#asoue spoilers

[addendumbeekeeper]

Unrelated to anything, but I think what was in the Sugar Bowl ultimately doesn’t matter. Maybe it mattered once, but now it’s just a symbol for people to continue fighting each other. What was in the Sugar Bowl isn’t important, what’s important is the never ending war that happened over it. By not telling the readers what is in the Sugar Bowl, the entire point of the story becomes clear, it never mattered, because nothing is as important as the lives lost in the fight over it. The point is to show how people fight, and refuse to stop, believing they are right above all else, both sides of the Schism are guilty of this.

[violetbaudelaire15]

She would have loved the Barbie movie

[zebracakesarecopingmechanisms]

Assigning each ASOUE book a TMA entity (+why)

*Also taking the Netflix show’s portrayal/atmosphere into account.

The Bad Beginning: Web 🕸️

The Baudelaires are beginning to realize that things have been going on behind the scenes that they can’t understand; they are almost completely trapped in Olaf’s scheme til Klaus finds a loophole.

The Reptile Room: Hunt 🦷

The Incredibly Deadly Viper is initially percieved as a threat, if short-lived, and the Baudelaires are surrounded by dangerous creatures. Simultaneously, this is the book in which they truly realize Olaf is determined to keep chasing them.

The Wide Window: Lonely ☁️

Imagery of a large, empty house in a grey, foggy lake setting combined with the theme of grief. They are also without their guardian for a while after she faked suicide and was temporarily presumed dead.

The Miserable Mill: Dark 🌑

The Baudelaires do not know what happened with their parents here; information is being hidden from them. Klaus’ vision is literally impaired at several points in the story due to his glasses being damaged, in addition to the mandatory nightly “lights out” immediately after dinner.

The Austere Academy: Slaughter🔪

Vice Principal Nero’s fixation on the violin provides frenzied music, a common theme of the slaughter. The children are collectively cruel to the Baudelaires via Carmelita’s leadership. They demonstrate moblike behavior at the pep rallies.

The Ersatz Elevator: Spiral 🌀

The penthouse has hundreds of rooms and corridors in which one can easily be lost; there are repeating patterns on walls and furniture as well as the children’s clothing. Proportions seem exaggerated, ie the scale of the house, the limo, Esmé’s hat and fur coat, etc. The elevator is a false door that acts as a deception. Esmé is the first character to convincingly lie to the Baudelaires, and the contradictory rules of the In/Out system are nonsensical and confusing. And, of course, there is literally a Red Herring at the auction.

The Vile Village: Buried ⚰️

The Baudelaires are, in a literal sense, in a dry and dusty desert village full of sand. In addition to this, Duncan and Isadora are trapped together in the cramped, dark space of the fountain for the bulk of the story. In a more figurative sense, the Baudelaires are also buried under extensive suffocating and restrictive laws.

The Hostile Hospital: Eye 👁️

Heimlich Hospital contained files of information on nearly every conceivable subject; a massive gathering of knowledge by a man who ironically has poor vision. Olaf keeps a constant watch through the security cameras, and when Klaus is being forced to operate on his sister, an entire theater is seeing him.

The Carnivorous Carnival: Flesh 🥩

While the “carnival freaks” are of course not actually examples of body horror and are just people with deformities, they are still viewed as such by audiences within the narrative. Additionally, Madame Lulu is literally eaten alive by lions.

The Slippery Slope: Vast 🌊

In this case, the Vast mainly refers to the sky and heights, though the ocean is incorporated at the very end leading into the Grim Grotto. Falling off the mountain is a constant background fear; Sunny’s cage is thrown off the edge, and we see Kit do her little falling-and-flying trick with the dragonfly wings.

The Grim Grotto: Corruption 🪰

I was tempted to put the Vast here, but honestly the ocean itself was more of a unusual setting than a legitimate source of fear. The major conflict of the story was the infection/contamination of the Medusoid Mycelium.

The Penultimate Peril: Stranger 🎭

The Baudelaires do not know whether they anyone are speaking with is trustworthy, especially Ernest vs. Dewey.

The End: Extinction 🏭

The island is partially covered in garbage and debris, and everyone there is poisoned by the Medusoid Mycelium and will presumably be wiped out.

*Honorable mentions to the Desolation (fire, suffering) the Lonely (very few believe or help) and the Hunt (Count Olaf’s constant pursuit) as overtones of the entire series.

[heliiaun]

the asoue hyperfix came out of no where. quigley!

[acacia-may]

Enough [A Frank Denouement and Kit Snicket Friendship Ficlet]

A ficlet centric on one of my favorite ASOUE underrated friendships: Frank Denouement and Kit Snicket for Woevember 2023 hosted by @asouefanworkevent Day 4: Hotel Denouement. Dewey x Kit is also mentioned. Thank you for reading!

(Warnings: Sparring. Some mild spoilers)

“Hey. Hey, not the face,” Frank protested as he dodged one of Kit’s punches. Another soon followed. “If you give me a black eye again, I won’t be able to pretend I’m Ernest.” 

“That was an accident,” she insisted as he tried and failed to catch her in a hold. “And why do you do that again?” 

Her movements were so quick and agile, he could barely keep up with them—not to mention frustratingly unpredictable even after how many times they had sparred together. He supposed he had an excuse. Since he had been put on “hotel duty,” his sparring skills were severely lacking especially compared to Kit who spent most of her time in the field, but still he had thought that with practice he would’ve improved at least somewhat. He huffed, struggling to catch his breath as he quickly weaved in and out of her attacks. “Listen, when you have a boring desk job like me, you have to find ways to keep life interesting.”

“It just confuses everyone,” she argued as she turned, leaving her right side open. When he raised his arm, however, she effortlessly swerved away from his hand, completely unphased and he was back on the defensive. “If your point was to be deceptive, I could understand, but you just want to mess with everyone—why?” 

“What do you care?” he huffed as he managed to get a kick in causing her to stumble. He gripped her arms holding her in place. “You can tell us apart.” She could, of course, frustratingly enough so he never got to have any fun with tricking her that he was either of his brothers. “So I don’t know why it would matter to—Ow!” 

Frank winced as Kit elbowed him, and within moments she had him pinned to the ground. Pathetic, he thought with a slight shake of his head as he struggled to wriggle free. She was kind enough to practice with him whenever she was around which was getting more and more frequent. That gave him an idea. 

“Before you punch me, picture me as someone you love—shouldn’t be too hard,” he teased with a wink and a grin. Kit lowered her hand and loosened her hold on him. The glare she gave him as she got up from the ground made Frank shiver.  

“Listen, I didn’t mean anything by it. I was just teasing…” he insisted, but Kit huffed, leaning against the wall with her back to him. 

Even though Frank was sure she probably didn’t want him to, he joined her. The roof of the hotel was their favourite sparring place, and probably Ernest’s as well as he insisted it was the least disruptive to the guests. It was one of Frank’s favourite places in general since it had the most beautiful view of the city—especially at night when all of the buildings were illuminated by dim lights and the night sky was filled with stars.

After a long, heavy silence, Kit half-asked, half-stated, “So you know…?”  

Frank’s brow furrowed. “About you and my brother? Yeah.” 

“I had thought that since his entire existence is a secret, he’d be better at keeping one,” she teased with a twitch of a smile in the corners of her mouth. 

“When he’s this happy? Absolutely not,” chuckled Frank. “You are all he ever talks about besides books and the Dewey Decimal System. I guess I just figured that since you were hanging around here a lot more that you two were in some kind of relationship now…” Frank stopped. “Are you in some kind of relationship?”  

Kit frowned. “I don’t see how that’s any of your business.” 

“Kit, my brother adores you. He would do anything for you—even die for you or follow you into hell if you asked. That level of devotion knows no bounds. I have no doubt that you are the person my brother loves the most in the world, and he is the person I love the most so I…”

“You’re worried about him,” she finished with a sigh. “And you should be.” 

“I wouldn’t say…” 

“You know about me and Olaf…?” she interrupted again, and Frank tilted his head. 

“Well, yeah. Everybody knows about that.” 

“Then you know I’m no good for your brother and that he deserves someone so much better.” 

“Maybe that’s true,” Frank conceded. “But he doesn’t want anyone else.” Frank sighed. “Look, we’ve all done things that we’re not proud of—I know I have so I’m in no position to judge you or anybody else. The way I see it, there are very few genuinely good people in this world, but Dewey is one of them and he deserves to be happy. And Kit..." he paused—meeting her eyes. "You have made my brother happier than I have ever seen him and as far as I’m concerned that makes you good enough.” 

[sulasnsleep]

“Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don’t always like.”

— Lemony Snickett, A Series of Unfortunate Events #10: The Slippery Slope

[yourfavisabaudelaireguardian]

The Munsters are Baudelaire guardians 🖤

The Munsters are the New Baudelaire Guardians!

[disco-tea]

GUYS I THOUGHT BEATRICE WAS REAL

[dellafloosh]

God DAMN IT

So my boyfriend is reading A Series of Unfortunate Events and is on The Grim Grotto

He went to look up if the Beatrice dedications were haikus and the first result spoiled that Beatrice was the Baudelaires’ mother

Why is a spoiler for the last word of the last chapter of the last book the first result

[toolazytodecide]

"There are people who say that criminal behavior is the destiny of children from a broken home " she said, through her tears. "Dont make this your destiny, Bauldaires."

Justice Straus, you have officially lost every shred of respect I ever had for you.

[yours-the-author]

Day 2, actually posted on the second day of Curtisson Week! Yay! I'm back in the game! ...Not that I ever really left, but you know what I mean.

Today's prompt is Paperwork! ...I'll be honest, this isn't my best one, but! I hope you get a little bit of enjoyment out of it.

[i-lived-bitch-beatdown]

[violetbaudelaire15]

They literally mean everything to me.

[fionacle]

fanfic where when the asoue henchmen disappear theyre ok cuz you take them into your house and you become besties 👍

[your-fave-is-just-a-lil-guy]

As per your totally-not-a-request, hook-handed man is just a lil guy

Fernald from A Series Of Unfortunate Events is just a little guy!

[acacia-may]

THE TIME HAS COME TO TALK ABOUT JACQUES SNICKET AND OLIVIA CALIBAN, MY FRIENDS!

(Spoilers for ASOUE Netflix ahead and some book spoilers as well)

So I am absolutely loving these asks about [Netflix] Jacques and Olivia (Thank you so much, friends! 💖), but I feel bad for my anon-friends because I am sensing a sort of hesitant, nervous, making-sure-we-all-know-this-is-for-NETFLIX-Jacques x Olivia-so-this-ask-is-justified kind of energy which I can completely understand given the circumstances, however, I am the absolute last person who would ever, ever, a whole page of 'ever's judge anybody about this ship in particular. 😅 (Or maybe I'm off base here, and my anon-friends just really, really don't like the idea of Book Jacques x Book Olivia and want to be sure to differentiate? Which is a fair point too!)

Regardless, I feel it is time to come to come clean with you all about me, Jacques Snicket, and Olivia Caliban...

Jacques x Olivia was my ASOUE crackship before the Netflix series was released!

Maybe it was the drama™️ of it all? (A/N: Gotta love that sweet, sweet angst) Or this feeling I got while reading The Carnivorous Carnival that they had history maybe as good friends, maybe as something more, who knows? (A/N: It's the vibes) Maybe I took one (1) specific line from Olivia's whole 'confession' sequence in TCC, ran with it to the hinterlands of my mind and created an angsty betrayal subplot that had no business existing in the first place? (A/N: I did. I did do this. Pretty sure it was L.S.'s intention, right? Just kidding…) Whatever the reason (A/N: those are all the reasons, literally in the preceding sentences), I crack-shipped this for years prior to Netflix, and I will present the following texts from an exchange with my sister "Jackalope" (A/N: her nickname is a meme-y reference to ASOUE actually) as evidence that I was on board for this ship all the way back in the dark ages of February of 2018 when the trailer for Season 2 dropped...

(A/N: My sisters and I took these screenshots at the time & saved them as proof of this phenomenon so I was able to find them more easily that you might think 😅)

And well, my friends, (as I'm sure we all know), I am happy to say he did so much more than just sit in that car with her...

(Image from Shipping Wiki which I didn't know was a thing until just now! Glad that Jacques x Olivia is included there 💕 Image brightened up/edited by me)

After both of my sisters teased me mercilessly about even entertaining the possibility of Jacques and Olivia as a crackship, I cannot express to you my utter joy and delight in watching their Netflix counterparts fall deeply in love and be given this incredible romance storyline! I was so blessed and so vindicated, and I literally screamed when the kiss happened. Meanwhile, my sisters were watching in total shock like "I can't believe you actually predicted this!" 😂 We literally had to pause the episode after the kiss because everyone in the room just needed a moment to collect themselves (myself included).

All of this said, I promise I really do see Netflix Jacques x Netflix Olivia as a completely separate relationship (which I do actually ship to the highest, OTP levels). I am happy to report, however, that though Book Jacques and Book Olivia will always be a total crackship, my sisters did eventually concede it to me and never teased me about it again. And that is just how the story goes, folks. 😁

[A/N: Other fun facts about me, my ASOUE Book Series OTP is Dewey/Kit so as you can imagine, the Netflix series was a very, very good time for me overall, but that is, perhaps, a story for another time...]

TL;DR: I am the real Madame Lulu, and my inbox is always open to discuss any and all iterations of the Jacques Snicket x Olivia Caliban ship no explanation or specifications needed. (A/N: Of course, if you'd like to specify, that is welcomed and up to you. Just letting you all know this ship will never need to be defended or justified to me. We're all friends here 💖). Cheers, associates! 😁