#that has been the phrase of the moment for me. its my reminder to really go for stuff instead of being afraid. let myself be genuine w it.

[polarisjisung]

LOVE ON THE COURT | 20 ... WITH BENEFITS??

SYNOPSIS | every college student has their struggles, but raising her younger brother has Y/N top of the list, struggling her way through college whilst balancing her academics and basketball captaincy is difficult no doubt and with Jaemin, her ex best friend and captain of the guys basketball team, and his growing one sided hatred towards her, it doesn't seem to be getting any easier

WARNINGS | swearing, sexual innuendos, kys/kms jokes, y/n has daddy issues for the sake of the plot

NOTES | I have no idea why this update took me so long to post I'm so sorry 😭 I don't like making chapters like this too sad (don't worry there's still gonna be some angsty chapters) but I don't want the written stuff on its own bcs that feels too espresso depresso or wtv the phrase is so this is a bit of a longer chap than usual.. anyways if ever you feel bad for y/n, don't worry you're gonna feel worse

19:21, dinner the night before

Y/n shuffles in her seat.

Jaemin greets her with a smile, and though she offers one back, that sinking feeling in her stomach doesn't seem to settle.

Suddenly now that she finds herself face to face with her once best friend, no menus in hand since they'd already given their orders, no way to avoid conversation for just a couple seconds longer, Y/n finds herself at a loss for words.

What was anyone supposed to say in this situation?

Sure a thank you would be ideal, considering Jaemin had somehow managed the impossible, but the words escaped her. Like they rested at the tip of her tongue but she lacked the drive to speak them.

It's not that y/n wasn't grateful, no, she wouldn't be here if she wasn't, in fact she didn't know what it was, what confused her so deeply that she sat there silently. Her thumbs twiddling against one another, as she stared down at the table in front of her.

There was a nagging whisper in her mind, one that cast shadows over her once clear thoughts, leaving her in that haze of uncertainty that she recognised all too well. Recently it was all she could feel around the captain.

Something about this situation in particular makes her palms sweaty and the hairs stand on her neck, every glance at Jaemin feeling like a shadow of what had once been, a reminder of how it had all been lost.

Even just sitting opposite Jaemin isn't simple.

Not at all.

It's like sitting across from a mirror that once reflected shared laughter and secrets, now distorted by fractures of lost trust and unspoken words. She supposed that was the thing about mirrors and shattering. No matter how hard you tried to glue the pieces back together, it would never quite be the same.

Perhaps that's why y/n is lousy in her attempts, grateful to Jaemin but unbothered to express it. The thought that no matter how desperately she hoped, this couldn't be restored. That there was no point in pouring energy into a friendship that would never be resolved.

"So" it's undoubtedly jaemin who breaks the silence, a soft tone to his voice, not quite as gentle as the other night but still warm "are you feeling better? like really okay?"

For a moment she wonders whether she'll break at the sound of his voice like she always had. Would she go back to that point in life where it was so easy to lie, so easy to say she was okay, so easy to pretend, in front of everyone else but never in front of him.

"I'm fine, honestly." She lies.

There's a shy sheepish smile that creeps across her lips and slightly accents her words

Jaemin hasn't seen much of her positivity be directed his way, and seeing this ignites the little hope in him that they could move on from this, from everything.

"You didn't have to work on it without me you know, it was just as much my project as it was yours and you putting in all the effort isn't fair on you."

"You did most of the preliminary stuff anyways, and I really didn't want to ask you because of the other night" Jaemin finally admits, though not willingly, his words extracted more so by her sharp stare and the cold atmosphere.

"Right..." Her attempts at changing the subject, clearly in vain— he really needed to stop asking about the other night. Y/n wasn't sure how much h longer she could hold back the tears, the looming feeling of inadequacy as a guardian still strong. She should have been more careful.

She knows its her turn to speak, opening her mouth to do so.

But again, y/n struggles.

The words play hide and seek in her mind, leaving her to grasp at empty. The atmosphere grows heavy with the weight of unspoken words. Her mind races, a jumble of what to say, thoughts of how easy conversation once was, how effortless it had been, all such a stark contrast to now.

Jaemin watches, a mix of intrigue and concern in his eyes as she contemplates in front of him, quiet but with an expression that spoke volumes.

The silence between them seems to bite louder than any conversation they once held, each dish in front, a reminder of the bitter aftertaste of a friendship turned cold.

"It's just Minjun and I" she breathes out, voice shaky, and Jaemin realises that those nervous cues in her slumped posture and shaking hands had never changed "It's just been the two of us for a while" she whispered. "That's why I was so scared"

Jaemin's hand hovers uncertainly beneath the table, unsure if the gesture would be welcomed or misunderstood, caught in the delicate balance of care and concern.

Admittedly, Jaemin catches himself slightly intrigued, still confused what could have lead to her practically perfectly family turning into this.

But he knows better than to let his curiosity get the best of him.

He wants to stop her, tell her that whatever it is that causes her brows to knit together and her pretty eyes to gloss over isn't something she needs to force herself to talk about, but he doesn't know how.

For a moment he's kicking himself under the table— how had he ever let go of the person who meant so much to him?

Even now, knowing everything she had done, he couldnt help but question why hadn't he tried to get past it then?

At the sight of her downcast features suddenly everything that he once despised her for seemed so trivial.

Jaemin sees himself, a younger, less mature version that stands on the court, hair matted to his forehead from the rain, a ball long forgotten somewhere behind him, cold, betrayed, and so painfully alone. Those burning tear stained cheeks, the harsh whistles of wind, the bitter feeling of failure still clinging to his skin, he remembers it all.

But every feeling he recalls so well, so vividly, is so easily dismissed when her eyes shine with a painful tint, red from the piercing tears that she holds in them.

"My dad" she cuts him off, gaze now avoidant as he grabbed her cold hands in his, "he walked out on us not long after ...whatever hapenned between you and me. He never came back, didn't answer a single call, not even a text, no form of communication except the papers he sent in the mail so I could become Junnie's legal guardian."

I missed you, she wanted to say. I needed you she'd liked to add.

"That's why it's just the two of us now" she said instead, trying to find more words to stop the tears from flowing, like her words were the only thing that could hold them back.

Back then, Y/n remembers vividly the feeling of wanting to fall, to sink, to drown but still somehow keeping her head above the surface to hold on and stay strong for her younger brother. She wondered if Jaemin had been there, would it have been easier? Would she have let herself fall, would she have someone to give her a hand, to pick her back up again and hold her hand through it all? Would things have ended differently?

"I'm sorry" his words weren't new, they weren't special, they were the same as what everybody else would say but the fact that they came from him, Na Jaemin who now stood by her side with his arms wrapped around her, was enough to dissolve the feeling of emptiness.

08:25 present time

Y/n looks over at Minjun, still deep in slumber, smiling before she steps out of the room.

There's way too many toys sprawled out across the living room floor, a blanket she finds herself folding as she subconsciously begins to clean up. Her eyes land on the kitchen counter, wondering what to make for breakfast. She was never particularly good at cooking, but she'd been learning for her brothers sake.

When she gets to the black jacket resting over the couch, it hits her. She catches sight of her puffy eyes in the mirror, and a hand runs through her hair hurriedly.

"Why the fuck did I tell him all of that" she let's out a frustrated sigh, running her hands across her face, "I'm supposed to hate him" she reminds herself, though her tone isn't convincing in the slightest.

"You don't hate him though" Heeseung's voice comes out muffled, the toothbrush between his lips making it difficult to understand his words.

He had been the one to stay over last night, her friends still taking turns to accompany Minjun and her every night since he'd walked out of the apartment, a gesture that made her heart swell. Although up until now she was pretty certain he was still asleep. Clearly not.

"I can't hate him" she sighs, falling back into the couch "is it bad I want to be friends with him again?" she asks, even though Heeseung had retreated to the bathroom to finish brushing his teeth.

Regardless he pokes his head out into the hallway, a sly smirk across his lips "with benefits?"

Y/n rolls her eyes.

He emerges again not long after, smiling from ear to ear "no y/n it's not bad if you want to be friends again" he takes a seat beside her "you can only fight your feelings for so long, let yourself be vulnerable, take the risk and try again" he says, hands resting on both his knees.

"and if you're feeling really risky, you can always—"

"shut up Heeseung" she smiles, lightly pushing against his arm "I guess it is worth a shot though"

"he's right next door anyways so sneaking around won't be hard at all"

"I meant being friends. Just friends." she stands up, walking over to the kitchen "you down for pancakes?"

He nods.

"You know it could be good though, he's hot, you're hot, there's enough tension to make things interesting and it ticks your not ready for a relationship box pretty well too"

Despite the pointed look the captain offers him, Heeseung doesn't let up, and secretly, she wouldn't have it any other way.

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[aeolianblues]

I'm not an extrovert. At all. In everyday life, I'm a yapper, sure, but I need someone to first assure me I am okay to yap, so I don't start conversations, even when I really want to join in sometimes! It's just the social anxiety acting up. God knows where from and why I lose a lot of my inhibitions when it comes to talking to people about music. I don't know where the confidence has suddenly sprung from. I've made a crazy amount of friends in musical circles, either just talking to people about common music or (since it is after all in music circles) talking to bands about their own music. I let out a sigh of relief any time an interaction goes well, because in truth it's going against my every instinct. I wish I could do that in everyday life

[ethereiling]

on one hand i truly believe that people's refusal to be sincere and vulnerable is one of the great failings of our culture and has led to a lot of varied problems but on the other hand if im genuine i will DIE

[ofswordsandpens]

Okay compiling my most critical opinions on the pjo show so far (episodes 1 & 2)

The Gods' Conflict, Foreshadowing, & Big Three Kids

The show has seemingly dropped a lot of the foreshadowing and threat regarding the gods impending war over the theft of the lightning bolt. In the book, Percy remarks about how the weather's been inexplicably weird and extreme. When he gets to camp everyone is on pins and needles about something and they don't want to talk about it but its still very present. By the time he's claimed as a son of Poseidon and everyone's like "oh fuck" and then Chiron finally explains to Percy that the gods think he's the lightning thief, everything clicks into place for the reader. It all makes sense why everything seems so wrong... because things are wrong. Meanwhile in the show, that doesn't carry through as much, so the reveal of the conflict between the gods and why that's a big deal falls flat in comparison imo.

They dropped/stalled the foreshadowing of the fates and the cutting of the string. They could very well include this in future episodes, and probably will, but I think the timing of it - Percy seeing this before he even knew he was a demigod - again carries some hefty significance and helped set the foreboding tone of things being wrong even from the beginning.

They did drop Zeus's attack on Percy in the minotaur battle completely, which does disappoint me. In the book, its lightning that blasts the car off the road. In the show, Sally seemingly loses control of the car. That change is pretty significant, because it's again losing the power of RR's foreshadowing in the book. The attack on Percy outside the camp borders was a duel attack from Zeus and Hades.

Finally, I don't like the changes they made to Percy's claiming scene, namely, the reaction from the rest of CHB. Percy being a son of Poseidon is a huge deal. When Percy's claimed, the attitude is very much begrudging reverence paired with genuine fear of what it means and what he represents. In the book, Percy is claimed. People gasp. Everyone kneels. Annabeth says, "This is really not good." In the show, Percy is claimed. People... stand there? Annabeth smiles - she's going to get her quest. The only person who has the most outright negative reaction is Luke. I won't go so far to say this is out of character for Annabeth, but it is focusing on an entirely different aspect of her character in the moment, and what the audience gets from Percy's claiming scene here, the tone, is now different from the book. Basically, the reverence and fear don't really carry across to the show, which I think is important.

The phrase "forbidden child" slaps tho.

2. Gabe's Characterization, Sally's Characterization, & Why the Changes do Make a Difference

I'm going to say this with great care: The show has absolutely depicted an abusive relationship between Sally and Gabe. The show has shown Sally to be a strong woman who would do anything for her child. The show has shown Gabe to be a controlling, toxic man.

What they have depicted in the show does not read like the characters and dynamic in the books.

Book Gabe is a violent, menacing drunk. He is so disgusting and vile that monsters avoid him. This is overwhelmingly apparent from the second Percy gets home in the book, even before he is aware of the physical abuse Sally has been facing. Percy has already been dealing with physical abuse from him, amongst other things (edit to be more specific: this is including verbal, emotional, & financial abuse). I've already spoke to it here, in-depth, so I'll try to keep it short but all of this has not been translated accurately to the screen. (Is this to say that a person must be overtly abusive to be abusive? No. But does this character on-screen feel like Smelly Gabe? No.) These things have shaped Percy (and Sally) in very specific ways. As others have mentioned: Percy cannot stand alcohol. He meets Dionysus and is reminded of his step-father. He gets to Tartarus and the air reminds him of Gabe.... The character on screen, while abusive, does not share this presence at all, and that makes a difference.

Edit: To emphasize once more, I am not saying that the show has not depicted a realistic portrayal of abuse. It has (verbal, emotional, & financial so far). It has also distinctly changed the tone and Gabe's presence from the book, to the extent that it no longer feels like the same character and that does have a rippling effect on the dynamics he shares with both Sally and Percy.

3. The Lack of Annabeth

Annabeth in the show is just like... really not as present as she is in the book so far, and I'm just kinda like, why lol?

Annabeth in the books is already way more involved in Percy's life. She was in the infirmary feeding Percy ambrosia after the attack (ulterior quest motives lol), she's the one who lead Percy around camp and re-explained godly parentage to him - and its a moment where she's very sincere with him, and even trying to help him! Instead these moments are given to Chiron and Luke, which I do get the merit of, but still, these were her moments!

Annabeth in the books had already surmised that the gods were fighting, something was stolen, and the something bad was going to happen, all before Percy had even been claimed. And she shared that with him! Again, the loss of foreshadowing and little bonding moments has me :(

I'm a little worried how they're going to deal with her crush on Luke because its pretty central to her character in the books! It helps Luke to manipulate her and also keeps her from admitting he's done something wrong. Also, it was very sweet and funny reading her get flustered - It drove home the point that she was just a kid with a crush that she didn't know how to handle. But in the show Luke spoke to her and I was expecting there to be some sort of reaction to it and there just... wasn't? (This is not something I'm laying at Leah's feet btw! Only the writers/directors!) We're only two episodes in tho so maybe we'll see it some more moving forward.

4. The Minotaur Battle

Again, I've already spoken about this in depth here but !!

The lack of Zeus's lightning strike, them all coming to a standstill and just chatting instead of running for their lives, Grover being awake and just sort of off to the side watching the fight, Sally being like "Promise Me Grover Swear it"... it all just doesn't ring right to me

I wanted more panic, more terror, more urgency. Higher stakes. I wanted Grover unconscious, I wanted to see Percy drag him into camp, and I wanted to see more of Percy's grief alongside his rage. Like the book did.

The pacing in the show here, and just overall, is weird

5. Other Stuff

Mrs. Dodds fight kind of fell flat too. It was honestly too sudden and Percy killing her in the show seemed even more accidental than in the book lol. Like, accidental impalement vs intentional swing of the sword.

They really had show Grover throw Percy to the wolves and not just gaslight him, but low-key have a part in getting him expelled? Not sure how I feel about it tbh.

More New York. I wish we had gotten the part of Percy taking the bus home with Grover included cause like? Him ditching Grover was funny, but it would have been the perfect opportunity to show Percy traveling through New York and establish it has his home. Shots of him looking at the city, walking the streets, interacting with people near his building.. yeah.

More Montauk too tbh. Like more shots of him and Sally on the beach rather than just the cabin.

Nectar and Ambrosia! Unless I missed it, which I might have, why have we still not gotten an onscreen depiction of it yet lmao.

[aihoshiino]

chapter 158 thoughts

i lied the hyperfixation took over and reanimated my body

Chapters Since The 143 Kiss Happened And Went Entirely Unacknowledged And Unaddressed Count: 15

Aqua Hoshigan Status: N/A

Usually when an OnK chapter ends on a bombshell like this one apparently does, I usually play a little coy as to my thoughts on it but I don't really see much point in doing that this time. This chapter basically is its final moment, with some swings taken at basically every other character on the way down so I don't see much point in separating it from the rest of the work. That said, my ultimate feelings on it will ultimately depend on how the story progresses past this moment so don't expect me to go too deeply into it for now. All I'll say at the top of the post is that I think this is deeply contrived and continues Akasaka's trend of seemingly beating every character with the dipshit stick in order to make a certain dramatic plot beat happen.

But it'll be pretty messy to follow if I get into the chapter's final scene right here and now, so let's rewind to the start and break down the rest of this chapter too. Don't worry, I have plenty of unpleasant things to say about it as well!!!!

Akane's here!! Actually in truth I had somehow forgotten that she'd cut her hair in the weeks since her last appearance so seeing her turn up with it so short kind of startled me for a second LOL

More AKKN yuribaiting… usually I eat up this kind of queerbait with a spoon because I am a simple creature but it doesn't really hit this time. I think it's because we're running through the Tokyo Blade arc in the anime right now and being reminded of how utterly electric their rivalry used to be makes the lack of meaningful follow-up and ultimate state of their relationship just kind of sad to me.

Seeing Akane and Ruby talking also feels kind of surreal given that it's almost 60 whole chapters since they've actually properly interacted onscreen… Like, obviously they were acting together in the Movie Arc and we can infer they had some offscreen chats then but… well, that's things we can infer, not something that's actually in the text of the story. Akane's involvement in the movie really was a total waste of potential, huh…

that said, wtf is akane even doing in miyazaki. girl who are you stalking this time.

Speaking of things that are weird, Ruby's hostile reaction to the idea of Akane getting a new boyfriend is… kind of bizarre, to the point where I literally have no idea where it's coming from?? Like, regardless of what this chapter tries to pretend, Ruby and Akane are absolutely not close enough for Ruby to feel upset at the prospect of Akane blowing her off in favour of boyfriend time. If anything, you'd think that having Aqua's ex-girlfriend definitively Out Of The Way would only be good on her eyes because it means one less obstacle between her and getting to shlonk her brother, but… apparently not???

The only way I can really make any sense of this is assuming this is the old and crusty "single girl getting jealous that her friend has a boyfriend at Christmas" joke, which I guess indirectly answers the question of whether or not anything AquRuby related has resolved in the Offscreen Dimension.

Anyway, Akane's chatter in this scene leads into something I've been kind of holding my tongue about in favour of waiting until it was addressed in the story and we're finally here - as previously predicted, this chapter starts on the note of attempting to assert that Ruby has 'become an idol who surpasses Ai' and you'll notice the way I phrased this because uh… no, she very much hasn't!

This idea of Ruby 'surpassing' Ai has been floating around in the story for a while now and as I've said before, unless OnK puts a huge amount of legwork into supporting that idea, I simply wouldn't believe it. It didn't, so I don't.

Not only is this assertion just half-heartedly plunked into the narrative - incredibly underwhelming for what should be a huge moment of triumph for Ruby - but the visual storytelling of the manga fails it as well. Like, compare this to similar moments from the very arc the anime is adapting this season - hell, in this very chapter, we see a panel of Kana's dazzling acting during Tokyo Blade. In comparison, the panels we see that supposedly show how Ruby has become an idol beyond compare… they just look like literally every other panel of any of the girls doing idol stuff. Hell, she looks distinctly less striking than some of Kana's performances as an idol and they certainly don't match or exceed the panels we've seen of Ai's spellbinding performances, which really undermines what the story is trying to say.

This is made even worse for the fact that the story has repeatedly pointed out that Ruby is the subject of incredible amounts of favoritism in the new B-Komachi - their boss is Literally Her Actual Mom who was explicitly called out by Ichigo for favoring work opportunities while leaving her fellow members out to dry. Members who, I feel the need to remind everyone, were scouted by her twin brother, not Ruby. Members whose careers as idols suffered during Ruby's clout chasing BH era because of her clout chasing and whose hurt feelings on this are framed as something Ruby is graciously forgiving about.

Like… I'm not saying it's impossible for Ruby to become an idol who outshines her mom, but this narrative as it's currently being presented in the manga falls flat for me because we never actually see Ruby face any kind of struggle on her road to doing this. Ai, Kana and Mem all face significant structural, social and industry-wide issues and toxicity that they must grapple with and overcome but Ruby just… does not?? Ever?? And given the way the narrative has framed Miyako's involvement in her career, the only conclusion I can draw is that Ruby is being shielded from all this by Miyako at the expense of the other girls. Especially because Ruby literally said so in 156!

Idk man. This whole chapter just sucks for basically every B-Komachi girl - that panel of the girls on stage where you literally can't even see Mem's face is so fucking miserable lmao. There was so much weight was placed on B-Komachi's togetherness as a trio of not just idols but friends who genuinely care for each other that seeing the story end up in this place of unironically indulging in all the same favoritism of Ruby and sidelining of her fellow members that Ichigo and Miyako did with the original B-Komachi is honestly just upsetting. Not only does it drag down Mem and Kana's stories, but it ends up making Ruby come off as a tremendously self-centered person in a way the narrative clearly does not understand and is uninterested in unpacking.

And like… bro, I don't want to be pissed off at Ruby!! Pre-BH Ruby is one of my favourite characters in the series!!! But the way she's been coddled by the narrative is deeply frustrating to read! It's frustrating to see everyone else's arcs compromised in favor of forcing this bizarre narrative about Ruby that doesn't even do any good for her either.

I can so easily see a better version of this story where Ruby surpasses Ai because she has so much support and faces none of the obstacles that Ai did, where the story is making a point of just how much further Ai could have gone and how much more she could've done if she hadn't been treated like such utter shit by everyone around her. But the point the story settles on seems to just be that Ruby is a better idol than Ai because she arbitrarily is not affected by societal and systemic oppression for no clearly articulated reason, I guess! You go, girl!

huffs. anyway.

Ruby's little monologue about the short-lived life of an idol also feels like the final nail in the coffin for the story being able to even pretend to do any meaningful industry commentary. Compared to how biting it was in the early arcs, it's a pretty standout representation with OnK's bizarre relationship with idol culture as of late, especially as pertains to Ruby's place in it. I can sort of get what I think Akasaka is going for here - it's part of the theme the story is leaning into lately of letting go of your past and moving towards a brighter future and this is how Ruby is coping with Kana's time in B-Komachi coming to an end. The point being made here is that change is inevitable no matter how you try to hold onto things and the only way to freeze yourself in stasis forever is to die.

But having this framed through the lens of Ruby talking so warmly about the impermanence of idols is just kind of… hello?? Ruby's framing here almost seems to treat the issue as some beautifully tragic but inevitable thing… and is very much is not! Idols age out of the industry because of its obsession with youth and beauty and the fetishization and commodification of virginial purity. Seeing Ruby frame it as this sad but natural thing when these fucked up purity standards literally killed her mom is just. What is going on here.

Speaking of baffling! Nino my girl, what are they doing to you…

I mentioned this in my chapter 155 thoughts that I felt extremely cold about the way the story was choosing to characterize Nino in the actual pages of the manga. I won't repeat myself too much but compared to the messed up but deeply human character we saw in 45510 and the RBKN conflict, this Nino honestly feels like a mean-spirited caricature, amped up to such dramatic extremes that she stops being a person and instead becomes a flat cartoon character used for moving the plot along. I loved Nino in 45510 and the Movie Arc so seeing her reduced to this psycho lesbian stereotype really stings.

also wtf is the manga trying to say with the 'since we killed ryosuke' bit. that was a whole ass suicide. this manga gives me such a headache sometimes.

Anyway. I can't talk around it anymore so. RIP Ruby, I guess. It was nice knowing you, but-

no but seriously, I'm holding my tongue on anything to do with this twist until next chapter because my actual thoughts will depend on how it plays out or if this is even really happening at all - which is NOT something i would even entertain as a possibility if oshi no ko was not the manga it currently is lol

But there's also the fact that, as others have pointed out, that panel of the stab is presented with faded colours and overly dramatic lighting in a way that is consistent with how OnK sometimes presents flashbacks or otherwise unreal visualizations. Given how incredibly dumb the entire cast - including Ruby - would have to be for this to actually, really happen, I'm withholding judgement until I see how this pans out.

That said. Man. I was really taken aback by how not just underwhelming but outright Not Good the actual panel of the stab is. The attempt to mine an emotional reaction out of the pre-existing iconic panel of Ai's murder just falls entirely flat because this version of it is worse in just about every regard. Ai's panel is composed beautifully, with the white petals and the motion of her body perfectly drawing the viewer's eye to the knife and the uncharacteristic expression of total shock on her face really hammers home the 'oh shit' moment. By contrast, Ruby's panel is flat with oceans of dead space despite being a much smaller panel and the actual stab has no weight to it, visually or otherwise. Ruby's body and face aren't reacting to it in the least - her expression is totally lifeless and she just looks like she's mid-stride, not that someone's just stabbed her in the gut. And to add insult to injury, the fucking layering on the killer's hand isn't even right. It's so obvious these two characters were drawn totally separately and pasted together afterwards and the entire moment falls flat as a result. Mengo, girl, what happened here!!!

and to add insult to injury. break next week. because why woudn't it be.

any of yall got ibuprofen

[melintowriting]

The first Empress- Chapter 1

Hello everyone! I finally finished writing the first chapter. Again, English is not my first language so I'm sorry if there are some mistakes. For the ones who don’t know the plot I'll create a master list so that everyone can read it. Hope you guys will like it!

Warnings: arranged marriage, mentions of blood and death

Word count: 2.319

ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE

Kaitain, 10191

It was a wonderful day on Kaitain: the sun was high in the sky, the gardens smelled of spring and the water that gushed from the fountains seemed almost to shine, as if it was full of many small diamonds.

Her eyes observed the surroundings in the shadow of a large secular tree, attentive and sharp. Nothing could escape her gaze.

She observed a dragonfly just resting on the arm of a statue, then a small insect intent on creeping between the stones that made up the outside wall of the garden, and only finally on the figure that was approaching her in the distance.

Her stomach was gripped by the deep hatred that had been poisoning her for a long time. It was Irulan.

"I thought I made it pretty clear this morning that I wanted to be left alone."

Her voice sounded calm and stoic, in contrast with the burning anger that was eating up her stomach. She had learned that imperturbable impassibility from her mother: it was fundamental to survive in that world. She had understood it at her expense.

Irulan remained silent until she was close enough to see her step sister sitting under the big tree.

She was ready, everyone was at the palace. Soon the Harkonnen would have arrived and the alliance would be created.

"You chose a beautiful dress, sister." commented the eldest, sitting next to Megan.

Megan gave her a brief glance sideways before returning to observe the garden: "Is it a compliment or a pretext to mock me? And do I need to remind you that we’re not sisters?"

Despite the hatred that had been running between them for months, something broke in the heart of Irulan when she heard the words of her half-sister. She was right, they weren’t sisters, but Irulan had grown up believing that her and Jeremy were actually her siblings.

"Don’t pretend my words hurt you. After the pain you have caused to me, to my brother and to my mother, I don’t care about your emotions anymore."

A stab was that phrase, for the heart of the older sister; a stab that awakened in her an old, but not too old, guilt.

She was grateful to the guards who appeared in front of them for not giving Megan time to rage further: she knew she would have done so with immense pleasure.

"Princess Megan, the Harkonnen spacecraft has entered the atmosphere, it’s time to go," they announced.

Irulan was immensely surprised by her half-sister’s lack of hesitation in getting up and walking towards the palace, escorted by soldiers. Was she really not afraid? 

Was she really not afraid of being betrothed to Feyd Rautha?

******

The Emperor was sitting on the throne, impatiently waiting.

The room was filled with an icy silence. 

"Why is it taking so long?" he complained to Irulan, his beloved and only real daughter, standing by his side.

"I have no idea, Father." she admitted, "Maybe..."

She did not have time to finish: the huge door of the hall was opening and the Harkonnen guards were entering the palace.

The Baron floated towards the throne, kneeling before it.

Irulan paid little attention to the pleasantries between the Baron and her father, intrigued as she was by her sister’s betrothed.

Feyd Rautha towered behind his uncle, his face almost deformed by a small grin on his lips. Like a shark hunting for its prey, he watched with icy eyes the imperial family, in search of his future wife. There was no emotion in his eyes.

Everyone knew he was crazy.

For a moment she felt great sorrow for Megan. 

"Baron, Na-Baron, this is my second daughter, Megan."

As soon as the bride-to-be of the Na-Baron entered the room, everyone’s eyes fell on her, like iron attracted by a magnet. She walked in with her head held high and a posture that emanated confidence.

Actually, Megan’s confidence was a distraction from her emotions. She could feel something moving in her stomach.

Fear, perhaps? No, it was not fear, it was impatience. 

Everything was already written.

According to the Bene Gesserit plan she had been promised to Feyd since she was born, and Monique, her mother and member of the sisterhood, had made it happen.

Monique was the Emperor’s second wife. Upon the death of Irulan’s mother, Shaddam Corrino IV and Duke Leto Atreides' sister got married.

The Emperor, to ensure the continuity of the throne, wanted a son, a son that Monique, as Bene Gesserit, should have been obliged to give him. But she had met Silgasq, a Fremen imperial planetologist who was visiting the Emperor’s court to update him on new discoveries related to the Spice. 

There had been numerous rumors about Megan and her twin brother Jeremy, about their hair and eyes being too dark, about their suspicious features and especially about the absolute lack of resemblance to the Emperor.

Silgasq stayed at the Corrino’s court for some years, officially to continue his studies, secretly to stay with the woman he had fallen in love with and with the children he had conceived with her. The twins had never been unaware of the truth, they had grown up knowing they were not Corrino, with the absolute prohibition of their mother to reveal the truth to a living soul. It was Irulan who ruined everything. She had loved the twins with her whole being, as if they had really been her siblings, but as soon as she learned the truth thanks to her Bene Gesserit training, hurt by acknowledging that she had always believed a lie, she did not hesitate to report everything to her father. 

She had betrayed them. They had to watch as the Sardaukars killed their real father before their eyes. Only one thing was certain: they would have avenged him. With blood and fire they would have made justice for their father. They had sworn it to their mother.

The reason Megan was only waiting to get away from the Emperor was simple: she wanted to plot her revenge, away from prying eyes. She did not fear the idea of marrying Feyd Rautha; she had the necessary tools to deal with him, tools that her mother had provided her. She had taught her how to seduce, manipulate, attract. And then, the main and most powerful power, of which she was born already endowed: the Voice.

She stopped as soon as she came before the young Na-Baron Harkonnen, bowing slightly as per protocol. Feyd did the same, impatiently waiting for her to look up. The grin was still printed on his lips but no longer with the same intensity as before. It was just a distraction to keep the impatience that was eating him from getting out.

"It’s an honor to meet you, my betrothed."

The girl’s voice delighted Feyd’s ears.

"The pleasure is mine, princess."

Nothing genuine, spontaneous or natural: it was the protocol to which both had been meticulously trained. Yet there was something more.

Even Irulan, from the top of his father’s throne, was able to see him.

The way they looked at each other for the first time was definitely not protocol.

"Baron Vladimir Harkonnen." said the Emperor, standing up, "I offer to your nephew my daughter’s hand, thus sealing an alliance between our Houses."

The Baron tried not to grin with joy: now he really had the power in hand.

"My Emperor, I accept the great honor you are bestowing upon my House." answered the Baron promptly, bowing, "May the one between your daughter and my nephew be a strong and lasting union."

While all the attention of the room had shifted to the two powerful men intent on establishing the details of the wedding, only Irulan’s attentive eyes were still fixed on her step sister and Feyd.

She was the only one who noticed how they smiled slightly before looking down.

******

A few hours later

That night the celebrations were extraordinary.

The halls of the royal palace were filled with nobles from all over the empire, the fireworks had shone in the sky, the banquet had been sumptuous.

The Emperor was happy.

Happy to finally get rid of his illegitimate daughter, condemning her to marry a cruel man. She would have spent the rest of her life on Giedi Prime, away from the imperial court and from him, under the tyranny of Baron Harkonnen.

Megan’s wish was only one: to be able to take her twin Jeremy with her. The Emperor had agreed. It meant getting rid of both. Those twins were the result of adultery and brought only disgrace on House Corrino. He was delighted at the idea of snatching them away from Monique. She had dared to deceive him, betray him, and she was finally going to receive her punishment.

As soon as dinner was over Megan turned to her twin, sitting next to her, and whispered that she needed some fresh air. Jeremy knew right away why. He understood his sister better than anyone else: she felt overwhelmed by emotions and celebrations, she needed a moment to herself. He telepathically understood and nodded.

Megan snuck away, sure that no one had seen her. She was wrong.

Feyd’s sharp eyes had immediately intercepted her.

After their first meeting a few hours earlier they had not had a chance to speak again and properly.

Feyd seized the opportunity: he got up from the table and left the room without much explanation.

In front of him stood a long corridor that ended in a large balcony overlooking the countryside. Kaitain was a green, prosperous planet, completely different from Giedi Prime which was polluted, harsh and dark.

Feyd could see her even from so far away: Megan was facing the balcony, her long dark hair was falling down her back and her pretty dress was making her pleasant figure justice.

He followed the trail of perfume that the girl’s passage had left in the corridor and reached her.

His stride was almost impossible to hear, to the point that Megan only noticed his presence when he spoke to her.

"I saw you leaving the room, princess. Aren’t the celebrations for our union to your liking?"

His was not only a question but also a veiled provocation. How would she react? Was she going to apologize, mortified and embarrassed? Or she was going to avoid the question? He wanted to test her. Testing people was his favorite hobby of all time.

Megan almost winced. It was the voice of her betrothed, hoarse and deep. The girl reassembled herself before turning around.

"I’m not a party person. It has nothing to do with you or our union, my lord."

The princess’s tone seemed almost apologetic but also firm, as if she was apologizing without being really sorry.

Feyd slightly grinned. Her answer pleased him.

"Neither am I. I find parties stupid and useless. I prefer to spend my time differently." 

Megan took the opportunity to observe him closely. His charm was undeniable. -If I must marry him, I am glad that he is at least aesthetically to my liking- the princess thought. She wondered if she would also have liked him as a person. She knew very well what people said about him: that he was psychotic, crazy, violent and cruel. But honestly, was he so different from others? The Emperor, for example, was reputed to be a righteous man, but instead he was a murderer and a coward. Her betrothed, at least, was himself without hiding. 

"And how do you like to spend your time, Na-Baron?"

Feyd was just waiting for that question.

"Fighting in the arena. I really feel myself only when I’m holding a blade." 

The young Na-Baron carefully studied the reaction of his future wife, looking for signs of fear, dismay. He was aware of what people said about him and he liked it. He loved when people feared him.

It wasn’t Megan’s case, though. To his great surprise the princess was not at all upset by his answer and even replied, "I’ve heard a lot about your great fighting skills. I look forward to see one of your fights in the arena."

Feyd tilted his head, not letting his astonishment leak out.

"People die in that arena." he reminded her with a smug grin. Talking about death excited him. A woman could have never borne the sight of the fights, he was sure. 

The princess’s tone remained unabashed: "I know. I am not afraid of death."

-No longer after I saw my father being killed before my eyes- she would have liked to add, but she did not. She couldn’t jeopardize her position like that.

-She’s smart- Feyd thought without stopping smiling provocatively -and if she’s lying she’s doing it well. -

"My twin brother also loves to fight. I’m used to blood and wounds." she added, seeing him slightly amazed.

Feyd smiled even more as a strange light shone in his blue eyes.

Not only was he used to blood but he also loved it. The idea of a wife not easily impressionable generated in him dark and dirty desires. Having to wait irritated him: after that brief talk he wanted to make her his without hesitation.

"My uncle told me that your brother will come with you to Giedi Prime. I will gladly fight with him. Amicably, of course."

The grin on his lips was not very reassuring but Megan decided not to pay too much attention to it.

"I think we should go back, my lord." said the girl, looking at the hall door in the distance "They’ll all be wondering where we are."

Feyd nodded without taking his eyes off her. 

"Let’s go, princess."

He held out his hand to escort her and finally added, "And call me Feyd."

Megan took the hand of her betrothed without hesitation, quietly considering his request.

"As you wish, Feyd."

Tag list

@mamawiggers1980 @avidreader73 @pomtherine

[subtly-a-selkie]

OMG IM SO NERVOUS KDJSB

but like imagine hiro with an s/o who loves to collect random stuff or like picks up rocks and gives them to hiro and is like “here this rock reminded me of you” ODMSJSHHA

i absolutely adore this ask! it might just be because i do the same thing but i’m really excited to write it. I’m so so so sorry for the delay, i had surgery in july and have been recovering since then, plus the Anniversary was last month. (yes that's a long time but please cut me some slack I have been doing my best) anyways i hope you like it! because its been so long since i started it, i wrote it a little differently than usual. it's like a little collection of moments.

also! not only do I now have an ao3, but i also have a taglist! both are linked in my navigation.

Word count: A little over 1k :)

Warnings: Big Hero Six: The Series lore thrown in (Bessie is a meteorite bear, yes it is as weird as it sounds). We are going to pretend I payed for my own matcha ice cream and know how much it was. San Fransokyo cable cars are officially Not That Expensive because I said so. i apparently really like the word intertwine

"I'm back!" You exclaim, sitting down on Hiro's bed to look at him. He was still in the same position as when you had left, staring blankly at his computer screen, he had been trying to fix something on Baymax's suit and you could tell by his slumped posture he hadn't succeeded yet. He brightens up at your voice, and rolls his chair around to face you.

"How was your adventure into the woods?" He asks, pressing the save button on his document.

"Your phrasing makes it sound like there was a seventy percent chance that I would have dropped dead as soon as I heard a bird that isn't a pigeon."

"There's moose, mosquitos, and Bessie in those woods Y/N. I'd say eighty."

"Bessie likes me Hiro. Because I appreciate nature while you would rather wither away staring at a screen."

"Bessie doesn't like anyone. She's a bear."

"A bear that likes me." You retort, laughing at his expression. "Oh! I got you something!" You rummage in your bag and pull out a rock. "Its shaped like Mochi!" 

"So a round rock." Hiro says and you gasp, cupping your hands around Mochi's ears, who had taken up residence on your lap almost as soon as you had sat down on the bed.

"Don't listen to him Mochi you are perfectly cat shaped." You coo at the cat who meows smugly in response.

Hiro takes the rock from where it lay on the bed, you had abandoned it in favor of the real Mochi, turning it over in his hands. You're right, he admits to himself, it does look uncannily like Mochi, even having discoloration where he has his patches. He moves his gaze to you and smiles, setting rock Mochi down on his desk. 

"You know that ice cream place you've been wanting to go to? The one with matcha ice cream?" 

You lift your head from your fussing over Mochi at his voice and smile back at him. "Yeah?"

He responds by standing up and pulling a ten dollar bill out of his pant pocket, then intertwining your fingers and pulling you up off the bed. 

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

"Hi." You say intertwining your arms around Hiro's shoulders. He's sitting in his chair playing video games with Fred, and you're leaning against the back of the chair.

"Hi." He replies, as you rest your head where his neck meets his shoulder. You stay like that for a bit until his character dies and he disconnects the call, much to Freds chagrin if the whining from Hiro's speakers is anything to go by. He then spins his chair around so you are face to face.

"Hi." He repeats watching as your face brightens in remembrance.

"Oh! I have something for you." You pull a dark feather out of your pocket, smoothing it out before handing it to him. "It reminded me of you." 

"A feather reminded you of me?" He says  as he turns over in his hands.

"Yeah! It's the exact color of your hair."

"I don't think my hair is this pretty in the light though." He's twisting the feather through a sun beam, watching as the hidden iridescent colors are showcased. He turns suddenly, and places it with the Mochi rock, a patterned paper crane, and a few other items.

He turns back to you and opens his arms, you accept the offer for a hug almost immediately, resting your head back on where his neck meets his shoulder.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

Your hands rake through the smooth quartz, and you turn a couple over in your hand before moving on to a different plastic box of crystals. You stop when you've chosen one and risk a glance over at Hiro. He is looking at the things you had handed him, the things that you picked out for yourself, this particular crystal is for him though, and you have to somehow pay for it without him noticing. Curling your hand into a fist to hide it, you tug on Hiro's jacket.

"I've found everything I need." You say smiling at him, he nods and leads the way to the cashier, placing your things on the counter, and reaching for his wallet. 

"You paid for the food, I can pay for my things." He pauses.

"You sure?" 

"Yeah." You wait until he's looking at what they have set up next to the counter to add the crystal to your other things, making eye contact with the cashier and then flicking your eyes over to your boyfriend. She seems to have caught your message, and wraps the crystal in tissue paper, along with a couple of the more delicate items.

"Would you like a bag?" She asks

"Yes please." You take the bag from her and intertwine your fingers with Hiro's, leading the both of you out of the shop and onto the streets of San Fransokyo.

"Where should we go next?" He asks you, bringing you closer to him by tugging on your hand, then lifting your joined hands and pressing a kiss to the back of yours. 

"Hm." Your eyes scan the street you and Hiro are on, and your eyes light up at a banner that showcases the aquariums deep sea exhibit. You gasp, and turn to look at Hiro.

"You want to go the the aquarium?" He asks before you can say anything, and you nod enthusiastically. Luckily there's a cable car stop just up ahead, and you both sit on the bench as you wait. Hiro takes a drink of his water and you dig around in your bag to find his gift.

"I have something for you." You say. Hiro finishes zipping up his backpack and turns to look at  you. You hand him the wrapped crystal and he unwraps it, turning the smooth rock over in his palm, and reading the little card that came with it.

"Did you get this at the shop we were just at?" He asks, a slight laugh to his tone.

"Yes." You grin at him and more of a laugh makes its way into his voice.

"I love it." He slips it into one of his backpack pockets and intertwines your fingers once more, resting his head on yours.

People tagged <3

@oyasumimosura your hiro fic is on my list but here's something in the meantime

[laxmiree]

[CN] MLQC’s Lucien Wonderful Moments Date English Translation

⚠️ SPOILER ALERT!! ⚠️

This post contains a detailed spoiler for a date that has not been released in EN yet! Feel free to notify me if there are any mistakes in the translation~

Lucien boops Snowball's nose, his tone hinting at jealousy.

"You've been praising this little guy a lot."

"Pfft, is Professor Lucien jealous?"

Translation under the cut!

[Notes from Lux: Here’s the CN video link if anyone wants to follow along with his Voice Acting.]

A car moves slowly on the vibrant countryside road, joyful laughter spilling out of its windows from time to time.

Lucien casually rests his hand on the steering wheel, looking ahead, and quickly comes up with a Chinese idiom.

Lucien: The victory is in the bag. (shèng quàn zài wò)

MC: Idiom with wò… crouching tigers and hidden dragons! (wò hǔ cáng lóng! - 卧虎藏龙 - fig. mean talented individuals hiding their talent)

Lucien: Just a reminder to this beautiful contestant, this phrase was already said during our first round of the idiom chain game.

MC: Then, how about… I control my destiny! (wǒ mìng yóu wǒ - 我命由我- a phrase, not an idiom)

Lucien: [chuckles] That doesn't seem to be an idiom. Is Miss Producer starting to cheat?

Lucien tilts his head and looks at me with a smile. I sheepishly stick out my tongue, wracking my brain as I search through my vocabulary.

The gentle spring breeze seeps through the gaps of the car window. Looking at those cunning eyes, I have a sudden inspiration and break into a sweet smile.

MC: I like you~ (wǒ xǐhuān nǐ~)

Lucien's demeanor briefly halts for half a beat as though he doesn't expect my answer. But then, the smile on his lips grows bigger.

The warm afternoon sunshine reflects brightly in his upturned eyes, making them look particularly beautiful.

Lucien: [chuckles, then sighs] This is the most sophisticated cheating I've ever seen, so I concede defeat.

I cheer joyfully, but before I can utter a word, an electronic broadcast interrupts me.

"Distance to the next highway toll booth is 1.5 kilometers ahead.”

I glance at the phone screen and see it shows another hour and a half to the camping village.

Lucien suggested this camping trip to an ecologically pristine village with beautiful scenery, though the only downside is that the journey was a bit long.

I turn to look at Lucien, who appears to be in a good mood, and can't resist asking the small question that's been lingering on my mind.

MC: Lucien, what made you suddenly want to take me to this camping village?

Lucien: It was recommended by a colleague from the research center. I heard the scenery there is nice and worth a visit.

Lucien: I originally wanted to find an opportunity to spend time with you, and just last weekend we went to see a play, which gave me a very legitimate reason to invite you on a date—

Lucien: To create “beautiful moments”.

He deliberately emphasizes the words "beautiful moments", causing me to momentary pause as a recent memory quickly floods into my mind.

—[Flashback Start]—

At the entrance of the theater last weekend.

Lucien and I walked out of the theater hand in hand. I was still sniffling, lost in the storyline of the performance we just watched, unwilling to let it go.

Just as I was about to wipe away the tears at the corner of my eye, a warm hand handed me a tissue and gently dabbed it beneath my eyes.

Lucien: [gently] If this little audience member keeps crying, I'll have to go find the production team for an explanation.

MC: I'm just really moved by the play...

MC: At first, when I saw the protagonist growing up under the shadow of his mother's depression, I thought he would fall into despair.

MC: But he was able to diligently record the beautiful moments in life and ultimately salvaged himself...

MC: I just tried to put myself in his shoes, and it's really hard to be as optimistic as the protagonist, so I couldn't stop my tears.

Under Lucien's gentle gaze, I rambled on and on, completing my "review" of the play. He patiently wiped the corners of my eyes and offered a comforting smile.

Lucien: I actually think the lady by my side also has a pair of eyes that can discover the beauty of life everywhere.

His sincere praise caught me off guard, and I couldn't help but feel a little buoyed by it. My heart, which had been saddened by the protagonist's struggles, also eased a bit.

MC: If I had a "Book of Beautiful Moments," the first thing I would record is how Professor Lucien always generously praises me~

Lucien chuckled softly, and the strands of hair hanging over his forehead swayed gently in front of his thick lashes.

Lucien: [chuckles] I'm just stating facts. She shares the beauty of the sky with me and finds satisfaction in good weather...

Lucien: —Isn't that kind of you very much like the protagonist?

MC: Then next time I discover something beautiful, I'll make sure to record it promptly.

MC: Let's see if I can fill several volumes of "Wonderful Moments" just like the protagonist!

—[Flashback Ends]—

I casually remarked and thought it was nothing but a joke, yet Lucien silently remembered it in his heart. I come to my senses and blink.

MC: So, the reason you suddenly decided to take me out to play is to create more wonderful moments in my life?

Lucien: I wonder if it's because I'm not "competent" enough that you don't have much to record, so I deliberately created this opportunity.

Lucien: Of course, it's also to show myself off a bit.

He adopts a tone of pretended grievance that stirs a feeling of itchiness in my heart, I suppress the curve of my lips, nodding in mock annoyance.

MC: Well, in light of your "timely remedy," I'll reluctantly start recording officially!

✂———————–

MC: ...Lucien takes me camping;

MC: Before we set off, Lucien made me a cup of hot chocolate.

MC: While playing the idiom chain game, Lucien deliberately went easy on me...

As I speak, I open the Notes app on my phone and mutter to myself, recording a dozen or so entries. But as I continue to write, I suddenly feel something is amiss.

MC: Wait a minute, why do all these "wonderful moments" have Professor Lucien's shadow? I'm starting to suspect that I have a “love-brain”*...

[T/N: "恋爱脑" (love brain) is a Chinese internet buzzword that refers to a mindset that puts love first above everything. It refers to individuals who are deeply in love and often become consumed by their emotions, making it difficult for them to think about anything else. This phenomenon is characterized by extreme devotion to their lover, often leading to uncontrollable emotional dependence and intense desires to be with the other person... If anything, from the way Lucien takes her casual remarks seriously and uses them as a reason to hang out with her, this word describes Lucien more LOL]

Lucien: [with a pretending-don’t-to-know-anything tone] Oh, really?

Lucien is amused by my muttering, and a hint of sly self-satisfaction shines in his long and narrow eyes.

Lucien: [chuckles] It seems the Great Producer has already fallen into my sweet trap.

Lucien: Because my goal is to dominate your today's "wonderful moments" list through this trip.

MC: Hmph, then I won't let you succeed. Right now, I'm going to come up with something completely unrelated to you.

As I speak, I catch a glimpse of a white shadow flashing in front of the car. But before I can react, Lucien has already hit the brakes.

[Sounds of the car suddenly braking]

Almost simultaneously, a strong arm instinctively protects me in front of my chest.

Lucien: ...Are you okay?

He removes his sunglasses and swiftly scans me with his gaze as if confirming whether I'm injured.

I stare blankly ahead. After a moment of daze, there's no movement in front of the car, and my heart leaps into my throat.

MC: I, I'm okay...

MC: Lu, Lucien... Did something just rush onto the road?

Lucien: I'll go down and take a look first. Stay in the car and don't move.

He smooths out my disheveled bangs and then gets out of the car after turning on the hazard lights.

Through the windshield, I see him quickly walk to the front of the car. His gaze instantly shifts downward, as if he's spotted something, and he crouches down.

Did we really hit something?

Just as I nervously stretch my neck and am about to get out of the car to take a look, Lucien suddenly stands up, cradling a bundle of white fluff in his arms.

MC: Eh?

I take a closer look and can't help but exclaim in delight—

It's an adorable little Pomeranian!

Under my expectant gaze, Lucien quickly gets back into the car with the little Pomeranian in his arms, then raises the pup's paw and waves it at me.

MC: Hello there, cutie! How did you end up on the road?

Lucien: This little fellow must have gotten lost. I didn't see anyone else outside the car.

I follow Lucien's gaze out the window. The road is very quiet, there's no sign of anyone around.

MC: Is it injured?

Lucien: It wasn't hit just now. When I got out to check, it was still some distance from the front of the car. It's probably just a little startled.

As if understanding, the Pomeranian snuggles its face into Lucien's palm coquettishly. Its dewy eyes shift between Lucien and me, softening my heart.

I tentatively reach out my hand towards its nose, intending to let it get accustomed to my scent before attempting to pet its little head.

However, as soon as I reach out my hand, the little fellow enthusiastically licks my fingers. In the next moment, it leaps over the center console and goes straight into my arms.

MC: Wow, what a good little doggy!

MC: And it looks very clean, not like a stray dog... Could it be lost?

Lucien leans in and turns the collar of the small Pomeranian, discovering a small round tag. On it, it reads "Snowball*" and a string of numbers.

[T/N: the pet name, "雪糕" (xuě gāo), actually means "ice cream bar/popsicle"  LOL. I take some liberty in translating the pup name because “雪” (xuě) word alone means “snow” (while “糕” (gao) means cake). Imagine that this fluffy white bundle looks like a snowball so I give the pup that name :D]

MC: "Snowball"? Is that its name?

Lucien: Mm, below should be the owner's phone number. Let me try contacting them. Maybe the owner hasn't gone far.

Lucien takes out his phone as he speaks and quickly gets connected. After briefly explaining the situation, a wave of gratitude comes from the other end of the line.

??: Thank you so much! I stopped at the service area for a break and took the pup out of the car for a walk. I forgot to bring it back into the car.

??: I've already turned back onto the highway. I'll be there in about forty minutes!

??: Will it delay you?

Lucien doesn't respond, he just looks up at me and gestures with his eyes, as if asking for my opinion. I quickly nod in agreement.

[asking for opinion from the family leader.jpg]

Lucien: No, it won't. Then let's meet at the nearest gas station to the toll booth on the highway.

After a brief conversation, he hangs up the phone and shakes his head at me helplessly.

Lucien: [smiles helplessly] Looks like our journey might be delayed for a bit.

MC: What a careless owner! How could they forget such an adorable little dog?

I affectionately rub Snowball's head. It seems to whimper aggrievedly, then it straightens up, leans against me, and licks my cheek.

The adorable and silly look melts my heart once again. I exaggerate by placing my hand over my heart, then I scoop Snowball into my arms and give it a tight cuddle.

MC: Lucien, it's just too cute.

Upon seeing this, Lucien boops Snowball's nose, his tone hinting at jealousy.

Lucien: You've been praising this little guy since earlier until now for so many times.

MC: Pfft, is Professor Lucien feeling jealous?

Lucien: After all, I was the one who wanted to make a good impression today, but I didn’t expect to be outshone by this "little attention-seeker".

MC: I think, it's actually quite timely that Snowball showed up.

I mischievously wink at him and raise Snowball triumphantly.

MC: Just when I couldn't think of any beautiful moments unrelated to you.

MC: The appearance of this cute little fellow right now just fills that gap perfectly~

Lucien: Is that so?

Lucien presses his lips together thoughtfully, his clean fingertips lightly tapping on the steering wheel. He puts his sunglasses back on and, as if on a whim, starts the car again.

Lucien: Buckle up your seatbelt, let's go.

MC: Huh? Where are we going? Aren't we supposed to wait for Snowball's owner?

Lucien: MC's words just aroused my desire to win.

Lucien: In order not to lose to this little fellow, I have to put in some extra effort during these forty minutes of waiting.

Lucien: Before that, let's go find some more unexpected wonderful moments.

✂———————–

Ten minutes later, Lucien drives us to a countryside field.

The golden sunlight blankets the emerald green grass, while wisps of light mist hover amidst the sea of green.

Excitedly, I hop out of the car while holding Snowball, and find myself unable to tear my eyes away from the beautiful scenery for a moment.

MC: It's so beautiful! Lucien, how did you know there's a place like this nearby?

Lucien: We passed by here when Miss Producer was fully focused on playing the idiom chain game just now.

Lucien: The meeting point I arranged with Snowball's owner is very close to here, so it was convenient to stop by on the way.

MC: [sweats] What? During that intense idiom chain game just now, you still managed to notice the scenery on the sides of the road?

Upon hearing this, Lucien seriously crosses his arms, one hand supporting his chin as if deep in thought.

Lucien: Hmm, after all, even in such a tense moment, Miss Producer didn't forget to use "sweet words" to bribe her opponent.

MC: Pfft-

I can't help but laugh, but Snowball in my arms suddenly wriggles restlessly, as if trying to break free from my embrace.

MC: Do you want to go down and play?

I carefully place Snowball on the ground. It sniffs around with its tiny nose and then happily starts running around us.

MC: [laughs cheerfully] Hahaha, Snowball, you're so fearless, don't you?

MC: Even after such a day full of twists and turns, you can still play so happily!

Lucien: A puppy's mind is very simple.

Lucien: Perhaps in its eyes, it simply unexpectedly took a risk to venture into an unfamiliar place and met with a beautiful and empathetic Jiejie (big sister) who understands it well.

Lucien: And now, this Jiejie has brought it to a playground where it can run freely, so why can't it be happy?

MC: Oh, come on, it's definitely the credit of this reasonable and understanding handsome Gege (big brother).

I jokingly gesture with my hand, but as I watch Snowball's carefree figure, I can't help but ponder Lucien's words with a thoughtful expression.

MC: That being said, it seems like any simple thing can easily make a puppy happy.

MC: Whether it's the company of its owner, a friendly pat from a stranger, a passing butterfly, or even just a small treat...

MC: I often see videos of dogs being scolded by their owners. One moment, they're scared out of their wits…

MC: Then, the next moment, as soon as their owners call their names with a smile, they instantly become happy again.

MC: So, is life filled with beautiful moments everywhere in the eyes of a puppy?

As we talk, Snowball runs around a nearby grassy area and then returns to Lucien's feet, panting. It looks like it's tired from playing and eagerly starts pawing at his pants.

Lucien cooperatively lifts it, and it comfortably stretches lazily in his arms, then leans against his arm and rests.

Lucien pats its head, his expression somewhat resigned.

Lucien: I originally wanted to create a "wonderful moment" for MC, but it seems like Snowball is the one enjoying it more.

MC: Indeed, we should learn from puppies and embrace the spirit of enjoying every moment. I can't let Snowball beat me~

As I say this, I take a deep breath, and the fresh air instantly fills my heart.

MC: So pleasant... If it weren't for the tight schedule and better scenery waiting for us, I'd want to camp right here.

Lucien looks at me upon hearing this, seeming to contemplate something. After a moment, he gently places Snowball into my arms and gives me a mysterious wink.

Lucien: I've received the classmate's wish, please wait a moment.

He walks around to the back of the car, opens the trunk, and folds down all the rear seats, creating a spacious area.

[Lucien’s car being an SUV is really useful in times like this huh-]

Then, he hangs the small decorative lanterns that were initially used for the tent on the roof of the car. Finally, he shakes out a small thin blanket and spreads it on top.

After finishing all this, he bends slightly and makes a gentlemanly invitation gesture.

Lucien: Please, have a seat.

MC: This is...

Lucien: Our time is indeed limited, not enough to set up a proper tent.

Lucien: So we'll have to use this "temporary camping spot" instead, I hope you two* don’t disdain it.

[T/N: He actually uses 小朋友 (literally means: child) as the term of endearment to refer both of them (so the more literal translation should be “I hope the two children don’t disdain it”). I change it for an obvious reason here, but I swear it’s not as bad as the english language makes it to be-]

I stand still for a moment as his intention dawns on me. Pink bubbles seem to bubble up in my chest, making my heart move up and down in the ripples it causes.

I compliantly put on airs, playing along with his gesture as I cradle Snowball and settle into the car.

MC: Can you see a look of "disdain" on our faces?

I raise Snowball, showing a coy and obedient look at Lucien. Snowball, oblivious to the situation, cooperatively wags its tail and barks cheerfully at Lucien twice.

Lucien chuckles softly, then takes off his sunglasses with one hand, his gaze shifting between Snowball and me.

The vast expanse of clouds above his head begins to slowly drift away, revealing the warm and radiant sunshine.

His deep gaze is imbued by the golden sky, revealing a hint of childlike innocence and simple contentment.

Lucien: Indeed, I can't see it, because I can only see two adorable faces.

His doting tone is unreserved, and I satisfactorily squint my eyes, my heart full of joy.

MC: This one-of-a-kind camping area, with Professor Lucien's intention behind it, is priceless and worth more than any amount of money.

MC: I cherish it so much; how could I possibly disdain it?

Snowball seems to understand my words. With a "woof", he jumps down and happily rolls around on the blanket.

Both Lucien and I are amused by its adorable appearance. A gentle breeze blows by, and my entire heart feels light as if it's strolling in the clouds.

Our gazes lock into each other, and this tranquil moment is so beautiful that I truly want to record it in some way.

But I don't take out my phone to make a note. Instead, I instinctively reach out and gently pull Lucien to sit beside me.

The warmth beside me makes me unconsciously lean closer. I nuzzle his shoulder clingily, my heart filled with softness.

MC: Professor Lucien, you've succeeded.

MC: Now my mind is filled with countless wonderful moments, and each of these moments is related to you-

MC: Me leaning on your shoulder, your scent filling my senses, and us sharing this unexpected encounter of scenery together...

MC: And even if these moments aren't intentionally recorded by me, it's okay.

MC: Because every little thing that has been happening with you has already integrated into my world since a long time ago.

The breath above my head becomes even more gentle and elongated. Lucien enfolds me in his arms, his warm breath almost as if it's seeping into the depths of my heart.

Lucien: I am honored to be part of all the “wonderful moments” of Miss MC.

Lucien: As the sole recipient of this “award”, I will remain humble and continue to work hard, bringing her even more happiness.

I smile in his arms, but suddenly, I think of something and pull myself away from him a bit.

MC: But it's not fair, I've listed so many 'wonderful moments' of my own. How come you haven't shared a single one with me?

Lucien seems taken aback by my sudden mention of this. He is struck silent for a moment, then a flicker of wounded expression crosses his face.

Lucien: Perhaps because I thought even if I didn't say anything, MC would know what I’m thinking—

Lucien: My "list of wonderful moments" is very simple, so simple that it has only one item.

Lucien: Now, do you still need me to tell you this one and only item?

He stares steadily into my eyes, with an irreplaceable radiance that ebbs and flows in the depths of his gaze.

I softly laugh, and my entire heart feels as transparent and bright as if it has been meticulously polished.

MC: No need.

I shook my head, the stray hair on my forehead bringing a slightly unbearable itch, gently brushing against my heart along with the gentle spring breeze.

I gently cup his cheek in the palm of my hand, and the world becomes unusually quiet, only the sound of two hearts beating can be heard.

MC: You don't need to say anything.

Because in those beautiful eyes, I only see myself.

————Fin———–

[Bonus Phone Call - Want it Now]

Lucien: Hello? Are you busy?

MC: So, I was about to take a lunch break—I was just thinking about you, and then your call came.

Lucien: It seems like there's always some kind of wonderful little tacit understanding between us.

Lucien: Then tell me about it.

MC: Haha, here's the thing. The company's pet club is planning a charity event.

MC: They plan to sell some handmade items and donate the proceeds to animal shelters. But I don't have any inspiration for what to make at the moment...

Lucien: Mm... I just received a delivery that might be helpful to you.

Lucien: The owner of Snowball sent us some things as a thank you. There are small felt keychains shaped like Snowball, as well as cartoon-style standees and cross-stitch fridge magnets.

Lucien: Looking at the note in the delivery box, it seems that the owner of Snowball designed them personally and also has the same ones at home.

Lucien: Perhaps we can also make some similar small items.

MC: Wow! They actually make these for their pet? The owner of Snowball is so thoughtful.

Lucien: You can tell that Snowball is truly cherished, so its owner makes these everyday little things, wanting its presence to fill every corner of their home.

MC: Hmm... Just like how my phone screensaver is you, and all the photos hanging around the home are of you?

Lucien: If what you're saying is that feeling of 'even when you're not around, I still want to see you first thing’...

Lucien: Then we're the same.

MC: I have another idea, I wonder if Professor Lucien shares the same idea as me.

Lucien: Hm?

MC: Even though my screensaver and chat background are pictures of you... I still want to see you right now.

Lucien: What a coincidence, I was thinking the same thing. So I've already brought your favorite milk tea and the Snowball keychain, and I'm on my way to see you.

Lucien: I checked the navigation, and the route from the research institute to your company is very smooth.

Lucien: In twenty minutes, both of our wishes will come true.

[missredherring]

Highway Honey

Frankie Morales x Female Reader

Rating: R

Word Count: 5.5k

Warnings: Established relationship. Frankie flirting. spit everywhere. make out session. thigh riding. m!masturbation. cumplay and cum eating. No Kids AU. A bit of Pope bashing.

Summary: “What’s gotten into you today?”

“You don’t have fond road trip memories?”

“Not really, and I wouldn’t call the trips I do remember ‘road trips’.” He says and you don’t let what he doesn’t say, that most of them were missions or deployments, bring the mood down.

A/N: The rumors of a Triple Frontier sequel came out and then this just poured out of me. Thanks to @morallyinept for the encouragement and @johnwatsn for their superb beta skills. Divider made by @saradika-graphics.

All bad Spanish is my own.

Santiago is the one who reaches out first.

It's late at night and any plans for a date night have dissolved into cuddling on the couch with what's left of a movie scrolling on the TV. You're almost asleep when his cell phone rings.

Frankie jolts a little; he was so close to drifting off with the warmth of your body against his. His limbs are tangled with yours, keeping you close even when there's nowhere to go on the small couch. So when he reaches for his phone on the coffee table, you go with him and end up dangerously close to falling off the edge. You squeak at the unpleasant sensation and Frankie slides a big hand from its usual spot on your ass up to your back to hold you better. 

"Sorry, baby, sorry. Lemme get this," he says. Any traces of relaxation disappear from his body when the voice on the other line starts talking. 

It's male, but no one from work, and not Benny or Will, who you can recognize easily with how often Frankie is talking with them. They bring a smile to his face as he looks off into the distance while they talk, like he can see them across the way. You like it when they make him laugh so hard he bends over in his mirth, the phone tight to his ear so he doesn't miss anything. 

This voice is different and speaking fluid Spanish. You've picked up a lot from Frankie, but you can only make out a word or two until you hear a phrase you're very familiar with. Only you usually hear it from Frankie in a different tone. The positions you were in was right for it though.

"Te necesito."

"What do you want, Pope?"

Ah. Although you’ve never met him, you've heard about Santiago Garcia aka Pope. From Benny, from Will, and from Frankie himself. There's many mixed feelings about the man and his relationship with the boys, but one thing has been agreed upon after many talks. Talks between them, their therapists, and their partners: Santiago wants what he wants and will do what he needs to to get it, regardless of the damage he leaves behind. 

And what he wants this time is Frankie. Your Frankie. Again. 

Frankie's grip flexes on you and his body tenses. You look up at him and kiss his whiskery chin to comfort him, to remind him he's got you. He nuzzles you back, just a pass or two of his nose along the curve of your cheek. 

Oblivious to Frankie's tension, Santiago continues to chatter, dancing around the reason he called and switching from English to Spanish so quickly it's hard to keep up. That's probably what he wants. Frankie said that’s part of Santiago’s strategy: he dazzles you with his attention and then keeps things going at a fast pace so the next thing you know you’re halfway around the world and it’s too late to turn back. 

"What is it?" Frankie repeats, cutting him off, his tone edged with impatience.

"Malo," Santiago sighs and it's enough to spark your apprehension into anger and you'd like nothing more in that moment than to take the phone and give him a piece of your mind. Then throw the phone out the window for good measure. 

"I'll be stateside for a couple of months and I wanted to host a beach weekend away for you guys. I miss you guys and I want to see how you're doing- catch up," Santiago's confession is heavy coming down the line and you feel Frankie brace for its impact. But Santiago rushes on. "You can bring a partner if you want; do you have a girl right now? A guy? Man, did you know about Benny's boy? It was like I took one of his right hooks when he told me-"

You roll your eyes and huff out a breath. Of course Frankie knew about Benny's boyfriend. It wasn't news to someone who kept in contact regularly.

Frankie’s hand spreads wide over your back; maybe it was a twitch, or maybe he's looking for comfort. You decide on the latter, remembering the nights you'd wake up to his hands running over you. It was rarely sexual, but he'd always stop when you turned towards him with a questioning hum. 

"Can I hold you, baby?" He'd been able to ask for it under the cloak of night. 

"Of course." It was your automatic answer, but you always meant it.

Eventually you'd coaxed his needs into the daylight and a hand stroking up and down an arm, a back, around the waist, was a touch of comfort and reassurance for both of you. 

"So you call out of the blue and want to do a beach vacation; rent a big house on the beach and all that?" Frankie asks.

The skepticism is there, unspoken. He doesn't voice it yet, doesn't confront his friend about everything he's done, what he's dragged him in and out of. It's the last part that stops him, because as many shitty situations as Santiago has talked them into, he always gets them out. Whether they're in one piece or not is a different thing. 

"Yea," a nervous chuckle. He wasn't expecting this resistance from Frankie. "I figured we could enjoy the beach–" without being shot at, without trying to keep our friend's dead body from being swept away is how Frankie would’ve ended that sentence, but Santiago tries to save it. "–with this nice summer weather."

"Nice summer weather." Frankie repeats faintly. And there's a wealth of emotion in the soft tone. He's already at war with himself and the conversation hasn't even been going for ten minutes.

When you tug on his shirt to get his attention, Frankie raises his hand holding the phone up over his head like he doesn't want anything of Santiago's, not even his voice, near you.

"Tell him we have to talk it over," you say. It was true, and it would give Frankie an out.

Frankie smiles at you and nods, a bemused look on his face like he'd forgotten that he doesn't need to answer Santiago right away. There's no deadline looming over them, urging them to move. He brings the phone back to his ear.

"Mhm," he says, sliding right back into the conversation. Had Santiago even noticed the pause, or was he just steamrolling ahead? "It sounds nice, man, but I gotta talk it over with my lady." He glances at you and rolls his eyes. "I'll get back to you. Is this your number? For now, uh-uh. Talk to you later, man…"

He hangs up and lets his phone drop to the back of the couch. He pinches the bridge of his nose and runs his fingers through his curls. You know if he was wearing his hat he’d be readjusting it. 

"Wow," you say to break the tension. Santiago’s presence is still lingering in the room with you. 

"Yea. Haven't heard from him in damn near a year and he wants to play beach house?" Frankie grumbles. 

"You wanna go, huh?" You know he does. But he doesn't want to want to go. You give him another option.

"You can blame it on me: say I wouldn't let you go."

"Nah, baby," he leans down and kisses the top of your head. "But thanks."

"Alright, so let's go. I'll be there and the boys will too. Maybe we'll finally get to meet that person Will's been seeing. Just make sure you make Santiago pay for it. If we're doing this I want a free vacation out of it at least."

Frankie laughs and reaches for his phone. You get it before he does. 

"Don't text him yet. Let Will and Benny know first, then text Santiago like next week. Make him sweat.”

Frankie rolls his eyes again, but this time he's smiling. "Alright, alright, you devious mastermind."

His hands are back on your body now, rubbing down your back before switching directions. One slips under your shirt and the other dips into your pants to cup your pussy. 

"How ‘bout I make you sweat?"

For all the tension Santiago’s sudden reappearance brings, the details come together in an extremely ordinary way: texts back and forth get most of it done, along with a coordinated group call to stipulate that Santiago pays for the house. It's six against one and Santiago gives in with a few grumbles here and there. You could hear the boys and their partners chiming in now that the big issue was out of the way. Ordinary discussions of meal plans and what people would like to do with the time they’d have at the beach. 

When he speaks, it's only Santiago’s voice; no talking quietly to someone off to the side, no pauses while looks are exchanged. Does he have anyone in his corner for this fight? Anyone he’d be bringing with him? 

Frankie shifts next to you with an uncomfortable look on his face while Santiago is saying something about an aquarium near the beach town he’d found, and you squash those thoughts down. It doesn’t matter what Santiago’s personal life is like. What matters is supporting Frankie and the others in the face of whatever Santiago really wants. 

It's an early morning when you finish packing the truck for the trip. Taking your car would be more fuel efficient, but it'd be cramped with all of your things and poor Frankie squeezed in the seats. His truck might gulp down gas but it's comfortable for him and you like the bench seats that gave you more room to spread out during the drive.

The sun hasn't come up yet and there’s a chill in the air, just hinting at the cooler weather on the way in a few short months. 

You’re already situated in the cab when Frankie climbs in. He looks at you while shoving his thermos full of strong coffee in the cup holder and laughs. 

“‘Look cozy there; a real passenger princess.” He says, leaning the other way to close his door with a solid thunk. 

You wrinkle your nose at the term. You look more like a burrito than a princess in yoga pants, a sweatshirt, and a blanket wrapped around you. “I’m just comfy. You blast the A/C like it’s 90 degrees already.”

“I’ll open the windows when it warms up. You can sweat to your heart’s content, promise.”

The truck’s engine dutifully turns over but Frankie lets it sit for a few minutes. The rumbling of the engine is more noticeable in his older truck and it almost lulls you back to sleep, but you resist it when the minutes tick by. You glance over at Frankie and watch as he picks at some of the dirt that’s been pressed into the letters on the gearshift with his thumbnail.

“We don’t have to go,” you say.

His smile is bittersweet. He knows Pope won’t stop showing up until he gets what he wants, one way or another. 

“You gotta stop giving me easy outs, baby; you make it sound too tempting,” he says, trying to make light of it. “It’s gonna happen, and I don’t know about you, but the sea air and a cold beer will help.” 

“They’re not easy outs,” you remind him. “It’s setting boundaries.” 

“I don’t know if Pope’d accept that.”

“Then those boundaries are even more important.” 

A look crosses his face that you can’t place and he shrugs. Without another word he puts the truck into gear and pulls out of the driveway. 

It’s quiet as you drive through town. Not a lot of people are out except for a person looking asleep on their feet while walking their dog and a runner decked out in reflective gear, a headlight bouncing as they go.

When you pull into the gas station you both get out of the truck to attend to your own tasks: filling up the truck for Frankie, and procuring snacks for you.

He’s putting the cap on the gas tank when you come back with a bulging bag. 

“I got the goods,” you inform him in an undertone, glancing around you for good measure. “Plus some of those breakfast sandwiches you like.” 

He peaks inside the bag while you hoist yourself back into the truck and gives a little whistle.

“Double bacon? You spoilin’ me?”

“That one’s mine, but if you ask nicely I’ll let you have a bite.”

The bag is handed over while he gets in and before he buckles up he leans over and kisses you.

“Can I have a bite, please?” A little nip of your bottom lip shakes off what was left of your sleepiness. “Hm? Please, baby?” 

You purse your mouth to answer and he’s still so close that the movement makes your lips brush together again. Deciding not to say anything, you nod and this time your noses touch and the skin around his eyes crinkle as he smiles.

“Yes!” He starts the truck and as he leaves the parking lot he yells out the window to let everyone know his good luck. “Double bacon!”

It’s silly and it makes you want to hide your face so people don’t see you with the guy hooting over a sandwich, but he’s in a good mood now and you wouldn’t trade that for anything. 

Once the highway clears of city traffic you settle in for the trip. The blanket is tossed aside and you dutifully let Frankie take a bite of the coveted sandwich. He makes such a production of enjoying every chew that you let him have the whole thing. 

When the radio loses the signal for the local stations you push in the cassette tape adapter and hook it up to your beloved, beaten up iPod. You select one of the playlists you’ve curated for the trip and feel pleased when Frankie starts to nod along to the music, his fingers tapping on the wheel. 

The mile markers go by in a blur and soon you’ve turned towards Frankie on the seat, shucking off your shoes and wiggling your toes underneath his thigh. He just shifts to the side so you can get better access.

From this position you can look at Frankie all you want, which is a lot. His hat is at an odd angle from when he’d bumped it putting on his trusty aviators as the sunlight got stronger. You can see his eyes behind the sunglasses flicking from the mirrors to the road and back. His eyelashes are so long that you’re surprised they don’t brush against the lens. 

You nudge his thigh a little just to see those eyes flicker towards you. His eyebrow tics up in a question and you smile at him. He squeezes the calf nearest to the edge of the seat and rests his hand on the gearshift, his attention back on the road now that he’s checked in with you. 

You doze on and off, coming fully awake when you hear the sounds of Frankie’s yawn and the metal-on-metal scrape of his thermos being opened more frequently. He takes a long drink from it, but it’s only a few minutes later until he’s yawning again.

The next time he opens his mouth wide with his tongue contracting back in his mouth, you lean over, whip your arm out, and hook a finger on the inside of his cheek.

A noise somewhere between “augh” and “fuck” comes out garbled.

“I’d offer to switch but I can’t drive stick," you say like you don’t have a finger in his mouth. Instead of forcing it out he closes his lips and makes quick work with his tongue, covering it in spit. You take it back and don’t waste the time or the opportunity to give him a wet willy, putting the tip of your spit-covered finger in his ear. You watch the shudder go down his body, feeling no small amount of childish glee. 

“You handle my stick just fine,” he says after recovering. 

"If I do that we won't be getting anywhere."

"I'd be getting off," he glances over at you and waggles his eyebrows. 

You cover his mouth with your hand in an attempt to staunch the flow of bad flirting and he licks it. His tongue is just as hot and wet as it had been on your finger, but thanks to the width of your palm his tongue flattens out to cover more of it. Your clit throbs at the reminder of just how good Frankie is with his tongue. 

"Is that payback for the wet willy?" you ask, wiping it off on his shoulder. He pouts at you, and the inversion of his expression is so quick and dramatic from behind the dark aviators that it makes you laugh. 

"’Could've wiped that off on my dick instead."

You give his shirt one more swipe for good measure and go back to your side of the cab.

"Keep driving, Morales."

The clouds overhead are getting darker and denser as the day goes on.

You’re halfway there and Frankie’s getting tense. He’s sitting up straighter with both hands on the steering wheel. The aviators have been tucked into his shirt front and now you can clearly see his eyes darting to the rear-view mirror. His mouth is tugging down in a worried frown. 

The day had warmed up enough to roll down the windows and enjoy the fresh air, but that meant that now the cab was filled with the charged energy from the storm. It prickles along your skin and you have to resist the urge to dispel it by rubbing your arms.  

“Frankie,” you say before touching his arm. You don’t want to startle him when he’s hyper alert like this. The flex of his bicep is the only outward reaction he gives.

“Storm’s coming. We might get caught in it," he says.

“Ok. That’s fine,” you say, trying to convey with your tone that it isn’t a problem, but it’s clear that the storm on your heels, chasing you in the rear-view mirror, was aggravating his nerves and stirring up his PTSD symptoms. Maybe it's the combination of the storm behind you and the encounter with Santiago in front of you that's reminding him of previous missions. As much as he loves his friends, there are hard memories attached to those friendships that he can never forget. 

“Mhm,” he locks his elbow as he adjusts his grip on the wheel. 

Frankie flinches when the first few drops splatter on the windshield, but he doesn’t blink as the clouds open up. He just increases the wiper speed and keeps a steady pace. Soon he can’t see even with the highest setting, and with a curse he throws on the hazard lights and pulls off the road. 

There hadn’t been much traffic on this stretch of highway, thankfully, but the pounding rain on the truck’s metal panels is deafening and you can’t see much out the windows except rain and the dust it’s kicking up from how hard it’s hitting the ground.

Frankie sighs as he surveys the bare land stretching out into nowhere and taps his fingers on the steering wheel. With the engine shut off the tick tick tick of the hazards is louder in the cab, but the rain is louder and you have to clear your throat and raise your voice to get his attention.

“Yea, baby?” 

“Gimme your hand,” you say and he does, looking back out the window. You can practically hear the thoughts turning over in his head: if you're delayed for so long, that’ll put you a few hours behind schedule, which means you’ll be late getting in to the beach house and then he’d have to deal with Pope’s mock disappointment and whatever teasing Will and Benny would throw in. 

His hands are big, everything about him is big, even if he doesn’t feel like it when he compares himself to his friends, but his hands are a favorite of yours. You press a kiss to his palm and massage the muscles there, pressing your thumbs in and smoothing them outwards towards the fingers. 

You move closer to him until you’re pressed to his side with one of your arms around his shoulder on the back of the seat. His arm is trapped between you now, with the hand in your lap splayed over a thigh. 

He sighs again, but starts to relax, his posture sagging just enough to slope his shoulder towards you, so you kiss it. The worn material of one of his favorite t-shirts is soft and thin under your lips. This close you can feel his body warmth radiating off of him from the warm day and when you inhale you get a nose full of the deodorant he’d swiped on this morning before tossing it in his bag. 

He swallows, drawing your attention there. The urge is so strong that you give in easily, following the seam of his shirt to the bare skin of his neck. A light kiss, a nuzzle to his jaw, and then a wet lap of your tongue followed by a noisy suck to the salty skin there just to throw him off guard. 

He tries to move away, but you’ve got him pinned to the door now, and unless he wants to tumble you both out into the downpour, there’s nowhere for him to go. But he’s laughing and wrapping his arms more firmly around you. 

“What’s gotten into you today?”

“You don’t have fond road trip memories?”

“Not really, and I wouldn’t call the trips I do remember ‘road trips’,” he says and you don’t let what he doesn’t say, that most of them were missions or deployments, bring the mood down. 

“Then that’s even more reason to make some good memories on the way, Frankie,” you say, continuing the path of kisses up his jaw. The bare patches of his beard are one of your favorite places to kiss, so you press one there lovingly, before turning his jaw so you can repeat the action on the other one. 

Frankie’s head is turned towards you now, his hands holding you close. His eyes have stopped looking out the window and are focused solely on you, and the attention affects you like it always does: a warmth creeping up your chest to settle in your cheeks. A feeling of pride follows that heat; that you’re enticing enough to have this handsome man’s attention only on you. Like a magnet, his mouth finds yours and you share some soft sweet kisses. But soft and sweet isn’t what you had in mind.

“Wanna make out and see if we can fog up the windows better than the storm?” you suggest and you can feel his answering grin. He nods as well but that knocks the bill of his hat into your forehead, and with a quick swipe it’s off his head and your fingers are in his curls, scratching along his scalp. 

Groaning at your lips, he licks along the seam there, asking and receiving entrance in the same moment. He wants to go fast, his tongue plunging and twisting with yours, but you slow him down with a tug at his hair. There’s no need to rush this. 

Slow, thorough kisses are the template for this. You press forward to rub your tongue on his then draw back to pull his lip between your teeth. Frankie, ingrained to follow orders, falls into line with you. His beard rubs on your skin and the prickly sensation heightens the softness of his plump lips as he soothes the scratches he’s left behind, trailing both sides of your jaw and then down to your throat. It’s a never-ending task of his own making. 

Wanting more access, he tries to bring you into his lap but your ass gets caught on the steering wheel at just the right angle to hit the horn. It startles laughter out of both of you and you shush his grumbling by settling on his thigh angled toward the truck’s stereo system. 

His jean-clad thigh feels good between your legs, and you wiggle closer to him just to feel the drag of the seam of your pants against your pussy. You gasp and it only takes a kiss or two to make him stop pouting. He’s entirely focused on you: rubbing his nose along yours and kissing your sun-warmed skin. With how you’re kneeling on his thigh you can feel the hot bulge of him against your knee. You press into him there just to watch his chest hitch and his hips chase the feeling. 

It truly turns into something from a teenager’s wet dream then. Hands groping and fingers pressing into bared skin as shirts are removed. Sweat is rolling down the line of your back and it makes you shiver on top of him. He holds your hips down and flexes his thigh in response and you can only drape yourself on him, gasping into his neck when he hits just the right spot. 

You take a moment to catch your breath and bite his earlobe since it’s right there. 

“Are you all worked up, honey? Need to take the edge off?” you ask.

Like he’d been waiting for you to suggest more, one of his hands quickly goes to the fly of his jeans and thumbs the button free, pulling the zipper down before reaching for the waistband of your pants. You lift your hips up and away and can’t help the grin at the disappointed noise he makes. 

“Uh-uh. Just you. Touch yourself for me, Frankie.”

You’re never going to get tired of seeing him take his cock out. It’s just as beautiful as the rest of him and you feel an answering ache inside of you when he fists the straining length. He only gives one stroke, up and down, before letting go and offering his hand to you.

“‘Need some help, baby.” His eyes are so dark without the sunlight to brighten them, but somehow they get even darker when you take that hand and press it under your waistband. 

“Then get it,” you say and he does. Cupping your pussy with his entire hand, he uses his fingers to part your folds, letting the wetness they’d been holding back drip out onto his palm. Just like he’d done to his cock, he strokes your pussy up and down, making sure to get as much of your slick as he can in the confines of your clothes before pulling his hand back out. 

Shining with your slick, he takes his cock in hand again and moans at the glide you’ve provided. 

The inside of the cab is filled with the sounds of Frankie’s pleasure as the rain continues to beat at the roof. The scent of him is everywhere and what little space you’d made to watch him gets smaller and smaller. Every time he strokes up, pausing to squeeze the head of his cock with just the right amount of pressure, his knuckles brush your pussy and your hips follow the downward stroke of his hand until you’re covering him again. His cock trapped between you, limiting his hand’s range of motion. But it’s an easy trade off for the feeling of your breasts pressed to his chest and the needy way you’re moving your hips on his thigh. The heat and weight of you combined with his expert touch brings him to the edge quickly.

"Kiss me, baby. Kiss me," he begs and fucks your mouth with his tongue like he wants to fuck your pussy. It’s sloppy and your chin is dripping with spit when he stiffens under you, a guttural groan passing between your lips as he comes. When you don’t feel the familiar warm wetness on your skin, you peak between you to see his hand covering the tip of his cock. Cum drips from between his fingers and a little had splattered back onto his soft tummy. 

The way it drips down into his pubic hair is too tempting, but when you dip your head to get a taste he stops you with an elbow nudge to your shoulder to keep you back. 

Frankie leans over you and grabs a few napkins from the glove box, wincing at the rough texture as he cleans himself up. Finally he swipes a finger to collect the last streak of cum from his front and hold it to your lips, pushing past them to press the cum onto your tongue. Your eyes flutter close at the tang of him and you hum around his finger. He cups your cheek and brushes at the sweat beading at your hairline. 

“You didn’t come.”

“I’m saving it,” you say and the surprise is clear on his face. 

“You think I’m letting Santiago have a decent night’s sleep? We’re taking the room next to his and I’m hoping for thin walls.”

He shakes his head at that and gathers you close in a hug. “My devious woman.”

The storm passes over as you cuddle close together and when only the odd drop of rain hits the truck you both hop out to straighten out clothing and stretch your muscles a bit before getting back on the road.

The rest of the trip is uneventful and you check in with Will and Benny when you stop for lunch, sending them a picture of Frankie with a mouthful of fries. Benny’s boyfriend responds with a picture of Benny flipping off the camera, and Will sends a blurry selfie of his windblown face. ETAs are established and you can’t help but roll your eyes at how exact they get, knowing it’s going to end up in a competition on who can get there first. 

Frankie’s focused on the road, but he takes your hand in his every now and then to squeeze it, to roll your fingers between his, and to press a kiss to whatever part he can reach. 

The surrounding land changes as the truck rolls on. Hard packed dirt gives way to shifting sands and tall reedy grass swaying in the breeze. You can’t help the excitement you feel when you can finally smell the salt in the air and take a deep lungful. Childhood memories of vacations filled with sunburns and sand everywhere come to mind. You squeeze Frankie’s hand and throw him a grin. He returns it with a nod of his head. His aviators and hat covers some of his expression, but his lips are tilted up. 

The turn off for the community of brightly colored beach houses is just ahead, but so is the sign for the public beach access. You point it out to Frankie, who is checking his phone for the latest update from Benny. 

He opens his mouth to object but you’re persistent. 

“Let’s enjoy the beach a little before anything else happens,” you say and he only has a moment of hesitation before turning towards the big parking lot where half the spaces are covered in sand drifts. 

Frankie groans as he bends backwards to stretch and feels a few pops in his back. You roll up your pants and fish out flip-flops from a bag in the back. Your feet sink in the sand as you follow the path between sand dunes and then the beach is there. Waves roll up the sand, reaching for you, as seagulls whirl overhead, their cries getting carried off on the wind as it blows through. 

You walk a little ways up and down, weaving in and out of the water as you take turns nudging each other into the oncoming surf when you bump together, tethered by interlocking fingers. It’s too late in the day to find seashells, but you make plans for an early morning walk on another day. Frankie puts on a good show about sacrificing his sleep to get up with you, like he’s not the one who hasn’t been able to break the habit of an early morning wake up time. 

It feels like the start to a real vacation instead of a tense meeting of old friends who last parted on uncertain terms. Frankie’s shoulders are broad and he’s not hunched in on himself. His expression is open as he watches his toes getting covered in sand as the water comes in and out. This is what you want for him, this brief reprieve, a moment of relaxation. 

Frankie’s phone chimes and you see the incoming text from Pope: “You get lost out there? Need me to send out a rescue team?”

“Let's tell Benny to take the room on the other side of Santiago’s,” you say and Frankie’s laugh is loud enough to be heard over the crash of the waves. 

[whipitgod]

I Panicked

Hannibal Lecter x Will Graham

oneshot - wc: 2.3k

summary: post fall hannigram, fits in the same universe as ‘pushed in’ but its not necessary to read that to understand this one. Hannibal gets a bit introspective as he thinks about how his life turned out, Will just really wants Hannibal to stop stabbing him

warnings: canon typical violence though non-graphic (will gets lightly stabbed), somewhat crack-ish as per usual, and a decent helping of some tooth rotting domesticity

a/n: YOU GUYS ARE ALL SO AMAZING!!! thank you for all the love on the destiel fic! this was fun to write because I’ve been sitting on this idea for a while so it was good to finally flesh it out, i hope you all enjoy it!! if you like this remember to leave a like/reblog! maybe even follow me :D! Happy reading!!

!!!!REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!!!

All things considered, Hannibal had never expected his life to turn out like this; he had been, for lack of better phrasing, well and truly domesticated. They had settled into a small home in rural Argentina after pulling themselves out of the raging water Will had thrown them into, the nearest town no less than 30 minutes away; which Hannibal had initially taken issue with before seeing how at peace the younger man had been in the countryside.

Will had flourished in the new environment much to Hannibal's delight, the ex-profilers joy making it hard for Hannibal to be upset about their living situation. The home is nothing like how his home in Baltimore had been, the one they reside in now was single story and unassuming. White in color and surrounded by trees with a lake a couple hundred yards back behind the house, the home reminded him more of how Will's home had been in Wolf Trap. Hannibal found it difficult to complain about the home when it was shared with the younger man, whenever he felt the need to his mind would supply him with memories of Will walking through the back door after spending all day down by the lake fishing, the dog Hannibal had got him when they had first arrived at the home following close behind him.

Hannibal really had never pictured his life ever being anything like this, the concept of finding a shelter and choosing a dog for someone would have made him laugh a decade ago. He reasons that he had never had anyone to do it for before, because when they had arrived in Argentina almost three years ago Hannibal had barely batted an eye while he made quick work of locating a shelter about an hour away from the home to find a dog for Will.

Despite all this he still has his moments, he reminds himself sometimes that nobody is perfect; everyone has moments of weakness and lapses in judgment. Hannibal tries his best to maintain his composure and not let himself do anything too impulsive but sometimes the flood of emotions he gets in the face of the domesticity he and will now shared got the better of him; he had never been good at reacting rationally and it was apparent in how he tended to handle his emotions.

His most recent lapse in judgment had surprised even him, even now a week later he’s still a little unclear on why he had reacted to the emotions he shared with Will the way he did. He really had no reason to do what he did but Hannibal had never been a very reasonable man despite how much he tried to claim he was.

2 Weeks Ago

“Jesus Christ Hannibal, why did you stab me!?” Will’s hand presses against the wound made by the small paring knife Hannibal had been using to prepare dinner.

Hannibal, to his credit, feels at least slightly bad about the turn of events and responds with a flustered, “I'm not sure, I panicked,” the cannibal reaches to move Will's hand so he can inspect the wound, “my sincerest apologies Will.”

Will lets out a disbelieving sound akin to a laugh, “Panicked about what!” His tone is sharp, and he lets out a hiss as Hannibal prods at the wound, “We were just talking about our plans for tomorrow!”

Hannibal freezes momentarily at the words; why had he stabbed Will? The man honestly isn't quite sure, he supposes it might have something to do with the domesticity of the situation and the overwhelming rush of emotions he got whilst listening to Will talk about their plans like they were an old married couple.

“I believe I had meant to kiss you,” Hannibal meets Will's eyes briefly as he says this, “again, I sincerely apologize.”

Will just sighs at this, “It’s fine Hannibal, just help me stitch this up,” he shakes his head muttering a frustrated, “I can’t believe you stabbed me.”

“Of course, dear.” The older man pulls his hands away from where he had them still pressed against the wound, turning slightly to turn the stove off; Hannibal can’t believe he stabbed him either. Will begins walking towards their bathroom, hand clutched to his side and his gait a little uneven betraying the pain he was in; Hannibal really isn’t sure how he was going to make up for this one. The cannibal trails behind him, instructing him to remove his shirt once they had reached the somewhat small room.

“You’re unbelievable,” the words leave Will with a surprising amount of fondness, “Remind me to stop standing so close to you while you make dinner.”

Hannibal lets out a light chuckle at this, shaking his head slightly, “I will try and refrain from stabbing you going forward,” He inspects the wound on Will's lower stomach, sighing softly, “You don’t need stitches dear, but let me clean and bandage it.”

“Little victories,” it’s said with a teasing smile, “and I've heard that before Hannibal, it feels a bit hollow when you keep stabbing me.”

The older man huffs an affronted sound at this, lips curling down a bit, “I haven’t stabbed you in four months.”

“It’s fun that you keep track,” Will spots the guilty look gracing the cannibals features and sighs, he reaches up and places a hand on the man's cheek feeling the slight stubble there, “I know emotions aren’t easy for you, and for what it’s worth I'm proud of you.”

Hannibal scoffs quietly at this, shaking the man's hand off, “Don’t patronize me Will.”

“I'm not,” urged Will, “I really am proud of how well you’ve adapted to our life here; I know it wasn't easy for you.”

The cannibal offers him a small smile at this before patting the bandage that now adorned Will’s abdomen, “Good as new.”

Present day

Hannibal shakes his head at the memory, all things considered, Will had gotten over the man's slip up with a surprising ease; Of course nothing is ever truly easy with Will. The ex-profiler had a tendency to hold onto things to use them as leverage, bringing up Hannibal's misdeeds whenever the couple would argue. The most recent incident had been used to strong arm Hannibal into a fishing trip, the younger man lamenting how Hannibal never partook in the activities that he enjoyed; saying that the cannibal owed it to him to join him on the fishing trip after the older man had stabbed him.

Hannibal had decided not to argue, having learned that with Will he had to pick his battles carefully. The fallout of the cannibal denying him would be worse than a day sat on a boat under the hot sun; at least that's what he had thought up until he had seen the life jacket Will was insistent on having him wear. He thinks back on the argument the life jacket had caused with a huff of retroactive annoyance.

1 Week Ago

“Good lord, what is that?” Hannibal chokes out whilst looking at the neon orange life jacket that Will is holding out for him.

“You’ve never seen a life jacket?” Will's tone is sarcastic as he waves the life jacket in front of the cannibal's face; the older man staring at it like he’s trying to set it on fire with his mind.

“Of course I've seen a life jacket William, don't be ridiculous,” Hannibal waves a hand in its direction, “but why in god's name is it that color?”

“In case emergency search and rescue has to find your body in the lake.” The younger man says this like it's the most obvious thing in the world and Hannibal finds the statement a bit unsettling.

His brows furrowed as he finished processing what Will had said, “Do you plan on me ending up dead in the lake?”

“Depends,” Will shoves the life jacket to Hannibal's chest and the older man lets it fall to the floor without sparing it a glance, “are you gonna be this irritating all day?”

“Very funny dear.”

“I’m not laughing.”

Will, deciding the conversation is over, turns away from Hannibal to finish organizing his tackle box and assorted fishing gear, not sparing another glance to the man even when he starts grumbling quietly to himself; Will only picks up on some of it, not really paying attention.

“We’ll see who ends up in the lake,” there's rustling behind will and the sound of the life jacket being picked up off the floor, “could call it payback for the dress shoes I lost in the ocean.”

Will looks over his shoulder at the man and sends him an annoyed glare, effectively silencing the cannibal.

Present day

Hannibal hated that life jacket; he hated that Will hadn’t worn one as well even more. The fishing trip wasn’t all that bad, though he’d never admit that to the other man; he had complained too much to then turn around and say that he had had a good time. He had found fishing to be rather peaceful, the calm waves rocking the boat accompanied by a comfortable silence, well partial silence. Once Hannibal had stopped complaining there was a comfortable silence, and even though he would never admit it to Will, he knew that he had complained for quite a while.

Hannibal startles slightly at the sound of the back door banging open and the thud Will’s boots made as he entered their home, he hears the paws of the dog following shortly after, the dog never far behind will.

“Honey I’m home!”

Another thing Hannibal would never admit to was how much he enjoyed when Will would enter the house like that, finding a lot of pleasure in hearing Will call the place they resided ‘home’, the phrase always implying that it was their home; a space that they shared. The younger man enters the kitchen, setting the fish he had caught during his trip on the small island, before shifting his eyes to where Hannibal sat and sending the man a smile, eyes crinkling in the corners with the force of it.

“How was your trip dear?” Hannibal stands walking over to where Will is standing at the island starting the process of cleaning the fish. His hands reach out landing on the counter each side of Will’s waist as he peers over the man's shoulder at the fish in front of them, “By the looks of it, it went well.”

Will cranes his neck to look briefly at the man, eyes softening before he leans in and steals a chaste kiss; Their affection had become startlingly domestic compared to how it was when they had first arrived. They had behaved like touch starved teenagers for the first couple months, every kiss turning into something more. The two, now a few years into living with each other, expressed more casual intimacy than Hannibal had ever thought he was capable of. Quick kisses in greeting, or the gentle kisses Will would press to his cheek before he would rush out the door becoming a part of their routine; Hannibal frequently pressing kisses to the top of Will’s head when he would walk behind where the man was sitting, inhaling deeply as he does, taking in the smell of their shared shampoo.

The memories as well as the current position they’re in is horrifically domestic and Hannibal kind of wants to stab him again, though he stamps the thought down as quickly as it comes. Emotions swirl inside of him and he’s unable to pinpoint all of them though he’s able to pick out happiness fairly easily, the emotion had become commonplace after their years of living together; Hannibal had never thought it would be possible to feel as deeply as he does now.

“It was good,” Wills hands now working with a skill that had taken decades to acquire as he guts and cleans the fish in front of him, “how was your day? Do anything fun?”

Hannibal pauses for a moment considering, “It was good, though rather uneventful.”

Will let out a curious noise urging Hannibal to continue, “Oh yeah? Why's that?”

“The day somewhat slipped away from me; I haven’t even begun preparing for dinner.”

Will snorts at this, “Oh no, how will we ever survive,” his tone is teasing, and he laughs a bit as the words leave him, “we’ll starve before you manage to get dinner together.”

“I know, what a horrible twist of fate,” Hannibal presses a kiss to the side of Will’s head before continuing, “we managed to elude the FBI’s grasp for years only to succumb to hunger.”

Will’s shoulders shake with silent laughter before he sets the knife in his hand down, wiping the fish viscera off of his hands before turning in Hannibal’s arms, the man having yet to move them from the island, keeping Will caged. Will doesn’t attempt to touch the man, very familiar with his obsession with cleanliness, instead he leans his head forwards and rests it against Hannibal’s chest. The man's hands move from the counter then landing on the small of Will’s back, fingers toying with the waistband on the back of the younger man's pants.

Will heaves a deep breath, his shoulders relaxing slightly as the tension releases from his body now that he’s wrapped in the other man's arms. They stay like this for a few minutes, Hannibal rocking slightly, a soothing gesture that makes Will’s shoulders slump even further.

The ex-profiler starts to laugh, the sound vibrating against Hannibal's chest prompting the cannibal to pull Will back slightly to look at his face, “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I'm great,” more laughter leaves him, “I was just thinking about stabbing you.”

“Excuse me?!”

[talenlee]

Game Pile: Princess Wing

Princess Wing is a Japanese indie TTRPG, by Hayato Suzumiya, in which players take on the role of Princesses at the prestigious Princess Training Academy, who defend earth from mechanical monsters called Void through their cool outfits that also double up as multi-purpose military machinery and short skirts. Drawing heavily on a particular kind of anime genre that I mostly know in the terms of ‘like Symphogear, right?’ it’s a card-based RPG where players use a predetermined micro-deck to make strategic moves and drive their narratives forward, and everything novel about it I can think of I pretty much describe in this opening paragraph.

Yeah, uh, I don’t know what I’m going to tell you about this one. Come with me on the journey to not really understanding a book that I’ve spent several days reading and the reasons why I think that is.

Just a note: I’m reading an unofficial translation of Princess Wing. I’m not fluent in Japanese, and any time I think a phrase is badly written or clunky or strange, I let it go. That’s not important to this and treating the game as if that’s vital is a great way to cut yourself out of a lot of really cool translated TTRPGs.

Straight up, the things in this game that stood out to me, from my initial notes:

I like the way it suggests players recruit other players to play NPCs in scenes. That’s a cool idea to make part of the recommended text.

I appreciate the idea of dealing players a hand they get to use over the course of a scene, meaning you can have good and bad moments that you get to pace out, without full control over the.

It includes a section on pronoun use in the game.

And then the followup notes…

Wait, the pronoun use splits everything into a hard dichotomy where players are all ‘she’ and the enemies are all ‘he’? Kinda simple binary there.

Hang on, what’s the resolution mechanic for this game? What do I do if something comes up that’s not in one of these specific tables?

Wait, character creation starts when?

At which point I realised I kinda had to give up on treating this book like I would one written in a more familiar language to me. I think it’s very it’s important to look at games outside of my genre interests and my readership space – I love Golden Sky Stories and had a lot of fun engaging with the hot mess that was Gensou Narratograph, after all. I am an anime fan, but something like Symphogear that this game is pretty explicitly referencing, has never been my interest. What’s more, this is a translation of a Japanese RPG — which means there’s a range of ways I think things should be done because they appeal to me and make clear sense to me, that are culturally signified. I won’t know what I don’t know if I don’t look.

Now, you may think, hang on, but you don’t know anything about Symphogear, so why should we care what you say about the Symphogear-inspired TTRPG? And if you need an expert’s opinion on whether or not it’s delivering on its ideas, then yeah, I suppose that’s a thing. I cannot tell you if this is a game that’s good at being Symphogear and crucially, anything I learn about this game will not be useful for interpreting Symphogear. After all, if I was to just look at this book I might assume that Symphogear is about some very specific, complex machinery that’s designed to work under specific rules and conditions, almost like a kind of murder mystery of a mechanical construction, a system of combat rules that remind me a great deal of Bleach in the way that it relies on hard-to-decipher but consistently-applied rules and mechanisms that don’t actually make the narrative they construct meaningfully engaging.

Y’know, Bleach and Symphogear, two very similar anime that I’m sure won’t annoy anyone with that comparison.

Here’s the thing: I think this game is explicitly and delicately tuned to its audience. I really do, and this is an assumption based on the idea that this game is trying to do a good job, by people who are confident in what they are doing. It has the presentation of a thoughtful, creative, well-made book, after all. How then do I grapple with this mechanically uncomfortable system, awkward problem-solving mechanism and system for narratives that need the whole thing mostly created ahead of time, across a language barrier, and not come across as being, at the very least, a little bit of a dick?

I do not know this audience. I do not know who this book was written for. It is a mystery to me and even obvious inferences – it was for people who read Japanese, probably in Japan, and probably used to other Japanese TTRPGs, of which I know exactly one – can’t be treated as representing a meaningful truth. I am peeking through a keyhole and what I am seeing makes no sense to me.

When I talk about games, I describe them as a machine that makes stories. TTRPGs, then, I tell people, are a machine that makes a machine that makes stories. It is a system that you then use to construct your game, and then you play that game to find out what happens. And twice now I’ve looked at Japanese TTRPGs that seem to instead take one step back from that freedom, away from that creativity.

I think that this game hooks you instantly if you like its pitch. Do you already have a Symphogear OC that kinda works in these five general overtones? Do you already have a character you think of as ‘An Amanda’? Well, here’s what you want, here’s the onramp, let’s go. For me? Someone who doesn’t know what it’s about and doesn’t have a reason to resonate with its looks and vibes? It has no time for me and I don’t find a reason to want to belong to a universe that is primarily about teenaged girls with multiple pages dedicated to showing you the components of their uniforms.

At the time of writing I am coming off watching another strange set of interactions about Dungeons & Dragons by people who do not like it remarking on the behaviour of those that do like it. This space is interesting because there are some valid criticisms in deep and thoughtful ways and some shockingly headassed takes that don’t make any sense to me. One criticism is that it’s really weird that the official D&D tiktok is boasting about the new Players Handbook being the largest one ever, as if to say that getting more book in your book means the game is better. To that end, I’d like to submit that Princess Wing is a game that wants to make sure before you start, you’ve already watched twenty plus episode of an anime ahead of time. By that marign, I think it’s fair to say that makes this one of the best games ever.

I don’t think this game has a bad approach, I just think the approach is one that misses me, and unlike other games I criticise for a bad approach, I think this is a good thing here. It doesn’t want me. It has no interest in me, and it does not care about informing me about its world.

You have to admire the purity.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[buckgettingstruck]

okay since you twisted my arm about it 🙄🤨

we all know buck and tommy aren’t compatible. like they have the worst chemistry on the show i cant think of a single pairing that has worse chemistry than they do its just so dry they’re giving us nothinggggg

BUT. i 10000% in my soul KNOW that buck would absolutely not touch that man with a ten foot pole if he knew how he’d participated in the treatment of hen + chim when he was at the 118

which leads to two options as to how the narrative could have their relationship in the first place

1: tommy’s bigotry has been forgiven by the narrative off-screen and will never be addressed again (this is the most likely unfortunately) (especially with the bachelor party comment about knowing chimney longer + chim calling him for the backup from his team)

2: buck has no idea how tommy acted back then (no one told him?) (when he finds out it’s bones SOOO fast)

(i thought there might be a third option but i feel like anything i said could fit under the category of 1 or 2 but lmk!)

okay not to be a defender. but we’re forgetting marisol when it comes to worst chemistry i think 😔

and yeah it seems like hen and chim forgive him i guess??? idk if you’re talking about chimney calling him in s7 or way back in s2 when that whole neighborhood was going up in flames but idk. or at least they tolerated him 😭 i remembered the comment to hen like “i havent gotten your christmas cards” and how chimney didnt INVITE HIM TO THE WEDDING. AND DIDNT GIVE A SHIT AB HIM BEING IN THE HOSPITAL 😭 LIKE HELLO??? they also showed him being friendly with them in bobby begins again but hey we also know the 118 didnt become a family until after he left and buck showed up

i think it leans more toward 2 though? or a mix of the both? with the way they have tommy phrase things to buck about gerrard im assuming he doesn’t know tbh. not to make buck sound like a White Savior tm or anything but i REALLY doubt he’d let that shit fly 😭 and i feel like the way they wrote him in 7b as a mouthpiece to remind us of gerrard’s existence and little else is pointing the narrative in a specific direction. they keep pointing out their connection and tommy’s history so it has to go somewhere right?

something about the scene in 709 keeps fucking with me and i havent seen anyone point it out. he doesnt say SHIT to gerrard. we know tommy to be a pretty blunt character so why the hell didnt he? ik it was chimney’s moment there to clap back (and no he wasnt defending tommy he was defending himself) but he still could’ve said something too to show how different he is and they didnt do that. also they deleted his scene with hen for some reason. were they trying to show he’s still complicit or was it lazy writing?

the other thing is is that gerrard is fucking cooked 😭 like you’re telling me that the firehouse with the catchphrase “who cares” would give a fuck about that bag of bones. and arguably the only person who could be theoretically a part of gerrard’s Old Guard is both bisexual and the mf that wont shut up 😭

ultimately i want the gerrard shit to be about hen and chimney getting their comeuppance (and also eddie beating gerrard with his fists idc) but it feels like something related to gerrard might be what causes tommy tombstone tbh. like i could see tommy telling buck to lay low or whatever and buck is immediately like fuck that or something. otherwise tho i want the storyline to focus on other characters

[stationintern]

Well, hello there! September has flown by, and I have to say, it was a month. Not the worst, but certainly not the best. In the end, I was not able to read as much as I would have liked, but I managed to scrape together a few delicious fics for you, my beloved mutuals and anyone who happens to come across this reclist (you're my beloved, too!)

Enjoy these fics I've gathered for your October gobbling.

Enterrement de vie de garçon by @wolfpants E, 2.7k

Am I starting a Drarry reclist with a Ron/Viktor fic? Yeah, I am. There's still a solid dose of Drarry in here. There's a solid dose of everyone, actually, and it's amazing. I will forever have the phrase "the gay circle of life" imprinted on my brain. Sexy, hilarious, and incredibly fun.

Scenes from a life by @aideomai E, 33.3k

This is a sequel to Such Great Heights, which is a fantastic fic in and of itself. But, this extended epilogue is just so lovely I decided to rec it on its own. There are a few moments in here that I go back and reread when I need something quick that I know will instantly lift me up. Getting to see the characters aideomai created in the initial fic continue developing and settling into various stages of life brings such comfort and warmth, and I just can't get over how beautiful this entire epilogue is. Some of the funniest moments I've ever seen in fic lie in here, and every time I reread I find something new to love.

Two Weeks by @shiftylinguini E, 21.9k

I've been turned to jelly. A fuck or discomfort fic, if you will. I really, truly, don't think I've ever met a hornier Harry. An adorable Harry & Ron dynamic. Draco is very, very sexy. The parallels between the Magical medical world and the real life one are hilarious, and give you a good chuckle if you've ever been given a pile of pamphlets by your therapist.

Semiplume by @tackytigerfic T, 923

I'm furthering my tackytiger agenda. Very cute and domestic, with beautiful descriptions of everything going on inside Draco's head. Dispels the rumors that Scorpius came from an egg. Though, I did enjoy the debates surrounding that. Harry eats crisps.

Terrible People by @wolfpants, @getawayfox E, 52.8k

Once again, I am reccing two wolfpants fics in one list. I loved getting to follow along as this fic came out, and plan to read it again (and again.) Gay cruises, healer Draco, and stunning art. What else could you want?

Five Weddings and a Potions Accident by @lauren3210

Five weddings, a potions accident, and a scrumptious twist.

Alas, we have reached the end. I sincerely hope you found something new, or that I have reminded you of a past favorite that you can revisit. Until November 1st, friends.

xx, Moon.

[bronx-bomber87]

Good evening everyone and happy Tuesday :)

This ep is a fav of mine. I know there isn’t a ton of Chenford content. But the amount of goodies we get for both Tim and Lucy is so good. Its what I love about them they’re amazing together and separate. Obviously prefer them together but this is a fantastic separated ep. Not a ton of gifs so it'll be partially gifs mostly caps. Also this is a longer one since they BOTH have good SL's in this one.

2x07 Safety.

The cold open is adorable. Tim would hate that phrasing but it’s true. I love sports so I get that excitement and happiness when your team does well. Look how happy he is. When the Rams won the Super Bowl a little while back I thought I bet Tim is thrilled LOL He is happy till a high speed pursuit interrupts his game. He sees the car chase is by his house. So in natural Tim fashion he heads outside to deal with it.

He is sexy af in this scene. That badge around his neck as he calls dispatch and logs in some OT. Then climbs into his truck backs up to block the guy and dispatches of the chase quickly. Gets the guy out of the car and on the ground very fast. Once he’s done drives back into his driveway so he can finish watching the game. Classic. Love this man. So cute jumping up and down cause they won. Damn he cute.

Roll call is upon them and Grey’s initiative today is community policing. Angela is out because she’s taking care of a recovering Wesley. (She ends up taking a side gig protecting a turd and his diamonds) Nolan gets a gig at the hospital leaving Harper open. Grey pairs Jackson with Tim and Lucy with Harper.

Lucy looks nervous af as she looks back at Nyla. I get why she has only seen bits and pieces of Harper. Those pieces they’ve been intense. Reminds me of when Nolan was paired with Tim. Just a little bit of terror in her eyes. It’s such a good ep for them both though. Their scenes are why it’s one of my fav eps.

Grey says Tim/Jackson get the football community gig with the Rams and Lucy/Harper get the community council. Harper makes a crack about it being the 1950’s. The boys get football practice and the girls get the PTA meeting. Grey says fair enough. Only one way to settle this. Challenge Coins. They both have coins from impressive things they’ve done. Tim says he got his from the Chief personally. He’s so cute and proud. Harper being Harper tops him. Says that’s nice. Hers is from the Governor. Tim rolls his eyes haha

Whoever slides theirs across the table closest to the edge wins. Lucy is adorable and in wifey mode already with her phone. Ready to capture the moment for him. I love how he looks over at her first before propelling his. Also his little butt wiggle I can not. Her matching his body posture is fantastic. An exact mirror really so she doesn’t miss a thing. They cute. I love them. Tim loses but Harper doesn’t want football anyways. I swear she did it just to make a point with Grey and mess with Tim.

Poor Lucy bombs right off the bat with Harper. Asking her if she needs anything. Harper looks at her and says 'Officer...?' Lucy happily says Chen. Nyla is her charming self and tells her she’s not going to use her name. That today she’s Not Nolan. Lucy asks John if he has any tips to get on her good side. Nolan makes a crack that he’s not sure she has one LOL You’ll get there. I dare say Lucy and Harper end up closer than her and John ever were, but that is much farther down the road.

First off let’s enjoy how ecstatic Tim looks to be at football practice. He is in one of his happy places right now. The man is radiating joy. It’s so cute. They’re watching practice and see a kid named AJ. How he is easily the best kid on the field. The director says that’s not what matters. His grades were trash before this program. Now he’s on the honor roll. They wave him over. Tim “grills” AJ on his work ethic, drills. and such its adorable. Clearly in his element talking to this kid. (Their scenes in this episode are primo)

AJ’s mom shows up and pulls him over. Director tells them she was just released from prison. Been hard transition for them both. She was in for armed robbery with a serious heist crew. Cute little scene with Tim and Eric Weddle. Eric giving Tim crap for giving up football for the service. Jackson is geeking out next to him its pretty cute. Tim tells him not to make it weird when he bro hugs Eric Weddle LMFAO

Love them having another shot at a pair up. It goes much better this time. They see AJ and his mom fight and walk over. Ask if everything is ok... I mean clearly it’s not. She doesn't answer them. Instead she drags AJ away from practice. They can tell something is wrong they’re just not sure what yet.

Back at the station Lucy and Harper are prepping for their meeting. Nyla tells her to keep this short and simple. Don’t promise anybody anything. Just to tell them ‘We’re aware of the problem and have a task force on it.’ Lucy questions that a bit but Harper says they’ll love that buzzword. She has Lucy lead the meeting. Poor Lucy she is not in the least prepared to do this. At first it works Nyla’s line. Lucy tells first guy verbatim what she’s supposed to. He takes her at her word and sits down. Harper looks proud from the other side of the room.

Then things quickly go sideways for her rapidly. A woman tells her that her neighbor keeps feeding the squirrels. Lucy tries the line again and fails. She questions Lucy and says 'A squirrel task force?' I can't blame her haha The lady tells her she’s worried about her dogs cause squirrels attract coyotes. Lucy’s empathy kicks in and gets her in trouble with Nyla. Tells's her to give her the address of her neighbor. Then she is bombarded with tasks.

Tim and Jackson meet Aj and his mom at their home. Just to make sure everything is copacetic. They can quickly see that it is not. Tim asks AJ if everything is ok. Seeing if he can get to him. It’s obvious that she’s trying to leave town with him. Before they can delve into why she’s leaving the car gets fire bombed. Clearly a targeted attack. Tim and Jackson get them to safety before calling it in.

Jackson takes AJ's mom to the side for questioning and Tim checks in on AJ. I love this scene. Getting to see that soft side Lucy has brought out so much. She would be so happy to watch him with AJ. How well he bonds with him and tries to get him to open up. (wonder how he honed that skill in..) Tim starts off with tossing his football with him. He starts to build his rapport by telling him he’s talented. AJ replies says how his football is always with him. How much he loves to practice. Tim is soft in his reply says it sounds like him with how much he loves the sport. The dedication to get better.

We’re about to get some background on Tim and I love it. Tim tells him in some ways the game saved him. AJ's interest is piqued. He asks Tim how so? Tim tells AJ growing up in his house was a bit chaotic. (Oh how understated that is my love) If you don’t know his backstory already at this point you get a sense his childhood was turbulent.

He empathizes with this kid. Relates to him and it’s written all over their scenes. It’s such a good episode for him. AJ says he knows a little something about that. Tim continues on to build rapport with him. Lets AJ know how his father was testy. Tim never knew what was going to set him off. That football was the only place he felt like he had control. I just love getting this insight into him as a character. Piece by piece we get to see why Tim is the way he is.

This shows us why he needs control like he does. (I.e. always driving the shop and Lucy not doing so) The Tim tests are a product of this as well. His way of controlling his environment and training since he didn't have that growing up. He does everything for a reason. We’re all products of the environment we grew up in. It leaves marks on us whether we like it or not. I could go on and on about him. Very passionate about his character and what makes him tick. His growth. Eric portrays him so well I could go on and on about that too but I won’t haha

AJ agrees again with saying he too relates to that. Football is where he has most control as well. Tim continues on to let him know he gets it. Football taught him teamwork, discipline and it wasn’t just a game for him. (It makes sense why he enlisted. He got everything from the service he loved about football) AJ then asks what game they’re playing now? We connect then I rat on my mom? Tim instantly says 'I would never ask you to do that.' You can see the change in AJ. He knows Tim is being genuine. He just hands him his card. Tells him to call him if he needs anything.

We return to Lucy and Harper responding to one of the many complaints they got. ‘Vagrants in the sewers.’ Harper is none to pleased about it. Says they're going fishing in the arm pit of L.A. Lucy tries to do her optimism thing. Saying isn’t this what community policing should be? Helping like this? Nyla shuts it down and says no it’s what she tells her it should be. That Lucy doesn’t want to be good at those meetings. Lucy asks why? Harper crushes her a bit more by saying if the higher ups see that it'll be all they’ll ever let her do…

They make it deep into the sewer when they find couple meth tweakers. This scene is hard to watch for how beat down Lucy is in this scene. Not just physically but that self esteem Tim has been trying to build up crumbling a bit due to it. They get attacked and Lucy has Harper's back while she cuffs one of them. Lucy is attacked by the second tweaker and overtaken. Harper jumps in to save her. Lucy thanks her but Nyla is livid she had to do so. Tells her those community meetings are all she’s good for. (Too mean Nyla too mean)

It’s not the reaction I expected from Harper first time I watched it. Then rewatching like I have it’s what she needed. Little harsher than I would’ve liked, but needed for the message she ends up delivering. Lucy is upset while the guys get hauled away. Harper picks up on it and ask her if she has something on her mind? At first Lucy says no. Harper snarks back 'That's what I thought.' Lucy snaps and tells Nyla she is wrong about her. Harper isn’t convinced in the least.

Lucy fights back says she’s more than those meetings. Harper continues the harshness and replies she must be really good at paperwork.... Then she tacks on that she can’t fight. Lucy tells her she can she’s won a lot of fights. Harper says not this one. Lucy bites back he was huge. That it wasn't fair he was much bigger than her. Harper shoots her down again. Says she took him down and his buddy.

Harper is getting under Lucy’s skin and she knows it. Says Lucy wants to hit her. That she can see it in her eyes. Tells Lucy to hit her. Lucy bawks and can't believe she's asking her to do this. Nyla shoves her to rile her up. Tells her come at her like that tweaker came after her. Lucy is pissed enough and does and quickly fails. Lucy is on her ass in seconds. Now Nyla is brutal but her message at its core is sound. Tells Lucy to stay down and get used to that position. Being a woman in uniform is anything but fair. That contrary to belief she is not a 6’2 180 lb man.

Unfortunately this isn’t gif’ed it's too bad it's such a good scene. Harper goes on to tell her ‘Tim might be a good T.O. but he can’t teach her to fight like a girl.’ She's not wrong. Nyla continues on that they get a higher show of force especially from men. That when she’s alone against a desperate suspect and she’s between them and their freedom she can’t be thinking 'Oh my he’s bigger than me.'

Harper helps her up. Tells her if she’s going to survive the streets as a 5’6 woman and one of color no less, she better be willing to learn what these boys don’t know how to teach (one of the best lines of the scene) Harpers impact on Lucy is immense. It’s not kind at first because Nyla isn’t in that place yet. She is a wrecking ball emotionally. Not her softest approach but her message like I said is sound in its logic. Lucy needs to know things she had no idea she needed until today. Why her pairing up with Nyla benefits her so much. Doesn't feel like it right now but it really does.

Lucy tries to mend fences when they get back to station. It’s who she is. I would be same way. Tries to make a joke about the meeting. How she should've listened to Harper's way of it. She gets no reply then tries to ask about her challenge coin. Harper calls her on the chit chat. Lucy is then upfront and tells her she wants to learn the job the way Harper does it.

Lucy is smart and can see the logic of what Harper was telling her. Tim is great for her but he can’t teach her what Harper knows. Nyla sadly doesn’t take her olive branch. Tells her not to be like her. Lucy commends her career and all she’s done. Harper tells her wasn't worth what she lost. That she doesn’t even want to be her. Oh Nyla you broken soul.

AJ shows up to station using Tim’s card like he was hoping he would. Tells Tim and Jackson his mom left for an errand and never came back. He’s worried something has happened to her. Tim asks him to be straight with them. That he’s stressed he gets it but can’t help her if he doesn’t. He tells them she had been hounded lately by her ex-BF to help be a getaway driver. Said he would kill AJ if she didn’t. They start to get a search grid going for her. Tim is so sweet puts his hand on his shoulder tells him it’ll be ok. I love this.

Harper is jealous Tim and Jackson are squaring off against a heist crew. She asks Lucy what they’re doing at this house. Her reply is too funny. ‘Talk to neighbor about feeding squirrels…’ Harper tells her to stay in the shop. She goes to the door solo and talks to him. She notices his hand is messed up and is instantly suspicious. Harper returns and tells Lucy to run background check.

They look him up and Harper thinks it’s the UCLA bomber. Lucy tells her they’ll need DNA. Tries to call in a warrant and Harper says no. Just needs his trash. They don't need a warrant to do a lawful search of that. Lucy starts her redemption and says Harper will need a distraction then.

Lucy knocks on the door pretending to be someone informing people about drought resistant plants. (her first mini UC) Guy isn't interested but she is persistent. Asks if she can have some water to buy Harper more time. Harper accidentally tears the bag of garbage as she is leaving. He spots Nyla outside the window and arms the floor. We hear the pressure plates click in to place.

Leaving Lucy stuck inside with his armed floor. We hear Nyla call for her (uses her last name BTW. )Lucy warns Harper to get the bomb squad. Tells her the house is armed and he’s rigging a bomb. Then is a total bad ass. Uses those worn spots she notices on his hardwood floor as her map. She slowly navigates the floor to the back room where he’s rigging a big bomb.

After she stops him from arming the bomb she throws him out the window. Harper sees them exit. You know she just proved to Nyla how good she is under pressure. Also how smart she is. She got into the house no problem with her ruse, navigated her way out, and nabbed him before he set bomb off. Nyla asks if she’s gonna puke and she says no. Then does poor girl. All that adrenaline I can’t imagine.

Lucy catches Harper before she leaves. Tells her it was nice working with her today. Nyla is kind and says me too. We see that growth kicking in. Tells Lucy she was wrong to discourage her today. Tells her to goes as far as she wants in this job. That she can be a cop like her but to be better. Tells her she’s has what it takes ‘Not Nolan’ ha

Lucy doing what she does best calling people out. Tells Harper she heard her call her Chen back at the house. Says she knows Harper knows her name haha Harper respects it and she gets a smile out of Nyla. Even John hasn’t gotten that LOL Lucy asks her if she can ask her advice from time to time. She gets a much better response this time and says 'Sure just not all the time' haha She has a rep to protect hehe. So begins a beautiful friendship.

Tim can teach her a lot of what she needs to know truly he can. But he can not teach the wisdom Nyla ends up teaching her. How to handle herself as a female cop. Talia missed the mark so badly with Lucy on that. Nyla truly capitalizes on this moving forward. Harper is exactly what Lucy needed. A strong bad ass female role model she could lean on from time to time. She is apart of the development of the Confident BAMF Lucy that we have today. One of the reasons I adore her character so much. Why I love this ep a lot as well. So good.

Tim and Jackson save AJ’s mom from the heist that takes place. Angela luckily happened to be guarding the target as an off duty side gig. It was wrapped up nicely. They were able to keep AJ's mom from being charged since she was coerced. The ending is super sweet. Get to see Tim/Jackson playing with AJ. His mom watching on. Tim looks so happy and once again in his element. Bragging about how he was one of the top QBs in the state. Eric Weddle shows back up gives Tim crap. Says his interceptions were always perfect spirals ha

Ep ends super sweet Tim/AJ squaring off against Eric and Jackson. Lots of trash talking snd cuteness haha Perfect way to end the SL. Love this so for them individually so very much. Tim for showing his compassion and sharing his past with AJ. Lucy for growing and learning about herself as a cop. Harper becoming an ally for her is huge.

Fantastic episode. Thanks to all who continue to like/comment (love me some comments), and reblog. You are amazing and I appreciate you all.

~~~~~

Side notes-Non chenford

Not really much two main SLs were Tim and Lucy separately. So I will say I did like Nolan and the doctor. They had a good background and chemistry. Too bad they didn't work out.

Shall see you all in 2x08 :)

[that-ari-blogger]

Get Ready (No Good Deed)

Joseph Campbell is famous for writing The Hero With A Thousand Faces, in which he put forward the concept of the Hero’s Journey, or Monomyth. This, boiled down, is a series of plot beats that most stories ever written hit in some way or another, at least to Campbell.

Campbell is one of my favourite literary scholars to disagree with, but one thing that I believe he got right was the idea that he called “The Belly Of The Whale”. This has gone on to become the darkest hour trope, a moment when everything seems lost before the protagonist picks themself up.

In Wicked, the story of Elphaba picking herself up is told by the song No Good Deed, which dwells on the emotional low, but also the resolution she makes as a result. This song changes the trajectory of the entire musical, and is a masterclass in writing a threat.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD (Wicked, Avatar: The Last Airbender)

“Eleka nahmen nahmen ah tum ah tum eleka nahmen.”

The song opens with gibberish, it’s inspired by Greek, Latin, Italian, and other languages. But it is bastardised to sound more mystical. Like a language that could be true but isn’t.

It’s also weird when it comes to the phonetics. Each of the words (I’m counting “ah tum” as one word for this) takes up the same time to say aloud, but the “ah” is naturally drawn out because more stress is being put onto it. It forms a rhythm similar to a horse’s galloping, implying motion.

Keep an eye on that, this song is all about motion.

That actually translates into the plot of the wider musical. This song is changing the tone of the story as a whole, pushing it into a tale of revolution.

The conflict of this story is brought on by the “death” of Fiyero and Elphaba’s love. Achieving change and achieving personal happiness are not compatible in this story, at least not for Elphaba.

But incompatibility is an important theme here. Elphaba has been trying to achieve things in her way. She tried to enact change through the Wizard, and when he turned out to be a schmuck, she tried to help people, stir up change and hope that good deeds get rewarded by fate.

I have mentioned in the past that Glinda and Elphaba’s relationship was characterised by the former being the more world wise and Elphaba being naive. That’s what Popular is about. However, this is a change of status quo, paired with Glinda’s rendition of I’m Not That Girl, showing the reversal of that dynamic. Now Elphaba is truly cynical, and her eyes are opened to how the world works, and Glinda has been fooling herself the entire time.

In the opening of this blog, I referenced Campbell’s “The Belly Of The Whale” concept. The name of that is actually a reference to a biblical tale, in which a prophet uses the inside of a fish as free transport and therapy.

I want to draw that biblical reference back in here. Do you notice anything about how Elphaba’s wishes are phrased?

“Let his flesh not be torn Let his blood leave no stain Though they beat him Let him feel no pain Let his bones never break And however they try To destroy him Let him never die Let him never die”

Do those remind anyone else of the opening of Genesis?

“And G-d said, let there be light. And there was light.” Genesis 1:3

There is a very specific wording here that evokes that biblical concept of divinity. In the Bible, the only people and entities that speak in this way are either G-d, people talking about G-d, or people praying. No Good Deed is explicitly drawing on that speech pattern to imply the divine symbolism with Elphaba.

This isn’t the first time the musical has done this. I keep referencing older posts that I have made in this series on Wicked, but that’s because the musical does set up and payoff really well, and I have to talk about callbacks. But, my first post in this series was titled The Gospel of Elphaba, and I did that for a reason.

One of Wicked’s most interesting story techniques is its biblical allusion. Elphaba is explicitly framed as divine in this song, but also by how she is referred to in a few other places. This has the effect of implying a change in history. Elphaba’s life will change Oz for good, and this is the story of how that happened.

Now, I am not a Christian, I am coming at this from the angle of study and having lived in a very Christian environment for most of my life. So, while I am trying to treat this with the respect befitting any faith, I want to stress that I am far from a perfect, definite source on anything related to Christianity.

I've brought up this artwork by @abd-illustrates (youtube) before, when I was talking about Defying Gravity. But the piece is about No Good Deed, and its so amazingly well done, coming from a place of obvious love for the song and the musical, that there was no chance that I would miss a chance to show it again.

On a different note, the things that Elphaba wishes for in this song are vague as all hell, and the implication of Fiyero being turned into the scarecrow because the lawyers found a loophole in his resurrection contract is neat.

That implication is really important for the theming of the story, and it happened earlier on in the musical when Boq became the tin man. The magic expresses the theme of consequences rather concisely. Nobody knows what effect they will have on the world and on history, you can just try to make the world a better place, no matter what people think of you.

In other words:

“Was I really seeking good Or just seeking attention?”

Intentions don’t matter, actions do. The second verse of this song dwells on this question, asking if Elphaba’s morals were what she thought they were and what that means for her.

The conclusion drawn is that it doesn’t matter. Elphaba, despite breaking free physically from her society’s constraints, is still following them emotionally. She still believes in the ideas of good and evil that she has been presented with, and now she resolves to take a different approach. If wicked is what they call her, wicked she shall be.

The music of the song itself feels like a fight. It feels like it has the eb and flow of a boxing match, with Elphaba’s vocals falling to match her being struck, and rising for her blows.

For example, here the higher note on “charity” combines with an accent to feel like an attack, with the slope matching the follow up and ease of tension.

Although, if you are perceptive, you will notice that this is a solo, and that Elphaba isn’t actually fighting anyone, so what gives?

I have two readings for this. In the first, Elphaba is declaring war on Oz, essentially, so the fight is the warmup to that. This is posturing, it's a threat. It’s Elphaba’s Bitter Work moment.

For context, Bitter Work is one of the best episodes of Avatar: The Last Airbender and, fun fact, my introduction to the series (I was very young, I thought the movie was cool, I got three seconds into the series and realised how wrong I was). In the episode in question, Zuko is wrestling with his identity in relation to the world, and to his father. He doesn’t know who to be, or how to proceed.

The episode then follows Zuko as he tries and fails to learn a new type of bending (magic in everything but name), culminating with him standing on a cliff, screaming for lightning to strike him because he thinks he can finally throw it back. Its self-destructive, and it's a character on the very edge, lashing out at everyone, including himself, in a desperate attempt for control.

Does that sound familiar? That’s exactly where Elphaba is when she sings No Good Deed, on the edge, looking for control.

The second reading is that Elphaba is arguing with herself about what to do. Part of her wants to run and hide, but the part that is singing is trying to convince her to stay. That she needs to change.

Wicked is a story about dreams and reality colliding, and this is Elphaba’s speech to the troops on the side of hope. Unfortunately for her, the entire army consists of one person, herself.

The idea of Elphaba’s internal struggle is reflected in the inconsistency of the music. Wicked likes to mess around with key signatures and time signatures, with Thank Goodness taking the concept to its breaking point. But No Good Deed has, by my count, four different key signatures, and three different time signatures.

The first chorus follows the Wicked formula of being understated. It’s rhythmical, and balanced in 4/4 time to give it a self contained vibe.

This conveys a feeling of speeding up and slowing down, as she rushes into decisions, then hesitates. Wicked has done this in previous songs already, and I have discussed them, but its a neat thing to see repeated here.

Elphaba seemingly makes her decision, however, belting out the song’s name. But then she falters, and the key changes to b majour. To me, this evokes a feeling of happiness, which doesn’t really square with the lyrics.

Except, I would argue that it does. Nessa and Doctor Dillamond are the two people she was closest to, and they are gone now. They were to hallmarks of her old life, and this feels like her reminiscing about a better time. The other name that comes up here is Fiyero, but that quickly shifts.

Jessica Vosk plays this scene like Elphaba is seeing ghosts, speaking the names as if she is seeking advice from the departed. It's a really cool acting choice.

Grief is a powerful motivator, and Fiyero was the last person that Elphaba had left over from her previous life. Even Glinda has left her, and now that grief bubbles over into a war cry.

In the version of Wicked that I saw most recently, Elphaba was played by Sheridan Adams, who put a little bit of flair into that final call, rising slightly, then flowing down to keep the momentum into the chorus. I don't know what this is called, so if any music scholars who understand my extremely limited and vague explanations here, please help me out.

“Let all Oz be agreed, I’m wicked through and through. Since I cannot succeed. Fiyero, saving you. I promise no good deed Will I attempt to do again. Ever again. No good deed Will I do Again!”

The final chorus of this song is a revelation. It gains momentum by alternating between 4/4 and 3/4 to gain that rocking rhythm like a ship in a storm. But I want to go a bit weird here and talk about the rhyming scheme.

There are two main rhyming sets here, “deed” and “do”, and they alternate in an ABAB pattern and are reminiscent of classical poetry.

Agreed, through, succeed, you, deed, do. Again, Again. Deed, do, again.

Annapantsu's cover of this song is phenomenal and manages to capture the magnitude of both the story and the musical really well. I highly recommend you check it out.

Classics were often about big emotions. Romanticism springs to mind, for example, although that was a movement defined by a desire for freedom of expression, which plays into the themes of Wicked exactly. How convenient.

However, the scheme is broken up by the repeated word “again”, which juxtaposes the idea of classicism with change. The force with which Elphaba interrupts her own rhythm makes the line seem as though it is a threat. Elphaba’s desire for freedom is coming for Oz, whether anyone likes it or not.

Elphaba has snapped, and things will never be the same in oz again. Never again.

Final Thoughts

This song is iconic, and that is well deserved. We are ramping up to the finale of the musical, and the story is gathering speed.

As a side note, I genuinely love how Wicked subverts the prequel pitfall of explaining everything, not by avoiding doing that, but by making that its whole thing. Boq’s transformation into the Tin Man works with the story as told in The Wonderful Wizard of Oz because it comes close to what the Tin Man explains, but frames him as an unreliable narrator.

Similarly, Fiyero’s lack of anything going on behind his eyes is superficial, and when he becomes the Scarecrow, that superficiality carries over. Like Boq, he is reframed as an unreliable narrator, but not through selfishness, and instead through a secret desire to help the Wicked Witch out. Also, the fact that he is the captain of the guard kinda explains why he rocks up to the final battle of the The Wizard Of Oz movie with a gun.

Next week, I am looking at For Good, and trying to justify why I cannot make it through listening to it without crying. Seriously, I am always a wreck at the end of the Wicked soundtrack, and I blame this song.

So stick around if that interests you.

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[moodymisty]

Hi! Anon that wrote the huge ask about the yandere Night Lord (and implied yandere Salamander) scenario (the one with the in between pink coloured words), Ive been having thoughts about it again. And you know, the whole Knight fighting a Dragon dynamic becomes really funny when you think about how narrative-wise, all space marines are dragons.

A space marines, just like dragons. Are big huge monstercreatures who (in most cases) randomly arrive into a settlement of innocent people and wreak havoc all over the place (destroying cities, killing innocents, probably stealing some stuff if its a xenos settlement, and so on and so forth). They’re powerful, clever, and very hard to kill. You must kill them nonetheless. But the only difference between them and dragons is that space marines are, theoretically, on your side. They’re humanised enough for you to overlook the atrocities they commit. They’re doing this because it will help out humanity in the long term, they’re doing this because their primarch said so, they’re doing this because they think its right. But in the end it all boils down to how they have no other option, or a better way of phrasing it: its all that they can do. They’re made to kill. They’ve been irreparably transformed into something horrible and theres no going back from that, and its not like they had any choice in the matter either. You could even say that this mirrors the trope of someone’s greed and ego being the cause of a dragon to appear in a story (that someone in question being The Emperor)

So i find it kind of funny that in this scenario the Salamander sees himself as a knight. Like babe! You’re no different from any other space marine!! The fact that his legion interacts with people more doesn’t change who he is. He has just convinced himself that what he is, is noble. Like he’s some sort of symbol of hope and strength instead of being a walking talking murder weapon. He’s a dragon thats been brought up to think his scales are chainmail and that his claws are swords, that he’s totally not like his traitorous cousins, that he’s humanity’s loyal house dog instead of a fire breathing beast chained to a leash.

Yes he is fighting to save you, yes he loves you more than words could ever express. But to an outsiders perspective this isn’t a brave hero battling a monster to save his beloved, its two serpents fighting over the most sparkling jewel in a treasure hoard

I vehemently adore all of this. Particularly the part about how they think of themselves; As from their view of the story, they're the hero, but another might view them as the villain. Forgive my unfiltered, unrevised ramblings.

It reminds me of a moment from (I believe it was Unremembered Empire? forgive me if I'm wrong) where the Night Lords are waging war on Macragge and the civilians are seeing other Astartes besides the Ultramarines in action for the first time and realizing that, holy shit, these guys are actually horrifying. And looking at their 'protectors' in a whole new light. The Ultramarines proclaim they're different because they choose to be, but we've seen before that even the friendliest of space marines can change their tune when they feel it appropriate.

But back on topic. Salamanders.

Something relevant would be that even their beloved might possibly view them as that brave hero, at first. But as time goes on, they might see cracks in that visage and realize that the man guarding them is more beast than man, holding back a near animalistic desire for carnage. We know that even the most loving of Salamander is more than capable of being an emotionless killer when he desires it. Hell, you could even say it's a core part of them; It's not like you can muzzle a dragon. You can at best point them in the direction you want them to go.

Your Salamander might spare you some of the goriest of details, or the darkest parts of him, but you can see the tail wrapped around you, and how you're kept so close not only because of your safety, but also because he sees you as his. You're the treasure he's found, you're the jewel that rests on top of a pile of gold, and you're not going anywhere. He always looks at you(his treasure) fondly, but there's a possessiveness in his eyes that only gets worse over time.

Other Salamanders are seen as threats and thieves if they get too close. He's the hero of this story, duty bound to protect you even if he has to get his hands bloody. It's all for a purpose, therefor he's leagues different than the Night Lords that act as his chapter's opposite.

If you ever have to do your job or duty, and interact with other Salamanders or other members of humanity he's always right there; Guarding his treasure. And while he might technically be on a leash, it's extremely taught.