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nctrsn20 · 3 years ago

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THE ELINOVAS' ANGELS

ELINOVAS' ANGELS [inspired by VICTORIA SECRET ANGELS] are a group of girls who are known for empowering women and they are the girls of NCT.

Originally, it was a brand group for supermodels but the daughter of the founders' company bought the name for various brandings.

Introducing 2/3 of ELINOVAS' ANGELS who are WAYV's SOULMATES. Everyone in ELINOVAS' ANGELS have strong bonds with each other but these girls are known for having each others' back.

BIRTH NAME ― Nicole Elly Nelson

NICKNAME ― Retired Assassin, Ex-Hitman

STAGE NAME ― -

OCCUPATION ― Bodyguard

IMPORTANT RELATIVE(S)/SIBLING(S) ―

CURRENT LOCATION & DESTINATION ― FRANCE ⤍ KOREA

used to be a bodyguard for WAYV but now she is officially a bodyguard for Elinovas Sisters

a focused, independent and guarded individual (which the girls would always ask her to relax but she won't listen to them)

there's a reason why she is mostly guarded, and that's because it's because of her tragic childhood - she had an older sister but she was shoot by the head from protecting her younger sister, which is herself

since then she is always on a look-out due to her work too

started to use her trauma as work and that's how she became a bodyguard

which leads to meeting Kun and the others (they were slightly stubborn and mean to her at first but thanks to Kun, they kind of slowly began to accept her)

Kun is everything to her, it was as if she depended Kun on her closed-off emotions, that he had to sit down with WAYV at first to find solutions for her and then sat down with her (the boys understood the assignment)

used to be detached but as she begins her journey with WAYV, she kind of learn from the boys' on how to involve herself with others (in a good way), helping the others with the knowledge she has

she even took a bullet for Kun and that's how she realized she is in love with him and it was so obvious (she was even more shook that Kun confessed to her and yeah, let's just say they were in their own world)

meeting the Elinovas Sisters has made her more empathetic and with just a week of spending time with each other, they treated her as a sister

and thanks to the Elinovas Sisters as they introduced her to the other Elinovas Angels girls, she realized that DNA doesn't make a family

BIRTH NAME ― Alyona Alice Elinova

NICKNAME ― Party Queen, Ms Badass

STAGE NAME ― Alice Elinova

OCCUPATION ― (Main) Face of ELINOVAS Co, Model

IMPORTANT RELATIVE(S)/SIBLING(S) ― Yelena Olivia Elinova (Oldest), Aurelia Rose Elinova (Youngest), Leah Antonella Ivanova (Cousin)

CURRENT LOCATION & DESTINATION ― FRANCE ⤍ KOREA

5/7 original super-model of ELINOVAS ANGELS

face of ELINOVAS Co.

just like the youngest, she is loved by many but also hated too

out of the 3 sisters plus her cousin, she is WELL-known to break the rules or regulations (for example, when she goes parties or events in the club as a representative of the company, she isn't suppose to drink 2 shots but she didn't care at all)

most clubs would invite her as a guest

known for handling her alcohol well

the day where she was drugged, is the day when she met Ten (yes, she was drugged by one of Ten's enemies and luckily he was there)

it was really a mess that day but she remembered being in one of the rooms in Ten's club and no one is in the room, so she decided to make a exit since she was all fine but as soon as she took a turn, she was met by Ten and she swore she could see Ten's eyes widened twice (the atmosphere was weird as well as what she felt, and so she decided to walk passed him - not knowing that he was the one who saved her)

fast forward to a few months with him trying to get close to her and soon turns into a weird tension, and one fine night became a night where both her and Ten ended up in one of Taeyong's hotel (yes, they slept together as in SmEXy)

and their relationship kind of grew from there - he was clingy, sweet, kind of funny and adventurous (she didn't know what they were at that point, friends don't make out with each other unless they were fwb but she knew they were more than that since they told each other regarding their personal lives)

when she thought that she had something special with him, it all came crashing down when she saw him with a girl from a rival group of Elinovas Angels being all close and personal (what's worse she had to see them make-out and shit, poor Alyona)

damn homegirl went pissed that she had to bail out of the event and she NEVER exits out of events early (let's just say she personally drove herself to the Elinovas Angels mansion and cried her hearts out, also to see Lucas and that's when she finds out about another side of Ten according to Lucas)

definitely a red-flag to her from what Lucas said (homeboy said Ten has different girls every week but according to Lucas and the other WAYV members, he actually talked about Alyona to them, saying positive stuff about her which Ten had never done before which was talking about the girls he hangout with)

every time she tries to avoid Ten, she keeps on seeing him as if they were fated to be together and one day they had a one to one talk which made Ten chase after her, realizing that he loves her and weirdly, she can't seem to stay away from him too

BIRTH NAME ― Chua Nina Liling

NICKNAME ― Lingling

STAGE NAME ― Chua Liling

OCCUPATION ― (Main) Model & Ambassador of CHUA CO.

IMPORTANT RELATIVE(S)/SIBLING(S) ―

CURRENT LOCATION & DESTINATION ― FRANCE ⤍ KOREA

6/7 original supermodel of ELINOVAS ANGELS

known for having an endearing face but a sexy body

out of the girls, she is the most calm person (no wonder she gets along so well with Winwin)

is quiet too but have to force herself to be sociable when in parties or events

knows about NCT since her parents are in business terms with both Taeyong and Yelena

but isn't aware that her high-school friend is a member of NCT (he didn't think that that was the same Dong Sicheng she knew during high school)

until she literally saw him from a corner while talking to an important guest (she is lucky that she can multitask - lowkey eyeing onto someone while conversing)

somehow her eyes made the other party which is Winwin noticed and hence they made eye contact

girl is shook

it was her that approach him, she didn't waste no time to go to the other side of the room (they exchanged words and somehow she got his number)

wasn't aware that in his eyes that she is talkative but in her eyes, he changed (he became more manly)

isn't surprised that he lives in Korea but she is more surprised that he is a member of NCT after seeing Taeyong basically hugging Winwin like a koala

they became more closer with Winwin inviting her to hang-out with the other NCT members (at the same time he introduced her to Wayv members)

at first, she isn't fond of the members but she is very fond of some of the members' girlfriends (she works for Elinovas' Co. as a model although she has her own family business)

sticks with Winwin in events where the whole NCT is there

Winwin doesn't know this but she likes him lowkey

BIRTH NAME ― Emilia Crystal Carter

NICKNAME ― Emi, Mimi

STAGE NAME ― Crystal Carter

OCCUPATION ― Model

IMPORTANT RELATIVE(S)/SIBLING(S) ― Jackson Wang (Got7)

CURRENT LOCATION & DESTINATION ― FRANCE ⤍ KOREA

the last original supermodel of ELINOVAS ANGELS

known for being Jackson Wang's best friend, partner in crime and crazy cousin

also known for having a rbf (resting bitch face) during runways

people thought that she is his sister but no, they are just cousins who would always invited to family events

at first she wasn't close with Jackson but because both has seen each other faces, he thought might as well they became friends and someone close since they are like a family

two family gatherings already made them became close friends

she would always be invited in the Wang Company parties

now let's fast forward on how she rescues Lucas one time in a club

there is a reason why she kind of save him - that's because she knows who is Lucas thanks to Jackson

Lucas was actually invited to one of the events and she noticed him thanks to Jackson because he kept on rambling about this certain individual saying that she should be friends with him and their energy match bla bla bla (she honestly didn't listen to him fully but what she remembers that this person is tall, he is even taller than her)

so yeah she saved him (although she didn't know any context but she heard the girl saying Lucas is a liar and saying he didn't have a girlfriend) by saying she is Lucas girlfriend

only the Elinovas Angels knows this but she is a good actor - she knows how to act, for example if she is extremely angry or extremely sad - bro she didn't even cry, she just covers it with a smile (only god knows how emotional she is)

she tends to hide her true feelings

and that incident made both of them close and she had to tell Lucas that she is Jackson's crazy cousin that everyone talks/knows about

when she says she knows Lucas, she knows about Lucas's work and what he does during tasks that was given by his own bosses

she was surprised that Lucas is actually a gentleman although he flirts a lot, yet he is respectful to her

he didn't even touch her or anything even when he accidentally made skin contact, he would jump like afar in surprise (he is a very funny guy)

maybe that's why she likes him more now

BIRTH NAME ― Daniella Violette Allen

NICKNAME ― Dany, Ella, Vio

STAGE NAME ― Violet

OCCUPATION ― Singer-Performer

IMPORTANT RELATIVE(S)/SIBLING(S) ― Chani (SF9)

CURRENT LOCATION & DESTINATION ― LAS VEGAS ⤍ KOREA

a talented underground singer

a shy individual but once you get to know her, she is a confident type of girl that you actually forget how she is when you first meet her

her fans wanted her to be more famous but tbh she prefers to perform underground instead of performing in an enclosed area

she likes to perform outdoors no matter how freezing it could be

and she has a reason why she stayed underground and that is because of her parents and her brother (she is adopted and her parents along with her brothers are involved in the mafia business)

though she wanted to stay out of it, her parents would always ask her to perform for their friends' events hence she just went along with their request (and she gets paid thrice as the ones she perform outside, who wouldn't say 'yes')

her brother, Chani, is also a member of SF9 who is also friends with NCT (she didn't know much but she heard they had work together)

is very close with her brother although she is adopted (he kind of tells her everything, what had happened both bad and good and she would tell him any interesting events that had happened between her and her fans)

by now she knows what is going on in the mafia world although she didn't want to get involve (she thought it's better to know what is going on around her to avoid incidents)

somehow she always ends up being Chani's plus one in social events (compared to both of them, she is more sociable than Chani)

and somehow and weirdly she is introduced to Kun thanks to Chani and next few events she attended with Chani, she became close with Kun

and the next few days she has a performance at an underground alley and surprisingly from far she saw someone kind of looking suspicious (she almost wanted to call security but she saw a glimpse of the individual face)

she saw everything from him being all lowkey and seeing a few men somehow looking for someone that this was the moment to call her security to secure her fans who were chilling while enjoying her performing

she can't help but to glance at his area not knowing she actually made eye contact with him (she is a professional that she just smiled it off although on the inside she is wondering who on earth would a NCT member be outside in this timing?)

after the performance ended, she didn't think twice to go after him and she saw a glimpse of white stuff on his packet already knowing what he was doing (she surprised herself by telling him what she knows about the men she saw, telling him that those guys are notorious for cheating money)

and that's how they became strangers to friends then to close friends (which Xiaojun would actually accompany her whenever she has performance underground or sketchy places)

until one day Xiaojun accidentally confessed to her as they sat down drinking after a performance (she confessed coolly too and she kissed him on the lips first, that was the day they started dating and they started to make the relationship official)

a very lowkey relationship - that's because she didn't want to cause trouble for Xiaojun and he didn't want cause trouble to her too since he is in a very well-known mafia group

BIRTH NAME ― Allison Jamie Taylor

NICKNAME ― Ally, Jamy

STAGE NAME ― -

OCCUPATION ― Artist

IMPORTANT RELATIVE(S)/SIBLING(S) ― Adriana Marie Taylor (Oldest)

CURRENT LOCATION & DESTINATION ― KOREA

unlike her older sister who is described as boring and work-oriented, she is more to being a curious and carefree individual

she is friendly too but unfortunately, her face didn't allow her to be friendly (she has a rbf)

people are scared of her so she decided to just do her own things which is painting

unlike her sister who in more involve in business terms, she is more casual in terms of her art business

has her own art studio

she often does art exhibition

other artists calls her the 'exhibit angel' because first she does regular exhibition (like thrice a month) and lastly, she would divide the amount she receive by selling her works then to donate it to the ones in need

sometimes, people would come to her art studio for her to paint a piece of them but they end up buying the ones that were in the studio

which of course she allows but she had kept one particular portrait secure and framed on the wall

many people question her what is the drawing about and she could only laugh and smile before gazing into the painting, telling them it was someone who she never fails to remember

the only person who she told about that particular painting is of course her older sister (that's because the older one visited the younger in the middle of the night since she missed the family dinner to only find her being covered by multiple colors on her hands, seeing she was painting a particular painting)

she told her older sister that it was someone from high school, she actually considered him as her first love although she never confessed to him and sadly he left out of nowhere - although he was really shy at that time, in the long run when they were close, he was funny, nice and kind.

she remembered feeling gloomy for a whole month whenever she is in school, seeing the empty chair beside her but she get used to it throughout the following years in high school

back to present, one day she decided to accompany her parents' who are old and they wanted to go to this specific workshop and she just went along to accompany them

she didn't even bother to listen to what her parents talking or who they are talking to as soon

as they enter the workshop, she is fascinated with different kind of tools on the wall

the place was very bright and colorful although she figured out all of them were different car parts (that's when she realized that she is in a car workshop, but somehow, this was somehow a different type of workshop)

until she met the eye-contact of the owner of the workshop, she didn't even hesitate to frown deeply while pointing fingers calling his name (she instantly recognize him, he never change at all, he is the only boy she knew who looks like Prince Eric hence that nickname who she usually call him is strictly his)

the boy who she missed is standing just a few steps away from her, pointing his fingers to her too

there was too much to talk about that she gave him her number when he ask her questions, Hendery gave her his number too

maybe because it was all a sudden when they wanted to start talking, her parents had already called her out as they wanted to leave after making a few purchases

she couldn't help but gave him a look where she didn't want to leave but he ensured her that he will call her right after he ended his shift

she gets to know that Hendery is working for NCT, a member of Wayv and he owns the car workshop, he had to leave high school as he had to move to China because of NCT related problems

she couldn't help but miss him, causing her to slowly fall for him

BIRTH NAME ― Leah Antonella Ivanova

NICKNAME ― Lia, Nella

STAGE NAME ― -

OCCUPATION ― (Main) Social Work Degree Student, Wardrobe Stylist (Theatre)

IMPORTANT RELATIVE(S)/SIBLING(S) ― Yelena Olivia Elinova, Alyona Alice Elinova, Aurelia Rose Elinova

CURRENT LOCATION & DESTINATION ― FRANCE ⤍ KOREA

known for being the tsundere in the Elinovas family and Ivanova family

very very very close with the Elinovas Sisters (she is actually consider a sister rather than a cousin to Yelena, Alyona and Aurelia)

she is the only one who isn't well-known compared to her cousins

prefers to be lowkey

although her family is rich, she decided to work her own which is a wardrobe stylist located near her university (currently)

but she works for Yelena too (surprisingly she is good at styling the models so Yelena only invited her only for overseas runways)

is an introvert at first but as you get to know her, she is more than that

a competitive smart-ass in terms of studies

really smart

isn't friendly in class but is helpful when someone genuinely needs her help in terms of studies

known to score high marks consecutively in her class

until a boy named Yangyang came into her class and he destroyed her rankings (she hates his name as soon as he introduced himself as a new classmate and she even hates him more when he beats her by one mark)

and this would happen for the following months till somehow they openly hate each other, and the class would just let them fought since they were the smartest (they are in their own world where their classmates didn't even have any words to insult them)

one particular day which she somehow was pissed at Yangyang for no reason and she had said words which she didn't meant but Yangyang didn't care at all (and she felt bad the end of the day so she decided to follow him and she didn't even know how she ended up driving while chasing after Yangyang who was running)

she decided to just get him onto her own car and he didn't even waste no time to argue (as she was driving, let's just say she is lucky that she is a very good driver and she knows how to avoid more damage to both of them since gunshots were being fired)

kind of figured out he is working for NCT not knowing he was actually a member

fast forward to college where they attended the same college but different courses, kind of awkward at first but they never fail to say 'hi' when they see each other' in the hallways

somehow thanks to that incident, they got each other's phone number thanks to Kun that day when she was being asked by Taeyong and Kun

they were considered as friends by now (but to Yangyang, she was more than a friend to him)

until one day a few people came in to her house on bright morning of Monday where she is just about to go to school

she couldn't remember what happened but she was knocked out good on the head, and she was awakened

the first thing she sees is Yangyang basically sleeping at the side of an unknown bed

[ MASTERLIST ]

[ N-WAYV MOODBOARDS ]

[ N-127 MOODBOARDS ] - [ 127'S SOULMATES ]

[ N-DREAM MOODBOARDS ] - [ N-DREAM’S SOULMATES ]

#wayv scenarios #wayv imagines #wayv mafia #wayv mafia au #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct mafia #nct mafia au #wayv

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nerianasims · 4 years ago

Text

Billboard #1s 1987

Under the cut.

"Shake You Down" -- Gregory Abbot -- January 17, 1987

The only reason I've heard this song before is because of Todd in the Shadows' worst hit songs of 1987 video. I do not entirely agree with his list, but this one definitely belongs on it. I don't think the song's writer knew what "shake down" actually means. This is supposed to be a love song about how the narrator is missing the woman he's staring at (um) and wants her back so he can "shake you down." It sounds creepy, and yet the music is so painfully bland it can't even rise to that. It's no surprise it hasn't gotten radio play since it was a hit. That it was a hit in the first place is mystifying.

"At This Moment" -- Billy Vera and the Beaters -- January 24, 1987

A rather good blue-eyed soul song. The narrator is singing to a woman who just told him she's in love with someone else. It sounds like she's acting scared, and he's upset by that as well as by her leaving him, because "I'd never, never hurt you." And he'd give up twenty years of his life if she'd stay. There are some massive blues horns, Billy Vera sings it well, and it's cathartically sad. The song became a hit years after it was first released because it was on Family Ties. Billy Vera keeps on chugging, and he's also a music historian. He won a Grammy for "best album notes" in 2013 for a Ray Charles boxed set. I had no idea that was an award category.

"Open Your Heart" -- Madonna -- February 7, 1987

Watch out. When Madonna says "I've had to work much harder than this/ For something I want, don't try to resist me," it's absolutely believable. She worked incredibly hard to get where she was. I guess the song is stalkery when looked at from a certain angle, but that is not the angle I choose. I hear it as I did as a teenager -- as something aspirational, because I got huge and powerful crushes on guys (mostly friends) and then did absolutely nothing about it, both because I had no idea what to do and because I didn't actually want a boyfriend yet. (That changed in college.) Musically and lyrically, the song is Motown mixed with disco and updated, as most of the True Blue album is. It's a lot of fun.

"Livin on a Prayer" -- Bon Jovi -- February 14, 1987

I wonder what I'd feel about this song if it hadn't been overplayed for years and years. I don't think it was/is played more than "You Give Love a Bad Name," but I have never been sick of "You Give Love a Bad Name." This one... meh. I don't want to run screaming from it, even after hearing it a zillion times, so that's something. It's about a working class couple who's having serious money troubles. It's just a snapshot of this difficult time in their life, and how they're holding on to each other. I'd be happier with it if the story were rounded out, and especially if they got a happy ending. The music is fine, acceptable rock, but nothing special.

"Jacob's Ladder" -- Huey Lewis and the News -- March 14, 1987

This song is a "fuck off" to televangelists, though if you only listen to the chorus you might not know that. I always appreciate anyone telling televangelists to fuck off. I could use it being nastier, but you can't expect real nastiness from Huey Lewis and the News. Genesis would go there a few years later, and I like that song much better. "Jesus He Knows Me" is also more interesting musically. This one's fine, but not memorable.

"Lean on Me" -- Club Nouveau -- March 21, 1987

The original "Lean on Me" is one of the great songs. This version is annoying. A go-go beat and a faux-reggae break. The original of this song is deeply emotional and touching. This one is not even a good dance song. I liked it when I was a kid, but that makes sense, because it's a very kiddie song.

"Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now" -- Starship -- April 4, 1987

This song is actually not bad. It's pretty good, even. It's a very slick synth-heavy drum machine love song, but I really like the way Grace Slick sings on it. Mickey Thomas, well, he hits the notes. Could be worse. If they'd gotten a male vocalist who could match Grace Slick on his part of the duet, this might be a great song. They didn't, so it's just pretty good.

"I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me)" -- Aretha Franklin and George Michael -- April 18, 1987

George Michael is an excellent singer, but he's no Aretha Franklin. But who is? He holds his own pretty well here. As both Franklin and Michael know how to push emotion in a song, they end up with good chemistry on this one. Unfortunately, though the vocal performances are great, the music itself is dull. The melody slips out of my head while I'm listening to it.

"(I Just) Died in Your Arms" -- Cutting Crew -- May 2, 1987

*silent scream of anguish* I wish this song would slip out of my head permanently. It is my personal most overplayed song in existence. My hate for it could end worlds. I have no idea about what qualities it might or might not have. I just want it to shut the fuck up.

"With or Without You" -- U2 -- May 16, 1987

I don't think U2 actually counts as "alternative," but the alternative stations were the only ones who played them where I lived. The song is extremely structured and carefully designed, but it feels somehow raw at the same time. It doesn't have the layers upon layers of synth that most of the songs on the charts did. It has a beautiful melody. The lyrics are thoughtful, heartrending poetry. I'm not sure what I thought of the song at the time -- I associate it more with a couple years later, when my family moved to a town near a huge state college and I started listening to the college station. It hasn't aged a bit. An amazing song.

Also Bono’s personality is somewhat insufferable if one is silly enough to look into it. But his voice is incredibly hot, and I very much appreciate that.

"You Keep Me Hangin' On" -- Kim Wilde -- June 6, 1987

Back to the layers of synth. This is the Supremes song updated as a 1987 dance song, and it sounds exactly like you'd think it would. It's okay.

"Always" -- Atlantic Starr -- June 13, 1987

This is the kind of song I made gagging noises about at age 10, when it came out. I'm tempted to now too. It's like corn syrup, both lyrically and musically. It sounds like it was written for weddings.

"Head to Toe" -- Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam -- June 20, 1987

I liked this song a lot when I was a kid. I had a lot of fun dancing to it. Now I hear Lisa Lisa's vocals in the opening and chorus, which are kind of like a police siren, and want to cover my ears. I can't listen to it without getting a headache nowadays.

"I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me)" -- Whitney Houston -- June 27, 1987

This is a Whitney Houston song I like. She doesn't oversing as much as usual -- she mostly, though not entirely, saves it for the chorus. She wants to dance with "a man who'll take a chance/ On a love that burns hot enough to last." It's a simple dance song that speaks to real emotion.

"Alone" -- Heart -- July 11, 1987

In the 80s, Heart did hair metal ballads. All the men who did the same were copying them. Including the hair itself. Heart did it first, and Heart did it best. So lyrically, why can't she get this person alone? Not even on the phone? Whatever, it doesn't matter. What matters is the emotion, the music, and that this is a great song to sing along with.

"Shakedown" -- Bob Seger -- August 1, 1987

Unlike Gregory Abbott, Bob Seger knew what "shakedown" meant. The song was written for Beverly Hills Cop II, and that's exactly what it sounds like. It's a good movie song, but doesn't transcend that box. Still fun though.

"I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" -- U2 -- August 8, 1987

This is a spiritual pop song. But it's very far from the sanitized happy clappy Christian-brand pop that's so foul. It's about a search for transcendence that's ongoing -- eternal, really. And while this song is explicitly Christian, it speaks to a universality that doesn't require religion of any kind. Also it's beautiful musically.

"Who's That Girl" -- Madonna -- August 22, 1987

I'm surprised this was a number one. Or even charted in the top 20. I'd have predicted #46 or something. The movie it was written for was terrible, and Madonna was particularly terrible in it. Like, aggressively terrible, when in most movies she was just kinda blah. I've never liked the song. I don't hate it either; I don't feel much of anything about it. That is very strange for a Madonna song -- "American Life" is awful, but it makes me feel things. (Mostly embarrassment.) But "Who's That Girl" is bland, which a Madonna song should never be.

"La Bamba" -- Los Lobos -- August 29, 1987

This is a nearly faithful rendition of Richie Valens' original hit, which was based on a Veracruz folk song. But where are the castanets? The original is better, a true classic, but this one isn't bad. It's simply... unnecessary. It was done for a movie about Valens, so I guess it was sort of "necessary" in that way. Skip this one and go for Valens' version.

"I Just Can't Stop Loving You" -- Michael Jackson with Siedah Garrett -- September 19, 1987

This is from the Bad album, which I did not like in 1987 and continue to not like now. I find this song extraordinarily dull. Whitney Houston and Barbra Streisand both turned it down, and I'm not surprised. This song weirdly makes me think of The Love Boat. Like it belongs in a television series. It's legitimately bad. When do we get to Janet again?

"Didn't We Almost Have It All" -- Whitney Houston -- September 26, 1987

I think the narrator in this song is trying to get an old flame back. It's a pretty melody, and the lyrics are wildly repetitive but not bad, but I can't get past Houston's oversinging. Anyone who doesn't mind that will probably enjoy this song.

"Here I Go Again" -- Whitesnake -- October 10, 1987

I wonder what makes one feel a song is "horribly overplayed" vs. just "played probably too much but I'm fine with it." This song is the latter for me. It's a really good song, so obviously that's part of it. The beginning is thoughtful and searching, with an organ and everything (or probably a synth on the organ setting), and has that same spiritual feel as "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For." Then in come the guitars, which are awesome. It absolutely rocks, and the emotion is of "like a drifter I was born to walk alone" is amplified by the rock, rather than buried under it.

"Lost in Emotion" -- Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam -- October 17, 1987

Lisa Lisa does not sound like a police siren in this, thankfully. And I got frozen on this song because I listened to it over and over and managed to feel absolutely nothing about it. I guess she's falling in love with a friend and worried she's telling him too much, and I should identify with this because it's happened to me more than once. But I don't. I like the bass line, and it's updated Motown, so I should like that. But again, I feel nothing. Maybe it's the way Lisa Lisa sings it. I don't know, and I've wasted far too much time on something I cannot make myself care about in any way.

"Bad" -- Michael Jackson -- October 24, 1987

I think the Bad album is bad. Actually bad, as in not good. I was 11 when this hit #1, so everything in the universe embarrassed me, but this stood out. I no longer knew anyone who liked Michael Jackson. I certainly didn't. In my opinion, Jackson had exactly one good album in him, and that album was Thriller. Thriller is one of the greats. Bad is blah.

"I Think We're Alone Now" -- Tiffany -- November 7, 1987

I wonder what makes stations decide to play #1 hits and what makes them decide not to. I don't remember hearing this much at the time, and never after. It's a cover of a 1960s song that was never that great, and it's worse here. In 1967, the "ooh we're alone gonna do something naughty" idea was still edgy. In 1987 -- are you kidding? Madonna's tearing up the charts in 1987; what on earth is this thing doing on it? It's an annoying song, annoyingly sung.

"Mony Mony" -- Billy Idol -- November 21, 1987

I had to do aerobics to this in middle school. Next!

"(I've Had) The Time of My Life" -- Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes -- November 28, 1987

This is one of those songs I can't really evaluate because it feels like background music to my life. Not that it was ever particularly important to me -- it's not. But it's sort of like "Eye of the Tiger", movie song and all. Medley and Warnes are well-matched on the song, and they do a great job. I wish the music were more interesting, but well, movie ballad. It's a good one for what it is. By the way, Dirty Dancing is another movie I've managed to never see. For no reason -- I might even like it. But somehow, it's never come up.

"Heaven Is a Place on Earth" -- Belinda Carlisle -- December 5, 1987

Ooh baby, do you know what that's worth? Yes. I love everything about this song. It's a big and unashamed dance power ballad about how great love is, and the lyrics are simple but powerful. But I have a question: What the heck is up with the video? It looks like she's being inducted into a cult, not like she's in ecstasy over great romantic love. Well, it was the 80s, the videos usually didn't have anything to do with the songs. Still, weird.

"Faith" -- George Michael -- December 12, 1987

I've known the lyrics to this song since it came out, but I never registered them before. Only "I gotta have faith, faith, faith." I remember the video, though, with its prominent focus on George Michael's butt. I'm watching the video now, and huh, there's a basically naked woman in it too. That, I didn't remember, because it wasn't relevant to my interests. Anyway, the lyrics are about how the narrator needs a break from relationships so is not gonna have sex with this hot woman. Sure, George, that's why. Ahem. Sorry, we didn't know then, and it doesn't matter one bit anyway, because the singer is playing a role. It's a fun song for which the lyrics don't matter at all.

BEST OF 1987 -- "With or Without You" by U2 WORST OF 1987 -- "I Just Can't Stop Loving You" by Michael Jackson with Siedah Garrett

#billboard number ones

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mateoweston · 4 years ago

Text

PATIENCE → PARA

who: mateo weston, rory flanagan ( @switch-it-up-rory )

when: february 7th

where: mateo’s room

warnings: first sexy scene! smut!

Mateo Weston

He was excited. He was for most scenes but as evidence had proven, hanging out with Rory was always interesting to say the least. Mateo usually liked to think of himself as good at reading people and went into most scenes with a general idea of how his partners would react. With Rory, he wasn’t so sure. There was a big chance he’d be true to his declaration and be patient, but Mateo was mostly curious to see what it would take to change that. By the time Rory knocked on the door, Mat had long finished setting up and easily waved him into the room. “We’ll take this to my room this time,” he pointed out, grin tugging at his lips, as he led the way there. Cuffs were already attached to the head of his bed and a variety of implements and toys were laid out on it. Some extra lengths of rope. A cock ring. Lube. A vibrating wand with a masturbator attachment. He wanted it all on display so Rory could get a look ahead of time, be it to give him a preview or give a chance to voice if he wasn’t into something after all. Closing the door behind them, he strolled over to perch against the edge of his desk for now. “So, you brought all that patience of yours?”

Rory Flanagan

The more Rory was getting to know Mateo, the weirder things were. And that wasn't necessarily a bad thing, per se, but Rory was used to being the one with all the surprises up his sleeve, to be the one to catch people out with his random anecdotes of his life before Florida, and general quirks of his personality, and varied interests. But Mat seemed to have Rory beat almost every time, and this new revelation about more explicit scenes was definitely something. The Irish lad never cared what was going on with people, as it was their own shit to figure out, and he'd keep this secret to the grave, but he was definitely curious for what the Dominant had to offer. They had stepped into the Dominant's bedroom, and Rory curiously looked around the space, eyebrows raising at everything was laid out. "Very prepared, Sir," He commnted, pointing to the bed, "Or like do you just have your shit lying about like this?" At Mateo's question, he shrugged, because he didn't know how to answer questions he didn't really liked being asked. "To show, like a famous ogre, I have more than one layer. A patience layer or some shit, I don't know."

Mateo Weston

The smile on his face turned into more of a grin as Rory talked. He truly thought it was impossible to be bored in his presence and while that was always entertaining, it also intrigued him. Especially now that he’d gotten to see a little more of Rory, he was curious what other layers that onion was hiding, to go with the presented metapher. “Well, I’m looking forward to testing that patience, then. Either way, we’re gonna have a good time,” he promised, gaze travelling down Rory’s body and then back up. After a brief moment of consideration, he pushed himself off his desk and slowly closed the distance between them, hands settling on Rory’s hips. “Tell me your safeword,” he requested, thumbs rubbing slow circles against the other’s hipbones. He knew it, of course, but wanted to bring it to both of their attention before they really got into this.

Rory Flanagan

Rory acknowledged that this was different than before, in the intimate privacy of Mateo's bedroom, feeling the Dominant's eyes on him in a way he hadn't previously felt, and Rory actually felt himself feeling a little hot under the collar. "A big promise to make, Sir," He found himself saying with a grin, gulping when he felt the Dominant's hands on his hips, completely forgetting what his safeword was, only thankful that today he decided to wear the dungarees that had the least amount of buttons to mess with. "Radish?" He guessed, even though it was his own safeword and technically it could be whatever he wanted. "Radish." Rory then repeated with some sort of confidence, though he didn't know where that came from, entirely too distracted by the feeling of Mat's hands tracing circles on his body, and he didn't know if he'd be able to say much more than that now, not that it was a word he wanted to say at all in this moment.

Mateo Weston

Mat was about to ask whether Rory was telling or asking him, but hummed in appreciation when he seemed to almost read his mind. "Good boy," he praised softly. "Use it if you need to." Another pause to let that sink in before he went on to explain his plans. "First of all, I'm gonna get all these clothes off you," he paused briefly to move one hand up from Rory's hips, his index finger hooking under the front of his dungarees for emphasis, "and you're just gonna stand here, relax and be good for me." With that, he slipped the one dungaree strap off his shoulder, letting them both hang around his hips. With the obstruction out of the way, his hands moved to the hem of his shirt, dipping under it for just a moment to rest against his stomach. Somehow keeping a close, literal skin-to-skin contact, felt important. "Arms up," he ordered, fingers curling against the hem of his shirt to lift it up and over his head. "There we go," he hummed, hands finding Rory's now bare waist, pulling him close while the other hand slowly trailed up his chest. "All good?"

Rory Flanagan

"Don't worry Sir, I think that'll be the last time you'll hear the word." Rory promised with a wink, knowing it was extremely bold to promise something like that, in a brand new scene where a lot more could go wrong than intended. But something stopped Rory from thinking such things as he registered the other man's words. It was the idea of Mateo, in a more serious Dominant mode than Rory had ever seen him, being all seductive and in charge, having to remove his dungarees, that almost set Rory off, and although he managed to contain what he was sure would be a big laughing fit, a little chuckle escaped him, but the laughter choked with a hitch in his throat because, somehow, Mat did make somewhat alluring, flicking off the straps of the outfit, and the Switch managed to do exactly what was told of him, watching him like a hawk. Rory's fingers twitched whe he felt Mat's hand come in contact with his stomach, wanting to touch him in return, but he just lifted his arms up, goosebumps raising on his arms as his not-so-bare skin was exposed, letting out a pleasantly surprised huff when Mateo pulled him in close again. "Yeah," Rory agreed, "was a bit stifling, in all those layers. So....are you gonna strip next, Sir?" He smirked, "Tit for tat and all that?"

Mateo Weston

Admittedly, there might have been something a little amusing about trying to make the removal of dungarees sexy. But then again, it had been Rory's idea to wear them in the first place so he decided the humour of it was entirely on him -- even if he couldn't help the grin on his own face in return to the other's chuckle. At his question, he hummed, the hand on Rory's waist sliding lower in a subtle attempt at finding where these damn pants had their buttons hid. Fortunately, they turned out to be rather easy to locate and so he shook his head as his fingers trailed over them. "No," he settled on after a moment, fingers slowly moving to pop the first button. "I want to see you first. And you were gonna be patient, remember?" he grinned, popping the second button and causing the dungarees to begin slipping. Besides, he'd always found the difference in state of dress to add something to a scene, at least for a little while. "Step out," he ordered, moving back a little to give Rory room to get the rest of the way out of his pants. "And then I want you on the bed, on your back."

Rory Flanagan

The reminder of Rory's patience made him rasie an eyebrow, slightly embarassed that he forgot about that part of it all. "I am very patient," He countered, fingers curling to stop his hands from tracing against Mateo's as the other man undid his buttons, "I just like knowing what's what, you know? Making a schedule and all tha'." When in doubt, he supposed, talk shit. He shimmied out of the dungarees that pooled to his feet, thin fabric of his underwear being the only thing preventing his heavily tattooed body being fully exposed, feeling weirdly vulnerable. He had been in various states of undress with various different people, but something about Mateo being involved, a man who had very particular views on scening, made him feel like it was almost taboo to be in his boxers in his bedroom. Rory however did what was told, laying on the bed, ignoring every instinct to pick up the toys laid out on the other side and play with them, not wanting whatever scene Mateo had in mind to veer into punishments. "Comfy," He commented, patting the bed spread as if it were a pet.

Mateo Weston

Mat made no secret of the way his gaze followed Rory as he laid down, travelling over the expanses of skin exposed by now. And he had to admit -- he was a real pretty sight. In a very objective way, of course. It wasn't until Rory had settled down that Mat reached for the hem of his own shirt, tugging it up and over his head with little ceremony. His focus tonight would not be on himself, so this was mostly for hopefully making Rory feel a little more comfortable in not being the only one exposed. "There you go," he muttered as he finally followed suit, one knee on the bed as his hands nudged Rory's knees apart to make enough space for him to fit between. Leaning over him, he ran one hand up his chest, stopping only when it had reached his chin. Thumbing over the vague stubble there, he cupped it, keeping Rory's head in space when he spoke. "Good boy. You're doing great," he reassured, a little softer than he might have usually been. After a brief pause, he moved, sitting back enough so he could actually use his hands and find Rory's wrists. He pinned first one, then the other wrist above his head with one of his and leaned back in, his body weight pressing them into the mattress. His free hand was back on Rory's chin then, tipping it up for no real reason except that he could. Moving in closer yet, his thumb brushed over Rory's bottom lip. "And do you know what good boys get?"

Rory Flanagan

Rory wasn't aware that he wolf-whistled at Mateo taking off his shirt until he could hear the tune echo in his ears, and he merely smirked to cover up for the flush on his cheeks. He wasn't blind, he always knew the Dominant before him was an objectively attractive male, but something about his shirt being off really cemented it in that Mateo Weston was a ride. He let out a weird gasp-like noise at the feeling of Mateo nudging his knees apart, that his body allowed as if he was on auto-pilot. He gulped when Mat traced his face, feeling any smart comment he might have had leave his brain. "Thank you, Sir," He answered thickly, though he wasn't really sure what he had done so far to count as being good, though he didn't mind the phrasing this time around, in fact wanting to hear it again. He didn't even resist when Mat picked up his wrist, letting out a small gasp at the sensation of their bodies pressing together. "A prize?" He asked, hopefully.

Mateo Weston

There was something about seeing Rory like this -- all flushed and gasping instead of full of the usual witty remarks -- that got to him. It was part of what he'd always enjoyed when playing with someone who pushed back a little: that moment when he managed to topple the bravado. It was a thrill that never got any less exciting. "That's right. A reward," he returned, small smile on his face as he leaned in. His lips pressed against just the corner of Rory's mouth, then to his jaw, his neck. When he'd made his way there, there was a brief pause before teeth dug into sensitive skin -- lightly at first, to test the waters -- before his tongue soothed over the spot. At the same time, he moved one of his legs up higher between Rory's, mercifully providing at least a little bit of friction. He deserved a reward, after all.

Rory Flanagan

It wasn't like Rory to be frozen or tongue-tied, but it was like Mateo had some sort of hold over him, and he was under his spell, determined to wait patiently and be good for him, to listen to him and do exactly what he was told. A small groan escaped him when the Dominant's mouth moved from his own down his jaw, and throat, letting out a pant when he felt his teeth sink it, hissing out in pleasure, shifting at the feeling of the friction Mateo's legs were providing. "I thought this was a reward, Sir," Rory gasped out, somehow finally finding his voice again, "but it seems like you're just teasing me." He grinned as he made his comment, giving away that he perhaps didn't mind being teased at all, but he wouldn't directly admit that, of course.

Mateo Weston

Mateo hummed as if he was genuinely considering Rory's words, the vibrations of it meeting the other's throat where he'd decided to bite down a little harder this time. He had a thing for marks. "Something tells me it's pretty rewarding for you." he commented, moving his leg up against him a little for emphasis. Speaking of teasing, though, he did have further plans. Pulling back and sitting up a little, he brushed some hair our of Rory's face. "But I do think I'mma need two hands for the rest of this. So let's get yours nice and tied up." With that, he attached both of Rory's wrists into the cuffs already hanging from the headboard. Rope was nice but the cuffs were quicker to both put on and take off if needed be. And especially for their first time sceneing together, he wanted that option. "There," he proclaimed, clearly satisfied at his work once he was done, and sat back on his knees. Damn if he wasn't pretty, all spread out like that. This time, his hands settled on Rory's knees, slowly travelling up his thighs. While one hand continued up over his stomach, the other one hovered before giving in. Brushing the back of his knuckles lightly over the shape of Rory's cock in his underwear, he clicked his tongue. "Did you enjoy being teased?"

Rory Flanagan

Normally Rory would feel somewhat embarassed at how quickly it took for him to be turned on, but somehow with Mateo he couldn't quite bring himself to care. He wanted the Dominant above him knowing how much he got to him, as sad and desperate it may have seemed. "Oh, really?" He managed to say, with a playful eyeroll, "God I wonder what gives you that impression." He noticed when he seemed to relax more, when he wasn't so on edge, he could still be himself, though Mat was still managing to find ways to shut him up with each new touch on his body, and all he could was look up at him as he brushed his hair out of his face, a gesture so weirdly soft and intimate in the general weirdness of this whole scene, but definitely a good weird, he decided. He smirked seeing the handcuffs. "Last time I was in a pair of these it was a much less enjoyable experience than I'm sure this will be, Sir," He menitoned, moving his arms, the cuffs sliding along the bedframe, stopping when he realised it might get him into trouble, and also, because Mateo's hands were on him again, moving slowly to where Rory was aching to be touched. He gulped thickly, before nodding. "I did, Sir." He said, the attitude from before gone from his voice again, replaced by the lust that was a thick cloud in his head.

Mateo Weston

“Trust me, it’ll be enjoyable alright,” he teased in return. He’d gone into this still fairly careful, Fauna’s words of caution ringing in his head, and while Mateo wasn’t about to dive straight into the deep end of the most intense stuff he could think of, he was starting to relax more. Perhaps Rory didn’t have much experience -- but their banter remained easy and unless Mat was really reading the room wrong, he seemed fairly at ease, too. “I’m gonna have to keep that in mind, then,” he mused, as if the thought of teasing him further had only just entered his mind and wasn’t the entire theme of this scene. His fingers kept moving, feather light over Rory’s cock while the hand that had moved up to his chest paused to lightly pinch at a nipple, just to see what kind of a reaction he’d get. “I think we should get rid of this, don’t you?” he mused after a moment, hand moving from Rory’s crotch to the waistband of his briefs. Fingertips dipped under for a moment before he grasped at the piece of clothing. “Up,” he ordered, waiting until Rory lifted his hips to pull it down all the way. Discarding the item somewhere off to the side, he moved back on, hands hooking under Rory’s knees to bend and spread them to make room. “Such a good boy,” he praised, voice soft again, as his palms settled on either side of Rory’s hips. “All good?”

Rory Flanagan

A small moan escaped him as Mateo's hands brushed along his cock, taking advantage of being able to shift against him in an attempt to feel some relief, because there was no rule about him not being able to move. "You better not be getting any ideas, Sir," He said with a cocky smile, that was quickly replaced by a whine, arching his back as the Dominant tweaked his nipple, sending ripples of arousal down his spine. It wasn't even something that could have been considered painful, but it reminded Rory that he really enjoyed pain. He did what he was told, lifting his hips and helping Mat to the best of his ability wiggle out of his briefs, shivering slightly at the cold air on his now exposed half-hard cock, waiting with anticipation on what Mat would do next. "You love to man handle," He commented, before he could stop himself. It wasn't in his usual teasing tone, nor was it a criticism, just stating a fact, looking up at the Dominant with a curious expression, because he couldn't admit to himself he enjoyed that aspect a bit too much. "All good." He confirmed.

Mateo Weston

"I started this with ideas. Why'd you think I said we'd test your patience?" he returned, his own expression easily matching Rory's in cockiness. Which, admittedly, might be a little easier to do when you weren't the one tied up. At Rory's observation on his love for manhandling, he shrugged a shoulder and pulled Rory's hips towards himself a little as if on emphasis. "It's nice to make someone do something just by saying so -- but it's also nice to not give them the choice, sometimes." He took a moment to just look, gaze trailing over the seemingly dozens of tattoos covering at least some of all body parts. As he reached the one just above his crotch, he had to stifle a grin. God, it was all so in character. Considering his options for a moment, his gaze finally returned to Rory's face and he waited until he was looking at him to raise his palm and lick broadly across it. "So," he started, almost too casual, as he wrapped his palm around Rory's cock and began stroking -- too slow to really get anywhere, but enough to tease. "Here's what we're gonna do. I'm gonna get you nice and close and you're gonna tell me when you get there. You don't cum without permission. And if you're good, I'll make it very much worth your while. Understood?"

Rory Flanagan

"Because you have no faith in my ability to be patient," Rory murmured, the cocky tone in his answer being lost in the breathlessness of his voice, though he was thankful for the reminder that he simply had to be patient for Mat, so he could prove the Dominant wrong. That's what all of this was about, after all. The Switch had some smart comment on the tip of his tongue regarding Mateo and free-will but he'd only managed to get out "It seems like --," before his hips were pulled forward and the rest of the sentence was lost in a gasp, falling out of his head as his brain could only think about Mat's hands on his skin. He felt even more naked at the way Mateo's eyes seemed to linger on his body, a blush forming on his face as each tattoo seemed to be studied silently by the Dominant. He grinned almost sheepishly when Mat made eye contact with him again, trying to focus on his words, but let out a low groan when his cock began receiving some much-needed attention. "Hmm, yep, completely understood Sir," He said with an eager nod, almost wanting to ask him to pick up the speed a little, but not wanting to seem impatient.

Mateo Weston

It was almost comical, how responsive Rory was and how every comment died on his tongue with the touch of Mat's hand. And beyond that, it was nice to spend some time with someone he got along with so easily, whom he could push and pull with and still have a pretty good grasp on how this was going to end. Once he had Rory's confirmation, Mat leaned back in, teeth first against the skin near his collarbone, then further up his neck. He wasn't quite as careful this time, now that he'd had a chance to gage Rory's reaction. After a moment he paused, lips hovering just underneath Rory's ear and the hand that wasn't holding him up still working Rory over just a tad slow. "Good boy," he murmured, thumb swiping over the head of his cock as if to make his point. "Such a good boy."

Rory Flanagan

Everytime Mateo praised him, called Rory a good boy, the affirmations went straight to his cock, and in addition to the teasing touches by Mateo's hand, the Switch wasn't sure how long he could be patient for. He let out a groan at the feeling of the teeth grazing his collarbone, the delicious sensation of the pain sinking into his skin. "Sir..." He tried to say, blushing when it came out more as a whimper, pulling against his restraints again in an effort to silently ask the Dominant to go a bit faster, without having to actually beg for it and prove his point he wasn't that patient after all.

Mateo Weston

"Yes?" Mateo inquired once he'd finished leaving a mark low on his neck. He pulled back a little so he could look at Rory, one eyebrow raising. His free hand travelled across his chest, fingers pinching at a nipple again. This time, he payed a little more attention and time, twisting slightly as he kept his eyes on Rory's face. "Tell me what you want. Maybe I'm feeling nice."

Rory Flanagan

"Fuck," Rory groaned in response, half tempted to bat Mat and his smug expression away, letting out another groan when he realised he was still tied up, hissing when his nipple was once again pinced. "I want you to stop being slow, Sir." Rory said, "And go a bit faster, if you can."

Mateo Weston

"Such a good boy," he praised softly, the sweet words a perhaps stark contrast to the way his fingers continued to twist at his nipple. Still, he was true to his words and sped up at his request, wrist twisting each time he got to the head. "You tell me when you get close though, remember."

Rory Flanagan

It was like a wire had crossed in Rory's brain, because all he wanted to do was be a good boy for Mat, and he couldn't quite believe it. But everytime the Dominant praised him, it went straight to his head, and all he wanted was more. He let out an appreciative groan when Mat sped up, the twisting motion making the Switch bite his lip and wriggle against his restraints. "God that won't take long," He panted, "When you keep doing that," Rory tried to shoot a pointed look to Mat's wrist, though he couldn't really focus, and he knew he probably looked more desperate than annoyed right now.

Mateo Weston

"Good, that's the plan," Mat commented with a grin, pointedly twisting his wrist a little more now that Rory had brought it up. He wanted to see him let go, watch the bravado melt away and let him relax. It was part of the reason he liked playing with brats the most -- not only was it real rewarding when he finally broke through that shell, but it was also really nice seeing them actually giving in and letting themselves be taken care of. Shifting, he moved his free hand off Rory's nipple and down his body, nails scratching lightly over his skin as he went. Finally, gentle fingers cupped Rory's balls, squeezing slightly while his other hand kept up its motion.

Rory Flanagan

It was taking all he had not to groan and shift too much, because he didn't want to give Mat the satisfaction. But it was clear he was extremely stimulated, and a moan escaped him when Mat began to lightly scratch down his torso, whimpering when his balls were squeezed slightly. The knot in his stomach tightened, and he shifted his hips up. "Fuck, I'm close, I'm close," He panted out, voice more desperate than he intended.

Mateo Weston

As soon as Rory spoke, Mat's hand stopped stroking, squeezing around the base of his cock instead. "Good boy. Breathe for me, relax." His voice was soothing now as his free hand slid up and down Rory's thigh. He waited for him to settle down enough that he could be relatively sure he wasn't a second away from the edge anymore before he moved again, grabbing the cockring from the side. "Let's make sure you don't accidentally go over, hm? Would be a shame," he narrated as he fit it onto Rory, tightening it enough for it to be useful but not painful. "And now," Mat began, reaching for the vibrator with the attachment and the lube, "Let's make the second one a little more fun, hm?"

Rory Flanagan

He let out a gasping breath, following Mat's orders, willing his body to relax. He managed to calm himself down, his heart rate slowly, focusing on Mat's calming voice. He closed his eyes for a bit whilst he took a moment, and when he opened them, he was greeted to Mat holding a few toys, a shudder rippling through his body when the Dominant attached the cockring. "Oh, fuck," He murmured, eyes widening at the vibrator and lube. "You're going to be the fucking death of me."

Mateo Weston

"I'd hope not, that would be very hard to explain to people," he joked in return. Meanwhile, he took his time to get some lube, stroking Rory a few times to get him slick. With that done, he began to slowly work the cock-sleeve attachment onto him, giving him enough time to get used to the sensation without any further stimulation. Only once it rested around the base of his cock did he tap Rory's thigh to get his attention. "Rules stay the same, you tell me when you're close. I suspect it'll be a bit faster this time." And with that warning, he flicked the vibrator to the highest setting and began pumping it up and down his cock.

Rory Flanagan

“That sounds like a you problem, Sir,” Rory gasped out, though his brain forgetting whatever half attempt at conversation they were having as he stroked him with the lube, cock twitching with interest at what was happening. The feeling of the attachment was one he could only describe as weird and unfamiliar, but not necessarily bad, and truthfully he was excited to see what would happen next. He shifted a bit at the tapping on his thigh, biting his lip to stop a whine from leaving him. “Yes, Sir, I understand —,” His voice cracked when the vibrator started and he let out a groan. “Oh god, oh fuck,” He moaned.

Mateo Weston

If he'd thought the noises Rory had been making before were gorgeous, the ones the vibrator pulled out of him were music to Mat's ears. "Such pretty noises," he praised, the near shit-eating grin on his face definitely evident in his voice. The hand that wasn't operating the vibrator clasped over Rory's hip to keep him pinned to the bed, just in case. "Maybe I'll do this for a little longer than I planned -- now that you just sound so pretty, stopping sooner seems like a waste."

Rory Flanagan

Rory let out a moan that was half pleasure, half frustration when Mat kept him pinned down to the bed, his hips still thrusting upwards despite the obstacles. “I...” Rory gasped out, feeling himself close to begging for Mat to give him some relief, the stubborn part of him not wanting to give in just yet. “I think you should stick to your original plan, Sir,” He eventually managed to say, his the cracking in his voice giving away just how aroused he currently was.

Mateo Weston

“Unfortunately, that’s not really your choice right now,” Mat hummed playfully, thumbing over Rory’s hipbone as he moved the vibrator up to the head of his cock and paused there to watch the other twitch or a while. Still, his gaze was pinned to Rory’s face, watching carefully. As much as he liked to tease and push, he also didn’t want to push too far and have Rory go over accidentally. He wanted him to succeed -- it would make the reward in the end so much more pleasurable. “Are you close yet?” he questioned, free hand brushing over Rory’s balls and continuing on, rubbing absently over his perineum.

Rory Flanagan

If Rory was in the headspace to argue, he absolutely would, but he couldn't focus on a cohesive argument when he was trying to calm his body down against the vibrator and the attachment, to not much avail. He did let out a barked laugh at the question, looking at Dominant as if he were mad for asking something so obvious, but then he took a deep breath. "Yes. Yes I am very fucking close Sir." He whined.

Mateo Weston

As soon as Rory spoke, Mat turned off the vibrator and moved it back down towards the base of his cock to let it rest there for a moment. "Good boy. Take a deep breath for me," he soothed, one hand on Rory's thigh, the other one rubbing slowly from his stomach up to his chest. "You're doing so well. Relax." He kept the touches gentle and the words just as soothing as he let a few moments pass, hopefully enough to get Rory at least a bit more away from the edge. "One more edge, then I'll let you cum, alright? Can you do that?"

Rory Flanagan

Even though Mat asked for a deep breath, it took Rory a couple of shallow pants, as if swallowing the air without really inhaling it, before he breathed as instructed, letting his body relax into Mat's reassuring touches, letting the praise was over him. Once his body calmed down, he glanced back up at Mat. "Yeah, yep. I can do that, Sir," He promised, glad that Mat was checking in to make sure he wasn't pushed too far.

Mateo Weston

"There you go, that's it. Such a good boy." With how well Rory seemed to respond to praise, it was easy to lean into that, to allow him to relax into the knowledge that he was doing well. "Good," he chuckled at Rory's eventual answer and, with that, reached for the dial on the vibrator to flip it up to its highest setting once more. For now, let let it rest around the base of Rory's cock and ran his hands up his thighs. "Next time, we'll make it four."

Rory Flanagan

It felt like he had barely any time to recuperate from the edge when he heard Mat's chuckle, eyebrow's raising with curiosity at what he was about to do. When he switched the vibrator on again, a loud groan left him, his body feeling like electric shocks were jolting down his spine, wishing his hands were untied so he could move it off his cock, precum leaking onto his stomach, twitching at the sensitivity, back arching at Mat's hands moving up his thighs. "You're fucking killing me, Sir," He gasped out, voice cracking in what almost sounded like a sob.

Mateo Weston

The noise of the near-sob went straight through Mat, making his skin prickle and his heart beat a little faster. A part of him wanted to be meaner and tease Rory, ask whether he was going to cry for him. And with someone else, he just might have. But Rory's apparent inexperience with d/s was enough to make him tread a little carefully, lest he step over some line even Rory didn't know existed. "It'll be worth it," he promised instead, grabbing the vibrator to begin moving it up and down his length once more. "Just imagine how nice it's gonna be when you get to cum."

Rory Flanagan

If Rory could focus on both trying not to cum, and being snarky back to the Dominant hovering over him, he would have rolled his eyes and asked if it was worth it, really. But with each pulsating motion of the vibrator going through his oversensitive nerves, arms going dead from where his tied wrists had managed to grip the headboard, he knew truly, it definitely would be worth it. "I can't imagine, Sir, or I'll actually cum," He admitted with a pant, "Please, fuck, fuck I'm so...close, I can't anymore." All previous bravado had faded, and he was just a blabbering mess, half desperate to cum just to feel relief, and half desperate to not to, his urge to be a good boy for Mat more powering than anyhing else in that moment.

Mateo Weston

It was a very pretty display, the second that Rory broke. All the snark melting away for good, every muscle in his body pulled taught as he strained against his restraints. Mat truly hoped he'd get to see it all again. "You're doing so well," he praised again and, after brief consideration, moved the vibrator off Rory's cock and discarded it off to the side once it was turned off. He wanted to use his hands for the last part. "I'm going to count you down. 10 seconds, you can hold on that long." With that, his hand wrapped around him again, picking up speed easily and twisting his wrist with every stroke as he began the countdown. At two, he popped the cockring open and let it fall to the side. "One -- well done. Cum for me, Rory. You can let go."

Rory Flanagan

He didn't know how long he could last, and the countdown seemed to be almost mocking him, though he knew deep down it was to keep ihm steady and grounded for a few more seconds, to give him a sense of time. He groaned heavily, and though he doubted he'd admit it to his face, Mat's hand around his now throbbing cock was a much preferred sensation over to the vibrator, and not just for sensitivity reasons. He moaned heavily when the cock ring popped off and the extra pressure was gone, and the moment the command fell from Mat's lips, Rory let go, coming hard with a collective of curses, body shaking, feeling the cum fall warm onto his stomach. "Shit, fuck, fuck," He panted, giving himself a moment to breathe. "Wow." Was all he said, remembering they were in a scene, and he turned to Mat. "Thank you, Sir."

Mateo Weston

Mat continued to stroke Rory through his orgasm, stopping only when he seemed to be all done. With someone else or at another time, he might have continued just a bit for fun but he wanted this to be a well-rounded and wholly fun experience for Rory. So he just ran his clean hand up his side for a moment, wanting to keep the skin-to-skin-contact. "Good boy," he praised, then leaned to the side to grab some wet-wipes from the bedside table. Doing more of a quick than a thorough job to clean up first his hand and then Rory, he discarded everything off to the side and then moved up Rory's body. Experienced fingers undid the ties on his wrists and carefully brought his arms back down. "You did so well," he reiterated as he carefully massaged at one of Rory's forearms, wanting to make sure no harm was done. "How do you feel?"

Rory Flanagan

It was admittedly nice to just say there, whining slightly at cold feeling of the wet-wipe on his skin, but refreshing all the same. He groaned when his arms, stiff from being in that position for so long, were finally free, and though he was tempted to shake them around like a particularly aggressive game of the hokey-cokey, Rory thought it was best to leave for Mat to check over him. "Like I've been fucking tortured and used," He snarked, but he couldn't help the grin that came over him, partly from the post-orgasm endrophins pumping through his system, "but also good, satisfied, happy I achieved a task...patient." He laughed, letting out a hum at Mat massaging his arm, "How do you feel?"

Mateo Weston

Mat merely raised an eyebrow at the snark, a playful smile playing around his lips. The addition Rory brought on a moment later made him hum in appreciation, switching to his other arm in the meantime. "Good. You were very good for me, so you can be proud of yourself," he pointed out, fingers passing over Rory's skin to make sure he was all good. "I feel really good. Glad I made you feel good, proud of how good you were." Satisfied with Rory's arms being fine, he reached for one of the water bottles on the nightstand and handed it to Rory. "Have a few sips."

Rory Flanagan

Though he'd be quick to deny it, Rory was actually happy to hear that Mat was proud of him, and that the Dominant enjoyed the scene as much as Rory did. He took the water gratefully, making sure to sip gently rather than chug it as he was tempted to do. "Did you know it's the Superbowl today?" He suddenly asked, wondering if they could have a normal conversation, or if Mat would try and divert it back to scene talk. "I wonder if we missed the half-time show."

Mateo Weston

The laugh Mat let out at the sudden realisation sat somewhere between amusement and surprise, head shaking slightly. Of course this was where this conversation had suddenly gone -- there was always something unexpected with Rory, it seemed. "I do. I'mma catch the rerun later," he said, deciding not to reveal that he'd ended up cancelling on a superbowl party for this scene. That made it all sound a lot more grave than it was and maybe was a little weird. "But we could definitely see whether we can catch half-time show and the second half," he added with a glance towards the time and grabbed for the remote -- and a chocolate bar, offering the latter to Rory. "Eat that, gotta get your blood sugar levels back up."

Rory Flanagan

It would take Rory a few days to really accept the fact he enjoyed this scene more than he thought he would, and he took the bar of chocolate gratefully. If these were the bonuses, in addition to the endorphins pumping through his system, it might be something he could consider in the long run. "Hey maybe watching the Half-Time show could be my aftercare, Sir?" He suggested, with a cheeky grin. And really, though he wouldn't admit to Mateo who seemed too big for his boots about this kind of thing, scening with him wouldn't be so bad after all.

#rory #para

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diveronarpg · 4 years ago

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Congratulations, JULIE! You’ve been accepted for the role of BRUTUS. Admin Rogue: There is always something about the way you write unvarnished truth that gets me, every single time. Boris is not a likable character by any means, but I still find myself curious about him when seen through your lens. You want to make ruin of him, or maybe for him to make ruin of us, and it’s so attractively despicable that I don’t know what to do with myself. I don’t know if we’ve ever had a character this unapologetic, not just to some but to every single person in Verona. Let them try and eat him, let them spit him back out, let them realize he will not be swallowed no matter how much he deserves it. I can already see the way he’ll burn across the dash, a torch-song I want to touch, and I couldn’t be happier to welcome you back to us in this new and exciting form! Please review the CHECKLIST and send your account in within 24 hours.

WELCOME TO THE MOB.

OUT OF CHARACTER

Alias | Julie

Age | 20

Preferred Pronouns | She/her

Activity Level | Given that I’ll probably be stuck at home searching for a job for the next month, I figure my activity will be okay. The usual reply every other day or so situation, I hope!

Timezone | MST

Triggers | Already listed!

How did you find the rp? | Two years ago I went diving into the LSRPG tag because I was curious and now here we are. :)

Current/Past RP Accounts | Santino, Loretta, Lucien

IN CHARACTER

Character | Brutus / Boris Kovrov

What drew you to this character? | Brutus, I think, is one of the most human characters in Diverona by default, without development, in the sense that he is so selfish it makes you want to tear your eyeballs out. It’s the same with most people: we encourage each other to take time to themselves, to put themselves first, but can feel rebuffed or insulted when they actually do that. Boris has taken that to the ultimate extreme: everything he does is for himself and no one else. He didn’t ascend within the Montagues because he wanted to further his family’s social standings, he did it because he alone wanted to succeed.

He’s not apologetic about it, either, and that’s what makes him so interesting. At all times, Boris is fully aware he is perceived as underhanded and generally disliked among the mob, but he’s so good at what he does that it doesn’t matter. He returns to Verona with a searing brand of shame in the form of his personal betrayal, and anyone could see that if they just fucking looked close enough, but they don’t. That’s where his talent really lies, and that’s what makes him so weirdly endearing to me: he makes himself valuable, and even when he does the worst possible thing a person could do in a mob, it still doesn’t undercut his worth. He makes himself out to be a friend, lies and lies and lies, and because most people don’t want to make the effort or choose not to, it’s believable.

Some might call him cut-throat, or a coward, a backstabber, potentially even brutal: he’s not ashamed of sprinkling rat poison into the food of his competition if it means he’ll succeed. He’s an opportunist at best and a manipulator at worst, and if there’s anything to be said about Verona, it’s that the manipulators usually come out at the front of the pack. The last sentence or so in his bio are what really sealed the deal for me: “The historians fail to mention that the traitors are the ones who survive, who outlive empires and kingdoms, who lay their sovereigns to rest and spread their ashes like trail markers.” God help him, Boris will come out of Verona alive, no matter how much of it he feeds into and how much of himself he lets it consume.

What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character? |

• Fly not; stand stiff: ambition’s debt is paid. I’d love to see some real-time consequences for Boris’ betrayal of the Montague family. Others have been ousted for less, but somehow he gets to remain? That doesn’t seem particularly fair, but Boris couldn’t give a shit about fair if he tried. He sold his information to a mob in Russia for the purpose of a safety net. Other emissaries also deal with Russia – it’d make sense that one of them might hear about the dark dealings and try to use it to their own advantage, were they so ambitious. Or maybe it will come from someone higher up, like Castora, who knows more than they’ve let on. Maybe this will lead to his demotion, his death, Damiano’s assassination, the ushering in of a new era – who knows? These things don’t play out without someone paying the price, and I want Brutus to pay in full.

• I kill’d not thee with half so good a will. In my head, Boris has been out of the picture for some time now, working on relations between the American families and the Montagues to keep business booming. I’d love to explore the Verona Boris left a little over a year ago (totally headcanon, by the way! I’m happy to adjust wherever necessary) and how it’s changed in comparison to what it is now. Roman Montague has failed as an heir, the Witches hung in a public trial, all illusions of neutrality or working towards peace have been shot right through the middle. Damiano is unraveling at the seams, and the question of who will lead the Montagues lacks an answer entirely. It’s complete and utter chaos: messy, bloody, exactly the kind of environment Boris thrives in. I want him to wreak as much havoc as possible in his own way, and if he can’t do that, then I’d like to see him secure his seat closest to the throne when the concept of a coup becomes inevitable.

• But hollow men, like horses hot at hand / Make gallant show and promise of their mettle. He hunts Tomas Sabello and Bernadette du Pont because they are the easiest openings into both sides of the mobs. Bernadette is croquettish and manipulative but still naive, in Boris’ eyes, to the difficult path which lies ahead. I could see him trying to sway her to the Montagues if she would only listen. Grace Daly had done it for less, after all. Sabello, on the other hand, is Boris’ favorite target: throat exposed, head leaned back, weeping tears of sorrow over his wife. Boris has experience with the follies of the heart and he can see that Celeste has never loved the man, and frankly, Boris doesn’t think there’s much to the man to love. He’s hollow on the inside, scraped out with a metal spoon. His arrival so late into the act poses some difficulties, but he’s hopeful he’ll be able to pick up where he left off.

Are you comfortable with killing off your character? | Absolutely!

IN DEPTH

In-Character Para Sample:

Valentina Gallo dies a violent death. An inextricable, unforgiving death. An ugly death. When they take pull her body from her brother’s arms, and she is taken in to be seen by Damiano’s own eyes, witness the violence which has laid itself across the barren field of a corpse –

This is when Boris is called home.

Exit, Viola.

Enter, Brutus.

He bids Lorenzo and the rest of the Gambino family farewell that same night over the phone: Lorenzo calls him a bastard for not shaking his hand before saying goodbye, but Boris has other things on his mind: A plane. The brisk cold mornings that give way to blustery sunshine. Damiano greeting him as a member of the family instead of an extension of his long reach, like he had a year ago. He can remember the phone call well. He’d run it through, night after night, dissecting and picking apart intonation and tone and the speed with which Damiano had dismissed him, like a dog begging for scraps hastily shoved away from the dinner table. He lets the familiarity of the conversation wash over him as he settles in his plane seat the night of the twenty-seventh. He’ll be there by morning.

I’ll be there to greet you, Damiano had said. Boris had tried not to read into it too much.

New York was intended to be punishment and apology wrapped up into one. Damiano sent him off to deal with the budding crime syndicates and crush them under the imaginary Montague heel. He would spread seeds of dissent and terror: most fall silent when he enters a room for good reason, and it is in this way that he gets them to listen when he speaks. Most would not expect a man as imposing as Boris to speak so passionately; he’s always been a fan of turning ideas on their heads. By weaving tales of just what the Montague family has at its disposal, he alone would stamp out the passionate flames of greed and light his own small fire of fear.

In his younger years this would have intimidated Brutus. When he’d received the call a year ago, he’d only felt dread.

But he’d done well. It took him five months to chase down every single lead provided to him by men paid under the table, and after that, all there had been to do was clean up the mess and socialize. Shake hands with the shattered fragments of the once-powerful mob families, reach out to the contacts he’d had in Canada and New Orleans, as they were perhaps the most influential, the ones who could sway the boat with weaponry and other fun and exciting goods that still had his heart pounding when he looked at them.

He’d thought about calling Evgeny once, and only once: when Damiano had chewed him out over the phone for something that was not his fault and hadn’t been in his wheelhouse to begin with. Boris knew, that night, what Evgeny would say. Patience, Kovrov. We’ll be here when you’re ready.

When you’re ready. Whatever that meant. For all Evgeny knew, Boris would never be ready. He’d die with Verona just out of reach.

He startles awake as the plane hits turbulence coming into Verona, heading towards the landing strip. It’s a bumpy landing, but he’s never done well in planes to begin with. He thinks, often, of his father, who had marked to Boris that all would be well just before returning to Russia. The flight wouldn’t make it, of course. Damiano had ensured it: Sasha Kovrov had been dead weight long enough. All he could’ve hoped for, Boris thought, was that his son would prove worthy of something.

And he had. He’d crawled on his hands and knees across glass and gravel, waded through blood and sweat, and tears – never his own, if he could help it – to see the Montague family through to the other side. Could he really have been blamed for wanting to ensure he had some sort of future laid out for him, even if it wasn’t in the name of the two old bloodlines of Verona? In return, he’d gotten: a usurpation of a position that should have been his, a pound’s worth of rat poison that he couldn’t use, distrust among his peers and disgust from the one man who should have seen his dedication, and a promise he couldn’t act upon until he was ready.

враки.

He exits the plane, meets Damiano on the tarmac, and just as quickly they are swept away by Damiano’s driver. There is no discussion of previous business, tasks he has completed. Craven is mentioned offhandedly, but Boris had to admit some time in September that whatever illicit ties Everett Craven had to the Capulets when it came to his dealings in America, the man kept them wound up tight. He’d been impressed. Instead, they set their eyes on the future: Damiano speaks to him of the failures and successes, trials and tribulations, and Boris takes note of the way his brow knits together when he speaks.

It is like Damiano cannot bear to look at him, but is forcing himself to anyway. Surely his betrayal had not burned so badly. It wouldn’t have left a mark.

Valentina Gallo died for less. She didn’t give nearly as much away. She’d given what she had to give. Boris had given Evgeny everything, and then offered the grounds of the coffee to Damiano in return.

Boris is lucky to be alive, seated across from a man he might have once considered a better father than his own, who looks at him with poorly-veiled discuss and tells him what to do. Boris had sold his soul – this might just be the devil’s recompense.

It doesn’t matter, he tells himself, watching the city pass them by, nodding where appropriate and watching the sun rise over the river as they drive alongside it. If he gets his way, Damiano Montague will be sooner dethroned, and Brutus will have his rightful place as second-in-command to some poorer, less competent man. If he is anything, it’s stubborn. They drive by the Castelvecchio, and he’s saddened to see it is still a work in progress, not at all the shining beacon it had once been of unity or pride within a place being torn in two, right down the middle. He feels a pang of something hit him in his chest. Homesickness? He’s home, but—

Boris’ flat is small, modest, tucked away in an alley. Close enough to the library that he can be there within minutes just by walking, if necessary. All the pedestrians on the street avert their eyes when they see Damiano’s car pull up outside. He grabs the one bag he’d taken with him on the plane: he’s hopeful the rest will arrive within the week, but that’s an if at best. Before he slips out, Damiano clears his throat.

He stops, and finds a single piece of paper pressed into his hand. He can only assume what it is, won’t open it – it’s deliberately folded closed. It could be anything: a name, a number, a place, a threat, a promise.

“When you’re ready,” Damiano murmurs, like some sort of sick joke, which is to say that it will be when he asks, because Boris ceded any hope at control over his own life the minute he sold all he possessed to the Russian mob, heart and mind and soul, only to crawl back to Verona just after. Some might’ve called him a fool, but he’d only seen the future, then. If only others could see the eclipsing horizon always in his sight.

It’s here that Boris is left: a small alley, out of sight of the rest of the world, the morning sun shining on his face. The future in his hand. He opens it before he has the chance to breathe in again, the vitriol in his heart already beginning to sear out through his ribcage.

Extras: N/A

#accepted: brutus #accepted

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quicktelling-blog · 5 years ago

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Amira’s Vanished Hustle, Perceptions of Missed Opportunities, and What Everyone Should Consider About the Story So Far

[deep dive under the cut]

Some messages I got over the weekend were along the lines of: “No Damira again on Friday whew you must be heartbroken huh?” But, y’all, I wasn’t surprised. And to be completely honest, my reaction on Friday was very different from the ones I saw in the tag. Yeah, I was super happy for the adorable Amira and I was also side-eying the glaring absence of Carlos’s besties at his own housewarming -- but my main thought after the clip was: “LOL OH SHIT HERE WE GO.” Because in my mind Friday was an ENORMOUS RED FLAG that the only substantial thing left to do in Amira’s story arc is the cute Bon Voyage party to send her off on her dream trip. Even before this big POV shift happened, Druck hadn’t given us any reason to expect much more than that in her remaining plot, and I’ll elaborate on that here.

I don’t wanna jump to the conclusion that Druck can’t possibly stick the landing, because hey, they might! We have no clear idea what will happen between now and the final goodbye party, so maybe good things are coming that will subvert all of our worst imaginings! But I feel like this is a hinge point in the season to do a little reassessing of expectations... and to come clean about one big reason why I’ve mostly spoken superficially about this season up until now.

The very first red flag, for me, was when I realized Druck was planning to basically pretend Amira never had a job. That oversight might not seem like a big deal to most, and it’s not like her job was the first thing Druck ever made disappear unceremoniously (remember when Leonie and Sara had other close girl friends? lol) but to me it was a signal that my expectations for Amira’s story (based on her previous strong characterization) had maybe been too high. And I immediately felt a bit cheated.

Amira was already so fleshed out coming into her season. She was demanding, quick-witted, and nurturing. She was fiercely protective of her friends, and even more fiercely ambitious, with a willingness to work harder than anyone to get ahead in life. She was sunny but tough-shelled, with a well-established resistance to trusting any men. And, loving her as much as I do, I felt strongly that she deserved to have plenty of brand new story elements that reflected all those things. To have her own story shaped around her, rather than she herself being reshaped to fit Sana’s story.

But then it was finally her turn to shine, in a Summer season, when it would make perfect sense for her to be on a job grind to earn cash for her trip, and... she’s not working? Huh? She managed to work all through a tough school year, but not her free summer vacation? Why? Because of Druck’s low budget? Because they lacked cohesion in the writing process? Some combination of the two? Yikes. Who knows. But suddenly, nonsensically, they had flushed away the perfect framing to showcase her work ethic, her daily perseverance, and her varied interactions (good and bad) with lots of strange customers around Berlin.

It felt like a bad omen to me somehow. Which wasn’t a great mindset to start the season with. And that was the beginning of me trying very, very hard not to be confused and salty about every little thing I began to perceive as missed opportunities to give Amira a new kind of substance in her story.

For example: While David, Matteo, and Sam began having fun off-screen, working on an bold alien movie, Amira inexplicably had no involvement. She kinda scoffed at the idea when it came up on-screen, then immediately lost interest in the conversation because her man was texting. Fair enough, right? That scene was moving her story forward while generously giving a little shoutout to the meta insta storyline, right? The problem is: the off-screen story ended up seeming much more interesting than watching Amira chilling on her own texting a bunch, and we weren’t even given a reason for her to not be part of it after the whole crew was invited to join in. Imagine if we had followed her onto a shitty little makeshift movie set and seen her reacting to the chaos and strangeness of it. Imagine her finding a resourceful solution to a production hiccup or mediating a creative disagreement while trying to hide her own inner turmoil from her friends. And imagine her having an extremely important conversation with David (and/or Matteo and/or Sam) about the film’s deeper themes of alienation and otherness that they can both sadly relate to.

That’s just one weirdly specific scenario, but there are sooo many other ways I fantasized about Amira bonding with her friends (particularly the ones who aren’t cishet white kids or brand new characters). Talking with one or more of them about what it means to be dangerously marginalized, or to be afraid of letting someone get close to you, or to feel torn in two different directions in life. Maybe something like that could still happen before the season ends, but I’m not counting on it. And I think the time has passed for it to have the biggest impact. It could’ve been amazing (and really narratively useful!) if it happened before the resolution of Amira’s brief conflicts with Kiki, Erva, and Mohammed. We saw a lot of scenes with her looking angry and sad, but we weren’t really privy to much of her thought process during all that reflection, so it felt uncomfortably unearned when problems she once saw as insurmountable were shortly waved aside. I would’ve really appreciated even a short conversation with some good change-of-heart exposition.

And while other people were cheering about all the controversial Sana season conflicts being blessedly truncated or completely stripped away, the whole time I couldn’t stop thinking: “Okay, awesome, but what are they gonna replace that storyline with? Nothing?” And, for the most part, that seemed to be true.

But the problem clearly wasn’t limited to a shortage of well-integrated story threads with Amira at their center. It was arguably also a failure to capitalize on the stories they did use. Instead of getting to watch the emotional fight with her mother about punching someone, and witnessing Amira faced with the threat of losing Australia, we only heard about the drama afterward. Just like we only heard about her family’s religious holiday together. Just like we only got a few texts between Amira and Jonas about the refugee event. And just like how, as I sat typing this, Amira’s mother re-blessed the trip off-screen. On and on goes the list of examples of this unfortunate tell-don’t-show approach, and I’m sure a lot of it can be attributed to low budget and tricky cast scheduling, but the time limit excuse probably doesn’t apply if Amira’s main plot really has been efficiently pared down to 7 episodes.

Don’t get me wrong, I want to reserve final judgment on the season until the credits roll, and there are plenty of good things to say about it in the meantime. Yes, it’s been lovely to see so many gorgeous shots of Tua praying, and boxing, and expressing everything from attraction to anguish to helpless rage. Yes, she and Hassan both did some really strong work selling the magnetic pull between their characters, even in the face of (what I consider to be) an underdeveloped narrative that didn’t totally sell me on the relationship overall. Yes, it was wonderful to have some aesthetically pleasing scenes of the girl squad loving and supporting each other, even if they mostly talked about boys the way Amira hoped they wouldn’t. And obviously just having a story about a strong, kind, devoted hijabi girl is vitally important visibility. So I really haven’t wanted to say anything negative in the face of all that...

... but now I have to say: if you’re feeling cheated and mad about the POV shift, then take some time to consider what else specifically you think should’ve happened to Amira before we entered this resolution phase of her story. It seemed like most people were perfectly happy for her to not face any complex conflict, and not have any lingering hardship to dramatically and triumphantly overcome. Every obstacle getting a relatively swift and easy solution felt underbaked to me, but it was a big relief and source of praise for most people in the tags right up until Amira disappeared from clips. So: in hindsight, how would you have added not just length, but also more compelling drama and greater social impact to her story, so that the extra length felt well-used? It’s really worth thinking and talking about that, even if you’re hesitant to voice any criticism of Amira’s part of the story (even after the season ends, and even if it’s totally constructive) -- because thinking and talking about it is how we’ll get that kind of richer, fuller story in the future.

#druck #amira thalia mahmood #representation #storytelling #amira baby i love you and you deserve the world okay #that's been at the core of my issues all season

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laduree · 4 years ago

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Living Room

I passed out on video chat in the beginning of the month when I was celebrating my birthday at my sister’s place. Part of the reason why I passed out was because I was very stoned, but another part is due to the fact that I apparently can’t handle surprises well. My parents were both very worried and agreed that I should come home for the holidays because I’d booked off two weeks at work. Initially, I was supposed to spend the holidays alone in my apartment which really upset me because it had already been two months since I’d seen my parents -- my dad tested positive for COVID back in October. He was asymptomatic which is really good because he’s considered high risk. I’ve been home since last Tuesday and it’s weird not having my own room in their house anymore. I’ve missed my dad’s cooking so much and food really hits different when you’re not the one making it.

A knew that I was really depressed about not being able to spend Christmas at home. He was actually pretty sweet and said we could spend it together before he drove down to spend the holidays with his mom and stepdad. I know that this is the bare minimum of kindness to have extended towards me, but I do appreciate that he tries. When I found out that my dad tested positive A asked me if I wanted to talk about it over the phone which I really appreciated. I don’t know. I’m not saying that no one has ever been kind to me in previous romantic relationships, I think this just feels different because I’m actually receptive.

I was on the fence about getting A anything and last minute I decided to get him an Amazon gift card with a Christmas card. I didn’t know what else to get him because he’s said that he usually doesn’t ask for anything. I wanted to get him oil paint or pens and markers because he’s been working on his art a lot. I just didn’t want to get him a brand that he might not like which he’d end up returning. He asked me for my address a few weeks ago and I thought that he was going to send me a Christmas card. When he came over last week he ended up telling me that he was waiting on a package to be delivered to my apartment because he got me something for Christmas. He wouldn’t tell me what it was, so I’m very curious. I really didn’t expect anything -- all I wanted was to see him. With all of that said, even though it took me a really long time to spit it out I did ask him if he was my boyfriend. And he did laugh at me because he knew what I was going to ask, but he wanted me to say it. His answer was maybe which wasn’t really a let down for me because I haven’t had any expectations. I think everyone else in my life has labelled this, but I haven’t because I don’t know what I want. I just know that I like him.

The conversation was weird in that he asked me a question that I didn’t expect. He asked me if it would hurt my feelings if he wanted to talk to other people. And I was honest when I told him that I would feel bummed about it. He told me that he wouldn’t talk to anyone if he knew that it would hurt me, but I told him that regardless of what I felt he should talk to whoever if that was what he wanted. I let him know that I still haven’t been on the app because I didn’t feel the need to and he countered that by saying there’s more than one app which lolz I haven’t been on anything since the end of summer. I did tell him that if he felt the need to talk to anyone else I’d appreciate it if he would just let me know if it came to that. I didn’t ask him what his expectations were here, but I do know that he still considers this ‘fresh’ which I think is a fair assessment. I also know that he isn’t talking to anyone else right now, so I don’t know if that question was to somehow prepare me if that’s what he chooses to do. I’m not trying to lock him down into anything right now. If I end up in a situation where I like him more than he likes me and we just end this I can accept that. At the end of the day, I’m not going to change who I am to keep him interested. In the past I would’ve felt extremely insecure about this, but I do know that despite how psychotic I may be I’m still enough.

I spoke to my therapist about that conversation. Not because it was bothering me, it was more about giving her an update about our current status. We do a lot of things that couples seemingly do without a label and for right now that’s okay. My therapist said that if I don’t figure out what it is that I want and/or set any expectations I run the risk of losing A because I’m going far too slow to fully see this through. She also said that if I go too fast I’ll overwhelm myself, so I need to find a proper middle ground. I’ve been reflecting a lot about what I want and I still don’t really know. I know that I’m going to have to talk to A about this again, but I’m not sure when that will come up. I’m just going to keep doing what I’m doing. I know that he’s not trying to fuck with my head and play games. Surprisingly, I’ve been very rational and unemotional about what he’s said. And to be quite honest, that conversation hasn’t really changed the way that either of us have behaved. That same night I fell asleep holding his hand and when we woke up in the morning he complained about how it was too early to leave. And I know part of the reason why he said that was because he wanted enough time to fuck which is fine because I was thinking the same thing. When I walked him out I hugged and kissed him goodbye. We’ve been texting everyday. He still sends me memes and pictures of random things he’s found or is working on. I sent him a stupid picture of my ass and I’ve been pretty overt about my interest in him which he has been receptive to. Although, he is a man so it’s not really hard for him to be receptive. And it’s very weird because he’s not gross at all in the typical way that guys are -- I’m not just saying this because I like him. He’s weirdly respectful.

All of this to say, I like him a lot and part of me is still finding it very hard to accept being vulnerable. I’m very soft with him in a way that is not natural for me. I told myself that if I’m still seeing him within the next six months and we still haven’t put a label on this I’m going to have to really get my shit together. My therapist says that six months is a long time to come to that decision, so if I do realize what it is that I want then maybe it’ll be sooner than that. The problem with being single for so long is that it’s strange for me to consider myself with anyone romantically. I know that technically I’m romantically involved with A, but I haven’t claimed his as anything other than a guy that I’m dating. I don’t know how to navigate through this at all.

#personal

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littleeyesofpallas · 5 years ago

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BLEACH - Sternritter Schrift

The Viability (ザ·バイアビリチ → Za Baiabirichi)

生存能力 = 生存 → “Existance”/”Survival,” 能力 → “Ability”/”Faculty”/”Capacity”

This was the eventual explanation of Shaz Domino’s The V power, given to him by Gremmy as one of his creations. But it’s ability basically granted him the power to survive without Gremmy’s direct influence, and it gave way to another new power, which I’ll get to at the end of this...

This wasn't technically the doing of Kubo, this was something Ryohgo Narita in the short story Beginning of the Revive of Tomorrow, in the 13 BLADEs bata book. But he does tend to play ball with Kubo’s overall style and sensibilities pretty well. (although not always)

The Wind (ザ・ワインド → Za Wain’do)

紆余曲折 = 紆 → “Roundabout,” 余 → “Too Much,” 曲折 → “Winding”/“Twisting & Turning”

Specifically there the modifying/modified pair is 紆余 → “Too Roundabout” as 余 is a suffix.

This one was actually one of my favorite Sternritter powers. Even though it’s a pretty straight forward idea without much obtuse interpretation of boundaries to contend with, I liked how it affected the physical world in a seemingly nonsense way but via a very clear abstract concept: Make things twisted. So the spacial warping was a lot of fun. Shame Nianzol died so quickly.

The X-Axis (ジ・イクサクシス → Zi Ikusakushisu)

万物貫通 = 万物 → “All things” 貫通 → “Pierce”/“Penetrate”

It weirds me out everytime i try to read it that Kubo mashed the phonetics of “X” and “Axis” together, because I feel like it should make more sense to pronounce/write more like イクスアクシス → ikusu-akushisu; emphasizing the “EX-AX...” and not sounding like “Exacts...”

Funny enough Kubo actually made a typo in the original magazine print that had to be fixed for the book release. He wrote it as 石物貫通, 石 → “Stone” rather than 万 → “10,000”/”Myriad”/”All,” and in both cases 物 → “Thing(s).”

I really wonder if Kubo had this one in mind early on or if he had to come to the realization halfway into the arc that he had extremely limited options for X. It’s actually a really cool idea for a power considering what he had to work with.

The Yourself (ジ・ユアセルフ → Zi Yuaserufu)

貴方自身 = 貴方 → “You,” 自身 → “One’s Self”

Honestly given what an abstract and grammar specific concept this is you’d think there’d have been a more complicated wordplay to it or something, but no, it’s super super straight forward somehow.

Worth nothing, if it hadn’t already been super obvious, the brothers Loyd Lloyd and Royd Lloyd have perfectly identical names in Japanese, both: ロイド・ロイド → Roido Roido, and when their back story comes up it has to be specified Rのロイド・ロイド → “Roido Roido of R” and Lのロイド・ロイド → “Roido Roido of L.”

The Zombie (ザ・ゾンビ → Za Zon’bi)

死者 = “The Deceased“/”A Casualty“

Weirdly there’s no real word play here. And Japanese has a LOT of words for dead bodies: 骸, 遺骸, 遺体, 死体, 死骸, 死人, 屍, 躯, 惨死体, and others...

and there’s even the word 生ける屍, which specifically means “Living Corpse”

Also no apparently nods to Kubo’s original serial manga, Zombie Powder, which seems a missed opportunity given how often he’d salvaged bits and pieces of that work in Bleach. (Gremmy Thoumeux’s outfit is reminicent of Ranewater Calder’s original appearance, and Robert Accutrone is just one of several C.T.Smith clones Kubo has running around Bleach.)

The ς: The Sigma (シグマ → Shiguma)

聖傷 = 聖 → “Holy”/”Divine”/”Saint” and 傷 → “Injury”/”Scar”/”Wound”

Another one by Narita for the same short story as the above.

Funny enough he botched this one up because the word he was looking for in English is “Stigma” which generally refers to a mark of shame or disgrace put upon a person by social conventions, but also more classically refers to Catholic belief in otherwise unexplained marks matching the placement of the wounds from the crucifixion left on the palms and feet of christ that appear on devout Christians as a kind of sign from god. It’s taken from the Greek Stigmata(plural of stigma) στίγματα → “Marks”/”Spots”/”Brands.”

“Sigma” is just the Greek letter Σσ (ς final form) which has nothing to do with the word stigma. The fact that Narita appeared to use ς instead of Σ (which would make more sense given the formatting of the rest of the Schrift) might have been a deliberate play on the term “Final form” used to denote that ς is only used when sigma is the final letter of a word.(and not upper case)

Other Schrit posts: [A-E] [F-K] [L-Q] [R-V] [V-Z]

#bleach #bleach tybw #tybw #thousand year blood war #quincy #sternritter

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granddaughterogg · 6 years ago

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First time with the Horsemen part 2 - Death

This shit got extra long because I love my man so much, okay? Feel free to leave me nice comments, because I am pooped after writing this. The poem in question is by one Fyodor Tyutchev.

You never felt as courageous – and as stupid – as the night when you told him.

That...thing that you two had going on. It was for real, no second thoughts about it. But what was it that you had, exactly?

A friendship? Sure. But do all friends casually doze off in one bed, only to find themselves firmly embraced by their silent companion in the morning? Somehow you doubted it. (Death seldom slept at all. Time after time you’d wake up and look straight into that piercing stare of his. He had eyes like burning embers. You’d almost choke on your breath, while he’d simply unfurl his arms, letting you go. And then turn away and rise from the bed as if nothing really happened. You’d have to sit still for a long while and wait until your heart stops pounding. You never talked about this.)

More than friendship, then. A flirt? The Pale Rider was as apt in the frivolous art of romance as you were useful on the battlefield. Which means: not really.

Sure, you two exchanged a lot of playful banter. Also, there were times when he went out of his way to make you know that you’re appreciated. A kind note, tapering the usual wry edge in his voice. A firm hug (which always took you by surprise.) A long, thoughtful stare whenever you told him something personal. He would ruffle your hair or graze the small of your back while passing by. He made you tea. And his tea was nothing to wrinkle your nose at. Only Azrael brew better.

And yeah, there were also those brief, crazy moments after the hug...when you didn’t feel like breaking contact just yet. Being so close to him made your head swirl. So you kept embracing him, breathless, and he would trace your lower lip with the tip of his finger and then he would bend down and kiss you -

OK, maybe those were not so brief.

The kiss lingered every time it happened. Death was shockingly restrained in that matter. His lips covered yours with silent urgence that set your blood aflame, but he never did anything...wild.

Even though you wanted him to.

You yearned for his touch more and more with every passing day. Your fervent imagination produced would-be’s, one more outlandish than the last. Death tearing your top off, burying his sharp features in your cleavage. Death restraining both of your wrists with one hand, pinning you to the wall and covering your neck with bruising kisses. Knocking you down and ravishing you there and then…

Yeah.

I have to tell him, you reasoned with yourself while lying in bed back to back with the object of your deliberations. His pointy, protruding spine pleasantly grazed your own.

I really should. It’s not fair for him to not know.

But if he does...he might not even want me anymore.

He might shrug and say something to the effect of „that is not my problem.”

„Ugh. Seriously? What are you, like, fifteen?”

„Nah, you might get clingy afterwards.”

„I don’t want a virgin.”

You’ve heard this all before. You’ve been made to feel like a failure. Like somehow you’re less of a woman. As if your lack of sexual experience was an unwanted burden.

But then again...none of them arseholes literally went to Hell and back with you.

None of them protected you from hordes of savage demons. Time after time again. Heck, those dudes were so squeamish that sight of a used tampon made them whimper.

None of them were impressive, nigh-immortal entities well versed in carnage and caustic wit. Not like Death.

„Hey D”, you said with a strained voice. „You asleep yet?”

„I’m not.” How you loved that deep, raspy timbre of his. Everything he said sounded so purposeful.

And sexy as hell, yeah. That too.

„Can we talk?”

You expected one of those long, deep sighs. But when no one else was around, Death really toned down that aloof act of his. The bedsheets rustled as he turned to face you. It was almost dark in there (that lone candle that you left on flickered weakly by the window), but you could still make out the outline of his features. And his glowing eyes.

Darkness was not an obstacle for this one.

„What is it, girl?”

Girl. Death almost never used your name. He saved it for the most extreme circumstances. Like that one time when you were gravely injured and about to die. Or when he was about to die.

Be brave, you admonished yourself. He’s not gonna make it any easier for you.

You took a deep breath.

„Death. I want you to have me.”

He tilted his head. Those long black strands of hair moved ever so slightly.

„I mean, I want you to make love to me.”

Geez, that came out sounding pompous. Like a line from some romance novel.

„This could be arranged.” Was there a smile lacing his words? Yes, there was.

You exhaled abruptly and went on headfirst:

„The problem is, I haven’t had my cherry popped yet.”

„...cherry?”

You grunted. „Unused, brand new. Mint condition. You know. And I don’t have much of an idea how it’s supposed to go, you see, so this can be a problem and…

„Wait a moment.” His long, cool finger brushed your lips. „If you’ve never been with a man before, which is what I believe you’re trying to tell me… (you nodded vigorously), then how can you know that you want to do it with me?”

Urk, Death, this really ain’t the time to be logical, you thought.

„Well, for one, I think you’re sex on legs.”

He let out a chortle.

„What makes you feel that way is beyond me. And the first time is no trifle. You could really do much better, you know.”

Oh, here we fucking go.

„But I love you”, you blundered.

He inhaled sharply - and went quiet for what felt like forever. You bit your lip and endured the silence.

„I am...honoured”, he said softly. You waited for the inevitable „but” with bated breath.

Instead, he just added: „I had no idea that this was the case.”

„Well...you know now, dumbass.” You tried your damnedest to sound plucky, even though your voice was breaking.

Death must’ve heard that because his hand gently rested on your cheek. You pressed your face against it, eager for his touch.

He leaned in so close that his sharp nose grazed yours.

„Are you sure about this?”

„I am. There’s no one else in the whole world that I’d rather do it with.”

„Right now?”

„Yeah! I’m...I’m so done with waiting.”

„So be it.” That was nothing more than a tender whisper.

He held your face in his palms and kissed you. Gently - at first. You shut your eyes and weaved your fingers in his raven hair, tugging urgently at the nape of his neck. Death answered with a low grunt and went in with almost bruising force. You felt as if caught on a rollercoaster ride. His administrations sent a jolt down your spine, inflaming your soft, wanting insides.

He just kissed you on the lips, but your whole body lit up.

Then he kissed the soft skin under your jaw. Then your shoulder. Then the hollow of your neck. Then - that taut spot just below your collarbone.

You let out a weirdly high-pitched, tremulous sound.

He stopped what he was doing and shot you an alert glare.

„Are you all right?”

„Yeah...” You held his cheek with a slightly trembling hand. „I’m, like, really good here. Just...excited!”

His lips curled up with a smug expression.

„I appreciate that.”

Hi tugged tentatively on the collar of that old, stretched T-shirt that you always slept in. „That thing is in my way,” he murmured. You got goosebumps.

„Take it off me”, you gasped.

He did – in one swift movement. Suddenly you were naked under Death’s smouldering glare. He supported himself on an elbow and took all of you in. All the curves. All those little and not-so-little imperfections that you spent hours of your life agonising over.

Somehow it didn’t matter. For there was no disapproval in his eyes.

You’ve remembered that old Russian poem called The Dull Flame of Desire and finally understood exactly what that means. Death’s sight went somewhat darker while still being fiery.

He covered your body with kisses; on your breasts, on your soft stomach, on the taut skin of the hip. You could tell where this was going, but his deliberate lack of rush made your blood boil.

„D, don’t taunt me like that. I can’t take it”, you pleaded.

He let out a little laugh and sucked on your nipples, one after another – and then grazed them with his teeth. Hard. You almost cried out of this strange sensation; pain mixed with sharp arousal. It was as if he tugged at some string hid deep inside you. Your nether regions got wet.

Like, wetter than before.

Death must’ve had eyes at the back of his head too because he noticed. He lifted you up and sat you on the bedsheets. One of his long arms curled possessively around you, moving up your back. The other one crept down, oh, so very down and started to play with your yearning entrance. He applied just the right amount of force, massaging your sweet spot and sliding two fingers up and down through your inner folds. You let out a shivering, helpless moan and felt utterly embarrassed. But the thought of stifling it left your mind once you looked up and noticed your lover’s expression.

He enjoyed your arousal. Judging from the half-lidded stare and that little smirk curling his lips, he savoured it. And that riled you up even more.

Death positioned himself just behind you so that you were sitting between his legs, his torso pressed tightly to your back. All this while not breaking pace. With his body so close, his lips caressing your neck and his knowing fingers entwined in your dripping pussy, both your mind and your body started to unravel.

„Wait,” you gasped. „Oh, wait, I’m gonna come...”

„Which was the purpose all along,” he murmured in your ear.

„Death, you stop right now and listen to me.”

He did. You turned your head and looked him in the eye with as much resolve as you could muster while being a quivering, breathless, horny mess. You wanted him so much that it hurt.

„I want you so much that it hurts. But not like that. I want to lose my virginity properly. All the way. Like, on a dick.”

„You do realize that there is no such thing as a proper way, right?” Death tilted his head, lift his tainted hand to his lips and licked it – almost absentmindedly. His eyes flickered. „What do you know. You’re tasty.”

„Thanks. I do know that there is no proper way”, you said. „But I don’t care. I just...just take me already!...”

„This is going to hurt.”

You all but shrugged.

„Yeah, I reckon.”

Death shook his head – his black hair flipped - and let out a small, amused sigh.

„I honestly don’t know what to admire more; your utter recklessness or your sex drive”, he said with a playful snicker.

„It’s easy for you because you’re like, all calm and detached!” you snapped.

Death’s grip closed around your waist and flipped you on your back. It took him about two seconds tops to pin you to the mattress. Your breath hitched. Suddenly you were immobile, covered with that large, muscular body of his, which smelled like dead leaves under November rain. Mixed with a sharp tinge of arousal.

You could feel how hard he was, pressing urgently against your wetness. Oh god.

You moaned.

„I. Am. Not. Calm.” Each word was like a bark, his eyes wide, burning with something feral. „Neither. Am I. Detached.”

You laughed breathlessly, gripped at his neck and pulled him into a vehement kiss. Your tongues entwined and your hips started a dance of their own, grinding on his.

He didn’t ask any more. Just took you as you wished to be taken.

You gave out a sharp cry. Death must’ve got only a few inches in, and you already knew what he was talking about. Nothing in the whole world could prepare you for this sensation. You felt as if your whole body is fighting against his, clenching around him so hard that it must have hurt.

„Breathe, girl” he whispered, looking at your strained expression with a mix of lust and worry; the strangest combination. „Just breathe deeply. Nose in, mouth out. Come on.” His fingers went between your bodies and started to circle slowly around your clit.

You breathed spasmodically as if your life depended on it. That vicious knot in your insides finally loosened up.

„There.” Death smiled. „Ready for more of that fun?”

„Ah-hah.”

The next thrust was long and fluid. Almost elegant. You could tell that he buried himself to the hilt in you.

You cried out again, but softer. You felt - stretched. Filled to the brim with his hardness, that indomitable presence that hurt you, but also kinda set you on fire. Discomfort and pleasure intertwined really closely here. You weren’t sure what that means.

„You’re all right?” Death leaned in, his thick black eyebrows knitted. What kind of self-restraint must this man possess to even care while he…

While he fucked you.

„I love you”, you gasped, feeling tears forming in your eyes. „I love you. Go on. Possess me.”

„Ah, so you like pain. How interesting.”

He moved back and forth, back and forth until all the pain faded away and there was only pleasure left. A strange, unknown kind of pleasure, so harsh and feral, different from everything that you’ve ever experienced while playing with yourself. But a pleasure nonetheless. It grew in leaps and bounds until you moaned so much that your throat got hoarse. You could get used to this.

Death knew. He swayed you in a calm, steady rhythm while covering your mouth and neck with kisses. He breathed a little heavier than usual, but not one uncontrolled sound has left his lips. You wondered if that’s how he always is.

You wondered what it takes to make this man cry from pleasure.

Cause you were wailing.

„Don’t stop this time, okay?..” you gasped between the moans, pressing your chapped lips to his ear. That stare that he shot you was debauchery incarnate.

„I don’t intend to,” he whispered. „Go on. Come for me.”

The wave of delight came crushing over and sunk your mind with its sticky sweetness. But before you went there, you heard Death say your name.

#darksiders #darksiders2 #darksiders lemon #lemon fic #first time fic #death/reader #darksiders death #reader is a virgin #and death pops their cherry #it got romantic #shit happens #death x reader

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boredom-thingy · 5 years ago

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TL;DR- I have been sorta kinda diagnosed with Executive Function disorder (psychologist said it was very very very likely that I was suffering from it, but he couldn’t do anything) and I think I’m emotionally abused by my parents. I’m still trying to figure out whats what and what problem comes from where and if I can life hack it. I’m looking for help and/or other people suffering from the same things to add to the list. This is my list of symptoms.

Hey, all of you out there who struggle with executive function disorder or have been emotionally abused, or both. I have sorta been diagnosed with EFD and I think I’m being emotionally abused (I could be wrong and over reacting, I honestly can’t tell). Its been a while but I’m slowly discovering more and more symptoms that I thought were normal or scared the shit outta me (and still do) originally. Here’s an incomplete list, mind agreeing or disagreeing with them and adding your own? And/or how you deal with them?

My Incomplete (and ever growing) List-

Time. My sense of time is off, sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. There are times when I think something happened 2 months ago when in reality, it happened years ago. I can be left home alone and when my parents get home and ask me what I did for hours on end, I have zero clue, its just a blank hole. I lose track of time extremely easily too.

Other Disorders. I often feel like my particular brand of screwyness happens to combine other mental illnesses/disorders like insomnia, depression, anxiety, adhd, add, odd, and paranoia among others

Depersonalization/derealization(dissociation). Especially here recently, I think I’ve been suffering from episodes of Depersonalization-derealization disorder. Its happened in the past but not as much as right now.

I feel like I’m going insane. Constantly. I feel like I’m over-reacting to everything, like everything is in my imagination.

I always feel like I’ve done something wrong/upset people. People I don’t know, people I do know, people I love. I always feel like I’ve upset them or I’m some kind of burden or I’ve done something wrong. (Leads to me apologizing to a chair for hitting it.)

Extreme clumsiness. This one is prolly just me. But its often a source of anxiety for me.

Social skills are next to nothing. I can’t make friends. All the ones I have were introduced to me by other people or approached me on my own. And most of the time they end up ditching me and telling me its my fault. Also, my timing is shit. I’ll walk up and ask you for something while you're busy.

Cotton. I feel like my head is full of cotton, like I can’t think straight. My thoughts are either spaghetti or a train wreck. I lose track of what I was thinking extremely easily.

Memory. My memory is shit. My parents claim its not, and I feel like it didn’t used to be, but it is now. I forget how to do something when I read or heard the instructions 10 seconds earlier. I forget things that are important to me, things that I wanted to get or do. I forget when things happened (ties in with the time issue.) I can’t remember important life events, or more accurately, I can remember them, but the memory seems weirdly muddled and I cant remember when it happened.

Food. I love food. But there are times when I’m light-headed and dizzy, and I know I should eat, but I just... Don’t want to. The thought makes me nauseous, its too hard to get up, I’m not actually feeling hungry (despite the fact that I can hear my angry tummy and I can feel the light-headed/dizziness), etc.

Being left alone (especially with not much to do). I don’t fear abandonment (ok I do a little, but that not the problem here.) I fear my own brain. I hate being left alone, especially for long periods of time because when I run out of things to keep my mind occupied, all those thoughts I forced to go away come steam rolling back. Intrusive thoughts, suicidal thoughts, self harm thoughts, extremely depressing thoughts, disturbing thoughts that scare me witless, thoughts of running away, etc. I can’t stand my own brain. It scares me.

Motivation. I go to school online, 4.1 gpa (so far) and I am a fairly self motivated person. But there are times when I can barely find the motivation to grab my glasses off the nightstand 2 inches from my face and other times when I’m motivated to do something, I’m almost in a frenzy, and I’m hyper-focused on it. And there are times when I really want to do something (usually something that I love, like a hobby) but the thought of doing it makes me nauseous and I just don’t want to. Or if its a creative thing, like writing, I can’t seem to form a single idea or spark to get me started. My brain nopes out and I can’t do anything but stare at the paper, desperately wanting to write, but my brain is a bout as blank as the paper is.

Body-brain disconnect. Sometime my body and my brain seem to be on separate wavelengths. I want to stop scrolling through pinterest, but I can’t seem to make myself. I want to get up and eat, I know I need to, but I can’t make myself. I want to get up and do dishes or take a shower or do something, but my body just wont move. I want to go do something fun, like watch tv or draw, but I’m no moving, no matter how much I want it.

Pain. I am always in some kind of physical and/or mental pain. Headaches(near constant dull headache), back aches(always), cramps even when no where near that time(I am female), random muscle twitches/spasms/aches, etc. Oh and nausea. I’m nauseous a LOT. I also am light-headed or dizzy (or both) a lot.

Extreme mood swings. I go from being so happy I could burst to emotionally shut down and sobbing in the corner in the blink of an eye. I go from being so pissed off that I want to slam my fist through a wall and break things to being so depressed I want to kill myself and repeatedly slam my head against the wall until I can’t see straight. I also sometimes get extremely frustrated/angry with the smallest things, like a noise, or something not working right, or the pets being annoying. Sometimes it gets to the point where I want to scream and break something or hit something (I never do and try my absolute hardest not to.)

Morbid thoughts. Fleeting morbid thoughts, generally about somehow injuring/harming myself. I might see a light socket and think “oh hey, you should stick a fork in that and see what happens” or I might see a pair of nail clippers or scissors and think “I wonder what would happen if I tried to cut x-spot on my body with those.” When I was younger, I used to want to sew patterns in my skin with a sewing needle and thread (never did, thank god) so they would scar over and create neat patterns on my skin.

War. I feel like I'm at war with my own brain, I talk to myself a lot. (I am an only child with parents that run their own business ((making them constantly busy)) so that is very possibly a reason I talk to myself. I also have very few friends and I talk to walls and my two dogs as well.) I tell my brain to shut up, to stop it, I feel like it has a mind of its own. Thats weird to say. (woooooo I'm totally crazy, right?)

Apologies. I apologize to literally everything. And about everything. I’ll apologize to a chair for bumping it. I apologize to my boyfriend when I rant to him or ask for help from him. I apologize for anything and everything, small or big. The bigger the issue, the more embarrassed and upset I am about it. Even if its not big to the other person. Ties in with always feeling like I did something wrong.

Defense. I am always on the defense, and sometimes it turns into offense. I always feel like I have to defend myself and everything I do or say that might have even the smallest chance of upsetting someone. And if I know it has or will upset someone, I defend myself more, to the point that it sometimes becomes offense. I can’t stop myself, I feel like I have to defend myself or I’m going to lose something or someone, or they’re going to take something I want or love away from me.

Noises and other various audio things. Sometimes I feel like I can just barely hear someone calling my name, or a song, or a noise, or something just barely audible, but no matter how much I search for it, I can’t find it. Other times I can quite clearly hear someone calling my name, but I’m home alone, or when I ask my parents or the other people around me, they respond with confusion and a “no one called your name.” Other time noises, like beeps from the printer, even when I’m the one causing it and/or I’ve heard it multiple times in the past few minutes, jar me. They cause a jarring sensation, that is almost bone deep, I feel it in the back of my skull and it causes me to jump just a little.

All of these things are terrifying to me at various levels and they only seem to be getting worse. I study psychology for fun, I plan on going into it as a profession, eventually. I have done research on most of this, but I can’t find much on any of it (except emotional abuse), especially executive function disorder. Please help? (I am always adding to things when I think of more.)

@bradshore @katimorton @we-care-org

#executive function disorder #emotional abuse #help #psychology #dissociation #incomplete

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unproduciblesmackdown · 5 years ago

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some random numbers: 1, 3, 6, 15, 23, 31, 35, 40. give me ur ungodly long answers.

lmaooo YES brevity whom......i cannot be concise

1) favorite videos?

i sure spent 2010 - 2014 enjoying youtube horror interpersonal-drama series marble hornets, those are a good time. and here in the future you and i both know there is just a wellspring of wrol-related Video Content out there, god damn, i really love so many of them.....in between that there’s sure been a lot of fun and funney videos and like, some Artistique ones i like to revisit [or have disappeared :( ] but i always like to promote this Wuthering Heights one. i love it. oh lol!!!! and the uh, Skate 3 Glitch compilations!!! so so funny

3) favorite memes?

i think Deep Fried Memes are fun all the time lol. the Youtube Meme of “___ but ____” is a lot of fun OH YEAH steamed hams was awesome too. the 24601 Releases A Sammich On Parole ytp is priceless......this is just turning into favorite videos again lmao. vine as a meme and a whole

6)favorite mixes?

you know i never really made or used playlists lol!!!! i will just be like, in the mood for certain songs or else like “i want to listen to music but....which ones”.....i say i can never be concise and all of these answers turning out short lol. it’s not b/c i’m Concise but b/c like, i don’t know what Favorites i have and i don’t have a memory that works without Direct Reminders of Specific Things so i’m just failing to like, come up with the info in the first place smh

15) favorite fictional characters?

here we go lol i can answer this one cuz when i have a fave rave it’s rare and like, easier to remember cuz i do not Go Hard about it that often.....weirdly for the first few years of The Decade i did’t really have such certain faves.....i was def enjoying some characters, as i always do, but nothing like super standout. then in ‘11 or ‘12 or whatever i was like oh hey, ed from cowboybeboy.......and then just had like, the solo experience of me humoring myself w/ that. bit of an usual one b/c a lot of the characters i Really latch on to will tend to be kinda roughly similar in ways that maybe seem pretty at-first-glance levels of obvious, buuut idk she’s not That far off from my usual selections i guess lol. anyways then in 2014 i was like, time to go ham for lars. what a valuable time it was....what Fun we had.....truly tho! and then another interval later it’s 2016 and for similarly (relatable characters of roughly the same cut) i was like, well here i am having a great time re: kip, all while getting to generously use of my fave shade of blue and fangs central and all that fun stuff. and then another interval later the Eventual Unfolding of what started innn 2017 i guess occurs, and it’s late 2018, and i’m like, time to look into Jared Kleinman b/c just from reading the wikipedia summary that didn’t mention him all that much i could tell this was probably a character i’d go ham for for predictable reasons, and the vague interest in that has stuck with me for the past little-over-a-year......and then i was Completely right lol. deh? well that’s just Bonus Jared Lore, to me (though of course alana in her own right is a great and similarly underappreciated character. rights)....and then of course i’ve had a lot of fun with pretty much each and every Wrol Role lmao.......Very fond of jeremy, and also christine, and bmc just has really enjoyable and interesting characters all over the place. and of course, here i am, Extremely #about winston quantbillions as another certified fave rave, really. call it classic!!!

[[answered both 23 and 31 prior, actually.....words were typed....]]

35)a random memory you remember with strange clarity?

tough one because lol a fair amount of “you recorded this memory in a fair amount of detail” is due to increased levels of unpleasantness / stress / discomfort, and if it’s also “i remember this b/c it was Nice” then i wouldn’t call that Strange clarity lol, and Random Memory like “just pull one up from the ol memory bank” is like, god, i wish it were that simple........but give me a min.

oh yeah i had a High Time of it when pokemon go came out (only pokemonn game i have ever played lol) coz there was like, this stretch of Landmarks stops that started at this garden and went along this waterfront / connected park forrr maybe like a half mile stretch? ideal territory and people would actually like, come from out of town to partake in it lol. and i’d Download podcast eps on my phone from my work’s wifi and just like, in the evening listen to that or music and just like, walk and do this shit. i had like five or six gyaradoses at one point cuz i guess the riverside nature of it meant they wanted to throw all these magikarp at you (there Were carp, also! one of the parks had a koi pond.) and like, there were just all these people around doing it along with you, even that late at night and in the early AM hours, so it was fairly social even if u weren’t there with a group or talking with anyone (though there was Camaraderie like, oh hey just so you guys know, there is a ____ over by the boat.) and it was just an interesting Walk with several things to look at and routes to take. and one time in a weird Dead Of Night time like 1am there was this like, smallish cruise ship docked that actually Set Off. and like, a bunch of us randos were just standing there and watching this unfold. this isn’t a very good Clear Random Memory but if i tried to think of a good one, god only knows how long it’d take me lol

40)an important personal revelation?

oh jeez this has really been a decade with lots of the unfortunate combo of “stuff that is a bummer but also boring” lol.......a benefit of getting to spend more time than not Away From The Parents’ House was like, oh sweet, having this perspective for long enough finally leads me to the conclusion of why i hate this......B/c It Is Bad. oh yeah and then there was also conclusively figuring out early in the decade like oh right, i’m trans, that makes sense.......other layers of Gayassedness like oh, more specifically i’m nonbinary, oh yeah and like, i’m not straight, call that queer and/or bi and/or also Gay......bein grey ace like a champ, and aromantic like, oh yeah i’m not like, fucking up at being a person somehow and Letting People Down by not wanting to date them (i mean besides rando cishet men. they can be let down regardless).....and just like, this ongoing process of getting the space to b figuring out myself and what i like For myself in alll kinds of ways....even up till now with the “oh yeah ive been a theatre gay all my life lmaooo” bit that’s like, totally obvious but just like, i didn’t much have the reason to even look at the would-be obvious stuff from the right perspex till now. and it’s pretty fun to realize a Lifelong Area Of Big Interest like that, cuz those sorts of things can feel elusive. and then also unfortunately a lot of the decade has involved like, “oh my self-esteem is so fucked that it’s circling back around and i’m appreciating and valuing myself and that i deserve decent treatment and Not bad shit,” which was a crappy process obviously lol but it was nice when i did start to get there, and making further progress on that front. im not dead certain when i was like “hmm...am autistic” b/c that was definitely a really ongoing process of figuring that out lol, but when / as i did it’s definitely a series of “oh hahaha this is why i’m like This or why i do This or feel like This about This!!” and it’s really easy to learn a totally Brand New Thing all the time abt bein autistic where it’s like Oh #Me!! coz yknow. the info By and For autistic ppl is not always widely available and known of. love that for us

#thank u!!! and thanks for the End Of Decade Ask Meme in the first place lol #cockbiteproductions

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phil-fiction · 6 years ago

Text

Serious Business

Summary: Dan always thought Phil looked good in a suit

Word Count: 3.6k (holy fucking shit)

Tags: Smut, finally. Role playing? Bottom!Dan, Top!Dom!Phil. Businessman!Phil kind of, Secretary!Dan kind of, Aftercare.

A/N: First time writing smut. Don’t be nice, I know it’s extremely horrible. I sometimes find it weird writing it? I’m sure I’ll grow out of it, tbh. Also the role playing? Idk what I’m doing man. Anyway,enjoy! (Excuse me if I made any mistakes!)

- Runa

Everyone knew both Dan and Phil were socially inept. It was them and it was a significant part of their separate brandings. They had hard times properly functioning physically and mentally during social situations. It was almost inevitable for them to act as maladroit while in public or when the situation has to do with socializing. However, they two did have certain situations where they would most definitely take the lead.

Dan is a rather talkative person, whereas Phil is more reserved and laid-back, overall quiet. Dan mostly takes it upon himself to carry out a conversation while trying to be socially friendly and trying his best not to fuck up when speaking. The meet and greets during the tour is an example of those situations. Dan kept the conversation and friendly vibe in order for no one to feel too awkward while Phil’s overall welcoming vibe could put anyone at ease. Dan’s specialty was just talking, even if he made a complete fool out of himself. He enjoyed taking the lead in circumstances such as these and takes pride at how well he is able to withhold not being six feet filled with awkwardness.

Phil, however, took lead in more serious situations. Phil was a lot better at being professionally adept and puts more effort into more serious predicaments involving their personal lives. Phil finds himself somewhat proud of that, even liking the fact Dan considers it so “dad-esque”. Of course he enjoyed socializing for the fun of it, when he’s not being completely awkward, but he prefers to watch and listen rather than joining in. He enjoys doing the important adult stuff because he figures it made him feel a lot more mature and proficient at something at least.

Dan always found it attractive when Phil was being really serious and tried his best to be as professional as possible. He loved how serious his face would be or how stoic he would appear while dealing with serious situations. His voice would get deeper and his posture was all of a sudden straighter and he radiated a dominant energy that turned Dan on. It was almost like the attitude of a businessman and Dan couldn’t love it any more.

Phil as a businessman? How hot would that be?

Although they essentially are businessmen due to their careers, he would love to see how Phil would act if he ran his own business.

How would he look in a suit?

The thought alone sent a shiver down Dan’’s spine as he thought of Phil wearing a tailored suit, hugging him in all the right places and accentuating the broader parts of his body. He could imagine an expressionless face looking down upon him in a condescending way and it only excited him more.

He’d always thought about what it’d be like if Phil really was a businessman.

Would I be his sexy secretary?

That thought made him bite his lip. He imagined it vividly. Phil being the wealthy, handsome older man that he yearned for daily, and him being the sexy secretary Phil wanted to fuck on every surface.

He’d love for Phil to fuck him on every surface with his suit on. That was a vision.

I need to go shopping.

It wasn’t exactly easy keeping what he’d bought out of Phil’s sight. He really wanted to keep this a secret from him up until he was ready to do what he planned.

He really bought a suit to fulfill his Phil fantasy and he had absolutely no regrets about it. It was a generic suit consisting of black slacks, a white button up shirt and a black blazer, but he pictured that Phil would still make it work somehow with his body.

Dan waited until Phil came home from the store where he was picking a few necessities for around the house. He stayed in the living room until he came through the door, where he greeted his boyfriend.

“Hey, Bear. I couldn’t get any soy sauce because they sold out so I just got us some marshmallows instead,” Phil told Dan as he came through the door.

How did he manage to be so cute and sexy at the same time?

Without answering, Dan took the bags from Phil’s hands and kissed him on the lips.

“Go upstairs and look at what I left for you?” Dan mumbled against Phil’s lips. Phil raised an eyebrow at his boyfriend, curious as to how he suddenly was feeling affectionate and weirdly horny when they’d only had sex the night before. “Please?”

Phil nodded and followed his boyfriend’s orders, climbing up the stairs to their shared bedroom to see what Dan had left for him.

Dan left the bags in the kitchen and quickly gathered the outfit he had hidden behind the couch. He quickly undressed until he was completely nude and took out the first article of clothing, which was a white button up blouse which showed just a tiny patch of skin on his stomach. Subsequently, he pulled out a black pencil skirt that reached his mid thigh. He quickly slipped them on with a pair of black heels that he felt would probably give him a hard time, but decided to go through with it for the sake of his fantasy with his sexy boyfriend.

He took a deep breath before making his way upstairs towards his and Phil’s bedroom.

The clicking against the floor made Phil furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. They quickly raised as his eyes widened when he finally saw Dan dressed up in a pair of black high heels.

He was absolutely speechless as he stared at his boyfriend in awe.

“Glad to see you back, Sir,” Dan told him with a warm smile on his face.

Phil was always open to trying new things in bed and really didn’t mind fulfilling one of Dan’s fantasies. It was something that made their sex life so great and he wouldn’t even bother to complain. They always wanted to find out the things they were into and not into in order for them to improve their sex life and spice it up a bit more rather than plain vanilla.

Vanilla wasn’t horrible. It never hurt to be vanilla every once in awhile, but they loved going all out and doing different things in bed whenever they had something in mind.

“Glad to be back, Daniel,” he replied, his voice all of a sudden deeper and huskier.

Dan got closer to him and although he was taller than him, he still felt as though Phil could dominate him by looking at him. His suit fit as well as he expected and he really couldn’t wait to just get on his knees already.

“There wasn’t really much to get done when you weren’t around,” Dan spoke, his voice low and silvery.

“Oh, really? I’m sure there was something you could have done to keep yourself occupied,” Phil looked at Dan in his eyes, his voice all of a sudden a lot more serious, which caused Dan to get excited. Phil’s gaze alone made the boy’s knees exceptionally weak and he wasn’t sure how long he’d be able to keep this up even though they’d barely started.

“Not without your permission, Sir,” Dan breathed.

“Wise of you, Daniel. Wouldn’t want you doing something without my knowledge and approval now would I?”

“No, Sir,” Dan bit his lip.

“Hm, I-” Phil was cut off by the sound of his phone ringing in his front pocket. He attempted to ignore it but Dan insisted he answered.

“Go ahead, Sir,” Dan didn’t mind his phone rang as it gave him an idea to start what he initially wanted.

Seeing as Dan was still playing his role with no complaints, he simply answered the phone call, “Hello.”

Dan tilted his head as he watched his boyfriend deal with what seemed to be an important phone call regarding something to do with their moving situation, considering they were still looking for houses to move into together. He saw this as the perfect opportunity to not exactly sabotage his boyfriend, but to keep his fantasy in mind.

He leisurely got down onto his knees, looking at his boyfriend in his face the entire time. He withheld eye contact as he softly placed his palm atop of Phil’s protruding bulge, watching as his breath hitched.

“Yes, we were considering a few more places in London,” Phil continued to speak on the phone as he watched Dan on his knees palming his cock through his pants. He admired how beautiful Dan looked on his knees in front of him; big brown eyes staring right into his own, plump ass on full display, and delicate large hands toying with his hard on.

Dan decided to test Phil further by unbuckling the pants and relieving Phil’s cock from the tight prison. He was always mesmerized by the size of his boyfriend and never understood how he managed to take all of him. Mouth watering, Dan pressed an open-mouth kiss over his clothed member, admiring how his boyfriend’s head slightly tilted back as his eyes dropped slightly.

“W-we are sure of staying in London, it’s a great city, really,” Phil continued to speak as Dan continued to kiss over Phil’s crotch.

Tired of the foreplay, Dan finally pulled down Phil’s boxers, revealing his bare cock. Licking his lips in anticipation, Dan looked up at Phil dead in his eyes as he took the tip into his mouth, sucking eagerly.

Phil let out a subtle breath as his hips slightly bucked in Dan’s mouth. He almost didn’t catch onto what the person on the phone uttered to him regarding their housing situations. He watched as his boyfriend licked him from base to tip, tonguing the slit when he got to the tip and delicately wrapping his lips around him again, sinking halfway down his length.

Somehow, however, Phil managed to get out a steady sentence in a formal and professional manner.

He watched as Dan hallowed his cheeks as he sunk down further, feeling his boyfriend breathe on his pubic hairs which sent a shiver up his spine. He gripped Dan’s head full of already disheveled curls, holding his head in place as Dan subtly glided is tongue at the base of Phil’s dick.

“Uh, and h-how much would it be for that p-particular place?” Phil continued to question the person on the phone as he slowly pulled Dan off of his dick, keeping his curls in his grip. He roughly tilted his head up to look him in the eye, momentarily taking the phone from his ear and pressing his forefinger to his lips, indicating for Dan to be quite.

Phil presses his socked foot against the front of Dan’s now tight skirt, causing the younger man to let out a tiny gasp as his eyes rolled back. Yanking his head by is hair, Phil made Dan keep eye contact with him as he teased the boy on his knees with his foot.

Dan absolutely loved it when Phil got all dominant. Him in the suit just made him more attractive and Dan really wanted Phil to fuck the lights out of him.

Phil pressed his foot harder against Dan’s chafing erection. Dan leaned forward to take Phil into is mouth once more, softly humming at the fixation.

“Thank you so much. Goodbye,” Phil concluded his phone call and threw it on the bed across from him, pulling Dan off of his dick once again by his hair, causing a guttural moan to emit pass his lips. He ticked as he watched the boy beneath him, “that wasn’t very nice now what is, Daniel?”

Dan licked his lips and he shook his head in Phil’s hold, “N-No, Sir.”

“You know it is very impolite to interrupt me while I am working,” Phil patronized the boy as he ran his hand through his hair and a finger over his lips, his thumb getting caught between the younger’s lips, “I might have to punish you,”

The word alone sent Dan into a different stage of euphoria, “Yes, please,” he breathed.

“Go on, then,” Phil let go of Dan as he instructed him to go onto the bed, which Dan obliged to. He settled upon his wide spread knees and already weak arms as he waited for Phil to begin his “punishment”.

He could feel the coolness on his back from how damp it may be through the blouse he wore. Everything felt hot; hotter than usual. Phil made him feel so hot and he fucking lived for it.

He felt the bed dip behind him as he felt Phil’s body press up against him. He felt his bare cock against his still clothed ass and he so desperately tried to push back onto him, which earned him a harsh slap to the ass, causing him to let out a loud moan and collapse onto his chest, resulting in his back to arch even deeper.

Phil ran his hand over his ass, then his perfectly arched back. He pushed the skirt up onto Dan’s lower back, exposing his bare ass. He hummed as he caressed it.

“No underwear, Daniel?” Phil questioned, the cockiness and excitement perfectly evident in his husky, deep voice.

Dan shook his head as his breathing accelerated, “No, Sir.”

Without saying another word, another harsh slap was given on Dan’s bare rear, causing the boy to yelp in pleasure.

“P-Please, Sir,” Dan begged as his boyfriend pushed up against him once more.

“Please what, Daniel?”

“Please fuck me. Please,” Dan breathed heavily as he pushed back onto his boyfriend, pleading both verbally and physically.

Dan heard the significant ‘pop’ of a bottle cap, instantly getting excited. He felt a finger circling his fluttering rim as he spread his legs even wider. Without warning, Phil pushed in the first finger, beginning to stretch Dan for his cock. Shortly after, he inserted the second finger, scissoring Dan open.

Dan let out tiny pants and pleas as Phil prepped him, only wanted him to get his dick in him as soon as possible.

Phil then inserted a third finger, leaving Dan with a small burn of both pain and pleasure, which sent him wild. They may have had sex the day before, but Phil still wanted Dan to be properly stretched.

“Please. Please, please, please, Sir,” he begged Phil. His legs were shaking and he already wanted to release even though they’d barely started.

Phil pulled his fingers out of Dan, once again opening the lube and coating his dick with it, lining himself up with Dan’s hole.

Dan whispered tiny pleas as Phil pushed into him slowly.

“More, more, please,” Phil obliged and quickly thrusted fully into him once, making Dan let out a long, throaty moan. Phil stayed still for a while until Dan began squirming for him to begin.

“Please move, please, Sir,” he moaned.

Wasting absolutely no time, Phil pounded into Dan forcefully, gripping his hips and pulling him back onto his cock.

“Ah, ah, yes,” Dan moaned loudly as he gripped the sheets tightly, pushing his head down into the bed and muffling his noises.

Phil loved it when Dan was loud. He took pride in the fact that he was able to make Dan make those noises. It always gave him a feeling of possessiveness and domination that he loved.

“Sir, faster, please, ah,” Dan whined. Phil placed one hand between Dan’s shoulder blades and one on Dan’s lower back, fucking into the younger boy faster and harder.

“Oh fuck, yes Sir, yes,” Dan cried out as he pushed back on Phil.

Phil let out little grunts as he threw his head back in pure pleasure, loving the way Dan was tightening around him, swallowing his cock like he was made for it. He fucked Dan, basking in how good his dick felt gliding in and out of Dan’s warmth, almost wanting to cum on the spot, but not until Dan did.

Phil grabbed Dan by his head full of curls, promptly lifting his body upwards and onto his lap. He pressed his lips close to the younger boy’s ear, panting and whispering and he lazy rolled his hips into Dan while Dan glided up and down Phil’s dick.

“You didn’t think I forgot about your punishment, did you Daniel?” Phil grunted in Dan’s ear as he continued to roll his hips up into Dan, almost hitting his prostate.

“Uh, ah fuck, no Sir,” Dan sobbed as he felt Phil’s tip brush his prostate. He slightly lifted himself up off of Phil’s cock to save him the orgasm, but was forcefully pulled back down, causing a moan to rip from his throat, “ah fuck, fuck, fuck, please, yes,” he threw his head back on Phil’s shoulder as Phil left tiny love bites all over his neck.

“No cumming, baby,” Phil demanded as he wrapped a hand around Dan’s leaking member.

Dan gasped as his dick finally received some attention, hands scrambling to grab somewhere, anywhere, before he lost his fucking mind.

“No, no, please Sir, let me cum,” he cried as Phil’s hand worked on his cock slowly.

“Be good for me baby,” Phil told him as he continued to place love bites on his neck.

He briefly pulled Dan off of his dick and turned him around, pushing him onto his back. He admired how fucked out his boyfriend looked; lips swollen from biting them, eyes lidded in pleasure, hair unkempt, and chest heaving in anticipation.

“Fuck you look so good Daniel. So fucking good for me,” Phil uttered deeply to him as he pushed into Dan’s warmth once more.

“Just for you, Sir,” Dan moaned, arching his back as Phil pushed into him. His thighs were then pressed against his chest, allowing Phil to enter him deeper.

“Ah fuck, yes, Sir,” he moaned as Phil fucked into him hard and fast.

“So fucking beautiful, Daniel,” Phil breathed, groaning as he fucked into his boyfriend.

“Sir, m’close, m’so fucking close,” Dan cried as he felt his release approach him.

“Hold it, Daniel. Be good for me, love,” Phil groaned. Dan looked so fucking good in his outfit he almost forgot this was a little fantasy of his.

Dan, however, fucking loved how broad Phil looked in his suit. Watching the older man fuck into him with his button up and blazer still on made his eyes roll back into his head.

Phil re-positioned Dan’s legs and wrapped them around his waist. He unbuttoned the first few buttons of Dan’s blouse to access his chest, leaving multiple love bites on it.

Dan wrapped his arms around Phil’s neck as he continued to get roughly thrusted into. He was moaning into Phil’s ear, causing Phil to only groan at how sexy he sounded. His voice was slightly hoarse at how loud he was being and Phil loved it.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful, Daniel. So fucking good. All mine,” Phil grunted in the other’s ear as he crashed his lips onto his lovers.

Dan moaned on Phil’s lips as Phil hit his prostate dead on, arching his back and his eyes rolling to the back of his head.

“Uh, fuck, yes. Your’s, Sir. Only your’s,” Dan’s voice wavered as he was nearing the most mind blowing orgasm he’ll probably ever have. He pulls off Phil’s blazer and runs his hands up his button up shirt, not even bothering to unbutton it, and reaching his hands to his back, scratching on it.

Phil groaned loudly as his thrusts became for erratic and rough, approaching his orgasm even quicker.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum. I’m gonna fucking cum, Sir, please,” Dan sobbed loudly as his legs trembled severely.

“Cum, baby. Cum for me,” Phil groaned in his ear. They press their lips together almost desperately as Dan comes first, the orgasm running though his body intensely as he sobs out loud moans, pulling Phil closer to him as his legs shook around the older man’s waist, feeling weaker and weaker.

Phil’s thrusts get slower and deeper as he subsequently releases into Dan moaning out loudly on his boyfriend’s lips, pulling away to catch him breath as he rests his head in the crook of Dan’s neck.

The two took a while to recuperate from their intense orgasms. Phil then rolled off of Dan, ridding himself of the rest of the clothes that he had on as Dan laid in a post-orgasm daze. His mind was blank as everything seemed so surreal to him.

Phil knew Dan would get like this afterwards, so he didn’t bother to get him up just yet. He took off the remainder of Dan’s clothes and threw both of their damp clothes into the laundry. He went into the bathroom and got a wet cloth, wiping himself down, then going to wipe Dan down afterwards, figuring they’d take their baths and change their sheets when they woke up from their inevitable nap.

Phil got Dan some water and allowed him to take a few sips from it, putting him back to lie down next to him.

“You alright?” Phil questioned the younger softly as he played in his hair. Dan nodded and smiled softly with his eyes still half lidded.

“Mhm. Very. Fuck, that was so good,” Phil chuckled at his boyfriend.

“Wouldn’t mind doing it again sometime,” he shrugged. Dan looked up at him and grinned.

“You do look pretty sexy in a suit,” his hoarse voice uttered as he snuggled closer to his boyfriend. Phil took him closer and wrapped his arms around him tighter.

“Mm. I’ll keep that in mind. Heels make you look good by the way,” Dan scoffed.

“I’m not fucking wearing those again,” he told Phil as he snuggled into his chest. Phil laughed lightly.

“I guess the skirt will suffice for now,”

“Yeah, it better.”

#dan and phil #dan howell #phil lester #daniel howell #amazing phil #danisnotonfire #danisnotinteresting #lessamazingphil #phan #phanfiction #phanfic #phan smut #phandom #dan and phil games #dnp

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gamersonthego · 6 years ago

Text

Chase Koeneke’s Top 10 Handheld Games of 2018

2018 could’ve been a bummer of a year. The game I was most excited about – Fire Emblem: Three Houses – got pushed to 2019. We were getting a new Pokemon game...but it was based on a mobile game and was fundamentally changing the formula I loved. And outside of Smash Bros., there was little left I was anticipating.

And yet, 2018 turned out to be a fantastic year in handheld gaming. I got a turn-based strategy game that’s up there with any Fire Emblem game I’ve ever played. That Pokemon game ended up being pretty great! And there were a bevy of unexpected indies that kept me entertained all year long. Here are my top 10 handheld games from 2018 (as well as a few honorable mentions).

Honorable Mentions: Mark of the Ninja Remastered, Gris, Kingdom Rush Vengeance, Donut County, West of Loathing

10. Minit (Switch, PS4, Xbox One, PC)

I like to take my time in games – fully exploring worlds, talking to NPCs, reading item descriptions. In that sense, Minit, a top-down Zelda-style game that only allows you to play in one-minute sessions should be my nightmare. But it’s not. In fact, I really liked it. Minit’s limitations freed me from my thinking and made me engage with the game on its level. In a world dominated by GPS and a games’ landscape dominated by easily accessible maps, there’s something refreshingly challenging having to commit the area to memory and make plans on not only what to do next, but how to make it there in time.

9. Golf Peaks (iOS, PC)

I’m bad at real golf, but golf video games, especially the ones that don’t try to meticulously recreate the sport, are my jam. Mario Golf on the Game Boy Color is one of my favorite games ever. Golf Story was one of my favorite games last year. And Golf Peaks takes that crown in 2018. Golf Peaks expertly mixes golf, card and puzzle mechanics to make for a uniquely pleasing combination. New obstacles are layered in world by world and get increasingly bizarre, until what you’re playing is barely recognizable as golf. Golf Peaks feels meticulously crafted, and it makes for a difficult, but rewarding experience. Unfortunately, because it’s so bespoke, it’s a finite experience, and once you’ve completed it, there’s little reason to revisit it. A new world has been added since the game’s release, but after completing it in less than an hour, I’m back to waiting for more.

8. Alto’s Odyssey (iOS, Android)

Alto’s Adventure was one of my favorite games of 2015, a gorgeous and fun take on the infinite runner genre. Alto’s Odyssey further refines the formula by adding in even more things to do. The silky-smooth jumps, grinds and backflips return, along with the sublime wingsuit power-up, but they are joined by Tony Hawk-style wall rides that add a new dimension to the game. With uniquely skilled characters to unlock and upgrades to literally and figuratively grind for, Odyssey will keep you busy for a long time. It’s one of those rare phone games that’s good for play sessions both long and short, and its action never gets old.

7. Final Fantasy XV: Pocket Edition (iOS, Android, Switch, PS4, Xbox One, PC)

I was intrigued by Final Fantasy XV on the PS4, but ultimately bounced off its combat and general milling about. Pocket Edition fixes both of those issues and lets me enjoy what I really like about the game: its story and its characters. The miniaturized version of FFXV has turned it into a linear game with simplified controls (touch controls if you’re playing the phone version). The way it retains quite a bit of the themes and depth (and voice acting) of the original game despite streamlining it never ceased to impress me. And weirdly, playing Pocket Edition has actually reawakened my desire to play the original game. I want to see this treatment given to other Final Fantasy games.

6. Florence (iOS, Android)

Florence is not a game I would traditionally play on a phone. It’s not an infinitely replayable, puzzling experience like Threes or Drop7 or even a Kingdom Rush. But it is an experience, and one I deeply appreciated. Florence made me feel more than any other game this year, and it did it in a game that takes only about a half hour. It tells a mundane, yet impactful story about relationships. It’s beautiful. It’s funny. It’s tragic. But most of all, it’s real, and it uses its touchscreen controls to great effect to make you feel like you are an active participant in the story. It’s somehow simultaneously abstract and extremely specific, and I think it’s something everyone should witness.

5. Pokemon Let’s Go Pikachu/Eevee (Switch)

This is the Metal Gear Solid 2 of Pokemon. Let me explain. In MGS2, you play as Raiden, and you learn that you are being put through a similar adversity to the original MGS’ Shadow Moses Island in the hopes of turning you into another legendary hero like Solid Snake.

In Pokemon Let’s Go, things start familiar enough to anyone who’s played the first generation of Pokemon games (particularly, Yellow). You get a starter, you battle your rival, you face Brock and Misty and the other gym leaders and you stumble into and interrupt a nefarious Team Rocket plot. It’s all there. Except then you run into Blue, who is the real rival from the first generation of Pokemon. Which means your rival isn’t your rival. And you aren’t you. It’s fascinating and I ended up loving it.

Mechanically, it’s a weird mix of adding from more recent games while also stripping away complexity. Mega Evolutions are in. Held items are out. HMs are out. Steel, dark and fairy types are in. And there are some brand-new mechanics like catch combos that are a fun and new way to engage with Pokemon. It’s not all rainbows (I’m still not sold on the GO-style catching system,) but I hope the next mainline Pokemon game takes a little inspiration from these games. And I hope they remake Gold and Silver in this style too.

4. Holedown (iOS/Android)

Holedown became my go-to phone game for most of 2018. While you can beat it in a manner of hours, the game is so addictively fun and replayable with its final, seemingly endless level that you’ll be happy to dive back in again and again to improve your score. Holedown is satisfying in every sense of the word. Endorphins rush when you see and hear massive streams of balls ping-ponging off walls. Hitting the perfect angle to keep the combo going higher and higher is intensely gratifying. It’s so easy to play and understand, and yet you’ll be learning new tricks after your hundredth attempt. Holedown rules. Play Holedown.

3. Super Robot Wars X (Vita, PS4)

OK, this one’s a bit of a stretch. Super Robot Wars is not available in the US last I checked (though it is available in English.) Also, I did not play its handheld Vita version. Instead I played it on the PS4. So, on one hand, this game doesn’t really belong on this list. On the other hand, I love Super Robot Wars X so much, so it’s staying.

This was my first dip into the series and immediately found it to be an incredibly dense and confusing experience. It’s a turn-based strategy game like Fire Emblem, which sounds right up my alley, but the number of things to account for is staggering. To list all its mechanics would be a daunting exercise. Slowly, but surely, I learned to engage with more and more systems until finally, I felt like I could see the code, that I had entered the Matrix. I suddenly knew strategy game kung-fu. The game would set up almost impossible odds and, sometimes after an insane amount of consideration, I’d find a solution. I could boost the range on one weapon for the one turn I need it. Or maybe that shield I’ve never used would actually come in handy here. Oh wait, this pilot has a special skill I could utilize. The solutions are always there, you just have to look for them. It’s a beast of a game, but one I became utterly mesmerized with.

2. Dead Cells (Switch, PS4, Xbox One, PC)

I jealously watched early access PC players make run after run on Dead Cells. I heard people extol the game’s virtues on countless podcasts, and then, finally, the game released on Switch and I too could experience its splendor. And boy, did it deliver. Dead Cells bends over backwards to tailor the game experience to you. It allows you to choose what and when to unlock new skills, letting you further customize your arsenal as you play. It accounts for novice players who need to take their time getting through its sprawling levels while also providing options for crafty veterans who are able to speed through its content. And yet, as much as it caters, you’ll inevitably get to a point in your run where the game says “OK, now we’re going to test you.” I have failed that test every time. I have not beaten Dead Cells. But I am damn sure ready to try again.

1. Into The Breach (Switch, PC)

Where Super Robot Wars X is a turn-based mech strategy game on a macro scale, with an inconceivable amount of systems and options to deal with for your double-digit army of robotic fighters, Into The Breach stuffs all the same intensity into a comparably tiny grid and only a trio of battlers. It maintains the perfect amount of complexity, making every unit, every weapon, every move and every choice matter. It’s the ultimate chess game. And just when you think you’ve wrapped your head around its mechanics, it hands you a new team of mechs that plays completely differently. Runs are short, but meaningful, and the optional challenges (that let you unlock more new teams) push you out of your comfort zone to learn new strategies. Not only is it my favorite game of the year by a country mile, it might be one of the best games of all time.

#goty #gotggoty2018 #chase koeneke #minit #golf peaks #alto's odyssey #final fantasy xv pocket edition #florence #pokemon let's go #holedown #super robot wars x #dead cells #into the breach

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