#thank you for asking i'm doing fine

[muchtodoonterror]

I do not understand and am slightly offended by the fanon I come across depicting Solomon Tozer as dumb or stupid. He just isn't.

There are different kinds of intelligence. Just because he hasn't studied like a midshipmen or officer, that only makes him uneducated at worst. He clearly has interpersonal and emotional intelligence which are not to be sniffed at when you have that many men trapped together in harrowing circumstances.

As he is tending to Heather, he very specifically is describing one of the ongoing scientific experiments. That indicates not just that he's paying attention but that he finds it interesting and noteworthy. He could very easily have been talking about anything, about shipboard gossip or relating old adventures, but he's relating what he‘s picked up of the ship's science.

I'm sure one of the reasons he's depicted thusly is his poor choice in joining up with Hickey and subsequent doubling down on that choice. That is a topic for another essay but my point here is: grief empirically affects one's ability to process and make decisions. Tozer is arguably one of the most grief stricken men on board. They've all suffered losses, but being widowed (if we're taking the real Tozer's biography into account), with witnessing the deaths of Bryant and Sir John, with Heather, with Fairholme's party, with Morfin - he is not just grieving these losses but often feeling a direct responsibility for them. One of these alone is enough to impact his ability to make rational decisions, and as they pile up? And that's not even factoring in the effects of scurvy.

In conclusion, leave my boy alone; he's not dumb, he's just grief-stricken and doing his best.

[lizardkingeliot]

Hoooo boy okay let's do this. 2x06 was a goddamn doozy, you guys. There was a very strong theme here throughout the episode of makers and fledglings being able to feel one another through their shared blood even when they can't read each other's minds. Louis says he can feel Madeleine is out of town because she is his fledgling. Likewise, Madeleine calls out the fact that she can feel Louis after acknowledging she can't read his mind. But there's something else happening here too....

She looks to Armand. Says she can feel Louis' love for him through their blood. Then calls out the fact that... Louis won't tell him? Only... Louis HAS told Armand "I love you". That was a pretty important element of 2x04. The casual way he said it with the vision of Lestat laughing at the bedside all the while. The one Louis actually couldn't say it to...

Was Lestat. We all remember, but just in case anyone forgot...

But what does Madeleine ascribe this feeling to? Why does she think she can FEEL Louis loving Armand? Because of the blood they share. The blood they share that comes from Lestat. The blood Claudia didn't want Madeleine to have BECAUSE it's Lestat's. The episode did a really great job of reminding us about the blood bonds and just what it means to have a connection to your maker. And when that maker is also your lover..... hoooooo boy.........

Anyway. The love. The blood. The bond with your maker. I can understand why Madeleine would be confused about the love Louis is feeling. She sees Louis with Armand. She assumes they're in love. She doesn't realize...

Her maker is sitting there thinking about his own maker the entire time. To the point he almost quotes him word for word before he stops himself...

And of course he's thinking about Lestat. He's just become a maker himself. Why WOULDN'T he be thinking about Lestat? Even after saying goodbye to Dreamstat, he can't get Lestat out of his mind. Even after becoming a shadow of who he used to be. Someone cold and distant. He's trying so hard, but it's never going to work. He's never going to be able to shove Lestat away completely. And he's certainly never going to be capable of loving Armand in the way Armand desperately wants Louis to love him. Because while Armand might say he belongs to Louis. If you ask Louis if he belongs to Armand, well...

And honestly... I feel so horrible for Armand here. Because there's nothing he could have done that would have made this particular outcome any different. He never stood a chance. Louis and Lestat are bonded not only in their blood but in their hearts and their souls. Lestat was not only Louis' maker but the love of his life. His first love. The first man he ever allowed himself true intimacy with. The one he shared a coffin with. The one he shares a heart with. Louis is trying so hard to be who he was before Lestat, someone closed off and cold. But he cannot sever the bond in their blood and in their hearts with all the coldness in the world...

Which leads me to wonder... did the love Madeleine detect in Louis not only have to do with his blood bond with Lestat/the fact that he was thinking about Lestat the whole time, but also the fact that Lestat was already in Paris? Could Louis feel it? Was he aware of feeling that innate connection but was so determined to make himself a hardened shell of who he once was that he just brushed it of? Thought it was residual grief? Is that why his visions of Lestat before he banished him in 2x04 were so vivid? Because Lestat was in Paris for years, and despite not really knowing that, Louis felt it all the same?

Anyway. Moving on. Circling back to Armand and Louis and the topic of love. When they're discussing Armand not being aware of what Santiago was truly up to, Armand blames being distracted on being in love and Louis just... outright scoffs at the idea?

We sure are a long way from "meet the vampire Armand, the love of my life" territory this deep into season 2, that's for sure. And sure, in Dubai Louis is feeling bitter and doesn't trust Armand for many reasons this particular post aren't about. But even looking back on it, on the time that should have been their honeymoon phase before it all went to shit, Louis just... doesn't see love there. Or at least not being In Love. Because the only one Louis was in love with in Paris was his maker. The one he was bonded to in blood.

And the one he's about to have to sit on a stage with next week and never once be permitted to touch. Never once be permitted a moment of truth with. But the bond is still going to be there. They'll still feel each other's hearts, beating as one with their shared blood. And we have to assume after that... they just never see each other again after Paris? And just thinking on that point alone... it truly is no wonder Louis is still so unwell in Dubai. Locked away in his tower that is his prison that is his forgetting. I wasn't sure I believed Armand when he said Louis asked him to take the memory of San Francisco away from him. But I think I actually do? It makes sense. That he would want to forget something like that. And it also makes me wonder...

What else did Louis want to forget? And how much of that forgetting is related to this agonizing, unbreakable blood bond he shares with Lestat? I truly have no clue how far they're going to take this, so I guess we'll just have to wait to find out...

[astracora]

sylus reading poetry.. sylus reading poetry and his voice cracking on 'if i were to bury my heart within your sweet lips'. sylus fighting back emotions while he reads poetry that hits too close to home...

[darqx]

Honestly I'm rather out of the loop on this (since judging by the asks it happened like a week ago) and not sure why you'd ask for my opinion on it but ok. As I'm not particularly a fan of drama and also not really keen on playing a giant game of Telephone, my first (and probably final) outlook on this is literally like

art by bamsara.tumblr.com

Oh wait a final note - if I know anything about online drama culture though, it's that if there IS drama then some people are going to use it as an excuse to be assholes to other people. If you are engaging in such behaviour I would suggest that you think about whether you would want such actions to be done against you, and if not, don't do it to other people.

[teddybeartoji]

the new year has started kind of horribly for me i haven't felt this bad in while😭😭😭😭 but . i am feeling a bit better today so that's good i suppose AAANYWAYY i just wanted to say that i miss you and that i love you aaand that i hope you're all doing good i hope you're all having fun<3333333333

[sarahlancashire]

fully obsessed with the way carla has just stepped into the role of betsy's other mother unannounced & uninvited

[captain-judd]

We're 100% getting a Buck and Eddie confrontation like the grocery store with the added heap of 'Do you know what Christopher really wants? How would you, you won't ask him' that will parallel the real thing Shannon called Eddie out for. Things are gonna get MESSY!

PLEASE IT'D BE SO GOOD. buck deserves to be the one yelling at someone else for doing something stupid! show me buck being the one with the wisdom! show me buck knowing what christopher wants! buck understanding what's good for him! i love confrontation actually 🤭 the beauty of buck and eddie is that they can be real with each other, and my god does eddie need someone to be so fucking real with him right now

[irritablepoe]

for the record i don't think you are manipulative but is there anything wrong with embracing manipulating if it isn't bad intentions?

I mean I obv don't have bad intentions whether I do it or not. Manipulation is generally getting someone to do sth without openly saying what your intentions are (I think that's the definition right?) - which could be applied to literally anything, so it's not inherently bad ofc. sometimes I do feel like I'm begging for attention or reassurance, ig I'm being pretty open about my intentions then but still ugh I wish I could be cheerful and engaging instead of feeling like I'm squeezing the sympathy out of people to engage with my sad ass, but then again it's an easy way to let off steam, especially when I'm feeling angry or I have to get out my self-hating thoughts. Idk how bad all that is.. probably pretty unhealthy still even though I'm practically not ill-intentioned but dude idk😔

[cheesomancer]

COME BACK

who's here?? anyhoo thank you for these intent and powerful asks (i took a wild guess those were sent by the same person), I feel wanted. i'm cooking at the moment and hope you won't be disappointed...

[dukeofthomas]

jason thinks he should be dead (sometimes he thinks he IS dead), he's just what crawled out of jason todd's grave but he IS jason todd why cant you see that im still the same person. but im not who i used to be and you have to accept i'm different now but i'm still the same bc i'm still your son and your brother and your friend but i'm not 15 anymore (but i am i never grew up i'm still stuck in that warehouse watching the seconds count down the joker is still laughing and i'm still in pain and broken and bloody and beaten and the warehouse is everything and i'm 15 i'm 15 i'm 15) i'm an adult now i'm not a sweet lil daddy's kid anymore i've grown up (i haven't. do you remember when i played with legoes? when we went to football matches togetehr? when you drove me to school and called me chum and smiled at me gently and put your hand around my shoulder and squeezed? i loved you.) when you look at me all you see is who i used to be, you don't see ME, you just see who i used to be and i can never measure up to that, i can never be as good or kind or gentle or loving as the ghost of me that lives in your brain, but when i look in the mirror my eyes are dead like a fish's and my corpse is still in the ground and i'm not breathing because my insides are decayed and gone but i'm still standing here like a zombie, like a bad dream, like a fraction of who i used to be because i'm dead and i'm 15 and i never grew up but i'm somehow still an adult and how dare you not see me for who i am because i'm still the same but i'm still different but aren't i your son? am i at least still your son? you took me in and you loved me and you cared for me and you were my father my god my everything? i'm still your son. i'm still your son. i'm still your son.

Do you love me? Can you prove you love me? Can you prove i meant anything and can you prove my death was real?

(I love you. Please say it back.)

[oldbutchdanielcraig]

what is Your take on the show possibly doing past dm in its entirety like how do you think it could be carried out cause i feel like everyone's main gripes are that it'll somehow fuck w the show's integrity/daniel couldn't possibly have forgotten Everything/it doesn't make sense with the storyline we currently have. i'm v curious as someone who loves the direction the show is taking but also wants to see assad and lbf devil their minions

first of all it's a little crazy to me that it could fuck with the show's integrity when the show in question is literally the "memory is a monster" show. like. regardless how you feel about the fact that the show did this they literally spent the last episode going "yeah the guy you think is the villain actually isn't, and everybody just fucking forgot or didn't know to begin with. which is how he got away with it." and keep in mind the villain in question is the guy who has been consistently erasing everybody's memories for fun and his own personal gain. so like. i think the show will survive if they introduce a romance b-plot and do so by saying "yup! daniel forgot before because armand made him!" anyway.

the one thing i'm curious about is the fact that in the books devil's minion era is intrinsically linked with lestat's show and akasha and so on and so forth. which it won't be in the show to the same degree because lestat isn't a rockstar in 1985. and by the time he is daniel is already a vampire. so it'll be interesting to see if that somehow is the defining factor of if/how they do it.

in terms of daniel and armand's relationship though i think it works really well? like i think it's very easy to say that in 1985 armand wiped daniel's memories instead of made him a vampire. i love the idea that night island happens, then daniel starts running away, and there's some overlap with his relationship with alice and armand. very easy for armand to see daniel in a near-death OD type situation and say yeah, nope, this is not happening again, we're breaking up and you can't remember me. (the breakup could happen a bunch of different ways also which maybe they'll go with! but i'm just sticking as close to book canon as i can rn) i think the trajectory of the relationship could stay just about the same. i think the one potential difference is like. well what happens after 1985? which is why i've really come to like the idea that in show verse there's the possibility of armand visiting daniel throughout the years until dubai happens. this potentially is where things get goofy, like. armand just restoring and deleting daniel's memories over and over again kind of like a cartoon villain. but iiiii like it for the fact that it implies armand can't stay away from him. and they'll be in love forever. i could probably talk about this forever but to sum it up like yeah. i think it could very realistically work. i think whatever they do will be compelling to me but i do feel just a little bit you can pry 70s-80s devil's minion out of my cold dead hands

[delimeful]

Hey so sorry if this is rude but I really love your writing and am just wondering why you don’t post from your patreon to tumblr very often? Many of the posts have been there months without being posted here? I’d love to be in a place where I can financially support you but sadly am not, but still would love to read some more of your wonderful stories!

there's not a particular reason other than my current schedule has been keeping me offline and exhausted for a while. there'll probably be a fic update sometime soon

my patrons are the reason that i was able to afford groceries these past few months, so my priority is always to make sure that i'm posting new chapters on patreon in a timely manner & that they have access to exclusive content (bonus chapters, original works, etc.). updating this blog is something i can do when i have the time and energy to spare. lately i haven't had either of those ^^"

i appreciate that you enjoy the stories, but i can't promise a consistent update schedule for my free content at the moment. maybe once i'm in a more financially stable place i'll be able to post more regularly. for now, my goal is to upload here at least once a month, but i might not always meet that goal

[necrotic-nephilim]

6,23

for the choose violence ask game!

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

oooh, this is hard. generally any sort of "fans of this thing are annoying" for me comes with the caveat that i don't think it's *all* fans and i don't even think it's most fans, but rather a loud minority that has shaped the ship as a whole. for some reason JayRoy tends to come to mind the most, because i've been slowly dipping my toes into the Arrowfamily and i cannot *stand* any JayRoy opinions on Oliver's parenting. i think JayRoy can be blamed for a *lot* of the misunderstandings some fans have about Oliver and Roy's relationship, as well as the existence of the Arrowfam in the first place beyond just Oliver, Roy, Dinah, and inexplicably Artemis Crock, bc Young Justice (tv) will never stop leaving its mark.

any time someone gets shipped with a Batfam member, their entire fandom presence surrounds the Batfamily and headcanons are all about Bruce adopting them too and them just being another face in Wayne Manor. and for whatever reason, Roy is one of the worst victims of this. so much JayRoy content doesn't even care to acknowledge Roy's bonds with the Arrowfam, his *daughter*, his complex relationship with Chesire, his relationship with the Titans and the Outsiders, and so forth. he's just Jason's rescue boyfriend. if i have to see one more JayRoy fan act like Bruce needs to save Roy from Oliver and they badly cite Snowbirds Don't Fly, i might lose it.

i think this could also extend to TimKon as well, with a *lot* of TimKon fans not understanding Kon's relationship to the Superfamily and *grossly* demonizing Clark for the sake of Kon being Tim's rescue boyfriend. like the misunderstandings fanon has about Clark and Kon will never not infuriate me, and i *do* think TimKon carries a brunt of that blame bc it falls into the "Kon is another orphan that Bruce takes in" vibes.

23. ship you've unwillingly come around to

JayRose i think is a recent one! i used to dislike JayRose bc it felt underdeveloped and like slapping two characters with daddy issues together, but i've lately been more and more enticed by it bc of a beloved anon who has so many delightful JayTimRose thoughts. ironically i could also say JayRoyTim, bc initially it was not my speed but once again, some anons have begrudgingly convinced me, which is impressive bc i never thought i would come around to a ship involving JayRoy for all of the above reasons. i've also been coming around to BatJokes as of recent. i never hated BatJokes but it was certainly never For Me. lately though, that faith has been questioned and i've been interested in it.

the one i've been very unwilling to but have somehow gotten dragged into is JayTalia. i was always turned off by how that was handled in Lost Days and hated the pairing. but... i've been enticed by the dead dove potential of it. i'm being converted. to be fair i still think it was mishandled in Lost Days but... i'm sort of coming around to enjoying it for what it is. idk how i ended up here but i will take any excuse to whump Jason.

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

Hit 50k on the rarepair fic.

[jojo-schmo]

Hello ms bubble wizard mage maam', I was just wondering what are your thoughts on magolor regarding how he's apparently **highly aware** of all characters to ever exist in the kirbyverse

Also its become a trend where god is replaced with NOVA in the expressions... Do they know?

Ello ello!

I like Magolor a lot, but he is omniscient? That's news to me. Is there a source for that? :O Unless you're talking about that Magoverse trend I saw floating around a while back- I didn't see much but what I did encounter reminded me of all the different Sans Undertale AUs out there. Hehehe Magolor is quite versatile! What fun.

And I know people use Nova as an expletive when writing Kirby characters! It's cool!

I use profanity in real life but I personally try to not associate Kirby characters with it in the works I make. I want to diversify the vernacular of the citizens of Popstar so I made a small list of expletives I thought of, lol. They should have a variety of things to yell out when they stub their feet or an apple falls on their head! So I get randomly inspired out in the world and I make sure to write them down!

I remember seeing someone have the characters use expletives based on food, like for example, "For the love of shortcake!" or things like that. That idea's fun!! (If you are the person who had this headcanon and are reading this please tell me so I can credit you for it!)

Does anyone else have expletives/exclamations they write for Kirby characters? Please share them if you do heehee. It makes the world building feel more fleshed out and creative >:3

[tenspontaneite]

hii, i am so curious about what you thought of tdp s7

Hi! I haven't engaged with tdp material since S4 on purpose, since I've learned I don't do well being a creator in fandoms whose canon is so actively updating. I'll binge all of tdp and catch up on everything eventually, but it might be a while, and I'd like to ask for strictly no spoilers for anything since S4 until then! I'm great at avoiding spoilers on my own but if people send them to me I can't really avoid that :P

(thank you for being so spoiler free in your ask btw, appreciate it!)