#medication things
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There is nothing I can do to explain the Effexor side effect of phasing/virtigo unless you’ve gone through it
#medication things#it’s truly the worst thing#you know that scene of euphoria where she like walks in the ceiling#that’s the closest I can get to describing it#u are on drugs but it’s none of the fun parts
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What order do you take pills in?
A followup post, because this has been fascinating!
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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hey STEB NATION (me and 5 other fish enthusiasts) how are we feeling
#do we think he needs sleep masks because his eyes are sensitive to light#do we think he's good at sewing things bc he's a medic#do we think he sleeps curled up bc idk bc my heart tells me so#we definitely do think he's selectively mute#arcane#steb arcane#arcane art#steb my love#steb x reader#viktor arcane#silco#jinx#steb#viktor x reader#monster fuqqer#hear me out#arcane fanart
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It was so important to me that Stolas was able to be sad throughout the entire episode. Usually media likes to rush a character's grief/depression/sadness. Like "Stop moping around" or "get over it already." Depression doesn't just go away. It is a persistent feeling of sadness.
His depression was also presented through various emotions/emotional states.
Lethargy
Crying
Anger / frustration
Self-blame
Not wanting company and being emotionally drained and unable to reciprocate
We even see him Smiling / Laughing which is so important because we see that he is still in there behind the sadness and tears. His laugh is not as lively as it once but he is still capable of smiling and finding joy.
His problems weren't fix in the end and his sadness didn't go away even if he has someone who loves him by his side (and even if he loves him too). And I think this is one of the best depictions I have seen of a depressed character in media in a long time.
#helluva boss#helluva boss sinsmas#helluva boss spoilers#stolitz#helluva boss stolas#stolas goetia#blitzø#helluva boss blitz#I really hope they address his medication soon#and his drinking problem#and Blitz's problems too of course#but right now Blitz is doing that thing when you tell yourself your problems aren't as important as your partner/friends
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"I LOVE THIS DOCTOR," "We go together, Doctor," etc, etc They're in love
Heavy's big into Medic, we get it, b-b-b- but where's the evidence that he's just as much into Heavy?? I give you:
#tf2#team fortress 2#tf2 medic#tf2 heavy#heavymedic#red oktoberfest#also get behind me doctor#the worst thing about getting into tf2 is having to draw the equipment man
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he would do so well at this
#doctorsiren#mob psycho 100#reigen arataka#mp100 fanart#digital art#my art#procreate#he’d do all those roleplay ones (not like the weird bf ones. I mean more like the medical ones or like shopkeeper ones)#because he just has a ton of knowledge about random things
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You are well within your right to be angry about the help you didn't get and should have gotten.
You are well within your right to be angry about having your needs neglected.
You are well within your right to be angry.
#this post is mainly about physical disabilities and needs not being met#things like medical neglect or refusal of services for whatever reason#able bodied ppl with non-physical disabilities are allowed to like and reblog and relate and stuff too ofc!#But I made this post in part for myself#to reassure myself that it's ok that I never received help for my chronic pain as a child despite it being bad#cripple punk#cpunk#cripplepunk#physical disability#actually disabled#physically disabled#angry cripple
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day 28
Just friends having a normal one
#tf2#heavy weapons guy#medic tf2#tf2 heavy#tf2 medic#heavymedic#red oktoberfest#heavy tf2#drawing them drinking together is one of my favorite things now
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heavy is the biggest gossip
he pretends to be unintrested and quiet but he is actually secretly listening to everybody else's business, and since his grasp on english is not that strong some members on the team aren't as worried of him overhearing things,
than at the end of the day he goes to the med bay and reports all his findings to medic and the two of them just gossip together while medic performs surgery on heavy until the sun goes down
#tf2#tf2 heavy#heavy#heavymedic#red oktoberfest#tf2 headcanons#tf2 shitpost#heavy tf2#tf2 medic#team fortress 2#heavy weapons guy#i mean c'mon look at who he hangs out with#the quiet and reserved guy thing is actually just a front#tf2 headcanon#my art#Bo’s art
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Normalize letting trans kids live.
Every trans child on this planet deserves to be safe & supported.
#text post#lgbtq#lgbt#trans#transgender#nonbinary#queer#gender queer#genderfluid#nex benedict#say their name & the name of every other trans people killed from hate#Nex deserved to grow up. And they deserved to feel safe at school. neither of those things will happen now.#when I first saw this story a couple days ago I was enraged to read that not only were they denied medical care they were also suspended
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you're in the habit of denying yourself things.
if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.
but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?
what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.
and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.
you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.
so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.
it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.
sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.
oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.
#warm up#this isn't good#writeblr#this is complicated by the fact i can't stand up too long or i fuckken pass out and <3 hit my damn head <3#but i did take a deep breath and buy myself the stupid rice cooker#and!!! a very cheap sushi kit!!! i have been wanting to try making sushi for literally YEARS#the kit was only like 15 dollars!!!! and i haven't purchased it bc?!!??!?!?!?!!?#..... i didn't get the mixer tho that felt. like a lot. like too much.#on my list is a kitchenaid. one day when i get a check and i have paid off my student debt#and medical debt#i will put that first little bit of cash#into a kitchenaid 5qt stand mixer (with attachments)#i really do just go into their refurbished section and stare lustily at each option#but yeah i feel guilty about the rice cooker even tho i know for a fact this damn thing is gonna be a lifesaver#oh shit also fuck i forgot to mention . poached eggs
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Say cheese!! 📸
Such handsome smiles :)
(i always seem to grow fond of the white background version, so have that too)
Wanted to practise rendering faces and what better way to do it then with these lads!!
#hey look i did that thing!#tf2#tf2 fanart#team fortress 2#tf2 scout#tf2 soldier#tf2 pyro#tf2 demoman#tf2 heavy#tf2 engineer#tf2 medic#tf2 sniper#tf2 spy
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Okay now I've gotten myself angry again. Every time a medical professional is abusive/neglectful the overwhelming response is "Their job is so stressful and underpaid! They deal with so many rude and abusive patients, of course they're like that!!"
You know who else has stressful, underpaid jobs and deal with rude and abusive customers a lot? Retail workers. But if a retail worker started assaulting all of their customers you'd hear all about it, wouldn't you? The consequences would be enormous, and there would be an overwhelmingly negative response, even if it was exclusive to rude customers.
Now imagine this was the norm, and it was socially acceptable, encouraged even, in retail jobs to abuse and assault your customers whenever you feel like it, for any perceived sleight, just because they need to buy groceries and you have to serve them. It would be all over the news, it would be an international scandal with arrests all over the place, there would be exposés of the secret culture of abuse and assault in retail workplaces on every channel and news source with interviews with the victims. Everyone would know about it and everyone would care, because of course that's fucked up.
So why is it different when your victims are sick and rely on you to survive?
#yes this does also double as a cop analogy like many MANY things when it comes to medical professionals#cripplepunk#cripple punk#disability#actually disabled#uk nhs#ableism#medical abuse#medical trauma#Only a matter of time before I get cussed out by a nurse for this. Nurses really are the cops of healthcare#PS. retail workers would be FAR more justified imo#100#500#1k
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♟️Let him believe that he's winning
#art#tf2#tf2 fanart#team fortress 2#tf2 medic#tf2 heavy#heavymedic#red octoberfest#medic makes heavy think hes winning and then just destroys him#he would never let heavy win (or anyone honestly)#sorry if i draw too much heavymedic its the only thing that makes me feel better :(
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medic girl dinner 2
#tf2#tf2 shitpost#tf2 medic#tf2 engie#tf2 engineer#tf2 spy#i feel that i should clarify i dont have a thing for cannibalism i just think this is funny#fanart#my art#sketch#also engie is getting his arm amputated for the gunslinger not just cause medic forgot to pack lunch
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