#that coward fucking blocked me before i could answer

[empresskylo]

ೃ⁀➷ call of duty incorrect quotes

⋆｡°✩ all featuring gn!reader insert ⋆｡°✩ AUTHOR'S NOTE | hopefully these aren't cringey lol, i pulled most of them from pinterest. i just thought they'd be fun. let me know if you'd want to see more.

cod masterlist | main masterlist

soap: *bursts into the room, starts panicking* ghost: you: ghost: what happened? soap: no one died you: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER–

gaz: have you heard the joke about the gaslighter? soap: no... gaz: no, you definitely have. soap: no I haven't. gaz: you've literally heard it before. soap: no i haVEN'T gaz: yes you have soap: I DON'T KNOW IT?!? gaz: you're crazy, man. ghost: *hiding his smirk* you: *giggling beside ghost*

soap: I just fell– you: from heaven? soap: no, like I literally just fell– you: in love with me? soap: my fucKING ARM IS BROKEN you: okay, but do you think i'm pretty? be honest.

you: i sleep with a dagger under my pillow. gaz: weak. I sleep with a gun. ghost: you're both pathetic. you: oh?? and what do you sleep with? ghost: soap. you: *spits out drink*

you: what are you, 5? konig [snorts]: yeah, 5 heads taller than you. you: konig: konig: I'm sorry, please don't kill me.

you [on the phone]: uh... price? price [tired]: is the base on fire? you: well...no? price: then it's not an emergency price: *hangs up* gaz: WHAT DID HE SAY? you: he said it's not an emergency. soap [pinned under a cabinet that ghost and alejandro are trying to get off him]: HOW IS THIS NOT AN EMERGENCY

ghost: i invited you into the woods because I crave the most dangerous game. you and soap [both nodding]: knife monopoly. ghost: i was actually going to hunt you for sport but now i'm interested in whatever the fuck knife monopoly is.

ghost: *is carrying all the groceries* you: *holds out a hand to help* ghost: *aggressively moves all the groceries to one hand to hold your hand*

you: can you keep a secret? ghost: do you know anything about my life? you: no, i do not. good point.

[you and ghost texting] you: where are you? ghost: turn around ghost: no the other way ghost: wrong way again you: ghost, where exactly are you?? ghost: at base, but the thought of you turning aimlessly in circles amuses me.

soap: go big or go home! you [tears in your eyes]: i am begging you, soap. for once in your life, go home. please. just this once. go home. ghost: *nods in agreement* soap: i'm going big!

soap: hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers? you: peonies, why? soap: you: were you going to get me flowers? soap: you: soap: it's a possibility...

you: why are you smiling? price: what? can't I just be happy? soap: gaz tripped and fell in the parking lot.

ghost: i wish i could block people in real life. you: restraining order. soap: murder. gaz: jesus fucking chr–

you: so you don't have a thing for anyone at the moment? soap: well... i didn't say that. you: oh. what's she like then? soap: you're just gonna assume they're a 'she'? you: are they– you: are they not a girl? soap: *gay panic*

ghost: i made tea. you: i don't want tea. ghost: i didn't make tea for you. this is my tea. you: then why are you telling me? ghost: it's a conversation starter. soap [looking between you two, confused] you: that's not really a conversation starter. ghost: oh, it isn't? we're conversing, aren't we? checkmate. you [scoffing]: well it's a lousy one then. ghost: never said it wasn't. you: *looking at soap* soap: *looking at you*

price: what does 'take out' mean? alejandro: food. gaz: dating. soap: murder. you: it can mean all three if you're not a coward. ghost: soap: gaz: price: you: what?

ghost: look, i know you think my judgment is clouded because i like soap a little bit. you [holding ghost's notepad]: you doodled your wedding invitations. ghost: no, that's our joint tombstone. you: oh, right, my mistake.

konig: hello, welcome to our first debrief. konig: today we're talking about... you [whispering]: building loyalty. konig: killing royalty. you [under your breath]: oh my god.

ghost: i am a very bad person. very very bad person. i am a horrible person. soap: you: gaz: ghost: "no you're not, ghost! we still love you, ghost!"

[cevansbrat0007]

A Friend in the Dark Part II

Summary: After receiving an unexpected call from you in the middle of the night, Ari's not going to let anything stop him from getting to you. But will he make it in time? Takes place directly after the events in A Friend in the Dark: Part I.

Warnings: Mature Themes, Ari Being A Menace, References to Home Invasion, Scared Reader, Pet Names, Cursing, Minors DNI

A/N: Special thanks to my creative consultant, @curls-and-eyeliner, who helped me come up with the opening. Part my Sweet Renegade Series. Semi-proofread, not beta'd. All mistakes are my own. Likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated. Thanks for reading!

Ari Levinson’s P.O.V.

Although it feels like hours, it’s really only a matter of minutes before Ari finds himself pulling onto your street. Not wanting to call attention to himself, he immediately kills his headlights before throwing his truck into neutral, quietly gliding down the block. 

He already knows which home is yours – the one with the rose bushes out front. Stopping a couple houses down, the bounty hunter swiftly exits his vehicle. After triple-checking the gun in his waistband, he knows it’s time to make his way to you. 

Ari moves with lethal grace, his corded muscles tense and ready to strike should an enemy make the mistake of crossing his path. As he gets closer, he spots Milton’s cruiser parked a ways down the street.

Perfect.

The burly lawman tosses a brief glance over his shoulder, just to make sure he isn’t being followed – the last thing he needed was someone sneaking up behind him. A blow to the back of the head could be deadly, even for someone as big as him. 

He does a swift scan of your front yard, noting that nothing appears out of place. Holding his breath, Ari tunes his ears to the silence, quieting the sound of his own heartbeat as he wills his military instincts to take over. During his brief conversation with you, you’d said that the intruder had been at your back door.

Which meant that was exactly where he needed to be. Heaven help the fucker if he was dumb enough to still be there, scaring the shit out of his girl. 

He draws his gun and dispenses the safety, holding it low with both hands as he stealthily makes his way around the side of your house. It was time to confront whoever was out there, hiding in the dark like a coward. 

“Gotchu, motherfucker!” He barks, aiming his weapon in the air. 

Except there’s nobody there. 

Although he’s surprised, he remains on high alert. Keeping his head on a swivel, he slowly climbs the steps leading to your back porch. He takes a moment to examine the door, smoothing his fingers along the cracked, splintered wood. The frame itself is also bent and hopelessly warped.

It didn’t take an expert to see that someone had indeed been here at one point. Most likely trying to kick the damned thing down. The whole thing appeared to be hanging on by a thread as it was.

“Shit.” Ari hisses under his breath. Raking an agitated hand through his hair, he pulls out his phone and dials your number once again. “C’mon, baby. Answer the fucking phone for me.”

Why the fuck weren’t you picking up? Had the intruder managed to make their way inside some other way? Ice fills his veins at the prospect of someone holding you captive inside. Scaring you. Hurting you. 

If that something happened to you because he hadn’t gotten here fast enough, Ari would never be able to forgive himself. 

And just where the fuck was Milton? Out in the woods somewhere holding his dick?

At that moment, Ari makes a snap decision. He was determined to get into that house. Frankly, he’d already wasted enough time out here hemming and hawing as it was. Taking a step back and leveling the door with the most powerful kick he can muster, sending it flying open with a loud thunk. 

Taking no time to celebrate, the bounty hunter goes to make his way inside only to duck when he notices an object come flying at his head at the last second. Thankfully, it connects with the door frame instead of his skull.

Your P.O.V.

“Get the fuck out of my house!” You screech, swinging your bat wildly at the large figure that just tried to break their way into your home. “I’m crazy and I’ll kill you! Lord, help me, I’ll do it!” You continue swinging, attempting to keep the intruder at bay on your front porch until help arrives. 

“Wait – stop!” The intruder pleads, throwing up a hand in the dark as his weapon goes flying. 

“I’ve called the cops, you pig-fuckin’ bastard.” You spit, raising your Louisville Slugger high. They’re on their way and –”

“Goddamn it, baby!” Ari roars, scrambling away from the assault. “It’s me! I am the cops!”

That’s enough to knock the wind out of your sails almost immediately. Blood roaring in your ears, you belatedly realize that you’d almost just turned the very man who came to rescue you into a frickin’ vegetable. 

“Ari?” You whisper, finally allowing the bat to fall limply at your feet. “Oh…oh God.”

For a brief moment, all you can do is stare at each other. You, relieved to see him here. Him, relieved to see you unhurt. And it’s only as that feeling of relief begins to settle in is that you begin to shake. Covering your mouth with trembling hands, you watch the bounty hunter stand and collect his gun, before turning on the safety and tucking it back into the security of his jeans. 

“Hey there, sweetheart.” 

You don’t think. Don’t question. Instead you just launch yourself into his arms, praying that he’ll catch you.

Of course he does.

“Why the fuck didn’t you answer your phone?” He growls after a beat, pulling away to assess you for injuries. His large, warm hands make quick work of checking you out before gently cupping your face. “Huh? Why the fuck did you go quiet on me like that?”

You rest your smaller hands atop his as Ari brushes a feather-light kiss along your brow. His big body feels so tense beneath your touch. He’s wrapped so tightly, you’re almost certain he’s bound to go off at any moment. 

“I…” You swallow thickly as you will yourself to stop shaking. “I was trying to use the element of surprise. I took my phone with me but…when he started really trying to bust down the door I knew I had to do something, so I –”

“FREEZE!” A new voice yells, taking you both by surprise. Your bounty hunter immediately spins on his heel, pushing you behind him to protect you from view. 

Fucking Milton had finally arrived. A day late and a dollar short. 

“Jesus Christ, asshole.” Ari snarls, briefly raising his hands in the air long enough for the officer to recognize the fact that there was no discernable threat. “Where the hell have you been?”

“Got held up on the way here. I’ll, uh, tell you about it later, Levinson.” Is all he says, holstering his weapon. “You okay there, darlin?”

Later he would pull the lawman aside and let him know that someone had tried to hold him up. Make it difficult for him to get here as fast as the situation had warranted. It wasn’t quite suspicious, but still odd nevertheless. 

“She’s fine.” Ari answers on your behalf, circling a possessive arm around your waist. “Fine as can be, anyway.” He continues when you nod at his side. “Almost took my head off with a baseball bat before you got here.”

“Well, I reckon I wouldn’t expect anything less from one of The Creek’s champion softball players.” Milton responds with a tired grin, his hand coming up to massage the back of his neck. “How bad’s the damage to the door?”

“Eh…” Your bounty hunter attempts to shoo you inside with a guiding hand. “Whoever our guy is did a pretty good job damn near kicking the thing off the hinges. I just finished the job. I just wanna get her indoors so we can – wait.”

Ari stops cold, his entire body going stiff as if he’d only just realized something. 

“What’s wrong?” You ask, turning to face him, briefly halting his attempts to move you along. 

“You said you just got here?” You know the question is meant solely for Milton. 

“Yeah.” The officer responds, clearly perplexed by where Ari seems to be going with this. “Why?”

“Baby, you ain’t wearin’ nothing’ but a gown and slippers.” He murmurs, his lips hovering just above your ear. “Stop fightin’ me and go inside where it’s warm. Please.”

It’s an order, that much you can tell. But as much as you want to protest, you decide to do as you’re bid, leaving the two lawmen alone. 

Just this once.

“Good girl.” He praises you, still keeping his voice low even as his words warm your belly. “We’ll be along in a moment.”

Ari’s P.O.V.

“What’s up, Levinson?” Milton tries again once you’re safely out of earshot. 

“When I pulled in, there was a cruiser already parked halfway down the block. Assumed it was you and kept it moving.” 

“That’s awful strange.”

“I know.” Ari grunts, hands on his hips. “Did you call this out over the radio?”

“Well, yeah.” The officer shrugs as he wracks his brain for more details. “But nobody responded. Figured it would just be me and you and that would be enough.”

“Well, clearly someone else heard it.” Your bounty hunter snaps. “You didn’t see anyone when you pulled up? They weren’t still parked there?”

“No.” Milton scrubs a hand along his jaw. “I came the opposite way you did. Only saw your truck.” Turning on his flashlight he flashes it towards the woods beckoning along the edge of your property. “And did you see anyone trying to break-in when you got here?”

“No. But the damage was already done.”

“Think you chased ‘em off?”

“Maybe.” Ari murmurs, his tone rife with suspicion. “But I doubt it. Somethin’ tells me the fucker dipped before I even stepped foot on the lawn.” 

“Fucking. Awesome.” The officer blows out a tired breath. Turning off his flashlight, he lightly claps the other man on the shoulder. “Look. We ain’t gonna get anywhere with this shit tonight.”

“Yeah.” He drags out the word. “Yeah, I know.” God, he needed a fucking cigarette.

“It’s late. I still need to get her statement. We…we can pick this up in the morning.” 

With nothing else left to say, the confused and frustrated men head for your front porch. Regardless of wherever Milton stood on the subject, Ari vows to get to the bottom of this bullshit. 

But first he wanted – no, he needed – to see to you.

Your P.O.V.

It’s nearly 5:00am before Officer Milton walks out your front door, leaving you alone with the one man who had the power to keep you off balance. Right now the two of you are sitting in your kitchen, each sipping a mug of hot tea with an added splash of whiskey. 

Ari had been quiet for most of your conversation with the young officer, only interjecting where and when he felt it necessary. He’d also fetched you tissues when you started to cry, and even held your hand during the…more harrowing portion of your evening. 

“Thank you.” You tell him, your voice barely above a whisper when you finally break the silence. “For coming tonight.”

He wants to tell you that he’ll always come, whenever you call. But he can’t quite seem to summon up the words. So instead he simply settles on: “You’re welcome.”

“You…you don’t have to stay.”

“I know.” 

But Ari makes no move to get up. He’s not sure he’s capable of it. Not with you sitting here looking every inch the fragile little bird that you are. Now he knew that you, his woman, had two sides.

You were either his firebrand of a Duchess, or his sweet, soft little Bird. But what you didn’t know is that he was absolutely willing and wanting to keep you. Both of you. 

Clearing his throat, your bounty hunter leans back in his chair, his turbulent blue gaze clashing with yours. “You’re gonna need someone to fix that door.” His tone comes off a little more gruff than he intends.

With a sigh, you come to rest your head on your hand. “I’m afraid it’s too early for me to call the insurance company just yet.”

“I’ll take care of it.”

His response catches you completely off guard. You stare back at him with wide eyes, silently wondering how much the whiskey was talking. 

“Sweetheart.” Once again you find your hand encased in the warmth of his, squeezing gently. “It’s gonna take the insurance company days, if not weeks, to handle this. You and I both know you can’t go that long without a proper door.”

“But I still need to report it…” You protest, hating the fact that you can’t get your brain to work as fast as you would like. 

“So do that. But in the meantime, I’ve got a buddy who owes me a favor. I’ll get him and his boys out here and we’ll get you fixed up good and proper.” 

“I can’t afford that.” 

“Did anyone ask you to pay?” He responds, making it known that he had it in him to be just as stubborn as you. Releasing his grip, he scoots away from the table. Standing up, he picks up your mugs before depositing them in the sink. 

“Ari.” While you mean to sound firm, his name comes out more like a whine, making him smile. 

“How about you get on up to bed, hm?” He murmurs when he sees your head start to dip. Now that all that adrenaline had run its course, you were plum exhausted. “I’ll close up down here. Maybe find some tarp to put over that back door until we can get you the real thing.” 

“You’re so bossy.” 

“Hmph.” Ari grunts as he helps you stand. “Afraid it’ll only get worse the more I have to repeat myself.” 

Your sweet, yet incredibly stubborn lawman runs an affectionate hand over your curls. Unable to help yourself, you lean in, burying your face in his chest to inhale his scent. And even though part of you is waiting for him to push you away, you struggle not to melt on the spot when you feel him press a tender kiss on top of your head. 

“Off to bed with you, little Bird.” He rumbles after a minute, knowing this has already gone on longer than it should’ve. “Get a move-on, now.” 

You’re in such a haze that you don’t even bother to call him out over yet another stupid nickname. First Duchess and now this? You were gonna give this handsome jerk a piece of your mind after you got some sleep. Perhaps you’d threaten to peck his eyes out or something…

Leaning on him even as you plot, you don’t balk as he leads you toward the stairs. Nor do you complain when you feel a territorial hand settle on your hip as he guides you to the foot of your bedroom where he watches you climb into bed. And you decide to ignore the way your belly flutters when you hear him calling you his “good girl” one last time. 

END

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[dilemmaontwolegs]

Oh to be a fly next to Daniel when he received the news about her pregnancy

His Best Man || DR3 {Daniel’s Reaction}

A/N: quick 700 words written on my phone 💕 F1 Masterlist || One || Two || Daniel’s Reaction

Daniel wouldn’t normally have his phone with him when he was meant to be listening to the debrief. His entire concentration should have been on the technicians reading the data from the free practice he had just completed. But since you hadn’t been feeling the best you decided to stay home instead of going to the paddock, and it had left him feeling a little unsettled. He missed your company.

Like a teenager in class, he had his phone on his lap hidden under the table and the moment it lit up he snatched it. His thumb froze over the green icon as his brain registered the name on the screen wasn’t yours.

“Excuse me, guys, I need to take this,” he interrupted as he abruptly stood up and left the room. He and James hadn’t spoken since the phone call in Portland nearly two months ago and if the biometric monitor was still attached from the practice it would have caught the sudden spike in his heart rate.

For a second Daniel thought about letting the call go to voicemail but he wasn’t a coward, so he took a deep breath and answered the call. “Hello, mate, it’s been a while,” he greeted with a confidence he didn’t feel.

Immediately James’ laugh set him on edge and he closed the door to his driver room since there were still a lot of people loitering around. “Tends to happen when you fuck someone’s wife.”

“Ex-wife, which tends to happen when you’re a cheating piece of shit,” Daniel shot back.

“Hmm, I don’t remember signing any court documents.”

Daniel was usually patient by nature but his patience for this man had run out on the side of a highway in Perth. “Why did you call me, James?”

“I just thought we could celebrate the wonderful news together, since my wife is pregnant. I’m assuming you’re the father but considering she’s a whore, who knows?”

“Shut your fucking mouth, James,” Daniel growled as his hands threatened to crush the phone with the grip he had. “You don’t talk about her like that, ever, you understand!”

“That she’s a whore or that she’s pregnant? Because both are true.”

“You’re a fucking liar, and she can’t have kids, she already told me.”

James’ laugh sent Daniel’s stomach dropping and a cold fissure running down his spine. “Who's the liar now…”

The phone went dead before he could respond and he stared at his phone as it returned to his home screen. The image was one of his favourites, though every photo of you was technically a favourite, this one was perfect. You weren’t even paying attention to the camera as he snapped the shot, all of your focus was on the tiny joey cradled in your arms as you bottle fed it.

He already knew about your fertility struggles, it was no secret, but it was clear you would have been a great mother had you been given the chance. It was why he was struggling so much to digest James’ words. You wouldn’t have lied about that, he couldn’t believe it.

Needing the reassurance only you could provide, he tied the arms of his race suit around his waist and started to run. It wasn’t far to his apartment block from the paddock but it felt longer as he sprinted full pelt through the busy streets.

Daniel hadn’t even thought to bring his keys and after a few attempts at knocking loudly he went back to the front desk to borrow a spare one. The knots in his stomach had twisted into a noose by the time he unlocked the door and walked into the silent apartment.

Sweat beaded on his forehead and ran down his spine as he heard a soft sob come from the bathroom. The sound penetrated his heart and spurred him to close the distance in a mad dash to fix whatever had caused you pain but he never expected to find you the way he did. Pregnancy tests littered the floor, three bold plus signs staring him in the face as he stumbled back against the wall and let it take his weight and he slid down to the floor.

“You said you couldn’t have kids.”

[macsimagines]

Could I ask for Kisaki, Rindou, and Draken with partners that are insecure? Like they truly believe that their boyfriend/husband could do so much better than them

I've done this one already for Kisaki and Draken here but I can def do one for Rindou!! this is kind of like a part two to my EX! Ran Haitani headcanon set!! also idk why text colors are being weird i'll try to fix it later on

TW: YANDERE BEHAVIOR, MINORS DNI,

Yandere!Rindou Haitani

He loves you, adores you even. You're so soft and kind compared to his hard and mean. Rindou has always taken pride in being who he is. He's a Haitani brother, feared allover Tokyo and a ruler in charge of Roppongi.

But for you? Just you- He's Rin. Your loving boyfriend that is never too busy to spend time with you and never lacking in affection. He'll hold your hand gladly or throw a reassuring arm over your shoulder.

All the love in the world can't stop the thoughts in your head though. He's so much more than you'll ever be. You've seen him in action and his strength and overwhelming capabilities compared to your...to your anything just made you feel so dull in comparison.

Rin is beautiful, he catches the eye of every woman you walk past on the street. Rin is strong, he can beat men without breaking a sweat. Rin is powerful, he has people that flock to him at his beck and call and you are nothing.

"I just... I just think I'm holding you back," you tell him, over the phone because you're too much of coward to say it to his face, "I want... I want what's best for you-!" "What the fuck are you talkin' about, you're what's best for me! Baby-please-!" "I can't! I'm not enough, I'm sorry Rin."

And you hang up the phone, block his number. Its better this way, you're sure by this time next week he'll have moved onto someone else, someone better that could keep up with someone as amazing as him.

But then something unexpected happens. His brother comes looking for you. Rin warned you about him once, said that after a bad breakup with his girlfriend he hadn't been the same.

"I thought they got back together though?" you had asked him confused after he had told you. He never answered you back, just got this weird look on his face before giving you a warning; "Try not to get too close. And try not to piss him off."

Yet here he was, at your doorstep staring you down like you were the scum of the earth. Apparently you hadn't heeded the warning.

"Havin' fun?" he asks, not even blinking while he towers over you, and your voice is caught in your throat, too scared to even make a sound at the older Haitani. "Cause I'm sure fuckin' not."

And suddenly he's grabbing you by the hair so tight you're scared he's going to rip it from your skull, but no, he's dragging you out the door and down the steps of your apartment ignoring your cries and screams for help.

Muttering something the whole way to his car. Something like "...You bitches and the games you like to play. Fuck with our heads, you and my girl always got make fuckin' problems for us-"

Then he's shoving you into the passenger seat making sure you can't get out. One moment you feel like you've found your voice again and then the next it leaves you because Ran has a gun pointed right at you only seconds later.

"Your gonna fix this you ungrateful bitch," he spits, eyes so full of hate it makes you want to curl in on yourself, "Put my baby brother back together and act like you like it. Like you fuckin' love it. Or I'll kill you my damn self and make you regret makin' a fool out of the Haitanis. Do you understand, Y/N?"

You're not sure if you say yes or if you even or in affirmation before he's pulling out of the parking lot and speeding dangeroulsy to some unknown destination.

And you are crying, silently shaking and sobbing because you're so scared of what he's going to do and he's still holding the gun right at your head, muttering to himself yet again.

"I'll make it right- I'll fix him and he'll be ok- fuckin' women making us loose our goddamn minds-,"

Finally you pull into a warehouse, abandoned by the looks of it and new found fear arises in you- Is this where Ran is going to kill you? But no.... This is where Rin is.

You see him first, his eyes are dark and he looks so tired from his usual self, and his expression is so empty, so emotionless that you're worried for a split second but then you see...the man. At least that's what he used to be.

His face is beaten in, and his body is contorted in such a mangled way you're sure his limbs had been broken, and Rin is on top of him. Pummeling away at the already red and mangled face.

You can't help the small gasp that leaves you and you probably would've ran out there screaming had Ran not been holding you by the neck.

But your scream was enough to alert the younger Haitani, and he turns to look at you with eyes wild like an animals. "Y-Y/N?" he whispers standing on shaking legs, "B-baby is that you?"

It didn't matter how hard you tried you couldn't make out a single sound, too shocked by the scenes unfolding around you. Thankfully, Ran wasn't short on words....

"Ya, I brought Y/N here 'cause she has somethin' to say," Ran shoves you forward, making sure that the gun at his side is always within your view. A silent reminder of what he made you promise...

Rin doesn't let you get any words our before he's embracing you with bloodied hands, smearing another persons bodily fluid all over you... "Oh baby, please tell me you're back, please? Its been hell, I can't do this without you, I'm loosin' my fuckin' mind."

Its like your brain suddenly catches up with you. You have to say yes or else... "I-I'm back," you nod, hugging him back with shaking hands, "I'm... I'm sorry Rin."

And suddenly he's sobbing, pulling you away only so he could hold your face in his bloody hands to look into your eyes, "How could you do this to me, I love you so much,"

Ran once again, speaks. "You need to keep her in line," he tells his younger brother, much to your dismay, "Like I keep my girl. Don't worry. I'll teach you."

You could never leave Rin Haitani. Shame on you for even trying.

[zeroducks-2]

Freedom of speech but not freedom from consequences. Anti-censorship but we still don’t want to platform bigots 🫤 Coming from a neutral party, I think you could learn a lot from listening to all perspectives to avoid echo chambers. Form your own opinion instead of following a crowd. My opinion? Hate the person, not the ship. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover, but that is what the book cover is made for. I think it’s healthier if you and everyone else stopped trying to be antagonistic? How are you supposed to spread positivity if you’re always on the verge of angry ranting?

Okay I'm going to try and answer for the sake of the people who might read this kind of bs in their inboxes and be affected negatively by it, and maybe even feel like they're being unfair towards the very bullies which spend their energies harassing and insulting (and sometimes also doxxing and suicide bating) us.

Let's break this down.

1. "freedom of speech but not freedom from consequences" I can't even talk about some dark themes in fiction or my own personal history of real life abuse without getting termed here. Erotic art can't be posted almost anywhere at this point, and not just the kind antis dislike. Freedom is a construct on social media because ultimately these spaces are owned by someone, and you'll be kicked out if they don't like you.

2 "we don't want to platform bigots" no, absolutely we don't. Historically, giving a platform to bigots and hatemongers fosters hate, violence and censorship. Also I have no power to platform or deplatform anyone, I'm just a guy on tumblr, so I don't even know what you're on about with this. If I had the power to decide, trust me that I would kick the terfs the fuck out of here anyways. And also the cowards who hide under the anon cover to send hate and threats.

3 "listen to perspectives and avoid echo chambers" I'm over 30 and I've been a kinkster for most of my life. I'm queer. Among other things, history and queer history are in my field of studies. I didn't form my opinion here, I came here with one already. I listened to all the perspectives you might think of also because I was here when the rise of censorship and puritanism happened, and by the way you know who got deplatformed? The kinkster and the artists, surely not the bigots. I don't think I've ever seen an instance of an anti being blocked or termed for harassment, whereas blogs get blocked every day for having NSFW content.

4 "form your own opinion instead of following a crowd" again, do you really think I existed as a blank slate before creating this blog?

5 "my opinion is(...)" You sound like a Christian preacher and it gives me the heebiejeebies.

6 "it's healthier if you stopped trying to be antagonistic" sweetheart, we are being bullied every day. If you're someone who creates erotic art of any kind you're subjected to a ton of harassment, and if you create something which could be considered problematic, you get death threats. Suibating. Insults lathered with misogyny, transphobia, queerphobia, you get treated like a freak of nature and threatened to have your livelihood taken away. Or threats of doxxing and of deplatforming. And you might very well get your blog shut down. I'm going to stop being antagonistic when I'll stop being antagonized, and if you think that said bullying is justified and I should just suck it up - and I say this in the most antagonistic way possible - fuck off. Not one single ship or one single fictional character is worth the harassment of another human being.

7 "how are you supposed to spread positivity of you're always on the verge of angry ranting" What makes you think I want to spread postivity? No like, honestly. What makes you think that my purpose with this blog is that. I'm here to talk about my blorbos, and if this makes someone happy then good for them. If the fact that I'm opinionated and passionate about things bothers you, no one is forcing you to stay.

Your whole thing is a mix of victim blaming and fake neutrality which is not welcome on my blog. Please block me and go on with your life, I'm not interested in your empty platitudes.

To anyone else who's reading this, don't ever feel guilty for defending yourself and for fighting back against oppressive measures. There is never a good reason for harassment, and if you were subjected to it, it's in your right to be angry. No matter what p r o b l e m a t i c ship you posted about.

[loveisonaroll]

Major Confusion, Part 2

Here it is! Part 2.

Word Count: ~3k

Warnings: general angst, arguing, swearing, fluff.

------------------------

“Y/N? Ronnie, hey.”

Jake’s eyes were wide as he stood a few feet from you with his hand stretched out towards you, as if he was reaching out to stop you from leaving. 

“Hey, sorry I’m a little late. What’s going on, Y/N? Are you okay? You look like shit.” 

What do you say? She seemed genuinely concerned, you thought, but how could she be worried about you when everyone else in the house wanted you gone? When you didn’t answer, Jake’s venomous voice rang in your ears.

“Of course, you’re skipping out now. God, you couldn’t even wait until after our end of tour party to leave? You’re a coward.” 

Your eyes once again filled with tears as you stared past Ronnie’s shoulder. You didn’t need to turn around to know Jake’s face held a look of disgust. 

“Jake, that’s fucking rude—”

“No, Ronnie, he’s right. I am too much of a coward to stay in a home where I’m no longer welcome. It was nice getting to spend time with you this week. I hope you’ll still visit me.” 

As you turned to rush towards your car, you noticed two things: 1) your car was, in fact, blocked in by one of your guests, and 2) both yours and Jake’s parents were getting out of their respective vehicles. You froze for a beat before turning back towards Jake and Ronnie. 

“Our parents. My parents,” you rushed out, mirroring Jake’s widened eyes. You grabbed your bag off of your shoulder and thrusted it in Ronnie’s hands. “I’m going to go clean up. Just…let’s just get through this. Everything is fine.” 

You rushed back up the stairs towards the bedroom to freshen up your makeup. You stared at your reflection for a moment in disbelief. Your parents were known to flake on your plans. You had lived in the city a mere two hours from your hometown for almost ten years, and you could count on one hand the times they had ever visited you. They had been invited to the party, and you were excited to show off your newly completed home. But they had canceled a couple days beforehand, which was unfortunately not a surprise to you. It was, however, a surprise to you that they had shown up anyways. You just hoped you could keep the obvious end of your relationship a secret until you had the chance to process it yourself. 

After you went back downstairs, the party moved along without a hitch with you and Jake staying to opposite sides of every room. Thankfully, both your and Jake’s parents treated you like normal, asking about the furniture you had picked out and how exciting it must be to have a home in your favorite city. Ronnie seemed to divide her time with you and her brothers equally, though you could see her irritation with Jake from across the room with every eyeroll. 

“So has Jake seen his office yet?” Karen smiled, wrapping a warm arm around your shoulders.

You smiled hesitantly back and bit your lip. “No, he hasn’t. He’s been busy with company since he got in.” You silently hoped she would accept your response without any comment. 

“Well, I would like to see it. Maybe we can all go see it together?” 

Before you could stop her, she was making her way towards her husband and Jake who were having a side conversation near the bar. As if she could see the terror on your face, Ronnie appeared at your side. 

“What’s up?”

“Nothing, I just…your mom wants all of us to go look at the office. I just think he’s going to hate it and it’s going to be so embarrassing in front of your parents and my parents.”

Ronnie’s hand fell to your shoulder as she shook her head. “He’s not going to hate it. I think he’s going to love it. You put so much thought into it.”

As much as Ronnie tried to encourage you, you just couldn’t shake his words of irritation earlier when you had mentioned adding a little something to his office. When Karen reappeared by your side with her husband, your boyfriend, and your parents in tow, you were almost positive you were going to vomit from your nerves. 

“Let’s see this office, shall we?” Kelly, Jake’s dad, clapped his hands together and looked at you expectedly. 

Maybe you were moving too slow, or maybe you were stalling, but Jake huffed slightly and grabbed your hand to pull you in the direction of his home office and studio. “No time like the present for a present, darling,” he joked to hide his annoyance from your entourage. 

The closer you got to the room, the more anxious you became. “If you don’t like it, I can just take everything out and put it back the way it was,” you rambled nervously. 

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll love it, Jake! Y/N’s just being modest. I’ve seen the pictures and I think it’s perfect!” Jake’s mom gushed and your mother nodded her head in agreement from her spot next to her. 

Even still, your anxiety was taking ahold of you. Your eyes started to water and your throat felt like it was closing up as you made eye contact with Jake. His abrasive demeanor seemed to falter a bit when your eyes met, but you just shook your head and bit your lip as you turned the doorknob. 

The collective gasps eased the tension in your shoulders a bit as you and your group entered the room. 

“Oh, honey, you did such a beautiful job,” you mother cooed. Similarly, Jake’s parents offered their own praises for the room. 

The room really did seem to fit Jake perfectly. With the help of Jake’s dad Kelly, you had transformed the built-in bookshelves into climate-controlled instrument cases that lined one wall of the office. On the opposite end of the room from the point of entrance was a large bay window with the set of worn leather chairs Jake had purchased for his previous apartment—his first big furniture purchase as an adult. Throughout the office were various bohemian rugs of rich colors and enough furniture to have all of Jake’s brothers and friends play music with him. The wall opposite the instrument cases, though, held your own personalization of the space. The ceilings in your home were 13 feet, and you filled that space with prints of first-edition patents of some of Jake’s favorite things framed in custom built sound-absorbing frames. Patents of various instruments, including the body style of his beloved Gibson SG, the first patented compass and a motorcycle. What you were most nervous about, though, was an additional patent you placed in the bottom right corner. One that memorialized something significant in your life. One that you placed there as a reminder of you.

Jake and your dads inspected the instrument cases while you moms made a beeline to the window and chairs, all with a look of awe on their faces. Ronnie smiled as she moved towards the wall of patents, placing her hands on her hips in satisfaction. She had been a huge help in finding the right person to make the frames, and this week she had spent most of her time visiting helping you get the room ready for its reveal. You knew that seeing the room complete and her brother experiencing it for the first time was a proud moment for her, too.

You stayed back and observed from your place leaned against the door frame. As you watched Jake flit around the room taking in his new space, your heart felt heavy in your chest. You loved him with every fiber of your being, and you spent so much time meticulously decorating his office to create a space he would love. But you couldn’t shake the way he had treated you earlier in the day. 

When Jake came to stand in front of your patent wall, he seemed enamored. His eyes floated across each drawing, studying each a little more than the last. When he came to the last patent, he reached out to touch the frame, huffing a small breath of air before he turned to look at you. 

“If you don’t like any of them, we can find something else to put in the frames. That last one was more for me so if you don’t want it in here…” you trailed off, biting the inside of your cheek as you ducked your head towards your hands. 

“Baby…” you saw his tattered boots come into view before you felt his hands grasp the sides of your face to gently coerce your eyes to meet his. “This office…wow. It’s better than I could have even imagined. I wouldn’t change a single thing.”

“Are you sure?” you whispered so only he could hear. 

Jake only smiled and gave you a soft peck on the lips before engulfing you in his arms. It was the first time that day his lips had met yours, and you finally got a glimpse of the man you knew and so desperately craved.

Your moment was short lived, however, and soon the office was filled with the curious ruckus of his brothers and friends. Another first of the day was the genuine appreciation the rest of his group showed you in that moment. 

But all parties come to an end. Both sets of your parents left to their hotel rooms, and the band and their friends hadn’t left the office since discovering its wonders. You had heard a collection of instruments and singing all evening, and you smiled to yourself thinking about how much fun they have playing together, even after a months-long tour. 

Before cleaning up the kitchen, you decided to make your way to the office. You saddled up to Ronnie and threw your arms around her shoulders to thank her for all her help this week. You truly couldn’t have had it all finished in time if it wasn’t for her. 

As you looked over Ronnie’s shoulder, your heart sank to the bottom of your stomach. Jake sat in one of his leather chairs, guitar held lazily in his lap, and sitting on the arm of his chair with her arm resting on the back of the chair behind Jake’s head was his ex, Hailey. She had her head thrown back, laughing at something someone had said, and Jake’s face was full of amusement as he watched her. Maybe it was innocent, maybe it wasn’t, but you didn’t want to stick around to find out. As Ronnie turned around to figure out what had you so taken aback, you fled the room. 

“Jacob Thomas Kiszka, what the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

--

When you made it to your shared bedroom, all you could do was collapse at the foot of the bed in a pile of tears. You knew the short moment your shared in the office was too good to be true. He must have been putting on a show for your parents, you thought. How else could he go right back to freezing you out?

At least you had a bag packed. You wiped at your eyes and cleared your vision enough to pick your bag up from where Ronnie had placed it earlier in the evening. When you turned towards the door to leave, Ronnie was barging through with Jake hot on her heels. 

“Do you want to know why my brother was being a giant prick to you all day? He thought you were cheating on him!”

“Ronnie, what the fuck? I told you it was my place to tell her, not yours!”

“Shut up, Jake. He thought you were cheating on him with your coworker, you know, the one that helped us hang up all those frames for his office?” Ronnie dismissed her brother by stepping in front of him and closer to you. 

“God, do you ever know when to shut u—”

“Is that true?” you cut him off, newfound tears welling up in your eyes. 

“I—baby, I’m so sorry I didn’t trust you, I just saw that video and immediately made assumptions an—” Jake tried to rush all of his words out, but Ronnie interrupted him once again.

“All from a Ring video that doesn’t even show who he was kissing! If you would have just asked you would have known it was his wife who was also helping decorate your nice little office!”

“Okay, Ronnie, that’s enough.” Ronnie threw up her hands in exasperation at her brother and stomped out of the room.

Your head was reeling, honestly. It was coming back to you, the day you had asked your coworker’s interior-designer wife to help find the right pieces for the office. She had recruited your coworker, Jared, to help hang the patent frames a few days before Jake had made it back home, and when he rang the doorbell that day you had sent his wife to greet him. 

“Why didn’t you confront me with this, Jake?”

“I’m so sorry. I just—I jumped to conclusions without asking you. I am such an idiot.” Jake ran a hand through his hair and sat at the foot of the bed. “I should have asked you about it first.”

You shook your head in disbelief, crossing your arms as you moved to stand in front of him. “I can’t believe you didn’t trust me enough. Every time I see a picture or a video of someone who looks like you with another woman or an old picture with an old girlfriend, you know what the first thing I think of is? I think, it must be an old picture, or it must be someone else. You know why? Because I trust you, Jake. I trust that you wouldn’t jeopardize our relationship like that because you love me too much and I couldn’t fathom a life without you.”

You could practically see the tension rise in Jake’s hunched shoulders as he roughly rubbed his face with his hands. Still, you continued. 

“And you were so awful to me today. In fact, everyone except your sister and our parents ignored me most of the day, so I assume they thought I was a cheater. I was so excited to see you, to celebrate you, to show you the house in person. But I didn’t get to do that.” You wiped your nose harshly as you openly cried while ranting. “And don’t even get me started with your ex being here. That was so hurtful, Jake.”

Jake remained quiet for a moment, but he eventually looked up at you with red-rimmed eyes. “I know. I’ve made a lot of mistakes today, and if I could go back and change it I would. I am so sorry, Y/N. I just…it’s not an excuse at all, but sometimes I think you might want someone more available, and when I saw that video I just let my insecurities convince me.” 

He was looking away from you now, roughly wiping at his face with the side of his palm. You knew he hated crying, and even more so in front of people, but you only had a little sympathy for him left. 

“I just…I’m sorry. I love you so goddamn much and that scares me. I should have never thought any less than you, especially when all you think is the world of me. I mean, shit, look at my fucking office. You got everything perfectly matched to me, and I thought you were cheating on me. How fucking ridiculous of me.”

“Babe…” you whispered, gently placing a hand under his chin to pull his face back towards you. “I love you, too. But this cannot happen again. There’s no reason to not trust each other or to not communicate things that trouble us.”

Jake slowly moved to stand, taking your face in his hands and wiping away tear tracks with his thumbs. “I know, and I promise I won’t jump to any more conclusions without talking it out with you. You’re my partner, and our relationship is a two-person job.”

You turned your face to kiss the inside of one of his wrists. “Thank you for apologizing. I just think I need some space tonight, if that’s okay.”

Jake sadly smiled and nodded his head. “Of course it’s okay, baby. I’ll go bunk with Josh like the old days. Just promise you’ll unpack that bag eventually?”

“I promise,” you assured him, giving him a soft peck on the lips. 

As much as you loved him, and as determined as you were to work at a healthy relationship with him, you needed some time to process the events of the day. So when Ronnie showed up in your doorway after Jake made his way down the hall with a bottle of wine in her hand, you had an impromptu sleepover filled with ranting about her brother and watching comfort rom-coms. 

--

The next morning you awoke to the smell of breakfast and the sound of running water, and Ronnie was nowhere to be found. When you made your way to the kitchen, you smiled in amusement. Jake and Sam both adorned aprons and were arguing over the appropriate amount of yolk “runnage,” and Josh and Danny were tackling the dishes from the party before. Ronnie, looking ever relaxed with her feet propped up on the kitchen table, smiled as she noticed your figure in the doorway. 

“Good morning, sleepyhead. Isn’t this a great sight, men being right where they belong—in the kitchen?”

You chuckled at Ronnie’s candor and wrapped your arms around Jake’s waist and leaned your head on his shoulder. “Good morning, baby,” you murmured.

“Good morning, sunshine. It’s a new day, isn’t it?” Jake turned his head to place a kiss to your forehead. 

“It really is,” you smiled. 

[decaf-mother]

"Close Bonds"

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Part 1 - Part 3

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Alec 'Everest' Amanzi x F!Reader x Aiden 'Vortex' Dunbar

Rookie|Y/N

-

Warnings: Unrealistic, Fluff, OCs x Reader, Love Triangle, Bullying, Transphobia (Vortex is Trans)

-

You found yourself spending most of your time with Vortex and Everest, only occasionally interacting with the others that were around.

You quickly found that they were best friends, consistently sparring together, eating together and generally just hanging around one another. Today you were seated between them at the table, listening to Vortex ramble about a 'cool spot' he found.

"You have to come and see it!"

Everest hummed contentedly and shook his head.

"Last time I went to see something with you I had to hike for an hour through the woods. I'll pass."

"It's a great view though! You'll come with me later, right?"

It caught you by surprise when his gaze shifted to you instead, bright smile and pretty green eyes twinkling with hope. It made it really hard to say no... Maybe it'd be good to have a little adventure anyways.

"Fine but it better not be too far."

"It won't be and it'll be worth it! I promise!"

He sounded so chipper and sincere- shuffling slightly and Everest chuckled a bit.

"You two have fun. Don't go dragging her around though."

This lead to a bit of laughter from you as well, eyes flicking up to meet Everest's. So calm and gentle to the point it's easy to get lost in them, it's like his warmth could absorb you.

They were so different- one was a powerful whirlwind of energy that drags you out of your shell and bleeds into you with pure life. The other soothes you and allows your mind and everything to simply be at ease.

"Would you like to know how we first met?"

Everest offered a story- one of back when he first was introduced to Vortex.

"It was actually back when we were in highschool. After highschool we were separated for years and then as luck would have it- we both ended up here."

"Small world!"

Vortex chimed in.

-

Splash

Soda coated Everest's torso entirely and he stood there, sticky and dripping while the bullies simply laughed at him.

"The big freak won't even defend himself. What a coward."

His silence was loud- the laughter deafening as he took a step back and tried to simply walk away. Only for one of them to block his path.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Before Everest could respond the bully grabbed the back of his head and grunted in pain, a rock had been thrown at him.

"Fuck off chicken shit."

There stood a drastically short curly haired ginger who was quite filled with rage.

This of course did not set well and that's when the yelling between all of them started.

"You'll never be a guy- you realize that, right?!? You're a fucking freak-"

Before he could finish his sentence he was harshly flung to the ground, Everest standing over him now planting his boot firmly on his chest.

"Enough."

-

For some reason that story explains a lot about their dynamic. Smiling warmly at the two you finished eating and stood up.

"Got stuff to do... I'll see ya around."

"See ya."

"Bye!"

••

Slumping forward with a groan- you've been stressing over everything that needs to be done for hours. It was taking it's toll on your well being.

A soft knock forced you out of your head, dragging your body up from the chair to go answer it.

"Who is it?"

"It's me."

Opening the door slowly you peered up to see Everest, standing there with a mug of coffee in his hand... He got that specifically for you?

"May I come in?"

"Yeah... Of course."

He stepped in and set the mug down for you, eyes drifting to your face and taking in how exhausted you looked.

"You've been at this awhile. Take a break."

"I can't-"

"If you don't you'll burn yourself out. It's okay... Get some rest."

His tone wasn't rough like how most would regard you, yet still it was clear and unmoving. He wasn't going to let this go- he needed you to be alright.

He had noticed that you were over working yourself, taken note of all the little changes in your behavior.

And he's not just going to stand by while you burn your candle at both ends.

"Okay..."

-

{Hope y'all love them as much as I do. You guys are in a love triangle with best friends oops. LMAO}

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{@sofasoap @deadbranch @a-world-with0ut-dr34ms @a-small-writer-in-a-big-world @scar-crossedlvrs @blingblong55 }

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{More Content}

[sasquapossum]

"What should Israel do, if not this?"

That seems to be a common reply when anyone criticizes Israel's unwarranted escalation in Gaza. Usually it's accompanied by some kind of insinuation that the critic hates Israel and wants all Jewish people to die. See my well poisoning post about why that's a bullshit coward's tactic (unless it's deliberate disinformation, which that post also covers). I'll get to my answer in a moment, but first...

I do condemn Hamas, and particularly their recent actions. Strongly. Unequivocally. I mourn the loss of innocent life and dignity. I condemn those actions because I mourn those things, which is also why I condemn Israel's actions both before and after. I have always been and always will be less focused on Israel vs. Palestine, which is an enormously complex issue, than on choosing peace and compassion over violence and hate. That's the only side I'm really on, and it cuts across both traditional "sides" in most of these discussions. All I want is to minimize suffering - for the people of Palestine, for the people of Israel (many of whom disagree with their so-called leadership), and for Jewish people worldwide who are already being caught in the backlash.

OK, so am I allowed to have an opinion now? If you still insist the answer is no, GTFO or get blocked. Fallacies, disinformation, and gatekeeping are not welcome here. (OK, maybe some gatekeeping, but only by me because it's the gate to my room.) Warmongers are even less welcome. Are we down to just the sane people now? Good. Here's my answer to what Israel should do.

Not what the fucking US did after fucking 9/11

Invading Afghanistan, and particularly Iraq, was a mistake (which many of us pointed out at the time BTW). The latter was, of course, based on lies. Both cost trillions of dollars and - more importantly - millions of lives, to little lasting positive effect. Maybe we could have done some good in either place, independently of 9/11, with application of similar resources in different ways, but that is really a different discussion. For now, I'll just say what we actually did in the immediate aftermath of 9/11 represents a colossal failure to achieve any of our stated goals. Those people, "ours" or "theirs" or anyone, died for nothing.

What did eventually make al Qaeda less of a threat to peace? The term of art here is decapitation. We took out the leaders, one by one. That effort involved intelligence, often derived from cooperation with other countries including those we don't particularly like, and precision weapons or strike teams. We didn't have to "flatten" Abbottabad to eliminate bin Laden, or Kabul to eliminate al Zawahiri, and so on. One could argue that we were still in the wrong, but those actions were far less injurious and thus far less wrong than what we had been doing previously.

That brings us back to the present day. Israel has a highly capable intelligence apparatus, widely considered to be among the best in the world. It has precision weapons, ditto. Their ability to deliver precise violence to specific targets might be unparalleled, and has in fact been demonstrated many times. It was even demonstrated (though inconsistently used) the last time this particular conflict flared up. Anyone who wants to comment on Israel's actions needs to do so based on an understanding that these capabilities exist, and that their use was deliberately foregone. They weren't used to prevent this tragedy, and they're not being used to avoid the next one (or the inevitable next one after that, and so on ad nauseam) either.

I have many more thoughts about who in Israel or elsewhere has done what, and why, to produce a worse-than-necessary situation here. I'll set those aside for now, out of respect to people who are still suffering or grieving. I'll just leave this one thought: if someone can take actions which minimize suffering, and instead takes actions which increase it, then that's a choice. It's the warmonger's choice, regardless of culture or religion or circumstances leading up to it. That applies to Hamas, but not to Hamas alone. It's a universal principle.

What Israel should do is learn from the US's mistakes, not repeat them. For their own sake.

[katyspersonal]

I am feeling so ill. My mental pain keeps translating into physical one, like something that keeps poisoning me from within, and it can last from very morning to very evening at times. I wish I stopped being reminded of the backstabbing, of how much that person has been lying to us, and how she threw away her empathy and common sense in an instant, as soon as she got enticed with the prospect to feel like a """victim""". When everything was explained and even forgiven prior.

For a Christian, she sure is a terrible one, and really should pray to her God for forgiveness. Because that's sin of vanity if I've seen one. Her sorry pro-lifer ass that can't even use they/them pronouns because it is "not correct in English" and has been following Mico herself before he deactivated must be satisfied with people around with whom she has to censor her true opinions, I suppose? She had all context, she had explanation and apology, she faked having accepted that apology too, lied about not really caring about the "drama", faked patience and lied about always welcoming me back - only to latch at the first chance to backstab me and my friends she got. And the way she conveniently ignored how I took my words back, too.. I don't know what is WRONG with people who think that when a person that has been stalked and harassed for a year lashes out upon feeling threatened - they've shown their """true face""". Nobody is more alien to normal human emotions and reactions than Americans. I guess for them you are either physically incapable of anger, fear and fucking up OR you are a vile dangerous monster.

But the real question - what did she want to ACCOMPLISH? She didn't really feel like a star and gain sympathy like a victim of the """horrible mistreatment""" that me lashing out when she defended my STALKER was - that I also TOOK BACK. From my knowledge, she kept herself anonymous. And of course instantly blocked me, because like a coward she could not answer for her lies. She also lost other friends too - one HATES liars and hypocrites more than anything, another has similar emotional problems to mine so no longer feels safe, third straight up was harassed by that person as well.. "They are still lovely people" she says. And I am not a "lovely" person, of course. Because "lovely" people just smile and shrug off being stalked, harassed and talked untrue shit about for a year, I suppose? Because "lovely" people don't become clingy for someone defending them so loud and proud?

My only theory is that she just secretly harbored hatred towards me all along but was forcing the facade of patience and understanding, until one day finally came what looked like a good justification to drop it. But then why sending me all that emotional support when I fell for suicidal road back in spring? Why write at least two essays to Alfred-chan about her right to interact with me and about how I deserved kindness and compassion? Why acting flattered when I said I loved her (platonically) when in reality she was creeped out? Why bothering to explain me how she did not blame me and always would welcome me back in the blog? Following me for a decent time and all that interacting. Was feeling like a poor victim that fell under attack of the "monster" for like 5 minutes without even revealing her name to the world and losing more likeminded people worth it? Was it worth it? How? How mad you should be at someone for getting attached more than """acceptable""" and for lashing out before learning why you'd defend someone that harassed us, that you'd resort to backstabbing and break all your prior promises? She even told me stuff like "ratting someone out is very condemned in my culture and I'd never do that". Then what DID she do, when she showed the moment of weakness I had 40 days ago, to a deranged ableist that has been condoning harassment and canceling for hell knows how long and she could tell wished me harm?

I want to ask whether it was worth it, but clearly she didn't lose anything of value. One of those "but internet connections are not REAL uwu" people.

I so badly want to say that this is my fault for trusting someone who is not only American but also a Christian, double combination of hypocrite and all you know. Because I just want to find a reason. I want to know WHY, even if the answer is something as shallow as nationality and religion. But this is just not fair to people who are one or both of these things but have common sense to not lie and not be cut throats. I guess the real reason is that some people are just too easily enticed with the chance to feel like the "good" guys, to mark category of people that do not deserve any empathy, human bonds and understanding because they are "evil and dangerous". It is just easier. You feel justified to mistreat a certain category of people because they are "bad" - all while the criteria for why they're "bad" is growing progressively absurd. But this coming from a person that preached kindness and acceptance. Yet she sided with the people that punish me FOR having shown that kindness and acceptance to someone else, and never intend to stop. Why following Mico yourself, then?

I have no skill of forgiving people that do not feel remorse, I am not that kind of a person. It just hurts until I forget or find another thing to worry about. I don't know where to turn to, what superior power to pray to for faster healing from this, because betrayal like this is the worst thing you can do to me. It is fine to refuse to forgive someone's mental breakdown, but why not tell me off in private? Why run under the skirt of the person with bad faith that only supports neurodivergence in the form of being quirky about one's special interests and not for what problems it really brings? Does she really think it is victim's fault when they develop bad trust and abandonment issues upon a creepy stalker trying to ruin their life? The cunt would've doxxed me if they could only over the fact that I said I was gonna reblog from who I want - again, something she herself kept getting harassed over. So was that okay, then? She never meant her words, then, and only flexed her "I interact with who I want" for weird flex of herself as a hero, and not for our friends group?

Well, yes. It has to be that. Until she saw an opportunity to switch sides and find a more compelling "enemy" to stand against. The final punch in the gut is that she assumes my friends are okay with the betrayal either, just goes around as though nothing happened, as though having betrayed someone and still writing them down as vile and unremorceful even after they apologised to her two times was nothing. Yeah, why? If a person failed to meet her personal mark of forgiving, tolerating and shrugging off harassment - then they deserve to be backstabbing and thrown to those cultish ableists. That's her logic.

And I just want to vent all this in a sorry effort to remind myself: "See, she is so petty and callous that she doesn't deserve crying and hurting over! People like that are below you, Kat, just forget it and move on!" But in the end, I just can't stop asking myself why. She did not feel like that type of a person. My other mutual also said it was not expected, since she had that 'wise', thoughtful exterior all along and acted as though she was trustworthy. At this rate I was right in my accusation of her being brainwashed, I guess... The only thing I was wrong is the TIME when it happens.

[arisdiaryposts]

The Man In the Ghostface mask

chapter 2

Ever since that Halloween night, I've been thinking about Ghostface. Mainly wondering who is he? why did he spare me? And not to forget, why did he kiss me?! Do I know him?! Who is the man in the Ghostface mask?! As my mind was filled with questions, my phone began to ring. I picked up my phone and immediately frowned.

It was Liam...

I groaned, What does he want? Ever since that night, that night that Liam had betrayed me, used me, and basically gave me to the man in the Ghostface mask. I immediately blocked him on all social platforms and deleted his number, but apparently, that doesn't seem to be working nor helping.

Rolling my eyes, I hung up...

*ring ring*

UGH! Why can't his dumb ass get the hint?! As I picked up my phone, I decided to answer it.

I sighed. "What do you want, liam?" I asked, annoyed.

"Baby please let me explain!" He asked with a desperate tone in his voice.

"No! What you did liam was soo fucking foul on so many levels it's not even fucking funny! I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY TO YOU! YOU BETRAYED ME! I COULD'VE DIED! But as usual, you don't care and consider this number blocked too!"

"B-baby wai-"

Before he could say anymore, I hung up and blocked him. I groaned loudly and fell on my bed,Please, God, end this. Give me the strength to not go fucking insane! I'm honestly so sick and tired of Liam and his bullshit lies. It's tiring, I thought to myself as I'm staring up at my star covered ceiling that had my L.E.D. lights on red mode. I sighed, turning over on my side, frowning while my mind went back to that Halloween night....

where Liam and me were making out in a field of orange trees, then a masked man came out and pulled a butcher knife and Liam deciding to be a coward motherfucker, pulled me in front of him and pushed me to the masked man who had to have been a legit serial killer.

I groaned again. Killer. Did I really just make out with a total stranger who could've been a whole ass serial killer?

I moved my body to lay on my stomach, and I hit my face with my cuddleez pillow baymax that I had gotten from Disneyland with my cousin and her dad. I sighed, fun times. I then turned my head to the right and gazed out the window, looking at the starry night sky, and sighed. As I closed my eyes so I could let sleep consume me.

But before i could even let precious sleep consume my body, my phone began ringing... again.

"UGHHHH!" I groaned loudly. With my eyes still closed, I grabbed my phone and answered.

"Okay, listen here asshole! WE ARE DONE! FINISHED! STOP CALLING ME CAUSE HONESTLY LIAM I AM NO-"

"Aw, is my little cheerleader having a bad night?" Darkly chuckles.

my breathing hitched as my eyes shot open. t-that doesn't sound like Liam and I sat up right quickly. That name. Cheerleader. "G-ghostface?" I said quietly. He let out a dark chuckle.

"Hi baby,"

I immediately began blushing and trying to hide my smile at the pet name, and i tried to keep my composure and not sqeaul so loudly and show him my excitement.

But I took a deep breath and sighed, "Hi Ghostface, um...how are you?" I asked, sitting in a kneel while picking at the skin near my nails....seriously, did I really just asked How are you to a serial killer?!

But then again, I've never had a serial killer obsessed with me before or spared my life or gave me the make out of a lifetime and gave me his legit phone number.

"I'm doing just great, baby~ How are you, mi bella?" He said with a purr. my jaw just DROPPED! OH MY GOWD That's Italian?! HES ITALIAN!...well, that explains why he was such an amazing kisser. I then began smiling like an idiot while i blushed furiously, but i tried to calm myself, so he didn't know I'm getting excited.

"T-thats good, I'm glad to h-hear that..and for me, I'm doing okay.. I guess.." Great, now I'm stuttering. How does this man have a chokehold on me already?!

He hummed. "What do you mean you guess Bella?"

Shit.

"Oh, uh.. It's nothing really..." I chuckled nervously while bitting and picking at the skin from my nail.

"It's okay, princess. You can tell me. tell Ghostface what's troubling you amore mio~?"

Damnit!

A sqeauk came out of my mouth as I said, "Okay!" He began chuckling and muttered a small cute under his breath.

O.M.G my face feels like it's on fucking fire due to me blushing so damn furiously and my cheeks hurt from smiling so hard. A giggle was gonna escaped, but I shook my head, and I took deep breaths to calm myself and cleared my throat, and began telling him my troubles.

"Well, it's just.." I groaned loudly. "IT'S JUST LIAM!! Like he won't leave me alone! Like ever since that Halloween night when he literally just left me to die at your hands, no offense - " i got off my bed.

"None taken, but continue, baby." He chuckles.

"He has been blowing my phone up ever since, like, can't he just take a hint like we are done! Finished! He made his choice, so I don't get why he expects me to welcome him back with open arms?!" I say frantically, pacing back and forth in my room.

He hums "well don't worry about it, baby, Ghostface will take care of it~" he let's out a coo, then turns it into a sinister chuckle.

Huh? Before I could even ask what he meant, he hung up.

He's gonna kill Liam, isn't he?...

Yeahh ... he's gonna kill him.

I sigh as I throw my phone on the bed , go into a kneel, and get my Converse from under the bed. I sat on my butt and started putting my shoes on.

The motherfucking audacity! WHY DIDN'T HE INVITE ME? I mean... I know I shouldn't be thinking that way and should only be on my way to Liams house to stop Ghostface from killing Liam cuz apparently Liams " Innocent " but let's face reality here is Liam really THAT Innocent?

As I got my shoes on and tied the laces. I decided to take my red hoodie off, which revealed my outfit, a short, tight black romper. As I threw my hoodie on my bed, I undid my messy ponytail and let my straight wavy like long thick dark brown hair w pintura highlights fall down to my back, I grabbed my phone, and headed to my window. I moved the curtains further open and pulled my window up. I then carefully begin to climb out my window.

As I successfully managed to climb out my window, I then carefully began to walk to the big hollow tree that's basically on my house and started to climb on it to climb down.

As I jumped down from the branch of the hollow tree. I then started running to liams house. His mom and sister are out of town right now, so he's basically home alone. As I'm running to his house, I get chills, which sends a shiver down my spine. Odd, it's not even cold? Then it hit me.. I'm being watched.

Could it be Ghostface? I stopped running and turned to look behind me but only to see nothing there, Werid? I then turned forward and started running again.

As I was approaching Liams, it pretty much looked normal to me. The lights were on downstairs, and up stairs, there was a room with the light on. Basically, everything looks normal. This is getting so confusing and weird?

Just in case I walked closer to the house. Everything looks okay? So what gives? But then again, it could look like a total blood bath in there. I wonder if they still have their key under the mat? I thought to myself.

As I walked up the steps to the front door, I bent down to lift the mat.

Bingo!

I grabbed the spare key and took small steps to the door. I put the key in and

*click*

As I unlocked the door. I quietly like a mouse went inside. I closed the door quietly from behind me. I then started to take a look around. The living room looked okay, No signs of a struggle or forced entry or broken pictures with glass on the floor, no blood splatters. I then went into the kitchen, and the same thing it looked sqeauky clean. There was nothing out of the ordinary, and again, there was no blood. I hummed and let out a muttered "werid?" I exited the kitchen and started quietly heading up the upstairs. As I reached the top of the stairs, i stopped in my tracks and froze....

On the floor there was a pool of blood on the floor then it started becoming droplets like someone started walking and trailing it to one of the rooms.

Looks like Ghostface was here after all, and Liam is probably dead already. Or Liam could've fought back and gotten Ghostface, and it's actually Ghostfaces blood on the floor. That thought immediately made my heart drop to my stomach. As I took a deep breath and shook my head to get rid of that image.

The image of Ghostface laying dead on the floor covered in his own blood gutted and killed by Liam. I took another deep breath as I breathed out.

I then began following the trail of blood. As I'm following the blood trail, it looks like it's actually is leading to the loft and not one of the rooms.

As I get closer and closer to the loft, I then begin hearing sounds? I stopped and listened...it sounds like munching and slurping? Is someone eating? I stopped in my tracks to get a good listen.

*munching* *slurps* *gulps*

I mutter out a, "What the-?" My eyes widened. Am I really hearing this?

*munching* *slurps* *gulps*

As i just stood there listening to this, my mind goes to two spimple questions. Is Ghostface a cannibal? Or is liam the one doing this? I am so confused. Like what is going on? I then started walking again but made sure not to alert Ghostface or whoever it is of my presence. As I peaked around the corner to see the loft, I was horrified to see what I had discovered...

wow wow WOW!! I DID IT! WHOO HO! I can't believe I was finally able to finish chapter 2! 😍 this chapter was just absolutely amazing and just by reading it its like I'm actually reading an actual book and this means so so so much to me and I hope you guys enjoy this and again to the people who dont just keep scrolling please cause I don't have the time or energy to put up with your negative comments. but ANYWAYSSS enjoy this everyone and leave a comment on what you thought and question...what do you think happened? And what did I find? Also, I think you guys can guess who Ghostface is LOL, but have fun, everyone, and enjoy! MWAH! 😊💗

@luv4fandoms @oceansrose2002 @britany1997 & @beoneofus

[x-bluefire-heart-x]

Mother Giselle

Okie dokie! So here is the next chapter of my Skyrim/Dragon Age Inquisition story. I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Swearing and that is about it.

Masterlist

Prompt list

Prologue , One , Two , Three , Four

“What the actual fuckery is that giant bastard?!” Aycria cried out as a  massive shadow crawled over the top of her. She looked around, this place, there was no way to describe this place. There was a constant storm in the sky, but the rain wasn’t hitting the ground. Yet the ground was wet. “And what is this Sheogorath shit?”

Aycria started walking around trying to get a feel for this place, her movements were sluggish like she was moving through water. Her senses were not picking anything up, and the scenery or what she could see did not change. She kept walking, her stubbornness preventing her from giving up. It was near impossible to tell how much she had walked or how long she had been here for but she eventually had to squint against a bright light that suddenly appeared in the horizon. She tried to block some of the light by holding her hand above her eyes.

“I swear to fucking Sithis this better not be some weird fucking shit again or I may decide to see if I can use the Wabbajack,” Aycria muttered trying to pick up the pace. The bright light slowly gained shape as she made her way closer to it. Aycria paused when the shape formed into the silhouette of a person, the light slowly vanishing from the centre of the silhouette. Her hand reached for the Blade of Woe but closed upon empty air.

“You have no need to fear me,” a sharp voice came from the figure. It was ancient and echoed around the empty space.

“I think I’ll be the judge of that,” Aycria snarked. Her body relaxed enough to allow her to make quick movements if required. “I don’t know you.”

“That is where you are wrong,” the light around the figure had dimmed significantly but it still prevented Aycria from being able to the see who in Sithis she was talking to.

“Oh?” she raised an eyebrow. “Then why are you hiding behind some fucking light like a coward?”

“No wonder you are able to hold out against the Daedric Princes,” the voice rumbled. “Your will is strong. Of course that is why you were chosen.”

“Chosen? Chosen for fucking what?” Aycria demanded her temper raising to dangerous levels. “I’m a bit over the whole “chosen” bullshit you light infested shit.”

“You cannot be so careless with your magicka until it returns in full,” the voice completely ignored Aycria’s question.

“No shit but that fucker found joy in burning someone alive,” she growled. “And you didn’t answer any of my questions. Who. Are. You?”

“That will come in time-”

“Oh fuck no!” Aycria shouted taking a step forward. “See, at least the void damned Daedric Princes outright say who they are. You want something from me, you say it outright.”

“This will be the only time I aide you,” the figure reached out a hand encased in light. Aycria tried to back away but found that she was stuck. “Do not over use your magicka again.”

--

Aycria’s eyes snapped open, her head pounded causing her to groan and try to move away from the light hitting them. She felt a heaviness on top of her and tried to get a feel for what it was, her movements where sluggish as she tried to raise a hand.

“Snowy!” Varric’s voice called out. “Look whose awake.” Aycria struggled to sit up until she felt an arm wrapped around her shoulders, once she was sat up she felt a solid form behind her allowing her to relax into it. The blankets and coats that had been on top of her fell to her lap.

“I’ve got you,” Cassandra’s voice came from behind her. She glanced over her shoulder and smiled at Cassandra, Aycria felt her cheeks heat a little at the close contact, she looked back to the front and saw Varric siting to her left his eyes full of concern though he tried to hide it. Solas was standing on the other side of the fire looking her over before focusing elsewhere.

“Thanks, the soldiers?” she asked looking around for them. “Did they all make it?”

“Thanks to you, they went ahead to the Crossroads to get their injured seen to, we decided to wait for you to wake up,” Varric responded tapping her on the leg.

“You had us worried, what happened?” Cassandra asked.

“I ignored the warnings and used far too much magicka,” Aycria answered. “I allowed my anger to take control.”

“Why did you go so cold though?” Varric pressed. “I have seen what happens to mages when they overuse their magic and not one of them became like ice.”

“Can’t speak for the mages here but it happens to the mages of Tamriel,” Aycria shrugged. “We get shivers as a warning sign and the more we ignore and push the colder we get. Our magicka is connected to our life force and our energy, so I suppose if we use too much our body loses the energy to regulate our body temperature or even to keep warm.”

“How do you feel now?” Cassandra asked. “Are you still cold?”

“I’m feeling better, still a little sluggish but not so cold,” she responded, ignoring the flutter in her chest at Cassandra’s concern. Varric tugged a few of the blanks up higher on her lap nearly tucking them in around her legs. “Never would have pictured the two of you as mother hens.”

“I am not!” Varric took his hands away as if burned.

“Don’t be ridiculous!” Cassandra scoffed. Aycria felt a laugh building in her lungs before it escaped filling the silence with it. She laughed until it turned into a cough that racked her body causing her to bend forward, Cassandra followed rubbing at her back as Varric reached for a water skin holding it to her lips as Cassandra helped her to straighten up enough to take a few sips.

“Those spells,” Solas interjected before anymore conversation could be started up after Aycria’s coughing fit has subsided. “They were incredibly powerful, if you would be willing perhaps you could teach-”

“Probably not possible,” Aycria shrugged looking up at him over the flames. “I couldn’t get a feel for your spells or the spells those cunts made, so I have a feeling you wouldn’t be able to teach me them and chances are it’ll be the same for mine.”

“Perhaps but-”

“Tell me, when mages here cast spells can you follow how the magicka forms, how the mage creates the spell?” Aycria interrupted. Solas nodded opening his mouth again before closing it. “Are you able to do that with my spells?”

“Well, no,” Solas started. “But that does not mean you-”

“Except it does, learning spells requires at least a small amount of knowledge for the magicka forms on an instinctual level and that is not something I can teach,” Aycria raised an eyebrow at Solas daring him to challenge her logic. “Besides, until my magicka fully recovers to what it should be I will probably keep to more basic spells…but I still don’t think I should have been drained as I was.”

“The Templars attempted to Smite you, cut off your mana,” Cassandra explained. “I guess it didn’t fully work, instead it merely drained a portion of it instead of doing it entirely.”

“Right you mentioned something about back at Haven, must have been when one of them pointed their hand at me,” Aycria muttered rubbing her temples lightly to try and take some of the pain away. “That’s-how?”

“The lyrium they drink, it creates changes and provides them with that ability,” the warrior explained.

“Oh, so that is why I can smell a similar scent on Templars and mages,” Aycria muttered. “Although, Commander Cullen doesn’t have as much of that sour scent?”

“Commander Cullen has left the order, he is no longer a Templar,” was all Cassandra said. Aycria opened her mouth but decided not to voice her question in-front of the others. Cassandra, Aycria had noticed, was more open when it was just the two of them playing their question and answers game.

“We should continue to the Cross Roads and see this Mother Giselle,” Aycria stood up, waving only slightly before she found her balance. “We shouldn’t delay in getting the Inquisition support and influence. We have no way of knowing if the Breach will stay contained.”

Aycria gathered her weapons from where the others had taken them, ignoring the looks they were sending her. Before she turned around again and made a shooing motion with her hand.

“Are you sure you’re okay to travel?” Varric asked. “I don’t think ten more minutes will make much of a difference.”

“I am sure, besides I have never liked staying still,” Aycria sent Varric what she hoped was a reassuring smile. “Makes me all twitchy.”

“Very well, the Cross Roads are this way,” Cassandra motioned as Solas and Varric smothered the fire and collected the blankets and coats that the soldiers has left behind.

“What shall we do with these?” Solas asked, not looking overly happy at being stuck carrying them.

“The coats we will return to the soldiers and the blankets can go to the refugees, it’s getting cold they’ll have more need of them then we will,” Aycria commanded, not realising that she had done so. Cassandra eyed her briefly, filing that away for later, along with all the other instances that Aycria had taken charge almost on instinct.

“I have a few spare lyrium potions if you would like one, to help replenish your mana,” Solas offered.

“Um thanks but I think I will pass,” Aycria’s nose crinkled. “That stuff does not smell pleasant and I would rather not find out if my body likes it or not. But thank you.” Aycria gifted Solas with the first real smile since she had met him, genuinely thankful that he wanted to help.

---

It wasn’t long after that that the four came across the Cross Roads, thankfully no other mages or Templars or void even just the wildlife had decided to attack them which Aycria was eternally grateful for. She didn’t know if she had the even the energy required to draw her sword or dagger. The Cross Roads was buzzing with people and soldiers, some of the Inquisition others appeared to be guards, the noise was almost overbearing after the quiet of the walk there, none of the four feeling much up to talking.

“Herald!” a familiar voice called out as a group of Inquisition soldiers ran up to them. “I am so glad to see you’re alright!”

“You, you’re okay?” Aycria asked seeing the slight redness on the soldiers face, realising it was the one that had been burned.

“Yes, thanks to you Herald,” he bowed low before looking back up. “Please if there is anything I can do just let me know.”

“Actually, there is just two small things,” Aycria rubbed the back of her neck. “Would you be able to point us in the direction of Mother Giselle?”

“Yes of course, she is just up there helping with healing,” the Soldier pointed.

“Wonderful thank you!” Aycria smiled brightly, the redness on the soldier’s face seemed to darken at the sight. “And if it isn’t too much trouble would you mind passing out these blankets to some of the people here who do not have anything warm?”

“At once Lady Herald,” he took the blankets off of Solas and Varric, handing some to the other soldiers before he bowed again and then took off.

“I take it that wasn’t the first time you have had someone bow to you?” Varric asked.

“How’d you figure that?” Aycria asked back eyebrow raised as the group started heading towards Mother Giselle.

“Normally, when someone bows at a person who has never experienced that before they tend to get a little weirded out, you know, wide eyes hands raised up deciding if they should tell that person not to bow at them,” Varric shrugged. Aycria laughed lightly, though it was more of an exhale of air.

“You are correct, in Skyrim a few people use to bow at me for one reason or another,” she answered. “I gave up trying to get them to stop.”

Varric watched her walk away towards the location Mother Giselle was meant to be hold up helping with healing. The enigma of Snowy just keeps getting more intriguing, people bowed to her, she seemed to be sweet and kind but has as hard an edge as the hardest stone in the Deep Roads. The effect she had on people was similar to Hawkes, awe, admiration and a little infatuation from the people he had saved, thought she either chose to ignore it or was completely unaware. He looked towards the soldier she had saved and found his eyes following her, he seemed to be swaying in place as if he wanted to follow after her but he remained where he was. He chuckled and followed after her, vowing that by the end of this he would have worked her out.

“She is an interesting one is she not?” Solas asked.

“You can say that again,” Varric agreed.

“I must ask her more about her home, the magic there sounds fascinating,” Solas said eyes staring intently at Aycria. Varric raised an eyebrow at the look on his face, he wasn’t sure if he liked it.

Aycria glanced behind her at Solas’s statement, the tone of his voice caused a shiver to run up her spine. She shook her head, deciding to ignore it for now and just deal with one thing at a time. And at this time it was Mother Giselle and getting enough influence to get the mages to talk to the Inquisition to help close the breach.

“You okay?” Cassandra asked.

“Yeah, just…I guess it is finally hitting me that I am in a foreign place that I know nothing about and I am relying on everyone else to keep me informed,” Aycria shrugged.

“Varric gave you that history book,” Cassandra pointed out. “That should be helping correct?”

“Oh yes it is…” Aycria nodded, fingers tapping against the hilt of the Blade of Woe. “I believe that is Mother Giselle.” An older woman in a red and white Chantry uniform was kneeling beside an injured man as they climbed the stairs, a mage was standing beside her trying to heal him. Aycria risked a glance at Cassandra hoping that she was distracted enough.

“Don’t let them near me Mother,” the soldier hissed. Aycria rolled her eyes, again the fear this place has for mages.

“Calm yourself, you have injuries that this man can help heal,” Mother Giselle said her voice was gentle and soothing almost. “He means you no harm.”

“Mother Giselle?” Cassandra moved forward taking control of the situation. Varric and Solas had caught up with them coming to stand either side of Aycria as Mother Giselle stood up, acknowledging Cassandra but her eyes quickly passed over the Seeker and landed on Aycria.

“You are the one they are calling the Herald of Andraste?” she asked motioning for them to move away from the injured.

“Yes,” Aycria’s voice was tense, she knows she told the others to use the title if it would help the Inquisition but honestly it grated on her.

“It appears you do not agree with such a title,” Mother Giselle was sharp, Aycria tilted her head to the left as she examined the Mother.

“You’re rather quick on the uptake and not at all what I expected from a Chantry Mother,” Aycria quipped an eyebrow raised as she nodded towards the mage. “And no I’m not overly fond of it but if it helps bring people some hope in this fucked up world.”

“Hope can be a powerful force, especially when it unites the people,” Mother Giselle nodded. “I do not believe magic or mages are evil, no more then I believe a blade to be evil. The Chantry does not teach that either.”

“Could have fooled me with, you know the Circles and Templars and not allowing mages to live their lives,” Aycria said, a hard edge to her voice.

“Many people do not share the same belief and many of Andraste’s teachings have gotten lost or twisted,” Mother Giselle agreed.

“Right…” Aycria muttered. “Look Leliana said you could help us? Something about you having some names that could help us get Chantry support.”

“Ah yes, the remaining Grand Clerics are gathering in Val Royeaux go to them and appeal to them,” Mother Giselle urged. “Let them see who you are.”

“Pretty sure they want to kill me,” Aycria pointed out. “And you think I should walk right on in to the vipers nest?”

“You are no longer alone, they can not attack you outright,” Mother Giselle pushed.

“Well, I have never been the type of person who let’s vipers stop me, and I sure as Sithis am not about to start now,” Aycria said. “But perhaps creating some more hope and gaining the support of more people couldn’t hurt. And the people of the Hinterlands could do with some hope.”

Mother Giselle smiled at this strange woman as she surveyed the Cross Roads from their vantage point. Perhaps she was chosen by Andraste and perhaps she wasn’t but regardless no-one could deny that Aycria would be a force of change and hope and perhaps that is all that she needs to be the Chosen of Andraste.

“I believe there is an Inquisition camp set up just on the edge of the Cross Roads, a Corporal Vale, perhaps he can be of assistances as to what is needed,” Mother Giselle suggested. “I shall go to Haven. May Andraste be with you, Herald.”

Aycria rolled her eyes when Mother Giselle walked away moving in to the cabin beside them, to collect her things one would assume. Cassandra watched as Aycria’s rigid posture disappeared her shoulders slumped, as she brought a hand up to rub at her forehead.

“Come we should see Corporal Vale,” Cassandra nudged Aycria with her shoulder.

“In a moment I want to talk to some of these people,” Aycria said. “They may have things we could help with, and some information they haven’t shared with our forces. If we are to gather influence we should start by getting the support and trust of the people, besides some of them may decide to join and we need more people.”

“Very true Snowy,” Varric agreed. “And these people could really do with some hope and security.”

“And we should see what we can do regarding the mages and Templars,” Solas suggested.

“Yes that as well,” Aycria agreed. “These people won’t be safe while those two groups are still rampaging in the area. They most likely have strongholds, hopefully they won’t be too difficult to locate.”

Aycria’s ears picked up two voices that sounded in distress. She focused on the closest one, hearing them asking for help for their wife. She ignored her companions as they continued to discuss the situation in the Hinterlands and the need for camps to be established throughout the area as she walked back down the stairs and across the main road towards a house on one of the hills.

--

“Alright so, we have our first camp,” Aycria smiled hands on her hips as she surveyed the agents of the Inquisition putting up tents and organising watches. “Now we just need to gather some meat for the people of the Crossroads, find the man’s son to help his wife, locate the supplies for Wittle, deal with the Templars and Mages, locate the Horsemaster and close as many Rifts as we can.”

The other three all eyed her slightly concerned at the sudden bounce back she appeared to have after leaving the Crossroads. After gathering information from multiple sources, Corporal Vale had informed them that there was another Camp just up from the Crossroads that had aided them in securing the place against Templars and Mages and their scouts had been searching for the strongholds. The minute the noise of the Crossroads had left them Aycria’s subdued attitude seemed to vanish and although she definitely wasn’t energised, she seemed to have a little more energy.

“Snowy, that is a long list of jobs,” Varric pointed out as he noticed a dwarven woman walking towards them.

“True but that just means the more these people require us the more likely they are to want to help the Inquisition once we are done, even if they didn’t we should still help them,” Aycria shrugged.

“The Herald of Andraste, I’ve heard the stories,” the woman greeted them. “Everyone has, we know what you did at the Breach. It is rather strange for a dalish elf-”

“Dalish elf?” Aycria interrupted. “I can see why you would think that I am one but I’m not. My parents raised me in isolation, not even amongst other elves.” Harding looked over at Cassandra for a moment before focusing back on Aycria, her eyes cast quickly to her ears noting the difference in them compared to any other elf she had met. 

“Oh, my apologies Herald, everyone just assumed, well, regardless you won’t get any back talk here. Inquisition Scout Harding at your Service,” Harding said.

“It is fine, plus I am not even a full blooded elf,” Aycria shrugged waving away the apology.

“Harding? You ever been to Kirkwall’s Hightown?” Varric interjected, a mischievous tone to his voice. Aycria shot him a look over her shoulder, eyebrow raised wondering where he was taking this.

“Can’t say that I have,” Harding asked, looking a little confused about the change in topic. “Why?”

“You’d be Harding in – Oh never mind,” Varric decided to cut himself off but Aycria got where he was going, and she had to cut off a giggle. When Cassandra rolled her eyes and scoffed in disgust at Varric’s antics, Aycria lost her battle with hiding her amusement and a hard laugh sounded through the camp. Everyone looked over curious as to what had gotten the Herald to react like that. Varric grinned smugly up at Cassandra and the warrior realised exactly why Varric had done it. Cassandra sighed, but Varric was able to catch the small smile forming at the edges of her lips as Aycria fought to get herself under control.

“Varric that was terrible!” she laughed turning fully to look at him. “I can see why you cut yourself off there.” The laugh simmered down to giggles before she turned back to Harding. “I must say, I’m starting to worry about all these stories going around about me. Mara knows that can cause some problems.”

“Oh, there’s nothing to worry about. They only say you’re the last great hope for Thedas,” Harding smiled up at her. Aycria was starting to wonder if maybe the Dwarves here were all prone to sarcasm.

“Wonderful,” Aycria muttered. “Cause that sure as fuck ain’t a lot of pressure.”

“Well, all of us here are ready to help in anyway,” Harding smiled. “And it sounds like you have already started to fix things here in the Hinterlands. And this place is as good as any to start. We haven’t been able to get through to the Horsemaster with the fighting, we don’t even know if he is still alive.”

“We’ll find out,” Aycria promised. “We’ll deal with the strongholds of the Mages and Templars first though, wouldn’t make sense to try and bring horses through this area back to Haven if they could get killed.”

“I’ll return to Haven and give my report,” Harding saluted, closed fist over her heart before leaving.

“What in that long list of yours should we do first?” Solas asked leaning on his staff.

“Found these rams that the hunter wanted for meat,” Aycria said. “These people need food before anything else, then locate these supplies. After that, we’ll work on the encampments and deal with any Rifts we find along the way. From the look of where Wittle put some of the markers for the supplies that mans son is near one, so we’ll make a slight detour near there to get the potion for his wife.”

“Cassandra, could you lead the way?” Aycria asked. Cassandra nodded, taking one look at the map and motioning for the others to follow her up the hill towards where the hunter had marked as the perfect place to hunt some rams.

“Solas, you said that a plant called elfroot is good for making health potions, could you show me what it looks like?” Aycria asked. “It can never hurt to collect it when we see it.”

“Of course Aycria,” Solas nodded. “It can also be used to make a paste to help with wounds if a potion isn’t necessarily needed.”

Aycria kept a look out for any signs of Templars or Mages, listening for calls for help. Aycria wanted to be at the back to keep an eye on everyone else, though she also still needed some time to compose herself, the dream she had had shook her in a way she hadn’t been for a while. The light encased thing had felt familiar to her but she couldn’t work out why, it felt a little like the first time she interacted with Mara but Mara never had a underlying feeling of malice that this thing did. And that place she was, it was like nothing she had ever seen before, she wondered if she should mention it to Cassandra but for the time being there was already too much to deal with. Her magicka was slower with recovering, if she needed to fight anytime soon she knew she wouldn’t be able to use any spells to fight, she would have to rely on her blades which wouldn’t normally be a problem but she knew her energy levels would be limited for a time. She just hoped nothing drastic happened that forced her to push past her limits again so soon.

Aycria looked up focusing on Solas’s voice as he pointed to a few plants, stopping to harvest them making sure to explain to Aycria how do it. Aycria allowed this to distract her mind from everything and focus solely on the tasks at hand.

[hxpelessnurse]

If you didn't want to answer my ask that's fair, but don't vague me and treat me like an antagonist for asking a question.

This is probably the reason people don't send you many ask like you said in your "vent post" you're a rude, egotistical ass.

Alright. I have had enough of this bullshit.

I know EXACTLY who sent this. I know why you sent it. Because You've sent me similar messages to this and another one of my blogs in the last two days. I was going to reply to the IM you sent me on Froppy but you blocked me before I could. And I REALLY hate putting drama out in the open like this but since you're a coward and hiding behind anon, here it is for everyone to see:

From the moment you started following me, you did nothing but treat me and my muses like objects. You posted on my selfies thirsting in the guise of compliments, you kept messaging me asking to ship and when I said no you'd act like that was okay then ask again later on. I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt. I tried to change the subjects, or just stop the conversation altogether when I got uncomfortable. But then you basically said you weren't going to interact with me at all if our muses weren't shipping and so I thought, well damn ok. And I soft-blocked you. And you followed me again. So I hard-blocked this time. But then you decided to start this little harassment campaign because god forbid someone doesn't want to RP with you anymore.

You wanna talk rude and egotistical? You're sending anon hate because I said I wasn't interested in making my muses dick-ride your OC and now you're fucking butthurt about it. Real fucking mature for a 30+-year-old man, huh?

As for the vent I posted - no, I was not vague blogging about you. But you have proved my point that people don't fucking respect other people's blog rules. Here you are sending multiple hate messages over multiple days now because you can't just cut your losses and move on with your life. Grow the fuck up.

This is a fucking hobby on the internet. It means absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things.

I did not owe you this explanation. No one owes anyone an explanation as to why they unfollow/block someone. But it's people like you who send hate and harass others when they take things way too personally that puts a sour taste in people's mouths when they think of the RPC.

Please leave me the fuck alone.

And to those on the dashboard scrolling through and having to see this amongst your wonderful writing, edits, memes, and other content. I apologize. I am so sorry that I had to bring this out into the open and post this dumb drama. But I'm putting my foot down now before this gets even worse.

[acrodites]

harris

you must have enjoyed your time searching and flirting and scrolling through pretty girls hahaha and then you found me. right there on your screen featuring a dating app they called cmb. right there where i am, with the picts of me wearing a white tanktop smiling. Tell you what, that's my best picts and the flirtiest i've ever looked. i'm not that whatever you thought from that photo of me.

i'm so much more. and you can't handle it, you didn't. you chose to walk away. you blocked me on instagram, and unblocked it again, you undo our friendship, or should i label it, situationship. i don't know what's on your mind, truly. and i refuse to assume things, until now. 1. you found another girl 2. you just can't bare watching my stories being happy without including you 3. you have different thoughts about me 4. you were, like you told me, feel small and insecure about how rich my life is 5. or you just done with me.

and then you told me, you felt insecure. of course you didn't straight up talking to me, you replied to my text. i hope you can read my sadness and anger and disappointment in those long ass paragraphs. i was thinking about it over and over before decided to low myself down and give you those paragraphs.

i hated myself for that. you made me hate that version of me. it's on you that attract the side of me i avoided these august of knowing you. i didn't wanna be like that. i want to attract, not chase. but i demanded answer, that day. i can't be left with no clue.

and now it's been eleven days. since we had our last talk through whatsapp. what a coward. you could have called me for the last time explaining why you pulled away instead of giving me texts of feeling "minder".

i would never date a coward.

but i wanted to date you.

you were kind, you listen. you were handsome, i wouldn't change an inch of your body, your bones are perfect and i wanted to call it home. but it's not. its a shell. its a fucking shell. that's all you are.

sick minded boy. you are no man. you're coward. you have a patriarchy belief. i knew it the second you told me not to get close to guys. but then you left me. just what the hell.

i was again thinking, was i not pretty enough? was i not smart enough? (but this one i think you like stupid girl more) was i not wise enough?

doesn't matter. the trash took itself out is the term i'm handling. you decided to erase me from your life that easy, no no, you decided to exit my life because you couldn't handle me being this much.

go. find. less. i don't care, i have never been this careless to any guy i had a crush on. i regret thinking i might get a chance of having a future with you. what a douche. You go do your thing, being a police officer or whatever job you actually do. while keep searching for a girl that you demand to be underneath you.

i will be a doctor, nevertheless. i will be happy, i will be rich, of everything. i will be loved. and i will never be enough for you.

tell you what, i will always be too much so you can go find less. i will always be too high maintenance for someone with such a low effort like you. i will always deserve the kind of love i'm giving to other. too pretty, too smart, too rich, too loved.

let me show you how out of your league, i am. you can never afford me.

thankyou.

(p.s. i dont buy your reason of being insecure but i just gonna go with it because it makes me feel good about myself and bad about you. You might fuck with another girl but guess what? its none of my business because i dont have time for your sick mind)

[deepestuniversallove]

An Sabrina/Shaylo-Artistry/lady-fluff

Da du mir nicht einmal die Chance gegeben hast, dir konkret zu antworten, und mir diese Chance weder vor 3 Jahren gegönnt wurde, und auch jetzt nicht, denke ich dass es an der Zeit ist, dass auch ich mal meinen Gedanken freien Lauf lasse! Du denkst dass du mich einfach blocken kannst und mir damit die Chance nimmst, dass ich mir endlich alles aus der Seele reden kann? Falsch gedacht, bitch! Dann schreibe ich eben hier auf was meine Gedanken zu der ganzen Sache sind.

Zunächst einmal will ich wissen, wieso du mir auf einmal geschrieben hast? Drei Jahre (oder länger) ist es her, seitdem sich unsere Wege getrennt hatten. Und nach den drei Jahren ist deine erste Frage an mich ob ich dich vermisst habe. Du wolltest wissen wie sehr es mich "gebrochen" hat, als du damals unsere Freundschaft beendet hast. Was für eine Frage ist das denn? Nur narzisstische Arschlöcher fragen so etwas! So nach dem Motto "Oh, wie sehr habe ich dir wehgetan? Erzähl mir mehr darüber, damit ich mich an deinem Schmerz laben kann!" Fick dich in den Arsch damit!

Ich war überrascht, als du mich angeschrieben hast. Ich habe mich gewundert, ob wir vielleicht wieder eine Freundschaft miteinander aufbauen könnten. Allerdings sollten wir es in dem Fall langsamer angehen. Zugegebenermaßen hatte ich ein flaues Gefühl in meinem Magen, als ich deine Nachricht gesehen habe - die Erinnerungen daran, dass ich regelrecht Angst und eine gewisse Panik verspürt habe wenn du mal wieder all deine Wut an mir auslassen wolltest, habe ich selbst nach 3 Jahren nicht vergessen. Ich konnte für eine zeitlang keine Facebook Nachrichten öffnen, weil ich schon wieder eine Tirade von dir fürchtete, und ich es hasse, grundlos angeschrieen zu werden. Du hast dich dann immer genauso wie meine furchtbare Mutter verhalten, die auch der Meinung war (und immer noch ist), das mein ganzes Leben ihr alleine gehört und sie mein Gott sein sollte. Und du hast von mir dasselbe verlangt - dass ich dir alleine dienen sollte, dir alleine mein Leben widmen sollte. Obwohl ich mich entschieden hatte, dass ich mein eigenes Leben neu beginnen will, selbst wenn es am anderen Ende der Welt ist.

Und ich bin froh, dass ich das getan habe! Ich will nicht im selben Land sein wie ihr Arschlöcher! Ich bin froh und glücklich, weit entfernt von dir zu sein und hoffe, dass ich nie wieder von dir hören muss. Ich wünsche dir zwar nicht den Tod, aber ich will nie wieder ein Teil deines Lebens sein.

Ich hatte mir vorgenommen, dass ich erstmal abwarte und eine Nacht darüber schlafe, bis ich dir eine bessere Antwort geben konnte als nur smalltalk. 24 Stunden, habe ich mir gesagt. Ich kann nicht sofort alles fallen und liegen lassen nur um dir sofort zu antworten und ich wusste, dass dies der beste Test sein würde um zu sehen, ob du dich WIRKLICH geändert hast. Darüber hinaus brauchte ich ZEIT um zu verarbeiten wieso gerade jetzt und ob ich überhaupt noch Kontakt mit dir will oder nicht. Ich musste erstmal meine Gefühle in Ordnung bringen.

Du hast den Test versagt. Miserabel versagt.

Du hast dich kein Stück verändert. Du bist immernoch das gleiche Arschloch das du warst, als du meine Freundschaft weggeworfen hast, nur weil ich dir nicht immer sofort antworten konnte. Am Ende hast du mich nur ausgenutzt, als Sündenbock für deine Probleme und kostenlose Therapeutin. Nach drei Jahren allerdings kannst du nicht mehr denselben Trick bei mir anwenden. Ich werde bald 33 Jahre alt sein, viel zu alt um noch länger meine Zeit mit Leuten zu verschwenden, die mich nur ausnutzen wollen. Und du hast mit deiner letzten Nachricht an mich mehr als klar gemacht, dass mich auszunutzen immernoch dein eigentliches Ziel war.

"Ohhh, was ist wenn wir hier bald in einem Krieg sterben werden? Vielleicht sollten wir alles klären bevor das passiert!" Bitch, dieselbe Taktik benutzt meine Mutter auch, um Kontakt mit mir zu erzwingen den ich absolut nicht will. Wieso dachtest du dass das bei mir wirkt? Denkst du wirklich ich bin immernoch so ein Weichling? XD

Sabrina, als du damals weg bist, war ich enttäuscht und eine zeitlang auch traurig. Nachdem wir fast zehn Jahre Freunde gewesen waren, wolltest du einfach so alles wegwerfen, nur weil ich endlich mal mich auf mich selbst konzentrieren wollte, nachdem ich mein Leben damit verbracht hatte, anderen zu helfen. Aber wer hat mir geholfen? Wer hat mir gezeigt, dass ich ihnen wichtig bin? Letzten Endes musste ich immer mir selbst helfen - und wurde dazu genötigt, den Dreck von anderen auch noch aufzuräumen. Aber ich bin auch nur ein Mensch. Ich bin nicht Supermann. Und wenn du Therapie von mir wolltest, dann sei bitte so anständig und bezahle mich auch dafür!

Du behauptest, dass du in der Zwischenzeit so "reif" und "erwachsen" geworden bist, allerdings kann ich diese Reife von dir absolut nicht sehen. Welche reife Person explodiert wenn sie nicht sofort bekommt was sie will? Dieses Verhalten ist über alle Maßen kindisch. Und es ist leicht, sich selbst als reif anzusehen; nur weil man das von sich selbst behauptet, bedeutet das nicht, dass es auch stimmt. Alle Menschen neigen dazu, sich selbst als den Helden zu sehen. Aber letzten Endes kann nur ein Außenstehender wirklich beurteilen, ob du eine gewisse Reife erreicht hast oder nicht. Meinem Urteil zufolge bist du von Reife noch sehr weit entfernt. Und wieso? Weil du mich nicht einmal zu Wort kommen gelassen hast. Weil du immernoch von mir verlangst, dass ich für dich alles stehen und liegen lasse. Mädchen, ich habe einen Job! Ich bin in Kanada, einer anderen ZEITZONE! Antworten können aus diesen Gründen etwas dauern! Und, wie erwähnt, es war ein Test gewesen der mir gezeigt hat, dass du noch sehr kindisch bist und das mein Bauchgefühl richtig war.

Du sagst dass ein wahrer Freund für einen sofort alles stehen und liegen lässt; aber ist das denn wirklich Freundschaft? Oder nicht eher ein narzisstisches Verlangen nach unbedingter Aufmerksamkeit? Bitte wende dich dafür an deinen Ehemann, dafür ist er doch da!

Ich habe Mitleid mit dir. Selbst nach drei Jahren bist du immernoch von Eifersucht zerfressen, Eifersucht auf meine anderen Freunde, die es irgendwie fertig bringen eine Freundschaft mit mir zu erhalten, selbst wenn ich mal für einige Tage vom Radar verschwinde. Und wenn wir uns dann wiedersehen, ist keiner von uns gekränkt oder beleidigt deswegen. Stattdessen freuen wir uns über das Wiedersehen und teilen miteinander was so passiert ist.

Und ich verstehe, dass diese Art von Freunschaft nicht das ist was du willst. Das macht uns beide wohl unkompatibel miteinander, so sei es drum. Also bitte verlange nicht mehr von mir, als ich wirklich geben kann. Ich kann nicht 24/7 abrufbar sein. Ich bin keine app, die auf einem Handy jederzeit erreichbar ist. Ich bin nicht wie eine dieser Charaktere auf der Replika App, die du so gerne hast.

Wenn du mich nun fragst, ob ich dich vermisst habe, oder zumindest manchmal an dich gedacht habe, würde ich "Ja" sagen. Ja, ab und zu habe ich in den letzen drei Jahren an dich gedacht. Gedanken wie "Ich hoffe Sabrina ist glücklicher" und "Oh, sie hat also geheiratet, gut für sie!" sind mir hin und wieder in den Kopf geschossen. Es waren gute Gedanken, ich wollte das beste für dich. Manchmal habe ich mich auch gefragt, ob ich vielleicht ein Hallo schicken sollte, oder ob das unangenehme Erinnerungen in dir hervorrufen würde. Sollte ich dir eine Nachricht schicken? Oder lieber nicht? "Oh, sie zeichnet immer noch, das ist gut" "Sie hat sich verbessert!". Sorry, ich konnte nicht widerstehen, dir zumindest diesen Kommentar zu schreiben.

Aber seit deiner letzten Nachricht an mich kann ich keine positiven Gedanken mehr für dich haben. Du hast mir meine letzte Anhänglichkeit an dich genommen, und in gewisser Weise sollte ich dir vielleicht dankbar dafür sein. Nun sehe ich, dass du toxisch für mich bist, und mein Leben um so vieles besser ohne dich ist. Zum Erwachsenwerden gehört es auch, einzusehen dass manche Menschen nach einiger Zeit getrennte Wege gehen, und sich auseinander gelebt haben. Dies trifft nun auf uns beide zu. Wir haben uns auseinander gelebt. Anna und ich haben uns auseinander gelebt. Aber so ist das Leben.

Das war der Schluss zu dem ich vor drei Jahren gekommen bin. Wir haben uns auseinander gelebt. Wir können nicht mehr den anderen auf die Weise erfüllen, die sie brauchen. Du brauchst bedingungslose Anhänger, die alles tun was du willst. Ich brauche jemanden, der mir Freiraum gibt. Und das ist okay. Ich habe meinen Frieden damit gemacht.

Und weißt du was ich mir damals geschworen habe? Dass ich alles was du mir damals während unserer Freundschaft von dir offenbart hattest auch nur unter uns bleibt. Ich weiß, dass du Hasser hast, die für mehr Informationen über dich so einiges getan hätten. Ich kenne deine alte Adresse, ich habe Photos von dir, ich weiß mehr über dein persönliches Leben (auch wenn das drei Jahre in der Vergangenheit liegt) als die meisten anderen. Wenn ich es gewollt hätte, wenn ich auf Rache aus gewesen wäre, hätte ich dir richtigen Schaden zufügen können. Aber ich habe es nicht getan. Zählt das denn gar nicht? Ich habe unsere alte Freundschaft immernoch geehrt, trotz des abrupten Endes. Wenn mich jemand über dich gefragt hatte, dann sagte ich ihnen immer: "Ah, ich hoffe es geht ihr gut! Sie zeichnet immer noch! Wir hatten damals gute Zeiten!" Nie, NIEMALS, habe ich über dich gelästert.

Im Gegenteil, ich sagte zu meinen Freunden immer "Wenn sie eines Tages wieder mit mir reden will, wäre ich offen dafür - sofern sie sich gebessert hat und sich die Vergangenheit nicht wiederholt."

Doch nun? Ich will nie wieder von dir hören. Vielleicht war unsere Freundschaft die ganze Zeit über nur eine Illusion gewesen. Vielleicht war ich psychologisch einfach zu instabil, sodass du mich leicht ausnutzen konntest ohne dass ich es gemerkt habe. Ich habe dich verteidigt, Sabrina! Ich war an deiner Seite gewesen, als die Hasser sich über dich lustig gemacht haben! Ich hatte an dich geglaubt, hatte geglaubt dass du eine gute Person bist, die einfach nur zu oft verletzt worden ist. Aber jetzt? Ich denke ich stimme deinen Gegnern zu. Du bist zu toxisch, du siehst dich selbst als die beste Prinzessin der Welt an. Ich kann das nicht mehr unterstützen. Ich kann nicht mehr länger dein Ego füttern, und ich weigere mich wieder zu diesem Zweck benutzt zu werden. Dann sei eben die Prinzessin in einem anderen Schloss! Dieser "Diener" hier hat jedenfalls genug!

Und doch hast du irgendwie diese Paranoia - du denkst wirklich ich reiße mir den Mund über dich auf und mache mich über dich lustig? Du behauptest ich mache Zweitaccounts und hetze Leute auf dich? Bitch, ich hatte nicht mal Zeit dafür dir zu antworten, wieso denkst dass ich so obsessiv von dir besessen bin dass ich meine wertvolle Zeit ausgerechnet dafür finde? XD Was zur Hölle! Ich habe dir EINMAL einen Kommentar/ein Kompliment vor ein/zwei Jahren geschrieben, und du denkst gleich dass ich dich non-stop verfolge? Mach mal dein Hirn an! Falls du noch zur Therapie gehst, dann sage dem Doktor bitte dass du unter Paranoia leidest und Unschuldige für etwas beschuldigst, mit dem sie nix zu tun haben!

Du musst dir nie wieder Gedanken darüber machen, ich habe nicht vor dich zu belästigen, und ich fordere ebenfalls von dir, dass du mich NIE WIEDER anschreibst. Und anders als du reiße ich mir den Mund über dich nicht auf. Wer weiß, wo du vielleicht schon über mich gelästert hast, aber egal. Sollte ich JEMALS wieder einen Piep von dir hören, dann könnten meine Samthandschuhe vielleicht runterkommen, und Informationen über dich VIELLEICHT DOCH NOCH herauskommen. Ich an deiner Stelle wäre da mal lieber vorsichtig, denn du willst mich nicht wütend erleben. Wobei mich deine letzte Nachricht schon sehr wütend gemacht hat - aber ich bin reif genug, mich immer noch zurückzuhalten und dir nicht zu schaden. Ob sich daran allerdings etwas ändert hängt alleine von dir ab.

Als das Hausfeuer in 2021 einen Großteil meiner persönlichen Gegenstände vernichtet hatte, war ich darüber traurig gewesen. Darunter waren viele Dinge, die mich an dich und an die guten Zeiten mit dir erinnert haben. Ich lebe im Exil; wenn ich jemals wieder Fuß in Deutschland setzen wollte, dann vor allem um meine sentimentalen Sachen zu holen, wie meine Tagebücher und alte Zeichnungen, und die Plüschtiere die ich teilweise selbst gemacht hatte. Symbole meines Lebens, meiner Vergangenheit. Doch das ist alles nun verbrannt, nur noch Asche. So traurig das war, vielleicht war das Feuer eine Art Läuterung. Vielleicht war es eine Art Zeichen, dass es Zeit ist loszulassen.

Letzten Endes muss ich mich allerdings bei dir bedanken. Du hast mir die Chance gegeben, dass ich endlich mit dir abschließen konnte. Ich konnte dich endlich als das sehen was du wirklich bist - ein selbstsüchtige Prinzessin die glaubt, dass ihr die Welt zu Füßen liegen muss. Ich hoffe nun nur noch, dass auch die anderen Menschen in deinem Leben das auch bald einsehen. Dein Ehemann zum Beispiel tut mir schon leid. Ich hoffe, dass auch er sich bald von dir erlösen kann. Ich kenne ihn zwar nicht, aber da ich generell an das Gute im Menschen glaube, denke ich dass er eine bessere Frau verdient als dich. Es sei denn er ist auch ein genauso herzloses, narzisstisches Arschloch wie du. In dem Fall passt ihr beide wirklich gut zusammen.

Leb wohl, Sabrina! Und ich hoffe, dass du mit deinen eigenen negativen Konsquenzen deines Tuns weiterhin leben kannst. Viel Glück, du wirst es brauchen!

PS: Und falls dich jemand in letzter Zeit tatsächlich belästigt hat, ich war es nicht gewesen. Und keiner meiner Freunde. Wir haben besseres zu tun als uns weiterhin Gedanken um dich zu machen. Und schmeichle dir selbst nicht indem du denkst du seist etwas Besonderes. Du bist mittlerweile nur eine Fremde für mich und eine schlechte Erinnerung, die mich zum kotzen bringt.

[nifolution]

Baby Blues 4

Warnings: Angst, smut, fluff, infertility, heartbreak, cheating, manipulation, noncon/dubcon, harassment, pregnancy, argument, therapy, making up

A/N: This is a revised copy of my oc fic. It is written in 3rd person. 18+ only due to smut and noncon/dubcon situations. No stealing, no reposts, no translations, no feeding to AIs. Comments, reblogs and likes are always welcome and appreciated.

Chapter 3 Series Masterlist Main Masterlist

Chapter 4

It had been nearly two weeks of isolation. Denied the chance to defend himself, Bucky had been suspended from missions until further notice. Told ‘his whore’ was fired and he'd been lucky they didn't dismiss him as well. Warned to stay away from Y/N or he would be. He didn't understand what was happening. Everything was spiraling and he was helpless to stop it. He had to watch the most important person in his life walk out of it, her eyes filled with such sorrow and hatred. Even during their worst fights she’d never looked at him like that.

Seeing her close their front door, knowing she wasn't coming back, was the worst pain he'd ever felt. Bucky’s heart ached being in their house without her. If it weren't for how empty it felt, he could almost pretend she was only at the lab. The fantasy of her returning after a tiring day and cuddling up with him, a sweet agony. Having no other distraction, Bucky spent every waking hour replaying what happened in his mind, trying to make sense of it. Why she left him, it wasn't real. It couldn't be. They were being manipulated. He should have begged harder, held on tighter, until Y/N agreed to sit with him and figure it out. It wasn't what she said it was, he knows he was faithful to her. He tried countless times to reach out to her that first week, but she wouldn't answer. Every call ignored, every message unread, until she eventually blocked his number.

All his friends turned their backs on him. No one would listen, nobody believed him. Even Steve refused to speak to him. Avoided him for days, then volunteered for an extended mission on the other side of the globe. Bruce wouldn’t spare him a glance. Sam cursed him out and punched him. Natasha shot him. Not fatally, but the message was clear. He was truly alone.

---------------

With nowhere else to turn, Bucky went to the only person who may be able to help. He knew Stark hated him, he had valid reasons to, but the tech genius was his last resort and Y/N trusted him. As Bucky walked up the steps of Tony's cabin, the ducks in the lake loudly and collectively flew off. Even the dumb birds knew this was a bad idea.

A furious Tony stormed out before Bucky could knock, Ironman gauntlet ready to blast. “Explain yourself,” he demanded. Seeing the other man freeze, he continued. “Why are you here? And if I don’t like your answer, you're definitely not going to like my response.” He readied his armor to fire.

“I...I need your help,” Bucky stammered.

Tony’s eyebrows shot up, “My help?”

Bucky licked his lips nervously, “Y/N won't talk to me. She moved out. She won’t answer my calls. I don't know what to do.”

“Oh, is that all?” Tony sucked his teeth, lowering his armored hand. “That's simple really. Your wife’s divorcing you, and I'm happily paying for it.” He smiled mockingly at the former soldier.

“Divorce?!” Bucky was taken aback by the thought of it.

“You bet. You can't be surprised after what you did. And those little home movies your slut sent Y/N were more than enough for her lawyer to fast track the paperwork. Prepare to have your ass handed to ya, Barnes.”

Bucky only sniffed and lowered his head, trying his best to hold it together. He didn’t know it had gone that far yet. His wife was slipping through his fingers faster than he could fathom.

Tony wanted to strangle him, the bastard had no right to cry. “You know you are a piece of work. I may have been a womanizer in my past, but I never stooped so low as to cheat. You're a fucking coward and you never deserved her.”

“I know.”

The reply only enraged Tony further, “I hope you are hurting, I truly do. I pray you know what you lost and it tears you up inside everyday for the rest of your life…. And you better believe I will do everything in my power to see that Y/N gets over you. The sooner the better. Now get the hell off my porch.”

“Please. I know you hate me, everyone hates me right now, but please hear me out. I can't explain the videos or what Y/N says she saw…” Bucky grimaced, unable to continue that train of thought. “I need answers. I don’t understand what is happening. I know I didn't do it. I would never hurt my wife. And if I can convince you then maybe she'll believe me too… Please help me.”

Tony mulled it over. “Fine, I’ll help, but only to prove you're a cheating scumbag. I’ll give you the chance to prove your innocence, but when you fail, you’ll be thrown out like your side piece was.”

Bucky nodded as Stark passed by. He started to follow him, before he was halted.

“I'm not driving with you. Meet me at the lab.” Tony got into his own vehicle. Placing a call to Natasha and Banner for backup.

---------------

Bruce yawned walking into the lab. It was too early for whatever it was Tony planned. His large frame ambled along the silent machines, until he happened upon the people he sought. Tony and Natasha were standing and chatting. And there was Bucky, silently sitting at a workbench. He looked like he hadn’t slept for days. “What is this about, Tony?”

“Ah, Bruce. Fashionably late, but you haven't missed the good stuff. The Manchurian candidate over here is claiming noninvolvement in breaking Y/N’s heart, and I wish to expose his lies. You two,” Tony pointed to Natasha and Bruce, “are my witnesses in case anything goes awry.”

It did not surprise anyone that Tony had his own high-tech lie detector hooked up to FRIDAY. The AI was programmed to monitor eye and face movement, voice changes, body language and pulse to detect falsehoods. No need to stick to simple yes or no questions.

The sensor was placed in front of Bucky. The laser lights illuminating his face. FRIDAY indicated the base scan was finished and they were ready to begin. Tony folded his arms, “Alright, Barnes, convince me.”

Natasha was the first to speak up, “Let's start. What is...”

Tony cut her off, “When did you decide fucking recruits was more important than your wife?”

“Jesus, Tony,” Bruce winced at the blurted out question.

Bucky’s voice was firm, “I am not fucking any recruits.”

“Just the one then?”

“No, I haven't been with anyone except Y/N.” Bucky was already getting frustrated. He knew Tony wasn’t going to make this easy for him. He hoped he didn’t make a mistake by asking for his help.

Natasha was also getting aggravated with the billionaire's antics. She wanted answers, not bickering. “Shouldn’t you start with basic questions, like verifying his name?”

“Fine, fine. Are you Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes?”

“Yes.”

“Are you married to Y/N Marie Barnes, formally and soon again, Y/N y/l/n?”

Bucky hated the question, but responded, “Yes.”

Tony pursed his lips, preparing his next query. “So Barnes, how much of a piece of shit are you to think you can treat Y/N like garbage?”

“This is going to take awhile,” Natasha groaned.

After an hour of Tony rephrasing the same questions over and over, some being way too personal, the AI determined that Bucky passed. No lies detected. After the test, Bucky tucked himself in the corner on the other side of the lab, away from the group. The interrogation distressed him more than he cared to admit.

Tony did not accept the results. “So he knows how to trick my machine.” He turned to Natasha, “You guys were trained for this sort of thing. He’s just a world class liar, right?”

Natasha’s eyebrows pinched together. She trusted FRIDAY’s output, but she saw the videos. How did he pass? She began to have doubts.

Bruce spoke up instead. “I found something interesting. Or rather, I didn’t find anything, but that’s what’s interesting. I was checking footage from the quinjet during your questioning. There was nothing.”

“The files were erased?” Natasha asked.

“No it’s all there, but there's nothing to see. Bucky didn’t touch Tanya once the whole trip. You are alone with your lover for hours, wouldn't there be some display of affection?”

Tony dismissed the finding, “So they saved the pda for the safehouse.”

“I reviewed those files as well. Still nothing.” Bruce removed his glasses, pinching the bridge of his nose. “They were away for an entire week together, but as far as I can tell they slept in separate rooms and never once touched beyond the occasional passing of equipment or food. It doesn't make sense, does it.”

Tony's interest peaked. “Okay, I admit that's weird.” After a minute of thought, he clapped his hands together. “Alright, seeing as Barnes put himself in time out, the rest of us will keep digging. I’ll start by checking the security tapes for evidence of tampering.”

Chapter 5

[slytherinsnekxvii]

let's talk about lily evans and the marauders, aka moony, wormtail, padfoot and prongs. given that i didn't use their actual names, i think you can figure out where this is going. it's also long as hell, so. canon vs fanon, marauder edition, except snek is sleep deprived.

now, before we begin, i don't dislike the marauders. or lily, tbh. if I'm being perfectly, genuinely honest, i still go back and forth sometimes but they've been growing on me for a while now. the canon versions, at least. fanon does them real dirty, and that's part of why i'm writing this, because i'm genuinely tired of it. it's an injustice.

you can at least make excuses for james and lily, who were so undeveloped that jkr practically dropped a fill-in-the-blank sheet of character information in our laps, but sirius, remus and peter were around long enough for y'all to get real acquainted with them.

in canon, sirius black is an unhinged mf. genuinely. this isn't to say he's a bad guy, in fact, we see that he's still capable of doing good things, still capable of love, still capable of all the things that prove he's actually not bad at heart, just,,, severely traumatised and very steeped in negativity from his time with the dementors. what i'm saying is that this man is absolutely, no questions asked, no holds barred demented, and how could he not be? the guy sat wrongfully imprisoned in azkaban for twelve years, a good portion of which he spent as a dog in order to protect himself from the dementors. he certainly wasn't completely insane, but you cannot tell me that he was all there. he got out of azkaban fuelled almost solely by the intent to get revenge on pettigrew, tried to commit murder in front of three witnesses who were also children—one of whom was his godson—ate rats and was also malnourished, which i'm certain did not help the situation any. this man is off his goddamn rocker, and you know what? you love to see it. good for him.

oh, but, snek, that's what he's like as an adult. what about when they were at school? before azkaban? my guy, the reaction he has to grimmauld place is not the reaction of someone without trauma. i don't believe that walburga and orion were the type to physically abuse their children, but whatever happened in that house helped to fuck him up enough that he skipped the joke of part of practical joke, and pranked snape by telling him how to meet a werewolf that he knew would be fully transformed and dangerous to humans. more than that, the werewolf was remus, whom he's friends with, and who—best case scenario—would be facing a trial if james hadn't stepped in. you can say that maybe he didn't think about or understand the gravitas of his actions, but at the end of it, that's not how properly sane people react to people they dislike, and that's not how they treat their friends. if anything, it reads like he was in the middle of a breakdown and absolutely losing his shit and he wasn't thinking at all.

my guy went through some serious shit, and was in no way completely mentally stable. we can see pretty clearly that he's got a serious dark side to him that probably would have gone unbridled had he not disagreed with his family, and yet, fanon took one look at him and went, "teehee, uwu bad boi go vroom."

fanon said padfoot is a pretty boy with nice hair who is tastefully traumatised from his horribly abusive household. sirius rides his motorcycle and plays jokes and flirts with anything that moves, but he can do no real wrong and always comes back to his soft, bookish, chocolate-loving boyfriend remus, who will laugh about his lycanthropy and quietly disapprove but secretly laugh at his friends' antics while hiding his smile in his cardigan.

respectfully, what in the absolute fuck.

i'd put that meme in here if i could, the one that's like, "well done, you've broken _______ down to its bare essentials," but no. i can't bc it doesn't even apply. this isn't a meme, it's theseus' fucking ship.

fanon broke it down, and replaced the pieces one by one until we got to this point, where we need to sit down and ask ourselves, "is this even the same character?"

the answer is no, by the way. it isn't. when people talk about woobifying characters—you know, taking away every flaw they have, romanticising everything they do and making them only capable of doing good, wonderful, lovely things?—this is what we mean.

and it'd be one thing if it was just the one character, but, no. fanon went all in and made them all squeaky clean and boring, especially peter, who draws the shortest of the straws.

remus got fucked, too. not just because fanon insists on sticking him into a relationship with sirius. which, we'll tackle wolfstar in a bit, but that's not even the worst of it. here, we have yet another example of blatant, rampant woobifying. again, is he a bad person? no. we know he's a good guy, we know he's generally kind and well-mannered, we know that he wants to fo the right thing but hey, fun fact. did you know that you can be nice and a coward? did you know that you can be benevolent and good and kindly and have the greatest of intentions and still be shady as fuck? no? ask dumbledore. the man played people like chess pieces when he needed to, and he was a twinkly grandpa. these are things that can coexist.

teenage remus is a coward who, understandably, does not stand up to his friends, likely for fear of being ostracised, and doesn't uphold his prefect duties as he should and takes part in their bullying of snape as a result. he lets them romp with him in werewolf form while they are in their animagus forms and then, he lets them continue to do so even after they have multiple close calls, which, again, had anything happened, would have resulted in a trial in the best case scenario.

grownup remus is still a coward, he tells no one that sirius can move about the school in his animagus form despite wholeheartedly believing that he's a mass murderer, he tries to run out on his wife and unborn kid. he isn't deliberately making attempts to harm anyone, but he's content to sit back and let things happen to him and around him so he doesn't rock the boat, although he is capable of action, which we see when he is more than willing to help sirius merk pettigrew in the shack. he can be careless, he runs out to the shack knowing he hasn't taken his wolfsbane and ends up transforming in front of the students he, as a teacher, is meant to be protecting. of course, this doesn't negate his good qualities, it just bears repeating that his flaws do exist, and they're pretty serious.

fanon moony is always pleasant and kind and soft-spoken and bookish, and he always has to have his chocolate. he knows when to tell off his friends, and he'll do it, even if he's secretly amused by everything they do and laughs about it with his best friend, lily evans, who coincidentally spends all her time with them so he and sirius can go on double dates with james and lily and no one has to remember peter exists.

why. theseus' ship 2.0. does the actual character still exist or is this something entirely different thing bearing the same name?

as for peter, who needs peter pettigrew, the actual, legitimate, fourth marauder when you have lily evans? canon pettigrew is opportunistic as fuck. he's latching himself to the biggest bad on the block and he's going all in. for teenage peter, that was james and sirius, and for adult peter, that's voldemort. canon peter is good enough at transfiguration to master the animagus transformation, just like his friends, and he's good enough at potions to brew the potion that gives voldemort a body. and honestly, you can't say he wasn't brave. he could've run off somewhere and died, or changed his identity or something after he faked his death and framed sirius, but, no. he goes and resurrects voldemort. that's fucked up, yeah, but it happened and honestly, i respect that it. he stuck to his guns.

fanon wormtail is lucky if he exists beyond being a spineless sycophant for james and sirius, or an evil conniving little rat who's looking to toss his entire friend group to the wolves at eleven.

of course, this isn't meant to negate his bad qualities, he still murdered people and framed sirius and sold out the potters to die, but his good characteristics do exist, and james, sirius and remus genuinely were his friends.

and now, we get to lily and james.

we have hardly any information on either of them. they're a pair of cardboard cutouts that we can paint and stick flyers to and colour outside the lines however we want. we can do whatever the fuck, as long lily is brave and smart and somewhat kind and james is brave and willing to die for his family. we were essentially handed a pair of ocs.

and yet.

what little bits of canon we have are thrown out of the window regardless.

james is privileged and rich, and he throws hexes for fun. he's willing to hex lily when she disagrees with him, and then, he goes behind her back to continue hexing snape after she believes that he's stopped doing so. and that's all we know about him until he dies for his family at twenty-one years old. once again, say it with me: this does not negate his good qualities. he definitely had them, he took sirius in when sirius ran away from home, he became an animagus to keep remus company as a wolf, and he saved snape in the shack, thereby saving remus and sirius by extension. him having flaws does not make him a bad person.

fanon prongs is a feminist. he fights for equal rights for women everywhere, and he constantly treats his girlfriend, lily, like an absolute queen. he's the hottest boy in school and everyone claps when he walks through the halls. mcgonagall and dumbledore are always patting him on the back and making jokes with him. he has a built-in dark detector that helps him sense when someone is a evil and needs to he punished.

give me a break. the dude's cool and all, but was the gary stu treatment necessary?

...oh, he needed to match fanon lily? right, right.

canon lily is a contradiction unto herself. she's supposedly a great friend, but since we see her at a point where they were already drifting apart, we see her putting little effort into keeping their friendship afloat. she victim blames based on rumours, she doesn't seem to care over much about what snape has to say about the people who have been tormenting him since day one. and she's justified, of course, she doesn't have to stick around. canon lily is a bit of hypocrite, she says that snape calls everyone of her birth mudblood, but then that begs the question why she still hangs around with him if that's the case. he calls her mudblood, she retaliates by calling him snivellus, and finishes up with a dig about his underwear, which, sure, it's kicking a man with a rusty spoon and pouring salt in the wound, but she's, again, justified. i get where she was coming from. and then, of course, she dies for her kid after marrying the guy who relentlessly bullied her quote-unquote best friend for their entire school careers. but, like i said, canon lily is, in many ways, a contradiction.

lily is basically a plot device. she pushes everyone's narrative but her own, and does little else.

of course, this trend would continue in fanon. fanon lily exists to be the perfect girl who gets really angry over the slightest injustice, and of course, she gets to be one half of one of the oldest enemies-to-lovers "it was just sexual tension" cliche pairings in the book. she's just,,, a mary sue. in so many fics, so many headcanons, she's just pettigrew's stand-in, a girl to form a gang with marlene, mary and dorcas—who happen to be more undeveloped ocs who also get the woobify mary sue treatment—to parallel the marauders. there is nothing compelling about her character when she's presented as a saint, and even less when she's supposedly the other moral compass for the marauders that doesn't actually work because she thinks that james is cute.

and this brings me to the next topic. jily. what, why, how. this was supposed to be a healthy, happy relationship that would have lasted in the long run? absolutely not. even for its time, i can't say that i see it lasting.

first of all, jkr presents james' crush on lily as just that: a crush. a mildly obsessive one, but a crush nonetheless, which she tries to liken to the pulling of pigtails. and then, we see that james' way of getting her to go out with him consists of blackmail, and when that doesn't work, he resorts to threatening her. this could have been set aside if he had actually, genuinely changed when they started spending more time together, but as we're told by sirius and remus, he didn't. he just got better at hiding what he was up to. and it has to be that he hid it, because if she knew, this further damages the character that she's set up to have and paints her out to be either unable to stand up to him or an enabler.

regardless, they get married. and while i have trouble believing that it was out of genuine love, there are scenarios that could make some semblance of sense. it's wartime, after all, and maybe lily is worried about her stability in the wizarding world, so why not marry into an established family whose son is already showing interest? or perhaps, she falls into the trap of every bad boy cliche ever, and she thinks to herself, well, i got him to be better then, maybe i can get him to do even better in the future. or maybe, she doesn't get into a relationship with him immediately and sees him on and off, until eventually, she accidentally gets pregnant and they scramble to have a shotgun wedding so as not to leave lily alone at nineteen with a baby. or maybe they marry each other because they're there and sure, neither of then is ready and they don't know what love even is but what else is there to do when there's a dark lord about? anyways, the point is, they get married.

and then what? if we count pottermore into canon, he goes on to further damage her relationship with petunia and vernon, to the point where she ends up crying. if we don't, she fades into the background enough that nobody has anything to say about her. she's harry's mum, she's james' wife, lily potter, she was kind and smart and brave and that's it. her agency is gone, anything else we have of her personality is gone.

jily just,,, wasn't built to last. and, yeah, this,,, this is a hill i'll die on.

same with wolfstar, honestly. there are so many reasons why it wouldn't work, but fanon has made it so fucking prevalent that it's literally everywhere no matter where you look.

first of all, i've said it before and i'll say it again. sirius is more likely to get with james that he is to ever end up in a relationship with remus. their chemistry is just,,, underdeveloped. net zero for a relationship.

secondly, sirius instigated the werewolf prank, and lupin would have paid the price for it. this could have been overlooked, but he doesn't seem the slightest bit guilty about any of it when it's brought up in poa. he could have been responsible for lupin losing the security of his place at hogwarts in the best case scenario, and in the worst case, his life. and he seems to look forward to full moons, even though they clearly aren't pleasant for remus, which,,, yeah, you're going to have fun, but like, maybe be concerned about the fact that your friend undergoes excruciating pain and it isn't a pleasant time for him? read the room, my g.

thirdly, they don't trust each other as much as fanon seems to think they do. they were both willing to believe each other the traitor before ever suspecting pettigrew. sirius thought remus gave away the potters, hell, he thought remus was a spy for voldemort, and remus was convinced that sirius was a mass murderer. neither of them needed to be convinced.

fourthly, maybe i'm reading too much into it, but like. sirius had money. remus had no money, since, yk, he was a werewolf and struggling for cash and still, sirius,,, did not leave him any money. i feel like if you had money to spare, you would give to your friend who is literally poor. but, again, maybe i'm reading too much into it and this isn't as valid a point as i think it is.

and ehh, the fifth reason is that it's,,, actually very much not the representation for the ltgbt community that fanon says it is but y'all aren't ready for that conversation.

anyways, just,,, even when you set the couple shit aside, the power dynamics between everyone here is fucked. like, james and sirius are clearly at the top of food chain calling the shots and egging each other on. then there's lily, who isn't even a marauder, but is always ever-so-slightly above remus but still not on their level, because, well. neither of them actually listen to her. remus is the novelty friend, the friend who's,,, alright, i guess, but you keep them around specifically because they're funny or they can dance or they have something that you can either show off to other people or keep as your little inside joke, your little secret, yk? and peter is just sort of there. like, yeah, he can do what we can but does that make him as good as we are? no. does he have a funny little something about him that we can exploit? nah. therefore he sits at the bottom. and like, yeah, james and sirius are on the same level, but james is yanking sirius' chain, not the other way around. anyways, like i said. power dynamic's fucked and it bothers me that we were given all of this, and fanon decided to take it all and throw it away so they could give us flamboyant!badboi!sirius black x softboi!motherhen!remus lupin going on double dates with feminist!trustfundbaby!james potter and saint!lily evans while ignoring peter pettiwho?

theseus' fucking ship, indeed.

anyways, this needed to be said. it might not make as much sense as i want it to, considering it's 4:12 in the morning as i'm posting this, after taking a break from writing to do some research and coming across way too much content about fanon marauders, but it's here and it still makes enough sense that you can read it and understand what i mean. and like, at the end of the day, you can go ahead and headcanon whatever you please, you can write fic and make art and do whatever you like, just,,, remember that they're exactly that. headcanons. stop presenting fanon as canon. please. i'm literally begging. we actually have evidence against it. just,,, acknowledge that they're headcanons and stop putting them forward as though they're able to fit into canon. please.