iaminlovewithagingermilf

[iaminlovewithagingermilf]

James talking about Regulus.

James: He’s so pretty and mean, and he makes my stomach flutter with knives.

Marlene: [Disturbed] Knives?? You mean butterflies????

James: No, knives.

James: Like butterflies.

James: But sexier.

[iaminlovewithagingermilf]

Regulus introducing Sirius to his friends:

Sirius: You have friends??

Regulus: [sarcastically] No, I pay them to hang out with me🙄

Sirius: [siriusly] Oh ok, that makes more sense.

Regulus:

[iaminlovewithagingermilf]

I love Remus, I really do, but he would wear his socks to bed😔. He would were the fuzzy ones with funky patterns on them every night. Sirius would *always* bully him for it (as he should).

[iaminlovewithagingermilf]

Regulus: You are so f*cking annoying!

James: You know, I thought you Blacks were meant to be charmers! I gotta say, I’m not feeling very f*cking charmed right now!

Regulus: Well thinking never was your strong suit, was it?!

[iaminlovewithagingermilf]

Black Brothers angst and parallels bc i hate myself| Regulus takes after Sirius in the worst ways

1969

“I don’t understand how you don’t care,” Regulus whispers into the darkness of his brother’s room.

He can’t see Sirius’ face but he knows it’s clear. Knows it doesn’t mirror his own tear stained face without having to look.

Sirius never cries.

Not when she screams, not when she scars, not when she feels more like ice than a mother.

It’s a trick Regulus hasn’t gotten the hold of yet. He hopes he will soon.

His brothers arms tighten around him, and he presses back into the warmth of them - trying to fight off the cold, trying to steal the bravery he knows is vibrating within them.

5 Years Later

“I don’t understand how you don’t fucking care!” Sirius shouts at the blank face in front of him. He’s met with a dead eyed stare that he really should be used to by now. He’s not.

Tearing at his hair, getting blood in it that’s probably his own, he looks for any hidden emotion in Regulus’ eyes. Any pain, any fear, any relish, anything. Anything that tells him not to go. Anything that tells him he should.

Annoyingly, it’s rather difficult for Sirius to hate his brother when he has no idea whether it’s reciprocated. But he does. He’s pretty sure he does. He tries to.

It’s easier to try when Regulus turns away from him like he’s doing now, walking away.

“If I leave now i’m not coming back.” Sirius tries not to make that sound like a threat, but it is one. They both know it.

Regulus keeps walking.

[iaminlovewithagingermilf]

Lyall and remus complex relationship kills me every time | cry! cry! cry! cry!

“I WAS FIVE! Five and lying in a pool of my own blood, holding my own body together!” Remus feels crazy, he feels angry. Yelling at his father, like the monster he believes him to be.

“Trying not to move so I didn’t spread my blood around, trying to make sure it wasn’t an inconvenience for you to have to clean it up!” Lyall stares at him with wide eyes in silence, rubbing roughly at the middle of his chest.

Remus hopes that’s because his words make him ache. He hopes they scar so that for once, Remus can look at his father and find some sort of resemblance between them.

“I would wait for hours for you to build up the courage to come and get me out of the fucking basement that you locked me in! So scared of facing the monster you created. And yes, I remember that part. The part where it was YOUR FUCKING FAULT!” His eyes burn from the tears in his eyes begging to fall, something about Lyall’s stricken face making him feel fragile.

“Do you know what it’s like, to have to sit and wait to break every bone in your body? To know that that is just something I have to deal with for the rest of my life? It is paralyzing.” Remus’s voice comes out ragged, the sound of his sobs intertwining with his words.

“I have to choose to live once a month, choose to breathe despite every bone in my body resenting me for it. And that’s because of you, my dad.”

“Remus I-“

“No! No, I don’t want to hear it! You are much better at being silent than you ever have been at being a father, so I implore you to stick to where your talents lie and leave me the fuck alone.” Remus walks away then, leaving Lyall alone with the pain he has caused.

And despite the headache and guilt creeping inside him, he feels absolved. Relieved to finally seen as a person who’s been hurt, instead of a monster to be hidden.

Or he would have, if any of this just happened.

It didn’t of course. Remus isn’t the type of person who’s allowed to express his anger. To scared that it will prove everyone right about him, that he’s a monster.

He can break his body open over and over, as long as he doesn’t crack and show the world what’s in his mind.

Oh, he’s allowed to be graceful, he’s allowed to be happy as long as it’s done quietly. Or he’s expected to be, because why would a monster be anything but grateful for having a life he clearly doesn’t deserve?

So instead of saying what he wants to, he zones back into the real conversation. The one where his father tells him he’s drawing too much attention to himself. That his friends are too reckless for him, and he should cut them out before he gets too attached. The conversation where he tells Remus he’s not trying hard enough.

Remus sits there, taking it silently; and tries not to get too caught up in the fantasy of being heard without consequence.

[iaminlovewithagingermilf]

Remus not feeling up to eating before a full moon.

Sirius: [Concerned] Remus you should really eat something.

Remus: I swallowed for you like 30 minutes ago??

Sirius:

James:

Peter:

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The Marauders: A One Act Play

PROFESSOR MCGONAGAL: Professor Slughorn tells me that you were behaving inappropriately. What exactly is your side of the story before I fill the blanks in myself? 

JAMES: [James sits up straighter.] Inappropriate? Oh come on we only- [Sirius cuts him off by pushing him by his face back onto the chair.] 

SIRIUS: What exactly was his side of the story? Because we have no idea what you're talking about. [James rubs his nose dejectedly.]

PROFESSOR MCGONAGAL: Really you have no idea? [She looks at them like she doesn’t believe a word out of their mouths.]

SIRIUS: Nope.

REMUS: Nuh-uh.

JAMES: Not a clue.

PETER: Absolutely zero ideas.

PROFESSOR MCGONAGAL: That’s funny, you’d think that you guys would remember filling your teacher’s classroom with fifty chickens! [They all pause for a moment to watch her face turn red.]

REMUS: [Remus taps his finger on his lips, looking thoughtful.] Hmmmm you would think we’d remember doing something like that.

PETER: [Peter mimics his thoughtfulness.] Unless we didn’t do it, in which case there would be no memory to remember.

JAMES: [James points at Mcgonagal importantly.] Oh my God we didn't do it! Honestly I wasn’t expecting that. [He sits back looking very relieved.]

PROFESSOR MCGONAGAL: [Mcgonagal angrily waves her hands around.] He literally saw you do it! He saw you running away, you left a trail of chicken feathers! Peter you have a feather in your hair right now! 

PETER: [Peter plucks the feather out of his hair with a look of new understanding.] Ohhhh you meant that time we filled our teachers classroom with forty nine chickens.

PROFESSOR MCGONAGAL: What do you mean “that time” of course that time! How many other times have you filled up your teachers' class room with fifty chickens!

SIRIUS: Never. We’ve never filled up our teacher's room with fifty chickens. [They all blink in unison.]

PROFESSOR MCGONAGAL: You guys just admitted it, like literally two seconds ago. The professor walked in his class room and found 50 chickens labeled with a number. [She reaches up and rubs her temples looking on the verge of tears.] They still can’t find number 13. 

REMUS: Oh how strange. 

JAMES: Strange indeed. [James stifles a smile, looking away from Remus so he won't laugh.]

PROFESSOR MCGONAGAL: [Mcgonagal signs with an air of resignation.] What on earth possessed you guys to do this?

PETER: The pigs were expensive.

PROFESSOR MCGONAGAL: [Mcgonagal tugs on her hair.] Right of course, I always put chickens in my teacher’s classroom because the pigs are expensive. 

REMUS: I don't see why you are so upset, it’s not like there’s a rule against putting forty nine chickens in your professor’s classroom. We checked.

PROFESSOR MCGONAGAL: You checked to make sure there wasn't a rule against putting fifty chickens in your teacher's classroom.

REMUS: [Remus smiles brightly.] No, but that’s not a rule either.

PROFESSOR MCGONAGAL: what? I- It’s not a rule because we assume our students have common sense! 

SIRIUS: [Sirius waves his hand in a dismissing movement.] Ah well you know what they say about assumptions. 

JAMES: No, what do they say about assumptions?

SIRIUS: [Sirius thinks about it for a second before he shrugs.] I don’t know, they probably cause cancer or something. [James nods like that makes sense.]

PROFESSOR MCGONAGAL: They do not cause canc- He was yelling after you! He told you to stop!

REMUS: Ohhhh that's what he was saying! I thought he was practicing.

PROFESSOR MCGONAGAL: Practicing?!

REMUS: For the opera.

PETER: [Peter nods encouragingly.] He does have a lovely singing voice.

[iaminlovewithagingermilf]

Regulus walking with headphones in with Sirius walking next to him.

Sirius: [Taps Regulus on the shoulder]

Regulus: [Takes out headphones] What?

Sirius: You couldn’t hear me? I’ve been talking to you for the past 5 minutes.

Regulus: Really?? I thought you were just making ugly faces at me.

Sirius:

[iaminlovewithagingermilf]

POV: Sirius finds out about Jegulus | I’m going for tears here ppl

“YOU’RE SCREWING MY FUCKING BROTHER, JAMES!” Sirius shouts as he roughly shoves at James’ chest. He looks like a wild animal, the ones whose eyes tell you they’ve been hurt. Starved. Betrayed.

“I’m so sorry, Sirius! I-“

“My little fucking brother!” He can hear the ragged sobs coming from James’ mouth, can see the tears running down his face. He doesn’t care, he yells over it. “How could you do this to me, how could you not tell me?!”

“I was going to tell you, I swear-“

“BULLSHIT!” Sirius can feel the sting of tears threatening to fall, and he hates it. Hates that it was James who put them there, someone who he never thought would. “You know what those people did to me! You know that he just watched as it happened!”

“Sirius I love you so much, I didn’t mean to-“

“Didn’t mean to! Didn’t mean to what? Fuck my brother, lie to my face?! Because James, in order to do those things you have to MEAN TO!” James claws at his chest, trying to take away the pain. His heart aches.

“I’m sorry, Sirius. I’m so sorry, what can I do? I’ll do anything! I love you, I love you so much.”

Sirius feels sick, he feels physically fucking ill. “You can’t see him again. Ever.”

“What?” James sounds so small, so heartbroken, so shocked. Like the fact that Sirius wouldn’t want him to keep fucking his brother never crossed his mind.

“What do you mean ‘what’ James?” The voice the words are said in is sharp, it’s got teeth and claws. It’s the part of him he’d never thought he’d have to show James. His James. His best friend. His protector, always. His brother.

“Sirius I love you, I love you so much - I’d pick you over anyone. But please - please I’m in love with him. Don’t make me pick you, don’t make me lose him. Because I will, for you, but I’m in love with him. He’s the air that I breathe, he’s embedded in my bones, I can feel it- I really can.” James can’t breathe, he can’t fucking breathe.

“James-“ Sirius is numb, someone is pranking him. This is a joke.

“I- I don’t know how it happened but it’s real, it’s so real. And I know it’s fucked up because he’s your brother and I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry, but please don’t make me give him up. I’m in love with him, please. I’m so sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I don’t want to lose either of you, please Sirius. I’m not done being loved by him, please.”

“You’re in love with him?” His voice breaks in a way that makes him feel stupid. Pathetic.

James blinks. His tears are blurring his vision, but Sirius doesn’t look angry anymore. He looks tired. “I- yes. Yes, I’m in love with him.”

“How long?”

James feels dizzy, this is going so wrong. “Eight months.”

Sirius runs a hand through his hair, trying to calm down. “Why didn’t you tell me, really?”Trying not to cry.

James feels his heart clench painfully, “I was scared.” He says it quietly, like that makes it any less impactful.

“Of me?” Oh, he feels so small. The only way that Sirius is sure that James didn’t just punch him in the stomach is the distance between them. James just looks at him helplessly. “Right. Right, of course. I guess I just proved you right huh? That you should’ve been scared.” Sirius feels shaken, off balance. He turns and walks away.

“Sirius-“ The door slams shut, and James can’t breathe.