smart idea to go skiing in the alps during the coldest week of the year.”

“i told you to wear more layers,” he sighs, settling into the recliner next to the couch.

“but whose idea was it to leave the hotel when it was twelve degrees outside?"

joshua rolls his eyes. “don’t act like you didn’t have fun.”

you had enjoyed the trip, a much-needed vacation, but you weren’t about to admit it and prove him right. “see how well that worked out,” you pout, taking another sip of your tea before setting it on the side table and laying back down.

as you shift your focus back to the cartoons playing on the tv across the room, joshua studies you, fondly watching you pull your blankets tighter around yourself. the tip of your nose is raw from blowing it so much, and the trash can by the table is filled with balled-up tissues.

you’d had a cold ever since the two of you came back from your vacation last weekend. the morning after your flight home, you woke up with a sore throat and a nasty fever, and you’d been so sick you hadn’t been able to leave the house.

as the days trudged on, joshua had tried to distance himself from you to avoid catching whatever flu was going around, but he had still taken every opportunity to wait on you hand and foot. you had warned him not to get to close, but he insisted on doing everything for you, getting anything you needed and running to the store to make sure you were stocked up with gatorade and soup. of course he would go above and beyond to make sure you were eating enough and staying hydrated; it’s just how he is.

many bowls of soup and cups of tea later, you were starting to feel a little better, but the reason for that was more him than the medicine you’d been taking every twelve hours. you’d called the doctor and they’d confirmed you were no longer contagious enough to pass along your cold. joshua had welcomed the news, grateful to have the opportunity to get close to you without being afraid of getting sick.

what you were most excited about being better was that you would finally be able to sleep in the same bed again. you hated sleeping alone, not when you could have a perfectly good boyfriend snuggled up next to you every night. the bed was cold without him, and you’d never let him know this, but you kind of missed the sounds of his snores. he was only sleeping down the hall in the guest room, but it was too far away for your liking.

there were a lot of things you missed when you were sick. you hadn’t realized how much you took for granted until you didn’t have it anymore. you missed when joshua would help you wash dishes after a meal, pressing a gentle kiss to your cheek. you missed waking up next to him, curling your arm around his peacefully sleeping body before falling back asleep yourself. you missed cooking dinner together and having dance parties and singing karaoke until your lungs burned. you hated being sick, but most of all you hated how awful the both of you felt, unable to do the things you loved together.

“why are you staring at me?” you ask, your eyes finding joshua’s staring back at you, and you realized you’d zoned out thinking about how much it sucks being sick.

he smiles and stands up, the recliner rocking at the shift. “sit up for a second,” he says, walking over towards you.

you grab your blankets and sit up as joshua slips onto the couch beside you, the cushions sinking slightly with his weight.

he adjusts himself next to you, leaning back against the arm of the couch and stretching his legs out for you to rest your head on his lap. you lean into him, relaxing into the familiar feeling. he rests his forearm on your side, lightly wrapping his arm around you.

he gathers your hair, sprawled out beneath your head, and brushes it gently with his fingers, laying it across your shoulder. “is this better?” he asks softly, running his hand along your forehead.

“mhm,” you sigh, melting into his touch. you tilt you head backwards a little to look up at him and nod, pulling the blankets up to your chin. “better than ever.”

you stay like that for a while, cuddled up on the couch, barely paying attention to the tv playing in the background. you realize you must’ve fallen asleep at some point, because when you look back up at the screen, the simpsons have been replaced by a football game. but it felt so good finally being back in joshua’s arms, you don’t care about missing your favorite show. you’ve seen every episode, anyway.

it’s late evening when joshua finally gets up off the couch, sliding out from underneath you to stretch his legs. he wanders out of the room, and you crane your neck to watch him enter the kitchen. soon you hear the clanking of pans and the fan above the oven, and a little while later he returns with a bowl in his hand, steam rising from the surface.

you drag yourself upright, making space on your lap as he carefully hands you the dinner he made. “what kind this time?” you ask, peering into the bowl.

“chicken noodle,” he says. “sorry, it’s all we have left. i’ll run to the store tomorrow.”

you swirl your spoon around the bowl, waiting for your soup to cool off a bit. “no, it’s fine, i like chicken noodle.”

he sits back down next to you. “we need groceries anyway, i’ll pick some up on my way from work tomorrow. write me a list if there’s anything else you want while i’m out.”

you bring a spoonful of broth to your lips and blow gently. you never have to ask him for things like this; he always just does them. he always seems to know exactly what you need and when you need it.

you take a sip of soup, the warm liquid soothing your throat. “thank you.”

he smiles. “of course, baby.”

as you eat your soup you watch the sun fall lower and lower through the window, the evening quickly growing dark and turning into night. joshua gets up to plug in the strings of lights draped across your fireplace mantle, and instantly the room fills with bright, colorful pinpricks of light.

you glance up at him standing in front of you, holding out his hand to take your empty bowl. “i can do it,” you say stubbornly, moving the blankets and starting to stand. but you stand up too quickly, and a fit of coughing overcomes you and forces you to sit back down to catch your breath.

he gives you a look. “c’mon, baby, just give it to me.”

you scowl and hand it to him, feeling bad at the fact that he’s cleaning up for you and at the fact that you were unable to do a task as simple as taking a dirty dish to the kitchen.

he reaches down to rub your shoulder with his other hand. “i’m sorry you’re sick, sweetheart,” he says. “if there was anything i could do to make you better faster, i’d do it.”

you sigh. “i know you would, joshua.”

he leans down to press a quick kiss to your forehead, giving you a smile as he walks back out of the room. you can only hope you’ll recover as soon as possible, so you can spend the holiday season with your love without this stupid cold.

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[cxffecoupx]

what 2 am with them looks like

seventeen × gn reader comfort, healing (kinda, idk) warnings: mentions of making love, food wc: 1.3k author's notes: this was a random thought, and has been in my drafts for so long, so i decided i had to complete it. writing this gave me a peace i didn't know existed, so i love this work very much. i hope you guys love it too <3

➼ choi seungcheol

in bed. he's probably fucking you into the next week, making you cum at least 5 times before he kisses you gently and washes you up and prepares to sleep. if not this, then you're probably on your side of the bed. the other side of the bed remains empty, because your cuddly clingy boyfriend is wrapped around you, strong arms trapping your movements and legs tangled together.

➼ yoon jeonghan

dumb conversations. lying in bed, your head resting on his arm, your arm wrapped around his torso that shakes with the laughter. it's probably one of your lame jokes that only he finds funny, or one of his hilarious stories about seungkwan and chan, but it's got you both clutching your stomachs after a while. he pulls you close with his arm that's under your head and presses a light kiss to your forehead before finding another interesting topic. when do you sleep that night, that's a question you both have no answer for.

➼ hong jisoo

deep conversations. you're both sitting in your bedroom, hugging pillows as you slip into deep conversations about the universe and your future. you aren't sure how you got here, you were in your bed to sleep one moment and in the next, you're both sitting as you talk about your wedding and your house and the stars and the moon and his mom and his job; the conversation flows easily into the next topic. he only stops when he sees you suppress a yawn for the 3rd time before kissing you and suggesting you both go to sleep.

➼ moon junhui

watching cat videos. it all started a few hours ago, with you and jun on either side of the bed, scrolling through phones. you roll over to him, perfectly landing your head on his chest as you show him your screen. "look junie," you said as you shoved the phone into his face. he chuckles before holding your hand and focusing on the video of an orange cat tripping over it's own feet. he laughs watching it, and it ends up in you lying on his chest as you both watched every single cat video available on the earth. your laughs filled the room and tears filled your eyes, but it felt so good, spending time doing silly things like this.

➼ kwon soonyoung

passive watching soap operas. its the time of calm and quiet after the rush of the day, so when you turn on the tv after dinner, you stay like that until late hours. except the focus has moved from the drama on the tv to drama from work. from sitting at the ends of the couch, you end up tangled somehow - his head resting on your lap or him sitting on the floor, hands held with yours. the tv drones on at a low volume, but by then you've both shared all the tea from your work and are giggling over the littlest of things. in the morning, you're both probably on the floor, one of the cushions as a pillow and keeping warm by hugging each other.

➼ jeon wonwoo

playing games. after much practice and pain, you'd finally gotten better at the games wonwoo often played. most nights you'd be a team going against your other friends, but sometimes you prefer to play against him. and when that happens, it ends in either of the two ways: you're winning and start shaking your hips, or he's winning and decides to deliberately lose to help you win. either way, he wants to see your happy lil dance.

➼ lee jihoon

in his studio. jihoon's seated in his studio, working on a new track. when you arrive, he immediately pulls you to him, making you sit on his lap as he hands you his headphones. you look at him, confused, but wear them anyway and listen as he plays the track he was just working on. as you fall deeper into the melody of the song, he grips your hips in anticipation. it was a song to you, from him, containing the most heartfelt emotions he'd felt for you, but couldn't communicate properly. so he decided to put them into a song, a language he speaks so well and one that you understand.

➼ lee seokmin

having breakfast cereal. you'd gone through great lengths to find and buy the brand of cereal you both highly enjoyed. so now that you have it, why wait for the morning? when he wakes you up in the middle of the night, anxious and groggy about your reaction, he'd worried you'd judge him. but maybe it's the sleepiness hanging in his mind that he forgot you both basically share the same braincell. so the next minute you're stumbling into the kitchen, looking for bowls and cartons and giggling over spilling milk and noisy spoons. by the time you're done, your stomach's filled with food and heart's filled with love.

➼ kim mingyu

moments of soft intimacy. the evening goes by peacefully: you both come home, tired and exhausted; have a silent dinner mingyu lovingly prepared and talk about work; after some leftover work you both head to bed. but slowly, the stroke on the cheek becomes kissing, drawing shapes on your back as you kiss and nip at the base of his neck. mingyu's vulnerable now, only with you, but neither of you are in a rush to haste. his hands cup over your ass and thighs; your hands are braided in his hair. his palms knead the flesh of your breasts; your fingers gently brush across his chest and abs. whether or not you make love comes later, but you sleep peacefully in each other's embrace.

➼ xu minghao

sky-watching. when you poke him awake, he's definitely concerned, but the first thought that pops to his head when you say you cant sleep is to go sit in the balcony. so now, at 2 am, you're in the balcony, a cup of warm tea in your hands and xu minghao at your side. its silent, but its a comfortable silence that wraps around you like a blanket, and warmed up by the tea he specially made for you. and although for others, the silence might seem awkward, minghao knows that this is exactly what you need to escape from the thoughts racing around in your mind.

➼ boo seungkwan

late night walks. seungkwan's energy peaks after he comes home and sees you, so walks to tire you both out becomes a staple in the routine. youre walking the streets in matching hoodies (that's because you take one of his) and even in the cold, he makes it a habit to hold your hand in his. you wander through new streets every night, discovering new neighbourhoods, having a quick snack from the convenience store, and usually stumble over a park or play area. you can feel seungkwan's eyes light up and the next thing you know, youre on the swings, side-by-side. with the little squeeze of your hand, he lets you know he's ready to go back.

➼ chwe hansol

watching a movie. to hansol, any logical being would be asleep at this hour. (un)fortunately for him, you weren't as logical as he thought. but maybe he enjoys it because why else would he allow you to keep him awake at this ungodly hour, watching 'Tangled' for the twentieth time now? all frowns erase the moment he sees pascal on the screen, and a smile places itself. he becomes so engrossed in the movie he doesn't even notice that you'd fallen asleep about halfway through the movie. when he does notice tho, he silently closes the laptop and places it away, before slipping back into the bed to get his precious sleep.

➼ lee chan

listening to him talk. chan loves to talk, and you love to listen to him talk. while mostly by this time you're both dead asleep, sometimes you end up in the balcony, the wind playfully ruffling his hair as he goes on and on about something he's so so passionate about. it could be the most trivial things, but the way his eyes go wide as he's expressing his emotions and the way they catch the moonlight in them like little stars. you're gonna be pretty tired the next morning, but when chan's with you, you couldn't care less.

[nonuify]

ᝰ.ᐟ — SVT ⟢ aftercare

› nsfw & sfw is included ┆ smut & fluff — mdni ꩜.

CHOI SEUNGCHEOL ;

we all know during intimacy he’s an animal like he will let you see stars while he’s fucking you open, but the morning after he’s the sweetest person ever like he will do breakfast in bed, or like you guys would be all cuddly & kissy with each other, just enjoying one another’s company, I also think cheol will be worried asking you if he did too much yesterday or asking if you are still sore just being the bestest partner known ever.

YOO JEONGHAN ;

you would wake up with hannie in bed, he would give you little kisses here & there after being the teasing little shit he is, but guess what he really does care for you when aftercare is being done, he would be like really boujee, making you a nice warm bubbly-bath with glasses of red expensive wine, treating you like the princess you are, jeonghan might be a mean dom but he does love & cherish you.

HONG JISOO ;

okay now joshuji is the cutest when it comes to the morning after love-making as he calls it, he is the sweetest, he will take you to your fave breakfast place, & probably will buy a huge bouquet for you while on the way to the diner, he will be very sweet & touchy with you, he is not afraid to show people & you obviously that he loves you very so, when you guys are back home, jisoo is gonna have it as a lazy day, where you both enjoy your time together, not caring about anything but each other.

WEN JUNHUI ;

ngl you & huihui would be at it TILL the morning, his stamina is insane, he’s lowkey (highkey) hot for that, but I think after making you see stars you both would sleep, just too tired to do anything so you & junie will lay there together while he’s still inside of you (ps, he would get horny again & wake you up to fuck, you oblige obvi lol).

KWON SOONYOUNG ;

sooni IS the one being taken care of, like his horanghae power will take over you for you to take care of him but I think he just loves cuddling in bed & talking about the most random things but treats it like it’s the most important conversation in the world, while your there just admiring him & everything about your boyfriend, soonyoung will leave also kisses all over you & he will bury his face in your neck meaning that you’ll stroke his pretty hair.

JEON WONWOO ;

I think nonu takes care of you by giving you your favorite snacks & such , letting you sit on his lap while absolutely caging you between his arms, not wanting to let go of you even for a second, I think you would be in a hazy-state by his deep morining voice, you could just listen to his soothing words forever, I think also you guys would sleep while embracing each others warmth, letting your worries for later but for now you just wanted one another.

LEE JIHOON ;

now uji isn’t big on aftercare, but that certainly doesn’t mean he wouldn’t take care of you, normally I’d think you & him would just sit in bed cuddling till you both drift into sleep-land, but there is times where you would ask to run a warm bath or get some breakfast & he would happily oblige to you, uji would do anything to make his partner happy

LEE SEOKMIN ;

we all know that kyeomi is the sweetest of all time, I think his care for you in the morning after doing the deed is him making sure you are 100% comfortable with everything, absolutely spoiling the hell out of you, because we all know seokminnie is such an amazing boyfriend, I think he’d also do those cozy movie in bed activities, cause he will take care of you & make you have fun !!.

KIM MINGYU ;

I think for mingyu, you both would be too tired to do anything, so lazily sitting there in bed is the best way for you both to rest, but there are sometimes that mingyu could spoil the hell out of you, getting all the remedies that’d you need, also even if he doesn’t spoil all the time, he will pepper you with kisses all over you face basically just worshipping you even more than the mind blowing sex he gave you.

XU MINGHAO ;

minghao would let you sit on his lap, you head laying on the comfort of his chest with hao playing with your hair, saying “i love yous” from time to time, you know that he normally isn’t like this but seeing him warming up to you only, melts your heart truly, so yes minghao is absolutely the sweetest with you.

BOO SEUNGKWAN ;

I think seungkwan would be the one tired, like he deserves all the attention he needs & you will happily oblige since I see you taking the lead & having more stamina than him, kwanie wants you to shower him with love & kisses but at the end that doesn’t mean he’ll never take care of you, he will do it equally!! but you do it first.

CHWE HANSOL ;

you & hansol would be a silly couple, imagine after doing it all night, you wake up to each other of course cuddling one another but you both would watch tiktok or insta reels together, constantly giggling with each other about a video you’d find funny, it’s not the normal aftercare but who cares as long as you are with hansol, your alright.

LEE CHAN ;

lee chan is the king of aftercare like he is so dedicated to making you feel comfortable & well less sore from last night, like cheol, chan loves spoiling you, giving you absolutely everything you need & more, he would definitely have a drawer in your nightstand for specially post sex snacks & such because he’s such a pookie for you, also chan is really heavy with pda, so expect a lot of kisses & cuddling.

! 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ thank you for reading >ᴗ< !! [ divders by @/ cafekitsune. ] [ tysm svthub members for helping me on writing this 🫶🏻. ]

[pasteidolons]

aphelion - hjs

pairing: archaeologist!hong jisoo x curator!reader genre: angst, smut, fluff, short story other characters: kim mingyu, xu minghao, choi seungcheol, park sooyoung, kang seulgi warnings: afab reader, alcohol use, cursing, smut (oral, p in v sex), people not able to talk out their feelings word count: 13.5k summary: the past catches up to you at an archeology exhibit in the italian town of pompeii. feelings trapped and unknown come to light when you end up face to face with someone you thought you’d never see again.

It’s not that the Italian sun is unfamiliar to you, you’d basked in its glow on a handful of occasions as you had traveled and worked in this country rich in both wine and history. The sun bearing down on you isn’t harsh, but it isn’t kind either, its soft rays acting to lull you into a dreamlike state of relaxation and wonder as it swallows the fluorescent lights of the airport as the sliding glass doors lead you outside and into its heat. Stone pines reaching towards the heavens, it is a strangely comforting feeling to see them looming above the cypress trees that adorn the landscape around the Naples airport. Maybe it’s you just thankful to be back on solid ground, the flight had been turbulent and the line at customs hellish. All you really want is a nap.

“Oh my god I can’t believe we made it,” hand finding the rim of a jet-black pair of Ray Bans, Park Sooyoung’s attention is drawn to the bright sky above, cloudless and blue as it reflects in the lenses of her glasses. “How long is the drive to the house?”

You and your friend had met up a few days earlier in order to travel together to an archeological conference in the historical hotspot of Pompeii. She, being an archivist in New York, and you, being one in London, had rarely seen each other since your grad school days and took this as an opportunity to convene with another friend, Mingyu, and play catch-up. It isn’t the most ideal of circumstances, since this is a work trip, but you’ll take what you can get in stride and hope for the best.

Papers folding and bending against each other as the pair of you stroll through the exit terminal, various cars and buses aligning the strip to both pick up and drop off passengers, you sigh, “Half an hour?”

The now meaningless plane tickets and visa information are now tucked away in a pocket of your bag, gone to the world until you’ll need it again to assess your travel information for reimbursement purposes. Flying on the company dime isn’t something you’re unwilling to do.  

From what your phone had told you and the various guides that had tried to help in the airport, you’re looking at a relatively short journey to the home you’ll be staying in. Your other hand holds the grip of your rolling suitcase as it trails behind you, clicking against the tile underfoot, “Although, Mingyu said that he could drive extra fast if we needed to get there sooner.”

The only way you can tell that your friend’s eyes had widened is from her eyebrows peeking out from the top of her sunglasses and her mouth left slightly agape at your statement, “No thanks. If it’s anything like it was back in New York, I’d prefer to live this weekend.”

Small laugh escaping you, you know she’s excited to see him, but she’d never admit as much. “He said he’d be under the Alitalia sign,” eyes scanning the cars but more importantly the faces of the drivers to try and determine a recognizable one among the masses.

“There he is!” Sooyoung’s voice, shrill and excited, calls out as she rushes over to a small red Fiat parked parallel between two large tour buses. A roll of your eyes at how obvious she’s being, it isn’t tooth rottingly sweet, but it is certainly something.

He’s leaning atop the small car’s hood when he hears the delighted call of your friend, eyes trailing upwards from the phone in his hand and a dimpled smile gracing his lips as he watches the two of you walking closer. “I was starting to think you took the wrong plane.” Phone slipped into his pocket, Mingyu pushes himself off the car and begins to walk towards you.

Sooyoung’s arms quickly wrap around his neck as she leaves you to catch her falling suitcase, a short ‘tch’-ing from your lips as she lets go of him and returns to her bag. “We got caught up in customs,” a step forward and you sling your arm around his neck in a quick hug before releasing him, “who knew July was prime tourist time?”

“The perfect reason to have a conference, huh?” He laughs, glancing towards Sooyoung’s and your luggage. “I’m not too sure all of this will fit in the trunk; someone might be stuck with it in the backseat.”

And that’s how you find yourself, head pressed up against the window as the rolling hills of the Italian countryside pass to your left, while a mountain of a collection of both Sooyoung and your baggage peeks into your periphery. Headphone in your right ear, you’d been listening to a podcast on your flight detailing different religions around the world and were continuing on listening to one detailing the festivities of the Roman holiday Saturnalia.

As you listen to how, while a merry tradition, it held underlying themes of human sacrifices and the benevolence/maleficence of the gods, you find yourself slowly nodding off as you press the side of your head against the glass of the window and close your eyes. Not before eyeing Mingyu looking over at Sooyoung with a smile on his face as her attention is rapt upon him. You’d made a bet with him when the three of you had first been acquainted as to just how long it would take him to ask her out. The way they look at each other is something you think only found in movies, it makes you yearn for an affection you don’t quite have in your life. Although you’d lost that bet, as they hadn’t so much as gone on a date, you can tell they’re just too chicken with one another to say anything.

The darkness of sleep quelled when Sooyoung quietly rouses you as she gently shakes your knee with her hand. She’s turned to look at you when your eyes crack open and the golden glow of the afternoon haloes her to make her look even more ethereal.

“Your forehead looks bruised,” a smile, more so caring than anything malevolent, on her lips as she knows how you’d barely slept the entire flight. “Mingyu said we’ll be there in a few minutes.”

A look out the window and you realize that the scenery has shifted significantly, becoming rockier as the sight of the mountain is now far more in view than it was when you’d fallen asleep.

“The house is on the southern end of Vesuvius, it’s actually pretty close to the ruins if you have time to visit while you’re here,” Mingyu notes, knowing how much Roman history had enthralled you in your earlier years of work.

“We’ve got a few days,” Sooyoung ponders as if she’d already planned out her free days at the conference, “I’m sure we can squeeze it in.”

Eventually the car winds its way through some narrow street at the base of the mountain and you come upon a small, rustic looking house. The walls are old, obviously not built in this century, but look well cared for. There is a small walkway leading around the side of the house and you wonder where it’ll take you, but most of your attention is focused on pulling your bags from Mingyu’s car.

“Your room’s the second door on the right after you go up the stairs,” Mingyu says as you make your way to the front door as he was now struggling with the weight of Sooyoung’s bags in his grasp.

After rolling your eyes at him you make your way inside, the dark wooden floors and pale beige walls greeting you rather plainly. There is something elegant about the simplicity, but your attention now lies on not losing your center of balance as you haul your bags up the narrow staircase. You follow his directions and move down the hallway and come to your room, bed made and the last glittering rays of sunlight peek in through the curtains on the singular window above the bed. It’s quaint and homely, something you hadn’t had for a very long time as you think to the dismal apartment you keep London.  

You descend the flight of stairs, thankful that you don’t have to tote any more luggage up from the car, and make your way into the kitchen. Perhaps you’d hoped to grab a glass of water, yet your actions halt when you see the figure of and older woman standing at the kitchen counter with several canvas bags in hand. She smiles and gives you a small wave while cheerily saying “Buona serata!”

Returning the gesture with a mumbled “Buona serata,” of your own, you skirt around the edge of the kitchen to grab a glass and pour yourself some water from a nearby pitcher.

“My landlord likes to come over every Friday to cook,” A voice from your right and you glance over and notice Mingyu standing beside you. “She says it’s because her family’s grown up now and she needs someone to care for.” A nod of your head as you watch the older woman unpack her canvas grocery bags, the contents full of things both familiar and foreign.

“Grazie mamma,” Mingyu smiles and walks forward, seeming to want to help his landlord in her cooking ventures. His helpful hands are eventually swatted away, her saying something rapid but you get the gist that she doesn’t need any aid.  

“What’s she making?” you ask as you catch sight of Sooyoung walk into the kitchen, almost as pale as a sheet as she makes way over to your side.

There’s a gentle tugging at your shirt as Mingyu questions his landlord. A glance to Sooyoung and she mouths ‘We need to talk’ before getting interrupted with Mingyu saying, “Chicken cacciatore with polenta, I think?” A buzz from his pocket and he looks at his phone, “My roommate’ll join us in a little while. He’s on his way back from a dig and shouldn’t be too long.”

Mingyu hadn’t mentioned his roommate too much, just said they’d met when their team was assembled to scour Site V in the ruins of Pompeii and they’d become fast friends. They’d been living with each other for almost a year now and you can't even recall the name even after Mingyu had probably mentioned it a handful of times when you’d talked over the phone.

“Sounds good,” you smile, tugging at your shirt becoming a little more forceful as the urgency in Sooyoung’s eyes is more prevalent. The landlord says something to Mingyu, and he answers with a nod and leaves the kitchen and heads into the living room. “What is it?” After a moment’s calm you turn to your friend, corners of your mouth turning downwards.

“I left my moisturizer at the hotel in Warsaw,” a gentle tugging again, pleading as she speaks once more, “Can I borrow yours?” The soft strums of a guitar and melancholy vocals of a woman emanating from the room Mingyu had left to go to, the landlord must’ve asked him to put on music.

“Is that what you were so weird about?” A gentle scoff leaving your lips as you nod, “Yeah, it’s in my-”

“I know!” She’s already bounding up the stairs and leaves you with the last of your sentence still in your throat.

“She hasn’t changed much, has she?” Mingyu asks as he reenters the kitchen. His gaze lingers on where Sooyoung once stood, a ghost of a smile noted by his dimples.

“Not one bit.” You note, “But you haven’t either, Mr. Kim. Your head is still stuck on Rome and on her.”

“She’s not-?”

“Dating anyone?” You interrupt at his worried tone, “No. Unless she’s got some hunk back in her lab.” A look of relief on his brow as you take a sip of water, “You know, you really should ask her out. She was excited to see you again.”

“It’s just,” a hum as he pauses to ruminate on his thoughts, “She’s all the way in New York and I’m here for who knows how long. It’d be difficult and I wouldn’t want to put that on a new relationship.”

“If you don’t think she’d pack her bags and move here you’d be lying to yourself,” A shake of your head as the sound of Sooyoung descending the staircase echoes around the small kitchen and brings your conversation to a stop. “It’s also Italy, for God’s sake.”

“I think your roommate’s here,” Sooyoung announces, stating that she’d seen a car pull into the already cozy driveway and turn its headlights off. Almost right as she finishes her sentence the sound of the front door opening catches everyone but the landlord’s attention, as she is too busy cooking and humming along to the music coming from the other room.

It’s funny how the memory of someone can stay so far gone in the depths of your subconscious that you can very well forget about them until they’re standing right in front of you. A fleeting glimpse into who and what you were before you’d blossomed into a more mature adulthood staring at you with eyes equally surprised as your own. A small ‘o’ shape of your mouth mirroring; the tousled hair, button down linen shirt and dust and dirt that clings to his khakis almost pulling you from the anchoring weight of the past. A small smile as he looks to Mingyu, the landlord and Sooyoung before hoisting a bottle of wine in the air, “I didn’t want to come in empty handed for our guests.”

“There he is,” Mingyu nods to the former, “This is my roommate Josh, we’re both partnered up on the same dig team.”

Jisoo. His name is Jisoo. “It’s-” you begin but falter almost immediately, unknowing if your friend is aware of the lingering history between both you and his roommate.

“Nice to meet you,” an interjection from Sooyoung as she nods towards Jisoo, eyes trailing down to the bottle in his hand. “Would you mind if we crack that open now? It’s been a long day.”

Dinner had gone and passed more jovial than you’d thought it would, despite the coldness emanating from Jisoo who sits at the opposite end of the table as you. Fingers fiddling with the fork of your dessert plate, you prod at the panacotta lying half eaten in front of you as your appetite had been sated the moment Jisoo said that it was his favorite dessert.

Maybe he notices the lull in conversation, the sound of crickets chirping rising over the once chattering group, “So where did you and Josh meet?” Attention more turned towards Sooyoung rather than to yourself. Maybe it’s a slight to you but you don’t blame him, it only furthered the aching feeling in your chest as you bring your glass to your lips and drink the fiery vintage.

“We were all three interning together in New York our- what- senior year of college?” Sooyoung muses, lifting her wine glass to her mouth and taking a small sip, twirling the remnants of the local Lacryma Christi wine to aerate it further once she’d finished drinking. “Right?” She looks to Mingyu, who’s toying with another bottle of wine behind the three of you. The small bottle opener in hand, he only replies with a simple ‘Yeah,’ before furrowing his brow and setting back to try and uncork the stubborn bottle.

Elbows on the table as a flushed Jisoo leans in, “Where did you go to school?” He had always held his alcohol well, had something changed since you’d last seen him? Jisoo seems far more tipsy than he should be after two glasses of wine.

“It’s a small all girl’s school you’ve probably never heard of,” A wave of her hand as she sets her glass down onto the wooden table. “What about you?”

“Hamilton,” A glance to you, brief and painful, before he turns back to your friend, “But I also studied abroad in Korea for a little bit too.”

“Ah, you went there too. And you also studied abroad, right?” Sooyoung looks to you, brow raised in question as her index finger circles the top of her glass, inviting a response that you never wanted to give. “Did you know each other?”

“We knew of each other.” The sound of Mingyu pulling the cork from its home resonates around the small kitchen as you speak.

It was a Tuesday night, you’d just started watching Derry Girls and the cooling cycle of your AC unit had just kicked up with its trilling noise when a text on your phone buzzed, the words of the infamous “You up?” blaring across the screen in bold black letters. It was 10:47PM and you had a nine am the next day, you really shouldn’t respond. You could say no, say that you’re tired and want to go to bed instead of fucking your friend for the umpteenth time when he was trying to get over some girl he’d been chasing after on and off for your whole college career. But you didn’t, you wouldn’t ever because there’s that undeniable loneliness you had where human affection is a sought-after substance when you refused to forge the intimate bonds that held a man close to a woman. Or a man to a man. Or woman to a woman. Or to whoever preferred whoever. You aren’t one to judge.

Leaving the text for a moment, maybe two, to ruminate and stew in the Atmos of the unknown you responded saying “Only if you’ve got a bottle with my name on it.” Phone discarded onto your sofa you didn’t move again until he replied that he’d be over soon.

And with that you were off to the races to tidy up, clean bits and wipe of counters and take out the trash as you know he’s either on his way to the store, or already there, to pick up the treasured Cabernet Sauvignon that tasted of regret and unspoken vows the next morning. It was a solemn ritual; you’d drink as he lamented over the girl (half a bottle each), listen to music that both of you liked, he’d tell you the same story of him and his brother getting trapped in a tree as a child (because he obviously hadn’t ever told you this tale before), some film he’d watched once and couldn’t remember playing as the backdrop, and at some point he’d start playing with your hair. Long and slender digits patting, running through and twirling the strands that fell around your face, you weren’t even sure if this was done subconsciously or not. Not that you really cared anyway. Fingertips gently grazing your shoulder in the glow of the tv, then your cheek, then your lips as his hand slipped under your chin and your mouths clash together in a wanton want for something constant. And then you’d have to excuse yourself to the bathroom to make sure you looked a presentable mess in your drunkenness.

Cheeks warmed with the wine trapped inside of you, maybe you’d had a little too much as your hand reached out to steady yourself on the counter as your other moved to brush a few strands of hair from your forehead. Fingers danced over your lips as the fiery feeling of his atop yours hadn’t quite left your system yet, you would laugh at yourself tomorrow for relishing in it but the you of now would soak up this limelight as this was the first time this semester this had happened. You had begun to wonder if it would again before his text tonight. Another look at your phone and it was nearing 1:30, a drowsiness in your system accompanied by the lull of the red had you stifling a yawn behind a hand raised to your mouth.

He’s in your bed by the time you exit the bathroom. Eyes shut and slow breathing as the woes of the world were only that of it spinning greatly on its axis. Conceptual in nature you never sought to feel anything more than just a friendship with him. Sure, it was a friendship that was deeply ingrained in fucking each other to take your mind off whatever was troubling you at the time, but a friendship, nonetheless. 

You stood in the glow of the streetlights bleeding in from the outside, a majority of his clothes had been strewn onto the floor, and yours were quick to follow. You were trying to get the damned hooks of your bra to unlatch when you heard him shift behind you.

“Allow me,” a smirk danced along his lips as he noticed you struggling with unlatching your bra. You relented as the palm of his hand landed on your lower back, sliding up leaving behind a trail of warmth. In a simple motion, he was able to unhook it with only one hand.

A short laugh as you shrugged off the garment, throwing it to the littered pile of clothes on the ground. You turned and found his lips, “Love that party trick of yours,” you murmured between kisses. With your right hand you gently pushed him backwards towards the bed. 

As the backs of his knees hit the mattress, he fell back, but not before reaching to grab your hands to bring you down with him. 

After a few more pecks with your chest flush against his, you sat up, straddling his lap as he chased your lips until he couldn't reach them anymore. Instead, his hands that were entwined with yours released their hold and traveled up your sides, finding anchor on your hips. It was then he began to gently guide your hips to move, you couldn’t  help the moan that fell from your lips or the way your hips instinctively rolled over his painfully hard cock.

“I can feel you through the fabric,” he sighed out breathing heavily, he glanced down to where your bodies almost met, the wetness of your core seeping through the layers of cloth. “Is that all for me?”

“Only for you,” you murmured, knowing it would spur him further. “Just touch me more.”

With a newfound sense of purpose, he did. His right hand raised, his thumb brushed over your breast, his index finger moved as well to play with your hardening nipple. You found yourself shifted to the flat of your back when you let out a moan and he moved himself to hover over you, looking down at his hand gliding over your skin, any feeling of shyness quickly left him. His lips met yours as his hand slid back down your side, the other being used to leverage himself over you. 

Something’s said, you’re not sure exactly what as it’s a mixture of words you do and do not understand. Jisoo’s lips lower, to your collarbone, through the valley of your breasts and down to your stomach. His hands find the sides of your hips, his own feet falling to the floor as he drags you to the side of the bed so that your knees and calves dangle over the edge. Fingers tangled through his dark and once coiffed locks as he lowered himself to your core, you couldn’t help but to try and quell your pounding heart. 

“Help me with this part?” He asked quietly, hooking his fingers around the waistband of your underwear. You obliged willingly, raising your hips to let him slide off the cloth with ease. “Perfect,” you could hear the smirk in his voice.

His lips captured your bud and your back arched at the contact, his hands moved away from your breasts and down your sides to the insides of your thighs, gently pushing them apart. 

His fingers run along your slick, gathering it as he releases your clit with a small pop before he pushes his index finger inside of you. After a moment, the word, “Move,” left you more enthusiastically than you anticipated. Yet he met your request with fervor, pumping his digit into you while you curled your fingers in his hair, gently tugging at his locks.

“Fuck–!” voice breathy as it leaves you, another finger, his middle, added to your core causing you to relinquish your hold on him to find your hands tangling atop the duvet.  

“Do you feel good?” He questions almost teasingly, knowing the answer as you let out a string of words ebbing on profanity and proclamations of your feelings. 

“I think– you know the answer–!” You tried to joke before you cried out as he pistons his hand faster, you feel yourself on the precipice of release. It's when he reattached his lips to you clit did the band snap within you and you cried out, your limbs had begun to tremble when he continued his movements, riding out your orgasm until you lightly nudged him away with your knee and he pulled his fingers from you. 

“Come here,” you murmur as you sat up, holding your hands out to him as he rose from the edge of the bed to stand between your open legs. Your hands found the sides of his face and pulled him in for a kiss, the taste of you and him intermingling in your mouths. One of your hands slipped away from his face, traveling down his bare chest and towards the hem of his boxers.

“We don’t,” he stopped, lips parting from yours as he searched your eyes, his hand finding yours, “we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

“I want to,” you nodded, head tilting slightly as if to gauge him, “do you not want to?”

“God, fuck,” he sighed under his breath as you caught your lower lip between your teeth, “Of course I do. Do you have a condom?”

“In the side drawer,” you said breathily as he stepped away, quickly fumbled in the dark for a moment before he procured the condom.

And with that he pressed his lips to yours once more and your back hit the mattress. Your teeth clicked together clumsily, but it was forgotten with a small laugh as your fingers traced the elastic of his waistband. He hovered over you, forearm holding up his upper body as he trapped yours within the confines of his knees, his free hand moved to help yours pull down his underwear.

The room was filled with tangible electricity, a palpable anticipation that hung heavy in the air as you both had shed the last remnants of clothing. Your skin tingled with anticipation, every touch sending shivers down your spine.

His lips found yours once more, urgent and hungry, as if trying to convey all the longing and desire that he’d been harboring towards that other girl for months. Your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him closer as you lose yourself in the sensation of his lips moving against yours.

It’s then he pulled back, tearing open the condom’s wrapper and quickly rolling it onto himself. You watched his eager moments in amusement as you sat up, fascinated by how much he was willing to fuck. When he caught you looking, a deeper rooted desire overtook him and he came back to meet you at the side of your bed. Your hand went out to stroke him, but he caught your wrist, gently pushing it back onto the bed. 

“Mine,” His breath hot on your skin as he leaned in, pushing you back onto your back, hive raspy tone sent chills shooting from your head to your toes as he aligned himself with you. The breath had been pulled from your throat, when he pushed himself inside. “Please say you’re mine.”

A strangled sort of laugh escaped you, unknowing why he was acting in such a possessive manner. “Just for tonight.”

As your bodies melded together, skin against skin, you lost yourself in the sensation of him, in the overwhelming intensity of your connection. Each touch, each kiss, sent waves of pleasure coursing through you, building to a crescendo that threatened to consume you both.

When you looked at him, a sheen of sweat on his forehead and his hair tousled from your hands running through it, your heart swelled with a feeling as if it were trying to crawl up your throat. The scent of pine and a shiver snaked itself up your spine. He removed his lips from the side of yours, looking down at you like a beholden idol, his hips snapped into you as he'd begun to chase his own high. 

There was desperation in his kiss, and you hoped it wasn’t stemming from where you believed it to be. Your eyes screwed shut in abject ecstasy as your peak toppled you off of a high cliff, and it didn’t seem like Jisoo was too far off behind you.

“Oh fuck,” he groaned, pulling out of you. His fingers quickly moved around the condom and he pulled it off before wrapping his hand around himself. He stroked himself a few more times before you felt stripes of heat spurt onto your abdomen.

He stood for a moment, regaining his composure before he excused himself for a moment, returning from the bathroom with a damp washcloth and gently wiped it across your stomach to remove the essence of him. Jisoo then tossed the rag onto the floor and fell next to you on the mattress before wrapping his arm around you. His breath was warm against the back of your neck as your chest still heaved with the sighs and exhalations of pleasure. 

The shock that came oh so prevalently to your features when he uttered the cursed “I think I love you” instead of the usual transition into a deep slumber.

Try as you might to steal him away from his yearnings and into the beguiling sin that engrossed you like a funeral shroud you shook your head with a, “No you don’t,” as you raised his hand to your lips and placed a chaste kiss onto his knuckles. A laugh as you were drunk on the spirit and freed inhibitions accompanying the acidic red scouring your veins. “You’re in love with the possibility of something loving and fucking you back.” In truth you weren’t sure if that’s it but repeating it to yourself and vocalizing it sure sounded better than facing your own crippling anxiety of it all.

Tensing under you as the brush of your lips atop his skin left him more flushed than not, “I just confessed to you and you’re telling me that I don’t love you?”

“I am,” a nod of your head as you turned atop the mattress to face him, his breath hot against your face while a confused expression settled into his. “You are far too drunk to be saying things like that and I’m far too drunk to want to accept them,” you reached your hand to caress his cheek before you felt his reach up to gently grasp around your wrist to pull it away.

“Are you saying you’ll love me when you’re sober?” The sensation of rough stubble beginning to emerge from his face still lingering on your fingertips, you closed your hand to staunch the feeling.

Scoff from your lips piercing him like an arrow, “I’ll love you when you start loving yourself over that girl.” The orange slants of lights bleeding in through your blinds from the street below your apartment was the only thing that illuminated the two of you. His hand fell away from your wrist and your hand dropped down onto the small space of mattress that distanced your body from his. “You’re too stupidly handsome to not love yourself.”

Quizzical smile playing on his lips as you felt his eyes peering into yours. “You think I’m handsome?”

“I’m pretty sure ninety nine percent of the population thinks you’re handsome, Jisoo.” A roll of your eyes as you turned onto your back, looking up at your pale ceiling, orange glow still emanating from outside.

“What about the other one percent?” As you moved to place your hand atop your stomach he asked, also moving to look up at the ceiling with you.

He was only the narcissist you knew him to be when you were alone with him. Joshua may have loved his physical appearance but was always critiquing his personality, his interactions with others. “Oh, they actually do think you’re handsome, they just haven’t realized it yet.”

“Can we just stay like this?” Breaths intermingled with the cool air of your apartment as he moved to take your hand in his, warmth emanated from his palms and danced atop his fingertips. “I don’t really feel like-”

“Yeah, of course,” an impending sense of dread ran cold through your once warm veins, an involuntary shiver coursed through you causing him to pull you in closer as he thought that you were just cold. You weren’t, just knew of what’s to come tomorrow.  

He was gone by the time you woke up, morning light shining in as you had to hold a hand up to block it from permeating through your eyelids any longer. When your hand ran atop the cool mattress where he was supposed to be, a pang reverberated around your rib cage as you realized he must’ve been absent for some time. Normally after one of these nights the two of you would head to some diner that still sold breakfast around noon while you frantically typed away at an email telling your professor that you’d gotten food poisoning the night before and couldn’t make it to class. Now you were alone and void of the sense of urgency that skipping class tended to put on you.

As if he had impeccable timing, your phone buzzed on your nightstand, a notification detailing that you had several missed calls and unread texts. A sigh from your lips as you reached out to grab the device, swiping it unlocked and reading the last message he’d sent, “Blue @ 2?”

He’d already been seated when you walked into the dingy diner on the outskirts of your college town. Gaudy retro blue interior, a mockup of Elvis at the entrance and the small jukeboxes adorning each table just reminding you of all the times you’d sat in here, hungover and tired. Now you were hungover, tired and anxious. Jisoo was picking at a tray of fries as you slid into the booth, looking up to you as you sat, the vinyl squeaking as you moved atop it, “I didn’t hear you come in.”

There was a gritty, off sounding version of Israel Kamakawiwo'ole’s ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’ coming from the little jukebox to your right and you wondered if Joshua had fished out the quarters from his mess of a wallet for it to be playing. He knew it was one of your favorites. “I’m working on my stealth, might just drop out of college and become an international spy at this rate,” You smiled as you shrugged off your jacket.

A nervous smile on his lips, you hadn’t seen that since your freshman year and the whole debacle with that girl had started. Something was on his mind and you knew it would never come out unless you prodded first. Smile on your face faltered as an impending feeling of dread began to surge through you, “What is it?”

“What?” Eyes widening as he shoved a fry in his mouth, “Do I have something on my face?”

“Why did you ask me to come out when I know you’ve got a history or business class right now?”

“A Comprehensive Study of Italian Literature throughout the Eighteenth and Nineteenth Centuries.” Another fry eaten, he spoke with his mouth full, “It’s not really something I want to sit through every day. And I wanted to see you.”

“For?”

“Do I have to have a reason for wanting to?”

“You typically do.” A shrug of your shoulders as most of the reasons had been like the incident that spurred last night’s escapade, or to run over notes for an upcoming exam. And that one time where he’d asked you to look after a cat he’d been trying to smuggle into his no pets allowed apartment complex.

Silence as the cogs turn in his head, you can almost see them as he tries to vocalize his thoughts. “It’s about last night.” His hand rests atop the red basket that housed the last of the fries. He lets out a sigh, removing his hand and brushing it atop a nearby napkin, “I mean what I said.”

“Jisoo…” name faltered on your lips as you knew what was to come, “You know I’m not looking for that right now. And what about that girl? Isn’t that why you came over in the first place?” the dynamic shifting between the two of you with every word uttered out of this conversation. It was uncomfortable as you felt yourself pulling away when all he wanted to do is try to get closer to you. An anxiety running through you as your fingers clenched into fists atop your pant leg.

“That's why I came over. I realized I was looking for someone to replace you when all I ever needed was here.” His voice was quiet, calm and an air of shakiness interlaced through it.

“Is that supposed to be a compliment?”

“I’m not really sure.” Humming as he took a glance out the window, gray clouds sweeping over the once verdant blue of the evening. “Are you really never going to give me a chance?” He still wasn’t looking at you, you weren't sure if he was able to.

It’s blurry now, the rest of that afternoon. It had begun to rain while the two of you sat in that diner, precipitation pelting the sides of the restaurant as you both made a haste escape to your apartment. Clothes littered on the floor as you somehow make your way into your bedroom, kisses both chaste and longing grazing your skin as your hands run through his now messy locks.

You hated how tender Jisoo was, how bittersweet his lips felt on yours as his hands caressed your sides as he pressed himself on top of you. Hated how he melted under you and careened for your touch even if you’d only lifted your hand from his seconds prior. There was a want inside of him that you could feel rearing to break free, but he was holding himself back, he always held himself back. He craved an affection you were unwilling to give, too reluctant to lose yourself to the possibility of him.

This wasn’t a goodbye; it was a plead for you to stay. With your sheets wrapped around you and strayaways of your hair clinging to the sides of your face you tell him to leave, you’re tired and need to get some sleep at some point because you've already missed too many classes. It pained and tormented you to push him away, he was a good friend, a good lover but you never once had the thought that he could hold that guarded place in your heart that had been untouched by anyone. You were afraid that you loved him back.

You hadn’t said a word to him since that afternoon. Nothing from him ever came to you either, the ties had been cut at that meeting and no trying to forage the relationship anew ever came. The two of you grew apart and became separate people, you never looked after him and you had no idea if he looked after you. There was some comfort you gave yourself in never seeking him out, you didn’t have to own up to the fact he existed anymore and that the assholishness of your years prior could remain a secret. But now faced with that undeniable presence of him back in your life you feel as if the pillars holding you aloft are beginning to crumble.

“With the earth is in aphelion we tend to lose ourselves, finding that even though it may be summer and memories of an us no longer presents itself, we question the now and want to return to the past. It’s a captivating notion, isn’t it? Take this time to reflect on yourself and the choices you’ve made to understand who you are now and who you were then.”

Roll of your eyes as the host begins to finish up her spiel of moving forward as it feels all too relating to your current situation. Hand moving to pause the podcast as you hear a gentle knock on your door. You’d finally gotten the back of your dress zippered up on your own after what felt like an eternity of it not budging those last few centimeters. “Come in,” you call out and Sooyoung opens the door right away.

“Are you almost ready?” She asks, looking stunning as ever in a simple sparkly nude dress, the v of the neck gives only little to imagine but she pulls it off with more grace than anyone else you could picture. “Mingyu’s getting the car ready so we should all head out soon.”

“Yeah,” you nod, glancing to the small standing mirror atop the wooden dresser. It wasn’t optimal lighting to pretty yourself up in but you’d dealt with worse.

“What’s aphelion?” She asks as she reaches for the door handle, eyes looking to the now black screen of your phone. “The lady on your podcast was talking about it.”

“It’s the furthest point away the earth is from the sun. We’re actually in it right now.” Musing as you move to toss your phone onto the bed, beside your purse that you’ll be using that night.

“Isn’t it summer though? If we’re at the furthest point, shouldn’t it be winter?”

A shrug of your shoulders as she opens the door, realizing your answer could probably be better recurved via a google search. “I couldn’t tell you,”  muttering as you lean over to collect the pair of shoes strewn at your feet.

Sooyoung leaves as you begin to slide your heel into your shoe, once put on you stand for a moment on wobbly legs as you hate the way these events make you dress up for things. You feel like a newborn foal as you tiptoe your way to your purse and then to the door. Cracked open it lets a sliver of light in, then a shadow passing over it as someone walks by. “Sooyoung, did you-” thinking it was your friend returning to her room for something you open the door and look down the hall, only to find the widened eyes of Hong Joshua looking back. The two of you stare at each other, vocalizing internally a conversation that had yet to occur or maybe that had in your dreams. “I thought you were-,” a shake of your head as you wave it off. “I’m going now.”

“After you,” a hand motioning to the stairwell as you brush past him, palpitations thrumming so loudly inside your chest you’re surprised he can’t hear them.

When you get to the car you see that Sooyoung’s already in the passenger seat, scrolling through her phone as Mingyu messes with the radio of the car in a feeble attempt to get it working again. You slide into the backseat, your stomach dropping when the other backseat door opens and Jisoo gets in beside you. Never in your life had you wanted to be in a bigger car than you were in now.

It was an uncomfortable ride to the welcome party, Mingyu and Sooyoung made casual small talk whereas the back two seats lay dead silent as you try to cave in on yourself. Jisoo is everything you remember and everything you curse, the scent of his favored Jo Malone cologne soaking into you as you sit in the backseat has you reeling. You don’t even know they made the Amber and Lavender scent anymore. Nor were you aware that he could dress this nicely, he’d only followed the preppy boy trend back in college and at his best you think you could recall him wearing some Ralph Lauren polo to an outdoor event. That was the Jisoo you’d known. Not the dolled-up enigma that sits next to you, his knee lightly knocking into yours as the car moves over the bumpy streets.

You’re not sure which deity to thank as the Hotel Diane is only a twenty-minute venture from the house. Before anyone has the ability to assist you getting out of the car as you roll up to the entrance of the venue, you unbuckle your seatbelt and make a speedy retreat into the bowels of the conference. You can hear Sooyoung calling out after you as you race into the plethora of archeologists, researchers and everything in between. A sigh of relief as you find the restroom, locking yourself into one of the stalls as you try and sate your rapidly beating heart.

It was supposed to have stopped a long time ago, the regret and anguish over him. Yet the flame ignited once more when his eyes had met yours yesterday evening. You barely slept that night and you were plagued by memories the entirety of today. Hong Jisoo is a plague that you don’t want to give up. Or maybe the memory of him is, you know nothing of what became of him after the triste in college had ended and you had gone your separate ways.

“You look like shit,” Sooyoung’s voice hitting you almost as soon as you exit the bathroom, “Not your makeup or anything, that’s fine.” A hand raised as if sensing your aura or to generalize the vibe you were giving off, “Your expression though. What’s wrong?”

“Hm?” You blink, trying to mask the anxiety riddled through you with a confused façade. “Nothing, I just really had to use the restroom.”

“And it had nothing to do with the handsome man sitting in the backseat with you?” She poses as the two of you begin to walk through the atrium, sliding past other partygoers. As you near a catering staff member holding a tray of drinks, Sooyoung reaches out and plucks one off of the tray and hands it to you before getting one for herself, “You’ve been acting weird since last night.”

A sigh as you bring the glass to your lips, drinking as you stride forward into the main gala, a large room adjacent to the main atrium. “Seeing him just reminded me of school, is all,” It isn’t a complete lie, just not the wholehearted truth either.

It seems as if everyone’s begun to be ushered into the main hall, the lights of the stage in the back of the room brightening as an older man walks up, a handful of notecards in his grasp. Doors shut behind the last of the stragglers, the gravelly voice of the man begins to welcome everyone to the annual conference and how it was such a treat to hold it in a historic place. The lights of the room dimming to draw attention towards the stage, you find yourself lost in drink as he speaks, eyes wandering the crowds as you catch Joshua looking at you with an expression you couldn’t quite put a name to. It only made you drink more, swapping out your now empty glass with a new one from a server’s tray nearby.

The speech drags on for another five minutes or so, detailing the events of the weekend. The words tuned out as you feel the burn of alcohol down your esophagus. When the speech is done and the lights brought up, you and Sooyoung make a round around the room, chatting with several acquaintances from conferences and events prior and greeting any new faces you come across.  

“How’s your new exhibition in London going?” A voice asks as you turn to your left, “I hope everything got there safely?”

Turning to now greet a familiar face, “Of course it did, Seungcheol. No thanks to you, of course.” Mischievous smile flashing as Sooyoung leaves your side to wander over to a group of Mingyu’s cohorts. “I’m surprised you lent us your exhibit on such short notice, it’s only been up for a few days but luckily enough I was there to see the inaugural showcase. It’s absolutely phenomenal, by the way.”

Smile now coating his features, “I’m glad it worked out. And anything for an old friend.” He takes a sip out of the glass in his hand, glancing around the room for a moment as if to observe the atmosphere. “It seems busier than usual, doesn’t it? I hear it’s largely in part due to the handful of new teams they’ve set up in the area.”

“Well, typically these are held in stuffy new cities, can’t blame the attendance for being higher here.” You note as you look over the faces of the other patrons. “St. Louis wasn’t all that exciting, was it?”

“Learning about Cahokia was, though.” He notes with a raised brow and turns his attention back to you. “I saw you come in with Mingyu, do you know him?”

“We interned at the Smithsonian and went to grad school together; do you know him?”

“I met him the other day when a few of us early birds were able to get a behind the scenes tour of sector V. I actually know his teammate Joshua, I saw you come in before them so I’m assuming you know him as well?” Seungcheol questions as he scans the crowd for the sight of the taller looming above everyone else.

“Only a little bit,” You lie as the varnish of perceived reality begins to chip away, bit by bit, “I’d say I’m better acquainted with Mingyu really.”

“Ah, that’s a shame. He’s a bright kid, if you ever get to know him, was a great help when our junior archivist was out of town for a while…” You hope he can’t see the painted smile on your face as he speaks again, “Have you met any of their teammates? It really is an eclectic bunch.”

“I haven’t actually, I think Sooyoung’s talking with them now.” Peering back to see Sooyoung laughing at something Mingyu was saying, “I should probably introduce myself.”

“I’ll leave you to it then, I’ve got an archivist and an architect to track down somewhere around here. It was nice seeing you again,” He gives you a short nod before heading off into the masses.

“There’s the woman of the hour,” Sooyoung’s hand that isn’t occupied with a wine glass slips around your waist as you approach the group. “I was just telling them how you managed to snag the Gohyang exhibit, not that they really care. They’re all archaeology nuts.”

“I take it I don’t need to introduce myself then?” Shooting Sooyoung a short glare before looking to the handful of people surrounding you, “It’s nice to meet you all.”

“Nice to meet you too,” A voice speaks up and a hand raises to meet yours as Sooyoung’s grip around your waist is lost. “I’m Minghao, the site supervisor, kind of in charge of these guys.”

Another voice beside him, “Don’t let him act all high and mighty about it, it’s just because our real team leader broke his wrist skiing and is on leave for the next two weeks.” Different hand to shake, “I’m Seulgi. I work in forensics.”

“And you already know Mingyu and Joshua, they’re pretty much our main diggers,” Minghao notes and looks to Mingyu, “Where is he by the way? Didn’t you two come together?”

Humming as Mingyu’s eyes scan the crowd, “I’m not sure, he might’ve ducked out to get some fresh air. You know how he gets.” Unable to find him, his attention returns to the group, glancing over at you, “Was he always this weird at events?”

“Do you know him?” Seulgi's voice interrupts before you’re able to speak, pulling your attention away from your friend and to her.

“I-”

Once again interrupted, this time by Sooyoung. “She actually went to school with him. Small world, isn’t it?”

“Not so much in this field,” Minghao muses, something wistful in his tone, “We all come across each other at some point.”

“You’re still not going to get over that Russian tomb raider, are you?” Seulgi sighs, attention focusing back to you. “But was he? He’s always happy at the dig site but whenever we come to these sorts of events, he gets all quiet and taciturn. It’s like he’s looking for someone who’s never really going to show up.”

“That’s uh- Oddly specific.” Uttering under your breath, uncomfortable at the turn of events and barrage of questions being thrown at you. “And I really didn’t know him that well.”

“Ah come on,” Sooyoung’s voice slurs ever so slightly as you take a sip of your drink. “I can hardly believe you went to a small school in the middle of BFE, go on a study abroad trip with him and didn’t talk to him.”

Pressure building as if you’re a kettle with nowhere to expunge the steam rapidly rising inside of you. You’re a trapped animal, cornered in a room of vicious predators.

A nervous, shaky laugh escapes you, and before you can stop yourself, the words start tumbling out. “I mean we were classmates and we knew each other- We were kind of friends and more, but it wasn’t supposed to be serious, you know? I needed to focus on my studies, on my career. I wasn’t ready for anything more, and I told him that, but he just… he wanted more. But it didn’t make sense because he was in love with someone else, always talking about her like she was the one, and I felt like… like he was just using me to fill some void or get over her or something. And I knew it wasn’t right, but I couldn’t stop it. I didn’t mean to hurt him, but I did, and now—”

Your voice cracks, the guilt and confusion spilling over as you realize how loud and rambling you’ve become thanks to the alcohol that not only lessened your anxiety but loosened your tongue. The group falls into an uncomfortable silence, the weight of your confession hanging in the air. You can feel the burn of a gaze on the back of your neck, and when you turn, there he is—Jisoo, staring at you, his eyes filled with a mix of hurt and something else you can’t quite place.

Smile instantly dropping into a grimace, a mumbling of “Oh shit,” as he brushes past you without so much as a glance, wine stem threatening to break under the stress you now exude from your fingers. A pit dropping in your stomach as the reality of your words and the carelessness of your actions only sought to further dredge you from the comfort of your mind and into the abysmal present.

"I'm so sorry," you apologize with wide eyes to the group. A guilty being inside of you chases after him, the clacking of your shoes atop the marble floor echoing around the space yet muffled by the number of people that you’d outright embarrassed him in front of. Not that they’d all heard, only the ones that matter to him. You set the wine glass in your hand atop a small table before you exit, only after downing the last of the liquid that remained, hoping the warmth of your cheeks is more so from the wine than your mortification. You need liquid courage, yet if you consume any more, you’re unsure what other vile secrets may come tumbling from your lips.

Jisoo’s standing in the atrium of the building when you find him, tie loosened from his neck as if it had sought to choke out every last word from his mouth. You approach with a slowing velocity, unsure how to reintroduce yourself after the disaster of an evening. Another calamity incurred by a slip of the tongue and careless action by you, unlike your past self now this blinding awareness overtook you and a tremendous amount of guilt found itself weighing you down.

“I’m not good with words, I never have been.” A hand had run through his hair as he looked far too more shaken now than he had in the moments prior. Footsteps atop tile as he paces the space, a statue of some Roman deity or emperor looking down upon the two of you as if it meant to judge your sins. “I’ve tried so goddamned hard to forget about this and you just think it’s okay to waltz right back into my life and make it all some sort of fantastical joke?” You feel as if you were a child being scolded by a parent rather than whatever you would define your relationship with Joshua now. If there even was one to define. Eyes trailing the floor as the sternness in his voice was reason enough for you to never want to make eye contact with him again, your blood was hot, and you were warm with repentance. “You broke my heart, what makes you think that you have the right to come back?”

“If you want me to say I’m an asshole I can, the largest of assholes who was too stupid and vain to think of anyone but myself. That was a total lie back there I don’t even know why I said it.” You feel slovenly with the way the words fight their way out of you as you apologize for the immoralities of a time long past, “Jisoo,” he winces at the name, your sure no one’s called him that in some time, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Sorry for much more than the scene you’d just caused.

“Did you really never care about me?” The pain in his voice renders you from the present and into the past where he’d found you hidden away in some closet at a fraternity party. Your arms slung around the neck of someone you’d only met a handful of times before then, focus breaking when the door opens, and streams of blinking led lights from the party outside flooded into the dark space. It had taken you a moment to recognize the large silhouette in the doorway, shadow casting onto the two of you locked into a crude embrace. Blinking you return to the hardened stare he gives you now, reminiscent of that you saw in his eyes that day. “You fucked my friend and didn’t think anything of it.”

“We hadn’t spoken in months! I wasn’t obligated to pine over you when we’d practically become strangers.” Yet you had. This hallowed feeling had plagued you for months following that night, you’d remembered it the morning after and had an apology text written that you never found the courage to send. It sat on your phone screen for longer than you would have liked it to, but that’s what it did, sat and collected virtual dust while you found solace in finding use in other men to take your mind off of him.  

Eyes finding comfort in the statue above, you wait for the words trapped inside of his chest like a caged beast to be wrought upon you as he had probably wished to do since the last you’d seen him. They never come. No floods or wrath or hellfire fury wrung out for you to find. Just silence as the gentle chatter from the ballroom down the hall faintly ambling as the backdrop to your tragedy.

“If I had known it was you, I wouldn’t have come.” Spare him from this detriment of character. Scared. You were scared and that’s why you’d not spoken to him since that rainy afternoon. He’d said something before he left but you were too busy trying to keep yourself together to remember what he’d uttered. In his absence you’d try to remember, but it all proved fruitless and you perhaps had lost one of your truest friends that day. “Didn’t Mingyu tell you we were coming?”

Hands in his pockets, gaze racked onto something painted onto the domed ceiling of the atrium. “He did.” Breaking your gaze from the statue you look to him, quizzical brow already set atop your features.

“Then why didn’t you say anything?” Voice quiet, you feel the alcohol tunneling your vision and pulsing through your fingertips.

“To see if you’ve changed, to see if you’re still vehemently against my happiness.” Eyes turned to you as a frown adorns his lips. You’d never felt such seriousness come from him, it made you feel even more a cornered animal than you’d been in the ballroom. “It’s obvious that you are though, I should’ve expected as much.”

“Vehemently against your-? What the hell are you talking about Jisoo?”

“You never wanted me to be happy!” Hands flying out of his pockets as they move to gesticulate a feeling you couldn’t quite comprehend. “Every time I tried to move towards you, you always pushed me away. I tried to accept and understand that, but you let me into your arms on more occasions than I can count on my two hands. If you really didn’t want me then why did you continue to let me in like that?”

“Because I thought I was doing you a favor! I was taking your mind off of that girl! You never wanted me, or I was too stupid to see that you actually did because you talked about her all of the fucking time!” Voice raising as you continued, a fire boiling in your blood that you hadn’t realized had been only simmering for the past eternity. “It took too long for me to realize that I loved you back.” You were in love with him. You are in love with him and now you’ve gone and ruined any chance you had at reconciliation again. It’s as if some Austenian novel was taking place yet it was far too real and far too raw for it to be anything as romantic or gothic as such.

“Loved me back,” a bark from the back of his throat, a laugh of incredulity as the damnation in his gaze is ever so present, he didn’t believe you and he had every right not to. “You know, I thought about what I would say to you if I saw you again,” Leaning back so his weight now lay on the base of the statue, “I wrote out countless scenarios, questioning why you never reached out. Why I never tried to either. I was so, so angry at you and now I’m just tired.” Frown as he looks to the floor, the fire once bright behind his eyes simmering into a broken flame, “I can’t be too upset; I was as much an ass as you back then for not wanting to respect your wishes. But if I had loved you any less, I might just hate you now.”

A moment’s pause to reiterate what he’d said in your mind, the alcohol running rampant you take a few deep breaths in hope you’d heard what he admitted correctly. ‘Loved you any less,’ sounded like he certainly didn’t despise the essence of your being but with the way he’d acted prior to tonight made it seem as if you were a ghost to him. “Are you saying you don’t hate me?”

“I’m saying I’m old enough to realize that we both had our faults.” Gaze still trailing the veins of marble in the floor, “I used you as an emotional coping mechanism for the longest time before actually realizing I liked you. I didn’t even talk to her that last night, I just wanted to come over to be with you. But you,” Lower lip bitten as he nods his head, “I was never able to figure you out.”

Humbling as this whole situation is you’re finding it harder to stay upright, you move to stand next to him and motion to the bit of statue base beside him. He nods and scoots over enough to allow you enough space to lean alongside him. Warmth from where he once was lingering on your back, you let a sigh loose from your lips, “I was too selfish, I said I didn’t want to get involved with anyone, but I was just scared.” Foot tapping against the floor as the gentle reverberations echo around the room, “I didn’t mean to hurt you. And I didn’t even sleep with your friend, I left soon after you did.”

Mouth parted to say something more, it never happens as the door to the main hall opens and Mingyu emerges, quickly moving to the two of you. “Would you mind if we head back a little early? Sooyoung’s a little, no, super drunk and I don’t want her to say anything embarrassing. Well, anything more embarrassing.”

Knowing how your friend got seemed to momentarily distract and sober you, a look to Joshua and then to Mingyu you nod your head, “I don’t mind.”

“I don’t either,” Jisoo agrees and then opens his palm for Mingyu to throw him the car keys, “You get her and I’ll pull the car around.”

Gentle breathing as the warmth of another lying next to you in bed rouses you from slumber. Light peeking in from the window overhead as you shift, the fragrance of a rose scented shampoo greeting you. “Sooyoung,” a grumbling from your lips as you hadn’t realized that she’d snuck into your bed during the night, she was a clingy, cuddly drunk that you were normally never one to accommodate. But last night had been different, you barely remember the ride home as you’d been in and out of slumber. Joshua had driven while you took the passenger seat, Sooyoung’s head atop Mingyu’s lap as she gently snored away, finding sleep a much better accompaniment than drunkenness in a moving car.

“Five more minutes,” a murmur from her as she pulls the blankets closer to her chest, “I think I’m still drunk.”  

“Want to trade,” a hand moving to your forehead as you sit up, waves of nausea rolling like an unbearable tide through your system. “I need a Powerade and a nap. Do they have Powerade here?”

“Pedialyte maybe,” Sooyoung says, sounding more awake as the covers fall away as she sits up. She ponders for a moment, sleep in her eyes as she stares down at the white duvet. A yawn escaping her as she turns to you, “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Talk about what?” Hand running through your knotted locks, looking over to your similarly disgruntled friend.

“Oh, you know, the stock market.” Retort scoffing from her, “I’m talking about whatever the fuck happened last night between you and Joshua.”

Maybe you’d thought it all a dream, the argument and your drunken folly. Yet presented to you again you couldn’t help but acknowledge it, “I said something stupid and I apologized to him.” More than that you’d unthinkingly confessed you liked him eons too late, but you could blame that on your inebriation, although you’re not sure what he’d say. You’re not sure you saw him have a sip of anything at all last night.

“Seemed like a little more than that,” Shoulders shrugging as she moves to slide out of your bed and walk over to the small vanity. “When he was carrying you inside you were all over him, apologizing about something.”

“I what?” Eyebrows raising as you feel the familiar flush of embarrassment creep along your spine. “You must’ve been seeing things there’s no way in hell he’d do that.”

“-Even made sure to bring you some water,” you hadn’t realized she’d been continuing. “I can’t really remember much else though.” The sound of acute popping as she stretches her arms, “I’m going back to bed, wake me up if anything important happens, okay?”

A shake of your head as you usher her out to leave, an icy feeling running from your head to your toes as you think you’d rather stay in this room the entirety of your stay than face whatever was beyond the door. When you do get that confidence to venture out, as you didn’t hear anyone trapezing about the house, you try and quietly amble down the stairs as to not wake your slumbering friend a few doors down. Pounding in your head you make way to the kitchen to rummage around for an aspirin or five to rid yourself of the aftermath of indulgence. Quiet, “Shit,” escaping you as there’s nothing to be found, only water and tea. So, when Jisoo finds you sitting alone at the kitchen table, water glass in hand as your head is pressed gently to the rough wooden surface, he can surmise you’re probably not feeling your best. You hadn’t even heard the front door open, nor had you guessed he’d be dressed up in business attire once again. Another jarring thing to add to your morning.

“I figured you wouldn’t be feeling great,” His voice soft as if not to disrupt the cosmos, “I brought you and Sooyoung some espresso. It won’t cure your hangover, but it’ll wake you up.” The sound of a cup hitting the tabletop and you look up to see it sitting in front of you. The shift in his attitude over the course of the last two days all too paradoxical and overwhelming for you to think of right now. Your hand reaching forward to grasp the paper cup in your hands and slowly bring it to your face.

A sip taken and you sit up, “Thank you.” Finger running over the small hole atop the lid, “Sooyoung’s still asleep. I’m not sure when she’ll be up again.” Jisoo responds with a slight nod of his head, not furthering the conversation as it seems he’s lost in thought. “Where’s Mingyu?”

“At the conference,” It takes him a moment to respond, “I ducked out early to make sure you both were doing okay. He also wanted to know if the both of you wanted to check out the ruins today. It’s going to be crowded but we can sneak our way through without too much hassle.”

“I think we’d both be up for it after a little more sleep if that’s alright?” The scent of the espresso finally hitting you, it was good but didn’t sate the anxious butterflies floating around your stomach.

“That’s fine, you can go and get some sleep, Mingyu’s not supposed to be back for another couple of hours.”

“It’s quite sad, isn’t it?” Walking through the ancient and weathered streets of Pompeii felt more as if you were walking through a graveyard rather than a place frozen in time. In a way it is a graveyard, yet most came to ogle at the plastered bodies of the deceased than appreciate the ability to see how the people once lived and thrived. You stand now, with Mingyu and Sooyoung, Jisoo standing some feet back as you gaze at one of the faded frescoes from antiquity.

“Sad, yes. Tragic? Absolutely.” Mingyu says as he takes a few steps further into the atrium of the household, towards the small, empty impluvium that sat in its center. “But in a way it’s kind of happy too, don’t you think? It’s a city lost in time but we’re slowly uncovering the past and its people.”

“I’m pretty sure we’ve got a room like this in the MoMA,” Sooyoung says, looking down to the little guidebook in her hand.

“That’s actually from a villa outside of the city,” Mingyu interjects, “It’s preserved beautifully.” They share a look and you turn away, not wanting to impede on their moment.

Instead, your attention turns to Jisoo, who’s walking through the doorway and out into the street, lip bitten you contemplate following after him since you hadn’t really spoken to him since that morning and a plethora of questions are running around your head. You excuse yourself from the other two, not that they would’ve noticed as it seems they were in deep conversation, and head out into the increasingly overcast afternoon. “I don’t want to sound weird but what exactly did I say to you when we came back here last night?” Voice calling out to Jisoo as he reads something carved into a slate of marble beside the house. Standing atop the steppingstones that dotted the antique streets so that you could get a better look at him. “I can’t really remember and it’s been eating me alive all day.”

Hum from his lips as he glances to the cloudy sky and then to you, “You did say something about being ‘the most unmitigated and comprehensive ass,’ was that Shakespeare?” There’s a slight smile to his lips and you feel your stomach doing cartwheels. “You said it at least ten times.” He strides over, not needing to take many steps since his gait is that of a giraffe’s.

“Austen, actually.” Words coming out in almost a whisper as the two of you stand in silence. Birds cawing overhead and the buzz of nearby tourists as you don’t know what to say next.

“For someone who was never a romantic, you sure as hell indulge in romantic things,” casual musing and he moves his hands into his pockets. The air smelled of sun-dried dirt and salt envelops you, even with the clouds above the harshness of the sun felt ever so present on your back.

“I’m sorry,” words escaping you, “I-”

“You’ve already apologized more in a weekend than I could’ve hoped for in my entire life,” A shake of his head as he raises a hand to stop you. Tongue swiping his lower lip, “You know, I thought I was supposed to be angry when I saw you again, but when I saw you standing in the house after all this time, I was more happy than not?” Laugh escaping him, “Maybe I’m crazy.”

“I was too,” in a strange way you had been. The anxiety had been there, of course, yet there was an undeniable elation at seeing him. Flicker of a smile coming over you, “Maybe we’re both crazy.”

“Mingyu’s said you’ve climbed up in your career pretty fast,” A nod of his head, “I’d love for you to tell me more about it if you’ve got time to grab dinner while you’re here?”

“It’s not like we’re housemates for the week or anything,” You smile, “I’d really like that.”

When he takes your hand and doesn’t let it go after you’ve exited his car, that’s when you start to think, finally, his resentment towards you had begun to fade. When he holds the door open and pulls your chair out for you at the restaurant, is when your heart starts thrumming. When he pays the tab but you go out for an hour or two longer talking, reminiscing, and catching up is when you feel like you can look at him without any semblance of regret or shame. When his hand lingers atop yours while he tells you a story about an extravagant find in Site V is when you can’t wipe the smile from your lips and the euphoria from your chest.

“So, other than becoming a wildly prolific curator, what else have you been up to?” Hand moving away from yours as he leans back in the small wooden chair. The dim lights of the restaurant casting soft shadows across his features.

“I play tennis on the weekends, I’ve also got a cat back home but she’s kind of an asshole,” you laugh, returning your hand to your lap. “But what about you? I always thought you’d go into curation, never saw you as the archeologist type.”

“To be honest I thought it’d be like Indiana Jones, but I think the movies overexaggerated his job a little bit,” the joke playing gaily in his eyes as he shoots you a small smile. “But I might look into a museum job when I get older, it’s just too much fun being out in the field right now. I didn’t enjoy archiving as much as this.”

“I get that,” agreeing as you reach for your water, taking a sip before placing it back onto the table. “So, did you and that girl ever work out?”

“That girl,” Joshua pauses, “You know she has a name, right?”

“Of course, but I don’t think I’ve ever called her by it.” Lips pursed as your finger plays with the condensation on the glass.

“What did you call her? An anglophile or something?”

“She always had that stupid union jack jacket on, it was like she was trying to be a wannabe Beatle,” it wasn’t a bad jacket. You realize now that it had probably been jealousy that coined the title.

A short laugh, “I remember that. But no, we never ended up together. I’m really only dating one person right now.”

Brow furrowing, had you gotten this whole night misconstrued? “Oh really? Who is it?”

“I’m not really sure, to be honest. We kind of found him halfway under a rock a few years back and have been trying to piece him and his story together ever since.” Eyes widening as he tells you the tale, “He’s at least nineteen hundred years old so I don’t think it’ll work out between us though.”

“You’re an asshole,” scoffing as you roll your eyes at him. In all honesty you were a little relieved he’d only been joking.

The two of you slowly begin to realize the lateness of the hour, the moon hanging high as you exit the bar with warm faces and hints of smiles lingering on your lips. There is a coolness in the air that hadn’t been present when you’d entered, it wasn’t cool enough to make you shiver but it feels pleasant as it runs over your skin. The drive home is filled with aimless chatter, it just feels comfortable to be back on good terms with him and feel his presence once more in your life.

Not too long after you arrive to the house, you find your friends absent. Checking your phone, you see they’ve gone off to watch a film and wouldn’t be back for another hour or two. You sit on the plush, green velveteen sofa of the living room as Jisoo saunters in with a bottle of wine and two glasses in hand. “I’m shocked at the amount of wine everywhere, I feel like if I stuck a spigot into the ground it’d be wine that comes out instead of water.”

“The Italians love their aperitifs and their wine,” Jisoo says as he pours out two glasses and hands you one. The TV turned onto a channel playing a movie you know but dubbed in Italian, you watch for a moment before feeling the brush of a hand atop your shoulder. Turning to look, you see Joshua’s head tilted to the side as his fingers dance along your shoulder.

“Can you tell me if I’m being too presumptuous?” A nod of your head as his fingers begin to absentmindedly play with a few strands of your hair, “But I don’t think my feelings about you changed all too much since I told you I loved you. And I understand if you don’t want to accept me again because it’s been too long, and we’ve grown apart but-”

Jisoo’s ramblings are cut short when you lean forward and place a kiss on his lips. It isn't your first kiss with him, nor was it his with youu. Although it was your first kiss with him that you wholly put intention behind as you’d never allowed it before because it had called for an intensified intimacy, you’d been scared to assign yourself to such a concept. Yet now you feel as if you were ready, “I love you too.”

Pulling your face away from him, the stars of disbelief shine in his eyes as the glow of the TV lights illuminate the smile on his lips. He looks relieved, sated and gleeful, a cornucopia of feelings that were unobtainable so long ago. Without another word you settle into each other, your head upon his chest as his hands run absentmindedly through your hair, the staticky nature of the television and sounds of a summer night outside lulling you both to sleep. It’s difficult to explain the situation to your friends that walk in an hour and a half later, startling the two of you awake as they come upon you. Their hands interlocked with each other, you shoot Mingyu a look to which he avoids, Sooyoung only winks and looks down to your hand which you find covered by Jisoo’s. It’s a silent act of solidarity, just a casual acceptance of what time had spurned as the night trudges onwards and you return to his side as the other two make their way upstairs.

[saythenameritwika]

Thank you for making me cry, guys...

SEVENTEEN (세븐틴) '청춘찬가' Official MV

[dokries]

moonrise

pairing: hong jisoo (joshua) x gender neutral reader

genre: fluff/comfort, established relationship

word count: 564

warnings: the moon is talked about like it’s a sentient being cause i’m sentimental, a forehead kiss, can be read as existential in a way but it doesn’t have to be, Big Promises, there is so much implied in their words that even i can’t figure it out

author note: happy birthday to me :) (this is queued!) to me these still seem like midnight ramblings from a month ago but i hope you enjoy reading nonetheless! this goes hand in hand with sunset but they’re not directly connected, just written with the same things in mind and the same late times

masterlist

he stares at you, unsure of what your pensive look means as he says your name, his voice a gentle reminder of him being by your side. 

“you alright?” joshua asks, concern etched into the way his tone shifts to a whisper at the end, blending into the air around you, the window open in his room to let the two of you see the sky clearly.

you turn towards him, and he’s entranced by the way the moonlight shifts on your skin, creating shadows and plateaus on your face he never noticed before.

“the moon is so beautiful,” you say instead, his previous question left to swirl into the breeze that was now picking up.

joshua smiles, shaking his head, and you know it’s him silently agreeing with you.

“it knows so much more than we could ever seek to understand, doesn’t it?” you ask, and his eyebrows furrow at the thought before he nods.

“it’s seen all the emotions that exist in our languages and those left unsaid—rage, resentment, regret…” joshua holds your hand in his as he continues quietly. “love, compassion, and comfort. it knows all these personally, all while never experiencing them itself.”

you hum in agreement, and the two of you go back to staring up at the subject of your musing. 

“i wonder if it ever judges us—if we’re hated for our foolishness and mistakes that it’s seen us repeat for millennia.” 

you let the silent question hang in the air. am i too foolish to be with you?

joshua turns to you once more, squeezing your hand in response before speaking. “eventually, i think it may be proud to see our achievements, the way we continue to love despite our circumstances.” 

no, you never could be.

his shoulder brushes against yours and you sigh, warmth seeping into your arms at first before slowly reaching your neck and your head, and finally manifesting in your temple once he places his lips on your forehead. 

joshua pulls away too quickly, and the sun does not take over the moon as you thought it would while he was pressed against you. 

he smiles softly, bringing his arms around to wrap you in his grasp. maybe the sun has come out, the light on your eyelids too bright to be false as you close them.

you both sigh in unison as he places a hand over the back of your head, shielding the two of you from the breeze. he lets go after a moment to close the window, even though he doesn’t want to move from your side, and leaves flutter in with the scent of jasmine as he sits down beside you once more. 

joshua tries for a wide grin and when you chuckle softly, he knows that it’s alright to hold your hands and whisper as he looks into your eyes. “my love for you will stay with the moon for the next lives we live, even if they are apart.”

you smile softly, your touch holding a thousand promises left unspoken. “our lives will not be without each other, and the moon will stay with us for the moments we are unable to be together.”

joshua’s eyes slide back to the calm surroundings outside the comfort of your company and his shoulders slump down against you, desperately hoping that the moon will keep your foolish wish alive. 

[aria-recs-17-fics]

SEVENTEEN POLY!! FIC - RECOMMENDATIONS

for

KINK-TOBER 2024 :

🥀 Jeonghan × afab!!read × Joshua (Hong Jisoo)

by @smileysuh

Filthy

splashed

Lights Out by @hannieween

brat by @sunflowergyeomie

fighting for your love by @rubyreduji

Epiphany by @okiedokrie

Siblings or Dating by @bitchlessdino

🥀 Wonwoo × afab!!reader × Mingyu

by @smileysuh

good & bad

crossroads

Rules

Besties

A Break

Anteric

class project

game over by @lovelyhan

favourite by @simpxxstan

Midnight Appetite by @writeformesinpie

Good to be Bad by @rubyreduji

Good To Us by @multi-kpop-fanfics

too much of a good thing by @lovelyhan

Getting Closer by @milfgyuu

Green Eyes and Confessions by @svtiddiess

first time by @sluttyminghao

🥀 Seungcheol × afab!!reader x Mingyu

ice cold, cabin fever by @smileysuh

neighbourly by @ncteez

🥀 S.Coups (Choi Seungcheol) × afab!!reader × Jeonghan

Inflection Point by @lovelyhan

take trouble, make it double by @sluttywoozi

Bratty Sub Seungcheol and Hard Dom Jeonghan by @hoshifighting

Big Decisions by @everyonewooeverywhere

don't be bratty by @sluttyminghao

ADORABLY, Yours by @nnight-dances

🥀 Hoshi (Kwon Soonyoung) × reader × Woozi (Lee Jihoon)

You're Sexy, We're Sexy by @onlymingyus

Mingyu × afab!!reader × Vernon (Chwe Hansol)

yours. mine. ours. by @faewoozi

🥀 Joshua × afab!!reader × Dokyeom (Lee Seokmin)

To You by @onlymingyus

🥀Joshua × afab!!reader × Mingyu

Stay 'Till Sunrise by @shuadotcom

Unforeseen Circumstances by @solarwonux

Half Past Five High by @multi-kpop-fanfics

By @peachybun-bun

Such a Brat

Hush

Feral by @sebuntease

🥀Jeonghan × afab!!reader × Mingyu

Like We Just Met by @onlymingyus

🥀 Woozi (Lee Jihoon) × afab!!reader × Mingyu

comfort by @onlyseokmins

Our Dawn is Hotter than Our Day by @onlymingyus

🥀Wonwoo × afab!!reader × Dokyeom (Lee Seokmin)

the situationship by @bitchlessdino

🥀Wonwoo ×afab!!reader × The8 (Xu Minghao)

by @solarwonux

Baby Doll

Champagne Kisses

Just Desserts by @seungkwansphd

🥀Mingyu × afab!!reader × The8 (Xu Minghao)

two is better than one by @sluttyminghao

Flashing Lights by @gyuhao

🥀Junhui × afab!!reader × THE8 (Xu Minghao)

Eyes Roll by @onlymingyus

🥀S.Coups (Choi Seungcheol) x reader x Hoshi (Kwon Soonyoung )

Omega, Ours by @onlymingyus

🥀 Seungkwan ×afab!!reader × Dino (Lee Chan)

you got it all wrong by @seokgyuu

🥀 afab!!reader × more than 3 SVT members (orgy)

afab!!reader × '95 line : The Reckless Heiress by @brownsugarbaybee

afab!!reader × '96 line (only Wonwoo, Woozi & Hoshi) Homie Train by @bitchlessdino

afab!!reader × '96 line : Dirty Dancing by @sluttyminghao

afab!!reader × ot13 : Play Along : The Series by @xddaengx

afab!!reader × hip-hop unit ( only S.Coups, Wonwoo & Mingyu) : Fuck, MARRY, Kill by @bitchlessdino

afab!!reader × ot13 : Shows on 3..2..1 by @cherry-hulu

afab!!reader × booseoksoon : 7pm by @onlymingyus

afab!!reader × Hip-hop unit (only Wonwoo, Mingyu & Vernon) : Night Out by @smileysuh

95 line × afab!!reader × Mingyu & Wonwoo - By @smileysuh -

Penance

Clowns

Have a good day reader ~ 🌻

[hannieehaee]

18+ / mdi

content: toxicbf!seungcheol, more like possessivebf!seungcheol honestly, he's kinda a dick but not THAT much, jealousy, possessive behavior, afab reader, reader mentioned to be shorter than him, smut, penetrative sex, public sex, oral (m receiving), etc.

wc: 2201

a/n: tysm to the person who requested this <3 i didn't make him super toxic but more possessive and annoying.

masterlist

"shit, baby. you look so good. any plans tonight?" seungcheol hugged you from behind as you stared into the mirror, doing the finishing touches on your hair.

'"what do you mean if i have plans? we're going out. to the monthly meeting with the guys, remember? seokmin's girlfriend said she's coming too"

"hmm? since when? wait, hold on. you're wearing that to dinner with the boys?"

you groaned against him, "you literally just said i looked good. what's the problem?", you already kind of had an idea, but wanted to confirm for some dumb reason.

"yeah, that's when i thought you were going out with the girls or something. do you have to dress like this when you hang out with the guys?"

you knew cheol was a bit on the ... possessive side. he would sometimes be a little too jealous when it came to you being around the guys too much (around any guy, really). despite always confirming to him that you would never look at any of them as more than friends, he would still keep his guard up. it was endearing at times, seeing as it was usually just lighthearted jealousy, but he was doing a really good job at pissing you off right now.

you turned around, now facing him directly, "what's that supposed to mean?"

"baby, cmon! they're guys! and you're ... well, you're you!"

"did you want me to repeat myself or are you actually gonna explain what that's supposed to mean now?"

"listen. you're so beautiful. i had no chance at resisting you when we first met. imagine if i'd met you while you were wearing a tiny little black dress. i would've lost my mind. they're men, baby. they're weak-minded. i dont wanna let them even see you like this." despite the stupid neanderthal logic he was feeding you with, his reasoning gave you a slight ego-boost, dissipating your annoyance a bit.

you approached him, grabbing onto the collar of his shirt as you adjusted his tie - today's theme for the monthly meeting had been strictly formal, courtesy of a hong jisoo – and stared into his eyes, flirtatious smile gracing your lips.

"cheollie ... the dress code's formal. and i know how strict you guys are about that. if you can wear those stupid leather pants on stage while performing for carats, – who, by the way, do wanna fuck you – i can wear a tiny little dress around my very platonic friends."

you were pretty sure seungcheol had tuned you out already, at least judging from how distracted his hands had become now that they were kneading your ass under the short skirt of the dress. in any other circumstances you would've entertained him, maybe even let him fuck you before leaving home, but you weren't about to reward his stupid comments from earlier with sex. separating yourself from him, you chided at him, telling him to get ready, because you'd be leaving together; with no need to change your clothes.

~

upon arriving to the restaurant of choice - an entirely rented out luxury restaurant joshua had seemingly been eyeing for a while - you and a sulky seungcheol (he had brought up the dress issue again in the car) quickly spotted a table full of people. it was all twelve members of seventeen, plus joshua's and seokmin's girlfriends, who would also be making their debut appearance at the monthly dinner. as expected, the boys were all wearing suit and tie, while the girls had dresses on. you had to admit, maybe yours was a bit more provocative, but you felt comfortable since you would only be around close friends.

the moment they spotted you walking in, jeonghan took the liberty of standing up, looking you up and down before smirking and giving you a quick hug, even going as far as pulling out a chair for you to sit. you appreciated the gesture, taking a seat and thanking him, completely ignoring seungcheol's annoyed grumble along the lines of 'i'm supposed to do that'.

the dinner went pretty okay after that, with one or two complimentary comments directed at your apparel. you'd also noticed a few of the boys staring a bit more than usual, but you'd dressed up, after all, so it wasn't very surprising to you. seungcheol, on the other hand, grew more and more annoyed every time a member directed themselves to you, even if it was with innocent intentions. he had built an idea in his head that everyone mustve wanted you the way that he wanted you. it also didn't help that you were sitting right by jeonghan and mingyu, members who were renown for being a bit flirtier than the rest. you knew it was just in their nature, and completely meaningless when directed towards you, but you could feel your boyfriend's fumes increase next to you as the night went on.

after a while seungcheol had begun to speak over you, acting as if you couldn't respond or interact with his members on your own. he was beginning to show his annoyingly possessive side, acting overly overprotective over you, almost as if you were a prize to keep under lock and key.

there were only a few instances in which he did this. he could sometimes act like a dick about it, wanting to show the rest of the guys how you were his and no one else's

then came what broke the camel's back. yoon jeonghan must've sensed some tension in seuncheol's behavior, adding two and two and figuring out that his possessive friend must've been feeling some type of way at any attention headed your way. so, he decided to have fun with it, amping up his flirting.

"shit, have i told you how beautiful you look tonight?," he smirked, eyeing his friend a bit as he complimented you.

"yeah, but maybe don't say that to my girlfriend, yeah?", interjected your stupid boyfriend, hand on your thigh as he attempted to show possession over you.

you ignored him, "oh, thanks hannie. you look really handsome too."

he puffed, as if out of breath, also ignoring cheol's comment, "no, but really. that dress is ... man, all i know is if i were seungcheol we wouldn't have even left the house tonight," the smirk wouldn't leave his face, knowing he was poking a bear.

those two simple comments were enough to get seungcheol to snap, loudly getting up and interrupting any other conversation going on at the table. without any other word, he completely ignored any questioning stares or inquiring comments and grabbed your hand, dragging you from your own chair and pulling you away from the room and into a more secluded area of the almost-empty restaurant.

"seungcheol what the hell are you doing?!"

he turned to you, now letting go of the hand he'd been pulling, "i told you not to wear that around them! do you think i enjoyed that?!"

"it's just jeonghan, cheol! he doesn't mean anything by it. he was just trying to tease you."

"i dont care about that! you're mine. you're not supposed to show yourself off like this to other men!" the fact he didn't see issue with what he was saying was peeving you off, making you scoff at him before he continued.

"you're mine, okay? and you responding to han's flirting is not helping me get that point across to them."

"you-"

"no, let me finish," he moved closer to you the more he spoke, eventually having you pinned against the wall of the restaurant, looking down on you, "i won't have any of them even think they have a chance with you. no one does. you're mine. is that understood?" by now his lips were just a hair away from your ear, heavy breath fanning against you as his hands slid onto your waist, pulling you against him, dick already semi-hard under his slacks.

you hated the way he was talking to you. kind of. an embarrassing part of yourself was keening on his possessiveness, enjoying how he felt as if he had to stake claim over you. as if even one look from another man had him having to show the world you were his and his alone.

when he unglued his lips from your ear and went back to staring down at you, eyes flicking down to your lips, neither of you could help yourselves anymore. you might've kissed him first, but it was probably him who crashed his lips into you first, almost swallowing you whole as he attacked you by shoving his tongue in your mouth.

he became intense with his movements pretty quickly, unbuttoning his pants with one hand while the other harshly felt you up. he disconnected his hand from you for a moment in order to pull down his pants and knead at his cock for a few moments, getting himself ready for you.

he disconnected your lips, chuckling at the way yours chased after his, "get on your knees."

with zero type of dignity, you got on your knees with no question, beginning to slide your hand up and down his dick before wrapping your mouth around his tip and sucking, giving him eyes as you did so.

he groaned at the sight, but quickly recovered, barking out a command for you to be a well-behaved girl and take it all in your mouth. you followed instruction pretty quickly, loving the weight of his cock in your mouth.

"that's it ... knew you could be a good girl after all."

"fuck ... that mouth is all mine, right baby? only for me to choke on my cock .."

"take it deeper, i know you can. trained that pretty mouth to take me."

his words were getting you wetter by the second, moaning mindlessly against his dick as he began to thrust into your mouth, groaning out even more expletives.

he suddenly pulled you away without allowing you to suck him into completion, once more slamming your back against the wall and shoving his tongue in your mouth. you both groaned at the feeling of his taste in your tongue, eventually making the kiss become a mess of wet tongues just licking at one another while he ground his hard dick against you.

you cried against him after a while of dry humping, feeling the heat of his cock so close to where you wanted him, but your mind being too empty for you to even beg for him to put it inside you.

he pulled away, "are you gonna be good and let me have that pretty pussy? my pretty pussy?"

all you could do was nod and whine against him as he pulled your panties aside, only having to lift your dress a tiny bit to give him room to enter your warm walls. you both sighed out in pleasure the moment he entered you, with cheol quickly finding a rhythm that had you throwing your head back against the wall, not caring for any pain you felt at the impact.

"you're mine. do you understand that? no one else can have you. can't even look at you. tell me you understand." he paused for a moment, smirking as he knew you had no way to respond with the pace in which he was slamming himself against you, "what? no answer? baby, what'd i tell you about being a good girl?" he was mocking you now, relishing on the effect he had on you.

"c-cheollie ... y-yours! just yours! won't ev-ever look their way again. pro- ah! promise!" you did the best you could to muster out an answer, being too high on pleasure from the way his cock was repeatedly hitting against you, impaling you completely.

your emotions were already very heightened, causing the two of you to be quick to reach your ends.

"gonna fill you up, okay baby? and you're gonna keep it all in, or else imma have to take you home and do it all over again, yeah?" he groaned out, knowing he was about to blow his load any second now.

"y-yes! fill me up, please!"

a few thrusts later and he was burying his head in the crook of your neck, groaning out at the feeling of your walls tightening against him as you came.

you attempted to catch your breath as seungcheol used his fingers to push in any cum that exited your hole, moving your panties back into place to try and retain the most he could. with no warning, he shoved those same fingers in your mouth, making you suck his essence from them as he groaned at the sight.

"c'mon," he gave you no time to catch your breath or recover before dragging you by the hand once more, walking back to the table to pick up your coats.

"i'm taking her home now. yoon jeonghan, i'll deal with you later," and with that he dragged you away, making no effort to hide your disheveled state as you limped behind him, beyond embarrassed all your friends knew what you and your boyfriend had been up to.

if cheol had wanted to make a public service announcement about how much you were his, he had achieved it.

[okiedokrie]

[17:19]

Summary: You reach a point in your relationship where you feel comfortable leaving a toothbrush at his place.

Characters/Pairing: FWB!Hong Jisoo (Joshua) x Reader

Genre: Suggestive

AU/Trope Info: Non-Idol!AU, FWB to ???, literally Toothbrush by DNCE

Word Count: 282

Warnings: None really, joshua implied to be naked at one point?

Rating: 18+

A/N: welcome to another episode of rie is obsessed with joshua hong, luv my American boy

The light shines through Joshua's sheer white bedroom curtains, washing his room in a warm glow as he slowly wakes up.

He sees you already getting dressed, fidgeting with the hem of your, well, his shirt, trying to smooth it out. "Oh, sorry, did I wake you?" You said, turning your body to face him as he sat up from bed.

He reached out to you, palms holding the back of your neck gently, "Come here," He said, leaning in to press a soft but deep kiss to your lips. You smile into the kiss, kissing him back and giggling.

"No, you didn't wake me up." He said after pulling away from you, smiling at you gently. "Where are you going? You know you don't need to rush out here all the time, I haven't gotten the chance to make you breakfast yet." He said, rubbing away the sleep from his eyes.

You blush, still holding onto his shoulders, "Uh, I want to brush my teeth." You said dumbly, he raised an eyebrow at you.

"Just get one in my bathroom? You're over so often that you could just have one at my place. You should bring some clothes over too, save a walk of shame or two."

"By the way, would you mind closing the bedroom door? I'm gonna get dressed." He called out, you nodded and smiled at him, closing the door before heading to his bathroom to brush your teeth.

You walk out into his kitchen to see him fully dressed, carefully stirring the pasta he decided to make for breakfast. He smiles at you, "Go ahead and help yourself to drinks from the fridge, breakfast is almost done."

[shumyungho]

YOU AS THEIR LOCKSCREENS - ot13

(fem reader)

warnings: mentions of food, dying (of cuteness)

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choi seungcheol - i feel like it's just a stolen of you working in your bedroom… like you invited him over to your apartment but you forgot that you have to submit this paper to your boss, he goes “oh, it's okay, baby. take your time. i’ll just lay in your bed.” and you work peacefully. seungcheol just decided to snap a picture of you, the ambient lights, and the angle of your bed to your desk, he just had to take a picture. he found it cute, your scrunched-up face, eyes dedicated to your screen. he had to set it as his wallpaper. after you’ve finished, you cuddle with him, sighing. then you peek over his phone which was disregarded upon your presence, it lit up with a photo of you typing. you smile and snuggle a bit closer to him.

rest of the members under the cut!

yoon jeonghan - he is a very very mischievous man. you guys went out to eat since it was a tradition of some sort to your relationship that you guys had to go out weekly. you guys went to some cute bakery down the street. as you got your food, you started ranting about your week– on how your co-worker was so annoying while munching on a piece of bread. jeonghan was listening– but also snickering. he pulled out his phone when you weren't looking, too caught up with your drama and the deliciousness of the bread you were eating, he took fast pictures of you, making sure you hadn't caught him, then slid his phone back to his pocket. on the way home, he made that one picture of you; mouth full of bread and your eyes rolling, his wallpaper. he snickers while you always furrow your brows and complain about his wallpaper every time he shows it to you.

hong jisoo - you guys were out, strolling around a park around your guys’ home. you brought your dog out since you’ve figured you haven't been letting her move around your area. you let her sniff everything that’s around her, with a leash on your hand just so she won't go anywhere. it's the autumn season, and the wind is cold, so joshua let you borrow his coat. your dog was walking slowly, inspecting everything around her, finding squirrels or cats to meddle around with. the breeze is calming, and your hair is easily swayed by the air. joshua was mesmerized by you, he loved moments like these where everything is so calm with you. he snapped a couple of pictures of you without you knowing, letting your dog in his camera too, snapping a lot. before going to his settings and setting you as his lock screen. now he smiles like an idiot every time his phone lights up with you and your dog.

wen junhui - he loved taking you out to fancy restaurants for special occasions. either it's your birthday, or his, or your guys' anniversary, or his “just because.” he loved seeing your outfits whenever he said that he reserved a table at this formal-sounding place you've never been to. him saying that “dress fancy.” even though both of your birthday’s just finished and your anniversary is in 3 months. you want to question him, but he doesn't like being questioned. so you just shake it off as you prepare your fancy clothes. you guys arrived at his reservation, got your food and ate, and conversed happily. of course, he liked taking pictures. so you guys take a couple of selfies while he's asking one of the waiters to take a picture of you two. he asked you to pose as you automatically held up a peace sign. him chuckling as he takes a photo. he finds it cute the following day, further setting it as his lock screen and home screen. just you smiling with the restaurant lights is enough to make him flustered.

kwon soonyoung - you guys were probably cuddling, enclosed in the safe surroundings of hoshi’s bedroom, just so comfortable. you were on top of him, reading a book with your elbows around his head while he scrolls through his social media feed or chatting with the guys, sometimes seeing something funny and tapping your shoulder to show you the post. you hum while laying back down again. it goes like that for a while, him giggling and you laughing a bit, too. the blanket covering you both up as you guys try to snuggle into each other more closely. he lifts his phone up, taking a picture of you and him with your book at the side of his head while you cover your face while smiling. he sets his phone down, having a plan to tickle you instead. after you guys finish and lay down again, he sets it as his lock screen, grinning so wide.

jeon wonwoo - you brought him to your apartment, planning to just watch some of the dramas you guys promised to finish today. snuggling on the couch while watching the tv. but then, he heard a meow. the thing is, he doesn't know that you had a cat, he just figured now. he looks at you for some confirmation, “oh, him? i just got him like two days ago, just brought you here just so i can show you.” you got up, him internally pouting because of your absence in his arms. you brought your fur baby to the couch, babying him with your tiny voice. and he could literally die just because of cuteness right now. he never pulled out his phone so quickly, taking a picture of your cat– and you… putting it as his home screen, then coming over to introduce himself to your cat. now, you have two cats.

lee jihoon - he brought you to his studio once, and you figured he’ll work quicker with your presence. and you were right. not only he gets your presence around him at all times, but also you get to sleep soundly on the couch in the room. or the seat next to him since you wanted to hear some of the beats your boyfriend produced. but sometimes, if he wasn't talking to you due to how he's focused on what he's doing, you can get a little bit sleepy. and sometimes you do sleep, setting your head down on the table next to him. he chuckles, snapping a quick photo of you before carrying you to his couch, careful to not wake you up. he found the photo of you dozed off so cute that he had to make it his lock screen.

lee seokmin - you brought him out on a beach, the weather was nice and you guys haven't gotten out in a while. also, him suggesting that you guys could have a picnic there you accepted happily. you laid out the cloth on the sand while he brought out the picnic basket containing all of your guys’ food. you guys ate, chatting and giggling. a few birds came up to you guys and you fed them your bread while seokmin tried scaring them away. you stopped him before the birds could claw at him. you were wearing his long-sleeved shirt above your swimwear, and he found you so attractive in it. you went out in the water while he stayed sat, taking a picture of you, a grin plastered on your face. he made it his lock screen before standing up and going to you.

kim mingyu - he loved making you stay in his apartment when it was too late in the night for you to go out. he decided that you could just go home tomorrow, instead. you found no problem with it and just shrugged while putting your bag down on his couch. then he realized that you guys haven't eaten since your lunch. him offering to cook for you. you ask him “what are you going to cook?” he stays silent for a second… “ramyeon…” he almost whispers. “sounds good.” you smile. you always loved his ramyeon, it's your favorite, second to your mother's, of course. he cooked a serving for two and gave you a bowl while you guys were sitting on the island. he got his phone out, telling you that he needs to take a picture of you. you smile sheepishly while holding up your chopsticks with noodles in your mouth. and he swears he could just stare at you forever at this moment. he takes countless photos, even from different angles, then sits down again and eats his lukewarm noodles. letting you watch him as he sets it as his lock and home screen. turning the phone off and conversing again with you.

xu minghao - you guys found this one art museum in your city that he hasn't been to yet, and he wanted to walk around and look at art with you. you dressed up and went there. he really liked your outfit since it matches the aesthetic of the whole museum. you guys look around, pointing at some of the pieces and saying what you noticed about it while observing it. while you were staring at the piece, your boyfriend figured that your outfit matched the painting. he stepped back a little, the phone he used to picture the artworks, now used to picture you. and the longer he stared at your picture, the more he loved it. he made it his home screen that night while snuggled up with you while looking at the artwork.

boo seungkwan - his family really wanted you to visit them after a year of being busy. and of course, when you and your boyfriend are available, the plan is immediately decided. your boss gave you a 3-day break while they just finished everything they needed to do. packing your bags for a one-night stay at your boyfriend's house. bonding with his family is sweet, it's like they're your own family. cooking together with his mom, and hanging out with his sisters. seungkwan just laid back as you make conversation with his sister. his dog, bookkeu was in your hands as you rub his belly. he was enamored enough to take a picture of you. his mother lightly slapped his shoulder saying “you’re so in love with her.” while chuckling. that statement was enough to make that photo of you and his dog his home screen.

chwe hansol - of course, you know that your boyfriend lives for music. it's his career, it's his everything. so whenever you guys are doing anything of some sort, he needed music to be there. snuggling? soft music on the speakers. cooking? he's playing jazz. even if you guys are just hanging out, it's always mandatory for him to have something to fill in the silence. if he doesn't wanna disturb you, headphones are always there. and of course, he makes you like music, too. it's his love language anyways. so when you were playing something on your phone, and he's scrolling through his feed, earphones that he shared plugged into your guys’ ears. he asked you if it was okay to take a photo since it's kinda cute, you gave him a go sign since you didn't mind. he pulled the camera between you guys, framing your ears and the earphones, not including your faces. he found it adorable and set it as his lock screen. continuing scrolling through his feed with a new wallpaper.

lee chan - he brought you to his practice room since he had to get something before you guys went out for your date. you’ve figured it’ll be cute if you guys matched clothes, and chan liked it. you just stood in the room with walls that are mirrors, looking at yourself while you patiently waited for chan to get what he needs. this is a cute place to get a mirror pic at. you thought and pulled your phone out. posing a bit and taking pictures. chan saw you and smiled, stopping for a bit and letting you finish. when you were done, you looked at him and signaled him to come where you were. you took pictures of you both, forcing him to pose with you. he asked you to send those photos to him. as you did, he made one his lock screen while saving the rest of them. after that, he pulled you to him and you start discussing your lunch plans.

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@shumyungho . reblogs are appreciated.

a/n wowwowowowow i dont wanna write anymore T_T