#thanks for the ask merv i love to talk

[dthclws]

im curious now and i like to hear ppl talk abt characters so! what is it about damian that makes him compelling to you? what do you like abt him/his character? (genuinely <3)

well. robin son of batman was really the comic that like cemented damian in my heart like its so crazy the art the writing (most of the time) the characterization is so. gutwrenching like he KILLS me in that comic. idk just his struggle with having to reconcile his desire to be what he was trained to be vs his idolization of his dad. damian in his early stuff is just constantly going What do you mean its bad to be ruthless and merciless and violent im trying to be you. and bruce goes. Who??? told you that?????? very funny. to me. horrible attitude horrible behavior he’s so stubborn but i love it. and there are so many reasons that he is the way he is especially when you realize that like. damian has literally never ever had fun or let himself have fun he doesn’t know how to PLAY with other kids and the batgirl panel where steph realizes this and gets a bouncy castle and forces him to. have fun. makes me crazy he’s a little kid what the hell. and son of batman even has some call backs to previous comics like theres this part in batman and robin (i think) where damian crushes a bat in his hands bc he got frustrated to show that its just like. natural for him to act that way bc thats what he was taught to do. violence is natural. and then when damian realizes he doesn’t actually. like violence that he doesnt want to hurt people fuuck dude he’s just a little boy trying to do what he thinks he’s supposed to do and then reckoning w the fact that he’s WRONG. and theres this panel in son of batman where damian is laying on his back in the batcave and staring at the skeleton of this bat he killed without even thinking of it. and he has like tears in his eyes. the potential of his character development is sooo compelling i just wish they gave him that chance. not to mention maya in son of robin as a perfect narrative foil for damian all the responsibility to family and the pressure of a legacy and what it means, whether they placed it on their own shoulders or not. soo good. and they’re silly. also damian’s pet goliath SIIICK SICKENINGG. one punch man image. What’s with this sassy lost child

[dyns33]

Feeling rainy

Another Dream x female reader 

      “Honey, you look cloudy today. No, rainy."

     "I confirm, he is very rainy at the moment."

     "Matthew. Leave us."

     "Right away, boss. But I'm sick of being wet all the time when I fly in the Dreaming, thank you very much."

It had taken a little time, but during their relationship, Y/N had acquired several certainties about Morpheus, especially about his mood.

The master of nightmares was not very good at expressing his feelings. Mainly because he didn't always know them himself. Partly because he was stupid and not very good with people.

His emotions were like a storm inside him. And therefore, a storm inside the Dreaming, especially when he was nervous, angry or sad.

Happy or neutral sentiments were preferable, with the sky remaining blue, the sun lighting up the whole realm, and the wind seeming to sing melodies.

 Sometimes it was a little too hot, when he was in love and excited, but that was no big deal. Also, it never lasted very long.

Like the weather, Morpheus' mood was changing very quickly, and very easily.

And even though he was doing his best to hide his feelings behind a straight face, the Dreaming never left any doubt that something was bothering him.

     "Is it because of last night ?" Y/N asked calmly.

     "I don't wish to talk about it, love."

     "Not even to please me ? I don't like it when you rain, especially because of me."

     "... It's not because of you. I probably overreacted."

     "Kind of like always, darling, but that doesn't mean your feelings aren't valid. Do you want a hug ?"

     "... Maybe."

The tall, terrible prince of the stories certainly didn't like being seeing as weak, but when Dream was in Y/N's arms, he looked like a cat desperately trying not to purr with pleasure, totally at her mercy.

It wasn't a problem since they were alone, but dreams and nightmares guessed what was going on, as the clouds disappeared and a rainbow formed over their heads.

     "She has to cuddle him all the time."

     "Hush."

     "Merv is right. I may be his more or less emotional raven, but he clearly needs her as an emotional human."

     "Get out of my library."

All of this could have gone quite well, since Y/N had managed to decode the functioning of the Dreaming, and therefore of Dream, but sometimes he was visibly lost and upset by her emotions, not knowing how to help her, and beginning to feel them with her.

Which was not a good thing, for him, nor for his kingdom.

Y/N therefore asked for advice around her, knowing that it was useless to ask Morpheus directly. Morpheus never really answered questions. That being said, his subjects weren't necessarily better for it.

Lucienne, loyal intelligent Lucienne advised her to speak to the Lord, as communication was important, although she had to be careful how she wanted to express what she wanted to say, as the Lord could misunderstand things.

Merv and Matthew thought that they should say nothing and just cover him with kisses and compliments so that he would always be happy. Because everyone wanted him to be happy, and everyone loved rainbows.

The Corinthian had a different opinion.

     "You have to do exactly like him." he declared with three huge smiles.

     "What do you mean, like him ?"

     "You want to help him by doing anything so that he doesn't get overwhelmed by emotions ? So don't show any emotion yourself. Keep them inside, act neutral, use a monotonous voice, express your love with ridiculously complicated little sentences, and it will be perfect."

Normally, it would have been strongly discouraged to listen to a nightmare. But despite their bickering, the Corinthian was arguably one of the creations that knew Morpheus best, so Y/N thought it wasn't a bad idea.

After all, Dream was a bit like a sponge. Absorbing all the dreamers' hopes, fears, desires, emotions, and though he was a separate being who felt distinctly, he couldn't completely cut himself off from the rest of the world.

So it seemed logical that he was sometimes troubled by others, and therefore by Y/N, with whom he spent the most time.

It didn't cost much to imitate him. It wasn't necessarily easy, but she could do it, for him, so it wouldn't be rainy or stormy too often.

So she trained in front of a mirror, doing her best to remain impassive as she thought about a joke, her deceased grandfather, an adorable kitten, her boss whom she wanted to strangle, and lots of things that never left her indifferent.

Part of her had thought Morpheus wouldn't notice. Another hoped he would see it, that he would be happy, and that she could smile to herself.

While they were watching her favorite movie together, a funny scene played out and she didn't react. Then another, and another, until Y/N felt that Dream's attention was no longer on the screen, but on her.

     "My love, you seem distant."

     "Not at all. I'm enjoying a pleasant evening, with you." she said with a neutral tone.

     "... You didn't laugh. Would you like to see another movie ?"

     "No, I like this movie. You weren't laughing either, do you want to change ?"

     "I never laugh."

    "Because you're too melancholic to find aything funny ?"

     "... No. My laughter... I was informed that my laughter could be frightening."

Y/N then turned to him, and at that moment, she almost smiled, finding the revelation ridiculous and adorable,  wanting to hear that laughter that her lover was so ashamed of, out of curiosity, but above all to reassure him.

Except that for that, she would have to show emotions, and make him feel emotions, and the goal was to remain as neutral as possible, so Y/N forced herself to remain neutral, looking at him straight in the eyes so that he knew that she was serious, while looking for the right wording.

"I'm sure your laugh is sweet." was the best thing that came to her, patting Morpheus' hand, before watching the movie again.

There were many other moments like this, at the New Inn, at the park, in the Dreaming, and Y/N really thought that everything was fine, that she was doing a good job. The weather seemed calm, with a few distant clouds, but no storms in sight.

Still, there was something in Morpheus' eyes when he looked at her. Curiosity mixed with fear. She didn't dare tell him about it, thinking it was nothing, and he didn't tell her either.

Until Matthew came to visit her as she was getting ready to go to sleep.

     "I don't know if I should ask you to go to bed quickly, or advise you to stay awake."

     "Why ? What's going on ? Morpheus is in trouble ?!"

     "Uh... That depends. Is everything okay between you two ?"

     "Yes, perfectly fine. Why ?" she asked, suddenly worried.

     "I don't know. It's foggy at the moment. We've had a few rains, a few tornadoes, but Lucienne managed to calm it down. Except that... Hmm... I don't know if I should say it."

     "Matthew."

     "He thinks you don't love him anymore." sighed the raven, lowering his head.

The news hit Y/N straight to the heart. For a moment, she wondered how Dream could have come to such a conclusion. Then she remembered how Dream was, his difficulties in understanding people, emotions, and even if he himself didn't often show what he felt, he clearly needed others to show him.

For a month, Y/N thought to make him happy. For a month, Morpheus thought she wanted to leave him.

     "... This is a terrible misunderstanding."

     "Glad to hear that. Can you tell him, please ?"

Falling asleep when stressed might take a while, but Y/N needed to see Morpheus quickly, so she closed her eyes thinking hard about him, and she arrived on the balcony of his palace.

It was raining.

Obviously, Matthew had come to see her before Lucienne went to speak to her master.

Dream stood in the rain, motionless, watching his realm. He didn't move when she came close to him, resting her head on his shoulder.

     "I love you, you know that ?" she asked shyly.

     "I hope so."

     "In wanting to please you, I made a mistake. Your mood changes so easily, you can be so fragile, so sensitive."

     "I'm not fragile." he muttered, continuing to stare into the distance.

     "You are, but that's neither an insult nor the question. I thought... The Corinthian told me that if I don't show my emotions, I won't upset you with them and that you I would be happy. I wanted to help, really. Since you know that I love you, I imagined that it wouldn't change anything. It would be inside, like for you. Sorry."

Finally, Dream turned to her, looking surprised and solemn. He stared at her for a long time, before taking a deep breath.

     "I see. So you made several mistakes, indeed."

     "Dream..."

     "You listened to the Corinthian, a nightmare."

     "I know."

     "You thought it would be good for you to keep your emotions inside, like me. Knowing that my emotions are never really inside, but entirely outside, in the Dreaming, while you should keep your storms in your little heart."

     "I get it, I..."

     "And you believed that I would like you to deprive me of your smile. Of your laughter. That you hide your sadness from me, which I could erase with kisses. Your anger, which I could appease with poems. Your love, which I carry in my chest. All this to make me happy ?"

So Morpheus did something that Y/N hadn't imagined.

He laughed. 

And like he said, his laugh was a little scary. Inhuman. A sound that mortals weren't supposed to hear, that no one was supposed to hear. But he was laughing, and he was smiling, and he came over to kiss her, and Y/N thought she liked that sound a lot.

     "My love, your emotions, all your emotions, are my joy. Do not hide them from me."

     "Okay. But promise me you'll tell me when it's rainy, and why."

     "Very well."

     "And I was right, your laugh is very sweet."

     "Yeah, I guess love makes you blind and deaf."

     "Matthew. Leave us."

     "Yes, boss. Glad it's not raining anymore."

Indeed, the sun had returned as he spoke, a bright sun, and even if the weather could never be perfect, like their relationship, Y/N would do everything to make Morpheus as bright as possible.

[thegreatobsesso]

7 snippets 7 people

Thank you for the tag @oh-no-another-idea !

I'm going to post seven snippets from the chapter I'm currently editing and edit them as I post so that I'm doing double-duty. :D

All Callie POV!

1.

Grace grinned as Callie reached out in awe and ran her fingertips over the keys. There had to be a hundred in here, and together, they resonated with a silent hum of power - her power. Unique and strong, and the thought came to her without an ounce of ego. She was happy to give it away, and have no one ever know where it came from.  What the fuck? 

2.

“You’re done for the day,” Flora declared.  “What? No. No no no. I’m gonna make more keys. Hey. Merv. Tell her we’re gonna do more magic.”  Bennett looked at her funny. “Did you just call me ‘Merv’?”  “No.”  “You can’t even talk,” he said, to her extreme annoyance, because she was talking just fine, thank you very much. "Flora's right, you're done."

3.

“Keep an eye on her,” Bennett told Dig before leaving, watching her where she swayed happily on the ground.  “Dig has eyes,” she said helpfully. “I said I wanna make another orbox. Guys. I wanna help.” Suddenly she was crying. She’d just been happy. What the hell. “I just wanna help,” she sobbed. “I wanna help so bad.”  “Aww, of course you do,” Dig said, and then he was helping her walk over the bed they’d made, just a big pile of blankets and pillows on a slab o’ stone. “But you can’t help if you’re dead, dearie, so you gotta have a rest. Just for a little while.” 

4.

“You’re part of a plan. As are we all, but Spirit’s got a lot to say about your role in this.”  She smirked. “My dad would’ve called you a demon.”  Dig laughed. “I get that from time to time,” he said, shrugging his shoulders and making tiny bells at the end of his shirt jingle. “When did he pass?”  “Huh? Oh, no. He’s not dead. I just... we don’t speak.”  “Oh.” Dig pursed his lips, like he wasn’t sure whether or not he should continue. “You know, sorry, but I just gotta say, he may be a faith leader, but he’s not the end-all-be-all authority on God. There’s a lot of Christians who believe that God is all love and forgiveness, that He doesn’t live to judge us.” 

5.

“What does your heathen ass know about it anyway?”  “Well, I’ve spent thirty years studying and teaching theology and my husband’s a Christian, so more than you’d expect.”  “Your gay magician husband’s a Christian?”  “Jake’s not a magician. He just lives here because I live here. And I’d wager the God he believes in and the God your dad does bear almost no resemblance.” 

6.

“And you believe in Him?” she asked, stunned. “In God?”  “Oh, sweetheart,” Dig said, swooping up his cards with a tinkly jingle of his sleeve, “I believe in all the gods. They don’t give me much of a choice. Do you?”  She felt very sleepy, imagining all the gods including God stopping the godly things they were doing to send Dig telegrams. “I dunno,” she muttered. She downed the last lukewarm sip of the sweaty-sock tea as her eyelids start to droop. “What is this shit?”  “Valerian root,” he said. “It makes you relaxed.”  She narrowed her eyes at him, feeling the impossibly strong call of the pillows underneath her head. “So by it’ll help, you meant...?”  “That it’ll mellow you right off to sleep, yeah.” He stood and unceremoniously dumped a thick comforter on top of her. “Nighty night, Red.” 

7.

“Grace,” she insisted sharply, “what do you mean, when you go?”  “Fall term starts in two weeks,” she said, looking surprised she had to explain. “I’m not enrolled. I’m only here for a year.”  “The fuck you are.”  “I told you that,” she said, trying to wriggle free from Callie’s grip and putting all her herb bags down when she couldn’t. “I must’ve.”  “No,” Callie said. “No, kid, you didn’t. And, um, this is crap, okay? You’re not going anywhere. We need you.”  I need you. She stopped it from spilling out, because she couldn’t explain it. There was no actual reason she needed Grace. But she couldn't let her just, just leave.

Edit: I guess I forgot how tag games work. 🥸 Tagging: @avrablake, @winterandwords, @pertinax--loculos, @indecentpause, @sleepy-night-child, @pandawriterstuff, and @dontjudgemeimawriter :D

[themirokai]

I genuinely don't know if you can send URLs in asks, so if this doesn't work, blame the blue hellsite... but how about a raven being adorable? And naughty. But mostly adorable. https://youtu.be/hh52CfnGCK4

Thank you so much for this! Over on my last Matthew The Emotional Support Raven fic, I asked for prompts of real ravens and this one is perfect.

The URL does work but just in case it needs to be included in the answer as well, I strongly recommend that everyone watch this beautiful lady hanging out and entertaining herself:

The thing that got me the most about this charming video was the mimicry! I kind of knew ravens did this, but I loved Fable saying "Hi" in what is clearly the same tone her handler uses. So that's where I started with this silly little fic. Enjoy!

Matthew landed on the branch of a gnarled tree. “Heya, Merv.” 

Mervyn Pumpkinhead glanced up from where he was digging a ditch. “Hey, new kid. Whaddaya want?” 

“I’ve been practicing,” Matthew told him. 

“Aw yeah?” Mervyn stuck his shovel into the dirt and leaned on it with his elbow, puffing on his cigar. 

“Yeah, ya wanna hear?” 

“Go on, then,” Mervyn gestured with his cigar. 

Matthew took a deep breath and attempted to draw himself up regally. “I Am The Shaper of Form, Prince of Stories.” 

Mervyn’s orange face scrunched up. “Nah, needs work, kid.” 

“Wait wait, I can do better!” Matthew cawwed, fluttering his wings. He took another breath, closed his eyes this time. “Guardian of Sleepers, Lord of the Dream Domain.” 

Mervyn waggled his head from side to side. “Eh, better, but still not there.” 

“Anthropomorphic Personification of the Collective Unconscious.”

“Whoa there!” Mervyn put up his hands. “Too far, kid! Pull it back!”   

“Sorry, sorry,” Matthew said in his own voice. “How’s this?” he cleared his throat. “King of Dreams, Ruler of the Nightmare Realms.” 

Mervyn’s eyes went wide. “Oh yeah! You got it, kid!” 

“I am the Sandman,” Matthew continued. 

“Very amusing.”

Every feather on Matthew’s body stood on end as he watched Merv’s cigar fall from his gaping mouth into the dirt. Slowly, inch by inch, Matthew forced himself to turn his head and look behind him. 

Lord Morpheus was there, clad in a gray t-shirt and black jeans, arms crossed over his chest and frown on his face. Just behind him stood Lucienne, face contorted with the effort of containing her laughter. 

Matthew’s heart hammered in his chest. “Uh, hi. Boss.”

“You might have considered practicing with something other than my names.”

“I’m sorry, Boss, I j-“

Lord Morpheus held out his hand, his face stern. “Come, Matthew.”

Matthew flexed his feet against the branch and tried to look small and inoffensive. “Uh… where are we going?” 

“To my gallery. I am going to block the visual connection.”

If Matthew had eyebrows they would be scrunched up as he flew to Lord Morpheus’s outstretched hand. 

“Wait…” Matthew landed as gently as he could and was immediately transferred to Lord Morpheus’s shoulder, “you want me to talk to your siblings? As you?” 

Now he could see the little smirk on Lord Morpheus’s face. 

“I do.”

“Oh this is gonna be fun!” 

~~

I hope you enjoyed! I don't usually write Morpheus's dialogue in bold, but it worked here.

Update: the master post of my Matthew the Emotional Support Raven ficlets is here.

[ninthhousedyke]

Nona The Ninth Live Blog #9

Okay yes it has been FOREVER but I can explain: I’m lazy. Also like…I sadly had to do human things like finals and not killing myself so I’m just getting back into everything. I also already do know most of what happens in the end because spoilers exist and I read them, but I still want to finish the book and catch any details I haven’t seen on my dash. Okay let’s begin!

Gideon just….playing dead….while Pyrrha carts her around like a sack of potatoes is such an image and I love her.

No I wanna know what Cam said to Gideon in that truck! Was she yelling at her for stupidly thinking Harrow hates her? Was she asking “bro wtf”? Was she trying desperately to jab more needles into her as Gideon just laughs? WHAT DAMMIT!

Okay so I do know that Pash and Gideon are cousins, but is THIS the moment Pash realizes it? Is her “oh fuck no” because she sees the ginger hair and knows it’s Wake’s DNA?

Nona worried Pyrrha will flirt with Pash is so cute.

“I hate to agree with Pash but she’s right.” “Thank you; fuck you.” Everyday I am more and more glad I wrote a hatesex fic about these two because every interaction proves just how much it was needed.

Wow so BOE cannot control their people at all! Merv Wing is just doing their own thing with the Sixth House basically?

Aweee Hot Sauce and Nona made up!

Hot Sauce being named Hot Sauce because she likes hot sauce is such a non-binary mood.

AHHHH WAKE HAD PASH’S PICTURE ON HER!!

So will Pash ever know Gideon is her cousin? Is that coming next?

Oh never mind there’s a resurrection beast now

I love how the most dangerous thing Nona can think of is Cam

The resurrection beast spoke THROUGH Judith!?!

I know Nona is Alecto but DAMN that conversation with Varun and the “And I never was” at the end are still so damn powerful.

“Is anything ever really truly ready to die?” TAMSYN STOP IT RIGHT NOW

Gideon just taking a nap through all of this lmao

I just read the John chapter and I’m gonna need a minute…..or five.

Okay let’s talk about John!

The moral grayness of the entire backstory to this universe is insane. Blood of Eden are the descendants of the top 1% who fled the climate disaster they caused, and John was one man with an insane gift granted to him by a dying planet’s soul. Is there really a correct way to handle that situation?

So he threatened to set off all the bombs if the trillionaire ships were allowed to launch, and then not only did he actually set the bombs off, but he took the souls of the dead and literally Adam and Eve-ed up a body for Earth’s soul just to try and catch the fleeing ships. And he didn’t even get them all! This man ate the souls of the universe to stop some rich assholes from running away!

That line about John caring more for vengeance than salvation hits harder now that I know HE MURDERED THE ENTIRE SOLAR SYSTEM!

RIP Cristobel

He also watched all his friends get murdered which has gotta take a negative toll on someone. Cassie and Nigella had JUST gotten married!

Like I’m finding it really hard to feel upset at his actions. What was he supposed to do? Let the rich live and the poor die? On the other hand, I’m a huge proponent of murder is always the option but nuking the entire world and building a Barbie doll body for Earth was a bit much.

Alright done with John! Back to my babies!!

“Kind of pretending to be dead here.” Oh Gideon I cried reading that. I’ve missed you so much.

Gideon asking Alecto if she loves Harrow is so painful and I just want these two to kiss for real when they’re both back in their correct bodies and states of mind.

Palamedes really is THAT BITCH. He has no formal training in the River or how it works but he’s like “yes this is a good solution”

Cam has two dads AND a sister?! Why is this information I’m just now hearing about! Oh god she’s gonna die isn’t she.

“We were children playing with reflections of stars in a pool of water thinking it was space.” OH GOD TAMSYN STOP THEYRE GONNA DIE

So that’s who Paul is….huh…the spoilers did not prepare me for that one. So we just lose both of them at once? We now have this third thing who is a Lyctor and is neither of them? No go back. I don’t want this. Take it back now!!

So Pash and Aim and Noodle are going to the Nine Houses. So we’re gonna get more Pash in book 4? Please don’t kill Pash. Let one person in this series have a happy ending and get to live without any body-soul fuckery.

WHO TF IS AIM

River time!

Okay I should really go to bed now but hopefully I actually finish this book in the near future.

[voxmortuus]

Silly Crush | POSSIBLE CHAPTER SERIES

Stu Macher x F!Reader

Scream FanFic

TW: Fluff, mild language, heated make-out session

Forgive my writing. It’s been a while.

GIF created by @2026

Late summer of 1996, just before school starts back up again. The summer fair had come to town, this year it decided to not skip town, the weather was perfect for it! Being the loner you usually steered clear of these things, but you had befriended Tatum and Sidney. It was nice to have friends that you could talk to, to trust, plus the added perks of Stu's flirtatious nature, though you could never bear to tell him that you had a crush on him, you'd be risking your friendship and likely look foolish, there was no way you thought that Stu would be into someone like you... I mean, after all, he was Stu Macher, he and Billy were kind of known around Woodsboro High.

Slipping into your favorite pair of black overalls, one strap off, and slipping on a black crop top and a pair of black LEI black platforms a touch of makeup, and braided your hair into long pigtails, and headed out. Tatum loved your outfit. "We'll meet the guys there, Stu had to do something." Tatum chirped while you hopped into her red Volkswagen bug and takes off down the road. "What did have to do?" You casually ask. "Something with Billy, said they'd show up after, some project they're working on." Sidney chimed in. "Yeah something stupid important." Tatum mocked. With a chuckle, you shake your head and watch out the window.

Getting out of the car after she parked it you three look around and decide to head to the benches waiting for the two boys to arrive. Tatum played with her gum and Sidney reading a book, you sat there, people watching, three unlikely friends, but so far so good, this was going to be good for you, real good, so you hoped, minus the odd guilt of crushing on Tatum's man. Letting out a soft breath, Stu and Billy approach from behind startling their better halves. Stu looks at you and gives you a sweet smile. "Hey Y/N. Glad you made it." It could be he was being nice, but the feeling behind his words was something more. You give a kind smile back and flush slightly. "Me too." Clearing your throat and with a side stare from Tatum and a smile from Sidney the girls hop up and look around.

Without any hesitation Tatum looks a Stu, "It's time for that big blue dog you promised me!" She grinned taking his hand and dragging him away. Sidney looked at Billy, "Ferris Wheel?" with a shrug and a nod. "Sure." Sidney looks at you. "You can come if you'd like." You shake your head and give a smile. "Nah, I'll be good, I'll be here. It's just nice to get out of the house." Sidney nods and pats your shoulder before she and Billy take off to the wheel while you sat there, alone, like always. "I knew this was a bad idea." you tell yourself before letting out a sigh and slump on the bench picking at your glitter nail polish and staring at the ground a bit.

After a few hours had passed Tatum started to feel sick, of course, that's what happens when one inhales two cotton candies and a thing of funnel cake and a corn dog and a diet soda. She looks at you. "Hey, I'm going to head home, thanks for coming with us, Stu is going to take you home if that's alright?" You look at her "Yeah, that's fine. Feel better." You tell her. "Billy, Sidney you ready?" she askes them almost feeling ignored you look down at the ground, your jaw clenches, Sidney touches your shoulder again and the three of them take off. Stu sits next to you and looks ahead of himself. "You know, she doesn't mean to be a bitch all the time." You look up and over at him and arch a brow. "She's not a bitch, just, set in her ways." With a chuckle, he shakes his head. "No need to be polite. She brought you here and ditched you. Personally Bitch move." He stated

Shaking your head you know how people like that can be, you slump a bit more. "Nothing like being a third wheel." you chuckle. "It's alright though, it was nice to get out of the house." you state with a soft voice and maybe some optimism. Looking at you he smiled. "How about I make up for it?" You quickly shake your head and smile. "You don't have to, there's nothing to make up for." Shaking his head again. "I don't think you understand. Let me make it up to you. I don't think I'm giving you much of a choice." Clearing your throat you look down and pick at your nails again and nod your head. "Okay Stu."

Standing up he takes your hand and your whole body gets warm, flushed, and nervous as he takes you to win you that blue dog he botched trying to get for Tatum. "Until I win the big blue one Merve." He tells the man behind the counter. "Anything for you Stu." He chuckles and hands him some baseballs. You watch as he looks at you. "I'm bad at this." He laughs throwing a few, "Not too bad." you reassure him. After a good five minutes, he wins you the large blue dog, smiling you bite your lip taking the dog. "Thank you," you tell the man and then at Stu. "And thank you. I have the perfect spot for him in my room." You beam a smile nuzzling into the dog a bit.

"Next stop!" He takes your hand and takes you to get something to eat. You blush a bit as he took it upon himself to order for you. Taking a seat a the picnic benches Stu looks at you and looks around. "There are a few more stops before we hit the big ending." He nodded to the Ferris wheel. Biting your lip and taking a bite of your burger you look at him and back at the end of the strip and let out a shaky breath. Nerves are going to get the better of you, you know this and grip the large paw of the dog and look at Stu. "Thank you, for all of this so far." He laughed. "Don't thank me until the end." He tells you.

Finishing food he takes you to the water guns, the ball toss and ends up winning you a goldfish, the thunderbolt, and last but not least, you two are standing in line for the Ferris Wheel, your stomach is turning, nerves, the Ferris wheel was a special ride. "We don't have to do this." You tell him. "Nonsense, we're going." He laughs taking your hand and getting into a cart and closes the door. Placing the dog and the bag with the goldfish on the bench across the way Stu decides to sit next to you with his arm around your shoulders, pulling you close. Taking in his cheap cologne your eyes close, feeling this odd sense of safety.

The ride takes off and you jump a little and he pulls you closer. "Heights make me uneasy." you tell him, looking down at you. "I'll protect you." He tells you with a cheeky grin and looks around. "Thank you for tonight, I'm glad I came." She smiled. "I'm glad you came too." A few times around the wheel stops, Looking around Stu chuckles. "Uhhh, bad news, we're going to be stuck here for a bit." Your eyes grow wide and you get closer to him and bite your lip harder. Stu holds you petting your head a bet and you look up. "Well I guess, we should talk... I need to distract myself. I'm a horrible friend Stu." You tell him.

With an arched brow, he looks at you, "How so?" you fidget and he looks at you, waiting for you to speak. "I've uhh, I've got this thing for someone, and this someone has someone, and this someone's someone had befriended me this summer and I feel like a bad friend for liking this someone." You state, "Vague... I'm sure Sidney would understand, everyone's got a thing for Billy." He moves away a little bit. Shaking your head you look up at him. "No Stu, I like you, and Tatum would have a cow if she found out." Stu looks at you. "You like me?" He asks you, nodding your head he chuckles and smiles. "I like you." He tells you.

With a nervous laugh, you lean into him and bite on your lip. He looks down at you, and tilts your head up, and presses his lips to yours, his hand resting on the side of your neck as you grip his shirt and press into the kiss a bit more. His tongue dances with yours as the kiss becomes a bit more heated, his hand moves from your neck to your breast gripping it in his hand as the other pulls you closer. He pulls you on top of him and you look over his face, moving your hips a bit and he lets off a soft groan, pulling you closer back into a kiss as his hands rest on your butt pulling you even closer, any closer and you'd melt into him. His hand slips under your shirt playing with the perky bit of flesh and the suppleness of your breast while your fingers play with his hairline.

Tongues dancing together he lifts his hips up into yours. Looking over his face. "We shouldn't do this here, not here, and it's too quick, and I... Stu..." Stu looks at you. "Yeah Y/N?" He askes with a smile. "Do you love Tatum?" You ask him. "I wouldn't call it love, she's annoying, needy, and overly clingy... I offered to take you home, I wanted to tell you I liked you, and was hoping that maybe you'd be my girl." He looked over your face. Hugging him you nuzzle into his neck. "Yes, absolutely. Tatum is going to shit." You chuckle shaking your head. "She will at first, but she'll find someone else to occupy her time." He smirked and places you next to him and fixed your shirt, taking care of you, holding you close.

The wheel starts moving again and when you two get off the wheel, he smiles taking your hand, and escorts you to his car where he then takes you home. "I'll come by tomorrow we'll go see a movie or something. After I tell Tatum see ya." He chuckled planting a kiss on your lips before you get out of the car and make your way inside with your dog and fish. Your mother looks at you. "Well well, looks like you had fun." You smirk big and nod. "Night mum. Love you." You kiss her cheek and rush upstairs. Putting the fish in a bowl and the dog on the foot of the bed you strip down into something comfortable grab your journal and being to write. "Dear Diary, Tonight, was the best night EVER!"

—————————————————————————————————

If you want to be tagged let me know. This is the first of many stories! I am also taking requests!

@luciferslittleastre

[abstract-crossverse]

Hmm, how about Ira x bold reader x Ezekiel? I think I’d be an interesting dynamic, a gentle giant, a bold-flirty-daredevil, and a dramatic flirt. Chaos is what it sounds like. (btw, if this matters- he/they pronouns for the reader plz :> )

Didn't think someone would ask for my statues, so thank you! Most of my stuff doesn't really imply gender so everyone is included, so the reader's gender in this is really up to you!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ira and Ezekiel with a bold S/o

I think it's best if I warn you of a few things first

Both of these mf are hopeless romantics

Ira is the biggest simp in the house

And Ezekiel loves to cause problems on purpose

You can guess they're gonna be all over you, intentionally or not

Ezekiel is a bit competitive, so he sees Ira being a simp and doing stuff for you, he takes it as competition

While Ira's just clueless about what Ezekiel's trying to do

Both make it obvious they like you, Ira accidentally though

Both think your boldness is badass, specially Ezekiel

When get your act on Mervill or Max, Ezekiel is always there, he loves the tea and joins you sometimes

Ira's the one trying to get you to stop before one of them gets physical

Ezekiel has some of your best quotes written in a book in his room, he uses them from time to time

I.e. "you feeling froggy? Leap then, you won't." -S/o after Merv said he didn't have all day for their bullshit

There was one time you were nowhere to be seen, the statues searched the whole mansion and maze, only to look up from the outside and see you at the very top of the roof with Marshall, drinking your favorite beverage while you both where joking and talking about life

And lemme tell you that Manor's T A L L, and you weren't even nervous in the slightest

The relief in Ira was so big you have no idea, Ezekiel was the same but he was a tad bit jealous that you where there with Marshall

Ira always tries to help the mortals leave the nightmare, and Ezekiel refuses to kill, so he'll be the one spending the most time with you

Both are masters of dates even though they never dated anyone, but they know exactly everything you like

Both are pretty great to cuddle with, specially Ira, he's always warm for some reason

Ira being taller than both of you(and stronger), he likes carrying you both around, his reasoning being that he wants to be stronger

Only you and Ira know what's under Ezekiel's mask

They think your fearlessness is so badass but there also kind of scared of you-

Like, Malak told them a bit about you, he said you weren't scared of the Monkeys or Agatha, and you sure as hell wasn't scared of them when you came in through the portal

You actually started complimenting everyone and flirting with them??

But you were so caught up in your pick up lines you died to the spikes and swinging axes a few times

Eventually you just stopped for a while, somehow trapping e v e r y o n e under your stare

And you weren't scared at all, just stared at them deadpan sitting on one of the couches like a monarch

You did get bored after a bit, so you just yawned got up and left, while keeping them stuck in place

It was so confusing for most of them, while others *cough* Henry and William *cough cough* were laughing their asses off

They love and fear you lmao

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[mc-critical]

your analysis of selim? i think he's hated way more than he deserves. hating him for valid reasons is fine but telling that he's gonna be such a bad sultan is really stupid [and especially because only now do they bring out history & say selim was bad which is historically inaccurate as well]. out of all of suleyman's sons, it was only mustafa who was loved by all & talented [show only cuz apparently mehmet was also extremely talented & selim wasn't a bad sultan] enough for the throne. bayezid was extremely hotheaded and you can't tell me that a prince who can't control his emotions, especially in front of state officials, will be a good sultan. everyone tells selim was extremely selfish & the instigator of all their fights, when they were younger & older. siblings are always like that?? mustafa obviously wasn't like that because he was way older than mehmet, mihrimah, selim, bayezid & cihangir to get into stupid fights w/ them. mehmet & mihrimah had frequent & annoying arguments because they were closer in age. selim & bayezid had frequent fights because they were closer in age. this is a thing with many siblings; the elder provoking the younger & the younger disrespecting the elder. why do people point out their sibling fights as evidence for selim's personality? i feel sorry for bayezid as a kid but i feel less remorse for him as he's older. i don't say he deserves execution, especially at the hands of his own father, but he did rebel against his father's order & then proceeded to flee to another empire; like, the punishment for that is execution, what did he expect after rebelling? i feel extremely sorry for all his sons though, they didn't deserve this fate when they were just victims of their father's rebellion. also, unpopular opinion but bayezid is lowkey overrated pls don't cancel me i love him but he's annoying at times like all characters & no one really acknowledges it back to selim, he was honestly very underrated. he was really slandered in the series and he didn't have any real support w/ him until nurbanu & sokollu. although hurrem did vouch for him to go to manisa, it was literally only because he was 'peaceful' [we can read that as untalented as well] and no harm would reach him because he wasn't a threat [i actually really liked this plan of hurrem's, tough & clever; only if she was actually supported in this]. even mihrimah, till the end, is quite unfair to him. he had a problem w/ alcohol & people telling him to just stop? like, it doesn't work that way? people have to suffer so much in order to stop their addictions & they're actually restricted from their addictions; selim was a prince, no one around him could restrict him [his parents could but they weren't w/ him in his provinces]. he did become politically active w/ nurbanu's growing ambitions & he took smarter, more cunning & dirtier measures than bayezid to win the throne. the battle for the throne was bloody; resorting to honour like mustafa did was obviously not the best decision & people insult selim for being cunning enough [or being influenced by cunning people] to win the throne. let's also keep in mind that selim didn't even have much of an interest for the throne until manisa & nurbanu. i also like his relationship w/ nurbanu. it paralleled suleyman & hurrem's w/ the concubine arcs but selim did end up being monogamous to her in the show. their chemistry was fantastic [props to engin & merve for their acting] and although i don't really enjoy the 'a woman makes a man strong & influences him in everything; good or evil' kind of take, i did enjoy their relationship [he also sometimes looked at her like she was this ethereal type miracle, appropriately so w/ her courage]. i like what the show did w/ bayezid's execution a lot, the whole scene was such a wonderful cinematic experience; the music, bayezid's agonizing screams, his sons falling one by one, selim crying because he didn't want it to end up this way, bayezid falling & his screams ceasing, selim's heartbroken face because he was always a soft person & he always loved bayezid;

ahh, what a scene, so much love for it. anyway, that's just my opinion; i think he's hated way more than he deserves, especially in comparison to other characters & he's actually one of my most favourite characters from s4 [but i honestly love all characters w/ their good & bad, mc has many complex characters & i live for it]. what do you think about selim? sorry if you got annoyed at the long ask, i can get really heated when talking about selim [especially in reference to his historical figure], hope you don't mind if❤ [if it is annoying i'll stop it]

(okay, I'll talk strictly about the show, since I don't feel like delving deep into historical waters. There is still stuff we don't know for sure and I do want to keep the line between show and history in my head, except for the similar themes.)

While he isn't particularly my favorite character, I appreciate MC Selim and he is a very interesting subject when it comes to analyzing him. I'm actually amazed with what the show did with him in the span of a season (and something, counting some S02B and S03B moments) - he was one of the most fleshed out characters in S04 and we could get a clear picture as to why he does what he does.

Some people consider his debut to be an insult, for it immediately showed some of his weaknesses, putting him in a bad light right out of the gate. But all I can see in this debut is a showcase of his predicament of the prince no one sees as a capable heir of the throne. It’s as if he sleeps with women and drinks as a coping mechanism he’s delved into, with Mihrimah having to do effort to snap him out of it. The Selim we see in the beginning of S04 is a hopeless person. He doesn’t have dreams and ambitions, it’s as if he’s a already a lost cause and he has no one to truly support him. Even Hürrem wanted to send him to Manisa not because she deemed him as worthy, but to use him as a shield in order to deceive her enemies and protect the actual favorite. That may seem like a clever plan, but in actuality, it failed spectacularly - not only did her enemies not get confused for a second and didn’t attack Selim at all, but she forgot to tell Bayezid why she did it and made Selim confused to the point of demotivation, because none of his brothers were truly happy with this decision and they were all opposing it, directly and indirectly. And while he may not show it that much, because of his more composed and pragmatic nature, Selim is sensitive to the opinions of his brothers and the people around him and their prevailing disapproval may be a part of why he became so different than the rest. It’s like no one wanted to get to know him.

Nurbanu’s entrance in Selim’s life is very cathartic in this aspect, for she actually worked with him and gave him the needed motivation and ambition to fight, awaking sides of him that were dormant for a long time. And yes, I do think that Selim’s pragmatism is something he always had, if the whole arrow incident in S03B where he sabotaged Bayezid’s arrow, which caused him to lose is any indication. 

{I don’t think that the quarrels Selim and Bayezid had when they were little are so much indicators of Selim’s personality as they are foreshadowing of their future conflict. Right, these quarrels are normal for siblings and Mehmet and Mihrimah also fought like that (heck, even little Mehmet and Mustafa had a fight once in S01 and that fight was used as the conflict of the remainder of that one episode), but they weren’t as frequent as the ones of Selim and Bayezid. I don’t know, it’s just the atmosphere of these scenes was different and hinted at something more. It could be because we know the historical events and we could see every tiniest bit of early sibling rivalry between them as build-up, but still, I always felt there just was something else. Like the whole arrow incident I mentioned, a presumably harmless little situation gains a whole other meaning later on. It sets up neatly S��leiman’s opinions of both of them (his reaction to apparent disobedience and the making of a scene by someone he doesn’t expect to, by which I mean Bayezid), Hürrem’s retroactive ignorance of a possible bigger enmity and the roots of the whole conflict. It’s not Selim deciding to sabotage Bayezid’s performance as a last resort, maybe knowing that he surely won’t do better than his brother (doing a pretty typical ,,prank’’ for a little, naughty kid) that is exemplary of his cunning later, it’s his validation and him getting away with it that eventually becomes it, just like how he ends up getting away with stuff in the next season. Selim definetly isn’t the instigator of all the fights, especially because Bayezid, thanks to his more impulsive nature, is much more likely to start a fight in the first place and contrasts to Selim’s overall better composure. Provokations among them were mutual and both were consistently throwing darts at each other, one after another. Their conflict is a very nuanced issue: while people try to play right and wrong, both sides were at fault one way or another. The conflict between them is mostly caused by insensitivity, favoritism and ignorance and the desperation of both to try to prove themselves to their parents and win their support, at the end of the day. Why did they always calm down in front of their mother? Not only because of their joint respect for her, but also because of these same attempts to earn her support. Even Bayezid, who obviously had to be sure of her support, wasn’t completely certain of it after Hurrem turned it on Selim for a while. Selim, on the other hand, obviously never felt her support, it’s like something was missing right from the start. Combine that with their completely opposing personalities and the whole system encouraging competition for the throne and there you have the inevitable ultimate conclusion. That’s why I also love the set-up, the pay-off and the aftermath of Bayezid’s execution. It may be historically inaccurate that Selim, not Süleiman, executed Bayezid, but when you think about it, it was the most logical thing that could’ve happened, ending their conflict with a heart-wrenching bow. I love the scene of the execution itself, too - the action, the dialogue, the direction, the character moments, the themes... I don’t know whether Selim loved Bayezid by that point, per say, after all they went through, but it was clear that he knew that he had to do it, that it couldn’t have ended any other way, but he was broken over it. He was aware that it was, ultimately, a sin, which would continue haunting him. He couldn’t catch a break afterwards, he couldn’t stop. All was solved, but at what cost?}

I love his dynamic with Nurbanu - they balanced each other off so well, their chemistry was amazing, such a power couple. Nurbanu’s biggest contribution is hiding some of his flaws and mobilizing him to fight. Her cold pragmatism ,,grounds’’ Selim’s softer side, she’s there to always remind him of the stakes of the game and to shut off the last ounces of his vulnerabilities after Hurrem died. He sure is influenced by her, but that doesn’t mean that he blindly takes her word for everything - he is always ready to call her out when necessary and assure her that there are lines she shouldn’t cross. Despite of her pleas, he kept having affairs with other women (that is honestly a trend with all the men of the show, but still..), he got mad at her after what happened to Huricihan and most notably, after he found out that she possibly stole his mother’s ring. A part of why their dynamic works so well is precisely this strenght of character and their awesome compatibility. 

I have heard affirmations that Selim doesn’t care about Mustafa, which... simply isn’t true? While they have the least scenes together and Selim is the one that considers him most as a rival and his most dangerous competitor for the throne (which would explain his startled reaction after Musti saved him from the janissary), it’s precisely Mustafa’s death that is the turning point of his character arc. He was upping his game slowly but surely and before then, but he didn’t do much in terms of attacks. Neither Selim, nor Nurbanu once considered attacking Mustafa, the supposed biggest danger to them, which I find respectable and admirable. The bomb with the death drops and then every hope about a fair game is abandoned. Selim gets the realization that being honorable won’t work. The only way to win is bend the system and play dirty. There’s no time for sitting around or looking nice. And even though Nurbanu realized this, too, as well as Selim, Nurbanu was always more inclined to act this way than him and now the righteousness of her methods were only getting confirmed. It was Selim that had to reach this end. Discovering that he is no longer allowed to show any kind of weakness. Every chance that appears on the horizon, he’ll take it. That brings him to his first true dirty plan - the trap he set through the fake Mustafa rebellion.

Speaking of which, the worst deed of Selim’s for me is connected to that rebellion. I know I may be very biased in this regard, since it affects my personal favorite character and isn’t as recalled as others, but I hated when, in Selim and Sokollu’s attempts to wash their hands from the pulled off stunt, Sokollu, his man, told SS that Mahidevran was giving money to the rebellion. Okay, it’s not said outright whether is this directly tied to Selim or it was something Sokollu himself came up with out of desperation or something (though it was hinted that both thought something through in a scene where both were saying that they should come clean out of this all somehow) and it’s not outrightly confirmed whether Mahidevran gave the money or not (I highly doubt she did it; not only because it would destroy her whole S04 arc and she would become, well... MCK Gulbahar, but also because after the messenger told her of her alleged blame in E129, her eyes widened in surprise.), but all it does is be the only explicit case where Selim indeed looks bad, for his proposal to return Mahidevran in the castle doesn’t seem to stem from genuine guilt and remorse, but rather a late and empty attempt to placate his own conscience. Oh, not to mention (for the upteenth time, sorry in advance) how the scene back in E58 where Hurrem tells Mahidevran that her kids will be there taking care for her when she’s alone, which was treated as some big foreshadowing in the show, as well, by both the voice of the S02B narrative and the fandom alike, loses its value even more with that framing, because Selim and Sokollu themselves brought her to this state in the first place!!! Despite it making sense anyway, it’s still such a disservice to Selim as a person both inside and outside of the writing. 

One aspect of Selim’s pragmatism I find most interesting is his ability to turn his enemies into allies, knowing exactly how to amass them and get them on his side, be it through giving them more money and promising them the world. These alliances are all opportunistic in nature and may not be as loyal as those of Mustafa’s or of Mustafa’s people (like Atmaca) with Bayezid, but I think Selim knows this and wants to keep them steady enough for the common goal. As for what kind of a padisah he’ll be.... I believe that state matters would be the least of his concerns, since he was shown to not care so much about them, compared to his other brothers (but then again, the show itself doesn’t put the political capability of the princes at center stage - their personal virtues are always the determining factor of what makes a good padisah and what doesn’t, more of a psychological outlook, if you will.) and he perhaps won’t plan as many campaigns or conquer as many territories, maybe he won’t be that successful at all, but his cunning would bring him advantage in front of his people, he will be at least a bit careful of who he’s choosing and won’t simply lose it in front of everyone, compared to Bayezid’s impulsive temper.

[I love Bayezid as a character, but the shadier aspects of his personality sure tend to be overlooked. While his anger is directed mainly at Selim and Suleiman, it often reaches such extremes to the point it becomes destructive and affects everyone. He doesn’t deserve his execution at all and most of his actions stem from a very sympathetic place, given how SS never truly gave him a chance and he went on the inevitable path, because he, just like Selim, realized that honor won’t work in this war, but took the opposite approach from Mustafa, direct rebellion. And predictably, both approaches didn’t work since Bayezid, too, was taken advantage of. While he didn’t get justice, the lead-up to his execution is a character arc of his and there are many reasons and events linking it all together and showing us why it took place the way it did.]

Selim’s dynamic with Suleiman is proof of how you can be presumably favored, but you have to work to get there. The reasons Suleiman favored him are very telling and sad and we see that he also doesn’t favor him because of any and all capabilities he may have, but because of his self-imposed distorted view of loyalty Selim has to do a lot to preserve, actually. He constantly has to make it so it looks like he’s loyal and obedient and doesn’t work behind his back. He doesn’t get the fullest appreciation from his father, as well, and I certainly feel it impacts him, in a way.

I agree that Mihrimah could be unfair to Selim. They weren’t that close and she had this open preference to Bayezid. Most annoyingly is when, in their confrontation in E139, which highlights even more their parallel sins, Mihrimah doesn’t seem to face that sin of hers when Selim calls her out on it. She has a reason to deeply resent him after what he did to Bayezid, but was offended when he reminded her of the crime she also committed. More solidarity on that front would be a bit better, at least a hint of like recognizing like even for a moment. (but maybe then her scene with Mahidevran later wouldn’t be as impactful? Huh.)

And lastly, about his drinking - Nurbanu tried to restrict him, but it’s true that such habits aren’t easy to give up on, especially knowing how his drinking is a coping mechanism as much as it is something he enjoys. He knows he shouldn’t do it, he’s told he shouldn’t do it, but he can’t help it. He doesn’t drink when he’s planning or scheming, but he keeps on doing it more and more with every problematic action of his. It’s an attempt to supress his otherwise strong conscience to the max, seeing how after his brother’s execution he apparently always took a drink when he was alone at night, fighting an inner conflict with himself. I don’t think there was a way he could stop doing it permanently in the show. It was a part of who he was, unfortunately or not. 

[kingfallsamtranscripts2]

King Falls AM Episode Twenty-One: Swimmin’ With Kingsie

King Falls AM Transcript

Episode 21: Swimmin’ With Kingsie

Run time: 23:38

First Aired: Mar 1, 2016

Summary: Reverend Xavier Hawthorne unveils his newest plan for King Falls and the boys get a worrisome call from Lake Hatchenaw.

(For a list of characters and references from this episode see the end of this post)

[King Falls AM theme plays, transitioning into mildly creepy piano music]

Commercial: Sometimes in life things don’t go as we have all planned. Sometimes in life it’s easy to get discouraged when plans change. Do you get discouraged when plans change? We don’t. I’m Leland Hill of the Science Institute. Perhaps you’ve heard of us because of the help we do for families and people in need. Locally, globally, internationally. Or maybe you’ve only heard of us because of the suppressive media attacking myself, Science Institute founder Roland Northwoods, and other Science Institute alumni. Or maybe you’re just lost and looking for help in the dark and scary world. Possibly your inner consciousness is reaching out into the unknown, looking for answers. Why are we here? What’s the meaning of life? Why is a medium drink the size of a small bucket at fast food restaurants? Whatever you seek, just know, the Science Institute can help you. We want to help you. We will help you. We are here, King Falls. 

[King Falls theme plays]

Sammy: The Science Institute? Really?

Ben: Keeps the lights on, Sammy.

Sammy: You’d think they could get one of their Hollywood brainwashed pals to at least read their propaganda instead of the ghoulish Leland Hill.

Ben: He does give me the willies but he is also paying the bills!

Sammy: Absolutely! And I’m sure the advertisement budget he’s paying Merv is a drop in the bucket compared to that old compound they’re finishing on Old Bombing Range Road.

Ben: I can see that you are trying your hardest to stay on their good side, Sammy, but let’s stay on track here.

Sammy: (laughs) You got it, we absolutely can, and should, keep it on the rails, I’m sorry. 

Ben: Ooh, that’s the hot-line right on time. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the good Reverend Xavier Hawthorne calling in to tell us about his new venture as well as hopefully taking calls from you lovely listeners!

Sammy: New venture? Did God start paying less?

Ben: (Clearing his throat) Good evening, Reverend Hawthorne! Thank you so much for working us into your busy schedule.

[Reverend Hawthorne dramatic organ intro music]

Deacon Reggie: Ladies and gentlemen of King Falls, please put your hands together, get those hands a clapping, like the girls asses be clappin’ up in the club, put' em together for the one, the only, Reverend… Xavier… get right with Goooood, Hawthorne! Deacon Reggie, out! (Sound of a high five) Go get ‘em, brother.

Hawthorne: (very quietly) Oh Deacon Reggie, thank you so much for that lovely introduction! Appreciate you, fam!

Sammy: Hi, Reverend Hawthorne… and Deacon Reggie.

Hawthorne: Reggie can’t hear ya, he’s going back to his bunk on the bus. He’s got the gift of God though, don’t he?

Ben: That he does! How are you doing this evening, Reverend?

Reverend: Blessed to be here, Benjamin, Samuel. Gentlemen, how are you doing tonight? I said, how are you doing?

Ben: We’re… we’re well.

Sammy: (Laughing) Not too shabby. H-how are you?

Reverend: Very well, very well indeed. I’m sorry it took so long to get this calling to happen. I’ve been a busy, busy man of God these days.

Ben: Indeed you have, Reverend. Is the tent revival business still going well?

Reverend: Where there are sinners there is always a need for salvation. And where there is salvation, there is Reverend Xavier get right with God Hawthorne’s stomping out the devil revival. You got to stomp out that nasty devil! Just stomp him out!

Sammy: You know, you should have that on t-shirts.

Reverend: Already do! Nineteen ninety-nine each or two for forty dollars. You have a keen eye for marketing, Samuel, a keen eye.

Sammy: Reverend Hawthorne, there was mention of you in the King Falls Gazette a week or two back about you possibly settling down in King Falls. Is there any merit to that claim?

Reverend: Now Samuel, I hate to speak out of turn, but let me just say that good things come to those who wait. And good old Xavier has been a waiting a long time to find a parish to call his own. And glory be I think we might have struck a deal at the King Falls First Old Baptist Church!

Ben: Oh wow, so that would-

Reverend: Can I get an amen, brothers?

Ben: A...men?

Reverend: Our prayers have been answered! Just as soon as the check clears the bank…

Sammy: So you signed a deal that would keep the road show-

Reverend: Ah! Stomping out the devil revival!

Sammy: Stomping out the devil revival with a permanent home in King Falls?

Reverend: Well, we’d still tour. That sneaky devil is always popping his head up where he shouldn’t. The ultimate game of wack-a-mole. And you’d better believe we’ll be there to whack him down every time! Every time, devil! Whack-whack-whack!

Sammy: But…

Reverend: But yes, we will have the church as our home base. Praise be!

Ben: Isn’t the First Old Baptist Church a little… what’s a good way to say this… 

Reverend: Oh it’s a sinkhole waiting to happen! But that’s where we come in, Benjamin. We’re going to raise some money from the good folks of King Falls, and we’re going to build that cheeple steeple into the megachurch that the Holy Trinity, that the town of King Falls, and Xavier Hawthorne deserves! 

Sammy: Huh.

Ben: A megachurch? Those are like stadium size churches, right? How will that ever fit on the corner lot First Baptist is on now?

Reverend: Where there is a God’s will, well don’t you know, there's an entrepreneurial way. Eclesiastes 1, 5 through 7.

Sammy: Now Reverend, for those residents who don’t go to church, but would still like to know that they’re helping an institution that will help out their fellow man-

Reverend: I hear the doubt in you, Samuel! And it is strong. And it is scary. I don’t want to go Yoda on you, but you don’t want none of the dark side funk on your everlasting soul, son!

Sammy: Right. Back to the question, I’m assuming that the church will be actively putting money and good will back into the town. Is that correct?

Reverend: You’d better believe it, Sammy. But there’s no other reason to do it than to help out all of God’s children.

Sammy: Some more than others? 

Reverend: We’ll be doing outreach programs, food for the needy, clothes for the poor. We’re working on a deal to rent out the old dilapidated putt-putt place right next to the church as well.

Ben: Oh man! Sir Putts-a-Lot? That was the place to go back when I was in middle school!

Reverend: Sadly, I don’t think it’s seen many good years since then. But we’re going to try to refurbish and reopen as a money making venture for the folks, like you’re speaking of, Sammy, that don’t do church. Now, we’ll be Christian themed, but it’ll still be fun for the non-believers.

Ben: Oh man, I can’t wait. Sammy, the eight hole at Sir Putts-a-Lot was-

Reverend: (Loudly) Glory Holes!

Ben and Sammy: What?!

Reverend: Glory Holes- mini golf for a mighty God. We opened one in Tuscaloosa back in 2013. It’s a proverbial gold mine for God.

Ben: Okay, well that’s… that’s an interesting choice of words.

Sammy: (laughing) I can’t wait to go to Glory Holes! Do you have an approximate grand opening date? You know, that’s something that should be marked on every calendar in town. I’d like to mark it on every calendar in town, actually.

Reverend: As I’ve said, checks have to clear, hands need to be shaken, and prayers need to be answered. We’ll see, but it should be sooner than later, boys.

Sammy: I had questions, but you know what… I can’t follow that. 

Ben: Reverend, would you mind sticking around and taking some calls with us?

Reverend: Absolutely! Anything to spread the good word and the gospel.

Sammy: You heard Xavier’s story, kids, now let’s hear yours. Give us a call at the studio, (424)279-358.

Ben: Uh, before we go to the phone lines! Does God ever, like, intervene in matters of the… heart?

Sammy: Ben.

Ben: You know what I mean. Rev, like, if a boy likes a girl, but the boy made a real righteous ass- excuse my language- out of himself to save the girl from another boy’s affections… creepy, creepy affections?

Sammy: This sounds familiar, Ben. Is this anybody we know?

Ben: I’m asking for a friend.

Sammy: Right.

Ben: So, Reverend, I- I don’t really know how this works, like, if my friend, uh, prays really hard will he-

Sammy: Tilt the odds in his favor.

Ben: Exactly!

Reverend: You know, Benjamin, I think it starts with having a personal relationship with your lord and savior, Jesus Christ, and then feeling it out from there.

Sammy: I think it works for wars and football teams all the time. Give it a shot, Ben.

Ben: Can’t hurt, right?

Sammy: The phone lines are lit up, Buddy.

Ben: Right, uh, right. Heh, we can talk about that later, Rev.

Sammy: Lucky line one, you’re on King Falls AM with the Reverend Xavier get right with God Hawthorne.

Caller: Hey, Sammy. Hey, Ben. Hey, Rev.

Sammy: Ron Begley! How are you doing, sir? Long time no talk!

Ron: Doing just fine, Sammy! Just fine!

Ben: Do you have a question for Reverend Hawthorne?

Ron: Sure thing. Now, Reverend Hawthorne, what would the going rate be to rent old Glory Holes for a private putting party? I got an ex-life partner Bruce looking for a place to get hitched to his fiance, Larry, who happens to be a golf pro.

Reverend: Whoa, now!

Ron: Hello?

Reverend: I’m sorry, Bruce and Larry?

Ron: Yeah! Do you know ‘em? They’re all kinds of religious.

Reverend: You know, I have to get with our finance manager. There’s a lot of moving pieces and- what was it- do y’all hear that? It’s God. He’s a calling me. I got him on the spiritual speed dial. I think I’m losing you, fellas. Let’s chat about-

[The sound of a phone hanging up cuts off the rest of what the Reverend is saying.]

Ron: Hahaha, works every time.

Sammy: I’m guessing there is no Bruce or Larry. 

Ron: Hell yeah there is! And I really wanna rent out a putt-putt place named Glory Holes for the reception, but I didn’t figure that stuffed pudgery would talk about it.

Sammy: I think you’re correct.

Ben: How’ve you been, Ron?

Ron: Uh I can’t complain. But I do anyway. All’s well at the bait shop.

Sammy: And how is, uh… you know.

Ben: Just say it, Sammy!

Ron: You can do it, Sammy! How is who?

Sammy: Oh fine! How is Kingsey the lake monster doing?

Ron: All right! That’s what I’m talking about.

Ben: You did it, buddy. I’m proud of you!

Sammy: Oh, whatever. Saying is not believing, guys.

Ron: One important step closer. She’s doing just fine, by the way. But I gotta tell you, I’ve seen Kingsie more now than I ever have before. Seems like anytime I’m on the lake Kingsie comes right on up. No fear in her at all. It’s the damnedest thing.

Ben: That’s strange, Ron. Wasn’t it just a few months back that you had people out on the lake hunting her almost?

Ron: Yeah I don’t get it. You’d think she’d be more scared of the boat and the people but I’ve seen her visiting boats with my own eyes! I don’t like it.

Sammy: So no more trouble with trespassers, then?

Ron: Not a lick of trouble! I fixed those lousy poaching' sons of whores good!

Sammy: Do we even want to know?

Ron: Let’s just say I might have put some buckshot to some behinds!

Sammy: I’m not touching that one.

Ron: (laughs) That’s what he said.

Sammy: I don’t know if…

Ron: It works, Sammy! Trust me.

Sammy: I’ll just make a mental note not to be out on the lake looking for trouble.

Ben: So uh if you didn’t have a question for the Reverend, what’s going on then, Ron?

Ron: What, a guy can’t call his radio buddies to chat? Isn’t this talk radio?

Ben: Of course! I’m just-

Ron: I’m just messing with you, Ben! I actually do have a topic of discussion for both of you. A bone to pick, if you will.

Sammy: Oh wow, let’s hear it!

Ron: Well it seems that damn near every time I turn on 660 AM you two ruffians are fighting with somebody or getting tossed out of public places. I’d be proud you boys are about to level up your man cards! But I’m a little offended you didn’t come to me for help.

Sammy: With the fighting and getting kicked out of places.

Ron: I’m only partially busting balls here, but it’s partially serious too. You fellas with your fighting, as hot as it may be, ain’t the best for you or us who like listening.

Ben: Let it be known, I was not fighting! I am not a fighter.

Sammy: No, you were sabatoshing and throwing hush puppies!

Ben: Whatever, it still wasn’t a fight!

Ron: Hell, I wouldn’t classify what Sammy the mirror was doing as fighting either, you have to land some strikes and grapples to be a fight! You gotta actually make your hand into a fist to be a fight! Looked like a springtime, fully clothed, roll in the hay! I’ve had dates rougher than that quote unquote fight.

Sammy: Well, uh, obviously, you know I let my emotions get the better of me and it went arye.

Ron: Oh, whatever, Sammy! Not everyone’s meant to be a warrior. What I’m trying to tell you both is you fellas just need to do your fighting over the radio airwaves. You keep the physicalities to the professionals! You’re a bright spot in a lot of people’s nights around here and we can’t have you getting thrown of the air for rabble rousing and half-assed MMAing the jackass mayor.

Sammy: I think I get what you’re saying and we appreciate it, Ron. Believe me we will keep fighting the good fight the only way we know how.

Ron: With your sweet little mouths.

Sammy: I was going to say minds, but sure.

Ron: Alright, fellas. I can hear my radio going off like a son of a b-(beep) in the shop. Better go see what kind of damn fool would be trying to get me in the middle of the night. Take it easy fellas.

[The phone hangs up]

Ben: He’s a trip.

Sammy: He’s something. Line nine you’re on with Sammy and Ben.

[Magical twinkling music starts]

Ben: Oh no, hang it up, Sammy!

Sammy: Wait, what is this?

Ben: Seriously dude, this is bad news. Just push the button and-

Sammy: Hello?

Caller: Oh hello!

Sammy: Hello? We’re here, you’re live with Sammy and Ben.

Ben: Come on!

Caller: Oh splendid! I do love listening to you two!

Ben: Oooh, hi, Gwendolyn.

Sammy: (Amused) You know this lady?

Ben: Unfortunately.

Gwendolyn: It’s Gwendolyn! You’re such a smart cookie, Ben Arnold. So unlike your trailer trash friend Troy!

Sammy: Whoa, ma’am! If you could please not address anybody like that, we’d appreciate it. Sorry, Troy.

Ben: Remember when I asked you to hang up?

Gwendolyn: (Sarcastically) Oh I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to offend your liberal sensibility! I’ll do my best to shackle my first amendment right to freedom of speech. We wouldn’t want to offend, now would we?

Sammy: Gwendolyn, was it?

Gwendolyn: Oh, it is, darling.

Ben: There’s more to her name, Sammy.

Gwendolyn: My, my, Ben I didn’t realize we were bringing proper titles into this conversation! How fancy. 

Sammy: Oh, like a duchess of York or a princess situation?

Gwendolyn: Well, you could say that.

Ben: (Clearing his throat) Gwendolyn the Racist Witch.

Gwendolyn: It’s like a choir of purebred school children singing when you say it like that, Ben. Now I do prefer Gwendolyn the Hateful, but…

Ben: But one shoe fits better than the other.

Sammy: Gwendolyn, if I may be so bold-

Gwendolyn: You may.

Sammy: Obviously I’m grasping most, if not all of your title, but I’m finding myself a little… hmm.

Ben: Sammy doesn’t believe in witches.

Sammy: That is correct.

Gwendolyn: How very sad! Were you an underprivileged child, Sammy? You sound at the very least like white middle class. Do you not know what a witch is?

Ben: Uh, no, he knows what witches are, he just doesn’t believe in them.

Gwendolyn: Well I don’t believe in Muslim presidents, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have one!

Ben: Ooh, told you to hang up, Sammy!

Sammy: Ma’am, I’m sorry, but if you don’t have a topic that isn’t-

Ben: Racist.

Sammy: Right. Then we’re going to have to let you go.

Gwendolyn: Oh, but I do have a topic, Sammy. I would never call in just to waste your resources like welfare on those-

Sammy: Gwendolyn! I’m not going to let you use this as a forum to spew venom and hatred! There are plenty of other AM radio stations that will let you do that, but we certainly will not.

Gwendolyn: Oooh, strong! Forceful! I like it! You have some aryan in you-

[The phone hangs up with another twinkling sound.]

Sammy: Nope! I tried, I just can’t do it.

Ben: Try living with that your entire childhood! She lived a block over from my mom. You should’ve heard the stuff she’d yell out at little league games!

Sammy: Is that where you learned most of your large vocabulary?

Ben: (Coughing) Hardly! No, uh, line two you’re on with Sammy and Ben.

[The sound of outside night noises (crickets and wind and frogs) begin]

Caller: Oh hiya, Ben. It’s Mr. Sheffield. 

Ben: Hey, Mr. Sheffield, how are you doing this evening?

Cecil: Oh I’m just swell. It’s just so good to hear a friendly voice. Let me ask you something, have you heard from Esther lately? I’ve been putting in those booty-calls but I haven't heard a thing back!

Ben: He isn’t talking about Esther Rollins, is he?

Sammy: Hi, Cecil, are you talking about Esther Rollins from Esther’s Sewing Corner?

Cecil: Ah, you betcha, bud!

Ben: We… I mean, he’s gotta know, right? She passed six months ago or so.

Another person in the background on the line: Damn it, can you hear me?

Sammy: I hate to be the one to tell you this-

Ben: Is that Herschel in the background?

Herschel: Hello!

Cecil: Oh, I know she passed, fellas! But she was still answering her secret number and moseying on over for the longest time!

Sammy: I- I’m sorry… what’s that, Cecil?

Herschel: Did you get those butternut f-(beep) on the phone yet, Cecil? Stop talking about banging a ghost! Is that the dumbass duo? Give me that!

Ben: Are you guys out together… looking for Esther?

Cecil: Oh no, I was just wondering about her and thought you boys were in the know and could help. Me and my best friend are out on the lake tonight and we’re fishing-

Herschel: Don’t tell ‘em, you no good penis wrinkle! This is Herschel F. Bomgardener’s find! Tryna take all my glory. Son of a (beep).

Cecil: I’m sorry. Hersch really wants to tell you guys something. Can you call me back though? About sweet old Esther...

Herschel: Oh Jesus, not one damn person in this town who wants to hear about Cecil Sheffield laying the old ghost post. I’m tired of hearing about it my damn self! You listening King Falls AM?

Sammy: Hi, Herschel.

Herschel: Well don’t sound so excited, Stevens. I’m just dropping the biggest old breaking news money shot all over your face. 

Ben: That’s an image! Uh, what can we do for you?

Herschel: Well for starters, how’s about kissing my ass? And don’t you take a tone!

Ben: There wasn’t a tone! I swear!

Herschel: I’ll never understand your generation. If I talked like that to my elders I’d never have made it past nine years of age! The damn factory foreman would have skinned my hide. 

Sammy: It sounded like Cecil was about to tell us something, and you mentioned breaking news? Is that correct?

Herschel: I’m getting to it! Damn it to hell, boys! Like I used to tell Edna; slow and steady wins the race. Better hurry up, though I’m about to fall asleep. 

Cecil: Hey, Herschel, I don’t think this is Kingsie...

Ben: Kingsie? Is something wrong with her?

Herschel: Do I look like doctor f-(beep) lake monster to you, Ben?

Sammy: What’s going on out there? I assume you two are out on Lake Hatchenaw? 

Herschel: That we are. Me and Cecil are out tonight trying out some new lewers. Real fancy stuff. 

Cecil: Hey, I’m sure this thing ain’t Kingsie, Hersch. 

Herschel: I f-(beep) heard you the first time, Cecil! Jesus Christ! Can’t you see I’m talking on the radio!

Cecil: Sorry, buddy.

Herschel: Ah if I had my gun I’d put that brain-dead dumbass out to pasture. Anywho… goddamn it, what the f-(beep) are we talking about? 

Ben: (Annoyed) You’re on the lake, testing lures.

Herschel: Right, uh, so we hit secret spots, and then, erm try to feel the Cecils out. And wouldn’t you know it, we found that old serpenty b-(beep) Kingsie, belly up.

Ben: What?! 

Herschel: Deader than Rock Hutchson’s affections for the ladies.

Ben: Oh man, I cannot believe that. This- This hurt. I gotta call Ron back.

Herschel: Ain’t no use calling that son of a b-(beep)! I was radioing on his bait shop the last twenty minutes to no avail! Figured he’d want to go out and say his goodbyes before Ray Chin comes out here and suzies her up real good.

Sammy: Ben, give Ron a call so he doesn’t hear about Kingsie like this.

Herschel: Ah she was a damn fine lake monster.

Cecil: (In the background) Herschel this ain’t Kingsie!

Herschel: Didn’t really mess with me and hecklewood, stayed out of my spots. I won’t miss her, but damn if I don’t salute her for knowing some boundaries. 

Cecil: Turn on your damn hearing aid! It’s not Kingsie!

Herschel: Oh, what now? I ain’t too old to dump you wrinkled ass right off the side of this boat.

Cecil: No! Give me the phone!

Sammy: Hey Ben, hold on a second.

Cecil: Hello? Is this Ben Arnold and his buddy? 

Herschel: (From the background) I let you have it you fardknocking old cuss. 

Sammy: You’re live, Cecil. Is what you found on the lake not Kingsie?

Herschel: Let me get a good look at this thing. Hey, shine the light over here, Cecil. Get a little closer.

Cecil: That light fell overboard in Kettleton Cove.

Herschel: G-(beep)-damn it! Watch your dirty cheating crumb catcher! You don’t know what kind of eavesdropping satellites are listening in to scout bots or the bass tourney. Mother f-(beep)!

Cecil: The light is gone, Herschel! Sorry.

Sammy: Fellas?

Herschel: Hey, this may not be Kingsie. Quit whistling f-(beep)-ing dixie and get us closer!

Sammy: It’s not Kingsie, Ben.

Ben: Ohhh thank goodness! What is it?

Herschel: Jesus, I think this is a dead body!

Sammy: It’s a dead body.

Ben: That’s much better than Kingsie… so young… WHAT?! Wait, what?! Again?!

Herschel: It’s all wrapped up in something. But it smells human to me. Pull over closer, Cecil. Jesus Christ, do I have to give you a haunted hanty to get closer to the g-(beep)-damn body?

Cecil: We’re going to go closer.

Sammy: Why don’t we let you guys go so you can call the sheriff’s office. 

Herschel: Eh, it’s so damn dark! Where’s my million candle lamp, you dumbass.

Ben: I’ll call the sheriff’s office. Where are you guys at on the lake?

Cecil: You know I can’t rightly tell you, Ben. Shhh, it’s a secret!

Ben: This is a little more important than the bass tournament, Mr. Sheffield!

Herschel: Don’t you tell ‘em! Tell those pansies to send the coppers to Begley’s. We’ll meet them there. Your big mouth has already broadcasted too much!

Ben: To Ron’s, got it. I’ll make the call, guys.

Cecil: Hey, what’s that noise? Do you hear that, Herschel?

Herschel: Sounds like they’re right over the treeline. We could shine the light if you hadn’t tossed it in the lake!

Cecil: Oh hush!

Herschel: Fifty nine ninety-nine at Sears and Roebuck. Don’t think you won’t replace it-

[There is a loud crashing sound like thunder]

Cecil: What the heck is that?!

Herschel: Well Charlie f-(beep)-ing foxtrot!

Sammy: What’s wrong, guys?

Cecil: Look at those lights… Oh, pretty colors… beautiful…

Sammy: Lights? Is it the UFOs?

Herschel: Gosh, those damn rainbow lights again. We’re not going to catch nary a f-(beep)-ing fish tonight. Son of a buttered up, biscuit eating b-(beep)!

[King Falls outro music and credits begin]

References:

Yoda: a fictional character from Star Wars known for his wisdom and fighting against the ‘dark side’

Glory holes: I’m sorry I’m not going to explain this one… If you’re over 18 feel free to look it up, if you are not please don’t.

MMA: Mixed martial arts

Rock Hutchson: A gay actor

Sears and Roebuck: department stores

Charlie foxtrot: military slang for a chaotic situation

Characters:

Sammy Stevens, Ben Arnold, Leland Hill, Deacon Reggie, Reverend Xavier Hawthorne, Ron Begley, Gwendolyn the Racist Witch, Cecil Sheffield, Herschel F. Bomgardener.

[wisdomrays]

TAFAKKUR: Part 423

BISHR B. HARITH

All human beings are fallible, liable to err and to sin. This is true of even the most revered saints. What is necessary is to cleanse oneself of all sins through repentance, asking forgiveness with remorse and a firm commitment not to sin again: Allah accepts the repentance of those who do evil in ignorance and repent soon afterwards; to them Allah will turn in mercy... (al-Nisa’, 4.17). There have been many people who committed great sins in their lives, but then repented so deeply and sought forgiveness with such sincerity that they could not take food and drink with ease (let alone with pleasure) on account of their grief for their past sins. Some sincere believers, like the Prophet Adam (peace be on him), were unable to raise their faces toward heaven, they felt such shame for what they had done. Since they regarded their faults as a sort of rebellion against Allah, their consciences were ravaged by the pangs they felt because of their fault and they became very alert to the possibility of a second lapse. The repentance of one who does not feel sorrow and remorse in the heart cannot be considered as true repentance. In fact, this saying of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, proves that this is really so: Repentance is remorse. Therefore, it is not the commission of sin that is odd but the failure to achieve a true repentance. Also, people should not be condemned for their past sins; rather, bearing in mind that the gates of Allah’s mercy and forgiveness are wide open to all, what should be weighed is their present life and their positive conduct.

Examples can be studied in the lives of the Successors of the Companions of the Prophet, upon him be peace, and the Successors of the Successors, of knowledge (‘ilm), virtue, good conduct and courtesy. One of these great individuals was Bishr bin Harith, born in the year 152 after the Hijra, in the village of Bekird or Mabersam in Merve. He was well- known by his patronymic Abu Nasr. Bishr was an alcoholic and incurable frequenter of taverns. One day, while walking, he noticed on the ground a piece of paper which had been trodden upon. He stopped, bent down and saw that the word Allah was written on it. He went to a shop and with his last money bought musk, amber and rosewater with which he cleansed the piece of paper. He then placed the paper away from where people’s feet might go, to express respect for the Name. That night, one of the saints of that time had a dream, in which he heard this: ‘Go and tell Bishr that he cleansed My Name with musk and amber and I cleansed his name and purified him from all. I swear by My Glory that I will make his name loved and ennobled in this world and in the world to come.’ The one who dreamt this had known Bishr very well, and was most surprised because, to the best of his knowledge. Bishr had done nothing so remarkable as to deserve such honour. He meditated a while and made wudu and then went back to sleep. The same event recurred three times, with the saint dreaming the same dream successively three times. He came to the conclusion that his dream must be a truthful one. The following day he set about looking for Bishr, and eventually located him in a tavern. He sent a man to fetch him out of the tavern. Bishr did not want to come out and asked why he should. The man said that the one calling him had a special message for him. Bishr still would not come out, now wanting to know who this special message was from. The man returned to Bishr from the saint with the explanation that the message was from Allah. This time Bishr did not want to come out because he feared that he was about to be rebuked by Allah. However, when the saint sent the assurance that Allah would not rebuke him but, on the contrary, had good news for him, Bishr decided to come out. Bcfore leaving the tavern, Bishr turned to the people in it and bid them farewell with the words: ‘The Friend and His friends have sent me an invitation. I am going and you will never again see me in such places. And yourselves also, I leave to Him.’

No one saw Bishr in such places again. His life of wretchedness was over. From that time on, even though he was thoroughly converted to a decent life and had renounced all bad habits, there was one thing he never left behind him. That was the shame and the feeling of accountability for his former life. He despised worldly pleasures, became most particular and subtle about everything, and vowed never to return to those days. Also, he was never again seen wearing any shoes. Asked why, he said: ‘When I decided to renounce my former life and vowed not to return to it I was barefoot. So, because of (the memory of) that I become ashamed lest I should break my promise and return to my former ways.’ Because he went barefoot, he earned the nickname of al-Hafi.

Later, Bishr moved to Baghdad, settled there and began studying Islamic sciences, attending the talks and lectures of many eminent scholars of the age. He then travelled to Makka, Kufa and Basra to study further and expand his knowledge.

He was extremely particular and sensitive about what is halal (lawful) and haram (forbidden). He avoided eating doubtful things to such an extent that he once drank sea water, in view of the slight chance that the money with which the sultan provided water free for the people might have been earned through injustice, oppression, or other Islamically unlawful ways. He turned a deaf ear to the call of his self (nafs) and suppressed it by contradicting it each time. Even though his nafs desired to eat meat, he did not eat any for forty years. In fact, he did not earn so much as to afford meat. He avoided eating sweets in order not to spoil his nafs. He spent his days in hunger or continual fasting. Against the advice of those who tried to persuade him to eat, he said ‘Hunger purifies the heart, quenches one’s lust and carnal desires. and inspires subtlety of thought and knowledge’. In this way he urged people to mildness of conduct, sweet temper and frugality.

Whatever he did, Bishr wanted to do it just to earn the pleasure of Allah and utterly shunned publicity. He never sought to justify himself or what he did in the eyes of others. On the contrary, in true humility, he considered himself as lower than others. He did not attach much importance to the worldly life and always criticized and disapproved of people who sought the favours of governors and sultans.

Bishr had great intelligence (‘aql) and wisdom. He never gossiped about or slandered people. One of the scholars of his time, Ibrahim Harbi, remarked that ‘Baghdad has not raised a man who was wiser and who defended his tongue from idle talk and slander better than Bishr. People observed him for fifty years and had not witnessed him slander any one. It was as if he had an intelligence for each hair on his head. I never saw a man so virtuous as Bishr’.

Bishr was profound in reflection and reasoning. He held that not to commit sins and not to be disrespectful towards Allah is only possible through reflection and judgement, and that believers should thank Allah profusely for their iman (faith), which is one of the greatest of His blessings. Bishr’s sister, Zubdah, recounted this incident: ‘My brother Bishr visited me one evening. He came up to the gate of the house. He opened it, put one foot inside, suddenly stopped and fell into reflection. He stood still there during the whole night one step in and one step out in deep contemplation. I waited for him to come inside, but he did not. When the dawn was breaking, I could not keep myself from asking what he reflected so seriously and profoundly upon. Bishr replied: “I have been thinking that there are Christians, Jews and Zoroastrians who also have the name Bishr. My name and theirs are the same, but I am a Muslim and enjoy the greatest blessing of belief in Allah while they do not. So what a great blessing it is! And what could befall them in the Hereafter who keep from such a blessing of Allah?”

Abd al-Rahman Abu Hatim narrates this from Bishr himself: ‘I saw the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, in my dream. He asked me, O Bishr! Do you know why Allah raised you to such a high rank among your equals? I said, I don’t know, O Messenger of Allah. And he said, Because you follow my Sunna, serve the cause of righteousness, give good counsel to your Muslim brethren, and love my Companions and Family.’

Bishr bin Harith passed away in Baghdad in the year 227 after the Hijra. Many eminent scholars have recorded that people set out to bury his body after the morning prayer but only reached the place of burial at the time of the night prayer (isha) because of the sheer numbers who came to pay their last respects to so sincere a brother of theirs. May the blessing of Allah be upon him and his equals!

Sufyan bin Muhammad al-Masisi narrates: ‘I saw Bishr in a dream after his death. I asked Bishr how Allah had treated him, He said, ‘Allah forgave me and made the half of Paradise halal (permissible) to me.’

[merverelli]

hey!!! this is now my about/taglist bc this website is messy:

carrd: https://merverelli.carrd.co/

i draw!! drawing tag is #just like art

i also talk!! talking tag is #i do this

sometimes i answer people!! ask tag is #askerelli

(all of these tags are tagged in this post!)

this blogs mainly abt letsplayers/youtubers, with some podcasts n general stuff thrown into it!!

also feel free to send asks!! (especially if you want something blacklisted/tagged)

thank you for reading i love you

[thenightling]

The Dreaming (2018) in a nut shell

Full plot of The Dreaming (2018 run).  This is copied and pasted from a Discord conversation because I didn’t feel like repeating myself...  That’s also why it’s a bit disjointed.

I'll explain the whole plot as best I can, bear with me. There's this monstress named Dora living in The Dreaming, and she's got a chip on her shoulder since Morpheus had once promised her she'd never have to be afraid ever again and that was shortly before The Kindly Ones.  Anyway, she's been haunting the dream of this woman dying of throat cancer (revealed to be Rose's mother).  Daniel goes MIA and doesn't seem to want to be found.

Suddenly these "blanks" generic looking humanoid enterities start pouring in from cracks in the dreaming.   Mervyn invents a racial slur for them of Soggies (totally not "wet backs").

While Daniel is gone Judge Gallows (another old DC horror host) takes over The Dreaming and promises to make The dreaming great again.

Dora befriends one of the blanks who is very child-like and names him Ziggy. Merv starts penning them up on behalf of Judge Gallows and even attempts to lynch Ziggy. 

Merv has a grudge.  Shortly before Judge Gallows took over Lucien used the helm to un-create Merv's friends right on the steps of the caslte and it was implied to be out of spite

("I did warn you." - said by Lucien).  It's a "They took our jobs" thing, apparently. The blanks are more efficient. No immigration metaphors here, nope.

Lucien is apparently slowly losing his mind / going senile.  He can't remember anything.   Eventually Judge Gallows gets defeated and replaced with this weird AI, yes an AI named Wan.   WAN, as it turns out was created by this character who looks suspiciously like Steve Jobs. Actual character name: Hyperion Keter.

Totally not Steve Jobs had a nightmare decades before where Dora was attacking him.  he had confronted her in the dream and told her she's not real.  This caused her to have an existential crisis and flee into The Dreaming where Morpheus had tended to her and sealed her own memories to protect her mind.  He also hid the newly re-created ruby dreamstone inside her to aid her until she no longer needed it.

Steve Jobs-Knock-off guy creates Wan with the intention of invading and conquering The dreaming.  He thinks all the ills of humanity come from dreams.  Greed, superstition, religious zealousness.   Oh, by the way, Judge Gallows heavily indicates that Morpheus caused the civil war and holocaust by creating him (Judge Gallows) to prey on man's fear of "The other". So anyway, while that was going on Daniel was playing human and dating Ivy. Steve Jobs sends some occultists to steal a lock of Ivy's hair to control her.  Ivy gets upset when Daniel won't let her tattoo him since she's a tattoo artist. (that's where I grew to hate her).  She doesn’t accept no means no with his bodily autonomy.  Daniel apologizes to her and proposes marriage.  He gives her an emerald ring.

The occultists (working out of Fawny Rig) control Ivy and she gives Daniel a dream catcher / tree of life tattoo that works as a geas to bar him from The Dreaming and prevent him from calling out for help.

Ivy tries to "apologize" by giving him a cup of tea but it turns out to be poisoned.   Desire (or what appears to be Desire, it might be posthumous Morpheus in disguise, the face is always partly hidden and he's very thin) warns Rose of what's going on and Rose slaps the drink from Daniel's hand but he's already had a taste.  Daniel, freaks the f--k out.

A dog walker eats his own fingers right there on the beach.   Someone screams until their vocal chords burst in their throat.  Daniel is maming and mutilating right and left (and this is NOT where those partiers were killed, that was earlier and said very nonchalantly during the dating montage.  Daniel made some drunk bachelor party guys who cat called Ivy walk into the ocean and drown...  I think he killed the entire party...)

Daniel finds the occultists and traps them all in terrible nightmare half-concious states but still weakened and unable to return to The Dreaming he goes to apologize to Ivy, knowing she was being controlled but it's too late, she's ODed and brain dead.

He takes her soul with him to flee to another universe.

Dora, meanwhile, gets a hold of Destruction's sword, briefly meets up with Nuala (who has learned Titania's true name thanks to Daniel stopping by for help with the fae).  Daniel gets the egg that Titania has from back during the original Books of Magic, this is the "Mundane Egg" able to open or create another universe.

Anyway, back in The Dreaming Wan (the AI) is trying to run things and doesn't know it has a secret dark side programming to destroy the place.

Wan legitimately wants to do good and blacks out when the other side takes over. An AI with a split personality. Wan talks Abel into taking the initiative and kill Cain...

Cain does not revive. Wan also digitizes the entire dreaming library because of Lucien's memory problems.   Lucien decides he wants to die.

Abel scooped out Matthew's eyes with a spoon and gives him his own eyes so Matthew can see what he sses, the secret that Wan is destroying The Dreaming. Matthew with giant human eyes sticking out of his tiny raven head, Abel (whose eyes grow back), and Dora, head out to save the dreaming.

Cain, meanwhile, his soul was uploaded into an AI at the home of Not-Steve Jobs. So he's there.  The heroes make their way there and learn the story of why things are happening.   Poor not-Steve Jobs was dying of cancer (this was really tasteless to model him after Steve jobs).  And Daniel briefly came to him, showing him what he was destroying in destroying The Dreaming,  Hyperion tried to set things right but his own minion stopped him.

Dora shows up and accidentally shuts down Steve's life support system. Rose gets told more exposition dump from "Desire" (I'm telling you, there are clues it's actually Morpheus) She hijacks a bus to get to Steve Jobs'  place. Here we discover the re-created ruby dream stone was inside Dora the whole time.  Lucien, meanwhile, had tried to be re-abosrbed into The Dreaming with the help of his dream friends (eve, Merv, etc).  And he has a brief visit with Death who introduces him to Steve Jobs and gives him a special book that has all of Lucien's lost memories. Dora returns to The dreaming with the dream stone, and her, Lucien, and the other dream folk are able to summon Daniel back, breaking the geas spell he was under (Ivy is left behind).

Dora is a Night Hag, by the way.   That was her big secret besides having the ruby in her. They kept harping on how special she was, that she wasn't like the others in the Dreaming. ...she was a Night hag, that's it.  They kept going on about her being special, this big secret, she's a night hag.  Eve delviers a line I cannot forgive.  She says something like "We were worried he only kept us around out of laziness or loneliness. We were wrong."  They were HAPPY they were there as a failsafe, as tools in case he got captured again in the waking world.  They would rather be tools than for someone to want them around out of loneliness?!  Daniel uncreates Wan but as Wan begns to fade the good side of Wan helps Daniel set things right and apologizes for its other personality. Daniel erases Rose's memory of the entire adventure (which I think is bullshit).  She lost her f--king daughter, you asshole!  And Lucien learns to be 'More assertive" and when Daniel requests he come to the throne room so he can thank them formally Lucien says no, because he's drinking with Dora.

"character growth" TM

 hated Simon's run of The Dreaming but not as much as I hate Caitlin R. Kiernan's. 

Dreaming Waking Hours is about a Nightmare named Ruin who escapes to the waking world because he's fallen in love with a mortal.   It's so much better but all the events of Simon's Dreaming are still canon so that's a problem. The villain being modeled after Steve Jobs even if he sees the error of his ways in the end was totally tasteless. My hands ache from writing all that out...

Oh, and Cain is back to normal (for him) he and Abel took turns in a sort of tag team tormenting the tech support for Wan, via nightmares. So they couldn't intervene in stopping the destruction of the AI. That was actually a fun scene. "There will be no tech support today." Cain shows up with a chainsaw.

Also the reason "not Steve Jobs" knew about Dream was because he found a journal from an occultist at a garage sale that described Morpheus' capture.

I think I'm still traumatized from reading it, especially the early issues where Merv was used as a Trump supporter allegory. And Abel did give Matthew back his normal raven eyes while they were in Steve Job's house.   Though don't ask me how Abel even did the initial eye surgery of putting his eyes in Matthew while he was blinded.  

Someone tried telling me Simon Spurrier wasn't trying for a Republican metaphor, he was making a commentary on the Tories How is that better?!?

It's still a very dated political reference.

[stan-denbrough]

When Stan is 5, he ha a pet goldfinch, that sits in a little brass cage and sings to him. He knows better than to let it out of its cage, but he wants it to sit on his finger so he can practice whistling back at it. It doesn’t live very long and Stan is of course devastated when it dies, but it teaches him an important lesson about mortality.  

When Stan is 10, he gets two parakeets. Stan is getting bigger, and he can handle pets that are a little larger. And Stan is fascinated by these exotic birds, and he watches them in their big cage day and night, and he cleans up after them and feeds them millet and tries teaching them to talk, but they don’t really care. They live until he gets into high school, and bitch the amount of depressed sighing Stan did at the end of 8th grade until Bill was like “What’s wrong Stan?” like are you kidding me??

Then Stan asks his parents if he can have a bird that lives a really long time, and they’re like “Uh... we’re not taking care of it when you go to college.” And Stan is like :( but they offer to get him more parakeets. However, one of Stan’s eccentric old neighbors happens to have a raven and Stan is like “How have I never known about this!” and the raven is only a few years old, already well trained, mischievous, and his owner is getting too old so he bequeaths him to Stan. And Stan’s parents are pissed but Stan spends all his time with the raven riding his shoulder, talking loudly, making lots of weird noises, demanding food and attention, and Stan loves him. He always carries chunks of raw meat in his pockets and the other Losers are impressed that Stan isn’t like, squealing about food born pathogens on his fingers. 

The raven’s name is Mervin by the way, Merv for short. Merv and Stan, going on adventures. Stan dresses a witch for Halloween and takes Merv with him. Like Stan is not just a bird boi, he’s that bird boi. He has a fucking familiar. He’s one step below horse girl.

Sadly, he can’t take Merv with him to college. So when the time comes Stan has to let him go. And when Stan comes home on break, for the first year at least, Merv flies down from the Barrens and sees him. But the next break he doesn’t, and Stan knows he didn’t survive. Even though ravens are smart, he was domesticated, and an owl probably ate him or something. 

By the time Stan is established in Georgia, he’s like “Fuck it, I want a pet who’ll outlive me.” And Patty is like “You want a tortoise dear?” And Stan doesn’t know why that sends a chill down his spine but he’s like “Uh-uh, I want an African Gray Parrot.”

Too bad Georgia has really strict exotic pet laws. But I mean like, the bitch is making 6 figures on top of Patty’s income, and let’s be real he’d get away with it. He wants a parrot that’ll live 80 years and who can learn even more words than a raven. I mean, Stan really wanted an owl but that’s totally illegal everywhere in America. Patty just thinks this is how Stan is coping with their infertility. 

He names the parrot Methuselah (not the most original name), because he hopes it’ll be speaking into the universe that this pet will live longer than 5 years, thanks. He tells Patty very often that he wants their eventual kids to inherit Methuselah after he dies. He says “This very good boy will outlive me, Patty, that’s a promise. I’m never going to watch another pet die.” 

Little does Stan know that yes, his parrot will very much outlive him. Though given what happens just a few years later, that’s not saying much. Oops!

[mervinamoonishere]

Courage

It's valentine's day at Hogwarts. And Rowan is very nervous.

In her hands, she holds what must be the most important piece of paper she has ever had to carry; except for maybe, her potions class notes that she almost forgot to review right before a test so she had to pick them up from class to her dorm and it was stressful and not relevant right now.

She's walking through the corridors with no real path, looking like quite the fool and feeling quite foolish whenever she'd peek through another corridor or an ajar door, or anywhere where a human could fit because truth be told she was looking for a human. A certain fair-haired girl with slanted gold eyes. Sorta hard to miss but Rowan's not a good thrower so she misses every damn time.

Mervina Moon is nowhere to be found. Rowan's been wandering the school like a lost puppy looking for her owner; which is a quite terrible metaphor, Mervina would never treat her like an animal but alas her mind isn't wired correctly today, no time to tire herself in trying to find 'perfect metaphors' for her current situations.

So, she's holding a card on valentine's day and she's searching for somebody. She's confessing feelings for somebody. The somebody is Mervina.

And Merlin's beard, she's nervous! So horribly nervous that the sound of shaking paper is slowly driving her mad but she can't will her hands to stop quivering.

Oh god, why did she think this was a good idea? Well, she's got no clue! Her brain hasn't been quite the same after Mervina's, well, sudden existence; she's lost sense, she's losing focus in class, she's always making tea now! She didn't do that before. She doesn't even like tea that much, it's Mervina that does.

In the middle of the dungeons' main corridor, she halts rather dramatically. She questions, 'Can you blame yourself, Rowan?'

It's sorta hard to not admire Mervina's calm nature, especially when Merula (quite childishly, might she add) confronted her all those years ago and all Merv did was alleviate the situation, to throw water into the fire to try to extinguish it. And right after, in potions class, oh how lost she was! She felt like she didn't understand much with Snape's glare-y attitude (and the whole bulbadox powder incident). All it took was a simple glance at Rowan and Mervina was already on her tail, discussing the techniques and answering all of Rowan's 27 questions - yes she counted - with a smile and patience.

She would always push Rowan behind her with an arm outstretched, protecting her from Merula, Peeves, literally any vaguely menacing magical creature, a falling student that one time (she did feel bad that her first instinct was to push Rowan away rather than helping the poor guy but Rowan just kind had a heart attack for completely platonic reasons).

And in year 3, when Rowan felt so left out and worthless compared to Mervina's new friends, everything fixed itself just as soon as it started because Mervina is ridiculously in tune with emotions, and if it weren't for Mervina's unshed tears, this wouldn't even be happening and not even friends they could be called.

Plus, how could Rowan forget all the stupid stuff Merv does. Mocking Snape right in his class, badly, even making Merula lose her composure. That one time Rowan had her wet hair all over her face, making her look, and she quotes 'Like a bloody Bloody Mary, Rowan! What the fuck, I almost peed myself- Stop laughing!'. That's her personal favorite, she's never forgetting that one.

Their everyday hugs. They're just... perfect. And warm.

Also that time they almost kissed in flying class. That was- yeah. She just lost balance when Merv came to her and they kinda sorta almost bumped heads and kissed. Yeah. That happened.

She's beet red by the time she's close to the courtyard, and she hugs her little card closer to her chest, her heart parkouring all over her ribcage like an emotionally traumatized teenager, with parental issues, that just needs a hobby to get away from their toxic domestic environments. Mervina has her version of rambling and Rowan always listens and she almost tripped on a ridiculously small rock, honestly, she should watch where she's going instead of talking to herself about Mervina and not talk to her about her. 

Ah yes, eloquence.

--------------------------------------------------------------

If it had been any other day of the year, she'd be the laugh of the school. Luckily it's valentine's day, so carrying around a bouquet doesn't look as outrageous as it should.

Mervina had thought long and hard about this. Rowan has always been easier to get close to, she's affectionate, caring, and just lovely. Merula is very different. She couldn't even begin to think about giving Merula anything on valentine's day. She settled on just being friendly and hoping she'd get the hint. She's still not sure if she did but she looked embarrassed enough, so. She must've gotten something. 

Now, Rowan, she knew what to get. Flowers were always a favorite of Rowan, being a huge nerd of their meanings and such. It's perfect! She didn't even spend hours researching flower meanings and avoiding roses like the plague since Rowan doesn't like them, losing countless hours and money buying them only to then worry about them rotting when the day did come.

Was it worth it? Well, she doesn't know. The flowers are cute and all but if Rowan doesn't reciprocate her feelings then... what was she going to do?

It didn't help that everybody kept pairing up Merv with her two crushes. With Rowan is 'You guys are so cute!' and with Merula is 'Your chemistry is ridiculous!' and it would worsen whenever they'd hear them; Rowan got so embarrassed Merv feared she was uncomfortable, and Merula got so angry she feared there was no chemistry at all, just hate.

So, it poses the question: 'Does Rowan like her back, or are they just friends? Does she blush because she's flustered or incredibly embarrassed?'

For such a colorful bouquet, Merv did look like a storming cloud walking around the training grounds. She's never felt so lost, not in this sense anyway.

It's just- Rowan's so friendly, always so kind. She's a true friend, through and through. Right from the start, no matter what acclaimed weirdness she always talked about, Rowan's so easy to talk to and so eager. She's smart, stupid smart. Trouble with words? Ask Rowan, she sure will know something. Problem in charms class? Or maybe transfiguration? Well, guess what? Rowan Khanna exists! Thank goodness for that.

Her tie's always messy, no matter how many times she's taught Rowan how to do it. And when she's excited she flails her arms around, her robe sleeves flapping everywhere.

Oh and that time they almost kissed during flying class. Rowan never mentions it. Merv's too cowardly to do it either. It just sits there, like a big smug elephant in the room.

By the time she reaches the courtyard, it's sunset, which is stupidly romantic and as Mervina turns around to leave she spots familiar dark locks.

---------------------------------------------------------------

By this time, they're in their fourth year. They're not adults in any way but they're not children either. Still, the moment they even get a glimpse of each other, they hide their presents behind their backs, a comical action, almost cartoonish. Both girls looked like startled stoats, eyes like saucers. Only the birds broke the silence, and the fountain of the courtyard gave a pleasant sound to the atmosphere.

A minute passes and they open their mouths.

"Alright, I have something for you-"

"Fancy seeing you here, because-"

Oops. Not expecting that. How awkward. "Rowan, you can-"

"Please go first-"

They trade sighs before Mervina wears the pants. "We'll both do it on three, 'kay?" With Rowan's nod (albeit she's shaking all over), Merv counts down.

three, two, one

There are sounds of shuffling, neither of the girls really knowing of what since both idiots have their eyes closed. They open their eyes and process what's in front of them. Rowan's little pink card; Mervina's vibrant bouquet. Amidst their stupidness, they flush and laugh their asses off until their bellies ache. Oh, how embarrassing. What was there to worry about? Nothing! All that fussing for nothing.

The gifts switch places. Rowan's card is rosy, with lots of scribbled hearts and scratched out words because Rowan's rambling extends to her writing too; and Mervina's flowers were an odd bunch, but beautiful, with peonies, gilliflowers, buttercups, gerbera daisies, carnations, and sunflowers, Rowan's favorite flower.

Warmth weights on their chests for a while, admiring their presents like rare jewels. (Ugh, lovesick fools.)

With some courage, Rowan stands on her tippy toes and plants a peck on Mervina's cheek. Which was unexpected, and all Merv can do is hide behind her little card, red as a tomato until she breaks out laughing, Rowan not too far behind.

~~~~~~~~~~

Just finished it. This has been sitting on my drafts for a wEEK. Welp enjoy it cause it’s cute

[jammyjess]

Hey friends!

I found King Falls AM at a time in my life where I felt scared, hopeless and alone. I didn’t want to be here at all, and I thought for the most part I’d never be happy again. I’m still most of those things, but every day in King Falls makes that a little easier to be okay with. I thought long and hard about what I could manage for this, but most of all, I just wanted to say thank you. So. Here goes.

Thank you for Sammy Stevens, who is my favourite kind of character. He’s sassy and pretty and humble and full of love.Thank you for his cynicism and snark, but also for his ability to push aside his own beliefs and ideas and wants when it matters. Also, for letting him Suplex Grisham, because that was pretty neat! Thank you for the way he relates to the people around him, but especially to Lily. For a character who makes mistakes and actually tries to learn from them - he doesn’t always get it right, but he tries, and that’s so important. He’s made me laugh, he’s made me cry, he’s made me want to scream. I adore his backstory, it means more to me than I can say, but also thank you for the way you handled the events around 75. It was so meaningful. I love him with everything I have, which is why it hurts me to thank you for his pain, which is so unbelievably relatable to my own. For my own hurt that comes out of his mouth. The kind of hurt that transcends circumstances. I was in a dark place before this show, and parts of me are still there, but watching Sammy grow, and change and heal has meant everything to me. It gives me hope for better days. For Sammy, and for me too. Thank you for giving him the courage to stick around, and for giving him hope. Thank you for Benny Arnold. Who I can’t write about coherently without bursting into tears. He’s messy and flawed and just absolutely gorgeous. Seeing him grow through the years has been an absolute joy, but most of all, I love his ability to remain untainted by the horrors he’s been through. He’s still got the same heart, and it’s the best heart there is. I love his passion, his hope, his resilience. His belief in everybody around him. He remains unapologetically himself through everything, and I adore him. He is The Good, and I’m so glad we have him. Noah brings such complexity to him too, and I can listen a thousand times to a single episode and continue to feel all the things. 

Thank you for Emily. For making a strong, intelligent, badass women who’s also soft and desirable and loving. For letting her write her own story and for letting her be more than a prize to be won. She’s so good natured and considerate and thoughtful, and even in her worst moments she never loses that. Every moment she appears is wonderful and Jess KILLS IT every time! I’ve especially enjoyed phase two Emily, as her relationships with other characters become more integral to the story. Thank you for speaking out against the Frickards of the world through her, because it hurts and it’s hard but it’s so important. Using your audience for good means so much. Thank you for the thoughtfulness and care with which you consistently apply to sensitive subjects. For day-to-day happiness, for happy places and for months of quiet kindness without ever being asked. 

Thank you for Jack Wright. For the reminder to choose love (even when it’s hard. Maybe especially when it’s hard.) For the reminder that we’re all worthy of love, in all its forms. The affirmation that nobody corners the market on sadness, but also that we don’t always have to go it alone. That grief is universal, and that’s not always a bad thing. For quiet moments of humanity in the midst of absolute tragedy. For vulnerability, for heartbreak and moving forward together. For forgiveness and acceptance, and humility. 

Thank you for Dwayne Libbydale, who’s a special kind of chaos. I am again lost for words, but I love him, I love him, I love him. 

Thank you for Pete Escobar Ed Edwards Yardboy Myers and his funyuns and disdain and snark (even if me saying I love him means he’ll never listen to this show again.) Thank you for PHENOMENAL journalist Lily Wright, who is an absolute delight! She feels like the personification of grief, loss and trauma, but at the same time so, so real. Her reluctant acceptance of King Falls as home is beautiful, and I hope she gets ALL THE HUGS really soon. She’s not afraid to speak her mind, even if it means alienating the people she loves. Her shaky vulnerability with Sammy, Ben and Emily is so good, and I’m so excited to see where the future of Lily Wright lays. King Falls Chronicles was some KILLER story telling, and Candace was the icing on the cake. The acting chemistry she has with everybody is absolutely on point. I’m so glad we get to keep Lily. That she’s found home. Thank you for #DeputyDead. His unwavering optimism and willingness to see the good in everything and everybody is absolutely wonderful. 

Thank you for Debbie and RoboTim, who I still believe in, despite all evidence pointing to ‘don’t do that.’ Thank you for Maggie Masterson, an Actual Icon. And for our Man’s Man’s Man and his lil Kingsie Bab. For Regan who is a sweetheart and Chet who I hate to love.

Thank you for villains that fill me with white hot rage. Who’s actions are explained, but never excused. For Frickards and Gundersons and ShadowFUCKS and HFB3’s and Leland Hills and Ernies and Grishams. They’re different levels of despicable, and I adore hate them all. 

Thank you for ridiculous caricatures ; the Gwendolyns and the Cynthias and the Jacob Williams. Thank you for SPORTSBALL (CHOP. DAT. WOOD.) and WALL CRABS and GARBAGE BEARS and DANGER NOODLES  and every other ridiculous Benism. 

Thank you for Teareal and serendipity and redrum roses and for the inability to see the word ‘ghost’ and not correcting it to APPARITION. Thank you for Dan & Larry and boy band battles and Doyle’s Conspiracy Cavern and Devon Hamptonframptonshire. For Golden Owl, Finn and Gator Jack and Alvin and every other ridiculously loveable character you’ve created. Some of them barely last longer than an episode, but their chaos will fuel me for a lifetime. 

Thank you for Mary Jensen, who is the mom I wish I had. All moms are champs, but Mary is perfect. Thank you for Betty and Nancy and Loretta and Marigold. All who I expect deserve the praise they’re given. 

Thank you for Herschel and Cecil, who are cranky old bastards and who probably shouldn’t fit together, but they do so effortlessly. The care and compassion they have for each other is inspiring, and I too hope to have a friend like that someday. Trent is wickedly skilled, and I’m sure he hears it so often but!!!! 

Thank you for BE WELL BUDDIES and silly puns in the titles, and short jokes and RoboTim mixups and Science Institute break-ins with vigilante superheroes and mysterious callers. Thank you for love through overnight oats and moustache talk and non-binary pals. For a willingness to grow and change and learn and laugh. For the electrolocaust and my favourite threesome and for sammiversarys. For Ben posting Sammy’s bail, and heart-to-hearts in jail cells. For stupid bets and bensplosions and the fucking kickball story. For creepy dreams and technical terms, for badly timed BEEPS for awkward flirting and on-air confessions. For idiots who can’t keep secrets, let alone not talk about them on air for more than five minutes. For missing hikers and weird shadow tornados and notebooks and shooting down UFOs and death by damnation. For the SECOND BEST small town in American Celebration, for Christmas Gifts for Ben’s Mom and Jupiter Jaundice. For Ben’s monopoly tactics and Sammy’s audible eye rolls, for prophecies and ‘legend-has-it’s and for love and love and love.

Thank you for the mysteries, and for the constant need for MORE. You do cliffhangers so wonderfully, and I feel like I’ve never anticipated anything so keenly in my life. Tim Jensen, The Dark, Merv, Death by Damnation, The Rainbow Lights, The Zombies. 

Thank you for Cameron Chambers??? How does he do it?? I have no idea, but I hope he keeps doing it. Especially all them Christmas BOPS. Legendary. Jazz-Hands worthy! 

Thank you for making Zombies the F- plot. 

Thank you for the Eagle Screech in the DALE’S DOLLAR TREE ad. And all the other ads too, I guess. I don’t understand The Fucky List, but thanks for that too! Thank you for JACK IN THE BOX JESUS which has caused my internet to constantly recommend me eat at Jack in the Box, despite the closest one being literal continents away.

Thank you for continuing to choose this. For being open to sharing so much of yourselves with us. Thank you for fan interactions and live listens, Q&As and twitter replies and twitch streams and retweets and Beyond the Falls. Thank you for the love and care you show us all, which above all feels genuine. 

Thank you for being the catalyst for a community where I finally feel like I belong. Like I’m important. Like I matter. Thank you for being the reason for hours and days and weeks and months of in-jokes and teasing and theories and head canons and screaming and food talk and love. For so much kindness. And acceptance. For a space to be myself without fear. For people I feel like I’ve known lifetimes, and for whom I hope I can love for lifetimes more. For people to cheer on, and cry with, and poke fun at. For stupid nickname changes, and memes and words in reactions. For making me feel like i’m part of something much bigger than me. For a place to be passionate without judgement. For a place to just be. For friends. For family.

Thank you for the push I’ve needed to create again. And for all the others you’ve inspired too. 

Every moment inside King Falls have been an absolute blessing, but the impact it’s had on my life outside of it is absolutely everything.

Congratulations on (almost) 100 episodes. What an adventure it’s been. I’m so excited for everything the future of King Falls holds, but most of all; Thank you for making this fuckin’ mean something.

[papermoonloveslucy]

BOB HOPE

May 29, 1903 - July 27, 2003

Bob Hope was born Lesley Townes Hope in England in 1903. During his extensive career (in virtually all forms of media) he received five honorary Academy Awards. After a brief marriage to his vaudeville partner Grace Troxell, he wed singer and actress Dolores Read, with whom he adopted four children. Although they stayed together for the rest of his life, their marriage was not always an easy one, with Hope having a reputation as a womanizer, and constantly his constant travel for performances.  He was so busy on screen and off that he was facetiously dubbed “Rapid Robert”. 

Aside from his collaboration with Lucille Ball, he was known for his partnership with crooner Bing Crosby on the “Road” films, his devotion to the USO, and his love of golf.     

In 1945, Desi Arnaz was the orchestra leader on Bob Hope’s NBC radio show. 

HOPE (about Lucy and Desi): “Lips and hands were all over one and another. I never saw a couple loving each other more after Bogie and Bacall.”

Ball and Hope had made four feature films together: Sorrowful Jones (1949), Fancy Pants (1950), The Facts of Life (1960), and Critic’s Choice (1963). 

Hope and Ball first collaborated on television on September 14, 1950 on the third installment of “The Star-Spangled Revue”, Hope’s first regular television program.  Lucy played the mayor of NYC and Bob her henpecked husband. 

Kicking off season six of “I Love Lucy” in October 1956, Bob Hope guest-starred as as himself. The story was built around the real-life fact that Hope was part owner of the Cleveland Indians Baseball team.  

Two weeks later, in one of TV’s first network cross-overs, the entire cast of “I Love Lucy” appeared on “The Bob Hope Chevy Show”. The premise of the sketch (later colorized for home video) supposed that Bob, instead of Desi, married Lucy and became her bandleader husband on the sitcom.  

In October 1959, Lucy and Hope were two of many celebrities paying tribute to “Eleanor Roosevelt on Her Diamond Jubilee” aired as part of “Sunday Showcase” on NBC. 

On January 10, 1960, Hope and Ball were two of the stars profiled in “Hedda Hopper’s Hollywood.”  Lucille is seen in front of her Desilu Playhouse on the backlot. Standing amid a pile of suitcases, Bob Hope talks about Hollywood in general, presenting almost a monologue on the subject. 

Hope:“Hedda has a fabulous fund of Hollywood knowledge. She has to wear those big hats to keep the secrets from leaking out.”

On February 15, 1961, Ball served as a presenter on “The Bob Hope Buick Sports Show.” Boxer Floyd Patterson could not attend the ceremony on the West Coast, so Hope shows footage of Lucille Ball presenting him the award on the East Coast, where she was appearing in Wildcat on Broadway.

On October 24, 1962 Bing Crosby and Juliet Prowse joined Lucy for “The Bob Hope Show”. In a sketch, Lucille plays a District Attorney and Bob a gangster named Bugsy.

During the “Bob Hope Special: TV Guide Awards” on April 14, 1963, Lucille Ball is nominated for Favorite Female Performer. Ball is not present so a still photo of her is shown instead. The winner is Carol Burnett.  

On a May 5, 1963 “Toast of the Town” (aka “The Ed Sullivan Show”) from New York City, Bob Hope and Lucille Ball promote their new movie Critic’s Choice. 

The pair continued their Critic’s Choice promotion tour that same day (May 5, 1963) by appearing on “What’s My Line?”  This would be their last film together and one they both considered a failure.

On April 19, 1964, Hope and Ball teamed for a CBS Comedy Special titled “Mr. and Mrs.” in which they played themselves and a husband and wife acting team.  

Hope made a cameo appearance in "The Lucy Show” (TLS S3;E2) on September 28, 1964, that starred Jack Benny as a plumber with hidden talents. 

In “Bob Hope Presents Chrysler Theatre: Have Girls, Will Travel” on October 16, 1964, Lucille Ball does a cameo as Hope’s wife in a cast of ‘girls’ that includes Jill St. John, Marilyn Maxwell, and Rhonda Fleming.

“A Bob Hope Comedy Special: Bob Hope’s Leading Ladies” on September 28, 1966, Lucile Ball played herself and arrived in Bob Hope’s bedroom on a chauffeur-driven adult-size tricycle! During their scene, old friends Ball and Hope continually crack each other up.   

“Jack Benny’s Carnival Nights” (March 20, 1968) featured both Ball and Hope, although they did not share any scenes together.  

Bob Hope was there when Lucille Ball won her fourth (and final) competitive Emmy Award on a May 19, 1968 telecast from The Hollywood Palladium. Don Adams and Bill Cosby also won.

“The Dean Martin Christmas Special” (December 19,1968) featured many celebrities including Hope and Ball in (separate) cameos. Lucy promises that the kids at the City of Hope Medical Center will have a Merry Christmas.

Bob Hope, Lucille Ball (and dozens of other stars) make guest appearances on “The Dean Martin Show” sixth season opener on September 17, 1970. 

On “Jack Benny’s 20th Anniversary Show” (November 16, 1970) Lucy plays Benny’s maid, Janet. Bob does a monologue about Benny but does not share the screen with Lucille Ball. 

That same date (November 16, 1970) Ball appeared on “The Bob Hope Show: Bringing Back Vaudeville.” Bob plays a hypnotist who takes Lucy out of the audience to be his stooge.  

“Swing Out, Sweet Land” (November 29, 1970) was a star-studded patriotic special featuring Lucille Ball (voice of the Statue of Liberty) and Bob Hope entertaining the troops - at Valley Forge!    

“Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Jack Benny* But Were Afraid To Ask” (March 10, 1971) featured Bob Hope in a quick cameo as a juggler and Lucille Ball plays a star-struck young Goldwyn Girl seduced by leading man Benny. 

Ball and Hope were both recognized with plaques on “Zenith Presents: A Salute to Television’s 25th Anniversary” on September 10, 1972.

An October 12, 1973 episode of “The Merv Griffin Show” is a Salute to Lucille Ball featuring her husband and children, and her two most famous male co-stars, Bob Hope and Gale Gordon.

On “Show Business Salute to Milton Berle” (December 4, 1973), the Friars Club celebrate Berle’s 60 years in entertainment. Sammy Davis Jr. hosts with guests Lucille Ball and Bob Hope.

In “The Bob Hope Christmas Special” aired on December 9, 1973, Lucille Ball played herself, thinking that Bob is buying her expensive presents because he is in love with her.  

Naturally, Hope is on the dais for the “Dean Martin Celebrity Roast of Lucille Ball” on February 7, 1975. 

Bob Hope: “Lucy’s always doing nice things. Even though she’s not with Desi anymore she got him a job as a dialogue coach on ‘Chico and the Man’.”

“Bob Hope’s World of Comedy” (October 29, 1969) naturally included Lucille Ball. 

“NBC: The First Fifty Years” (November 26, 1976) was a four and a half hour extravaganza that featured NBC’s biggest star Bob Hope, but somehow also included CBS star Lucille Ball, four years before she would leap over to the peacock network.

Two days, later (November 28, 1976) “CBS Salutes Lucy: The First 25 Years” includes Hope singing his signature song “Thanks for the Memory” with special lyrics about Lucy.

“Bob Hope’s All-Star Comedy Tribute to Vaudeville” (March 25, 1977) featured Lucy and Bob in a sketch titled “The Housecleaners”....

... as well as one titled “The Hospital” in which Lucille Ball is the clumsy Dr. Spinebender and Bob Hope is a heavily bandaged patient. 

On April 15, 1977, “Dinah!” presented “Bob Hope: The Road to Hollywood” with Dinah Shore welcoming guests Lucille Ball, Rosemary Clooney, Jane Russell, Rhonda Fleming, and Dorothy Lamour.

“A Tribute To Mr. Television Milton Berle” (March 26, 1978) included testimonials from Lucille Ball and Bob Hope. 

Lucille Ball took to the Kennedy Center stage to say “Happy Birthday Bob” on May 29, 1978. 

LUCY: “I starred with Bob in four pictures and they were all fun, frantic, and foolish.”

John Wayne hosted "General Electric’s All-Star Anniversary” which recalls the music, song, and comedy of the past 100 years and marked the one-hundredth anniversary of the General Electric Company with stars such as Lucille Ball and Bob Hope. 

Lucille Ball is guest-host on “The Mike Douglas Show” and they interview stars that include Bob Hope (November 3, 1978). 

“Bob Hope Salutes the Ohio Jubilee” (December 3, 1978) has Lucy in a flimsy negligee to get her husband’s (Hope) attention during a football game. 

“The Annual Friars Club Tribute Presents a Salute to Johnny Carson” on May 6, 1979 was a testimonial dinner at Waldorf-Astoria with Bob Hope, Lucille Ball, Kirk Douglas and, of course, Ed McMahon. Lucy was accompanied by her husband and daughter.

After three decades on rival networks, Lucy joins Hope as an employee of the National Broadcast Corporation (NBC), kicking things off with this special: “Lucy Moves To NBC” on February 8, 1980.

“Bob Hope’s 30th Anniversary Television Special” took place on January 18, 1981.  It was a retrospect of Hope’s first 30 years on TV. Celebrating with Bob were guests Lucille Ball, Milton Berle, Danny Thomas, George Burns, Glen Campbell, Sammy Davis Jr., and many more.

On February 26, 1982, “The John Davidson Show” featured both Bob Hope and Lucille Ball.

Hope takes a look back at the beautiful and funny women he has worked with over the years. Lucille Ball and more than 60 of Bob’s co-stars are presented in studio segments, as well as television and film excerpts in “Bob Hope’s Women I Love - Beautiful But Funny” aired on February 28, 1982.

“On the Road to Hollywood - Part II” (March 2, 1983)  was a tribute to Hope’s film career, with clips from many of his films and appearances by many of his female co-stars, including Lucille Ball, Dorothy Lamour, Martha Rae, Jane Russell and others.

Hope returns to the site of his 75th Birthday Special, the Kennedy Center, for another three hour special with Lucille Ball, George Burns, Kathryn Crosby, George C. Scott, and Jim Henson in “Happy Birthday, Bob: A Salute to Bob Hope’s 80th Birthday” on May 23, 1983.

“Who Makes The World Laugh? - Part II” on April 4, 1984, answered the question in the title by presenting Lucille Ball and Hope together!  

Hall of Fame winner Lucille Ball and Governor’s Award recipient Bob Hope are  presenters at the “36th Primetime Emmy Awards” on September 23, 1984. 

“Bob Hope’s Unrehearsed Antics of the Stars” (September 28, 1984) found Lucille Ball recounting her disastrous audition for the role of Scarlet O’Hara in the 1939 film Gone With The Wind.

Lucille Ball makes a cameo appearance in “Bob Hopes Buys NBC?” on September 17, 1985.

An “All Star Party for Clint Eastwood” on November 30, 1986, features former honoree Lucille Ball and Bob Hope paying homage to Eastwood. 

Lucille Ball and Bob Hope were part of an all-star cast for “Happy 100th Birthday, Hollywood” on May 18, 1987. This was a two-hour special on ABC TV that won an Emmy for editing.

On the deck of an aircraft carrier, Bob Hope salutes the US Air Force’s 40th anniversary. Lucy and Bob sing “I Remember It Well” in “Bob Hope’s High-Flying Birthday Extravaganza” aired on May 25, 1987.

“America’s Tribute to Bob Hope” on January 2, 1988 - to celebrate the opening of the Bob Hope Cultural Center at Palm Springs, Lucille Ball and dozens of friends gather and offer comedy and musical performances to honor the building's namesake.

On May 16, 1988, Bob Hope celebrates the 85th of his 100 birthdays in “Happy Birthday, Bob: 50 Stars Salute Your 50 Years at NBC.” Lucille Ball sings “Comedy Ain’t No Joke,” her last ‘performance’ on television before her death. 

Lucille Ball’s final appearance was at “The 1989 Oscars” on March 29, 1989, appropriately alongside Bob Hope. They introduce a performance by ‘the stars of tomorrow. Lucy appears to be enjoying herself immensely, giggling at all Bob Hope’s jokes. 

After Ball’s passing, Hope hosted “Bob Hope’s Love Affair With Lucy”, a tribute which aired on September 23, 1989. Hope invited such stars as Betty White, George Burns, Danny Thomas, and even Kirk Cameron, to pay tribute to the Queen of Comedy. 

“100 Years of Hope and Humor” on April 23, 2003 was the last television appearance by Bob Hope. This tribute aired 29 days before his 100th birthday and 95 days before he passed away.

HOPE (on turning 100): “I don't feel old. In fact, I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.”

Thanks for the memories, Bob. RIP