#that doesn’t make sense either. I do not understand

[kateschi]

same book, different chapters

synopsis: an ordinary evening takes a turn when katsuki expresses what you've always known but never expected to hear.

pairing: timeskip!bakugou katsuki x f!reader

being with katsuki is a lesson in unspoken understanding. you knew who he is long before you started dating him—loud, brash, and not the type to share his feelings openly.

but it didn’t take long to realize there’s so much more to him than that. his love is quiet, reserved, and shown in the details:

how he pulls you out of the way of a passing car, or how he remembers the smallest things, like your favorite kind of tea or that you prefer your coffee without sugar.

and that is enough for you. mostly.

you didn’t expect him to be the kind of boyfriend who says "I love you" with ease. katsuki isn’t like that. it isn’t something you hold against him either.

but every now and then, a small part of you wonders what it would be like to hear him say it—to hear those three words slip past his lips in the same way they had from yours.

you say it first, a quiet “I love you” in the middle of a peaceful night when the world outside feels still.

his response comes in the shape of hugging you tighter, securing you in his arms. however, he doesn’t say it back, and you don’t expect him to. you don’t need him to.

still, there are times when you find yourself holding your breath, wondering if one day he’ll actually verbalize it.

it isn’t that you doubt his feelings. katsuki isn’t one to waste time on things or people he doesn’t care about.

you know how much he cares by the way he silently takes care of you, always putting you first in his own way, even when his words are rough around the edges.

it’s just that sometimes, words have a way of making things feel more real.

tonight is one of those easy evenings you cherish—one where you don’t have to think too much about anything. the two of you are in your kitchen, making dinner together, though “together” is generous.

you’re doing most of the work while katsuki stands next to you, arms crossed, casting a critical eye over everything you do.

“you’re putting too much salt,” he says, the frown on his face making you smile.

“pretty sure this is the exact amount the recipe says to use,” you reply, amused at how serious he always gets when it comes to food.

“tch, that recipe’s wrong. I could’ve made this better with my eyes closed.”

“then why don’t you?” you tease, turning your head to glance at him. his gaze is sharp as usual, but the small curve in the corner of his lips betrays him.

“maybe I’ll cook next time,” he grumbles, looking away like the very idea of giving in bothers him.

you laugh softly, enjoying the banter. this is something you love about him—how even in these simple moments, his presence fills the space with a sense of ease.

there’s no pressure to be anything other than yourselves, even when his blunt honesty clashes with your more relaxed approach.

as you stir the pot, you can’t help but let your thoughts wander back to the three words. you know katsuki isn’t the type to say things until he’s ready, and you respect that.

but part of you is curious—would it ever come naturally to him, or would it always be something unspoken between the two of you?

still, as you stand there, the warmth of his steady presence beside you, you realize that maybe you’re okay with it remaining unspoken. katsuki shows his love in ways that don’t need words to validate them.

and then, without warning, you feel his arms wrap around your waist from behind, his chin resting on your shoulder. you freeze for a moment, caught off-guard.

“katsuki?” you ask, your voice soft, as you lean into him instinctively.

he doesn’t answer right away, just holds you there. his touch isn’t hesitant, but it is different from the usual casual touches you’ve grown used to.

“you’re annoying sometimes,” he mutters, voice low in your ear.

you chuckle, relaxing further into his hold. “I know.”

there’s silence for a beat, and then: “but I love you anyway, idiot.”

you blink, unsure if you’ve heard him correctly. you turn your head slightly, trying to see his face, but he buries it against your neck, hiding his expression. “did you just—?”

“don’t make a big deal out of it,” he mumbles, voice suddenly gruff, though you can hear the embarrassment beneath the words.

a smile breaks across your face, warmth spreading through your chest. you didn’t expect it, but that makes it all the more special. he isn’t saying it because the moment demands it.

he isn’t saying it because you’re waiting. he says it because he wants to, because he feels it.

“I’m not,” you reply, trying to sound nonchalant but failing miserably as your happiness bubbles up in your voice. “but…I love you too.”

you feel his grip tighten around you and a kiss pressed to your shoulder.

kofi — navigation — masterlist

do not copy, translate, or plagarize

[obxanon]

Addressing the OBX drama and the speculations:

Was JJ’s Death planned?

No, Rudy asked to leave the show. It wasn’t something the writers planned. He didn’t want to renew, the writers were rightfully upset and then decided to kill JJ off.

Did the writers/producers create an uncomfortable set?

No, they didn’t. This post is not true. The brothers were never inappropriate.

Was Madison a bully on set?

I’ve seen a post going around of someone saying Madison was a bully, controlling the set, and bluntly treating Rudy and crew members like crap. That is NOT true. 

Was Rudy’s decision sudden?

Yes and No. No as in he let the Pates know ahead of time he didn’t want to continue (some time during the strike, so they had time to change what was already written). Yes, as in they were shocked by it.

Was there on set drama between Rudy and the Pates?

Yes, there was many disagreements/personal problems during s4. Yes, Elaine was involved and so was Lilah Pate. They are civil now.

Why did every ship but Jiara get a still?

The jiara still does exist but idk why it was not released. My source doesn’t know either and I don’t want to spread something not true. Rudy and Madison took pictures just like everybody else did.

Why did the cast chemistry seem off in part 2?

They shot episodes 1-5 first, THEN 10, then 6-9. The cast didn’t know rudy asked to leave until they received the script for episode 10. You can tell there was a drastic change between JJ and Kiara in part 2 because after the cast found out, Madison was upset with Rudy and his decision, so she didn’t put in as much effort into the scenes with him. She was upset because she knew that would mean the near end of obx and her character… in a way.

Was there alternate endings?

Yes, but that was only because they wanted to see if rudy would change his mind. There was even scenes where a funeral was shot (obviously they didn’t air it so I’m assuming they’re saving it for s5). From March-June of 2024, they spent the entire time doing reshoots of some scenes. That is why some things don’t make sense.

Did Rudy and Madison talk on set?

Yes, but not closely or anything. They’re not friends, they just did the scenes they had to do and that was it. All those people saying they’re hiding their friendship from the cameras or whatever… that is not true sorry. The pates can’t force them to act like best friends as long as they were doing their scenes.

Why did Jiara have “less” than everybody else?

It’s true that Jiara scenes were toned down. Part of it was Rudy asking for it. Madison didn’t care as much. Another part was just Rudy and Madison not doing more than what the script asked.

Was Elaine uncomfortable with Jiara scenes?

Yes, and she has been since s2. It got worse during s3 and obviously s4. That was part of the conflict.

What is the Rudy and Madison Drama?

Obviously what happened between them is private. It wasn’t the fans. The fans were more so the catalyst to something that had been brewing. 

It is true that the girlfriends are involved and that they weren’t happy. Madison hurt Rudy, but not by being a bully. It was emotionally. The feeling was then returned on his end and it just got worse from there. It didn’t help when the girlfriends and fans were involved. It is true that it’s not a coincidence this happened when they both got involved with relationships. Most of you have speculated correctly, that is all I will say. I think you know by now what I’m trying to say.

Also when I say fans, I don’t mean the “shipping.” They never cared about that. What I do mean is that all this drama happened when Jiara fans were at their peak. Them wanting to see those characters together put Rudy and Madison in a problematic situation because they knew they couldn’t avoid each other on screen. Instead they just did so off screen.

Should the Writers/ Directors/ Producers stepped in?

Yes, but what I need you guys to understand is that these writers were basically father figures to those actors. They watched them grow their careers, supported them, made them who they are now. It’s hard when you spent so much time with each other and became a genuine family. Even their conflict with Elaine was hard because Jonas knew her family, his wife treated her like a daughter, and lilah treated her like a sister. They had every right to be bitter because from their POV, it’s basically like “hey I trusted you to bring my project to life and now I’m being forced to go in a direction I never wanted to go in.”

What’s going on behind the scenes right now?

A mess. They knew it would be bad but infact it is worse and they know that.

Am I reliable?

Honestly I don’t care if you believe me or not. You didn’t before and I got attacked (literal death threats in my inbox). I’m just a messenger. I’ve given you info before and clearly I didn’t lie about it. It’s up to you to decide.

[revelboo]

I am LIVING for your starscream content, your writing style is absolutely magnetic and keeps me waiting for updates 24/7!! Thank you for your service to this fandom, you’re a godsend 🫡

Thank you!

Inside Out Pt 2

TFO Starscream x Reader

• “Stop making that sound or I’ll stop you,” he snarls, feeling your little hands touching everything inside him in a mad panic at being trapped in his canopy in alt mode. The threat works, though and those awful, sharp cries of terror that are clawing through his processor finally peter out until all he can hear is your ragged, frightened breathing. And even that rubs him the wrong way, because it is wrong. That unwanted sense of rightness that touching you brought him, tarnished by that fear and twisting about his spark. He hadn’t wanted to take you, but there was no leaving you. Something in him had settled the moment his servos had closed around you, chaining him even if he doesn’t understand it.

• The monster had become a jet again while holding you too tightly in a massive hand. You’d been sure you’d be crushed as he transformed around you, but somehow you’d found yourself awkwardly sprawled inside the jet when he was done, unharmed. That doesn’t explain why or where he’s taking you, though. Your throat is raw from screaming to be let go and you curl into a ball in the pilot’s seat, pressing your face into the side bolster. That feeling of familiarity and comfort whispers through you and you hate it, know it’s a lie, a trap.

• Striding through the base, he’s aware of optics on him and the human dangling from his servos and you’re thankfully silent without additional threats. Lip curling, his wings flare aggressively, meeting stares head on until they look away without questioning him. As the SIC, if he chooses to take this weak little organic, it might be questioned, but never to his face. You’re shaking again, breathing hitching oddly as he lets himself into his quarters and grits his denta. Trying to figure this out. Touching you reminds him of before the betrayal, when he’d been respected not just feared. It’s a curious sense of longing he’s not entirely sure he enjoys as he sets you down on his berth to try and sever that connection, but it’s still there, pulling at him. Calling to him. “What did you do to me?” He rasps, servos flexing angrily.

• He can feel whatever this is, too then. That’s not at all comforting as you look around for any escape short of flinging yourself off the high surface he’s placed you on. With the way he’s glaring at you, that option is beginning to have its appeal. “I’m not doing anything.”

• Hands slamming down on the berth on either side of you, guilt sizzles through him when you cry out and stumble back to fall. And then just stare up at him in a terror that makes him want to reach for you, soothe that fear away. He hates it even as he aches with that need. “Don’t lie,” he growls, unable to reach out to touch you, unable to back down. Chained to you against his will.

Previous

[avianconcept]

Agency, value systems, and growth: the fate of the Perfect Court tattoos.

Been thinking about the Perfect Court tattoos today, and I’ve finally decided what I personally hope happens to Jean’s. I know there's a lot of discussion about a cover up like Kevin’s, suggestions like a flower, a sun, a fleur-de-lis; and I see that, but I raise you: he gets it completely removed. 

I think it has something to do with what the tattoos mean to each character. More specifically, how each character got them, and what that means to them. Most of this comes from a quote I found on my last re-read of TKM: 

The first time someone asked about Riko’s and Kevin’s tattoos, Riko hadn’t beat around the bush. He was the best striker in the game, he said, and he wanted everyone to know it. The story changed a little when Jean made his first public appearance with a “3” on his face. Riko was supposedly handpicking the future US National Team. He called it the ‘perfect Court’, and even though it was unofficial and unbelievably arrogant, his talent and upbringing gave some credibility to the idea. ‘

According to Neil in the first book, Riko and Kevin had been sharpie-ing on their numbers since they were children. This quote adds some more crucial context to that. It establishes that Riko and Kevin’s 1 and 2 came before the perfect court, and that the perfect court was what Riko decided their 1 and 2 (and newly minted 3) meant. This bit is what changed it for me, I think. 

Riko and Kevin are both referred to as the sons of exy. Both are heirs to the game, Riko through his uncle and Kevin through his mother. They do it to signal their place in the world of exy– heirs, future best in the game, destined for greatness. And then Jean comes along, and Riko changes the narrative. He comes up with the perfect court, and tells the world. The perfect court are his chosen players (read: his property). It furthers his control and possession of Kevin, who is allowed to be excellent, just not better than Riko. Kevin can be good, he just has to be good Riko’s way, subscribe to RIko’s model of success. 

Riko dies with his tattoo on his face. He dies clinging onto the idea of the perfect court, that he is the best, and that the only way to be the best is through pain and abuse. There is no real change for Riko in the series, so it fits that the way he’s marked himself (read: the way he defines himself) doesn’t change either. 

Kevin gets his covered up with the infamous chess piece. For Kevin, the challenge is reclaiming the sport that is also his birthright. He is physically free of Riko and Tetsuji, but mentally, he isn’t. Even with states between them and a new team, he is still understandably afraid of standing up to Riko. It goes against the status quo that has been beaten into him, and it takes him a while to be able to fully leave them and their limits behind. What holds Kevin back is that his greatness has always been defined. It has been defined by Riko, upheld by Tetsuji. He can be second best, a Raven, a prince to Riko’s King. Kevin changes his tattoo right before the final game– in order to beat Riko, he has to first reject Riko’s hierarchy, the limiting belief that was forced onto him that Riko was best, Riko was king. To me, its extremely fitting that Kevin’s evolution involved him putting his own mark on his talent. Instead of challenging Riko for ‘King’, or for that 1, he invents his own symbol. For Kevin, it's a reclamation of a game that was always partially his– just on his terms now. 

Neil’s tattoo gets burnt off by his father’s henchmen. This also fits well in my mind, because in my opinion, Neil’s number one challenge wasn’t actually Riko. Riko was Neil’s adversary, but Neil’s true terror was his father. The tattoos and their removal/evolution appear to be symbolic of the character’s growth, so it makes sense that Neil’s wasn’t on his face for long, and was taken off by (basically) his father. Each of the perfect court members had something keeping them trapped, things that wouldn’t let them grow into who they were supposed to be. Riko’s was the wound of his fathers rejection, and the toxicity created and maintained by Tetsuji. Kevin’s was Riko, and by extension Tetsuji. Neil’s is his father. Unlike Kevin, Neil’s not trying to be the best exy player in the sport. The sport makes him feel less like no one and nothing, and his continued playing is an expression of his will to live and his desire for personhood and a future. Neil wants better than what he has at the beginning of TFC, and the thing keeping him from that isn’t Riko. Sure, Riko is connected to the Moriyamas, and Ichirou owns his contract now, and Neil fights with Riko a lot. But to me, the thing that caused him real terror and stripped him of his personhood and autonomy was Nathan. Riko branded him with the 4, and Nathan’s people took it off, as if to say, “No, Riko isn’t who you have to reckon with, it’s me.” Neil’s internal fight was with being the butcher’s son, not with being number four. 

Jean’s situation is best described by a line in the EC– Jean never asked for this. 

In his own words, he loved exy, and was excited for what he thought was an opportunity to improve, but it doesn’t seem like he was ever vying for greatness. Then his father sold him, he was given the 3, and he was made perfect court. 

Much like Neil, didn’t have a say in his involvement. Unlike Neil, Jean adopts the mentality and hierarchy of the perfect court as his truth. Riko’s estimation of his value becomes his own. 

For Jean, the 3 has a lot to do with pain and self worth. In TSC, the only time Jean speaks positively about himself is when he calls himself perfect court, or when he talks about himself as a backliner. He has been conditioned that the only place he has worth is on the court. Nothing is important about him, just about what he is, the position he occupies. Where his personhood and bodily autonomy is denied over and over, his talent cannot be denied on the court. He is allowed to matter on the court, and nowhere else. In a sense, that 3 becomes the only thing about him that could be his. 

The other thing about the 3 is that he didn’t ask for it, but he has bled for it. So much of his relationship with the Ravens is defined by his rank.  Even though the Ravens do not like Jean as a person, they want to be his partner, to have that 4. The reason someone protects Jean from repeated sexual assault is that 3, and how it could lead to a 4. This is why Zane strikes a deal with him, why Grayson goes all the way to the Gold Court to hurt him. It is what the sexual assault from the backliners is blamed on. The 3 was given to Jean as a mark of something he didn't ask to be a part of, and then he was forced to fight tooth and nail to keep it.  It became the defining part of his identity because he wasn’t allowed to have anything else. He wasn’t even allowed to have his name. 

In my opinion, I think that the ultimate expression of Jean’s growth would be to take the tattoo off. He doesn’t have to subscribe to that value system. Covering it would feel like half assing it. He can change it, but he has to keep a tattoo of some sort, because Riko put one there. 

Note that I don’t think of the cover up the same way for Kevin. For Kevin, exy was likely always going to be important to him, with Kayleigh as his mother. He is inheriting it, same way Riko is, and this inheritance is symbolized by that 1 and 2. Kevin wanted to be the best, and so the ultimate expression of his healing is him becoming the best his way. Jean has his tattoo because he is seen as an object, a talent investment belonging to the Moriyamas. What is a limit for Kevin is a brand for Jean. 

For Jean, I think true freedom wouldn’t be freedom to be the best, it would be not having to be the best. It would be not having exy be the most important thing in his life. To not need to defend something he didn’t want. I hope he becomes so sure of his worth in the world, and so sure of his own autonomy that he doesn’t need the 3 to tell him he’s worth something. I hope he realizes that he is his own before he is anyone else's, and doesn’t need to carry around a value that someone else gave him.  

In TSC, the legacy, abuse, and dehumanization of the Nest is killing Ravens as soon as the Nest is taken away. Without the strict environment and the imposed value systems the Nest and team gave them, the Ravens crumple. They seem to feel they can't go back (I suspect that whether ‘back’ means back to their old lives or back to the Nest is different for every Raven), and that death is their better option. Ravens don’t seem to be meant to survive outside the Nest. It is designed to be all consuming. Jean doesn’t know who he is if he isn’t a Raven, if he isn’t perfect court, if he isn’t ‘3’ anymore. To live again, he has to leave the perfect court and its poison behind. He has to learn himself again, to rebuild and repair and create out of nothing. 

Neil says it about Grayson, that he could have chosen to walk away from Riko’s poisoned legacy, but it applies to all Ravens. To survive, to live a life worth living, they have to chose to fight their way out of that kind of thinking. Taking the tattoo off feels like him choosing to leave the Nest behind. Jean taking it off represents him shedding that entire ideology. No three, no expectation, just him and whoever he wants to be. 

In short, the toxicity that the perfect court represented killed Riko with its symbol still on his face. 

The Moriyama’s never really owned Neil, and they weren’t who he had to overcome. The tattoo was never going to be around long. 

Kevin was held back from his birthright. His potential was conditional, and there was a leash on him. He needed to reclaim the game that would always be his, mark himself in his own image. 

Jean needs to see himself as a person beyond his place on the court. He needs to walk away from the perfect court ideology and reclaim himself, with no one’s mark on him. 

[puck-luck]

May I please request for 1 of Clubs with Trevor Zegras, my sweet Andy? You already know I had to pick my sweet Trevor

Requested by Miss Brynn (@sweetestdesire) <3 xo hope you enjoy

Warnings: dumbification, choking mentioned, angry Trevor, unprotected p in v, MEAN Trevor, degredation, name-calling, mentions of praise ofc bc i love to mix the two <3 WC: 1,026

When Trevor is angry, he stays angry as long as he can. He’s wont to hold a grudge and to come home stewing, especially after a game where he lost or where he felt he didn’t perform well enough. Fortunately, after so much time spent together, and very compatible sexual habits, you know exactly how to react to his bad moods.

It was a surprise the first time it happened– Trevor had been close to coming, his hips pumping into yours at an unreal and unrelenting pace. His hand was squeezing your throat in the way you’d always loved and begged for. You were lightheaded, eyes rolling back just a bit, and Trevor was taken with the look on your face. 

“Fuck,” he cursed. “You like it when I fuck you stupid, baby?” 

And God, you do. You love it when Trevor gets rough and takes control, barking out orders and then doing it himself when your mind takes just a little too long to process what’s going on. After the first time he mentioned it, it became a regular trope in your escapades: Trevor doing everything he can to render your head empty, then gloating about it. 

Which is how you got here today. Trevor got into a few verbal spats with a guy on the other team, which eventually culminated in a brawl in the third period that left Trevor’s feathers ruffled. He came home stewing, mumbling about this guy who had it personally out for him from the get-go and he doesn’t know why. You were in the crowd at the game, so you saw something similar and you didn’t know why either, until one of your more hockey-friendly friends texted you and said that Trevor’s enemy had played for the Ducks one upon a time. You didn’t know if they ever overlapped– and it turned out that their careers didn’t. So the anger and resentment didn’t make much sense to you, even at the end of the night. 

What did make sense to you was that you were in for a long night. You shouldn’t have felt as excited as you did. You shouldn’t feel as excited as you do.

You’re in the midst of it now. Trevor has you bent over the kitchen counter– you couldn’t even make it to the bedroom. He’s fucking into you from behind and the skin of your behind is warm from the number of times that Trevor’s palm has made contact with it. His slaps are harsh and mean, even. He knows your boundaries, so he’s not pushing past them. His frustration has always been welcome in this way– while his cock is inside you, or when it’s about to be. 

“Put your leg up,” Trevor commands. 

You’re already on your tiptoes, trying to find leverage against the counter. Your mind is delaying like you’re listening to a different language that you don’t quite understand. After a minute, you lift your leg and try to hook it along the counter. The surface is slippery, so your leg falls and you have to try again. 

Trevor helps, just a tad. His strong hand goes to the back of your thigh, pressing your leg into the hard edge of the marble. There’s no give and it’s digging into your skin, likely leaving a mark, but you don’t care. The new angle has your vision turning spotty from pleasure.

“Pathetic,” Trevor spits out, although the insult sounds much more like praise in your deluded mind. “Look at you. You can’t even do what I ask without help.”

You moan his name wantonly, acknowledging his words with the sound. 

It’s too quick of a response for Trevor– he hasn’t rendered you dumb enough. He wants your mind to lag for even longer, so he delivers another smack to the globes of your ass before bringing his hand to the back of your head. He pushes your head until your cheek is flush against the cool tile, the sensations competing in your mind and confusing you further. All the while, Trevor is working his hips faster and harder. His cock plunges into your heat with lewd noises and brutal meetings of your g-spot and his tip. 

“Shut up,” Trevor growls. “The only thing I want to hear out of you are screams, baby. I’m going to fuck every last thought out of this pretty little head. I’m going to make you come so hard that you can’t even fucking speak.”

He pushes your head once more before pulling back and securing his hold on your waist, able to keep you in place to better meet his thrusts. He bends at the waist enough for his lips to meet the curve of your shoulder. He kisses in a moment of sweetness before he mouths over your skin, scraping his teeth along and biting down as you try to push yourself up and lean into his touch. He’s going to leave a mark, and better yet, you want him to.

“Fucking cock-dumb,” he mutters after he unclenches his jaw. He lathers his tongue over the bite, then stands so that he can use his whole force to fuck into you. You’re close and he shows no signs of stopping. 

You know that even when you come, he’ll keep going until you’re releasing over him again and again. It’s lucky– you’re able to clean the tile floor much faster than your bedsheets. In fact, just when you think you’re done, Trevor will probably fuck you senseless again, on your hands and knees on the kitchen floor. But that’s all still to come– for now, there’s a sting in your shoulder and burning heat across your ass. There are still some words floating around in your brain, but they slowly, slowly, slowly evaporate into atomic-sized particles. There was something here, once… before Trevor started fucking you. It’s hard to remember what. You’re all consumed by the boy behind you, with his biting words and lethal thrusts. It’s only once he’s said that you’re good, his good girl, that you understand that you’ve come underneath him for the first time and soon, you will again.

[chevelleneech]

If Buddie happens, Buck being Eddie’s first and last is the only real outcome.

This is long, but if you read it, hopefully it makes sense.

Was reading a fic that made me think about the angst sure to come from Buck not wanting to date Eddie right away, because he’ll be afraid of what Tommy said, regarding someone’s first queer partner typically not being their last.

That has to come back around and mess with Buck, otherwise it was a cheap way to break them up given all the other reasons that would have made more sense. As such, if Buddie is the plan, that has to be part of the initial conflict keeping them apart.

However, I would also hope the story between them is resolved in a way that doesn’t paint Buck and Eddie’s individual queer discoveries with the same sort of brush strokes. Thus far, Buck kissed and man and was like, “Yeah, that makes sense. I’m a boy, girl, and everybody in between kisser.” Whereas Eddie is seemingly going to go through an experience where he either rediscovers his sexuality once he starts letting himself remember what it’s like to not be repressed, or he’ll be hit in the face with it and realize why he’s been so unhappy for so long. Either one is good.

What I’m looking for in terms of them getting together, if it happens, is Eddie getting to decide if Buck is his first and/or last. Because we know Buck will not want to ruin their friendship and be caught up in letting Eddie be happy and explore this new side of himself even though Buck never got to explore. (Unless they finally let him in 8x07 and 8x08). But, I’m getting g long winded. What I’m trying to say is, I would like to see Eddie decide exploration isn’t what he wants, instead of having it sort of pushed on him due to Buck’s insecurities.

I’d like to see Eddie understand his new sexuality, discuss it with Hen or Bobby or whomever he trusts, I’d even like to see him talk to someone in his family and ask them if they knew or had any inclination at all, because we didn’t get that with Buck. They kind of just took what we as a fandom theorized and made it canon. “Buck is bi and it’s been obvious to everyone.” So Hen jokes about it and no one is even slightly curious as to when he made this discovery of self, except Maddie because… because. She joked about him liking men, but sure, she’s the one who didn’t except it.

Anyway, point is, I’d like to see Eddie be proactive about it. Try to figure out if he was the only one who didn’t know that he liked men. And I would like to see that lead to him deciding he doesn’t need a first queer experience partner to guide him, because Eddie has been through serious relationship before, and also grew up much faster than Buck had to in that regard.

Eddie had to become a father and a husband (at least emotionally, because he wasn’t exactly present as either for very long early on) at 18 years old. So he knows what it’s like to settle down and move in and work to pay bills and compromise (sort of) with someone and see their flaws and all that. He super sped through that part of adulthood before he was old enough to really understand it. Then he experienced the death of his wife, and the fallout that took years. He also got into two serious relationships after Shannon, one of which led him to a panic attack and breakup at the thought of marriage, while the other almost saw him moving in with a woman, only for him to panic again and do a thing that cost him his son’s trust.

So Eddie has only ever had pretty serious relationships throughout his adulthood, while Buck has only really had one. Two if we count Abby, because she was a huge stepping stone to him growing up and changing himself for the better, but to me, their relationship was also not a relationship. He and Abby were on two completely different wavelengths, in the sense that Abby was seeking comfort and companionship as her mother died, while Buck was trying to prove he could be a one-woman man. So it was serious in the sense that it helped them both find new paths, but it wasn’t leading anywhere, making it an extended fling essentially.

Ally could sort of be a serious relationship, but I personally tend to forget Buck dated her because she was brought in to replace Abby, and that’s it. They wanted the heartthrob of the show to be dating someone, so they gave him a random girlfriend who they sent packing as soon as they cast someone who could stick around for a while, leading us to Taylor. Buck’s actual first serious girlfriend, who was also his longest relationship to date. They went through many ups and downs and learned things from each other, and helped Buck move into a more mature place as an adult. A place where Eddie already exists.

Where Tommy is concerned, he helped Buck through the discovery of his sexuality, but they had nothing in common and weren’t really compatible. So while I do standby my dislike of how their breakup was written, because there was no potential heartbreak to be had since they barely liked each other beyond physical and Buck wanting to make a new thing work… Tommy wasn’t wrong, I guess. There was nothing between them to keep them together long term, because they’d made it six months and were basically still strangers. Meaning Buck was going to settle in and realize he hadn’t explored and researched and did all the things that make Buck, Buck as he figured himself out. Therefore, them breaking up had to happen.

With Buddie, if they go there and Eddie is Buck’s second queer relationship, it’ll work because they have an established relationship already. He knows who Eddie is to him emotionally. He knows Eddie’s likes and dislikes, and they connect. They even work well in raising a child together. On the other hand, if Buck is Eddie’s first queer relationship, it’ll work because Eddie (at least in my mind) isn’t looking for a man to show him the ropes. He’s experienced all the relationship ups and downs he could ever need, and is likely looking for ease. Something and someone that makes sense and clicks, and doesn’t give him any anxiety or bring with them any uncertainty.

This was a really long round about way of saying: Buck dated Tommy because he is constantly afraid of being left alone with his thoughts. He needs people to see the good in him and stay with him to believe he’s loved/liked. Whereas Eddie is able to sit with his thoughts, because he doesn’t like letting people in. He needs people to see him from an outside perspective to believe he’s okay and isn’t burdening anyone. If they date, Buck will finally have found a partner who stuck around for years, simply because he likes Buck as a person. He is genuinely interested in who Buck is. While at the same time, Eddie will have finally found someone who doesn’t allow him to bury himself beneath his own lies. Someone willing to do the work to pull him out of his own head.

So Buck’s One has to be someone who has always been there, and whom he knows won’t leave because they had more than enough opportunity to do so, yet haven’t. Whereas Eddie’s One has to be someone who sort of forcibly stays, despite all the chances he gives them to leave. He doesn’t need a first boyfriend to breeze in and out, because that will send him spiraling into believing his sexuality is an issue. Buck won’t spiral for that reason, because he kind of doesn’t give a fuck what his sexuality is. He wants to be loved, while Eddie wants to be accepted, and they offer that to each other.

[ironunderstands]

I must say, even though I’ve just barely gotten into Jason Todd’s character (and the DCU as a whole), the underutilization of the All Blades is so disappointing, because they could be SO cool and I just don’t mean fight-wise

From my understanding of them, they are magical swords he can summon from his soul that only work against magical entities in the presence of absolute evil, something that is incredibly cool, and that he can’t make much use of considering Batman’s no meta heroes/villains in Gotham thing (plus in general it doesn’t seem like the place has a lot of those).

But what if it did?

There’s a million different reasons why Gotham could start getting more spooky in more ways than one, and if a threat like that ever happened, realistically he’d be the only one around to deal with it.

So why not let him? Honestly, I don’t even know how to describe his relationship with the Bats currently (to be quite frankly honest, I don’t think the writers do either), but if they let Jason focus not just on his differing morals, but on his unique abilities (or rather, combing the two), we’d have very interesting stories on our hands

Jason fighting an evil others literally cannot even see, and slowly wearing himself out, but fighting anyways to protect his city.

Jason in more ways than one protecting Gotham from the evils the Bats can’t, and not just in a “murdering the really awful people” way

Jason finding a newfound sense of purpose in this, and maybe (although it might be impossible) taking others under his wing for a change to help defend this city from this new threat, and to hopefully help him heal from his past experiences

THERE IS SO MUCH POTENTIAL. DC WRITERS. DO THIS. PLEASE. FUCK IT ID DO IT IF I KNEW MORE ABOUT THE LORE AND CHARACTERS (I got into this community like, 2 months ago tops) COME ON. THE BEST STORY EVER IS RIGHT THERE. LET JASON/RED HOOD DO NEW THINGS.

[rukakaru-u]

DGM 253 thoughts and questions

1) Apo not understanding the nature of the helix further emphasized that Innocence is amoral

It is established that Innocence is sentient, but all the fragments are subordinate to the Heart. Most don’t have free will; they are either dormant or try to attract accommodators because the Heart needs them to. Since they are stuck in a crystalized form, all they can do is cause strange phenomena to signal people. It seems like they can interact with most things in this world, not just living beings, but they don’t know limitations. Lavi saying that Apo doesn’t understand the helix implies that even though he can learn, react to, and mimic human behavior, he can’t comprehend human nature, by extension morality either. It makes him an interesting antagonist and contextualizes his obsession with Allen. Apo thinks he is superior to people and only views them as energy sources, but Allen’s existence challenges this. So far, it seems like Innocence(s) are reactionary creatures that can learn from and evolve through people but have limitations when it comes to emotional intelligence.

2) The Heart’s conditions for choosing an accommodator are related to their fate, or rather Innocence forces them to be stuck in a bad one

Fate is interpreted in different ways in the story. For Allen, it is a choice, to Cross, it is something you create, to Mana it is something you can't escape and for the Heart, something to control. It is unclear if people’s fate is determined or if there are several different outcomes for everyone, but Innocence can sense that someone is on a bad path.* I assume, they can detect strong emotional responses, but they also must be in the right place. With the affirmation that accommodators are sacrificial lambs, the Heart’s method of trapping people in their misery is particularly cruel and still, questionably efficient. If the Heart wants to go against the Earl, I wonder if quality can battle with quantity. One miserable accommodator is that much more powerful?

*Side note: Does Innocence accept Bookman as accommodators, because their job is miserable by default? Can they get rid of Innocence after they are done recording? If a Jr. is a chosen one, does that mean that some people’s fate is indeed determined?

3) Does the Heart eat souls too?

All living things have a soul, and after death, they return to their origin: the helix. Humans have the most powerful helix energy; their emotions bring forth evolution and their bonds connect them through time and space. This natural power is exploited by the Earl and the Heart. The Earl can imprison (=contain and control) souls and then use their despair to evolve Akuma, while the Heart seeks out specific people to slowly drain out their life energy for reasons, again, unknown. Through Allen’s eye, we see that Akuma souls don’t have free will and probably can’t go back to the helix until an exorcist sets them free. Even though the Heart only deals with life energy, what if the twist is that exorcised souls end up in it? It is kinda stupid but also fun. (Will there be a Madoka Magica twist too??)

4) How could Lavi sacrifice himself?

So, the "magic" rules of this universe aren’t that clear to me still; there is rarely ever an explanation for why things happen the way they are. (But it could be that I’m an overthinker too). The Bookman are also the cheaters of this world (special blood, ancient knowledge, inhuman strength, etc.), but really, all it takes is a decision to be part of somebody’s soul. Is the price that Allen must suffer in the future? Like they must pay back to the universe? Or must he suffer, because there was something wrong with Lavi?* DGM, explain.

This chapter had more confirmations than questions, which is nice. :))

*Side note: The "child of calamity" can either refer to his failure as a Bookman or that he was born with misfortune. White hair seems to be a bad omen, but Allen's only turned white after the curse. Did it trigger remains of Lavi inside him? It is also a fun detail. (this one is for @tetitous who gave some pespective after I wrote this originally)

[mezmer]

Idk this is really crazy and I should just find a way to share my story of my addiction because it is a God given miracle that I am alive today lol. Where would I even share that? My dad has had a few books published and he knows publishers. I’ve discussed writing a joint book of prose with him and releasing it just as something special for our families and friends, something special for us too. Perhaps I could make it part bio part prose and just write about it…. I need that story to be put out there, it would blow someone’s mind, and I would love to inspire somebody. Gosh if I could drive and had time I would be out there helping addicts in a second. Imagine saving an addicts life and she goes back to raise her children… i met so many mothers in rehab who didn’t have it in them to quit. Imagine being that person that plants the seed! Im so passionate and if only I had the chance!

[bleue-flora]

Why I think c!Dream is Autistic - Part 2

[Part 1] - [Part 2] - [Part 3]

If you haven’t read part 1 (eventhough I did try and write these as like separate things) I do recommend you go do that...

Did you do it? Hi hello, welcome back. :) Okay, now having gone over general traits, let’s talk more about the second part of my original statement [post]: “c!Dream is autistic and the consequential misunderstanding and miscommunication is a root of all the problems and conflicts” which I have covered a bit already [here].

So, because we think differently, communication and social interaction is often at the heart of a lot of our struggles (after my diagnosis at 20 I realized just how many of the conflicts in my past came down to this). Me and my therapist like to make the comparison that because autistic people’s brains are structured differently it is as if we are speaking a different language and as a result it ends with things being misinterpreted. Because as we all can recognize, when a language isn’t someone’s first, there are times when things don’t come across properly. Both because of perhaps a lack of words, different slang, tone, culture… etc. When you don’t take translation into consideration, it leads to miscommunication and misunderstanding as a lot of poor assumptions are made and conflict is often the result, especially because our inclination is to think the worst of people. [funnily enough here’s a great example between some anons about translation and communication 1 -> 2 -> 3]

As such, while autistic people have issues communicating with neurotypicals, we often don’t have issues communicating with each other - we speak the same language. So, it isn’t that we are any worse at communication in general than everyone else (in other words Dream is not the sole one to blame here), it’s that we are struggle to communicate with the neurotypical like we are speaking two different languages without even realizing it, so of course we struggle to understand each other. 

I think (hopefully lol) we can all agree that the root of the dsmp conflict is miscommunication and not understanding each other. But the thing is, miscommunication in the standard sense, in our day to day life or in the climax of a romantic comedy is about the absence of communicating, like Quackity not talking to his fiances. It is to have information, an opinion, view or assumption that goes unsaid and then leads to struggle just because it was never talked out. However, in Dream’s case it isn’t that he doesn’t talk it out or not share his side of the story, because he does. He does a lot, he does communicate, how else could Dream apologists understand him even before the finale without his own pov detailing his thoughts. 

He does talk about it but his autistic mind is using logic and facts against an emotional response leading to him being unheard. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter whether tyrant is the right word, they are just expressing their feelings of being controlled by a larger power, but Dream is too focused on pulling out the literal definition and the facts to see the real issue at hand - that they feel controlled and overshadowed by him. So they think Dream doesn’t care, and Dream thinks their points don't matter because their facts were wrong and no understanding is reached. Dream can use logic all day - Why would someone not want to escape a prison they were being tortured in? Why would someone make a prison and then plan on putting someone in an unfortified 1x1 hole in the wall? How can I be the tyrant when Eret is literally the king? How can I steal the discs if they were literally given to me after a fair duel? - but against people just spewing words out of anger, hurt, feelings of abandonment it isn’t going to make a difference.

Perhaps one of the most notable and tragic examples of this is George’s dethronement, in the aftermath of Techno’s attack and the Spirit speech, where Dream meets Sapnap’s and George’s emotions with logic and facts.  (See [here] for full transcript, the following is trimmed down from two different vids)

[18:54] George: “Why—why do you think- why do you think I shouldn’t be king anymore?” Dream: “I think that… you would be safer if you were not, right?”

[23:56] Dream: “You’ll just be targeted if you’re the king, and you wanna be able to like, get revenge on Tommy and stuff, right? So, we can like work to—We can work together. Me and you.” George: “Hm. Sounds like you’re sugar-coating it.” Dream: “No, nono—I mean, it’s a little bit sugar-coated, but it’s also like… it’s just better because you don’t get attacked by everyone, and you can do whatever you want without having to worry...”

[25:37] Sapnap: “George, Dream said he didn’t care about anything on this SMP which… That just means he doesn’t care about us.” Dream: “Okay, I’ll have you say, I was—Okay, I wasn’t—I wasn’t—I didn’t actually mean I don’t care about anything.” George: “Why did you say it then?” Sapnap: “Yeah?” Dream: “Listen, listen! The reason I’m even saying George should step down as king is because I care about him. Because I—He’s been getting attacked, and I care about him, and I don’t want him to get attacked.”

[27:28] Dream: “What did you do as king? Like you didn’t do anything as king like decree or anything...” George: “I’ve been the best king this server has ever had!” Dream: “Yeah, I agree. I agree. But you’ve also been the least safe king because you just get attacked all the time because people don’t like me. And therefore, they don’t like you because you’re behind me, and you’re my friend.” Eret: “By association.” Dream: “Yeah. By association. So, like that’s the same reason, like, Sapnap’s got into some, you know, drama and stuff too, but…”—“Sap, stop pointing the damn bow at me.” George: “Just say—Just say you hate me.” Sapnap: “Yeah, just say it.” Dream: “George! *laughs in disbelief* George, I don’t—Listen to me. I care about you. That’s the reason I don’t want you to be the king.” Sapnap: “First—first—Listen to this. First, he says he doesn’t care about us, and now he’s demoting you as king.”

In this conversation over and over he reiterates how he cares and is trying to keep them safe from being targeted and attacked and yet after everything is said and done, his friends somehow leave that conversation thinking he doesn’t care about them. Why? Because what Sapnap really needed was validation for him feeling hurt, but instead Dream kept reasoning with his emotions with the concrete actions, details and facts, essentially saying that what he feels doesn’t matter because it’s not truth, which was never going to get through to them. They are listening but they aren’t hearing eachother, both think they have made their point and the other side has poor intentions for not reacting appropriately. 

It took Tommy to literally experience Dream’s point of view to understand him and realize his intentions weren’t inherently malicious. Because only then could he shatter his assumptions and misconceptions about intention and motivation. Only then did he know which questions to ask Dream for him to get Dream to answer in a way that made sense to him. Before Tommy experiences Dream’s pov in limbo and after, Dream’s arguments and his answers for why don’t really change, he talks about peace and family so many different times, but it’s only after Tommy goes into his head that he’s able to actually translate what Dream was saying so he can hear him, understand him, see him.

It’s the assumption that the way you understand someone is what they meant to say that causes these issues in communication. Me missing social queues or body language that’s sending me a message and you assuming I don’t care or have a certain opinion on the matter because of my response or lack of response when in fact, no I just did not get the message after all. And as such as an autistic person it often feels like neurotypicals expect us to read their minds because they are sending messages, communicating how they feel just not in a way, not in a language we understand.

So, why do they ask that for the snake and not for people? - because people don’t speak snake, but surely people do speak people, so they assumed they don’t need to ask because they assumed that they can follow the train of thought because it's just like theirs. They assumed they understood each other but it’s like an American and a Brit arguing about jumpers without realizing they are two completely different clothing items.

[edgelordtozier]

sorry but alicent hightower isn’t “ruined” this season. you people just never understood her in the first place and think of her as something she’s not lmao.

of course she’s a hypocrite, she has been the whole time. her holier than thou persona is a facade. she wants freedom of choice and, with that, sexual liberation. she gets that now with criston at the price of her own shame and guilt tied to her faith, which is real (criston’s faith, at least in the seven, is NOT, but yknow. for another time). her going for what rhaenyra got and what rhaenyra had the freedom to partake in is not character assassination lmao. It’s what’s been set up this whole time. she’s not this saint that she and her stans claim her to be. she’s variably flawed CLEARLY (which is what makes her a good character) but isn’t going to stray away from the exact thing she claims to hate.

“duty and sacrifice” and “honor and decency will prevail” are shown to the viewer to be hypocritical statements. fucking obviously. why did anyone take that at face value LMAO. All those things are what alicent herself has been forced to align with since she was a child made to marry viserys. she wants rhaenyra to ALSO fit that mould and to feel that misery that she’s felt, just as she wishes she had the freedom rhaenyra has. that doesn’t mean she believes in these ideas. she clearly goes against them; that’s her character. she believes that she believes them, but her desire to leave the mould outweighs that time and time again.

to say that she’s an outlandishly different character in s2 after seeing one singular episode is insane. she’s the same. she and criston is not a left field decision, nor is it a particularly bad one, even if it did feel abrupt (which is more a pacing issue). alicent and criston’s joint hypocrisy has been pointed out the entire time. to further highlight it is not bad writing or character ruination. you just didn’t understand them in the first place. Alicent isn’t a blushing nun. she’s a woman whose old decrepit husband is finally dead and now has the freedom she didn’t get at 17.

[quietwingsinthesky]

there’s a progression in there, somewhere, of even going from ‘the master might kill me any day now :(‘ to ‘the master is going to kill me :) she’s not going to let someone else do it after all this time’

[frostluvrs]

i genuinely think the idea that kang changed too fast is about to be shot down by him act just like his old self but in a completely different way when he finds out sailom is escorting again 🥴🥴

[lovequeerindigo]

nobody will understand what i mean by this but i don’t feel like a human. i don’t feel like anything else really i’m kinda just . yeah.

i identify a lot with cats because my cat and i are both autistic and i find her easier to deal with than most humans. and sometimes i wish i was a cat because then i would have no responsibilities and my life would be easier. i don’t identify as a cat or anything tho (how would that work even. idk). and i don’t want to be a cat.

but also when i create avatars cat ears are a must.

[starlooove]

Why are people surprised that Zionists are being abhorrent at these protests and then sayin they’re victims. Ig surprised isn’t the right word but people keep pointing out ‘this doesn’t make sense’ like it’s a fallacy in a discord debate like this is just how racism has always been

[swordmaid]

shri’iia’s potential romances in act 1 is shadowheart, lae’zel and astarion, mainly going by the approvals she manages to rack up and those three are always shooting at the top. I never get a high enough approval with wyll so his romance is out of the question, gale disapproves a lot of her choices bc she is generally unkind, same for karlach much to my DISMAY!!!!!!!!!! I would’ve romanced karlach if it were up to me personally but I have to stick with whoever fits her character….

anyway. shadowheart because shri’iia relates to her shar worship and they’re both girlies who follow evil aligned goddesses 👯‍♀️ except that I strike shadowheart out because her romance scene in act 1 doesn’t fit with shri’iia’s story. no way will she be honest and tell someone about her past THAT early on, that’s act 2 stuff, so shadowheart is now out of the question. like if shadowheart had a sex scene first then her romance later I would’ve done her romance for shri’iia tbh

lae’zel is in a similar boat where they both follow evil aligned goddesses without question but she has a ruthlessness that shri’iia also shares. most of the time they see eye to eye in a sense they both agree that if someone is useful then they deserve respect but if they’re weak then they’re not worth the time. however, lae’zel doesn’t share the cruel streak shri’iia has, and her attitude with the destruction of the crèche vs shri’iia’s shows the biggest difference in their characters and morals. they’re similar, but also different in a way that matters…! but shri’iia will have a fling with her at the start but the aftermath of the crèche will lead to their romance fizzling out

then astarion, who is most similar to her to the point where they even have similar backgrounds (charlatan) lol. early act 1, shri’iia claims that she’s born in the surface when asked bc she doesn’t know if she can trust these people yet (she reveals her full backstory after oath breaking), so she has that facade going for her. and I think astarion catches on to her game quick but she also will catch on to his game so they’re just like 👀👀 waiting to see who will say something first. then he reveals that he’s a vampire so that’s more artillery for her to use against him if he ever decides to point out how her background seems false. but then they realise they’re kind of similar… they will extort anyone who’s foolish enough to believe them, tell their own lies so that it benefits them and avoid giving any help if they don’t get anything from it. out of everyone in the camp they’re both willing to use the tadpole too—astarion who wants the power from it, and shri’iia wants the advantage it’s offering so she can come out on the top of this whole thing. so it’s very game recognises game, cunt to cunt communication. and the whole fucking each other first then falling later fits with her story too…. the only thing I’m changing is that they’re just in a situationship until his graveyard scene