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Almost, Always
â„ â„ Â Â Â Â Â Joseph Quinn x Fem!ReaderÂ
Summary:Â Happy endings aren't for everyone, so it seems, but that doesn't mean that you can't stop trying for one. Question is, are you actually star-crossed lovers that can figure something out, or just absolutely blind to reality and really fucking stupid?
CW / disclaimer: rpf, fem!reader, language, adult themes, smut, cheating
Authorâs note: i want to thank @lfdybadgirlsdiw again, bc she sent in a small request that mentioned 'former lovers that keep going back to each other, even if they are seeing other people' which then sparked this whole story into existence đ€ i also want to sincerely apologise to all the girls that have reached out and taught me that none of us lead unique lives (which in this case is terrible, but also, really comforting) thank you for reading! i hope you enjoy this last part, and i'd love to hear your thoughts!
Wordcount: 7.2K
part one - part two - part three - part four - part five
The world felt muted. Dull, and empty. Deeply hollow, and completely void of colour.
There was only so much shit a person could take before enough was enough, and finally, after accepting the bare minimum from Joe for far too long, you decided you no longer wanted it.
The sky hung heavy, and the beginnings of what would eventually feel like an endless winter promised to keep the mood low and bleak for the rest of the season. There was an under-skin discomfort only the passing of time was going to be able to shed.
You broke up with Joe.
It fucking sucked. There was confusion, and deep hurt. Anger. Defeat.
And yet, you felt weirdly proud of yourself.
âItâd be better for you to leave him.â Emily had told you time and time again. Finally, youâd listened. You knew she was going to be so proud, which gave a small sense of relief.
Everything else felt bleak, though. Like time had stopped on the moment of impact. Hands of the clock frozen in time, forever showing the point at which it truly landed for Joe.
Joe hadnât felt like this for a long time. Didnât know if he had ever felt like this before, if he was honest. There was a difficulty in processing the shock, in accepting there was even a shock to begin with, but he knew you were right. It was why he couldnât stop saying it.
âDonât feel bad, youâre right. Youâre right.â
It felt wrong to be right, and you didnât want to be right ever again if this is what itâd be like.
The little sliver of pride inside of you wasnât getting the attention it deserved in the moment, but that was okay. Youâd get to it later. And maybe, one day, Joe would too.
âWill you,â Joe broke the silence, voice hoarse and throat in pain. He cleared it, which didnât help much, and hopefully finished, âWill you stay the night?â
Youâd been sat in the quiet dark for quite a while, just listening to each other breathe. It started with Joe perched on the very edge of his sofa, leg shaking as he tried to come to terms with what you were saying.
Youâd sat down next to him then, and heâd immediately pulled you close, hands gripping and trying their best to hold onto whatever there was for him to hold onto still.
Just was a shame there wasnât much left for him to grasp.
âI donât think I should.â
You wanted to.
Badly.
But you genuinely didnât think that would be a good idea.
You felt how Joe shifted a little, arms moving to wrap you up differently from how they had been. He was unsure of how to hold you, but tried his best to find a way that made you want to stay.
âYea. No⊠youâre right. You probably shouldnâtâŠâ
If you werenât absolutely determined, the soft brokenness of Joeâs voice wouldâve made you give in instantly.
âBut will you?â Joe tried again.
âJoeâŠâ
âI know, I know, please, donâtâŠâ Joe faltered. There were a lot of things Joe didnât want you to do. Please donât say it. Please donât repeat yourself.
Please donât leave.
There was a stillness that had taken over the room - the world - when Joe realised that you werenât joking. A stillness where even the wind outside hesitated to stir. You werenât saying shit just to get a reaction out of him. You werenât trying to get him to say words you wanted him to say. Youâd been serious from the second youâd walked into Joeâs flat, and Joe felt stupid how he had just⊠immediately dismissed you. How he hadnât even really listened as you spoke to him.
It had been a few days since youâd seen each other, and youâd secretly been collecting and saving bravery. Youâd avoided Joe for a few days whilst you kept busy, storing all the courage you could find in a secret spot inside of your body, waiting for it to be enough to drive you into just fucking saying it already.
Joe hadnât questioned the stupid excuses youâd come up with to not see him a couple of nights in a row. Hadnât questioned it at all, didnât seem to really care about it either, which only added to your valour. To the âhe doesnât even give a shitâ narrative that you needed to believe with your full heart, because if you didnât, you wouldnât have decided to spontaneously text him, âon my way overâ before flying out the door.
If you could stop your hands from shaking, thatâd be great, but you were going to do this. You were going to ride this wave of determination, without or with a shaking body.
When you stepped into Joeâs flat, sick with nerves and heavy tension, Joe was hunched over a messy open drawer of a side cupboard.
âHave you seen my earphones? Wired ones?â he rummaged through with both hands.
No hi. No hello. No Iâve not seen you in days, come here, let me kiss you silly.
Have you seen my earphones.
The real important stuff.
âMy wireless ones, the left bud has stopped charging itselfâŠâ
And you knew exactly where Joeâs wired earphones were.
For a second, you debated giving in. Debated using this as your out. Debated smiling, rolling your eyes all fondly, being the helpful girl Joe needed in this moment. It was tempting to forcibly forget about the one sentence youâd repeated inside of your mind over and over and over again since youâd walked out your door.
Fingers rubbed over the hems of your sleeves as you stood in the doorway still, and you felt where youâd rubbed literal holes into the fabric.Â
âPay a fucking fortune for nice ones and still, itâs the same bullshit, nice or not, itâsâŠâ Joe finally turned his head to look at you when you remained silent. He watched you for a second before he stood up straight.
âHey⊠you okay?â he frowned, hands fiddling with whatever junk heâd found instead of what he was looking for.
âI donât⊠I donât think Iâm very happy anymoreâŠâ
There.
The words were out.
Youâd said them, and even though youâd expected the world to maybe crack open and for everything to immediately go to absolute shit... nothing happened.
But youâd said the words, and the tiniest littlest speck of gratification popped up inside of your chest.
You had to actively remember how to breathe, but if youâd leave right now, at least you had said those words.
âAll right,â Joe frowned a little, and cast his eyes back down to whatever his hands were doing. âWhat needs changing then? You can turn the heating up, if you want.â
Joeâs casual dismissal felt sharp as a blade, severing any hope of fixing this. Of saving it. It was completely mismatched to how tense you felt.
âNo, Iâm notâŠâ you felt your knees shake as Joe continued rummaging. Suddenly, you were way more nervous to say those exact same words once again. âIâm not happy. Anymore.â You had to swallow straight after, mouth dry, tongue thick.
âAll right,â Joe made an annoyed face at a random electrical wire he found, and continued, âSo what needs changing then?â
His slight annoyance fed everything bad inside. Joe was unknowingly coaxing you into the exact right headspace for what needed doing.
âThis.â
Joe still wasnât looking at you.
âThis what?â
Part of you wanted to show your frustration. The anger. Wanted to clench your fists and exhale roughly through flared nostrils to show him, to make him see. You wish you wanted to raise your voice and fight. But the unrelenting defeat of the moment rooted itself deeper inside of your body. The lack of care coming from Joe, the attention he wasnât giving you, the dismissal of what youâd just told him, because his wired earphones were obviously so much more important than you were... it all combined into nothing more than a simple shrug.
You remained calm, protectively flat, and just⊠shrugged.
âThis.â
You repeated yourself once more, and when Joe didnât even seem to properly hear you, you looked at the open door that lead to the hallway which had his bedroom at the end of it.
You knew where Joeâs wired earphones were.
What followed were slow and measured footsteps that carried you over into Joeâs bedroom where you found the wired earphones in one of his bedside tables before you slowly made your way back over to him.
With a soft hand, you reached for one of his and held it in yours, palm up, to place the earphones into.
âOh! Where did you findââ
âI think I need to stop thinking that things are going to ever be differentâŠâ
You looked Joe in the eye, and it was like he only then noticed what he was looking at. Like the earphones being found closed a chapter, and now there was attention for you and, oh, you didnât look very happy.
âItâs never going to be different⊠is it?â
You looked very sad, actually.
Sort of drained of life.
Really tired.
âHey, are you all right?â Joe discarded his earphones to the side and grabbed hold of one of your elbows, pulling you a little closer.
âThings arenât going to ever be different, are they?â
You saw how Joe copied the knit of your eyebrows, face going from a little confused to very suddenly filled with deep worry.
âWait, what do you mean?â
âLike, with us. This.â You stepped back, just slightly, creating distance.
âAre you⊠are you being serious right now?â And Joe stepped forward, moving right along with you to close that distance again.
âI think...â you sighed, eyes closed but back straight and chin up. Strong. âI think I need a change.â
âBaby⊠a change like what? What are you talking about?â
One of Joeâs hands cupped your cheek, thumb pushing underneath your jaw, taking the weight of your whole head as he tipped your head just right for eye-contact.
âJoe, Iâm not⊠this isnât what I want.â
âMe?â
No.
âUs.â
âOhâŠâ
Joeâs eyes moved between yours, searching for the slightest little bit of softness you still had for him.
He found it easily.
âIâm sorry.â
But he hadnât expected the compassion there to be sympathy and pity for the situation you were placing Joe into.
At first, thereâd been a surge of angry confusion. Of Joe stepping back and jokingly accusing you of being daft. Of telling you that your heart had frozen over because he probably hadnât turned the heating up high enough. He asked if youâd eaten. If maybe youâd been drinking. Anything to make sense of what was going on, of why youâd walked into his flat on a random evening to tell him things he didnât want to hear.
Then, thereâd been yelling. Hurried large steps got paced around his living room, his arms flying about in unrestrained wild gestures. âYou keep referring to past mistakes! You always say you forgive and forget, but youâre not forgetting shit!â, âHave you been hanging outâ did you just come straight over from Emily? Has she been planting shit into your brain that youâ you canât actually be fucking serious right now!â, âGod, this is so fucking annoying! Youâre being annoying!â, âAre you sure this is what you want to do? The worst. Just the fucking worst!â. Joeâs voice went up as he screamed, cracking when he got too passionate, and you wished that had been new information to you.
Eventually, thereâd been a weird composed faux acceptance that felt like a manipulative tranquility that Joe adapted to simply show you that you didnât actually want what you were asking for. A childish, âFine, Iâll give you what you want, see how it sucks?!â just to prove to you that you were wrong.
When you didnât budge, and it all finally really landed, everything changed.
Joe turned soft.
Went from frantic movements to suddenly sighing the deepest sigh heâd ever sighed to slowly making his way over to you, hesitating slightly when moving in to hug you, but then going for a full both-arm-tight-wrap-up when you didnât flinch away.
After about a minute of tightly embracing, you heard Joe sniff close to your ear, and you realised he was crying.
âJoe, Iâm sorry, Iââ
âNo, no.â Joe pulled back, used his sleeve to quickly wipe at his face before going, âNo, look at me. Look. Youâre right. Iâm the one- no, look. Iâm the one whoâs sorry. Iâm sorry. Donâtâ youâre right, youâreâŠâ Joe moved both his hands into his hair, a flash of panic, and had to take a few steps as he inhaled deeply.
âYouâre not annoying.â
You saw how his jaw clenched. How he rapidly blinked to keep further tears at bay.
âI donât know whyâŠâ Joe started, sitting down on the edge of his sofa as he rubbed a hand across his face. âIt just⊠it never even occurred to me that you had the option to⊠to go anywhere. But youâre right.â
You didnât care about being right. It didnât feel nice to be right about something so devastating.
Looking at Joe, broken boy unsure of where to steer his thoughts and his emotions, you knew this wasnât what you wanted. This wasnât what youâd envisioned for the both of you. But, to be fair, almost nothing about what youâd become together had come about because youâd envisioned it that way.
You moved to sit down next to Joe and got immediately taken a hold of.
âWill you stay the night?â
âI donât think I should.â
âYea. No⊠youâre right. You probably shouldnât... but, will you?â
âJoeâŠâ you couldnât tell him you would. Couldnât reply with the âI willâ he wanted from you.
âI know, I know, please... donâtâŠâ
If you werenât going to stay the night, at least Joe would have this. Long quiet minutes, sat on his sofa together. Touching. Staring into nothingness. The longer he could keep you there, the better.
He found new ways to hug.
Different ways to hold.
Arms moved, swiped, squeezed and felt, mapping your every inch in a desperate bid to remember.
Joe took hold of the back of your neck in the exact way he knew you liked, thumb pressing into the dip at the base of your skull, rubbing small circles there.
And you gave him that.
Gave him this moment, frozen in time, just before youâd eventually walk out without plans of ever returning.
âYou do know,â Joe started off, voice barely there in a whisper, words pressed into the skin just behind your ear. âYou know that I really do love you, donât you?â
And the world shattered.
The first real and sincere I love you that youâd ever gotten from him.
That wasnât meant to hurt like it did.
âYou know that right?â
All you could do was give a small nod that Joe felt with his face as you fought with all of your being to not burst into tears.
âI love you.â
The cruelest goodbye present you hadnât asked for, thrusted into your lap at the worst possible time, and you had no other choice than to just simply accept it.
âYea... love you, too.â
You can see him in the reflection of the window that the treadmills are aimed at, leisurely strolling into your line of sight. Towel over his shoulder, wearing his grey hoodie, wired earphones already in his ears, and eyes on his phone as he seems to sort through a playlist.
Itâs been a day.
One single day.
One day since youâd woken up on his sofa.
One day since youâd said yes to a morning coffee that you probably shouldnât have said yes to.
One day since youâd called the guy in your flat and had to explain why youâd left him in your bed on his own in the middle of the night.
One day since Joe sat across the table from you, coffee in hand, and listened to you stutter through vague excuses.
One day since youâd groaned at yourself for being so fucking stupid, and asked Joe, âWhat the fuck are we doing...â
One day since heâd shrugged and regretfully told you he wished he had an answer to that question.
To all of your questions, for that matter.
Joe showing up to your gym isnât coincidental. It simply canât be. It makes no sense for Joe to go to the gym thatâs right around the corner from your flat.
Thereâs also no way he hasnât seen you.
Thereâs not a chance he doesnât know youâre here.
This is what Joe does, what he did just a short while ago, and he goes about it in almost the exact same way.
His slow pace gives him away.
The fact that he stops just as he has passed you, giving the free treadmill next to yours a quick glance as if heâs only just decided, yea I can do a bit of cardio here, why not, gives him away.
The moment his fucking awful purple pumas touch the machine next to you, you stop looking at him in the reflection. Eyes straight ahead. You keep them firmly trained on yourself instead, and keep a steady pace.
Yea. You hate the gym.
But youâre here to work out, and work out only.
Not to socialise.
Not to potentially run into someone.
Not to prove to someone, to anyone, that youâre a person that goes to the gym now.
No.
Youâre there to work out. Guilt has been slowly eating at you until the anxiety of it all, the extreme criticism aimed at yourself, became too much and physical exercise seemed like the only healthy way out.
The only healthy way through.
Youâre working out to feel better about yourself, about the choices that youâve made, and you fucking hate every single second of it. But, youâre only about halfway through what youâd set out to do, and the plan is to fucking finish it. To do the full routine, no ifs ands or buts.
From your peripheral vision, you can see how Joe turns the machine on and how he throws the screen of yours an obvious glance.
Then, he sets the speed to just a little faster than yours.
Idiot.
For a little while itâs easy to ignore him. Makes sense, since youâve gotten a lot of practice over the years. You could look right through him if you wanted to, face blank, eyes all hollow. Sometimes that was just what he deserved, and you remember how it always felt shockingly good to push his buttons by simply pretending he wasnât there.
Youâre an expert in driving this man insane.
But driving him insane isnât the end goal here â instead itâs trying to hold yourself together, to harden yourself just enough, to not let him drive you insane.
So you ignore him.
Focus on your breathing. The whirring of the treadmill. The miles youâve already run. How may more you have to go. Your own heartrate. The position of your feet.
Left. Right. Left. Right.
Breathe in, in.
Breathe out, out.
God, you fucking hate running, but thereâs something that itches you about the fact that Joe put the speed of his treadmill a half mile per hour faster than yours.
And itâs not a fair race â which is what this fucking is now: a race â because heâs just wandered in and youâve been going for a while already.
But maybe thatâs actually good.
This guyâs not warmed up. Just got on the treadmill and started bolting.
Idiot.
It doesnât take long for Joeâs breathing to pick up. For it to become audible to you, and you know heâs not going to be able to keep this up much longer.Â
Just when you think Joeâs going to reach over and lower the speed of his treadmill, you decide to double down on this inevitable win and press the plus button twice.
Twice.
And fuck, you immediately regret it. The burn in your legs is merciless. An unforgiving persistent ache, yet the burn in your lungs is worse.
In, in. Out, out. In, in. Out, out.
Some of the sweat thatâs dripping down your face gets stopped by your eyebrows, yet some also gets past and goes straight into your eyes, but fuck off, youâre winning.
You can do this.
You can pretend you just wanted to run extra fast for a minute. Maybe two.
Four minutes.
You manage four minutes before your start getting scared your legs are going to turn into actual jelly. For fear of tripping over your own feet and launching yourself backwards across the gym floor, you have to slow it down.
The second you do, Joe does as well.
It feels like your lungs have forgotten how to absorb oxygen, but youâre walking, and itâs fine. You did slow down your treadmill before Joe did, but you ran faster than him and, all together, ran for much longer, so itâs a win.
Youâve won.
Youâll die on this hillâ you won and Joe lost and he is a loser.
Thereâs another moment where you can see Joe glance over, and even though youâre both at a walking pace, he still goes to adjust his speed so itâs higher than yours. Then, he removes his earphones.
Time to acknowledge his presence.
âYou donât go to this gym.â You manage to say before Joe gets a chance to get a word in.
Shit, youâre panting.
âI donât?â But so is Joe. âWeird place for me to be then.â
You give him a look.
âWhy are you here?â
Joe pulls a face he always pulls when heâs about to make a joke. Itâs a stern face thatâs hiding a smile so well, it just looks like heâs a frowning asshole.
âHmm. Why... am I here?â he repeats seriously, pensive, like the answer escapes him. Then he looks around and uses an arm to showcase the gym heâs in, like itâs obvious heâs there to work out. It makes you feel like heâs making fun of you, which immediately stirs up animosity inside you.
âWell,â you start collecting your things. Towel, water bottle, phone. âGood luck. Get swole, or whatever.â
And youâre off.
âIâll see you for a coffee, after!â Joe calls after you, and when you turn your head, you see him smirk as he wipes his towel across his forehead.
âNo thanks!â you make yourself sound as polite and upbeat as you can whilst turning him down.
Joe watches you walk away, past some of the rowing machines, and he sees how other guys glance a look at you.
He doesnât blame them.
If heâs honest, he doesnât really know what heâs doing here, just that he wants to be near you. If that means going over to yours unannounced just to see you cross the street and enter the gym, rushing back home to get his own kit and making his way back over to get a guest pass, and then super casually accidentally ending up on a treadmill next to you, well, then... thatâs what heâll do.
Joe doesnât know what heâs doing.
What youâre doing.
Why heâs been excited every time heâs seen you over the past couple of months. Why heâs been sad every time you parted ways again.
He doesnât know why you keep coming back after you ended it all, but what he does know is that it must mean that itâs not over.
Not fully.
Thereâs a door there, still open enough for him to squeeze through, and yesterday, he realised he would actually rather hurt himself whilst struggling to get through your door, than pick any of the other doors that girls are holding wide open for him.
Joe watches you make your way over to the weight machines and you decide to pretend Joeâs not really there. Decide to pretend that thereâs not something dangerously delightful about seeing Joe all sweaty and out of breath.
You get on with your work out routine.
Do the leg press for a bit. Some leg curls. Some extensions.
Nothing for the arms.
You have no upper body strength, and Joeâs watching. Youâre very much doing your best to pretend heâs not there, but, you still find yourself secretly checking if youâre being watched.
And you are.
You ignore the furious blush on your cheeks and tell yourself itâs just because your exercising. The heat you feel in your face is just there because youâre moving. Sâgot nothing to do with Joe, whoâs in your peripheral vision the whole time.
Heâs strategically moving across the gym floor, standing in front of mirrors that reflect the best views of you, and yea, sure, heâs holding weights in both his hands, but heâs not really doing much, is he? Heâll curl an arm up every couple of seconds, but thereâs barely any effort there.
Which makes sense.
Joeâs busy watching.
Heâs watching you work out as discretely as he can.
He knows youâre aware of it too. Knows youâre following his whereabouts. Sees you check over your shoulder a little more often than seems normal to check your surroundings. Knows youâre having the absolute worst time because you hate physical exercise like this, but he watches as you power through.
Watches as you seem to finish up.
Watches you leave for the changing rooms, and he quickly does the same. Drops the weights he was still holding right where heâs standing and rushes to get his things because he wants to be ready and waiting by the door when you walk out.
Youâre faster than expected.
Joeâs only just left the menâs changing rooms, zipping up his jacket, when he sees you emerge from the womenâs.
You see him too.
Of course you do.
But you look right past him as you leave the building, and Joe has to scramble to get the door before it smacks him in the face as he follows you out.
âThat was a quick shower.â Joe muses, following your tail.
âI shower at home.â You simply answer, looking for traffic both ways.
âYea? Canât tempt you into getting a quick coffee together somewhere?â
Joe dashes after you as you cross the street and comes to walk next to you.
âIâve got coffee at home.â You dismiss him, but Joe hasnât given up half his morning for you to suddenly use your sound, responsible mind. Not after yesterday.
âOh, great. Even better.â
For whatever reason, even after all the interactions youâve had with Joe post break-up, this feels like the first time it means something. Maybe itâs because itâs been a literal single day since you woke up next to him on his sofa, or maybe itâs because it was a little difficult to look at yourself in the mirror after.
You stop walking abruptly and it takes Joe two whole steps to realise youâre no longer next to him.
âWhat are you...â you falter, brow furrowed as you look at him.
âDoing?â Joe finishes for you, then shrugs. âI donât know. Iâm doing what we doâ what we have been doing.â
He says it so plainly, like thereâs not a million things wrong with that. Like he hadnât invited you over to stay the night at his flat when there was a whole other person in his bed, likely wondering why the fuck she woke up on her own, just like the guy youâd left in yours.
Youâre terrible people, and what Joe is meant to do, is self-loathe in his own time until the feeling has faded enough for a new bout of dumb decisions. You know, like youâre doing.
âYou canât justâ...â
âCanât what?â
Your eyes fall to Joeâs stupid trainers, his faded ugly purple pumas, and you hate how you like that he wore them.
This is never going to be over, is it?
You know with every fibre of your being that you shouldnât.
But, fuck.
You want to.
You really, really want to.
âDonât you feel bad?â you ask, hoping that at least Joe will confirm that youâre not overreacting.
You should feel bad.
The both of you.
Thereâs the slightest moment of introspection from Joe that you see across his face before he smiles at your rosy cheeks and goes, âI do. But not... not about this. What does it matter if I want to go and have a drink with you? Hmm? Who cares about that?â
Well.
Probably that girl that slammed the door of his flat yesterday. And, you also kind of hope that he cares, but itâs difficult to sort through and articulate your thoughts and feelings about that in the moment.
âDo you feel bad?â Joe asks, a hand reaching over to touch you on the arm.
âI feel terrible...â you admit on a heavy exhale. You also feel sweaty and sticky and gross.
âIâm sorry.â
âYea, well... you should be. Because itâs your fault,â you show the slightest of smiles and fall back into step. âAnd because your shoes are ugly.â
Joe watches you walk away for a bit, trying to wrap his head around it. Around you. Finds that he was right before: he just wants to be near you, still.
He just wants to be near you always, actually.
Heâs lucky youâve got the same issue.
Itâs why you let Joe into your flat.
Why the first thing you do when you get in is make Joe a coffee since he was so adamant about having some.
When he sees that youâre not making yourself a cup, he goes and does it for you. Makes you the perfect cup of coffee, exactly how you like it, and you have to really hide how giddy that makes you feel. Canât give away how that means something to you. So instead, you make him laugh when, in lieu of sugar, you slide a salt shaker across the table, just because you think Joe needs to know that heâs welcome here, but that heâs not really... welcome here.
âYouâre so annoying, my God.â Joe shakes his head, fondness practically dripping from the words as he smiles. Heâll make you a million more cups of coffee if it means youâll make him laugh like that.
In turn, you laugh at jokes Joe makes about you going for your shower, telling you that you must be exhausted and heâll gladly help out and hold you up. You know, no big deal, even though he remembers that your shower is small and barely fits two people in.
âWeâll just have to stand really close together.â you quip, joining the bit.
âIt will be so awkward for me, but Iâll self-sacrfice, not a problem.â
You laugh together, and Joe drinks the coffee you made for him, and you drink the coffee that he made for you. Thereâs a moment of silence before you semi-seriously say, âIâm really not meant to have you over.â
Itâs complicated. Itâs fine, but itâs not.
âYea... you probably shouldnât. Youâre right.â Joe flirts. âYouâre right.â
âI donât know what I was expecting though...â you sigh, leaning back in your seat. âWeâre not to be trusted, I donât think...â
Joe eyes you for a short moment, then leans forward a little and carefully says, âYouâre allowed to set your expectations aside every once in a while, you know... we can just enjoy our time. Nothing wrong with that.â
You canât help but smile, because the sentiment is sweet, but unfortunately, it doesnât really work like that. Before you know it, youâll be back right where you were before, kicking yourself over placing yourself back in that same crappy situation.
A grimacing discontented nose-scrunch does all the talking for you.
âAll right,â Joe says on the back-end of a sigh, slapping both legs as he gets up, already heading towards the door. âI know when Iâm not wanted.â
You put an arm out and get a handful of his sleeve before he gets even close to leaving, and Joe turns his head to grin at you like youâd played directly into his trap.
Which, you probably just had done.
Had been doing.
âOh?â Joe startles playfully. âAm I wanted, then?â
The handful of shirt gets pulled into your direction until Joeâs standing really close, and you have to tip your head back all the way to look up at him.
âDo you want to hear me say that I want you?â you challenge his neediness as one of his hands finds your cheek. You know exactly thatâs what he wants to hear.
âIs that hard for you?â he challenges your obduracy right back, thumb softly rubbing the skin under your eye, knowing full well how hard of a time you have with sharing your feelings in the moment.
Itâll never be lost on you how thereâs so little you can hide from one another. Itâs comforting in the most perilous of ways.
It helps that Joe is very upfront about his wants. Heâs in your living room for a reason, which makes it a little easier to admit to a truth you can no longer deny.
You wouldnât have invited him over if you didnât want him here.
Obviously.
Itâs a big ask to set expectations aside in the long-term, but in the short-term, temptation and comfort always seem to win all too easily. Hence the handfull of fabric youâre still holding.
That doesnât meant that Joe deserves the satisfaction of hearing you say that, though.
âNo.â you smile, eyes casting downwards. âBut⊠do you want to know what is hard for me?â
Without any hesitation, you let your hand find the bulge in his jeans, and Joe flinches at the contact, his other hand immediately around your wrist to control your next move, grip tight, like heâs using it to not lose his balance.
âDonât.â
With his eyes shut, he exhales a slow breath.
âOh?â your eyebrows shoot up in the same way his had done earlier. âAm I wrong, then?â
Joe has to bite back a smile, and thereâs a moment where youâre just staring each other down, your hand touching growing parts of Joe, and his hand keeping it right in place. Itâs hard for him to look away from your eyes and the sparkle they look at him with.
Itâs a big ask to set expectations aside... when you havenât really got any to begin with.
Joeâs voice comes out a little gruff when he says, âHow about that shower?â all lowly, giving a slight nod up in question as he bites into his bottom lip.
The only way out seems through.
But, just before you give in all over again, something pipes up in your mind that turns you solemn. Something Joe said the night before.
âYou um...â you swallow thickly and slowly remove your hand from Joeâs jeans. âYou said we werenât the best, before...â
This dance between heartfelt earnestness and teasing banter is becoming a little confusing, but, to be fair, everything about you and Joe is confusing.
Joeâs hand on your cheek is warm, and you let the words youâd just said linger. Let them speak for themselves. You havenât asked Joe a question that needs an answer, but you wait for him to figure out what you mean all by himself.
Why should you go have a shower with Joe if he doesnât think youâre good together? If things canât be better than before?
âBefore...â Joe repeats and then slowly lowers himself next to your chair and leans on a knee so heâs more at eye-level with you. Heâs choked with tenderness for you, especially when you look like this, not unlike what you looked like when you barged into his flat a night ago. âBefore, yea. But that wasâ...â
Then.
This is now.
Joeâs hand is still on your face, his steady touch unmoving, but now his fingers curl under your jaw and around your ear, and it burns your skin. You want to allow yourself to enjoy the gentle touch, but you canât. Shouldnât. Your wants are too risky.
Anxiety swells and you can feel how your fingers are searching out a bit of fabric to run along, but youâre not wearing long sleeves. Itâs why your next question comes out all choppy.
âWill it b-be different?â
Your question implies a whole lot. Implies a want for something new. For something better. Something different. And, perhaps most terrifyingly, it implies a want for something together.
You think if Joe is going to be completely honest with you, he should tell you no. However, logically, you also understand thereâs a current heavy throbbing in his underwear that might influence things slightly.
Still.
You want to hear his answer.
Want to know what heâs really doing here.
What his expectations are.
Joe canât predict the future. But you desperately want him to.
âIt can be.â
Instant disappointment.
In Joe, and within yourself.
It can be.
Itâs the most non-committal answer Joe couldâve given. Itâs guarded. Evasive. Without clear indication or attitude of feeling.
You hate it.
But then you watch as he slowly grabs hold of one of your hands and guides it to the sleeve hem of the hoodie he is wearing where your fingers immediately find home and rub to their hearts content. Itâs embarrassing how your shoulders instantly relax.
Joe clears his throat, cradling your face in both of his hands now, and adds, âIt should be.â which he makes sound like a promise.
It should be.
It should be because you are both older and wiser and have learnt lessons and have grown. It should be because you are new people, with old habits but with new intentions.
It should be because you really want it to be.
It should be because Joe is really going to try.
Thatâs all you want.
All you need.
It should be makes you whine and drop your head fully into Joeâs hold.
It should be has you accept Joeâs lips that press firmly against yours.
It should be allows you to be picked up and lead over to your bathroom where you both undress at lightning speed.
It should be has you under the stream before the waterâs even fully warmed up, standing really close together, and not just because the showerâs small.
Emilyâs absolutely going to kill you.
But sheâs allowed.
She can murder both you and Joe together, and youâll continue doing what youâre doing right now in whatever the afterlife even is until the end of time itself.
Time can stop, for all you care.
Joe touches you in the shower until your legs can quite literally no longer carry you, and then Joe touches you in your bed until every single cell of your body is violently shaking in pure delight.
It should be different.
It will be different.
And different starts right fucking now.
âI love you.â
Joe pants the words heavily into your skin. Into your neck, your collarbone, your shoulder. Wants them to settle there and never leave. He seals them in with kisses, and repeats mumbling praise that he hopes will cling onto you for a while as well.
Youâre convinced heâs just saying things because it feels right in the moment. Because he wants to prove to you that heâs right.
You lay together, bodies on top of each other, and it takes longer than feels normal to come back down from what youâve just done. Joe holds you in place on top of him, both his hands wrapped around your arms, and when you try to move, when you try to let yourself slide off and fall onto the mattress next to him, he only further strengthens his grip.
âI love you.â He then says more clearly, and he sounds like heâs admitting it to himself just as much as he is to you. Like itâs something that he needs to hear himself articulate more than itâs something that you might need to hear.
Itâs unbelievable that heâs here, right now.
He fully thought youâd be done with him by now, yet, here you are, wanting more of him. Different. Yes. But more all the same.
âLove you, love you, love you.â Joe punctuates with kisses.
Joe finds that heâs still as full of emotion for you as he was when you were still together, but thereâs a huge difference in voicing it. In saying things aloud for other people to hear.
For you to hear.
âYea,â you smile, tickled by the tone of Joeâs repeated confession, convinced youâve pulled the words straight from his dick. âYea you do.â
Thereâs no way Joe is thinking with his brain right now.
A soft scoff comes from him before he tries his best to sound like a schoolteacher as he demands, âSay it back.â
You huff a laugh to that, still feeling a little floaty and too far gone for a coherent response. All you can think about is how Joeâs still inside of you, and how he is keeping you there.
Then one of his hands lets you go, but is quickly followed by a well-aimed poke to your side that has you squirming. Joe remembers all your vulnerable spots, knows exactly where they are, fucking dick.
âSay it back! Say, I love you too, Joe.â
In your giggling, you manage to sit up a little and glare down at Joe, but youâre smiling, which completely ruins the effect, and it turns him a little soft inside. You then lean back down a little and give him a peck by his ear which serves to shut Joe up.
He decides itâs enough of an answer, close enough to an I love you said in return. He knows you do, anyway.
In your next move, you snuggle into him, cheek rubbing into his skin, and, fuck, Joeâs done for.
âYea⊠yea, you love me too.â
âShut up.â You whisper, giggles stuck in the back of your throat that you try your best to contain, ones that Joe lets out easily.
âToo bad youâre so annoying.â
âYea.â You squeeze Joe tighter and let your teeth scrape the skin of his chest. âIâm the worst.â
Thereâs no phone buzzing on the bedroom floor.
Thereâs no other people hiding in a different room in your flat.
No... Jessicas, or whatever. No Jaspers.
Youâre in the centre of your bed together, no sides picked or chosen, and the temperature inside reflects neither icy Antarctica nor the Amazon rainforest.
It should be different.
Better.
It already is.
Are you risking making the same mistakes all over again? Yes. Are you willing to still go ahead and give this a try? Also yes.
âWill you stay?â Joe quietly asks, silently and warily bringing up how vulnerable he felt when you broke it all off months ago.
You move your head to look him in the eye for a second.
âI should.â you whisper back, reassuring you in same way Joe had reassured you.
âWill you stay?â you repeat Joeâs question, but know what heâs going to say before he even opens his mouth.
One of his hands snakes around to hold you by the back of your neck.
âI will.â
the end
---
The Taglisted
@alwayslindie, @babybluebex, @capricornrisingsstuff, @chaoticgood-munson, @cowboymcflurry
@demonsanddemogorgons, @djoseph-quinn, @dolcevitalifestyle, @eddies-puppet, @emma-munson
@emotionaldreamer, @everythinghasafacee, @ferfan14, @figmentofquinn, @ghost-proofbaby
@gri959, @hanahkatexo, @hazelenys, @jewellethief, @joesquinns
@keikoraven, @kennedy-brooke, @lovelyblueness, @loves0phelia, @mandyjo8719
@mexicanfolklore, @munsonluvrr, @munsonssweets, @nadixq, @niallersfreckles
@notverywise, @pepperstories, @phyllosilicate-s, @pinchofhoney, @prettiestboyreid
@readergf, @royale1803, @skulliecadaver-blog, @sherrylyn0628, @shizlac
@solzi1420, @songforeddiemunson, @sweetberry47, @take-everything-you-can, @thebellenouvelle
@tlclick73, @werepartnersnow, @witchwolflea, @xxladymjxx, @yunirgo
taglist currently full, apologies!
#joe quinn#joseph quinn#joe quinn x y/n#joseph quinn x y/n#joe quinn fanfiction#joe quinn fanfic#joe quinn x you#joe quinn x reader#joseph quinn fanfiction#joseph quinn x you#joseph quinn fanfic#joseph quinn x reader#rpf#almost always
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I originally noticed you because of your Michael art. Because I am obsessed with Michael and omg so gorgeous.
And I also love your art of your OCs and other characters because woman and your art is amazing! đ
But I just noticed that I actually know HB..I just noticed the tags worst witch and was like wait a minute. I WATCHED THAT SHOW AS A KID!!
And now I just went down memory lane and saw there are 3 seasons of ww98 on YouTube. So I skipped through the first episode and aaaaah.
They really just introduced the short haired teacher doing curls ?? Like guuurl wtf, I love it. And I totally get how you are obsessed with hardbroom because omg hello. Now I am thinking about rewatching it or at least some episodes.
And apparently there is a remake. And aaaaaaah. Do I watch the show or just watch thirsty edits of HB. Because damn đ
i might not watch the show(s) but HB is on my radar now :D
Sorry for the rambling but I think you kinda converted me đ
Omg this actually almost made me cry from how sweet this is đđ
First, thank you so much!! Iâm glad you enjoy my art that means a lotđ€ I might post some more of my own character art here at some point soon so Iâm glad some people like them haha and yes !! Women !!!
I have never managed to covert someone into one of my favourite silly things so Iâm just super flattered by thatđđ
There is a remake!! I highly recommend watching it too! It was actually the show that got ME into the worst witch as a whole (I was on Netflix one day and saw hb and thought she was hot so I decided to watch it, real story) which then lead me later on down this little rabbit hole and I learned about the 1998 one which I absolutely adore and am still obsessed with lol. The remake on Netflix though is great and I def recommend it if you like the original, itâs got some differences but I enjoyed itđ€ I love all versions and have for some good years now- Iâm happy to be able to share that love with people through some of my silly drawings haha
Thank you so much for your words, theyâre so sweet and I really appreciate thatđ€đ€ Donât apologize for rambling either!! I love to read what people have to say in my inbox and chattingđ€
Also Iâm thrilled hb is on your radar cause like look that woman sheâs so- AHHHH I love her
#I actually did see this ask last night when I was up wayyyy too late and almost cried cause I was super tired lol#I fell asleep before responding so Iâm sorry itâs taken me a minuteđ#thank you again đ€đ€ I love hearing what people have to sayđ€#alsoooo expect some more hb art soon cause I am IN IT
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WE CANâT BE FRIENDS
Oscar Piastri x Reader
Authorâs Note: thereâs a lot going on in this fic and I shouldâve probs split it into two so I could do the storyline justice, but Iâm nothing if not slightly lazy so that never wouldâve worked. If you notice any mistakes please do let me know! Rn itâs 2 am and my visions blurred so Iâm gunna post and hope for the best
Iâm actually gunna recommend songs for this fic!!tbh just listen to Willowâs entire discography (apart from that one song with MGK) and if you want to give unholy a listen it is by Hey Violet (though I donât know if I like the song or not, but it says what I needed the fic to say) and of course All I Wanted Was You is paramore! I hope you enjoy
âąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâą
MESSAGES (OSCAR AND Y/N)
INSTAGRAM
youruser just posted
liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 3,456,789 others
youruser: thank yâall for the love on unholy, the last slide is how I feel now that Iâve been let out the house!! Hot gal y/n is back!
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user1: OH WE ARE SO BACK!
user4: IS RHIS CONFIRMATION ?? IS THIS CONFIRMATION?? IS THIS BREAK UP CONFIRMATION
â youruser: girl, if the song wasnât confirmation enough idk what is
sza: welcome back y/n the streets have been waiting for your return
â youruser: tell the streets Iâll get back to them, I have other plans
â oscarpiastri: đ đ
â youruser: gtfo
â landonorris: trouble in paradise?
user32: whoâs the song about???
â landonorris: yeah y/n whoâs the song about??? đ€šđ€š
â youruser: I will block you norizz
â landonorris: oh shiver me timbers
oscarpiastri: amazing song y/n! So proud to call you my best friend
â user22: bro đ đ
â user32: either brother doesnât like her at all or he just has no rizz
â user44: god the friendzone must hurt extra hard after she just released that song about you.
MESSAGES
TWITTER
MESSAGES
TWITTER
INSTAGRAM
youruser posted a photo
liked by lewishamilton, oscarpiastri, jonbatiste and 5,327,439 others
youruser: thank you all so much for all the love over the last month! Iâm so glad you not only watched Queen Charlotte but that you loved it! As you all probably know I havenât released much art in the last three years, but I never stopped making and art is forever. Iâm now just so glad I can now share it with all of you. My new album empathogen is out now on all streaming platforms. Some familiar tracks on there, some not so familiar. Hope you guys enjoy!
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lewishamilton: đđżđđż
â youruser: đ€đ€
user10: canât believe unholy isnât on the album???
â user11: I mean I kinda can⊠all the other songs have much deeper meanings and the sounds are so much more complexâŠ
â user13: thatâs what I was thinking, unholy is giving forever 21 changing room, whilst the album is like, masterpiece level shit
âuser17: thank god Iâve been arguing with people on twtr all morning about this,
â user32: itâs never that deepâŠ
oscarpiastri: Iâm in awe of what your mind can create đ§Ą
â youruser: couldnât do it without my forever muse
â user21: đ€šđ€šđ€šđ€š
â user32: yâall are we seeing this??
â user45: WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THE HOUSE OF COMMONS????
â user67: lord help me Iâm about to read too much into an interaction on the internet. But him adding a heart. Her not adding a heart. Iâm drawing conclusions
â user76: please stop drawing conclusions đ
jonbatiste: so much talent for someone so young, keep flourishing y/n
â youruser: thank you Jon for all your help đ€
MESSAGES (OSCAR AND Y/N)
INSTAGRAM
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youruser: I bagged myself an f1 driver yâall! I hear theyâre in high demand good thing I got you, was scared Iâd have to settle for Lando Norris.
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oscarpiastri: this is not the caption we agreed onâŠ
â youruser: oopsie daisy⊠Iâm just a girl?
â oscarpiastri: MY girl
â youruser: đ€€đ€€ say it again
landonorris: now why am I in this??
â youruser: you saying you wouldnât like to date me?? đ€šđđđâčïž
â landonorris: What no Iâm sure youâd be a joy to date
â oscarpiastri: hey watch yourself Lando thatâs my girlfriend
â landonorris: I mean of course I would never date her
â youruser: âčïžâčïž
â oscarpiastri: so youâre saying thereâs something wrong with my girl Norris? Why wouldnât you like to date her
â landonorris: Iâm so confused
oscarpiastri just posted
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oscarpiastri: making up for lost time, at least we have til the end of it
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user32: oh⊠his caption just called me single in 45 different languages
â user21: the difference between his and y/nâs captions is what had me cackling
youruser: canât wait to spend eternity with you,
â oscarpiastri: unbelievably in love with you
â alex_albon: đ€ź gross
â youruser: @lilymhe come get your man
â lilymhe: @alex_albon why is showing affection gross albon? đ€šđ€šđ€š
logansargeant: Iâm taking credit for this
â landonorris: hey now it was a team effort
â alex_albon: this is me erasure
â youruser: thank you all đ«¶đż you couldâve done it like 4 years earlier but still thank you!
âąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâą
TAGLIST
@forevercaffeinated-lee
@callsignwidow
@a-beaverhausen
@emryb
@c0deincrazy
@dontworryaboutitokie
@c-losur3
@chuxk-lerclerk
@silkenthusiasts
@ietss
@sp1rl
#oscar piastri social media au#oscar piastri smau#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri x black reader#formula 1 smau#f1 smau#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#formula one smau#f1 x black!reader#x black fem reader#oscar piastri x fem!reader
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Finding home in your heart - Pt.2
Pairing: Felix x fem!reader (mention of Minchan | Jisung)
Word Count: 4461
Summary: Felix and you try to figure out how to continue after that first kiss. After insisting on making you dinner before anything further, you soon learn his true intentions are a bit different...
Warnings/Tags: fluff, angst (if you squint), smut, p in v, daddy kink, unprotected sex (reader is on birth control), dom!lix, sub!reader (at least like 98%)
A/N: I'm so happy you all loved the first part so much, I hope you'll enjoy thisđ€đ€
PART ONE
do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works in any way here or on other platforms. ©ïžwritingforstraykids 2024 -
After an early night the day before, you're unsure what to expect today. You and Felix kissed. Then you both continued like nothing had happened, had dinner, and went to bed, both too flustered to talk about it. You get up early, get ready in your adjoining bathroom, and try to avoid leaving your room for as long as possible. Stepping out into the hallway, you curse softly as the door to Felix's room opens. Your eyes meet, and he smiles nervously. âHey,â he says quietly.Â
âMorning,â you respond just as quietly. You don't know where to look because he looks way too good in his sweater and messy hair.Â
âI-uhâŠ,â he trails off, not knowing what to say as you search his eyes observantly.Â
âYou regret it,â you nod, and his face falls. âI should've known. I shouldn't have kissed you,â you say and inhale shakily. Fuck.Â
âY/nnie,â he says timidly but gets interrupted by the front door opening.Â
âI'm homeee,â your best friend shouts, giving you an excuse to end this awkward conversation early.
You swallow hard as you hear Felix's door falling shut again and take a deep breath. âHey,â you smile brightly and wrap her into a tight hug. âHappy birthday, hun!â
âThank you,â she beams and searches the room. âWhere's my dad?â
âUh, probably still sleeping,â you lie, and she frowns at you.Â
âIt's late. I thought you said he's doing better?â she asks worriedly.Â
âHe is, sleep is still important,â you tell her, and she rolls her eyes at you.Â
âMhm, fine,â she nods. I think I'll take a shower and then take a nap. Wake me in two hours, yeah?â She asks, and you reluctantly nod as she walks to the end of the hallway and steps into her room.Â
You wait for another few moments before quietly making your way over to Felix's room. You slip inside and silently pull the door closed, turning the key. Felix glances up, startled at the sound, and looks at you with big, questioning eyes.Â
Your heart breaks a little when you see how anxious he looks, sitting at the edge of his bed. âYou're doing yoga again?â
âExcuse me?â he blinks at you.Â
âMr. utter depression?â You hint, and a weak smile travels across his lips.Â
âY/nnie,â he speaks so softly it makes your insides all warm and fuzzy. You step in front of him and hum in response. His hands find your waist, and he searches your eyes timidly. âRegret is a rather strong expression.â
âMeaning?â you ask, tilting your head at him.Â
âScared is more suitable,â he tells you.Â
You hesitantly brush back his hair for him and chew on your lower lip. âScared of what?â
âPissing her off,â he says. âHurting you,â he continues and very slowly pulls you into his lap. âGetting hurt.â
You hum gently and wrap your arms around his neck. âI have no intention of hurting you, and I don't think you want to hurt me,â you say, and he nods agreeingly. âShe's barely home at this point. Would she really bother seeing two people she loves together?â
âI don't know,â he admits and sighs softly. âY/nnieâŠthink this through for a second. Why did you kiss me?â
âBecauseâŠI really like you,â you say, and Felix hums.Â
âLike me,â he nods and tilts his head at you. âIs that all?â
âWell, not like, obviously. IâŠlike you,â you say, not quite ready to say the big word yet.Â
Felix nods and chews on his lower lip. âEnough to make this something serious at some point?â he asks, and you swallow softly. âBecause I'm not looking for a one-night stand to get over what happened.â
âI know,â you quickly nod. âNeither am I.â
Felix timidly searches your eyes and shakes his head a little. âYou can't want that. I'm still struggling with that shit, I'll have trouble trusting people for a while.â
âLixie,â you say gently. âI meant every word I said back at Min and Chan's. Let me earn your trust and give you the love you deserve,â you try.Â
Felix shakily fondles your sides and takes a deep breath. âAre you sure?âÂ
âVery,â you nod, searching his eyes. âAre you?â
âTrying,â he admits, squeezing your hips. âLet me make you dinner first?â he suggests, making you giggle.Â
âAnd then you'll know?â you laugh, raising your eyebrows at him.Â
âOh, I will,â he nods convinced.Â
-
He had been right, he would know after tonight. Dinner is ready just as the sun starts to set, painting the sky in beautiful hues of red and making the ocean glitter. The table on the balcony is set, beautiful red roses resting in a vase in the middle. You're speechless, stepping outside, and he glances at you nervously. âToo much?â
âNo, it's beautiful,â you assure him, flashing him a bright smile. âJust unexpected.â
âOhâŠwell, I wasn't talking about dino nuggies,â he snorts.Â
âWhat's wrong with those, huh?â you ask, jokingly offended.Â
âNothing,â he giggles, sitting down opposite you. âJust notâŠvery first date?âÂ
âYou're cute,â you smirk, thanking him as he pours you a drink.Â
Dinner tastes amazing, and you make sure he knows it. The two of you get along well, talking is easy since you've been on your own so often before. But you can tell he's more nervous than usual and so are you.Â
âSooo, what do I have to do to qualify?â you ask once you're all done with dinner.Â
âNothing, honestly,â Felix tells you with a soft smile. âJust wanted to have an excuse to spend some time with you.â
âOh,â you breathe out, blushing a little. Felix gently takes your hand, intertwining your fingers. âHow do we go from here then?â
âY/nnieâŠI always knew you're beautiful, I just never paid much attention to it, obviously. But those past few weeks made me realize how beautiful you are inside out and how safe I feel around you,â he tells you, eyes softening the longer he looks at you. âYou make me feel at home, and I want to be selfish for once and keep that.â
âAnd you're sure you won't freak out about what people will think of us?â you ask gently. âTo some people, eight years are worlds apart.â
âI don't care what they think of me, it wouldn't be the first idiotic comments I receive. I'm more worried about you, but I'll have your back, no matter what,â he assures you.Â
You get up and walk to his side of the table. He scoots back with his chair to make room for you, and you slip into his lap. âThen I'm ready.â
âYeah?â he asks softly, eyes shining brightly.Â
âYes,â you nod, mirroring his smile. You wrap your arms around his neck as his hands find your waist.Â
âCan I kiss you?â he asks, and this time it's your turn to give him consent. Felix's soft lips meet yours. It's only been a few days, but you've missed the feeling so much. Your hand travels up, fingers burying deep into his hair, as you kiss back lovingly. You scoot forward to get closer and pull a soft sound from him at the movement. You deepen the kiss and-
âWhat the fuck?!â You flinch back heavily and stare up at your best friend standing at the door. Her eyes are wide, watching the two of you, and Felix's brain seems to stop working as he's frozen in shock. âOh my God, you just kissed my dad.â
âWell, technically,â you start, and she cuts you off with a shrill laugh.Â
âDon't you dare pull the adoption card on me now,â she warns you, and you quickly shut your mouth again.Â
âI thought you wouldn't be home for the weekend?â Felix says, and you gently shove his chest. As if that's the issue right now.Â
âAre you - dad!â she snaps at him.Â
âSorry, that's a valid question,â he chuckles nervously.Â
âWhy? Because I ruined your plans of sneaking around behind my back?â she asks sharply.Â
âDear, weâŠwe were still figuring things out, no one's sneaking around-â
âYes, you were! You didn't tell me you had a crush on each other,â she points out.Â
âMhm, sure, because you're home so often that I could've told you,â he says defensively. âI'm not asking about your love life while you're out in the world, am I?â
âThat'sâŠthat's different. He's my boyfriend, some dude none of you knew before. You're my best friend and my dad - that's something completely different!â she protests.Â
âWellâŠsurprise,â he sighs, and she shakes her head at him. âYou wanted me to be happy, go out and meet someone. Well, here I am, and now you're throwing a tantrum for me not telling you the minute her eyes met mineâŠwhich wouldâve been concerning.â
âI'm sorry I didn't tell you,â you chime in gently, realizing this is the real issue here. âI was scared you'd think weirdly of me for it.â
âWhat? No, why would I?â she groans. âYou're two of the most important people in my life. If you make each other happy, go for itâŠbut I won't take sides if you fight.â
âObviously,â you chuckle. âThat's okay.â
âIt has to be,â she nods.Â
âSo..you're not mad?â Felix asks gently, and she shakes her head. âOh.â
âOh my god, uncle Min will love this,â she grins and grabs her phone. âHe's been betting on the two of you for weeks now.â
âHe's beenâŠfucks sake,â Felix snorts, rolling his eyes.Â
âAlright, well, I'll grab my charger and leave,â she announces and turns away from you. âUse protection; I'm not ready to have a sibling so soon after finding out about you two,â she says, and Felix beneath you flushes crimson red.Â
âShut up,â you shout after her.
Felix leans back against the chair with a soft groan and stares at the ceiling. âI swear, what is wrong with her sometimes?â
The front door slams closed, and you soothingly run your hand through his hair. âWell, she's right, isn't she?â you ask, chuckling. âWhere were weâŠoh, right,â you say and grind down against him with a little more force this time.Â
Felix's jaw drops with a soft whimper, and it's the sweetest sound you've ever heard. âIf you start doing this now, you gotta finish it,â he says, biting his lower lip hard as you repeat the movement.Â
âI will if you let me,â you say, and he nods feverishly. âLet me take care of you today, hm?â
âY-Y/nnie,â he stammers, grip growing tight on your hips as you want to stand up. You see the hint of anxiety in his eyes and stop, sitting back down. âI'mâŠI'm not..god, this is embarrassing.â
You cup his face and soothingly run your thumbs across his cheekbones. âYou can tell me.â
He can't meet your eyes, blushing heavily, and stares out into the slowly darkening sky. âIâŠI know I've been married and everything. It's not like I didn't have sex before, but uhmâŠâ
âLix, were you the one in control?â you ask, wondering if that's the issue here.Â
âSometimes,â he nods and awkwardly scratches his neck. âI can do both, but it's more like she wouldn't let me touch much, prepare herself, and get done with it.â
âOh,â you nod gently, tilting your head at him. âWell, it wonât be the same with me. You can touch as much as you want.â
The shade of red on his face deepens, and you didn't think it was possible at this point. âOkay,â he says, barely audible.Â
âYou have to promise me something, though,â you continue, locking eyes with him. The sudden seriousness in your tone draws his full attention. âYou have to tell me what you like and what you donât like. If anything feels too much or off, you say stop. Okay?â
Felix nods, the vulnerability in his eyes making your heart swell with a mix of affection and determination. âOkay,â he repeats, stronger this time. A faint smile lies on his lips as he realizes the depth of care in your every word.
You lean in, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead, then to his cheek, and finally lingering close to his lips. âWeâre going to explore this together, yeah? I want you to discover every part of you, the parts known and especially the unknown, Lixie,â you tell him, and the heat between you is growing, breaths mingling between your lips.
Felix looks up at you through his lashes, and for a moment, the world seems to stand still. âBedroom?â he asks, and you nod in response. He gets up, carrying you all the way there, not without stealing a kiss or two. He throws the door closed and lets you down gently, meeting your eyes with a giddy smile. âCan I?â he asks gently as his fingers find the hem of your shirt.
âYes,â you smile encouragingly, letting him take it off for you. Felix tries to be polite and tries not to stare too much, but it's hard. His hands shyly find your waist, eyes meeting yours as his fingers tremble against your skin. Your hands find the hem of his shirt, and after getting permission, you take it off for him in return. You're less shy, hands roaming his back and down his stomach. His eyes widen as you sink down to your knees in front of him, fidgeting with the button of his trousers. âOkay?â you check in.Â
âOkay,â he nods, breath hitching a little as you pull down his jeans. Felix watches you cautiously as your hands fondle up his thighs. âY/nnie,â he whispers into the quiet of the room once your lips meet his abdomen, traveling as low as possible. âWait,â he stops you gently, sitting down at the edge of his bed and pulling you with him. He searches your eyes for consent before helping you out of your trousers, biting back a guttural groan at the sight of you in your underwear. âYou're so beautiful,â he tells you, hands finding your waist before pulling you into his lap. His hands travel up your thighs, slowly fondling your sides, and then he brushes aside the straps of your bra only to plant soft kisses where the material had been resting on your shoulders. Soft lips travel their way up your neck, small promises of love littering your skin as he tries not to buck his hips up against you. He sinks his teeth into your skin, right below your ear, drawing a sweet moan from you. Encouraged by the sound, he continues his way back down to your collarbone, nibbling and sucking at your skin. You're sure he's leaving marks you'd have trouble hiding the next day. âSo, so beautiful,â he whispers against your skin, hands digging deep into your hips.Â
âLix,â you whisper, running your hand through his hair. You can feel him getting painfully hard beneath you and gently rock your hips against him. A groan dies in his throat, hips bucking up against you. âLixie,â you whisper, and he hums in response. âDon't hold back,â you say, and the next drag of your hips pulls the sweetest sound from his lips. âYou sound so pretty, don't hide.âÂ
Felix blinks at you, almost a little surprised, before smiling shyly. His lips meet yours gently and you allow him to find his way around you and get comfortable with it. His fingers travel up your back before unclasping your bra skillfully. He doesn't break the kiss yet, but his fingertips brush against your nipple before squeezing your breast, pulling a whine from you. At that sound something in him switches and he gets up with you in his arms easily, lowering you into the bed. He gives you enough time to get comfortable, resting your head on his pillow while hovering over you. His lips are attached to your nipple before you can comprehend what's happening, a soft sucking motion making you moan out in bliss. Encouraged by the sound he starts devouring your boobs, soft little bites, kitten licks, sucking marks wherever he can. He's moaning deliciously as if he's trying to crawl into your skin. It's messy, it's sweet and you can't stop writhing with need beneath him, tugging at his hair with soft whimpers. âFuck, baby,â he growls, dipping his fingers below the hem of your panties. You mewl as his fingers brush against your clit, running down between your folds and collecting your juices. âShit, you're so wet already,â he moans, and only then you notice him subtly rutting against the mattress between your legs.Â
âFelix, please,â you whine, and his blown, dark eyes meet yours. âPlease, I need you, your mouth, your fingers, anything, please,â you beg needily.Â
âYeah,â he nods frantically. âGonna make you feel so good, yeah?â he says, circling his finger against your dripping hole. You whine in response, the sound dying in your throat as he pushes his finger inside of you. His eyes widen at how easily he slips inside and he almost hesitantly eases in another finger. âFuck,â he whispers, sitting up and ripping off your panties with his other hand. He watches his fingers disappear into your body as you clench around them, squirming. âFuck, you're perfect,â he tells you, holding back a soft growl as he guides your leg up over his shoulder. He starts kissing your inner thigh as he works you open, soon adding another finger. âSuch a good girl, you're doing so well, pretty,â he says and there's not much of his initial shyness left, which makes you feel prouder than you'd ever admit.
âLix, more, please,â you beg, whimpering softly as he squeezes your thigh calmingly.Â
âPatience, be a good girl,â he tells you, watching with interest how your body trembles at his words. âYou like that? Being called a good girl?â he asks, gently rubbing his thumb against your clit.Â
âYes, daddy,â you whimper and cover your mouth in shock as he freezes. Your eyes meet, and your own anxiety meets his curiosity.Â
âWhat did you just say?â he says barely audible, feeling the need to be buried inside you spread through him like wildfire.
You blush heavily, shying away beneath his gaze, and whine at the loss of his fingers. You fear you've ruined the moment when he pulls away from you, not noticing he's simply getting rid of the last piece of clothing parting you.Â
He moves further up on the bed and grabs your chin softly, meeting your eyes. âSay that again,â he says, so kind but demanding it makes your brain all mushy.Â
âDaddy?â you ask timidly and you can see the change in his whole demeanor.Â
âIs that what you're gonna call me behind closed doors, sweet girl?â he asks, an amused smirk settling on his lips.Â
Oh. âI don't need the door to be closed to call you that in this setting,â you give back, a little more confident now that he doesn't seem to mind it.Â
Felix snorts softly, reaching down between your bodies. Your breath hitches in anticipation as you can feel him dragging his dick between your folds. âIf you keep dripping like that I won't need any of the lube I bought,â he tells you bluntly.Â
âYouâŠso the dinner wasn't about talking after all,â you hum amused, reaching up to cup his cheek.Â
âNot really,â he smirks, searching your eyes to make sure you're still comfortable.Â
âI'm on birth control, daddy,â you say and he bites back a groan at the implied message behind that.Â
âYou're going to be the death of me,â he chuckles.Â
âYou're not that much older, come on,â you tease him, and your jaw drops as he pushes his dick inside of you without any further warning.Â
âNot that cocky now, huh?â he asks, watching your face flood with pleasure at the way he's stretching you out. âYou're gonna be a good girl now, you hear me?â he asks and you nod. âWords, princess.â
âYes, daddy, I'll be good,â you nod quickly, reaching out for him helplessly. He lets you wrap your arms around him, your hand sinking into his hair.Â
âMhm, I sure hope so,â he giggles, pulling back before pushing back inside. He watches your face contort with pleasure as he starts working out a steady pace and captures your lips in a kiss. âSo pretty baby,â he mumbles against your lips, his own parting with soft moans at the much-needed friction. âYou feel so good, pretty girl, so fucking perfect,â he grunts and buries his face in your neck.Â
âOnly for you, daddy,â you tell him, and his hips stutter.Â
âYeah? Only mine, baby? No one else?â he asks, and you know those words carry more weight than you'd both like them to.Â
You pull him back up, wrapping your legs around his hips, and sink deep into his eyes. He stills in you, breathing out slowly as you tenderly brush your thumb against his lower lip and cup his face. âOnly for you, Lixie. As long as you'll have me I'll be yours and yours only,â you promise.Â
Felix swallows softly, before kissing you very firmly and desperately. âOnly mine,â he whispers, hand gently fondling down your side and grabbing your thigh. âMy beautiful baby.â
âOnly yours, my sweet love,â you promise and the last hint of anxiety leaves his eyes. Your lips meet and he presses himself as close as he can, a breathy moan leaving him as he starts moving again. âFeels so good, daddy,â you moan, arching up against him as he hits your sweet spot.Â
Felix's hand slips beneath your body, keeping your back arched as he picks up pace. âGonna fuck you so good, baby,â he promises, and his bluntness has you writhing. He gently drops you back into the mattress after a second, hand starting to roam your body. His lips wrap around your nipple once more and he moans so sinfully you can't help but make a mental note of it for another time. His hand slips between your bodies, fingertips brushing between your folds and against your clit. âSuch a good girl for daddy,â he praises you breathlessly and plants messy kisses down your jaw.Â
âFuck, daddy,â you moan in pure need as the force of his thrusts picks up. âK-Keep going, please,â you beg between choked moans, feeling the knot in your stomach tightening already.Â
Felix watches your head drop to the side into the pillow and reaches up, abandoning your clit. You can feel how soaked you are when his fingertips meet your cheek and make you look at him again. âWanna see your pretty face when you cum,â he tells you, which has you rolling your eyes back. He groans as your grip on his hair tightens and watches your face, imprinting every detail in his brain.Â
âDaddy,â you whimper. âMâso close, please,â you moan.Â
âYeah, daddy's girl wanna cum?â he rasps into your ear, and shit, that deep voice could send you over the edge alone. âGonna show daddy how good he's making you feel, hm?âÂ
âPlease,â you whine, body shaking beneath him. âPlease, I've been good,â you tell him, eyes filling with desperation.Â
âWait for me,â he pants, before guiding your legs onto his shoulders. âWanna cum with you, pretty girl,â he tells you, practically folding you in half with the next harsh snap of his hips. You moan out his name obscenely loud as he starts a fast, desperate pace, pounding into you. âSo close, baby,â he groans. âSo fucking perfect.â
You don't know who falls over the edge first. All you know is that you're clenching around him, moaning beneath him, and shaking heavily as it happens. He's cursing the filthiest shit, burying his face in your neck with a desperate, broken âAh, fuckâ as he paints your walls with his hot release. You're grabbing whatever parts of him you can reach, trying to find something to steady yourself with. Felix grows heavy on you once you're both done, nuzzling his nose against your neck. âShit, you're amazing,â you breathe out, making him giggle sweetly.Â
âBaby?â he asks, experimentally rolling his hips once more, which makes you moan softly. âYou want to - Think you can go again?â he asks, already growing hard again. His voice went all shy and soft again and the contrast to before is making you dizzy.Â
âGet on your back,â you tell him and he does, smiling up at you. Your breath hitches at the sight. He looks so fucked in the most positive way. Hair a mess, lips swollen from kissing, eyes wide and so full of love. You climb into his lap, bracing yourself on his chest as you lower yourself onto his dick. A broken sound leaves him and he's gripping your hips needily. âNow relax, gonna take good care of you, Lixie.â
âPlease,â he smiles sweetly, head falling back with the neediest moan as you lift your hips.Â
-
As the evening turns to night, youâve shared all these moments of laughter, gentle touches, and explorations. Felix, usually so controlled and shy around you, opens up under your attentive gaze and touch, showing you a side of him thatâs so raw and unguarded it makes you dizzy. It feels so easy to express his desires, to ask for what he wants, and to give in to the sensations rippling through him in your presence.
The vulnerability and trust he places in you weave a stronger bond between you. You make him feel so loved and desired that every second is another step toward healing and never-before-experienced intimacy for him.
Wrapped in each otherâs arms, the world outside seems like a distant reality, Felix whispers in the quiet of the room, âI never knew it could be like thisâŠto feel so connected, I mean.â
You fondle his hair, a smile covering your lips. âItâs all about being with the right person. Someone who cares about you.â
Itâs not just the physical closeness but the emotional bond that has deepened tonight, the trust that has been solidified. Felixâs earlier anxieties and fears seem smaller now, making them manageable with you by his side.
As you both drift off, Felix plays with your hair. The newfound hope and confidence, soaked up by your love and understanding, make him feel all fuzzy. In turn, you feel finally happy, knowing youâve managed to lead the way to a future with mutual support and love. You realize this is just the beginning, there will always be challenges, misunderstandings, and perhaps even moments of doubt. But the foundation youâre starting to build feels strong, rooted in honesty and communication. Felix was right, this does feel like home.
PART ONE
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Pleasure Cleanse
Day 7 of Kinktober
Dry humping with Jeongin đ€
Go visit @neverendingstay for the Even days of the month
Warning: unprotected P in V, Dryhumping
18+ MDNI!!
The breeze feels nice on your skin. Your boyfriend and you wanted to get away from everything for a weekend, things have gotten crazy at home. After realizing this is the first weekend you both had nothing going on in awhile, camping was the idea you both landed on.
The sun is setting and dusk looks as beautiful as ever in the woods with no lights to draw your attention away from what is now becoming the night sky, stars slowly starting to appear the darker it gets.
Jeongin sits next to you on a camping chair, drink in his hand. His hair is getting long, starting to fall slightly into his eyes, his head is tilted back to watch the same sky as you, eyes lit up in contentment and marveling at the beauty.
You reach over and intertwine your fingers with his free hand. He turns to look at you and gives you his trademark eye smile, his eyes turning to little slits and his dimples sinking into his cheeks.
You smile back at him, the cool night air hitting your faces and causing his cheeks to red.
The night grows colder and you're ready to curl up in the tent Jeongin and you set up earlier, thick warm blankets line the floors.
You both crawl into the a frame tent and zip it closed, having already changed into comfy sleep time clothes, you both snuggle in close to each other. His body warm and hard against yours.
You stare in silence at each other for a bit, looking in each others eyes, taking in each others features when he rests his large hand on your cheek, rubbing small circles in your skin with his thumb.
"Thank you for coming out here with me. I needed this, I feel like I can finally breathe and relax." He says to you in a whisper, like people might hear and he wants to keep all his words between just the two of you.
"I needed this too, you don't need to thank me. I feel like I haven't seen you in forever." You also whisper, content to keep your bubble private and safe. Your hand rests on top of his hand that rests on your cheek, leaning into his warm touch.
He leans in and plants a soft gentle kiss on your lips. It's long and sweet, his chapstick tastes like mint. You slide closer to him wanting to feel him against you as much as you can.
He rolls you onto your back, him hovering above you and your wrap your arms around his neck, lacing your fingers through the soft hair that lines the base of his neck.
Your tongues play with each other, but the kiss stays soft, slow. It's not rough and urgent but like your both just happy to feel each other again.
You bring your hand between your bodies and starting at his chest, slide your hand down until it palms the bulge in his sweats. He moans softly, hips softly grinding down into your hand. You smile loving his enthusiasm.
You continue to grope and stroke him through his sweats, sweet moans and whines leaving his lips that have now disconnected from yours to leave wet slopy kisses on your neck and collarbone.
You move your hand and instead of moving to rid yourselves of the clothes that keep you apart, he pushes his hips down grinding his clothes cock over your clothed pussy.
You moan, there's something juvenile about the impatience of not removing clothes. But there's also something so delicious about the friction your clothes provide.
He continues to grind against you, bodies writhing, your hips wrap around his waist, arms pull his chest close to yours as you dig your face into his neck. The sound of moans and pants fill the tent and you both can't get enough of the feeling even without any skin to skin contact, besides your hands, where his fingers are intertwined with yours.
When you feel your orgasm creeping up on you, you wrap your legs tighter around him pulling him in closer, jutting your own hips up to meet his. His eyes shutting at the sensitivity from the amount of rubbing.
Your nails dig into his hand that is still firmly grasping yours as you reach your climax and come with a loud moan that you muffle in the crook of his neck.
His movements getting sloppy as he meets his own orgasm, a wet spot forming at the front of his sweatpants as he all but collapse on top of you.
After you both catch your breath you sit up to look at each other, hair disheveled and he gets up to grab a change of pants and underwear.
He turns to look at you and with a defeated smile he says, "I don't have another change of clothes." and you both enter into a fit of laughter.
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OMG HIIII!!! IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! I JUST TURNED 19 AND WAS WONDERING IF YOU COULD DO LIKE A VAMPIRE JAKE WEBBER SMUT? If not that's okay (I lov your stuff! )
Iâm a few days late but - Happy birthday babe! Have a wonderful day! đ€đ
Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, vampire!Jake, mentions of alcohol, being drunk, mentions of blood, blood drinking, compulsion, flirting, kissing, semi rough actions, hair pulling, choking, unprotected sex, general filth
Word Count: 1.9k | unedited
Balloons littered the ceiling, and confetti mirror them on the floor.
Bodies bumped against one another as they danced to celebrate your special day in a club your close friends rented out.
âHowâs the birthday girl?â Caylee yells as she runs up to you, âHaving fun?â
You finish off your drink and nod, âBest. Birthday. Ever!â You wrap your arm around her waist as you make your way up to the bartender, âCan I get-â
âAnother bay breeze?â He asks, giving you a smirk and you smile, biting down onto your lip as you nod, âYes, please.â
He nods, âComing right up.â
You hear your friends whispering loudly behind you, so you turn, âWhat are we whispering so loud about?â You laugh, looking around in the direction that theyâre looking.
âWho invited the vampire?â Caylee asks with a giggle, âDoesnât he look like something out of, I donât know, twilight or something?â
âVampires arenât real, Cay.â Your other friend laughs and Caylee finishes her drink as you look at her, âWho are we talking about.â
âOkay. Okay.â She laughs, setting her empty glass down, âThrough the crowd, standing against the wall. Dark hair, white open button down, black leather jacket.â
You give it a few more seconds, looking through the crowd, and as soon as your eyes set on him, itâs almost like something takes over you.
âYou know you could stay.â You smile up at him as he stands up from the bed to get dressed, âYou donât have to leave so soon.â
He bends down, pressing a kiss to your forehead before leaning back to look into your eyes, âI wish I could, sweetheart. But you wonât remember this until you see me again.â
You nod, and within a blink of an eye, youâre alone in your room.
âHey.â Caylee shakes you slightly, âWhereâd you go?â
You take a deep breath, looking between her and your other friends, âI invited him.â
âWho is it?â Caylee asks as she grabs her glass thatâs now full again, âDid you hook up with him? How do you know him?â
You keep your eyes on him as you push through your group of girlfriends, walking over to him with a smile, âThanks for coming to my party, Jake.â
âYou remembered my name?â He turns his head towards you as it still rests against the wall, âHad to come show the birthday girl some love.â
You lean against the wall, smiling as you look down and back up at him, âI didnât think youâd remember.â
âI didnât think youâd remember, either.â He smirks, turning his body towards you, âHaving fun?â
You nod, âI am, but what didnât you think Iâd remember? As soon as I looked at you I was taken back to when I told you to stay and you said you wish you could, but couldnât.â You tilt your head, âWhat happened?â
He chuckles, taking a sip of his dark colored drink, âStuff you wouldnât understand.â
âTry me.â You bite your lip and Jake shakes his head, âYou donât want to do this. Not here, not now.â
âWhy?â You whine slightly, and Jake shrugs, motioning to the crowd of people, âBecause all of the focus is on you. Youâre the birthday girl, after all, right?â
âYeah, but that doesnât-â
Jake cuts you off, âGo have fun. Find me later.â
And you do as he says, no if, andâs, or butâs about it.
You spent the next two hours dancing with your friends, eating cupcakes and just having fun, just like Jake said.
Eventually, he caught your eye and your focus was set on him, but you were intercepted by Caylee, âYou need to tell me who that guy is!â
âSomeone I hooked up with a few days ago.â
Her mouth drops, âExcuse me.â She canât help but laugh, âYou hooked up with that and didnât bother to tell any of us? Girl, I-â she raises her brows, âHeâs hot.â
âYou literally called him a vampire from twilight.â You laugh, your gaze averting to him once again.
Caylee laughs, âI never said I didnât find him attractive.â She shrugs, downing her drink, âYouâre the birthday girl, just be safe.â
You roll your eyes, smiling at Jake as you walk up to him, âSorry. Birthday girl duties.â
âDid you have fun?â He smiles as he sips on his drink and you nod, âYeah, but I think we can have a little more if you want.â
âBold.â He chuckles and you shrug, âI know what I want.â
He tilts his head, âFollow me.â He extends his hand out and you immediately take it, allowing him to guide you through the club and to one of the back storage rooms.
âWeâre doing this here?â You question as you press your back against the wall, eyes scanning up the racks with supplies.
âJust-â Jake presses you into the wall harder, eyes glued to yours, âCan I taste you?â
You nod and within the dim lights of the closet, you see his eyes, change? You werenât sure, but before you could react, âDonât scream.â
His lips are on your neck and you let out a light moan, but that quickly turns into a piercing, sharp sting as his fangs sink into your skin.
Everything in you wants to scream, but you canât.
Jake groans against your neck, pushing his hips against yours as he lifts his head to drag his tongue over the marks, âDelicious.â
You felt lightheaded, dizzy. You tilt your head back, resting ur against the wall as you look up at him, âYou.. just..â
âDrank your blood?â Jake raises his brow and smirks as you nod. He licks his lips, âYeah, I kinda only want yours now.â
You squeeze your eyes shut, âWait..wait..â
You feel Jakeâs fingers in your chin, âLook at me.â
You open your eyes and look up at him as your breathing grows more rapid, âThe only time I compelled you was when I needed a drink and when I left your apartment that night.â He pauses, âEverything else was you.â
âBut- I-I do-â you stammer, trying to figure out what you want to say, but youâre baffled.
âJustâŠâ Jake slides his hands down your arms, bringing your hands to cup his cheeks, âI promise, no more compulsion. Iâll-â he takes a deep breath, resting his forehead against yours, âIâll you everything you want to know.â
You swallow, âI want you.â
Jakeâs lips were on yours, hands squeezing your hips as he lifts you up with such ease. Your back is pressed against the wall and he pulling your dress up to pool around your waist, âI donât want to hurt you, thatâs not why Iâm here.â
His lips trail down your neck and you let out a sigh, âSo you just want to fuck?â
He leans back, shaking his head, âI am yours to do whatever you want with. Iâm captivated by everything that makes you, you.â
Your heart starts pounding with his words and you nod, pulling him in for another heated make out.
He reaches down undoing his jeans and you push his jacket off his shoulders, gasping when you see the white, blood stained shirt underneath.
âDonât worry about that right now.â Jake assures as he sets you down, âTurn around.â
You turn to face the wall, ass pushes out towards him as your cheek rests against the wall by your hands.
Jake leans in, his voice in a low whisper, âGotta make this quick, canât keep the birthday girl, too long.â
You moan out as you feel him move your panties to the side before he his cock slip in between your folds and into you fully. He groans lowly, âYou have no idea how often I kept thinking about you.â
He pulls out slowly, only to thrust back in hard, âWanting to be the only one who makes you feel this good.â He reaches up to brush hair from your face, âWanting to be the only one who can make you happy. Make you smile. Laugh, fuck.â
You claw at the wall, moaning louder and louder at his words and thrusts. You push your ass back, head tilting back as his hand wraps around your hair, âJ-Jake.â You whimper, âI-Iâm so close.â
âAlready?â He chuckles lowly, âMust mean Iâm doing a good job, yeah?â
âY-yes. Yes, fuck, Jake.â You whine, eyes rolling back as he tugs your head back by your hair, âCum for me, y/n.â
Your walls pulsate around him, earning groan after groan from his lips, âThatâs it.. just like that, baby. Doinâ so good for me.â
You bite down on your lip to try and muffle your moans but Jake reaches up, pulling your lip from in between your teeth, âMm, not gonna work, baby. I want to hear you.â
You groan, using your hands to push your body off the wall and back towards him, âfuck, fuckfuckfuck.â
âNot much longer baby, câmon.â Jake groans, head resting against yours, âI know youâre almost there. You can do it, cum for me. Cum on my cock.â
Loud, whiney moans leave your lips in a string, one right after another as you cum, âShit, Jake. Yesyesyesyes.â
You feel Jakeâs cock twitching inside of you and you moan, your forehead resting against the wall as Jakeâs grip on your hair lets up.
He steps back, reaching down to pull your panties back over your filled cunt, âYou alright, sweetheart?â
You nod, spinning around with your head still against the wall, âYeah.â You nod, âIâm glad you came back for me.â You laugh slightly and Jake smiles, âIâm obsessed with you, what can I say?â
You pull your dress down and stand up straight, âHow soon will these marks go away? I donât know what Iâd tell my friends.â
âDo you want them healed?â Jake raises his brows and you nod, giving him a shrug, âI mean, it would be nice.â
Jake brings his wrist to his mouth and bites, âHere. Just drink some of this. Itâll heal the wounds, rather fast actually.â He chuckles and you give him a weird look, âAre you sure?â
âBeen around for a while, babe. I promise. Iâm not here to hurt you.â
You sigh, reaching up to hold his wrist against your mouth. Your lips attach to his skin and you wince, mainly at the thought of what you were currently in the middle of doing.
Jake brushes hair from your face and pulls his wrist away, âLet me see.â He brushes hair from your neck and nods, âDo you feel that?â
âFeel what? The pain going away?â You look up at him and he nods, âExactly.â
You smirk, âThank you, I, um-â
âDonât. This is all new, but promise, Iâll hold your hand every step of the way.â He smirks and nods towards the door, âCome on. Letâs go party.â
You lay your hand in his and he stops you from opening the door, âOne thing..â
âWhatâs that?â You turn towards him and he sighs, âJust donât.. um, die for a few days.â
You blink and shake your head, âI mean, I donât plan on it, but can I ask why?â
Jake chuckles, âIf you die with vampire blood in your system, youâll come back as one.â
âGood to know.â You laugh, âIâll try my best.â Jake smiles and nods and you open the door, âI want to introduce you to my friends, they asked me earlier, who invited the vampire.â
ââ
I hope you liked this, Jake as a vampire is HOT! Let me know what you thought! I love you all, thank you so much for reading. See you in the next one! đ€
Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!
#samandcolby-ownme#Jake Webber#Jake Webber smut#vampire!jake Webber#vampire!Jake Webber x reader#Jake Webber x reader#Jake Webber x reader smut#Jake Webber one shot#Jake Webber one shots#jake webber dirty#smut jake webber#smut#smut warning#smut writer#Jake Webber x you#Jake Webber x y/n
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a message from your pain
talking about suffering is hard, but ultimately necessary. welcome to this pac, I am here to shed light on your wounds in ways that are helpful. by the way, sorry if the artwork is triggering, I tried to find the perfect ones that really encapsulate what deep pain and despair feel like, but the messages might be more soothing than the pics lol.
welcome to your reading ! just wanted to say thanks in advance for stopping by đ«Ą
Pile one đ€
You're putting your sword down. Confrontation is a no no for you, isn't it? You rather die than pick up a fight again. You swallow your words, your boundaries are non existent, you're constantly on edge and anxious. Hear me out, pile one. When you're putting your sword down, you're not actually putting it down. You're shoving it right in your own stomach. I'm not telling you to become angry and start fighting everyone around you. But if you keep quiet, taking it all in, you're going to become sick. You want to keep the peace, but not your peace. You want to keep yourself small, not bothersome, for these people's comfort. If talking to the people around you is so conflict inducing, why bother having these people around at all? If your boundaries aren't heard or even allowed to be set, why bother having these people around you AT ALL? If you must live with them, consider moving somewhere more peaceful, like a family member. Take action if your words aren't welcomed. Leave. Remove yourself. Stop taking in poison, because the longer you do, the longer the healing will take. You're already feeling awful. Your suffering exist because you feel obligated to be around people who hurt you and demand you to be silent. Set yourself free. And don't try to talk to them about it. You will have to unpack all of this on your own, or with other people who will understand and hear you. Process everything you buried deep within you by journaling, speaking out loud, punching a pillow. Just let it all out. Short them you will have to slowly heal from all this crystalized, internalized abuse. Long term, recognize this pattern: whenever you feel the need to be quiet to not bother someone else, leave, and never go back to the people who did this to you.
Pile two đ€
Oh, your pile actually resonates with the pic you chosen. I see an artist, a creative or someone who does something out of the norm. You could even be a witch, like me. The thing is, you have internalized a lot of criticism, and no longer feel as passionate as you did before. You want to create and be who you were before, but you lost your drive and motivation. It seems a lot of conflict used to exist or still exists because of your hobby, career or spirituality, and you felt like it lost the point. You could've tried to prove something to these people, you could've tried to argue, and nothing worked. Even your own progress wasn't matching to your expectations. So what if they were right? Your spark died, but now that you have worked so hard, it's hard to let go. It became your personality, it used to be your comfort, but now there's only a shadow of what it used to be. I'm not going to tell you whether you keep going or not, this is your decision. But you can regain the spark if you want to. But try to protect it better this time, whatever it is that you do. Hide it, if it is possible. Avoid taking about it to people who are committed to misunderstanding you. And go backwards. Reconnect with it, by understanding what made you so fascinated and entranced by it in the beginning. Maybe, that vision is no longer appealing, and if so, create another one. Restart from scratch, but have a vision, just like you did in the beginning. Say to yourself you are committed to falling in love again with your craft, if that's what you choose. If not, it's always ok to let it go. You can always find another something to be passionate about.
Pile three đ€
Someone taught you that money was the only thing in life. That it defined your worth and value as a person. That nothing else was as important. That your safety was defined by the amount of money you had, from a young age or a very vulnerable period in your life. So your mind attached to the idea that if you didn't had money, you were in mortal danger, you were worthless and a nobody. Your relationship with money, regardless of how much you have or not, is distorted. You could be stable and still feel like it's not enough, or you could be just starting in adulthood and feeling very scared of the future. Money is important, yes. But it's exactly this fear, this pressure, this feeling like your life depends on it, it's paralyzing you, it's traumatizing and deeply agonizing. What will help you is basically lots of cbt. Ever heard of catastrophizing? Cognitive distortions? These could be playing a large role on your mindset and consequently, the amount of money you're able to make. These tools of cbt can help you relax and see things a bit more rationally. Since it's personal to each of you, I cannot fix your fears, but I can give you some of my tools for you to fix them yourself.
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Love long lost pt 4
Aaravos x reader
[Requests are open]
{Angst} Warning: blood,murder,kidnapping,possession,stalking,strong language
This chapter is pretty short cause I'm getting back into writing, so please be patient. I'm trying my best đ still. I hope you enjoy đ€
@delusional-mushroom @imsimping4life @jellyfishxxi @hubba-hubba1 @tired-of-life-86 @delicioussnakeinme
Masterlist
Part one
Part two
Part three
" Years ago, when we found that Aaravos had been stabbing each and every one of us in the back for centuries, and we connected the dots between the disappearance of the late dragon queen and the supposed murder of the late sunfire elf queen, we, of course, all decided we must take action. So when a little bard came to us with months' worth of evidence that one of his performers was engaging in secret relations with Aaravos, we all were inspired with the same idea." Zubeia begins with an odd glint in her eyes.
I sit down on top of the larger stones in the cave, giving the dragon queen my full attention as she speaks. I'm thinking about the many possibilities that could come of this story. ultimately knowing they all end in grief and sorrow.
" After being confided in by the bard, the arch dragons, accompanied by the jailor, all collectively agreed that the only way to be able to imprison Aaravos was to get him to believe that he was successfully protecting Someone he cared for. As some know, He failed at protecting his daughter centuries before, and our best move at the time was to weaponize the trauma of it. By using you." She admits looking down at me.
"What?! That's horrible. What happened to his daughter?" You ask with a surprised look you didn't expect to hear that from her.
"She was killed in the name of cosmic justice for giving humans magic years before my time. Back when the sun King still was just a prince."She explains."After that, 100 years passed, and Aaravos began his plan."
You couldn't believe that. He lost his child, and they used that against him? It's horrible.
" How could you all use that against somebody? I get the need for imprisonment, but come on, that's just horrible." I say, shaking my head in shame. Knowing that somewhere in this story, I agreed to participate.
"We saw no other choice at the moment. You must understand. But back to the story. So you were brought to us by an earth dragon. You were unconscious, sick, and wounded. Just like we needed. The mob you saw was our creation. The bard wanted to be caught so that he could get the people with him. Be authentic. He also knew you were unaware of the two queen's disappearances at his hand, so we knew the confusion would cloud your judgment." She pauses before continuing
" We kept you at the storm spire. And once you were back to your senses. We told you that Aaravos had abandoned you and disappeared to escape prosecution. We told you he had killed the queens for power and that we needed your help. You agreed but started getting suspicious. You were well within your right to have been, as we did not plan to save you as we promised. We gave you to the townspeople under the claim of witchcraft and your relationship with Aaravos. And you were taken to the stake as the other startouched elves came to help and watch with the people. As soon as the flame was set under you, he arrived, and we trapped him. But you. We left to burn." Zubeia explains with a sigh as I sit in shock.
Excuse me. I'm getting told that I was manipulated into getting burned at the stake. For what? I think before Zubeia speaks again
" You know I do regret it. Knowing you in this life, I see that you meant no harm. But we couldn't take any chances we thought you would try to free him."
I wanted to scream at her. But when I went to, no words came out, so I stopped. Frozen for a moment before I can choke something out.
"Thank you, my Queen, for telling me, but I need a moment. Please." I say excusing myself from the room. I can't think clearly with her there. After what I know now. I can't bring myself to even look her in the eye anymore as I leave. As I am making my way through the storm spire, I get some confused looks from Callum and Rayla, but I just keep moving. I have to.
I make my way to the top of the mountain. sitting on the edge with my head in my hands, lost in thought.
It was wrong what they did. But I don't know who to be mad at. Yes, the arch dragons killed me, but Aaravos killed so many and ruined lives. he came to save me, and he just sounds like he did most of it to Avenge, his daughter. When it comes down to it, I can't help but think.
As the sun starts to set, ezren comes up to see me he tells me that they are all leaving to grab food for the night and I should join them. But I can't. I'm not hungry. I need answers. Zubeia is hiding something I can sense it.
Ezren notices something is wrong, but before he can ask if I'm okay, he is called to leave, and as I see them all leave with Zubeia and Zym, I know who I need to speak to.
I march down the steps of the storm spire and into the main room with the remains of a broken mirror. Waiting for the sun to set completely. Once it does, I pick up the shards of glass and place them one by one back in place, and before I know it, I see that glow again, and Aaravos stands before me with a sick grin.
" I know everything, I think." I start unsure of how to go about this.
"I need to know the truth. The dragon queen is hiding something, and I need you to tell me right now!" I say in a strict tone. While Aaravos continues to stare with a cheeky shrug.
" Why won't you speak? I need you to work with me here!" I semi-shout. This is getting frustrating, and the taunting is not helping.
This goes on for a while before I start to pace back and forth, trying to find a way. Before I come up with anything, though, I see him tap the glass.
U couldn't hear it, though.
God damnit I can't fucking talk to him cause I can't hear anything on his side.
"FUCK. THAT'S WHY I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" I shout, running up to the mirror and grabbing it frantically. "There has to be something! Your magic, right? You possessed Callum. What do you need?"
Aaravos laughs at you behind the glass, summoning a paper you step back as you wait for him to write.
' A sacrifice'
Oh.well, that makes it interesting.
I pause trying to think. It's just possession. It's not like I would have to kill them. I would get the answers that I need as well. I look up at Aaravos, still looking smug. He knows. He can see how curiosity eats at my soul. He can see the anger I carry after learning the truth. Oh God, what am I going to do.
I wait atop the roof of a small house deep in the woods. A hunter lives here alone. perfect, it'd almost be too easy. I sneak into the open window and creep silently through the rafters stalking the man through his house.
And once he turns his back, he's mine.
Blood trickles down the man's head as I drag him. I hit him on the head pretty hard. His limp body is heavy to carry, so I decided to make it easy. I stop and take the man back to his house, tying him up and blindfolding m h him. After getting rid of anything, he could escape with me gagging him and head back to the storm spire to get the mirror
Hours pass, and finally, the mirror is where I need it. I put the glass back in and take to covering all the doors, windows, and openings with whatever I can find. The sun has started to peak, so when the last blanket is nailed to the windowframe, I sigh in relief.
Once I see the mirrors glow once again, I run over, untying my sacrifice and dragging him in front of it. Before dropping his unconscious body to the ground
"I got your sacrifice. Now speak. What happened. Truly."
And he did. With a wave of his hand, the man's body twitched and cracked, and he stood before me, removing his blindfold and gag with a laugh. "I knew you would get too curious. You always were. It was the one thing I loved about you the most."
#aaravos x reader#aaravos tdp#tdp#tdp aaravos#aaravos the dragon prince#the dragon prince#tdp x reader#aaravos#tdp rayla#tdp callum#love long lost pt 4
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Take care of my love
PAIRING | Loki Laufeyson x Avenger!Female!Reader
WORD COUNT | 1K
SUMMARY | You have been struggling lately, and the rest of the Avengers are starting to take notice of this. One night, Thor approaches you and catches you off-guard, making you suddenly feel very self-conscious about your arms and legs. Loki happens to be nearby and notices, making sure you're feeling safe as he comes to your rescue.
WARNING(S) | This is your official trigger warning. Do not proceed if any of these topics upset you. Mentions of past self-harm, mentions of depression, Thor being an asshole, Loki being a really great friend.
A/N | Iâd love to start writing more for Loki, so if you have a request, please let me know! It can be fluff, smut or angst - or a combination! Thanks in advance đ€
Likes, comments and reblogs will be very much appreciated đ
Main Masterlist | Loki Laufeyson Masterlist
You haven't been in the best headspace lately, and it is starting to show. Not just in the way you dress or look, but in your behavior too. Usually, you don't mind people seeing your scars nowadays, especially the Avengers, but your depression has been catching up with you again. The missions have been getting harder and it is difficult for you to stay focused when you're even going on one to begin with. Where you used to be the light of every room you walk into, now you're feeling like you bring everyone down with you as your mood turns sour very quickly.
You've rarely gotten out of bed these last few days, and your hygiene has been suffering as a result. When Steve calls you in for another mission, you text him to say you can't go, because you're not feeling well but you don't want to talk about it. He accepts but he's worried regardless, he's seen you go down a spiral like this before. Not much later, he's at your door, knocking softly. ''Y/N? Can I come in?'' he says but you send him away. ''Okay, but please take care of yourself, okay?'' he asks and you don't answer, you don't have the strength.
That evening, you have a sudden burst of energy, and decide to take advantage of it by taking a shower and getting yourself cleaned up a little. When you're done it's already close to midnight, so you just put on a pair of sleep shorts and a sports bra, so you can get a snack and something to drink before diving back into your bed. You look at yourself in the mirror and your eyes go over the scars on your arms, legs, and stomach, some from battle, but most from the years of self-harm. Some faded into almost nothing, some still pink from the fact that they're relatively fresh. You haven't done it in almost three months, but the scars don't fade that quickly, and you're well aware.
You finally manage to rip yourself away from the mirror and you walk towards the kitchen, not expecting anyone. When you arrive in the kitchen, however, you're met with a surprise in the form of a certain God of Thunder, as Thor is sitting in the kitchen eating a snack. ''Hey Y/N-'', he says before the rest of the words die in his mouth, and his eyes are grazing over your scars. You want to curl into a ball and cry right about now, because you're extremely uncomfortable at this moment, but you're trying to stay strong. ''What the⊠I thought you stopped harming yourself,'' Thor says as he walks up to you with big steps, and grabs your arms into his big hands.
''Thor, please let me go,'' you whimper, tears starting to trickle down your face. ''Not before you tell me why-'' he says bluntly, but suddenly you hear a familiar voice behind you. ''Brother, I believe the lady said she wants you to let go,'' Loki says and Thor immediately does, but not before looking at them for a few more seconds. ''I thought you didn't-'' he starts, but Loki doesn't let him finish. ''Stop, she's already in enough distress as is right now. Just go and don't be such a dick next time,'' he says shortly to Thor and he pulls his eyes away from you. ''I'm sorry,'' is all he says before walking out of the kitchen, and you sink into your knees, sobbing uncontrollably at this point.
''Is it okay if I touch you? I just want to hold you in my arms until you calm down, that's all,'' Loki says as he crouches in front of you, and you nod with your face in your hands. He wraps his arms around you softly as he whispers sweet nothings in your ear, calming you down. The two of you stay like that for what feels like forever, and multiple Avengers came to check up on you, but Loki whisked them away without saying a word. He didn't have to, because they all knew he had it under control, he is taking care of you right now.
When your sobs have turned down to soft sniffles, you take your hands away from your face and you look at Loki, who gives you nothing but a look of pure adoration. ''Hi beautiful girl, I'm glad to have you back,'' he says as he softly runs his fingers through your hair. ''Do you want me to bring you to your bedroom?'' he asks and you nod, and he picks you up so your wrap your arms and legs around his shoulders and waist. ''Ah, you're my little koala bear now!'' he softly jokes and you chuckle a little because he's not wrong.
All you can think of is how grateful you are right now. In all honesty, the two of you haven't spoken that many times, but you've always been nice to each other. You never expected him to do this, however, but you'll soak up every second of it while it lasts. He softly strokes your back in circles as he walks you to your bedroom, and he can feel you physically relax in his hold. ''It's okay, beautiful, you're going to be okay,'' he says in your hair and smiles softly. He's glad he can help you like this, and he's honestly happy that he walked by when he did, because he doesn't want to think about what happened if he hadn't.
When the two of you arrived in your bedroom, he softly puts you down on the bed, and as he wants to walk away, you finally say something. ''Thank you, Loki. For saving me,'' you say, and all he says in response is ''Please, don't mention it. I'm just taking care of my love,'' he says before bending over and placing a kiss on your forehead. ''Stay, please,'' you say and he does. He strips down until he's just wearing pants before climbing in the bed with you, as you curl up into his arms, your head against his chest. ''We're going to talk about this later, right now, you need your sleep,'' he says and you agree, slowly falling into a deep sleep in his arms. You've never felt safer in your entire life than you do right now.
#loki laufeyson#loki laufeyson x female reader#loki laufeyson x reader#loki laufeyson x y/n#loki laufeyson fanfiction#loki laufeyson fluff#loki laufeyson angst#loki#loki x female reader#loki x reader#loki x y/n#loki fanfiction#loki fluff#loki angst
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hi! im not sure if youâve spoken about this before but would be so interested to hear your thoughts on the dynamic between ramsay and the original reek? like the combined matters of reek already being a serial rapist and murderer before he even meets ramsay, the abject weirdness of an adult man being best friends with a child/preteen, and the fact that ramsay names his torture victim after reek despite no indication that he ever tortured the original reek? i always felt george was hinting at some kind of cycle of abuse thing with the whole âwho corrupted whoâ line. anyway sorry this ask is so long but i love your analysis and would really like to hear what you think!
hello đ©·â€ïžđ€ firstly thank you for your kind words!! i have spoken about this before, but i'm happy to speak about it again, ty for your interest! i'm honestly a little surprised this is such an underdiscussed topic in general!! but not too surprised.
in short: yes. i completely agree with you. from my reading of the text it is obvious that reek was sexually abusing ramsay. i've made a few posts about it:
1. most plainly here
2. and i also touched on it here where i talked about ramsay's mama willingly and purposefully putting him in danger
I went through asearchoficeandfire and pulled every mention of reek i, the manservant that roose gifted to ramsay, so let's go through them all together
the rest is under the cut for discussion of child abuse, endangerment, neglect, and csa, as well as rape and necrophilia
there are three "reeks" in the text. reek, the manservant that roose bolton gave to ramsay and his mother. reek, who is ramsay in disguise in winterfell. and reek, who is the tortured remains of theon greyjoy. to keep things simpler and easier to follow i am only going to call these three people reek, ramsay, and theon, ignoring who might have been called "reek" at what time.
"Lord Bolton has never acknowledged the boy, so far as I know," Ser Rodrik said. "I confess, I do not know him." "Few do," [Lady Hornwood] replied. "He lived with his mother until two years past, when young Domeric died and left Bolton without an heir. That was when he brought his bastard to the Dreadfort. The boy is a sly creature by all accounts, and he has a servant who is almost as cruel as he is. Reek, they call the man. It's said he never bathes. They hunt together, the Bastard and this Reek, and not for deer. I've heard tales, things I can scarce believe, even of a Bolton. And now that my lord husband and my sweet son have gone to the gods, the Bastard looks at my lands hungrily." Bran wanted to give the lady a hundred men to defend her rights, but Ser Rodrik only said, "He may look, but should he do more I promise you there will be dire retribution. You will be safe enough, my lady . . . though perhaps in time, when your grief is passed, you may find it prudent to wed again."
acok, bran ii
this is the first we hear of reek and ramsay, and it's notable that they've only been over at the dreadfort + its surrounding lands for two years now. we learn later in adwd that reek and ramsay have been together since ramsay was a child, but they were living in weeping water with ramsay's mother
It was a few days after Alebelly's bath that Ser Rodrik returned to Winterfell with his prisoner, a fleshy young man with fat moist lips and long hair who smelled like a privy, even worse than Alebelly had. "Reek, he's called," Hayhead said when Bran asked who it was. "I never heard his true name. He served the Bastard of Bolton and helped him murder Lady Hornwood, they say." The Bastard himself was dead, Bran learned that evening over supper. Ser Rodrik's men had caught him on Hornwood land doing something horrible (Bran wasn't quite sure what, but it seemed to be something you did without your clothes) and shot him down with arrows as he tried to ride away. They came too late for poor Lady Hornwood, though. After their wedding, the Bastard had locked her in a tower and neglected to feed her. Bran had heard men saying that when Ser Rodrik had smashed down the door he found her with her mouth all bloody and her fingers chewed off.
acok, bran v
the above is referencing ramsay, of course, disguised as reek. here we have the account of how ramsay and reek were caught on lady hornwood's lands after they had kidnapped and raped her from the stark perspective (and filtered through bran's 7-year-old perspective as well) but a little later on we hear it straight from the bastard's mouth:
"Aye, but [Ser Rodrick] thought us friends. A common mistake. When the old fool gave me his hand, I took half his arm instead. Then I let him see my face." The man put both hands to his helm and lifted it off his head, holding it in the crook of his arm. "Reek," Theon said, disquieted. How did a serving man get such fine armor? The man laughed. "The wretch is dead." He stepped closer. "The girl's fault. If she had not run so far, his horse would not have lamed, and we might have been able to flee. I gave him mine when I saw the riders from the ridge. I was done with her by then, and he liked to take his turn while they were still warm. I had to pull him off her and shove my clothes into his handsâcalfskin boots and velvet doublet, silver-chased swordbelt, even my sable cloak. Ride for the Dreadfort, I told him, bring all the help you can. Take my horse, he's swifter, and here, wear the ring my father gave me, so they'll know you came from me. He'd learned better than to question me. By the time they put that arrow through his back, I'd smeared myself with the girl's filth and dressed in his rags. They might have hanged me anyway, but it was the only chance I saw." He rubbed the back of his hand across his mouth. "And now, my sweet prince, there was a woman promised me, if I brought two hundred men. Well, I brought three times as many, and no green boys nor fieldhands neither, but my father's own garrison."
acok, theon vi
ok just a quick pause i LOVE ramsay's little monologue here it's SO CRAZY GOOD it's so good it's so
like telling theon to his face "aye, but he thought us friends. a common mistake." is CRAZY. it's so good!!!! after so many chapters of build up too the whole thing feels like being nailed down to a chair and put in thumb screw and every time there's a new bran or theon chapter they're tightened just a half-turn before this reveal where your thumbs are sliced clean off by a scimitar IT'S SO GOOD RRAUUUGHHH
sorry i got distracted. this li'l bit is interesting because it sets ramsay up as In Charge. he calls the shots. "[Reek]'d learned better than to question me," he says, and he sacrifices reek to the stark riders to save his own skin. the way ramsay tells this story sets reek up as disposable and submissive. a servant who is below ramsay's station, defers to him, gives obeisance, and gives his life for his master. (notable as well that this is not Lady Hornwood who they are raping the corpse of, but an anonymous northern girl, likely one of the smallfolk who live by and/or in the Hornwood keep)
ramsay's language here also makes it clear that this is habitual for him and reek. he likes to hunt girls, rape them, and kill them, and reek likes to fuck their corpses before they've cooled. romance. this was established somewhat back in bran ii when lady hornwood first introduced the pair, but we now have it straight from ramsay's mouth that this is their habitual game.
"I knew the first Reek. He stank, though not for want of washing. I have never known a cleaner creature, truth be told. He bathed thrice a day and wore flowers in his hair as if he were a maiden. Once, when my second wife was still alive, he was caught stealing scent from her bedchamber. I had him whipped for that, a dozen lashes. Even his blood smelled wrong. The next year he tried it again. This time he drank the perfume and almost died of it. It made no matter. The smell was something he was born with. A curse, the smallfolk said. The gods had made him stink so that men would know his soul was rotting. My old maester insisted it was a sign of sickness, yet the boy was otherwise as strong as a young bull. No one could stand to be near him, so he slept with the pigs ⊠until the day that Ramsay's mother appeared at my gates to demand that I provide a servant for my bastard, who was growing up wild and unruly. I gave her Reek. It was meant to be amusing, but he and Ramsay became inseparable. I do wonder, though ⊠was it Ramsay who corrupted Reek, or Reek Ramsay?" His lordship glanced at the new Reek with eyes as pale and strange as two white moons. "What was he whispering whilst he unchained you?"
adwd, reek iii
the above comes two books later, and now that we've gotten lady hornwood's perspective (and this is a perspective that comes from the general northern grapevine of people who live between winterfell and the dreadfort) and ramsay's perspective (which we will soon learn to doubt) we get roose's.
it's interesting too, i had always pictured reek as a grown adult man, but my friend @wormlips pointed out to me recently that roose does call him a "boy" in the above passage. i think i always pictured him as an older man partially since theon is transformed through his year of torture in an abandoned shipping container into an old man. i had just always made the logical leap that in addition to making theon smell terrible so that he is more similar to reek, purposefully torturing and starving him and turning him into a bent old man was also to emulate reek. to recreate him in a way. so i have always pictured him as being WAY older than ramsay, like rams is between seven and ten and reek is like... forty five. but wormie also pointed out that drinking perfume seems like a childish thing to do. i can see the sense in their reading of it! i have personally never pictured the two of them as being close in age, but rather ramsay as a child and reek as an old(er) man. i think the two incidents of reek stealing perfume might have happened when he was young but that he was an adult by the time ramsay's mother came to the dreadfort to ask for a serving man.
it's interesting also that roose implies with his question of who corrupted who that reek was not a serial rapist + murderer before he was given to ramsay. but idfk about that. the thing is that all of these people are unreliable narrators, so it's kind of a murky picture of a purposefully obscured past.
it doesn't make sense to me that the smallfolk would claim the gods cursed reek to "stink so that men would know his soul was rotting" if he wasn't already murdering and/or raping girls or defiling corpses. why would that be how they explained his smell if he was just a normal guy with a medical condition?
it's possible that roose only gave reek to ramsay and his mother because of his smell. because ramsay's mother wanted him to give them a servant to help her raise the boy so roose gave her one who smelled like an open grave being used as a latrine. but that doesn't seem like the kind of joke roose bolton would play. not to me! roose giving the troublesome mother of his rapebaby a man with a proven history of horrible violence? that seems like the kind of joke roose bolton would play. to me.
also reek and ramsay becoming "inseparable" reads as far less sinister if you picture them being the same age. i do not.
another point to reek being significantly older is that it wouldn't make sense for roose to send a child over to a woman who was asking for childcare support. even if he did, she'd send him back. he couldn't do any more work around the mill than ramsay could if they were both children, he would just be an extra mouth to feed. so even if he isn't quadrouple ramsay's age like i'm picturing him, he would definitely be older. like 16-7 at minimum i think.
to your point about cycles of violence, i would say that ramsay's entire existence as a character is about cycles of violence. the cycles are certainly cycling!!! but that's not exactly what i get from this particular snippet. i take roose's question about whether reek corrupted ramsay or ramsay reek in the same way i take his telling ramsay that his way has always been in favor of "a peaceful rule and a quiet people". he's full of shit!!!
my reading of it is that rams was obviously already a violent child. maybe he was killing animals, hurting his mother, hurting his fellow children. but he was a child. and reek was an adult man with a history of violence towards others. that violence isn't explicitly stated in the text but i think if the smallfolk were saying that his soul was rotting then it had to be pretty bad. i interpret this as reek already being a rapist and serial killer before he ever met ramsay (which is your reading too!).
"Has my bastard ever told you how I got him?" That [Theon] did know, to his relief. "Yes, my ⊠m'lord. You met his mother whilst out riding and were smitten by her beauty." "Smitten?" Bolton laughed. "Did he use that word? Why, the boy has a singer's soul ⊠though if you believe that song, you may well be dimmer than the first Reek. Even the riding part is wrong. I was hunting a fox along the Weeping Water when I chanced upon a mill and saw a young woman washing clothes in the stream. The old miller had gotten himself a new young wife, a girl not half his age. She was a tall, willowy creature, very healthy-looking. Long legs and small firm breasts, like two ripe plums. Pretty, in a common sort of way. The moment that I set eyes on her I wanted her. Such was my due. The maesters will tell you that King Jaehaerys abolished the lord's right to the first night to appease his shrewish queen, but where the old gods rule, old customs linger. The Umbers keep the first night too, deny it as they may. Certain of the mountain clans as well, and on Skagos ⊠well, only heart trees ever see half of what they do on Skagos. "This miller's marriage had been performed without my leave or knowledge. The man had cheated me. So I had him hanged, and claimed my rights beneath the tree where he was swaying. If truth be told, the wench was hardly worth the rope. The fox escaped as well, and on our way back to the Dreadfort my favorite courser came up lame, so all in all it was a dismal day.
adwd, reek iii
the above always sends a chill down my spine... "a peaceful rule. a quiet people. that has always been my way. make it yours." you delusional lying bastard đ©·đ©·đ©·
this passage is notable as well because it shows us that rams is an unreliable narrator. it's not the first time either!!
Ramsay was clad in black and pinkâblack boots, black belt and scabbard, black leather jerkin over a pink velvet doublet slashed with dark red satin. In his right ear gleamed a garnet cut in the shape of a drop of blood. Yet for all the splendor of his garb, he remained an ugly man, big-boned and slope-shouldered, with a fleshiness to him that suggested that in later life he would run to fat. His skin was pink and blotchy, his nose broad, his mouth small, his hair long and dark and dry. His lips were wide and meaty, but the thing men noticed first about him were his eyes. He had his lord father's eyesâsmall, close-set, queerly pale. Ghost grey, some men called the shade, but in truth his eyes were all but colorless, like two chips of dirty ice. At the sight of Reek, he smiled a wet-lipped smile. "There he is. My sour old friend." To the men beside him he said, "Reek has been with me since I was a boy. My lord father gave him to me as a token of his love."
adwd, reek i
ah, but that's not true, is it, rams? your father gave him to you as a jest, to spite you and your mother. he was given to you both to harm you and it is a quirky little miracle that he ended up harming others with you instead.
rams tells himself and other stories about how he was welcomed into his father's house and beloved by him. how his mother was a great beauty who his father was in love with. and it's all lies. all dust upon the air.
i'll also note that roose describes reek as being "dim". i don't think there's much truth to that tbh. i think roose is proven time and again to view all the smallfolks as dumber than him. beneath him and mostly inhuman. this is really well defined in arya's acok chapters when she serves as his cup bearer and she is totally invisible to him.
"A fine rule, m'lord." "The woman disobeyed me, though. You see what Ramsay is. She made him, her and Reek, always whispering in his ear about his rights. He should have been content to grind corn. Does he truly think that he can ever rule the north?"
adwd, reek iii
[ALICENT HIGHTOWER VOICE] AND AEMOND... YOU KNOW WHAT AEMOND IS.
this btw is where my characterization of ramsay's mama really takes root. i think it's obvious enough what she was doing without this explicit confirmation from roose, especially with how ramsay acts and how he speaks about himself. but this is the crux of it. she had everything taken from her. her husband murdered and her raped under his still-warm corpse. and then she carried her pregnancy to term in the hopes that the gods would grant her a boy who could be given a place in the world that she never could be.
to me this is where the cycles start cycling. not with reek and ramsay, but with a desperate, violated, brutalized woman giving her son back to her rapist and insisting that he claim him. like, if she were... i'm not certain that i would call her a "Good Victim" for doing this but she could have aborted her pregnancy. tried to rebuild her life now that her husband was dead and she was physically brutalized. aboritcides are plentiful in westeros. or if she wanted to keep her pregnancy to term she could have lived the rest of her quiet life with her child in weeping waters in the shadow of the dreadfort. and she could have kept her son far from the leech lord who brutalized her.
but she didn't!!!!!!!! she shoved that baby right into the wide open razor toothed mouth of the monster who brutalized her!!! she knew exactly what kind of man lord roose bolton was and she was determined to get her child recognized by him and taken into his fold.
i love that rams is like... a personification of her all consuming rage as well as a personification of his father's brutality. it's great.
"He fights for you," Reek blurted out. "He's strong." "Bulls are strong. Bears. I have seen my bastard fight. He is not entirely to blame. Reek was his tutor, the first Reek, and Reek was never trained at arms. Ramsay is ferocious, I will grant you, but he swings that sword like a butcher hacking meat."
adwd, reek iii
further evidence of reek being significantly older than ramsay! a child would not tutor another child. further evidence also that reek was already a brutally violent man before he and rams started playing the most dangerous game in the woods. he taught ramsay how to hack people apart with a broadsword.
also calling reek ramsay's "tutor" here reinforces to me that their relationship was inappropriate. odd for a young child and his teacher to be "inseparable".
"He's not afraid of anyone, m'lord." "He should be. Fear is what keeps a man alive in this world of treachery and deceit. Even here in Barrowton the crows are circling, waiting to feast upon our flesh. The Cerwyns and the Tallharts are not to be relied on, my fat friend Lord Wyman plots betrayal, and Whoresbane ⊠the Umbers may seem simple, but they are not without a certain low cunning. Ramsay should fear them all, as I do. The next time you see him, tell him that." "Tell him ⊠tell him to be afraid?" Reek felt ill at the very thought of it. "M'lord, I ⊠if I did that, he'd âŠ" "I know." Lord Bolton sighed. "His blood is bad. He needs to be leeched. The leeches suck away the bad blood, all the rage and pain. No man can think so full of anger. Ramsay, though ⊠his tainted blood would poison even leeches, I fear."
adwd reek iii
aaaaaaaaand back to ramsay's bad blood. "I had him whipped for that, a dozen lashes. Even his blood smelled wrong." :> where did all the bad blood come from, i wonder? his sire perhaps?
i love roose describing rams as full of anger. that's his mama's anger đ©· calcified by roose's rejection of him and his refusal to accept this. spurred on by reek's proclivities and by reek's own rejection by his liege lord. just a horrible layer cake of brutality and violence and abuse.
that's all the quotes i have for you!!!
to me it is obvious from the above text that reek sexually abused ramsay as a child. possibly when he got older and bigger and stronger and reek was a much much older man, smaller and frailer, he really was meek and obedient to ramsay. but it didn't start out that way. his tutor would not behave with deference towards him. the man who taught him how to hack meat apart with a broadsword and how to hunt women through the woods before skinning them was not... subservient to him.
the closeness between them is suspect just because of their age difference and further suspect because of who reek is and what he does.
i also think that ramsay would never see this as sexual abuse. i think ramsay and theon have exactly the same frame of mind here where it isn't possible for them to be sexually abused or taken advantage of because they're men and that doesn't happen to men.
it's obvious that ramsay thinks of his relationship with reek fondly. fondly enough that he tells people reek was a token of his father's love. fondly enough that he creates a new reek for himself after the first one dies.
to your point about ramsay torturing theon into his reek when he never tortured reek, i do read part of that as revenge. like a sort of inversion of what was done unto him. i don't think that reek tortured ramsay the way ramsay tortures theon! but i do think he assaulted him. a major theme with ramsay is the playing of parts (a theme intensified and continued when jeyne is brought to winterfell as arya) so i see his sexual abuse and torture of theon as an inversion of what reek did to him.
i mean, i think ramsay tortures theon for other personal reasons. like resenting his beauty, his status as a lord's legitimate son, and the way he treated him in winterfell when he took it over. and just because he's a sadist who likes torturing people to get off. but also i like to think that it was an inversion of what reek did to him.
i'm unsurprised also that this isn't really talked about because the asoiaf fandom in general loves to say that the cycles are cycling but hates to admit that the evil monstrous characters who hurt people were also hurt themselves. so it's like bad fandom politics to say that ramsay bolton, who is a serial killing serial rapist, was also raped as a child. and put into situations with people he never should have been in because he was a child.
this is way too long it's way too many words it took me like the whole day to write it!!! i hope you read it to the end and don't get bored!!! thank you for your question mwah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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hi!
iâm so sorry if youâve already made a post or answered an ask like this before, but i remember you saying a couple times how the lovesquare is queer-coded.
i think thatâs such an interesting observation, and i was wondering if youâd be willing to elaborate on that a little more?
iâd love to hear your thoughts!! and thank you for taking the time to read this. :)
Absolutely Anon! Thanks for dropping by! â€ïžđ€
Iâm sure there are a lot of wonderful, more complete posts on the topic out there â my Sentikids tunnel vision means I donât always grant other characters/relationships the attention they deserve. That being said, here are some things that popped into my head:
1. Secret identities
You know âem, you love âem. Secret identities are the core of the show â the very reason the Love Square is a square! Hiding part or the entirety of who you are for safety reasons is a theme most queer people unfortunately relate to, and the great thing is that we get two very different perspectives on the matter from our two protagonists.
For Adrien, Chat Noir means freedom: being away from his fatherâs grasp (read: from a power structure that tries to sculpt him into something perfect and bland â more on that later) allows him to become bolder, funnier, more like himself or at least more like the person he wants to be â which very prominently features being in love with Ladybug, aka exploring romantic connections outside of Kagami, the only acceptable option for Adrien.
And yet⊠Chat Noir is also something dangerous. When Chat Noir gets rejected, Adrien tries to renounce his Miraculous, aka to bury this part of himself as far down as possible; when Chat Noir gets unmasked by Ladybug, the object of his affections, ITâS THE LITERAL END THE WORLD (twice and a half now). Thereâs an entire post to be made about Cat Walker and Aspik and Adrien folding himself into what he thinks Ladybugâs perfect partner should be.
The point is: Adrien being himself puts him (and the people he loves) in harmâs way, both emotionally and physically. You see the themes, I see the themes, we cry together and hold hands.
Marinette, on the other hand, fucking hates being Ladybug for most of the series. She wants to be a normal girl (!) with a normal life (!!) and itâs just not happening. The reason? Thereâs something about her that no one knows yet (!!!) âcause she has a secret (!!!!).
If anything, being Ladybug keeps getting in the way of her romantic shenanigans: she canât be with Adrien/Chat Noir because Apocalypse, she canât be with Cat Walker because her Lucky Charm doesnât like him, she canât be with Luka because she has to lie all the time! Not only that, it endangers her friendships as well, as seen in The Gang of Secrets. Look at the wording of her talk with Alya in this episode:
youtube
âI wonât try to figure it out our force it out of you. If you canât tell me whatâs in your heart⊠itâs your right.â
âWill we still be friends?â
âMarinette, Iâm your best friend, and Iâll always be. Thatâs why it kills me that I canât help you with whateverâs making you feel so alone.â
[âŠ] âYou know why I broke up with Luka? Not because I donât like him! Heâs amazing! Itâs because thereâs something that I canât tell him. You know why I have to forget Adrien? For the exact same reason. Youâre right! I keep secrets, I lie all the time, I lie to my friends, to my parents, everyone, and the worst thing is I canât do it any other way. [âŠ] I tell you, things will never be the same between us again, it will mess up everything â maybe even destroy it!
âMarinette, Iâm your very best friend.â
âAnd I⊠Iâm Ladybug.â
If this isnât a coming out scene, I donât know what is.
Of course, Marinette progressively steps into her role as a superheroine and learns to navigate her relationships accordingly â but sheâs still carrying this secret that sets her apart from the rest of the world. Itâs the othering, isolating part of queerness, and itâs really well portrayed throughout the seasons.
2. The Adrigaminette-to-Lukadrinette pipeline
I cannot not mention it, because what the hell was going on here.
Adrigaminette felt less like a love triangle and more like the girls voting themselves out of the polycule in quick succession. We got an entire episode of the three of them running around, holding hands and jumping in ballpits together. Both Adrien and Kagami went heart eyes over Marinetteâs loose hair.
Then AndrĂ© came in with his cart and clown shoes and said âNah you canât all share the Magical Ice Cream Of Romance. :( Yeah sorry my ice cream is for two people and two people only. :( Also I guess I could serve Marigami and Marigami only but the flavours would taste gross together. :( Donât look into the subtext too muchâ HE JUST HAD TO RUIN IT FOR THEM DIDNâT HE
Iâm really happy he ruined it for them, for bird reasons, but still. Adrigami is also the one time we get to see Chat Noir ruin Adrienâs love life, and most of the fuel for my aroace Adrien thoughts, but I digress â LUKADRINETTE
Luka is in the unique position of knowing both Ladybug and Chat Noirâs identities, aka the most secret part of their souls, and immediately went in repression mode in Wishmaker upon finding out his two crushes were basically soulmates. It pays off in Migration, when he becomes their de facto safe place, the one person they know has both of their backs no matter what. Just look at the way they all look at each other:
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With Marinette knowing she does not have to lie to him anymore and Adrien being Adrien. Iâm sorry but in my mind they both independently proposed to him right then and there. This is the timeline I live in now.
Parenthesis over. Letâs get back to business:
3. Feligami Adrinette
By which I mean the themes explored throughout their relationship.
Adrinetteâs story has always been about rescuing Adrien from the abusive environment he grew up in, as Marc and Nathaniel so helpfully drove across through their delightful storyboards:
(Note the gender role reversal here, blurring the lines between Marinette and Ladybug as she takes on the role of the knight in shining armour, while Adrien is the princess locked away in her tower⊠Adrienâs gender deserves another other essay in itself, but for today, letâs just agree that he is Not Cis.)
In S5, this theme escalates into a full-on Romeo and Juliet situation. Gabriel and Tomoe are of course the main obstacles to Adrinetteâs happy ending: given A. Gabrielâs history of forcing his son into a mold, B. the strict expectations placed on Tsurugi women and C. the oppressive, uniformly white world they want to create through Perfect Alliance (Perfect!!! Alliance!!! Rings!!! Marriage!!!), itâs not a stretch to see them as the messengers of a certain vision of masculinity, femininity and relationships. You see it, I see it, Marinette doesnât see it because sheâs too busy sobbing on the floor, which finally brings me to my favourite thing ever:
âBut Nina!â I hear you protest, âyouâre making everything about Feligami again!â To which I reply: first of all, yes I am. Second of all, you canât stop me. Third of all â
Third of all, characters donât exist in a vacuum, and this is particularly true of the Adrinette & Feligami quartet. Kagamiâs name literally means mirror; Felix is a foil to Adrien, of course, but also to Marinette (and Gabriel and Emilie and a bunch of other characters and I love him so much but letâs not stray too far from the point). Of course Feligami is going to parallel and contrast Adrinette, especially since Felix is Aware of the Themes and Motifs and has decided to make it everyoneâs problem.
So in June (!) 2023, a little thing called Representation (!!) aired.
There are sooo many things to say about the queer-coding of the Senti-lore in general and of Felix and Feligami in particular. Today, though, I want to draw your attention to the way the kids talk about themselves at the end of the play, drawing clear narrative links to the Love Square (and most specifically Ladybug):
âYou know what itâs like to not be able to love the one you want.â
âTo constantly fight to save the people you love.â
âTo have to lie all the time and never reveal who you truly are.â
[Wipes a single tear away] They grow up so fastâŠ
At the end of the day, this is what both Feligami and the Love Square are all about: embracing who you are and the love you feel, no matter its form, in a world that perpetually tries to enslave and/or kill you for it. I donât know about you, but I find it hella queer in nature.
Thank you for coming to my DUUSUTalk! đđŠ
#And they say this show is badly writtenâŠ#Iâm not saying itâs perfect. No piece of media ever is. But COME ON donât tell me Representation isnât brilliant#miraculous ladybug#marinette dupain cheng#ladybug#adrien agreste#chat noir#love square#felix graham de vanily#kagami tsurugi#feligami#luka couffaine#lukadrinette#adrigaminette#random ramblings
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Classics studentâs guide to romanticising november
While I personally love november, I understand why some people canât really always appreciate it; especially where I live, it gets real gray around this time, when autumn still lingers and Christmas and winter are quite not here yet. A liminal space. Here are some little tips, habits, things from wellness to whatever that I like to enjoy in november when Iâm not cooped up in the library battling with the attic verb system. :)
Coffee to wake you up in the morning, maybe another one at lunch if your short nights sleep is still lingering; different teas throughout the day to keep you warm from the inside as the weather gets chillier each passing day
a bowl of (warm) porridge with your favorite toppings in the morning, either prepared at home or ordered at a cafe with your friend
Dark red nails, preferably long, preferably with small metallic accents (I prefer gold and bronze, silver works very well too)
Seasonal fruits and vegetables; pomegranates! Persephoneâs journey to Hades has once again taken place.
Adding a little bit of darkness to your eyes, itâs your pick whether thatâs with kayal, smudged eyeliner, eyeshadow or just a gracious layer of mascara; but remember to not rub your eyes when you stayed too late at the library translating Catullusâ latin poetry! Alternatively, just rock those dark underyes baby
November is the month of poets, artists, thinkers, lovers and wanderers, you know what they say. Write, draw, think, love, wander! I keep a diary where I try to write everyday. Try to find small pleasures in the mundane and write them down. Beauty is omnipresent. I also have been trying to sketch more when I donât have the energy nor the time to complete complex illustrations and paintings. Small but meaningful.
Pretty candles, scented or unscented, perhaps each one lit as an honoring to a god, goddess, daimon or your lares; in the colder months I like to light a candle in honor of Vesta/Hestia and ask her to keep my apartment warm
Preparing for winter by slowly switching to more thicker and moisturizing skin- and haircare products. Do this as you run out of one product, donât give in to overconsumption, be mindful with what you buy and what you put on your skin and hair
Remember to move your body. Whether this is walking, running, stretching, strength-training, pilates⊠the options are endless and the choice is yours! Even little movement can help you fight that seasonal depression.
Big scarves, long jackets, leather gloves. Gives you an aura of mystery and keeps you protected from the weather
These are just some of my favorite things at this time. If you read through all of this Iâd really love to hear if you have your own sacred little rituals around this time of the year. Thank you for being here, remember to be kind to yourself and others, and speak up for those whose voices are being silenced. Go make your novembers mythicalđ€
Valete,
Mauve
#aesthetic#aesthete#classics#classics student#dark academia#girlblogging#it girl#moodboard#study blog#studyblr#that girl#romantisize study#romantisizing life#roman empire#the secret history#just girly things#girlhood#inspiration#inspo#manifestation#loa tumblr#vision board#self love#this is a girlblog#literature#ancient history#ancient rome#ancient greece#greek mythology#roman mythology
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I came from your post saying it was a really good episode, and that you loved it. It went against the grain and I feel the same way!
Tommy had all this talk of wanting a family, that the 118 could be his family but he still broke up with Buck because of what seems like this own insecurities. He canât believe that Buck really wants him to move in, itâs like a shock to the system. When Buck confesses in 7x04 Tommy is surprised, and in 8x06 assumes Buck is going to be the one to break up.
To me, it comes across like heâs going through his own insecurities of âdoes Buck really love him?â Maybe itâs biphobia, since heâs âbuckâs firstâ, or maybe heâs just not as strong as he presents himself to us. I knew Abby would be connecting them and I thought it was great, honestly. Buck was the rebound, donât get me started Abbyâs lowkey creepy behaviour too before they got serious, and as it comes heâs now dating her ex-fiancĂ©.
The amount of teasing they did before this episode makes me hope they fix it. That they resolve it. The interviews made it seem like a bump in the road and not *The End*. I hope they find a way to keep him around even if theyâre not together. Lou is an amazing actor and I relate to Tommy so so so much!
However aside I do think the writing of this episode wasnât particularly good, it felt rushed and had me devastated at the end. I hope heâs not gone, and while I know they probably wonât be end game I can keep dreaming.
I love your positivity and I love your posts I canât wait to hear more of your opinions!
Thankyou so much! Youâre pretty much on the same train of though I am here, as well!
I really, really relate to Tommy and again while Iâm projecting I saw what you saw with the insecurities. I also am starting to get the sneaking suspicion that Tommy panicked, cut and ran before he got in too deep because heâs done this before. Abby (and ugh I wonât start on her đ) is the only past relationship of his that we have confirmed, so thereâs potential there for it to be that!
And oh man, Tommy saying heâs not the last guy, the endgame, the forever partner got me so hard in the fucking feels. Because that is 100% why I relate to him. Iâm that guy. Iâm the guy that gets a fun however long until we go our separate ways and they find their forever human. But Iâm still alone. And Iâve personally screwed up several potentially good relationships because of the trauma I have around that- so why canât Tommy? Thatâs where my mind goes, and again thereâs so many ideas to be had from that as a storyline too.
I really, really donât think this is the last we will see of Tommy or Lou. Fandom is upset, but the amount of people from the general audience I see commenting criticism on FB and Insta is making me super hopeful (because the GA loved Tommy and thatâs how we got him for more eps in the first place!) I was nearly cry laughing at the amount of commenters saying their boomer parents flipped their shit about it! đđđ
My crystal ball is too cloudy to see into the future for realsies, but I rediscovered my love of shouting into the tumblr void thanks to this show, so Iâll stick around and share my ridiculous ideas and try to make people smile for a long while yet. And please feel free to keep sending me your takes too, because yours are really awesome as well. This fandom is pretty darn good, all things considered!đ€đ€đ€
#911 abc#lou ferrigno jr#tommy kinard#evan buckley#bucktommy#911 spoilers#tevan#ask catgirl#catgirlthoughts
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"Levi...LEVI!" you screamed as loud as you could. The rumbling had just ended. Eren was gone. When I saw Mikasa holding his head, I broke down in tears along with Armin. He was like my brother I never had. And I couldn't bear the thought of losing Levi too now.
"Lev- LEVI PLEASE ANSWER ME!" You yelled frantically, while looking around. The only sound, were the cries from the people who finally got the chance to hold their dear one in their arms again. And I needed this too.
When I finally caught a glimpse of the familiar raven hair, I started running. I saw him sitting there, looking lost. Sad. He wasn't really able to move. I could hear my name coming out from his lips. He was scraing for me too.
When he saw me, he made the move to get up but he couldn't. I reached his side and hugged him. Hugged him as tight as possible. He hugged me back, the same way. Fearing that we might disappear from each other's arms.
"Levi..." i whispered and felt tears running down my face. He grabbed the back of my neck and rested my head on the crook of his neck.
"Sshhh it's already darling. We're here together." He voice was shaking. He looked like he was going to cry so hard.
"I thought I lost you too. I was so scared when I didn't saw you anywhere." My hand went to his cheek and rubbed the skin there softly.
He wanted to say so much more but he felt like his throat was closing. But he didn't need to. I could see it in his eyes.
The words he wanted to say. Everything he had in his mind. He might never shown me with actions and words at thebeginning, what he truly felt. But I knew when I looked in his eyes. Cause his eyes were the mirror of his soul. And it was enough for me to know, what he truly felt.
Levi looked me in the eyes and smiled fondly.
"It's over." He said, as if trying to actually comprehend all this.
"And we're still here. Together. Like we promised all those times before." His hand played with my hair.
"Yeah. We're here now. We're ok." I whispered back, hugging his side.
"I don't know if you still want to stay with me though." I gave him a questioning look. He chuckled.
"Look at me. I don't know if I can offer you what you truly deserve. A life full of great and beautiful memories. I'm incapable of providing you what you need. And my heart breaks just at the thought of losing you, but if this is what it takes, so you can actually have a happy life then-" before he could finish, I pressed our lips together.
His arm circled my waist, pulling me closer.
Then I pulled away a little.
"What I need is you. I have always wanted you. Since the very beginning. I don't need luxury or big homes or anything fancy in order to be happy. Cause I'm happy with you. And that's more than enough I'm serious."
He was in a little shock and then he grabbed my hand and said "Then let's leave, my love. Together." He kissed my forehead. "Let's go stay in this dream house of yours you talked about nonstop." He teased me. I smiled remembering the days, where me and him laid on his bed, and I was talking about how I pictured our future, while the only thing he did was rolling his eyes, trying to act like he didn't care and all.
"Together." I said, hugging him tight.
After all these, it is hard to go back like nothing ever happened. But since we have each other, we're ready to star something new.
~~~~~~
Another Levi post cuz I love this man sm ( â„Ïâ„ )
Thank you for reading đ€
all rights reserved. please do not copy, modify, repost, translate, or claim my content as yours.
#attack on titan x reader#attack on titan season 4#attack on titan imagines#attack on titan levi imagines#attack on titan#levi aot#levi ackerman x reader#levi ackerman imagine#levi ackerman#levi x reader#aot#aot season 4#aot levi#aot imagines#shinjeki no kyojin
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Hello! đ€ I have an ask, what do you think Thranduil would think of himself if he stumbled upon a precarious human who was injured and found himself falling in love with her? đ€đ» could you write something like that? đđŒ maybe he drapes his amazing cloak around her when she panics over her predicament?? Thank you in advanced đ€đ€
I am very happy to write a thranduil story for you! I hope you'll enjoy, it's my first time writing for him đ
Your eyes were just starting to open as you felt the warm sun shine through the window, the night before you had stayed in a pub called The Prancing Pony, and the room you were staying in had a window right next to your bed. You sit up it bed and rub the sleepiness from your face, knowing another god damn day was about to start. You were a lone warrior who traveled all over middle earth, you had no home, no family and your bed was pretty much anywhere you could find at the end of the night.
Weather that would be a bed like this one, or the forest floor on your travels, it's safe to say you much preferred the bed to the ground. You had stayed at the Prancing Pony many times before, as it was a good place inbetween travels where you could rest up and carry on with your days. You would travel across middle earth and help to rid villages of dangers, weather it be a monster, a band of orcs, or worse. It was just the norm for you now, and there didn't seem to be anything that would change that, not that you knew of at least.
You got dressed into your light armour then made your way downstairs to the man behind the bar, he offered you some food for the road after you paid him, and you accepted happily. Once you left The Prancing Pony, you walked over to the horse stables and collected your horse Thunder, aptly named because the first time you met him he was just a pony and he helped you out of a rather nasty thunderstorm. As you were walking Thunder down the path, a man ran up to you looking rather out of breath, and quite panicked. "Miss! Miss! I see you have weapons on your back! Are you a fighter?!" "Technically yes, I've slain orcs and monsters, and I can hold my own in a fight" "Really? Oh thank the gods! Please, I need your help" "What's wrong?" "It's my son! He ran away from home after an argument, spouting that he was the strongest in the family and he would prove it! He's ran away to Mirkwood forest" "Mirkwood? Why Mirkwood?" "He wanted to bring back the head of the monstrous spider! But I told him that there were too many and it would be suicide! Please, can you try to find him?......I....I know there is a chance he's already gone....if the worst has happened, please could you being his body back so we can bury him in our family plot?"
There was so much pain in his voice, like the thought of his son being dead was too hard to bare. "I will try to find him, and I will try to bring him back to you alive" "Oh thank you miss, I have many jems hear to pay you for your effort" "We can discuss payment once I'm back, until then, I should get going" "Thank you again my lady" "Oh-uh" For such a long time you haven't liked being referred to as a lady, your not a royal and you never act like a lady anyway, especially not the way you talk, act and fight. "Y/N is fine" And with that, you carried on out of the little village and headed towards Mirkwood. With Thunder being your horse, you were able to travel at great distances, within a short amount of time, you were able to pass by Last Bridge and Bruinen. It was night fall by the time you both reached the other side of the misty mountains, you were tempted to ask for shelter in Rivendel, but you weren't sure what kind of welcome you would receive. You had heard stories about the elves, and the ones at Rivendel seemed nice enough, but it was the ones in Mirkwood who most people spoke ill about. You had heard many stories, mostly to do with the history of Thorin Oakenshield and the King of Mirkwood. They had some kind of falling out and there was hatred on both sides, it may have been something to do with Smaug, the dragon who attacked Erabor.
According to witnesses, The Elf king did nothing to help the Dwarf king and his people after Smaug took their home, and that there were rumours that the same elf king captured them and kept them his dungeons when they tried to claim their home back. That's the bad side some people see, but there were others who pointed out that the Elf king helped in the battle of the five armies, although, apparently he was there already to take back something from Erabor. But again, he also lended aid to the people of Dale after the dragon attack, there were so many stories, you couldn't make heads or tales of it. This was running through your mind as you settled down for the night at the edge of the mountains, with you and Thunder warming up by the fire. You decided it was just better to avoid this King or any of his other elves when you were in there, it was going to be difficult enough having to find this young man, in Mirkwood of all places. People have gone mad or even died in that place, and you didn't want to be another one of those people who was whispered about when stories were told. After having something to eat, you drifted off to sleep, lying against Thunder as he leans close to the fire.
The next morning, you awoke from the sunrise and you grabbed something to eat from your backpack as you started getting ready to move again. Not forgetting to feed Thunder of course, he loves his crunchy apples, he couldn't get enough of them. Once you were both fed and ready, the journey started again, and it wasn't long at all before you reached the edge of Mirkwood, with this peculiar looking entrance, it looked very aged, but also like it had been hand carved by the finest eleven hands. You knew that taking Thunder in there was going to be dangerous, however, Thunder was a very stern horse indeed. Over the years, when you have tried to keep him away when your on a dangerous mission, he would find a way to join you, and wouldn't let you do it alone. You were stuck with him, there was no question. "You ready old friend?" He gave a positive winny noise, and it made you smile. Taking his reigns, you lead him through the entrance and into the forest, hoping that this whole situation would be over soon. You had only been in there for 10 minutes, and it was already feeling difficult to breath, let alone anything else.
The atmosphere had an almost misty feel to it, yet you could see fine, it was like your vision was trying to trick you. The air was heavy and you felt dissy due to what felt like lack of oxygen, but you kept going, looking for any sigh of that young man. Thunder stopped in his tracks, and was clipping his hoof against something on the ground, you climb down to look, and pick up a piece of fabric, and it had the same colour of the shirt the father was wearing, this must be from the young man you were suposed to find. You were clever not to shout for him, this forest could be hiding a whole host of dangers, including the very creatures this man came in hear to find in the first place. You weren't going to draw attention to yourself, so quietly you kept on moving, finding more and more pieces of this material as you followed. Until one piece had some blood on it "Oh god, I hope this is just from a little wound" You said to Thunder, that's when Thunder took a few steps back and looked a little scared, you stroked him to help calm him, and that's when you turn to see what he saw. Behind you in the trees were many cocooned bodies in spider webs, there had to be at least 30, and some of them you could see where long gone.
Skeletons haunted this feeding ground, but you weren't looking for skeletons, this man was hear recently. You left Thunder on the ground and climbed the tree, looking for this man, when out of the corner of your eye, you see a flash of colour, the sake colour as the pieces of material you've found. It was him, wrapped up in this spider web. You climbed over to him and sliced him down with your little blade, he slowly fell to the floor as you jumped back down. Again you use your blade to slice open the webbing, and your so thankful he is breathing. He start to stir, he mumbled with his eyes closed. "N-no mumma, I don't want a sweetroll-" "Hey! Wake up!" You say as you slap him in the face, making him jolt awake and sit up. "What the-How did I-Who are you?! Did you just slap me?!" "Yes I did! Your father sent me hear to find you because he's worried sick about you, why would you be so stupid to run off on your own into Mirkwood, in search of spiders, on PURPOSE?!" "I wanted to bring back the head of a spider to prove I was strong!" "Don't you think a better idea would be to NOT go and hunt a dangerous monster to prove your strength? And instead prove to be a better son? And not scare your father in the process? To the point where he thinks your dead?! You had no skill to do this alone!"
"Excume me! What makes think that?!" You look at him with and angry face, and point up to the spiders webs, and the webs around him. "Hello! You were going to die you moron!" "Alright alright point made" "Good, now, look behind my horse there, do you see that?" "It looks, like a thin wire rope" "It is, I tied it around a part of the entrance of this forest, we will follow it and get out of this place. Then! You will go straight home and apologise for acting like an idiot to your father!" "But-" "Do I make myself clear?!" "Fine! Yes you do" After giving him a stern look, he brushes the rest of the webs off himself as you seen if Thunder is ok, but something is wrong, you sence a presence, a bad one. You turn around and see not one, but three enormous spiders advancing down the tree towards you all.
"Get out of hear now! Follow the wire!" "But what about you-" "Just get out now!" This man ran towards the wire, following it to the entrance of the forest as you ready your weapons. You shoot your cross bow at one spider hitting it straight in the eye and making it fall out of the tree to it's dead, still twitching. The other two run towards you, the swerve inbetween them and slice the leg of one, leaving it in pain and unable remove properly, that's where Thunder comes in.
He races over and starts attacking this wounded spider, kicking it in the body and face with his front and back legs, he has one hell of a kick on him, and he is destroying this spider. That leaves you to focus on the last one, that just so happens to be the biggest, and you notice it had many scars, it's seen battles, will it meet its fate in this one? It charges at you with lightening speed, knocking your weapon out of your hand and pins you up against the tree. Your holding it back by it's fangs, that are trying desperately to bite you, it's so hard keeping him away from your neck. So you kick the back of the tree, and reveal a blade that spikes out of your shoe, which you use to stab this spider in the throat, causing it to squeal and drop you due to the pain. You had no idea how high this spider was holding you, and you fell to the floor and felt a tremendous amount of pain, it was coming from your left arm, thankfully you were right handed, but you were still injured and weren't sure you were going to make it. You try attacking this spider again and again, getting a few injuries in, but it's too quick and to strong, and at one point, it grabs you and throws you against a tree, you feel something break but you don't know what. You fall to the floor in tears of agony, holding your ribs and struggling to breath, your bloodied and bruised, and Thunder is struggling with his own spider, he is unable to get to you. Your spider gets closer and closer to you, you have no way to move without pain, is this it? Were you about to be taken out by this spider?
It's within inches of you now, and you close your eyes as its about to strike at you with it fangs, when suddenly you don't feel anything from it. You just hear the sound of something shooting through the air, and when your eyes open you see an arrow has been shot into this spiders side, causing it to get angry, stand away from you and look for whoever shot it. Out of nowhere, about 15 elves jump out of the bushes and trees, and start attacking this giant spider, and the one that Thunder is struggling with too. The pain is too much and you collapse against the tree, trying desperately to hold in the tears and wishing for this pain to go away. The spider sees you and tries to strike at you again, when suddenly an incredibly tall man jumps out from behind you and stands infront, brandishing his blade to stop this monster. His sword slices one of it's fangs off like it was made of butter, and the spider retreats back in pain, allowing the other elves to attack it more. Your vision is getting harder to focus, the pain it too much, so it doesn't even cross your mind this Elf had knelt beside you to see if your ok, until you see his eyes. His piercing eyes, like sapphires and diamonds blended together in perfect balance.
His hand rests against your cheek, but before you could say anything, you pass out and fall forward, but he catches you before you fall.
The elves had just killed both the spiders as this elf picks you up and holds you in his arms, being careful not move you to much incase it hurts you more. Thunder races over to your unconscious body, and looks panicked. "Do not worry....your rider will be alright with the help of my kin" Somehow, Thunder both understood him and believed him, but he still looked worried down at you. "We will bring them both back to the palace, make sure this magnificent horse is tended to.......I shall take this woman to the healers....let's go" Time seemed to feel so short when you felt yourself waking up again, was it all a bad dream? Did that fight really happen? Your eyes adjusted to the surroundings, but something was wrong, everything was different. You could see you were in a beautiful silk white bed, enormous for just one person, the walls and decorations were beautiful, cream and white in colour, with what looked like green leaves and ivy growing in and around the walls, making it look incredible. Your so busy wondering what happend and where you were, that when you try to sit up, a sharp pain hits you like a bolder. "Hhhsss! By the gods! What the hell?" You pull back the silk quilt, and pull up your shirt to see a bandage delicately wrapped around your ribs, did someone heal you? That's when it all starts flooding back. Saving that man, being attacked by spiders, and elves coming to sav-Elves! The elves of the Mirkwood forest! So that means....I'm in the Mirkwood palace?
You look at the rest of you, and you see that your left arm is in a cast, and you can feel some bruises on your face and chest, but no cuts. Did the Elves use their healing abilities to help you? And if so, why? You manage to sit up and on the edge of the bed, where you hear a knock at the door. "Hello?" "Good day my lady, my name is Elenwen, may I come in?" She seemed polite, was she the elf who helped me?" "Y-yes" The door opened and this very well presented elf maiden entered the room with a trey of fresh fruits, baked goods and fresh water. "Oh, my lady you should be resting. Why don't you lie back in bed?" "No it's alright, I'm fine" "I'm sorry but I don't belive that. Not after I witness King Thranduil using his healing gifts to help you, according to him, you had 2 broken ribs, a broken arm and many other injuries too" "I'm sorry, did you say King?" "Yes, King Thranduil, he and his hunting party were out in the forest and happened upon you in the spiders den. He brought you and your horse back for care and assistance, that was 3 days ago" "Thunder is ok? Oh thank the gods-woh woh woh wait a second! 3 days ago?! I've been unconscious for 3 days?!" "You were healing my lady, your broken bones are nearly healed thanks to the king, and another few days and you should be much better" "I didn't think elven healing could be that quick. Oh, and....there's no need to call me lady, my names Y/N" "Ok, it's a pleasure to know your name Y/N. Is there anything else I can get you or help you with?"
"That's very kind of you, but I've already taken up enough of your time and resources. I'll just take Thunder and be on my way" "Oh you can't possibly do that yet! Your still healing, and the forest is dangerous for someone in your condition" "I'm sure I'll manage, I don't want to be a disturbance hear, I'm not exactly someone of royalty standards, I'm just a commoner. I honestly don't know why the elves helped me in the first place" "Royal or not, you were in need of help, and we gave it too you. Besides, the king asked me to inform him once you had awoken, he wishes to speak to you" "Let me guess, he's going to scald me about being on his land and in his forest?" "Of course not, why would you think that?" "I just assumed it would be that" "I can assure you that is not the case, shall I bring him in now?" "I'll just go to him, I've been in this bed for the days, I need to get out of it" "But I-" "I'm not staying in this bed any longer" "Well, alright, fine. But I'll only bring you to the king if you eat something first, you need your strength" "I'm not hungry, I don't need it" "No food, you stay in bed. And that's final" She seemed adamant about that, and you were in no position the move her out of the way and leave by yourself. So you agreed and ate some food, it was some of the best you had even tasted, once Elenwen was happy with you, she helped you out of bed and walked with you through the palace. The further you moves the darker the whole place got, but only in light, not in mood.
It actualy felt quite pleasant in hear, the walkways were made of these beautiful wooden tree roots, like the whole palace was built in and under an enormous tree of some sorts. It was difficult for you to walk quickly, but Elenwen knew this and walked slowly for you too, she seemed very nice. A few minutes later, she walks you across the biggest of these wooden root bridges, where there are these little steps leading to what looks like a big circular area, and in that, was a giant throne. It too was made out of the same things you walked across, there were two guards in either side of the throne, but right at the top, sitting there, was a majestic looking elf. And it wasn't until he looked down at you, that you remember something else from the spider attack, the diamond and sapphire eyes, they were his.
It's only then that the realisation hits you, the very same man who protected you, was the king! You and Elenwen stood at the foot of the throne, and Elenwen said "My king, the lady Y/N wished to approach you instead of in her bedroom quarters" The king can see your eyes roll when she says "Lady" again, you don't see it, but it actualy slightly amuses him.
"Guard, bring Y/N a chair" He does, and places it close to where you were. "Leave us, I wish to speak with Y/N alone" Both the guards and Elenwen leave the area, and now it's just you and the king. He walks down from his throne and stands just the right distance from you. "Please, take a seat" "That's kind, but I don't need one" "Don't need one?.....I'm suprised" You just shrug your shoulder, not knowing what to say. "So?.....might I ask, how you happend to be in the Mirkwood forest on your own?" "I was searching for someone" "And who might that be?" "A young man who had foolishly ran away to slay a spider, trying to prove his bravery and strength to his father" "I see, and did he get what he was seeking" "Nope, all he got was a smack in the face when I got him out of the spiders web, and a firm telling where to go because of his stupidity" This time you see it, a little smirk at the side of his face. "So, you saved this young man, and also smacked him in the face?" "If he hadn't have been acting like a wanna be spider hunter, he wouldn't have got himself into that mess. And because he nearly died from that, he needed a wake up call"
"I see....I like that.....so? Is that what you were doing there too? Trying to prove something?" "What do you mean by that?" "You entered this forest on your own, knowing the dangers. Were you acting like a wanna be spider hunter" "I wasn't acting like anything, I am someone who will help others in danger. I am skilled in fighting and weaponry, and I offer my help to those that need it and ask for it. This was my first time going up against spiders, it didn't exactly shock ME that I didn't get very far with them" "You nearly died saving that young man" "So?" ".......why did you say that?" "Because I did, what are you getting at?" "I just find it interesting how a young woman like yourself, who puts herself in danger all the time will say (So?) When asked about her own safety?" "Have you seen the world we live in? Safety isn't exactly easy to find. All over middle earth every day there are villages who happen to be in the way of some orc bandits. Or bears will pillage peoples homes, or innocent soldiers or bystanders will die in wars, that have no need to be happening anyway. I'm just doing my job, I help people and care for my horse, there is nothing else. And it's a dangerous job I do, so if I happen to die, that that's just what happens" He looks at you with a serious face, but the is also concern there too.
"When me and my kin were out hunting 3 days ago, we saved you from those spiders. But you yourself must have noticed that one was much bigger that the others?" "Actualy I did, and it had scars over its body" "That was because it was the most dangerous of the spiders nest. You see...there is a creature that hides away in some unknown location, me and my kin have tried and failed to find it. It is the biggest and most terrifying of the spiders, and it's name is Shelob. During it's time it had birthed only 3 children, as the others were eaten by those 3. And that spider who you fought in the forest, just so happens to be one of those 3 children. It has been responsible for many deaths of all races, and everytime my kin have tried to hunt it down, they have either never been found, or have been eaten by this beast. This is why I wished to speak to you" "What do you mean?" "Many of my kin have fallen to this monster within seconds, and none have lived.....and yet....you were attacked by this beast, and two others along side it. What I want to know....is how you did it?" "I don't know what to tell you, I just fought back. I shot a cross bow bolt into the head of one before it got out of the tree, I sliced the leg off another and my horse Thunder was beating him off. And as for the big one....I just did what I could, it didn't help that half way through, my left arm had broken and I wasn't able to hold myself in a fight anymore. But I tried, and when it threw me against the tree, I had no chance"
"But you fought it and lived" "No, I fought it, nearly died and then you and your soldiers turned up. I just got lucky" "Don't downplay what happend and what you did" "Why do you care anyway? I don't even see why you helped heal me either, I came onto your land without permission. You should have just left me there after you killed the spiders, I could have got myself back out of the forest" Simpathy now shines in his eyes. "Your not used to receiving help are you?" You fall silent, it occurs to you that he's actualy right. You have no family, no friends, just Thunder. And the majority of interactions you have with people are when they want something from you. And the ones that don't, only chat to you once they have your money. You weren't good at accepting help, you didn't feel like you deserve it, that's why you just wanted to leave this place and get back to what your life was. "The silence says it all Y/N......tell me....why do you not like to be referred to as (Lady)?" "How did you know I don't like that?" "I know many things....and I also saw that little eye roll when Elenwen called you that...I'm guessing with that fierce personality of yours, you have already told her you don't wish to be called that?" "Yeh, I did. I'm sorry, fierce?" "You don't think the same?" "Of course I don't, why do you?"
"Isn't it obvious? You travel these lands on your own, as I have not seen any companion with you. You travel everywhere to do others bidding for coin, you fight and slay monsters, you face danger and you have a flare for standing your ground and being what you want to be. I'd say that's a fierce personality if ever I've seen one" Why is he being so nice? "So again I ask you....why do you not like being called a lady?" "I don't behave like one, so I don't want to be called that" You are firm and strong in your answer, and yet strangely, he seems to like this. He has a small smile on his lips, why? "I must say.....I am impressed" "With what?" "......You of course" "Ok, what do you want?" "I beg your pardon?" "I said what do you want? You wouldn't be saying this kind of thing if you didn't want something from me. So what is it? Coin? To throw me in your dungeon?" "Y/N......I'm sorry" "Huh? For what?" "Im sorry that an extraordinary woman like you thinks that everyone is an enemy. You must have been through so much to think that, I'm sorry if I have said or done something to make you feel unsafe in my presence. I do not have an ulterior motive, I do not wish to throw you in the dungeon or take coin from you. I was simply giving you a compliment, you do impress me" Well....this was unexpected, you honestly didn't know what to say in response.
He held his hand out to you and said "You are my guest hear Y/N, and it's a pleasure to meet you" You take his hand with yours, it's surprisingly big, but soft and welcoming. He brought it to his lips and kissed your hand gently, all while keeping piercing eye contact. "And as my guest, you will be given any luxury you wish, what ever you wish for, you shall have" "That's really not necessarily, I don't need anything" "I insist...." "Look, I think it's just better if I go, I wouldn't want to take up your space or resources" "This is a palace, and as king I have overflowing resources. I must insist you stay until you are in a better condition" "I'm fine" "Do correct me if I'm wrong, but you are struggling to stand as we speak, and I can't see a part of you that isn't hurt. Please..." He does have a point, I suppose staying until your better makes sence, and him and his people have been helpful. "Alright, just until I'm ok to travel" "Wonderful....now, will you allow me to give you a tour of my home?" "Really?" "Of course, your going to have to know where things are if your going to be staying hear for a while" "Ok, it makes sense" "If you care to walk with me, I shall show you the palace" He offered his arm to you, but you politely declined with your hand, he nodded, but he was making sure to keep an eye on you, you were still weak from the spider attack.
He walked you through the palace and showed you many rooms and areas, kitchen, dining areas, balconies, beautiful rooms and many many other places in the palace. But he saved the best for last, he finaly lead you outside to the back of the palace, there was an enormous hidden garden at the back, and it was filled with sweet smelling wild flowers, fruit trees, planting areas and stables for horses. That's where you see Thunder. "Thunder!" He hears your voice and winnied at the sight of you, he happily trotted over to you and you hugged his face as he was finaly back with you. "Thank you for looking after him" "Your welcome, he is a wonderful animal. One of the strongest I've seen, and I've seen many over the years" "Thunder is a great horse, he's always been there for me. Anytime he sences danger, he won't leave my side" "A loyal animal....just like my stag I had many years ago....he unfortunately died in the last battle I fought" "If I may ask, was that the battle of the five armies?" "That's correct....I was there to retrieve something of mine, and I was willing to fight for it. But when the orc and goblins attacked too, I had to change my objective" "I've heard stories about the army, but not from someone who had been in the thick of it" "I do not wish to discuss it anymore" "That's fine, I'm not going to force you" He gives you a small smile, and you do too.
Your suddenly over come with a dizzy feeling, and your ribs hurt too. It causes you to loose your balance and hold your rib with your good arm, and within the second that happened, Thranduil is holding your back with his strong hands. "Y/N, what's wrong?" "I'm fine, just a little dizzy that's all" You say as he helps you stand back up again, still keeping one of his hands on your back. "Your still healing, you need time to rest. Allow me to take you to a part of the gardens where you can sit and I will stay to keep you company" "You don't have to keep me company if you don't want to you know" "I am the king, I can do what I wish. Thunder can come with us if it pleases you?" "That would be nice, thanks" This time when Thranduil offers you his arm, you take it. You didn't want to fall from pain or dizziness infront of him, so you did take his arm just this time. He lead you and Thunder through the rest of the garden to this wonderful river in the middle of this garden, there were other horses who were walking around wherever they liked, and Thunder happily trotted over to meet them. There was a beautifully carved wooden bench next to you, and Thranduil helped you to sit down and get comfortable.
His servants were all over the palace and gardens, and he asked one to bring some drinks and fresh food for you both, once they did, you simply sat and watched Thunder enjoying himself, whilst also getting to know Thranduil too. It was just general chit chat, getting to know eachother and finding out things about eachother. Hobbies, favourite food, memories, things you've done, your background in fighting and what you want to do in the future. For a king, he was surprisingly easy to talk too, and he didn't talk down to you, he treated you like an equal. After a few hours, that felt more like minutes, Thranduil got more trustworthy with you, and told you about the situation from the battle of the five armies. "My goal was to help the people who had been pushed out of their home in Dale, brought them food and medical supplies....but I did have a more pressing matter in mind....you see...many years before this happened, the late Thorin Oakenshield was in possession of some of my treasure, and I was intending to get it back" "And that's why you brought an army with you?" "The army was....a precaution..." "A precaution? There were 14 of them" "Nevertheless....it seemed it was good that I brought them with me....once the battle had begun"
"And....did you get your treasure back?" "I did....once the battle field was cleared and all those who fell in battle were laid to rest, including the late king. His kin, Dale Ironfoot returned the gems to me after Oakenshields funeral...and I brought them back to my home where they belong" "This treasure must have meant a lot to you" "Yes...you could say that..." "I'd think they would be to bring an army with you" He ever so slightly chuckled and said "I can't disagree with you on that" After your time spent getting to know eachother, he walked you back with Thunder to the horses stables, as it was time for the dinner to be served, Thunder was going to be fed with the other horses too. Thranduil lead you into the dining room, where the table was laden with so many different and delicious smelling foods, it made you feel like hunger was puching your stomach. Thranduil helped you to sit beside him, and the servants were all there to serve you food and your choice of wine too. This was so strange for you to experience, you hadn't been waited on before, there was a part of you that wanted to help the servers take the used plates down to the kitchen and help with the cleaning. But when you tried to offer any help, Thranduil said you needed the rest, you were a guest in the palace, and the kitchen had plenty of other staff to help them, and they were all paid very well for their jobs. Maybe that was just the commoner in you, wanting to do your bit, but now that you think of it, most of the staff in hear looked like they had better health and more wealth than many lords and ladies you had met throughout middle earth.
Once you were both fed and the table was cleared, Thranduil offered to walk you around the outside of the palace to view the beauty of the night before taking you back to your room. You accepted and together you both walked outside and witnessed the plants, trees and wildlife glow almost with this magical blue aura, it was like being in a magical hideaway. "This place is even more beautiful outside" "I agree, I do tend to just sit out hear most evenings and observe it's unique beauty" "Your so lucky to live hear" "It's my birthright, I'm not sure luck is anything to do with it. I'm sure your home is just as impressive" "If I had I home I might have been able to describe it" ".......You?....Don't have a home?" "Nope" "But.....where do you live? How do you manage to keep going? Where do you even sleep?" "I don't live anywhere, I don't have a house of my own, I just sleep anywhere there is a space. Weather it be in a tavern, if I have the coin for it. Or if I don't have coin, I'll just sleep under the stars on a bed roll or something. I keep going taking any work I can, I don't get much coin, but I don't need it, all I need is food, a place to rest my head on a night, and Thunder. And I don't have to be rich to have those things" "I'm.....I'm sorry this has burdened you" "Burdened? Don't be silly, I'm not burdened. There are people out there who are in far worse positions that me, I'm grateful for what I have" "But....don't you wish you could have more?" "Of course I do, what person wouldn't. But in life, whatever we want can't just happen magically or form out of thin air. Maybe in the future if I save some coin, I could rent a room out of a shared home, or something that won't result in me sleeping under a tree. But it's not a big issue for me"
He chuckled again "What's funny?" "I just....find it amazing how you can be happy, with so little in your life. No home, and yet...hear you are...smiling" "Because it's not the end of the world" You both smile, and your also nearly to your room again. Thranduil stands with you outside your door and bids you a good night, once again kissing the back of your hand. "Y/N, do tell me....where is it you normally stay if you have the coin?" "Well, it's Bree. It's right in the middle of all the places I travel too, and it's the perfect point to stop during travels. I could stay there for a good few days before I'm off again" "That's very interesting to know.....well, I shall leave you to rest...good night Y/N" "Goodnight Thranduil"
He gave you one last small smile, and walked back the way he came, presumably to go to bed himself. You enter your room and sit down on the bed, getting into some comfortable sleeping clothes, as you think about the whole day. You had just spent the day talking to and getting to know the king of the woodland elves, the KING! And after the stories you had heard about him, you now had your own, and a new perspective to think on. Despite him being a king, he was the first person to show you any kind of decency or respect, without wanting or needing something in return. It was a strange, yet welcoming thing to experience. You kept thinking about it as you drifted off to sleep, in the super soft bed that felt like you were sleeping on a cloud.
Staying in a palace for the next few days was so nice, and made a big change from being on horse back, or fighting to find a place to rest your head for the night. Thranduil had been so kind to you, helpful and really friendly. It seemed like he was coming out of this hardened shell, like he hadn't really had this kind of interaction with people for a long time. Yes he was surrounded by servants, but they were there to do a job, not to converse. You got the impression Thranduil was lonely, didn't he have any family? Children? Or a wife? It had been 3 days since you first arrived, and your bond with Thranduil was now close enough to call a genuine friendship, you both liked being around eachother, and got on like a house in fire. He was still reserved about many things, but that was understandable, you didn't pry into his personal affairs. You were finaly healed and were in fighting shape, and now you were ready to go back to that man in Bree to see if his son got back, and to collect your reward. You and Thranduil were sitting on a bench in the garden as the stars shone like diamonds in the sky, it was a warm evening and the air still had the scent of the warm pastries the kitchen staff had prepared for yours and Thranduils deserts that evening. As you sat, you both reflected on the bond you had struck, and the moments you had shared since forming this friendship.
"I can't believe I've been hear for nearly a week" "It's gone by quickly" "Absolutely, it will be nice to see Bree again though. And to see if that stupid son got back to his father in one piece" "If he didn't, are you planning to smack him again?" "Maybe....if he's not been an idiot" You both share a small laugh, and Thranduil keeps his smile, he didn't use to do that. If you were lucky you'd catch a glimpse of a smirk, but now, it was like he was a new man. "And don't forget, me and my kin will walk you through the forest to ensure you have safe passage" "That's kind of you, thank you. I won't lie...I'm a little nervous to go back out there again" "There is no need to be nervous, I will protect you with my life" "Your very kind" There is a comfortable silence as you watch the stars, when Thranduil says "Do you wish to return hear?" "Pardon?" "I mean....If you wish to return, you are more than welcome" "Is this your way of asking if I'll come back and visit you?" "........." "Thranduil...do you want me to visit you?" ".....That would.....be nice" "Then yes, when I close by, I'll come and visit" You could tell he was nervous about asking you that, but secretly you were happy he wanted you to come back, you were really going to miss him.
"I find....that I don't have anyone around to keep me company as of late. My son, Legolas he.....he is on his own path" "Don't you have anyone else hear with you? I wasn't sure if you were married either" "I was....a very long time ago.....you see, many years ago, I was betrothed by royal demand. Her name was Calathiel, she lived I'm Mithlond before travelling to LothlĂłrien, we were wed and we produced an heir, my son Legolas. But our marriage wasn't meant to be" "Oh?" "Whilst we were married and did what was expected of us, the love was only one sided. I did love her, and care for her a great deal. But alas, it was not reciprocated. There was a war that needed my help, and when I was gone, she ran from the palace....leaving Legolas behind. Once I found out, I came home and ordered everyone to find her....but it was too late. She was captured and tortured in Gundabad, she died there.....I have not spoken about her since" "Thranduil, I'm sorry that happened, I really am" "Worry not for me....this was the reason I took myself and my army to Erabor many years ago. They had the neclace and gems that belonged to my late wife, and I was there to take them back. They were all I had left of her, or so I thought. It wasn't until after the battle that I realised, my son....Legolas, he was.....I didn't need the gems, all I needed was him. But he chose to walk his own path, and now I have not seen him in many years"
He sounded heart broken by this, whatever happened between him and Legolas has scarred him. No wonder he seems lonely, he doesn't have anyone, you were glad you formed a bond with him, you both needed someone to be there for. "I'm sure Legolas is alright out there Thranduil, and I'm very sorry to hear about what happend to your wife. I would just like to say though...thank you for trusting me enough to tell me, I know this can't have been easy for you to say" "Thank you, your kind to say this" Thranduil had the most majestic voice that had such depth and command, and yet there was vulnerability there. You didn't hear that vulnerability with anyone else in the palace...just you. "It's late, I think you should get some rest. It's going to be a long day of travel for you if your going to Bree" "Yes your right, Thunder fell alseep ages ago, he'll be fine in the morning. I hope you sleep well Thranduil" "You too Y/N" Your just heading away from him, when you stop, think, then turn to him and say "Thranduil?" "Yes?" "Why don't you make me call you "king?" Or "your majesty" Like the others do in the palace?" He smiles and says "Many reasons, but my favourite.....I like hearing my name from those perfect lips of yours. It's like music" You had never blushed more than you had at that very moment, that was like poetry! You couldn't even speak, so you just give him a smile back, and head off upstairs to your room, still feeling the warmth in your cheeks as you go to sleep.
The next morning, you were dressed and ready to go back to Bree. Thranduil and you shared a breakfast as Thunder was being fed and readied for the trip, and once you had finished, you both headed down to the stables where there were 10 other elves waiting on horse back for you both. Thunder was rearing to go, and you gave him a cuddle before climbing onto his back. "Onwards" Thranduil declared, and into the forest you all went. According to him, the path they would take would only be a 20 minute walk to the exit of the forest, that was a relief to you. But there was something that was about to happen that you weren't expecting, something that would frighten you. You and the others were half way through the forest, when all the shadows and shapes of the forest were playing with your eyes. Your heart rate was creeping up at an alarming pace, sweat was forming on your brow, and your body and hands started to uncontrollably shake. Thunder could sence this about you, and stopped, allowing the others to see you were in distress. Thranduil stopped to see you looking as white as snow, shaking and struggling to breath properly, this instantly made him cause everyone to halt, and he was off his stag and by Thunders side within seconds. He was holding your hand, trying desperately to get your attention, but you were locked in this zone of panic, white noise and ringing filled your ears, but soon Thranduils voice was managing to break that.
"Y/N! Y/N take my hand! Let me help you down" You manage to hold his hand and he carefully takes you into his arms and helps you off of Thunder. "Keep watch all of you!" He demands as he helps you sit on a nearby tree root, your still shaking, and your body is full of adrenaline, you couldn't stop it. "Y/N! Look at me ok? Just look at my eyes" Finaly able to meet his gaze, his piercing blue and white gaze, his calm and steady words slowly eased you.
He knew you needed something to ground you, to make you feel safe, so he drapes his beautiful golden cloak around your back and shoulders. It was so warm, and it smelled like him, like the earth after a rainstorm. "Let's take a deep breath in......and out, just like that. Let's keep doing that ok? In.....and out" He continues to do this with you for what felt like hours, even though it was more like minutes, he never leaves your side or let's go of your hand. It takes you a little while longer for the shaking to stop, the ringing to go and your body to finaly calm down again. You were left with this achey pain, like the aches you get from the flu, you knew this was because of your body going into over drive. But Thranduil refused to leave until you were back to normal again, no matter how long it took. He also made sure you had something to drink, that was very kind of him. "Alright, your pulse is back to normal now, how are you feeling?" "Better than I was. I'm sorry about that. I was just having flashbacks of the spider attack, and-"
"There is no need to apologise, it was a terrible thing to experience. Of course it's not going to be easy for you, your safe now" You took a deep breath and gave him a smile, he could see you were feeling better, but he still kept a keen eye on you. He helped you back onto Thunder, and you all carried on to the exit. He would stay close by with his stag to make sure you were ok, he was so protective. When you all finaly got to the edge of the forest, and walk under the same archway you entered before, it was the end of your time with Thranduil. You climbed off Thunder and Thranduil climbed off his stag, the rest of the elves stayed close to the entrance as you both took a moment to talk. "Are you sure your going to be alright travelling the rest of the way on your own?" "Yes I'm sure, I've made this journey hundreds of times" "I'm guessing it would be nice if you had a place of your own instead of sleeping rough for the rest of your days?" "Yes it would be nice, but like I've said before, it's something I'll just have to work for. It was....wonderful getting to know you Thranduil, and I would love to visit you again" "I would very much like that too.....meeting you....has changed me....in the best way. Your kind soul, your beauty....it's like being blessed with a fallen star. Pure, and unique....and the days I have spent with you have been a blessing"
And once again, he has made your heart skip, your cheeks blush, and has made beautiful poetry with just a simple sentence. "Thranduil....that's the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me. I don't know how to thank you for everything you've done for me" "There is nothing I want in return Y/N, your happiness and safety is more than I could ask for" You had no words, no idea how to show him how much you care about him. So instead, you lean up, rest your hand on his chest and press a kiss to his cheek. You wanted desperately to kiss his lips instead, but all of his soldiers were there. This time, it was the handsome king who was blushing. "When I'm close by, I'll come and see you again Thranduil" "And I will be waiting for you" One last smile and a wave was given as you climb back onto Thunder, and you gallop off in the direction of Bree. Thunder was very well fed and cared for by the elves, and being so, he was so much faster. He managed to ride into Bree within half the time of the last time you traveled, it was the late afternoon by the time you arrived back in Bree. Your priority now was to find the man who sent you to Mirkwood in the first place, and to find out if his son made it back too. It took about 10 minutes for you to walk through Bree, and see that man in a front garden, planting some vegetables. "Good day sir" "Oh! Oh it's you!" This man shouted in happiness as he ran to you and shook your hand. "Y/N I am so thankful you made it out of that dreadful place! My son told me what happened, and how he wasn't sure you made it or not" "So he got back in one piece then?" "Oh yes he did, with his tale between his legs!"
This just made you chuckle, and you can see behind the house, the same man who you saved, raking up cut grass. "He's serving his punishment, but all is forgiven from our falling out. May I ask, how did you manage to defeat those spiders" "Well I didn't really defeat them, I managed to kill 1, wound the other and the biggest one nearly killed me. But it was the woodland elves who saved me, if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be hear right now" "The woodland elves of Mirkwood? I've heard stories, but none from anyone who have actualy met them. They saved you?" "They did, and they are very nice people....it was a pleasure to meet them" "That's lovely to hear, and it's good to know your safe. Now! Let me pull these little beauties out" He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a bag of gems. "Oh no that's alright, that's too much" "You are not leaving hear without adequate payment young lady" "What about just half the bag? A full bag seems too much" You....risked your life to save my child. I would give everything in my possession to have him home. You have done us a great honour, and you deserve every last one of these"
He puts the bag in your hand and holds it there for you, determined you keep them. "Your very kind" "The world needs more people like you, thank you for everything that you've done" He leaves to go back to his gardening, and you smile as you walk back to Thunder. "Looks like a nice cosy night in the stables for you old friend" you say giving him a pat on his side. You start to lead him through Bree, when a tall looking figure walks up to you, looking very pleased. "Good day Y/N" "Ummm? Hi? Have we met?" "Oh no we haven't yet, my apologies. My name is Fendin, it's a pleasure to meet you" "So? Can I help you with something?" "Oh yes indeed, if you'd like to follow me, I've been asked to show you something" He started walking in the opposite direction, you had no idea if this was a trap or someone trying to sell you something, but you could handle yourself against one....was he an elf? Still keeping a distance, you follow him and he leads you to this magnificent and beautiful house just towards the end of the street. It has it's own stables filled with everything you could need for a horse, and you could see through the windows of the house, luxury seating areas, a big comfortable bedroom, bathing room, living room and kitchenette.
"Ok, Fendin. I'm confused, why have you shown me this house?" "Because this is your house" Huh?! "No no no, you definitely have the wrong person. I've never owned a house in my lifetime. The longest I've stayed inside a building was over night in a tavern. I haven't the coin to own a house" "He said you may act this way" "He? Who's he?" Fendin reached into his pocket and pulled out a sealed letter, he handed it to you before he started showing Thunder some attention. Wanting to know what was going on, you open the letter, and it read:
My dearest Y/N
I have sent my friend Fendin to show you around your new home. I have much coin and this home is my gift to you, you deserve a place to live, not just survive. I knew he would get the house ready before you would arive, and I hope he gives you the full tour. Your the most extraordinary woman I have ever known, and everything I told you before you left was the truth from the very depths of my heart. There is also a stable for Thunder to have a home too, he deserves it. I look forward to seeing you again....and maybe next time you can aim those beautiful lips of yours on another target? Enjoy your new home.
Thranduil
Thranduil bought you a house! He bought you and Thunder a house!....a home... "So, may I show you around the inside of the property Y/N? I would like to see if the colour scheme is to your liking" "Fenrin, no matter the colour, I am more than happy to see my new home" He smiled with glee as you let Thunder roam around his new and spacious stable, and Fenrin enters the house with you flowing. But just before you enter, you hover outside the door, holding the letter from Thranduil and looking up at the house. Thranduil had bought you a house, a place to call your own. For so long you have been looking for a home.....but maybe, just maybe.....a home isn't necessarily a house....sometimes a home....has a heartbeat....
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đđđđđ Izana Kurokawa
ligaw. [noun] courtship; dating; woo. the university's local rockstar tries to win your heart in his classy ways âĄ
â± izana kurokawa x fem!reader
â± tags, and for my favorite people in the fandom, Izana stans đ€ : @hiraethsdesires @fuyuluvr @izanazqueen @iluvizana @half-baked-biscuit @ask-the-insect-hashira @sukunassuka @izanapogi @em-plosion @chrofeisnightmaregf @mattsune
â± a/n: belated happy birthday to our king đ« I'm sure all my filipina girlies will agree when I say that Izana is that expensive guy who hangs out a lot in bgc and is probably famous in campus.
Izana Kurokawa was quite a popular guy on campus at his university in the Philippines. He was a part of the âTenjikuâ band, playing the guitar, and he was known for his love of motorcycles and his skill on two wheels. He was known to make quite an entrance when he parked his bike before his classes.
Izana had always been a bit of a control freak when it came to his precious guitar. It was the day of the universityâs annual festival night, and his band was going to perform. Izana's instrument was like an extension of himself. He took great care of it, tuning it to perfection before each show and making sure that no one else touched it without his permission. Not even his band mates, he knew they were professionals themselves, but he trusted it to no one but himself.
So as Tenjiku bandmates were doing a soundcheck on the empty stage, Izanaâs heart dropped when he saw a stage crew carrying his guitar. Her name plate read â[ Y / N ]â at the front, carrying his guitar carefully. If she wasnât wearing the pass, he wouldâve mistaken her for another performer, considering how attractive and how nice she was styled too.
He usually wouldâve thrown a fit, but it wasn't just that she was touching his precious instrument, but the way she was carrying it. She was holding it with such care, like it was a priceless work of art rather than just a tool for playing music.
âWhat are you doing with my guitar?â he asked, his tone serious.
âSome amateurs and I think⊠fans managed to get backstage and peek at your instrument,â [ Y / N ] explained. "I couldn't let them touch it, so I took it to you. Sorry if I intruded."
Izana was impressed by her care and consideration. He knew how much his guitar meant to him, and he was grateful to have someone like her who understood that. âIâll get someone to bring you guysâ your water bottles too, the performance starts soon.â
And so as Izana was performing on stage, his guitar ringing out over the crowds as they cheered and clapped. He was in his element, the music flowing through him like blood, the energy of the crowd pulsing through his veins.
But as the set went on, he started to notice that his guitar was sounding a little off. It wasn't much, just a slight distortion that seemed to be coming from the speakers, but it was enough to rattle his concentration. He couldn't focus on the music, constantly worrying about whether the audience was hearing the same thing.
Luckily, [ Y / N ] seemed to be listening in, because she quickly rushed up to the sound booth to fix the distortion. "There we go," she whispered, her voice low and calm. Izana quickly peeked at her from a distance, grateful for the assistance. She quickly started to tinker with the equipment, checking the cables and fixing a few loose connections after giving him a quick nod.
Izana couldn't help but feel a pang of attraction at what she just did. She seemed so passionate about her work, and he couldn't help but admire that.
Izana was still riding the high of his band's performance at the end of the night, when he spotted [ Y / N ] at the parking lot. As he made her way towards her , he felt a sense of anticipation, eager to see her again. âHey.â he said, catching up. âThanks for all the help again today.â
[ Y / N ] couldn't help but feel her heart rushing as she looked up at him. She felt a mix of emotionsâ admiration, attraction, and a bit of nervousness. âOf course,â she said, a hint of exhaustion mixing with her kind tone. âYou guys did so well. I liked your set.â
Izana smiled at her words, feeling a sense of pride and satisfaction. âThanks,â he said. âYou know, I never let anyone touch my guitar, but you carried it like a pro. Not to mention, you noticed the off-distortion in the middle of my performance. I must say, that was really impressive.â He smiled. âAt least let me take you to your place. Itâs getting late too.â
As they rode through Taguig City, [ Y / N ] couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement and adventure. She loved the feeling of the wind in her hair, and the way the city lights stretched out before her like a dazzling kaleidoscope. Izana was the perfect driver, making their trip smooth and comfortable.
Despite the late hour, the streets were still full of peopleâ college students, young professionals, and tourists alike. The city was alive with energy, and it felt as though they were being called in.
As they neared the corner, Izana spotted a food bazaar and immediately made a left turn. [ Y / N ] followed his lead, smiling as she took in the sights and sounds of the bustling night market. âI love this place,â Izana said, dismounting the motorcycle and helping [ Y / N ] down. They were immediately met by the colorful stalls, the sizzling sounds of meat cooking, and the call of the vendors. [ Y / N ] followed Izana through the maze of tents and stalls, trying to make sense of the smells, sounds and smells that attacked her senses.
Finally, they reached a stall that seemed to capture Izana's attention, and she watched as he ordered a plate of sisig (spicy pork dish) and a serving of white rice while [ Y / N ] settled with a simple order of Lumpia (egg rolls).
[ Y / N ] couldn't help but smile, appreciating the joy on his face. She had never seen a grown man enjoy food so much. As they sat there, she couldn't help but think about how much they had done together in such a short amount of time. It had only been a night, and she had gone from never having heard of him to having a well-deserved late dinner together after a long day of putting up a show for everyone in the university.
The night air was cool and crisp, and the sounds of the street vendors and bustling crowds filled their ears as they walked. The vendor poured the frosty coconut juice into two glasses and handed them over to Izana, who smiled and held out one of the glasses to [ Y / N ]. She took a sip, and the cool liquid refreshed her after the long, hot day. The juice was creamy and sweet with a hint of coconut, and [ Y / N ] found herself finishing the glass before she knew it.
As they rode through the city, the lights and billboards shining brightly against the nighttime sky, [ Y / N ] couldn't help but feel a sense of wonder and amazement. It was one of those moments that made her feel tiny and insignificant, like she was just a spec in the vastness of the universe.
Izana rode with a sense of ease and grace, his eyes scanning the streets for any potential hazards. She felt safe and secure in his arms, like he was her personal guardian from the world's dangers.
As they neared her dorm, she couldn't help but feel a sense of sadness. The night had flown by in a flash, and she wasn't ready for it to be over. But she knew that it was only the beginning of their time together. She knew that there would be many more nights like this, many more adventures and experiences to share.
and she was right, it was just the beginning of something beautiful with Izana. Him being a man of class and culture, Izana went on going above and beyond to truly show [ Y / N ] that he was serious about her.
He would surprise her with gifts, take her on unforgettable dates, and become her personal rider as they go to and go home from school together on his bike. He was a true gentleman, and made sure she was comfortable.
He was a natural leader, someone who was always in control, always focused and driven. And yet, he was also sensitive and compassionate, always putting [ Y / N ]'s needs above his own. He was a man with a kind heart and a fierce love for those he cared about, and [ Y / N ] knew that she was one of the lucky ones to have him in her life.
Izana was a true connoisseur of the finer things in life, and he loved sharing that with [ Y / N ]. She was flattered that he took such joy in showing her the luxurious and artistic side of the city, and she knew that these experiences would be forever etched in her memory. These activities not only brought them closer together, but also made them appreciate the beauty of life and the world around them.
So as an arts lover through and through, he loved taking [ Y / N ] to art museums and galleries, where they could spend hours gazing at the incredible works of art, appreciating the beauty of each piece. From the historically rich walls of Manila into the imposing architecture in Bonifacio Global City, they would stroll along the streets, surrounded by high-rise buildings and lush greenery. The city was alive with energy, and there was always something new to discover.
As much as they loved high-end corners of Taguig, Izana and [ Y / N ] would often venture out to Cubao, the place to be for the local music scene where they could catch local bands jamming out and performing live music. It was a unique experience, and they could feel the energy of the crowd as they watched the bands on stage.
They enjoyed exploring different venues and checking out different genres, from rock to indie to even jazz. Izana was a big fan of rock and indie music, so they often frequented places like the Hard Rock Cafe, which featured local bands playing these genres. [ Y / N ], on the other hand, enjoyed exploring different genres and discovering new bands that Izana loved. They loved the experience of trying out different sounds and seeing the different reactions of the crowd.
It was during these moments that [ Y / N ] felt the most in tune with Izana. They would rock out to their favorite songs, sharing headphones and singing along together. It was a way for them to express themselves, and even though they had different music tastes, they found common ground in their shared love of live music.
[ Y / N ] couldn't help but feel grateful for the love and commitment that Izana showed her every day. She was truly blessed to have found someone like him, who was not only her lover, but also her best friend, her confidant, and her soulmate. She knew that their love was something special, something that would last a lifetime.
So when [ Y / N ] gave Izana her sweet "yes", everything was worth it. As Izana held [ Y / N ] in his arms, the whole world seemed to fade away. All he could see and feel was her, and their shared love. He had waited for this moment for so long, and now it was finally here. Everything had led up to this moment - the long nights of studying, the late nights of conversation, and the sweet moments shared together.
It was now as if they were one, united in their love for one another. They had started as friends, and now they were partners, companions, and lovers. It was a journey that had taken them from strangers to soulmates, and it was one that they would always share from now on.
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