#that did something to my heart
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HERA AND LEIA ARE PALS. AHSOKA AND EZRA AND SABINE REUNITED. AHSOKA IS HOPEFUL AND THRIVING. THREEPIO IS HERE ON BEHALF OF SENATOR AND DEFENSE COORDINATOR LEIA ORGANA. ZEB IS TRAINING RECRUITS. MY HEART IS FULL.
#Ahsoka#Ahsoka spoilers#Ahsoka spoiler#I only need one more thing and that’s Hera reunites with her boy now#if I see Zeb and Ezra reunited I will be through the moon#but I NEED Hera to see and hold her boy after all this time#it will only take that and my skin will be clear my crops will be watered my faith will be restored#it’s a simple request#a humble plea#as I sit here screaming crying losing my marbles#can we talk about leia and Hera being friends tho#can we imagine the wine nights#please someone write Hera and Leia’s conversation about this#can we talk about Mon Mothma looking like an exasperated mom friend#‘NOW what have the pair of you gone and done’#‘I can’t leave you two alone for two seconds’#‘I’m relieved you won’t be arrested but I’m going to kill you both’#Mon mothma’s voice going soft as soon as she saw threepio#that did something to my heart#Hera’s SMILE when she saw him#teva having enough of chopper’s respect that he could hold a hand up to him and not be murdered#Zeb is training recruits 😭😭😭😭#do you think they remind him of young Ezra#and Ahsoka#can we TALK about Ahsoka#look how much better she’s doing#how much more confident#and hopeful#and involved and emotional and HAPPY#I’ve run out of TAGS
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I was meeting a client at a famous museum’s lounge for lunch (fancy, I know) and had an hour to kill afterwards so I joined the first random docent tour I could find. The woman who took us around was a great-grandmother from the Bronx “back when that was nothing to brag about” and she was doing a talk on alternative mediums within art.
What I thought that meant: telling us about unique sculpture materials and paint mixtures.
What that actually meant: an 84yo woman gingerly holding a beautifully beaded and embroidered dress (apparently from Ukraine and at least 200 years old) and, with tears in her eyes, showing how each individual thread was spun by hand and weaved into place on a cottage floor loom, with bright blue silk embroidery thread and hand-blown beads intricately piercing the work of other labor for days upon days, as the labor of a dozen talented people came together to make something so beautiful for a village girl’s wedding day.
What it also meant: in 1948, a young girl lived in a cramped tenement-like third floor apartment in Manhattan, with a father who had just joined them after not having been allowed to escape through Poland with his pregnant wife nine years earlier. She sits in her father’s lap and watches with wide, quiet eyes as her mother’s deft hands fly across fabric with bright blue silk thread (echoing hands from over a century years earlier). Thread that her mother had salvaged from white embroidery scraps at the tailor’s shop where she worked and spent the last few days carefully dying in the kitchen sink and drying on the roof.
The dress is in the traditional Hungarian fashion and is folded across her mother’s lap: her mother doesn’t had a pattern, but she doesn’t need one to make her daughter’s dress for the fifth grade dance. The dress would end up differing significantly from the pure white, petticoated first communion dresses worn by her daughter’s majority-Catholic classmates, but the young girl would love it all the more for its uniqueness and bright blue thread.
And now, that same young girl (and maybe also the villager from 19th century Ukraine) stands in front of us, trying not to clutch the old fabric too hard as her voice shakes with the emotion of all the love and humanity that is poured into the labor of art. The village girl and the girl in the Bronx were very different people: different centuries, different religions, different ages, and different continents. But the love in the stitches and beads on their dresses was the same. And she tells us that when we look at the labor of art, we don’t just see the work to create that piece - we see the labor of our own creations and the creations of others for us, and the value in something so seemingly frivolous.
But, maybe more importantly, she says that we only admire this piece in a museum because it happened to survive the love of the wearer and those who owned it afterwards, but there have been quite literally billions of small, quiet works of art in billions of small, quiet homes all over the world, for millennia. That your grandmother’s quilt is used as a picnic blanket just as Van Gogh’s works hung in his poor friends’ hallways. That your father’s hand-painted model plane sets are displayed in your parents’ livingroom as Grecian vases are displayed in museums. That your older sister’s engineering drawings in a steady, fine-lined hand are akin to Da Vinci’s scribbles of flying machines.
I don’t think there’s any dramatic conclusions to be drawn from these thoughts - they’ve been echoed by thousands of other people across the centuries. However, if you ever feel bad for spending all of your time sewing, knitting, drawing, building lego sets, or whatever else - especially if you feel like you have to somehow monetize or show off your work online to justify your labor - please know that there’s an 84yo museum docent in the Bronx who would cry simply at the thought of you spending so much effort to quietly create something that’s beautiful to you.
#shut up e#long post#Saturday thoughts#this has been in my drafts for a week haha#also this is the heart of why AI art feels so wrong#forget the discussion of copyright and theft etc - even if models were only trained on public domain they would still feel very wrong#because they’re not art. art is the labor of creation#even commercial art and art commissioned by the popes and kings of history: there is humanity in the labor of it#unrelated: I did not know living in the Bronx was now something to brag about. How the fuck do y’all New Yorkers afford this city???
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Phone call
#something cute and simple so i can feel better about my art#hunter x hunter#hxh#killua zoldyck#killua#gon freecss#hxh gon#art#i did not look up a refrwnce for the phones i just followed my heart#accuracy not guaranteed 🥰
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...Turns out gay sex actually was the solution.
(This is basically a redraw, come read the real deal over at Tiger Tiger)
#tiger tiger#jamis arlesi#arno#I like to think Arno meant that as an inside thought but it came out as an outside thought. He's rolling with it though.#He did cause a Catastrophic Yaoi event though.#Jamis my beloved. You have the heart of a maiden. The body of an Ox. The brain of a loyal dog.#This is a guy who's okay being attracted to another man but *NOT* aware he's in love or that he's bisexual.#We love him for this. My god. This man is crafted so perfectly. I need you all to at least give Tigers a chance for *him*.#I'm tricking you a little bit because you will actually also fall for Ludo and Luck and Remy and Honeyfoot and-#okay you get the point. There are so many amazing characters in this comic.#I just.. my joke comic of 'gay sex is the solution' feels so ominous now knowing a few weeks later that was going to be canon.#I feel like a jester and a prophet. I don't know if I should tell anymore jokes in fear of what I may predict.#I am putting my hands together for Ludo to get a good smooch in with [redacted] in dragon form.#Also predicting something very spooky is going to go down with the diving bell. We shall see!
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the fox god.
a comic about a trickster.
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creative notes:
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all my other comics
store
#cw: emotional abuse#cw: gaslighting#cw: animal death#charity - a god whose name was only ever meant to be ironic#i love playing with the concept of religion like this#im not religious at all but i did go to a christian school for twelve years#and i remember learning about the story of abraham. who long story short gets told by god to kill his son to prove his love for god.#and at the veeeery last minute god goes sike! this was a test to see if you'd do it! here's a lamb to slaughter instead#but the whole concept of that exchange in and of itself is so#anyway#one thing i meant to include in the creative notes but i ran out of room for is that charity never calls cunning by his name.#it's just “fox”. which was a small touch to indicate that he never acknowledged cunning's identity outside of being something exploitable.#but for all charity's hidden disdain for cunning#he still stole all his strengths and coveted them. he became known as the fox god.#so maybe some part of cunning survived. despite everything.#“give me your heart.”#“my god. it had always been yours.”#comic art#hearteaters#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics#one more comic to go until im finished with this collection!!
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one day, I will set this right
#kh#kingdom hearts#kh terra#kh fanart#my art#I finished terra's part of bbs today#I knew WHAT happened but not HOW y'know?#ouch man. ouch.#honestly did not expect him to become my favorite wayfinder#I should've known really I'm a huge sucker for possession tropes#especially if they're super tragic#AND DUDE WAS LITERALLY SPLIT INTO THE 3 FUNDAMENTAL PARTS OF A HUMAN BEING#which is in the process of doing something terrible to my brain#so um. if you're a terra enjoyer hmu seriously#I'll probably be making more fanart for him anyways#sorry for the ramble#can't wait to see him again in III <3#hashtag terradefender4ever#hashtag eatshitxehanort
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#Life Imitating Art Or Some Shit Like That
#I can't believe they did this#they are insane#polin#penelope featherington#colin x penelope#colin bridgerton#love#nicola coughlan#luke newton#life imitates art#i love them#cuties#my heart#god just get married or something#bridgerton#3x3
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mourning black and the death of ideals
#i haven't moved on from this yet. btw. i'm still here#finally decided to draw the thought i've been ruminating over for days on end bc it's like a parasite eating away my brain#stated this on the initial post i made days ago but there's just smt so gut wrenching and sickening#about how dazai will have worn black exactly twice in his life: once as a member of the mafia and now at kunikida's funeral#a color that initially signified devotion to the mafia and his demon prodigy alias now signifies his grief#him having to wear black again at the funeral of another doomed fatalist who chose his heart over his survival. his own partner.#kunikida's death being so reminiscent of the tragedy that initially caused him to defect and flee#and everything tying together full circle and effectively breaking him#asagiri rly said fuck knkdz it's doppover we lost gang 😭😭😭#why did bro leave that fucking notebook behind#fool. do you know that angst potential you have left me to work with?#love never won in bsd. it lay dead and festering#i don't know how much longer i can keep saying i miss them. i'm going to kill myself if he doesn't come back#i've never wanted something to be death bait so desperately#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#kunikidazai#knkdz#kunizai#(??? technically. its implied anyway)#lotus draws
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shujin trio,,my babies..,.,
#shujin trio AND MORGANA!!!! AND MORGANA#i dont get the morgana hate hes just a guy. all he did was be whimsical and enforce a good sleep schedule and the masses hated him#u are number 1 in my heart mona#i love the rest of the cast too but something about the original team of 4 is so dear to me 🥹🥹#update on my playthrough i beat shido up and were in mementos depths right now !!! i cant wait to fight yaldabaoth#WE R NEARING THIRD SEMESTER..... akechi navi lines are within arms reach#more at 5 . im going to make it there by tomorrow even if i fall behind on my summer math course#ann takamaki#takamaki ann#kurusu akira#akira kurusu#amamiya ren#ren amamiya#joker#morgana#ryuji sakamoto#sakamoto ryuji#persona 5#p5#p5r#persona 5 royal#shujin trio#my art
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so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.
first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.
it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.
and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.
you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.
and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.
your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.
in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.
in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.
so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.
you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.
once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.
and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"
you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?
hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!
you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.
we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?
#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck#good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen#im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3#writeblr#the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this''#and like also#''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist#i was <3 punctured <3 during mine#and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion''#so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3#she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh#ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance#i'd crash on the table#like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it#and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop!#and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just#woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes#she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room#from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing#and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying#and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap#with this terrible memory#i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like#that was too many liters#and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home#i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after#that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty#you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it#while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED#and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.
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i forgot to post this during june but i think one of the reasons qsmp was so important was how unapologetically Gay it was
for starters, the number of creators and admins involved who are irl queer of some variation, just chilling in a place where any kind of phobia would get Philza's legendary ban hammer faster than you could say "rainbow jelly"
and then the characters.
i remember showing up that first day and being shocked that somehow foolish had an ex-boyfriend already (I had missed the squidcraft lore apparently)
that server. gay. all the gay. all kinds of gay.
govermentally assigned platonic husbands that stayed together the whole time (despite one of them being gone for months at a time), not a chance in hell of infidelity. Proud fathers of two wonderful children.
governmentally assigned partners who yelled full volume at each other about cheating any time they were in the room together and between the two of them killed two children.
a grieving father and ex-convict becoming one of the most solid couples in the server, with a beautiful wedding and consistent public displays of affection via the in-game chat.
a demon ashamed of who she was and a lonely detective struggling with family trauma, now with a lil girl of their own, to love together and take care of, with more moms than could ever allow the little girl to ever be lonely herself.
a 2b2t warrior coming to terms with his sexuality with the support of his beautiful baby boy at his side, slowly but surely opening up to his eventual Brazilian Boyfriend. Where they went from the most cautious couple (baby steps) to the most sickeningly sweet couple on the server.
- and this list doesn't even scratch the surface.
gay characters, trans characters, ace characters, aroace characters, gender fluid characters, all kinds of relationships and families.
all presented without negativity or shame.
the point of the server was to exchange languages and cultures, without the biases and barriers seen so much in both the content creator scene and the wider world.
it also had a beautiful little side effect, practically by accident.
our lgbtqsmp.
#meant so fucking much to me#qsmp#qsmp pride#death duo#misclick duo#guapoduo#teaduo#hideduo#as a core memory i just remember how seriously cellbit took his characters relationship with roiers#it wasnt just a joke. it wasnt just a bit. he was writing a love story for his character that was meant to mean something.#maybe im too used to mainstream media treating queer relationships as less important. or never developing them as much as straight ones.#so this server full of the gayest lil cubitos around did a lil healing on my gay lil heart :)#qsmp lore#life's just a lil more bright with a lil bit of rainbow ya know?#lgbtqsmp#and then also tubbo having a lil vomit anytime hideduo looked at each other while fogetting how humans speak whenever fred looked at him#frubbo
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when people refer to canon story-relevant kingdom hearts games as ‘spinoffs’ it makes me sad not only for the obvious reasons i always say but also bc like man i WISH this series had spinoffs. imagine what they could do if they had permission from nomura to truly go off the rails and ignore the greater canon for a second and just do some fun whimsical plotless thing in an alternate universe. imagine a fishing/boating game on destiny islands. kh fighting game. it is an injustice that we have been deprived of kingdom karts. can anyone hear me
#in terms of alternate gameplay and lack of reliance on plot#i feel like melody of memory is the closest thing kh has actually had to a spinoff#but even that is important in its own way in the end#union cross to a certain degree as well what with being an online multiplayer gacha type game#its original concept i would definitely classify as a spinoff game#bc it was set in a totally different world and time period and was supposed to be about customization and fun with friends#and nomura or someone said it wasn’t meant to be connected to the plot#but then like. he did very much go and give it a plot. like he went back on that almost immediately#and even then. given that the game is still very much combat and exploration#even from the beginning can it really be called a spinoff? it’s just kh in a different format#i’m talking like a game in which the objective is something totally different.#racing game or cooking game or fighting game or (another) rhythm game#ace attorney style detective game. dancing game. dude i don’t know#there are so many different flavors they could go with here#alas nomura is allergic to genuine whimsy which is hilarious given that this is a disney series#like he apparently was like ‘ohhh should we really let sora in smash? would it make sense in the story?’#my brother in christ surely we’re not supposed to interpret this as canon to kh right? right????#i guess it’s just that the kh franchise has a very specific pristine vibe he wants to maintain#which is disney shenanigans as a seasoning on top of a main dish of Stone Cold Serious Anime Plot#kingdom hearts#kh#mine: kh
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did a piece in the LU server's gift exchange ! something of survival and reunions and smug little shadowguys
#LU5thGiftX#linked universe#lu#shadow lu#four lu#vio lu#green lu#wolfie lu#twilight lu#warriors lu#wild lu#legend lu#blue lu#red lu#wind lu#hyrule lu#sky lu#time lu#dragon doodles#I really hope my giftee ends up liking it! this was my first exchange and I was somewhat stressed but I'm pretty happy with the end result#ended up doing several art things I haven't done in ages AND tried several new art things. was a pretty good experience! :D#why did I decide to manually cel-shade those patterned blankets though. something's wrong with me LOL#next day bonus fun fact this was initially conceptualized as an animated short. this obviously didn't work out xD but the heart's there
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#Xion#kingdom hearts#my art#here she is. not 100%happy with it but I'm content enough#I did something and that's all that matters lol#hope you guys like it.
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Eepy hours
#Good night I need to sleep so bad now#in which Chloe still has to work on a paper and Red was bothering her#and yes those are Reds silky nice sleep pants that chloe stole#hence why red is sitting in her lap bc something something something my pants my seat#red is so tired and Chloe is so comfortable... she just fell asleep#eepiest girl in the world#chloe charming#red hearts#I ALMOST WROTE RED CHARMING LOL THEY'RE NOT MARRIED YET AND I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT LAST NAMES RN#rise of red#descendants rise of red fanart#descendants rise of red#glassheart#redcharming#these are unrelated to my last post lol#sable arts#if u notice red's chipped blue nail polish#her and chloe had a nail painting session together and red chose the closest to chloe-color-blue that they had on hand#chloe did it for her so she has refused to take it off and its just been slowly worn away by life activities
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もう一回、もう一回
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#fushiguro megumi#yuji itadori#itafushi#ryoumen sukuna#megumi fushiguro#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#gomen its hina posts self indulgent art hours#this is fr me first and foremost. any1 else liking it is just a bonus in my eyes#i may not be able to animate but i am so happy with these regardless i think they turned out great :') treat fr Me#rolling girl megumi u mean so much 2 me suddenly#fun fact ! actually the first vocaloid song i ever listened to. stumbled across an audio post on this very tumblr dot com#and it forever changed the course of my taste in music#so it alr has a soft spot in my heart fr tht reason but Also the lyrics Also th whole deal w wowaka and Now w megumi.....#rolling girl u have become too powerful#anyway in th context of canon n megumi choosing to live i am choosing to interpret the song the less depressing way#where the boy represents a saving grace rather than being a personification of miku's char's demons convincing her to end it#n the ending being her deciding to stop fighting on her own n instead accept help from those around her#but i did also want to pay homage 2 the interpretation of him representing her inner demons#so i have redraws of both yuuji And sukuna as the boy#choose ur own adventure if u will#clutches heart why does it fit so WELL what cosmic force decided tht miku and jjk should overlap at all i just wanna talk#clearly something has it out fr me
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