#that feeling of seeing yourself in a fic
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Hi!
This is going to seem random but I promise it’s about your writing!! I’m pretty new to realizing I’m Ace (like very new) and I’m struggling with coming to terms with it, and with being really afraid of being alone my whole life, and like actually really grieving thinking I was just a picky bisexual (until listening to other people talk about attraction and realizing that is not my experience). And just generally having a pretty hard time.
But I just wanted to tell you that your fic ‘A Little Bit of You’ was so good. Like the beginning part of Harry not understanding that he’s flirting but just very casually affectionate is literally my life. (A part of my life that I have found baffling because doesn’t everyone want to hold their friends’ hands or play with their friends’ hair??? How is that flirting???) I literally started crying when I read that, I felt so seen and validated. Also just like the very real fear of never being loved, of being alone forever, of always being simultaneously too much and not enough. It’s like you took my whole entire heart and put it into a fic. And then you handed my fears the hope that for someone, doing life together is enough; making food together, snuggling on the sofa, getting to travel and adventure 🥹🥹😭😭😭
Anyway. Please pardon my rambling. It’s just that I’ve been really afraid and sad lately, and for a couple of minutes it felt like maybe everything will be okay. Thanks for sharing your writing. 💕
Hi Nonnie.
First off, congratulations on discovering this part of yourself! I know it feels huge and scary but I'm so so happy that you know yourself a little bit better now.
I'm so, so, so glad that my fic helped you, even just a little bit. Fanfic - specifically drarry fanfic - is where I first came across asexuality as a concept, let alone realising that I'm ace. So this feels full circle in a really beautiful way. If you haven't already, I'd encourage you to check out the fics linked in these lists. So many of them were instrumental to me discovering, accepting and feeling comfortable in my own aceness, and any I've read more recently always feel like a warm, affirming hug.
Harry in this is fairly heavily based on my own experiences. The amount of times I've been accused of flirting - and also was apparently being flirted with! (Can we normalise physical affection between platonic friends? Please???).
I promise, that someday, everything will be okay. I can't tell you what that is going to look like, but I truly believe that one day you will look back on this time and smile knowing just how far you've come. Whether that future includes a partner or not, you will be happy and have fulfilling relationships. Because being ace does not take away our capacity to love or be loved - it just looks different.
I didn't know I was ace until more than four years into my marriage. I figured out my demiromanticism even later than that. But those two facts about me don't change the fact that I have a husband whom I love - in my own, Rowan way - and who buys me light up keyboards and makes sure I have enough blankets and huffs when I hog the sheets.
Anyway, this has been a ramble of my own! But thank you so so much for reading my little fic, and for reaching out (I will treasure your words forever). If you ever feel comfortable, my DMs are always open (to you, and to everyone else).
But more than anything, Nonnie, I want you to know that you are valid and loved exactly as you are.
#no matter who you are and how you identify you are loved and welcome here#that feeling of seeing yourself in a fic#asexuality#ace pride#acespec#asked and answered#lovely anons
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could you imagine if people talked about, as an example, star trek the same way they do fandoms/media that have sprung up in more recent years. like “god sorry i’m posting spock/kirk in 2024…” “nobody hate me for still loving data when next gen ended ages ago pls!!” shut up and just love things earnestly. there is no time limit on passion and if anyone judges you for enjoying media that’s already ended, or participating in a “dead” fandom then um. bite them
#.txt#i know the internet cycles through trends like people go through underwear#but you don’t have to be ashamed just because the thing you love doesn’t happen to be ‘in’ at whatever given moment#you can just yk. like things#express yourself earnestly and likeminded people will flock to you#constantly putting yourself your interests your art/meta/fic down#is just gonna drive away the people who may feel just as much passion as you#genuinely whenever i see people saying stuff like that on art for stuff i like it just makes me feel bad#mainly for the artist#your hard work and love for the work of others is not shameful it’s beautiful#anyways. tired rambling over i’m going to bed
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As a Kakyoin fan and artist, I'm doing my part in giving him a part 4 design 🫡 (OG ask) Throwing my headcanons at you and hitting you square in the face
Ramble under the cut
Noriaki is a successful gallery artist living with his "roommate" on Florida's Gulf Coast (I think the Tampa Bay area, specifically Bradenton, FL). They have a small bungalow near the water, Perfect for them, their office/studios, Jotaro's fish tanks, and Jolyne when she comes from her mother's during the holidays or for summer break. Jotaro is definitely a boat guy they have theirs parked on the side of the house and take it for a spin over at least once a month (or once a week when Jolyne is with them over the summer)
He still does missions for the SWF with Jotaro, but his day job is his art. He works in an abstract/contemporary style and his pieces are large and textural. Jotaro doesn't really get it but still supports his partner, Jolyne loves them though.
Also, he and Jotaro have matching wedding rings: platinum bands with emerald Inserts.
#I miss him#Oh my god they were roommates#I know the common headcanon is that Jotrao lives in Miami#But ive lived in Miami and he would hate it here#Its too loud and crowded down here#I think he would like living in the Tampa Bay Area more I feel in in my gut as a fellow Floridian#Also Its always weird for me to see my home town come up in a fic its like a slap in the face#like have they smelled the weed in bayside have they they been to palacio de los jugos have they been stuck in traffic on the 836 expresswa#Have they gotten lost in the maze that is hialeah have they had ironbeer have they beEN TO THE BASS PRO SHOP IN DOLPHIN MALL#Drives me nuts#Anyway I think Nori would love ironbeer#If your are ever in Miami go to a Cuban restaurant and get yourself an Ironbeer it life if rootbeer was good#Also yes Jotaro is a boat guy I say this with confidence coming from a boating family in Florida#Also also i doing the research for the skin grafts really got me I don't do well with medical stuff.#jojos bizarre adventure#jojo no kimyou na bouken#jjba#jjba part 4#jjba part 3#diamond is unbreakable#stardust crusaders#kakyoin#noriaki kakyoin#jotaro#jotaro kujo#jotakak#noritaro#artists on tumblr#my art#adri blabs
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disco ninja frog and bancho house wife
this was so cosmically funny in my head I had to manifest it into drawing form (30 minute speedrun)
#god hopefully no ones done this yet#I read a whole essay someone made about how Yu is no where near as homophobic as yoosk is but still likely is homophobic#and honestly? love that#every fic makes Yu out to be like. this super in touch with himself guy or atleast far more aware of his feelings compaired to Yosuke#im not really a shipping person (other then when its funny) but I love souyo on account of “closeted homophobic guy in 2008 realizes things#which I can relate to. not the 2008 part but the homophoic to homosexual pipeline#and whats better then a dense homophoic guy who doesn't come to terms with his big fat crush on his aibou in a game about#coming to terms with the parts of yourself you dont like or dont want others to see?#TWO dense as bricks homophobic guys! In the TV you two go to discover your feelings!#god its just such an interesting dynamic. even more so when you throw in Izanagi and Jiraiya#souyo
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If I may request a Rise fic!! I’m a huge sucker for comfort/cheer up tickles, so could you possibly write a disaster twins fic with Lee Leo and Ler Donnie where Leo’s been having a pretty bad day (because of what is your choice!) and ends up feeling self conscious about himself and stuff, so Donnie decides to cheer up his twin!! Please don’t feel rushed and make sure you’re taking care of yourself ^_^
~ 𝚂𝚝𝚘𝚙 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜!!! ~
💜💙 𝙵𝚒𝚌 𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚢: 𝙰𝚗𝚘𝚗 𝙽𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚎 💜💙
·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚𝙼𝚂𝙺𝙽𝚂𝙽𝙺𝙼𝙳𝙽𝚂𝙹 𝙽𝙾𝙽𝙽𝙸𝙴 𝙾𝙷 𝙼𝚈 𝙶𝙾𝚂𝙷 𝚈𝙾𝚄. 𝙶𝙴𝚃. 𝙼𝙴!!! 𝙶𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚘𝚑𝚑𝚑𝚑𝚑 𝚖𝚢 𝙻𝙾𝚁𝙳 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚝 𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚖𝚢 𝙹𝙰𝙼!!! 𝙴𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚒𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙳𝚒𝚜𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚃𝚠𝚒𝚗𝚜…𝙶𝚘𝚍, 𝙸 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚜𝚎 𝚝𝚠𝚘 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑. 𝙻𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚕𝚢..𝚑𝚞𝚛𝚝/𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚝 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚜𝚎 𝚝𝚠𝚘 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚎 𝚖𝚢 𝚙𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚎…𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎’𝚜 𝚘𝚕𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚠𝚒𝚗 𝙳𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚎??? 𝙻𝚎𝚐𝚒𝚝 𝚖𝚢 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚏𝚊𝚗𝚏𝚒𝚌 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎!!!˚*• ̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙**·̩̩̥͙
𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎: 𝙷𝚞𝚛𝚝/𝙲𝚘𝚖𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚝
𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜: 𝟺,𝟹𝟿𝟺
𝙻𝚎𝚎: 𝙻𝚎𝚘 🐢💙
𝙻𝚎𝚛: 𝙳𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚎 🐢💜
𝚂𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢: 𝙳𝚞𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗, 𝙻𝚎𝚘 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚙𝚒𝚍…𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚎𝚕𝚜𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚗𝚎𝚠, 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝?
(𝙰/𝙽: 𝚂𝚠𝚒𝚖𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚜𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚜𝚎𝚊 𝚘𝚏 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝…𝙱𝚞𝚝 *𝙰𝙷𝙴𝙼* 𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚕𝚢: 𝙳𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚐𝚞𝚢! 𝚃*𝚌𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙺𝚒𝚗𝚔/𝙽𝚂𝙵𝚆 𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚜 𝙳𝙽𝙸!!!)
𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚐𝚒𝚎 𝚝𝚊𝚐𝚜: @shut-up-jo @itzsana-kiddingmenow @aceofspades-doodles @ziipzeepzop-eez
@tmntheadforever123 @rice-cake-teen10 @aninabanina6969
@savemeafruitjuice @cedarrthefluffylee @saturnzskyzz @titters-and-tingles
@someone1348 @my-l0v3r-v3rse @snipersiniora @mistyandsnow
𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝙰𝚛𝚐𝚞𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚊𝚌𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏-𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚖 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚢𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚊 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚘𝚛 𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚌 𝚜𝚑𝚞𝚝𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗, 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐. 𝙿𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝙿𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝙿𝙻𝙴𝙰𝚂𝙴 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚔!!! 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚍𝚘𝚘𝚣𝚢…
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚𝚃𝙴𝙴𝙷𝙴𝙴 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝 𝚖𝚢 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚍 🕺🏾✨💞🎶˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*·̩̩̥͙
“I can’t believe you’re doing this to me again.” Leo grumbled under his breath as he rested his mouth on his palm, glancing away from his brother as he sighed loudly.
“Well maybe if you weren’t so fucking reckless I wouldn’t need to.” Donnie growled lowly, glaring down at his twin.
“I’m not a baby, Don. I don’t need to be supervised like I’m some bomb triggered to explode.” The younger said in exasperation, lying down on his bed whilst grabbing a comic book to read off of his desk.
If Leo was going to be told off and scolded by his dear beloved brow-loving brother, he should at least have something to occupy himself with in the meanwhile.
The softshell groaned eternally at his little brother’s action, quickly snatching the piece of literature out of the other’s hands and throwing it effortlessly to the ground.
Uninterested lime green eyes locked with a determined yet fierce light golden, both of them refusing to look away or blink to show their dominance.
But after a while, the red eared slider grew more impatient, looking away again as he picked a hangnail on his thumb, “If you’re going to yell at me, can you just get it over with? I saw a reddit post predicting what’s going to happen in The Umbrella Academy season four and I need to read it.”
“You can read that later, Nardo. I promise you, that reddit post isn’t going to fly away.” The elder said as he pinched the bridge of his snout, “What I need you to do right now is acknowledge what you did today was stupid, alright?”
Leo looked away from his older brother, scoffing lightly, “I do stupid things all the time. What stupid action of mine are you wanting to scream at me for this time?”
The softshell turtle took a couple deep breaths at that comment, drumming his fingers on his left arm in a soothing motion because he was NOT going to give into the urge of strangling his twin brother…
…No matter how much he deserved it.
“I’m not planning on screaming at you— that won’t help anyone or anything.” The purple banded turtle explained calmly…but you could see and tell he was starting to lose his paitence.
“But you want to.” The red eared slider pressed on.
“Leo…please. I don’t want to argue right now.”
“We’re not arguing. We’re just kindly discussing my oh-so stupid descision that unfolded earlier today, right?” The younger twin smirked smugly, his eyes locking once again with his brother.
When it came to arguments, the leader in blue always had this wonderful tactic to avoiding things: attempting to annoy the other person so much that they drop the subject they wanted to discuss with him completely.
It always worked with Raph…which the red eared slider didn’t know whether that was a good thing or a bad thing.
But the only downside of doing this tactic was his dumb twin saw right through it…
…And Leonardo despised it.
“Nardo…you know what I’m referring to. And stop picking, please. Your going to hurt yourself.” The older attempted to say in a tranquil voice, but it personally just sounded like he was one second away from losing. his. shell.
“I sadly do not know what your referring to.” The blue cladded teen said coyly, picking on his hangnail more desperately now, “Care to enlighten me, Tello?”
Donnie’s expression hardened ever so slightly at his younger brother’s absolute persistence on annoying him out of his right mind so he could eventually drop the subject…but the softshell turtle was not budging.
His twin would have to try way harder than that.
“I’d love to.” The light golden eyed mutant said in a fake sweet tone as he walked over to lean his shell on Leo’s closed door, crossing his arms in disaproval. The elder grabbed his brother’s sword, planting it right next to his foot so the blue banded turtle couldn’t reach for it.
The red eared slider’s cocky grin turned to a small grimace (shake) as he soon came to terms with what his older brother was doing…
…He physically could not leave from this conversation…literally.
Leonardo crossed his arms, trying to mimick the other’s serious demeanor but was only met with an icy glare in return.
“What you did during today’s mission was completley reckless and idiotic, Leonardo…and you know it.” The second oldest said, “I had that thug exactly where I wanted him but noooooo. Because you saw me trip you thought it would be a spectacular idea to throw yourself on top of me as that hooligan tried to hit me with his bat!!” Donatello seethed.
“We’ve been over this multiple times, Leo! There was no reason for you to do that!” The light golden eyed teen yelled, his glare only hardening more as he saw the younger stuttering over his words to try to defend himself.
“I’m not done.” The taller teen growled, all of his calmness and collectiveness thrown completley out of the window.
The slider slightly flinched (which went un-noticed by the other) at his brother’s genuine angry tone, his left leg fidgeting and bouncing up and down like crazy.
His tactic was really starting to not work in his favour at all…
“Just…stop putting yourself in the middle of danger like you’re just expecting the rest of us to just watch. We’re your family…and most importantly, we can defend ourselves just fine.”
“Well ihisn’t that hypocritic!” Leonardo scoffed before creasing his eye ridges together in genuine confusion, mumbling to himself, “Hyp…uh…hypocrotic? Hyp…Hypocratic…?”
“Hypocritical?” The older deadpanned.
“YES! THAT WORD!” Leo said, “When we were fighting Kraang Prime on the ship and he went to take a blow at Mikey…what did you do?”
Donatello scowled, his eyes not leaving his twin, “…I went in front of him and shielded him with my mystic tech.”
“Exactly.” The lime green eyed mutant scoffed, “And how is that any different from what I did, hm?”
“BECAUSE I HAD A PLAN!!!” Donatello shouted, “I planned to accordingly go in front of Mikey so my sheild could protect both him and me. Did it end up turning out perfect? Fuck no. Kraang Prime slashed right through it and me and Mikey went tumbling towards the ground…” The glasses wielding teen said through clenched teeth.
The light golden eyed teen rubbed his face tiredly, his hands clenching and unclenching in frustration, “But I had a plan. You on the other hand, just zoomed recklessly on top of me and hoped for the best.”
“…I saved you, didn’t I…?” The younger twin mumbled out meekly, causing Donatello’s blood to absolutley boil.
“That’s not the point!!!” The elder said as he clenched his hands at his sides again.
“Then what��is?!” Leo said desperately, “Because from the looks of it, it just seems like you want to yell at me for just doing my job.”
Leonardo pulled on his mask tails anxiously, trying to calm himself down but ultimately just making himself feel worse by doing the action, “I’ve been trying to be a better leader—“
“Leo—“
“—For you and Mikey and April and Raph and Casey and C.J. a-and Dad! But it seems like no matter what the hell I do there’s always something I’m doing WRONG!!!” The younger twin shouted, blinking back tears as he glared at the ground as if it took his Jupiter Jim comic.
Which…it did. The blue banded mutant wanted it back now, actually…
“I saved you! I-I didn’t even get hurt by doing it but somehow there’s an issue…” The lime green eyed teen murmured, both of his legs bouncing up and down as he tugged on his mask tails harder, “There always is…”
“Leonardo can you please just listen to me?” The older twin said in irritation.
“But Don I’m—“
“No, Leo! Just listen! That’s all you need to do!” Donnie snapped as he cut his brother off, “I don’t want you leaping head first into harms way! At all! Especially if you don’t have a plan!” The softshell turtle exclaimed as he flapped his hands against the side of his thighs, but his eye contanct remaining on his little brother.
“Oho so now you don’t trust me well enough to know that I can handle myself in combat?” Leo said in a last desperate attempt to make his brother drop the conversation.
“I…” The young scientist’s eye twitched, his eyebrows creasing together as he had to physically restrain himself to not beat the ever living crap out of the other teen, “THIS IS NOT ABOUT TRUST, NARDO!” The light golden eyed mutant screamed desperately, his hands flapping faster as the red eared slider shrunk at his usage of tone, “This is about you not even thinking about what would happen to yourself when you do reckless nonsense like this.”
Leo glanced to the side, his eyes watering as he bit the inside of his cheek.
He just wanted to help and be the leader his brother’s deserved…
But he always found a way to fuck it up without even noticing, huh?
"You don't think about what could happen to you and I hate it!” The elder cried, “What would’ve happened if Raph didn’t come behind the guy and knocked him out cold at the last second, huh?! Would you have just stayed right on me as he continued to beat you with his bat?!”
Leonardo bit the inside of his cheek harder, his legs bouncing up and down more as his fingernails dug unforgivingly into his arms, “I-I’m sorry, Donnie—”
“Or would you have tried to fight him instead?! Mind you, you dropped your sword before coming to me so you’d have no weapon to defend yourself.”
“You don't think about how much it scares me when you do dumb shit like that! I hate seeing you get hurt…I freaking loathe it.” Donnie rested the back of his head on Leo’s door, taking a couple deep breaths and hugging himself in an attempt to calm himself down.
Jeez…when the hell had he started yelling? His throat stung like a bitch now…
And when had he started shaking like a bobby head?!
The older twin’s expression softened, pinching the bridge of his snout once more, “I care about you…so fucking much, okay…?” The purple banded turtle said gently as he gradually started to simmer down and become more calm, “Your my twin…my little brother. And I hate to be repetitive but I-I just despise seeing you hurt…physically or emotionally…so please just…”
The young scientist’s eyes widened, peering down at his brother who did not seem to be following…at all.
Leo’s eyes were wide as saucers as he hit his arm with his fist repeatedly whilst obviously trying to suck in whatever tears dared to try and escape.
The taller turtle basically ran to his distressed twin, trying to stop him from harming himself any further but was only met with a low grunt.
Shit.
Shit. Shit. Fucking shit.
Wonderful job, Donatello! You yelled at your brother so much he shut down!
Even though you knew he can’t fucking stand being yelled at and the whole point of you even being here was to explain what he did wrong collectively and calmly because that was the exact oppositeof what Raph does when he’s worried…
But no! You yelled at him anyway.
Wonderful job, Donatello…wonderful. job.
The older twin sighed sadly, gently grabbing his brother’s wrists so he would stop hitting himself. The two brother’s shared eye contact once again, an unsure lime green meeting an understanding yet uncertain light golden.
“Nardo…” The softshell started, squeezing the other’s hands gently, “…Are you with me, bud…?”
Leo just nodded quietly, squeezing back.
“God…Nardo I’m so sorry…” The older muttered, “I don’t…I don’t know why the hell I lost my cool like that. I-I’m sorry I yelled. I shouldn’t of yelled…I-I just…” Donatello sighed, squeezing his brother’s hands once again. “I’m not angry with you. I…I was just frustrated.”
“Well, no…let me rephrase: I am angry with you— livid even. You know damn well enough that when you do those kinds of things my heart literally jumps out of my shell. I need you to put into consideration that I would like to live to at least seventy-seven…”
The younger twin giggled wetly, fidgeting with his brother’s fingers as he spoke, “…Why seventy-seven?”
“Albert Einstein died when he was seventy-six…I can and will outlive him.” The light golden eyed teen said matter-of-factly, “But back to what I was initially saying…I know you meant well. You saw that I was in trouble…and you dropped literally everything in order to help me get out of said trouble. You don’t think of what happens to you…you just do it because you’ll know if you do we’ll be alright…”
“I-I just…I just wanted to protect you…I-I just wanted to help…” Leo tried to explain.
“I know. I know, Lee…” Donatello sighed, rubbing the slider’s knuckles gently with his thumb, “But you need to understand that with you trying to protect us that way, your putting us in the same situation your trying to keep us away from.” The elder explained lightly, smiling softly as him and his twin’s forehead’s touched.
“You’re getting hurt— or at the very least almost getting hurt. We’re feeling the same anguish and guilt you would feel if any of us did that. I get that you want to be a good leader and shit…but you can lead well without doing that…okay?”
Leo fiddled with the other’s fingers a bit more, his bouncing leg starting to calm a bit, “I’ll…try to be more careful when it comes to me protecting you guys like that. When I see you all in trouble…I just…react. I don’t really care about what happens to me as long as you guys end up okay. But…I’ll try to be more careful. And if I ever end up, like, being a bit too reckless…you can just tell me…deal?”
“Deal.” Donnie nodded, squeezing Leo’s hands one last time before letting go, wiping his twin’s eyes with his hoodie sleeve, “Now please stop crying or you’re going to make me start crying.”
Leo snorted, examining the other’s now tearing up expression, “I think it’s a bit too late for that…”
“GAH! FUHUCK!” Donnie cursed, wiping his own eyes as the slider laughed loudly at his exclamation.
.
.
.
.
.
.
“Leo…don’t you think you’re getting a bit too big for this…?” Donatello grumbled as Leonardo was on his lap, getting all nice and comfy as he rested his chin on the older’s shoulder. “Noooope.” Leo drawed out, making a dramatic popping noise at the end of the 'p', “'Sides, this is what you get for making me emo earlier.”
“…I said I was sorry…I didn’t mean to shout at you like that. I was just concerned…”
“I know that, you worrywart. I was just kidding.” The lime green eyed teen said lovingly, squishing his brother into a tighter embrace. The older let out a short shriek at the hug but of course didn’t mind the other being so clingy.
If the young scientist really and truly did mind? Leo would’ve been pushed to the floor by now.
The two twins shared a comfortable silence…well…a semi-comfortable silence.
The purple banded teen felt…off. His younger brother had this…look in his eyes; like he wanted to say something but was afraid of what Donnie would say or how Donnie would react.
Which was so damn dumb Donatello didn’t even know how to explain it.
“…There’s something else on your mind.” The taller turtle hummed, his suspicions only rising as the other glanced to the side. “Uhm…no there isn’t. See? This is why I call you a worrywart.” Leonardo said, tapping his fingers on his thigh nervously.
Very convincing Leo…very convincing.
“Don’t even try lying to me, Leon. My older brother and twin senses are tingling. You can’t argue against that kind of logic.” The scientist said matter-of-factly.
“What are you, Spiderman?” The younger snorted.
“We shall never know.” The older shrugged, a small smile spreading to his face as he saw the other snort softly at his statement, “Now stop deflecting. Spill.”
“…Can you…adjust my elbow braces…?” The red eared slider muttered.
“…Why can’t you do it?” The other questioned. Not in a malicious way; he was just genuinely curious.
“I like it when you do it. You make it more firm, y'know?” The blue banded turtle whined dramatically, “Pleeeeeease?”
“Ugh, Jesus— fine. But drop the pout…you look ridiculous.” The taller mutant sighed, lightly grabbing his brother’s arm as he readjusted the braces.
The purple banded turtle meticulously took off the other’s left arm brace, tracing his twin’s elbow to make sure it was healing correctly— which the slider couldn’t help but wriggle slightly to.
As the older twin put the brace back on, he looked at the other turtle in complete worry, “…Why are you squirming around so much?” Donatello asked in confusion.
“…No reason.” Leonardo stated, but let out a tiny squeak as Donnie lightly pinched his forearm.
“Yohou okay…?” The glasses wielding mutant giggled.
“I-I’m fihine!” The smaller turtle insisted, covering his mouth as he let out a loud shriek in result to his brother now lightly scribbling his forearm. “EEEEE! P-Plehease moohoove yohour hahahand!!” The younger sputtered out, hiding his face in the crook of the scientist’s neck which the older turtle couldn’t help but let his heart melt to.
“Oh.” Donatello hummed, biting back an amused laugh, “Sorry. Sometimes I forget how ticklish you are…”
“Snrt I-Ihihi’m nahat ticklish. I juhust don’t wahant your hand thehere…”
And isn’t that quaint.
If Donnie had a penny for every time Leo said he 'wasn’t ticklish', the softshell would be richer than Elon Musk.
“…Right. So…you wouldn’t mind me doing this then?” The young genius mused as he scribbled one hand over his twin’s ribs. “EEEEHEH! Duhuhude noHOH!! F-Fuhuck yohou!” The younger twin managed through his small giggles, pushing on his brother’s plastron to try and escape while he still could.
The elder laughed fondly at his little brother’s futile actions, hugging him closer as he lightly tickled him, “Nahardo! My brohohother in Christ gehet back here or you’re gohoing to fahall off of the bed!
“N-NOHO!! LEHET ME GO!” The lime green eyed teen screeched loudly, kicking his legs and pushing even harder on the other’s plastron, his eye’s widening in panic as his older brother casually lifted him up and pinned his arms above his head, his plastron now facing up on the bed.
Eugh boy…
Donnie grinned, sitting on the other’s thighs as he wiggled his unoccupied fingers in the air near the slider’s side, “That’s better~!”
“WAHAIT WAHAHAIT snrt PLEHEASE DEEHEE!!” The red eared slider cried, kicking his legs from underneath the scientist.
If he was going to go down…he would at least go down fighting.
“I haven’t even touched you yet, you goof…” The older twin chuckled.
“B-BUHUT YOHOUR GOHOHONNA!”
“'Gonna' what, exactly?”
“TihiHICKLE ME!!”
“Tickle you? Well, why didn’t you just say so in the first place?” Donatello snickered, using his free hand to skitter his fingers along the crook’s of the younger’s neck.
The blue banded turtle squealed, shaking his head back in forth whilst scrunching his shoulders, “GAHaha— snrt EEEEHEEHEH oho cohome snrt OHAHAN!!”
“What’s wrong, Leo? I thought you said you weren’t ticklish~?” The older teased.
“Snrt STHDHAHAH! Shuhut UP! IHI’M naHAT!” The younger shouted, tugging and pulling his arms to try and get his hand’s free from the other’s grasp. Donnie just laughed softly at the action, wiggling his fingers above his little brother’s stomach.
The lime green eyed teen’s eyes widened in panic, thrashing in the hold to try and loosen his brother’s grip but the purple banded turtle did not budge even a smidge.
Leo’s laughs became more giddy and loud as he continued to squirm, small squeals and snorts escaping his beak as his twin brother’s hand went sloooooowly to his stomach.
“N-NOHO NONONONO DAHA— snrt DOHON!!” The smaller turtle snorted, hiding his face in the side of his arm which Donnie couldn’t help but giggle to.
The light golden eyed mutant rested his hand on the slider’s plastron, making the younger turtle’s laugh raise almost a thousand octaves.
“DOHON’T snrt DOHON’T DOHOHON’T snrt YOU DARE!! YOHOUR SOHO MEEHEEHEEAN!!” Leonardo whined, hiding deeper into his arm and becoming a giggly flustered mess.
The older twin shook his head fondly at his little brother’s embarrassed state, taking the opportunity to tickle the younger’s stomach while he wasn’t looking.
Leo let out a loud scream, descending into high-pitched cackles as even louder snorts followed, “HAHAHAHELP!! IHI’M SNRT BEEHEEING SLAHAHAUTERED!!”
“I’m quite literally only using one hand, Nardo. Stop being dramatic.” The light golden eyed teen mused whilst watching his brother snort and squirm, “And here I thought I was the dancer of the family. Look at you! You’re making up a whole dance routine right now!” He said as he let go of Leo, crossing his arms in amusement.
“S-Shuhuhut snrt up…” The younger twin wheezed out, hugging his middles as he playfully glared at his purple loving brother.
Then, a lightbulb went on in the scientist’s brain, a smug smile spreading to his face, “Hm…you know, Lee—”
“Dohont call snrt me thahat!” Leo giggly interupted.
“Uh-huh. Well, Lee…did you know that the underarms are one of the warmest places on the human body?” The scientist said.
The lime green eyed mutant cocked his head to the side in confusion, “Soho?”
“Soooo my hands are cold. Very cold, in fact. I’d be forever in your debt if you could—”
“NO! NONOHO WAHAY IN HEHELL! G-GOHO AWAHAHAY!” Leo squealed, reaching for his brother’s wrists as the elder tried to tickle his neck once again.
Sigh…Leonardo made this too damn easy sometimes.
The glasses wielding teen wasn’t just going to miss this oh-so-definetly-not-planned opportunity! The softshell scribbled his fingers along the slider’s underarms, making the younger let out a loud squawk as he shot his arms down.
“NAHAH AHAHAHA— snrt GEHET THEHE HEHELL OHAHA— snrt OHOHOUT!!” Leonardo cried while banging his heels on the bed.
“What~?” Donnie hummed inocently.
“GEHEHET AHA— snrt GEHET. OHOUT. OHOF THEHEHERE!”
“Awe…why~?”
“BEEHEECAUSE IHIT’S SOHO BAHAHAD!!!”
“And?” Donnie chuckled, “That sounds like a you problem, little brother.”
“AHHHAHA— snrt GAHAHAD FUHUCK YOHOU!!!”
“Pardon…what was that?” Donnie questioned as he pinched where Leo’s hip met his thigh. “N-NONO— snrt NAHAHAH!! I CAN’T— snrt PLEHEHEASE I’M snrt SORRY!! I-IHI TAHAHAKE IHIT BAHAHCK!!”
“Nah…I think I’ll just stay riiiiight here for a bit…” The taller turtle smiled, using both of his hands now to tickle Leo into a laughing and snorting blob.
The younger weakly hit his big brother’s arms, throwing his head back as he squeezed his eyes completely shut.
“…And you know what, Lee~?”
“WHAHAHAT NOW?!”
“I’m feeling…kind of famished.” The elder mused, his smile almost looking like the signature Joker’s as he saw his younger brother’s face pale.
Leonardo scrambled to sit up, fighting with his brother’s arms as he giggly protested, “PLAHA— snrt PLAHAHEASE! PLEHEASE snrt D-DOHON’T!!”
Donnie pinched his brother’s thighs unforgivingly, “You should have thought about that before yapping such ill nonsense about yourself.”
“WHAHA— snrt WHAHAHA— snrt WHAHAT DIHID snrt IHIHI snrt EVEN SAHAHAY?!” The lime green eyed turtle cackled, flapping his hands on the mattress.
It took literally everything in the older twin not to coo his baby brother’s adorable actions; instead, he lightly moved Leo’s hands away, smiling evily as he lowered his head to the other’s plastron, “You don’t even know. Guess you really want this, huh~?”
The blue banded teen kicked his knees into his brother’s shoulders and shell, throwing his head back in complete hysterics whilst waiting for him complete and utter demise.
The softshell wasted no time blowing raspberries after raspberries in the middle of his younger’s stomach, making sure to move the other’s hands away any time he tried to push at the young genius’ head.
Donnie didn’t feel like getting brain damage after all.
Plus, he had his signature glasses ᴅᴏɴᴀᴛᴇʟʟᴏ ᴛᴍ on! And those were trademarked…as you can wonderfully see.
“God…can you get more ticklish?” Donatello giggled, squeezing and squishing the red eared slider’s knees with one hand and scribbling his sides with the other whilst contuinung to raspberry Leo’s stomach.
“DEEHEE DEEHEEHEE SNRT PLEHEHEASE!!! IHI SNRT DAHAHAH— SNRT DAHA— SNRT DAHUNNO!!” The smaller turtle screamed, happy stimming with his arms on the taller twin’s shoulder.
Donnie couldn’t help but chuckle, deciding to show his twin a tad bit of mercy as he nibbled his stomach lightly.
The slider let out bloody murder from his beak, happy tears threatening to fall from his eyes as his bubbly cackles and snorts bounced off the walls of his room.
“Jeez…I think Peppa Pig has some competition, huh~?” The light golden eyed mutant snickered.
“PLEHEHEASE!! TEHEHELLO SNRT IHI’M GOH— SNRT GOHOHA— AHAHA SNRT MYHYHY SNRTGAHAHAHAD!!!” The smaller teen pleaded.
“Do you promise to stop putting yourself in between danger and your family?” The older hummed.
“YEHEHES!!” The younger cried loudly.
“Do you promise to go easier on yourself?”
“YAHA— SNRT YAHA— SNRT YEHEHES!!!”
“Do you promise to accept your doing an amazing job as leader and we all love you—”
“MY SNRT FUHUHUCKING SNRT GAHAHAD!!! IHIHI SNRT GEHET IT!!” Leonardo shouted, his blush now completley blending into the red stripes on his face.
The softshell turtle got off of the other, sitting next to his little brother as his little brother in question hugged his middles and giggled tiredly.
“Y-Yohou could ohof juhuhust sahaid ahall of thahat wihihithout tickling meeheee…” The younger grumbled despite the evident smile on his face.
“And where’s the fun in that?” Donnie smiled back, his expression softening as Leo got up and leaned against him softly. The older wraped an arm around the younger’s shoulder, pulling him closer into a warm, protective gesture.
“Ahand would yohohou look ahat that! Ihi got yohour emo bahad boy ahahass to smile todahay. Your eheeven hugging me~!” The blue banded leader spoke softly, his voice filled with affection as he poked his twin’s forehead cheekily.
“You tell anyone that and I will not hesitate to deny that extremely untrue statement.” The scientist huffed, rolling his eyes fondly as his smile spread.
·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚𝙵𝙸𝙽˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*·̩̩̥͙
(𝙿.𝚂.: 𝙸𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚌, 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐!!!)
#Rottmnt tickle#Rottmnt tickle fic#Lee!Leo#Ler!Donnie#WHOOOOOO BOYYYYYY…#I’m sorry but I’m not sorry 🫶🏾#Angst is like my second child 👶🏾💘💞💝💖💗#But I feel like I need to explain some stuff bc this fandom is probably holding me at gunpoint rn 😅🔫#The reason why I feel like Leo and Raph had so many disagreements when Leon became leader is bc Leo can’t handle yelling#LIKE AT ALL— he just sees it as whomever is yelling means their mad#So if Raphie boy was like: “I CARE ABOUT YOU AND LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH YOU DUMB ASS BITCH WHY CAN’T YOU JUST BE CAREFUL⁉️”#Leo would hear it as: “I HATE YOU SO MUCH RN WHY CAN’T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT⁉️”#This fandom has been sleeping on AuDHD Leo for Y E A R S and I shall not be silent anymore its SOOOOOOO OBVIOUS 😭‼️#I could not remember the word “hypocritical” for the LIFE of me…when I searched it up I probs wrote “hippopotamus”#Leon is trying PLEAAAASE catch him a break 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾#Older twin Donnie is canon idgaf I was in the writers room TRUST 👏🏾💗💞💝💕#Big bro senses 🤝🏾 Twin senses#Donnie is fucking UNSTOPPABLE 🤌🏾…bud does need to learn how to control is volume when upset tho eheheheh#He genuinely doesn’t know when he’s gradually getting louder or more upset…that’s why he was so panicked when Leo had his lil meltdown LOL#Raphie just expresses his worry with yelling…ex: “AND NOT EAT POSION‼️‼️‼️”#Oh yeah this takes place a couple months after the Invasion…so everyone is like healed and everything but yk they’re still traumatized obvs#😌👍🏾#Leo’s lil tactic on dropping convo’s is a HC I have so don’t quote me on it 🙌🏾#GDGDGSHSN I ALSO NEED PPL TO DRAW DON WEARING HIS GLASSES MORE OFTEN HE’S SUCH A CUTIE PATOOTIE 💝💘💕💗💖💞💓🩷#But tysm Nonnie!!! This was a TON of fun to write!#Make sure your taking care of yourself and drinking water— or at least get a snack 🥰#But after the mission Raph was SEETHING…and usually Don tries to talk to Leon instead cuz like he doesn’t want either party being upset#Nor does he want either of them to feel overwhelmed. So when Leo was like “Ur doing this to me again?!” Hes referring to all the times Don#<- has done that#Leo doesn’t like feeling pitied but it’s not Don’s intention to make him feel that way he just loves him family
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Still very wild to me when people try to gotcha Jason with the whole "if you can kill other people for being evil why can't they kill you" when jason is like. One of the most passively suicidal characters I've ever seen. What if man
#augh i dont want to cw this because im just talking about The Character and i feel bad when i do it for characters but i probably should#suicide mention#ask to tag#while im here i do absolutely believe hes been suicidal since jaybin times. maybe even before just in different ways. but like#going into that building with shelia? yeah#now. i DONT think he was aware of it and if youd ask him hed say no fully believing thats the truth#but like if a ghost jaybin had some introspection time i think he'd maybe eventually be like yeah#his outcomes to him were have a loving parent or die and hes a very big fan of ultimatums like that.#but he doesn't fully see it like that as jaybin because oh hes a hero and saving others when no one else can is what heros do :)#ramble. ivee been feeling it lately yknow how it is#ive once saw a post saying jason was planning to die after the joker was dead in utrh and yeagh i can see that#he puts A BOMB in his HELMET#suicidal characters in the context of hero stories are so fascinating to me. the self sacrifice.#the not caring about your own safety as long as you save someone else. the pushing yourself#the way itd be so easy to make it look like they just fell in battle. to be considered a hero in the end#anyway ive been glancing at suicidal jason todd fics. how bad is it that im still getting mad about characterization#because theyre not killing him right#AND ANOTHER THING. since im here and i try to avoid making posts about The Character like this so might as welk get it all out#think about suicidal jaybin as well as the fact 80s bruce very much considered suicidal people/people attempting like#weak and lazy? yells at them? i think thats about it. Very Much. je seems to straight up just hate them#again very much feel free to ask me to tag this one ^-^'#and i hope no one thinks im being callous here im very worried about that. i just its a very important part of his character to think about#and its fun to explore as someone who is passively suicidal myself#jason todd analysis#anyway no one look at me i am in my corner just rotating him#WAIT to clarify i dont think jaybin fully realized Just becauceof the heros sacrifice thing. i made it sound like that i believe#anyway. if you read him as suicidal since jaybin times and go to ditf with that lens like i did. well. the post death victim blaming..
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creating for a fandom from teenage years to adulthood is so special because you can see where your subconscious was through the history of your works
#just thought about this because i for fun started drafting a fic where marinette's 21 and seeing people her age doing#'grown up' stuff like getting married#and she's like? what? i still go to my mum when i need help? how are people my age having BABIES when i AM a baby?#but last year i was writing a lot about first year of uni vibes or living with flatmates etc#the year before that i was writing about dealing with depression and anxiety and feeling constantly at war with yourself and people you love#before that i was writing about friendships drifting away after the transition from secondary education -> further education#before that it was about dealing with jealousy when you have feelings for someone but not knowing how to properly articulate it#before that it was general stuff about impostor syndrome and worrying about inherently not being good enough#i dont know. i just love that i can see my own growth through how i have written and do write marinette and adrien#they have grown with me...! from 15 to 16 to 17 to 18 to 19 to 20 to 21#♡alizeh talks♡
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I absolutely really need to be writing anything but random ideas while I procrastinate and this is so awful rough bc I literally wrote it on my phone in one sitting while avoiding work but
Do you see my vision. Her Nosy Bitch Syndrome would actually be good for him when they've both chilled out a little in the postcanon.
#fic#wip#i know its weird that im writing about shuro getting a crush on marcille when i have no intentions of letting that go anywhere#but the idea wont leave my head. he would end up liking her for the same reasons the toudens latched onto her#she's weird and awful in her own way but she's honest about it. you never have to second guess yourself with her#because she wears her heart on her sleeve and is so bad at not doing so#she's not afraid to Speak Up and advocate for herself so you can trust her to push back if you lean on her too hard#maybe i just have terminal blorboism. i want to see her be freaky good at learning eastern magic#and maybe even cry a little bc calligraphy gives her that same calm feeling that braiding her hair used to#and she didnt think she'd ever find another meditation routine that actually fits her#also its just. wouldnt it be so funny. if falin was worried about them not getting along bc marcille is jealous#and then actually visiting and seeing the way shuro looks at her and going#oh no you dont. thats MY elf get your own!!!!!
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I think in the universe where the Cullens aren't in Forks, Bella Swan takes a while to come out of her shell, but when she does, she's witty and passionate and smart as a whip, even if she's still quiet and reserved. She sits with Jessica Stanley, who demands the best of everyone, and tells her friends about her boyfriend down on the rez, who is sweet and caring and funny and good with his hands, who works for everything he's ever had.
After class, during a sleepover, Bella whispers to tell Angie and Jess about the night after prom, even though her father, loving and careless, worries about her only a normal amount and loves Jacob Black like his own. When she gets into Dartmouth--all by herself, through study sessions in garages and with Jessica and in Angela's house--she chooses to go to Stanford instead. She misses the heat and light on her skin, even after falling in love with the rain. Jessica comes with her; Angela and Eric go to U of Washington in Seattle instead, for education and journalism respectively.
Bella makes sure to call every week and then one day she drives down to Seattle and her boyfriend, warm like the sun she loves and at least twice as reliable, becomes her fiancé. The ring isn't especially big or ornate or pricey, but the way she smiles could trick anyone into thinking that it was. All of her friends, new and old, are waiting at the small party afterwards, and Bella laughs the entire time. The engagement cake--chocolate, her favourite--is sweet and moist against her tongue.
She moves back to Forks once she gets her masters in information sciences and becomes the town's librarian. She gets married a month before the move, barefoot in the surf and her old prom dress, both her parents weeping with joy and Billy Black beaming damn near as bright as his son, Sue Clearwater holding his hand.
She raises her kids --both beautiful children, blessed with Jake's thick, long hair--with Angela and Eric's and takes them down to Los Angeles to visit their auntie Jess and her husband Quil, who lavishes them with gifts from her career as a top surgeon. She jokes about having to support Quil's career as an environmental lawyer and displays each and every one of his wins alongside her diplomas. When William Black II decides he wants to be a doctor too, she writes him a shining letter of recommendation to her alma mater. Sarah, who has always been the spitting image of her father, joins and eventually takes over Jacob's mechanic shop.
On occasion, Bella fights with Jacob, even though he's the love of her life. Despite this, she is never afraid of him, and he never stops her from doing what she wants. Instead, he goes out and works on his cars and comes back in an hour later with slightly greasy hands and a bouquet of flowers from Emily Young's little garden, planted to celebrate her cousin Leah Uley's wedding. Bella makes him muffins, recipe courtesy of Sue and missing bites courtesy of Seth, Colin, Sarah, Will, and Claire, with raspberries, not blueberries, just how Jake likes them. They make up, and they make changes, and they go on.
Eventually, both slower and quicker than she realizes, Bella gets old. She lives in fear of losing herself, of losing her husband and her children, like her grandmother had. But she remembers her grandkids to the very end, even gets to meet her first great-grandchild a week before it happens. Her heart gives out before her brain does, too weak and too slow.
It was too full of love, the letter from Jacob says. Sarah reads it. Her father passed a day after his wife--simply too heartbroken to live without her. Much of the town of Forks and hordes of family attend their funeral, remembering a life well lived.
It is an unremarkable life, in the grand scheme of things. She does not live to be a thousand; she is no great beast, with speed like the wind and strength; she does not discover her powers or lead a great defiance. Bella Black, happy and human and surrounded by love, could never imagine wanting anything else.
#lee's wild scribbles#team jacob#twilight saga#jacob x bella#swanblack#tw: food#OK! that's all the tags for searching so now it's time for the really important tags: me rambling#this was extremely stream of consciousness pls be nice#it was also supposed to come with a lil video like my other little ficlet for this fandom but tumblr wasn't feeling it#also i have not edited this and i'm not going to so if you see a typo you keep that shit to yourself#this was written kind of as a reflection on how bella lowkey chooses to sacrifice so much of what makes life good to me in favour of edward#and how she like. gives up her personhood and future to be his and has no friends outside of the cullens and jake#(who is essentially being held hostage by reenactment)#twilight has such a weird relationship with f3minism. i should write about that at some point#(also this is not tikt0k. i censor words so that they don't turn up in tags bc i doubt ppl in the f3minism tag are looking for twilight fic
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ok, you know what, fuck it, fic recs post. historically i try not to rec works in progress or things i haven't commented on and i'm throwing that fully out the window for this because honestly, fucking whatever.
if you're on this list and i haven't been fully unhinged at you in the comments, please know that it's because (1) i'm the worst and (2) i'm trying desperately to calibrate so i hit 'enthusiastic' and not 'kind of frightening, actually'. i swear that i have written at least several sentences of a comment for every fic on this list, it's just that i'm genuinely impossibly slow, sometimes. it's me, not you.
my previous rec post is here, in case you missed that. as a bonus, special for this rec list and as a concession to the horrors, i am attempting to guess how much any given fic will fuck up the average person. obviously this is a ymmv kind of situation, but i'm trying, at least?
everything else under a cut because i am longwinded.
and found by @dangerouscommiesubversive, explicit, every possible combination of di feisheng/fang duobing/li lianhua | li xiangyi; bless, but i am not typing all that out. starting off with a wip where i haven't left a comment in like four fuckin' chapters, breaking those rules real good. this fic is a fucking ride. i will admit that i wasn't entirely convinced by the premise when i saw the blurb, but i am nothing if not willing to admit when i was wrong, and i was—once again—totally wrong. this is the fic where i was like 'ok but…is anyone really, like, desperate for gen z li xiangyi?' and then i read it and i was like 'ohhhhhh fuck yeah, ok, i get it, i was actually fully desperate for gen z li xiangyi.' he is. such a little prick. i love him. there has been something unexpected and delightful in every single chapter of this so far, plus a number of impressively memorable one-liners. this fic is fun and distracting and at least as of chapter seven, i'm gonna say it's not even gonna fuck you up. (please note that this is only through chapter seven!)
and the days are bright red by @junemermaid, explicit, di feisheng/fang duobing/li lianhua. rip to my beloved tumblr mutual @junemermaid, because they're getting called out twice in this list, but: tough. this fic is so delightful. featuring: memories of slut era li lianhua, the mortifying ordeal of being known, an entire box of historically accurate sex toys, fang duobing and di feisheng communicating (sometimes silently) in a way that unsettles li lianhua (back from his months-long sojourn), some very hot sex that is both very much about sex and also about trust and being perceived, casual intimacy, and fledgling tenderness. there are Emotions in this, and they get moderately intense, but it's a very kind and surprisingly gentle feel-good fic.
a drink under a clear window by @momosandlemonsoda, explicit, di feisheng/fang duobing and fang duobing/qiao wanmian. a fic that tackles the dreaded v-shaped polycule and makes it work. it seems like perhaps it shouldn't: fang duobing as the hinge, with di feisheng and qiao wanmian on either side, but actually it works perfectly, and is a lovely little glimpse at who they could become and the relationships they could have. i love the thought of qiao wanmian having come into her own as a leader in her own right, as more than just the representative of the ghost of li xiangyi, and this does a wonderful job of letting her be her own person. also, yes, ok, passing fang duobing back and forth like a party favour. this is a post-canon fic in which li lianhua is dead, but the fic itself a straightforward delight that is not at all fucky uppy.
the floating clouds, no resting place, again by @junemermaid (not sorry), technically gen and no ship, but functionally pre-di feisheng/fang duobing/li lianhua. the hair-washing fic. ohhhhhh. i started jotting notes for this post the day that i finished this fic, and i really thought that they were in any way comprehensive, but instead, what i typed and left as a note to myself was this:
and honestly. you're right, hypothetical reader, that doesn't totally make sense, but i stand by it regardless, because i apparently had that thought in [checks date i last saved the file] fucking august, and i'm still nodding along with myself. that is that this is like. this fic is very beautiful and will make you ache and will leave you slightly better at the end of it than you were at the beginning. it may also make you cry; this seems to me a fair enough trade.
the floating lotus by @anndramarama, not rated, di feisheng/li xiangyi. pre-canon stuff doesn't always work super well for me, but i really enjoyed this one, featuring di feisheng and li xiangyi when they're both so young and arrogant and full of themselves—and stupid and naïve and young and almost hopeful in a way that they're often not, in fic, for all that they were barely but children at the point of the donghai fight. they just seem…vulnerable, i guess, in this, in a way that i find touching. seasonal bonus: a ghost story, of a sort. given that this is set pre-canon, i think it's hard to come in any softer than bittersweet, which this very much is.
from here one's hand could pluck the stars by @howlingmoonrise, explicit, di feisheng/fang duobing. sex pollen fic! also featuring, a little surprisingly, given the premise, incredibly explicit and enthusiastic consent. look, this does what it says on the tin. di feisheng gets sex pollened. fang duobing is left to stay with him. the obvious ensues. unfortunately, it is also devastatingly charming? fang duobing is earnest and sweet; di feisheng is suffering beautifully terribly and trying so hard not to impose on fang duobing. they're both trying so hard to be respectful of what the other person needs, but they're also still bratty and argumentative and exasperated/exasperating, and it's very entertaining. this will fuck you up none percent, and may even make you laugh.
my war is done by @orchisailsa, explicit, di feisheng/fang duobing/li lianhua. another wip, with the first of three chapters posted, but please understand that this chapter is nearly 15k and so fucking good and compelling. li lianhua lives! and returns to find that things have changed in his absence, and perhaps that he has also changed in his absence, and now wants things that he had told himself he didn't mind not even having to lose. bonus: road trip and—delight!—only one room at the inn. also some other stuff that i'm not spoiling, but that made me absolutely gleeful. this is definitely a work in progress, and while i don't think there's anything particularly upsetting in the chapter, it does end on something of a cliffhanger. i personally do not feel that this is an upsetting cliffhanger, given the information about the fic that's presented in the tags, but it is technically a cliffhanger.
awkward paragraph break, but it's also important, i think, to mention the absolutely stunning (and not at all safe for work) companion piece to my war is done, you'd be there calling my name, by saki the cup bearer, who i don't think is on tumblr. it's fucking incredible; i am very decidedly not an artist but i cannot begin to imagine how much effort went into this. just. holy shit.
not unlike him in shape and form by @philologicalbat, explicit, fang duobing/li lianhua. ok look. i fucking love when things are deeply emotionally messy, and this is so emotionally messy. li lianhua who's been attracted to fang duobing and not doing anything about it, then discovering that fang duobing is shan gudao's son and is very much going to do something about it. he wants in this, and he's cunty and manipulative and mean about it, and sometimes also almost sweet, almost tender, and i love that, because i feel like li lianhua is very often an object of desire and very rarely gets to desire. i love how human he gets to be in this fic. this is not a sweet or gentle fic, but it does end in a moderately tender place that is tentatively hopeful, i think.
unbecoming heir by @bettercostume, explicit, di feisheng/princess zhaoling. i am taking your hand in mine and begging you to trust me. i know what this fic looks like. it's noncon and a weird pairing and you might look at it and expect it to go in the obvious direction and: it does not. this fic is so good that it makes me angry. it makes me miserable and everyone in this fic is trying so miserably, miserably hard, and it's fucking devastating. i spent literally thirty minutes earlier today yelling at my wife about it. i cannot rec this fic strongly enough. this is not a happy fic, but it is a good fic. it will absolutely fuck you up. this is very complimentary but also you will be fucked up.
until you are its primary evidence by @ilgaksu, mature, di feisheng/fang duobing/li lianhua. the single most effective use of what is effectively a prologue that i've ever seen in fic, are you kidding me. this fic is nothing at all like what i expected it to be, and is something far better than what i could have imagined. it's fang duobing's point of view, which is a rarity already, and it's so well done, and it allows him so much humanity and so much anger and grace alike. there are so many tricky things about this fic—the prologue, the fact that it's set in the amnesia arc, fang duobing's pov, the fact that it actually addresses canonical disabilities and illnesses without being fucking weird about it, the tension between the three of them—and it's all balanced so well. this has some emotionally heavier moments but ends tentatively happily; tentative only because it's set during the amnesia arc, and, well. we know what comes next.
as a final note: if you wrote one of these fics and feel that i've wildly misinterpreted the emotional tenor of the ending, please message me in whatever way you prefer and i will correct it. i would not normally presume to guess how things are likely hit people, as i am in many ways not anyone's ideal reader, but today it seemed like it was kinder to at least try.
#mysterious lotus casebook#fic recs#mlc fic#difanghua#liansanjiao#difang#fanghua#feihua#sorry to everyone who's seeing this post twice! it's just that i tried to correct one thing (missed a tag) and tumblr ate the whole post 💀#anyhow!#this is not what i had planned to do with my overnight last night#but it was an enjoyable couple of hours rereading all of these#so thank you very much for that#hopefully someone else who wants distraction will also find this useful#everyone please rest up and take care of yourself and stay hydrated and stuff ok? ok. good talk.#echoes linger#also i swear that i'm working on the comments thing#it's just that sometimes forming my thoughts into something audible to other people#feels very much like diy tooth extraction#the kind with rusty pliers and a shot of vodka#you know?#i'm working on it 💕
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Hi! I've been poking around looking for good BCS fics and I've read some of yours (Sweet Tooth and The Open Sea are my favorites, they're great!) and I wonder if you have any recommendations?
Hi! Sorry this took so long for me to get to - I wanted to do a little blurb for every fic, but it was holding me back from actually getting this done lol. Hope you're still around! (And thank you!)
Walt/Jesse: (these are all by the same author lol - really incredible work, and I've heard they're thinking about writing Lalo/Jesse which would explode my mind, so here's hoping!) I love you but I need another year all that remains take the money and run take only what you need
Lacho: Burmese Boxing In the Picture/The Learning Curve (same series) Bedtime Stories/Tuco's Friend pyrophile Manitoba/Learning to Blink for love, i will handle your sins What Comes Next oh, most holy death Unholy Communion Laloward: there interposed a fly Shoot Your Shot Goodmantraut: A Way Down Discretion/Discipline/Destruction
mcwexler: A Controlled Burn/Slip and Fall Season/Surviving in a Moving Landscape Eighty-Six Years
#i owe comments on so many of these#so if you see yourself here and i didn't comment - i'm sorry and i think about it every day and feel bad#better call saul#lacho#waltjesse#laloward#goodmantraut#mcwexler#asks#fic recs
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peoples whos main problem with jegulus is that it 'wouldnt be possible in canon' or main problem with jegulus fics is that 'them all being gay in the 70s doesnt make sense' is genuinely so insane to me
not only is there a million creative ways around these so-called problems but also my brother in christ you are on ao3. you are in the marauders fandom. what on earth made you think this was the place for only heterosexual realism?
'i like xyz but jily is canon. theyre the originals' THIS IS A FANFICTION
if you like jily more that is so fine. whatever floats your boat im so happy for you. but nothing should be seen as 'superior' in this fandom just because it is canon, this fandoms evolution of fanon with almost no source material is what makes it so special
#sorry for ranting but i keep seeing this take and its upsetting me because i feel like people are more concerned with content than community#this is also my issue with people just demanding content from fic authors#like if you think theres not enough jily or masculine sirius black or whatever youre mad about then WRITE IT YOURSELF#fandom exists on the principle of people creating the content they want to see instead of getting mad at others for not making it for them#marauders#jegulus#wolfstar
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I have been dealing with how much some people hate Gambit for TEN YEARS and one of these days (not today) I am finally going to snap and pull this story. TEN YEARS. TEN HUMAN YEARS.
#this person DID read the tags they just hate how the ot3 is being handled#which is a change from what I usually get#congratulations to marvel fandom for NOT BEING INSANE#because being in sw for years literally rewired my brain in a bad fucked up way#though you know having been dealing with this for the past ten years there's actually been a fairly dramatic shift#in the past five or six years (maybe a hair longer I'm not going through all of it) in The Thing People Hate#it used to be the ot3 IN GENERAL and increasingly it's 'oh my god they're CHEATING you are ADVOCATING CHEATING'#the things people hate in this fic are indicative of larger trends in fandom as a whole#which is mildly fascinating but also oh my god leave me alone#just don't read the damn TEN YEAR OLD FIC if you find yourself not liking it#leave me out of it#talking about feedback in public#anyway it took a while in mcu fandom but I finally got broken of my instinctive dread whenever I saw an AO3 comment notification#still feel it whenever I see a comment notification on wake/gambit though and probably will forever
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Are there still Crown Prince!Wilhelm stans out there despite S3 turning it into the number one problem? Please report, we need to unite and no, that doesn't mean that I don't support Wille's mental health and happiness and that I love the monarchy, some people out there must get it
#young royals#prince wilhelm#any crown prince wille believers speak up please don't let yourself be silenced alskdjdh#i'mma be loud and petty and just obnoxious about loving crown prince wille in contrast to what else i see and what the show says#it just feels so alienating these days and like you're wrong in finding crown prince wille interesting and preferring it#and you're not allowed to even express different thoughts bc canon told you this is how it is and how dare you want this life for wille#I wish i knew about more fics too that write about crown prince wille. it feels like that's forbidden to do now unless he's unhappy in it#and it's just shown how horrible it is and how trapped he is and exploring a different alternative with him actually being a competent +#confident crown prince in the future and simon and him still working out and working together and bring changes to the system#but the show has made sure the fans can't come up with their own interpretation and that's completely 'unrealistic' now#and going against canon and exploring a different possibility is somehow impossible now#and means you're an evil spokesperson for the evil monarchy#god forbid i want him as the fictional crown prince in this fictional show reading/writing a fictional story#stories where he renounces (and that's all I see nowadays implied or otherwise) are just not interesting to me and i hate it#i even try to avoid reading most drabbles bc of the implied reality they portray and barely go through the yr tag on ao3 anymore#when i say it's alienating to be in the fandom these days i mean it. it's tough and frustrating#anyway...anybody else feeling this way?#let me know so i can follow some more i really hope there are more active blogs#mine
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cradles your face
alex yes the monza fic is calling to you how else will we get to read about them having copious amounts of sex after charles’ win
😥
I fear the monza fic may just have to be written...
#idk#i'll see how I feel tomorrow#i'm supposed to be studying#either way it might be time to accept that the proposal fic doesn't want to be finished right now#i don't think forcing yourself to write things is good for the creativity and i'm also not that serious abt this ngl#the wips that want to be written make themselves loud and clear sometimes#<charles fucking max in a ferrari hoodie wip i am looking at you -_-#asks#yours verse
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'Graphic depictions of violence' and there's barely any violence at all let alone violent depictions of it.
#when you see a fic tagged like that you 'brace' yourself and then the fic doesn't deliver and now you're just there#where's my violence fic? where is it?#but jokes aside let's not exaggerate. if there are not graphic depictions of violence of any kind don't tag it#thank you#text#not art#ao3#fanfiction#me complaining#I think a lot of people use it as 'there is implied violence in this fic' which I feel like is wrong? could be me tho
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