#that first screenshot in particular always cracks me up

[cilant-lis]

he's on the verge of tears 23 and a half hours per day

[six-eyed-samurai]

DIALING...

Silly reasons the Tokyo Rev Boys have dialed you for based off…actual reasons…people have called me for…

🌸Takemitchy calls you for conversation, which suddenly turns to school and "WAIT DON'T WE HAVE A TEST TOMORROW?". Obviously the both of you panic and whip out your books, meaning to study together via phone call but also simultaneously realize you've forgotten the topic...and which class it was for. The rest of the call is just sitting in panicked silence, punctuated with the occasional "We're so screwed."

🌸It’s canon Izana plays guitar! Do you ever think he writes his own songs as well? Maybe, and that's why he calls you in the middle of the night to tell you about it, wanna hear it, oh am I bothering you, it's fine you don't have to listen now (and you'll say “I SAID I'D LISTEN TO IT AND I WILL KUROKAWA NOW SING.”), any suggestions for improvements? And then somehow it spirals into the both of you doing your utmost best to be off key, off tune and completely ruin the song with as many voice cracks as possible.

🌸Chifuyu, bless his heart, calls you out of the blue with no prior warning, at an inconvenient time and scares you enough for a heart attack, but he doesn't realize it, too intent on forcing you to watch the latest anime trailer for the both of your favourite manga with him after you say you can't load the video. He’s downright scandalized, and in his defense he did text you about what he was going to do - only you hadn’t understood he meant call as in call now. I mean, at least the both of you got a kick out of it as he shares his screen, so win-win?

🌸I think Inupi would call you for no particular reason other than to be in your company. You both don't say much but somehow the call spirals to a three hour dial. Whenever one of you gets up you'll flip the camera to show the other where you’re going or what you’re doing. Inupi likes to think it’s like the both of you are having lunch together, doing that jigsaw puzzle together, doing the dishes together…it’s alright if you spend two thirds of the time in silence, your company is enough for him.

🌸Koko calls you for a venting session! He rants about the idiots he’s encountered, his worries, the gang, money problems, boasts on how much he’s made today, stuff he’s bought you, anything really. He knows he could’ve just texted you about it but it’s a lot more personal for him if you pick up and reply back talking, but occasionally he does feel bad he keeps calling you - although you assure him you love it! You do, really, because in turn you get to vent about whatever’s on your mind and Koko always has the best reactions (damn if that girl hasn’t been an absolute bxxch, nooo, she did what now?). He’s like a gal pal and a boyfriend combined.

🌸You’re the one to call Baji, actually, because it’s the only way to get him to study with you if you’re not free to go to his place. You put up with his complaining and force him to answer a bunch of quizzes. The study session goes great for the first half….then somehow you both get sidetracked when Baji says he’s bored and leaves to make yakisoba. You make him take the phone with him and it could’ve been romantic, both of you making noodles from your ends of the line! But no, Baji ends up getting distracted flirting with you and overcooks it into a mushy mess that has you gagging and hanging up on him.

🌸Ran and you call for normal-people reasons like chatting or studying, but more often than not Ran’s childish nature has him more interested in playing with the phone call’s filters (if let’s say you’re using apps like Instagram) and making you pose with him before screenshotting - by the way, you’re the one doing that, because Ran has TERRIBLE timing when it comes to taking photos. If there’s those filters that let you draw on your screen self, oh man does Ran love doodling moustaches, beards, cat ears, the whole gig. If you don’t call him handsome he gets pouty and threatens to hang up or leak that ugly screenshot of you when the phone froze from lag.

🌸With no apology to your ears, Sanzu will call you at 3 a.m. in the morning to either a) make the most terrifying/fart noises known to mankind or b) bombard you with meaningless philosophical questions that made you get out of bed and actually Google them. Of course he doesn’t do this all the time, mostly when he’s high as a kite. Yet you KNOW for a fact he’s sober that night when he suddenly dialed your number and when you picked up, dead silent until the most unholiest rendition of your favorite song is being sung (read: screamed) out. You yelp and hang up, but not before you hear him cackling.

🌸He’s the sort to honestly forget to call you but when he does Mikey makes the call drag on for hours because he has his ways of making you not hang up, but the times he DOES remember to call you is after you tell him no, you can’t eat twenty five dorayaki in one go, I’m not paying for that. He’ll be feeling petty and when he gets his hands on dorayaki he calls you for no other reason than to chew it as loudly as possible next to the microphone so you get the Mikey Premium Dessert ASMR. If you hang up he’s sending voice recordings.

[animehouse-moe]

Well, Tumblr decided to bug out on me and I've now lost the original question that was asked, but someone had asked for my favorite series (be it manga/anime/movies/Tv/etc), and this was my response.

(first of all, so sorry for losing the question! I should have taken a screenshot or something when Tumblr wouldn't let me post)

It's all good, I enjoy getting these types of questions because they make me think about this stuff haha. I'm not one to really do well with the idea of favorites, so having to pin down stuff like this can be interesting for me!

That said, for this one I might just stick with anime for the list to make it a little easier. I can definitely do a top ten of manga or other stuff later on though. Also, this list will be in no particular order because I'd be stuck forever trying to figure out a satisfying order for them.

Sonny Boy

I think it's a very fair point to argue, that at this stage in his career, Sonny Boy is Shingo Natsume's magnum opus. There's just not much else to it. It's a series that he created, from his own mind and talent, and he executed on that. There are very, very few people that work in anime that can manage a feat such as that. In terms of story, I don't have any issue with claiming Sonny Boy is the pinnacle of high school storytelling. It stretches the fabric of reality so far that you might struggle to claim that it's about high school, but the longer that you spend with it, the more undeniable a fact it becomes. Or maybe you could generalize it to the human condition, or how the cracks in society will fester and form no matter the condition, or how authority will always appear in a self-serving manner, or this or that or any concept under the sun.

Terror In Resonance

Call me crazy, but there's quite a few reasons why this is the Shinichiro Watanabe anime for me. Bebop and Champloo have rose colored glasses that adorn every fan in the community, so I feel like it's hard to really take a proper look at it compared to Terror In Resonance (even though it has a similar amount of users on MAL). As a Mappa project, it is simply the best they've ever been from start to finish. As a concept, Watanabe's approach is impeccable as it examines the frustration and sorrow of displaced children in a society that never wanted them. It's powerful, concise, and from start to finish an incredibly focused series filled with some of the crowning achievements of animators in the industry. Seriously. Takashi Hashimoto, the animator for this cut, actually did all the math to calculate the speed of the smoke as it fell and moved. Some of the best work you'll see on an anime.

Vivy: Fluorite Eye's Song

I am a big, big fan of Tappei Nagatsuki's work, so being able to experience an anime that is entirely his vision of the work is really impressive. It's one of the biggest struggles with artists, I find. Understanding their work through different mediums. What you see as an anime is not what they created as a manga, or light novel. But this is different, it is Nagatsuki's (and Umehara's) sole vision, the entire intent behind their creativity. And WIT knocked it out of the park to an insane degree. As a post-AoT studio, they showed just how far they can push their creativity and execution on a series beyond human. Incredible story, incredible animation, arguably some of the best hand to hand combat we've seen in an anime in a very long time. It's just that good.

Cyberpunk: Edgerunners

Maybe you see a trend going on with my picks, and while yes it's partly recency bias, it's also a gravitation towards anime originals. I'll add a piece to that at the end, but this is about Edgerunners right now. I was in high school when the video game was first announced. That's a decade ago, now. I played the shit out of 2077 when it dropped, and I'm absolutely eating up Phantom Liberty currently. It is then, absolutely no surprise, that I've placed Edgerunners on a pedestal. But of course, there's also a reason that Edgerunners is in the top 100 anime on MAL, and why it's Trigger's highest rated anime. It's just that damn good. An incredible story revolving around Night City and the themes that Mike Pondsmith laid the groundwork for decades ago. A true tribute to the tabletop game and the genre at large.

The Tatami Galaxy

I don't think there's a way I couldn't put The Tatami Galaxy on this list, truthfully. Of course, that also encompasses the sequel ONA The Time Machine Blues, and spinoffs like The Night Is Short, Walk on Girl. Tomohiko Morimi is a genius, Yusuke Nakamura is an icon, and Masaaki Yuasa is a savant. Incredible work for such an incredible story and message about the pursuit of perfection and the beauty that lies in the present. Arguably, much like titles such as Sonny Boy, these are 100% must watch titles for an anime fan. I'd highly recommend the others still, but these two represent such core and important aspects to how people choose to lead their lives and the frameworks that they do so within, that I strongly believe it's a requirement. I also wrote a review on the novel when I read it in January of this year.

Heike Monogatari

I think history is a very important thing to understand. I also think that history can be presented as obtuse, disinteresting, or too literal - especially in relation to history stories or myths. Heike Monogatari by Science Saru is arguably one of the greatest examples of how to display a modernized version of such a foundational tale to the history of Japan. It's also an incredibly powerful moment for the director, Naoko Yamada, as it was their first real work since the arson attacks on her home studio of Kyoto Animation. Because of the weight of her past, her work beyond words on this anime feels that much more powerful considering its messages about the past and fear of the future. It's wonderfully emotional, and contains one of my favorite closing scenes to a series.

The Saga of Tanya The Evil

Light novel aside, anime quality aside (though both are great), there's a separate reason this title is featured on this list: the adaptation. It is, for lack of a better term, borderline insane as an adaptation. It bears almost no similarity to its source. The tone is different, the scope and scale differ, there's significant changes in terms of narrative, and even the order of large scale events differs. But still, somehow, it remains a fantastic series. Bearing nearly zero resemblance to what it claims to adapt, it is something that I love. It's an incredible feat, and the gold standard of its one-of-a-kind approach to adapting a light novel.

Mononoke

Horror is a very hard thing to do right, at least in my opinion. Many get suckered into thriller territory very quickly, and avoid the psychological nature of horror. The immovable nature of something fearful standing in front of you, the slow descent into madness and despair. Mononoke grasps that incredibly well, and earns a spot on this list because of it's appeal in that manner. Also, the art is just incredible, personifying the more classical style that would be associated with the creatures and myths that pepper the story. I'm incredibly excited to see what comes from the upcoming movie.

Welcome To The N.H.K

While it may differ between its three formats, the core of the story stands strong. Impossible to put into words, it's more of a descent than anything. A descent that turns inwards on each of the characters as they slowly lose their grip on reality, as they continue to fall apart, piece by piece. I have my qualms about how they choose to end it, but I am a very bitter man at my core so it's more a personal difference than a quality one. Regardless, if you want an acid trip down the rabbit hole of depression, mania, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, and all manner of other illness, there's no better story than Welcome To The N.H.K.

Toradora!

There's something special about Toradora to me. Is it the era that the anime comes from? Is it the appeal to a classic style of romance without falling prey to the issues of the layout? I'm unsure. But something about it feels so… comfortable, to me. I could watch it again and again and enjoy each minute. It's probably not the best romance anime out there, but it's one that I'll always be drawn to.

And with that, the list is over. Just to provide some extra context and honorable mentions, I'd love to have put series like Alien 9 or Monogatari on the list, but the challenge with them is the fact that the first is a shorter OVA, and the latter is a much larger series encompasses nearly too much to explain in this sort of context. There's really quite a few series like that that I struggled with when forming this list, but they're still really great titles nonetheless.

Anyways, the anime original point. While it's sort of an unconscious thing, I do realize what I do with it. Anime originals present something that you can't experience elsewhere. They are the end all be all of their creative vision, and that excites me more than a manga adaptation. Following someone else's blueprint vs creating your own, obviously one is more interesting than the other. And that sentiment extends to some of the other titles on the list like Heike Monogatari which approaches a classic story with a radical new viewpoint, or Tanya The Evil which basically forgoes the vast majority of its source material. It's really something I struggle with at large with adaptations. So many people want to leave their marks on the work, but quit just short of doing so in a meaningful manner. Very few go the mile to say that they did something in regards to the work, and instead meddle with it in minor ways which can negatively impact its reception as the original material. A great example of valuable changes is Heavenly Delusion. The team under Hirotaka completely re-arrange the order of events in the anime, and in doing so elevate the series in a way that only they can. Anyways, I digress, a discussion that I should leave for another time. This is my list, it may not be the best list out there, but it is mine.

[jandjsalmon]

2024 FRC - March🍀

This one is a scheduled posted because as we speak, I will be living it up on my vacation to Venice and Croatia - but I'll screenshot my word count first thing on April 01 - so that it'll be up to date. If you're following me on SM - I apologize in advance for the plethora of pictures I'll be inundating you with soon. 😉

In other non-vacationy news, as in past years, my daughter and her amazing basketball team defended their title as Provincial Champions and successfully won Back-To-Back Championships. If you were here last year, you'd remember that this was the first time in school history and so doing it again was even more momentous. I chose a close-up this year. Kinda bittersweet that she's played her last game - but really happy with how this season turned out. 🏀

Okay - back to the fanfiction. Things in the @fanfic-reading-challenge are progressing nicely. If you’re looking for a fun way to get out of your comfort zone, you should come check it out. and for those of you who are new here - over the last couple of years, I’ve not only been participating in the fic challenge (which is still open for new members jsyk and the Discord is pretty neat) but I've been tracking all the fic I've read and reported back here once a month with some stats and some recs, and a little bit of boring stuff about my life. That’s what this post is.

Below the cut are my March stats and some fun fic recs. I’ve been tackling the challenge tasks and am nearly done the ‘extreme’ mode. I'll crack 6 million words on the airplane back home on Friday. 😉

March 2024

As for my recs for you! Try these - you might enjoy them. The pairings are all over the place - but if it is something you've never read before, let one of them be your first foray into the ship.🖤🖤

I actually stumbled upon this fic accidentally to pass off a task for the challenge but Folie à Deux by @cypresssunns (E 1/1) - is a super delightful Knives Out fic and I'm SO glad I read something new!. The pairing is Marta/Ransom and it is a "Marriage of Convenience/Ransom remains a sociopath but Marta kinda likes him like that" kinda fic. It was delightful and if you're into co-dependency and couples where no one is really a good person - this is the fic for you!

Of course I never go a month without recommending at least one Wenvier fic - and Pomegranate. by @theravenandtheartist (T - 1/1) was fantastic. Wednesday in particular felt perfectly in character. Xavier is adorkable. And honestly, I just have a unhealthy love for Hades and Persephone - so while this is NOT an AU, the mythology does play into the story and I loved how it was done. Great read!

Anyway - I have lots of tasks yet to complete - so if you have a fic that you’d like to recommend - let me know! I'll see you when I get home! 🖤

And seriously, COME ON. racing the yellow lights is a Hallie/Society Assassins AU (M - 1/1) and it's fantastic. I've read it about a bajillion times and it is ALWAYS delightful. Of course the great @smc-27 writes one of the best Harrys in the whole fandom so it's completely unsurprising that this fic has me in a chokehold. If you like The Society - and you like Hallie and fun AUs - don't forget to review! 💛

[hexfloog]

Hiya! I was thinking about the remastered animation Cel style evil Conan post you put up recently, and I just wanted to say how amazing and impressive it is! I love love love the look of old animation and you really nailed it. I’ve been trying for ages to mimic that look myself and haven’t been able to crack it, so if you ever wanted to talk about your process on this piece, I’d be all ears! Wonderful work, again!

Waaah hi liv!! Thank you, I'm so glad you like it, and that it comes across so convincingly!! One of my favorite things is to make digital art that can have a second life as a different medium, and I wish I had an easy answer for you as to how I go about doing that, but the truth is that it's mostly the result of a lot of trial and error. And a metric ton of references.

Here's a quick process video of my last piece to try to show off what all my layers are like, but I know it's mostly useless without an explanation!! I can't explain it all because I was kinda winging this one for funsies but I can give you general tips for this particular look.

Clip and words below the break!

As a disclaimer I didn't really go into this one intending for it to come out looking the way it did. So it's more of a hybrid look between my usual "clean" digital rendering and a fake screenshot.

[1] Reference, role models, and inspiration - I'm not kidding when I say I used to tote around an entire, dedicated folder filled with printed reference. These days that usually takes the form of about a million browser tabs (￣▽￣) I stare at early Detco and the first six movies a LOT. And Cowboy Bebop. And Akira. And and [insert your choice of 80s-90s anime film]. Depending on the exact look you're trying to replicate, you can always look to a more era-appropriate movie.

I love pulling inspo from films in particular (both animated and live action) because cinema is a whole other art that employs all kinds of techniques for our usual considerations (like lighting and framing), and looking to them can inspire some pretty poignant imagery, especially when you're trying to create something that's meant to mimic a single-frame capture of exactly that. I don't keep up with movies or anything, but I do have my favorites, and it didn't really occur to me to look to them until some of my favorite artists revealed that they do the same with theirs.

For this particular piece, I also had to establish some consistency with the other piece that bookends the scene, so I actually referenced my own art, too.

[2] BIG canvas! I usually work at two or three times the size I expect to export. Following standard aspect ratios for animated productions can help sell the look. Letterboxes have their own ratio, too, if you choose a widescreen canvas; and subtitle fonts are usually standardized to certain font families and colors since their primary purpose is to help make the media accessible. All this is usually a quick google search away, OR… if you're like me, and you still watch physical media… you can just yoink most of this from a real DVD.

[3] Thin lines!! I still can't quite nail the right line weight for these-- I definitely went too thick here-- but they tend to be very fine. And imperfections are good! Nobody has a perfectly steady hand, especially with traditional cels.

[4] Less is usually more when trying to sell a screenshot look… it's easy to over-ink and over-render and-- in my opinion-- restraint is necessary to sell it. This is the hardest thing to explain… it's design vs. rote emulation, I think. But that said, digital aids (next point) do a lot of the heavy lifting in these - as far as the art is concerned, a little will go a long way! These were some of my easiest lines and shading. So on that note…

[5] …Blending modes, masks, and filters are all your friends o___o I get a lot of mileage out of the default tools already available to me in the art software. There's plenty out there that's available for free, too! I recommend you find a fake anime screenshot tutorial, follow it once, and just go nuts when you get to the part where you can play with these settings. The make-or-break for a convincing screenshot-- in my opinion-- is texture and bloom, and all these digital tools will help you achieve that.

I hope this helps!! Hopefully the video can help you see a bit more of the process since I can only really offer tips. It shows everything at full size so you can see the details, so go nuts!

Thank you for the ask! Beaming plenty of good luck that you can find the look you want!!

ALSO I REALLY HOPE THIS IS THE PIECE YOU MEANT I'M LITERALLY ABOUT TO QUEUE THIS UP AND JUST REALIZED THE ONE THAT CAME BEFORE THIS IS MORE REMASTERED CEL ANIMATION LOOK SKSKSKSK

the same tips apply though so i hope they still help all the same :3c

[acacia-may]

THE TIME HAS COME TO TALK ABOUT JACQUES SNICKET AND OLIVIA CALIBAN, MY FRIENDS!

(Spoilers for ASOUE Netflix ahead and some book spoilers as well)

So I am absolutely loving these asks about [Netflix] Jacques and Olivia (Thank you so much, friends! 💖), but I feel bad for my anon-friends because I am sensing a sort of hesitant, nervous, making-sure-we-all-know-this-is-for-NETFLIX-Jacques x Olivia-so-this-ask-is-justified kind of energy which I can completely understand given the circumstances, however, I am the absolute last person who would ever, ever, a whole page of 'ever's judge anybody about this ship in particular. 😅 (Or maybe I'm off base here, and my anon-friends just really, really don't like the idea of Book Jacques x Book Olivia and want to be sure to differentiate? Which is a fair point too!)

Regardless, I feel it is time to come to come clean with you all about me, Jacques Snicket, and Olivia Caliban...

Jacques x Olivia was my ASOUE crackship before the Netflix series was released!

Maybe it was the drama™️ of it all? (A/N: Gotta love that sweet, sweet angst) Or this feeling I got while reading The Carnivorous Carnival that they had history maybe as good friends, maybe as something more, who knows? (A/N: It's the vibes) Maybe I took one (1) specific line from Olivia's whole 'confession' sequence in TCC, ran with it to the hinterlands of my mind and created an angsty betrayal subplot that had no business existing in the first place? (A/N: I did. I did do this. Pretty sure it was L.S.'s intention, right? Just kidding…) Whatever the reason (A/N: those are all the reasons, literally in the preceding sentences), I crack-shipped this for years prior to Netflix, and I will present the following texts from an exchange with my sister "Jackalope" (A/N: her nickname is a meme-y reference to ASOUE actually) as evidence that I was on board for this ship all the way back in the dark ages of February of 2018 when the trailer for Season 2 dropped...

(A/N: My sisters and I took these screenshots at the time & saved them as proof of this phenomenon so I was able to find them more easily that you might think 😅)

And well, my friends, (as I'm sure we all know), I am happy to say he did so much more than just sit in that car with her...

(Image from Shipping Wiki which I didn't know was a thing until just now! Glad that Jacques x Olivia is included there 💕 Image brightened up/edited by me)

After both of my sisters teased me mercilessly about even entertaining the possibility of Jacques and Olivia as a crackship, I cannot express to you my utter joy and delight in watching their Netflix counterparts fall deeply in love and be given this incredible romance storyline! I was so blessed and so vindicated, and I literally screamed when the kiss happened. Meanwhile, my sisters were watching in total shock like "I can't believe you actually predicted this!" 😂 We literally had to pause the episode after the kiss because everyone in the room just needed a moment to collect themselves (myself included).

All of this said, I promise I really do see Netflix Jacques x Netflix Olivia as a completely separate relationship (which I do actually ship to the highest, OTP levels). I am happy to report, however, that though Book Jacques and Book Olivia will always be a total crackship, my sisters did eventually concede it to me and never teased me about it again. And that is just how the story goes, folks. 😁

[A/N: Other fun facts about me, my ASOUE Book Series OTP is Dewey/Kit so as you can imagine, the Netflix series was a very, very good time for me overall, but that is, perhaps, a story for another time...]

TL;DR: I am the real Madame Lulu, and my inbox is always open to discuss any and all iterations of the Jacques Snicket x Olivia Caliban ship no explanation or specifications needed. (A/N: Of course, if you'd like to specify, that is welcomed and up to you. Just letting you all know this ship will never need to be defended or justified to me. We're all friends here 💖). Cheers, associates! 😁

[thechaseofspades]

❤️✨💕

❤️ What is your favorite line that you've written in a fic?

I'm not great at remembering individual lines from things unless they're super important. I can remember scenes but lines just escape me.

That being said, I skimmed through My Head is an Animal to refresh my brain and fell in love with this line all over again:

“You don’t just love me because I’m a Sabrewing. I’m a Sabrewing because you love me.”

And you know what it just hits so hard. This was at the point where Violet was coming to terms with being aromantic and worrying about not loving people enough and then Lena hits her with this. How did this come from my brain. I am not clever enough to write this.

✨ Out of the comments you've received on your fics, what are two or three of your favorites?

Obligatory I love every single comment I ever get. I could never single out anybody in particular because y'all are so sweet and tumblr would not allow me to post 37 screenshots.

But, I'm gonna shout out one genre of comment I got over a year ago now. My first crack at writing fics was when Weblena Week came around in 2022 because hey why not. Originally the idea was seven loosely-related one-shots for seven days. Except one of the prompts became super fleshed out way more than the other ideas, and I ended up running with a seven-chapter idea on just one of the prompts instead. It became Lena's Groundhog Day.

I got like three or four of the seven planned chapters done by the time Weblena Week hit, and once I ran out of those I missed a day, and then two, and then the rest of the week, and then the month. And I was like "ah darn. well it was fun while it lasted."

I never really forgot about the story or tossed it aside or anything, but it just kinda trickled out like all of my other brief creative fixations. Autism moment. But then, I checked back on the site around a month or two later and...

(this is a nearly full-screen screenshot on my phone so hopefully it comes out at a reasonable size on the post if not then oh well)

Note the timestamps. People coming in and saying "hey, just letting you know, I liked this." Even though I hadn't posted in a long time and missed the intended window by weeks at that point. It felt really good, not only to come back to that after almost sorta dropping it altogether, but also it just really validated my efforts to even post my writing in the first place.

I'm the opposite of an outgoing, 'hey come look at this thing I did' kind of person. So to see that kind of support was amazing and I'll always be grateful for it. It's one of the reasons why I'm still doing the whole writing funny ducks thing, because of the fine folks on the other side of this computer screen. <3

💕 What is your favorite fic that you've written?

My Head is an Animal is the one that means the most to me personally for probably obvious reasons. But also, I consider Lena's Groundhog Day to be a big step for me in terms of just getting my writing out there for the first time in the history of ever. Plus all the stuff I said up top. So it really depends on your criteria. I'm very proud of both for different reasons.

Thanks for the ask!!

[rakumel]

More Xenoverse 2 (and other games) brainrot because it’s my blog and I can do that.

But I’ll still put it under a cut, even though there’s no more screenshots than there were last time. It is, however, way more rambling and stupid. In a fun way, not a self-depreciating way.

Fuck, who am I kidding, it’s both.

If you set Goku as your mentor, then talk to Cell, this becomes one of his dialogue options:

Seasoned? Taste? You and your fucking food words again, sir. Have you ever even cooked anything? Ever? (Seriously, if Cell says you look like a snack, is he flirting with you or threatening you?)

I talked to him a few more times, he never mentioned the wedding dress Aloe’s wearing.

Which sucks even more than it normally would, because maaaaan, you know what I had to go through to even get that thing?

Actually, the Wedding Dress is kind of weird. There’s four types of armor in the game: top, bottom, gloves, and shoes. But the wedding dress “top” includes those gloves - which don’t cover the hands. You can put on a separate pair of gloves *over* those, and there’s plenty of white ones to be had (or other colors if you like), but pretty much all of them look odd because...that’s not how fancy gloves work. The other two pieces in the wedding dress set are shoes (no idea what they look like, I never got them) and a plain pair of shorts that are completely covered by the top. (Seriously, your character could go commando under the thing and no one would know.) I have no clue why they made it this way, instead of say, a dress top with special shoes and separate gloves, maybe with like, a little corsage on the side or something.

I know it’s a fighting game and dress-up shouldn’t be their first priority, but a little bit more effort on that wouldn’t have gone unappreciated. I’m just saying.

Especially since they did just fine with the tuxedo. Here’s my short king Yokan showing it off:

(Man, I really need to play with his base colors some more, I don’t know that I like his dull brown armor. But nothing else I’ve tried seems to suit him?)

Anyway, meh, whatever. So what if sensei didn’t notice our clothes. Who needs fancy shit?

This is my favorite setup for Aloe right now because at first glance it’s kind of badass, but the longer you look at it the more ridiculous it gets. (Which is the perfect aesthetic for this game, really.) Especially the car seat belt-looking fastener thing across her chest. It might have looked more intimidating on Bido, but on Aloe it cracks me the fuck up. I can’t take it seriously at all. "Hang on, almost ready, just gotta buckle up the girls!” Just one click and voila! Easy motorboating access! Okay, okay, I’m sorry. I’m done.

That Super Soul, by the way? I fucking love it. Aloe has kind of an absurd amount of Ki, and it’s a pain to refill it by most normal means. This particular Super Soul refills it completely every time you defeat an enemy. Very nice. There’s actually a few Super Souls I go back to time and again, depending on the situation, and I wish there was a way to pin the ones you use most at the top of the list, for easy access. Because believe me when I say there are a fuckton of Super Souls available, and most of them won’t apply to your character’s fighting style at all. (But they’re still handy to unlock for other characters to use.) Still, when I’m scrolling through the list trying to find a particular one, or worse, can’t decide which one would be best, I tend to experience what Dave Barry once called “Way Too Many Product Choices Rage.”

I took a break from Xenoverse 2 for a couple of weeks - unintentionally, work got crazy - got back into it this weekend, but I think I may be getting ready to move onto something else soon. (The two people who actually read this shit: “THANK GOD”) I’ve always wanted to try a writing a video game diary/review kind of deal, but in the past it didn’t occur to me to take any screenshots or write anything down until I was like, halfway through the game. I’d like to try and do this right from the start this time. But if I do, it probably won’t be for a couple more weeks yet. Got a work week coming up that’s going to be longer and even worse than the one I just got out of.

I’m leaning toward Ys 8: Lacrimosa of Dana. It’s a beautiful game, I love most of the characters, the story’s pretty good, controls are nice and fluid, and it’s been a long while since I last played it. Soundtrack slaps pretty hard too.

I haven’t completely forgotten about the remake of Pocky and Rocky that I talked about months ago, though. It did come out and I did buy it, and I have played it. Here’s the thing, though: it’s...hard. They leaned heavy into Pocky and Rocky’s arcade origins, and there is a LOT going on any given screen at any given time. It’s not unfair or anything. It’s just that I’m just older now and my reaction times aren’t what they used to be. So I’ll have to unlock the easy mode (*grumble grumble shame grumble*) before I can give the story a proper look. I’ve only gotten as far as the fourth chapter, and it looks like they’re adding a twist to the old story. Intriguing, says I.

[kitzsah]

Heart Attack Exchange 2023 Letter

General Likes:

Worldbuilding and subject matter expertise! All the worldbuilding. I literally have 100K and counting of Chicago-cited (JSTOR articles and all) worldbuilding on the  historical/political background of the wizarding world for the fic series I'm working on. I also adore small, lived-in details – so if there’s any particular expertise/personal experience that you’ve  always wanted to expound on, consider me a captive audience haha. I’ve literally done method writing for a fic wherein I spent a morning walking around with four feet of yard-stick ruler strapped to my side to get an idea for what carrying a rapier would feel like, so yeah.

Unconventional formats. Seriously, I'm game for whatever you can think of. Textbooks, epistolary, official memorandums, screenshots and text messages, newspaper articles – the world is your oyster here.

Nuanced moral ambiguity and loyalty and duty and responsibility and  obligation and necessary evils. I absolutely adore portrayal of duties conflicting with personal  desire, people having to make hard choices and then live with the consequences,  bone-deep dedication to service, and anything else along those lines.

Character studies. Show me how a character became who they are, show me what facets of their personality emerges in different situations, tell me about how their background impacts how they view the world. Flawed/unreliable narration and close personal biases are absolutely welcome here. Outside perspectives on characters are always fun as well!

Close relationships, romantic, platonic, ambiguous, and otherwise. I absolutely adore close platonic relationships that are no less close or meaningful or devoted for being platonic. I’m talking raze the fields, “Where you go, I go” level of loyalties being my catnip here. And even for romance, show me characters as friends first and how they relate to each other as people, more than the part where they think the other person’s hot.

DNWs:

Porn Without Plot/Plot, What Plot? I'm not entirely opposed to sex, either onscreen or implied, but only if it’s not the only thing happening. You’re writing for someone who’s disinterested in sex (except as a characterization tool) to begin with, so any attempt at smut for its own sake is going to fall flat.

Character bashing. Even the most  objectively fucked up characters are still people, in all their good and evil. One-dimensional character bashing/flanderization will not be appreciated.

Crack. Humor and comedy are fine, crack is not. Life can be absolutely absurd sometimes, so if it’s something that could actually happen and fits the characters, go right ahead. Unhinged crack for its own sake will be less welcome.

Suicide. References/mentions are acceptable, as is a character sacrificing their life for someone else, but...okay, honestly, if you’re planning on writing a fic that features suicide beyond a background mention of “X background character killed themself,” just ask through the Mod to double-check that portion of the plot with me.

Revolutionary Arc - kitsunerei88:

Lina Avery

Lina! My favorite mercenary war-mage who will swear up, down, and sideways that she has Absolutely No Morals Whatsoever, No Sirree. Yet someone gets suckered into fighting a war and overthrowing a government for free because the people she loves (for all she will Fervently Deny It Forever) needed that. Also, her attitude toward her Idiot Not Son is just hilarious.

Give me anything from her adventures with Etienne during the Cold War (up to and including emotional angst after he dies/she gets him killed) to Lina’s....Adventures with the Department of Magical Law Enforcement after the war. She’s so not the person to Lead A Whole Administrative Department yet gets stuck with the job anyway. What is she like at job fairs trying to talk seventeen and eighteen year-old British-born muggleborn and halfblood teenagers into joining the DMLE? (She’s probably as good for recruitment as Top Gun is for the Navy haha, and all those baby aurors probably half-worship at her feet) How much times a week does she threaten to quit her job at James and Sirius? What’s her perspective of the post-war political situation in the new Wizarding England and Wales? How many use of force lawsuits and Memorandums regarding appropriate language and conduct does she inspire?

Mikael Kowalski/Annabelle Crestley

I’m way too fond of these two characters that I literally developed from one-line mentions in RevArc ahaha.

I’ll take any and all romantic fluff/adventures with them! Especially since I suck at romance and everything associated. Fluffy dates, Absolutely Positively Not Pining Letters going back and forth between Moscow and NYC, them going “What the actual fuck” at John’s....Everything during the events of RevArc!

Alliance Trilogy - E. Jade Lomax

Lia/Marie Gabrielle & Marie Gabrielle Andrea & Gabrielle Andrea

I loved the glimpses of Ceren religion that appeared throughout the trilogy, and the way that Gregory fell in love with these people and considered them worth fighting for. And holy fuck that scene of the city guard ripping flowers off a little girl's head because it’s viewed as a symbol of defiance/rebellion/treason. I would just love more everything of this.

Anything about growing up as a persecuted religious minority, where something a small as flowers is viewed with suspicion and having to hide your holiday celebration in cellars, the way the Ceren emphasis on blood is something that Andrea and her brothers (who aren't considered her brothers by Ceren society) chafes at. What was it like for Andrea and countless other Ceren children growing up in this world? And honestly, give me everything on Andrea in general - this orphan girls with brothers that her culture doesn’t recognize as brothers, who had to grow up too fast in a world, and asks herself the question of “What do I want to do with my hands?”

What does it mean to be Ceren, to identify as Ceren, in Neria, a hundred years after unification? Marie and Sebastian are Cerens as well, a different stripe (or at least Sebastian was, and Marie grew to be) of Ceren than Andrea and the rebels that we spend most of the series with, and at the very end of Traitor, there's a Ceren boy who's signed up to join the royal guard. How do all of these characters relate to their identity and religion and culture in similar and different ways? Do any of them identity as Nerian?

Gregory says to Andrea, "It [Neria] is [a country]. The people—the ones who don’t meet in your cellar—they call themselves Nerians. Folk from Birnel and Panet live in the city, and they call it home, too. What are you going to do with them? You’re not the only ones who love this land, not anymore. Whatever Sasha’s great-grandfather did, a hundred years ago, this is how it is now." Is he right? 

Gabrielle, my favorite and most determinedly ambitious twelve year-old. By the end of the book, she's tentatively making inroads with the Ceren resistance, and realized that she can love her father and simultaneously disagree with his policy, and is grappling with issues of privilege and saviorism and what she owes to her country and its people who have been wronged in her family's name and by her family. One of my favorite Gabrielle scenes is at the very end, when she's shocked to learn one of the royal guardsmen is a Ceren and "The guard stared at her, terrified, and Gabrielle leapt to reassure him, stumbling over her words and wringing her hands. There was a horror low in her stomach. What sort of kingdom was hers, that it hurt the very people who took up arms for it? That it hurt any person under its protection? This boy, in her own black and silver, was staring at her with such fear. Rage rose in her, at her forefathers, her father, at Bray and War and men like Doulings. I will be better. I will— Gabrielle took a long breath. I will listen. I will listen. I will learn." What does she get up to after the series ends? What are her stumbles, what are her successes? What is it like for this determined, too-smart kid who's committed to learning to listen?

Lia and Marie! They’re an A+ romance going on in the background, and I Marie’s line of “I didn’t kidnap any tax collectors or set any

government buildings on fire, but only because I didn’t stay in town long enough. If my cousin hadn’t died, if I hadn’t inherited and been sent to Court, I’d still be an angry, barefoot little girl in the backwoods, and I’d have set whole loads of things on fire by now. If I hadn’t met Lia, and you, my little princess. I love you both. But, if things had gone a different way - I hate that I have to live with the knowledge that in a different life I would’ve been slipping oleander into your tea and thinking myself righteous for it.” A character study of Marie and her journey/falling in love with Lia/coming to this realization would be absolutely incredible

The Fixer Series - Jennifer Lynn Barnes

Ivy Kendrick & William Keyes Ivy Kendrick & Adam Keyes

I’ll take everything regarding Ivy’s relationship with the (living) Keyes men here!

William Keyes says, “I never quite figured out how Adam and Ivy met. She was at Georgetown. He went to see her.” That plus William Keyes’ drama-filled line of, “I treated [Ivy] like a daughter, and she put Peter Nolan in office,” plus Adam’s line “Three years ago, you were on speaking terms with my father,” and Ivy’s admission that he taught her a significant amount of what she knows gives me so many questions about the two of them.

What did Tommy tell Ivy about his father? Did Adam introduce her to William Keyes or did he randomly take an interest in a girl from Georgetown and find out that she and Adam knew each other after the fact? How does Ivy feel about working for the man who, in another timeline, might have been her father-in-law? What does/did William Keyes feel about Ivy, from start to finish and everything about how she intersects with his sons? (Seriously, there’s so much packed into the line “Tommy died. I lost both sons.”)

Adam Keyes “must have known that Tommy was seeing someone. And somehow, he found out about [Tess].” What happened there? How much did he know? He visited/met Ivy for the first time (as far as William Keyes knows - which might not be entirely accurate!) when she was twenty and a student at Georgetown and he was home on leave (so he would have been 22/23 at a minimum) and implied/presumably after Tommy died. What was that meeting like? How does Adam feel about Ivy, and the connection to Tommy that she represents? How does he feel about Tess, and Ivy’s decisions regarding her? Ivy is implied to give his opinions about Tess’s upbringing some weight even before he even meets her, given the line of “Three years ago, you were the one who told me to bring [Tess] here.”

Tess Kendrick & Ivy Kendrick Tess Kendrick & William Keyes

Okay, I honestly love Tess and William Keyes’ relationship so much? (His character in general is just intriguing haha). Everything from “No matter what Ivy and my son might have told you, I’m not so heartless as to turn my only grandchild away,” to “[What do you want with Tess?] The same thing I’ve always wanted, dear - an heir.” How does he feel about discovering this grandchild (and legacy) he’s longed for for years? What’s his point of view of their back and forth? Literally I will devour everything about these two.

God, Tess and Ivy and their not-quite mother/daughter yet not exactly sister relationship is absolutely one of the emotional centers of this series. Ivy’s conversation with Tess about how she wanted to be good enough for her not sister, not daughter (but indisputably hers) absolutely kills me. What was it like for Ivy to watch her sister daughter Tess grow up from over a thousand miles away? How did Ivy feel that summer Tess was thirteen and she came to Montana making promises and left away a girl whose heart would be broken and all the stilted phone calls in between? What was going through Ivy’s head when she received that phone call from Tess’ school and she went to the ranch only to be called her mother’s name by her grandfather and every moment when she’s finally living with her sister daughter Tess for the first time? (Seriously, Ivy’s ‘Order what you like from these furniture catalogs on a Saturday evening, they will be delivered here today’ makes me laugh all the time).

Tess Kendrick & Tommy Keyes Tess Kendrick & William Keyes & Theresa Keyes

This would be an AU, but Tess’s line of “I would never know my father. I would never get to meet him, never know if he would have looked at me and seen pieces of himself, if he would have wanted me. If I could have been a daughter he would have loved,” gets me any time. So give me a timeline where Tommy did come home from his tour in Afghanistan! Your choice in terms of how they meet and how this particular cat comes out of the bag and how Adam and Tommy and Ivy relate to each other. This is honestly just me wanting Father-Daughter feels with Tommy and Tess (who’s named after his mother, presumably on his wishes) that the world/fate denied her.

This is also an AU, but William Keyes says in the second book, “I can never forgive Adam for that [denying Theresa Keyes, who Tess is named after, the chance to know her only grandchild]. We could have given you everything you deserved” Which immediately made me imagine a timeline in which the Keyes had, somehow, found out about Tommy’s child. Give me all the chewiness there with a Tess who has grown up either entirely in DC (William Keyes is Wealthy and has All The Lawyers, and would almost certainly skew things in his favor in terms of custody battles) or splitting her time between DC and Montana (this one is probably because Theresa reined her husband in).

(Note: feel free to gloss over the Political Drama And Intrigue haha. Do not feel obligated to figure out High Stakes Plots and assassinations and cover-ups and terrorist organizations and cover identities, I will absolutely adore fics that just focus on, like, the day to day and these tangled and messy relationships. Also, William Keyes’ mansion is supposedly on “the Virginia side of DC,” but in that that description is literally nonsensical geography, I’m pretty sure Barnes meant it to be in Mclean, Virginia (which is the Virginia side of the DC metro area stereotyped as where Rich And Powerful People live). The Maryland equivalent is Potomac.)

Leagues and Legends - E. Jade Lomax:

Jack Farris & George & Liam Jones Beatrix "Bea" Jones/Liam Jones Jack Farris & George

Give me all the Mountain Vigilante stories. How did Jack and George meet for the first time, when did Jack realize the obisidan-eyed girl he told his name to at the tavern because he hadn't known who she was was Cassandra Graves, show me their logistical network and caches set up to smuggle mages to safety, how did Bea root herself in a bakery and meet (and fall in love with) this whistling desert boy and two kids trying to mend the world as best they can, how was Challenge founded and constructed and what was the Northern Rangers' reaction and cooperation with the vigilantes of the mountain?

Lanetia "Laney" Jones & Liam Jones

Liam! He's a worldsinger, a talent that is explicitly noted to be rare and extraordinary in this world, for all that neither Jack or Laney call attention to it as such. "When [Laney] was eight, Liam was twenty and feeling trapped and useless." What made him leave the desert to go wandering? What was it like being able to hear the Elsewhere and whistle up magic? How did he he meet Jack and George for the first time and get into the Vigilante business and fighting the graves? I'd love for something where he doesn't die and Laney meets him and they actually get to have A Conversation because seriously, his departure really did a number on that little girl.

Earth Girl Series - Janet Edwards:

Tellon Blaze

Tellon Blaze and the Chimera Wars! That dude leaves such a long shadow on The Military to the point that even 250 years later, His Original Chair is still held in a place of honor in Military HQ. It's also practically outright stated in the Draco books that the Public Story Of Tellon Blaze and What Actually Happened are two very different narratives/closely held secrets. All of humanity views him as a war hero who was a military cadet visiting Thetis when shit hit the fan and heroically stepped up and was rewarded with laurels and pomp and a clan of the gentes maiores, but Draco talking to his father says that he was actually a civilian tennis-player with zero intentions of a military career when Thetis happened.

What's going on there? His order of "Nuke it to cinders" (and 'Let the stars go dark') is famous a quarter of a millennium later - what was that like, for Tellon Blaze? Anti-chimera detectors are on every military equipment and portal several centuries after the incident, and even the mere rumors of chimeras is enough to throw humanity into a panic, so what exactly went down during the wars (which are always mentioned in the plural)?

On that note, the history/origin of the Honor Child tradition (especially if there’s a connection to Tellon Blaze) would be absolutely fascinating as well. It's mentioned at some point (I think in the Drago books) that that was a tradition that arose during the Chimera Wars due to the sheer number of dead - so what happened there?

Jarra Tell Morrath I/Riak Torrek Jarra Tell Morrath I & Draco Tell Dramis

Jarra the First and Draco were two kids raised in this crazy cult/organization by Cioni's apprentices, who discovered their identities as Tell Clan members pounded on the doors of the Tell Clan Hall demanding entrance. It's implied that these two reacted very differently to their fucked-up upbringing: "My impression was that Draco was always fixated on the past but far too angry to discuss it, while his sister just wanted to focus on living a normal life in future. That seems consistent with what I was told about their clan welcoming ceremony. Draco was still changing his mind about his chosen name an hour before the ceremony, while his sister never once wavered from her decision to be Jarra Tell Morrath."

What happened? Exactly why did Cioni's Apprentice want embryos of the Tell Clan? How did Jarra the First and Draco escape? What was it like assimilating into a very different environment? What's the story of Jarra the First’s military career and her eventual relationship with Bard and Riak?

Gemena Raya Feren & Marack Tell Galad & Jarra Tell Morrath Jarra Tell Morrath & Riak Torrek Gemelle Tell Feren & Jaxon Tell Galad & Jarra Tell Morrath Gemelle Tell Feren & Jaxon Tell Galad

Seriously, Jarra contacting her parents and learning that they wanted a relationship with her only for them to be killed in action weeks later is such a cruel twist of fate. Like, an entirely realistic twist of fate, mind you, because Life Sucks Like That and Jarra’s Life Especially Consists Of Cruel Twists Of Ironic Fate. I get the plot necessity of it, but still, I’ll take all the canon-divergences here.

AU where Jaxon comes to his senses even a few days sooner and Jarra is never handed over to Hospital Earth and grows up with both parents, secure in the knowledge that she’s Loved And Is A Tell Clan Member.

AU where Jarra contacts her clan at fourteen like her friends did. She has no fucking clue why she does it (possibly Isette badgered her into it), she’s entirely doing it to make her friends happy, she fully expects things to go down in flames and figures she might as well get it over it. Except, to her complete shock, her family actually wants her. Her parents come down, there’s probably Much Yelling at Hospital Earth, and teenaged Jarra gets bombarded with all the love. Seriously, re-reading Earth Girl and Jarra’s (justified) bitterness is so painful after the Drago series because you know that her family wanted her so badly and they loved her so fucking much.

AU where Jarra’s parents don’t die during that behavior event in Kappa Sector and they come visit her on Earth while she’s working on the dig sights and all the ensuing emotion fraughtness as she figures out What It Means To Have Parents And Family as an adult.

Riak Torrek’s POV of the Honor Ceremony! Seriously, that dude had, what, a handful of hours’ notice? One minute he’s doing Solar Array Command Shit, the next is that he’s getting a notification that his long-lost granddaughter, who the entire family has thought they’d never find, has been identified. Not only that, he’s immediately tasked with leading a memorial ceremony for said long-lost granddaughter - a memorial ceremony commemorating the honor and sacrifice and service of his deceased wife. I’m honestly impressed that he kept his composure as much as he did during that scene.

I’ll also take all the scenes of Jarra with her siblings. Anything from Jaxon’s Situation Re Fidelis Breach finally being brought up, to just sibling bonding, to the...whatever the fuck Jaxon and Gemelle’s relationship has been like for the last two decades (because Gemelle said in one of the Drago books that she and Jaxon don’t/can’t have a normal sibling relationship as a result of what happened to Jarra all those years ago) and maybe even some of that being mended.

The Dark Artifices - Cassandra Clare:

Julian Blackthorn/Emma Carstairs Julian Blackthorn & Emma Carstairs

I know canon is all about Julian and Emma’s forbidden love story, but I honestly fell in (non-romantic) love with these kids because of their relationship to war and tragedy. Julian’s line of, “I came of age in the Dark War. I was baptized in blood and fire....I killed my own father. You think I won’t kill you son?” made me scream. These kids were twelve when their world fell apart around them and they lost almost everything, when one promise of, “Aren’t we forever?” in a desperate attempt to cling to what little they had left ended up almost ruining their lives. They’re kids who they ran for their lives and grew up in war and knowing (and bearing) the cost of sacrifice and necessity. So for prompts, honestly I’ll adore any one of a hundred moments in the years between the end of the war and the start of the Dark Artifices.

Julian writing to the Clave every year to try to bring his sister home, stepping into Arthur’s shoes and running the Institute, teaching himself how to cook because his family needs him, trudging up the hill with groceries, becoming a father at the age of twelve (seriously, Tavvy is two when everything goes to hell, he literally doesn’t remember any parental figure other than Julian)

Emma, who spends these year honing herself into the sharpest weapon possible until she’s known as the second coming of Jace Herondale even though she says she’s “nothing special” (God, that conversation with her and Cristina), who throws herself into avenging her parents’ death, who needs to be the best Shadowhunter that she can be.

These two kids in general, really, who have lived through war and are five shades of messed up and too young and have their own language and wake up from nightmares and crawl into each other’s beds in an attempt to keep the bad dreams away.

Julian’s POV of waking up in Lady Midnight to discover that Emma had taken his place and is currently lying on the floor in front of the institute, whipped half to death.

Canon-divergence where Emma finds out about Julian running the Institute and the Uncle Arthur situation earlier and she helps him shoulder the burden - because he’s her parabatai and her best friend and how could she do anything less?

Or, for something less heavy, a fluffy slice-of-life (or, well, as fluffy as any canon involving Children And A Society At War, because that’s what Shadowhunters are, even without the whole Morgenstern Situation) canon-divergence AU where Emma and Julian got to remain children a little while longer - playing side-by-side on the beach, bonking each other with wooden swords and making faces at each other. A world where Julian never has to know how bitter Necessity tastes, and Emma never seeps herself in vengeance.

Legally Blonde Musical - Hach/O'Keefe/Benjamin:

Emmett Forrest/Elle Woods 

I have a soft spot for this musical haha, and especially these two. I’ll honestly take anything about these two and their relationship?

Emmett’s perspective on meeting Elle (and, you know, falling in love with her) because his background in terms of socioeconomics has so much potential (”Chip On My Shoulder” is an absolutely amazing song) 

Elle’s POV on realizing that the love she’s traveled all the way to Harvard to find/get back is actually standing right next to her in the form of Emmett.

Emmett’s POV from Legally Blonde to Legally Blonde (Remix) and events that happen in between? How does he feel about Callahan assaulting Elle, what does do, what happens offstage that we don’t see?

(Note: I’ve never actually watched the Broadway/MTV edition. When I think of this musical, I’ll always think of my high school production of it with the fondest of memories, and I will be forever grateful if any small details mentioned match that my high school’s production rather than any of the official version. The only plot significant one is that Legally Blonde (the song) is sung with Emmett and Elle on opposite sides of her dorm room door (I know some productions have it staged so that he and Elle are in the same room) so that she doesn’t hear him go, “What about love?” Others are: Paulette is Black, Enid is Desi, Bruiser is a fluffy white Bolognese rather than a Chihuahua, Emmett has dark blond hair and wears glasses and has a habit of rocking his weight back and forth on his feet)

[bunsblr]

Allright, finally got around to writing another part of my tutorial. In this part I will go over how I paint shadows on the body and some other stuff. Let’s just get into it!

Open this in dashboard for best view of the screenshots.

Disclaimer: I have no formal training for any kind of graphics stuff, I work in an office as a receptionist - I serve coffee for a living. I am absolutely self taught and while I consider myself pretty comfortable with photoshop, that doesn’t mean that there isn’t about a gazillion of other things that can be done that I have no idea about. There are people far superior than me in the Sims community. This is just how I do it, with techniques I have picked up through the years. Some things I go over in these will be pretty basic, some things a little more unorthodox. Disclaimer 2: My edits take time. This is what I do to relax, one edit takes several hours for me. Sometimes days :))) Disclaimer 3: My photoshop is in Swedish, which is my first language. I tried my best to find the English translations for every step that I do.

Tools used: The Sims 4, Adobe Photoshop 2020, One by Wacom Pen Tablet (very basic and unfancy).

When we stopped the last time we had just painted some shadows on the face and chest area. Now I continue with all other parts that’s showing skin. The hand has some of that wrongly places highlight thing going on, so I use the pen tool to section the hand out.

On the Sim layer, I choose a color of the hand that suits my purpose and I go over the area I want to "correct". I also removed the shadow on the wrist because I wanted to add my own.

Going back to the shadow layer, I use my shadow color and go over the part of the hand that would be facing away from our imaginary light source, as well as the part just under the clothing line. Then I blend by going over with a low opacity eraser brush again.

Between and around the fingers I usually add some extra definition with a smaller soft brush, using the same shadow color. Any uneven parts gets blended with the smudge tool.

The other hand just needed some shadow.

She's got leeeegs… Anyone else old enough to remember ZZ Top? No? Just me? Ok. I section out one of the legs, yes, using pen tool again.

I "color correct" the highlighted part on the front of the leg that I feel is in the wrong place.

I add my shadows on the front of the legs and under the skirt. Then I reverse my selection by clicking the Marquee tool, and right clicking in my picture. The english option should be called "Inverse Selection" or something like that.

I paint my shadow on the other leg, building up a little more color closest to the other leg to add separation between the two. And now since my selection didn´t section off the leg from the dress we've got some bleeding because I can´t be bothered by being precise.

I deselect and use the eraser tool with a hard brush and 100% opacity and start erasing the shadow parts I don't want, I'm careful not to go over any skin parts on the leg and hand. So this is a perfectly good method to use if you don’t want to section off using the pen tool all the time. I switch between the two depending on the size of the area.

I blend the parts of the shadows that I feel are too harsh with a low opacity soft eraser brush.

The foot had a little of that mucky highlight thing going on as well, so I mark that part of (pen tool) and go to my Sim layer.

I go over with an eyedropped color, and go back to my Shadow layer to start adding shadow with my shadow color. I draw shadows along the shoe part and underneath the sole of the foot. This is just to add some dept. Since this was such a small area I opted to not section the skin parts off, I just painted over the whole damn thing and went back in with an eraser to remove any unwanted shadow from the shoe parts.

I make a new layer for my Clothing Shadow, and copies the Sim layer mask onto this one as well by holding Alt, grabbing the layer mask and dropping it onto my new layer.

I eyedrop a color from the darker part of her dress and choose a darker more saturated version of that color. Usually I go with black for the clothing shadow, but it depends on the original colors of the clothes. With bright colors like this dress I go for a darker version of that color.

I definitely did not do myself any favours when I decided to have the light come from the back of this sim. Straight from the front is always easiest but hey, challenges is how we grow. I use a big ass soft brush and go over the front of the dress.

Aaaaand the pen tool is back again. I section off the arm of the dress.

I chose a slightly smaller brush than before (still pretty big though) and go over the part of the arm that´s facing away from the light. Then I invert the selection and paint shadows on the body under the arm, I build up a little more color here.

I deselect and now we´ve got a pretty sharp line around the shoulder where there naturally would not be. I go in with the eraser brush (low opacity, soft brush) and blend it out. I also blend the shadow that was on the front of the body since it was to harsh.

Now I realized that the light would not hit the hip that directly since the lower part of the arm is in the way, so I section off a big of the hip.

Since I don't work with especially harsh shadows, and since the arm is not directly in touch with the hip, I draw sort of a cone shaped shadow here. Not letting the tip of the cone reach all the way to the edge of the back.

I clean up a little more using smudge and eraser tool. She´s starting to look pretty good eh?

Now I want to merge all my Sim layers, but since I suffer from anxiety and can´t committ fully I want to keep all the layers as well. So I mark the Sim layer group and duplicate it (ctrl+ J), and hide the original Sim layer group.

I select all the layers in my new Sim layer group and merge them by pressing ctrl + E.

Now they´re one layer, without any layer masks. For the purpose of this tutorial I rename this layer Sim (when merging the way I do the new layer will take the name of the top Layer). Now this is our new Sim base layer, the old one is hidden away and hopefully we don´t have to touch that again because that would mean I would have made a major mistake somewhere that I can´t correct on this new layer. It’s very unlikely, but it feels nice still having those other layers as backup.

Since Sims is a video game we have some parts that are pretty square in our picture even though they wouldn´t be in real life. Time to smooth things out.

I go to Filter -> Liquify. This is like the smudge tool on crack. There´s a lot of things that can be done in here but in this particular case I'm going pretty simple. I use the smudge and go over any pointy bits that are'nt supposed to be pointy. I change the brush sizes to fit the area I'm working on. Some places need smaller brushes, some benefit from bigger ones.

Here's a comparison before and after of some of the things I corrected in Liquify. It's not a huge difference but it does looks nicer.

And that concludes part 4 of this tutorial. Don’t hesitate to message me if you have any questions.

[yepiamthesmileyface]

Just Friends(?)

[Image description: screenshot of an ask sent by @nemesis-is-my-middle-name​ reading “38 - Everyone thinks we’re already dating, but we’re just best friends- oh wait? (if ur taking prompts idk)” end image description]

Read it on AO3 here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28347906

Going to a Denny’s after a case was always a gamble. On one hand, there was hot, cheap junk food at whatever ungodly time they wrapped up their investigation; but on the other, sometimes the Denny’s had specimens like this. Vivi sighed, shoving a huge bite of her pancakes in her mouth and trying to tune out the ravings of the old white man who had stormed up to their booth — at three in the morning, mind you — and started screeching about how you should be ashamed of yourselves, displaying such perversions in public!! and three people living in sin!!

Normally, Vivi would have at least been making snarky comments, if not actually challenging him to a fight for insulting her and her boys like that, but...she was tucked comfortably under Lewis’s arm, the hand that wasn’t holding her fork reached across and resting on Arthur’s thigh. Also, it was literally three in the morning, she was covered in mud and slime from chasing a giant frog-creature around in a nearby river, and she had been awake for twenty-one consecutive hours. She took another bite. The pancakes tasted extra good for the exhaustion and ache sunk into her bones, strawberry topping and whipped cream and thick fluffy pancakes and maple syrup...it was almost enough to get her to forget about the man shrieking at them. She glanced back over at him, idly noting that his face was turning an interesting shade of puce.

The waiter walked back over with the same jaded, unfazed look he wore when the three of them had staggered into the Denny’s, soaked to the bone and absolutely covered in muck. He folded his arms and stared at the old man. “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. You’re disturbing the other guests.” The old man turned to look at the waiter, puffing up not unlike the giant frog the Mystery Skulls had captured and returned to its actual habitat not half an hour ago, and rapidly deflating as he took in the completely impassive, almost dead-eyed stare of the late-night Denny’s waiter. He hurried out of the building, spitting one last insult about how they were all going to hell for living in sin. Given that he had used that particular phrase about nineteen times, it had kind of lost its fire, as far as Vivi was concerned.

Vivi felt some of the tension drain out of Lewis, and she turned her head, looking over at her boys. Lewis looked relieved and tired, catching her eye and smiling at her, soft and warm and completely unguarded. There was a streak of mud high on his cheek, almost matting in his no-longer-pristine hair. She smiled back, the expression billowing up like a balloon on a current of love, and reached up to wipe the smear away. Lewis leaned into her touch, and she cupped his cheek for a moment before wiping her hand on her skirt and leaning forward a little to peer around Lewis’s chest in order to check on Arthur. In contrast, Arthur looked like a live wire of tension, like he would either shatter or vault over the table and sprint away if anything else happened. Her smile dropped.

The waiter turned to them, ready with a scripted apology that actually carried a note of sincerity that Lewis quickly waved off. As he took care of talking to the waiter, Vivi leaned across him, patting Arthur’s leg quickly to get his attention. 

Arthur jumped, nearly hitting his knees on the table. Vivi felt a little guilty, but quickly pushed through. “Hey. It’s alright. He’s gone.”

Arthur met her gaze, eyes wide and grin forced. His hair hung limp around his face, framing him beautifully in dark gold. “Y-yeah. Plus — plu-plus, h-he — was, wasn’t even may-making any, any, any se-sen-se.”

She bit her lip. If his stutter was coming out that strong, he was either much more anxious or much more tired than she thought. Probably a combination of both. Pulling up a warm, playful grin from the depths of her chilled bones, she said, “Yeah. I mean, his argument was both really painfully dumb and also really Christian-centric! I mean, hello, not everyone is Christian, I’m definitely not, so, like…”

Arthur continued on like he hadn’t even heard her, leg starting to bounce under the hand she just realized she never moved. “I me-mean, I mean, he — h-he — we, we’re — I mean, we’re jus-just, just friends. Wh— I do-don’t kno— I dunno why h-he tho-thougth we we-were —”

Vivi felt Lewis freeze under her, and she wasn’t far behind. She felt breathless, like she had been punched in the gut, like he had slapped her in the face instead of saying those three little words bouncing around her head. We’re just friends?! “Wait. Wait, what?!” The words came out closer to a whine than she would have liked them to, but she was too stunned to really care.

At the same time, Lewis gasped like he had been shot. “You’re — are you breaking up with us?!” He sounded like he was two seconds away from bursting into loud sobs in the middle of this Denny’s.

Arthur’s mouth dropped open, and he stared at them with eyes the size of dinner plates. A stunned silence fell over their booth, broken only by the wavering sound of Lewis’s breathing.

Before any more drama could happen, Vivi held up her hand, forcing the words out past the cold spot that had taken up residence between her lungs. “No. Nuh-uh. Arthur, one word answer, and we’ll talk about this all when it’s tomorrow. Are you breaking up with us?”

Arthur opened and closed his mouth a few times before volunteering a tentative, “N-no…?”

Her shoulders slumped as she let out an explosive sigh. “Alright. Let’s — tomorrow? Tomorrow, when we’re not all so tired, we’re gonna talk about this, yes?”

Arthur nodded slowly, still boggling at them for some reason. Vivi was too tired to puzzle his behavior over properly, so she just glanced up at Lewis, who also nodded, unwinding his arm from around her to wipe at his face.

The rest of the night seemed to pass in snapshots to Vivi’s tired mind. Their dinner being boxed up. Walking back to the motel, just across the parking lot. Patting Mystery on the head and telling him he’s a good boy yes he is. Collapsing face first into the delicious crisp coolness of the starched motel bed. Lewis’s deep, tired chuckle as he took her glasses off her face. The weight of another body next to hers, but not the two she had become accustomed to after countless nights on the futon in the van. 

The next morning, she woke up slowly to the smell of coffee, and made to roll over so she could sit up. Instead, the world plummeted around her as she rolled right off the bed with a sharp, panicked yelp, caught in a devious trap of tangled blankets and sheets. A soft, almost stifled snort came from her left, and a pair of hands reached into the gordian knot of fabric, deftly untangling her. She squinted up at the blur of color and fuzz, the pale yellow-orange blur instantly recognizable as Arthur.

Vivi huffed, knowing full well he was smirking at her, the bastard. “Oh, like you’ve never rolled off the bed before.” She flailed her hand towards the bedside table, groping around blindly and not finding her quarry. “Where the hell’re —” A yawn interrupted her, wide enough to make her jaw crack. 

The Arthur-blur disappeared for a second, and when he came back, he slipped her glasses into her hands, his hands nice and warm where they made contact with hers. “Lew had ‘em over on his side of the bed for some reason.”

She slipped her glasses on, and the world came into rose-tinted focus. “Thanks, Artie.” She looked around the motel room, noting a distinct lack of giant purple-headed fops and talking dogs, and frowned. “Speaking of, where is he?”

“He’s grabbing all our meds from the van, I think. At least, I’m hoping he’s grabbing all of ours, he just said he’d get the meds, but I didn’t —” Arthur cut himself off with a swig from his travel mug. “Oh, and Mystery took himself out for a walk a couple’a minutes ago.”

Vivi laughed. “He’s probably definitely grabbing all of our meds. Did he make coffee, or did you?”

“It’s from the breakfast buffet, actually. Burnt, but not horrible. Better than that place in Staccatto, anyway,” Arthur shrugged, walking over to sprawl on the couch. “I grabbed you a cup, too, don’t worry.”

“The mud we were wading around in yesterday woulda been better coffee than that place in Staccatto,” Vivi grumbled, picking herself up and making a beeline for the coffee. “I’m pretty sure it was dirt. At least fifty percent dirt.” Leaning against the wall as she drank, she picked at the feeling that she was forgetting something. Something important, not just the fact that she forgot to shower last night and as such was still covered in itchy, flaky mud and sweat and her socks were sagging down without fresh sock glue — she shook her head to clear it. She was forgetting something important, something that had happened the night before. The case had gone well, they were paid half upfront and they would get the other half later that day, Lewis was getting their meds, breakfast was either the buffet or leftovers...leftovers. Wait. Her eyes widened as the whole Denny’s escapade came back to her in a flash. The bigoted old man who had practically burst a vein yelling at them, Arthur’s comment about them being just friends — but he wasn’t breaking up with them, apparently???

Downing the rest of the coffee in one gulp, she glanced towards the door, then back to Arthur. She should wait, Vivi told herself sternly. She should wait for Lewis, because Lewis was an important part of their relationship, and he should not be left out of serious relationship discussions.

Luckily, she was saved from the antsy feeling creeping around under her shoulder blades by the sound of the door opening. Lewis ducked in, a tote bag bearing the logo of a kitschy tourist trap in his hand. He beamed as he noticed her, walking up and giving her a good morning kiss.

Vivi laughed, putting a hand on his chest and pushing him away lightly. “Lew, I haven’t even brushed my teeth yet! No morning breath kisses, we all agreed those were the worst.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Arthur start, but Lewis just laughed, walking over to the table and setting the bag down on it. He started to unpack, first his own rainbow pill caddy, then Vivi’s cylindrical one, and finally Arthur’s loose assortment of orange bottles. “Fine, fine. Meds, everybody, come and get it.”

Once they had all taken their various medications, and Arthur had been chided into using his coffee to take his meds instead of taking them dry, Vivi took a deep breath. “Okay. Boys, I think we need to have a serious conversation now.” Arthur stiffened, and his eyes darted towards the windows. Vivi immediately strode forward, sitting down on the couch next to him. “I will sit on you if I have to, Artie,” she warned him, only half joking.

Arthur sighed and slumped against the couch, covering his face with his hands. His ears were cherry-red, and Vivi couldn’t help but find it cute.

Despite the cuteness, she shared a worried glance with Lewis as he settled down on the bed across from the couch. Lewis shook his head, a worried frown pulling at his face. She took another deep, grounding breath, setting her shoulders and sitting up straight before she looked at Arthur. “Okay. Arthur. What was that last night? You — you said we were just friends,” and those words still stung like a winter wind, “But then you say you’re not breaking up with us?”

It came out a touch more accusatory than she wanted it to, and Lewis took over with a gentle, “We’re not mad, Arthur. Not disappointed, either, but — if you don’t want us to even say we’re dating when we’re in public, I wish you’d told us earlier. It’s okay if you don’t! It really is, I get it, but…”

Arthur went impossibly redder, and curled in on himself, drawing his knees up towards his chest. “I dndwrdn…” he whined, muffled by his hands.

“I didn’t catch that, sorry,” Vivi said, wrapping her hands lightly around his wrists and tugging gently, trying to get him to lower them. 

Arthur took a deep breath, dropped his hands, and half yelled, “I didn’t know we were dating!!!” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, his hands shot back up so fast he practically slapped himself in the face.

Vivi sat back, stunned. He...didn’t know? How could he possibly not know?!

“I — I, I, you — you never asked!” Arthur yelped.

Oh, she had said that out loud. “What do you — Arthur, we asked you out two months ago!”

Lewis raised his hands in a T, using the same tone he used on his sisters when they were getting too rowdy. “Okay, you two, time out!”

They both fell silent, turning to face Lewis.

Lewis tilted his head, looking at their boyfriend. Who...apparently didn’t know that he was their boyfriend. “Arthur...do you really not remember? We asked you out when we were back home, almost two months ago.”

“Okay, yes, it was a month, four weeks, and five days, not two months, but I don’t think semantic arguments are gonna be a big help here, babe,” Vivi grumbled.

Arthur shook his head wordlessly, still hiding his cherry-red face.

A month, four weeks, five days, and a handful of hours ago…

“It honestly feels so weird not living out of the van, doesn’t it?” Vivi mused, taking a bite of pizza.

“It really does. I’d completely forgotten what it was like to be woken up in the morning by forty pounds of overenthusiastic child launched directly at my sternum,” Lewis laughed, rubbing at his chest.

“Lew, we’ve only been road tripping for three months. That’s a bit quick, big guy,” Arthur snickered, pausing to shove half a slice of his weird oyster pizza in his mouth.

“It was so nice, though! The most I had to deal with while living with y’all is your pointy elbows!” Lewis leaned over and mussed Arthur’s hair. A laugh bubbled out of Arthur as he batted at Lewis’s hand futilely, trying to save his cone of hair gel. Laughing, Lewis subsided, pulling back. “But, yeah, I woke up this morning with a Cayenne-shaped bruise right on my sternum.”

Vivi winced sympathetically, shaking her head. “Ouch. Did she mean to?”

“Nah. Just excited.” Lewis’s smile turned fond. “They missed me. Demanded souvenirs and made me sit down and be their personal giant teddy bear as they watched Moana for the eighth time. Then Paprika gave me about twenty bead bracelets. When y’all come to the Paradiso, she’s got your piles waiting.”

“She’s still doing bead bracelets?” Vivi asked, a note of excitement in her voice. The last time they had all gotten bead bracelets from Paprika, it was right after the Peppers had explained what transgender meant, and the three of them had all gotten a bead bracelet with the word transgender wildly misspelled, the pink, white, and blue of the flag slapped randomly on there. It was the best piece of jewelry she owned — hers said “trasgenner”, Arthur’s said “trainsgandr”, and Lewis’s said “trasgeneer”. Paprika had been very determined to do it on her own, and had just gone with her best guess on each one.

“Yep! She’s got one for both of you that has your favorite animal as a charm,” Lewis revealed, grinning.

“Perfect!” Vivi did a very restrained fist pump.

Arthur hummed, staring at the pizza boxes on the table. It was almost a full twenty seconds before he grabbed another slice. “That actually sounds really nice. Both the, the bracelets and the personal teddy bear Moana thing.”

“Honestly, it wasn’t bad at all.”

Silence descended on their table, comfortable and companionable. Vivi shut her pizza box, setting her elbows on the table and propping her head on her hands, studying the two in front of her. Butterflies were building in her stomach — they were just both so beautiful, the warm noonday sunlight making both her boys glow in different ways. Arthur looked like he was wreathed in gold, his hair and eyes shining the same color as the sunlight. On the other hand, the warm light brought out the full richness of Lewis’s skin tone and made his hair gleam like the satin of his ascot, as well as glinting off his sparkly magenta nail polish. She made eye contact with Lewis, jerking her chin towards Arthur and wiggling her eyebrows.

Lewis blushed, glancing at Arthur nervously. Arthur, completely oblivious, simply leaned back in his chair, eyes drifting closed. He didn’t look tired, or, at least, not drop dead exhausted, just relaxed, happy, and full, so Vivi took a deep breath, squaring her shoulders.

“So, Artie...there’s something we’ve been meaning to ask you.”

Arthur opened his eyes, meeting her gaze curiously. There was no undercurrent of nervousness in his eyes, and Vivi was warmed to the core by his trust in them — she had asked an extremely open-ended question. “Huh? What’s up?”

Lewis cleared his throat. “We want to ask you if...Arthur, would you like to go out with us?”

“I thought that’s what we’re already doing right now…?” Arthur looked adorably confused, brow furrowed as he looked between them. 

Vivi shook her head. “No, like, as a date. Will you go on a date with us, and-or be our boyfriend?”

Arthur sat very still for a long moment (she wasn’t even sure he was breathing) before a grin unfolded across his face, as resplendent as the sun itself. “Yeah. I’d — I’d really love that. I — yeah. Yeah, I’ll go out with you and be your boyfriend.”

“Oh, perfect!” Vivi squealed, barely restraining herself from launching across the table and kissing him until he was more lipstick-mark than man. “When works best for you? Should we go somewhere in town, or wait til we’re on the road again? There’s this sushi place in Tremolo that I’ve just been dying to try, we should go there, if we’re waiting til we’re on the road again. Or just in general, it seems really good and I haven’t had good sushi in ages.”

Arthur tilted his head, clearly considering her words. His smile took on a wistful edge. “...y’know...I don’t really need all the fancy date stuff. Just...I’m happy to do what we’ve been doing, just...together. Having you guys be — being with you guys, romantically — that...that would be enough for me,” he said softly.

Lewis grinned over at him, soft and sappy, and opened his mouth. Before he could say anything, his phone rang in his pocket, and he pulled it out, grimacing a little as he checked the caller ID. “It’s Papá. Hold on, I gotta take this.” He stood up, stepping a bit away. Not a minute later, he stepped back, regretful smile firmly in place. “...sorry, guys. I’m needed back at the Paradiso for free childcare,” he joked.

“Aww…” Vivi was really only half disappointed. They had pretty much finished up lunch, only a few slices left between the three of them (none of them hers), and she had a shift at the Tome Tomb coming up soon, anyway. And, more importantly, they had asked Arthur out and he said yes! Their couple was now officially a polycule!

Arthur rubbed the back of his neck. “I can — give you a ride. I gotta get back to Uncle Lance’s place anyway, I’m...” he trailed off, and Vivi waited maybe ten seconds for him to finish his sentence before accepting that he had lost his train of thought.

“Well, then...the Tome Tomb ain’t far, I can walk. I guess this is the end of our first date,” Vivi sighed. She stood up, standing on her tiptoes and pulling Lewis down for a chaste kiss before walking over and pressing a kiss to Arthur’s stubble-roughened cheek — familiar territory that should have been safe enough, she did that in the post-case exhilaration at least half the time. 

Arthur blushed bright red anyway, and she left with a bright laugh, walking on clouds with the universe held in her hands.

A month, four weeks, five days, and a handful of hours after that…

Arthur groaned, running a hand through his hair. “Really?! I — guys, I had been awake for, like, two solid days at that point!”

“So you — you don’t remember us asking you out at all?” Lewis asked, shocked. 

“No! Or — well — ki-kinda? I — kinda thought I was dreaming…” Arthur trailed off into muttering, fidgeting with his bracelets and not making eye contact.

Vivi paused for a moment, eyebrows creeping up. “Wow. Way to inflate our egos, there, Artie,” she joked. 

“Wh— how am I inflating your ego?!” Arthur jerked his head up to look at her.

“We asked you out and you literally thought you were dreaming. We’re literally your dream partners!” She cackled.

Instead of laughing, Arthur rubbed the back of his neck, looking down, his words spilling out in a jumble. “Um. Y-yeah, actually...I — didn’t think it was — I, I mean, I’d, um I’d had dreams...like that...before. And...uh. Since then if I’m being honest.”

Vivi felt a blush rising in her cheeks, and she covered her mouth. 

“That’s...that’s incredibly sweet, Artie…” Lewis managed, blushing harder than she was. 

Vivi cleared her throat. “Sap,” she managed, shaking her head fondly.

Arthur took a deep, shaky breath. “So, um. Can...can we start over? On dating? I do — I really, really do want to date you guys, for real, I just...didn’t...know?”

“Of course!” Vivi and Lewis exclaimed in accidental unison.

“And this time you’ve definitely slept enough to be lucid,” Lewis added on lightheartedly. “You were snoring before I fell asleep.”

“Well…” Arthur smiled, lopsided. “I’m pretty sure I am, anyway. Lucid, that is — and how could you hear me snoring over Vivi’s, anyway? But, uh —”

“— Hey!” Vivi interrupted. “I don’t snore that loud!”

“You sound like a train, Vivs,” Arthur teased, before clearing his throat. “But, uh. Anyway. Wanna...wanna pinch me so I’m sure I’m not dreaming this time?”

Vivi smirked at him. “I’ll do you one better, actually.” 

Before he could respond, Vivi leaned over, pressing a kiss to his lips. It took him a moment to react, startled, but he hesitantly started to kiss back after a second or two. There weren’t any fireworks, at least for her; if anything, it felt like being electrocuted, but in a good way, sparks shooting through her whole body, curling her toes and making her fingertips tingle. Arthur’s hand came up to grip at her sweater. Vivi kept the kiss chaste, and pulled back after a moment, glancing at Lewis.

Lewis pouted at her, a smile tugging at his lips and his voice. “Aww, I wanted to kiss him first, you got to do it at the restaurant.”

Arthur licked his lips, breath coming out a little funny, and swallowed hard before he got up and stepped towards Lewis, grinning crookedly. “W-well...consolation prize?”

Lewis let out a bark of laughter, startling Arthur into jumping a little, and pulled Arthur close with a gentle hand. “I can live with that,” he murmured, leaning in to kiss him. 

Vivi settled back, watching her boys kiss from the lumpy motel couch. It felt like coming home, like kicking off her shoes and shedding her stress as easily as taking off her scarf. She ran her tongue over her teeth absentmindedly, and grimaced. “Whoops. Sorry, Artie, didn’t mean for our first kiss to be a morning breath kiss.”

Arthur broke away from the kiss he was sharing with Lewis to blink at her, swaying a little bit. “...huh?” he managed, brain visibly rebooting. “Oh! Uh. It’s okay, I don’t think I...noticed?”

“Still, it’s the principle of the matter,” Vivi wrinkled her nose, standing up. “I’ll be right back, you two keep doing what you’re doing.” She tossed in a wink for good measure, and made her way to the bathroom with the accompaniment of Arthur’s flustered squeak and Lewis’s deep, rich laughter.

[spnfanficpond]

Pond Diving - Imagineteamfreewill

Welcome to today’s Pond Diving Spotlight! We hope that you enjoy this little insight to our members and perhaps even find some useful tips for your own writing. Happy reading!

Want to volunteer, send us an ask! We’re looking forward to learning more about all of you! Not sure what PD is, you can learn more here.

“Don’t Be Koi About It” - All About You

Name: Meg

Age: 20s

Location: United States

URL: @imagineteamfreewill

Why did you choose your URL: I first started out structuring my stories as imagines, and the “Team Free Will” part was pretty obvious.

What inspired you to become a writer: Reading Supernatural fanfiction inspired me to get back into writing, but I’ve always enjoyed it. My mom likes to talk about how when I was in Kindergarten, I drew a picture about how I wanted to be an author and now I write in my free time.

How long have you been writing: According to tumblr, I’ve been writing fanfiction since 2014, but I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember.

What do you do when you are not writing i.e. Job/Hobbies etc? I’m a music teacher, so I sing and play piano, and I’ve played a bit of cello and tenor saxophone as well. I love movies, baking, sleeping, and a few video games.

How long have you been in the SPN Fandom? I joined sometime around Season 8 or 9, I think. I don’t really remember!

Are you in any other fandoms and do you write for them? I really enjoy Marvel and I’ve read a lot of Marvel fics, but I don’t write for them. I like a lot of TV shows (New Girl, Parks and Rec, The Good Place, Outlander, etc), but I wouldn’t consider myself part of the fandom.

Do you do any writing outside of fanfiction? If so, tell us about it? I love to write poetry. I had a poetry blog at truenorth-ink a while ago, but I haven’t updated it recently at all. Most of my poems aren’t published or posted anywhere.

Favorite published author: I love some of the early series by Rick Riordan and I also really enjoy poetry by Nikita Gill and Atticus. Lately, I've really been getting into Leigh Bardugo's books.

Have you ever read a book that made an impact on your life? Which one and why?: I think "East" by Edith Pattou really affected me! I read it when I was in 6th-8th grade and I think about it often. I think it's something that really stuck with me and got me interested in fantasy books so much. I read it at least once a year.

Favorite genre of fanfic (smut, angst, fluff, crack, rpf, etc): I love angsty stuff, and most of the time I prefer it when it has some fluff mixed in. Straight fluff is often hard for me to read because I need something that’s more realistic for my own life and point of view. I also really like whump, but that can be a lot sometimes so it depends on my mood.

Favorite piece of your own writing: I don’t know if I have a favorite, but I loved writing Back to the Start (my mermaid series) and The Switch (a canon-divergent apocalyptic Reader x Sam series). Right now, I'm really enjoying my Consort series (a Goddess!Reader x Dean series). Creating my own rules in my own little universes is one of my favorite things to do, especially since I can’t always do whatever I want in real life.

Most underrated fic you have written: Empire. I loved getting to write Boyking!Sam because it was so different from my normal Sam stories and I did a lot of research for it. I’m pretty proud that the story never got too bloody or gory, too, so if you want some Boyking!Sam that’s not drenched in blood (for lack of a better term), I’m your girl!

Story of yours that you’d most like to see turned into a movie/tv show: Probably Back to the Start or The Switch. I think those two series would be amazing to see with J2, the rest of the cast/characters I included, and special effects! There’s so much I’d want to explore with both of them that I didn’t put into the series.

Favorite Tumblr Writer(s): @luci-in-trenchcoats, @sunlightdances, @supernaturalfreewill, @lipstickandwhiskey, @smol-and-grumpy, @percywinchester27, and @kaz2y5-imagines

Favorite fic from another writer:  I don’t think I could pick just one, but I’ve read all of @sunlightdances Dean fics multiple times. Her works got me through some pretty sucky times in my life and I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of her writing! I’ve also been reading her Bucky fics recently and it’s made me love Marvel fics even more than before!​

Favorite character to write: Sam Winchester

Favorite Pairing to write: Reader x Sam (Reader x Dean is a close second)

Least favorite character to write (and why): I don’t like to write for Crowley or Gabriel. Gadreel is hard for me even though I can do it, but I don’t understand Crowley or Gabriel’s personalities at all because they’re literally so far away from mine.

Do you have anyone you consider a mentor? No, although @lipstickandwhiskey and @kaz2y5-imagines really encouraged me in my writing!​

Do you have any aspirations involving your writing? I would love to write a non-Supernatural work of fiction to publish, but that’s a long way off.

How many work-in-progress stories do you have: Oh Lord, I have so many! I have at least four series and two one shots in the works right now. I've also got over 100 one shots/series plotlines written out in the notes on my phone and various Google Docs.

What are you currently working on? I’m currently working on a Cinderella series, my Underworld series, my Puer Rex series, my Consort series, an Author!Sam fic, and an Author!Dean fic. I also write stories for my Words series now and again.

“Pond Diving” - All About The Writing

What/who has had the biggest influence on your writing? Reading other people’s work. The intense storylines of @luci-in-trenchcoats ’s fics have gotten me to be more bold with my writing and the emotions and description in @supernaturalfreewill’s works have inspired me to let my work have more feeling.

Best writing advice you've been given: Not necessarily writing advice, but I was once told that anything worth doing is worth doing at least a little bit every day. Think about it—if you wrote even just five minutes a day, how much better will you get over the course of a month? A year?

Biggest obstacle you’ve faced in your writing: Repetition of words and commas. So many commas and so many uses of the same word over and over again. It’s a hard balance between using the word and using synonyms without sounding like I’m sitting there googling synonyms for “said”. I also tend to spend a lot of time on things that I think are super important but aren’t really important in the long run. I’m wordy as hell and my writing would be dull if I didn’t edit it as thoroughly as I do.

What aspects of writing do you find difficult when you write fanfiction? A lot of times I have these ideas that I think would make a great series but I don’t think through them, so planning out the plot of a series (or even a standalone fic) beforehand is something I struggle with.

Is there anything you want to write but are afraid to (and why): I would love to write more fics that have the characters dealing with severe mental disorders or that take place in a mental hospital, but I’m afraid that I’ll portray something wrong and solidify harmful stereotypes about what it’s like to deal with those things.

What inspires/motivates you to write: Honestly, just wanting to write things that I enjoy. Sometimes I get sick of reading other peoples’ stuff since it’s not exactly what I want, so I just write my own!

How do you deal with self doubt: Understand that sometimes it happens. You’ll doubt yourself—everybody does. If I’m doubting myself or my writing, I’ll take a break until I remember why I write. Then I’ll remember that yeah, writing for an audience is fun, but I write because I have cool ideas I want to explore, not because I need the attention or love of strangers. Lastly, I’ll reread my old fics, especially the ones I love, and then I’ll go back and edit old fics that I haven’t looked at in a while. That way I can see how I’ve improved and I don’t feel so terrible anymore! Reading my own fics is a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine, and I’ll read through my masterlists every once a while just to remind myself of the things I’ve loved, where I’ve been, and where I’m going.

How do you deal with writer's block: Like I said, I reread old fics and edit old fics that I haven’t looked at in a while. Seeing the things I’ve done before always helps to focus me. I’ll also read other people’s stuff or talk about headcanons with some friends to try and find some inspiration.

Do you plan/outline your story before you start: Lately I have been, but only because my periods of intense inspiration and productivity are getting farther and farther apart because of my job. I’ve found planning it out to be more and more helpful, especially for my series. A lot of times if I get a great idea, I’ll outline the whole plot or any significant details I want to put in that one shot/series so that I can come back to it whenever I have the time or I’m inspired for it again.

Do you have any weird writing habits: I write best in places that are unfamiliar to me or in places/times where I shouldn’t be writing. Class? Writing. Airport terminal? Writing. 4am when I have to be up at 6? Writing.

Have you ever received hateful comments on your fic and how do you deal with it? Not that I remember! I feel like there’s probably been one or two over the years, but I probably just got upset about it with my friends for a while and then got over it.

Conversely: what’s been some of your favorite feedback on your fanfic? A long time ago, when I was writing Back to the Start, I had one person who sent me asks for every single series update. I screenshotted them and saved them on my laptop. There’s one particular one where they say that they’re happier because of my writing and honestly, isn’t that what we all strive for? That people’s lives are better because of our stories? I’ve also had some pretty great friends recently who’ve made it a point to reblog and send asks/messages on all my works, which has been so meaningful that I never replied to the asks. They’re sitting in my inbox and I go through and reread them sometimes when I’m feeling down.

If you could give one piece of advice to a new and/or struggling writer, what would it be?  ​Write down everything. If you come up with an amazing piece of dialogue, even if it’s just one sentence or one person talking, or if you come up with something you’d think would be a great title… WRITE IT DOWN. It doesn’t matter if it fits into whatever you’re currently writing or not, it’ll come in handy! I don’t know how many times I’ve gone through my idea list and found really obscure lines/titles/inspiration that didn’t make sense when I wrote them down, but are now exactly what I need to finish a fic. Even if you don’t end up using it, jotting down your ideas is still writing, and that’s good practice!

[outbythehighwind]

The Misconceptions of FF7: A Cloud, Aerith & Tifa Analysis Part 2/5

Link to all parts: https://outbythehighwind.tumblr.com/post/640347336477966336/the-misconceptions-of-ff7-a-cloud-aerith-tifa

Last post, I examined the misconceptions around Cloud’s character with a brief psychological analysis on how the selves that are “Ex-SOLDIER” Cloud and ‘real’ Cloud pertain to ‘Cloud’ the being. This was to evidence that Cloud’s feelings (as both “Ex-SOLDIER” and his true self) are ‘Cloud’s’, and to refute the nonsensical notions that: the player until the Lifestream sequence is not really playing as Cloud; Cloud’s feelings toward Aerith are Zack’s; and only the ‘real’ Cloud’s feelings for Tifa are valid (because “Ex-SOLDIER” Cloud has feelings for Aerith).

I had referred to ‘feelings’ in the general sense. These next two posts will examine them in the specific spheres of friendship and romance.

Nowhere in the game or FF7 compilation does it explicitly state that Cloud romantically “loves” or “is in love with” Aerith or Tifa. FF7 handles its themes in a manner that is incredibly human and complex. So, before attempting an objective analysis of his ‘feelings’ beyond the general sense – ie. what kind of love he has for each woman – I want to draw attention to the role of the player.

The developers want the player to form their own attachments, have the agency to play to them out, and have their own emotions evoked throughout their experience of the game. This is why the love triangle exists within the narrative – narrative being that tool by design (how the story is told; the lens by which the player experiences the game, and the tool by which the writers play with the player’s emotions). The player can, to a degree, make choices that alter story events within the narrative. They can manipulate the affection points to take Aerith or Tifa (or even Yuffie) on the Gold Saucer date. They can keep the relationship with both women platonic and have a bro’s night out with Barret. A player who is torn between the girls can therefore experience ‘more’ of the love triangle than a player who takes the latter route of bonding with Barret.

Which brings me to another nonsensical argument: that because the date mechanics ‘favor’ Aerith (who begins with a 20 affection point advantage over Tifa), the game wants Cloud to date Aerith, and therefore Cloud’s true love is Aerith. Again, nonsense. For this argument to stand, it must first adhere to the fact that the love triangle exists outside of the date mechanics: if the game wants Cloud to date Aerith, it must want Cloud to date Aerith in its plot (the always true relationship between story events that does not alter on player decision). This particular date is only an available option within the narrative. That is not to say it is not canonical – quite the contrary. Of course Aerith’s date is canonical. So is Tifa’s, or Yuffie’s, or Barret’s – if the player so chooses. It is not a plot matter, but an experience for the player.

But let us assume, for a moment, that it were a plot matter. Let us assume Cloud’s ‘romantic love’ is the person he spends the night out with at Gold Saucer. Aside from the obvious Barret and Yuffie alternatives, here is the problem: who comes for a night out is not determined by Cloud’s affection toward them, but their approachability in their affections toward Cloud. It is Aerith or Tifa (or Barret or Yuffie) who takes Cloud out. Naturally Aerith would begin with points higher than Tifa because there is no barrier of a dark & secret past between them, and Tifa has lower self-confidence, tending to lock her feelings away.

So the player has agency over the Gold Saucer experience. This does not alter the plot. Aerith will die; and Cloud’s “sealed up secret wish” involving Tifa will be brought to light in the Lifestream.

Cloud’s feelings in the plot sense – ie. as they truly are (not to the player’s subjection, but objectively Cloud’s) – are complex. Before giving my two cents worth on two beautifully deep relationships, to all who say that ‘because Cloud romantically loves one girl he doesn’t care about the other,’ I propose the following statement:

“Those who cannot conceive Friendship as a substantive love but only as a disguise or elaboration of Eros betray the fact that they have never had a Friend.” – C.S. Lewis

I lament with Mr. Lewis at the degradation of friendship's meaning in the world today. So when I speak of friendship, I wish to stress its meaning: that it is one of the highest forms of love.

Cloud’s feelings toward Aerith, I believe, can be interpreted as either of the two loves – friendship or Eros (romantic love) – or both. Even within the experience of Gold Saucer, I personally have not any solid evidence that Cloud’s feelings for Aerith are Eros, and whether they are or not has no influence on the plot. Cloud and Aerith will become (very) close; Aerith will die; Cloud will be distraught; and Cloud will continue the fight they started together – Eros or no Eros. That being said, I can see how conclusions of Eros are a possibility. Cloud’s investment in Aerith’s journey and well-being is very personal. His care toward her runs so deep, in fact, that his “Ex-SOLDIER” persona is often cracked.

Aerith is the first and only character to humor this self that Cloud is so desperate to project to the world. She takes the mickey by giving him the title なんでも屋さん (“Nandemoyasan”) – “Mr. Jack of all trades”. Yet she allows him to ‘play SOLDIER’ in making him her bodyguard and supportively holding him to that role.

Cloud is encouraged and feels strong when he is with Aerith. She raises his self-confidence and trust in his own strength in a uniquely distinct way that no other character does – not even Tifa. Though he is encouraged by Tifa to “be strong” also – in a uniquely distinct way pertaining to his accepting of self (which is, ultimately, what saves him) – Cloud feels weak around Tifa, due to his constant failure to live up to being her hero as he perceives it. With Aerith, we have the opposite effect.

Aerith simultaneously encourages the “Ex-SOLDIER” façade and breaks through it. They share laughter and tease one another on the rooftops. Cloud reveals his soft side when urging her to open up to him.

Aerith realizes that she does not know the ‘real’ Cloud, and tries very hard to find him, to bring him out. However, she does not. Not even within the Lifestream where he ends up twice in a broken state and she has maintained her complete physical consciousness. This is a role that only Tifa can fulfil.

Likewise, Cloud realizes Aerith is facing her own inner struggle – of what it means to be a Cetra – and he time and again goes out of his way to try help her, from risking his life to rescue her from Shinra to pushing to talk to her even when she wants to be left alone (note how Aerith turns her face away in the screenshots below). The writing stresses that this is by Cloud’s own investment, not simply that of the party’s as its leader. “But I’m… we’re here for you, right?”

Paralleling Aerith’s inability to reach Cloud’s true self, Cloud is unable to help her in discovering and fulfilling her task as the last Cetra, and Aerith finds herself more and more “alone” in pertinence to her inner conflict.

Her nandemoyasan, her dear friend, fails her, and that haunts Cloud after her death as he grapples with his own role in saving the Planet – a hope that is lost without Aerith.

Which now brings us to her death.

Aerith dies at the point where Cloud’s inner conflict against Sephiroth first peaks for the worst. Just having become aware that Sephiroth can override his very conscious (being forced to hand over the Black Materia in the Temple of the Ancients), Cloud has begun to doubt himself and is immensely afraid of who he is. Immediately following is his failure to save Aerith.

Cloud, whose entire life struggle and “Ex-SOLDIER” persona were built upon his self-loathing due to feelings of failure, weakness and inadequacy, has just failed to save this woman so precious to him. We see the haunting and guilt it holds over him in Advent Children, where he despairs and distances himself from his family for fear of failing them too.

Cloud does everything in his power to ensure Aerith’s mission is complete, not just for sake of the Planet, but for Aerith. The fight for the Planet is the party’s fight – the “we” fight, together as a whole. But it is more for Cloud, so much more.

“I’ll do the rest.”

Cloud’s external fight for the Planet and his personal feud with Sephiroth is in much part out of his deep love for Aerith.

This love is, no doubt, an incredibly powerful mutual friendship. It is clear that, in addition to this friendship, Aerith has romantic feelings for Cloud (which I will evidence in part 4), but what of Cloud for Aerith? Could he have feelings for her that are Eros too? Absolutely. I have found no evidence implicitly for it, nor implicitly against it, and that to me is a beauty of player experience in the narrative. (I also believe this is what Nomura meant when he expressed his desire to leave interpretation to the player.)

However, in the sense of plot and Cloud’s feelings that are not up for the player’s interpretation, I hold to my understanding that Cloud – even if having romantic feelings toward Aerith – is romantically in love with Tifa, and that that Eros is core to his very being.

I will not say “there’s nothing more” between Aerith and Cloud even in my interpretation of them as friends. For that implies friendship is a lesser love than Eros, which I do not believe is true. C.S. Lewis said that (no pun intended) “To the Ancients, Friendship seemed the happiest and most fully human of all loves,” “the crown of life and the school of virtue”, and I agree with his saying that “few value it because few experience it.”

My hope is simply this: that people would lose this notion of ‘competition’ – that one girl must win ‘all’ of Cloud’s affections, and that at the expense of one ‘winning’, his relationship with the other is belittled.

Link to all parts: https://outbythehighwind.tumblr.com/post/640347336477966336/the-misconceptions-of-ff7-a-cloud-aerith-tifa

[smilingleoo]

Bts reaction- thinking that your boobs are fake

Request: Hi i know its weird but can i have a preference or imagine where they think your boobs are fake haha ily thankss

Warnings: smutty scenes I guess (?

Author´s Note: Hey! It´s not weird at all anon, enjoy!!!!!

-------

RM (Kim Namjoon)

He wouldn't deny that he had stared at your boobs so as to decipher if they were real or not.

When he first met you, he thought you were the sexiest woman on earth. He declared to the boys he found you absolutely stunning and even surreal. However, he just had one question; where you attributes natural? Not that he minded, of course. He was a man who believed that people could do what they felt like but he was also a curious boy. Therefore, when you had finally accepted to be his girlfriend, he finally asked you.

“No, baby”-you laughed-” They are 100% real”

Jin (Kim Seokjin)

Like Namjoon, he would stare (who wouldn´t tho)

Being his funny, sassy self, he would sometimes blurt out things he wasn´t meant to. Not that he minded but he could appear to be rude to other people, even more to the ones who he had recently met, Well, a something similar had happened while talking with you. Bangtan had decided to go on vacation to a beautiful hotel. You, fortunately, worked there and, since day one, Seokjin couldn´t seem to take his eyes off of you. Therefore, one day he decided to approach the bar you had been placed in and made sure to start a small talk with. However, his stupid mouth cracked a dad joke about surgeries and esthetic. He was quick to mentally blame himself for being so utterly disrespectful since he thought that your boobs were fake. Yet he was relieved to hear that he hadn´t been rude at all.

“ That was a good one”-you giggled-” Imagine if a had gotten a surgery, you would have been so screwed”

That´s when he fell hard for you.

Suga (Min Yoongi)

Surprise Yoongi would suddenly appear.

Don´t get him wrong, he would actually really like them. His eyes would unintentionally stagger their way down to your breast, debating whether they were real or not. Like Namjoon, he wouldn´t really care but it was just a question that seemed to pop in his mind whenever he stared at you for too long. Everyone knew that Yoongi was an extremely respectful and silent man, opting most of the time to save his opinions to himself. However, he had to plaster his attraction towards you somewhere. Just like he portrayed his anger and frustration on Cyphers, he decided to write a short rap dedicated you your outstanding beauty. However, he didn´t listen to you entering his studio and heard a particular line that made you laugh.

“ If you´re so curious, min Yoongi”-he stopped embarrassed-” You should´ve asked. No, they are actually pretty natural”

Jhope (Jung Hoseok)

Okay, he couldn´t concentrate if he had you dancing so near him.

Not because he didn´t like it but for the fact that his mind always seemed too keen on gazing your boobs rather than follow the choreography. They were just so perfect he couldn´t even get a hold on himself-” Maybe we should for today”-you suggested and everyone agreed. Nevertheless, when all the boys had lefts but Hoseok you decided to ask him if he wanted to review some part of the dance. He, of course, couldn´t deny such an offer, so you spent most of the afternoon dancing and laughing in the practice. Little did Hobi know that in one specific move his hand would accidentally land on your breast. You gasped and retreated immediately. Hoseok apologized while bowing respectfully but you dismissed him with a joke.

Now Hoseok knew they were actually incredibly natural.

Jimin (Park Jimin)

Shy boy.

He was scrolling through his secret instagram account and suddenly came across (because he was not stalking you or that´s what he said) an old photo you had posted. Of course, he made a screenshot of it and analyzed every detail with outstanding precision. His eyes rambled across your stunning body until they found his source of confusion. Your boobs were the most mysterious yet gorgeous things he had the pleasure to appreciate. He had alway been curious about their whereabouts because, really, they couldn´t be real. Having nothing to lose, he decided to text you with a fake account and ask you about it. He would have done so face-to-face but both of you didn´t have that much trust yet.

Are your boobs fake?

No, lol. Why?

*Surprised mochi has enetered the chat*

V (Kim Taehyung)

Kim Taehyung was extremely touchy since you started dating him.

His hadns would wander along your legs, waist and neck every time they could. Even sometimes, when he was busy with something else, he would unconsciously drag his palm along your thigh. However, his favorite part to explore were your boobs. Of course he didn´t do it as frequently as with more discreet parts, but he made sure to massage them once in a while through cuddling. He always had asked hismelf if such perfect breast existed naturally. He had always wanted to ask you yet, most of the time, he forgot. 

“ Baby, why do you like feeling my boobs so much?”-you would as in the middle of a movie.

“ I want to decipher if they´re fake or not”

“ You could just ask me, you weirdo”-you sighed giggling-” Of course they´re not fake!”

Jungkook (Jeon Jungkook)

I deeply think that Jungkook wouldn´t mind asking you at all.

He would be shy at the start of your relationship but would soon warm up. I mean, he is so comfortable around people he knows or has already met. Therefore, after an year of being together he woudn´t mind at all. His doubt would pop in his mind during a conversation with his Hyungs about you. They all concluded that you were extremely pretty and that Jungkook was a lucky guy yet Jimin, who knows that Jungkook wouldn´t get mad since he kbew that you only loved him, asked-” Are her breast like...made?”

Jungkooks frown made it clear that he had no clue. Thus, later that day, he waited for you to stroll out of the bathroom to ask you-” Babe, are your boob natural?”

“ Yes”

“ Cool”-he nodded-” Let me grope them just to be sure”

“ Jungkook!”

[nileqt87]

Despair For Castiel: A Review

From a series of posts before and after watching:

Before:

As far as I'm concerned, I'm now imagining the Empty having to deal with Gabriel and Balthazar redecorating the Empty into the angel/demon afterlife (probably with a lot of wacky alternate realities and bad porno) with all the free will angels and redemptive demons invited, Cas finding Meg and eventually Jack again for his true happy ending that he can have and Crowley probably trying to install himself as king again. Then when Rowena finally exits as Queen of Hell, she'll join and Crowley will annoyed, but Gabriel will be happy to see her again. LOL.

Megstielers also got robbed hard with all that setup of Cas still pining for Meg for YEARS, the Empty using her image (not Dean!) to taunt him (the Empty clearly saw Meg in Cas' head when it could have taken the form of anyone, including Cas like last time) and a whole dropped plot thread that Cas made a deal with Ruby to break a demon out of the Empty, which only makes sense with the one and only demon he'd actually want to let out of the Empty. That's dangling one 'ship a whole bunch of carrots (like every single Clarence reference for a decade) to rip the rug out from under them.

I suppose I should've seen it coming when the previously on segment for 15x13 was a Pizza Man and the Babysitter retrospective that shoved Cas out of the Pizza Man role beside Babysitter Nurse Meg to shove Dean into Megstiel's sexy times meme. I guess it turned Cas into just Dean's Baby in a Trench Coat (which was an insult about being useless to Dean's cause without powers, which suggests Cas has no worth to him otherwise), since he got infantilized with the removal of the Pizza Man originally being him.

I still haven't watched the episode. The Tumblr crap is that off-putting.

What should've been an epic moment in Cas' story is now tainted by his love of humanity, found family and free will (his real love story is with all of humanity and finding belonging, in spite of always being on the outside looking in on a life he can't have because he's not human) being reduced to horny girls who just want fetish smut with Dean and don't give a fig about canon Cas outside of a toxic, abusive crack!ship. It's always so immature and vapid!

It was immediately clear when I joined the fandom that shockingly few gave a crap about any character but Dean, even refusing to see what he's become in later seasons. Also numerous examples where they admit having not seen the show in a decade or only knowing the show via manipulative .gif sets. Cas and Sam (if they remember him at all) are just props or prizes to be won. They ignore context of familial/platonic relationships. Canon love interests aren't good enough because they're not the big prize of being a main. I also note the deluge of Wincest girls who hate Cas for existing (he's in their way) in the anti-Destiel tag.

I can't say the .gifs are making me want to watch, even though the dialog is vague enough to still fit Cas' actual character for the general audience who isn't glued to social media.

As for Dean's non-reaction, I had similar problems with Jensen's constipated acting back in 15x03 when Cas finally walked away while Dean looked like he couldn't care less, which the writers coincidentally praised Jensen for (holy crap that interview was up his backside) and completely ignored Misha actually giving a good performance in a scene that actually meant something long coming for Cas. I certainly can't say the same about the quality of this scene, which just looks forced on both ends.

I hope I like the episode more than the sounds of it, but my hopes aren't high. This is not how I wanted Cas' final moments on the show to be.

After:

Well, I got up the stomach to watch it tonight. Thankfully, in context, it definitely got blown way out of proportion by what the Hellers turned it into (as usual). Yeah, even when watching while unfortunately not blind to the wackadoodle fandom discourse, it played out better on screen than the .gifs. And frankly, a whole lot less like creepy Care Bear stare nightmare fuel than the few choice screenshots kept showing (yikes). I still wish Sam and Jack had been there, because they're just as much part of what connected Cas to feeling like part of a family (even more so in the later years), but it's not the total monstrosity it was turned into online.

Average viewers who just take canon as is without trying to read into it what they want to be there instead, IMO, will safely interpret it platonically (even if coming after a particularly hellish few years in Dean's personality rot where the whole friendship was beginning to be questionable) more often than not because that's what the canon has said for a dozen years. Again, I repeat that Cas already told the Winchesters he loved them when he thought he was dying.

It's a crime to have Cas' perfect philia (brotherly), storge (parental) and agape-style (sacrificial and unconditional) loves being immaturely twisted into eros in a way that degrades the whole meaning of the character's journey. People telling each other they love one another when it's not sexual should never be mocked into being afraid to do so because of this insidious, willful misinterpretation. If only somebody had told Cas they love him instead of him always being the one with his heart on his sleeve!

This character went from being tortured into a robotic, emotionless, ancient, not-remotely-humanoid being who couldn't relate to the simplest of human needs to being someone deeply in love with humanity and wanting to find belonging amongst it despite knowing it would always end with him watching them all grow old and die after having families and such experiences angels are forbidden from having (another reason why Jack was so important to Cas' story).

The wording is valid for that philia/agape interpretation, given Cas definitely equated Dean (whom Cas watched sacrificing himself for Sam endlessly, including why he had to be raised from perdition in the first place) with a guide role in his learning to understand humanity and proudly-defiant free will before he could love it. It's valid enough to say that Cas wouldn't have broken his programming permanently without being challenged to question everything he'd ever believed and give up his entire angelic belonging. That much of it did begin with Cas just happening to be the angel who succeeded in the Hell rescue.

Obviously, it's also canon that Cas had a long history of not following orders and getting lobotomized by Naomi, but Cas actually understanding humanity and what free will means did happen only after this particular rebellion. I'm very glad at least that was in the speech, but of course, it's being hopelessly ignored.

I stand by my interpretation that what Cas can't have has always been the tragic version of The Little Mermaid where she turns into sea foam in the end. Cas has always looked in on what everyone else takes for granted from the outsider's perspective. There's a part of him that will always be left out, no matter how well he learns to fit in and how much those around him begin to treat him as a real person. Cas never really got to truly belong with humanity, no matter how much he loves and is loved by it. He's also not getting to stay where he wants to be. There's no Pinocchio ending for Cas that turns him into a real Winchester.

Sadly, Dean's constant othering of him and Jack like they're just more monsters to hunt only alienated them more. Jack was someone Cas could relate to as a supernatural being capable of human emotions, which might also have furthered his draw towards Meg. Sam was also someone Cas could relate to as freaks and abominations amongst their own kinds. Sam always had that same struggle, also with his own family. It goes a long way towards explaining why Sam was always so empathetic to Cas and Jack in a way that Dean couldn't be. All three kept conflicting with that black & white humans = good/other = bad mindset that sometimes creeps in with Dean. When Cas was Dean's "best friend" in the early days, he rationalized it by thinking of Cas as being "like" a human ("You used to be human, or at least like one.").

Yet it still remains true that Cas often found himself looking to Dean to teach him about humanity back when he didn't know enough about it to be inconspicuous amongst them. Dean gave him the crash course in both what humanity is willing to do for each other, but also its flaws and failings at the same time.

Perhaps the saddest scenes in the episode were actually Sam watching everyone poof in front of him. Sam has really been forced to watch a lot of death scenes this season all by himself (as with Rowena), but he looked the most broken by Eileen's. Cas is going to be hard on him, because I genuinely think Sam was far closer to him in the end. Sam was the one who actually was trying to reach out to Cas when Dean repeatedly kept him out of the loop. Sam being left out from the final words with Cas or even hearing first-hand about the deal with the Empty just furthers that tragedy. While Dean has been raging at everything in sight, Sam and Cas have both looked broken, sad and tired all season.

[yooleestruck]

in which lee rambles about how great writers are

I don’t really know what this is. I don’t know if now is the right time to do this, or a really bad time, or if it makes any sense, but I want to talk about it! I feel like a broken record saying ‘the writing matters most, the writing matters most’ but maybe I need to show what I mean by that? So, here is an attempt. 

I’m sorry not all of these are the same length and not everyone is here, because every time I see that someone is a writer I do try to follow but I don’t always know/remember! Also I am weird about this sort of thing and don’t want to tag people in a monster-long post, so I’m just going to link. I also don’t want to make this a producers vs writers thing, it’s not, it’s just, when I say I notice writer-stuff, an explanation of what, specifically, I mean. 

Writers have a style fingerprint. I’m sure someone with an actual creative writing or English background could describe it all academic-ly, but my ex-chemist ass is just going to call it a fingerprint. 

My first game in Lovestruck was Starship Promise - I love Firefly, I’m a bisexual disaster scientist by education, it fit. But I had been REALLY put off by GIL when it first came out (this was back when they released stories in parts? And the heroine, which I will get to) and though I’d glanced at AFK, I mistrusted it after GIL and Medusa, who was who I was interested in, wasn’t out yet. So I resisted a LONG time.  I finally picked up LS and SP and played it explicitly because a friend said, you need to give this another chance, for a list of specific reasons. 

And when Atlas’s route came out, I read it a stupid number of times. I must have re-read his season 1 & 2 at least eight times apiece (he is still my most read route, despite the fact I have not read his last season because I want to leave the story open-ended)  so when I read Neil Dresner’s route, I recognized the fingerprint. Not only that, when I was reading Jett and the episodes with the paint scene (YOU KNOW THE SCENE) came out, my breath caught with how lovely it was, a particular in-between moment and touch, and even though it wasn’t a phrase I had seen, the style of it, had me re-reading (because it was gorgeous) again and again from the log for like five minutes and I thought, “I bet Melissa wrote this” AND SHE DID. 

Physical touch! (& in-betweens)

Melissa-grey has a particular way of writing about physical touch in very emotional moments that is very real and grounded and ironically the effect is just magical. It creates these so skillful “in between” moments, those little things that aren’t dialogue and aren’t metaphor but SHOW you that this closed off person is cracking for their little ray of sunshine. They are SO subtle and so beautiful, like, the heroine noticing the scent of a pillow, or a softening of an aborted hand movement.  She sets up and executes these moments of physical touch as a conduit for emotional touch with characters who aren’t ready to admit he latter and it’s DELICIOUS. Those little in-betweens are what I live for in story - and it includes all the supporting cast moments, who swell up to make the world feel lived in, and balanced (I loathe love stories where no one else exists! That’s a recipe for disaster, people need networks) I noticed when she stopped writing, and because I missed it, I went and bought the entire Midnight Girl series, as well as Rated (I hope that is flattering and not creepy!) and that style of writing is so unique, that without KNOWING, I picked it up in four separate routes (noticed in Sev’s s1, too!) 

Pacing (& friggen heartache)

Another fingerprint! Ripping your heart out! Arthoure has had me in tears, MULTIPLE TIMES and I get very grouchy about it every time because I am the least sentimental and romantic person that I know (I once MOVED STATES to avoid an ‘I love you’ conversation. I once said ‘yikes’ in response to an ‘I love you’ and I once broke up with someone because I thought he was going to propose. I’m a bitch) but I think it’s because of pacing! I know that producers play a role in that, but that actually makes it more impressive, because making each bit of story feel like it fits precisely the amount of space it needs when you don’t really get a say in how much space that is has got to take a MASSIVE amount of effort. Every little hint, every emotional beat, every character tell, they drop at a consistent build so the emotional payoff is just brutal (in a good, cathartic way?) every time a route makes me cry I wait and see and YEAH ITS ALWAYS ARTHOURE. The sweep and sentiment of Remy’s season 2 is unparalleled. Across Time is gutwrenching, and I actually stopped reading Renzei at one point because I was so emotional over it I had to like, LEGIT TAKE A BREAK to recover. Pacing and heartache. I have to stop and wonder - is it because the routes themselves are so gut-punching? OR is it because she knows how to wring every last emotional drop out of whatever story framework is handed to her? Because, Ezekiel’s villain costume is a bit silly (there I said it, it is) I get the cobra helmet shape in theory but in practice, ooof, but POINT BEING despite being skeptical I’d be able to take his story seriously as a result, I was hiccuping from crying so much (and I am gosh darn adult, in my thirties, with three degrees and a high-stress job at pretty major company. I DON’T CRY EASY)

 Dialogue (& heroines!)

Xekstrin is the gosh damn master of dialogue. Clever, witty banter that doesn’t go where you expect it to, meandering but natural topic changes that are delightful to follow and feel real, and--special shoutout for this, okay--the navigation of viscerally important topics like consent, kink, self-worth, power in relationships, self-sacrifice, and apologies in a way that is not stilted or forced at all (listen, I know Viv & Lyris are the most recent and they are amazing but I remember this first hit me when I was reading Astraeus, and I spent half the route with my jaw on the floor going, oh shit,  oh shit. The communication! The navigation of the complexity of emotion going on, chef’s kiss! Casual isn’t the right word, but, natural, maybe?). I don’t actually take that many screenshots of the app--it’s usually single lines that get me--but when I do, they are almost always conversations from one of her routes, because they’re so damn good, and often so unexpected, and yet always make such perfect sense for the characters involved. Dialogue is SO HARD OKAY. Actually try and transcribe a conversation sometime, it’s nuts how people talk vs how most people write people talking. Xekstrin also writes some of my absolute favorite MCs, and going back to fingerprints, I was reading Lyris s1 and right there in the first tavern scene, as we were following along with the heroine’s thoughts I went, ah, yes, I know who you belong to and I am SO EXCITED. Being able to give the heroine unique thoughts and quirks, to make her genuinely relatable, without overriding the necessary template of the genre dictates, is a skill all of its own. But I love her MCs! There is a beautiful balance of compassion, competence, and dash of bratty, wild, fun mischief. I can actually cheer for them. I can actually get behind them. I WANT the love interest to flop at their feet for who they are, not just because the story says so. And that comes from how the heroine’s thoughts are written, from her phrasing in conversations, how she sees situations, not just a producer saying ‘she is a strong lead who is self conscious about her ears and she’s nervous in the council meeting’ or whatever. I AM REALLY STRUGGLING to articulate this if you can’t tell from how long I have been blathering. Maybe this - the heroine is the same across every route, presumably, yes? Everyone has the same base. I NEVER question, when xekstrin is writing, why the love interest falls in love with her. Side note - I had hard written off GIL after a bad experience with the standalone app. I only read Aurora BECAUSE I learned she wrote it, and I would have SO MISSED OUT otherwise.

A complete aside in which Lee grumbles about heroines and not writers!

(Complete side vent: Often, the heroine is, if not a blank slate, a sort of collection of assigned traits, and she often remains so unless the story demands she become otherwise. Which is fine! I don’t personally, but I know a lot of folks self-insert, and so erring towards that makes sense. Almost all the otome I’ve played were originally written for a Japanese audience. When I played original Voltage games, starting back in 2014, I always had to remind myself - different culture, different culture, different culture, and it was not possible for me to relate to most of the heroines. I still enjoyed the stories, but I rarely cheered for the heroine’s romance, especially in some of the slice of life stories. I understood her, but I rarely wanted her to get with the love interest, I wanted her success to come in other ways! Another game company, Cybird, tried to ‘Americanize’ their heroine to IMO disastrous effect - it was such a stereotype, and made no sense since they didn’t also Americanize the context, so she come across as, frankly, ridiculous. And frankly, Voltage’s GIL heroine REEKED OF THAT. When they first posted her on social media I was legitimately annoyed about it, like could you lean into this more? I think not. So when I talk about being able to relate to and cheer for the heroine, it’s a big deal, because my blatant mistrust of Voltage and their ability to craft a heroine I could tolerate was a BIG factor in how long it took me to give Lovestruck a try. I was willing to tolerate it in translated stories, I was so skeptical of -en only ones.) 

Metaphors (& balance)

literacouture writes beautiful metaphors for connection between humans! I’m really bad at keeping track of who writes what, but I purposefully kept an eye out on tumblr after reading Cal’s route, because there were some lines that were pure poetry, and I wanted to keep an eye out for more. It is HARD to spin metaphors prettily without delving into trite, painful, purple prose cringe territory, and it’s navigated beautifully in Cal’s route. There’s a balance between those spin-out moments and things that are tangible and anchoring and make it feel authentic and unique to the two characters involved, instead of just ‘I am trying to make this sound romantic and this is a romantic phrase so here it is’. That balance is really necessary. You NEED the mundane alongside the metaphor or it doesn’t feel authentic. Also. Trying really hard to write this without throwing any authors or producers under the bus, but...listen. I love Sin with Me. But the world logic (or LACK THEREOF) drives me up a wall. I don’t read Cal because of his character traits or sprite or (sigh) his story. I read him because literacouture writes a beautiful romance.

 So anyway...

There are more! When I am less tired and don’t have meetings, I will try and write them up (Please know there are so many routes I love, and so many things I do recognize across chapters! I don’t even HAVE words for what theivorytowercrumbles accomplished with Helena’s story not to mention how much I adore Cyprin,  SummerLightning’s handling of Onyx’s past relationship was so deftly done when it could have so quickly become ‘milk abuse for plot’ and joidecombat gave Sev a fresh, mischievous energy and navigated the dream/reality line with SUCH skill, and so on and so on.)

I’ve written a lot of reviews. And I try to give nods where I feel they’re due - sometimes, it really is obvious that the whole team’s work came together to makes something great, the world, the plot, the arc, the art, the words, and the music all fit into place in a  well-crafted tour de force. And sometimes one piece or another is lacking, and I’ll admit I’ve left some...less than kind reviews to that end (I try and soften it, because I know there are humans on the other side of everything, but I’ve been harsh more than once with my opinions).  I’ve read routes with plots that made me want to tear my hair out because I DO value consistency and logic to a degree, even if I’m going to accept at face value that, say, space travel is a thing or demons turn to sand when stabbed. 

In the end, these are romance stories. So I will let a lot slide when it comes to plot. What sells a story are the words - not the outline.

And if Voltage doesn’t believe that - just remember that Hamlet existed long, long before Shakespeare wrote it. His was the version that lasted, because the people liked it best. The plot, the world, the characters, they all existed a hundred times over. Even just look at fan translations of manga. Why do people keep translating, even if someone else has? Because the words someone else picked don’t do the story justice. 

I don’t know. I’m talking in circles because I don’t know my own thesis! 

Maybe it’s just - the worlds these stories in are nice. But when I say I’m a fan of something, the premise is like. 10%. The rest is the writing.