#that drug-like euphoria
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The fight against dark places:
Against running away, against checking out of life forever, against nihilism, against depression, against hopelessness, against suicide.
Against accepting what someone else tells you that you are.
Cosmic entities telling you what you want, how to feel. "Go to sleep." "Become boundless."
"Give up your identity." "I won't be resisted." And if you do resist... I'll find a way to kill what you love, so you won't have a reason to resist anymore.
"Where if there were no rules? No pain, no prayer... just bliss. For everyone. Forever."
11x07
11x21
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Give up your humanity, your smallness
11x21
"I am the end of your struggle," Amara says. "Angels, demons...you all end up here," the Shadow says.
///
"Infinite peace, yes? Think about it. No pain. No regrets.
13x04
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And later.
THIS is the Empty... pretending to be Dumah. It's attacking Heaven to get to Jack, sure.
BUT CONSIDER:
...its troublesome reaction to seeing Cas again. First, the disbelief: "I thought you were supposed to be on Earth." (The Empty can't get to Earth.)
Perhaps, when it HEARS how much Cas cares about Jack; it realizes that Jack is a thing tying Cas to Earth. Or maybe... that it can use this opportunity to get what it really wants: the immediacy of having Cas quiet and willing, "in a place that is worse that Hell."
(I think of: "Hell is Hell for demons, too." If the Empty can't get back to sleep, then... perhaps where it lives is a terrible place to be.)
"Don't leave me."
*heavy breathing*
*stare*
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BONUS:
The Empty (in Dumah): "What does it want?"
"Jack."
HERE'S THE THING THOUGH.
Does it? Is that what The Shadow really wants? As the audience, we're heavily colored by Naomi's assumption here.
Perhaps after letting Cas go... it realized it wanted Cas back?
Castiel, run.
Like Amara, who wanted nothingness, for "everything to go away, everyone except you, Dean," ...perhaps the Empty wanted to soak in nothingness... alongside a companion.
Ever since it woke up, maybe it's learned the difference between being alone and being lonely?
#the shadow from the empty and amara are so similar#the amara AND the shadow will both undergo individuation#after awakened they take on new forms new identities they become *people* in a sense#interesting that it is amara then... who winds up giving up her identity in 15x19#and like it's just... jack has this connection too#that drug-like euphoria#amara stuff#amara and the shadow#the empty#spn 13x04#spn 11x06#spn 11x07#spn 11x21#spn 11x20#buddy voice from tombstone: i like to see the look on their face when they have nothing left#the empty is so so so SOOOOoooooo jealous of cas's behavior towards kelly and jack
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Rue Bennett
Euphoria 2019 -
#lgbt#lgbtq#lgbt pride#lgbtqia#euphoria#zendaya#rue bennett#hbo max#girls who like girls#gif#sex and drugs#wlw#sapphic#lesbian#wlw post#wlw love#wlw nsft#queer
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My bf bought me a dress I'm gonna cry
#its so gorgeous#and it looks really good on me!!!#i was terrified id look yknow man in a dress wearing it#but wow i actually look really nice!!!#gender euphoria is a hell of a drug#i also got a bunch of other cute clothes#we went irl clothes shopping so it was a lil scary but like#now ive done it i can do it again yknow?#anyways i am sosososososo happy rn
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I feel like psychoactive substances don’t work on me like they do on most people because my normal state of mind makes me feel like I’m trippy and stoned 24/7 as it is.
#“Feelings of euphoria” no??? What about this is euphoric? I feel numb and sleepy. Euphoric is what I am when I’m sober#Anyway I hate edibles (or at least the ones I have now)#weed mention#drugs tw#I don’t think I’m anxious enough to like what it does to me. I don’t want to feel numb; I want to see shrimp colors#and unfortunately shrimp colors are illegal where I live [sad hippie noises]#It definitely gets rid of half of my sensory issues but I’d rather not feel gelatinous all day long#It just makes me feel like I’ve had an allergy attack and had to take Benadryl and now I’m fighting to stay awake#I’d rather have achy fingers and toes thank you very much
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finally tried hydrocodone for my back pain and THIS is the ~big scary opioids~ they've been talking about?! i know they're still ykno, serious medication but. i. feel. fine! i even took my other medication todayy!? i'd be angry but im honestly just. WHAT. i'm not in pain! yall coulda gave me this YEARS ago but you just didnt! i shouldnt have had to have figured this out all on my own especially with how it coulda easily gone sideways if i didnt have some awareness of what im doing?? fuckkk the war on drugs man. fuck it. shit.
edit: to be clear no i am not prescribed this i found some in the house it aint mine
#in terms of euphoria and anxiolysis this is equivalent to the barbiturate i got prescribed for migraines. which.#granted i drained the bottle in a few days but#STILL.#i feel like i deserve to choose between severe ending pain that makes me near housebound and stuck in this recliner all day#and potential addiction#like i feel like i should have that choice#especially since they're coming out with more treatments and safety measures for opioid addiction#ALSO especially because denying me adequate pain management is leading me to abuse other shit in ways that have nearly Killed Me#fuck the medical system so hard#fuck#julian rants#opioids tw#drugs tw
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everytime i watch riverdale again i feel like im using chemical drugs, everytime i watch glee i feel like im using weed, the difference is subtle, but there
#barchie#bughead#beronica#betty cooper#kurtbastian#kurt hummel#just tagging my fav characters and ships for no reason#except hoping that this reaches the *right* crowd#santana lopez#glee#riverdale#riverdale is such a mess#like it changed themes about ten times before just leaning into the madness#it went from murder mystery to cult mystery to cult comedy mystery to paranormal#and then it just leaned into the crazy#and the camp#riverdale was very Camp™#it even went musical a couple of times!#i think it tried the euphoria vibe a couple of times too but it just didn't work#i have nightmares with betty in a wig#i feel like i have to add that i have never used drugs#just weed
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When Zeke takes drugs or has a manic phase, he smiles exactly like how his mother as the Smiling Titan smiles.
#mothers and daughters existing as wretched mirrors of each other#i love thinking about manic!zeke esp if the kids dont really know what his deal is they’re just glad he’s happy#he takes drugs to cope like a 50’s housewife#like if this is the only way he can feel euphoria then so be it#and its the rare moments where the warrior kids see zeke so energetic but its off and none of them really know why#until reiner’s in the scouts doing weed or smth with others and he’s like hey that dude’s as happy as zeke was–OH WAIT#zeke jaeger#zeke yeager#wow i have a lot of thoughts i should a fanfic about zeke being a drug user
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I AM SO FULL OF LOVE AND JOY!! :3 <33
#sometimes i worry that my “full of love” mood that's been going on is like. Unnatural? Like a state of euphoria brought on by drugs (cus i#take and antidepressant) and that ill eventually need to get off the antidepressant and itll go back to what everyone else feels. But also#maybe this is how normal emotions are supposed to work and im just not used to it cus i was Depressed and so feeling This much Genuine Love#And Joy feels unnatural to me#RambIing
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guys do you think Logan was so quick to get kidnapped because he needed a good dick or something? Cause like, if you’re hated all across the world for what he did, I doubt you’ll be getting any leftover 😻 or whatever, and like…. Maybe he was just tired of wanting a choice in who he bangs so he just lets this random masked guy kidnap him for a possible fling.
if you couldn’t tell, this is from my notes app from my waking up at 1:07 am due to my cats leaping up on me busy with my random psychologically concerning dream. Good day.
#Poolverine shitpost#I may need meds#guys if I was asked “are drugs good or bad”#i feel like I’d go into a whole ass rant about how it depends on the drug and the reason being#I’m preventing kids from becoming the next Rue from euphoria#Skibidi toilet#hawk tuah#i’m literally hearing hawk tuah everywhere… like if I hear someone say “talk to”#it will sound like hawk tuah and I feel so painfully rotted by decades worth of brain rot#rip
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The me of yesterday is a little bitch who doesn't know shit goddamn it I am gonna lean into this interest with my irls forever lmfaooo if y'all see me making my telegram handle some horribly corny Handsome Jack themed animal pun no you fucking don't okay I am Normal. I worked sooo hard to get perceived as like, a sparkledog despite being another dumb wolf but fuck man all that shit goes out the window when there's hot guys involved maybe my fursona does dress exactly like him now shhh don't even worry abt it
#I mean I'd really like to stop being into this so intensely like can we stop the ride now#but also my brain is releasing enough dopamine to put that mans office chair to shame rn#like. so fucking much I wont get into details but like recreational drugs aint coming close to the euphoria I am feeling good fucking god
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honestly great week for gender. got called a gentleman by a customer earlier this week (who was taking about me) and then got called a young fellow this morning.
10/10.
#personal#gender euphoria#listen the fact that i’m so self conscious about my voice and i always worry that my voice is the biggest sign that i’m not cis#and then i get gendered correctly by customers who only hear my voice like guys this makes me feel so happy#especially as my customer service voice is a higher pitch than my normal voice#like back a few months ago this would never happen#and i still get misgenderd a few times by customers but it’s not alll the time#t is a fucking wonder drug
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julie andem was really that bitch (celebratory), i have to say it. skam was so real and it took teenagers seriously and it portrayed their struggles with care and respect and without exaggeration, and it always made the point that looking for support in others is the best thing you can do, without ever feeling like an infomercial. also her directing was SO good bc no matter the actor, the scene always felt entirely real and you could see everyone thinking before they spoke, like they were real people having real conversations, and that's a feat!
#you can really feel that she talked to real teenagers while making it and also that she respected them#and to me it was just so right like these teenagers did drugs and had sex and hurt themselves but it never felt like euphoria#and they were young and shy and learned things but it never felt like an after school special#it was just real and that was so good#what a time <33
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Oh my GOD. This Jaime chapter… 😈 🥳 🍾 💃🏼 I am fucking high on life, oh my god, I don’t think I’ve had so much sheer diabolical FUN since the Dany-Olyvar-Young Griff clusterfuck
#the weirwood queen#MUAHAHA#I am GIDDY#is this what drugs feel like???#the ADRENALINE#the EUPHORIA#🤌🏻
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There is nothing I can do to explain the Effexor side effect of phasing/virtigo unless you’ve gone through it
#medication things#it’s truly the worst thing#you know that scene of euphoria where she like walks in the ceiling#that’s the closest I can get to describing it#u are on drugs but it’s none of the fun parts
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taecho a/b/o au where I am an alpha taehyung is omega and he is making me go like this
with his perfect perfect perfect lean toned long fleshy smooth silky soft perfect perfect body he probably smells like earth and ocean and honey and musk and strawberry and caramel and vanilla and my alpha needs to claim him so bad im going to bite him not just his neck I need to bite his thighs and arms but I will bite his neck and give him my mark and I will.breed him
military wife alpha era
#dont unfollow me#im on drugs and my kpop boys are going to war#also. no never mind no I think its mostly the drugs. affecting me#i was going to say something else but#its the drugs#like yeah I coming down with something most certainly (everyone in my household is sick and my throat is sore) and im getting like six hour#of daylight#but none of those things are anything compared to the drugs in my system my bloodstream#I think I would rather live my life without this#even if I am too inactive#too ineffective#too slow and useless and unproductive#than this speeded thing#im gonna rawdog life and#it will stop the euphoria I have rn also#but I think its better anyway#because . idk why#just . this is weird#it feels like im constantly falling off something#like im flying but im going down#and im not crashing its just the sensation of falling down#and its like . cool. I guess#like being drunk#sorta#but#its not#me#i dont think my brain is wrong...#I would rather it be wrong in its natural state than wrong like this#im not able to focus now anyway. not on reading or anything liek that
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