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my tears of the kingdom experience so far
#catfishchat#totk#things really opened up for me when I realized that any time I was frustrated I could go somewhere else#edit: I do really wish I'd kept the essence of If It Sucks Hit Da Bricks#esp since my point wasn't about warping but the fact that you can leave almost any situation#you can warp you can jump you ascend you can hit da bricks#but I said warp and the pic is of him jumping so Hit Da Bricks didn't make sense#catfish post#loz
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worst way to start my new year, thanks. i have a lot of things to say about these companies but i'm tired and just keeping it focused to the pin side of things for this one. do not ever buy pins from these companies, literally ALL of them are stolen from small artists like me. if you want to buy enamel pins, check out etsy, and artist's personal websites and shops! (though even Etsy has some bootleg pins that ship straight from china, so tread carefully…)
Every pin I've designed is, thus far, EXCLUSIVE to my etsy. if you find it anywhere else, it's been ripped off! and once these stupid bootlegs pop up, it's basically a never ending game of whack-a-mole trying to get them all taken down...
#psa#art theft#pin theft#aliexpress#shein#wish#temu#deltarune#the bootleg pin is just over an inch tall. do you know how BAD this design looks at that size?? i'd know. i tested it.#they didn't even use the black nickel of the pin for the black parts of the design. and the listing says copper for some reason. what.#some people never even get their designs taken down. its really sad#so i might just have to deal with bootleg queens out there forever :( i hope nobody confuses the ripoffs for the real thing....#my pin is so much nicer! its almost two inches big and it has two posts on the back so it doesn't spin#because spinning pins are the bane of my existence#im out here working my ass off out of my bedroom in my parents place trying to make a living and here come these pricks#i watermarked all my listing photos exactly so they Couldn't steal my fucking pictures so at least there's that#my new years is just full of bad luck so far i hope this isn't a bad omen#if my registration isn't accepted by the aliexpress copyright department I'm SOL and this will just. stay up i guess#i'm sad#bootleggers kys
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crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.
i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.
in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.
i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.
i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.
plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.
the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.
we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.
i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.
a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.
today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.
loved beyond thinking.
#spilled ink#writeblr#personal#please don't ask me to talk on my experience on the spectrum lol. i hate how ppl talk to me about it#i really try not to write so specifically about it#bc inevitably someone talks to me like im a child#i think this is the first time i've ever openly identified with it but i've been hinting for years#i might delete this. feels big.#the thing is that being on the spectrum actually IS a spectrum#and if u say ur autistic#inevitably someone makes an assumption about ur needs/symptoms#please do not treat me differently than u usually would. like.... we can tell when you do#and like i mention. i do appreciate the effort. i do truly appreciate the effort.#but it still feels like...#when i was blind. sometimes people kind of did the same-ish thing.#they'd find out i was blind and start talking really loudly?#and while i KNOW they're just trying to help. it would be like. i'd be trying to find#the right way into a building (sometimes only 1 door is unlocked and i couldn't see the signs posted about where to go)#and ppl would be like ''OH UR BLIND? YES SO THIS IS A DOOR. IT OPENS INTO THE BUILDING. IT IS LOCKED NOW."#''A DOOR CAN BE FOUND IN MANY LOCATIONS.''#and it feels like. when i admit to being autistic#someone comes screeching into my life being like THIS IS A DOOR.
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Sometimes I want to bring Morrigan but then I remember I play as a face-tanking rogue and I bring Wynne. Warden Cousland, Morrigan, Wynne / Dragon Age Origins (c) Bioware
#dragon age#dragon age fan art#comic#morrigan#warden cousland#healer#bioware#dao#dragon age origins#hero of ferelden#cousland#wynne#I'm back. I guess.#I did not notice at first but apparently I took a break from tumblr. I've already had several breakdowns over the dashboard.#(turns out I was on the 'for you' tab rather than the 'following' tab. the theme had changed as well. absolutely insufferable.)#I've felt really unconnected for a while but it actually feels better now? as if my tumblr mutuals was the missing link.#very healthy and hot of me ngl#so. I had a two week holiday this year and they were instantly slurped up. it went so fast!#there was this big football thing the week before my holiday - basically teams of teens come from all around the world to play etc.#I heard a girl tell her teammates that 'I'd love to travel on this bus every morning; happy people all around you; just add some music...'#she was also very excited when the bridge opened. the 'happy people' around her sighed bitterly and leaned back for a ten minute wait.#it is thankfully over now. the bus home is no longer stuffed full of football teams. but it's a fun experience for the players etc etc etc#well. in other thrilling news I went to spy on our sister shops during my time off. to see what they do differently. maybe steal some ideas#one store was like an instagram post with fancy teacups and stylish outfits. who knew a second-hand store could be so boring.#the other was like a man-cave with furniture and a passively-aggressive note by the toys stating that 'if u break it u pay. idiot. tnx<3'.#the man-cave was my favourite :)#rant over now! take care and bye etc!
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you know what compels me about solas is he's a watcher. he knows all this shit that could totally help you out, but he lets you figure it out for yourself. keepts his mouth shut the entire time and just observes.
you're telling me this thousands-of-years old dude has NEVER been to the temple of mythal? where there are statues dedicated to him?? he has NEVER been inside a titan? no he absolutely has, and he's saying nothinggggg about it.
apart from the fact that he knows exactly what caused the breach and why, the blights, the evanuris, he also knows a bunch more shit about everything you're doing, and he's just along for the ride while you figure it all out by yourself, which he lets you do btw bc you're a smarty mc smartypants and he trusts that you're intelligent enough to do so. or not. he could probably care less (but if you constantly pleasantly surprise him, he cares).
you could argue that he's verbose, but compared to what he knows - thousands of years of knowledge - he gives us nothing. he's a fae creature. he lets us believe half truths and misdirects us constantly. he knows all this stuff, but never lets us in on it, thatttt intrigues me.
#he's the kind of person who would watch you struggle to pick a lock whilst having the key the entire time and judging your technique#bc he trusts that you will figure it out and that if you don't you don't deserve to go through the door#he's a “you can do hard things and if you can't lmao” type (when it comes to people in positions of power)#and the inquisitor is absolutely in a position of power which means no solas is not giving u the key#he has the patience of a saint bc my chatty ass could NEVER#i'd be unable to contain “um ackhilly u could do it this way sweetie/ um no ackshully dalsih tattoos were slave markings sweetie”#“UM ACKSHUILLY FEN'HAREL IS RIGHT HERE AND I'VE BEEN HUGELY MISREPRESENTED BY YOUR STUPID PEOPLE - ”#i just wanna know what he know#i need to know all of his secrets#bros i'm unwell i fear#solas posting#solas#dragon age inquisition#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#solavellan#solas dai#dragon age solas#solas dragon age
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know, know better
suo hayato; 3,591 words; fluff, fem!reader, no "y/n", banter, so much flirting, mentions of bodily harm (its wind breaker lol), first!kisses, semi-whipped!suo, suo will break the world for the one he loves likes, suo is a jackass gentleman exhibit 329048293
summary: the only difference between a garden and a graveyard is what you decide to put in the ground
a/n: yes, i know i've used that metaphor before in another fic for another fandom. no, i do not care. yes, i will continue to reuse this metaphor bc i love it.
001.
He sees you for the first time on the roof, and for a second, he wonders if he’s hallucinating because — well, no one else wears dresses at Fuurin other than Tsubaki-chan and he’s certain he just saw them downstairs, arm slung through Umemiya’s, squealing about a new line of glittery eyeshadows that just launched over the weekend.
“Ah — excuse me!”
“I know, I know — but I couldn’t just let the poor cherry tomatoes suffer like this! Go tell Ume-nii that he’s been neglecting — oh!”
By the time you look up, Suo is already bending over your shoulder to peer politely down into the garden trough, his single eye wide and bright and curious.
“Uwah… you seem really good at this!”
You lick your lips, tasting salt, feeling an unfamiliar heat creep up the back of your neck.
“Uhm… yeah — well —” your clear your throat and turn back towards the cherry tomato plants, reaching out with a gloved hand to flick one of the budding green tomatoes, “these lil guys need a lot of sunlight and Ume-nii let them in a patch of shade, so I couldn’t just leave them there, yknow?”
You smile as you get to your feet, Suo backing up politely, his hands tucked behind his back, his eye following the graceful lilt of your movements, the lithe, slenderness of your arms and legs. He can’t help the way his gaze catches on the hem of your skirt, the way it brushes the creamy skin of your leg just above your knees.
He forces himself to look away.
“You… must be one of the new first-years, right? I heard Kotoha-chan talking about you guys!”
Your voice is clear as a bell-chime, and almost as sweet, but its your eyes he can’t stop himself from coming back to. Irises purled with gold, limned by dark lashes that cast shadows against the round of your cheeks. He feels something inside him stutter as he tries to focus back on the way you’re reaching up to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear, how the other errant strands frame your face so perfectly that he has to fight down the urge to reach out and tug the slip of hair back down.
“… your name?”
“Hm?” Suo smiles before he realizes you’re waiting for him to say something, “Ah — apologies — how rude of me. Suo Hayato, it’s a pleasure.”
He dips his head in greeting as you extend a hand.
“Pleasure, huh?” you giggle as he takes your hand in his and shakes. Your skin is warm and soft, and Suo finds — for the first time in a long while — that he doesn’t really want to let go.
002.
He sees you the second time at Cafe Pothos, laughing behind the counter with Kotoha. He pauses in the doorway and lets the sound wash over him, even as you both look over at the sound of the doorbell.
“Oh! It’s you!” your smile sets his world spinning off on it’s axis and it’s all he can do to keep it from showing. Beside him, Sakura frowns.
“You know each other?”
Suo grins, stepping over the threshold to slip into one of the bar chairs.
“Yep! We met on the school roof the other day!”
“School roof — wait, I thought there weren’t any girls in Fuurin — unless —” Sakura cuts off as he whips back towards you, his eyes wide as he looks you over once, twice — before Kotoha rolls her eyes and snaps her fingers in front of his face.
“Oi! Quit ogling my friend — and no, there aren’t any girls in Fuurin, but we do have a delivery service for the VIP clients.” Kotoha winks as Sakura’s cheeks go pink. Suo props his chin on the heel of his hand and offers you a bright smile; your mirrored smile back makes his chest squeeze.
“So… how’re the cherry tomatoes doing?” you ask, reaching out to set a traditional tea service in front of Suo, your fingers light as they pluck a tiny porcelain cup from a shelf to place it on a small, bamboo tray.
“They’re getting really ripe! I’ve been checking on them like you asked…” Suo’s voice trails off as you go about the work of putting loose leaf tea in a tea bowl and warming it before pouring out the first wash of liquid.
“How… did you know I’d like this kind of tea?”
You grin, shrugging, “I just… had a feeling.”
“It’s her superpower,” Kotoha leans over with a sly smile, “she can usually guess a person’s favorite kind of food and drink within… about five minutes of getting to know them!”
“Oh stop it — it’s nothing like that! I just… had a hunch is all.” You glance up to catch Suo staring, his gaze so intense you almost fumble the teapot in your hands. It clinks against the empty cup, but before the cup has a chance to tumble off the table, Suo reaches out with a deft hand to catch it, placing it smoothly back onto the tea tray.
There’s a faint stutter in the fluidity of your movements as you blink at the cup now sitting innocently, perfectly centered, on the tray. And then you’re reaching out to fill the cup with a steaming, golden liquid, fragrant enough to fill half the room. Even Sakura leans over with a curious sniff.
“Whoa. Smells good,” he says, “smells like…”
Suo smiles, reaching down to trace a finger along the razor-thin rim of the tiny glass, “Smells like flowers.”
003.
You are young in all the ways that teenage girls can be young, and old in the all the ways that people have to be in Makochi. Your ribs hurt, your lip’s split, and there’s an ache settling over your right eye that tells you there’s probably an incredible bruise blooming into existence there.
“Ouch… damnit… I’ve really… done it this time…” you groan as you try to push yourself up off the dark alley wall. You wiggle each of your fingers in turn and say a silent prayer when you find that they all respond. Good, you think, so nothing’s broken. **
Not yet, at least.
Footsteps to your right. Light, but hurried. You squeeze your eyes shut and brace for the worst but instead — there’s only warmth, and a soft palm cupping the curve of your face.
“Hey… it’s okay — you’re alright.”
“S-Suo…kun?”
“That’s right — it’s me —” a soft, exasperated sigh, “we were looking for you afternoon —” arms wrapping around you, lifting you up. You hear the soft rustle of bags and groan as you try to reach out but a firm hand stops you.
“Don’t worry. I’ve got it.”
He doesn’t sound angry. If anything, he sounds just as measured as he usually is. But pressed up against his chest like this, you can feel the wild, racehorse hoofbeats of his heart, feel the shakiness in his every breath. His fingers are tight as he cradles you to him, carrying you from the alleyway.
“I wanted… yokan…” your voice is hoarse, and a bit ragged. Suo casts his eyes up toward the sunset sky and counts down from ten.
When he’s certain his voice won’t shake, he says —
“Eh? But the Minami tea store always sells really good yokan — why’d you… ah… you wanted to get the famous mizu yokan from across the tracks, didn’t you?” Suo sighs, gently adjusting his hold around your body, pressing you ever closer to his chest. Your breathing is shallow but even; like this, he can almost hear the faint fluttering of your heart deep inside your chest, see the soft quiver of your lashes as you shift in his arms.
“Silly girl,” he whispers, leaning down to press his lips into the seam of your hair, “next time, just tell me and I’ll go with you.”
He can sense your consciousness fading, and though the logical part of him knows that you’re in no immediate danger, he still hastens his steps, his stomach twisting inside him like a wrung-out towel, dry and aching.
“But…” he leans in; your voice is barely a whisper. He almost jumps as you reach up to trace a finger along his eyepatch, “Then it wouldn’t have been… a surprise.”
004.
“Happy Birthday!”
“Wow! Thank you!” Suo blinks for a second before his expression breaks into a bright smile. He’d had an inkling, after the “yokan-incident”, that this might’ve been the reason. But still, it twists something deep inside his gut to know that you’d gotten so hurt because of — well — something to do with him.
Even unsolicited. Even then. He detests the thought of it.
Nearly the entire first year class is there, and a good few students from the second and third years, crammed into Cafe Pothos. There’s a full traditional tea service set out on the tables, pieced together into the center of the room, and an array of tea snacks enough to make even the most ascetic eaters take pause.
“Suo-kun! C’mon, you shouldn’t keep everyone waiting, right?” Kotoha waves him towards the center table, where a multicolored display of mochis are placed in a barely legible “Happy Birthday”, each with a matching colored candle shoved into the middle.
“Sakura-kun did the mochis!” Nirei offers, pointing, seconds before Sakura smacks him upside the head.
“You don’t have’ta single it out!”
Suo takes his time, moving from person to person, chatting and laughing and thanking them in turn. There’s a softness pulsing inside him, something warm and growing, purring, curling up with a creamy, spine-deep contentment. Until he gets to you, busy wowing a group of first-year boys with your kung-fu tea skills, pouring the steaming water from higher and higher, never spilling a single drop.
“— the water can’t be too hot, or else the tea will get burnt — and that’s why sometimes —”
“Sometimes, when you make tea at home, it tastes awful and bitter, right?” Suo sits down, smiling even as he purposefully encroaches on the personal space of the freshman closest to you. To his credit, the freshman boy laughs, inching back as Suo props his chin on his palm and turns to look at them.
“A-ah… that’s really uh — cool! Wow — those shortcakes over there look really good — guys, let’s go grab some before they’re all gone!”
They scurry off, dipping their heads in your direction before ducking away.
“Mm… you’re lucky its your birthday,” you say, placing a warmed cup of tea in front of him, reaching over to slide over a glistening piece of mizu-yokan.
“Hm?” Suo takes a sip of the tea, savoring it’s depth of flavor, before taking a bite of the tea-snack.
“Otherwise, I wouldn’t be so nice to someone who’s driving off all my best customers,” you say, flashing him a knowing, indulgent smile. Suo doesn’t miss a beat.
“Your best customers?” he makes a show of pivoting towards where the clueless freshmen boys had run off to, now crowded around Sakura, laughing all too loudly, “if I didn’t know better… I’d say you need to raise your standards.”
You cock your head, hands pausing over a fresh pour of tea.
“But you do, don’t you?” you ask, resuming your movements. A second later, you place a fresh cup of tea in front of him.
“Don’t I… what?” he asks, playing at innocence.
“You should,” you parry, propping open the lid of the tiny teapot with two fingers, bending down to take a deep breath of the fragrant leaves.
The lid snaps back onto the pot with a solid click.
Suo blows at the surface of his teacup, pausing at the sound. He looks up to meet your knife-sharp gaze.
“Know — better.”
A shiver kisses up the length of his spine, and he nearly drops the fresh cup of tea. He clears his throat and takes a long sip. The heat drips down his throat, unfurling in his stomach, setting his whole body ablaze with the kind of fire that refuses to go out.
“Mm… this tea is delicious! Where’s it from?”
You shake your head, the motion just on the other side of innocent. But as you said — he knows better now.
“Somewhere… over the rainbow, I suppose.”
In a flicker, faster than a flash, he reaches out, fingers skimming along a thin line marring the perfect skin of your left cheek.
“This wasn’t there two days ago,” he says, almost casually, before his voice drops in register and his eyes go dark beneath his curtain of too-long lashes, “where’s it from?”
You make you shake off his hand but he’s too quick, catching your chin between two fingers.
“Don’t know. Must’ve been an accident.”
Suo tugs you towards him, his grip now bordering on too tight, “Ah… pretty girls like you shouldn’t make a habit of lying so much.”
You lick your lips, breath caught in your chest as you tug your face from his grasp, flicking a strand of hair over your shoulder.
“And pretty boys like you should really know better than to ask questions they don’t want to know the answers to.”
“And if I don’t?” Suo’s voice is sweet and soft and low. He sets down his empty teacup; you reach out to refill it.
“Don’t what?” you ask, feigning ignorance.
He catches your wrist, pulling up your sleeve before you can protest to reveal a series of dark bruises scattered up the length of your arm. The air around him seems to condense and cool as he stares for a second before his expression fixes itself back into one of detached sweetness.
“Know — better,” he answers, simply, letting his hand fall as you snatch your arm back, massaging the place where his fingers had been.
You narrow your eyes, but before you can say anything else, a group of boys all stumble over, singing loudly as they pull Suo back towards the center of the room, where yet another cake has materialized out of god knows where. He laughs, clapping along, blowing out the candles on instruction.
But for the rest of the night, you can’t help feeling the weight of his eyes on you, though you never again catch him staring.
005.
“They’re doing well, aren’t they?”
You jump, jerking upright even as Suo approaches you on the rooftop garden, hands laced behind his back, his earrings fluttering in the light breeze.
“Y-yeah. They really are.” You turn back to your cherry tomato plants, a few of them ripe to bursting. You reach out to pluck one off a vine, turning to offer it to the boy crouching down next to you.
He takes it from you, examining it for a second before popping into his mouth.
“Mm… sweet!”
You laugh, reaching out to tug another one off the vine. You bite into the soft flesh, feeling the explosion of flavor on your tongue.
“So much better than the ones from the supermarket, right?”
Suo sighs, nodding, but his expression sobers a second later.
“You shouldn’t have done that — just for my birthday.”
You pause, hands halfway towards another tomato. Suo reaches out to pluck it for you. As he presses it into your hand, you sigh, shaking your head.
“I didn’t do it just for you.”
“Oh?”
You roll the bright red fruit between your thumb and forefingers, holding it up to the light.
“Do you know what the difference is between a garden and a graveyard?” you ask, dropping your hand back down, your eyes trained on the plump little tomato now sitting in the palm of your hand.
“Tell me,” Suo says, watching you intently.
You turn to glance at him, a sad little smile on your lips.
“What you choose to put in the ground,” you say, before reaching out to press the cherry tomato to his lips. Suo blinks at you for a second before slowly opening his mouth to let the tomato slip through. He bites down, doesn’t reach up to wipe at the thin streak of juice slicking down his chin. He watches as your eyes flicker down, feels the pad of your thumb swipe across his skin.
He’s tugging you forward before he can stop himself; you taste the bright burst of sweet and sour on your tongue seconds before he pulls back, eyes wide. You lick your lips, expression half-shocked, half-satisfied. He opens his mouth to apologize —
“S-sorry, I should’ve asked — mmphf!”
You reach up and pull him towards you by the collar of his school uniform. It’s all he can do to catch himself against the rough ground of the rooftop garden, bits of gravel biting into his palm.
The kiss is sweet, is savory, is tentative — and then, suddenly, it bursts into something more — like a bite of over-ripe fruit, with juice sluicing down it’s seams — he surges forward, catching you around the waist. He savors in the friction of your lips against his, the teeth-aching sweetness of your warm breath as you gasp open for him, and only him. And by the gods, he tries to be a good man — a respectful man, but the tiny noise you make as he curls his fingers into the bend of your waist threatens to render all his flighty codes and morals to ash.
It is a noble pursuit, he decides later on, this of all things — to kiss you until there is no other way for you to be kissed. To kiss you just like this, until your mouth is ruined for all other tastes but the one of his tongue. He’s never thought himself a greedy man, but like this — with your body pressed to his on this rooftop garden, he thinks he might’ve learned a few more things about the depths and widths of why greed is considered such a cardinal sin.
When he finally lets you go, he’s satisfied to see there’s a dazed, unfocused haze to your eyes as you blink up at him, fingers fisted into the front of his school uniform.
“You still haven’t told me —” he leans down to press his forehead to yours, reveling in the way you gasp, the hitch in your voice as you lick your lips and he fights back a thick groan.
“Told you what?”
“Why you’d go out of the city bounds to get all those things for my birthday.”
You sigh, pursing your kiss-swollen lips.
“Because… those stores, like the earth, they… they might just need one good seed — one nice interaction —” your lashes flutter and Suo has to physically bat down the urge to lean down and kiss you again. Perhaps, he thinks, this is how dragons are made of fairy tale princes — perhaps, all the dragons ever needed was just one more kiss from their fairy tale princess.
“So… you thought to take it upon yourself to be that one nice interaction? To turn all those graveyards… into gardens?”
You crinkle your nose, glancing up at him from beneath your lashes as he pulls back to stare down at you.
“It’s a stupid thing to do, I know.”
Suo nods, “It is. But… only because you thought you could do it by yourself.”
He shifts, tugging you up into his lap as he readjusts himself to lean back against one of the taller planter boxes, his arms now comfortably looped around your middle.
“Well, if I’d told anyone… they would’ve tried to stop me.”
Suo tuts, reaching up to flick your nose with a gentle finger, “Oh ye of little faith,” he admonishes, grinning as you swat at his hand. He catches you by the wrist, pulling it in to press his lips to your palm, sighing as he nuzzles into your warmth.
“Do you really think we would’ve written off your feelings that easily? That I wouldn’t have at least tried to listen?”
You make to look away, embarrassed at your own oversight, but he tugs your chin back, forcing you to face him properly again.
“C’mon now… smart girl like you… should know better than that, shouldn’t you?”
You narrow your eyes, a feline glint alighting behind your eyes as you reach up to lace your fingers through his, leaning in with a challenge clear in your voice.
“And… if I don’t?”
Suo meets your gaze, a wide smile splitting his face as he tugs you closer, shifting your legs to settle on either side of his hips, his fingers now digging into the plush of your thighs, inching up to tease at the hemline of your skirt.
“Then I suppose… someone’ll just have to teach you better, won’t they?”
#wind breaker#wind breaker x reader#wind breaker x you#wind breaker fluff#wind breaker fanfic#wind breaker x y/n#x reader#suo hayato#hayato suo#suo hayato x reader#suo hayato x you#suo hayato fluff#suo hayato imagines#wind breaker scenarios#scheduled post#floofy floof floof#it happened. sigh#it was bound to happen. lmFAO#i have many Thoughts about Suo.#i also have thoughts about touch starved!sakura#that i will expound upon in another post/fic but yeaH yeah. yeah.#suo can do unholy things to me and i'd beg for more prob PROB.
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"ohh thorin trusts Bilbo above his own family and kin because he just loves him sooo much because I think romantic love is superior to any other form of love" or maybe it was he was experiencing a severe episode of paranoid psychosis and he implicitly trusted Bilbo because he was the only person in the Company who didn't have any preexisting, longstanding loyalities to him (as a King or brother-in-arms or Family or otherwise) and followed him purely out his own desire to and he saw Bilbo stay by his side even after his contract had ended even though he knew how much he wanted to go home (and had every reason to at that point). maybe it was because he knew Bilbo would had nothing to gain by betraying him (re: no birthright to the crown, no desire for riches or property, etc). Maybe he believed he could confide into Bilbo because he felt like he wasn't responsible for his safety in the same way he felt responsible for his nephews or his kin (as their King), and he no longer need to mantain any sort of formalities or barriers with him (because Thorin is not. his. King).
sorry I just refuse to believe Thorin doesn't love his nephews as much as he loves Bilbo (someone who he'd only known for 6~ months at that point) and I think there's a lot of better ways to explain his behavior here
#can you tell I've gotten sick of seeing people dumb down this plot point and thorin's goldsickness in general#people be normal about psychosis challenge!! (impossible)#alluding to that post I made a while back about it#this doesn't conflict with bagginshield in any way either. if anything I'd argue it adds more depth to it#all I'm saying is that it's kind of ludicrous to imply Thorin loved his nephews or cousins to a lesser degree#especially if you believe it's JUST because Thorin's love for Bilbo is romantic#pychosis is a bitch and can make you do things you'd never wish to do in a million years (speaking as a schizophrenic person)#and there's a million reasons why persecatory delusions can make you trust one person you love over another#and at least in my experience it's NEVER been just because I didn't love the other person “enough”#my post#the hobbit#thorin oakenshield#bilbo baggins#bagginshield
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"Jason just needs to see things from his family's perspective and understand how much they love him (despite them never actually communicating or showing him through their actions)" is out. "The batfamily putting a single bit of effort into understanding Jason and reconciling with him on his own terms" is in.
#my dc posting#jason todd#dc#like genuinely i am sooo tired of the first#like yes yes jason is a stupid unstable idiot who misunderstands everything and somehow comes to the most stupid#wrong conclusions ever and he just needs to see things from his family's perspective#and learn how much they loved and missed him when he was dead WHATEVERRR can you shut uppp#cus yknow how many times i've read fic of any of the batfam actually holding jason's opinion as valid or even doing silly lil small things#like 'not horribly invading his privacy' and 'actually respecting his very reasonable boundaries'? VERY rarely.#when will i get to read a fic where jason's extremely valid&understandable complaints and critiques are actually taken to heart and#anyone puts any effort into actually improving themselves and finding a middle ground#but no sorry i forgot. jason's just a fucking idiot who misreads and misunderstands everything his family does bc he's not a goddamn mind#reader who can somehow understand every miniscule twitch of batman's cape#if my dad prioritized my abuser over me i'd be very valid in concluding he might not care for me that much actually </3#i stop being sympathetic to bruce's issues the moment they're used as an excuse for him to mistreat his kids sorryyy#sorry i'm in a pissy mood rn. this isn't directed at any one specific person i'm just annoyed how common this is. it's a whole pattern.#its own genre of jason fic with no warning for it
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a little bit of an unfinished short comic about a conversation between flowey and frisk, talking about them both struggling to heal and move on from their past in a post-pacifist route.
#i was going to make a comic but i remembered im not very good with dialogue#undertale#utdr#flowey#ut#flowey undertale#floweypot au#art#my art#artists on tumblr#fanart#utdr fanart#it was going to be frisk and flowey talking about their regrets post pacifist route#just how when you've been acting and doing something bad for so long. like how hard it is to move on from#with both frisk and flowey struggling with accepting that the resets are over#i'd imagine the disorienting feeling of coming out of time loops would be hard on anyone#especially if the things you did in those time loops were not so good
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From right to left: Beya Melamed; Bulgaria, 1890 - Jewish bride after the wedding; Turkey, early 20th century - Torah ark curtain made from a woman’s dress; Izmir, Turkey, 1929 - Wedding dress belonging to a Jewish family from Edirne, Turkey; early 20th century, gifted to museum exhibition in memory of Colombe Papo
Worn in the 19th and 20th century for weddings and other occasions by women across the Balkans and Anatolia, bindallı dresses were typically made of velvet in deep jewel tones. They were decorated with extensive gold embroidery of floral designs, which give this group of dresses their name, meaning thousand branches. This Ottoman-derived yet European-influenced style marked a transitional period between uses of traditional and modern western fashions.
The dresses - adopted from the surrounding culture as a fashionable item without any Jewish specificity - took on unique Jewish meaning through their use in the synagogue, where they became ark curtains, Torah mantles and binders, bimah covers, and the like, frequently with added dedicatory inscription. The donation of dresses and trousseau items by women to the synagogues created a personal bond between the women and the synagogue. The habit of donating these textiles to the synagogue endured long after the original embroidered bedclothes and dresses had gone out of fashion, and the transitional bindallı fashion thus remained alive in Sephardi synagogues long after the passing of the brides who wore the dresses.
#jumblr#jewish#jewish history#jewish culture#sephardic history#sephardic culture#this makes me so emotional tbh - the personal bond between the woman and the synagogue; the way they're kept alive through it;#the way we make our surroundings uniquely and specifically jewishly meaningful. no matter where we are or what it is#I unfortunately couldn't find a name for the bride on the top left which is upsetting bc#I think it's important to provide names whenever you can find them with this sort of thing. I've provided all the details I can find#I'd like to do a regular post like this focusing on culture + contributions + connections + etc of jewish women#and sephardic women specifically because we need more of it#my posts
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While I do think anon was rude, I do think it's pretty shitty to set up all this stuff you were going to add the au and then just drop it. It's disappointing. Definitely unfollowing.
Bye.
#ask me#anon#once AGAIN.#I am not dropping anything#the au is not getting cancelled. more than likely i'm gonna take a break from it until i find motivation again#But I've been drawing the AU for half a fucking year#In that time I've only drawn 5 things that aren't mlp related#I'm getting tired and my last few posts didn't do as well as I'd hoped#And I'm not about to burn myself out on mlp au art even if I really do love making it#I'm still gonna make comics. I have a bunch of ideas.#Tulli and I still wanna do the limited run merch shop#Discord is still coming. Sunset is still coming. Sombra is still coming. I have so many ideas#But I need to do something else for my own sake. Did you know I was supposed to get the background 6 designs done by now#But I didn't because I'm TIRED#I've been keeping myself on a schedule to keep content pumping despite travel and school and family and I'm tired#what i'm getting isn't matching what i'm giving and that's nobody's fault. i'm not frustrated at anyone. a slump was bound to happen#drawing the au was fun until it become my Thing. Because when your Thing––your identity––starts to faulter#it can really make you freak out#And that's not healthy for the project or for myself. I need to find the fun again and I'm sure I will#I'm really appreciative of everyone's support in my inbox and replies it really does mean a lot especially given that about 2/3 of my#followers followed for mlp. But if you're gonna react to me saying “i'm gonna cool down on mlp art and draw my own stuff” with “i'm#disappointed in you." then Leave! I think it's good you're unfollowing#you are not obligated to stick by my side! But don't act like I'm doing you a disservice by turning my attention elsewhere#I didn't promise anyone anything and I definitely didn't say I'm breaking any promises.
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so i had a thought.
what if 236 is actually jujutsu tech propaganda?
mei mei is broadcasting this entire thing, right? what better way to protect gojo from bounty hunters etc., than convince the entire world that he's already dead?
the final battle happened offscreen, with significantly less fanfare. gojo rescued megumi, defeated sukuna. the day was saved.
at a cost.
gojo gave up everything - at least, everything he valued. the six eyes, his abilities as a sorcerer. he assumed that would make him a normal man, and he was right -
what he didn't realize was that it would also make him blind.
so now... you live in a nice apartment complex. a guy moves in next to you.
you can't help but notice he happens to be blind - at least, he's wearing a blindfold, uses a cane, but he's often swearing and stumbling through his porch, over his entryway. he is very, very blind.
you, wondering what the fuck up is with your obviously blind neighbor who seems to have no sense of self-preservation.
he walks into objects all the time, especially hitting his head on things, since he's so tall. forgets his cane when going out. the dude just left his door open the other day, like, WIDE OPEN, who DOES that?
helping gojo learn, not only how to be human, but how to be disabled. how to not be disgusted with being disabled.
gojo learning that being blind isn't the end of his life, nor the end of his happiness - life is still worth living, even without one of his senses.
helping gojo mourn his lost sense while still finding things to enjoy. gojo who learns to cook by taste, by feeling heat or texture, with your help. gojo learning to organize things so he always knows where they are from memory.
bringing gojo audiobook versions of your favorite stories even if he teases you for your taste. he listens to them when he has nothing to do, which is most of the time, now.
he goes out on walks all the time because he doesn't have a job, you learn. while it's nice to not have to work, you can tell he comes from money, his life comes with a gaping hole inside it, one that isn't entirely explained by the blindness.
gojo who's overstimulated all the time because he no longer has infinity as a barrier, but somehow also as touch-starved as ever, alone in a foreign country away from all his students and colleagues.
gojo, who has only ever done Big Things with his life, who has only ever been an Important Person doing world changing things, now, just an ordinary guy.
he barely cares what happens to himself now. it's not that he wants to die, or anything. it's just that he doesn't have a reason to live.
and that wouldn't change overnight. not with cooking lessons or audiobooks or friendly greetings whenever you see him by the door. not with smiles or waves (he can't see them) or a braille rubik's cube you find online (how did he solve it in under a minute??) or karaoke (he has an AMAZING singing voice, and he knows so many songs better than you do?).
it wouldn't change overnight, because nothing worthwhile forms in a day, or two, or even a week or a month.
but gojo's life doesn't have to be amazing a day after he's gone blind. or a week. or a month. it's okay if it's difficult, he learns, it's okay if he hates it, hates himself, hates every choice that brought him here, even if he would never take it back.
it's okay. it gets better. with you there? it's getting better.
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#fluff#elsey rambles#god i just LOVE the post-sukuna-fight gojo fics man#i love satoru being brought down to normal. learning to struggle like regular people do#and realizing! it is actually not so bad! it's okay actually! life is fine when you can't hollow purple or forcefield protect yourself!#gojo has spent so much of his life looking at the Big Picture. he can enjoy some little things. as a treat#a testament for my love for that man that i'd eat up a fic of him with 0 sorcery or fun fantasy elements in it#his personality is good enough for me. the awfulness of it is the charm!#there should have been sooo much more angst to his character#oh wait those tags too#angst#hurt/comfort#god hurt/comfort is my CRACK
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I'm thinking about how I've always been told, "Reptiles are incapable of love. They only use you for your body heat." But then I see my girls do this with each other- and they're both cold blooded.
When I let them play together, they are almost always together either cuddling or following each other around. Sakura does most of the following and seeks out here sibling if she's scared, but has also been very brave when she thought her sister needed protecting. If this is not love, what is it? And yes, Scoria is very loving with me too- but I find it hard to believe she only wants my body heat when she cuddles her sibling who doesn't have any.
If not love, it at the very least is more than seeking out body heat since that variable is removed between her sister and myself and she seeks both of us for cuddles and comfort. Her little sister will race to her sister and hide under her when she's scared, and Scoria has gone out of her way to comfort her sister at no other benefit to herself. I'm hoping to get similar actions on video as they regularly do these things with each other but it's hard to predict to have my camera filming.
I think sometimes Sakura likes together time a little more than Scoria, hahaha.
"Sister please, the door is only so big."
'I'm with you! ❤️ I do what you do! 🩷'
-Tolerates baby sister's shenanigans-
Anyway, the next time someone tells you your snake doesn't care about you and is only trying to steal your body heat, remember these girls who adore each other and have no body heat to steal.
#snake#snakes#hognose#pets#cute#Honestly I think it says more about the person who says snakes can't love#They haven't experienced it#and snakes take more time and trust building than dogs#snakes understand consent too#if you do things without their consent they remember and will have more reasons to dislike you than like you#Just because someone has worked with snakes over 20 years and never seen affection doesn't mean it doesn't exist#any more than someone who has worked with flour for over 20 years and never seen a cake thinks they're a myth#“Well if it were possible I'd have seen at least one by now.”#Not if you just kept it in bags the whole time#Takes more than keeping#But the stories I've heard#I know other keepers have felt the love too#edit because something was happening with mobile earlier that prevented me from posting properly#Had to get on a PC
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oh, to be an absolute ten while a repressed belligerent asshole administers to you the kiss of life
#the radiant emperor#she who became the sun#he who drowned the world#xu da#general ouyang#my art#you THOUGHT. you thought. that xuyang would be safe from me well it's NOT#it's not and gang it's probably gonna get worse than this#anyway this is the second render i did for this and i flip flopped a LOT over whether I'd post both#but at the end of the day this one? just looks better#also I'm gonna start putting ids on things bc not doing so is irresponsible and dumb and there's literally NO reason not to do it#click for better quality bc god did tumblr make this look like I drew it across three pixels :))))
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Friend: What are you doing right now?
Me: I have a lot of projects.
Friend: Oh so cool, what are those? New job, new business, new home, new relationship?
Me: Ok, I have a lot of SPN/Destiel projects.
#when I tell my friends that I have a lot of things to do#and not enough time to progress as I'd wish#I'm talking about time to do all the spn or destiel projects I want to do#like finishing to publish my first destiel au fic#work on my two other long wip#write the other hundreds of destiel fic ideas I have#draw more#I'd love to draw art that goes with the fics I already posted on AO3 just to set the mood#rewatch the whole show and write meta#read hundreds of fics#watch the cockles panels I'm late for#maybe I forgot some#too many things to do and so little time#I also have to find a new home so yeah here you go#I also have projects that don't involve spn or destiel#but it's a pain in the ass#destiel#deancas#dean winchester#castiel#my destiel fanfic#destiel fanart#spn rewatch#cockles#jenmish#destiel fanfiction#destiel fanfic#destiel fic
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It's mostly the fault of poor editorial practices that B&R is so heavily misaligned continuity-wise w/ the main batman book. But walk with me for a minute:
You are Damian Wayne. You are 14 years old and have had one of the worst years of your life last year. Which is saying a lot.
Your brother, one of the people you were closest to, got shot in the head and forgot who you were. Your best friend went to space for a week and came back 3/4 years older than you, taking away your previously established dynamic and leaving you to have to bond all over again w/ a new one. You may or may not have gone wayyy too far with your new superhero team, who now all hate you, because you fucked up big time*
And worst of all, when you do try to do the right thing, you end up forced to watch Alfred, a father figure to you, the only one at your birthday that year, the person who has been so patient, loving and trusting with you, even when you probably didnt deserve it...die. you watch him die, and feel it's all your fault.
And your dad never corrects you on that last point. So you run away.
First to your mom who can tell something's up with you, she knows you don't give up that easy, you decide not to stay with her because you remembered how actually, neither of your parents are good at communicating with you despite their best efforts, so now you're 14 and flying solo.
And you do fly solo. For a while. Make new friends, new enemies. You think you're better off for it. You've got your best friend and your brother back. They're not around as much. It's fine.
And eventually your dad tells you that it's not your fault that Alfred died. Bit late but it's appreciated. Really. There's a bit of a hiccup where you get possessed by a demon and wage war against your father but after that, all in all, you two are...together again.
You start to think maybe you want to give him another chance, for the two of you to be father and son.
And in a change of pace, it works out! It's going good, mostly. He insists you go to highschool, you resist, feel like he wants you to be something that you're not (wants you to be normal), but eventually you acquiesce for your own reasons. He cheers you on at soccer and nosies around at your fundraising events with the other parents and gives you a stern talking to about your choice of girlfriend. Because he cares.
Except all the while this is going on, your dad is currently having his brain slowly taken over by an evil version of himself that he created and every time you look away he's slowly tearing your family apart (your brothers are just barely keeping it together. The ones who didn't get lobotmized that is Jesus Christ). You keep taking his side in these conflicts, for whatever reason. Maybe because he promised it would be different this time, and it isn't** and you're going to stick with him until he keeps his word for once.
But at the end of the day?
It's like your brother says. You're not the one who saves him. Broadly speaking, you've made things worse and needed others to come save you. And what else is Robin really for? You thought it was about redemption and teamwork but guess you're wrong. It's about saving your self destructive, apparently two-faced and erratic father. And you can't even do that right.
* TT (2016) by Adam Glass is a racist ooc mess, but unfortunately it's still canon so I'm referencing here, though like a lot of works authors clearly wish weren't canon but are, it's been subsequently glossed over. Win? Maybe? Or not?
** again Zdarky's characterization of Damian is so outdated as to be ooc, and considering the way he constantly and explicitly uses it to illustrate Tim's strengths as robin, I'd argue there's. Also implications there. But the batshit insanity of the main batbook compared to B&R rn is crucial for this post, so I'm attempting to justify it. This time..
#ramblings of a lunatic#dc comics#damian wayne#batman and robin#i know i already made an animatic of steph to tears over beers by modern baseball (you know the bit)#but this post has made me think of damian in this context. weeps#idk i read batman 138 for myself and the ways Zdarsky structures it to portray damian as inferior is just. AUGHH IT MAKES ME SICK#LEAVE MY BOY ALONE#the fact that josh williamson (not a perfect writer but i generally enjoy his stuff) had to single handedly save damian-#-after didio left the company and make him robin/a hero again#ONLY FOR THIS STILL TO BE HAPPENING THE MOMENT DAMIAN IS IN A NON JOSH WILLIAMSON BOOK#SICKENING#anyways. imagine if these titles connected and created a greater narrative besides building to event books. would be crazy huh?#that's not fair B&R is enjoyable in its own right and I'd rather have the main batman book touching less things to be frank#but still#if they ever do the theoretical tim/damian robins miniseries that lives in my brain maybe this could be discussed in some way#anyway <3
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