#that *did* somewhat do this kind of thing
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[ID in ALT] I've made posts before about Talia/Dick co-parenting Damian moments (will never happen but let me dream) and this came to me in a vision. Took me ages to finish for some reason 😭 and then even longer to post
#dc comics#dc#damian wayne#dick grayson#talia al ghul#batfamily#dc robin#nightwing#anyway. yes im a self-indulgent ''dick as damians secret third parent'' truther#like i DO think it's way more complex and nuanced than the schmoopy affectionate fan portrayal of it#they're brothers they're father and son they're partners they're the dynamic duo except only in past tense etc etc#but consider! I'm not immune to schmoopy affection in fanworks. it compells me despite itself#anyway it's technically not that crazy when it comes to dick and damian. they hug! often! at least they did#it's not as big a leap to these types of scenarios#also talia ''somewhat absent for complex reasons on both her and damians part but very loving and loved by her son'' al ghul#you will always be famous to me#son of the demon origin...bwahhh#anyway. someone made a comic kind of like this/like a post i made abt this topic#but way funnier bc dick and talia starting trying to beat each other up#so go look at that as well#anyway. it's been a somewhat difficult few weeks so I'm. desperately trying to take it easy#i got some reading with me (first vol of kevin smiths GA run that i found second hand and jaimes BB run vol 2!)#so we'll see how far i get through those. considering there's demons in my head telling me to re-read things (LET ME OUT!!!)#when i finish GA and BB i do plan on rereading robin 2021. as a treat to myself#it's a run I've really warmed up to as time went on#I'm keeping up w/ the current b&r run even though it is. admittedly very slow w/ some weird dialogue#i read it for the damian content more than anything. also nikas back so that's neat :]#idk I have a feeling that after absolute power shakes out we might get some more creative team switch ups#so if anyone at dc is interested in taking over the reigns on b&r...that could be very neat#mine
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GRAHH REDRAW JUMPSCARE
@/marsipain's cyberpunk ninjago au!!! im sure we all know it okay time to yap if any morro enjoyers remember alll the way back in january 2023 i did something for this au and i think around a couple months ago i was like yk what ill do it again. cause the one back then really was not the vision like i tried my best but i just did not have the skill
LOOK AT THIS??? i did end up ditching the mic but i kept the stickers at least. not sure how i feel about them but they were too iconic to scrap. also the perspective kind of wasnt working out for me i didnt really get the fisheye look i was aiming for but we ball. i actually started the whole thing end of AUGUST and then i completely revamped it look at what i had before
its a vibe lowkey i like it but unfortunately it was again. not the vision wasn’t dramatic enough. i redid it last sunday and worked on it nonstop for days what was i on
PROCESS
#obligatory morro enjoyers do you rember. im back happy morrotober#what a year and 9 months does to a mf#hii marsipain how are you doing#your designs are still banger even after all this time#almost 2 whole years#im scared to tag if they see it they see it#this is a for me kind of thing anyways i just wanted to redraw and see how it would look#WE ACHIEVED THE VISION 🗣🗣 SOMEWHAT#didnt really know what to do with the background#at first i was gonna have the giant morro sort of like a projector light and it was gonna shine on top of his face#but then i couldn’t figure it out so i scrapped it#also the way i did his collar slash sleeves i realized too late his sleeves would have to be like detachable but whatever#o i just found it i spent 17 hours on this what#it felt a lot less than that#i just watched the timelapse my first couple tries are actually embarrassing#don’t let the first second and third draft discourage you guys#ninjago#lego ninjago#morro ninjago#ninjago morro#morro wu#ninjago cyberpunk au#jellos scribbles#yyippee
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So you're a go to source for all things Dick&Tim bros and you tend to write primarily from Dick's POV. So, odd question, but if you were to summarize their relationship from his POV in FIVE panels which panels would you pick? Keeping in mind that one specific aspect of their relationship that you love needs to be clearly represented by each panel (loyalty, trust etc). I hope this is a fun challenge and not an annoying question so if you don't want to answer that's cool! Have a wonderful day!
No more talk. The same thoughts run through two minds... (SotB 29) / You're my equal. My closest ally. (RR 1) / I can't stop thinking how much I rely on him. (GoG 3)
25 Feelings Dick Has About Tim
This was such a kind ask & a cool challenge which I totally failed; here are TWENTY-five panels of Dick's POV on Tim sdfdsfds Look, I got carried away! Marcia and Cindy! The boys!!
OKAY SO BEFORE I GET TO THE PANELS A FEW NOTES:
WARNING THAT THERE ARE SOME NEGATIVE EMOTIONS IN HERE because I love conflict but but but you gotta remember those are not the final word!! They are complicated people and sometimes they get mad at each other BUT ultimately their relationship is so hugely important in both their lives & they love each other and rely on each other so much -!!! <3
Also I have CONCLUDING THOUGHTS at the end about what Dick's POV leaves out (mostly: a lot of Dick defending & protecting & supporting Tim, which Dick does instinctively but isn't very self-aware about most of the time)
I have loosely organized my list into 5^5 format (5 categories with 5 examples each!), so if you want to skip to a relevant one, here are the categories!!
Below the cut:
I hate him and find him infuriating (#1-5)
On second thought, he's endearing & fun (#6-10)
Grief is complicated & he's all tangled up in mine (#11-15)
I love him & think highly of him (#16-20)
I rely on him & though it's hard for me, I trust him (#21-25)
I hate him and find him infuriating (#1 - 5)
1) He thinks he’s so smart and can psychoanalyze me and Bruce, but he doesn’t know me at all, he should get lost (New Titans 61)
2) He thinks he’s so smart and can psychoanalyze Bruce but he doesn’t know Bruce at all, he should get lost (Gotham Knights 26)
3) He is so nosy about stuff that is MY business (Robin 0)
4) He sounds like an insincere suck-up half the time... but okay, fine, if you push him he's got a sense of humor about it (New Titans 65)
5) I'm sure he's a better vigilante than me. It's my fault for being a failure, but I resent him anyway. (Nightwing 9 - Dick's having a nightmare)
On second thought, he's kinda endearing (#6-10)
6) He worries too much and gets anxious so easily, but it makes him fun to tease (Robin 67)
7) I'm not that competitive - okay, so maybe I'm a little competitive, I gotta make sure he doesn't get a swelled head (Prodigal)
8) I'm supposed to be his favorite! It is not cool for him to be fanboying over my not-girlfriend's not-boyfriend!! (Birds of Prey 19)
9) We have fun together. I can kick back and relax when it's just the two of us. Plus I get to boss him around a bit. (Prodigal)
10) He’s always trying to reassure me, and I guess it's a little comforting, but also he doesn’t really get it. Or me. He makes excuses that he shouldn't, because he doesn't understand that I suck. (Nightwing 64)
Grief is complicated and he's all tangled up in mine (#11 - 15)
11) He reminds me of everything I try not to think about. Sometimes the memories are so strong it hurts to look at him. (Batman 441)
12) WHY IS HE BEING IMPOSSIBLE ALL OF A SUDDEN??? THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING (Nightwing 139)
13) We're the same. He says all the things I don't let myself think about. It's like arguing with myself. (Nightwing 139)
14) He thinks he gets to tell me what to do but he doesn’t, fuck him (Battle for the Cowl)
15) Life sucks, so what. I sucked it up so he should too (RR 1)
I love him and think highly of him (#16 - 20)
16) He’s the closest thing to a brother I’ll ever have. If someone hurts him I will hurt them harder. (Nightwing 6)
17) I can't handle the idea of losing him. (Nightwing 97)
17) He’s so good and I’m not. I'm afraid I’m bad for him. (Nightwing 110)
18) He’s better than me, and it’s kind of a relief because I know no matter what he’ll be okay. (Gates of Gotham 3)
19) In my head he’s the responsible one. (Gotham Knights 10)
I rely on him, and though it's hard for me, I trust him (#20-25)
20) I know I have to trust him but I'm afraid he'll make the wrong choices and get hurt (Nightwing 139)
21) I'm sure I know what he should do because I see myself in him - not that I can take my own advice, but he should (Blackest Night 3)
22) I trust him. When I’m losing my grip on things, he pulls me back. (Gotham Knights 10)
23) I want him to trust me (Red Robin 12)
24) He can tell when I'm lying. Sometimes he sees my weaknesses better than I wish he did. (Detective Comics 874)
25) He’s always there when I need him. (Teen Titans / Outsiders Secret Files)
Final rambling thoughts:
TIM: Uhh, okay, so I'm just skimming this list - do you really trust me? you're not just saying that? - but anyway, I'm confused because you left some stuff out? Like some stuff that's kinda important? DICK: No? I think I got everything? TIM (starts counting on his fingers): The time I was having a bad day but then I called you. The time I got captured by Two-Face but then you saved me. The time I fell off a train but then you saved me. The time I fell off a building but then you saved me. The time I fell off a different building - DICK: I feel like you're trying to make some kind of point but I'm not sure what it could be.
SO THE THING IS, I put 25 panels in here and not a single one has Dick catching Tim when he’s falling!!! But I think that's a central motif of their relationship from Tim’s POV, not Dick’s. I love Dick, but in some ways I think he is spectacularly un-self-aware.
And I think he especially has a lot of blind spots about Tim. He kinda intermittently gets that Tim admires him, and he enjoys it in a playful I-get-to-boss-you-around way. But Dick tends to consistently underestimate all of his own good qualities & skills, and he meets Tim at a point in his life when he's especially down on himself & his abilities. And so he's unable to see his own influence on Tim, & therefore unable to fully understand a lot of Tim's priorities and loyalties and motivations, because you can't actually understand Tim without understanding Dick's impact on him. There's a fascinating moment in Bruce Wayne: Murderer when Dick's completely blindsided & upset to discover that Tim doesn't entirely trust Bruce, even though this has been a definitive fact of Tim's whole thing ever since he showed up with his Batman needs Robin theory, and Barbara has to actively remind Dick of the obvious-to-everyone-except-Dick fact that a lot of Tim's loyalty is to Dick, and Tim loves Bruce but feels free to be more wary of him. (And to give Bruce credit: this is not something he ever begrudges.) But anyway Babs points this out, and Dick manages to sorta process it for about five seconds, but he cannot actually accept it into his worldview so instead he discards it at the speed of light and goes off and has an argument with Tim instead sdfsfdsf
All of Dick's virtues - Dick's kindness at the circus and Dick's determination to fight through grief and Dick's rigid sense of morals and Dick's vigilante skills and every time Dick has ever backed Tim up or listened to him or protected him or saved him from something or just been casually kind to a stranger in Tim's presence etc etc etc - all these things loom really large in Tim's mental story of Who Dick Is, and What Dick And Tim's Relationship Is. Tim meets Dick before he meets Bruce, trusts Dick more than Bruce, aspires to be Robin instead of Batman. And so in Tim's default version of the story, Dick is the super-special and admirable hero and Tim is... nobody in particular, a tagalong outsider who's barely managing to be a hero, not part of Dick and Bruce's family and not part of their story, who, if he's VERY LUCKY and tries REALLY HARD, might be able to fight his way to proving himself and offering something to Dick that Dick will value, if Dick doesn't get fed up with him first.
But that's not Dick's version of the story!!!
Dick's version of the story is almost the exact opposite, a story where Dick's an outcast failure black sheep who's screwing up everything he tries, and meanwhile Tim is The Sudden New Perfect Robin Who's Better Than Me And Probably Bruce Loves Him More And Probably They Gossip About What A Loser I Am, mixed with a complicated edge of Tim Thinks He's So Smart But He Doesn't Know Me/Us At All. Dick gets much more attached to Tim over time, and Tim gets unnervingly better at the know-it-all psychoanalysis so then Dick gets to have complicated feelings about him being right instead of just annoyance at him for being wrong, plus Dick's relationship with Bruce improves a lot, so Tim stops feeling so threatening. But Dick never fundamentally changes his basic theory of their relationship in which Tim is highly impressive and capable, and Dick is not so much.
And so asking Dick about Tim is kinda like if you asked George Bailey to tell you about Harry Bailey in It's A Wonderful Life; like, you'll be there for five hours while he tells you how great Harry is, and how accomplished Harry is, and how he doesn't really get how or why Harry does the things he does, and maybe George does feel a little resentful or jealous sometimes, but that pales in comparison to all his admiration and trust for Harry who he loves so much, who's better than him in so many ways, and he's not gonna openly gripe but secretly he can't help but feel sometimes like he's such a failure in comparison to Harry, a perfect person who emerged fully formed from Zeus's head with all the virtues and also all the accomplishments, etc. etc. etc. --
-- and he will not actually remember the part where he changed and saved Harry's whole entire life unless you literally send him to an alternate timeline in order to force him to remember it. <3
#i enjoyed thinking about this so much i wrote a novel with All My Thoughts sorry sdfsdfs#tim drake#dick grayson#somewhat tangential but as i was writing this i was thinking about zahri's post#about how different types of stories offer different kinds of emotional payoffs#and i think for me for dick and tim the main two payoffs are:#1) someone who sees & understands your grief for deaths that will never get fixed or get better#and who will face your ghosts with you EVEN WHEN you're also mad at each other#2) someone who you look at and you see all the ways that you suck & he's better & you're a loser who's failed him etc etc#but it turns out that you're wrong. that you're good enough. not that none of the failures were real or that they were all in your head#but it turns out that it's okay that you didn't always immediately do or feel the right thing#and it's okay that you weren't perfect. you can fuck up six thousand ways & everything you did right will still matter#not because of making excuses or allowances or somebody pityingly trying to make you feel better#but because in the end the things you did right are just Genuinely More Valuable than anything you did wrong#all the times you tried & everything that you tried to give - everything you think wasn't good enough - it was.#IN OTHER WORDS they are both convinced they're not good enough & they are both wrong <3#anyway dick and tim are both INCREDIBLY SIMILAR and also CONSTANTLY misreading each other and i love that for them#and like. they will sometimes totally misread each other & then never figure out the part that they misunderstood#but then they manage to keep going anyway. we love each other on purpose <333#ask tag#dick&tim
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do y'all think Macaque is falling back into the role that Azure and the others put on him by remaining on the outskirts of the group because he thinks his input/presence is unwanted (and yeah his presence isn't really wanted by MK and the others BUT. something about the fact Macaque is placing himself at the edge of the group, the edge that Azure and the others pushed him to, doesn't really sit well)
#Monkie Kid#lego monkie kid#monkie kid spoilers#lmk spoilers#im gonna be completely honest: i think the only reason Mac HASN'T apologized is cause he thinks they wont listen to it#so he's trying to do things WAY more subtly and it's NOT working out#and when i say ''he thinks they won't listen'' i dont mean he thinks they won't forgive him#honestly the group would be split 50/50 between ''forgives him'' and ''suspicious but willing to let him try''#i FULL OUT mean he thinks they won't listen. that they won't even hear his apology and will just talk over/ignore him#or completely misinterpret what he's saying#THAT'S what he thinks#when he was being the villain he was putting on a show. it's HILARIOUS how obvious his actions are a front when you rewatch s1 and s2#but like?? being actually him?? he does NOT expect them to listen to him when he's just himself#sort of like a. ''if you want people to listen you have to anger/frighten them into paying attention'' kind of mentality#not a good mentality to have#it DOES explain why he reacts Like That whenever someone does something that indicates they DID pay attention though#like. listen hear me out. i do NOT think Macaque expected MK to remember the Warrior thing.#so when MK brought it up it hit him like a truck#also why he reacts like that when Wukong somewhat seriously answers his ''you know this is just the calm before the storm'' question#+ when Wukong says ''we''#cause he does not consider himself part of the group. hence staying on the outskirts#GOD this guy is such a delicious pack of trauma to dissect. thank you lego for giving me not one#not two#but THREE traumatized monkeys to analyze
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I hate when Chakotay is watered down to be Janeway's yes man because their disagreements are actually very interesting. [A lot of rambling analysis of this debate in particular below]
Chakotay in Parallax is very interesting in that he has to navigate a lot of different dynamics. Balance a lot of plates while being watched keenly by everyone around him. Immediately preceding this scene we see him ask B'Elanna for her opinion on the bridge - both as a chance to show her knowledge in his bid to make her chief engineer (because she wouldn't get a chance to otherwise as Janeway has clearly indicated that at this point she views B'Elanna as a troublemaker who won't be considered for the position) and because he just thinks she's a better engineer than Carey and wants the best possible chance of them succeeding. Janeway sees this as unacceptable. Carey is the chief engineer and so he should be called and Chakotay NOT asking for his opinion is an insult to Carey, Janeway, and might make the crew doubt Chakotay (and by extension the Maquis') loyalty to the Starfleet crew.
At this point it seems that to Janeway integration ["They're not your people"] means the path of least resistance, specifically tailored towards the Starfleet crew. She wants Chakotay by her side to keep the Maquis crew calm but also seems unwilling to consider them for important positions aboard the ship. Though she says that the Maquis are not Chakotay's people, not his crew, she certainly doesn't seem to consider them hers [Compare this to later instances where she stresses 'our' crew, here she simply says they aren't Chakotay's: Whose crew are they? Are they crew at all?]. This less leaves the impression of "We need to be a cohesive team" and more "You're not in charge here." She essentially accuses Chakotay of playing favorites. In her mind Chakotay's actions are not conducive to integrating the crews which would (again, in her mind) mean the Maquis being docile and accepting, obedient and content - not making trouble for the Starfleet crew. Chakotay counters Janeway's accusation with one of his own: That he IS trying to integrate them into the crew but her not allowing the Maquis any opportunity to prove themselves or succeed, not showing any trust in any of them (except, implicitly at this point, him) is making things difficult. At this point the Maquis crew are ready to mutiny on his word at any time. He knows this for a fact. Aside from that looming threat (the threat being that tensions are high and if nothing changes and they remain high there might be a mutiny even without his word) - Chakotay knows these people and trusts them. Though Starfleet and Janeway think of the Maquis as a violent bunch of criminal terrorists, Chakotay and a good number of the Maquis joined because they believed in the cause they were fighting for. These are people Chakotay knows WILL fight fiercely for what they believe in and conversely, AGAINST what they perceive as injustice. Even if they're not in the majority - they're used to picking fights which seem impossible to win. At this point Janeway admits that she ISN'T making it easy for Chakotay to integrate the Maquis - specifically talking about practical concerns; how she doesn't feel she can let Maquis crew have roles of importance on the ship because they lack the ability to hold them. "They don't have the discipline, they don't have the training," - asserting that they just aren't prepared for any such roles and it doesn't have to do with them being Maquis specifically. Ostensibly, she's treating them as she might treat anyone unqualified for the job.
Chakotay maintains that some of them, like B'Elanna, have the ability to be trained - challenging her point by saying that IF they're trained there's no reason for any Maquis member NOT to be given a more prominent role on the ship. He isn't suggesting they just unqualified people important jobs. If the problem is that they aren't trained, let's train them. These people have the ability to succeed if you give them the tools they need and a fair chance, he insists. Janeway then switches gears and her argument becomes not "The Maquis are untrained so they can't be given those jobs" but "The Maquis crew are unworthy of those jobs when compared to Starfleet personnel" saying that it'll cause insult and upset among the Starfleet crew if any member of the Maquis were to be promoted above them. Again, her idea of integration is based more on Maquis subservience to the Starfleet crew than it is the two crews working together. (Not that I believe she looks at it that way, it's just where her 'path of least resistance' leads) - though she accuses Chakotay of being too focused on "his" crew, she is admitting here that she believes her real crew are the Starfleet officers aboard, not the Maquis. She also admits here that the system she wishes to maintain (and is asking Chakotay to enforce) is one where there will ostensibly never be any chance of a Maquis crew member being promoted because no Maquis crew member will ever be more qualified, more worthy, than a member of Starfleet. We can see how it'd be difficult for Chakotay to convince his crew to remain calm under these circumstances. There's also Tuvok's behavior toward him at the beginning of the episode where the Vulcan nearly goes over Chakotay's head and when he doesn't do so (as Chakotay reminds him that HE'S the superior officer, the First Officer in fact,) Tuvok acts as if him backing down (partially) and conceding (partially) to Chakotay's authority is a favor to Chakotay.
Tuvok in this conversation is downright insubordinate to Chakotay. Despite Chakotay being the first officer, he doesn't take what he says seriously, argues that his own opinion on what should be done should be followed rather than Chakotay's, lectures the first officer about his conduct, and then almost seems to threaten him with a report. In Starfleet's rigidly hierarchical rules, acting like this to a superior officer (ESPECIALLY the first officer) wouldn't be tolerated and Tuvok knows this perfectly well. He isn't a rebellious character and clearly in other episodes adheres to these Starfleet hierarchies and codes of conduct very strictly. He values them highly. But Chakotay, a Maquis, shouldn't be First Officer. Why should he be given respect for a title he didn't earn? [Affirming Janeway's argument about how Starfleet officers won't be eager to follow a Maquis senior officer] Even though Chakotay tells Tuvok off for it ["I don't have to explain myself to you"] he doesn't threaten to put Tuvok on report or explicitly mention his insubordination. It's unclear if this is Chakotay's personality or if he just doesn't feel he CAN do that. Tuvok is one of the three most senior officers aboard and very close to Janeway. Chakotay has to think of the optics of any situation at all times - we see seconds after this conversation that rumors have already started swirling around B'Elanna being relegated to quarters that've fanned the flames of mutiny. Though we know Tuvok has personal reasons for behaving the way he does toward Chakotay (which he later admits), I really don't think it'd be out of the ordinary for this to be how most Starfleet personnel would treat the Maquis if they weren't outright hostile: Like they're only pretend crewmen. To a lesser extent we even see this with Janeway: In the following staff meeting, she clearly doesn't consider B'Elanna a viable option when Chakotay brings her up and almost ignores the suggestion entirely.
It also, again, leaves Chakotay in an impossible position. If he doesn't protect and fight for the Maquis crew, they won't ever be considered a true part of the crew and dissatisfaction will likely spread among them. Dissatisfaction which the Starfleet crew will then use to further label the Maquis as insubordinate, uncontrollable, unfit. Not to mention that if he doesn't advocate for them, he might lose their trust. However, if he DOES try to help the Maquis crew advance the Starfleet crew will view this as 'favoritism' and will further distrust him, won't respect the people he puts forth as worthy. Janeway seems to be intent on not advocating for any of the Maquis crew and also seems unwilling to ask that the Starfleet crew grant leniency. She implies that the Maquis crew need to learn to get in line and keep quiet and it seems almost like [we must remember the optics] she has Chakotay as the only Maquis in a position of power to facilitate that. Chakotay recognizes and pushes against that, saying that he won't just be her token Maquis - there only so she can point to him and say "See? We don't discriminate against the Maquis here." effectively a tool used to shut down any arguments of unfair treatment and a tool to quell the Maquis if any talk of mutiny DOES arise. In this model, Janeway can just tell Chakotay to calm them down and they'll listen because they trust him. She also doesn't have to really listen to anything he says: A token First Officer has no authority; his words don't hold weight. [Chakotay isn't Maquis anymore, they aren't his crew anymore - ok. What is he then? What are they? Nothing, without respect.] This plan seems untenable, as much as Janeway frames it as sensible: "I can't make it easy, Commander. Surely you can understand that," and alternatives as impossible "How am I supposed to ask them to accept a Maquis as their superior officer just because circumstances have forced us together?" - in the long run, how would this be sustainable? In any power structure, you cannot expect a group of people you're unwilling to grant trust or agency to obediently follow you forever. This proposed form of 'integration' in which the Maquis are kept on the bottom rung and told intermittently to stay there quietly by the only one of them granted permission to stand at the top would never be sustainable - especially with a group like the Maquis who again, were founded on the belief that its members should fight against inequity and are already on the verge of mutiny.
I specifically find the statement "How am I supposed to ask them to accept a Maquis as their superior officer just because circumstances have forced us together?" to be interesting because personally I'd say that being forced together for the rest of almost everyone's natural life is a pretty good reason to ask people to adapt and Janeway does understand this but only applies it to the Maquis - the Maquis are the ones who have to adapt, not Starfleet. The only thing the Starfleet crew have to do is tolerate their presence on board.
At this point Janeway again claims that if Chakotay can show her a 'qualified' Maquis candidate she'll consider them. I believe this is true but we already know that Janeway's standards for qualification will likely not fit the vast majority of the Maquis and Chakotay ignores the claim in favor of putting forth B'Elanna again, firmly. Janeway predictably dismisses her as unqualified and Chakotay disagrees, arguing that he knows her. He's worked with her. He KNOWS that B'Elanna can excel at the job even if she doesn't meet Starfleet/Janeway's qualifications. He doesn't value those qualifications over what he's observed about her - just as he didn't value Carey's title over what he knew about the gap between his and B'Elanna's abilities. Then, Chakotay switches gears. He admits that Janeway's right - he does view the Maquis as his crew but that's because Janeway (almost self admittingly) doesn't and if he doesn't, who will they have? [What kind of captain, kind of man, would he be?] "You're going to have to give them more authority if you want their loyalty." "Theirs or yours, Commander?" Janeway frames Chakotay's words pointing out the flaws in this plan which I outlined earlier, as almost a threat (if she doesn't have Chakotay's loyalty it'll most definitely mean mutiny). Chakotay asserts that it wasn't a threat, he's only trying to help by telling her how the Maquis crew will react to what she's telling him. "I'm sorry you can't see that" - not an apology for what he said but that she isn't willing to budge, not willing to listen to him and acknowledge that she might be as biased towards her crew as he is towards his. Chakotay is trying his best to acclimate his crew but if Janeway isn't willing to do the same, to talk to her people as he's talking to his, then this will not end well and that isn't a threat. It's just the reality of the situation. He then asks permission to leave, showing he is willing to observe Starfleet protocol (just as when he asked permission to speak freely), and Janeway lets him go, exhaling at the intensity of their debate when alone in her ready room.
#J/C is not interesting to me when they're strifelessly playing house or Chakotay is her lovesick yesman who'll do whatever she says#Kathryn Janeway#Chakotay#I really wish they'd kept up this kind of tension between the crews and used Tuvok/Janeway/Tuvok as like a microcosm of that tension#it'd be so good!!#Tuvok#<- he's there too#chara analysis#star trek voyager#st voy#Is this the only episode they call the ship 'The Voyager' ??#Also hearing Harry call Tom 'Mr Paris' is funny - early seasons voyager you have my heart early seasons voy supremacy#ANYWAY - that's beside the point#I do like how the maquis v starfleet tension is handled in this episode#I love how we see everyone start working together and relationships begin to form#How once B'Elanna shows her stuff Janeway is almost immediately intrigued and excited & how B'Elanna feeds off that excitement#The Doctor: -annoyed annoyed complaining complaining snarky comment- ugh I can't believe I have to help with something STUPID#Kes: You're very sensitive aren't you~? /gen /pos#The Doctor: ???? um ..... haha. idk. anyway I'm glad I could help :)#'how can we be seeing a reflection of something that we hadn't even done yet?' Voyager I love you MWAH#Tom Janeway B'Elanna: -temporal mechanics- / Harry: .... so how do we get out???#SUUCKS that in later seasons B'Elanna & Chakotay's relationship isn't focused on anymore but I mean. Every poc is pushed aside in later#seasons. But here you can see how much Chakotay believes in her and wants her to succeed!!! No wonder she likes him so much#He was probably one of the first people to really believe in her and SHOW IT and now Janeway's doing the same thing <3#My above post may paint Janeway somewhat negatively but it's only in the 'character flaws and being wrong about things means you have#a chance to grow' way - as soon as B'Elanna shows her potential Janeway wants to encourage it#God B'Elanna's so pretty#I forgot Seska was on the bridge!#'many of your teachers thought you had the potential to be an outstanding officer' SOMEONE SHOULD HAVETOLD HEEEER!!!!!!!!#WHY DID NO ONE TELL HEEER!!!!!
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Presentation done!!! The birds are singing, sun is shining, life has meaning again etc. That was the last shitty thing for my bachelor’s degree; it’s smooth sailing from here (only writing & coding and nothing too scary/social)
#idk how it went#like yea my voice was shaking somewhat but that’s just something that can’t be helped#I did get like lot of post-presentation conversation & questions which bodes good things#like that u’ve been clear enough that ppl got out of it enough to form questions & opinions#but I also kind of think that might’ve been like pity-interest bc it was clear I was anxious as hell#anyways however it went it’s done and I’m taking the rest of the day off guilt-free#also again I discovered that the best thing for anxiety is to do the things that makes u wanna die and I hate that#bc like if I had another presentation tmrw I’d get it done sm better bc got less anxiety rn#but ohmygod doing those things sucks ass#april 2024#2024
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Choice Theft in the second degree, with utter disrespect
“To take the choice of another … to forget their concrete reality, to abstract them, to forget that you are a node in a matrix, that actions have consequences. We must not take the choice of another being. ”
from Perdido Street Station by China Miéville
The way Genji, Kumasawa, and Nanjo constantly refer to the rape as being like…The One Sin that Kinzo ever did in regards to Beatrice 2. As though they weren’t there actively helping him to raise her in isolation, imprisonment, lying to her about the world, about herself. As if that’s not also a nightmarish abusive situation already, just on it’s own. We have so little of Beatrice 2, but it’s an undeniable fact that she was a human utterly devoid of agency in every single way.. They stole from her even the choice to be angry or upset or aware about what was happening to her, what had happened to her. Of the choice to be a human and not a witch. Of the choice to be a daughter and not a wife. Genji’s half-truth phrasings during the games too when dodging confirmation from the siblings about whether Kinzo had a child with his mistress are especially disgusting. Since he’s not just outright lying like Nanjo, but denying Beatrice 2’s personhood as an individual, and slyly using Kinzo’s grooming logic that she was not really herself, but someone else (her mother), even if he did genuinely feel bad for her. I’m sure Genji, Kumasawa, and Nanjo contented themselves by thinking that a bird in a cage doesn’t long for the outside. But that’s a theft in itself. And this choice theft is only continued with Sayo. Robbed of her own unsurgically-altered body. Robbed of the context of her life. Robbed of the ability to make choices based on those two things. And then in telling her, far too late, she is robbed of the mundane, uncomplicated love that had existed in her heart for Battler. Robbed of a lineage not tainted by the most horrific abuse. Robbed even of the ability to look at her own father, at the people who raised her, with respect. Like…HELL IS NOT HOT ENOUGH!!!!
#tw rape#tw incest#tw grooming#tw abuse#umineko#umineko spoilers#genji ronoue#kumasawa chiyo#terumasa nanjo#beatrice ushiromiya#sayo yasuda#kinzo ushiromiya#the last line is worded oddly about ‘looking at her father with respect’ but by that i mean. how she had a kind of somewhat positive view-#-of kinzo before#since all those last few things are stuff that she never really had#as in she was always related to battler#she was always the product of incestuous rape#and kinzo and the complicit servants were always people who did not deserve her respect#but that was her reality which they destroyed. again.#the way the servants try to have their cake and eat it too by subjecting her to all of this to ease their and kinzo’s conscience about-#-her mother is so insane. like after all this fucking insanity. yes let’s deliver the bombshells that will shatter her whole pitiful world-#- weve forced her to live in. okay mission accomplished!#and they did it all with those smiles on their faces they thought they’d finally reached the happy ending to their twisted little story#of course sayo has a right to know and SHOULD know but the servants i feel were not telling her for her sake#but for their own. like their way of showing contrition#rather than finding some better way to do this than destroying her life in one fell swoop#text
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when the slowburn makes the ship extra cute~~~
#kimikawaii this week for sure!!!!!! (has been saying that since july)#ik the nghy payoff will be ✨sweet✨ but it’s kinda funny how hw are slowburning nagisa’s role in the series as a whole#mans has a grand total of 3 songs to date and only 1 has a cv ver#place your bets what do you think will come first? nghy duet or ariken duet#t h o u g h. ariken is also kind of a slowburn but we all knew they’d get together since ijiwaru release (shoutout to the og miku ver)#some say that ariken is still not canon in the novels to this very day#can’t believe we got arisa’s future career aspirations reveal before ariken canon in the novels smh#but i digress!!!!!!!!!!!! nagisa needs more action and attention!!!!!!#he did have kind of a ‘the bus came back’ moment with the izumo collab but we never saw his face again after that#(full cast merch doesnt count bc p. much everyone’s included in them except for the school nurse and kako)#so. all im saying is: slowburn nghy by all means. just dont slowburn nagisa’s character arc aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#now that mona mania has cooled off (to a degree) and chizusweep has mellowed out (somewhat) it’s shiranami’s time to shine!!!!!!!!#y. yeah. ik it’s harder to market him bc he’s a literal average (albeit handsome) joe but that’s part of his charm!!!!!#i mean!!!!! he can cook!!!!! he stans ft4!!!!! he’s devoted to the girl he loves!!!!!! he’s a dreamboat!!!! what more could you ask for?#but. i do have to say that nghy developments have been kinda awkwardly handled as a whole… esp with heroine ikusei#i think nagisa should’ve been introduced in heroiku or something… since he was planned from the start of hiyori’s development…#maybe they were trying to pull a ‘2nd love wins’ kinda parallel with kthn? but the ascana retcon made everything awkward huh…#i think it could’ve worked out in the mv-verse. like if they’d placed heroika+sukiuso after the fight+make up in herotaru#so the timeline would go smoothly from heroiku -> herotaru -> heroika#with hiyo realising that she’d be better off focusing on work and track after the asuka debacle + chizu fight#like a ‘forget romance!!! i gotta work hard and run hard!!! omg wait nagisa wdym you love me???’ kinda thing#but the [redacted] anime p much cut + pasted the asuka arc with the nagisa visit and. hm.#is this just an excuse to blame the clumsy handling of the nghy arc on the [redacted] anime? m… maybe…?#but it all still could’ve kinda worked out if they’d shifted the timelines around a little. y’know. since sukiuso mv has nagisa visit in oct#idk i think having hiyo learn how to doll herself up from lxl for her first crush (asuka)#and then using what she learned to yassify herself to meet up with nagisa would’ve been neater?#like a ‘hey look nagisa :) i applied what i learned from my pals :)’ kinda thing#or maybe chizu and juri could’ve helped her with the nagisa dressup scene post-herotaru fight… but i digress!!!!!!#hmmmmmmmmmm… well. this has gone way off topic… anyways nghy canon and cute that’s all byeeee#the dude from gamushara
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I really think we're not taking advantage of the potential for Catholic lifestyle shows. Shows for parents that teach about traditions and devotions to incorporate in family life--prayers, crafts, foods, etc. Cooking competitions where people make traditional foods associated with different feast days in different cultures. Travel shows about different countries' unique Catholic traditions. Just stuff that makes it clear that Catholicism can be woven into the everyday parts of life.
#catholic things#this is mostly about the cooking competition thing#because every time i see one of those christmas or easter themed baking shows#i think about how much cooler it would be if they focused on making like traditional easter breads and cakes#oh that reminds me there was that one mary berry special i saw the tail end of#that *did* somewhat do this kind of thing#teaching about the history as she made different traditional english easter foods#i should see if i can track it down cuz it looked pretty awesome
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i feel like p4's writers simultaneously wanted to address the issue of homophobia and also had literally no idea how to and gave up partway through-
#puppy rambles#persona 4#p4#which is simultaneously amusing and upsetting#idk i wanna give the writers the benefit of the doubt here. it was 2009 so i can't fully blame them even if it's obviously still lame#it def feels like that's what they were going for with kanji's arc at first#and i feel like it probably would've been at least somewhat addressed had yosuke's romance not been removed#but they kinda just. don't bring it up past the camping trip ever#hope they can get better at this kind of thing in the future#given p3p (which iirc did release after og p4) and p3r i do feel like they probably can. they're taking a step in the right direction#who knows though. i hope they do get better and that if they ever remake p4 that they amend this stuff#for the record i'm not fully knowledgeable on some of this stuff cuz i've been playing modded#and have the version of the yosuke romance mod that changes that one scene during the camping trip to not be homophobic-#persona games are products of their time in a lot of cases and this is how that's reflected for p4 sadly 😔
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we are so fucking back. despite intending to go into vlr/ztd spoiler free i could not handle it anymore and ended up spoiling myself on a few things (...not everything bc its Mostly just related to characters I care abt and im gonna try and gaslight myself into pretending I didn't see it anyway).
but oh my fucking god clocking phi as transfem in the first hour of vlr was some incredible foresight because she is even more transgender than I thought
original post here if anyone wants to see it or my additional reblog but god. im crazy
#trevor.txt#okay obviously i know how this conversation goes later and it's about phi actually having red hair but dying it#but something about the phrasing of it all is kind of. Okay#plus she specifically says she dyes it white because she doesn't like how it looks red#and plus the framing of the character models - from a filming perspective Even Tjough They Are Kind Of Ugly makes it sound like she's going#to reveal something much bigger than just I Dye My Hair Guys. maybe thats part of the joke but like. stick with me here#also it is kind of a stereotype to be like trans = dying your hair but i did. mine's dyed partially blue. i know SEVERAL other trans people#who have or want to dye theirs#^ which is kind of just a funny concidence but also like. has a lot to do with your sense of identity too? cutting/dying your hair for a lo#of trans people is kind of like. a huge part of transitioning or whatever. if this makes any sense because i sound somewhat crazy here? but#it def plays into gender euphoria/dysphoria commonly#in regards to the second point: kind of a weird trope i've seen a few times but when you view it through a transfem lens#it comes across as a gender dysphoria thing a bit#i would know from my own experiences. like it's obviously kind of the other way around bc im a trans Guy but like...#and then the last image. okay man. this was in the trivia section for ztd.#i don't even think i have to explain that one#anyways i sound a bit crazy with this but like. does anyone understand me. do you get it.#zero escape#zero escape phi#zero time dilemma#ztd#phiposting
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I think I've become an official HI3 player. I check the HSR leaks hoping for iterations of HI3 characters now
#I have little hope about some of them. For instance the Su and Kevin voice actors are taken by Aventurine and the Trailblazer iirc?#Kalpas' voice actor does the male Dreamseeker in Part 2 of HI3 which is not as terminal considering HSR is a different game but still#Luocha thankfully exists. I don't think they'll be introducing Kiana anytime soon#I would love Sakura but I'm way more into PE Sakura than CE Sakura and then there's what they did with Miko#Some of my favourite things of PE Sakura they gave to Jingliu or Acheron already (freeze time‚ haunted and corrupted by loss‚#unable to unsheathe a sword and memories coming back to her when she does‚#piercing someone's heart with her sword but the other person living on with a new life‚...)#Thus an iteration of all that but with the cool things missing could get messy and unsatisfactory pretty easily#Mobius and MEI are similar to Mei and Herta so they're in a similar situation to PE Sakura#I find Griseo somewhat unsettling in a good way and in a way same with Eden. I love all the loss weighing on her as if she had already dead#with the concept of her being The Era itself and the era dying. So I wouldn't mind seeing them too#Hua seems like she may appear in the Xianzhou? Given the Marshall existence and that the Xianzhou drinks a lot of those concepts#Blade‚ Dan Heng and Jingliu drink so much of Fu Hua. I don't care about Hua though. The Herrscher I did like though#I'm curious about what they'll do#Other than the Chinese voice actor having already a steady job in Mihoyo‚ there's echoes of Kalpas in Blade‚ Arlan and Sam#so I really don't have much hope there. Not as little as with Kevin and Su perhaps but... yeah not really a lot of hope#Yet here I am. Hopelessly hoping for a Kalpas iteration. Imagine how beautiful the fire would be *sigh*#I was so mad about him being my favourite in HI3 but it just makes sense#Besides the Guzm.a process he went me go through‚ he truly has a lot of themes going on that recall Blade. I don't know...#I like his CN voice actor a lot‚ and how he plays Kalpas in particular‚ both when he's calm and when he's deranged#The Dreamseeker doesn't have the same voice at all unfortunately. I would really love to see him in HSR what can I say#That's the kind of person I've become. In a little bit of time I'll be wanting a Kalpas plushie at this rate#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later
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liking the aesthetics of manly man stuff but trying not to buy from right wing MRA 4channers
#LISTEN I KNOW YALL MIGHT NOT WANAN HAVE A THING ON UR ABOUT PAGE EXPLICITLY DETAILING YOUR POLITICS#BUT COULD U PLEASE CONSIDER HAVING LIKE. ONE GAY SOAP TO SIGNAL. OR ST.#im just fucken. analyzing ur posts.....is this too patriotic? is this a subtle reference to 4chan soyboy conspiracy theories??#come on it would even be fitting like#okay sudsy bear if ur chill consider putting out a rainbow soap called 'bear soap (the gay kind)' its a good name#just godddd this is always. a prolem.#oh i wanna buy knives. spend 20 mjnutes digging to find out oh yeah they also sell. nazi knives. confederate flags.#i wanna buy cosmetics. oh wow thank u for having NO ESTROGENICS#to be clear im not explicitly accussing all of these sites of being MRA 4chsnners magas#(well the knife sites i am they make it. somewhat obvious.)#but seeing them talk about ohhh soy is BAD FOR MEN makes me say. ah hm so like. howww deep are u..into that.#did u just hear the psudeoscience and accept it w/o question or liiike. are u Deep Into It.#do u think theyre putting chemcials in the water to make the freskin frogs gay#anyway i dont expect them to like go all out or anything but one lil hint 'oh btw im chill i just enjoy knives/soap/tacticool stuff'#like a funny morale patch w a communist meme or a gay soap#not that that Proves Anything just ya kno. if all i have to go on is them having a couple too many american flags that would be enough to#say ehhhhh sure#buzzy
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why..... am i still awake......... coughs like i dieying
#thistle.txt#i mean my cough has gotten better. winning. somewhat. but i have been up the past 28? hours? which isnt ideal?#i dont know i kinda dont know numbers right now maybe its been longer.. i dont know......#just been very antsy due to thinking about the characters too hard for too long. i dont know why it odes that to me.#i have to think about NOVEL INTERESTING THINGS to survive. & well there havent been many interesting things to think about#kinda just like mold & spores figuratively...#caught a glimpse of whats going on at sment & closed my eyes. ahh... horrible horrible. not good stuff over there. not good.#oh my god. dpr in one month. shaky breath. they better not put any fucking lame songs on the setlist!!!!!!!!!!#fuckk i think rome did mood at that one concert last year i hope he does it again#tried to think of a song i dont want him to put on the setlist & couldnt find one. really? surely theres one#i thought there was a song on miito i didnt like as much....? hm. oh well more good music for me#maybe it was avalon but like so long as it doesnt take the spot of a song i REALLY like im fine w avalon. its not bad#& its hard to be mad at music once im seeing it live#now live........... well alli ahve to say is he should release more music some time. maybe. think about it.#not to be ungrateful or anything.#fuck my voice is like SHOT shot i forgot i cant speak at any kind of high pitch rn..... well i do like the deeper voice lip bite emoji..#i have no reason to talk out loud though good night
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It's always funny Almost completely relating to people's posts about being obsessed with a piece of media but it's clear they mean like a TV show or movie and are obsessed with one of the characters but for me it's literally always always with no exception some fucking band so it's not really the same but it does have the same completely all consuming effect on me
#i dont get obsessed with fictional characters ever but i do get fixated on some fucking guy from real life who makes music#which also means i dont really interact with the stuff im fixated on in the same way others who are primarily into fictional stuff seem to#be which is a good thing because it would be weird if i did but it means i can always ALMOST really relate but not quite#my version of making art of thing im obsessed with is sitting at my keyboard analyzing melodies and then crying a little but its fine#but yeah idk why but i have a difficult time getting obsessed with like a fictional piece of media ill enjoy it but it doesnt go farther#sometimes i latch onto characters somewhat where im like oh theyre me but its not the same#but um to be honest i think its cos i just dont really care unless its music cos music is kind of the only thing i get this excited about#ever !!!!! which is like . i mean its fine its just my whole life#like many people i can track the trajectory of my life based on whatever my months to years long specific media fixation was at the time#and like theres only been maybe 1 or 2 things that werent bands / musical artists#and then like as far as non media stuff goes music has just dominated my brain for basicslly my whole life except the only other thing that#comes close is linguistics/language learning which i think theres a LOT of parallels between the two so it makes sense#hm actually maybe 1 or 2 is low its definitely been more than that but the split of music and then non music stuff is like 80 to 20 percent
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god if I get to that rewrite I am going to make cadenza an uncanny horror girlie. Doesn't blink nearly enough. Sits eerily still sometimes. Just beautiful and very sweet but also just Unnerving. I want the scene of her father finding her to be really uncomfortable, not just because of the tragedy, but because of the WAY Cadenza acts. The way she talks. I want her to speak in a way children do not speak, but sound calm, turned away from Hayden, still picking the flowers, maybe some soot on her. Then he asks her a question, and she turns around, and she looks at him and there's tears running down her face, but her expression is mostly calm, her eyes wide open, looking into his, as she tells him how her mother and father are burning alive in the village. Clearly something is WRONG with her. And maybe Hayden chalks it up to the trauma at first, the way she responds to the tragedy, but even as she grows up, she's still got that weird stare, that odd way of speaking.
#cadenza mcd#mcd#jeremiahs mcd notes#now listen here#i do not care for sarah j maas' books all that much#i have read many of them bc there is stuff in there that is legitimately well done and somewhat interesting#but she usually manages to ruin that cool element as she's introducing a new promising thing to follow#it's a whole thing#the books kind of keep you hostage#but one thing i did sort of really love was armen#the way she is so fucking disconcerting#but she is treated as an equal and a friend to these people#i like dynamics like that#just a weird weird girl and her loving friend group#and i think i'd like to take it sort of that route with Cadenza#except with Armen they are very very afraid of her bc she could do them harm#i think the fear around cadenza is mostly just not knowing what's up with her. like what her deal is.#bc it is clear she isn't normal#but it isn't clear just by those signs WHAT makes her abnormal precisely#she just isnt#and they do not know what she sees or what she does#but she is sweet to them and she is their friend
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