#teenager judge review

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - In which we all feel the collective meh

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Feb 2025 Week 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

The Boy Next World (Sun IQIYI) ep 8 of 10 - so the premise is such fun! It's like "if the red thread was a multiverse." I guess that makes it a 4th dimensional red tapestry? All the parallel world Cirs interconnected via a shared dream world and trying to manifest their relationships with their respective Phus via interference from the ones who have figured it out. I like it. Makes me wonder if the mastermind Cir lost his Phu and that is why he's so vested in fixing the relationship in all the other timelines. That said this was a relatively boring episode with Cir mostly in the hospital and lots of plot talking. Yet still fun because of this premise. Especially at the back end.

ThamePo (Fri YT) ep 12 of 13 - Nice to see Po being savage to his ex, his first major OGT. Bit of a sadsack of an episode though. Looking forward to next week.

Perfect 10 Liners (Sun YT) ep 18 of 24 - I love these two together so much I can’t stand it. Also the bathroom trope scene was particularly lovely. Great lighting in that bathroom.

Flirt Milk (Sat YT) ep 6 or 10 - This show is not good. The seme is overly aggressive, but I still like the sides. The more time we spend with anyone but the leads, the happier I am. 

Ossan‘s Love Thailand (Mon YouTube) ep 8 of 12 - I don’t even have the energy to get annoyed that they put my beautiful Thor in a terrible wig. This show has already stretched my annoyance to the max, no more fucks to give.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Secret Relationships (Korea iQIYI) ep 1 of 8 - Stars Wei's Kim Jun Seo. Adapted by Cradle Studio (Kakao). This displaying all signs of a classic Kdrama: Office setting, love triangle, lead suffering for his self-actualization. And as a result I absolutely love it. This one was entirely made for me. I love a lead suffering because of his situation. I love that all the boys are interested. I love that there’s lingering crushes and long-standing misunderstandings. Everything about this appeals to me. 

Eternal Butler (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 11 of 12 - Queer robots are the best robots. Also, have I mentioned recently that I love a good butt slap? Very underutilized move in BL. Thank you Taiwan. Wow Kevin’s English is perfect. I mean i expect the best of Taiwan but this is the best. (Inquiring minds want to know if it is all those international competitions he flexed at?) Also perfectly kinky. 

FC Soldout (Korea Thurs iQIYI) ep 7 of 8 - New boy is very sus. But I like him for it. Adore the sides! Must be so novel for an idol to have someone tell him he actually needs to eat. Wild. How gay is this damn football team? 

Fight for Love (Vietnam YT) ep 4 - it’s perfectly serviceable. Which seems to be a lot to ask of Vietnamese BL right now so... yay!?

Impression of Youth (Taiwan Weds Viki) ep 8 of 9 - Well, hello side couple. That was very nice. Thank you Taiwan. Meanwhile, I'm over here idly wondering if Will Wen could be persuaded to pull a hat trick and appear in a Thai BL and a KBL as well as this one - since he apparently speaks most major BL languages fluently.

The stuff dreams are made of.

Heart Stain (Korea Weds IQIYI) eps 7-8 end - this classic love triangle KBL had a classic separation in the final eps, nobody is surprised. But 4 years is a long time to pine. 

Conclusion:

This was a serviceable high school KBL, based on the love triangle standards for which Kdramas inevitably wave the last flag. It was mildly enjoyable if you don’t mind a triangle, certainly earnest, if somewhat forgettable with a lackluster ending. 7/10

Checkered Shirt (Korea YT) ep 4 of 8 - This episode was very rough going. How annoying. But also now realistic. Not that I want realism in my BL.

Exclusive Love (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 4 of 12 - this is all a lot darker than I thought it was going to be from Taiwan. Although it still remains primarily just very weird. Also not enough of the second couple in this episode.

Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 20 end - well it was the final episode last week so here we go! <rant>

Judgement

An interesting premise with two decent couples that failed to commit to the BL side of the equation and thus got mired in a never-ending commentary on bullying. The show could’ve been 8 eps and covered exactly the same material. The entire relationship arc (stepbrothers, my FAVORITE, argh) hinged on lack of communication. And that’s just the beginning of the mire of frustrating flaws. An all round bummer of a show, because the chemistry was decent. This is not a romance and there is no happy ending so don’t expect one. I wasted my damn time and I’m mad about it. Don't make the same mistake. 3/10

It's airing but......

Gelboys (Thai Weds iQIYI) ep 1 of 7 - I’m giving this show a pass. It’s just too far out of my wheelhouse. I don’t have patience right now.

Sashes and Hearts (Pinoy YT) - Philippines is doing Drop Dead Gorgeous only all gay boys queening their asses off. I'm wathing this only if I feel like it.

The Last Time (Thai WeTV) trailer - from 2024, not sure about this one, looks dark. Since it's also difficult for me to get hold of I am giving it a pass until I know about the ending.

A Perfect Match (Taiwan iQIYI) - A not very well regarded Taiwanese sports BL from earlier this year picked up for rerelease. Anyone watched it and like it? Not sure if I should bother.

In Case You Missed it

End of 2024 wraps are here (last chance to read):

2024 Trend Report

MY BEST & WORST BLs of 2024

Best Kisses (and sex scenes) of 2024

BL's 2024 Quirky Awards

2024 Awards - Quick Picks

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming March 2025

3/2 Last Meal Universe (Thailand Sun ????) 10 eps - Trailer. An alien who has come to destroy earth instead falls in love with Thai food and then the Thai boy who cooks it - realistic, actually.

3/12 My Golden Blood (Thailand Weds YouTube) 12 eps - Trailer. GMMTV taking on Weds nights and midweek discourse (they hope) with this hotly anticipated vampire series. I happen to find Joss watchable but this looks very bad and also very Kissable Lips. But at least Thailand is finally giving us the trashy gay vampires we richly deserve? Just realize we don't deserve much.

3/12 Lost in the Woods (Thailand Weds Gaga) 7 eps - Announced for 2023, adapted from a novel of the same name. Fifa just graduated high school and travels to a remote province to take care of his grandma, before starting uni. There he meets Chief Hem, a forest ranger.

3/20 Top Form (Thailand Thurs WeTV) ?? eps - Trailer Adaptation of a Japanese manga. Boom (Chains of Heart) opposite Smart (Don't Say No). Actor recognized as the "The Sexiest Man of the Year" has his first-place position usurped by newcomer. But while he sees them as rivals, turns out the new kid has other ideas. I'm super excited for this but hate watching on WeTv so gonna be a challenge.

3/28 Heesu in Class 2 (Korea Fri ????) 10 eps - Adaption of the comic by Lily, about a shy unpopular boy with a secret crush on best friend who somehow also ends up his school's relationship counselor. Supposed to have completed filming in 2022, the fact this has been in dev hell since then somewhat mitigates this being my most anticipated BL of 2022. I still kinda doubt we are actually getting it but new stills have been released (so something got filmed in the last 3 years).

2025 Line Up

BL Announced for 2025 - PART 1

BL Announced for 2025 - PART 2

20 BLs Announced for 2025 That I'm Really Excited About

GMMTV 2025 Line Up - My Totally Biased and Wildly Flawed Feels

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENT

Got nothing. Another unmemorable week.

(last week)

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

[bibliophilesince2003]

Transformers One In-Depth Review

Transformers One is a must watch.

I’m tired of seeing a bad review go towards a movie that is actually extremely well done, especially if the reviewer hadn’t taken the time to watch it or considered the trailers enough content to draw a review from.

Seriously, it was so refreshing to see a new take on a franchise that has been around for years. In my personal opinion, it’s better than re-makes that offer even less room for creativity.

I am a huge Transformers fan. I grew up with Transformers Prime, and when I was older, I watched the movies. I’ve watched other shows here and there, and while I may not be a complete expert, I know the lore well enough to have been heavily, emotionally impacted by Transformers One.

I’ll start with the "non-spoiler take" followed by the "spoiler take” which will be “hidden” for those who do not want to be spoiled.

"Non-spoiler" take...

Peter Cullen’s voice is legendary. Chris Hemsworth himself acknowledged this in an interview, mentioning that the goal was to “re-create” and “do something new.” He intended to represent a “youthful, brash, and cocky version” of Orion Pax before he was known as Optimus Prime. This is a realistic representation. In Transformers Prime, Ratchet states that Optimus Prime was more like Jack in his youth. For those of you who don’t know, Jack is a strong-willed, selfless, but slightly impulsive teenager, as all teenagers should be. It is clear that Hemsworth has evaluated “hints” that other movies and shows have provided. Hemsworth wanted to “lean into” a more serious voice towards the end of Transformers One. He insisted “he wouldn’t dare mimic Peter Cullen.” I highly respect his choices, and he does not deserve the amount of hate thrown at him. Now, Orion Pax also comes across as a humble, soft-spoken character in other movies and shows. However, I can see why they would lean into his impulsiveness to better highlight and contrast the relationship between Orion Pax and D-16, especially as D-16’s true colors show. More about that in the “spoiler” section, though!

No, it would not have made sense for Orion Pax to have a deep, majestic voice. That comes with experience; that comes with hard decisions. Quite honestly, Hemsworth is pretty close to what I had imagined Orion Pax to sound like. It’s still slightly deep, and very soothing.

The character development in this movie? Oh. My. Word. Guys, as a writer, I can say that subtle character development – the best kind – is not easy to do. In Transformers One, it flowed naturally. It made me smile. It broke my heart. If you’ve seen other Transformers movies and shows, brace yourself. If you haven’t, still brace yourself. Again, more about that in the “spoiler” section.

The humor in the trailers has been re-posted so heavily I think it’s beginning to lose its effect and people, not knowing the context, are quick to judge. Yes, Bee is funny. It’s Bee. He’s supposed to be lovable, humorous, loyal, and powerful. I found no issue with most of the humor coming from him. There is more humor that is not mentioned in the trailers that is really worth chuckling over.

Finally, the fight scenes were clean, the animation was captivating, and the incredible Brian Tyler produced musical masterpieces for most every scene, some of it connecting to other movies and shows.

"Spoiler" take, now!

I expected to dislike Elita. Really, I did. I knew she was the “love interest” for Optimus Prime beforehand and expected big things from her, because Optimus Prime never struck me as having a “love interest” in the past. Not only that, but I expected her to be the female character I seem to find everywhere these days who strives to be better than everyone else without a lick of experience, complaining about the male figures in her life.

Elita, however, is ambitious. She leads. She doesn’t have to prove anything; she’s simply willing to work hard and do her job. Understandably, she gets upset with Orion Pax and the others when they interrupt her progress, though I can’t help but be amused by Orion Pax’s shy attempt to get her attention and adored his subtle acts of kindness. Sure, she’s a tad bit aggressive – she did punch Orion Pax, after all – but I really enjoyed seeing her adapt. When Orion Pax was feeling hopeless, she was there to encourage him. If she had stopped talking immediately after saying “I’m better” I would have been frustrated. Orion Pax and D-16 are the main characters in Transformers One, after all. She didn’t stop there, though. She highlighted the most important aspects of Orion Pax; his good heart, selflessness, and bravery. She told Shockwave and the others to shut up and listen to Orion Pax when they doubted his plan. She encouraged him to speak louder when others couldn’t hear him. She leaned towards the pit when Orion Pax fell.

Not only that, but Orion Pax was incredibly patient with her. He woke her up when she was unconscious and immediately took a punch to the face like a champ. He gently, subtlety smiled at her when they traveled to the surface and Elita announced "it's beautiful." He cried out her name and pushed her out of the way to save her during a battle. He listened to her. He told her to beat Arachnid “gently” when Elita managed to detain her, proving he fully understood Elita’s personality.

I’m sorry, but this kind of relationship takes the cake. If they’re meant to be a couple, I can see the signs. I love how well they work together and build each other up.

Bee is an icon. One of my favorite scenes is him eagerly saying to Orion Pax “I’m going to go cut these guys up, watch! C’MERE!” It’s like a proud kid trying to get their parent to watch. I love how loyal he is to Orion Pax right off the bat.

While they changed some lore in Transformers One, they included everything that was important. Orion Pax and D-16 are miners, but it seems Orion Pax may have been a clerk beforehand. When he broke into the archives, he seemed to know where he was going. When he ran, I can’t remember exactly, but I believe he was muttering numbers? I don’t mind the small twists and can see how they were necessary for the story; key details are kept.

Jazz and Ratchet mention! I was so excited to hear their names. Kind of wish they had shown Ratchet, maybe shouting “I needed that!” to a fumbling worker. Sorry, Transformers Prime reference.

Arachnid had an incredible design.

Sentinel is a well-written, hate-worthy villain. I… did not expect D-16 to rip him in half, though.

Also… can I just mention how epic that particular scene was? The switch from D-16 reaching his peak character development – showing no mercy – while Orion Pax reached his – making the ultimate sacrifice to preserve life and do things the right way; receiving the Matrix of Leadership. The music, the animation, the slow-motion… everything was incredibly cinematic.

Obviously, D-16 took things too far. I appreciated the fact that he didn’t just wake up one day and decide to be evil. It took time. It took motivation. Obviously, any sane person would stand with Optimus Prime, though he does make mistakes from time to time, but it was incredibly neat to actually appreciate D-16’s insight in the beginning, then notice the shift and feel every bit of emotion Orion Pax felt.

People say the ending is rushed, or that D-16’s change came too abruptly without any good motivation. Sure, the ending may be a little rushed, but movies are typically structured this way. Falling action does not have a set speed; it just needs to be well done. Bad things happen in a rush, and this leaves ample opportunity for the “good guys” to react a little too slowly. As for D-16’s motivation… even a person can take their worship of an item or figure too far. Megatronus was someone to look up to in D-16’s eyes. He agreed to Orion Pax’s plans, or at least tolerated them, but his admiration for Megatronus was his own interest. Orion Pax threatened that vision. D-16 wanted to kill Sentinel to satisfy his own needs and desires, not to liberate others. Sentinel deserved death after committing murder, yes. He didn’t, however, deserve a public execution, especially as he tried to get away and was relatively defenseless. Remember, Sentinel told D-16 and Bee that he would execute them in front of everyone. We can acknowledge his promise as brutal, so shouldn't D-16's actions be considered brutal, too? No "reason" could ever justify it.

When D-16 let Orion Pax drop, he proved he no longer cared about loyalty. The least he could do was hoist Orion Pax’s body up or break down after losing what he once called his best friend, but he didn’t.

It’s ironic… D-16 said “I’m done saving you” when in reality, Orion Pax was trying to save D-16 from doing something he knew D-16 should have regretted doing. Normally, yes, D-16 is the voice of reason, but not in this case. For once, this is where Orion Pax’s true personality shines through. His spark – the spark of a Prime – is in the right place. Orion Pax puts joking aside when serious matters arise. It seems D-16 didn’t really know his friend after all. The actions D-16 committed, my friends, are not actions you want to celebrate.

I really, really hope Transformers One gains more attention. We need the sequel! Transformers fans, tell your friends. Give an honest review, which are of more value than the reviews given by those who didn’t take the time to watch it. Hype it up and roll out!

[spider-jaysart]

Today I'm introducing a dear oc created by both me and my friend @paladin-of-nerd-fandom65 !!

Marco Grayson!!!

(Click for better quality) The first pic is their hero suit and the second one is their casual, default outfit

Name: Marco Grayson and Markoand'r in Tamaranean (which is a name of one of Tamaran's first Kings/Warriors "Markoand'r the deathfire". A little headcanon by @pin-crusher2000 )

Hero name: Starwing

Age: 6-7 years old

Personality: Fierce, stubborn, is always too brave without a care, sometimes is weird in his little way, often passionate/determined, and is a sweet kid with a good heart

Orientation: Gay

Random facts:

Marco is the third and youngest child of Dick and Kory

Marco's favorite Uncle is Damian. Marco looks up to him a lot too and they get eachother, since they're mostly similar in their ways, and are usually chaos together because of it

For others Marco is also close with besides him, it's their Siblings Mar'i and Jake, their 6 year old Aunt Helena Wayne, Wade West, and two playful civilian friends from school named Jarred and Lizza

Marco is in a hero duo with Wade West (aka The Blur) called SpeedStar. They are best friends who grew up knowing eachother ever since they were babies (another headcanon by @pin-crusher2000 )

Marco loves dinosaurs and they are their fave animal. They even own lots of toys and other things of them because of it and they also know lots about them too, because of their interest in them. Bruce and Marco bond over this a lot and on special days, Damian will usually gift them cool art of dinosaurs too

Marco's fave films are the Jurrasic park movies and they're also not the type to mind the gore and instead thinks horror like that is cool

Marco has the condition CIP, which never let's them feel pain at all. This causes many worries most times from family, especially their parents. Dick and Kory usually have to check them to see if they're really okay anywhere, even on normal days for anything, since they don't understand how bad pain is or what it's like at all, which can often make them feel overbearing to Marco, but they only do it cause Marco would never be able to tell them themself if there ever was a problem, so they both have to always keep up with them for their child's own good just to be sure

Marco actually has 7 stomachs while both their siblings have 6

Marco's voice sounds like AJ's from TellTales the walking dead games series in season 4, but slightly lighter on the heavy part

Marco is ticklish on their feet like their Dad, but their most sensitive spots are their ears and ribs

Marco will eat anything, which can also be concerning sometimes. They get this from Kory who isn't a picky eater and Dick who just be tasting anything that's apart of clues like it's normal💀 Marco's fave foods tho are cookie dough and their Mom's more stranger cooking, which are unlike her usual Tamaranean dishes

When Marco becomes a teenager in the future, they begin going by They/Them pronouns and have a boyfriend by that time too, who is Dorin (aka Green Troia), the Son of both Donna Troy and Kyle Rayner, and is also a popular supermodel who sometimes takes up gigs in his spare time (once again another headcanon by @pin-crusher2000 and that oc is created by him)

Marco got help on their hero suit from Mar'i and Jake and got it approved by Damian after immediately taking it to him for reviewing lol. Damian was impressed by the results of the design and the only thing he suggested was a mask, but Marco rejected the idea, since they like the idea of being free like their Mother and big Sis, which left Damian a bit grumpy internally but he just dealt with it lol

Marco is a proud member of the Robin!Damian defense squad/fan club with their Aunt Helena, since Damian is one of them that just gets too much hate a lot of times

Unlike others who often make fun or judge it, Marco actually loves Damian's horned boots and thinks they're so cool, since they remind them so much of dinosaurs

Damian has a nickname for Marco, which is Goofball

Marco is one of the only special ones Damian gives out forehead kisses to as a habit from Talia always doing it to him when he was younger. But it's only between them, cause he has a tough reputation to keep still lmao

Marco has the the unique ability called Starblast, which is being able to breathe out a huge blast of Starbolt energy from their mouth after transferring it from both of their hands up into their lungs (think like Godzilla)

When Marco watched fireworks for the first time at 3 years old, they got so excited and overjoyed from the show, so since Starbolts are so similar to them, that's when their powers finally came out, when they were imitating them with their hands

[eternal-echoes]

“Your child says she's trans. Now what? Many parents are frightened that if they don't affirm the child's declared gender identity, they could lose their child. In fact, some trans activists openly discuss how they train family court judges to view parental hesitation as a form a "medical neglect."(2) As a result, some parents can lose custody of their children if they don't consent to hormones and surgery.(3) Therefore, what should you do if your child claims to be trans? If you don't affirm her proclaimed gender identity, are you rejecting her?

First off, here's what not to do: Don't freak out, be dismissive, tell her it's just a phase, try to win a debate, convince her she's immature, or remind her that the frontal lobe of her brain isn't fully developed. Upon reading this, some parents might think, "Okay, I already managed to do all of that during our first conversation, and now she's locked in her room with her earphones on, not answering the door, and probably staring at her cellphone screen again. Any suggestions for damage control?"

When the dust settles, approach her gently and say, "I want to apologize. I'm sorry I didn't handle that very well. I honestly wasn't sure what to think or what to say. Do you mind if I could try to listen again?" Although teenagers often have a short attention span when listening to their parents, they have a surprisingly long one when parents offer a sincere apology. Nonetheless, if she spouts off a snarky reply, give her a pass this time. Let her air her grievances.

Should she be willing to reengage in a conversation, here are ten tips for your initial discussions:

One: Express gratitude that she has shared this information with you. Odds are, these feelings have been brewing in her mind for quite some time, but she was afraid to talk to you about them. She might have privately navigated through stages of initial awareness about her gender dysphoria, followed by waves or confusion, shame, exploration, self-rejection, resignation, and acceptance. For her to confide in you more deeply about where she's at in this process, she'll need to feel safe.

Two: Express reverent curiosity. By the time she talks to you about this, she has probably spent countless hours learning about the subject online and discussing it with others. If you don't understand concepts or terms she uses, invite her to explain what she means by them. If some of them strike you as absurd, unscientific, or theologically unsound, now is not the time to debate. Listen and learn what she's thinking. If you show her that you're willing to listen to her, in due time she'll value what you have to say in return. If she's open to sharing with you some of the sources where she's learned about the topic of gender, take the time to explore what they are saying, so you can better understand what she's thinking. In time, as she sees that you're willing to learn more about what matters to her, she may be open to reviewing resources you could share with her, that charitably call into question some of the ideologies she may have internalized.

Three: Be empathetic. Don't try to disprove her feelings. Rather, find places where you agree and might be able to affirm her ache or discontent. You could say, "I can see why you would feel constrained by the way the world expects people to fit into stereotypes. That makes sense." Although you might not agree on what it means for her live as her "authentic self," you can affirm her desire to live authentically. You could also affirm that this must be difficult to experience and acknowledge that you realize she didn't choose to feel this way. It's possible to validate her feelings without validating her reasoning, beliefs, and ideology. You could add, "I can see this has been very hard on you. I hear what you're saying, and I want to help. Thank you for trusting me with this."

Four: Rather than interrogating her, ask thoughtful questions. For example, "Can you tell me more about this? I want to understand." "What can I do for you?" "What has it been like to tell me about this? It must have taken courage." As your conversations deepen with time, you might be able to gradually map out the history of conflicts she has felt with her sexual identity. For example, "When did you start feeling this way?" "What was happening in your life at that time?" "When does the discomfort feel most intense?" For some individuals, gender dysphoria is like a white noise always playing in the background of their lives. For others, it fluctuates in intensity, and certain things such as formal attire and events (where individuals are expected to dress in a strictly masculine or feminine way) could trigger dysphoria. Another female recalled, "I felt the most dysphoric in my teenage years just in my bedroom.”(4) As you learn more about her experiences, you can discover ways to avoid triggering some of the distress.

Five: Don't debate her memories, even if they seem embellished. Parents of gender dysphoric teens often note that their child often reinterprets their childhood history through a transgender lens. Rather than trying to disprove her recollection, listen to her perception.

Six: Be humble. If she points out some of your flaws and the hurts that you have caused, own what you can without blame-shifting. Seek forgiveness where it is needed. Often, parents worry that if they admit blame, they empower their children to hold things against them. The opposite is true. When children witness authentic vulnerability, they learn from example that ownership of one's shortcomings is a trait to be emulated.

Seven: Remind her that she is loved. Reaffirm that you will never leave her, no matter what. Explain that God loves her unconditionally as well. Perhaps you could take this moment to also apologize on behalf of the Church if she has ever been alienated by members of her faith community. Reassure her that God loves her, that He desires a personal relationship with her, and that the Church is her home. Assure her of your prayers and encourage her to have a genuine prayer life as well.

Eight: Listen for deeper motives. Drs. Yarhouse and Sadusky write:

What motivates their gender atypical behavior varies. Teens may engage in atypical expression to manage gender dysphoria, reduce anxiety about body image, express a sense of "true self," experience sexual arousal, seek entertainment, or respond to boredom. Moreover, some teens do appear to be in a search for identity and community.(5)

Each person's motivation is their own. But by listening well, you can gradually discover that there are often motives that run much deeper than simply the profession, "I'm trans." What might appear on the surface to be a feeling of inadequacy could have a layer of shame beneath it, and self-hatred at the core. Insofar as these or other deeper factors surface, try to help them distinguish how they feel from who they are. Your unconditional love will help her to explore difficult emotions such as resentment, anger, hurt, and self-loathing, so that the deeper unmet needs can be addressed with healthy strategies.

Nine: Don't pull away from your child. The topic of gender can cause so much relational friction that some parents opt for a "flight" response, hoping the difficulty will spontaneously resolve if they ignore it long enough. One young woman recalled that as she was wrestling with the idea of gender, she felt as if she were being pushed in a "confused and desperate head space" by her parent's isolated attitude toward her. Speaking of her mother, she wished that she "would have shown a bit more understanding and asked me some questions and talked to me like I was a human being going through a struggle rather than a problem to be solved."(6) So, rather than viewing her as a problem to be solved, consider her to be a mystery to be gradually revealed. According to existing research on the well-being of LGBT-identifying young people, the best predictor of their well-being over time is the quality of their relationship with you, their parents.(7)

Ten: Buy yourself time. You could say, "To be honest, this is a lot for me to understand. But I can tell that this really matters to you, and so I want you to know that I take this seriously because of that. I need some time to process our conversation and learn more about this." Telling her that you need time enables you to avoid making any major decisions or promises (other than love) in your initial conversations. It allows you time to strategize how to help them manage their dysphoria in the least invasive manner possible. Further, it models the type of thoughtful discernment around complexity that you hope your child would emulate.”

-Jason Evert, Male, Female, or Other: A Catholic Guide to Understanding Gender

—

Work cited:

2) Julian Vigo, "Capitulating to Bullies: Brown University and the Transgender Lobby vs. Science," Public Discourse (October 7, 2018).

3) Cf. Ryan Anderson, "Parents Denied Custody of Child for Refusing Support of Transgenderism: Here's What You Need to Know," Lifesitenews.com, February 19, 2018.

4) "DETRANSITION Q&A (#1)," https://youtu.be/kxVmSGTgNxI.

5) Mark Yathouse and Julia Sadusky, Emerging Gender Identities (Ada, MI: Brazos Press, 2020), 67.

6) "DETRANSITION Q&A (#1)," https://youtu.be/kxVmSGTgNxI.

7) Cf. Yarhouse and Sadusky, Emerging Gender Identities, 66.

—

For more recommended resources on gender dysphoria, click here.

[minefield-of-a-ninja]

*image of Jensen Ackles is used with permission of the photographer Mandi Lea Photogtaphy.

Summary: After a significant career shift and subsequent break-up, Brandy Miller moves to Wayne County, Pennsylvania, to be closer to family. She invests in a small, sight-unseen condo in a “quiet, charming neighborhood with views of the Poconos and neighbors you can count on.” One particular neighbor seems to have a unique interpretation of what that means.

Characters: Brandy Miller x Soldier Boy, Serge Bernard, Kimiko Miyashiro (mentioned), Maggie Shaw, Annie January, Hughie Campbell, MM (mentioned), John James Davis (AKA Homelander but just as SB’s 21yo son), Butcher (mentioned)

Warnings/tags in this chapter: 18+ ONLY, sexual tension, sexual objectification, rough and degrading sex dream, alcohol, Soldier Boy is a terrible father, explicit sexual content

Words in this chapter: 3,500

Author’s notes: Soldier Boy will be referred to by many names in this fic. The full name I’ve given him is Benjamin James Davis III.

Thank you to @brrose-apothecary @stusbunker and @talltalesandbedtimestories for pre-reads and green lights!

This fills my #Inconsiderate Neighbor square for @jacklesversebingo

SPOTIFY PLAYLIST - key tracks for this chapter: "Smooth Sailing" by QOTSA and "A Mistake" by Fiona Apple

CHAPTER ONE

The last five years have been wild. A global pandemic impacted our life choices and decisions more than any other event in the previous 50 years. Career shifts, resettling in vastly different communities, honest declarations of who we are as people and who we love — these things I’ve witnessed first-hand.

I was an executive for a nationally renowned advertising agency. My partner of six years was a successful stock trader. About three weeks into our second lockdown, I realized I couldn’t stand the guy. I went through every reason why I’d have stayed for so long if he was so horrible. I wondered if he hated me too. Then one day, he told me.

“Brandy, I can’t do this anymore.”

He didn’t hate me; he just didn’t love me. He wasn’t horrible; he just wasn’t for me. 

Working remotely gave me a similarly renewed perspective on my career choice. I worked 12 hours a day from my home office overlooking Central Park, drank a bottle of wine to go to sleep, then got up the next morning to do it all over again. Meanwhile, everyone in America was tightening their purse strings on ad spend.

Now, I’m in the Honesdale borough of Wayne County, Pennsylvania, working as a freelance document review specialist. I’m single, own my two-bedroom condo outright, and spend Sundays with my sister Amber and her two teenagers over in Damascus. 

These changes introduced me to a set of concepts that I had previously denied. I thought I was happy, successful, content. 

But I’m told that a constant desire for more hinders contentment. Comparison is the thief of joy, as they say. A sense of entitlement will always bite you in the ass. A lack of gratitude prevents you from appreciating what you already have and fosters a need for something beyond.

As it happens, I have a prospective client meeting in Scranton this afternoon, and my brand-new Jeep won’t start. I guess they don’t make them like they used to. 

“Brandy, mon amie, where are you?” my friend Serge answers my call with worry in his voice.

“My truck won’t start,” I whine.

Last month, I complained to Serge and his partner-in-all-things Kimiko that government work was beginning to bore me. I like new things, which is a bummer, considering desire hinders contentment. Kimiko offered to introduce me to her brother, who works with one of the largest healthcare companies in the country. 

“Oh, cher...” Serge laments in sympathy.

“I know, I know. And this fucking podunk town’s got like two cabs and one Lyft serving the entire county.”

I roll my neck and eyes in frustration, and in my periphery, I glimpse a man inside a single garage stall working on a motorcycle. I’ve never seen him before, but judging by the military-themed tattoos, evident dexterity with the tools he’s wielding, and his proportions, he’s the ‘asshole military contractor’ my next-door neighbor, Maggie, told me about when I moved in. 

Serge frets in Frenglish on the other end of the line before returning to the point. “On se’n occupe. We will handle it.”

I watch my newly discovered neighbor deftly flex and twist and wonder if he’s as adept with other motor vehicles. “Please tell Kimiko I’m sorry and understand if this opportunity’s off the table now.”

My words are meant for Serge, but the man not 10 yards away sends me a subtle, knowing look. There’s an enduring facet of competence and perception in every flick of his eyes and wrist, every shrug of his thick, broad shoulders, and the taunting slant of his jaw. He knows I’m watching him and knows I’m in a bind. 

He pities me.

I tell Serge that I’ll let him know how things go with the car before ending the call then tentatively head toward my neighbor’s garage stall.

“Hey there, I’m Brandy.” I thumb over my shoulder, indicating the general area of my condo. “Are you BJ?”

He smirks at his greasy wrench before answering, “BJ, Soldier Boy, Captain,” then pauses as he drags his eyes from his task to pin me in place. “Take your pick, sweetheart.”

He looks me down and up, slow and heavy, licking his lips. His demeanor would be comical at best and frightening at worst if I weren’t so stunned by the sheer audacity. As he unfolds from a squat, his muscles shift and grind under his sweat-slicked skin. He wipes his filthy hands on a filthier rag and saunters toward me. I have never in my life been so blatantly objectified right to my face.

“Need a ride?” he asks, meeting my eyes again. The rounded toes of his grungy work boots tap the points of my Jimmy Choos.

“I-” I attempt to speak but don’t know what to say. I should be outraged. I should tell him he can’t just look at people like that. He can’t just invade my space.

He tilts his head, and his eyes drop to my chest. “You're all flushed, Brandy. Feeling okay?” He drops his rag to the concrete before ghosting a finger along my collarbone.

Air returns to my lungs and the flush in my chest rises up my throat to my face. I smack his hand away and take a step back. “What the fuck?! Do you always harass and assault women half your size, or is it just me?”

Centuries of gaslighting threaten to drown me from one single look. And then he speaks. “My bad. Didn’t know you were a prude.”

He raises his hands in feigned surrender before returning to his bike.

“I’m a prude because I don’t like being evaluated like a pig going to slaughter?”

He rolls his eyes and sighs. “Listen—no harm, no foul, alright? I thought you were game; you’re not, no big deal.”

“Man, I came over here as a neighbor to introduce myself. You clearly heard part of my call and know my car isn’t starting. I thought, since you’re in here working on a motorcycle, you might also know something about cars.”

He nods. “Got it. Is that where we’re at right now? You want me to take a look at your car?”

“Jesus- what?! Are you for real?”

“No? Okay, then.” He turns his back, and I stare at him for a moment.

Thoughts swirl through my mind. Where is your spine, Brandy? Show him what you’re made of. This isn’t over until you say it is.

A slave to my guts and ego, I’m determined to re-engage. “Yes.” 

He slowly faces me again, eyebrows raised and head tilted in question. “Yes?”

“Yes. I’d appreciate it if you’d take a look at my Jeep.”

His expression shifts—softens, some might say, but his eyes remain hard and cold. “‘Course. What kinda neighbor would I be if I didn’t?”

He strides toward my two-car stall across from his, and I follow with no other excuse than my competitive spirit and morbid fascination with opposition. 

“You pay extra for two stalls?” he asks, glancing at the gym area I’ve set up beside my Jeep before rounding its hood.

From what I’ve gathered in this brief and bracing interaction, Captain BJ Soldier Boy isn’t a small-talk kind of person, but I’m not sure yet why he’s asking a simple question like that. I decide to answer as simply.

“Yeah.”

He nods and gestures to the driver’s seat. “Pop the hood.”

I watch through my windshield and the slant of space between the hood and my dash as he quickly pokes and prods at things I know nothing about. Less than two minutes later, he drops the hood shut and walks around to the open driver’s side door.  

“Try it now.” He’s rubbing his hands together and his brow is slightly furrowed like he wishes he hadn’t tossed that rag aside in his garage.

I turn the key in the ignition, and it starts with no issue. 

My morning started with limited knowledge of this man and the inner workings of my Jeep. I had a single goal in mind to expand my client portfolio. I did not grow my business, I have not learned anything new about my vehicle, and my introduction to my neighbor has provided me with very little satisfaction. 

“Coupla loose terminals. It happens with new cars. Gotta break ‘em in.”

I flick my eyes to meet his. He holds my gaze, licks his bottom lip back between his teeth, then backs away before strolling away. 

+

“He’s the fucking poster boy for misogyny.”

Maggie nods as she tops off my glass of wine. “Yeah, calling him an asshole is an insult to assholes, honestly.”

“I felt like I was transported back to the 1950s or something. He’s a caricature of misogyny.”

“The embodiment,” Maggie replies, settling back into her sofa and sipping her wine.

“Does he think that works on women? Like, are there women in his sphere who respond favorably to his behavior? He can’t be rewarded by it. Maybe he’s conducting a social experiment.”

Maggie laughs. “You’re giving him way too much credit.”

“Then why?”

Maggie stares at me for a beat. “The question is, why do you care?”

I’ve thought of nothing else since he left me in my garage yesterday morning. I felt defeated by him. Used, somehow. Inconsequential in the end.

“I hate how he made me feel.”

Maggie remains silent and intent. She’s a great listener, and she never judges.

“I had a dream about him last night.”

She nods. “And how did that make you feel?”

I shake my head and draw a deep breath. It made me feel hot and wild. I was angry and hungry for him. Or for redemption, revenge, or victory. 

“It makes no sense. We interacted for like 10 minutes and I haven’t seen him since. That’s why I care. I can’t get him out of my head. I keep thinking of what I should’ve said or done instead of standing there like a deer in headlights.”

“Don’t let your pride rule you with him. He has no morals, no decency. You won’t win.” 

“You think I’m trying to win something.” 

She’s right. Maggie and I are a lot alike, but she’s smarter and more cautious than I am. Somewhere along the line, she learned a lesson I have yet to let sink in. She learned to resist a challenge and walk away. 

“Aren’t you?”

I shrug. “Maybe.”

“Let’s change the subject,” Maggie suggests. “Did you get that meeting rescheduled, or is it dead?”

I fill her in on my chat with Kimiko. Kimiko’s brother Kenji was gracious enough to reschedule for next week, and I decided it best to go up the night before and spend the night with her and Serge in case I have any other car problems. 

Maggie opens a second bottle of wine and we proceed with our binge of Dead To Me on Netflix. 

+

I’m face down on my weight bench, straddling the padded seat with his fist in my hair and his cock hammering me from behind. He’s saying things to me, violent, hateful words, calling me names.

My wrists are bound, I’m blindfolded, and I am so wet. So wet from his rough hands, the way he slaps my ass and hips and pulls my hair. His voice is deep and rich, and it dominates the atmosphere and my mind. 

He’s had me so many times already, and he wants more. He wants to devour me. He can’t get enough of me.

And I never want him to stop. He treats me like a whore, tells me I’m his whore, and I can’t stop soaking his cock and slicking up the bench. 

“You fucking love my cock.”

“Yes, yes, yes, fuck me.”

I wake up in a sweat after a third night dreaming of him. I feel fractured and unlike myself. I’ve never wanted the kinds of things I’m dreaming about him. I’ve never wanted a man to degrade me or tie me up. 

And this man is a pig of a man. 

But I can’t get him out of my head.

I’m aching and breathless. My sheets are soaked from sweat and my pussy. I reach into my nightstand for my vibrator to soothe the twitching between my legs and rid him from my mind. I think about all the things that usually get me off, but he just keeps coming back around with big, rough hands and dirty words, and teeth that score my tender flesh.

I come silently, arching into my mattress, imagining his hands around my wrists and his cock driving into me hard.

+

When I told the newlyweds who live across the hall from my nemesis that I’d never been to our neighborhood bar, they invited me to join them for burgers and beers. 

“I know it doesn’t look like much, but Butcher’s is an institution. I literally grew up in this bar,” Annie tells me as her husband Hughie distributes sticky menus and napkin roll-ups. 

“I’ll get a pitcher,” Hughie says and heads to the bar.

“I like it. Thanks for bringing me.”

I glance around the space, taking in old pictures and carved sentiments in the wooden beams. It still smells faintly of cigarette smoke after decades of No Smoking laws have been enforced. It reminds me of my favorite New York dive bar.

“Well, I’m glad. I’m sure it can’t be easy to transplant to a place like Honesdale where everybody knows everybody.”

“You know, it hasn’t been too bad. Between you two and Maggie, I’m meeting all the neighbors and learning the ropes like a real local.”

I don’t mention the man who’s rapidly infiltrated every dark corner of my brain since we’re having such a nice time. I don’t want to spoil it, but you don’t always get what you want.

“Ugh, BJ,” Annie gripes, reaching for a menu even though she surely has it memorized. “He is so gross.”

I hazard a glance in the direction of her glare to see the bane of my existence waltzing toward the bar. 

“He better not fuck with Hughie,” Annie says, narrowing her eyes as he brushes shoulders with her groom. 

Hughie gracefully ignores the man’s obvious intention to needle him, gathers three chilled pint glasses and our pitcher, and rounds the crowd away from Captain Creep to return to the table.

“Who’s the kid?” I ask, finally noticing a quiet young man with BJ at the bar.

“That’s his son John. That kid’s been through the wringer with BJ and his mom. I don’t know why he still comes around; he clearly cannot stand the man any more than us.”

John’s smaller than his dad. He’s almost delicate-looking with a thick swath of blonde hair and deep blue eyes. He doesn’t have the swagger of the man next to him, and he seems to wish he were anywhere but here.

“MM, my man, it’s my boy’s 21st birthday! Get him a whiskey and a round for the house on me.”

“Hey.” Hughie settles the pint glasses on the table before filling each one, serving Annie and me first, then sitting down to pour his own. “John’s 21st. This oughtta be an interesting night.”

Annie tells me stories about babysitting John when he was a kid. He was sweet and gentle, quiet but curious, and his dad taunted him for it.

“He called his 6-year-old son a pussy.” She shakes her head. “Who does that?”

John slides into a barstool and idly sips his whiskey. A few of the older patrons wish him Happy Birthday, and MM makes a point to keep his water glass and popcorn bowl full while John’s dad struts around, flirting with every woman and slapping the backs of every man. 

It’s odd to see people react to him positively. Men, no matter their age, appear to admire him, and every woman he smiles at blushes and giggles. 

“They don’t know him like we do,” Hughie says. “Should we order? Butcher’s in the back tonight.”

I decide on the ”Terror,” a half-pound beef burger with taleggio, prosciutto, and peperoncini, medium-rare. Annie recommends the cheesy house fries with special sauce as a shared dish, and within 20 minutes, we have our food and a second pitcher.

A soft buzz from light American beer warms and loosens me up. In this state, I’m less critical of my thoughts about the man who’s starred in my most desperate and debased dreams this past week. 

He looks good. He’s agile and powerful, which is a spectacular combination. People laugh at his jokes. They gravitate toward him. They think he’s charming and handsome, and from the background of Annie’s stories, I learn that he’s not only a merc but a war hero. 

It’s nice to feel something other than the overwhelming angst and shame I’ve felt all week. He affects people; it’s okay. I’m not an outlier. I just have to ride this out.

We finish our food, and I excuse myself to the restroom. There’s a vanilla candle burning on a table beside a well-loved armchair, a basket with single-size toiletries, pads and tampons, condoms, hand soap, and lotion. Definite homey vibe.

As I step through the door back into the hallway, I’m jolted from my chill by a deep voice.

“Look at you all caszh and relaxed.” 

He’s propped between the men’s and women’s, so close I brush his arm when I whirl around to connect the voice with a face.

“Jesus, you scared me.”

“Hmm.” He pushes off the wall and turns into me, backing me against the closed door.

“There’s that flush,” he murmurs. He does that thing with his finger again that made me smack his hand away earlier this week. This time, I let him.

“Is it because I scared you,” he pauses and catches my eye. “Or something else?”

I close my eyes and let my head fall back to the door, feeling the heat and buzz of a potentially malicious yet certainly pleasurable outcome. He slides a knee between my thighs and skims a heavy hand over my hip, nuzzling against my throat with a low chuckle.

My breath catches in my chest under the hand he has pressed there, holding me in place, keeping me where he wants me. Ire swirls and rises from my gut, and I grip his t-shirt in my fists to yank him into the restroom.

“There she is.” He stumbles backward with a grin as I throw the lock.

“Shut up.” I push him to sit in the chair before climbing astride him and diving in.

His lips are plush and demanding, his beard is soft, and his mouth is superheated and whiskey-wet. He’s hard and hot everywhere I touch as I tug at the button and zipper of his jeans. His hands roam over denim and my cotton t-shirt. He nips at my lips and toys with the button of my jeans.

“Fuck,” I growl, pushing out of his lap to get my pants down.

Before I know it, he’s spun me around, and he’s shimmying my jeans and underwear over my hips and down my thighs. He slumps into the chair and fits a condom over his length, then juts his hips forward to give me a place to rest. One long arm wraps my middle, and he slips two fingers over my wet slit. The wide pads of his fingertips swirl around my clit, and I brace my hands on the arms of the chair. Then he’s teasing me with his hard cock, rutting underneath, making me squirm. 

When he finally pushes inside, I shout and groan from the stretch and insane rhythm he’s keeping on my clit. I go off—ride him, pumping my thighs and elbows, using his arm around my middle for leverage. 

In less than a minute, I’m coming. One second later, he’s on his feet with me on my knees in the chair. He forces me to bend and hold onto the back, grips my bare hips, and pushes inside me again. He’s muttering, grunting, and, god, he’s hitting that spot with every thrust. 

“Come on, Brandy,” he gasps. “Lemme feel that tight little cunt come again. Make me come.”

I reach down between my legs and press over my mound, relishing his measured thrusts. I’m booze and fuck drunk, and my ears are ringing. His hands tighten on my hips, and we both come, swearing and howling.

Chapter Two

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More Soldier Boy | MJ's Master List

[laviefantasie]

“Just A Girl” : 01

“ GOJO SATORU X PRESIDENT’S DAUGHTER READER ”

SYNOPSIS: After insisting so much, you’re finally given the opportunity to attend college away from home and feel like a normal girl. It is there that you meet Gojo Satoru, another undergraduate student, and for the first time in your life are shown what having a true connection feels like. Or at least that’s what you think…

SERIES MASTERLIST

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I never thought my life was anything but ordinary. Never did I ever think it was weird that most of my birthday parties were mostly full of adults, nor did I question why unless I was at a tea party organized by one of my mother’s friends my friends were mostly my stuff animals

It was what I had always known as a child. Even as a teenager my world were only my parents, my teacher, my nanny, and the staff that constantly followed me around.

What I never got used to? The flashes.

I roll my eyes and turn off the TV abruptly, throwing myself backwards in my king bed. Another day, another news reporter judging my image. Tale as old as time.

Grabbing the nearest pillow, I cover my face and scream.

“Miss,” a knock on the door makes me stop self- pitying, “your breakfast is served”

Inhaling, I stand up and grab my phone from my nightstand before leaving my bedroom. Outside stood Yuki Tsukumo, father’s trusting secretary that has also worked as a bridge for us whenever we are president and first daughter instead of father and daughter.

“Not ready for the day yet?”

“It’s 5:26 in the morning” I smile softly, “I’m just in time for breakfast from 5:30 to 5:50, digesting from 5:50 to 6:00, running from 6:00 to 6:30, and then showering before the real schedule begins”

“That’s my girl” smiles Yuki.

As soon as we arrive at the dining room I sit down besides my father, whose already reading through the notes sent to his iPad. My mother at his other side is reviewing her schedule for the day.

Another normal day for the Y/L/N family.

“Good morning, mom, dad”

“Morning pumpkin” smiles my father, turning off his iPad, “Ready for today?”

I nod smiling before taking a bite of the waffle in front of me. What was in schedule for today anyways?

My mom laughs softly before snapping her fingers, which makes Yuki leave my own iPad beside my plate of food. Schedule for the day already opened.

Fitting at 7:30: Alexander McQueen

Family interview at 9:00

Father’s speech at 10:00

Lunch with the vice president’s family at 12:00…

A sigh escaped my lips as I keep on reading the never ending list of things to do for the day. Most of which consisted of me smiling perfectly for pictures without moving a muscle, or speaking for the matter.

No surprise there. This had been my life the last four years and even before that, it had been all I’ve known.

The price to pay for having parents in politics.

“Do we really have to have lunch with the Zenin’s?” You groan.

Your father sighs, “They may not be the best company, but the matriarch is the best vice president I could’ve wished for. So, yes, we have to”

Your father was right and you knew that. Mrs. Zenin was probably the only good thing of that family that had only been known for corruption. She turned it all around, she even went against their sexist claims and became the matriarch.

She was someone to look up to. Her son though? Not so much. He was 100% his father, maybe only getting his mother’s looks.

“It’s the time for appearances, honey” your mother reminds you, “Reelections are soon. Once that’s over things will go back to normal”

Normal, you sigh.

Normal means new schedules to be followed to build your image. Normal means attending different events and parties according to convenience.

Normal means not normal at all.

“Miss Y/L/N” Yuki calls.

You turn to ask hear her only to see her pointing at her watch. You look at your iPad to see the time.

5:46 a.m.

You curse in your head realizing you had only four minutes to finish your still full plate of food, that if you wanted to stay on time. Which you had to.

Sighing, you clean your mouth before excusing yourself from the table.

Just four more days, you remind yourself, four more days and your new life starts. With that thought a smile graces your features and you run upstairs to start the rest of your day.

⛊ ☼ ⛉ ☼ ⛊ ☼ ⛉ ☼ ⛊

You sighed for the millionth time as you say on your bed, ordered to sit still and watch as your staff packed your belongings. One of the fantasies you had when imagining the start of your normal life was packing by yourself.

I guess that was too greedy of you.

A knock on your door snaps you out of your boredom, your father soon entering making a smile grow on your face.

“Dad!”

You run towards your father and hug him, feeling a warm envelop your chest as you feel him kiss the top of your head.

“Ready for the big day?”

“Oh, God, please don’t” you groan, “I’m starting at Magus Pugnate University tomorrow like a normal girl. Which means no grand parade!”

Your father sighs, “Do you know your mom, honey? Impossible. It’s go big or go home”

You groan out loud making your father laugh and his hold on you tighten.

“I swear I’ll scream if they play ‘Hail to the Chief’, dad” he laughs.

“Come on, let’s go” he starts guiding me to the Oval Office, “Tomorrow is a big day. Law school isn’t easy, munchkin”

“I’m ready” you assure him.

He smile, proud, “I know”

“There you are! Finally”

You both turn with guilty looks towards your mother, in her all First Lady glory, as she glares at you both.

“We don’t have all day, i thought you knew that already” she shakes her head, “Yuki start with the itinerary”

Yuki nods, smiling softly towards you before starting to list the absolutely ridiculous schedule that you had ahead of you—flying on Air Force 1, driving up to Magus Pugnate University where a parade would lead all of you to a quad for a press conference, and then, dropping you off in your university’s private dorm suite after securing it.

You were slightly annoyed as you listened. You dreamt of getting on a commercial flight and driving yourself to university where you’d settle in your dorm with a roommate as normal people do.

But you weren’t normal, and lately that was a really tough pill to swallow.

“They won't ask you about policy. They'll probably ask you about…” you zone out, “…Yaga will accompany you there to make sure everything is secured before leaving you with Sukuna, Higuruma, Nanami and Nitta with you at all times”

“W-wait, what?” You stuttered, “Not only is the Head of Security going but also the four of them? With me? And what you mean at all times? You mean the four of them?”

Your father nods, “Of course, as usual”

“Usual is me going out to events or public spaces” you continue, “I’m going to university, a private one even. A university that is very strict on who they accept. Why do I need that many security?”

“Because you’re my daughter”

That sentence is meat to make you understand. That sentence is enough for him to consider the conversation over and continue with the next subject.

The heavy weight that being the First Daughter carries is one that makes you shake under it, hoping soon you’ll crumble.

Inhale, exhale, you remind yourself.

You’re going to university. For the first time in forever you’re doing something you want. Take it a step at a time.

That night, you tiptoe all through the White House until you make it to the main kitchen. There you open the fridge and get out the Blueberry Cheesecake the Head Chef had made. With no hesitation you grab two plates, cut two pieces and serve them, before grabbing two forks.

Grabbing one of the cakes, you start eating. Moaning in delight at the flavor.

“Ugh, I lost?” You hear your father groan behind you.

“Not blaming you, mom is hard to trick”

“She’d have my head for sure if she saw us right now” he grabs his own cake and takes a bite, “totally worth it though”

“Who would’ve thought Mr. President’s weakness would be Blueberry Cheesecake?” You gasp with humor, “Have I uncovered one of the country’s top secrets?!”

You father laughs with a roll of his eyes, taking another bite off his cake.

“Excited for tomorrow?”

You nod while eating, “I really hope it all goes well”

“Why wouldn’t it?”

You play around with the piece of cheesecake you had cut, debating whether you should voice your feelings or not.

“It’s just… I’m the First Daughter, you know?” You sigh, “Loved by many, hated by many more. Hard to approach, yet never ignored. I’m anxious to see how that’ll work out at university”

“You’ll be fine”

“I know… I hope” you sigh again, “I just really want it to be fun. I want to make friend who like me for me. I want to go out, maybe drink—”

“Excuse me?!”

You laugh, “Kidding. I just want to feel like a teenager for once”

“You will, sweetheart” he kisses the top of your head lovingly, hugging you from your side, “I promise you will”

You wanted to believe he was right. You hoped he was.

⛊ ☼ ⛉ ☼ ⛊ ☼ ⛉ ☼ ⛊

“So, remember, you're just like any other American family. Whose daughter is heading off to college” you repeat again inside the limo, “Remember, today you're not just the First Lady, but you're also a mom”

Your mom frowns slightly, “I'd like to think I'm both women every day”

You sigh, “In short, you're just a proud dad. Like every other dad…watching his little girl head off to University in another state”

Your father groans, “Ugh, don’t remind me. Why did you have to choose somewhere so far away?”

“The distance did influence my decision” you accept, “But MPU is the University for law”

Your father opens his mouth to possibly fight your argument, but the limo stops and soon enough Hail to the Chief starts being played by the band.

“Show time” you mutter to yourself.

Soon enough you’re being blinded by flashes as questions are being screamed at your family.

“Mr. President, how do you feel about your only child going to school so far away?” One says.

“Well, I’m suggesting moving the nation’s capitol”

Your father’s joke makes all of them laugh, even bringing a sincere smile to your face.

“Y/N, will you miss the capital?” Another asks, “Better yet, what will you miss the least?”

Your practices polite smile is once again on.

“Uh, tough question” you laugh politely, “Not sure on what I would miss least, so I can’t answer that… but I can answer what I’ll miss the most: my friends and family. But I’m very excited to experience life as everybody else, and have the famous college experience I’ve read so much about”

Thankfully soon after that the interviews are over and your family is being guided to the place you’ll be staying.

“Nitta is at the end of the hall, Higuruma in the middle, and Sukuna and Nanami will stay at your door” Yuki explains.

It’s the third time she’s said it in the last ten minutes since you’ve arrived.

You roll your eyes and focus once again on looking over your private suite. It was stunning. Big enough for one person, already with all the furniture one may need (although that probably was Yuki’s doing since it was decorated just as you’d wish for).

“Shining Star on site” you hear Nanami murmur into his microphone yet decide to ignore it.

“Not to late to turn back” you mother reminds you softly.

“I love it” you smile, “I’m so excited! Have any of the neighbors arrived?”

“Who are the neighbors?” Your father asks.

“Ieiri Shoko across, Geto Suguru at the end, and Gojo Satoru across from him” Nanami answers, “Miss Ieri is a senior in Psychology, parents still together and strong supporters in the polls; Geto Suguru senior in Law, divorced parents who also are strong supporters, childhood friend with Gojo Satoru who is also a senior in Law. Widowed mother, well-known law firm soon-to-be heir. All of them have been born and raised here, went to the same high school together”

Your eyes widen at the amount of information given. You feel slightly uncomfortable at knowing so much from the people sharing floor with you when they don’t even know you’re here yet.

“Have they arrived yet?”

“All of them have already settled down and are currently eating at the cafeteria across the street” Nanami continues checking his phone, “E.T.A. is 15 minutes”

Okay, scratch slightly uncomfortable, this was an invasion of privacy! It’s illegal!

Well, it was information given to the president…

You shake your head, deciding to focus on anything other than the guilt swallowing you whole.

“Did you check your itinerary with Yuki?”

You frown, “why?”

“Well, there are just a few small functions…”, your mother starts, “your father and I thought you might enjoy attending”

“Uh… do I have a choice?” Your parents shake their head, “Great”

Yaga comes inside, signaling to your parents that it’s time to leave.

“Already?” You ask with a slight pout.

“As if you aren’t dying to see us get out of here” your father jokes.

“Well, the President and the First Lady, totally” you nod, “Mom and dad? Not at all”

With teary eyes your mom holds your hand, guiding you outside your building where the cars are waiting for them to escort them.

You were really doing this, you were really leaving your perfect life behind and achieving one of your dreams. You’d have a normal experience just like everybody else.

“Okay” you mom takes a deep breath, trying to stop her tears, “Remember, a full load of laundry dries faster than half a load. Always take the stairs. Don't sweat the petty things”

“Yes, mom”

“Your father will be here all week campaigning in case…” her voice breaks “If you need anything, anything, call Yuki”

You nod softly, “I will, mom. But I’ll be okay”

Your mom hugs you tightly, letting some tears fall as she kisses your head, then letting go. Next comes your father, who holds your face in his hands softly as he stares at you as if trying to engrave your face in his memories.

“I…”

You sigh, smiling at the way your father blinks faster than normally as he tries to stop his eyes from getting teary.

“Just say you’ll miss me, dad”

“I’ll miss you, munchkin” he hugs you tightly, “As soon as elections are over, we’ll have a father-daughter day. And I mean the 24 whole hours”

“In a row?” You ask laughing.

“It’s a promise. If you dare try to reject my offer I’ll just kidnap you, I can do that” you laugh at his words, “Be good and have fun, okay?

You nod and stay there as they get inside the limo. Drying the tears that had fallen from your eyes as you watch them go.

“Are you guys gonna at least talk to me?” You ask them once you start making your way back inside, “I mean, since you’ll be following 24/7”

Sukuna stays quiet, barely even reacting to your voice, while Nanamo gives you a small nod of acknowledgment with what appears to be a fond look.

“Maybe as a thank you for not choosing to major in something like premed”

You let out a laugh as you arrive to the floor of your studio, although your laugh fades as your eyes connect to the prettiest shade of blue you’d ever seen at the end of the hall. 

TAG LIST: @aishies-stuff @kouyoumarryme @mikyapixie @simbaaas-stuff @ichikanu

[sugar-grigri]

Hello! With the discussion of Yoshida with your recent analysis, what's your perspective on Yoshida offering Denji the choice before: of being chainsaw man or having his family and how much of that was Yoshida enforcing his own ideas of what's good for denji vs his efforts to help denji in the limited scope of his position? I feel like this could have been talked about before on the blog but with added context from csm 156 interested in how this develops too

Denji is Yoshida's reflection that he refuses to see

The answer might be easy if I aligned myself with my own position, the one I established in my analysis 156, which attempts to theorize that Yoshida is on Denji's side

But you know I know I haven't convinced everyone with my blindness around Yoshida's hidden goodness. So I'm going to answer your question, but from the opposite position: let's explain Yoshida's reactions, whether as a non-ally of Denji or as an enemy. I know this may confuse you because you'd like me to analyze chapter 133 in relation to what I analyzed about chapter 156. But even if I assumed the opposite, I would have come to the same conclusion.

I love Yoshida, and even though I seem to have left him out of my analyses, I've always reflected on every one of his interventions. And something strikes me, Yoshida often seems to be talking to himself, even deluding himself almost as if to hold on.

In chapters 120/121, Yoshida invites Asa. Now fans (like me!!!) are fantasizing about rivals, a fake love triangle and a date. But in reality, it all falls depressingly flat.

But this chapter remains interesting for two reasons: two people share their experience of solitude as the only way to avoid disappointment and be happy. However, Asa projects herself into a possible love with Yoshida.

It's like reciting something to convince yourself but secretly wishing for the opposite…

But what's interesting is that we take the position of thinking that everything Yoshida said was linear.

Let's review. Yoshida knows that Asa was leering, that she looked depressed, and since he's watching Denji, he must have known about the date, hence the warning that comes later. So why get involved? As Asa's Nayuta-altered memory made him the executioner, why make her pain worse?

Because Yoshida must have had a childish reaction. It's as if, for once, he hadn't quite accepted his role as a spectator of events. I think Yoshida must have seen himself in Asa in some way. In chapter 121, Asa is all silence and Yoshida is for once almost in monologue. It was as if everything he said would convince him a little more out loud. Whether it was his theory of happiness up to........ "stay away from Denji". That point. Part of the points that concern him as much as they concern Asa.

I think and I'm convinced that even by not interpreting Yoshida as an ally, he became more sensitive and involved with Denji's plight and didn't always know how to place an emotional wall between them. Because Denji catches him off guard, makes Yoshida's smiling mask fall off. And this is something I've never verbalized before, but it's a pillar in my interpretation:

Being with Denji pushes you to be yourself.

Because Denji refuses the social game, doesn't tend to judge as teenagers of this age usually would, and has extremely sincere reactions that are so unpredictable that they don't allow for calculated responses, responses that form the shell of other characters like Asa and Yoshida.

What Asa liked about Denji, above all, was that he was able to give her confidence and make her proud when everyone else was putting her down. You don't like fish, so what? Eat starfish. Because yes, even if it was boring, I saw you, I listened to you and you made an impact on me. Because you're not insignificant.

Denji has that effect on Yoshida. Very symbolically, during their new interaction in part 2, the protagonist doesn't remember Yoshida. Of course, it's quite funny, because it can be interpreted in all sorts of ways, like the fact that Denji is so uninterested in guys that he forgets them so easily. But it's symbolic for Yoshida's character. He's so fake and so in control that Denji doesn't perceive anything in him.

And it's when he becomes more and more desperate as a result of these reactions, and when his mask gradually breaks, that Denji finally remembers his name. Because Yoshida acts less like a public hunter and more like himself, like Yoshida.

I think in chapter 133, it's really a way of trying to wake Denji up and help him. But then again, it helps to weaken Yoshida's mask. When Yoshida repeats that Denji has only two choices, that of his family or Chainsaw Man, Denji repeats that he has two. From Yoshida's point of view, this is fundamental.

The system offers only one choice, only one possible path. But Denji opposes both. In a chapter about protest, we also talk about his position towards the system. Oppose it, protest as if in the background, claim the symbol of Chainsaw Man or oppose it, see it as a societal evil, a danger of undermining the system. For I repeat, Yoshida has decided to believe in the system when Denji distrusts it.

So Yoshida gets angry, belittling Denji as if he can't see the absurdity of this dilemma imposed on a boy who has been given a choice. Who was only told there were only two choices when there were three. Rehearsing allows Yoshida to convince himself, but we see that this controlled mask has completely disappeared, giving way to anger and a kind of panic. Because Yoshida's ideals are unravelling.

Denji is a reflection.

Reflecting the cruelty of the mafia that Katana doesn't want to admit, the dream of going to school that Reze is trying to forget, allowing the trust that Asa thought impossible and the reflection of Yoshida: a teenager, who will trace a third path to the two that will be reserved for him.

If Chainsaw Man allows you to project what you want, have or be in him, hence the pandemic of CSM wannabe. Denji, hidden behind it, is doing something far more unbearable: showing us who we are.

Aki's vengeance gives way to a desire to be surrounded by loved ones, loved ones he may not be able to protect. Thinking only of oneself shows Power, through her sacrifice for Denji, that she is capable of love even if it goes against her survival.

So chapter 156 takes on a softer version. I repeat: why did you wake Denji up just to tell him he'd lost?

That Yoshida had warned him? Once again, through a strategy of self-conviction and self-protection, what Yoshida is doing is reminding us that complete alienation from the system is better than individual affirmation (which is what Denji is punished for, having repeated that he is Chainsaw Man). This identical public hunter's costume is the symbol of this submission. Yoshida is no longer even a fake high-school student. He's just a public hunter.

But I find this chapter takes on an air of funeral and goodbye. Yoshida's costume, taking on that of someone in mourning in a symbolic way.

Because saying goodbye to Denji.

It means saying goodbye to yourself.

So I ask you, Anon, and you, the reader, does Yoshida really want to continue refusing to see his reflection ?

[ninyard]

Okay, so in the scenario where Aaron gets found not guilty, I can absolutely see the trial records being sealed.

Probably to protect Luther's reputation, man of god etc, lots in the trial records that could look bad for him, even if it was statements given by unreliable unstable teenagers.

And at that point, what Aaron has to put in the bit of the med school application where it says, "Have you ever been charged with a crime (other than minor traffic violations)" is essentially, "I was arrested and charged with murder. I was found not guilty at trial."

"Found not guilty," legally speaking, is "didn't do it."

He will probably have to go somewhere across the country for medical school, since there's kind of a media circus because of the year the Foxes had. And he'll have to hope that the people reviewing his application aren't exy fans. They wouldn't be allowed to judge him outside of what he put on the form, but also, admissions people are humans.

Otherwise, the people reviewing his application only know what he's put on the form, and "I was found not guilty" is a complete answer. Admissions people legally aren't allowed to google your crimes.

He's probably best off becoming, like, an ER doctor or a hospitalist rather than a family doctor, though. Chances of patients googling your name at some point if you're a family doctor: high. Chances of patients googling your name at some point when they see you in the ER: pretty low actually.

that last point is definitely a good one. i mentioned once that he might change his surname because even if he became a doctor, there’d be a pretty high that someone somewhere is going to google his name. maybe not everyone, maybe not often, but imagine he's older and healing at its years and years down the line, and nobody has mentioned it to him in four or five years and he's treating a kid and their mom goes,

"Wait, Dr. Aaron Minyard? Did you play exy for PSU?"

and he smiles and slides back in his chair and he's like "Yeah, well, I only did that to get me through college, you know. I much prefer doing this now. I'm a healthy guy, not a sporty guy!" (cue hearty doctor chuckle)

He's reaching over to give a kid a sticker or something and the mom yanks her kid out of the way and he knows. He knows the mom knows, that she remembers, that she knows what that name means, what that name did. It'd break his heart everytime that it happens to him.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Why so much on right now?

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

NOV 2024 Week 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

Your Sky (Sun iQIYI) ep 1 of 12 - Classic old school Thai BL. Of course I love it. Naïve sunshine freshman vs strict older protective boy (who already likes him but refuses to show it). Is he grumpy or just gay and tired of all of these women? We don’t know. We don’t care. We just want to see them fake a relationship. And that’s what we’re getting. I love it. I also love the friendship group, and that the younger brother is in it and he has some of the same magic BL-hottie superpowers as his older brother. It’s great.

Love Sick 2024 (Sun iQIYI) ep 10 of 15 - Phun actually turns into dangerous babygirl when he is flirting, who knew? (Dangerous Babygirl is a new archetype I have just invented by the way. Yes, I am pleased with myself.) Noh, who is a nice boy, doesn’t stand a chance. Neither does Jeed, since this new babygirl superpower gives Phun a damn near perfect “back off bitch” face.

The arm drape public claiming, it gets me every time. Has done since SOTUS. Nong Mick is hero-level in this version, hands-down my favorite character this time around (and a non-entity last time). I love him so much I can’t stand it. I haven’t updated my 1:1 comparison yet this week, didn’t have time to rewatch 2014, but I will later tonight.  I'm chronicling my experience with 2024 as compared to 2014 here. 

Kidnap (Fri Gaga) ep 12 end - What an absolutely excellent final episode. Smiley kisses! 

Conclusion 

A cute if patently absurd little show about a stuntman who is somehow convinced to kidnap a rich kid except they fall in love. It takes itself a little more seriously than it deserves for such a silly plot and some crappy stunts and contradictory content, but it was a pleasantly romantic experience all around, and I enjoyed myself. Extra credit for Q in that perfect blue color throughout. No complaints, a solid BL. 8/10 

The Heart Killers (Weds Gaga) ep 1 of 12 - Jojo directs FirstKhao & JoongDunk in an action romcom about assassin brothers (Khao & Joong) who meet a tattoo artist (First) and a cocky mechanic (Dunk). I'm highly amused that Joong plays the older brother to Khao and that we have a take on the Taming of the ShrewBL. This has all GMMTV's best chemistry in one BL and some fresh concepts that I've only seen tackled in m/m romance novels (check out Amy Lane's Racing for the Sun, thank me later). My only quibble is Jojo, I like his style but his characters can get unreliably messy so…... this gonna be interesting.

Buckle up buttercups I got thoughts:

Frankly, I haven’t decided if this is good or so bad and so camp that it’s good? The latter I suspect. Either way, I’m enjoying it very much, but I had very little doubt that I would. This falls into so many of my wheelhouses. Not just the premise but the casting and the approach and the script. They pretty much knocked it out of the park with the first episode: one night stand + safe sex + linguistic negotiation = I’m in! During the opening sequence I spent the entire time worried about how many fingerprints Bison was leaving everywhere. And then I realized this show is going to require DEMAND we turn our brains entirely off.

We are in KinnPorshce / The Sign territory people. Take emergency precautions! Do not engage brain meats!

Kiss Me Kate only gay and hitmen? Frankly, it sells itself. The music is extremely stupid though. (Brain, stop it!) I gotta say that FirstKhao are good because…… FirstKhao. But JoongDunk are absolutely perfectly cast. Like: couldn’t be a better pair in these roles. Dunk, in particular, is slaying. I did not have Dunk as Petruchio down on my “best casting choice of all time” BL bingo card, but apparently there he is. Awesome. 

Fourever You (Thurs YT) ep 8 of 16 - I’m warming up to the second couple a little bit. I actually don’t mind a bully romance the way some do. But this isn’t quite hitting the notes that I want from one. Still, I found this week more engaging than last week. 

Secret Love (? YT?) 1-12 of 81 eps - They dropped 12 eps at once randomly on YT totaling about 20 min. So of course, I watched it. Because I have no self-control and STEPBROTHERS! Adopted into a rich family, boy falls in love with heir. But when he is made the heir instead, everything goes wrong. Now enemies the two boys reunite and sparks! I hate this format but dammit I love this utter dross. It’s very early Chinese BL feeling but from Thailand. I don’t care. It’s so stupidly great. This is my kind of BL.

Caged Again (Fri Gaga) ep 3 of 10 - There is something sweetly innocent and earnest about this show. It reminds me of Takara and Amagi or even Light On Me but less stiff - this one is quintessentially quirky and casually Thai about it. It’s interesting that this has an 18+ rating, which means it’s either gonna go very violent or sexy or both. Right now I can’t imagine that, it doesn’t suit. But I’m looking forward to seeing where this goes. Junior with his Mean Girl crop top moment is the goddess of the week though. Fierce queen penguin.

Perfect 10 Liners (Sun YT?) ep 4 of 24 - I love the side couple so damn much. How are they so adorable? Still not wild about the mains, and not likely to get there anytime soon. That said, I did like seeing the “sleeping in your boyfriend‘s class while he gives you his jacket” trope drop. We haven’t had that one for a really long time. My Engineer maybe?

Every You Every Me (Mon Gaga) ep 7 of 8 - I did find this installment kind of boring. I just don’t like actors as main characters. Much as I’m enjoying this show and I think the actors are doing a good job, I really do wish it was more like what we had been sold on: Connected reborn characters fated to be together over and over again. Not this weird little mishmash of whatever. I’m now annoyed by a format I was initially charmed by. 

Jack & Joker (Mon IQIYI) ep 10-11 of 12 - still on hold until it ends or I can cope with the pain.  I just can’t go into darkness right now.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Our Youth AKA Miseinen: Mijukuna Oretachi wa Bukiyo ni Shinkochu (Japan Tues Gaga) ep 3 of 11 - SNIFF TEST! But done by Japan so it’s that much better and more kinky. The way H looks at M pretty much defines naked lust. “I got extra beat up so you’d take pity on me and then I admitted it to you” is so damn warped I can’t even with this boy. This feral kid is gonna drive me feral. The power and the control and the execution of this show is just spectacular. I keep thinking about it after its done and telling people IRL about it. (I rarely talk BL IRL.) It’s classy. I do love it when Japan does classy BL for us. 

See Your Love (Taiwan Weds Gaga) ep 6 of 13 - so completely and utterly adorable. The learning sign language thing! I loved it so much.

Love is Like a Poison AKA Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Japan Tues Netflix?) 10 of 12 eps - Possibly one of the best confessions of the year I have to say. Also a wonderful character growth arc for our lawyer. Exactly as one might hope. The plot twist was slightly predictable but still adds a delicious note of tension to our final episodes.

Blue Canvas of Youthful Days (China Sun iQIYI) eps 7-8 of 12 - You don’t want me but you won’t let anybody else have me either. The song of the repressed seme. I did like the irrational jealousy moment and a few other bits, of course the crying kiss. You know I love a crying kiss. Even if it’s a somewhat censored one. But this is also leaning a little bit darker than I want at the moment. This being China, I anticipate the darkness and doom getting worse not better.

Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 9 of ? - The incredible migrating lip injury continues. Could we please get on with the BL aspect of this show? I’m getting frustrated as well as slightly bored at this juncture. Pacing darlings. Pacing.

Love in the Air: Koi no Yokan (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 4 of 10 - Still not sure. I think I like this better than the original, but I’m confused. I did make disgusted scoff noises and say “oh dear” a couple of times. Which makes me sound like a World War II grandpa (only the housemate's cat noticed), but is also classic me when profoundly disappointed by a piece of media. That’s said, the sex scene was pretty good. In the end, I wasn’t as frustrated by this version of these characters, but they didn’t have as many highs or lows as the original. So first half probably works out about the same in my all-purpose rating system. The true proof in the pudding is going to be couple number 2 tho......

It's airing but......

Winter Is Not The Death of Summer (Weds YT) ?? eps - Criminals who meet in prison fall in love. I did find it on YouTube, but I did not find any English subs for it. The first episode seems to be only six minutes long. It is very pulp. But it is intriguing. So I hope it gets some sort of international or something at some point. for now I’ll put it to the wayside.

Bad Guy My Boss (Thai Sun Gaga) 10 eps - I DNF'd at ep 7, I couldn't make it. I am weak. Life is hard enough right now, this show is making it harder. It’s not what I want from my entertainment.

Bad to Bed (Taiwan Sat YT) 10 eps - This is a little too low production value even for me + just very very odd. DNF

In Case You Missed it

Love for Loves Sake got some kind of special on 11/9. Not sure what, why, or where. Only the rumor that it...... is. I'll believe it when I see it...... literally. Let me know if you found it.

The Bangkok Podcast covered Marriage Equality in Thailand: More Complex Than it Seems. They missed some of the point and all of the queer perspective. But it's a local lawyer talking about it and how it was implemented, which is quite interesting.

Dominant Yakuza and Wimpy Corporate Slave AKA Ore-sama Yakuza to Hetare Shachiku: Kuni wo Koeta Jingi Naki Dekiai, Japan YT. A 30 min slice of ridiculousness. This mini walked out the back of one of my 1999 yaoi (you know those little shorts they always had along with the main story?) and randomly got cut together by some helpful malcontent, tumbled into my YT feed like a Taiwanese prat fall, and I couldn't be happier.

This is the Cliff's notes of a story that could have been amazing, but I adored it anyway. Basically what it says on the tin: office cutie from Taiwan working in Japan runs across hot AF mafia hit man beating up lesser thugs. Falls instantly in love, turns out so does the yakuza. They end up together for...... reasons? (one is cute and the other is cool?) That's it. It's dumb and I loved it. 7/10 because it really isn't good, but it lives on in a very warped corner of my shriveled old heart.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Still to come:

11/28 Spare Me Your Mercy (Thai Thurs iQIYI) 8 eps on OneD (no word on inter) - Increased rates of deaths in terminal patients has a police captain investigating the palliative care doctor with whom he's fallen in love. Their relationship deepens but the mystery persists, driven by mistrust. Adapted from the novel "Euthanasia" by Sammon (Triage, Manner of Death) stars some old guard BL actors: Tor Thanapob from Hormones as the doctor and (fuck me YES) Jaylerr from Great Men Academy and goddamn Grean Fictions as the captain!

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

We stan a smitten seme who's too reserved for his own good. Sunshine is gonna have this boy wrapped around his little finger in no time. (Well in 12 eps, but we know what we like!) Your Sky

King behavior.

Dangerous Babygirl behavior.

Both Love Sick 2024.

(last week)

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

[dayhair]

dr rants!

the squirrelly, inane edition that leaves you wondering why your eyes loom over certain semicolons and en-dashes [ how self-deprecating, i know 🎀 ]

also .. my first post, a liberating departure from the chains of shifttok

marauders; tell me why sirius black, heir apparent to the noble house of inbreeding, behaves like a broken analog clock — drinking at the sixth hour, and a mental breakdown with the occasional tactless jab when his little hand strikes nine ( i'll admit the metaphor is bizarre because i can't even tell the hour hand from the minute, anywho .. )

sirius black? oh, he invented sarcasm. and ebony locks of hair, chainsmoking ( whilst listening to lana del rey, crying in the shower ), sporadicity & a taste for gryffindor's finest, a bowie-loving werewolf

with him, it's always, "lonnie, i swear to god if you don't leave regulus alone," or, "let's deflower a firewhiskey after divination," no in-between

the insipid crash-outs & tantrums of an old-money dauphin must sound riveting, but a half-blood beauxbatons transfer can only behave so .. cordially; after all, my family's motto does translate to something like, "strike the iron while it's hot," and i'm not sure pulling sirius black's hair back as he [ i don't want to gross you out ] is what my ancestors had in mind whilst stitching gilded threads on our coat-of-arms

so .. do i ghost the anti-hero? i'm sure we'd have way more fun anyway if he was sorted into slytherin, or if i wasn't in his brother's year

gossip girl; serena van der woodsen, silver spring of her family, once said to me, "it's not my world, i just live in it." i'm pretty sure she was drunk, because she's no sylvia plath, no matter how hard she pretends. naïve me, in the dregs of upper east side bacchanals, more or less, teenage debauchery, and affairs on both sides of the tennis court — i'd no idea the roman holidays she was referring to, for death had always taken vacation on mine

picture this: a soirée, a suicide, a suit of cards ( hearts for the ones broken, clubs for the ultraviolence, diamonds for the [ well, we're bourgeoisie, there isn't much else to say ], and spades for my blackened luck )

i won't name-drop, but this ballot triggers easily to the unyielding imagination. let's just say an un-judging breakfast club was left fractured, and now i know to mark my julian calendar for the next time death and his blooded scythe strike

90s fame; how does one recover from the faux-pas, glossy tabloids of la la land? mixed reviews from critics and i questioned my steed in the oscar race, no golden globe nomination ( must they ignore me, so? and i know i could just script it in, but what's the fun in that?? ) and i'd already booked an month-off to st. tropez

a few things that i remember from this era

candid shots of me & heath ledger, drunk & the snl parody skit that followed

rumors of false behind-the-scenes drama, which then spurred into actuality 🤦‍♂️

appearing in britney spear's '.. baby one more time' mtv mv ( i was so nervous dbsndjwa )

i was on nirvana's 4th album cover ( scripted out kurt's death )

".. a pretentious performance that crashes into itself and shatters the film's narrative into something maladroit and unworthy of watching" ( some stupid critic about my acting; they don't know true talent or art. like at all. the movie's already a cult classic here so whatever ig )

oh, tinseltown. you pretend to be as glamorous as the age of beatniks & true cinema, but hollywood really is dead ..!

you've reached the post-script; i'd love to go on-&-on, but sleepiness strikes 💤

a reblog wouldn't hurt, eh? ( please )

ok. i'm done

ta-ta, happy shifting !!

[momo-ceros]

the convenience store at the corner || ken ryuguji/reader

summary; there is a small konbini on the way to musashi shrine that belongs to your grandmother. forced to help out, at least there are cute boys to look at. one in particular

tags; sfw, reader is a year older than draken, draken is a simp, teenage boys being teenage boys

author’s note; momo writing something in the holy year of 2023? impossible. i wanna start writing more i think so feel free to send in requests.

You were working at a small shop owned by your grandmother after school, which just so happened to lay on the path between his and Mikey‘s school and Musashi Shrine. Despite their rowdy reputation, you always greeted them with a kind smile but also did not shy away from using a sterner tone, particularly when Mikey made grabby hands at the Takoyaki behind the counter.

His crush on you made him feel ridiculous. He was the fearsome vice president of the Tokyo Manji Gang yet uttering more than a ‚hello‘ and ‚thank you‘ towards you seemed like an impossible task. He rather take on entire gangs all himself before you knew.

How unfortunate that you did. Whatever made teenage boys think they were slick about their crushes, you didn‘t know but you wish you had that kind of self confidence in other matters. You weren‘t blind, of course you saw the way the tip of his ears flushed in a deep red when he came to the counter. Honestly, it was kind of endearing.

You didn‘t know a whole lot about him, not more than what was told on the streets. You were a year older than him, he was some high ranking member in the teenage toddler group that were delinquent gangs and certainly seemed to be the most mature. Certainly more than his little friend who seemed to love drawing dick on the review notepad meant for customers. You were certain that Draken was 99% of his impulse control.

‚Draken‘ you had heard his friends call him on numerous occasions. That and ‚Ken-chin‘, but he did not seem to appreciate that nickname too much, judging my his reaction.

‘He was sorta cute’, you concluded as you sat behind the counter, your eyes following him, as him and his friends made their way through the store, laughing and joking around.

“They are still 150¥”, you chastised in a monotone voice, looking up from your magazine as Mikey flinched and moved his hand back from the pastries in front of the store.

“But we are regulars!”, he complained loudly pouting.

“No. He is a regular”, you said, pointing at Draken, who immediately flushed faintly, trying to keep his posture, “he is a regular. You have never payed for a single thing in your life here.”

Mikey grumbled, unable to deny the fact that Draken brought everything here anyway while he just picked what he wanted to have.

“Fine. Since I am unwanted here I am going to leave”, he said, leaving Draken alone to pay for their snacks with you.

“Sorry about him”, Draken apologised, rubbing his neck nervously as he placed the items on the counter.

You started to scan the items, taking your sweet time.

“Its fine. I’ve gotten used to it. Must be annoying for you to always be on baby sitting duty.”

“He can be annoying. Real annoying. But imma still follow him”, Draken said earnestly.

“How unfortunate”, you hummed, a glint of humour in eyes as you grabbed a milk bun.

“I didn’t-“

“Free of charge. For being a loyal costumer”, you said, winking at him.

Draken gulped and dropped the sweaty yen coins onto the table.

“Thank you. I am sure he will appreciate it.”

You mulled over the thought that just came for you before shrugging. Might as well go for it.

“One more thing”, you said as you rang up his change and scribbled something on a piece of paper before handing both to him.

Draken stared in confusion at the string of random numbers.

“Uh… thanks?”

You leaned forward, resting your head on your hands.

“Thats my number, dragon boy. Free of charge. Give me a ring sometime”, you teased with a wink.

A deep, scarlet blush spread across his cheeks as Draken stuttered out a thank you before speedwalking out of the store, pushing instead of pulling the door, quickly rejoining his friends. How fun.

You watched him stumble, rejoining the group of his friends who, upon hearing the recent development, cheered for him. Boys. It was kind of adorable actually.

You stretched, staring at the clock. 2 more hours. Maybe you would close your shift and the shop to a message.

[reallypleasanttree]

A continuation for the Obamitsu soulmate drabble

According to scholars, a person experiences the physical and emotional pain of their soulmate.  If they received an injury, you would feel the same. A sprained ankle, scraped knee, bruised shins, or paper cuts. It was an empathic link between two people. 

On Mitsuri’s tenth birthday, she woke up screaming. The sound woke her parents and they tried to calm her down. Her cheeks felt as if they had been torn open. She tried to talk, but due to the injury she couldn’t for a few hours. She pointed to her cheeks and made a pained expression to indicate it was part of the soulmate connection. Her stomach rolled and she failed to eat the entire day. Underneath the pain, she felt terror. Her whole body trembled that night. Someone was watching her soulmate with ill intent. 

What happened to her soulmate? 

For the next week, Mitsuri failed to eat regularly. Periodically, she would taste blood and push her plate away during dinner. Her parents made an appointment with the physician when she refused to eat her favorite food. They put her on suppressants to dull the connection between her and her soulmate for the next week. The pain didn’t stop though. She couldn’t function with the constant worry and foreboding. Mitsuri continued taking the medication for years afterward. 

Whenever she attempted to go off the suppressants, the empathic link returned stronger and with it the dread and self loathing. She theorized her soulmate engaged in cutting as she could feel the slices on her arms and legs while off the meds. Mitsuri wished she was a stronger person, but she could not manage her emotions on top of her soulmate’s as a teenager. Her insecurities increased ten times during high school. She felt guilty about taking the suppressants. She would not have been able to function with her mental health issues on top of their self hatred, shame, and low self worth. 

Now she was in her college’s library studying for her first midterm. Mitsuri decided to major in psychology. The midterm was for her experimental psychology class. Right now she was reviewing statistical terms. She let out a huff, flipped over the note card, and cut the space between her thumb and forefinger. She hissed. 

Several people turned to look at her. Two guys at the table next to her, a girl sitting across from her, and a mask wearing boy a few tables away. She’s 90 percent sure he was in her psychology class. Mitsuri smiled nervously. 

“Sorry, paper cut,” she said and looked down at the cut. It was bleeding more than it should. She set her note cards down and grabbed a tissue to prevent blood from dripping onto the table or her study materials. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a band aid appear on the desk. She glanced up. The masked boy stood in front of her table. 

“Here,” he said. 

“Oh, thank you,” Mitsuri said and took the band aid. She paused when she noticed his eyes. They were two different colors. Blue and gold. “Your eyes are really cool,” Mitsuri blurted out. Her cheeks heated. 

“They’re weird,” he said as he looked away. He pinched the space between his thumb and forefinger. 

“No, they’re really cool, but I can’t be the best judge on what’s weird or not,” Mitsuri chuckled and pointed at her pink and green braids. The boy nodded and started backing up to return to his desk. 

“I think we’re in the same class. Mr. Ubuyashiki’s experimental psych at 1:30?” Mitsuri asked. 

“Yeah, I’m in the class,” he answered. 

“Do you want to study with me? I made note cards for the stats section. It’ll be fun,” she said. 

“If you want. It’s been hard to focus, so you can keep me accountable,” he said. 

“Yay!” Mitsuri clapped her hands together before inhaling sharply as she remembered her paper cut. The corners of his eyes crinkled at her mistake before he went back to grab his backpack and laptop. He sat down across from her. 

“I’m Obanai by the way,” he introduced himself. 

“I’m Mitsuri,” she said as she opened the bandaid wrapper. Mitsuri tried to use her left hand to place the bandaid over her right hand with little success. The bandage fell on the floor. 

“Do you want help?” Obanai asked as if he had not been watching her struggle for the last minute. He unzipped the top pocket and pulled out a new band aid. Not waiting for her response, he reached for her right hand. When they touched, goosebumps appeared on her forearm. Her heart quickened as he held her hand still and put the bandaid over the webspace. 

“Thanks again,” Mitsuri said as she grabbed her note cards to start quizzing her classmate. 

“No problem,” Obanai said. 

------

“Have you met your soulmate?” Obanai asked out of the blue one afternoon in the library. They sat in a corner with sunlight filtering through the blinds. He was sitting in the chair caddy corner to hers. Mitsuri lifted her head to meet her companion’s gaze. 

“No-Well, it’s sort of hard to know,” Mitsuri bit her lip. She’d been taking the Apath suppressant since she was ten. He tapped the armrest as he waited for her to explain further. There were groups of people who shamed others for taking soulmate suppressants. They often cited the loss of the bond, disrespect for your soulmate, and countless other reasons. Obanai never mentioned his soulmate or his thoughts on them. 

“I take Apath,” she admitted in a whisper and glanced around them. The nearest person was on the other end of the library. She pursed her lips and studied his face, which remained neutral as he dipped his head in acknowledgement. 

“When I was younger, I woke up screaming. Something horrible happened to my soulmate and I couldn’t handle the pain. It kept me from eating. Any time I tried to eat it felt like I was ripping open my mouth and tasted blood. My parents worried and decided to put me on suppressants temporarily,” she explained. His eyebrows raised when she mentioned tasting blood. 

“After a week, I stopped taking them, but the pain didn’t stop. It came back worse, so I kept taking them. Every once in a while I try to get off them, but my soulmate-” Mitsuri paused and looked down at the space between her feet. “I think they hate themself. Actually, I know they do. It hurts knowing I can’t do anything to help them.” The corner of her mouth turned down. It was shameful to admit she wasn’t strong enough to cope with her soulmate’s emotions on top of her own. Hopefully, Obanai wouldn’t think less of her.  

“I know it doesn’t look like it, but I have my own issues,” she continued. “It gets complicated when my soulmate’s issues influence my own and I’m sure it’s the same for them. It’s better this way, at least for now.” Why was she even sharing this? He only asked if she met her soulmate. “Umm, so yeah, I don’t know if I have or have not met them to answer your question,” Mitsuri finished. Obanai’s face didn’t offer any insight into his mind. 

“I see,” he said. “Do you think they still feel your pain? Or is that also suppressed?” He asked as he rubbed the inside of his wrist. 

“I’m not sure. It’s different for every soulmate bond, according to the research. Some people feel pain and others don’t. There’s no rhyme or reason so far,” Mitsuri said. “Have you met your soulmate?”

“Not yet,” Obanai answered quickly. “I know they’re clumsy. They have a tendency to stub their toe and trip. It’s weird to feel a skinned knee without having one. It made wearing skinny jeans impossible,” he joked and his eyes crinkled. Mitsuri laughed louder than anticipated, which earned her a glare from the person studying on the other side of the building. Obanai and her shared a conspiratorial look before they returned to their respective notes. 

[mariacallous]

For the first time, internal TikTok communications have been made public that show a company unconcerned with the harms the app poses for American teenagers. This is despite its own research validating many child safety concerns.

The confidential material was part of a more than two-year investigation into TikTok by 14 attorneys general that led to state officials suing the company on Tuesday. The lawsuit alleges that TikTok was designed with the express intention of addicting young people to the app. The states argue the multi-billion-dollar company deceived the public about the risks.

In each of the separate lawsuits state regulators filed, dozens of internal communications, documents and research data were redacted — blacked-out from public view — since authorities entered into confidentiality agreements with TikTok.

But in one of the lawsuits, filed by the Kentucky Attorney General’s Office, the redactions were faulty. This was revealed when Kentucky Public Radio copied-and-pasted excerpts of the redacted material, bringing to light some 30 pages of documents that had been kept secret.

After Kentucky Public Radio published excerpts of the redacted material, a state judge sealed the entire complaint following a request from the attorney general’s office “to ensure that any settlement documents and related information, confidential commercial and trade secret information, and other protected information was not improperly disseminated,” according to an emergency motion to seal the complaint filed on Wednesday by Kentucky officials.

NPR reviewed all the portions of the suit that were redacted, which highlight TikTok executives speaking candidly about a host of dangers for children on the wildly popular video app. The material, mostly summaries of internal studies and communications, show some remedial measures — like time-management tools — would have a negligible reduction in screen time. The company went ahead and decided to release and tout the features.

Separately, under a new law, TikTok has until January to divest from its Chinese parent company, ByteDance, or face a nationwide ban. TikTok is fighting the looming crackdown. Meanwhile, the new lawsuits from state authorities have cast scrutiny on the app and its ability to counter content that harms minors. 

In a statement, TikTok spokesman Alex Haurek defended the company’s child safety record and condemned the disclosure of once-public material that has now been sealed.

"It is highly irresponsible of NPR to publish information that is under a court seal,” Haurek said. “Unfortunately, this complaint cherry-picks misleading quotes and takes outdated documents out of context to misrepresent our commitment to community safety.”

He continued: “We have robust safeguards, which include proactively removing suspected underage users, and we have voluntarily launched safety features such as default screentime limits, family pairing, and privacy by default for minors under 16.”

Kentucky AG: TikTok users can become ‘addicted’ in 35 minutes

As TikTok’s 170 million U.S. users can attest, the platform’s hyper-personalized algorithm can be so engaging it becomes difficult to close the app. TikTok determined the precise amount of viewing it takes for someone to form a habit: 260 videos. After that, according to state investigators, a user “is likely to become addicted to the platform.”

In the previously redacted portion of the suit, Kentucky authorities say: “While this may seem substantial, TikTok videos can be as short as 8 seconds and are played for viewers in rapid-fire succession, automatically,” the investigators wrote. “Thus, in under 35 minutes, an average user is likely to become addicted to the platform.”

Another internal document found that the company was aware its many features designed to keep young people on the app led to a constant and irresistible urge to keep opening the app.

TikTok’s own research states that “compulsive usage correlates with a slew of negative mental health effects like loss of analytical skills, memory formation, contextual thinking, conversational depth, empathy, and increased anxiety,” according to the suit.

In addition, the documents show that TikTok was aware that “compulsive usage also interferes with essential personal responsibilities like sufficient sleep, work/school responsibilities, and connecting with loved ones.”

TikTok: Time-limit tool aimed at ‘improving public trust,’ not limiting app use

The unredacted documents show that TikTok employees were aware that too much time spent by teens on social media can be harmful to their mental health. The consensus among academics is that they recommend one hour or less of social media usage per day.

The app lets parents place time limits on their kids’ usage that range from 40 minutes to two hours per day. TikTok created a tool that set the default time prompt at 60 minutes per day.

Internal documents show that TikTok measured the success of this tool by how it was “improving public trust in the TikTok platform via media coverage,” rather than how it reduced the time teens spent on the app.

After tests, TikTok found the tool had little impact – accounting for about a 1.5-minute drop in usage, with teens spending around 108.5 minutes per day beforehand to roughly 107 minutes with the tool. According to the attorney general’s complaint, TikTok did not revisit this issue.

One document shows one TikTok project manager saying, “Our goal is not to reduce the time spent.” In a chat message echoing that sentiment, another employee said the goal is to “contribute to DAU [daily active users] and retention” of users.

TikTok has publicized its “break” videos, which are prompts to get users to stop endlessly scrolling and take a break. Internally, however, it appears the company didn’t think the videos amounted to much. One executive said that they are “useful in a good talking point” with policymakers, but “they’re not altogether effective.”

Document: TikTok demoted people it deemed unattractive on its feed

The multi-state litigation against TikTok highlighted the company’s beauty filters, which users can overlay on videos to make themselves look thinner and younger or to have fuller lips and bigger eyes.

One popular feature, known as the Bold Glamour filter, uses artificial intelligence to rework people’s faces to resemble models with high cheekbones and strong jawlines.

TikTok is aware of the harm these beauty filters can cause young users, the documents show.

Employees suggested internally the company “provide users with educational resources about image disorders” and create a campaign “to raise awareness on issues with low self esteem (caused by the excessive filter use and other issues).”

They also suggested adding a banner or video to the filters that included “an awareness statement about filters and the importance of positive body image/mental health.”

This comes as the documents showcase another hidden facet of TikTok’s algorithm: the app prioritizes beautiful people.

One internal report that analyzed TikTok’s main video feed saw “a high volume of … not attractive subjects” were filling everyone’s app. In response, Kentucky investigators found that TikTok retooled its algorithm to amplify users the company viewed as beautiful.

“By changing the TikTok algorithm to show fewer ‘not attractive subjects’ in the For You feed, [TikTok] took active steps to promote a narrow beauty norm even though it could negatively impact their Young Users,” the Kentucky authorities wrote.

TikTok exec: algorithm could deprive kids of opportunities like ‘looking at someone in the eyes’

Publicly, TikTok has stated that one of its “most important commitments is supporting the safety and well-being of teens.”

Yet internal documents paint a very different picture, citing statements from top company executives who appear well-aware of the harmful effects of the app without taking significant steps to address it.

One unnamed TikTok executive put it in stark terms, saying the reason kids watch TikTok is because of the power of the app’s algorithm, “but I think we need to be cognizant of what it might mean for other opportunities,” said the company executive. “And when I say other opportunities, I literally mean sleep, and eating, and moving around the room, and looking at someone in the eyes.”

TikTok’s internal estimate: 95% of smartphone users under 17 use TikTok

TikTok views itself as being in an “arms race for attention,” according to a 2021 internal presentation.

And teenagers have been key to the app’s early growth in the U.S., but another presentation shown to top company officials revealed that an estimated 95% of smartphone users under 17 use TikTok at least once a month. This lead a company staffer to state that it had “hit a ceiling among young users.”

TikTok’s own research concluded that kids were the most susceptible to being sucked into the app’s infinitely flowing feed of videos. “As expected, across most engagement metrics, the younger the user, the better the performance,” according to a 2019 TikTok document.

In response to growing national concern that excessive social media use can increase the risk of depression, anxiety and body-image issues among kids, TikTok has introduced time-management tools. These include notifications informing teens about how long they are spending on the app, parental oversight features and the ability to make the app inaccessible for some down time.

At the same time, however, TikTok knew how unlikely it was these tools would be effective, according to materials obtained by Kentucky investigators.

“Minors do not have executive function to control their screen time, while young adults do,” read a TikTok internal document.

TikTok pushes users into filter bubbles like ‘painhub’ and ‘sadnotes’

TikTok is well aware of “filter bubbles.” Internal documents show the company has defined them as when a user “encounters only information and opinions that conform to and reinforce their own beliefs, caused by algorithms that personalize an individual’s online experience.”

The company knows the dangers of filter bubbles. During one internal safety presentation in 2020, employees warned the app “can serve potentially harmful content expeditiously.” TikTok conducted internal experiments with test accounts to see how quickly they descend into negative filter bubbles.

“After following several ‘painhub’ and ‘sadnotes’ accounts, it took me 20 mins to drop into ‘negative’ filter bubble,” one employee wrote. “The intensive density of negative content makes me lower down mood and increase my sadness feelings though I am in a high spirit in my recent life.”

Another employee said, “there are a lot of videos mentioning suicide,” including one asking, “If you could kill yourself without hurting anybody would you?”

In another document, TikTok’s research found that content promoting eating disorders, often called “thinspiration,” is associated with issues such as body dissatisfaction, disordered eating, low self-esteem and depression

Despite these heedings, TikTok’s algorithm still puts users into filter bubbles. One internal document states that users are “placed into ‘filter bubbles’ after 30 minutes of use in one sitting.” The company wrote that having more human moderators to label content is possible, but “requires large human efforts.”

TikTok’s content moderation missing self-harm, eating disorder content

TikTok has several layers of content moderation to weed out videos that violate its Community Guidelines. Internal documents show that the first set of eyes aren’t always a person from the company’s Trust and Safety Team.

The first round typically uses artificial intelligence to flag pornographic, violent or political content. The following rounds use human moderators, but only if the video has a certain amount of views, according to the documents. These additional rounds often fail to take into account certain types of content or age specific rules.

According to TikTok’s own studies, the unredacted filing shows that some suicide and self-harm content escaped those first rounds of human moderation. The study points to self-harm videos that had more than 75,000 views before TikTok identified and removed them.

TikTok also has scattershot policies on content that includes disordered eating, drug use, dangerous driving, gore and violence. While TikTok’s Community Guidelines prohibit much of this content, internal policy documents say the company “allows” the content. Often, the content is findable on TikTok and just not “recommended,” meaning it doesn’t show up in users’ For You feeds or took a lower priority in the algorithm.

The company has talking points around its content moderation work. One example highlighted in the documents details a child sent to the emergency room after attempting a dangerous TikTok challenge. When dealing with the negative fallout from the press, TikTok told employees to use an internal list of talking points that said, “In line with our Community Guidelines, we do not allow content that depicts, promotes, normalizes, or glorifies [dangerous] behavior, including dangerous challenges.”

TikTok acknowledges internally that it has substantial “leakage” rates of violating content that’s not removed. Those leakage rates include: 35.71% of “Normalization of Pedophilia;” 33.33% of “Minor Sexual Solicitation;” 39.13% of “Minor Physical Abuse;” 30.36% of “leading minors off platform;” 50% of “Glorification of Minor Sexual Assault;” and “100% of “Fetishizing Minors.”

TikTok slow to remove users under 13, despite company policy

Kids under 13 cannot open a standard TikTok account, but there is a “TikTok for Younger Users” service that the company says includes strict content guardrails.

It is a vulnerable group of users, since federal law dictates that social media sites like TikTok cannot collect data on children under 13 unless parents are notified about the personal information collected. And even then, social media apps must first obtain verifiable consent from a parent.

In August, the Department of Justice sued TikTok for violating the federal law protecting the data of kids under 13, alleging that the app “knowingly and repeatedly violated kids’ privacy.”

In the internal documents, however, company officials instructed TikTok moderators to use caution before removing accounts of users suspected to be under 13.

An internal document about “younger users/U13” says TikTok instructs its moderators to not take action on reports of underage users unless their account identifies them as under 13.

The previously-redacted portions of the suit suggest the company is aware these young users have accounts – through complaints from parents and teachers — but does little to remove them.

TikTok in crisis mode after report on TikTok Live being ‘strip club filled with 15-year-olds’

After a 2022 report on Forbes about underage kids stripping on TikTok’s live feature, the company launched its own investigation.

That’s when TikTok officials realized there was “a high” number of underage streamers receiving digital currency on the app in the form of a “gift” or “coin” in exchange for stripping — real money converted into a digital currency often in the form of a plush toy or a flower.

TikTok discovered “a significant” number of adults direct messaging underage TikTokkers about stripping live on the platform.

As part of this internal probe, TikTok officials found that in just one month, 1 million “gifts” were sent to kids engaged in “transactional” behavior.

In an understated assessment, one TikTok official concluded: “[O]ne of our key discoveries during this project that has turned into a major challenge with Live business is that the content that gets the highest engagement may not be the content we want on our platform.”

[batsplat]

new casey podcast have you seen it

https://m.youtube.com/watch?si=ye8wNfrvaPDjtpDV&v=IuwZN6aP8sg&feature=youtu.be

(link to the podcast) yeah I did, cheers!

there's not that much 'new information' per se within this podcast, though there's a bunch of nice tidbits about teenage casey. what stood out to me is how the framing of his journey to becoming a racer is... well, it's kinda new? it's not exactly surprising, because you could get a lot of this stuff from reading between the lines in his autobiography. the question of 'is this your dream or your parents' dream' is a very common one with athletes, and it's often a thin line... but, y'know, this podcast interview in particular is quite a noticeable shift in how casey himself talks about this issue. it's a shift in how he portrays his 'dream' of becoming a professional rider back when he was formulating his autobiography, versus how he's answering questions in this episode. his autobiography isn't free from criticism of his parents - but casey is always stressing his own desire to race. so you do get stuff like this (from the autobiography):

At this point things were getting serious. Dad used to say, 'If you want to become World Champion you can't be that much better than local competition,' holding his finger and thumb an inch apart. 'You have to be this much better,' he'd say, holding his arms wide open. Dad confirms this feeling still today: 'I know it's a harsh way to look at things but that's the difference between a champion and the rest. Just look at the careers of Dani Pedrosa and Jorge Lorenzo. Dani had Alberto Puig and Jorge had his old man, both of them hard as nails. If you want to make it to the top I think it takes somebody with an unforgiving view on life to help get you there. So I said those things to Casey, particularly when we went to the UK, because to keep moving up a level he couldn't just be happy with winning a race. If he wasn't winning by a margin that represented his maximum performance then he wasn't showing people how much better he was than the rest.' There's no denying that Dani, Jorge and I became successful with that kind of upbringing and sometimes you probably do need it. As far as I'm concerned Alberto was nowhere near as tough on Dani as my dad was on me or Jorge's dad was on him. That kind of intensity and expectation puts a lot of extra pressure on a father-son relationship that isn't always healthy. We definitely had our moments and there were a few major blow-ups to come. But at the time, rightly or wrongly, it was proving to be a good system for us and I was eager to continue impressing my dad and others with my performances on the track.

(quick reminder, jorge's review of his father's style of parenting was describing him as "a kind of hitler")

but in general the emphasis is very much on how much casey enjoyed racing, on how single-minded casey was when it came to racing. he might have been isolated by his racing (again this is from the autobiography, in the context of discussing being bullied by kids in school until he got 'protection' from his dirt track friends):

School life was a whole lot better after that but I still hated it. All my real friends were from dirt-track; they were the only people I had anything in common with.

and he's talked about how other parents misinterpreted his shyness as him not actually wanting to race, which meant they were judging casey's parents as a result (autobiography):

Mum tells me that the other parents thought she and Dad were awful because I cried as I lined up on the start line. She remembers: 'I was putting his gloves on his hands and pushing his helmet over his head. The thing was, I knew Casey wasn't crying because he didn't want to ride or because he was scared. He just didn't like the attention of being stared at by all these people!'

but like. overall racing for him was still something he portrayed as a very positive aspect of his childhood. something he always clung onto, something that was his choice to pursue

so... let's play compare and contrast with some specific passages of the autobiography and this podcast, you decide for yourself. take this from his autobiography:

After I started winning more times than not, and it was obvious my passion for bikes wasn't wavering, Mum and Dad decided that seeking out sponsors could be a great idea to help offset some of the costs of travelling to meets and keeping the bikes in good order.

and here, in a longer excerpt about what a sickly child casey was, what his mother said (autobiography):

'They tested him for cystic fibrosis and he was on all kinds of medication; you name it, he was on it. But Casey still raced, we couldn't stop him.' I know I was sick but Mum was right, I wasn't going to let that stop me.

versus this from the podcast, when he's responding to a completely open question about how he got into riding:

To be honest, I don't know if I was allowed to have any other attraction to be honest. I think it was, you know, you're going to be a bike rider from when I was a very very young age - and I'm not the only one to think that. I think my parents have stated that enough times to certain people and you know I was sort of pushed in that direction. My elder sister who's six and a half years older than me, she actually raced a little bit of dirt bikes and dirt track before I was born and when I was very young, so it was sort of a natural progression to go and do a little bit more of that and I think because at the time road racing was a lot more similar to dirt track. That was our sort of way in.

this was one of the very first questions in the interview, it basically just consisted of asking casey how he got into biking in the first place - whether it had come through his family or whatever. casey chose to take the response in that direction... it's not an answer that is just about his own internal passion, how he loved riding the second he touched a bike, how he loved it throughout his childhood etc etc (which is how it's framed in the autobiography) - but instead he says he wasn't allowed to do anything else. he says that he was pushed in that direction, that his parents have openly said as much to others. that he feels vindicated in the belief he was never given another choice

let's play another round. here from the autobiography:

Mum and Dad used to stand at the side for hours on end watching me practise at different tracks. They'd sometimes clock laps with a stopwatch as I went round and round. Other parents couldn't see the point in taking it so seriously but they didn't realise it was what I wanted. I was having fun. Working out how to go faster was how I got my kicks and I couldn't stop until I had taken a tenth or two of a second off my best time on any day. If another kid came out onto the track with me I would be all over them, practising passing them in different ways and in different corners, but most of the time they avoided riding with me and I would be out there on my own, racing the clock.

and this (autobiography):

I enjoyed racing so much that even when I was at home riding on my own I would set up different track configurations to challenge myself. I'd find myself a rock here, a tree there, a gatepost over there and maybe move a branch and that would be my track.

versus here, in the podcast:

Q: And did you realise at the time that you were - not groomed, is not the word but well you were being groomed to be a professional motorcycle racer, or obviously that was your only one reference point, that was the norm. Did that just feel the norm or did you think actually this feels a bit intense or how did you feel about it? A: I think it's hard, it's not until I sort of reached my mid teens where I started to have a bit of a reality check on what I was actually doing. Before then, you know I was competitive. I'm not as competitive as people think, I'm a lot more competitive internally rather than externally versus other people. I always challenge myself to things, so all those younger years was just getting the job done that I was expected to do. I enjoyed winning, I loved it, but you know I enjoyed perfect laps, perfect races, as close as I could get to that and you know from a young age I always sort of challenged myself constantly to be better. So I didn't just win races, I tried to win them - you know, if I won races by five seconds in a [...] race I'd try and win, you know I'd try and get to double that by the end of the day if I could. So you know that always kept me sharp and it stopped me from being sort of, you know, complacent in the position I was at. And it wasn't until sort of you know 16, 17, 18 that reality kicked in. I'd had a couple years road racing in the UK and Spain, been rather successful and then you get to world championships and you know maybe an engineer that was sort of - didn't have your best interests at hear. And, you know, I nearly finished my career right there after my first year of world championships just because of the reality of how hard it was in comparison to everything else I'd experienced up to that point. And, you know, it was a real reality check for me and I think it was then that I started to - you know consider everything around me and consider how and why I got to the position that I was in and that's when the mind started to change a little bit and realise that you know I really was being groomed my whole life just to sort of be here and be put on a track and try and win. And, you know, that was my seemingly most of my existence.

in all the excerpts, he stresses how much he enjoys his perfect laps, how much he enjoys riding, how there is genuine passion there, how dedicated he is to this pursuit... but then in the podcast, he's adding something else - how he'd been groomed his whole life into that role of 'professional bike racer'. that it was only in his late teens (when he was in 125cc/250cc) where he had this moment of 'man I never really had a choice in all this'

and another round. here's him talking in the autobiography about how all the money he got through racing went back into racing - but it was fine because it was the only thing he cared about anyway:

I don't remember seeing any of the money I earned because it all went back into my racing, although I guess at the time that's all I really cared about anyway. I didn't know anything else. Mum and Dad always said to me: 'If you put in the effort, we'll put in the effort.'

and here in the autobiography on how he just wanted to ride all day:

I couldn't ride my bike all day, though, as much as I would have liked to.

and him talking in the autobiography about his parents encouraging him and his sister to 'chase their dreams':

Mum and Dad encouraged both Kelly and me to follow our passions and work hard to chase our dreams. That might sound strange when you are talking about a seven-year-old but I don't think you are never too young to know that if you want something you have to earn it.

versus this in the podcast:

Q: And I've never asked you this before, but did you want to? A: Um... I think I'd been convinced of a dream I suppose. You know, yes I loved riding bikes and you know I really did enjoy racing... but there was lots of other things that I - I really enjoyed as well but just never had the opportunity or never was allowed to do anything else, so... You know, motorbikes for our budget everything fortunately dirt track was probably the cheapest way that you could go motorbike racing. You could survive on very very little in dirt track and show your potential in other ways. You know, yes, having good bikes and good tyres and all that sort of thing made a difference but it wasn't the be all end all, you could always make a difference in other ways, so... I think it was, you know - the best thing we could have done, racing through that. Like I said I enjoyed it, it wasn't until late teens, early 20s where I sort of was like, I don't know if I would have been a bike racer had I actually had a choice.

was riding really all he cared about? or were there other things he was interested in, things he just never had the opportunity to pursue? things he wasn't allowed to pursue? from the autobiography, you get the sense that his parents always deliberately portrayed it as casey's dream, something he was expected to work hard for in order to be allowed to fulfil. in the podcast, casey says it was a dream he was 'convinced' of. without wanting to speak too much on the specifics of this parenting relationship we only have limited knowledge of, this kinda does all sound like athlete parent 101: getting it into their kids' heads that this is the dream of the child, not the parent, before holding it over them when they fail to perform when their parents have invested so so much in their child's success. casey's family was financially completely dependent on his racing results when they moved to the uk - he was fourteen at the time. he was painfully conscious of his parents' 'sacrifice' to make 'his dream' possible. can you imagine what kind of pressure that must be for a teenager?

to be clear, this isn't supposed to be a gotcha, I'm not trying to uncover contradictions between what casey said back then and what he's saying now. obviously, this is all very... thorny, complicated stuff, and casey has had to figure out for himself how he feels about it, how he feels about how his parents approached his upbringing. but it is worth pointing out that this isn't necessarily just a question of his feelings changing over time - if the internal timeline he provides in the podcast is correct, he was really having that realisation in his late teens, early 20s, so on the verge of joining the premier class. that is when he says he had the thought "I don't know if I would have been a bike racer had I actually had a choice"... which is a pretty major admission, you have to say, especially given how rough those premier class years often ended up being on him. but then that realisation would have already come years and years before he wrote his autobiography, it would've been something he carried with him for most of his career. given that, you do look at his autobiography and think that he did make the decision to frame things pretty differently back then, that he decided to exclude certain things from his narrative. if this really is already something that's been festering within him for years, if he does feel like he wants to be a bit more open about all of that now than back then... well, hopefully it shows he's been able to work through all of it a bit more in the intervening years

(this is somehow an even thornier topic than his relationship with parents, but relatedly there is a bit of a discrepancy between how bullish he is in his autobiography about how mentally unaffected he was by his results, versus how he's since opened up since then about his anxiety. again, I want to stress, this is not a gotcha, he's under no obligation to share this stuff with the world - especially given the amount of discourse during his career about his supposed 'mental weakness'. it is still important in understanding him, though, how he consciously decided to tell his own story in the autobiography and how he's somewhat changed his approach in the subsequent years)

this is the rest of his answer to that podcast question I relayed above:

But at the same time you know I felt that no matter what I would have done, I sort of have a - my mentality of self-punishment, you know, of never being good enough that always drove me to try and be better and any single thing that I did, I didn't like it when I wasn't not perfect. I don't believe in the word perfect but I really didn't enjoy when I wasn't, you know, in my own terms considered a good enough level at anything I did so I would always sort of try to get up as high as I could regardless of what for.

at which point hodgson says exactly what I was thinking and goes 'god what a line' about the "mentality of self-punishment" thing. it is one hell of a line!

what's really interesting about this podcast is how these two big themes of 'this wasn't my choice' and 'self-punishment' end up kinda being linked together when casey talks about how the motogp world reacted to him... so again I'm gonna quickly toss in a bit from the autobiography (where he's talking about casual motorcycling events he went to as a kid), because it does read similarly in how for him the joy and competitive aspects of riding are closely linked:

It was a competition but it wasn't highly competitive; it was just for fun, really. Of course, I didn't see it that way, though, and I had dirt and stones flying everywhere. I don't think anyone expected the park to be shredded like it was. When I was on my bike, if I wasn't competing to my maximum level then I wasn't having as much fun.

and back to the podcast:

And also because people truly didn't understand me, that I'm not there just to enjoy the racing. As we're explaining, before that, you know it was sort of a road paved for me... And so the results were all important, not the enjoyment of it. And then you cop the flak for everything you do. I'm also very self-punishing, so it was kind of a - just a lose lose lose and it was all very very heavy on myself, so... It, you know, it took me till my later years to realise I could take the pressure off myself a little bit and go look you've done all the work you've done everything you can, you got to be proud of what you've done, so... Not necessarily go out there and enjoy it, because I don't believe you should just be going out in a sport where you're paid as much as we are expect to get results and just - you know - oh I'm just going to go and have fun it's like... yeah, nah, if you're just going to go and have fun then you're not putting in the work. And that's when we see inconsistencies etc. So I was very very harsh on myself and so even when I won races, if I made mistakes or I wasn't happy with the way I rode, well then yeah I'm happy I won but there's work to do. There was more to get out of myself and so that's where I copped a lot of bad... um, let's say bad press because of those kind of things and then they sort of attack you even more because they didn't like the fact that you didn't celebrate these wins like they wanted you to they expect you to I suppose treat every victory like almost a championship and you know it's not that I expected these wins but I expected more of myself and therefore maybe I didn't celebrate them as much as you know other people do.

kind of brings together a lot of different things, doesn't it? this whole profession was a path that was chosen for him... which he links here to how the results were 'all important' for him, how it just couldn't ever be about enjoyment. he always punished himself for his mistakes, he was under constant pressure, which also affected how he communicated with the outside world... he was so committed to self-flagellation that he made it tough for himself to actually celebrate his victories, which in turn wasn't appreciated by the fans or the press. so on the one hand, casey's obviously still not particularly thrilled about how much of a hard time he was given over his particular approach to being a rider. but on the other hand, he's also describing how all of this can be traced back to how becoming a rider was never actually his 'choice'. he's detailed his perfectionism before, including in his autobiography, including in discussing his anxiety disorder more recently - but this is explicitly establishing that link between the pressure he'd felt during his childhood to how he'd been pushed into this direction to how he then had to perform. he couldn't afford to be anything less than perfect, so he wasn't, and at times he made his own life even tougher as a result of his own exacting standards. this just wasn't stuff he's said in such straightforward, explicit terms before... and now he is

my general thing with casey is that his reputation as a straight shooter or whatever means people aren't really paying enough attention to how he's telling his own story. like, I kinda feel the perception is 'oh he used to be more closed off because the media ragged on him but since retirement he's been able to tell it like it really is' or whatever. and I'm not saying that's necessarily wrong, but it's not quite as simple as that. because he's not a natural at dealing with the media, he's put a fair bit of thought into how to communicate better with them (which he does also say in the podcast), and he's explicitly acknowledged this is something he looked to valentino for in order to learn how to better handle. because casey has felt misunderstood for quite a long time, he's quite invested in selling his story in certain ways - and it's interesting how what he's chosen to reveal or emphasise or conceal or downplay has changed over time. which means there will be plenty of slight discrepancies that pop up over time that will be as revealing as anything he explicitly says... and it tells you something, what his own idea of what 'his story' is at any given time. this podcast isn't just interesting as a sort of, y'know, one to one, 'this is casey telling the truth' or whatever - it's reflecting where his mind is at currently, what he wants to share and in what way, and how that compares to his past outlook. the framing of his childhood was really something that popped out about this particular interview... it's not like it's exactly surprising that this is how he feels, but more that he decided to say all of this so openly. some pretty heavy stuff in there! hope the years really have helped him... man, I don't know. figure it all out, for himself. something like that

[thebluestbluewords]

Audrey’s Diary

I’m reading through Audrey’s diary, and I have to say…out of all the descendants tie-in books, this one has been my least favorite so far. There’s some fun moments, but overall it’s rehashing the events of the movies that we’ve already seen, and only adds a little bit of additional Audrey perspective. Compared to Mal’s Spellbook, or Evie’s Fashion Book, there’s not a lot of additional content that we don’t already see in the movies.

That being said, there’s some really fun moments of Audrey POV that help expand on her relationship with her parents, her grandmother, her godmothers, and even some of her Auradon friends. It’s not my favorite tie-in book, but it’s still fun to read.

This page is fun for a couple of reasons- we get to hear about Sir Choppington’s, which is apparently in East Riding, near King George Town. (I’m collecting a list of Auradon town names. Who King George is doesn’t matter here. He’s got a town named after him!!)

Either Jane doesn’t look up salon reviews before she gets her hair cut….or her mom made the decision for her, which feels like a strong possibility considering Jane’s relationship with her mom in the first movie. Audrey’s mom isn’t even present in the movie, so it’s not surprising that she wouldn’t consider Jane’s mom telling her where to go as an option in this bad haircut saga.

I know that this book is supposed to make Audrey feel more sympathetic, but honestly I just feel bad for her. Judging your friend’s haircuts is a time honored tradition, but the focus on how Jane ignored Audrey’s advice really does feel like something a self-centered teenager would write. It certainly doesn’t feel very sympathetic to poor Jane….which might be an indication of how their friendship falls apart later on.

Speaking of hair, here’s another page where we get a more detailed view of Audrey’s opinions on other people’s hair. This page is basically her line from the movie, not quite word for word….but pretty close. I was a little disappointed that we dont get anything else about why Audrey dislikes magic- her mother fell under a magic spell, but she also had a magic color changing dress that’s pretty iconic. Magic for beauty feels like a slippery slope for teenagers who are unhappy with their bodies, sure, but Audrey bby….you go to a salon to change your hair layer in this book. Changing your appearance is only bad when you’re doing it with magic, not dye or extensions?

I’m impressed with how well the Auradon Prep sixth grade Gateway Magic seminar seems to have preached magical abstinence-only education. Kudos to Fairy Godmother on ensuring that her students both hate and don’t understand magic. The nods to Auradon Prep classes are one of my favorite things in this book.

[the-inheritance-games]

Y’all I get the criticism but saying it’s not possible to take a test in ten minutes and ace it is just not true.

1. It’s literally just basic test taking strategy. I’m taking the SAT in a month and what Lyra describes is literally in my Princeton review book. There’s an entire chapter that details process of elimination and how you don’t need to know any of the content or even read the passages when taking multiple choice test bc you just need to look for a PATTERN. You just read what it’s asking and look at the answer choices to eliminate obviously wrong answers, and this saves you time bc if you eliminate wrong answers then you can always find the right answer. And if you already have some prior knowledge or other skills like her brain that only recognizes concepts well then I’m sure you can do really well, which she does.

2. Sure maybe even knowing that what she did is just basic process of elimination it’s still a little unrealistic but I mean it’s not more unrealistic than 4 teenagers who can solve puzzles in their minds in mere minutes, who have an uncountable number of skills like sword fighting, rock climbing, computer hacking, shooting, and who are the BEST at EVERYTHING they do and have been since the day they were born.

Her taking a test and acing it isn’t the most unrealistic thing in this series and if the real criticism is that she’s too much like Avery and Grayson then I also get that but at the same time it’s not completely true. She has more of a fiery/snarky side to her like with the way she responded to the profesor and the assholes who catcalled her. Neither Avery or Grayson would have reacted the way she did. They are both way more poised than that and would have kept most comments to themselves bc for them less is more when. But Lyra had no problem throwing it right back at them. Sure they would have still responded in some way but not in the same way.

One last thing I wanna say is that she will probably look and sound way different in other peoples POV. If you’ve ever read heroes of Olympus you might understand, but characters often view themselves way different than how others view them. Like with Percy and Leo. In Percy’s chapters you see how most times he doesn’t really know what he’s doing or that he’s a little self conscious but from litteraly everyone else POV they describe him as intimidating and powerful like a really tough guy but also chill but in his own the dude is literally just thinking about Annabeth, how to not die, and making stupid jokes. And Leo is the opposite. In everyone else’s chapters he’s the funny guy, super unserious and just overall happy chill dude but in his own you see how much he is suffering with feeling left out, a little depression, and self hatred and you see himself putting himself down. It’s a common phenomenon, so my guess is that with Lyra it will be similar, she is the only one who will know she is suffering, Grayson doesn’t count bc he doesn’t have a pov. Her personality might shine through more in gigis or rohans pov and I think if we really want to judge until we see both of these sides of her.