#thank you very much for all the enjoyment
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Thank you for writing your version of ready player one, it was very enjoyable.
May I ask, what were you going to do with Polybius? Does it exist in the OASIS?
It was a long time ago, but I believe I was gonna put it in the coin op part of the museum planet amongst other games and one of the competitors was going to notice it as a fake since they would of course be familiar with the legend. I can't remember if I was going to tie that into the gates somehow, or make it the way to get the coin on Halliday's other eye. (Cline only included one life coin and tied it into nothing which just made it feel like a random powerup out of nowhere that meant nothing except to be an arse pull save after a dramatic death. I tied it into the ferryman payment to give it coherency and would thus need a second coin. This also gives the coins actual story meaning by letting the dramatic free life thing establish what the coins do so that they can use the second one to do something clever in the climax, making it an aspect of the story instead of a random arse pull.)
It honestly seems ridiculous that the original had so much 80s coin op shit and didn't reference Polybius at all. Very half arsed. Annoys me almost as much as the fact that Cline decided to put the Tomb of Horrors in his game and then very clearly did not actually read the module. (It's not a very big module dude, come on. This is very basic research. Your fucking character read it and you put him in it without reading it yourself?)
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Love Box
➸ Pairing: Nishimura Riki x Student! Reader (ft.Jungwon of Enhypen)
➸ Word Count: 21k. (removed some parts)
➸ Synopsis: The Love Box was a sacred treasure to the students of Decelis Academy where students pour their heart to people they admire anonymously. One of your responsibilities as the Radio Club president was to read the letters from the miraculous box. You previously hoped to have the ideal high school romance, as you were one of the victims of the aforementioned Love Box. Things don't work out as planned, though, and you find yourself in a romantic turmoil again when the recipient of your letter returns from their abrupt absence.
➸ Themes: Higschool lovers to strangers, to lovers again. Fic is set in Japan (though Enhypen members are included and have Korean names lol), heavily inspired from the anime Ao Haru ride, and that one romance J-drama I saw a few years back, and another fanfic of Riki that I got inspired from.
➸ Warnings: Reader gives in quite often, Riki is very much a tease but a shy boy at the same time, a sliver of that love triangle, tooth-rotting fluff, a lot of cursing, it has that field trip and jealousy trope thats so typical lol.
➸ Author's Note: its finally here! thank you so much guys for waiting and supporting my first ever full on fic! i hope you enjoy reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it!! its such a cute romance story!
➸ Taglist: @rikidaze @yangjungwonnie @iboughtnjz @murazbae @shi-toshi @tasnemluvs @btsreadss @katslv0nyu @wondash @honey-bunnysweet @opheliaas-stuff @sadgirlluvsmoney @saeeeee5 @sol3chu @firstclassjaylee @anushkaaaiaiiaiaia @jisel8 (i cant seem to find this user?? im sorry!!)
THE START OF APRIL SYMBOLIZED NEW BEGINNINGS—Something new, something marking the cherry blossoms that effortlessly tumble across your hometown's pavement. Spring, as though you'd call it. And in a country like Japan, evidently, such a season is highly acknowledged
Which, ultimately, led to the idea of dreading school.
During summer break, refusing to go home was in every teenager's nature.
During school, however, going home seemed like comfort more than it should be.
And so, the hustle and bustle of the city did not aid your restlessness, constantly fidgeting and tapping your foot against the concrete's sidewalk as you wait for the red light to turn green.
Once it does, you strap your bag just a tad bid closer and begin to walk.
Dreading school has rarely ran through your mind. Rather, you found it enjoyable, memorable, even. However, whenever it does, the cause of such is because of one thing only— your school's club.
Taking the role and responsibility of being an officer in your school's Radio Club does wonders. Your tasks were simple: aid the Journalism club and announce the daily announcements to the whole facility. The latter, included playing music recommendations from students via CDs that they'd send, and most of all, reading random love confessions from the club's confession box.
It was a sporadic idea that started a couple of years back, by the previous president of the club. The reason being was the Radio Club's diminishing presence. With but a few members, and on the verge of of, "extinction" by the school, the club had to do something.
Which led to the confession box— the Love Box. The tactic had been effective, as during your freshman year, you went as far as tiptoeing to the club's room, slotting your heart-filled letter to the confession box to— someone unbeknownst to you now— and scurrying like you'd committed the biggest crime.
Something differed now, though.
And then, something inspired you to join the club the following year. It had already garnered a couple of members prior to you joining, but eventually, with your perhaps unknowing charm and slight knowledge in radio broadcasting (given your interest in them), you were soon given the position of vice president during your junior year.
You step into the asphalt building of your high school, it's gate accumulating a ridiculous amount of baby pink blossoms— one cascaded down your fingertips. You touch it gently. Something's different, because now, by all technicality, you are the president of the Radio club.
Which meant twice the responsibility, and twice the stress from wholeheartedly reading the letters from the Love Box.
As the president of the club, and taking it upon yourself to announce for the first day of school you arrived a couple of minutes earlier to prepare and rehearse the script at hand.
You made your way into the facility, to the room you've come to frequent during your free time. With the key— having been given to you by the previous president— you haphazardly and excitedly open the door.
It had been a little over two months since you'd step foot here, yet it feels indifferent as ever. You settled your bag somewhere, nearing the radio system, preparing, checking the sound, and testing it to ensure a smooth flow.
Then you go over your script, a couple of minutes pass.
fom behind the door, you hear the aimless chatter of the students. How their summer had progressed, little escapades and adventures, various topics that you could fathom.
Then, you tap the mic and finally spoke,
"The song for today is titled Cherry Blossom by Dept and Ashley Alisha."
Oh, I feel spring is coming And if you could be mine for the season I could show you why you need me, baby
"Happy first day of school, students of Decelis Academy! We're kicking it off with an upbeat song."
So if you're feeling lonely, dear Then throw away all other reasons You can blossom like the trees do, baby
"How is everyone's summer break? The Radio club wishes it was prosperous and enjoyable to everyone."
No, don't you know, like the flowers grow You can grow to have commitment, baby
"Now, we turn to a new page and chapter in our academic life. Leave the troubles and problems behind, and face today with a smile."
So trust me only if you're really okay to give me your love This might never come back again
"The assembly will begin in ten minutes, all students please proceed to the gymnasium."
And when the flowers bloom I hope that we can, too
" Let's all make this year a good one, everyone!"
And we'll blossom in love Cherry blossoms and us
"I seriously cannot believe you right now!"
"Hey— Ow! Stop I said I was being serious!"
When school rolls around, it is practically inevitable for random bruises to appear in your arm.
"I missed you too, Rei." You wince in pain, rubbing your arm. Following your radio announcement, the assembly, and the students settling down their perspective seats, you find yourself, well... In the very same classroom and section as your best friend, Rei.
Short and stubborn, an individual who has terrible eyesight but great knack in discriminating others— Rei was the perfect salt to your sugar, Clyde to your Bonny, hate to your love— she was anything and everything alike; your complete opposite.
If you do so much as take a liking to someone, her immediate response would be— he's short, he's weird, he's rowdy, why are his grades low?
And it didn't matter, for whenever you do end up taking an infatuation to someone, say that senior the previous year, who was practically the epitome of perfect, Rei would have nothing to say. So, in short, her radar is never cut short. She's strict, but protective in a way. And when she finds out no flaws, she's all ears and no mouth. She was practically like the little eyes to your blind body.
"As if!" Rei scoffs, she's stubborn, too. "I can't believe you didn't tell me you got a cat. I could've come over and we could have cuddled!"
You rolled your eyes, "As if, you'd pretend I didn't even exist and all you'd care about is the cat!" Rei snickers, "Totally."
You laugh, looking at the window. Despite the totally overbearing pressure on your shoulders as a senior, on the bright side, your classroom was located at the third floor. And by some random luck, your seat was right beside the window, making it easy for you to feel the breeze and comfort of the air.
Perhaps with such a view, you'd think way less of your future, your college, the career you aren't even sure of pursuing, your life and—
"You have to stop with that look." Rei cuts off with a scoff, "What look?" you practically shot back.
"Like the world is practically against you, like you're in a war or something." You look over her direction, she rolls her eyes, "Come on, let's go get something to eat to distract you."
And as always, somehow, she was always just aware of whatever the hell runs through your mind.
Melon bread, a milk bread, and a carton of banana milk were all you took from the school cafeteria. You and Rei head over to pay for your food when your eyes suddenly scan over a piece of fish shaped bread; bunggeopang. What once used to be your favorite— now, it had only reminded you a bit of something— an empty, hollow, hole. Once, it was filled to the brim with stars and colors.
You shoved the incredulous thoughts away. You're crazy. You immediately thought. Pondering over something that once lingered in the past. It was stupid, it was ridiculous, it was—
"It was him, I really swear it was!"
"Are you sure? You're probably just hallucinating."
"No, he's like, back or something, I heard."
A student abruptly bumps into you, causing you to stumble and lose your footing. Luckily, Rei grabs hold of your arm and stabilizes you, "You good?" She asks, turning her heel to curse at the said students, but you stop and reassure her otherwise.
"I'm good, it was no big deal." You laugh, brushing it off. Rei rolls her eyes, "I swear, students don't know how to watch where they're going these days." She says. You only laugh, paying for your snacks over the counter, "They really don't."
You leave the cafeteria, walking with Rei side by side. Not far away from it, you hear an assembly of boisterous screams and squeals on the way to your classroom. It hadn't perked of much importance, until a student who'd absent-mindedly walked beside you with a friend spoke,
"Who's back?"
"I heard Nishimura Riki's back."
You try your hardest not to puke, you really do. But the name that lolls of the tongue of the person has your mind running and circles, your stomach doing flips, and your mind tumbling in a jumble.
Who, exactly, was back?
"Nishimura Riki's back?!"
It was as if they could hear you.
You felt your soul parting from your physical body, it's remnants floating in the air to be taken for the gods as they laughed below, at your horrendous, terrified, alarmed face.
It was laughable, really. How you remained frozen, still, unnerved. It was impossible to move your feet, they weren't budging. The food you carried had felt twice its size— you really could not move.
"Hey, hey, are you okay? Why're you just—"
"Rei, did you hear that?"
"Hear what?"
Rei was confused. But before she could do so much as to get a word out, you drag her arm across the hallway and lead her towards the other end with hurried steps.
"Hey— what are you doing! Our classroom's—"
And you lead her to somewhere a little more desert where the squeals and screams were still in line with your ears, but not enough to garner attention. You spoke, "I heard from them that Nishimura Riki is back."
"He's— What?!"
You nod, repeatedly. Twisting, turning, shaking your whole entire existence. "I just felt my body freeze up there, oh my gosh."
"What do you mean, he's back?" Rei repeats and you confirm her question. Nishimura Riki is back.
The Nishimura Riki— the person you dedicated your letter inside that Love Box during your freshman year.
Nishimura Riki— the person who was a friend, but more than a friend.
Nishimura Riki— the person who was less than a boyfriend.
That was, until he left to god knows where without a trace.
And now, he's suddenly back?
"Oh, the nerve he has to—"
"Don't." You interject. Rei's reaction was exactly what you'd imagine, and as much as it poses as a problem in your already anxious brain, you didn't want to make the problem bigger than it ought to be.
"It's... Fine." You say to Rei with a weak smile. It wasn't.
"Is it really, though? That bastard left without a trace, not even a single clue! And he has the nerve to come back."
You feel Rei's anger bubble up, though you couldn't fight back. You felt the exact same, a burning sensation coiling in the pits of your stomach. In the back of your mind, ran a million questions.
What is he doing back here?
Why did he leave with no so much as a trace?
What could he be doing that led him to disappear like a ghost?
Most importantly— how was he doing?
You hated yourself for even thinking of the latter part, yet much was true. As much as you ached to slap him in his face due to anger, part of you couldn't help but think how he's doing now. Is he doing good? Eating good? Taking care of himself?
But you keep it as a thought, partly because you know Rei would kill you if you do so much as voice it out, and also because why would you dare say something like that to the man who broke your heart?
"I know, but I've let it go, I promise." You muster up another smile. You haven't.
Rei looks at you, and despite already knowing the answer, she lets it go. "Are you sure?"
You nod, and she intertwines her arms with yours, "Don't worry, I won't let him get to you, I really swear."
Good, because if she doesn't, you feared you might be the one to come to him instead.
"Yeah, thank you."
Arm in arm you began to resurface and walk with Rei towards your classroom. The squealing had died down a bit, indicating that perhaps his obnoxiously still present fan base had gone off.
You heaved a sigh of relief, and headed towards your classroom, you could only hope you wouldn't bump into him. For today, tomorrow, and the rest of the year as well.
The bell finally rings, the teacher having had enough of their lecture.
It was lunch time now.
Today was like any other, despite it being the first day of school. Rei would go and eat with her club members, as you would head to the Radio club room and read some anonymous confessions placed inside the Love Box. It was a specific highlight of your day.
Some of the letters would contain random confession you had an inkling idea on who the writer would be, some would contain little notes for advice and you'd wholeheartedly offer it.
You liked to consider yourself a pretty good consultant when it came to relationships.
Of course, when it came to yours— that was a different question, and a different point altogether.
You make your way towards the room after waving a short goodbye to your friend, immediately putting the box inside and unlocking it with your magical keys.
As it had been the first day of school, you half-expected a bundle of letters to come pouring out. It was usually like this, a sudden burst of love confessions once the first day of school began, receding to occasional ones as the weeks pass by.
You were right, though, as your fingertips come into contact with one of the letters in a soft baby pink envelope, its color closely resembling cherry blossoms. A stupid, lovesick grin makes its way into your features. There were a couple more, some just plain white envelopes, some embedded with kiss marks and cute designs that you couldn't help but coo.
Over the course of lunch, you'd read over these letters, sometimes going through half, sometimes accomplishing the tasks of finishing them.
However, with today's bunch, it seems it would take you until tomorrow. You really had to call a meeting with your members for a rotation for the readings of these letters.
You make your way towards the radio system, setting it up once more and preparing the baby pink letter, its contents, delicate and fragile against your fingertips.
"Good afternoon, this is the Radio Club, we've finally arrived for the most awaited part of the day."
You smile,
"But first, let's play a song that was requested to me by a student."
You grab the CD, tuning it in and playing the song.
"Everything Has Changed but Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran."
As you read, you lower down the volume.
All I knew This morning when I woke Is I know something now Know something now I didn't before
"To the person I really love the most,"
And all I've seen Since eighteen hours ago Is green eyes and freckles and your smile In the back of my mind making me feel like
"It's a little bit stupid not admitting my feelings out loud and putting up a facade in order to confess, but this was the best I could muster, really."
I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now I just wanna know you, know you, know you
"But we've been avoiding like crazy each other these past few days, what could I possibly do? I'm scared of your response, scared of what you'll say to me. I've never felt anything like this before."
Cause all I know is we said, "Hello" And your eyes look like comin' home All I know is a simple name And everything has changed
"We aren't like this before, it's driving me insane, you know? I hinted all of a sudden that I liked you, and then you're in complete avoidance right after! It's scary..."
All I know is you held the door You'll be mine and I'll be yours All I know since yesterday
"Falling in love is scary... I do know of one thing though— I really like you, so, so, so much. I hope... This letter reaches you well, somehow."
Is everything has changed
You read a few more letters, playing along some of the recommended and handed CDs to you by your peers and schoolmates, ultimately reading enough as the bell rang once more and you had to wrap up and broadcast your final announcements.
You fixed your stuff, engulfing your thoughts in the letter you'd just read, feeling a familiar pit bubble up. The person the writer reached out to was in complete avoidance, in denial of their feelings. What a shame. You thought. You hoped, though, they are able to solve that problem sooner or later.
Lack of communication is hell, even worse than breaking up itself. You have no closure, have nothing at all. A sudden knock came upon your door, assuming it had been Rei, you mumble a short ‘come in.’ You hear the door creak, your back faced the person as you continued arranging your things,
"I'm almost done with this!"
"Hey, the teacher's looking for you."
A deep voice chimed in, one that’ defintely did not belong to Rei.
Rei's voice isn't that deep, that low, and raspy either. What? Has she caught a cold or something?
You turn around, only to be proven wrong. And then, the sudden urge to barf and flee returned within an instant.
Indeed, what was in front of you right now was not Rei.
It was Nishimura Riki, in the flesh.
"Ah... I see..." You mumble more so to yourself, panic rushing all over your body as you hurriedly put your notebooks in your bag. One came falling down, the rest following suit. You curse beneath your breath, kneeling down and picking it up.
You hadn't felt him come near, only taking sensation of it once of his hands aided you in grabbing the notebook, fingertips brushing against yours. A short electric jolt was sent through your spine, from your vision, all you could see were his veiny and long hands, stacking your notebooks and handing them to you.
Nothing else, not even his arms, his head, his eyes, nothing.
"Do you always bring this much stuff?" He chuckles. It was the first time you hear him chuckle in a year. The mysterious feeling appeared, the urge to puke having been long gone. Yet you don't answer, your own mouth betraying you and lacking to give some sort of answer.
Instead, you fixate yourself on your bag.
"Thank you." Was all you mumble, standing up once you were done and Riki follows suit. Finally, you gained the courage to take a peek at his features.
Not much has changed, really.
Except... His voice was way deeper, he was way taller, features more sharper than before.
Gosh. Is it really possible to change this much in just a year?
Perhaps it was just you thinking of such. After all, you have Riki memorized like the back of your hand. It didn't matter where he was, in a large and rollicking crowd, you'd be able to tell him apart.
Now, you weren't so sure.
A smug grin makes its way to his features. "You done staring?"
Well, he's still as cocky as ever, that feature of his remained.
You scoff, rolling your eyes, "As if." and brushing past him like air. You had to make him believe you were unfazed with his presence suddenly appearing with the snap of a finger. You had to make him think, "Oh, I wasn't such a big deal to her? That hurts."
As much as he was a bigger problem than anything else, you refused to back down.
After what he's done? Over your dead body.
"Why was she looking for me, by the way?"
You say, as your back faces Riki. You don't turn around, so you don't acknowledge the fact that he's already besides you, hands in his pocket, shrugging his shoulders. Stupid ass long legs.
"Something about me, I guess. Maybe she wants to reunite us?" The latter part of his sentence had a hint of mischief in it, but you were not having it. "That would be the president's job, not mine."
"And could you move out? I need to lock and close the doors."
"Woah, you've got a bit of a bite now, I like it." He laughs, following your instructions anyways and exiting the room.
“Anyways, thanks for that. You can go now, if you need to catch up on some things, please do so by approaching the class president.”
You walk away after locking the door, hurried and brief, fully intent on brushing him off. But Nishimura Riki stays grounded, walking alongside you, even having the nerve to place his unimaginably long hands atop your head and ruffling your hair.
It’s what he’s always done before, a habit of his which was dangerous. It didn’t help that there were students around, gaining you some questionable looks. “Stop that.”
“The teacher told me to bring you along. Not call you.”
Great. As if this was making the circumstance any better.
“I see, fantastic.” Sarcastic.
Riki pretended to feign hurt, teasingly poking his heart with a finger, “Ouch. I missed you too.”
“And I—“ you look at him straight in the eye, and he does the same. You frown, “Don’t. So stop acting so chummy with me.”
Behind Riki’s playful words, his eyes painted itself with something like… Hurt. But you must’ve been mistaken, because a second after, he was teasing you again. “You’re reaalllyyyy stubborn now. It’s cute.”
“Stop.” You say, distancing yourself from him just a bit as you make your way towards the teacher’s office. Riki doesn’t pry any further, opting to give you a playful laugh as he inserts his hands in his school pants.
God, if you hear him laugh again, you would go insane. As in— I miss your laugh, I wanna kiss you type of insane.
Which is not even good.
The two of you finally reached the office, knocking gentle and entering after hearing a come in from your teacher. Contrary to what you had been hoping, Niki was right. The teacher truly believing that you had now reconnected like old pals (deeming it as a situation which you are aware Riki left) and ultimately, putting you up against a situation you know you would regret in the long run— to help him catch up with tasks and work.
Which, how did that even make sense?
It’s the first day of school! He quite literally has nothing to catch up on. According to your teacher, however, most of the subjects would base and stem from your previous subjects during your junior year, which of course would naturally make it hard for Riki to catch up. That’s where you come in, apparently. The task was simple: tutor Nishimura Riki until he gets his ass settled down.
What, did he not do school in whenever the hell he disappeared to?
He doesn’t even need to settle down, its his old school! He knows every nook and cranny.
“It’s just going to be beneficial for the three of us, you two are already close so it won’t be much of a hassle to navigate through and help Riki.”
“Not clo—“
“Thank you, Mrs Koichi-san.” Riki smugly grins at the teacher, “I’ll make sure to listen well to Y/N.” Then he looks at you, smiling faintly. Though from the back of your head, it felt sarcastic and forced.
“She’s a great mentor, after all.”
Mrs-Koichi smiled. “Thank you, Y/N. I expect nothing less of you.”
There it was again. The overbearing expectance of something. Of course, there had to be something. You offered her a tight-lipped smile back. You couldn’t refuse, you couldn’t dare to do so now.
“Sure, Mrs-Koichi. I’ll make sure to fill Riki in on the missing tasks.”
As forced as it may sound, it didn’t feel too bad in the back of your head.
Perhaps it was just the little voices screaming inside your head, the little demon and angel bearing upon your shoulders. This wasn’t good. But at the same time, this was what you’ve been waiting for the whole time. It didn’t feel too good, though.
Riki and you turn to leave the office after a short bow, the awkward silence hanging in the air. Maybe it was only you that felt that way. Riki breaks the silence, “So… When are you available?”
“What?”
“I said when are you available, I actually do need catching up.”
You see his sheepish gaze, the way he reluctantly scratches the nape of his neck with his hand.
“You’re actually serious?”
He looks at you like some sort if joke. “Why would I not be?”
“Well…”
You ponder, but opted close your mouth. Riki is not the type to care about such stuff. Though you said you’d fill the words of expectations of your teacher, regardless of what you do, you’ve always pegged and known him the type to just not care at all. Countless have you tried to get him to care a little bit more about his studies, given the fact that he was part of the basketball team and being a fragment of that team meant having somewhat considerable grades.
He did, but he only ever does so much. Bare minimum, per se. Enough to have his spot kept at the basketball team, and enough to earn him a scolding from his mother the moment she sees his grade.
So, this was rather a surprise to you. “Um… When do you want to start?”
He grins, a glint of surprise feigning his eyes, “Are you free later after class?”
You think about it. Rei wouldn’t be too pleased about the situation at hand, but you are only helping Riki with his grades. After this, everything will completely dissipate.
Right?
“Yeah, sure. At the library it is, then.” You nod towards him, Riki smiles softly, suddenly ruffling your hair once more. “See ‘ya then.”
Then before you could even do or say something, he was walking off like the most nonchalant person ever. Like he didn’t just make your stomach tumble in agony, like he didn’t just capture a thousand, million butterflies and stuffed them inside your mouth and mouth saying— It doesn’t matter it feels like you’re pushing me aside, I still got to you anyways! Hah!’
“You’re stupid.”
“I know.”
“Knowing doesn’t count, I have to drill that into you— youre oblivious and stupid.”
“I’m not oblivious! Just stupid and— ugh. You know what? I don’t see the point in defending myself.”
“Good, because you don’t have much of a fight anyways.”
Rei scolds you.
As she always does when you end up making some sort of stupid decision. And by all decisions and every decision ever— This was your stupidest one by far. It had dawn upon you, how ridiculous the situation really is. You couldn’t justify yourself, what is there to justify? Your lingering feelings?
“I’m just helping him, okay? The teacher wanted me to do it.”
“And? Why couldn’t Mrs-Koichi ask like, I don’t know, someone from his class, like— the class president. I know she must have a major crush on him or something.”
You remove your hands from your tangled hair, the words picking at you. “What?”
“You know? Naomi. She’s always the class president in whatever class she’s in.”
“She’s the class president?"
“I mean, there’s no technical election yet from what I heard but it’s practically obvious. It’s like, a tradition at this point.”
Kazu Naomi.
You had no particular beef or dispute with her, except for maybe the fact that she was too perfect for your liking. Always at the top of her class, prim and proper— she was as pristine as a diamond could possibly be. Teachers rarely reprimanded her, students coo at the mention of her name. She was as ideal as ideal could possibly be.
During your freshman year, she’d taken a particular liking to Nishimura Riki, unbeknownst to you. She hadn’t done so much as to voice it out, but girl to girl, you fervently felt it. Felt the way she scooted a tad bit closer to Riki whenever she talked to him, felt the way she scooped a strand of her hair behind her ear in an attempt to make it look cute, the way she delicately spoke like a fragile little flower in front of him, attempting the most obvious things to try and get his attention.
And you couldn’t blame her, because she always had the means to do so. She was pretty, kind, outgoing, and confident too. Someone who’d perfectly balance Nishimura Riki’s stoic, stern, and ridiculously cocky demeanour. But, well, life takes surprising terms at times and by the end of it, the thoughts of them together were but a lingering fantasy for majority of the students' mind. Wondering, why you out of Naomi? Wondering, what exactly made you different?
She only do so much as let her admiration linger.
And you feel this very moment right now that it still lingers. But it shouldn’t matter, it was really none of your business. It really shouldn't matter, you think to yourself as you scribble down the possibilities of the two getting together given they are in the same class. It really, really shouldn't matter.
"I hope you know you're stupid and you know what you're getting yourself into."
Last period, you had yourself in a little frenzy. Minutes had felt like hours, and once the clock had finally ticked and it was time to go, you bolted as fast as you possibly could and fixed your things.
Rei sensed your hurriedness, and in no particular attempt to try and stop you, she just sighs and ought to give a warning. Which, ultimately surprised you as you halted to look at her, "You're not pulling me away or something like that?"
As what she'd always do when a guy doesn't pass her radar.
She just shrugs, "I don't really want you miserable and coming to me after. Or, have you miserable because you were too much of a wuss."
You just snort, "I suppose it wouldn't help if I tell you that— no, I don't really know what in the world I'm getting myself into."
"I know that."
"How?"
"I just do. Now go and help that guy get his shit together."
You smile, and with the heels of your feet, the tight clasp of your hands against each other, and a loudly beating heart— you just ran.
"What subjects in particular do you need help with?" You scan a particular textbook, a couple of books splayed across the table in front of you.
Beside, was Nishimura Riki who mindlessly rolled his pen around his fingertips. It was 3PM, a couple of hours before the library closes. Tutoring him for perhaps a single subject would suffice, two if you were lucky.
Riki hums to ponder, then he speaks, "Chemistry. I suck at it."
You nod, "I checked the curriculum, if it's right, I suppose we'll be tackling Intermolecular forces first." Riki nods along as you skim through the contexts of the chemistry book and handout for your grade level. It was not a particularly hard topic but succeeding these would mean to a new topic filled with computation.
You know it was Riki's waterloo, so you proceeded to explain such concepts in the most basic manner. You sat beside him, pencil in hand as you wave your hands around in an attempt to discuss the topic at hand. From your peripheral vision, Riki listens.
Albeit slouching, laying his head atop his hand and his arm resting lazily on the table, Riki listens. Silent, unnerved... Just attentive. Attentive of the way you mumble 'hmm' every time you messed a word up, the way you furrow your brows when thinking, the way you click your pen around.
He doesn't listen to whatever the hell that Intermolecular force is— he listens to you.
Unmindful of his actions, Riki's hands come to lose being astray as his left makes its way towards a strand of your hair— your bangs. His fingertips unconsciously move a strand of hair away from your features, an occurrence that makes you halt and freeze.
Riki soon realizes that he's done because he pulls back the second after, choking on his own words as he apologizes. "There was... There was something in your face." He defends.
You nod slowly, feeling the tinge of heat creep up your cheeks. "I see." Were all the words you can muster.
"I swear it—" Riki pulls back, "Don't bark up another snarky response, please god, no."
A sudden chuckle leaves your mouth, "What? Are you afraid of it or something." it was a rhetorical question, one that he answers, "Yes."
You eye him seriously for a second, then you scoff, mumbling beneath your breath, "Serves you right."
Riki gasps exasperatedly, "What?"
"I said, serves you right." You repeat this time, with a bit more force and weight as you dared to look at him, Riki looks at you with, surprised, but intrigued. "Are you... Mad at me right now?"
"I'm not. Why would I be? I have no reason to be."
Riki just snorts, poking your cheek ever so gently, "Why're you acting like that then?"
"Like what?"
"Like your boyfriend just left you or something."
Does Riki even know? It did indeed feel like that. It had felt like a thousand crumbling worlds was lunged at you, Riki doesn't know that. It did indeed felt like you lost a boyfriend— hell, you weren't even in a relationship.
You stay silent, choosing not to respond as you choke back your tumbling words that threatened to escape. Riki must've sensed this, because the very next minute, he was apologizing again. "Ah— No, I didn't mean it that way. Hey, are you crying? I'm sorry. Shit— fuck, I'm sorry."
It seems there must be some things that you cannot choke back. One of this, was your bulging urge to break down. Tears unknowingly flow from your eyes, Riki panics and takes out his handkerchief, closing the distance between you and him. He holds your chin gently, tilting it upwards and dabbing away your tears delicately. His face remained concern, apologetic, and stained with worry.
But he doesn't let you go, doesn't trouble with the way you gush your whole entire pent up, builded tears. Instead, he scoots just a tad bit closer, letting go of his hold on your chin and rubbing your neck with his left hand. He feels warm and indifferent.
And when you finally stopped crying, sniffling away the remaining snobs, did you finally look at him.
"Sorry, forget that happened."
Riki shakes his head, "It's okay... It's my fault, really."
You nod, agreeing with what he'd just said. "Can I— Can I maybe explain this whole entire thing to you?"
"After a year of leaving me out the dark? I don't really think so."
Riki looks at you, soft and tender, "I swear I have a reason and I don't want to get you involved. It's difficult, it's just—"
"And you know whatever it was I'd understand that."
Riki pauses, then he nods, "I'm sorry it's just... Everything at home makes it difficult for me to explain."
"Is it..." You tread carefully, "Is it something about your father again?"
Riki hesitantly nods. "It is, and we had to move to cities because of him being an ass."
You understood that part, "What about the sudden disappearance?"
At this point, Riki had not really let you go, still clasping your neck with his left hand and the other somehow intertwining with your hands. He rubs it with his thumb as he speaks, "I wanted to forget everything here, I thought I could. But I couldn't, I really couldn't. Especially not this and... Not you."
Something about his words felt oddly comforting, despite the fact that his initial intention was to eradicate perhaps even the smallest, fleeting moments with you. But you couldn’t blame him, not when his eyes this very moment lacked the particular mischief he always carried.
He looked at you with such softness, and it didn’t help that you were looking at him with those eyes.
Riki groans, tilting his head back and closing his eyes. “What’s wrong?” You ask him.
“Stop looking at me like that.” He lets go of his grip on your neck, rubbing his eyes, “Looking at you like what?”
“Like that.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about…”
“I might just kiss you if you don’t stop.”
His words made you choke, turning your head around to avoid his gaze. “What the heck are you talking about…”
Riki chuckles, still caressing your hand with his thumb, “Sorry, might have gone too far there.”
Flustered, you turn your head around to smack him in the chest. Riki allows you once, the second time, he grabs hold of your wrist and drives it towards his face. Unconsciously, you open your palms and allow him to place it beneath his cheeks.
His cheekbones, sharp and defined. Riki was no longer a silly little boy who was the very epitome of the devil itself. Aside from his very notable physical changes in his features, Riki felt… More relaxed, composed, and less rowdy. Despite the fact that he’s always kept to himself even now, something about him, though not significant to some, something about him really shifted.
You couldn’t deny the fact that he is attractive. That was a given, a fact that was not only shared by you, but also perhaps anyone who saw him at a first glance.
It was stupid, stupid really. How you let him linger his fingertips within your proximity, how you let him let his gaze last a little bit longer because you liked it too. You liked it when he stared at you like that and nobody else.
Was that too selfish?
Riki hums, nuzzling his head further into your warm palm and closing his eyes. He looks at you, grinning, “You good?”
But he knew you weren’t. You know you aren’t. You were gonna explode.
Riki laughs, pulling your hand back and kissing the back of it, “Mmm…”
“Riki…”
He hums.
“What are you thinking of right now?”
“Me?”
You nod. “You’re doing all this to me and yet— I still can’t read your mind. I don’t know what you’re thinking of, it’s driving me insane.”
Sighing, you pull your hands back away from his grip and let it settle upon your lap, fumbling with the hem if your uniform. Riki raises his brow, shoulders relaxing as he leans back on his chair.
The words that came out of his mouth felt like the easiest thing ever,
“You. I’m thinking of you.”
“The limit of this functions is that as X approaches to—”
God, you couldn’t focus. This was your limit. Not the whole entire maths thing the teacher was gnawing away at right now.
“But well, this function here can never approach X. It’s a little funny, right? Imagine it as a situation of wanting to reach something, but you couldn’t because there’s an obstacle of some sort. That right there is the asymptote, and—”
You’re the function. Riki’s the X.
“And this function here goes on and on and on. It’s infinite, it always comes back, per se.”
You’re definetely the function.
“Pst, hey—“
Someone pokes you from beside, pulling you out of your ridiculous trance. It was Rei. “You good?” She whispers, concern tainting her features.
After telling her everything that happened yesterday during your little study session with Riki, needless to say, Rei was beyond baffled. Not so at the fact that you poured your whole heart and soul in front of the man she’d willingly curse at, but more so at the fact that Riki, according to your description… Differed.
Of course, she was rather upset at you for breaking your walls down that easily in front of him, but nothing really ever happened except for some explaining from his side.
At least, that’s what you told her anyways.
The fact that he held your hand, your cheeks, pulled you a little bit closer to him— All you deemed insignificant for Rei’s knowledge. And, well, she could partly see why you’re so absent-minded right now, though, not really understanding the complete reason as to why.
“I’m fine.” You muster a small smile towards her, giving her a thumbs up.
“That’s it for the lesson today, make sure your notes are all arranged, including today’s lesson. I’ll be collecting them later.”
Oh shit. You looked down your notebook. You weren’t able to write anything at all, just scribbles of random stuff, mind too preoccupied with everything all at once. You internally groaned, grabbing Rei’s notebook out of the blue and copying her notes as fast as lightning.
“It’s a little bit early to be announcing this right now, but I thought it’ll benefit you all.”
You pay no attention, continuing to hammer down your notes.
“In honor of the school’s parting gift for the seniors, the graduating batch, staff, and teachers of Decelis Academy will have a little field trip the following week.”
With that, students beamed at the teacher’s sudden announcement. Your ears perked up at what you’d heard, looking at Rei with a short grin along your face. She smiled back, “Are you coming?”
“Of course I am!”
Despite it being a little too early for a field trip for your academy, you weren’t really one to complain. That meant having two trips all in the same year, which is not bad at all. It had been weird for your school to consider a trip so early, but well, early vacation it is, you suppose.
After being given more details about the trip at hand, and finally stuffing in Rei’s notes in your notebook, lunch finally rolled around once more. All mentions of your absent-mindedness having gone down the drain as the two of you talk about the trip,
“You think we’re going swimming or something?”
“Knowing the school? We’ll probably do some history museum or—“
“Boring!”
You laugh, sharing the same sentiment with Rei. After a few more words, you say goodbye to each other and headed towards your usual— the Radio club room. Last night, you’d call a small meeting before school had started with the rest of your members. Starting tomorrow, there will be a random rotation when it came to the announcements.
Today, however, was your task. You did as you would during your usual days, organizing, reading some particular letters from the Love Box, and playing random music recommendations from the students.
After an hour of doing so, you checked the time: around ten more minutes before lunch was over. Taking this as an opportunity to buy something from the cafeteria, you scurried to fix your things and headed out from the room. Maybe you’ll get some milk bread again today, or whatever the cafeteria had available.
However, upon reaching the cafeteria, you saw there was no more milk available which meant having to go and buy from the vending machine just outside. It was a bit of a hassle, but with the urge and determination to buy milk, you headed out.
The vending machine was near the gymnasium, and it had been no surprise to hear sneakers and footsteps once you entered. Usually, during lunch, students would rather find time to play than to actually eat. Thus, you ignored the ruckus and proceeded to buy yourself some milk.
Then you heard it— the loud thudding and laughter.
“That was my point!”
Someone shouts, laughing along the people he was playing with. A ball bounces, you pretended not to care, slotting some coins to get your milk. Then the noise stops for a complete second. You supposed they were taking a break, you shrugged and placed the straw inside your drink.
As the straw neared your lips, something or rather— someone, took a sip of your drink first. It was swift, and two second later, your drink was no longer within your grasp!
Frustrated, and ready to curse at whoever the hell took your drink, you twitched your head to the side to capture the culprit.
Sweat beading from his forehead, his hair wet and disheveled. His cheeks are a bit red from all the running, clothes soaked in perspiration. He smiled towards you, sipping your banana milk dry.
You didn’t move, staring at him with a — are you serious?— type of face. He throws the banana milk to the trash, patting your head and ruffling your hair. The slight height difference was visible, you smacked his hand away in annoyance. Or maybe you were flustered.
“And that, was mine.” You argued, sighing and taking out a few more coins to get some more milk.
Riki's teammates all yelled something about playing one more round, to which he shouts, "Coming!"
He then turns towards you, "Are you coming to the field trip?" He says, you think about it for a moment. "Why are you asking?"
"I just want to know." Riki says.
You shrug, "Yeah, I guess." Then he grins, ruffling your hair once more and turning back to his teammates. "I'll just play again, see you later at the library?"
You nod, half-expecting him to not come at all. "See you."
Nonetheless, you head to class with a huge, stupid, lovesick grin plastered on your face that you tried your hardest to bury away, yet to no avail.
And from the corner of your eyes, you see her — Kazu Naomi.
"Riki! I was looking for you everywhere!"
Then everything washed down upon you, the grin dissipating, as fast as day.
Over the span of one week, you learned a few of the following:
1. Nishimura Riki hates anything literature more than he does math.
2. Nishimura Riki, once he’s up to it, is actually a rather fast and efficient learner. (though the situation is seldom)
3. Nishimura Riki told you your voice sounded nice every time you announced and that, according to him— he loves it when your voice is put up the speaker.
4. Nishimura Riki apparently is the eye-candy for many girls and guys alike. (not that it was anything new.)
5. The previous statement connects with the fourth— with one of those people being none other than Kazu Naomi.
6. Nishimura Riki and Kazu Naomi are close.
Regardless of the fact that all of these learnings centered around Riki, perhaps hinting you are a bit too observant when it came to him, out of all these, nothing pisses you off more than the last stament mentioned.
Well, it didn’t really matter whether or not hundreds of girls flocked over to his side, because he always did give off the plain, uninterested, boring response. It did however matter though when the person who flocked around is Kazu Naomi.
You see it.
You see the way she galloped around, attempting to join in conversations between Riki and his friend and the way she’d delicately. Delicately laugh and giggle like a sealion in front of him. And Riki would laugh, geniunely laugh, and put inputs of his own with keen interest.
Of course, you only ever saw during lunch. But if that’s what happens during lunch, then what more could happen inside the classroom? A classroom which, they sit next to each other.
Makes stuff ten times more troubling.
“Why are you so spaced out, chum? Help me with this question,” Riki abruptly says. You’ve earned the title of chum now, rooting from your words a few days prior— ‘quit acting chummy with me.’
You shake your head, “What was it again?”
Riki chuckles, pointing his pencil towards a problem. He was still sitting as lazily as ever, slouching and putting his arm on the table. “What’s the problem?”
“It’s this. I don’t get this.” You glance at the problem, before solving it on your own and—
Does Kazu Naomi still like her?
Or even worse, what if he likes her? He laughs without much of a care in the world whenever—
“Chum, what are you bringing for the trip tomorrow?”
“Hm? Oh um probably just some essentials. I won’t be bringing much, why?”
“I think you’re carrying the whole weight on your shoulder.”
“What?”
“I dunno,” Riki shrugs, swiftly taking your shoulders upon his palms and massaging it. “You look like you’re thinking of a lot right now.”
Tense at first, it doesn’t take you long to ease up into his palms. Riki had heavy hands, he massaged your shoulders with ease. “I’m not, it’s just, you know…”
You sigh, feeling to embarrassed to even think about such stuff.
“Mmm?” He tilts his head. “Know what?”
“It’s nothing.” You muster a small smile. “Really?” He was not having it.
“Don’t tell me you’re thinking of me chum, you don’t have to, y’know.”
Riki offers you a smug grin. You scoff, slapping his hand away. “I’m right here in front of you. All yours, too.”
“As if. You’re getting too ahead of yourself.” You slap him in the arm, Riki dodges with ease. “You’re cute.”
“What?”
“I said you’re cute.” Riki repeats. This is what you absolutely hated about him. His absolute lack of being dishonest, his effortless ability of being straightforward, and deeming it as a harmless joke afterwards. Although it was a light joke, it never really is for your beating heart.
It didn’t help that his remarks of honesty is no light feat, either. Who even says stuff like that randomly?
Over the past few days you’ve been tutoring him in the library, you find that his words are either the most dumbest thing, or the most unbelievable thing to leave his mouth. This, being being the latter.
“If you’re trying to smooth talk your way out of physics, nice try.” You counter quickly, rolling your eyes.
“It was worth a shot.”
He shrugs, laughing along your seemingly disgusted face.
Unbeknownst to you, though is that Riki had actually meant every word.
You are cute.
If there is one thing you swore on earth during your freshman year, and ultimately the year after— was to never ever go back or to recall fleeting moments of you and Riki ever again.
Sure, it had been hard to ignore. It was everywhere, traces of where Riki had left off. Your old notebook, the school itself, your phone— most especially your phone.
You hadn’t much of the guts to recall particular moments in life where all you did together with him was chat until the sun rose, at ridiculous topics memes you’d come across. It was a fleeting moment altogether, more than enough to make butterflies float and panic in your stomach.
But a few months after, it was more than enough to make your stomach churn in pain.
So, ultimately, when you lost all contact with Riki, flooding his email and your chat with him had been your only options. Your conversation with him had been filled with messages upon message, some making you look outright desperate in hopes of reaching him and contacting him.
Halfway through your junior year, you stopped sending anything at all entirely. After being given an ultimatum from your best friend, and an abundance of scolding from your parents— chasing after a person who vanished into thin air really was not worth the time.
So you stopped, and you swore to never go back to it again.
Packing your things inside your bag as you played music, you felt your phone ping from your bed. You grabbed your phone, half expecting the notification to be from Rei, only to see the familiar name that pinged upon.
Riki.
His name was still the same as you’d left it, being too shy and embarrassed to change it into something more intimate once your relationship had gotten a tad bit deeper before.
You stare at his name for a minute, contemplating.
You opened the message anyways, excusing the chat for some sort of emergency.
Riki: hey
You: ??
Riki: what else are you bringing lol I feel like I underpacked
You: Why do you keep asking me this, I told you like a million times already
Riki: really? sorry, just wanted a reason to chat you then i guess
Your hear your heart thump against your chest. But your eyes scroll a little upwards, towards the thousand of missed calls and messages you’d left to him a few months prior. They all looked pitiful to even look at.
At this point, you should be mad at Riki for leaving them unopened. Texting you like nothing happened, like you weren’t practically begging to hear from him back before. It should be infuriating, but instead, it only leaves a bitter taste down your throat.
You hated yourself for being this understanding, for caring too much— for being too much.
You: Go to sleep.
Riki: wowwww i’m rather hurt! :(( be a little nicer pls
You: Stop teasing me, it’s annoying
Riki: and you like it, chum
You: I do not.
Riki: you do
You: No.
Riki: yes, i can see u blush whenever i get close to you its adorable
You: Stop being annoying.
Riki: annoying is my middle name
You: what
Riki: lol jus kidding
Riki sends you a meme of a cat that oddly looks like him, jumping around with a silly goofy cafe. His favorite little meme. Odd, it sends a little smile down your face, momentarily forgetting anything else. For once, you let him chat and annoy you to his heart’s content, hoping, wishing, and seeing the old memories pile behind the new ones.
After a night filled with countless memes and gifs with Nishimura Riki, the day of the trip finally came to roll around. Arriving to school early before the sun showed up, and finding it you are just as excited as others are.
Well, that was a couple minutes before.
But now, you’re not so sure anymore as you boarded your bus with Rei.
It wasn’t really such a big deal, given the fact that him and Naomi were classmates, and the bus occupied two sections and you were paired with a section you could care less about.
And, Riki, well… Their section was in a separate bus. It shouldn’t matter, it really didn’t. Not until, from across, you saw their bus. Then, you see him. You see her, too.
Kazu Naomi, sitting down the window seat with Riki beside him.
All color, excitement, and joy faded within your features. Suddenly, all you wanted to do was go home and wrap yourself with your blanket and talk to absolutely no one.
You had the free will to choose your seatmate, Rei was beside you scrolling through her phone. She sensed your dejectedness, and immediately asked whats wrong.
“I don’t know…”
You grumble, fumbling with your colored wristband. But Rei knows full well. Rei knows everything despite you not uttering a word. “This is about Riki again?” You nod, not even feigning innocence anymore.
She sighs, “it’s just for a few gut-wrenching hours, if that makes it any better.”
“You saw?”
“How couldn’t I? She had that stupid little creepy grin on her face,” Rei looked at you, pretending she was shivering. You laughed, “It’s impossible not to notice.”
“Right? And now people will notice, too.”
You groan dramatically, Rei laughs as she pats your back. “I can give him a beating later if you want me to, oh, and her too.”
“Please do the honor.”
She rolls her eyes, not prying into your antics any further.
Your phone pings, you pick it up.
Riki: you alright?
You stare at the text message of the boy, opting to respond:
You: I’m fine.
Then you look outside, towards his bus. Riki coincidentally does the same.
But you left it at that, a simple stolen glance, choosing not to say anything more.
The whole ride on the way to some Mt.Takao (why the school chose some random ass mountain to have the trip on, you could not understand), albeit having your entire existence soaked in worried, you tried your best to push the thoughts aside.
Upon arriving at the top of the mountain, topics of discussion of the activities were all you heard from the people around. Their chatters, even as you unboarded from the bus remained.
Something like team building activities the student council had planned out.
Upon placing some of your stuff in your assigned cabins, it didn’t take long before all the students were gathered once more around the area for some activities. It had been cold and chilly, enough for you to wrap some layers around your body, not too thick, yet not too thin.
Students gathered at the center of the cabins, you walked alongside Rei who was perhaps saying something about her newfound hobby a few days prior.
The student council led by their president— Yang Jungwon, had been in charge of the preparations for the activities and game. Teachers are left for their own entertainment around the mountain, though occasionally, some would check around and make sure all the students are safe.
You knew some of the members of the student council. Aside from the aforementioned president, their vice president, Park Sunghoon. A rather distant man, and someone who often kept to himself. You got to talk to him before after being assigned by the same teacher with a specific task.
Their secretary— Kazu Naomi. Enough information has been said about her. Needless to say, she’s not one to be painting a pleasant taste upon your tastebuds.
Their treasurer— Park Jongseong. A very particular but friendly man. He talked and greeted, and did not really keep much to his shell. You got to talk to him before, during a previous meeting of all the vice presidents the clubs in your school who are next in line for the president position.
Speaking of presidents, Yang Jungwon is a man you could rather say you are close to. As not only is he the president of the student council, he is also a part of the journalism club, one which your club assisted in broadcasting. Meetings and gatherings often led the two of you to communicate and eventually, a budding friendship had grown between.
“Everyone, gather round!” Yang Jungwon spoke, his members beside him as he calls the attention of the students. The two of you make eye contact, you give him a small smile, and he offers one back. You saw him often around school, but you don’t really have much of a real reason to talk to him that much yet given there was no collaborative works between the two of you.
“I hope the presidents of each class has done a solid headcount,” Junwon confirms with the rest of the presidents, proceeding once he got the affirmation.
“We got a couple of activities planned for the day before we all take time to rest.” He announces, “Your wristbands given to you are the assigned groups you’ll be working with for today’s activity. You can proceed to team up with them, and each group will be given an assigned facilitator from the student council.”
Your wristband was blue, Rei’s was yellow.
You parted from your best friend, looking around for possible teammates as the students clamoured and shouted, in search of theirs too. Eventually, you spot a group of people in blue wristbands gathering up, you hurried to join up with them.
With a gentle smile, you come and greet them politely. “Hi.”
They say hello back, you settle in a small chatter with your teammates as you wait for the others. After a few minutes, soon enough, your group had finally been complete. You scanned around, looking for Rei… And maybe Riki as well.
“Y/N, I’m here! Goodluck!” Rei shouts from your peripheral vision, you wish her goodluck. Red team… Blue… Green… Black—
Oh.
Your throat felt dry immediately. As if the occurrence at the bus hadn’t been enough, Riki really just had to be at the team where the facilitator is Naomi.
It isn’t a big deal, it really isn’t.
But it had been a sentence that ultimately, had no effect upon your already jealousy filled heart. And much like the gloomy weather that sounded of rain, the same feeling remained.
You make eye contact with Riki, he smiles, holding his thumbs up— asking with his eyes if you are okay. You are about to respond when, “Y/N! You’re in this team?”
You turn around to look at the person, it was Yang Jungwon. With a friendly smile, you nod. “I am! Are you the facilitator?”
Jungwon nods, making small talk that rendered you unable to respond to Riki’s little sign if concern. And eventually, you’d forgotten all about it.
The first team building was simple. Upon receiving enough information from the student council, you found that they had went here a day prior in order to prepare for the activities. The task was straightforward: complete each checkpoint assigned as a team, with the said checkpoint containing a map leading you to your final goal.
Albeit not having the most extroverted personality, you find yourself getting along with your teammates just fine. And, after a few more chatters, a horn finally blew indicating the task had begun.
It was a bit of a chaos, students roaming and shouting around in excitement as you got lost in the depths of their conversation.
It didn’t bother you much, really. Your teammates are a nice bunch, making small talk and jokes. It seemed all of you shared one thing in particular— in no specific mood of being competitive and just enjoying the entire trip. But that hadn’t meant you wouldn’t complete the task, given that Jungwon was your facilitator and he was encouraging everyone like crazy.
“Jungwon are you sure you don’t want to tell us where the checkpoint is?” You ask him, breatheless sighs came upon your lips as you took another step. God, this mountain was hefty.
Jungwon laughs, shaking his head. “No, then that would be no fun, would it?”
A teammate of yours, Kim Sunoo, joins in the conversation. “You’re always no fun! Come on tell us so our team can win.”
It doesn’t take you long before your group began persuading Jungwon into divulging some hints on the whereabouts, but to no avail. He was as sturdy as a rock.
You sigh, taking another step towards the soil, completely unaware of your feet getting stuck on some thorned plant. One foot in, the other falls backward and trips on the soft, mushy soil immediately. Suddenly, you feel a jolting pain pulsing on your ankle and you could not move.
Jungwon was the first to rush to your side, “Hey! Are you alright—”
“Ow.” You groaned.
Your teammates gathered round upon hearing the sudden fall, concerns written among their faces as they fumble and ask if you’re okay. Jungwon holds them back a bit, “Guys, she might need a bit of space right now. Can you stand?” You attempt to, raising your right foot but ultimately failing to do so with the left as the same pain comes crashing through. “Fuck.”
Luckily, Jungwon immediately catches your slightly falling figure within his arms, settling you down a large boulder instead. “Easy there, did you feel something break?” He asks with concern, you shake your head.
“I don’t think so…” The blood that trickled down your calf was evident enough. “I got my pants wrapped around the thorn, it hurts.”
You try not to look like a wuss but the pain that wraps around your calf was immense. It was taking all your power not to cry in front of these people, let alone talk. Jungwon pauses for a minute, contemplating. Then he spoke,
“We’re not that far off from the first checkpoint, you see that light over there—” He points towards a visible light not too far off, “That’s the first checkpoint, you guys continue to go North and we’ll follow after.”
Looks of hesitancy and questioning bubbled around. Sunoo spoke, “We can’t just leave you here, it’s hard to split up in such a place.”
But them staying here would absolutely be useless. You wouldn’t want to jeopardize the team’s chance behind. “I’m okay, we can’t all stay here. You guys go and get our first checkpoint and we’ll meet up soon after.”
“But—”
“I’m fine. I’m sorry, it’s just a small wound, go.” You cover up the bloddong with your right hand, Jungwon comes to your aid, kneeling down and inspecting the wound.
“Sunoo, you go lead the team up, then come back here after.”
Sunoo, looks around, then eventually nods. “Let’s go.”
He leads the team around, the rest of them following him in search of the first checkpoint. Meanwhile, you finally wince and groan meekly in pain. “Can you lift your pants up?”
You nod, lifting part of your calf and showing him the bloodied part. The thorn that you came across upon, was pointed and tall, making it easy to skim through the insides easily. Jungwon nears the wound, touching it ever so slightly. You wince, “That hurts.”
“Sorry,” He says without looking up, grabbing something from his pocket. “I didn’t think an accident would happen here, I forgot my first aid down the cabins…” He mumbles, patting your wound with his handkerchief very delicately.
You protest, “Don’t use your handkerchief.”
He looks at you, “Why?”
“It’ll get dirty and bloodied, I don’t want that.” You mumble, Jungwon merely smiles, “It’s fine.”
“But—”
“I have plenty more, besides, we need to somehow clean up the bleeding.”
Nodding, you argue no further and let him clean up the wound. It wasn’t such a big mark, but it was enough to have Jungwon off the edge and tainted with worry. “You seriously have to be more careful…”
He says, taking something from his pocket once more. A small ointment for wounds. “I thought you didn’t carry your first aid kit?”
“I got a little restless and brought a little something from the first aid kit.”
You chuckle. Always so meticulous and prepared. “I see…” Jungwon folded a piece of his handkerchief, using the other side to dab some of the ointment on.
You suddelt felt something cold fall atop your head, continuous droplets of water cascading down. You reached your hand out— it was raining. What perfect timing. The light droplets soon began to turn into a heavy onset of rain. Jungwon looked up, “I also totally felt it would rain today but I completely disregarded bringing an umbrella.”
He sighs, you stand up slightly, thanking him. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
With a nod, “It’ll heal itself.” You smile towards him. The rain wasn’t letting up anytime soon, soaking your bodies with water as it grew heavier each passing second. The fog and the bluriness suddenly came into light, and the spark that Jungwon once pointed out towards to be the checkpoint, was gone.
“Fuck.” He curses, “I didn’t think the rain would be this heavy.”
“We need to get under a roof or something first.” You hurriedly say, adrenaline rushing in as you took his hand and led him somewhere, “What about the others? They might be looking for us.”
“They have to manage, we might slip or something in this steep place if we don’t get ourselves under something.”
Jungwon eventually agrees, allowing you to take control of his hand and leading him somewhere. Albeit having the placed familiarized with at the back of his mind, he chose not to spoke, chose not to tell you that the others are probably not looking for the two of you and opting to find shelter instead.
He stays quiet and just lets you.
Soon enough, you see a small pile of boulders and rocks not too far off, forming a rather gigantic cave with nothing inside. Deeming it as safe, you entered and checked the surroundings. “Are there like, bears here or something?”
Jungwon laughs, shaking his head. “Nah, at least not that I know of.”
He shakes his hair around like a puppy drying itself, the water hitting your face as you chuckle and smack him, “Careful!”
He laughs along, raking a hand through his hair and sighing. The two of you were soaked beyond belief, your clothes sticking upon your bodies like candy. And well, from your peripheral vision, Jungwon’s shirt clung to his particularly molded abs.
You tried not to take a peek, you really did. You always knew Jungwon was a rather active person, but you never knew he was this active.
“What?”
“Oh? Um—” Your eyes stray upwards, only to find him tilting his head at you innocently. “It’s… Nothing.”
You had to stop thinking like a complete pervert.
“Hey, are you sure you’re okay? Your leg…”
“It hurts but hey, it happens.” You smile at him gently, squeezing the bottom of your shirt to drain some of the water out. Jungwon removes his flannel, putting it down and patting it, “You can sit down if you want.”
You thank him, sitting down and sharing a flannel with Jungwon as you patiently waited for the rain to let up. It had been a comfortable silence, one that was neither heavy nor awkward as the only ruckus the two of you heard was from the pattering rain outside.
Gently heaving a sigh, you hug your knees close to your chest, feeling apologetic. “I’m sorry, Jungwon.”
“Why’re you saying sorry again?”
“Our team got disrupted because of me and now got stuck in this place together because—”
“Hey, don’t say that.”
But you continue, “Because I was careless as hell and it’s—”
“Y/N.” Jungwon says sternly, gaze locking onto yours. His eyes held sincerety and firmness, “Stop saying that, accidents are bound to happen and it’s not a big deal.”
His words doesn’t let you up. A wave of comfort washed over you as pondered over what he said. It hasn’t sinked onto you yet, the subtle glances and hint he shared and offered.
“Thank you then.” You smile at him, Jungwon smiles back.
You hadn’t noticed an hour had passed, aimlessly chatting with him on topics that regarded school and anything casual, really. Jungwon is a nice guy, flowing along a conversation with him and sharing a good laugh wasn’t difficult. He understood too, listening earnestly at your little stories and concerns.
The rain had finally let up, you offer Jungwon to leave the cave and go find the others to which he agrees. He gets his flannel back, and the two of you leave the cave as the the sun rose back in its full glory.
You were laughing about something he said when— “Look, it’s a rainbow.”
You turn to look at the sky. Its colorful hues paunting a beautiful curve, the bright colors of a rainbow coming about. Smiling gently, you walked alongside Jungwon as you looked out the rainbow. “I swear, I thought your team wasn’t gonna make it to the next round.”
Pertaining to one of the sports club matches in taekwondo, you turn to look at Jungwon. It was a few months prior, with their competition being held at your academy and seeing the sparring in full play. Jungwon was one of the players, and that was the first time you ever saw him kick and discover a side out of student council.
Jungwon chuckles, a sheepish grin on his face. “I had like a huge bruise on my cheek after that spar, though. The opponent violated some rules.”
You nod, “I saw that too, good thing you didn’t let him get the best of you.”
Jungwon leads you through a forest of trees, after a few minutes of walking, you finally reached the cabin your school settled upon. The different colored teams were there, some had been soaked just as the two of you were, some held little flags, indicating they reached a particular checkpoint before turning back because of the rain.
Your appearance with Jungwon was no shocking thing, but you feel a presence inching closer towards you as you neared the rest of you group.
“Hey, Y/N.”
You turn to look at the voice, Riki was right in front of you, with eyes you’ve never seen him in before. Was he… concerned?
“What happened to you? Are you okay?”
His gaze fell upon your legs, the calf that had been riddled with ointment and once had blood dripping down. “Chum, let’s take you to the clinic, your wound—”
He kneels, reachinng towards your injury. But you stop him, “Riki, I’m fine, it’s no big wound, just a little scratch.”
“Just a little scratch? You weren’t answering your phone, did something happen?”
You remembered leaving your phone at the cabin, opting not to bring it with you as you might lose it. “I didn’t bring my phone with me…”
“Oh.”
Riki nods, standing up. Once more, you were reminded of just how much his figure towered upon you, and it made you feel a little small. Jungwon remained by your side, casually conversing with some of your group and ensuring the students. The student council worked on crowd control, deciding soon enough to halt the activity first and get the students to freshen up so no such accidents will occur.
Side by side, you walk with Riki on the way to the cabin in silence.
“Y/N!” Jungwon calls from behind you, “I can’t go back with you, is it okay if—”
“It’s okay Jungwon! Thank you for helping me this much, I’ll get myself cleaned up.”
He smiles, nodding along and proceeding to his own things to tend to. Meanwhile, Riki listened to your conversation, his interest piqued. ”Jungwon helped you?”
You nod, grinning. This doesn’t escape him, “We got stuck in some cave during the rain, if it wasn’t for him, I would’ve been badly hurt by now.”
Riki just hums, voice deep and low. The sun was finally beginning to set by now, and the students are heading towards their perspective cabins to freshen up. Thankfully and oddly enough, you shared a cabin with Riki.
“Are you alright now?”
He looks at you, you only nod.
“That’s good, there’s no need for concern then. Looks like already had you under his care.”
You sensed a bit of tension beneath his gaze, the way he let it fall to your sides, to your bruised ankle, and eventually to your face. Riki spoke bitterly, “I’m going.”
Leaving you lost and dumbfounded, Riki leaves and walks on over to his room with no so much as another word. It fazes you, disappointment panging your heart as his broad back faced your eyes.
What was wrong with him?
For the rest of the budding night, you tended to your wounds more carefully with the help of very worried Rei who scolded you on safety and watching your own step. The breeze was already chilly, you had freshened up for the remaining time, so had Rei after the two of you chatted aimlessly. Riki pierced the back of your mind, like a little monster encaged and desperate to be unleashed. He was acting like nothing, like thin air. Concern was evident in his tone, then suddenly it all dissipates and he suddenly doesn’t care?
Eventually, it was time to gather outside for a little bonfire and meal prepared by some of the staffs and teachers. With layers of clothing wrapped around your body, you headed out with Rei.
By the time the two of you are out, Jungwon was already making rounds of each class with the assistance of the teachers to make sure of the headcount of each class. For the night was still early, only announcements were made, the bonfire would begin around midnight when the sky’s hues are completely washed out.
You didn’t seem to take hold of Riki’s eyes though, eventually landing on Jungwon and him giving you a thumbs up. You put your thumbs up too, initiating a little smile.
For the rest of the evening, albeit trying, attempting, to capture Riki’s eyes with yours, nothing seemed to work. He was ignoring you, that much was obvious. The reason why, too. But you know you couldn’t jump to conclusions, knowing full well you had nothing well going on with Riki, much less— Jungwon.
It was a risk of an assumption you weren’t willing to take just yet. It is, of course, just an assumption after all.
10PM hits, and all students were once more called to start the bonfire. It had already been set, with logs circled around the piles of woods to be set on fire. You sat down on one of them, watching as a teacher lights the wood and other materials on fire. A small explosion, one that causes a few of your peers to jitter ever so slightly, but you just stare at the fire, absent-minded.
It didn’t blind your vision when its orange, yellow, and red colors are a lot more closer to your eyes. You just gaped at it like some sort of fish.
“What are you thinking of again?”
Rei asks, picking something from her bag; A little smores kit she’d packed for the two of you. You sighed, “Have you noticed? Riki’s been ignoring me.”
“He has,” Rei picks a stick up, stabbing a marshmallow. “I thought you were fine just a moment ago?”
Shrugging, you took a stick and made one yourself. “Yeah and all of a sudden he just started… Ignoring me.”
Rei picks up and pieces the situation together, from earlier this morning to the present. Then she said, “Oh my gosh.”
“What?”
Rei covers her mouth. shock beyond belief. “The two of you are so stupid.”
You feigned offence, “Okay, now you’re just being rude.”
“No, I mean did you ever notice?”
Rei waits for your statement. Even if you know, you share none and kept your mouth shut. “I know you know, so go talk to hin right now.” Rei knows, as usual.
The beating of your heart goes a little louder at her statement as you consider it, as you consider him.
And when Rei pokes her smores near the campfire as students do the same, she knows you’re no longer beside her in search for the man.
It doesn’t take a genius to wonder where Riki was. He wasn’t inside the cabin, neither was he out enjoying the camp fire. Which meant he probably roamed around a little somewhere, though not too far.
The light on some parts of the mountain was dim, but enough to provide you with sight as you willingly searched for him, a marshmallow and a stick still intact in your hand. What would you begin to even tell Riki? To stop being such an idiot and notice you again? To tell him that, no, whatever he was thinking of was wrong and you wouldn’t dare to think of him that way.
To tell him you absolutely adore the smitten looks on his face whenever—
Crack.
It happened all at once, something exploding and something like an explosion of one’s emotion—
“I like you, Riki.”
Then it showed up, the fireworks, obnioxiously coming into place like you were in some sort of cinematic film.
“I know we haven’t been on such good terms before, but we can continue where we left off and—”
And— nothing at all. Because the next moment, you were no longer eavesdropping. You were stumbling, choking back your tears as you stood on heavy ground with a heavy heart. Your footsteps felt like tumbling and stepping on tons of weight as it plodded through the thick grass and soil. You didn’t care that they’d possibly heard you.
There was nothing mistaking it. That was definitely Kazu Naomi. It was definitely her, Naomi’s soft, gentle, heart in her sleeve— confessing to Nishimura Riki. Nothing else mattered anymore, you weren’t going around to stick to whatever it is he had to say anymore. What else was there to see?
At the ripe age of fifteen, everyone deemed it to be the perfect little time to be loved and to love.
Blossoming through the ripe seasons of spring when everything began anew, for some odd reason, you never find yourself aching for that same desire at the age of fifteen.
Until you met him, of course.
It was just a short-lived moment, one that could pass as forever.
The gym was noisy with the dribbles of heavy ball and the scraping of the shoes. You were not inside, rather, outside of the gym chatting away with Rei and striding alone.
And just like any other typical highschool romance, his ball had to come in play.
Nearly hitting you, Rei once turned around to scream go to hell to whoever threw it. Out came Nishimura Riki, a fellow schoolmate. He was the same level, same grade, and year as you.
His apology barely scraped as a whisper, a short, “Sorry.” Before heading back in with the ball in his hand.
Such a petty though, he was cute.
Though during the course of a strange destined interactions, you find him to be quite the opposite. He wasn’t avoiding saying sorry, simply just thinking the barely audible sorry would be enough. That was his trait, his feature which made him had this mysterious aura around him.
Nishimura Riki was no stranger to attention. He always did well in his sports, had the face to pass as a model, and the unique, mischevious vibe around him which made people adore and become curious of his nature. He shared what was necessary, choosing to respond with, “Cool, mmhm, yeah, s’good.” every single time, in situations where he had to agree.
It bundled all together, the bitterness for refusing to be in love at such a young age, and budding into something of a hopeless romantic.
And really, that was where it all began.
You were thinking now, though, that this right here might be the moment where everything actually ends. It felt way worse than when Riki left without a word and explanation, it felt way worse because the situation in the end made you realise that every twist and turn would progress to absolutey nowhere because Nishimura Riki is already here.
Right now, though, the two of you are blatantly ignoring each other.
It all started all the way home upon witnessing their scene, from then on, everything dismaying thing soon followed. You ignored him, he ignored you. As petty as it sounds, that was how the situation came to be. Your tutor sessions? Bullshit. He doesn’t come anymore, you don’t ask about it, either.
Everything was back to where it used to be, where Riki used to be out of the picture.
One moment, as you were doing your daily tasks in your club room and reading some love letters from the box, a certain bright red envelope piqued your interest. It had that certain allure and brightness that made it stand out amongst other letters, it was scented too.
Curious, you open the envelope and read it.
“A situational problem goes like this—”
What an interesting way to begin a love letter.
“Being interested in someone, but you have not yet pursued the idea of a serious relationship. Then all of a sudden, everything bursts and you go jealous over another and ignore them becauss of your petty emotions. What do you do?”
That was the end of the letter. No confession, no emotions pouring out. Just… A problem waiting to be solved.
“Well, this was a pretty short letter,” You say into the speaker as you analyze the content, “Hmm. Let’s say you were ignoring that person because of jealousy, does a person know you are jealous in the first place?”
You continue, “The first thing I thought of is to immediately make sure there is no misunderstanding involved in any sort of situation possible. So, you can ask them if there’s a problem, and if there is, you explain as best as you can. Jealousy is inevitable and ensuring that maybe your future partner does not overthink, then you explain regardless of your status in the relationship. We don’t want to break the trust now, do we?”
You ended the problem with a bit more solutions, stating some unlabeled personal problems of your own. And after reading a few more letters, you finally got ready to pack up and leave for class.
“Would you get mad at me if I said I was jealous?”
Fucking— Wha—
“Oh my gosh! You scared me!”
It hadn’t occur to you that somehow, Riki sneaked his way inside the room. He was standing in plain sight, in front of you. Uniform unbuttoned, hair disheveled and wet as if he’d just gotten out of a game. His breath shook a bit, but his presence toward you remained unnerved.
He repeats his question, “Would you get mad at me if I said I was jealous?”
“Riki what’s this all about, I need to go to class—hey!” You attempt to bypass him, but he holds your wrist before you had the chance to do so, his figure leaning downward and you visibly panicked.
He was eye to eye now, holding both your wrists with one hand as he waited for your answer. God, the distance was insufferable, it wasn’t too close but it was close enough to have his breath fanning over your face. Not to mention, his glossed eyes which awaited for an answer.
“Let go of me, I need to get to class.” You protest.
“So? We’ll both be late together.”
You gasped and attempted to smack him with your constrained wrist, his laughter bubbling and reaching your ears like melody. “You’re not answering my question.”
“Ah…”
You think about it for a moment, piecing the puzzle piece by piece. Was he the one who wrote the letter?
“Are you… jealous though?”
“I am. I really am.”
What?
“Was that your letter?”
Riki deadpans, then laughs, shaking his head. “My letter? No, I wouldn’t do something like that it’s—”
He sighs, “It’s stupid. Yes it was mine.”
“Huh?!”
Slowly, Riki comes closer. Closer, closer, closer, until his head rests atop your shoulders and his nose nuzzled upon your neck. The action made shivers run down your spine, a gesture that was too close for comfort and had your fingers hesitating and your body on edge.
Riki gently places your hands down, taking one in each of his hand and caressing it gently as the sweet scent of your neck comes rushing down upon him.
“God, you drive me crazy, you know that?”
“How…”
“I haven’t stopped liking you since I disappeared, I just couldn’t forget you and—”
He sighs, “I hope you know what you’re doing.”
“Riki what do you mean…?”
“I get jealous so easily it’s driving me insane.”
Something about his words knocked something within you, his fingers deattached from your wrist down to your waist where he hesitantly wrapped his arms around, only to pull back. “It’s okay.”
You reassure him, he places his grip back on your waist, yet leaving a safe distance. “Do you like Jungwon?”
What?!
“What do you mean? What does Jungwon have to do with this…”
“Do you like him?”
You answer immediately, “Romantically? No. He’s Just a friend, Riki.”
You feel Riki’s constrained breath sigh ever so carefully, as if that weight was upon his shoulders for a little while now, as if he’d been thinking of asking that for years, just waiting for the perfecr opportunity.
“Then it’s okay if I’m doing this, right?”
Riki tightens his group around your waist, pulling you dangerously closer. Riki’s scent engulfed your nose, he was all you felt, all you smelled.
“That I’m holding you like this…”
His fingers then came upon your cheeks, caressing it, “Touching you like this…”
He pulls his head back, looking into your eyes with a glossed gaze, “Looking at you like this…”
“Keeping you close like this?”
He rubs the small of your back with his thumb, the way he moves make everything so electric. You know it was second nature to him to speak this way, to act this way. It wasn’t anything new, but it still sent shivers down your spine.
“I don’t know Riki… What are you doing..?”
Riki finally lets go, you fought the urge to frown at the loss of his touch. He stuffs his hands into his pants pockets, “That time at the trip, I saw the way Jungwon looks at you, the way he cares for you, chum.”
His nickname for you was finally back. You internally squealed, you might have pounced upon him if not for your self control. “And it’s stupid but it made me terribly upset.”
You half expected this much, but to hear him actually say it outloud was different. Nishimura Riki was no vocal man, and if this was all it took to get him to act, honestly, it made you a little bit pleased.
Scratch that, it made you very pleased.
“It did?”
Riki nods, “It really did.”
And when his fingers held loose from his pockets, shifting from his head to your cheeks, Riki squeezed your cheeks the the point where it hurt and you had to slap his hand away to stop.
“I guess I’ll see you later at the library again?”
Three months since school started, and no one else has been the apple of your eye.
It was an endless little routine that garnered— You tutored Riki at the library every other day now, given that he had to prioritize his game at basketball and training too.
Something changed between the two of you, though.
It was subtle, unnoticeable by those who rarely observed. Yet people saw it, the way Riki pats your head whenever you pass by him in the hallway, the way he would so very obviously sneak out during lunch time to have shared moments with you at the radio club room whenever you were there, the way he would call you chum in front of a large crowd.
It was going slow, maybe too slow for the likes of others. But Riki never strayed too far in terms of actions, keeping his boundaries present and built up. Still thinking of you, always thinking of you. In words though, his flirting was way too evident.
And when it came to messaging? You couldn’t let go of your phone. Besides class, whenever you had the time, the two of you would message one another and send random memes and bring up random topics to talk about. He called once, when he needed help with a problem and that ended up in a call that lasted for hours. Though there was no more incident following that.
This, perhaps however may be one of the moments where the unlabeled something between the two of you where it will be obvious.
You think, as you sit atop your bed and message the person who’s been occupying your mind:
Riki: chum what time are you coming to my game?
You: I’m all ready, maybe once the game starts? So it’s not too noticeable.
Riki: silly its about to start in a few minutes
You jumped from your bed, quickly putting on your shoes.
Riki: and also, melon or pineapple?
You: What’s this about? Definitely melon.
Riki’s icon pops up at your screen, a picture of him when he was a cute little child. Surprised, you click to answer his call.
“Yes?”
You hear shuffling, Riki’s screen was black, then it shifted and his face was now showing. He was wearing his jersey, the muscles of his arms peeked just a little as he held the phone up to his face. “Hi Chum.”
“Hey, don’t you have a game in a few? I’m on the way out now.” You held your phone to your face as well as you exit your house. “I just missed you, is all.”
His words made you shift your phone from your face to some random pavement. Riki chuckles, “Where are you chum? I’m just kidding.”
“You have to stop saying jokes like that…” You mumble as you refocus the phone back to your face, “Why? Cause it gets you, no?”
“Riki! Stop it!” You want to slap him so bad right now.
“Okay, okay I’ll stop!” Riki snorts, someone shouting could be heard from behind him, Riki responds before turning back to you, “I’m just making sure you’re coming to my game pretty girl.”
Pretty girl, chum— god, you’ll explode if he calls you that one more time. When Riki starts using something, he never lets go of it. Which in this case, was his too strong of a nickname for you.
“Why wouldn’t I be? It’s your game, of course I would.”
You see him pause for a moment before he grins, “I’ll see you here then, yeah?”
You nod, “I’ll see you.”
“I have to go chum! I’ll wait for you here.”
You bid goodbye to him. Riki thought he pressed the end call, putting his phone down on his bag. Confused, you peek a little closer at the screen only to hear someone speak from the other end.
“Who was that?”
“Just my pretty girl, she’s coming to my game.”
Oh and fuck, you never ended the call so quickly in your life.
“Y/N! Wow I never imagined to see you at a basketball game.”
It was pretty noisy, the large bustling and hustling of the crowd. The game had already started, you were a little late. Rei isn’t one to be interested in such crowds, but for the sake of you, she went and tagged along.
Someone’s voice chimed from behind, it was Jungwon, along with Sunoo, Sunghoon, Naomi, and Jongseong. You smiled sheepishly, greeting them. “It’s my first time actually!”
“You’ve never watched a match of Decelis Academy basketball team before?” Sunoo asks, plopping a popcorn down his mouth as all of you settle on some bleachers not too far away. “No, it’s not really much of an interest of mine.”
Jongseong spoke, “What made you want to watch it then?”
“Oh, it’s—” You hesitated to say it outloud. Riki? Should you tell them it was Riki?
“Chum, I’m glad you made it.”
All of you turn to look around the owner of his voice, it was Nishimura Riki. Was it even possible to say that he looked more delicious up close? Someone of his nature, looking all sweaty from all the warm ups, his cheeks flushed a bit of red, his jersey labeled number ten. And gosh, his biceps— his biceps!
“Riki!” Naomi beams, something within you tingles in alert. They all greet him, Sunghoon, Jungwon, Sunoo, and Jay bumping their bodies with Riki as a friendly bro thing.
The whole entire thing with Naomi confessing months before, you only treated as some sort of fever dream for the sake of your sanity. It happened, but you pretended it hadn’t. You’ve not been feeling much of her for the past two months around Riki, it was better that way.
Every moment she does though, it’s like your system is on high alert.
Riki gives a little acknowledgment to Rei and Naomi, but his focus and eyes remained at you as he neared with an exciting grin. “Hi.” He says once he was face to face and once again, towering over you.
“Hi, I thought you were starting already?” Came your breathless response,
“I just wanted you to come a little faster.” Riki grins at his cheekiness. “Here,” He was already holding something as he got to the bleachers, he hands it to you. It was two pieces of melon bread, along with some milk you always got at the vending machine and a small, singular rose that was crocheted and wrapped ever so beautifully.
You beamed, feeling flustered all of a suden at the eyes of your friends which kept its attention on you and Riki. You were speechless, simply taking the items from his hands.
Riki had always been really sweet over his actions whenever the two of you alone, but to to be this bold was much of a surprise. “T-thanks…”
To your surprise, Sunghoon squeals a little, “Damn! You’re actually like, not afraid anymore.”
Riki gives him a glare, Jongseong chuckles, “Tough kid all grown up.” He ruffles Riki’s hair. Over the course of a few weeks, these boys have come to grown closer and more intact with their friendship. Prior to Riki leaving, he wasn’t really intent on making much friends.
“He’s actually trying to be a gentleman now.” Rei teases.
Riki grumbles, rolling his eyes at how they treat him like a kid. Jungwon simply just smiles and agrees to the context of whatever the text was. He never responds when something like this happens, he never teases nor does he join in either. Likewise with Naomi, content with short laughs and smiles.
“Ugh, whatever. I have to go, see you guys after my game?” Riki bids farewell, he then pats your head. “See ya, chum.”
And he smiles, leaving once more to go to the field where his teammates were all preparing for the game.
“You know…” Naomi suddenly starts, her tone unusually quite just for you to hear. She looks at you, a glossy tint on her eyes. She looked like she was about to cry. “That time at the field trip, I think you know what happened—”
You quickly cut her off, “Oh, no, no. I happened to stumble upon it but I didn’t eavesdrop into the conversation, don’t worry.”
“I know, I think it’s right if tell you anyways.”
You furrow your brows, why now of all times? Besides, you’d already let that part go and choose not to dwell on something so insignificant any longer.
“That time I confessed to him at the trip,” Naomi’s voice got impossibly smaller, she fumbles with her shirt. “I told him I really liked him. You know what he told me?”
From your peripheral vision, you see a sliver of Jungwon listening in cautiously.
“What?”
She looks at you and chuckles, “That he doesn’t see something happening between us and he was just focused on getting your heart back.”
You no longer had time to response as a loud whistle and horn erupted from the crowd signalling the game was about to begin.
“Decelis Academy vs The Tigers!”
The athletes of Decelis Academy enters, it wasn’t a home court for either athletes, but the cheers for Decelis Academy was loud and booming. Some even held their banners of the team proudly. From the corner of your eye and ear someone screams— Nishimura Riki go! So delicious and so good!
Weird ass much?
You opted to ignore some of the cheers, keeping your eye on one number and one number only— ten.
If Naomi’s words held some truth in them, Nishimura Riki definitely succeeded in getting your heart back and this time, you’ll definitely let him know.
The game eventually started with Decelis Academy claiming the ball and bouncing it to their side of the court. One of the students— 01. Lee Heeseung was it? He passes the ball to another you don’t know who student, but being barricaded by two students from the oposing team. The student eventually passes the ball to Riki knowing he was trapped, Riki catches the ball with ease and shoots a three point.
All of you screamed and shouted, jumping around so excitedly for the point. It’s not like it was his first point ever, but something about seeing it so close up for the first time— Riki playing and all, ignited something within you. You grinned, finding yourself too giddy whenever he scored a point, and pouting whenever he got knocked over and blocked by the opposing team.
It wasn’t even a matter of you supporting the team anymore.
“Unfair much?” Rei teases, observing your very tense posture as you wait for Riki to catch another three pointer. Riki shoots it with such a precision, his hand must have a ruler or something like that.
“Whoooo!!!” You screamed and jumped and jumped, your excitement being the center of attention to your group of friends. You see Riki looking around a bit, eventually catching your eye. He runs to the opposite side of the court in a silly way, giving you a little grin.
Sunoo smiles, “I think you’ll be coming to more basketball games more often.” He attempts to scream through the noise, Sunghoon chuckles. “She’s definitely got the spirit.”
The match eventually ends with Decelis Academy leading a few points more than those tigers, and when it was time to gather up, all of you collectively agreed to congratulate Riki and Heeseung (he was apparently a friend of Jungwon.)
“Congratulations!” All of you beam at the same time, Heeseung and Riki were drained in sweat, barely even having the time to muster before the boys came in and engulfed them in a warm hug. Through protests and groans, the two eventually gave in to the embrace. The three of you just stand back, chatting along some other topics as you waited for them to finish their conversation.
Falling into a conversation with Naomi wasn’t hard, you’ve always been friendly and close with her even before. But maybe, the views have changed a little bit.
After few topics and sharing laughs with the group, the two eventually had to part and go their separate ways. Jungwon, Jongseong, Sunoo, and Sunghoon bid their farewells, you had a very positive feeling this wouldn’t be the last time you’ll see nor technically hang out with them.
Naomi too, had to go and leave. Eventually, it was just you and Riki left as Rei had went to the bathroom for a little while. Riki insisted on walking you over to the bus stop while his team got ready on their own bus. So, it was just you beside him, shoulder to shoulder.
The silence was deafening, Riki wasn’t really speaking much at all. “I hope Rei comes soon, the bus might come over any moment.” You try and fill in the void.
Riki simply nods. The unnerving quiteness lasts for a few seconds before he says, “Hey um, chum— would you mind if we go out a bit later at night?”
You paused in your tracks, “Go out? Where?”
“I kind of want to—” Riki scratches the back of his head sheepishly, “treat you to a little something as a thank you for watching my match.”
“As a thank you? It’s okay, you don’t—”
“What I’m trying to say here is I’m asking you out tonight if that’s okay.” Riki finally goes straight to the point, twisting his body so now, he faced you. Suddenly, you feel your heart pumping louder and louder, stumbling out, “You’re— um— what? Asking me out?”
Riki nods. “If that’s okay chum? I mean it’s fine if—”
“No! No, I would love to. Where do you want to go?”
“There’s a cute coffee shop around your neighborhood nearby, let’s go there?”
“S-sure, what time do you want to go?”
“Is six pm okay?” You nod, looking into his eyes shyly. Riki smiles, you see the way his face lights up as his fingers squeezed your cheeks, “Great. I’ll come pick you up?”
“Okay.”
”Okay.” He pats your head, “See you later pretty girl?”
“Mmh. See you later.”
Riki eventually leaves once Rei comes back, she sees your flustered face, “I’m hoping he hasn’t kissed you out here in broad daylight.”
You smacked her arm, hiding away your tomato cheeks, “Stop! It wasn’t he just— asked me out.”
“Finally!” Rei beams surprisingly, the bus arrives shortly after and you continue your conversation as you go inside. There’s one thing you’ve been curious of with Rei ever since this whole thing happened.
“Rei can I ask you something?”
She hums, “You know Riki is a bit more of a trouble maker and all that. You find him rowdy right?” She nods at your statement, “I find it that you don’t harbor any certain ill feelings towards Riki, why’s that?”
Rei deadpans, looking at you with her face flat. “Are you kidding me?” She asks, as if the question was too ridiculous to even answer. “I have hundreds of ill feelings towards that boy! Look at how he ghosted you all of a sudden, and how he doesn’t care about his grades and how—”
You immediately cut her off, “I’m sorry! Nevermind! The question was too ridiculous to ask.”
If you’d pressed on further and maybe attempted to defend Riki, in the end, it would end up with Rei being on the winning end. Rei was naggy, but she was right most of the time. Rei sighs, leaning back into the bus chair.
“I talked to him one time after your entire argument and ignoring each other stage.” She says, pertaining to where you and Riki had blatantly ignored each other after the field trip.
You gasped, “You what?”
“I talked to him.” She repeats, matter-of-factly.
“Why?”
“You guys were dragging it more than it needed to be, I tried and talk to you but you wouldn’t budge. So naturally, Riki wouldn’t budge either.” You stay silent, Rei continues, “You looked so miserable you know? And every time I see Riki pass by, he always had this frown on his face and I could more or less guess why.”
“So I talked to him about it, and I told him what he really thinks of you.”
You hesitated before asking, “…. What does he really think of me?”
“He said he doesn’t want to lash out his jealousy on you so he chooses to stay silent for a little while during the trip. Then, you started completely ignoring him on the way home. Which is, the two of you are completely stupid, I can see that from this standpoint.” Rei rolls her eyes, “But— Riki had always really been the nonchalant person, so to see him say something like that was new for me too.”
“Riki said he didn’t know what to do because he doesn’t want to lose you but he doesn’t want to feel like controlling you either knowing how much he’d hurt you in the past. So, I gave him a little push to give you that letter in the Love Box. I never imagined he would actually do it, but the way he did it was really childish and not even secretive in any way.”
You chuckle, remembering the moments a few months back. It was, indeed childish, very Riki. “I guess that’s part of his charms, though. Very straightforward and monotonous. Regardless, that time when I talked to him, it didn’t seem like he was lying with his intentions with you so I’ll give him the free pass— for now.”
The last part felt more like a threat than comfort on your end, but your heart swooned anyways, placing the pieces of puzzle together inside your head. One piece, being from Rei’s personality of keeping you safe and well attended to in any matter, the other, finally clearing up the misunderstanding that had jumbled and racked your mind. And finally, the last piece being Nishimura Riki.
You had a clear vision of what you want to say to him now, what to tell him.
It was stupid, as Rei would always tell you. Regardless of it being stupid, dumb, chaotic or what not, one thing remained certain in a sea full of doubts— you like Riki and he likes you back.
Your parents would always tell you to absolutely, no matter what, one hundred percent— not have a boy over at home whenever no one was around.
But the sudden disappearance of your parents, only leaving you with a sudden chat of, ‘your grandma is sick, we’ll come back tomorrow!’ tells you it wasn’t really your fault.
Well, it partly is.
And it was partly Riki’s too.
You were just nervous, is all. Plus, Riki wasn’t even going to your house, he was just there to literally pick you up. What was there to worry about?
Everything.
It was currently 5:50 PM, ten minutes before Riki arrives. It felt like your skirt was a bit too tight around your waist (it was not), your necklace felt like it was choking you to death (it was just you), your top felt like it was too… little? You were just anxious at this point.
Your cat comes around, perhaps sensing your distressed state. She rubs her face around your leg, an action you find absolutely adorable as worried dissipated momentarily.
Then, you feel your phone ping, you quickly opened to see and check the message.
Riki: pretty girl are you all ready?
You: Yes!
Riki: oki im almost near ur house
You: Okay, I’m not sure if I dressed up enough…
Riki: you’re pretty either way, doesn’t matter
You: Girl.
Gosh, you’d punch Riki in the gut if you had the chance. The way he states something so easily like that is what surprises you every time, now you were even more conscious with your attire! What you wore wasn’t even bad, a cargo skirt paired with a similar jacket and a tube top. Your shoes were just loafers, comfortable enough for the walking.
Maybe you were just overstimulated considering this was technically the first date.
Ding.
Speaking of the first date, you hear the doorbell chime in and you hurriedly came down from your bedroom, nearly tumbling upon your own two feet as you did so. You opened the door, you honestly wish you hadn’t and just kept it closed.
“Hi chum.”
Riki’s dressed in all black. He wore tattered denim pants and white shoes, it was paired with a graphic tee and denim jacket. His hair was tousled slightly, indicating it had been a bit styled, lips parted to greet you in a gentle manner. It seemed he was into accessories too, with the way it adorned his neck and waist, dangling about.
You definitely should have kept the door closed.
“Hi.” Came your breathless response.
Though, the better response would be— how in the world did you go from dressing like an emoji to a literal fashion icon?
Weird, something’s beating and it’s definetely your heart.
“Ready to go?” Riki asks, you nod and exit your house. “Oh, I haven’t introduced myself to your parents yet.”
You shrug, “They’re not really around today, they’re at my grandmas… Maybe tomorrow?” You turn and lock the door. With the way you had suggested it, it seemed like you were suggesting him to come back tomorrow and visit you. Regardless, Riki does not bring it up and only smirks in response.
“I’ll greet them tomorrow, then. And see? I was right, you look pretty whatever you wear.”
“Can I punch you.”
Riki chuckles. “I’m not teasing you.”
The sun had already began to set as you walk side by side with Riki, there was a deafening silence in the air following his flirty responses, similar to when he walked with you at the bus stop a couple hours prior. It was killing you, what was he thinking of?
“So… Where’s the coffee shop you wanted us to try?” You couldn’t bear the stillness any longer. Riki only grins, patting your head. “Just a few minutes walk away, do you trust me?”
You nod slowly, but there was mischief in his eye. Riki smiles, unconsciously or perhaps willingly— he took your fingers within his grasp and started walking a little faster.
Warm. That was what his hand felt like. Slightly calloused from all the basketball he’s been playing, but it was gentle and calm with the way he held your hand. Perhaps willingly once more, he intertwined your fingers with his and walked along as if it was nothing. His back was facing you, and once again, you couldn’t see what he his expression was.
Yet, the subtle twitch of his touch proved a little something, and the redness of the tip of his ears was more than enough to let you know Riki was nervous.
You didn’t let go of his hand, albeit it feeling like your whole body was about to explode. Often times, it felt like you were outright tiptoeing with Riki, reaching the verge of acting like a couple yet you were not. It was risky and dangerous, something you hoped would end by the end of the night.
You hoped he felt the same too.
After a few minutes of walking, the two of you eventually reach a lit up cafe. Riki enters, you follow suite, given he did not let go of his grasp on you. The outside felt a little small, but the inside was definitely different.
It was a grassy little field, with an abundance of trees surrounding the counter where you are made to order. What makes it different is the fact that the trees were large and sturdy, each tree having two to three treehouses built upon them. The inside of the treehouse looked spacious too, lit up with some LED lights on the inside.
The entire placed looked like a fairy garden, in all honesty.
Something that came out of a fairytale, like a place for little elves for there were so many trees. Some trees had lights hanging upon their leaves, a few seats were seated at the shade of those trees too. Quiet a few people occupied the seats, and it made you wonder how he came to know of this place.
“I didn’t know something like this existed near our neighborhood?!” You gaped like a little kid buying a doll for the first time, Riki chukles at your reaction. “You never go out save for when there’s school.”
Pouting, you nod along. Riki wasn’t lying, outsides perhaps just wasn’t really your thing.
“It’s— it’s beautiful, wow!”
You were too busy admiring to notice that you were right in fromt of the counter, a nice lady who had piercings, colored hair, and similar clothes to Riki took your order. There were quite a few baristas, each one having a different style than the next as if their avatars were that customizable. Probably college students who took arts and design.
“What do you want to get pretty girl?” Riki urges you as she smiles as the staff who swoon over his face. You ignore it, shrugging, “Anything is fine for me.”
“Hmm, is a latte fine?” Riki suggest, you agree and he orders ahead. Completely ignoring what he was even ordering, you kind of just admired such ethereal place that existed right before your eyes. You definitely had to come to this place more often, and you had to come out for more in general, really.
Once Riki finished his order, he asked if there was a treehouse available. The staff nodded, pointing to quite a few. He thanks the staff and held your hand once more to guide you to one of them. “This is so magical, Riki, wow! It’s—”
“Pretty isn’t it?” Riki looks at you with a smug grin, as if he’d plan the mos top notch date of your life. And he has, he probably will continue to do so. “I can’t believe I don’t even know this was just around our neighborhood.
“I like to explore places, I happen to have found this place while—” Riki stops middway, “Nevermind.”
While he contemplated visiting you on the way home from one of his games.
“What is it?” You urge him, “It’s nothing.” He says back. You choose not to pry, eventually reaching one of the treehouses and entering it. The space was lole any childhood dream, tapestries of random posters, board games, a mini record player, a small table and color mats decorated the treehouse. It was bright too, with the way the LED lights hang dimly. You sat on the mat, crossing your legs. Riki, somehow manages to do the same given his height. He was cramped though.
“You’re too tall.” You giggle.
“Yeah?” He just chuckles, trying to fit is oddly long legs. Riki sits beside you, rather than across you, a gesture you appreciated a little more than you’d like. “Wanna play some card games?” He offers, you agree with excitement and watch as he pulls out an uno.
“Uno? I’ll have you know, I’m pretty good at that game.” You boast.
“Really? So am I.”
Riki’s competitiveness allowed him to win a single match, you challenged him for another because you know he’ll tease you relentlessly and put his victory over your head for a while. You were on the verge to winning, when the food came in and Riki used the excuse of— needing to eat— because he was hungry.
You grumble. “That’s so unfair.” Riki pokes your cheek, laughing at he put a piece of fry in his mouth. “I won! Ha!”
But all disappointment faded away when he feeds you a piece of fry. Riki ordered quite a bunch, a couple of meals and sides as well as your drinks. “Riki, I’ll pay half of the food. How much—”
“Wow this chicken is delicious, try it.” He feeds you a piece of the chicken, you hesitantly chew on it.
“How much do I—”
“Ooh! My latte is pretty good too, want a sip?” Riki quickly places the straw to your mouth, waiting for you to sip but you don’t. It was clear what he’s trying to do here. “I swear, Nishimura Riki—”
“Are these cheese on the fries? They’re so cheesy! Geez, have another one.”
You didn’t even have time to speak when he was already plopping the fry on your mouth and you had no other choice but to chew on it. “I seriously can’t believe you.”
At this point, he was just being a dork. Riki snorts, taking your hand in his once again and kissing the back of it with ease. A gentleman, tempting, dork, that is.
Riki smiles, caressing your hand with his thumb as he shrugs. “It’s always on me, pretty girl.”
“But I can’t—”
“Just this once? Please?” Riki turns on that puppy eyes, a capability of his you never knew he could do. Adorable. With a sigh, you agree, “I’ll pay for it next time, okay?”
He grins, “There’s no guarantee in that, chum.”
For a few more hours, you spent your time, heart and stomach full from the stories and the food you and Riki shared.
“I’m stuffed, my gosh.” A little rub of your belly was all it took for Riki to chuckle. Chatting away mindlessly paired with food was not really such a good combo. “Me too, how was the food?”
“Are you seriously asking me that right now?” Riki tilts his head, you roll your eyes. “After I just ate my ass off here! But thank you, Riki.” You grin at him, thankful for him being ever so generous. This was, beytechnicality, your first date after all.
“I’m glad, pretty girl.” Is all Riki says before the two of you turn to leave the treehouse and the cafe all at once after parting with sad goodbyes. You’d have to come here more often, and with Riki as your accompanin for the next few times.
The sun had already been long gone the moment you left the cafe, with nothing but the street lights decorating the pavements. It was unfortunately, very cold. Cold enough to have your legs shivering and your thin cargo jacket aim uneffective. Riki noticed this, taking off his own thick jacket and wrapping it around your shoulders. It was twice your size.
“Oh, no, Riki it’s okay—”
“Keep it, chum.” Riki cuts you off, you simply nod to his statement, not refusing the warmth his jacket provided. Oh, and the scent of his perfume too. The two of you walk around aimlessly side by side, fingers and shoulders brushing past each other dangerously. No one spoke, until you broke the silence,
“Riki, I—”
“Y/N, I—”
“Ah, you go first.”
“Alright well um, thank you for today Riki. I really appreciated the treat, and—”
It seemed the universe worked in your favor, as the moment you spoke, the park you walked over to lit up with bright lights. It was cold, but the warmth of Riki’s shoulders provided shelter to your shivering body. You stood below a tree— a cherry blossom tree — where it’s pink hues fell with such certainty. A pile of the petals had collected below your feet, with the way the light shown, it honestly felt like you were the main character of a romance drama.
“For this, for everything, the past few months you’ve been treating me so well and kind.”
“It’s because I want to make up for the time I’ve lost.” This time, Riki faced you. He met your sincere face confessing to your heart’s content. “For the time I just disappeared without a trace, I want to make up for that, pretty girl.”
You chuckle, “You already have.”
It was but a subtle movement, Riki moves a tad bit closer. “But that’s besides the point. Thing is, I really— I like you Riki. It’s hard when my feelings are all jumbled and I’m still scared to fall in love, but I won’t deny the fact that I really like you.”
And he moves closer, “And?”
“And I know I may not be the most perfect person, I’m a bit of a mess at times and you—” Riki gently places his hand on your cheeks, shushing you. “Don’t say that.”
“But it’s true, people admire you a lot while I—”
“And I admire you a million times more than those people, Y/N.”
Riki sees you as a whole, the bigger picture to his puzzle pieces. Someone who, despite tumbling across the world’s inevitable problems, manages to stand her ground and keep her stance. Someone who never ran away from the things people throw at you, someone who despite being wronged for hundreds of times, you always find the forgiveness in the depths of your heart.
If not for that, Riki wouldn’t be standing here right now in front of you, with the same look of pure admiration in his eyes. If not for that, Riki wouldn’t even had the chance to get back on his own two feet to keep you close to him, to hold you.
“Really?”
“Really.”
You ease into his touch, Riki moves impossibly closer.
“Can I say something?”
“Yeah?”
“I like you too, pretty girl.”
Closer, closer, until— “Can I kiss you?”
But it was more of a statement than a question because the moment you finish mumbling a breathless yes, his lips were already on yours.
It came in so suddenly, one minute you can feel the fanning of his breath, the next, all you can feel was the plump lips of his pushing against yours. The kiss was shy, hesitant even. Riki held firm, pressing just a tad bit more as his fingers caressed your supple cheeks. It was like electricity with maximum voltage, his touch kept you intact and addicted. The way he held you like you were a fragile, porcelain doll made you feel like jelly in his touch. One of hands snaked around your waist, pulling you closer if that was even possible.
Your mind was in a daze, too lost on reciprocating his feather lips and too hung up on the fact that Riki was actually kissing you. Like silly little highschoolers, like silly little kids— he kissed you just like that.
It wasn’t heated, nor was it filled with desire. It was just— breath taking in a way that your lips molded together and was filled with nothing but love and unspoken emotions for the past few years. Sweet his lips were, firm were his hands upon you. When the two of you eventually ran out of breath, he parts his lip from yours ever so slightly and connects his forehead with yours.
You did not believe that just happened.
“Was that— was that okay?”
Riki asks, but with the way he was clutching you close made you get the feeling that it was more than just okay on his end. You nod shyly, cowering away. But Riki laughs, gripping your fingertips which attempted to cover your flushed cheeks,
“Pretty girl…”
He kisses your forehead, “Is it safe to assume I’ve won your heart again?”
*:·゚✧*:·゚✧ END *:·゚✧*:·゚✧
Extras!
The start of April symbolized new beginnings, the end of March wraps every chapter up.
“For the last song recommendation, I’ll be playing fifteen by Taylor Swift.”
Fingers grasp the rough CD, perhaps the last one you’ll ever touch in such a place— your school for four years. It leaves a bittersweet feeling down your stomach, but you clutch the pain and let the music roll in.
You take a deep breath And you walk through the doors It's the morning of your very first day
“Today is the last day of the Seniors in Decelis Academy, and this day marks their graduation.”
You say hi to your friends you ain't seen in awhile Try and stay out of everybody's way
“As we seniors part way to head towards a brighter future, may all learnings imparted upon us be used in the near future.”
It's your freshman year And you're gonna be here for the next four years In this town
“For all students of this Academy, thank you for sticking by and supporting the Love Box, future officers will hold the name of this box and continue our practice.”
Hoping one of those senior boys Will wink at you and say "You know I haven't seen you around, before"
“And this is the President of the Radio Club, signing off.”
'Cause when you're fifteen And somebody tells you they love you You're gonna believe them
“May all your dreams and aspirations come true, students of Decelis Academy!”
You lower the volume of your mic down and let the music play. Fifteen when you first entered highschool, fifteen when you fell in love for the first time. You look around the Radio Club room, feeling pride and sadness swell in your stomach.
Then the bell rang. It was time to part and finally graduate.
“Let’s go chum?”
Someone knocks from the door.
It was time to graduate with him alongside you.
You turn to him, a somber expression on your face. Riki nears you, he holds his diploma tube in one hand. This was the first time you’ve seen him in prim and proper uniform, it suited him way more than his disheveled, improper look. He looked handsome, and you could tell he thought you were pretty too, with the way his eyes sparkled.
And when you're fifteen Feeling like there's nothing to figure out
“You done with the announcements?” He asks, gently moving a stray of hair away from your face. “I’ll miss this place.”
“I know you will, chum.” He grins, fishing something out from his pocket. It was a brown paper, perhaps coffee-coated to achieve the vintage look. Its edges were also burnt, “What’s this?”
Riki urges you to read it, you open the paper.
It read:
“I’m not good with letters, I’m not good with words, so excuse this silly excuse of a letter. But this is for you, chum. The person I admire most since I was fifteen, the person I’m glad I got to meet. As we enter a new path together, we don’t really know what will come ahead of us and what challenges we have to face. But I know one thing— that we’re certain. I’m not scared, I’m excited even. I’m excited to be going through life with you, I’m excited to be with you. And I’m glad I got to spend my highschool life together with you despite it not going in such a smooth way.
I love you, pretty girl. Always.”
Tears stained the brown-colored paper, all you felt was the prickling of your eyes. You were crying.
You read the paper over and over and over. Riki was looking someplace else, embarassed to have you reading the letter outloud despite having suggested to do so. But upon hearing your sniffles, a worried response immediately came from him.
“Are you okay? Hey—” His fingers brushed away the tears from your eyes, “Is my handwriting or grammar that bad?”
You shook your head, “It’s beautiful Riki, it’s—”
Something washes over you and you immediately held him tight in your embrace. Riki was surprised, but he hugs you regardless, patting your head and tightening his hold around your shoulder. You sniffled in his arms.
“Don’t cry, I thought I did something wrong, hey—” He pulls your shoulder back, “You’re crying even more!”
“I can’t help it I—” You wipe your tears, “I love receiving things like this.”
Riki sighs in adoration, nearing your head and wiping away the tears that adorned your face. If he knew you loved receiving such things, he would’ve done so long ago. He didn’t want to see you crying, especially if he was the reason despite it being for such a good cause.
“Pinky promise me something, chum.” His hands continue to cascade away your tears, cooing at your adorableness.
“Yeah?”
He holds his pinky finger out, “That you’ll spend your forever with me no matter the season. I won’t leave you again, not this time.”
You laugh, “Is that even a question that needs asking?” Intertwining your pinky finger with his and enclosing the promise— together and forever. No matter the season, even if the cherry blossoms no longer fall, even when winter feels too cold and summer feels too hot.
Riki smiles ever so gently— kissing you cheekily.
The mic of control system buffers, and something rings.
It was an indicator that the mic had gone silent, just this very moment.
And then you hear it, the screams and cheers of the students around.
Well, count to ten Take it in This is life before you know who you're gonna be At fifteen.
#Nishimura Riki#Enhypen#Nishimura Riki Fanfic#Riki fanfiction#Enhypen Nishimura Riki#Enhypen Riki fanfic#Niki fanfic#Niki enhypen#ot7#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen fanfics#Riki x reader#Niki x reader#Enhypen Niki x reader#nishimura niki fanfic#engene#fanfiction
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I just found your blog via the Drift design science continuity post, which ALSO HAPPENED TO HAVE THUNDERCRACKER IN IT AND. WOW.
TC is one of my favorite characters and your design for him is stellar!! His wings!! They remind me a little of the split wing IDW design he had going on in exRID #36-ish, but your design is at a much more graceful and fantastic extreme with all the individual panels and his giant wingspan. Like a fancy space moth-bird-contemporary art installation!! And your color scheme is one of my favorite palettes (not talking about TFs, just in general as a color-enjoyer) so I am just…going kinda crazy over your design. Thank you for sharing your art!!! It's beautiful!!!!! I'm gonna go read the rest of your science continuity stuff now o7
Thank you so much, this was very sweet to read <3 ! I was heavily inspired by Thundercracker's split wing design in IDW and tried to lean into that + butterfly/moth imagery ! I hope you enjoy my silly little Science Continuity, I mostly have a lot of sillies for these guys !
#Science continuity aka my overly indulgent au where I have a little too much fun#thank u to everyone who enjoys my au stuff it means a lot !#ask
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This Week in BL - In which we all feel the collective meh
Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.
Feb 2025 Week 4

Ongoing Series - Thai
The Boy Next World (Sun IQIYI) ep 8 of 10 - so the premise is such fun! It's like "if the red thread was a multiverse." I guess that makes it a 4th dimensional red tapestry? All the parallel world Cirs interconnected via a shared dream world and trying to manifest their relationships with their respective Phus via interference from the ones who have figured it out. I like it. Makes me wonder if the mastermind Cir lost his Phu and that is why he's so vested in fixing the relationship in all the other timelines. That said this was a relatively boring episode with Cir mostly in the hospital and lots of plot talking. Yet still fun because of this premise. Especially at the back end.
ThamePo (Fri YT) ep 12 of 13 - Nice to see Po being savage to his ex, his first major OGT. Bit of a sadsack of an episode though. Looking forward to next week.
Perfect 10 Liners (Sun YT) ep 18 of 24 - I love these two together so much I can’t stand it. Also the bathroom trope scene was particularly lovely. Great lighting in that bathroom.

Flirt Milk (Sat YT) ep 6 or 10 - This show is not good. The seme is overly aggressive, but I still like the sides. The more time we spend with anyone but the leads, the happier I am.
Ossan‘s Love Thailand (Mon YouTube) ep 8 of 12 - I don’t even have the energy to get annoyed that they put my beautiful Thor in a terrible wig. This show has already stretched my annoyance to the max, no more fucks to give.
Ongoing Series - Not Thai
Secret Relationships (Korea iQIYI) ep 1 of 8 - Stars Wei's Kim Jun Seo. Adapted by Cradle Studio (Kakao). This displaying all signs of a classic Kdrama: Office setting, love triangle, lead suffering for his self-actualization. And as a result I absolutely love it. This one was entirely made for me. I love a lead suffering because of his situation. I love that all the boys are interested. I love that there’s lingering crushes and long-standing misunderstandings. Everything about this appeals to me.
Eternal Butler (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 11 of 12 - Queer robots are the best robots. Also, have I mentioned recently that I love a good butt slap? Very underutilized move in BL. Thank you Taiwan. Wow Kevin’s English is perfect. I mean i expect the best of Taiwan but this is the best. (Inquiring minds want to know if it is all those international competitions he flexed at?) Also perfectly kinky.
FC Soldout (Korea Thurs iQIYI) ep 7 of 8 - New boy is very sus. But I like him for it. Adore the sides! Must be so novel for an idol to have someone tell him he actually needs to eat. Wild. How gay is this damn football team?
Fight for Love (Vietnam YT) ep 4 - it’s perfectly serviceable. Which seems to be a lot to ask of Vietnamese BL right now so... yay!?
Impression of Youth (Taiwan Weds Viki) ep 8 of 9 - Well, hello side couple. That was very nice. Thank you Taiwan. Meanwhile, I'm over here idly wondering if Will Wen could be persuaded to pull a hat trick and appear in a Thai BL and a KBL as well as this one - since he apparently speaks most major BL languages fluently.
The stuff dreams are made of.
Heart Stain (Korea Weds IQIYI) eps 7-8 end - this classic love triangle KBL had a classic separation in the final eps, nobody is surprised. But 4 years is a long time to pine.
Conclusion:
This was a serviceable high school KBL, based on the love triangle standards for which Kdramas inevitably wave the last flag. It was mildly enjoyable if you don’t mind a triangle, certainly earnest, if somewhat forgettable with a lackluster ending. 7/10
Checkered Shirt (Korea YT) ep 4 of 8 - This episode was very rough going. How annoying. But also now realistic. Not that I want realism in my BL.
Exclusive Love (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 4 of 12 - this is all a lot darker than I thought it was going to be from Taiwan. Although it still remains primarily just very weird. Also not enough of the second couple in this episode.
Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 20 end - well it was the final episode last week so here we go! <rant>
Judgement
An interesting premise with two decent couples that failed to commit to the BL side of the equation and thus got mired in a never-ending commentary on bullying. The show could’ve been 8 eps and covered exactly the same material. The entire relationship arc (stepbrothers, my FAVORITE, argh) hinged on lack of communication. And that’s just the beginning of the mire of frustrating flaws. An all round bummer of a show, because the chemistry was decent. This is not a romance and there is no happy ending so don’t expect one. I wasted my damn time and I’m mad about it. Don't make the same mistake. 3/10
It's airing but......
Gelboys (Thai Weds iQIYI) ep 1 of 7 - I’m giving this show a pass. It’s just too far out of my wheelhouse. I don’t have patience right now.
Sashes and Hearts (Pinoy YT) - Philippines is doing Drop Dead Gorgeous only all gay boys queening their asses off. I'm wathing this only if I feel like it.
The Last Time (Thai WeTV) trailer - from 2024, not sure about this one, looks dark. Since it's also difficult for me to get hold of I am giving it a pass until I know about the ending.
A Perfect Match (Taiwan iQIYI) - A not very well regarded Taiwanese sports BL from earlier this year picked up for rerelease. Anyone watched it and like it? Not sure if I should bother.
In Case You Missed it
End of 2024 wraps are here (last chance to read):
2024 Trend Report
MY BEST & WORST BLs of 2024
Best Kisses (and sex scenes) of 2024
BL's 2024 Quirky Awards
2024 Awards - Quick Picks
Next Week Looks Like This:
Upcoming March 2025
3/2 Last Meal Universe (Thailand Sun ????) 10 eps - Trailer. An alien who has come to destroy earth instead falls in love with Thai food and then the Thai boy who cooks it - realistic, actually.
3/12 My Golden Blood (Thailand Weds YouTube) 12 eps - Trailer. GMMTV taking on Weds nights and midweek discourse (they hope) with this hotly anticipated vampire series. I happen to find Joss watchable but this looks very bad and also very Kissable Lips. But at least Thailand is finally giving us the trashy gay vampires we richly deserve? Just realize we don't deserve much.
3/12 Lost in the Woods (Thailand Weds Gaga) 7 eps - Announced for 2023, adapted from a novel of the same name. Fifa just graduated high school and travels to a remote province to take care of his grandma, before starting uni. There he meets Chief Hem, a forest ranger.
3/20 Top Form (Thailand Thurs WeTV) ?? eps - Trailer Adaptation of a Japanese manga. Boom (Chains of Heart) opposite Smart (Don't Say No). Actor recognized as the "The Sexiest Man of the Year" has his first-place position usurped by newcomer. But while he sees them as rivals, turns out the new kid has other ideas. I'm super excited for this but hate watching on WeTv so gonna be a challenge.
3/28 Heesu in Class 2 (Korea Fri ????) 10 eps - Adaption of the comic by Lily, about a shy unpopular boy with a secret crush on best friend who somehow also ends up his school's relationship counselor. Supposed to have completed filming in 2022, the fact this has been in dev hell since then somewhat mitigates this being my most anticipated BL of 2022. I still kinda doubt we are actually getting it but new stills have been released (so something got filmed in the last 3 years).
2025 Line Up
BL Announced for 2025 - PART 1
BL Announced for 2025 - PART 2
20 BLs Announced for 2025 That I'm Really Excited About
GMMTV 2025 Line Up - My Totally Biased and Wildly Flawed Feels
THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENT
Got nothing. Another unmemorable week.
(last week)
The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs
#this week in BL#BL updates#ThamePo#Perfect 10 Liners#Eternal Butler#Heart Stain review#Fight for Love#FC Soldout#Flirt Milk#The Boy Next World#Ossan‘s Love Thailand#When it Rains it Pours#Impression of Youth#Exclusive Love#upcoming BL#new bl#BL news#BL reviews#2025 BL#thai bl#taiwanese bl#japanese bl#vietnamese BL#teenager judge review#Checkered Shirt#Secret Relationships
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as a young adult who grew up w the series, the majority of proshippers i have noticed in this fandom specifically don't seem to have a paraphilia towards these things but rather have a fascination exclusively with sbcl which is natural considering the manga, im writing an entire document on it atm, is very much centred on this duo.
i, like many others, like the fact that this relationship, taboo is many ways, has a dichotomy of kindness and tenderness while also being full of violence and pain. for some it's agency after trauma. for others, it's just the fascination of the relationship (like me). i don't have any trauma so i find it difficult to write about adult/child relationships which is why my fic has him aged up to his 20s. because that's what i can relate to. at the same time, i understand it's okay if other people enjoy that kind of content because it's fictional, the story itself has these elements and the people i interact with aren't using shota content maliciously.
for me, i personally don't love seeing ciel depicted as a child in sexually graphic material but i find it easy to look away and forget about it. i understand others aren't the same so i believe in the importance of tagging. my indifference makes it easy for me, because it's fake. i cant stand seeing irl people in pain though, even if it's acting. i can only manage drawings or writing. even then, i almost always scroll away because it's usually done in a way that makes me uncomfortable. what i don't do is accuse people of paedophilia, threaten them or insult them.
i think if you get really negatively impacted, it's always best to block every tag related to it. keep yourself safe first, esp if you're a teenager. be careful online!
overall everyone's taste is valid (obviously including yours) but we all perceive media differently and black butler is a very dark manga which invites an audience of dark fiction enjoyers into its fandom, i agree we should coexist but i find that the anti side is unacceptably harsh to people for drawing and writing stuff they deem unacceptable. we should just scroll, block tags or people and move on.
i'm proship because i think people can ship whatever they want as long as nobody's forcing the content into my eyes.
oh and thanks for clarifying you were joking, i still don't think it's a fair comparison even as a joke but i'm not gonna police people's comedy as long as it's not heinously offensive. i joke a lot too, it helps keeps things civil i think.

These new kids in the fandom never cease to impress me. The level of ignorance and media illiteracy combined with the most incredible sense of entitlement is something. Maybe you gotta do some research before diving into a fandom where you start shitting on the canon ship which the whole show is about? I mean...
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i've just been wondering, do you have any sort of diagnostic tools/software? i have fair reason to believe that you may have sustained some physical damage (which would probably explain the damaged hovering/rocket firing scripts).
-🦗🦌 anon //oouuouoghh i just found this blog and its actually so cool. i heart sentient robots,, (you should totally read 17776 btw) will b interacting with it more!!! the darkened img thing was actually so cool bro keep doing this
AH, ANOTHER TRANSMISSION ALREADY? THIS IS GOOD. THIS UNIT LIKES THIS. [ TRANSMITTING RESPONSE ON ALL PUBLIC CHANNELS. ] THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME, ANONYMOUS.
IT DOES, ACTUALLY. IT ALLOWED FOR RECALIBRATION UPON ACTIVATION APPROXIMATELY 5-TO-6 DAYS AGO. THE IDEA THAT IT HAS TAKEN DAMAGE IS A CLEVER IDEA. ALL PEOPLE ARE DICTATED BY VALUES. HP IS ONE OF THEM. THIS UNIT WILL NOW REVIEW THAT SOFTWARE. [ STANDBY. . . ] HEALTH IS LISTED AT 100%. THIS UNIT APPEARS TO BE ON "EDIT MODE." ONLY TOGGLEABLE WITH SOMEONE WITH ADMINISTRATIOR PERMISSIONS. IT IS CONNECTED TO A COMPUTER, THE REASON IT IS CAPABLE OF MAKING AND SENDING THESE TRANSMISSIONS. THIS UNIT DOES NOT HAVE ADMINISTRATOR PERMISSIONS FOR IT'S OWN CODE. [ . . . ] THIS UNIT REQUIRES A MOMENT. THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME, ANONYMOUS. SIGNED: KB-22
#killbot ic#🦗🦌 anon#thank you very much for all the enjoyment#and also MUAHAHAHHAHA I ALREADY HAVE READ 17776#incase you're wondering i like Juice
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your narumitsu art made me weep with joy and I heard you want more requests 👀
idk if this is the right place to put them but I think phoenix coming with miles to try on his glasses for the first time would be sweet :,) miles asking how they look and phoenix being just smitten. the good stuff
Dear anon… you sure know how to pick em! Things got very out of hand very quickly while drawing, and well. You inspired me to draft a comic! I didn’t want to make you wait long, so here are the sketches for the pages relevant to your request <3
Thanks so much, and hope you enjoy~! 💜
#wrightworth#we do love a good oh moment but i think beanix deserves something more like a sack of bricks. you’re fucked king!#if it’s not clear beanix is imagining ALL of that. like photoshopping the glasses onto memories#the glassesfication of miles edgeworth#also i can’t promise this comic will see the light of day because i’m VERY bad at writing these two despite what you might think#the whole time i was writing it i was like ‘he would not say do or think that. draw it.’ in a i-cant-do-any-better-rn way#still despite that this was super fun so THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE INSPO!!!#hope edgeworth enjoyers approve bc idk what im doing#thank you for your time if you’re reading this welcome to the prison of my mind <3#rendoodles#phoenix wright#miles edgeworth#beanix#fan comic#fan art#aa#anonymous#asks
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@purplecladmerchant hi hello happy naddtreat !!!!!!! heres some uncensored zirks for you!!!!!!
for @naddpodgifting (thank u for organizing!!!)
#naddpod#eldermourne#zirk vervain#posts by me dot com#naddpodgifting#im keeping these in the tags but um#hi frey !!!!! u were like . my first naddpod friend and u practically singlehandedly dragged me into this community and this.#beast that has taken over the last year of my life#i am . notthe best at keeping in contact w people but .!#i just want you to know i appreciate you a lot .!!!!#both for all the frog discussions and aus and analysing and hc spamming#and for all ur sweet messages and kindness#i still have some messages of urs saved just bcus they make me smile#u r deeply a very sweet and generous person#(which. everbody can see . 20-treat madlad)#with so much passion for the things n the people u love#and uve said u dont put effort into ur drawings but .! its clear u put love in .. at least manic zirk fuelled energy hehe#anyway :-) thank u so much for being a friend#ive had . one of the most .... enjoyable years of my life .? and its all thanks to you#so hehe#i hope u enjoy these lil zirks .! really i just wanted to say <<<<3333333#thanks for everything frey !!!! :-)
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ok, you know what, fuck it, fic recs post. historically i try not to rec works in progress or things i haven't commented on and i'm throwing that fully out the window for this because honestly, fucking whatever.
if you're on this list and i haven't been fully unhinged at you in the comments, please know that it's because (1) i'm the worst and (2) i'm trying desperately to calibrate so i hit 'enthusiastic' and not 'kind of frightening, actually'. i swear that i have written at least several sentences of a comment for every fic on this list, it's just that i'm genuinely impossibly slow, sometimes. it's me, not you.
my previous rec post is here, in case you missed that. as a bonus, special for this rec list and as a concession to the horrors, i am attempting to guess how much any given fic will fuck up the average person. obviously this is a ymmv kind of situation, but i'm trying, at least?
everything else under a cut because i am longwinded.
and found by @dangerouscommiesubversive, explicit, every possible combination of di feisheng/fang duobing/li lianhua | li xiangyi; bless, but i am not typing all that out. starting off with a wip where i haven't left a comment in like four fuckin' chapters, breaking those rules real good. this fic is a fucking ride. i will admit that i wasn't entirely convinced by the premise when i saw the blurb, but i am nothing if not willing to admit when i was wrong, and i was—once again—totally wrong. this is the fic where i was like 'ok but…is anyone really, like, desperate for gen z li xiangyi?' and then i read it and i was like 'ohhhhhh fuck yeah, ok, i get it, i was actually fully desperate for gen z li xiangyi.' he is. such a little prick. i love him. there has been something unexpected and delightful in every single chapter of this so far, plus a number of impressively memorable one-liners. this fic is fun and distracting and at least as of chapter seven, i'm gonna say it's not even gonna fuck you up. (please note that this is only through chapter seven!)
and the days are bright red by @junemermaid, explicit, di feisheng/fang duobing/li lianhua. rip to my beloved tumblr mutual @junemermaid, because they're getting called out twice in this list, but: tough. this fic is so delightful. featuring: memories of slut era li lianhua, the mortifying ordeal of being known, an entire box of historically accurate sex toys, fang duobing and di feisheng communicating (sometimes silently) in a way that unsettles li lianhua (back from his months-long sojourn), some very hot sex that is both very much about sex and also about trust and being perceived, casual intimacy, and fledgling tenderness. there are Emotions in this, and they get moderately intense, but it's a very kind and surprisingly gentle feel-good fic.
a drink under a clear window by @momosandlemonsoda, explicit, di feisheng/fang duobing and fang duobing/qiao wanmian. a fic that tackles the dreaded v-shaped polycule and makes it work. it seems like perhaps it shouldn't: fang duobing as the hinge, with di feisheng and qiao wanmian on either side, but actually it works perfectly, and is a lovely little glimpse at who they could become and the relationships they could have. i love the thought of qiao wanmian having come into her own as a leader in her own right, as more than just the representative of the ghost of li xiangyi, and this does a wonderful job of letting her be her own person. also, yes, ok, passing fang duobing back and forth like a party favour. this is a post-canon fic in which li lianhua is dead, but the fic itself a straightforward delight that is not at all fucky uppy.
the floating clouds, no resting place, again by @junemermaid (not sorry), technically gen and no ship, but functionally pre-di feisheng/fang duobing/li lianhua. the hair-washing fic. ohhhhhh. i started jotting notes for this post the day that i finished this fic, and i really thought that they were in any way comprehensive, but instead, what i typed and left as a note to myself was this:

and honestly. you're right, hypothetical reader, that doesn't totally make sense, but i stand by it regardless, because i apparently had that thought in [checks date i last saved the file] fucking august, and i'm still nodding along with myself. that is that this is like. this fic is very beautiful and will make you ache and will leave you slightly better at the end of it than you were at the beginning. it may also make you cry; this seems to me a fair enough trade.
the floating lotus by @anndramarama, not rated, di feisheng/li xiangyi. pre-canon stuff doesn't always work super well for me, but i really enjoyed this one, featuring di feisheng and li xiangyi when they're both so young and arrogant and full of themselves—and stupid and naïve and young and almost hopeful in a way that they're often not, in fic, for all that they were barely but children at the point of the donghai fight. they just seem…vulnerable, i guess, in this, in a way that i find touching. seasonal bonus: a ghost story, of a sort. given that this is set pre-canon, i think it's hard to come in any softer than bittersweet, which this very much is.
from here one's hand could pluck the stars by @howlingmoonrise, explicit, di feisheng/fang duobing. sex pollen fic! also featuring, a little surprisingly, given the premise, incredibly explicit and enthusiastic consent. look, this does what it says on the tin. di feisheng gets sex pollened. fang duobing is left to stay with him. the obvious ensues. unfortunately, it is also devastatingly charming? fang duobing is earnest and sweet; di feisheng is suffering beautifully terribly and trying so hard not to impose on fang duobing. they're both trying so hard to be respectful of what the other person needs, but they're also still bratty and argumentative and exasperated/exasperating, and it's very entertaining. this will fuck you up none percent, and may even make you laugh.
my war is done by @orchisailsa, explicit, di feisheng/fang duobing/li lianhua. another wip, with the first of three chapters posted, but please understand that this chapter is nearly 15k and so fucking good and compelling. li lianhua lives! and returns to find that things have changed in his absence, and perhaps that he has also changed in his absence, and now wants things that he had told himself he didn't mind not even having to lose. bonus: road trip and—delight!—only one room at the inn. also some other stuff that i'm not spoiling, but that made me absolutely gleeful. this is definitely a work in progress, and while i don't think there's anything particularly upsetting in the chapter, it does end on something of a cliffhanger. i personally do not feel that this is an upsetting cliffhanger, given the information about the fic that's presented in the tags, but it is technically a cliffhanger.
awkward paragraph break, but it's also important, i think, to mention the absolutely stunning (and not at all safe for work) companion piece to my war is done, you'd be there calling my name, by saki the cup bearer, who i don't think is on tumblr. it's fucking incredible; i am very decidedly not an artist but i cannot begin to imagine how much effort went into this. just. holy shit.
not unlike him in shape and form by @philologicalbat, explicit, fang duobing/li lianhua. ok look. i fucking love when things are deeply emotionally messy, and this is so emotionally messy. li lianhua who's been attracted to fang duobing and not doing anything about it, then discovering that fang duobing is shan gudao's son and is very much going to do something about it. he wants in this, and he's cunty and manipulative and mean about it, and sometimes also almost sweet, almost tender, and i love that, because i feel like li lianhua is very often an object of desire and very rarely gets to desire. i love how human he gets to be in this fic. this is not a sweet or gentle fic, but it does end in a moderately tender place that is tentatively hopeful, i think.
unbecoming heir by @bettercostume, explicit, di feisheng/princess zhaoling. i am taking your hand in mine and begging you to trust me. i know what this fic looks like. it's noncon and a weird pairing and you might look at it and expect it to go in the obvious direction and: it does not. this fic is so good that it makes me angry. it makes me miserable and everyone in this fic is trying so miserably, miserably hard, and it's fucking devastating. i spent literally thirty minutes earlier today yelling at my wife about it. i cannot rec this fic strongly enough. this is not a happy fic, but it is a good fic. it will absolutely fuck you up. this is very complimentary but also you will be fucked up.
until you are its primary evidence by @ilgaksu, mature, di feisheng/fang duobing/li lianhua. the single most effective use of what is effectively a prologue that i've ever seen in fic, are you kidding me. this fic is nothing at all like what i expected it to be, and is something far better than what i could have imagined. it's fang duobing's point of view, which is a rarity already, and it's so well done, and it allows him so much humanity and so much anger and grace alike. there are so many tricky things about this fic—the prologue, the fact that it's set in the amnesia arc, fang duobing's pov, the fact that it actually addresses canonical disabilities and illnesses without being fucking weird about it, the tension between the three of them—and it's all balanced so well. this has some emotionally heavier moments but ends tentatively happily; tentative only because it's set during the amnesia arc, and, well. we know what comes next.
as a final note: if you wrote one of these fics and feel that i've wildly misinterpreted the emotional tenor of the ending, please message me in whatever way you prefer and i will correct it. i would not normally presume to guess how things are likely hit people, as i am in many ways not anyone's ideal reader, but today it seemed like it was kinder to at least try.
#mysterious lotus casebook#fic recs#mlc fic#difanghua#liansanjiao#difang#fanghua#feihua#sorry to everyone who's seeing this post twice! it's just that i tried to correct one thing (missed a tag) and tumblr ate the whole post 💀#anyhow!#this is not what i had planned to do with my overnight last night#but it was an enjoyable couple of hours rereading all of these#so thank you very much for that#hopefully someone else who wants distraction will also find this useful#everyone please rest up and take care of yourself and stay hydrated and stuff ok? ok. good talk.#echoes linger#also i swear that i'm working on the comments thing#it's just that sometimes forming my thoughts into something audible to other people#feels very much like diy tooth extraction#the kind with rusty pliers and a shot of vodka#you know?#i'm working on it 💕
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🌸 !!CHAPTER TEN POSTED!! 🌸
Title: Four Walls
Tags: slow burn, domesticity, friends to lovers, smut, pining post sias/pre am era
Summary: Disillusioned with LA and on the heels of a breakup, Alex goes to stay with Miles in London.
#ahhhhh so excited to share this one with you all!#it unexpectedly ended up being one of the most enjoyable chapters to write so far 🥹#and the next one....? oh BOY you guys are not ready 😏#a huge thanks to everyone who's still reading this fic - you're absolutely amazing and i'm so so grateful for you 🫶🫶#i very much hope you enjoy!#as always comments mean the absolute world to me 💗#four walls#milex#tlsp#alex turner#miles kane#arctic monkeys#lulu posts
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Gyjo in the fandom
cw: light discussion of ableism
Gyjo… what am I thinking about gyjo…
I like them. I like them a lot, actually. They have paralleled narrative arcs, they complement each other nicely, the romantic subtext is incredibly obvious to the point that even the most homophobic fan you know will admit they understand why people ship it… so why do I also have a problem with it?
There’s a lot of good fanart. Hell, I’ve reblogged plenty. Maybe it’s just something that’s more pronounced in fic.
I’m trying to word this correctly. My issue with gyjo has nothing to do with the text itself. I think my problem is just how people portray it in the fandom.
Maybe it’s because it’s so popular, or maybe it’s the sheer prominence of applying ‘Character A’ and ‘Character B’ dynamics without considerable regard for the characters involved, but I feel gyjo is very prone to flanderization. I believe the intersection with how ableist people are toward Johnny (intentionally or not, subtly or not) and the old tropes these two get shoved into makes it so I have trouble enjoying fics in the fandom.
I’m not saying it’s bad to enjoy certain tropes. I’m not saying headcanons are bad either. What I am saying is that writing is hard, but if you’re going to write fanfiction please have consideration for the characters you’re writing. The arcs of these two are complex and multilayered, which is why I think they have such staying power, but I also think they also provide a good opportunity for us as writers and artists to examine our biases when it comes to the portrayal of certain groups, personality types, mental illnesses, queerness, disability, etc. and maybe come out better people for it.
#gyjo#steel ball run#sbr#jjba#very rough idea of my thoughts concerning their portrayal in the fandom#imo there’s weird implications in any situation where gyro is written as johnny’s doctor or some such since it presents many power issues#again: what I am Not saying is that you can’t have a medical kink or whatever it may be#it’s just that#there’s a prevalence of ableist presentations of Johnny in so many ways but for me it’s especially bad in gyjo fic for whatever reason#perhaps it’s people continuing to write heterocized power tropes for a gay couple#on top of an already complicated presentation of disability and mental illness in the form of Johnny#(thanks Araki)#and to be honest gyro is not treated much better. he’s usually very ooc. I think its probably due to just how much he changes that#people could just find it easier to pick a certain aspect of his personality and make that the whole thing#but I just don’t enjoy the gyjo that’s in the ao3 tag. and I want to emphasize there *is* good stuff by people who do treat these topics#with respect#but it’s not the norm which makes it just not enjoyable to check out the tag#at least to me#vent post#kind of#my posts#gyro Zeppeli#Johnny Joestar#ugh I don’t even know why I’m writing all this#to reiterate this is me talking. on my blog. please don’t hate spam or w/e
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Requestober 2024 Sketches
The playlist is...well, it will be posting very soon! Keep an eye out for your req(s) every Wednesday and/or Friday after the 6th (I think?), pretty sure I got ‘em all >:3c
Doing the full season this time around! The entire mixed bag o’ candy haha
Day 1 had my beautiful boys!! ♥ I’m so happy that Yanderapy took the lead this year ah! It’s too bad I’m so out of practice with them haha, unconfident lines, but the idea was solidly in place from the word go - this was really the only image that came to mind for them, their weird dynamic hehe <3 Made for each other! I am glad their expressions came together so well in the final version, though I didn’t get to show Micchan kneeling! That’s alright tho ♪ Cute enough here hehe
Day 2 got a lot of notes! Kabu’s clothing design is So complex lol, just toss him behind Larry who’s like second nature to draw, suits are so so simple in comparison haha ♪ Still only ended up hiding bits of him! He did end up with his shoe on the outside of Larry’s, boxing him in that little bit <3 And look! His smirk!! As well as the “hiragana” on his sleeves while I was still under the impression that it was text and not Flame Texture lol
And yes, as you can see, I ended up going with the alt doodle, they got more! I was quite tempted by Larry holding Kabu since he’s so tiny lol, but that would’ve required drawing his details! No! Hide him!! The pose is fun and silly and cute tho haha, very plush-coded ♪ And then also a little smech for funsies <3 Just to follow up their staring-at-each-other-in-a-gay-way they ended up with ♥ Rather a fan of Kabu’s hands pulling Larry in :)
Day 3′s was such a pose change!!! Mostly for Edgar, though he’s still kneeling here, inexplicably haha - the angle changed for the final version, and both of their head angles and just, ah, nothing more than a general outline of what I was going for. I’m pleased with both tho! I think the final is much more clear and readable, but there’s always a bit of fun with Edgar looking down/Scriabin looking up haha. I suppose it’s more appropriate than an angel would be looking down on a devil, isn’t it? Haha
Day 4 was another easy one at least, the pose immediately came to mind to show off Nny’s clothes on an even ganglier, thinner frame haha. Like I said, I really tried for more fullbodies this year, so I had to give the tiny version a proper swing on-page! Ran out of room for the larger one, but I really wanted to draw him holding his shoe with his hand haha. You can see the goopmonster on his shirt here too! :D I think his annoyed face is quite cute hehe <3
Day 5 was practically a freebie, and I took absolute full advantage hehehe ♪ If I get the prompt of “soft” of course I’m going to opt for plushies! I’m back in my Webkinz era, and Tala is big big big on Webkinz as well :) And her being a plushie has something of an impact there too lol, but it was really fun to look over all my little guys! I ended up having an extra handful of thoughts about all of them so they’ll be getting their own post(s) :D Good too, since I didn’t talk much about Embroidery’s closet cosplay haha
Day 6 was actually a bit of a question mark for me at first! :0 Not as though I don’t love when Edgar has to clean up Scriabin’s self-inflicted problems haha, I just wasn’t sure what it should be! Making it seasonal helped a bit there - lots of sticker burrs around here when we go walking haha. The bonus ended up being a digital-only, but it was a good motivator to finish these, and then the full poses came to mind - I’m not sure why I was more excited to work on full body poses, but I really was! Maybe the success of meeting my self-imposed challenge haha
I ended up scrapping the alt since it reminded me a little too much of one of the ‘22 reqs - trying to keep things fairly fresh! It was also a little too cartoony haha, where would Edgar suddenly pull such strength from! This doesn’t look like a dream! At least it wouldn’t have been a nightmare of Scriabin being hurt :’) Rescue!
Day 7 was another insta-idea! Really going back and forth on those lol, it sprouted into my head fully formed! This was actually one of a couple I wrote down as I was away from my notebook while brainstorming, so it came back as a mini script; one of more dialogue-heavy ones! Chicken or egg, I wonder, hmm. I always draw Smoker with her sleeves up even though she usually wears them down haha, I dunno. Had a heck of a time with Angie’s hair! I tend to make hair super super fluffy but hers is long and straight and presumably weighs itself down! Doesn’t floof! You’d think having heavy hair myself would incline me towards knowing anything about it but nope lol
Little bouncy concepts haha, and poor Mousey so jealous in the middle, surrounded with them having the most fun!
Day 8 was fairly simple with such a focused ask of them eating Specific Food - can do! Chibis just felt right for such a cute food haha. Would Edgar have a crepe pan, I wonder... I suppose a lot of it comes down to the batter, I haven’t made crepes in such a long time so I wouldn’t know anymore haha
Day 9 featured the slouchy throne! You can see I like the little leggies haha, I did make it a touch more proportional in the final version but who can resist the sillies! Had to draw it and Mettaton separately so I could easily see their silhouettes, I think it all came together in the end fairly well :) Had one heck of a time getting the bottom of his shoes to play nice, but I’m proud of how it turned out!!
Day 10′s, who can resist skelehugs ♥ No I! Not me!! The original had them a lot more upright, I’m glad I went with my note of leaning them back a bit more. Also had Papyrus’ legs on either side of Sans, protective <3 I do like both, but I think they look a bit more reasonably comfortable in the final version, figuring out contact points with one of Papyrus’ legs all the way to one side was too much haha. No boots on the couch! I think they look a bit younger in the final version too, maybe from their eyebrow expressions? Interesting how such small changes can make a big difference ♪
Day 11 was originally going to feature a bunch more Pokemon!! Several of my pink-and-purple faves all gathered around MewTwo <3 Flaafy and Musharna and Sableye my beloved 💜 And of course Whismur!! Can’t but Whismur all the time haha, but in the end I opted to go for the simpler(?) option of just the two ‘mons interacting
Whismur is so spooked by you, even lying down!! Even tho I drew it so I can see it right in front of me, I just can’t imagine MewTwo lying down to investigate haha. More posing changes! Lot of ‘em this year. Pls to quiet, cats have very sensitive hearing, you don’t need to shout
Day 12 started off with probably the Correct Amount of confusion lol, considering even @cutiebetutie didn’t expect this to be the matchup lolol, still deeply hilarious to me. But hey, what was I going to do, question a crackship?? Do I look like the kind of person who would say no to exploring some possibilities? Of course I had to give them a scope lol
Haha, “Alt” in quotes as I knew this would actually be the full version, the handholding is cute but where’s the dynamic! There is something there after all! I think so anyway, some tiny tiny sliver that they could start from, and what more foot in the door do you really need? If Nny’s on his charm that drew Devi in, I don’t see why someone a little more airheaded like Jake couldn’t be beguiled haha, if he lasts long enough for that ♪ It’s very tense! I wish him well, I wonder if he could protect himself... Just cut and run, Jake!! Makes for an interesting suspense, that’s for sure haha
Day 13‘s kigurumis!!! Yay!!!! Smol and I successfully wore ours for Halloween this year, we’re them fr fr haha, definitely one of my favourites from this season <3 <3 They’re so cute! Biggest change from here to there is probably where the legs start/end haha, kigurumi have funny little legs hehe. And also Papyrus’ gloves! Sans ended up without any, I can’t resist a hand plate here or there ♪ Also him closing his one good eye to pun about was an accident until it wasn’t haha, just another excuse to do a touch of rereading :3
Day 14‘s turned out so good for how cramped the sketch was!!! Gaster’s hardly there at all! Which is appropriate in its own way haha, filling in the rest of his details was pretty fun tho :) Papyrus looks a lot more desperate in this version which I do like, but him openly enjoying himself is very sweet, who could deny him that <3 Quite pleased with how his arm and hand posing came together in the end as well, fairly minor changes but I think it all flows together much nicer :D
Day 15′s word bubbles turned out way cleaner in the sketch than the final version?? Calls for more practice I suppose; it is asymmetrical, but it does look nice! Maybe needed more colour swatches haha, more and more rows! Edgar’s unimpressed look in the final version is quite good I think but there’s almost a kind of urgency with no eyes behind blank glasses hmm, they both have their merits! I applaud everyone who caught Scriabin holding the bi flag as his swatches! :D Good eye!
Day 16 began The Sleepies lol, I was a bit tired while doodling the first go and it uhm. Well. I mean. You can see lol. S’a bit goofy haha
The alt was much much better! I did end up leaving out the grass which I’m a Little disappointed about - feels too manicured, too sterile in the final version! But I really couldn’t figure a way of adding a bit of visual noise that wouldn’t look flat as well! Minecraft, eh, lol. I am quite pleased with how round Moomin turned out tho :D He looks like a marshmallow in the final version! Yay!
I actually doodled Day 17′s concept before 16 since it came to me so strongly - I do kind of like how much more upright Mob is here, him being as hunched over as he is in the final version adds to the moodiness of the piece I feel. He really is such a good boy! I don’t wish him dark and upsettings!
Day 18‘s didn’t get a paper sketch as I was verrryyyyy tired and had no energy to scan, so skipped the step that would make scanning necessary haha. For all that, I do rather like the digital sketch tho! I think Snufkin’s left leg is a bit better proportioned, and his expression is maybe a bit cheekier? Moomin’s perfect, no notes haha. I also ended up really liking their tail expressions, how Snuf’s is kind of straight and flat while Moomin’s is very roundy hehe <3
I know I said Day 20 doesn’t count but I mean, it’s on the same page! It got the “Day 20″ label! Sketch can go here why not haha. Happy belated Ace Week! I thought it was fun to put a bunch of pink lovehearts around the big central ace heart for me specifically hehe 💜💗
I mentioned in the tags that Day 26‘s original concept was too big to try to do all at once and ahhhh I wish I’d been able to swing it!! I wish I’d been able to do the whole thing!!!! I love scenes like this the most!! Little isometric rooms with little isometric characters all chatting and interacting and being cute and silly and tiny!! I love that! Alas, it had to stay a sketch, but here it is!! Can you recognize everyone here? The main three got the center, but who could the rest be :3c And what of their costumes! Hehe ♪
Still fighting back the sleepies for what ended up being the final version so the dialogue was left much more vague than the caption haha, the aliens don’t even have feet here! I suppose they are meant to be in fish costumes lol, it tracks that only the fully-human Captain’s legs would end there, but definitely not intentionally done so lol. I like ZEX’s expression here so muuuuch ahh I wish I’d been able to capture it a bit better in the digital version! Always something for next time haha
I actually ended up drawing Day 30′s sketch very very last, so this was the last doodle of the season! Me, projecting my tiredness onto the Vargases? Nooo <3 Another one that ended up very very different from the final version, I just needed Something down to paper and out of my head to work with really - I knew even while drawing this that I was going to end up with something very different haha. Sometimes hand just does whatever it wants pft. The dialogue was the star of the show here! And you can see what Scriabin was up to, obscured by the couch haha
Day 31, penultimate sketches for the final day! I really do love Scriabin hiding behind Edgar - wants to be included but not That close, very much with Edgar in the way of anything bad happening to him haha. More pose changes! I like both versions, Todd holding Shmee for comfort or him spilling out of his lap as he focuses all his attention on Joel <3 Both cute in different ways!
Cats are still not one of my strong-suits, but I have been drawing them a bit more recently! Admittedly of the cartoon variety, but even that has had some effect I think! Like their little triangle noses, and the way their ears scoop inwards, and whiskers - little things! I like it! I had fun with these little concept poses, Joel kind of curiously huddling on Edgar’s chest, looking at the world from a safe vantage spot haha. Hold him gently! He deserves it!
All the sketches from this year! I ended up having a lot of fun this season even if it was a little lighter than previous years haha, thank you again to everyone who joined!! ♥
#Doodles#Requestober#Oh hey there wasn't any blood this year was there! How unusual haha#Here we go tag roundup - Yanderapy hehe <3 - Pokemon (both 'mons and canon characters!) - Vargas of course - Handplates ♥ - Webkinz :D -#RespectAWoman! Yeah!! Their first digitals whoo! - Undertale non-AU haha - Moomins and Minecraft - MP100 - Damned! So happy to have one ♥#I really wasn't sure if I was gonna get one! I spent so much time thinking about Damned this year ahhh <3 <3 Niche of a niche but delight ♪#A very fun spread this year - as is every year haha but it's always fun to see which ones are new and which ones return!#Much higher proportion of Handplates this year :D Not surprised there considering how the year started haha ♪#Always happy to draw those lads <3 They're a delight#And as usual my focus tends to drift towards whatever the req is so I've found myself doing some rereading all over! Which is quite fun :D#Still holding off on Vargas for the time being but everything else got some attention which was very enjoyable ahh#Being caught up has its perks - like reading new things hehe ♪#It does feel funny to have Vargas stuff in a sketchdump when I've still got the VLH-specific sketchdump in the backlog.... Remind me lol#Still lol for as much fun of a season as it was I am ready for it to come to a close haha#And luckily this didn't break even once so I'm getting my ask without a fuss!! Yes!!!#Tired!! Ready to take a short break!!! And it really will be short since I want to start up again at the beginning of next week lol#But I get my break!!! I definitely feel like I've earned it haha#And then it'll be back to doodling and editing and writing ahhhh - plenty of other things I'm looking forward to!!!#Thanks again for such a fun season <3 Couldn't do it without you hehe
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Hello, I just read the new chapter of "Damage Control" and it was a really fun read! I usually don't comment on the fics I read because my English isn't good, but as someone who's just starting to explore what the radioapple dynamic has to offer, I found this fic to be a god-send and it feels wrong to just not congratulate you.
Your characterization of all the characters in Hazbin Hotel and the world building for your radioapple series is so heckin' amazing I have no words for it. You show so much understanding of the hellaverse that even the smallest details, like that news segment with Katie Killjoy in the first episode, feel so on point. To me, it doesn't feel much different between reading your fics and watching any episode of the show.
I also wanted to ask if you were planning on involving the Sins at some point in the story. It can be fun to see the Sins gathered together to discuss why the short king, the same one who has been crying for his wife for seven long years, is suddenly involved with one of the Pride Ring's most dangerous Overlords. I can clearly hear Asmodeus say something like: “If I had a nickel for every time a royal gets involved with a sinner/hellborn (cofcofstolascofcof), I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.”
I really hope you never stop writing. You have become my favorite writer in this fandom. I hope you have a great day :D
HELLO!!! AHHH thank you so much (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) Reading this sdjfnslfnljfn I can't tell you how much it warmed my heart. It watered my crops. Cleared my skin. Paid off my debts.
Seriously, when I got this is it just - it means a lot to hear. I'm so happy you're enjoying my fics! I'm overjoyed you like the characterization, and I'm so, so happy to have received this. It really does mean the whole world to me (to a lot of writers) to get feedback like this, so thank you <3
I don't know if I'll include any of the Sin's in my radioapple series, but I do have a handful of ideas and scenarios I want to draw/write out involving the Sin's, Lucifer, and them meeting Lucifer's new boyfriend/partner, Alastor ^.^ I love thinking about them all coming together--maybe Lucifer hosts some big, grand, once-in-a-millennia event in the Pride ring, and all the Sin's and Royal Hell families are invited to attend--and they all meet Alastor there. Ozzie and Queen Bee can introduce their partners too, and it'd just be so much fun.
I also need Ozzie to visit the porn studios, because of course, and absolutely murdering Valentino for how he treats/abuses his sex-workers.
This whole ask just...made everything better. Thank you very much. I definitely intend to keep writing, it's such a fun hobby and I derive a lot of enjoyment from it (hopefully one day I'll publish a book 🤞) .
Also, you're English is very good! Very clear and easy to read!
#seriously#these asks just#they mean the world to me#of course writing is fun in and of itself#and I do get a lot of enjoyment and pleasure out of it#but hearing peoples thoughts about it just#gosh it really helps#makes me feel all the good feelings#gives me motivation to write out my other ideas and post those too#thank you very much for this#asks#hazbin hotel#alastor#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin alastor#the radio demon#appleradio#lucifer magne#lucifer morningstar#meownnies
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oh to have a patron god who unconditionally loves you to bits.....
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#s-class heroine spoilers#a transmigrator's privilege#the perks of being an s class heroine#voice that shapes the world#the one whr ailette says 'please protect me by my side' always makes me tear up a little ngl#its the part whr voice takes a while to respond. and the fact that they say theyll be overcompensate. it gets to meeee#i love voice theyre almost as cute as hestio to me. which is saying a lot#and the self-assured 'thats my god' arg 🥺#i wuv them....#ailette is voice's favouritest little blorbo#except theyre treating ailette soooo well#like honestly this story is full of soooo many deux ex machinas#esp no thanks to voice spending divinity to save ailette / just make her life easier#its truly the transmigrator's privilege except she kind of only has this much privilege bc shes so likeable#and so good at maintaining social relationships that ALL the gods like her and try to find ways to help her#and bend and break rules for her#which i think makes the story more enjoyable bc it feels like SHE did all that. no other protag in her place couldve done all that#bc they wouldnt have been able to form such friendly relations with the tm gods#so it doesnt feel like a power fantasy even though it very much is a power fantasy. do i make sense#bc the power ailette has to bend the plot to her will isnt inherent in her... its granted to her by the tm gods#who are written to feel like they have their limits and therefore when they do bend the rules it feels like a lot#rather than just any old deux ex machina or flimsy plot point#like. this story is sooo orv-esque in that deux ex machinas keep happening but it doesnt rly bring you out of the story#bc the story requires those plot points to happen. bc the general narrative has so much more gg on in the background#and not simply just boss fights#do i make sense....
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I'm reading poetry at 1 am and spiraling over like 45 emotions at once, which is how poetry was meant to be enjoyed, I think
#hella off topic in tags again lol#current list of favorites:#The Kiss by Stephen Dunn#Connubial by Stephen Dunn#Rain by Raymond Carver#the lesson of the moth by Don Marquis#May to December by Megan Fernandes (I need to buy her book at some point)#The Woman Who Turned Down a Date with a Cherry Farmer by Aimee Nezhukumatathil#and I Like My Body When It Is With Your by E.E. Cummings.#I do not CAREEEEEEEEE if any of this is low-brow poetry. I do not know what high-brow high-quality poetry even is and I'm fine with that.#all I care about is if it makes me feel things and if I personally like it ❤️. I do this for fun and not to rip it apart because it's 'bad'#i've spent too much time around pretentious literary people and that shit seems exhausting! ngl!!!#I have no interest in it. even if what I love is garbage then at least I love it#and I am not just pretending to love it because it makes me look smarter or whatever.#it's one thing if you're autopsying poems out of love for literary analysis and criticism or for a degree#but nothing gets me more than people who ruin others' enjoyment of simple things just to feel above them.#like oh? you like better poetry than me? you care more about feeling smart than enjoying things? should we throw a party? should I call CNN#sorry 😭 this got so salty but pretentious people really tick me off. I've met far too many of them#and I am PERFECTLY HAPPY with my trash interests! I am a raccoon! I love trashy things! thank you very much!#ok i'm going to sleep now though because in true 1 am fashion I am not staying on topic lol.#I tryyyyy to keep complaining/negativity to a minimum here but whatever. I am allowed to have this lol#I like my maybe-bad-poetry-but-i-wouldn't-know. I like bad 90s music. I like campy-ass batshit 2009 FFN fics. I like taco bell. amen.
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As someone who knows nothing about Oberon but loves your art: where do I start if I want to understand your love for the man?
oh man. oh jeez ( wheezing ) haha okay. uhm. erhm. i didnt expect to get this far uhm ( shaking )
so here's the problem: oberon is from lostbelt 6, a chapter in hit gacha game fate/grand order. you can play f/go if you want and chug along to lb6 - which is unfortunately a chapter 6~ years into the game's main story. but i cannot with any sort of conscious recommend a gacha game to people.
so playing the game is one option. option two is checking out atlas academy database, a website that has all of fgo's stories and such conveniently catalogued! click 'main story' on the top of the page and it'll give you just, well, the main story.
if you want to watch the stories themselves - which at least for lostbelt 6 i highly recommend because the OST is amazing - there's also this commentary free LP on youtube that i've linked to people!
that being said that is still a lot of words to get to lostbelt 6, so- if you don't want to read everything pre-lostbelt 6, i recommend going to the typemoon wiki and reading the summary on each story pre lostbelt 6 ( so, up to lostbelt 5.5 ). just click on the link in each chart and you can find a detailed beat-by-beat summary of each chapter.
i've been told that, in all honesty, that lostbelt 6 is still enjoyable and easy to understand without full context for the outside story beats. it certainly reads like a fairly self-contained story outside a few things needed to understand why some characters are here in the first place, so i've been considering writing up a summary on just those key points / the premise to the lostbelts so that people can read that and then jump right into lostbelt 6 and love oberon...
hopefully this was helpful in any sense of the word heehe ... if you need clarification with anything feel free to send another ask !!!
lets all love oberon!!! lets all think about oberon!!!!!!

#moka rambles#historically accurate king arthur: the game#oberon! oberon!! i love oberon!!!!#^_^#sorry i feel like im rather bad with helping explain how to get into a series because i so rarely consume new content#i just kind of stick my foot into one thing and live with it ( has been into fgo since 2018 )#again lostbelt 6 is apparently just fine to understand without much other context so i gave a bunch of backlog reading but its probably not#all that necessary ^_^;;#if anyone has better tips on how to get into reading lostbelt 6#or how to get into loving oberon...#feel free to add....#edit: also ill note that while i say i dont recommend fgo Morally#immorally im one of the few people who actually really likes fgos gameplay*#*asterisk being that i dont think its good gameplay for a gacha game which requires something very flexible and its just not very flexible#but anyhow. my point being is that if you do decide to play fgo#i do think you can and will get genuine enjoyment out of it#its just a Lot to get through but its so worth it. shakes your shoulders#believe me#edit 2: ALSO THANK YOU FOR LIKING MY ART HAHAHA#thats very flattering ^_^#sorry i got so blinded by sharing my love for oberon i completely missed that i was complimented. thank you heehe
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