#thank you now i will go cry
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god, i wish i knew you back when i was a kid / but when you stare into me now, it feels like i did
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk 266#jjk leaks#fr anon thank u fr the request i am once again emo thinking abt them#n denial fv....god end me put me out of my misery#itfs context makes the lyrics more . healing n hopeful as opposed to wistful and lonely :'<#'everything around me looks so different now / yet everything about me wants to show you around'#PLS PLS PSLPSSLPS ILL CRY ILL DO ITTTTT#anyway emo hours aside original plan was striped shirt yuuji but i gave up smile#put him in white t shirt jail yet again sighs i feel like i do tht with him so often.....#like kid megu that's just his canon outfit but yuuji i wanted 2 get a bit more creative. task failed :(#hes got mismatched socks n scuffed knees but thats abt it#i often think abt how in official art they always put gojo in a gd white t shirt and i go smh but then here i go#pot kettle etc etc#megumi voice whatever!!!!! white tshirt in sunlight Looks Good sue me#pls enjoy them :'> anon i hope i delivered
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JJK OLYMPICS OHHH YOURE A GENIUS
head spinning w sooooooo many athlete aus rn…..
satoru honestly isn’t half as cocky as the media makes him out to be but he could be because you bring up world champion men’s freestyle swim times and it’s his name on the scoreboard ten times before someone else shows up. he’s faster than himself by fifteen seconds all around, he’s earned a bit of cockiness. mentioned in the last post that whenever he’s at a competition and he finishes a race, he looks at the camera and signs a little infinity sign and then blows a kiss to you. some bitter old coach always calls him out on it, and gets him fined for unsportsmanlike conduct, and he’s happy to pay the fees if it means getting a message home to you, but eventually you two come up with a new code; and at his next race, he places gold, turns to the camera, crosses his middle finger over his pointer finger and smiles. when he’s in his post-race interview, he makes sure to explain that he does it for you with the widest smile on his face.
megumi nepotism baby but not in the same sport. toji was a multi gold medalist back in his heyday for shooting, so it’s not really a surprise to anybody that megumi has scary good aim, but he takes to archery instead of shooting. actually the idea of megumi being an emo little kid and throwing rocks at a tree when his dad pissed him off his hilarious, and even funnier is toji watching him, slightly amused and a little scared because megumi is maybe six and hitting the exact same spot every single time. he grows to be very blase about it—it’s more of a release/hobby for him that he happens to be really good at, and well, now good enough to earn a few olympic medals. megumi is not a fan of having his dad ruffle his hair on international television after he’s won, but he supposes it can’t be helped.
i don’t know where to put yuuta…. tennis…. tempting….. him in his little white shorts…. little grunts after he serves…. cries….. a complete 180 in his personality when he’s playing vs doing anything else. so charming and sweet and kinda shy when he’s being interviewed, and the second he steps on the court his eyes are so cold it’s scary…. need him… extremely nerdy about his rackets, and shoes, and clothes, and rambles to you about aerodynamics and posture and torque whenever you ask him to teach you, and you always have to shutup him up with a kiss and remind him that yeah you sort of want to learn to play tennis for him, but mostly you came bc he looks hot doing it. once he got asked in an interview if he ever thinks about you while he’s playing and his response was very concise, “no, never. it would be a big distraction,” and did not realize the implications of his heavily televised words.
also…. not to make this post 40% yuuta but we could pull from canon a bit and make his sport fencing. he doesn’t excel because he’s the strongest, it’s because he’s learned to treat the sword as an extension of himself and a good strategist… also because i like the image of him pulling the helmet/mask off and shaking his hair out………..
don’t even know where to put yuuji…. volleyball? basketball? track and field??? the irony of him easily being the most athletic but canonically does not want to play sports 😭 but i can see him playing a sport because someone scouts him and it turns out to be a way to make steady money to support himself and his grandpa :( by the time he’s qualified and made it to the olympics, wasuke is doing much better (thanks to yuuji having landed some preemptive sponsorships and being able to afford better medical care), but not so well enough that he can travel across the world to watch yuuji play. wasuke tells you that you should travel and be with yuuji, but yuuji is so touched by the idea that you would stay with his grandpa and be by his side when he’s away :(( he wins gold, of course, and he doesn’t even wait until the closing ceremony—which, he’d mentioned in all of his interviews, so nobody can be too upset. he’s on record saying, “i’m excited to play, but i’m even happier to be going home. my girlfriend and my grandpa are watching me and i miss them!” several times— he’s on the first flight home with flowers, and tears in his eyes. puts his gold medal on his grandpa’s neck as a thank you, and spends probably thirty minutes straight hugging you and kissing you and honestly don’t put it past him to propose now that he’s got nike ambassador money
nanami started judo as a way to relieve the stress of his overbearing job, and someone at the gym/training center notices he seems to be a natural despite being a beginner. he starts to draw a crowd, which annoys him at first because the point of judo was discipline and release from having to deal with too many people at his office job, but nanami supposes he can’t be too mad when you introduce yourself as a talent scout and offer him professional training. there’s irony in him accepting your offer, because it was definitely not based in professionalism at all… quitting his job as a salaryman to become a professional athlete in his mid-twenties was not on his bingo chart, but if it means he will have met you, then so be it. you’re with him all the way, through his training, competitions, world championships, qualifiers, all the way until he’s on the podium. you’re the first to congratulate him, but he interjects by telling you he’s quitting. you ask him why—he just won at the olympics for crying out loud, but nanami just shakes his head, puts down his flowers and his medal so his hands are free to hold your face and tell you, “it would be unethical to kiss my manager, so i am quitting.” (later, when everything is said and done, and you two are cuddling, you mention to him that he could just hire a new manager, and not quit his new career, to which he blushes because yeah… that’s probably more rational, but rational was not in his train of thought at the time)
#anonymous#nanami kento.......................................... god#also yuuji :((((( just a kid who wanted to do something nice for his grandpa I will CRY#immediate proposal when he gets home to you who does he think he is? yuuta?#speaking of yuuta he's like the best player his age and he's always asked to attend events or parties or whatever#and he's always like ah no thank you I am going home to my girlfriend#every fucking interview it's like yeah I love tennis but I love my girlfriend more for supporting and encouraging me#my girlfriend my girlfriend my girlfriend#one day he actually seems Excited to be doing his press conference and a journalist picks up on it to which yuuta happily raises his hand#and lets everyone know that he's now engaged. and very very grateful for his wife#he does the same shit a few years later like randomly during a press conference he's like#'I am kinda nervous. my baby didn't sleep well last night so I was up with him pretty late' and everyone's like BABY?#and yuutas like yeah! he's almost 14 months now do u wanna see him!#let me stop bringing kids into this bc w/ satoru and kento I could go on for hours....#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jujutsu kaisen smut#gojo x reader#gojo smut#yuuta x reader#yuuji x reader#megumi x reader#nanami kento x reader#once u asked megumi what he thinks about when he's practicing and he's so deadpan as he reloads and arrow#and right before he lets it go he's like 'ur ex boyfriend' and then hits the target dead in the center LMFAO#olympics au
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i just want to take a second for the absolute legend, james earl jones, who passed away today.
the voice of darth vader himself.
you defined my childhood (and, honestly, most of my adult life) in a way that cant be put into the words. the terror and fear and power you put behind vader made him such an incredible villain, but also the pain and the loss and the love for his family you voiced made him feel so real and so human, even behind the mask. it's so amazing how voice actors are able to bring such expression, emotion, and life to a character. ESPECIALLY one that solely exists in a mask! there's no facial expression, no visible emotion that we can see. all we have is some basic movements and a voice - and your voice, sir, was what made vader into one of the most iconic characters in all of film and tv history. how you were able to show such power and anger and certainty and resignation and grief and finally, relief? when all you see is a mask? its just...mind blowing.
and your love for the character was so tangible!! voicing vader in countless projects until 2016!!! almost 40 years of such an incredible legacy!!
my favorite star wars movie of the skywalker saga is return of the jedi. in it are my favorite scenes in all of star wars - luke and vader on endor, and then the throne room scene with luke facing off against darth vader and the emperor.
we see vader as such a force for evil across most of the original trilogy. hell, even in the stuff that came out later that you voiced (revenge of the sith, rebels, rogue one) - vader is fucking terrifying.
but there's such an amazing shift in vader when we see him interact with luke for the first time since the reveal of their relationship. luke is trying to convince vader to turn, to leave with him and disobey the emperor. there is such a....weight, for lack of a better term, that you give vader's responses that stole my breath away from the moment i first heard it. you managed to take this villain, this boogeyman of the star wars universe clad in black armor and machinery, and made him feel so incredibly, beautifully human.
and when i heard vader say the line "it's too late for me, son" to luke's pleading, it changed everything for me. the amount of grief held in those words, the pain that you could feel. in that moment, vader changed from a monster of nightmare into something so tragic. it was amazing. it was heartbreaking. it was beautiful.
and i think that was the moment i think i truly fell in love with star wars. and it was because of you.
(and that's not even to mention some of the other incredible lines that made vader such an incredible character!! i think of how young you made him sound in revenge of the sith - that "where is padme?" fucking haunts me. and yes there are so many classic and amazing vader "NOOOs", but the one that really gets me is the one when he decides to save luke, to find the light again, to choose his destiny. the way you portrayed that conflict and resolve with a simple two-letter word? amazing.)
anyways, just....thank you. thank you for your gift, for your talent, for your legacy. you will, quite literally, never be forgotten.
may the force be with you, james earl jones. always.
#this news broke my heart a little today not gonna lie#he was 93 and lived a hell of a life so it wasnt a complete surprise...but still#thank you james earl jones. may the force be with you.#darth vader#james earl jones#star wars#i think im gonna go watch empire strikes back and return of the jedi now#and cry probably#em speaks#mine
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It's okay Seven, we've all been here
#infamous if#seven lawless#also not to be basic or anything but 'every you every me' by placebo?? MC and Seven's song#'carve your name into my arm' like yeah. literally. i'm going to scream and cry and claw at the walls now thank u#(was supposed to post it by the end of the month but couldn't wait)#(it's one of the three new pictures i have)
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I just had the time to open my phone properly and WHAT DO I SEE? THE GO CREW IS CAUSING CHAOS AGAIN. This time it's Rob Wilkins with "Do it again".
ANYWAY DO YOU GUYS SEE THAT THIS SCENE IS A THOUSAND TIMES WORSE NOW
HE WAS TRYING TO RECRATE THE FEELING OF CROWLY'S LIPS. His "I forgive you" meant "Do it again I'm trying to understand what is happening". But Crowly didn't know that and stormed away taking it at face value. He wanted to try it again but now he can't! SO HE WAS KISSING HIS HAND AND POSITIONING HIS LIPS THE VERY SAME WAY.
PLEASE LET THE MIDDLE-AGED IDIOTS COMMUNICATE FOR ONCE MY HEART IS ALREADY FINE AS DUST
tagging @fellshish cause I need someone to suffer with me and you're the very first one that comes to mind
#thank you for listening to my dumbassery#imma go cry into a pillow now#good omens#good omens season 2#meta#kinda i guess?#idk i have no clue#i saw the post and my brain was like hey wanna make this worse :)
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[Image description: a digital drawing of sklonda and pok gukgak from fantasy high, two goblins with shoulder length straight hair and short curly hair, respectively. they're touching foreheads and embracing, both of sklonda's hands in pok's hair, while one of pok's hands is moving sklonda's bangs off her foreheads and the other is clutching at her waist. we only see sklonda's face and the look of silent grief on it. in the background on pok's half is a stylized dragon's mouth with teeth digging into his shoulder, and on sklonda's side are sheets of paper. over the background on the left is text that reads, it's okay, and then on the right side in brackets it says, (it'll be ok). End image description]
#sklonda gukgak#pok gukgak#fantasy high#fantasy high sophomore year#eyestrain tw#just in case#sklonpok#fhsy#a huge thank u to other artists on my dash who also indulge in making art that is truly for all of 5 people#and most of all for themselves#it reminds me i can just draw whatever i want and my own enjoyment is merit enough#mwah mwah#also hi. i don't know what to caption this so it'll stay captionless#there was a version of this drawing where sklonda was crying but this 'silent grief' is just. more potent#that kind of like. sadness but also acceptance#i miss you but i wont forever clutch onto you. ugh#i like the little space between them because. is one of them pulling away? both? we need to let go for now (i will keep holding on)#(how can i ever fully let go. do i have to?)#its 2 am and i need to sleep but man. grief is a Beast
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Transformers One Review
For the sake of convenience, I’ll be referring to the characters as their new names (Optimus Prime, Megatron, Bumblebee) instead of their old ones (Orion Pax, D-16, B-127).
Also, I didn’t grow up with Transformers, so this will be mostly from an outsider’s perspective. I can’t tell what possibly was or wasn’t a retcon or how accurate to the source material it was, but I think the background info on their world held up very well and they were able to explain it clearly to new viewers like me. It definitely would have hit harder if I grew up with Transformers and knew more than just facts from cultural osmosis, but I still enjoyed the movie a lot.
Notes/Things I’m Neutral On
Very weird to hear my name (Dee) being said throughout most of the movie by Chris Hemsworth’s bad American accent.
Also, I forgot that Megatron has transformed into ground vehicles before. I only ever knew him to turn into a jet, so I was kind of confused that he was a tank in this movie. I hope we get to see him get upgraded to a jet in the next one, but the tank is still cool.
Pros/Things I Liked
Simple but effective color theory with their eye colors. Main good guys have blue while Megatron has yellow, sitting between good and bad. Still a friendly color at first, but slowly turns closer to orange and then fully red as his anger and hatred consume him (and after he met the red-eyed Starscream, a cowardly man who ends up enabling Megatron‘s more violent/aggressive tendencies)
○ Also I don’t know if I was just seeing things, but it looked like Megatron’s eyes got more yellow whenever he looked at Optimus which is so sad and so gay.
I really thought they were gonna push a romance between Elita and either Bumblebee (goofy manchild x competent woman trope) or Optimus (male lead x female lead, blue x pink), but I was pleasantly surprised that they didn’t. Sadly, there’s still time for it in future installments, but I can dream.
Not to be gay, but spider woman sexy. Airachnid was so obviously evil that it was funny, but I can’t fault Sentinel for having her around because I, too, would want a deadly goth woman to be my right-hand lady. They felt like the evil, less developed versions of Mustang and Hawkeye. I am in love.
The animation is gorgeousssss. The environments, the character designs, the fight choreography, the transformations, the lighting, the texture, mwah mwah MWAH STUNNING!!!
○ Sorry, I’m never gonna stop talking about this. The way they were able to make square/blocky figures move so fluidly was fantastic (and proof of concept that a fully animated Minecraft movie would have worked). ○ The camera angles were also great for framing both the dramatic, intense, and/or high-action moments like fights or chase scenes, while also adding a lot to the comedic moments. Like when the camera stays tracking Optimus’ face when running through the forest, only for him to suddenly fall down a cliff neither he nor us saw coming, only to then zoom out to the perspective of the guards below, showing them stumbling and falling. ○ The contrast between the mechanical and organic elements on the surface were really cool, and the way it was introduced was able to convey this idea that organic life was this strange, alien thing. ○ The way the surface just rebuilds itself into these jagged, blocky terrains was really unique and interesting! It felt like a glitched computer model because of its rougher shapes which really added to the fear and hostility of the surface.
90% of their jokes landed and they landed hard. The bit where Optimus looks like he’s about to transform and then just fucking books it is incredible. The audio and camera work help add to these as well, like the music building as Optimus pretends to transform, the camera zooming in close to different parts of him, only for all background noise to cut out as it shows Optimus running away. I won’t name every joke and quip I found funny or we’d be here all day, but they’re certainly a highlight of the movie.
I love Keegan-Michael Key, but I wasn’t a fan of him as the comic relief character of Toad in the Mario movie. When Bumblebee showed up I got a little nervous, but I really loved his performance of the character.
I really liked the midpoint pep talk about hope. That’s a really nice reason that Optimus is the leader despite not being as skilled as other people. He has the hope for a better future and it was a core part of his character from the beginning, and I really like the idea that a leader is someone who can envision a brighter future no matter what.
Alpha Trion transforming was SICK AS FUCK!!! I love that he was more animalistic when the rest of the cast become vehicles. His final fight was so cool, and it actually made me kind of emotional to see him at the end with the rest of the Prime ghosts.
The stabbings? The beheadings?? The branding??? The way Megatron tore Sentinel in half and then ripped his heart out on-screen holy shit???? This movie was incredibly brutal and I loved it. It’s such an interesting phenomenon that children’s media is allowed to be about as graphic as they want as long as it’s against robots, even incredibly sentient ones like in the Transformers series.
○ I watched the 1986 Transformers movie for a class earlier this year, and while it also had a lot of brutality in it’s fights, the new movie felt more intense. Part of this could be attributed to me watching the 2024 movie on a big screen vs the 1986 movie in my living room, but there are other reasons as well. The 1986 movie had more upbeat songs playing over the fights, specifically songs like The Touch and Dare, which helped keep the tone lighter and more exciting. The 2024 movie didn’t have anything like that, allowing the action, while still cool and exciting, to take on a more serious tone. This is also emphasized by the graphics of the movie being 3D instead of 2D. While the 2D 1986 movie is a stunning masterpiece, people still view it with the idea in mind that, since it’s a cartoon, the stakes and story will be less intense. The 2024 movie being 3D with very detailed graphics and lighting already has more visual intensity. The characters are still these bright, poppy colors, but they can come across more moody and dark due to the environments, lighting, and textures that the 3D medium more easily allows. And while the painted backgrounds and cell shading of the old movie are great, the CGI backgrounds are a lot closer to realism, so the harsher elements like metal and rock, which make up a vast majority of the environment and characters, look real too.
The way Megatron’s hate consumed him to the point where he started acting more villainous and, while not entirely similar to Sentinel, still ended up hurting innocent people was tragic. Trying to push away and deny everything about a person only to wind up being just like them. This was perfectly shown in the end credit scene where Megatron is branding himself and the new Decepticons with Megatronus Prime’s face. To him, it may be him reclaiming the traumatic experience and literally using it like a badge of honor, as well as thinking he’s honoring Megatronus Prime. But in reality, he’s just inflicting the same trauma done to him onto others, just like Sentinel. Such a cool way to show how every villain is the hero of their own story.
The doomed yaoiiiiii I’m never gonna get over them. The only other Transformers media I’ve consumed is the 1986 movie, which kills off Optimus Prime in the first 25 minutes and Megatron becomes Galvatron, so I never knew the depths of their homoerotic relationship.
I’m a sucker for “the hero and villain used the be friends (and maybe even lovers?)” trope, so Optimus and Megatron’s relationship and the general premise of the movie was already a slam dunk for me.
I’m also a fan of legacy stories like Avatar and She-Ra. While this movie didn’t get as in-depth with the concept, I enjoyed that they played with the idea of legacy and taking up the mantle of the former Primes.
I absolutely loved the end message that Optimus gives us. Hope, freedom, and autonomy are incredibly important things to learn, and as a trans person who very much wants to keep control over what I do with my body, I really resonated with that last one. I think it’s really cool that they included a message like that in this children’s movie about robots that turn into cars.
Regarding the message of autonomy, I love that it gives the term Autobots a new meaning. Auto meaning “automobile”, since they transform into cars, and Auto meaning “self”, as they are now fully their own bots with control over themselves.
Cons/Things I Disliked
Mid vocal performances from everyone except Brian Tyree Henry and Keegan-Michael Key. And as I mentioned before, it was hard not to focus on Chris’ attempts at an American accent, not to mention how recognizable his, as well as Scarlett Johansson’s, voices are.
The plot felt a little disjointed in the first 1/3-ish.
○ Good setup with the main characters being an oppressed working class with one dreaming of better things and the other hesitant to fall out of line or take risks. But then suddenly there’s a race, and then they’re in it, and then they lose, and then their leader wants to promote them. At first it feels like there are hints that he’s a scummy celebrity-type and that meeting their hero is what will spur on the disillusionment with their society. But then some random douchebag that doesn’t like them reassigns them which goes against their leader’s command, and that’s how the plot kicks off? ○ Also, Elita’s involvement felt kind of rushed/hand-waved. They all get stuck on the surface, but instead of trying to make her way back to report them like she was saying she would for the past few minutes, she makes a complete 180 and heads the expedition herself. ○ It all just felt a little strange, but once it got going the rest of the plot felt fine.
Megatron’s descent into “evil” felt kind of rushed. I understand that he feels betrayed and I really love where the character ends up by the end, but it felt like a real 180 without a lot of build up.
Some jokes fell flat or felt annoying and kinda cringe. That’s the territory of children’s movies though, so par for the course.
TLDR
Overall, this movie was a really fun watch and I’d love to go see it again. While some parts fall a little flat, the movie is lifted from mediocrity by its many Pros. From the stunning visuals, to the quick humor, to the tragic origins of two friends driven apart by their ideals, I’d recommend this movie to anyone interested in animation or the Transformers brand.
8.82/10
#I knew that Optimus and Megatron were like soulmates but for murder but I never really GOT IT before now#sobbing and crying I need to watch this again#long post#transformers one#transformers#transformers one spoilers#optimus prime#orion pax#megatron#bumblebee#b 127#elita#elita one#I'm going to make a confession guys. I think the reason I like the 'enemies used to be friends' trope so much is because of spongebob#they advertised a special episode forever ago about the origins of Mr. Krabs and Plankton#and the big twist was that they used to be friends!!! but their relationship fell apart after a fight and they've been enemies ever since#and I ate that shit up as a kid!!! my mind was blown and I've never been the same since. it did irreparable things to my brain chemistry#so everyone say thank you to spongebob for letting me appreciate the toxic doomed robot yaoi
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i... wrote a smol fic (っ´▽`*)っ
also!!!!! If you haven't seen it - shoutout to first ever published fic in Ninja Showdown/My Immortal Soul tags - Lustrous Red by @missadmyre !!!
#ninja showdown#my immortal soul#first ninja x chase young#rc9gn first ninja#first ninja#rc9gn#chase young#xiaolin showdown#randy cunningham 9th grade ninja#rc9gn plop plop#well i say smol fic.... but those 4k words felt very long.#i did say i was going to direct my energy into writing >.> and now look at me ive gone insane#no actually dont look at me im just gonna go cry over my 20k words of rough drafts for like dozen ideas that are now going#to haunt my every waking moment like JESUS i woke up today and literally wrote out 1k words of an idea for a modern au for those two TToTT#its literally an au where its a meet cute turned meet violent and first is randy's sorta dad and chase wants to adopt omi#not to mention a different AU where its an epic mystery adventure AAAAAAA someone heeeelppppp meeeee#also. its been a month but im still staring so intently at missadmyre's fic hoping for another crumb. like thank you sm for the food!!!!#ive literally been rereading it several times after i went insane about it on my main blog and im still slurping at it like a starved perso#Ive been collecting my ideas like a dragon but after reading that fic i was like: I WANT TO READ MORE FICS ABOUT THEM#but i dont wanna be a whiny baby&beg others and be annoying about it. So i put on my big person pants and was like f it WE R WRITINg NOW#so i dont care how bad my writing will be. we gonna be balling on those ideas and YES it doesnt make sense im just v rambly rn
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As I get more and more into s-classes that I raised, I understand Yoohyun more. And its kinda sad.
He is the reincarnation of prominent fire. He isn't fully human. His parents felt there was some problem with him, so they left him alone, never cared for him. He was a subject of negligence. Others also avoided him. Yoojin was the only person who cared for him.
Yoohyun never understood human, their emotion and the complexity of it. He never understood society and how it works. And probably that's why he never understood the consequences of him leaving Yoojin and how badly it would hurt Yoojin and Yoojin's reputation, how badly people would treat Yoojin and how it'd slowly eat away Yoojin from inside.
That's why he never understood the complex feelings Yoojin would go through if he is to leave Yoojin.
Yoohyun probably knew Yoojin loved him enough to not stop hoping for his return(I think, because Yoohyun wanted to reunite with Yoojin once he had a strong position), but he did not know Yoojin loved him enough to endure all the mistreatment and still go to dungeon raid and all just to get his approval, just to be a brother that is not a burden.
And its sad. Its sad that he couldn't understand humans. That he was doing everything within what he could understand. That he didn't realize all of it will make Yoojin more and more sad.
As someone who had stuggles understanding emotions, society, interaction and human relationships, I know this struggle. And I find myself feeling sorry for a charcter I never thought I would(I used to dislike him) now I feel sympathy for him. And it made s-classes I raised all more sad for me :)
#just ranting#thank you for reading#I will go cry about it now#sctir#tsctir#my s class hunters#s classes that i raised#the s classes that i raised#han yoohyun#hyh#han yoojin
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Okay. I have a lot to explain. First:
Listen- I am REALLY sorry for not drawing a lot. For the last month (by this point it’s probably been a month), I’ve been really, really behind on drawing and TSAMS lore. I don’t really feel that I’m apart of the fandom anymore. I just lost all my energy to actually dedicate myself to the lore of the show. I feel exhausted. Plus, school isn’t helping. For the last two weeks it’s been kind of hard for me, I mean aside from my trip, but then I had to catch up on work then do 1 project. I had two tests today.
Art block is hitting hard and I hope you understand. I just feel like I want to draw, I have a lot of ideas, I just can never get a result I actually like. It’s a process of drawing and deleting all my progress. I feel like it’s either 1., I make too much art, which in turn exhausts me further, or 2., I don’t make art at all. I’ve just been lurking around Tumblr and going around, like “oh I’m so going to draw this”, but I’m realizing that I definitely do not have enough energy to draw anything TSBS right now.
My main focus at the moment is school and school only. I hope you understand this because I had a shit ton of late work I had to do from the days I missed while I was away (7 fucking pages), and I had to zoom through that, THEN I had the science test. I had my math test today and I did well and now I’m tired af. I just don’t feel like drawing in general, period. Coloring maybe, but I just have too many things to do OUTSIDE of drawing online on here. Basically this is just me taking a small break. I’m sorry that content may be slower on my account, but I feel like I need this or else I will eventually just actually pass out from the stress. No one did nothing wrong aside from me. I’m just torturing myself. My brain hurts and my sleep schedule is damaged. Planning events is NOT fun and every weekend, I seriously just want a break, but OH someone’s coming over or we’re doing something or we’re going somewhere. I seriously cannot take a break unless I have NOTHING TO DO, which is kind of impossible considering my mother’s plans.
I just don’t feel like drawing. I feel like I’m starting to sleep more early everyday. My mind is a mess. It hurts. It hurts.
I’m just so sorry about this. I hope you guys understand I may not be in the best mental state (even if I act like I’m not, and same at with school, @kiwikay3 …), and I don’t feel like drawing for a bit. Just expect me to give you updates once in a while and maybe that’s it. Just don’t expect a ton of content or doodles from me.
This problem has nothing to do with you guys, I just want you to know this and know what to expect from me from now on. I’ll catch up with all my art requests and things like that eventually, I just feel like school has taken a toll on me. On my health. But, just myself overall. I don’t want anyone to worry. I’ll probably be active less and less so it’s fine if you unfollow me or something because I feel like I’ve already failed you all, and I’ve already reached the peak of my art journey (mid-October or so). I’m so sorry but I feel like when I write these I just get so emotional and I can’t really describe any of it in words. I’m probably going to sleep after this before I actually start crying. I’m actually so annoyed and sad and I just feel so many emotions. My brother is not helping, because HE does not care about his physical health so me and my parents do instead.
Sorry. Thank you all.
I feel like I’m going to have a mental breakdown fuck i hate this
#TW vent#tsams#important#-#I just want you guys to know what’s going on#for now at least#I’ll probably be in a better mood later.#thank you and sorry.#I know this timing is pretty inconvenient#I’ll try to draw more#but I’m never satisfied#with how it turns out#so I delete it#and the cycle continues#and it’s like it starts melting my brain#I’m so stressed#I’m already crying oh my fucking god#i hate this#but I love you guys#I love you guys so much#thank you.#my brain hurts#it hurts#it hurts.#it hurts..#fuck#oh my god I need a break#I feel like shit#-kin
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people practice w Them <3
#posting this and then shoving my head into a hole Bye#i am! Not Confident!!! in my people scribbling abilities!!#but im trying!!! im fucking trying!!!#i already see improvement#not enough to make me go 'wee the masses are gonna love this'#but enough that i can fathom posting. i can handle it. i can do this#if i dont do it now then i never will!!!!#im still gonna scream into a pillow rip it apart and then eat the stuffing!!!!#ah... the mortification of Existing... of Being Perceived...#it is ever present and inescapable! youd thing id be used to it by now!!!#ill be on my death bed asking people to leave the room so that i can die w/o feeling horribly self conscious and Seen#no seriously every time i think about my potential death and or coma should that happen#i prematurely cringe at the Attention. people potentially crying at my bedside Eugh No Thank You Please Do That Elsewhere#either call me a loser and drop off a single flower or leave me be <3#THIS IS A WELCOME HOME SCRIBBLE POST. IM SORRY I FORGOT#scribble garnish#uh um uh so uh wally and barnaby am i rite fellas-#in my mind they're picking up takeout for dinner <3#yeah no im not tagging it with a fandom tag. i dont want to be perceived As We've Established#im somewhat satisfied with that first wally.... swag <3#& do i have major gender envy for barnaby? yeah#im not used to drawing people but i should be... i need to be...#THERE ARE GUYS I WANNA DRAW! mine and others!!! ngl mostly mine!!!
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Read a fic then suddenly thought-
Do Bruce's kids know he was engaged to Selina and that she stood him up? If not, I'm curious what their reaction would be to the info
WAIT HE WAS ENGAGED TO SELINA AND SHE STOOD HIM UP?!?!?!?
lemme look smth up- OH MY GODS... ok- ok-... ok i think i got this... im gonna cry:
It happened on a Saturday. Because of course it did. The one day where she had no obligations, no excuse to run and flee, and the day that she and Dick met every week to catch up.
"You really drink this stuff?" Dick wrinkled his nose at the smoothie in front of him, pushing it away. Selina laughed, pulling bowls from her cabinet.
"You're really insulting my drinking choices when you live with Bruce Wayne and Tim Drake?" She countered, raising an eyebrow as she ladled soup into their bowls. Dick snorted, accepting his bowl with a nod of thanks.
"Fair, i guess. But I can hate on all of your drink choices. I'm equal in my distribution of judgement." Selina chuckled, blowing gently on her spoon before taking a gentle sip.
"I appreciate it." Dick's shoulders shook with silent laughter as he lifted his spoon in acknowledgement, taking a sip as well.
"Of course. Ah- shoot!" Selina raised an eyebrow as the first Robin cursed, hissing in pain as the hot soup splattered onto his shirt. He sighed in frustration, grabbing a napkin.
Selina swatted his hand away, rolling her eyes. "Go- there are towels in my side table, go to the bathroom." Dick nodded his grim agreement, standing from the table and heading into her bedroom for the towels. Selina shook her head, returning to her meal and finishing it up before standing to clean up.
"Uh?? Lina?" Dick's voice echoed from the bedroom.
"Yeah?" Selina called back, cleaning out her bowl in the sink. Dick walked into the kitchen, a frown on his face.
"What's this?" Selina turned, wiping her hands on a dish towel, and froze.
"Wher- where'd you get that?" She asked quietly, hands grabbing the counter behind her to keep her upright. Dick raised an eyebrow.
"It was in your drawer. Sorry, I didn't mean to pry, but I couldn't find the towels." Selina shook her head.
"Right. Yes. Of course." She turned away, back towards the dishes.
"Tabby?" Dick asked, taking a step closer, the stupid box in his hand. "What is it? You don't usually keep your steals in your drawers, and this is something expensive." Selina breathed slowly, bracing herself.
"No," She agreed finally. "I don't keep steals in my drawers. And yes, it is expensive. I would hope it would be," She smiled softly, turning to face him at last. "Because your father bought it for me."
Dick's eyes grew wide as he looked at the box. "B bought this for you?" Selina tilted her head in a nod. Dick's eyes narrowed. "But... its a ring-" He froze, eyes darting to her. "You're not married." It was a statement. Selina's head jerked in a no. "Then what-"
"We were supposed to be. Going to be." Selina cut him off before his detective skills could go haywire and she'd lose him. "He uh, he asked me. And I said yes. And we were going to be." She leaned against the cabinets, avoiding Dick's blue eyes. The same eyes as his father, though adopted. "But um.." Her finger traced circles on the counter, eyes distant. "We weren't... as alone, as we would have liked. And... someone.. close to me.. She talked me out of it. And I-" Her voice caught but she forced herself to look at him, to say it. "I left him there. Alone."
Dick's silence was damming. "You left him at the altar?" Every word was precise, hard, cold. Selina forced herself to nod.
"Well, technically we didn't have an altar- it was a roof-"
"You left my father, alone, at the altar-" He threw his hands up in frustration. "Chimney- whatever! And- and and, kept his ring???" Selina swallowed.
"He told me to keep it. A reminder. Maybe a promise. Dickie-" She reached for him, begging him to understand.
"No. No." He shook his head, backing away from her. "No no no.. I- I need to think. Alone. And- and maybe talk to Bruce-"
"Please don't." She grabbed his sleeve, holding on despite the vicious look he sent her. "Please. Your father... I don't want him to have to... to be reminded. Please. You can yell at me all you want- but- but leave him out of it. It's my fault." Dick's eyes melted slightly, but he still moved out of reach again, his sleeve slipping through her fingers.
"I know its not his fault." Dick's laugh was entirely devoid of humor. "For once, its not his fault. No, that lies solely on you." His eyes were so hard and cold and blue it hurt.
"Kitten- Dick I'm sorry," Selina begged, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. "If I could I'd go back in time and erase it all from ever going wrong... but I can't. We agreed... we agreed to give each other a break, some time, and I'll give him that," She looked at him, anguished. "I'll give him whatever he wants I will, I swear. But... but I'm no longer a part of that."
Dick stared at her as though she had grown two heads, and maybe she had because he set down the ring box, and took a seat. "Selina, we're going to sit here, and you're going to explain exactly what happened, and after that you're going to explain exactly how it is that you believe he doesn't want you anymore, because I can guarantee-" He laughed, and this time there was something there. "That he still does."
Selina slid into the seat opposite him, hands unconsciously seeking out the box, and the ring inside. She opened it slowly, and Dick watched as she pulled out the ring, twirling the gorgeous thing across her fingers. She slipped it onto her middle finger, and Dick, mercifully, didn't comment, just watched her expectantly. Selina took a deep breath, and began talking.
#uhhh so yeah#that was a#hard comic for me to read#i mean it was beautiful#but the ending took me out#poor bruce#but also poor selina#also i didnt write it#but following this conversation they marry#i dont make the rules#but she talks to bruce#and they marry#and this time everyone is there#yeah#batcat#batcat for life#im sobbing#thanks for this wonderful piece of info im gonna go cry now#batfam#batman#catwoman#bruce wayne#selina kyle#dick grayson#dick felt like the most appropriate batkid to do it#because he and selina go way back#shes like his mom the way bruce is his dad#anyway#hope you liked even if that comic destroyed me
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"[In Daft Punk] We tried to use these machines to express something extremely moving that a machine cannot feel, but a human can. We were always on the side of humanity and not on the side of technology...as much as I love this character, the last thing I would want to be, in the world we live in, in 2023, is a robot." - Thomas Bangalter, 2023.
Daft Punk ft. Julian Casablancas + The Voidz - Infinity Repeating 2013 Demo (Official Video), written & directed by WARREN FU 📀 💿
#daftpunkedit#musicgifs#dailymusicians#daft punk#julian casablancas#the voidz#thomas bangalter#guy manuel de homem christo#random access memories#thestrokesedit#2010s#scifiedit#musicedit#thank you daft punk i'm going to go cry for an hour now#the way julian described this song was so accurate i was not prepared#i have another set on the way im just not sure how to do it omg#*creations#~
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i’m actually going to lose it i can’t even imagine how till is doing after round 6. and not in a ‘he had feelings for ivan’ way but in a ‘till has a self belief that he is universally unloved when all he has ever wanted was to be loved and he had to watch the person who loved him most in the world die for him and has to grapple with the fact that he was so deeply cared for and loved despite what he thought’ way. he had his reality shattered.
if he lives past round 7 (please vivinos) he will have to come to terms with truths he never believed in and (hopefully) use those realizations and acceptance to try to actually love himself
#alnst till#alien stage#alien stage till#alnst#saw k9’s baby till post and now i’m about to cry over till at nine in the morning oml#(love you k9 thanks for the pain)#cast chats#cast's analyses#the original beginning of the post was ‘i am actually going to lose my shit’ but i censored myself LMAO
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Late game spoilers, particulary about Varric! I wasn't able to put this into words before, but now that I've had some time, I think I can actually talk about it. It's a little long though.
I tried to start a new playthrough three times now, but I can't even make it to the ritual side without breaking down. It is, frankly, embarrassing.
But Varric means so, so much to me. I knew deep down that he wouldn't make it out of this alive - that he even survived past DA2 was a surprise to me. The man's got tragic death written all over him! But I still wish we had gotten some more out of him. Some more interactions with the companions, more banter, more relationship dynamics. We never even found out what he would have called the others! (Aside from Neve, who was 'Slick', apparently.)
This isn't even a criticism of the writing! I think it makes sense and fits his character, sadly. (Though it's also the first time they actually managed to make me hate Solas, which is quite a feat.) It's just me being heartbroken about one of - or maybe even my ultimate - comfort character. I played DA2 (and the others, too, but DA2 holds a special place in my heart in this regard) during a time in my life where I was very much just... lost, I guess. God. I think I actually felt physical fucking grief when I went through the Fade prison scene? I was shaking and sobbing the whole time and I don't know if I have it in me again.
I'm a bookseller by trade and Varric loving stories always resonated with me. He's often reduced to being the sarcastic sidekick, but I love all his aspects and complexities so very dearly.
The son who didn't ever quite fit in with the society he grew up in, who couldn't hold up to his parents expectations and so instead refused to be tied down by them, but still had a deep love for his family.
The man who was so tragically in love with a woman he couldn't have that he made her his little secret, keeping Bianca's identity even from his best friends. Who probably still didn't let go of his yearning all those years later, maybe because it was easier than opening up and getting hurt again.
The one who was always bickering with Cassandra, this steely woman he was always at odds with, but still wrote her a continuation for his romance series he didn't even think was good because beneath all of his veneer, he still cared.
Who was presented with this half-spirit half-boy and saw just a squirrely kid who needed some help to find his place in the world. (And yeah, this is special to me. Because god damn it, I never had someone like that growing up, and I would have given all my limbs and a kidney for it.)
Who was so, so full of compassion himself, despite all the shit the world had already thrown at him.
I don't know. Maybe I just have a thing for people who try to lock their hurt away so not even they, themselves, have to confront it. (Maybe because I'm a little like that myself and maybe that's why I like Lucanis so much, as well. Damn you, Mary Kirby.)
But anyway. Sorry for the vent. I just needed someplace to share this, I guess. I don't know what to do with this hole in my chest, but props to Bioware (and damn you again, Mary Kirby) for putting it there, because it's definitely not normal for me to care this much. I wasn't even this sad when I had to leave my Hawke in the Fade. Maybe they'll finally find each other again, wherever they are now 💔
#anyway i'm sorry this got so personal#but i don't think i'll ever be able to look at this man through a neutral lense#he means so much to me#and not just because i wished they'd let me romance him#he's so much more than that#i'll go back to crying now#thanks for reading this if you did#varric tethras#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#datv spoilers#veilguard spoilers#dav spoilers#dragon age 2#god i'll probably delete this later it's so embarrassing#i was supposed to just simp for the hot assassin!!
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this was made especially for those of us who cut ties with our shitty families, huh
i cried so much this whole episode. i know that i can't be in that house and be who i am at the same time, but the guilt and shame never really go away. i love that this episode said, wholeheartedly: fuck what society says, you should be wherever allows you to be happiest
anyway! you always hear that family estrangement is rare in asian communities, but i did it! and you can do it, too! dump your shitty family! i believe in you~
#tsukuritai onna to tabetai onna#it's incredible like i don't think i fully realized how ashamed i feel until this episode had me ugly crying into my blankie#especially because the abuse was invisible and people say: oh everyone's family says harsh things! it's because they care! they love you!#and no matter how hard you try to explain the magnitude of what was done to you people still shrug and say but they're *family*#not that there was ZERO physical abuse but like. that's just How It Is in the community i grew up in so it's not a Reason reason#and that's all aside from all that's expected of me as the child of an asian family (that i am simply doing none of)#FUCK i guess i just compartmentalized all of this so securely i didn't think it could bleed out anymore#thanks tsukutabe. i guess?#this show is RELENTLESSLY coming for me this season too like explicitly stated asexual rep? a treat for me personally!#idk i never expected an asian drama to be so clear about this especially because kasuga's abuse was invisible too#and the idea of not sacrificing yourself for your parents is COUNTER to what you're supposed to do#i am just VERY EMOTIONAL right now#i love kasuga so much and it was rough to see her going through it but i am SO HAPPY that she's accepted and loved
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