#thank u for explaining though :3c

[princewylder]

I almost wanted to say I'm surprised that you've never heard of a MAP, but I realize that I guess they can be kinda niche jfnfjfnd BUT if you're curious, it stands for "Multi Animator Project" and they're basically big collabs between a number of animators with a specific theme/script, where each person animates to a section of a song, then when they're done it all gets put together!! They've been around for a while, since some time in the early 2010s I believe, and I believe the Warrior Cats fandom is what started them, and warrior cats MAPs are definitely the most common and well known ones, but other fandoms have made some too, plus there's ones for OCs or ones where the animator can choose what media they want to do!!

Ohhh OK I kinda guessed what it was based on like the context of your post but that's really cool! I'll be honest I think I'd seen MAP before but I'd just never really come across it properly 😅

Honestly sounds like a really fun idea thank you for explaining it to me :D

[ranger-jahen]

Your OC as a Deity

hello!! I believe I’ve been tagged by 87% of my mutuals at this point for this game. Cx I explained it more in-depth in this post, but basically, Im not able to complete the quiz for Jahen because his personality test results either don’t make sense or aren’t available in the quiz’s answer selections.

but when I made that post, the wonderful @themightynine-nine commented and asked me what kind of god I thought Jahen might be, and I disregarded the formal quiz and just put something together of my own accord. ^u^ so thank you so much for that nudge! I thought it was so sweet.

Jahen would be a god whose domain encompassed "The Open Road." a less powerful deity in the grand scheme of things, but also someone who has a lot of things sort of unexpectedly fall within their influence.

He would be a benevolent deity, so I'd imagine most people would pray to him for something like safe travels or swift paces. but he'd also be immensely important to wanderers, people who don't have a home of their own to go back to, or people fleeing from one place in search of a better life elsewhere.

There would be a complexity to his powers and hints of the untamed sides of him, like unexpected twists and turns or the forces of nature, wild growth and wind and rain, away from major towns or cities, but there would still be a certain steadiness and call to hope and endurance underneath. if someone were lost, either on a real, physical road, or perhaps lost in a more spiritual sense, such as wandering planes after death unable to find their way home, he'd be a good one to pray to in order to retrieve or guide them back to familiar paths.

I also think his powers could be called upon in a more vengeful way, such as deliberate misguidance, keeping someone lost, or troubles befalling someone out in the open where there's little help to be had. but i think if someone were praying for that kind of outcome, there'd have to be a reason for him to follow through that didn't go against his better nature. he'd be far more likely to act maliciously towards someone if they themselves were villainous in some way. and he would do more for compassionate prayers than vicious ones if he was acting of his own accord.

I’d like to tag @goldenflowers and @rivereverie and if you haven’t done it yet and want to! c: I did include the quiz link up top for the regular version. xD but also if you wanted to just write something up like this version, I’d be stoked to see that too!

@themightynine-nine - perhaps you'd enjoy doing the freehanded version as well? :3c (no pressure!)

legit anyone who sees this though and wants to try it out I am giving you big cheers

[iwakuraz]

hello can i ask you about your ocs? your art of them is so cool, i’d love to know more about them

:0 YES!!!! THANK U SM thats so nice of you!!! going on a rant under the cut hehe. hope u do not mind that super bad at explaining so its all just me saying random stuff ajshdj. sorry about that

SO STARTING WITH THESE TWO

the one with buns is called rue and shes an oc I've had since like 2020 ,, shes kinda rude and mean but shes also pretty gay w/ the other character next to her. I think I'm gonna call the other girl paige? but I haven't reallyyyy decided on a name yet! one thing about me is that I'm pretty bad at naming characters. I named her after this one old art website I used as a kid though, the website was called 'paigeeworld'. dunno how many people remember paigeeworld but I do. and paige is def the kinda person to go on art websites like paigeeworld and deviantart. so thats why I'm thinking of using that name. also I named rue after the flower rue

I have a story for them vaguely planned out in my head but I need to flesh it out more. I have the ending planned out but uh. the other parts of the story? yeah. I only have those vaguely decided. they're pretty fucked up tho and .yeah . they make eachother worse probably.

rues birthday is 18th august, paiges birthday is 6th of june. these dates do mean something! paiges birthday is the same day that paigeeworld originally announced their closure (I think?) but rues birthday is something a bit more personal 2 me. their story isn't really connected with any of my other ocs, they're sorta just chilling. I started making a fun silly comic thing with them a bit ago but have barely gotten anything done with that cause school. :[

in my head, paige sorta reminds me of the stummy book song 'we all fall down'. thats why I gave her a cup. bc haha get it...... we're all just drinking out of cups waiting for the day when we can't get enough,,, I think her character item is gonna be a cup. always has a cup of like milkshake or something. yum I love milkshake. a song that I associate with rue is 'please tell me mr wonder' by siinamota. and rues character items is her plush of a bear and a bunny! her plushies are alive btw and talk to her sometimes. but I should probably draw her with her plushies more because right now I only have a slightly old animation of her with them. blehhh

there is another oc who is relevant to these two, her name is rini. but I haven't done a proper drawing of her in a while,, I have a drawing of her from 2022 and I am not showing that. rini is in the same class as paige and rue tho. shes the class representative

next here is dot. shes the mascot of my neocities site but I like her quite a lot :] shes a pretty big nerd I think. nerd bunny. her main source of literature consumption is reading old instruction manuals on how to use windows 98.

OKAY NOW TALKIGN ABOUT VIN MY FRIEND VIN!!!! definitely the oc I've posted about the most. full name is vincent but you can call him vin for short, or vinny for medium. I named him after the car seat headrest song vincent. his favourite food is salt packets (the type you get in restaurants) and his favourite beverage is vinegar. VINegar. I like him a Lot and hes basicallyyy my fursona :3 hes a lonely sad teenage cat and I love him so much!!! he doesn't talk a lot, but I think he communicates through likee his tamagotchi or something. again this is another character I have a story planned out for vaguely but I should flesh him out a lot more. I think right now I'm more just using him to represent myself. just know he is very very special to me -w-

AND. do u see the cat on the left. I think I will name them pepper. they're meant to contrast with vin, I think they're rlly energetic and fun and yeah!!!! :3c <- basically they are that emoticon! been trying to think of a name for pepper forever. I'm thinking maybe the name pepper will work. like yeah sure. I don't think they'd enjoy spicy food so they wouldn't like peppers. thats why I think pepper is the perfect name for them. peppers favourite food is probably dip dab? or whatever those things are called? yknow those weird lollipops you can get that come in a packet full of these weird powder thing and you're meant to dip the lolly into the powder? thats what pepper would eat

this is (tama)rini!!!! tamarini. basically the bunny version of the rini oc I mentioned earlier and then said nothing about! they collect tamagotchis and are very very very normal about tamagotchi. she looks sorta similar to dot, but thats not intentional. I just like the colour purple and I also like bunnies.

there are SOME others but these are my favourite ocs right now. holds them in my hands and shakes them.

[crownedinmarigolds]

Question about khanni and the cool lore implications:

Would her creation make her something of a revnant or dhampir? Do yall have a name for it in your homebrew games?

Further cool question? If im following the timeline correctly, shes created between 1990s-2000s- do u think any work got out that thinbloods were a key to make hybrids?

As you know, fan of your blurbos and in the process of making my own wod timeline with friends!

Ahhh what interesting questions....! So while we're still fully werkin' it all out ourselves, here's what @thesixthplaneteer and I say about the situation: From what we've been reading up, Kahanni is probably very close to a dhampir but without restrictions, according to book. Though because of V5 no longer having dhampir (yet?) she's probably closest to a Thinblood? But also not. She essentially is a living vampire who can bond, Embrace, make new disciplines if she desires... From what sixthplaneteer has conceptualized: Kahn is a Ushebti (SETITE MAGICCC) construct made of flesh, given life through necromancy and Thinblood alchemy. She was grown in her mother's womb from start to finish and was born... obviously a TON of magic and blood had to happen. She was born in 2000! (In the older lore a Garou was also born in 2000 kind of like this as well, so we call them Apocalypse Twins haha!) And no - unless there was a SIGNIFICANT breach in trust - this news was kept extremely on the downlow within Harrakhty's inner circle. Many see Kahn as the second coming of Set and they would not allow any rumors to discredit her. Setites are incredibly secretive as is with their goings-ons, so this hopefully wouldn't be an issue they dealt with. Nyth and Noa when doing this for them are probably the only outsiders who know what went down. After Kahn was born, Harri and Pari went on a very long "away from the temple" sabbatical, not unlike them, and twenty years later returned with a full grown woman. So many followers would not have watched Kahanni grow up. Kahn DOES have a soul as well, so as a Ushebti construct, even if you were to fully explain how she was born, she more than likely would not crumble like a normal construct. She's a person, they just used similar magics in the process! Also: Kahn is basically Harri's twin, pre-Embrace. She grows tall like him, she's muscular and confident. She has some of her mother's striking features but she is all Harri. Setite Magic was used to change his appearance back in the late 1800s, so the two do not seem as similar as they would be if he looked as he was first Embraced. Thank you for asking!! :0 I'm so curious as to what you have in mind. :3c Bonus sketch of the family together!

[addedsugars]

sodaa !! can i pls hear anything u want to share or say abt ur dgm insert !! im rly all ears !! (@dmclr)

HIIIII CLARA HIII thank you so much honestly... I have so many thoughts cause none of my friends are into d gray man and there for have. no idea what I'm talking about!

this is a long post so have some songs I listened to while writing it <:3

⛈️ ⛅ 🌨️

I was going to make this like a big lore post but I realized there's a bunch of things I wanna figure out first and a bunch of things I'd have to explain and I don't wanna leave this in my ask box for. Months! So instead I'm gonna use this post to talk about my current design process hell. I'm like aware self insert designs don't need to be complicated or directly match the source material but. Mine does actually! No it can't just be me it needs to fit with the LORE

a big problem I've been having recently is colors... I would consider my s/I to be like... part of the main quartet to some extent and all of them have main colors I associate with them.

Allen is generally white or a pale grey but I could understand if someone argued for red because of his scar and arm, but red is more an accent color than a main color for me. when illustrated in a simpler way Hoshino will usually focus on including his pale-ness before his red accents so I consider that more important in his color hierarchy

Lenalee is obviously purple. her hair is canonically black but whenever hoshino stylized her its just. purple. and she also has purple eyes either way. shes purple.

Lavi's in an orangey red or just orange in the a very "He is a ginger." type way. you could also just say his color is ginger and i'd be like. yeah.

and then finally, Kanda's is very much blue, even in canon I think during the Alma arc when he went insane his hair turned blue. even if that wasn't true, like Lenalee his eyes are blue is canon, and when given the chance his hair is also stylized as blue.

that being said when the characters are so clearly color-coded I find it important to also color code my self insert a little which leads to the dilemma of: which color do I give them?

i know my blog's theme might lead one to believe otherwise but my favorite color is red, so of course that was my first choice, but even with red not being Allen's main color. it's still very prominent in his palette and felt like stepping on his toes a little, plus even excluding Allen, Lavi will often stray into red and i don't want to deprive him of that versatility in my art just to differentiate the two color-wise. there is the option to make them into more of a pinkish red so when i push Lavi into more red, they'd become more pink so palette-wise they stand out from each other but I'm iffy on that.

this is also to say it isn't unheard of for characters to share a main color but it's usually with purpose. Like Alma's main color is arguably blue but i think that's purseful seeing as Kanda and Alma's stories are extremely intertwined. it shows that they're connected to each other in a way others aren't, these two characters' bond is unique.

I also like to think that Kanda and Lanelee having similar colors with Kanda occasionally slipping into more indigo than his usual blue shows that they have a unique bond in their own way too but :3c that's more just wishful thinking on my part...

Allen's mentor Cross's main color is red, which very much makes sense to me with Lavi and Allen's dubious claims to red as their central color since all three of these characters have a connected history. I would get into how the histories are connected but then this post would NEVER END so we can't do that. not today at least.

that being said I DID consider my self insert blue as a central color because my character is obviously very connected to Kanda, but I didn't like the idea of them having the exact same shade of blue so I thought of making it maybe a little lighter or a little darker. i also did not like that though because it reminded me too much of one of my moots ships. WHICH IS NO SHADE TO THEM BTW I love his ship a lot and that's partly why I think my brain has decided they have a claim over that specific color combo.

besides even if all of the above wasn't true I think Alma and Kanda's bond is very specific and unique and I feel like sharing their color might... intrude upon that instead of building upon it, if that makes sense? My s/i is still connected to BOTH in a way but, at the beginning of their relationship especially, not in the way they're connected to each other. I don't like the idea of them signifying a sense of unity with Kanda by sharing a central color with him when that's simply not true for them until WAY later. maybe they'd wear each other's colors to show that or something...

At the moment I'm really considering yellow for multiple reasons...

an orangey yellow to be specific! partly because it would still connect them to Kanda and Alma in a weird way of being their opposite of the color wheel but also showing their distance by again, being their opposite. i think it also goes with some design themes I was playing. them being a warm yellow in contrast to Kanda's cool blue... i also liked the idea of their ability to involve a flash of light somehow. especially since i planned to make them light-sensitive and get migraines like meee :). its funny to me.

i believe that is all my thoughts for now!! at least the coherent ones. i might post some design concept later... for nyow, thank you for coming to my ted talk! like genuinely if you read all this thank you!!! i talk a lot.

[whataphantasia]

ugh ok that poll i reblogged made me listen to UUFO again and i didnt realize it's been like a few months since i listened to it in full FKKEDN (ok this got long so it's under a cut now)

every song ive just been going "OMG I LOVE THIS SONG" DJAKDJEK IM NORMAL IM NORMAL

i know its cringe to like a camellia album this much but uufo is like. a culmination of a LOT of the things i like, and all of camellias experience leading up to that point yk.. and so much love and effort went into it from so many different people.. auuuughhh

every part of the album comes together... i LOVE albums with a theme and this one is PARANORMAL OCCURENCES and URBAN LEGENDS and shit ITS EVERYTHING I LOVE!! the different pieces of album art... ufo girl... wauuuu wauuuu cries sobs

idc if its uncritical and cringe to love every song i do what i want. i dont rly care abt if a song is structurally good as long as it makes me happy it goes hard (and all of them make me happy)

the website.. so pretty...

ok im gonna go to bed after doinf this but heres a few tracks i want to ramble abt (i wish i could do all of the tracks but i wont (FOR NOW...))

for the longest time buzzbox was my favorite song LOL. it was one of my first songs on the album and the russian bass/hardcore mix is just SO good. idk why i liked it so much honestly, its not rly what i LISTEN to yk. i have a fond memory of making my geometry teacher listen to it in 10th grade and she never let me pick a class song again. SHE LIKED EDM TOO I THOUGHT SHE'D GET IT </33

obviously ghoul is amazing. no notes. everyone loves that song.

OOPARTS IS A BONUS TRACK ON THIS ALBUM. OOPARTS. OF COURSE IT'S GOOD

speaking of the muzzle facing.. god idk. the melodic metal undertones. i LOVE a big variety in musical textures and this song just SCRATCHES my DAMN BRAIN. the part where it goes *metal guitar riff* *oingo boingo ass scratching noises* ANDJWJDJEJD IM NORMAL (at 1:37)

POLYBIUS GB IS SO GOOD. the way every section of the song builds on eachother AUGH. the final drop with the chiptune/extratone. CAMELLIA AND HIS EXTRATONEY FINAL DROPS ARE SO GOOD WAUUU WAAAA

a lot of what i feel abt polybius gb ALSO applies to final blenderman!!!! except final blenderman has WAYY more electric guitar YEAHHHH!! camellia final drops. the shift from rock guitar to chiptune melody, and an extratoneish finale,, reminds me a bit of million pp actually? haha. it miiiight be my favorite song? it outranked buzzbox a while ago but tbh this place might be slipping for like, the muzzle facing.

i actually didnt like myths you forgot as much as the other tracks when i first listened to it.. idk why? maybe bc it was a little slower? past me has no taste bc this track is so layered. and good. thanks toby fox

artcore is usually an "eh, its good" for me (i have a lot of artcore i enjoy, like fallen symphony) but #1f1e33 is different.. just felt like pointing it out (esp since this album has a longer version of it) like! i never felt BORED! every section builds! and has interesting auditory textures! lol. ig thats how u keep my attention (not that "being boring" is inherently bad ofc)

i have really fond memories of listening to microwave-proof cat in like, 10th/9th grade... sighh that song is so fun. the main melody's texture is just so bouncy. kisses it.

OKAY. DAMN. its 3. i need to go to bed. i'd love to continue rambling abt this though. maybe later.

as of right now my favorite camellia song (outside of this album) is parallel universe shifter :3c yeah, like, his most recent 7 minute song. of course its good. idk just.. it has all the things i like in it. i'd love to be able to one day make music like this song specifically. but point is, it has all of my favorite musical things.. in it. idk how to explain it. the name too. its super personal to me LOL. and the references and callbacks in the song. so tasty

ig another 8+ track edm album i like is also good evening hollowood... can you tell i love paranormal/halloween themed albums. JK LOL the songs in that album have nothing to do with that. while im talking abt t+pazolite i like ponko2 girlish too.. maybe ill dedicate a post to that if i get bored.

OK FOR REAL NOW ILL STOP. BYE

[6okuto-moved]

YOUR TOUCHSTARVED HCS ARE GOD TIER I DON’T KNOW HOW YOU CAPTURED THEM SO WELL WITH JUST THE DEMO

If you want, could I ask for some with Vere and Kuras?? I feel in love with them in the demo and am in desperate need of more toushstarved content

GENERAL KURAS HCS

gn!reader | ?!!?!! GIGGLES..THANK U THANK U a girl never shares her secrets 😍🤫😘 jk ive shared characterization tips at Some point. KURAS TIME!!! ;3c

has a sense of humour where if you say something silly he Does find it amusing,, he just has a calm + direct demeanor. "can i climb you like a tree" > he blinks because he's caught off guard but smiles anyway. says you could definitely try, but he thinks it might be more effective to just pick you up, no?

the Look the others give him when he says a joke You often say that just...does not match him at all. awesome

he'd get you flowers. not in a bouquet of red roses way but in an i checked the meanings of all of these and personalized it to have your favourite colours and what you mean to me. i'll either explain to you the most devastating story of eternal love and our souls being intertwined or look at you and go :) who's to say what it means? and let you figure it out

next level putting things high up so you have to ask him for help. doesn't try to hide his amusement at all. "odd how it ended up there." ? Yeah i know right

but seriously if you're on the shorter side and you choose to get a chair instead of asking him he's a little upset. and worried. please don't hurt yourself

very serious if you hurt yourself or get sick. if you want to recover fast, let him take care of you. just know he's going to follow some strict rules to make sure you're healing as efficiently as possible

don't let this guy in the kitchen.... his lack of cooking skills make him very appreciative of any home cooked meals, and he knows some pretty good restaurants to make up for it

go ahead and hold onto kuras if you're stuck in a crowd again. like you Can trust him to not lose you, he meant that. but also he won't stop you from reaching for his hand/arm. asks if you're alright before continuing on

get him to relax by laying his head in your lap while you run your fingers through his hair

never minds bending down to kiss you. you can solve ths problem by getting him to sit down and standing between his legs by the way

forehead kisses are a go to!! and a hand on the small of your back

likes when the both of you talk about how your days went in the evening. i think he likes hearing about drama. he remembers names and stories and if he ever sees the person that pissed you off he's. a Little petty/passive-aggressive. he's really good at making it seem like it's accidental though. LOL

you know when you recommend something to someone and they figure out the big twist or mystery so fast you're like wtf. that's kuras. he pretends he doesn't know, especially the first few times, but eventually you just have to take the opportunity to make it a challenge. how fast can he do it y’know.

? glitter eyeshadow. give it a thought and come back to me.

morning person who gets breakfast for you by the time you're up

giving me words of affirmation and quality time vibes. inviting you out whenever he isn't working and making sure you know you're a priority... casually saying some kind of sincere, poetic praise..

sort of a dry texter but you know what. he's supportive. boyfriend who doesn't know what game you've started and are now incoherently ranting about but does his best to guess and support u. looks up the wiki to read about the characters and plot on his own time

when the game has a secret and kuras Offers a Suggestion. a Guess. and he's right. and ur like OMG :D and he :). pretends he didn't look it up because you told him you were stuck yesterday

[albatris]

happy blorbo blursday! may I near some Alex facts?

hi hello? hi. I'm several actual months late but I was wandering through my drafts and was like, oh, today is the day I am going to finally answer this apparently. wahoo surprise motivation time

anyway thank you for the blorbo blursday ask n sorry I'm so late with it ahaha

Alex facts! I can offer Alex facts <3

so, I have a bunch of posts where I explain a tonne of stuff about Alex n its personality n its backstory n history with Quinn in excruciating detail and many paragraphs and I will not subject you to this level of in depth writings, but I will give you some Basic Rundown Of Alex In General facts then I will give u some other random Alex facts, because I can c:

the Alex overview:

full name Alexis Anders.... possible joke full name Alexis Alexander Anders..... making it Alex Alexander Anders. did its parents think this would be funny

they were fucking right, it is funny

it/its pronouns with extra special friends, he/him for everybody else

aromantic and in a queerplatonic relationship with best friend Quinn. not asexual. sexuality is shrug emoji, though

kind and compassionate, firm and diplomatic...... has a reputation among most for being warm-hearted but stoic

the most petty spiteful pissed-off chaotically stubborn bastard on the planet, but you are unlikely to actually notice this unless you're very very close to it and can pick up on some very specific subtle cues. like. Alex is a genuinely wonderful, gentle, morally-upstanding person. Alex is also a huge bitch (affectionate)

fatally allergic to sunlight

once fucked off to an abandoned house in the wilderness for three months to fistfight vampire god, isolating itself from society and refusing to feed on humans, enduring near-constant agony, mind-manipulation and gaslighting from the Garble, and starvation

(the general consensus is that vampire god didn't give a fuck, and Alex would have eventually just died there, but man, idk. idk. it's Alex. I think there's a chance no matter how slim that the Garble might have flinched first)

a personal injuries lawyer! for some of the year, at least! during the winter and autumn, it lives in Melberra City, Melberra, where the weather leans towards rainy and cloudy most days and Alex is free to go about its day job with no issues :3c during sunny summer and spring, Alex returns to Darwelaide and a nocturnal sleeping pattern, n hangs out with Quinn n does some freelance work

an intensely private person and incredibly picky when it comes to friends and who it opens up to, but this is not to be confused with coldness, standoffishness or sombreness

Very Very Very Very Very Fucking Tall

gentle and adverse to physical violence but will floor a motherfucker in a debate (for profit or fun)

does not want to be a vampire. hates being a vampire. doesn't wanna eat people. yearns to be human again. mourns the life it had to leave behind

is a vampire nonetheless, however, and tries to balance out its various moral crises by hunting down and killing almost exclusively vicious, despicable human predators society will never hold accountable for their cruelty

is a fucking pro at goofy sleight of hand magic lmao

has a huge greenhouse full of herbs and flowers and veggies and other such wonderful things because Hobbies Are Good For One's Health! and is constantly trying to pan boxes of fresh produce off to whoever will take them because it grows way more than it can realistically use itself, n it's very proud of its greenhouse and wants to share :3

n now extra Alex dot points that don't belong in an overview but r fun nonetheless

the neighbourhood kids have a bunch of very hush-hush rumours between them that Alex is a vampire, 'cause it hardly ever comes outside during the daytime and its windows are all boarded up to keep sunlight out. they're right, yeah, but this is, like. goofy little kid games. it is a topic for them to play make believe with, mostly, and get over-imaginative about

the kids are not NOT scared of the idea that Alex might be a vampire, but also whenever Alex is around on Halloween it has the best candy so they will dutifully protect its secret lmao. also it helped one of their mums out with a whole workers compensation asbestos thing one time so is probably not, like, an evil vampire

(but yes, the general story around the suburb is just that Alex has a medical condition that results in extreme sun sensitivity)

Alex does canonically possess a conspiracy-theory-looking murder pinboard for planning for and researching its targets. Alex used to use a notebook but Quinn was like "no no no where's your DRAMA where's your PIZZAZZ your AESTHETIC you MUST let me help you make a murder pinboard" and Alex decided it would allow this (it seemed like appropriate enrichment for its chaotic best friend and might keep them out of trouble for a bit)

Alex's tarot card is Temperance

Alex is terrible with animals and pretends this doesn't make it sad

Alex is the only ordinary vampire in the story capable of using its blood for hypnotism!

Alex is the only vampire in the story, ordinary or otherwise, capable of using its blood for healing others as well as itself!

Alex will and often does sleep on its own, but likes to have company n only ever really sleeps comfortably and deeply next to Quinn, and later Nat

as far as vampires go, Alex has fuckin godlike levels of self-control and even seasoned vampire hunters like Zeke can rarely pick up on the fact that it's a vampire

and the most important Alex fact of all

it deserves a little kiss on the forehead and a warm mug of coffee with lots of cream and sugar <3

[sunsetshifting]

hii! how are u?

so i have a few questions <3

1. I wanna script me and the people in my dr don’t age at all at a certain year but i feel like i have to get specific and explain why it works that way. Do you have any advice / recommendations?

2. Is it true that all the realities are completely separate from one another and none of them are an “original” reality? Because I’d really like for it to be that way since i see it as really cool + comforting :D

3. If i script something like “__ is the exact same in my dr as it is in my cr” would it work? or would it be basing my dr off of my cr rn?

4. do i have to specify anything? like the details of the world and all that

have a great day!! i hope this isn’t too much to answer, i find comfort in your responses and your account in general <3

I'm doing really good!! Thanks for asking^^ :3c

I'm happy to answer any questions you might have, but I'll be chucking 3/4 of them under the cut, just to make it easier to scroll through for people trying to scroll my blog^^

You actually don't have to be specific about why this is, but if you want to, I have a few ideas! First idea is, of course, just scripting that people don't visibly/physically age after a certain point, or if they do, it's delayed by quite a bit (this pairs nicely with scripting extended lifespans^ which is something I do semi-often.) You could also script that visible age is tied to specific milestones (like how it works in Undertale, wherein monsters don't age past a certain point/die unless they have children.) Again, though, you don't actually have to specify why or how people don't age, as it would already be considered totally normal/understandable if you simply scripted in that that was how things already worked. An example of this in action would be similar to how some people script that periods don't exist. Nobody within the DR wonders where they are, or why they don't happen! It's simply the norm.~ .

"Is it true that all the realities are completely separate from one another and none of them are an “original” reality?"

. 2. From my view, yes! All realities, no matter how overlapping or similar, are all disconnected from one another in the sense that there is no 'original' reality amongst them. This isn't to say, however, that you or I are completely detached from these realities. Far from it! Whilst the realities are disconnected from one another, they still occupy the same space as one another. We are just as close to our DRs as we are to our OR/CR.

This one is a little trickier to give an example for, as the concept can be hard to wrap one's head around at first glance. The way a lot of people choose to view DRs is that they are physically or mentally distant from themselves, as if there is some quantifiable distance preventing them from being in direct contact with their DR. This, however, is not the case! Your consciousness is constantly overlapping with other versions of your consciousness across DRs (hence why some people even end up shifting accidentally), so much so that during a shifting attempt, you are typically only seconds away from shifting completely. Often, however, people are held back by their limiting beliefs, or their fears (not to say you can't shift with these, you absolutely can, it's just harder.)

All that to say that yes, all realities are separate, but not all realities are distant from one another.^^

.

"If i script something like “__ is the exact same in my dr as it is in my cr” would it work? or would it be basing my dr off of my cr rn?"

.

3. Yes, scripting like that will work! :) Scripting is not as all-or-nothing as some people might worry that it is. You can totally just take what you like, and leave what you don't!^^

An example is smth I actually scripted today! I scripted that I maintain my distinctive birthmark (on my ankle, looks pretty neat!) across all my DRs/DR selves. I could have a completely different appearance, with a DR utterly unconnected to my OR, but I can still maintain one or two (or however many I wanted, tbh) aspects from my OR/CR!

.

"do i have to specify anything? like the details of the world and all that"

.

4. You can be as vague or as specific as you'd like with your script! Your subconscious will pretty much always fill in the gaps, as it already knows perfectly well where you're intending to go. Even so, if you're worried, you can just script like "everything is like it is in X media" or "everything is how I envision it." Of course, things are liable to be a bit more unexpected/prone to surprising you the more vague you are, but most often not in any major ways.

An example being if you were to script a Stardew Valley DR, and you weren't super specific beyond being in Pelican Town. In all likelihood, everything will still be laid out the same, with the same people, and the same sort of atmosphere. It's not as if you'll accidentally shift to a version where everyone is evil, or where the environment would be hostile.

If there are specific things you'd like to add on, though, that aren't typically part of canon/the reality's normal rules, I do recommend scripting those specifically, just as a precaution! (Example, scripting in a yearly dance at UA or RAD.)

.

You have a great day, too! <33 It was really fun answering all these questions! It really makes me happy that people can take comfort in my account and the answers I try to provide <3 /gen

If you need clarification on anything, don't hesitate to send in a follow-up ask, okay? I'm happy to help in any way that I can!

<3 Happy Shifting! <3

[partyinthemysterymachine]

hey there! can i please request that in the next goomt chapter (69), if there are sex scenes could we get told when they start and end? I really do want to read the chap, but would like to evade that kind of content. thank u

hi there!! really funny you bring this up, actually!! LOL, and i'll explain why :3

FIRST OFF: no sex scenes occur in ch69 😔 i know, i know..... IT'S TRAGIC 😩😩😩😭😭😭 but Unfortunately™️, We're Just Not At That Point Yet At All 😔 i'm so sorry everyone i'm disappointing me too 😩😔😔😔😔

secondly!! thanks for bringing this up because while GOOMT will be getting sexually explicit in the future, it's not going to be happening anytime soon.

when it does, i will for SURE be updating the tags accordingly of course, and i already plan to slap a full warning in the author's notes of the chapter it first happens.

i've started to casually gather feedback among friends as to whether or not i should warn in every chapter there will be sex; and right now, the feedback is mixed. but again, i don't expect there to be any explicit content happening anytime soon, i do plan to formally broach the topic to the masses on my blog the closer i get to anticipating a Raunchy Scene, so i can sort of figure out the best method of approach for everyone and also what i'd want to say in that first disclaimer.

one thing i can say for certain is this: character (and sub-plot, so to speak) development WILL BE occurring in many future sex scenes, and i will NOT be offering any sort of summaries to those who do not read them.

i will also not be giving any sort of warning in the middle of the chapter of upcoming sex. some chapters may even begin with sex; others might have some naughtiness sprinkled in, or may possibly end with it.

i want you to know that i understand your concerns about wanting to avoid the sexually explicit stuff, and i really do sympathize and respect where you're coming from; but unfortunately, i cannot give any other warnings about sexually explicit content in chapters (such as bracketed warnings during the chapter) other than warning for it in the author's notes at the start of a chapter.

i'm sorry if this is disappointing for you, although i really hope that you understand my decision. but again: i do plan to seriously pitch the topic to the masses as to whether or not i should warn in the beginning author's notes of every chapter to sexually explicit content within, or simply ONE umbrella warning/disclaimer in the first chapter it happens, to expect it at any point in the future without warning. we are not anywhere near that though, so no worries.

thank you so much for approaching me about your concerns, because i really, really do want to hear them! if you have any other questions or concerns about this or anything else, please don't hesitate to send me another ask :3c

i hope u are having a good day and that you stay cool, healthy, and safe out there!! cheers mate :3c!! 💖💖💖

[stuff-from-the-void-matron]

Laurel Wreaths & Animal Teeth (4)

(c!Technoblade x fem!Reader)

(people seem to like this for now but remember, no reblogs/comments then i’m gonna assume people lost interest. so show u enjoy this please!! <3 also someone drew fanart of Reader, check it out at the bottom! :3c)

-------------

“Come ON Wilbur! Come with me to check out the huge village I found the other week!” shouted Tommy while making sure to get in his older brother’s way as much as possible. He figured if Wilbur was focused on him and not whatever ‘super important’ shit he was busy with then he’d join him.

Wilbur meanwhile was doing everything he could to sidestep and ignore said younger brother. Now usually he’d humor the much younger boy but Wilbur was sorta busy at the moment. There’s been murmurs of unrest within the L’manburg territory lately since new faces have joined their country. 

Apparently they weren’t happy about the fact that Wilbur was a self appointed president, and likened him to a dictator because of it since no one got a say in his leadership role. Which Wilbur thought was highly unfair. He’d fought tooth and nail for his country, so they could have and enjoy all the freedoms to do as they pleased without Dream and his cronies breathing down their necks.

Everything he did he did for his country. But he didn’t want them to see him as some unsympathetic tyrant who didn’t listen to his people. He’s not Dream, he actually listens when they speak, even when they say they don’t like his self appointed role as president. So yes, Wilbur was sort of busy with more important things than goofing off and finding some random village. But instead of snapping he just sighed and said,

“Tommy, I’m working. We’re supposed to be running a country, remember?”

The aforementioned boy let out an aggravated sigh, he knows they have a duty to L’Manburg, he’s not stupid! But he also knows they need to be allowed to have some fun now and again too! Or they’ll go crazy! And Tommy was sure Wilbur would go mad if he stayed cooped up inside all the time working! So this was his way of dragging his brother out for his own good.

But Wilbur was being especially stubborn (wonder where Tommy got it…) and was refusing to budge. 

“I don’t have time right now Tommy! Ask Tubbo or Fundy to tag along. I’m sure they’d love to go vandalize a village with you,” Wilbur distractedly said as he wrote down some notes in one of his books. 

Tommy was tired of fighting Wilbur on this and decided to hell with it, he’d just take the L this time. So he scoffed and said “Whatever” in the most pissed off teen voice he could physically summon and turned away from Wilbur and stormed out of the brunet president’s house, making sure to slam the wooden door as hard as he could on his way out. 

It seemed like all Wilbur did was mope around and WORK since they’d won independence from the Dream SMP. What the hell was the point of even FIGHTING for said freedom if Wilbur wasn’t even going to enjoy it?? 

Tommy pushed those thoughts away and went to search out Tubbo, he could always count on his best friend to follow him into some mischief! Unlike SOME people. And thankfully it didn’t take the rambunctious blond long to find his friend, and with a grin he ran and jumped on the shorter boy, making him yelp in shock and nearly fall. But then Tubbo saw who it was and started laughing and shoving the taller boy away half heartedly. But after goofing around a bit Tommy remembers why he’d searched out Tubbo in the first place.

“Oi Tubbo, come with me to this weird village I found the other week. I was gonna explore it when I found it but Wilbur said there was an emergency and I had to leave before I could,” he said as they both walked along the main path.

“Yeah sure, but why was it ‘weird’? Was it one of those ones that’s built somewhere stupid like half on a cliff?” Tubbo asked with a laugh. 

The two laughed and Tommy explained that the village just looked different? Like there was no cobble! Which was ridiculous because in his opinion that was the best part of villages was all the cobble buildings. Not that he was biased or anything like an American. 

But Tubbo just laughed and said sure, they could go check it out. He didn’t have anything else important to do today anyways. Tommy gave a triumphant ‘yeah!!’ because at least he got ONE of his friends to not be a total loser and go out to have some good old fashioned fun with him. 

Tubbo told him to lead the way so they were off.

-0-

Many blocks away in your village you were getting out of your ‘shower’, which was really just a waterfall hidden by thick trees and hanging vines behind your temple home. But it was the best shower you’d ever used thanks to how the water fell over you in huge sheets. You’d honestly stay in it for hours if you didn’t hate being bored just standing there. But you did get bored, so you got out and began drying off.

Once you were dry you started getting dressed in your usual outfit, then once done you paused before reaching down to grab the newest item of your outfit..

Your mask.

...

After your… horn discovery the week before you’d just laid in bed all day for a couple days. Not leaving your temple for any reason, not even to shower or eat. You’d have been feeling worse if you’d actually needed food but thankfully you didn’t, so when you finally got your ass in gear and got up to bathe you only felt marginally like shit. At least you had until you went to go bathe…...

But on that first day up you’d just stared at yourself in the reflection of the water and sighed. You didn’t have the urge to cry anymore, so that was a good thing. But you also weren’t a fan of the new horns or glowing eyes you’d had since ending up here. You weren’t even sure what KIND of horns these were?? And… call you crazy but you SWEAR they were bigger than they were before your stint laying in bed..

They’d only been little nubs before, not even as big as your thumb! But now they were at least five inches long and sort of splitting at the tips? It looked weird and honestly felt even weirder what with that velvety texture covering them. You made the foolish mistake of grumbling to yourself, 

“Things couldn’t get weirder, right?”

And as if the universe heard you… you discovered a new ‘appendage’ on your body while you started to wash your body off. You’d been lost in thought, just scrubbing yourself with a soapy washcloth when you’d started reaching around to wash your back, your washcloth brushed against something protruding from the base of your spine, right above your ass. This time you didn’t start panicking, you think you were still worn out from the days previous, so instead of freaking out you just slowly craned your neck around to see if you could glimpse the...thing.

A tail. 

You blinked, shocked but also.. confused? What in the absolute fuck? Why? When?? This time there was no sobbing or breakdown, you were honestly just puzzled. Are you ever going to STOP growing animal traits or what? Under any other circumstances you might even call the tail cute. It was small, probably just smaller than your hand and about the same shape too. And the majority of the top of it was the same color as your hair, but the sides (and underside after you got curious enough to look under it) were a soft white. With how you were in water the tail looked rather unimpressive and you couldn’t identify what kind of tail it was, but if it was at all connected to the horns then maybe deer? Or caribou? Reindeer? The last two seemed more likely since those animals’ females actually grew antlers you think. 

Having to adjust to all this new shit practically every other day was giving you a headache. With a tired sigh you rubbed the area around the base of your antlers, soothed slightly by how the action dulled your headache. But you couldn’t ignore the issue at hand, so you swallowed down your unease and instead just decided since you couldn’t control these… unnatural features then.. well, you’d just cover them up or since that wasn’t possible for the horns now you’d just disguise them?

You’d been stumped for a while on how to even DO that but eventually you’d gone down to the village to feed the animals and you’d watched the armorer leave his house to get started working for the day. And you’d noticed the mask he wore pushed up on his forehead. That’s when the idea for a mask hit you. But you didn’t know how to make or even craft a mask, so you’d gone to the armorer and asked him about it. It was hard to grasp what he was saying clearly but after the months living with the villagers you’d picked up some stuff and could understand them some.

So you let him show you how to make a standard iron mask like his, though the first one he’d made hadn’t fit you in the end so he’d made a second after tweaking the size a bit so it’d fit your face right, since your face shapes weren’t the same. But you were thankful and said so after you put it on. Though the eye holes still revealed your eyes, which you didn’t like. You asked how hard it would be to put reflective lenses in them to prevent your eyes from being seen.

That question turned into the armorer calling over the cartographer, the stonemason, and the shepherd oddly enough to help him out. They were murmuring and crowding around the armorer’s workstation while you watched from the edge of the porch where you sat idly. You didn’t want to hover over them like some busybody, so you sat patiently to see what they came up with together. 

And after a while your patience was rewarded when they came over to show you the fruit of their collaboration. And it surprised you how gorgeous it was, which wasn’t fair since you had 4 skill masters working on it together for you.

The mask was actually very beautiful. 

It was a white half mask that only covered your eyes, forehead, and upper nose/cheeks but left the lower half of your face bare. And you think it was simply painted white because it felt about as heavy as iron, but the part that amazed you was how it almost looked Venetian in design. On the forehead of the mask was a golden sun, and golden floral swirls came from the corners of the mask and curled near the cheeks and sides of the sun on the forehead, making the mask look elegant and almost vintage.

But the best parts in your opinion were the glass lenses in the eye holes. They were reflective and the same colors as your banner! You don’t know how the villagers did it but the edges of the lens were a goldish orange and the color faded into a violet in the center. You worried you wouldn’t be able to see through them but when you put the mask on you realized the lens only gave things a VERY slight blue/grey tint. So slight in fact that you could fully ignore it if you wanted. 

And the second best part was some of the floral swirls actually swirled UP past the top edge of the mask and rested against your horns, giving the illusion that they were somehow part of the mask. Actually with the mask on you could almost trick yourself into thinking you were just wearing a cool looking Mardi Gras mask! 

You clapped your hands in glee and couldn’t help the excited sound you let out as you gushed and told them it was perfect! They all let out bashful happy murmurs and generally looked shyly pleased with your praise. You tried to give them each some emeralds but they refused to take them, grunting and shaking their heads each time you attempted to push the gems towards them. Eventually you gave up and resigned to accepting the mask as a gift, but you’d definitely do something nice for them later, to make up for their hard work.

…

You’d taken to wearing the mask at all times when not in the privacy of your temple. Which wasn’t very hard to get accustomed to. The mask was lightweight and the lenses honestly helped shield your eyes from the glare of the sun so win/win. And it also made your horns, in your opinion at least, less in your face. Which was good because they were definitely still growing. You could tell. And the split in the tip was now more pronounced, making you wonder if they were like… reindeer antlers? It would fit with the tail currently growing out the base of your spine, said tail that now looked REALLY like a fluffy little deer tail since the hair/fur on it had dried. 

One good thing was that your tail wasn’t long or huge and could actually be hidden relatively easily under a shawl you tied around your waist. So that was one less thing to worry about. Though your life would infinitely be easier if you didn’t have to deal with all this inhuman bullshit. But you supposed life wasn’t fair and expecting it to be was foolish. 

“At least I’m not part some weird animal like an aardvark or something…” you mumble to yourself, trying to view this whole thing in a ‘glass half full’ sort of way. 

You’d decided to relax and unwind from your recent discovery by just taking things easy for a while. First day since you got the mask and such you just chilled and started a small farm for yourself. You didn’t need the food but the process of building the farm and toiling the earth and then sowing the seeds was actually pretty therapeutic. The repetition of it all was pretty calming. Just you, your gardening tools, and the earth beneath your feet.

The days following were pretty much the same. You’d tend your garden first thing in the morning after your shower, then you’d go off to find something else easy to fill your time. You took up feeding the animals, making flower boxes and planters around the town to make it more colorful, potion brewing, and even fishing. Which was what you were doing right now actually.

You were sitting on the edge of the pond next to your temple, bare legs in the cool water and your back resting against the side of another grass block, an enchanted fishing rod you’d traded the town fisherman for sitting stuck in the ground next to you while you relaxed. The day was actually quite beautiful and nice. Sun streamed down over you from between the bamboo behind you, fluffy fat bees buzzed overhead as they hunted lazily for pollen, and you were close to dozing off.

“Hnn! Hnn! Hnnn!!”

At least you would have dozed off if you hadn’t heard one of the villagers sorta freaking out. You looked up and saw one of the farmers panickedly shuffling about at the top of the small hill to your left. You wondered if zombies got into the village again? But no it was sunny out, they’d be burning if they did. Illagers maybe? But how would they have gotten around the bamboo and prickly berry bushes?? Well there wasn’t anything else for you to do than do see what was wrong.

You put away your fishing rod, got up and dusted yourself off before hurrying up the hill after the villager. You trailed after them down the lantern lit path but so far didn’t see anything, but you perked up when you heard telltale sounds of one of the iron golems fighting something and taking damage. That put some urgency in your gait and soon you were running to see what was going on. You rush past the fletcher’s home and then the cartographer’s right after but nothing. Then you finally round the corner where the market is set up and see at the very end of the path next to the cleric’s church is the altercation. 

You sprint down the path, yelling for the villager’s to stay inside until you ring the town bell as you run past them. You hear the doors slam closed behind you and you manage to get to the problem right as your iron golem gives one last cry before getting poofed. You gasp sadly and then glare when you hear cheering. A blond boy that was shorter than you hopped down from a dirt block tower and scooped up the fallen iron ingots the poor iron golem dropped upon its death.

You were so pissed that you ignored the nagging feeling in the back of your focus that said this kid looked familiar. It wasn’t until he finally turned to look at you that it hit you. Holy shit this kid looked… and sounded.. like that minecraft youtuber, TommyInnit.. Like eerily so. You’re glad you’re wearing your mask so he can’t see the deer in headlights (*ba-dun-ts*) look on your face at the sight of him. And your shock didn’t fade with him speaking. If anything it reinforced the idea that this kid was weirdly reminiscent of that youtuber. 

“Holy fuck! You are a MASSIVE woman. Wait, who the fuck are you?!” he said in a loud tone of voice as he looked up at you. It made your eyebrows furrow. You were NOT that big! He was just short! You even crossed your arms and told him so, which earned a snicker from the little brown haired boy in dark green overalls next to him. The blond boy scoffed, looked fully offended, snarked back that you were about the same height as a ‘bloody fuckin’ iron golem!’ so yes you were huge.

You glared at the little TommyInnit look alike and instead of arguing about your height you started scolding both boys, which they hadn’t really.. expected? At least from the surprised looks on their faces (which still had the roundness that came from baby fat). The brunet rubbed his elbow and sort of toed the dirt under his feet while the blond crossed his arms and almost looked to be pouting from the scolding.

“My height isn’t the issue here! The issue is you two barging into my village, killing one of my iron golems, stealing the loot from it, and scaring my poor villagers!! What in the hell were you two thinking?” 

The blond tried to cut in, to defend himself but he barely got out the first syllable before you held up your hand to signal for him to silence himself as you snapped,

“I do NOT wanna hear it! You treat others this way?? Like they’re nothing, like their possessions and peace of mind don’t mean a damn thing?! Shame on you both!!” 

By the end the two boys looked properly scolded. The brunet wondered if THIS is what it felt like to get scolded by one’s mother, and if it was then he’d like to avoid it for the remainder of his life. And the blond meanwhile actually didn’t have anything to say, or more accurately he didn’t know what to say to not feel like he was in massive trouble.

You meanwhile were just annoyed at this point, so you held you hand out (causing both boys to give you wondering looks) before you demanded the iron ingots that the blond stole from your slain iron golem. He got all in a huff, saying he earned them and they were just ingots- but you slapped that train of thought down with an angry,

“EARNED?? More like STOLE! After you killed my iron golem! Now give them back! I have to use them to make a new golem to protect this village.”

The blond sputtered, face blooming red at being blatantly called out on his theft, before muttering in embarrassment and pulling the ingots out and practically tossing them at you. You caught them and returned them to your inventory before shaking your head at the two and saying they should leave if their only goal in your village was to kill and destroy property. The small brunet quickly spoke up and said,

“No wait, we didn’t come just to mess stuff up! We came cuz Tommy said he found this place last week and it wasn’t the usual village so we wanted to explore it.”

Your stomach churned at the name.. Tommy. This was getting weird again. Way too fucking weird. But you resisted clenching your teeth anxiously like you wanted, instead you raised an eyebrow they couldn’t see and shot back,

“Oh yeah? And how did that escalate into killing my iron golem?”

This time it was ‘Tommy’ who cut in and said it had been an accident! They’d apparently been looking around when Tubbo (you felt queasy now after hearing that name too…) started fighting a spider and Tommy came over to help him, but in the process he accidentally hit the iron golem, who got pissed and smacked him.

“I ran from the thing and towered up three blocks! I knew it wouldn’t let up so I had to kill it! S’not my fault the bastard was holding a grudge!!” Tommy said heatedly, arms still crossed defiantly.

You wanted to rub your temples in exasperation but couldn’t without removing your mask. And like hell you were showing these kids your weirdo inhuman eyes. Though… if they really were the characters from.. the videos you got hooked on? Honestly this whole thing was 10 times weirder than the stupid glowy eyes or even the horns or tail.. Like this has to be proof you’re really dreaming or in a coma or something. What other logical explanation could there BE? These kids aren’t real. Nothing here is. It CAN’T be. The real people behind these… minecraft characters? They’re not here. In this place.

Before you could do a kickflip off the edge of your sanity into a full on mental breakdown you took in a calming breath and pushed those thoughts away until you were alone to give it the proper attention. And maybe so you could have your panic attack in peace and quiet. But right now you had two kids causing ruckus in your village. So you just said,

“Yeah alright, fine. I’ll forgive you both THIS TIME. But don’t make a habit of causing trouble in my village. And you can look around and explore, just don’t steal anything or hurt any of my villagers or animals. Got it?”

The two boys nodded, happy to not have you giving them that Angry Adult Tone anymore. So you turned and started walking back to the middle of the village, calling for them to come on. You had to ring the village center bell to tell everyone everything was okay.

Both boys shared a glance before Tubbo smiled and started jogging after you, Tommy right behind him, both curious about you and your village.

------------

(a/n: YOOO SOMEONE DREW READER FANART AND IT’S FUCKING BOMB DUDES CHECK IT OUT!!  (Reader looking heavenly~) uwu)

@salinesoot​ @lady-bee-fechin​ @kacchasu​ @putridjoy​ @lunawritesstories​ @galaxypankitty3030​ ​ @paradigmax​ @zachariethememerie​ @killmewithafanfic @trinity-1002107 @hufflepuff-demigod @truthdaze @exorcisms-with-elmo @redbloodtea @heythereimhaylz @olyink @jackalopedoodles​ @nikkineeky​ @artsimatsu​​

[adhduskull]

Bro danny phantom is so cool n stuff, infodump man!!!! Just,, yeet ur feelings about it. I love fanart n stuff of danny so gimy ur thoughts on it!!!

!!!!

Well, so first off I have a whole sideblog for it @superphlyduskull :3c if ur interested

Second this is straight up like. The most invested I've ever been in a fandom tbh, it's the first time I've posted anything and the first time I've attempted fanfiction!! (tho I haven't finished or posted anything yet) I recently thought up a headcanon that ghosts see more of the light spectrum than we do and that thats also how they become invisible, by only reflecting light humans can't see. I'd like to make a little fic abt it I think! Maybe one where a bunch of bugs follow him around bc I think it'd be cute

I think what really gets me about this fandom is the potential for worldbuilding. The show did close to fuck all in terms of exploring its own lore, but there were hints everywhere of how the world might work, and it's SO FUN to play with!! It leads to so many interpretations that are all equally plausible! Plus the huge amount of AUs inspired just by the source material... the way it lends itself to crossovers super easily as well, considering Clockwork has sent Danny into a different universe in the show (yknow, to stop the timeline where his family and friends and teacher die because he cheated on a test, eventually leading to him destroying the world...... there are some interesting morals in the show)

The angst potential is also insane, and I'm actually interacting with angst a lot more in this fandom than I usually would bc its so beautifully handled a lot of the time. Between identity reveals going wrong and the Guys in White getting a hold of him and Vlad being a shitbag to Danny being the GHOST KING

Ghost King Danny is probably one of my favorite AUs, I think partially bc its really fun to explore how insane it is for poor Danny to be saddled with this huge responsibility, and also to see how much power that gives him? Like on the one hand thats too much for a kid his age to handle and I feel like I might be projecting a bit since I was responsible for more than I would've liked from a young age, but also it reeeally spices up identity reveal scenarios and can save him too much grief in others bc depending on the take, a huge amount of the ghost zone has his back!! Like uhhh No, you are NOT going to mess with our King, [insert possible antagonist here]

It's also super fun to think of what ghost culture might be like, as well as just how ghosts work! We see glimpses in the show, but again, nothing is explored much? I love the universally accepted headcanon that ghosts have a vital organ called a core (though how it works varies greatly from person to person), and the idea that there are multiple ways a ghost forms (like from a being dying, or just forming from ectoplasm and strong emotions or big concepts, or being straight up born??). I've also seen the idea that a lot of ghosts don't really mean harm to Danny and that ghost culture is generally more violent bc they're not as squishy as humans!

Also!! There's gonna be a new graphic novel which is sick as hell! We don't know much more than that, but hopefully Nickolodeon doesn't mess too much with the creative team, because I'm really interested to see where they take it (especially since I think bitch fartman doesn't have any say in decisions? I'm not sure on that tho). Either way it's new content and I'm excited to see where the fandom goes with it too!

I have also realized the reason I don't infodump much is because I'm terrible at explaining things and trip over my words and am hard to follow lmao, particularly in person. You'd think that as an actor I'd be a little better with words but naaah lmao. I need to rehearse them for them to come out right apparently

Anyway idk how coherent that was but if u ever want to hear me ramble about dp feel free to send me more asks! Esp on my sideblog, I'm Always down down yell abt it!! Thank u for sending me that ask btw, it was really nice to do a bit of infodumping!!!💜💜💜

[multi-lefaiye]

hi hello hi! I'm thinkin... hm... 19 and 16 for arthur/noah, 28 for markus/juno aaaaaand... 8 and 10 for the roach polycule since I can't resist asking about them hehe :3c

hi hi hello!!! :D yes thank you!!!! i love them,, also omg yes the roach polycule,,,, thank u for asking!!!!

Arthur/Noah:

How do they silently/subtly express their love for each other?

Oh, there are SO many ways, but to keep this from getting TOO long I'll just list one or two for each of them.

Arthur is very much the kind of person who expresses affection through action. I think the way he'd most often express subtle affection for Noah is by doing little things for him, like helping him clean or getting him his favorite food. Actually one of my favorite parts of the confession scene with these two is like,,, Arthur ordered food for them both, and he made sure to get Noah's favorite b/c he knew Noah had a rough day. Arthur is a sweetheart.

Noah, meanwhile, is a bit like a cat in some ways. I think he's very much the type who subtly expresses affection by just spending time with someone, either cuddling up with them or just hanging out without saying anything. I think a common occurrence with these two would just be like. Arthur and Noah sitting together on the couch, Arthur playing his videogames and Noah typing away on his laptop. Just enjoying each other's company.

(Now and then Noah leans over to see what Arthur's doing and ask him questions about it, because even if Noah doesn't understand Pokemon, he likes how enthusiastically Arthur explains it.)

What’s their favorite “domestic bliss” moment? Do they cook/clean together? Do they like to go out shopping together?

Oh they absolutely cook and clean together whenever they can!! It doesn't always work out with their schedules, especially after they get married, but they try to whenever they can. If they can't cook together, they usually operate on the system of like... whoever doesn't cook is the one who cleans up afterward (though usually they both end up helping there too).

I'm a firm believer also in the intimacy (not even necessarily romantic) of going to the grocery store with someone. So I imagine that's something they would really enjoy doing, especially early in their relationship.

Markus/Juno:

What’s something that reminds them of their partner(s)? Do they have anything on them daily as a reminder (a photo, phone background, tattoo, clothing/accessory, etc)?

Time to be sad on main-

Anyway I think Juno carries a few reminders of Markus with them, the most significant of which that comes to mind immediately is an old lighter. It doesn't really work anymore, but it's a nice one that he gave them a few years or so into knowing each other. I think it'd even be a family heirloom, given to him by his father or grandfather--he decided to give it to them because he doesn't have anyone else to pass it on to. Juno keeps it in their pocket, and when they're overwhelmed or anxious, fiddling with it calms them down.

As for things Markus would have to remind him of Juno... that's something I'm gonna have to think about, hmm :3c

The Roach Polycule:

Do they have any favorite activities to do together?

I think they have a lot of things they'd like to do together, but one thing that I love thinking about is the idea of them setting aside a night each week, whenever possible, to spend time together and do whatever one of them wants to do. They rotate each time, and it's a great way to bond and hang out. They'll have movie nights, game nights, and much more! Just spending time together is fun <3

One thing that I think they do semi-often is have like. Little competitions. Like they'll play Mario Kart or something, and it will very quickly get out of hand. Oliver isn't very competitive, but Roach and Vincent very much are. He thinks it's fun to watch them go FERAL.

Who drives and who picks out the music?

Roach is the only one in the polycule who is not allowed to drive under any circumstances. They've never been in a bad accident, but it's been close enough that Oliver (as gently and lovingly as possible) insists on driving. That's okay, though, because that means Roach always picks the music <3 Oliver has definitely developed a fondness for vaporwave after listening to them blast it while he's driving.

Vincent, meanwhile, usually gets relegated to the backseat whenever they're all in the car together. He made one too many jokes about Roach needing a booster seat b/c they're short, and now they won't let him sit in the front. Sometimes, though, they'll let him pick the music, because they're very nice and forgiving that way.

(Oliver thinks this whole thing is hilarious.)

[aimeelouart]

WHAT. oh my god diff anon but i loved the snippet with ur protag but also HOW CLD U THROW HER TO HOJO.. UR VERY OWN CHILD /j anyway very excited to see u talk abt ur setting and lora more i like the her

>:3c Shall we have a part two of this self-indulgent SSC crossover, then?

Lora wasn’t missing for long, but she was missing long enough. They found her in the labs, floating curled-up in an empty holding tank⁠. The glass and metal was all melted to slag around her, but she didn’t seem aware. Her whole body was glowing like liquid steel, eyes open wide and mouth slack as bluish-white light poured from the inside of her throat. The bodies of unlucky lab technicians littered the ground around the tank.

Science had finally tried to meddle in something truly beyond their grasp.

They found Hojo, too, burned to near unrecognizability and leaning up against a control panel. He was muttering deliriously to himself, breath rasping like sandpaper down his damaged throat. “Magnif...icent...like...the power...she’s…”

Sephiroth stared at him coldly. He couldn’t put Masamune through the wretch’s body without consequences⁠...but he could leave him to die. So he stepped over the body of his father and moved to the computer by the control panel, pulling up the information he needed. 

The radiation pouring from the little outworlder child was frankly staggering. If it wasn’t for the protective shields around this section of the room, Hojo would have been long dead. More’s the pity, though the shields were also protecting the Firsts at the moment.

“What do we do?” Genesis asked as he looked at Lora’s glowing form. “What did he even do to get her in that state?”

“Is there anything we can do without getting burned to a crisp?” Angeal said, looking between the temperature readout and the molten state of the holding tank.

“At a distance, maybe” Sephiroth replied, leaning away from the screen and tilting his head a little. “Let us start with the obvious.” He flicked on the intercom. “Ameliora Octavia Perdel,” he said, enunciating each name clearly. “Do you remember my voice? It’s Sephiroth. Genesis, Angeal, and I are all here. You are safe now, but we can’t reach you until you calm down.”

The radiation levels dipped slightly.

Genesis bumped Sephiroth away with his shoulder. “Princess,” he crooned. “Princess, what mess did you get into, hmm? That all looks quite exhausting. Why don’t we tone it down a bit more?”

This time, she blinked and uncurled a little, legs dipping toward the floor.

Angeal went next. Maybe hearing all their voices individually was the key factor. “Just listen to my voice, Lora. Can you see where you are? I know it must be scary, but we can’t come get you until you calm down.”

The radiation levels fell rapidly, matched by the way her skin’s unnatural luminance dimmed. Her mouth was moving, eyes blinking rapidly. Steam hissed off her cheeks as she started to cry. Delicately, her feet touched the melted floor of the cage. The second the radiation levels had fallen enough to be safe (safe for a SOLDIER) they left the shielded vestibule behind and ran into the room. 

The air was stiflingly hot, like an oven, and had an odd metallic tang to it. The hairs on their arms stood on end. Sephiroth darted forward as the last of the glow faded from Lora’s skin and quickly pulled her out of the molten tank. Her clothing was gone (taken or destroyed?) , and he wasn’t sure if her unprotected skin would burn against the metal. His boots left thin layers of melted rubber as he stepped quickly in and out.

Wordless, Genesis stripped off his coat and together they wrapped her in it. She still felt unnaturally hot, like a soldier pulled from the desert with heatstroke. Her eyes were wide and blank, irises glowing even when the rest of her didn’t. Odd green sparks danced within her pupils. Her lips were still moving as she murmured fretfully, but the language she spoke was incomprehensible to them.

Angeal glanced at the burned corpses. “Shhh, close your eyes for a minute, Lora.” When she didn’t respond, he frowned and held his hand over her eyes⁠, walking beside Sephiroth. He didn't cover them all the way⁠—didn’t block the light⁠—but he made sure she wouldn’t see the bodies.

And as they passed out of the room, Hojo’s rasping voice stuttered, stalled, and at last fell silent.

—

Cloud had fallen asleep almost as soon as the Firsts had gotten their hands on him again. He wasn’t too upset, actually—he’d accomplished all his goals this time around. But he was a bit miffed when he woke up with a little girl’s sleeping face just a few feet from his.

He sat up quickly, scooting backward a little. She didn’t wake, and after a few seconds he recognized her as the odd child who’d helped him escape. What the hell was she doing here in—he glanced around—Sephiroth’s bed? 

Gaia, was she here because he’d accepted her ‘help?’ He’d assumed they would just get her back to her parents.

The door opened and Angeal poked his head in, one finger raised to his lips. He gestured to the girl, then motioned Cloud toward him. When they were out in the hallway, Cloud harshly whispered, “why’s she here?” with a suspicious glare.

Angeal rolled his eyes a little and herded him away from the door, not responding until they were in the kitchen. “Her name is Lora, and she’s here for much the same reason you are. No one else could safely keep her.”

“Okay, first off I don’t need to be kept,” he said, glaring as he took a chair. “You just think I do. Second off, why?”

Genesis sauntered in and answered for Angeal. “Because she has strange and frankly inconceivable abilities, Cloud. Beyond that, we are not keeping her forever, merely waiting for her parents to find her.”

“Theoretically,” Angeal muttered, tending to the food on the stove. It smelled like stir-fry.

Sephiroth arrived to join the conversation as well. “Given what we have seen, do you really find it so unlikely that her Grandfather would be capable of similar feats? I am inclined to doubt nothing, at this point.”

Cloud was baffled. Feats? Abilities? He’d given the kid a chunk of his hair in exchange for her providing a distraction—she’d claimed something about ‘needing it for the spell.’ Had she...meant something real by that?

Genesis noticed his baffled expression. “Lora doesn’t need materia to do magic,” he explained succinctly. “There are some other things too, but that’s the gist of it.”

Cloud paled. Alright, maybe it really was better if they kept her here. He didn’t even want to think about what would happen if Hojo got his hands on her.

Sephiroth was staring at him intently. “Hojo is dead.”

Every thought went right out the window. “What?”

“Hojo is dead. He’s never going to hurt anyone else again.”

How? His lips moved, but he made no sound. The damned Professor had been at the top of his list of things to take care of, what could possibly have taken him out before Cloud could even try?

Angeal lowered his voice enough that no one but a SOLDIER had any hope of making out his words. “Lora killed him, and we are not going to tell her that, understand?” For the first time, a very serious, protective look was aimed at Cloud for someone else’s sake. “She’s not like you, Cloud. She was protected from the whole world until she came to Midgar.”

“...right,” he said numbly. “I’d never hurt a kid.”

All three of them gave him Looks at that, but he was spared the commentary by a distressed, high-pitched whine from the direction of the bedroom. Genesis vanished from the kitchen in the space of a breath. When he came back, it was with the girl bundled up in a blanket, sniffling into his shoulder.

“It’s alright, darling,” Genesis was...crooning. Cloud was vaguely glad that particular tone (in that particular intensity) had never been aimed at him. He might have bitten the man’s fingers off. It seemed to be working on the actual seven-year-old though. “Shh...you’re fine. You’re safe. Don’t you want to come out and meet Cloud properly?”

Still sniffling, she raised her head and turned to Cloud. She looked groggy and miserable, eyes red-rimmed and teary, but when she saw him her face lit up.

“D’you do it?” She asked in a sleep-roughened voice, smiling. “Your task?”

“Uh,” he blinked. “Yeah. I did. Thanks for the help.”

She beamed, forgetting her tears entirely. “Welcome. It’s important to always follow your Virtue.”

He had a feeling he was missing a lot of the context of that statement, but he thought he’d gotten the gist. “Yeah.”

When they ate dinner she sat in Angeal's lap, still bundled up in the blanket. Half way through her plate⁠—her proportions were hilariously tiny compared to the four enhanced SOLDIERs⁠—she made a face and pushed it away.

“What’s wrong, Lora?” Genesis asked.

“Hurts,” she said, rubbing at the center of her chest. “Can’t eat any more.” She looked like she was on the verge of tears again.

“Okay, that’s alright. Do you want to go sit on the couch and watch something until we’re all done eating?”

“Yes please,” she said, sliding to the floor and taking Genesis’s hand.

Cloud frowned thoughtfully at his plate as he listened to her settle down on the couch as Genesis turned the tv to some inane children’s cartoon. When the redhead returned, Cloud quirked an eyebrow at him. “Is she okay?” he asked, too low for her to overhear.

His expression sobered. He shook his head. “What she did to...survive the lab...it damaged her in a manner we simply have no way of understanding. She thinks it won’t be permanent, and I suspect she may be right, but for now the pain comes and goes. It would hurt her enormously to use magic as well, though she has yet to slip up in that regard.”

“Poor kid,” Cloud murmured.

That earned him a bit of an eye-roll from Genesis before the man continued. “Healing energy does seem to help her, however. If she’s in pain and we’re unavailable, can I count on you to cast a Cure on her?”

Cloud frowned at him and crossed his arms over his chest. “Listen, I know I fight you guys a lot, but do you really think I’d hurt a kid? Or ignore one in pain?” It made him very uncomfortable that they seemed to think he would.

The Firsts exchanged a glance between themselves. “Cloud, you are absolutely unpredictable to us,” Angeal said eventually. “But you’re right, and I’m sorry we insulted you like that.”

Cloud sighed and went back to his food. “It’s whatever.”

Ugh. He’d been a kid for too long if he was starting to use phrases like that.

⁠—

They watched a movie after dinner, some mindless family film with a plot that was about as substantial as cotton candy. Cloud didn’t much care, but when Angeal said it would make Lora happy he sighed and relented. He absolutely refused to share the couch, though, claiming one of the armchairs before anyone else could ‘accidentally’ maneuver him into arms reach.

To be honest, he spent most of the movie’s run time watching Lora anyway. She was just so...weird. For one thing, she did everything in her power to make sure she was being held at all times. If one of the adults had to move, or got tired, she shamelessly transferred herself to someone else’s lap.

Sephiroth ended up with her for most of the night, looking about as content as Cloud had ever seen him as he let her snuggle close to his chest. They only had to pause the movie once as she whined and curled around her chest. All three of the Firsts had mastered Cures on them, and it wasn’t difficult to see why they needed them.

“Are most kids like that?” he ended up asking Angeal once the movie had ended. Lora was fast asleep, knuckles curled into her mouth, as Sephiroth got up off the couch and carried her to bed.

“Like what?” the dark-haired man asked, cocking a brow.

“...touchy?” Because he couldn’t remember Marlene ever being quite so demanding, and Denzel certainly wasn’t.

In the kitchen, Genesis stifled a laugh. Angeal looked amused as well. “Ah, no,” he said. “I wondered too, but after asking around a bit it turns out you and Lora are just on polar opposite ends of the spectrum.” He grinned a little. “You…avoid touch and distrust everyone; she demands touch and trusts implicitly.”

Cloud frowned. He could get away with being extreme because he wasn’t actually what he appeared, but the way Angeal described the kid’s tendencies sounded downright dangerous. “That’s not safe.”

Angeal sobered abruptly. “She’s starting to learn that too.”

Cloud winced. Yeah. Hojo would have that effect, wouldn’t he. Poor kiddo.

⁠— 

Today was the first day since Cloud had gotten back that all three of the Firsts would be busy, which meant that he and their cross-dimensional princess house guest would be dropped off to be babysat (ugh) by the entire Turk department.

Yes, the entire department. That one was his own fault.

He wasn’t all that upset, actually. He had some snooping to do for his next task, and Veld was a very strange and accommodating person to Cloud’s...eccentric behavior. He swore the man was using him as a training program, but had yet to find definitive proof.

Lora, on the other hand…

Cloud walked straight into Tseng’s office and flopped down on the couch, pulling out his handheld gaming system. Sephiroth had to be well out of range before he could begin his kind-of-sort-of extended espionage battle with the Turks. Lora lingered half-behind the silver-haired man, clutching his hand with both of hers as she looked around nervously.

“Come on,” Sephiroth coaxed, looking down at her. “Don’t you want to go play with Cloud?”

“No,” she mumbled, pressing against his leg. She eyed Tseng, who was watching the proceedings with an expression of (to Cloud’s eyes) carefully curated warmth.

“Yes,” he countered. “Besides, you like Tseng. You’re going to have plenty of fun with him and the other Turks, and I promise they’ll keep you safe.”

She looked up at him and adopted puppy eyes that would have put Zack’s to shame, huge and pleading. “Can’t I just come with you? Please?”

Sephiroth visibly wavered, and Cloud had to press his lips together hard to keep from laughing outright. What was it about big, tough soldier-types being the weakest to little girls’ puppy eyes? He’d been an absolute sucker for Marlene’s before Barret had finally let him in on the secret to resisting (physically looking away, apparently).

But Sephiroth, to his credit, gathered his resolve and told her, “no, you can’t come with me on mission. It’s not safe.”

Her pleading stare turned to a pout. “But I have a lot of magic! I could help!”

“I’m sure you could,” he said, which was probably actually true though Cloud had yet to see a firsthand demonstration, “but your parents and grandfather would be very upset if they found out, wouldn’t they?”

She narrowed her eyes a little. “Papa’s taken me on campaign before.”

He arched his eyebrows. “On the front lines?”

Lora’s scowl was answer enough. Sephiroth released her hand and plucked her up off the floor, carrying her over to the couch. Very, very reluctantly, she released her grip from around his neck and let him put her down beside Cloud.

“You’ll be fine,” he promised, patting her head briefly. “Tell Tseng or Veld when your chest starts hurting, alright?”

She nodded sullenly, curling up into a ball on the couch, and he left. She huffed sulkily when he was out of sight. Eventually, she leaned over to watch Cloud play his game and he obligingly tilted the screen so she could see easier. He kept half an eye on her and half an eye on the clock.

Maybe thirty minutes after Sephiroth left, around the time Cloud was certain he had also left the Tower, Lora crossed her arms over her chest and hunched her shoulders up around her ears. He was familiar with that tell by now⁠—her chest was starting to hurt. But instead of asking Tseng for a Cure, she shot him a single nervous look and didn’t say anything.

Aw, kid, he thought.

Lucky Tseng wasn’t an idiot. “Lora,” he called with a deliberate gentleness.

She looked up, lips pressed into a wary line. “...yeah?”

“Does your chest hurt?”

“...no.” She curled up into a ball, mumbling the denial into her knees. “Doesn’t hurt.”

It was a bald-faced lie. Tseng looked, for a second, genuinely sad, then his expression shifted as he considered how to respond. Cloud paused his game, curious how this would play out. Would he call her on the lie? Trick her into being honest?

“Alright,” he said eventually, “tell me when it does.”

“‘Kay.”

Cloud scowled at him. Lora would have to say something eventually, once the pain grew too much, but that also meant letting her hurt until she caved. He would have accepted that tactic against himself, but Lora was little. She didn’t deserve that.

When Tseng quirked a brow at his glare, Cloud rolled his eyes and heaved an inaudible sigh. Why was it he had to do everything around here?

He switched the game off and set it aside, pulling his legs up so that his position mirrored Lora’s, then lowered his voice to a level that Tseng would still be able to hear, but Lora would think was too quiet. “Hey,” he said. “I know your chest hurts.”

“Doesn’t,” she said, raising her face just enough so that her eyes peeked over her knees.

“What are you scared of?” he asked. “Sephiroth said you could trust Tseng, right? And you trust Sephiroth. They wouldn’t hurt you. It’s safe to tell them.”

She narrowed her golden eyes a touch, spine straightening, and Cloud suddenly remembered youth and naivete were not the same as stupidity. “You don’t trust them,” she accused. “You don’t trust anyone.”

He bit back a groan. “I...don’t,” he agreed. “But you should.”

Lora looked outright irritated now, one hand rubbing absent-minded circles over her sternum. “Why? Why, if they wouldn’t hurt us?”

“You and I are...different,” he said slowly. Gaia, he very much regretted getting into this conversation, but it was too late now. "They wouldn't hurt me, but they don't understand what I am, and that means that even if they mean well...I can’t trust them to do what’s best for me.”

The look she gave him was highly skeptical, so he sighed and added, “I would definitely trust them to cast a Cure on me, okay? So you should too. Everyone is sad when you’re hurting.”

“What if I’d rather hurt?” she snapped. “This hurts less than⁠—” she cut off, blinking rapidly against sudden tears, and yeah, he knew that feeling. Poor kiddo. At least he’d been almost an adult when Hojo had gotten him into the lab.

“No one wants to hurt, Princess,” he said, patting her knee. “C’mon, it’s not that big a deal. I’d be right here the whole time.”

“You want to hurt,” she said, but it looked like he was finally starting to wear her down. “You hurt all the time and you never tell anyone.”

Cloud blinked at her in surprise. “What?”

Lora looked uncommonly serious in that moment. “You hurt all the time. I can tell. I can’t look at the Strings without hurting⁠—” she was still rubbing at her chest “—but my pa...passive? My passive sight still works and you’re like…” She brushed her fingers against just over his heart. “...jagged. Jagged black and purple thread, fraying all over.” Her voice dropped to barely a breath of sound. “It hurts to look at.”

Cloud jerked away, startled and alarmed, and brought his hands close to his chest. “I⁠—”

She sniffled, the pain finally getting to her. “If you get to hurt, I get to hurt,” she insisted stubbornly. He suspected it had more to do with sticking to her guns by this point than any actual desire to endure pain.

“I...Lora, you don’t...have to hurt. They can help you. That’s...that’s why you should ask.”

“But you do?” she fired back, swiping at her eyes. “You have to hurt? They can help you too!”

“No,” he whispered, briefly shutting his eyes against her innocent, righteous indignation. How had the argument shifted around on him, especially given that he was a twenty-three-year-old gown-ass man and she was seven? “No, Lora. They can’t help me.” He took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. Too much dangerous information to be discussing while in Tseng’s office. He was stupid to have let it get this far. “Would you let me cast a Cure on you?”

She looked at Tseng, who was going his level best to fade into the paperwork and pretend he wasn’t even there. Then she looked back and narrowed her eyes at him. He recognized that look as the ‘I’m going to dig in my heels until you give in’ look that Marlene was so fond of. “No,” she said. “Not unless you stop hurting too.”

This time he did groan aloud. “I⁠—Princess, that’s not…” She folded her arms across her chest, knees shifting to sit criss-cross on the couch cushions. He tossed his hands up. “Fine, I’ll let Tseng cast a Cure on me too, okay? Would that make you happy?”

She offered him a watery, triumphant smile and immediately flopped over to curl up in a ball. “Yeah.”

He got up, jaw clenched, and stalked over to Tseng’s desk. The man looked up, expression betraying nothing. “What is it, Cloud?” he asked, as if he hadn’t heard every single word.

“Lora will let me cast on her if you cast on me first,” he ground out, irritated. “Not that it’ll do anything since I am fine.”

“Of course,” Tseng agreed, that lying motherfucker. He pulled a Cure out of his desk, then checked to make sure Lora was watching before casting...a full Curaga. Overkill. Cloud snatched the materia up and went back to the couch, irritation cooling as he saw the way the kid was shaking and trying in vain to blink back tears.

“Here,” he said, laying a hand on her head of wild red curls and casting a Curaga of his own. “Better?”

She rolled onto her back and smiled at him. “Yes. Thank you.” Then she frowned. “But...you’re still…?”

“I told you, kiddo,” he said with a shake of his head. “They can’t help me like they can help you.”

⁠—

Cloud got up shortly after that exchange and said “I’m going to the bathroom,” which everyone except Lora knew by now was the opening salvo of their espionage battle. He handed his gaming system to the Princess so that she’d be entertained and left, several Turks following after him.

Here we go, he thought, a little smirk curving his lips up.

Except, less than thirty minutes later, when he was squirming through the vents, he heard Reno yelling, which was...not usually part of their game. Puzzled, he stopped and listened.

“Hey! Cloud! Listen, I know you’re having fun, but little Princess is freaking out and you need to get to Tseng’s office ASAP! She’s⁠—listen, she thinks we did something to you and we’re all worried she might try to use her magic and hurt herself. Please.”

Cloud groaned and let his head thunk down onto the metal beneath him. He should have anticipated this. With a sigh, he squirmed around and quickly reversed course, popping out of a vent near but not right in front of where Reno had been shouting.

“Alright, I’m going” he called, loud enough for the redhead to hear, and ran for Tseng’s office.

He burst in to find Lora perched on the back of the couch, staring down Tseng, who was sitting on the floor trying to placate her. She gasped when she caught sight of him and promptly lost her balance, falling onto the cushions with an oof!

“You’re okay!” she said, scrambling up and launching herself at him.

“I’m fine,” he said, staggering a little as she cannonballed into his torso. “What, were you worried about me?”

“Yes!” she said, upset. “Where were you? I thought they’d...that they’d…”

Cloud sighed, unable to hold on to his irritation in the face of a little girl on the verge of tears. Damn his daddy instincts. He picked her up and carried her back to the couch, well aware of how ridiculous that must have looked. He had to deal with this now, for her sake and everyone else’s. Hopefully the conversation wouldn't veer into dangerously exposed territory this time.

“You were scared I’d been taken away, right? Lora, I’m...very hard to take. By anyone. I got away from Seph and Ange and Gen the first time you met me, remember?”

She looked uncertain, keeping hold of one of his wrists. “I...know,” she said. “Where were you?”

“I was⁠—” inspiration struck. He knew exactly how to fix this, or at least begin to fix it. “Well, I was breaking the rules.”

Lora’s eyes widened. For a second, he saw exactly what he was hoping for: curiosity and longing. A split second later it was eaten away by anxiety, but now that he knew it was there, he could draw it out again. “You shouldn’t break the rules,” she said. “What if they’d taken you?”

“I’m hard to take,” he repeated patiently. “And you know what? If you broke the rules, Lora, it would be okay, because you’re hard to take too.”

She blinked at him, uncomprehending. “But...no, he...it was easy to take me,” she whispered, trying to blink back tears.

“Only because you didn’t know you couldn’t trust him,” Cloud said. “Look, you trust Gen and Seph and Ange, right?” She nodded. “Okay, why?”

“Because...they got me out,” she said slowly, tense and miserable as she re-lived that memory.

“They saved you, which is proof that they don’t want you hurt and proof that you can trust them,” he summarized. She nodded again. “But they told you that you can trust Tseng, right? Why don’t you trust him too?”

Lora stared at him helplessly. He knew this was a lot to ask of a seven-year-old (a real one) but she was smart. She would get it if he helped her along a little bit.

“Is it because you don’t have any proof that they’re like our Firsts?”

“Yeah,” she whispered, throwing a glance at Tseng, who was holding absolutely still and carefully not looking at them.

“Do you want to trust them? Because Seph said so?” He suspected she did, at least. He suspected she wanted to go back to trusting everyone, but didn’t know how.

“...yeah.”

“Okay. You want to trust them, but you don’t have any proof, so you feel scared because they might try to take you. Lora, what if I told you that they couldn’t take you even if they tried?”

She blinked at him, head tilting in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“If you had known that the Frog-Faced Bastard⁠—” she cracked a little smile at that “—was going to take you, would you have gone with him?”

She recoiled. “No!”

“What would you have done?”

“I would have⁠— I would have frozen him solid and ran away!”

“That’s right. You would have defended yourself. So if Tseng tried to take you, would you defend yourself?”

The light of realization dawned in her eyes. “It...it would hurt,” she said, rubbing her chest with her free hand.

“But you would do it?” he prodded. “And you have a lot of magic, Princess. Magic that they don’t understand. Even if it hurt you could get away, couldn’t you? And then Seph and Gen and Ange would come kick Tseng’s butt, right?”

He smiled as he watched the anxiety drain out of her eyes, a kind of relieved joy taking its place. “Yeah,” she said, smiling back at him. “Yeah!”

“So you don’t have to trust the Turks yet,” he said. “You can just act like you do until they prove that you can trust them, because even if they tried to hurt you they couldn’t.”

⁠—

Angeal was the first back and thus the one to pick up Cloud and Lora from the Turks. He was directed to Veld’s office, which was something of a surprise, and was told that Cloud was currently out ‘playing’ with some of the others, which was not a surprise. Tseng had been keeping them all more or less abreast of the kids’ activities, including two very interesting and concerning conversations.

Despite hearing about the progress Cloud had made in teaching Lora about trust and self-defense, Angeal still found his eyebrows arching when he entered Veld’s office and found the little princess dozing in the Turk’s lap. That wasn’t just progress⁠—that was nearly a full recovery back to the fearless child they first met.

“Hewley,” Veld said without looking up from his work. He was writing with one hand, the other arm wrapped around Lora.

“Veld,” he said back, smiling. “I hope she wasn’t too much trouble?”

The Turk didn’t smile, but something in the corners of his eyes gave him away. He was pleased. Very pleased. “Oh, I’m afraid she was,” he said. “Very troublesome. She and Cloud raised quite a ruckus before he tricked her into coming here and pinning me down.”

Angeal laughed. “Did he? That does sound like Cloud.” He grinned, knowing that they⁠ (and the whole of the Turks, probably⁠) were both pleased by the knowledge that Lora had been a handful. Cloud was just...Cloud, and he would always do what he wanted.

He rounded the desk and Veld passed Lora off to him. Unsurprisingly, she didn’t wake⁠—the girl slept like a rock, even after the lab when her hours asleep far surpassed her hours awake. “How many times did she need a Cure.”

“Twice,” said Veld, looking at his PHS. “Cloud cast one this morning, I cast the other near lunch.” Which meant she would probably wake up hurting again before dinner. Angeal nodded, shifting her on his hip. “Cloud’s back with Tseng,” Veld added before he could ask, checking his PHS.

“Of course. Well, thank you.”

“My pleasure. Really.”

[aliferous-ly]

I've never really asked for a drabble before... If it's okay with you, could you do 7 "I almost lost you" and 32 "I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified" with Logan and Deceit? I just kinda thought that it had the potential to make some angst with a happy ending. Oh and I only found you recently, but I love the writing that I've seen so far. I always love finding amazing writers. (I'm sorry, I'm a total suck up)

im gonna start this with if you’re on mobile, i am So Sorry

i started this and was like “ha im getting a little carried away” and then went “oh no” 

and thank u dear!! that’s v sweet of u awe 

summary: Declan is a loud and proud aromantic. Then he realizes why he feels weird, and off, and awkward around his best friend, Logan, and his world starts to crumble. 

warnings: f word twice, lying, parent being imprisoned, angst, questioning identity, if there’s anything else lmk!!

It starts, Declan thinks, when Logan smiles. 

The situation starts out innocuous -- they’re sitting in Logan’s room, Declan tossing a tennis ball up and catching it unsuccessfully, making a right disaster of Logan’s room with all the objects he keeps knocking to the floor. Logan, naturally, continues doing his homework. 

And they’re just -- talking. 

Declan likes to think his world should shift on a more momentous occasion, maybe with fireworks, fingers brushing against one another dramatically, Jason Mraz playing in the background. 

But it’s the smallest thing. Declan throws the tennis ball up in the middle of his sentence -- “You can’t tell me you hate white pines, they have the softest needles” -- and he misses it on the way down. 

So he takes a tennis ball to the face and sits up, sputtering, rubbing at his nose, arm reaching out to snatch it before it rolls too far. 

Logan chokes out a laugh, eyes squinty and wrinkled at the edges. His laugh fills the room for a few thrilling moments and Declan thinks it’s the most beautiful sound in the world and he can’t stop staring at Logan’s engaging face, in the upturn of his lips and dimples carved in his cheeks. 

He’s radiant. 

Declan’s heart squeezes, lungs filling with something heavier than air, a foreign feeling washing through his veins. Like rose petals or sunlight. Woodsmoke or freshly fallen snow. 

The gears in his chest shift and settle and he feels… right. More right than he’s ever been. 

Which is, of course, why fear swiftly follows this gorgeous wash of emotions, because this is unusual and anything unusual is often bad. 

Declan forces down the incoming wave of anxiety, schooling his expression into one of smooth disdain. 

Just in time, too, because Logan opens his mouth and says, “It was only a matter of time until you paid for your crimes.”

“I’m too pretty to die,” Declan replies, thanking the heavens that while his brain may be steadily turning into mush (have Logan’s eyes always been that striking? Or his shoulders that broad?) his tongue still works. 

“Implying Death themself has a type, intriguing,” Logan says. He flashes a look over his computer, the after effects of joy still written on his features. “Bold of you to declare what Death likes.” 

Declan tries for a smirk but can feel the way his mouth turns to genuine grin, the traitor. “Aw, Logie, are you saying I’m not everyone’s type?” 

“That would be rather ironic, wouldn’t it?” Logan says wryly. He types away at his computer, dutiously finishing an English assignment that Declan is currently ignoring for bigger and better things. “The aromantic everyone pines over.” 

That strikes an odd chord in Declan’s chest, like he’s a half-tone off; not quite wrong, but not quite right, either. His expression must change, because Logan pauses in his typing. He blinks at Declan. “Something wrong?” 

Of course, that’s when Declan’s brain decides that those words are simply too much, too much, his shoulders tightening, back tensing. It’s like his rib cage is squeezing his vital organs, which seems rather counterintuitive. He hates this unknown, this awkward buzz against his skin, the prickling feeling through his bones. 

The resounding crash of everything happening all at once is overwhelming and Declan can’t seem to decide whether to sit as still as humanly possible or bolt. 

Or, of course, do what he does best. 

Lie. 

“I forgot to do something for my mom,” Declan says, barely registering the words before they fall from his lips. He hasn’t lied to Logan in a very, very long time (he knows it’s because they have been best friends for ages, but his mind twists it into something of a foreshadow, even though it’s not, it’s not) and the resurgence of his bad habits leaves a nasty taste in his mouth, but. Desperate times. Desperate measures. 

“Oh,” Logan says, disappointed, and Declan longs to explain -- what? 

He angrily shoves the emotions deep into his chest. If he can’t explain them, he’s not going to give them the right of control over his actions. 

(He ignores the prevalent fact that he has just lied to his best friend in order to escape his presence, but denial, evidently, is not just a river in Egypt). 

“Sorry,” Declan spits out, meaning so much more than it seems. He stands, grabs his backpack, shoving papers and folders into it haphazardly. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“See you tomorrow,” Logan calls out hollowly. Declan takes that as his leave and he slips out Logan’s bedroom door, backpack in tow, keys clicking in his pocket. 

Something deep inside him aches. But he doesn’t know why. 

Frustrated, Declan gets into his car and slams the door shut, fingers white-knuckled against the steering wheel. He takes a breath. He’s fine, he’s fine. He’s probably just sick, or something. 

Or something. 

Not for the first time, Declan longs for a working aux connection. 

Because flicking through radio stations does not help. 

Lewis Capaldi croons Someone you loved on one, Sam Smith singing Dancing with a Stranger. He woefully flips through two channels on commercial break, groaning when the last one has Adele, which, really?

He remembers Virgil’s favorite station, and turns up the volume to forty, My Chemical Romance’s Mama screaming from his speakers. He pulls into his driveway with Hallelujah by Panic! at the Disco blowing his ears out when he remembers that Logan once spent hours rambling about Brenden Urie and a conspiracy about curses and he slams his palms on his steering wheel, furious. 

Can he not escape Logan for a moment? 

As Declan slams the car door shut, throwing his backpack over his shoulders, and freezes at the sight of the stupid Beware, dog sign that Logan had vandelized to read Beware, snake, he realizes that no, he really can’t. Because Logan is his best friend, his favorite person, and his life is irreversibly intertwined with Logan unless he up and leaves with absolutely nothing, starting from scratch. Which would be worse than death. 

He trudges up the stairs like a funeral dirge and when his door shuts with a click he leans against it, steadily sliding down until his knees almost touch his chin. 

“Fuck,” Declan says out loud, unable to keep the emotion termoil inside like it should be. 

His phone buzzes where it fell from his hands, angry against the carpet. Declan sighs. Rubs a hand down his face. And picks up the phone. 

There’s one text from Logan that reads, “are you okay? I’m not irritated but you left rather…” 

Well. The beginning reads as such. Declan assumes there’s more, but he’s unwilling to open it for the time being. 

Then he has three from Virgil, two of which reference an obscure meme video and the third which reads “r u home i wanna play dark souls on ur ps4”. 

And there’s a text from Patton asking if he wants normal chocolate chips or mint ones, and a followup that proclaims “never mind i got both! :3c”. 

He sends a quick “no” back to Virgil and merely opens the texts from Patton, leaving only Logan’s unopened. I’m not irritated but you left rather… suddenly? 

A strange emotion flutters about Declan’s chest and he groans. He doesn’t feel this way about his other friends, not even Virgil, who he’s known for ages and has gone through four too many devastating arguments to not be close with. Nor does he feel like this with Patton, his brother. Those bonds are, he’s certain, platonic--

Declan lurches forwards with a gasp, the realization bowling him over and leaving him breathless. He curls his fingers into the carpet, focusing on the texture instead of the immediate swirl of panic. 

He -- does he have a crush on Logan? Him, Declan, the aromantic king, who once boasted the world could never produce a human Declan could fall in love with?

And it doesn’t track with him falling for Logan either because Declan would have loved him months earlier, suddenly falling in love with someone he’s loved platonically… it just doesn’t make sense. Declan can’t wrap his mind around it. 

Maybe he’s just reading the emotions wrong. How can he -- what can he do that -- which -- 

What would Logan do? 

An experiment, Declan’s mind supplies helpfully, so, well. Declan pressed his back against the wood of his door and thinks. 

Hypothesis: he’s in love with Logan. 

In love? A very rational part of his brain yells. You were talking about a crush before!

So Declan thinks, and revises. Hypothesis: he’s feeling romantic attraction to Logan. 

Then he takes a few minutes trying to remember the following step in the scientific method and ends up looking it up on his phone, and it’s really long so he’s just going to cut some corners. 

Procedure: 

Well, Declan can’t think of any way to do this physically without making an entire fool of himself, so he changes the experiment into a thought experiment. 

Procedure: Consider emotions of other relationships and compare to feelings for Logan. 

Okay. Declan settles. He considers. He tries to imagine holding hands with Virgil and giving him flowers, but he can’t really picture giving Logan flowers either, so if it’s weird for both -- but he wants to hold Logan’s hand, not Virgil’s, and sometimes Patton’s, and Patton is his brother, he knows for sure his emotions are strictly platonic. So if Patton is the control group, the certainty of platonic emotions, Virgil is the one with normal emotions, and Logan has some weird emotions, so if Virgil and Logan’s are merely two different shades of friendship then Declan will know. 

Declan closes his eyes and imagines kissing Logan, because that’s what romantic partners do, right? He imagines stepping closer to him until there’s inches of space between them.. Declan thinks about leaning in, brushing lips before pressing in, heat curling in his chest and oh god, oh god Declan’s face is on fire. 

His eyes shoot open and he can only imagine how panicked he must look right now. He presses his hand against his chest, taking deep breaths. Then, reluctantly, he thinks about kissing Virgil -- nope, nope, eugh he physically shakes his head, gut rolling uncomfortably. 

So that is a big contender for Declan has romantic feelings for Logan. 

He sighs and clunks his head against the door. This sucks. Declan hates feelings. 

The door downstairs sounds, opening and closing, followed by a resounding, “HEY, CICI, LOVE YOU!” 

Dee sighs, a smile flickering across his face. He pushes to his feet and exits his room, wandering downstairs, aloof. 

“Hey Pat,” he says, leaning against a wall. 

“Ci, I’m making lots of cookies!” Patton declares, beaming at him, and Declan’s heart drops. 

His expression must, too, because Patton’s features are suddenly painted in concern. “What’s wrong?” 

“I should be asking you that,” Declan says, and he feels bad, unexpectedly, for not replying to Patton’s text earlier. “Lots of cookies? With mint and chocolate chips? Enough to feed an army?” 

Patton’s arms wilt and Declan reads the tremor in his shoulders, the glisten of his eyes. Patton tries for a smile and misses by a mile. 

Declan crosses to where Patton stands in five steps, wrapping his arms around his smaller brother, pressing his cheek against Patton’s head. “What’s wrong?” 

Patton takes a shuddering breath, returning the hug. “Nothing, really. I’m glad you’re home.” 

“Ah,” Declan says. He tightens his grip on Patton. “Do you want help?” 

“No.” Patton presses his face into Declan’s chest. He’s shaking, ever so slightly. “Can you talk with me at the counter, though?” 

“Of course,” Declan agrees, mentally side-tabling his emotional turmoil. 

“Okay,” Patton says. He’s quiet for a few more moments, then says, “And Steven Universe later?” 

“Anything,” Declan says. He makes a face. The word had slipped out unbidden, but Patton doesn’t tease him for it. 

“Alright.” Patton pulls away, takes a breath. “I’m about to make the best damn cookies the world has ever seen.” 

“Damn straight,” Declan says, grinning. Patton pauses for just one moment more before moving to the kitchen, dropping various ingredients onto the counter and moving smoothly to gather more. 

Declan wonders at his influence on Patton’s vulgar mouth, then shrugs. Patton’s a teenager. He can do what he wants. 

“Weren’t you hanging out with Logan?” Patton asks conversationally. He’s pulling down bowls and sugar, obviously expecting easy small talk. And normally Logan is easy for Declan to talk about. He talks about him all the time.  

So when Declan winces, Patton turns and addresses him with full attention, brows furrowed. “What? What happened?” 

“I…” Declan considers for a moment to just lie about it but dismisses the thought. This is Patton. “I think I have a romantic attraction for him.” 

Saying it out loud only cements the certainty in Declan’s chest. No, he hasn’t quite completed the experiment, but he just… knows. 

The knowledge is both relieves and spikes his anxiety about the whole situation. 

“Oh,” Patton says, eyes wide. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

“Not really,” Declan says honestly. 

“Alright,” Patton says. He turns back around and a wave of affection flows through Declan. “How did Roman do on his audition?” 

Declan hums, eternally grateful for Patton’s ability to turn the conversation away. They talk about Roman’s skill as an actor for a few minutes, jumping to Patton’s involvement in VEX robotics (focusing on the robotics instead of the people) and they kill about forty minutes with Patton talking about his baby bot, Pat Jr. 

When the clock strikes seven, Declan throws together two grilled cheese sandwiches and they eat in front of Steven Universe and the gems, Declan stretched out along the couch and Patton creating a throne of blankets for himself. 

“I know you don’t want to talk about it,” Patton murmurs, eyes never straying from the bursts of pastel on the screen, “but if you do have a romantic attraction to Logan it’s okay. You weren’t wrong in saying you’re aromantic. Because that fits you, you like it. There’s just more strings attached than you originally thought.” 

Declan blinks, the smallest smile growing on his face. “Thanks, Pat.” 

Patton hugs a pillow, eyes bright. “Love you, Ci.” 

Declan pushes his foot against Patton’s blanket pile in response. 

--

“Do you think we have to move?” Patton says, three hours into their movie night. 

Declan breathes, slowly inhaling as if it gives him an excuse to not reply. “I didn’t. I don’t want to. But probably.” 

“That’s why you haven’t told anyone,” Patton says. He shifts, turning to look at Declan. Declan maintains eye contact with the screen, despite having seen this movie countless times. “And why you told me to keep it under wraps.” 

“Yes,” Declan says, because really, he lies to the world, but he doesn’t lie to Patton. 

He tries not to lie to Patton. 

“But something changed yesterday.” Patton’s not asking questions. Somehow, he just knows, despite being left out of the loop. “And you were going to tell Logan today.” 

“Yes,” Declan says. Static thrums through his veins. Aladdin ignores a buzzing genie on screen, swatting him away to benefit his own desires. 

“What happened?” 

“Mom’s not getting out,” Declan says simply, because that’s it, really. Their mother is not getting out of jail. And with no father, their final hope is their uncle, three states over. Their father’s brother. 

Two months away from eighteen, and Declan is forced to concede. 

“When?” Patton asks. He’s trembling, but he’s not crying. Declan knows that will come later. 

“Because of the legal mixups and leaning on Sasha, two weeks, probably,” Declan says. Sasha is, of course, their next door neighbor, the crazy cat lady of the street who “watches” the boys “all the time”. 

“Two weeks,” Patton whispers. There’s a sheen in his eyes. Declan tries not to look but his gaze is like a magnet and Patton stares, stares, stares. “That’s not enough time. That’s not…”

Declan closes his eyes. 

He really thought he would win. 

He thought he could win. 

They only had to last two more months. His deadbeat mom had to last two months and they couldn’t even keep the legal proceedings--

He takes a breath. “Uncle Thomas is nice, at least.” 

“I don’t want uncle Thomas,” Patton snaps. 

“Well we don’t have a choice, Pat,” Declan bites out, stomach rolling at the words, eyes snapping open. 

Patton recoils, hurt flickering behind his eyes, but Declan knows it’s not enough to overpower the fire roaring in Patton’s lungs. “We did, we could have put more savings into mom’s defense, we could have found a place to live before it was our last resort but now we have to tell all our friends that we’re moving hundreds of miles away in two weeks!” 

“Mom doesn’t deserve to get out,” Declan spits. 

“I don’t CARE.” Patton’s fingers are clenched in fists. He stands. “I don’t care if mom deserves it or not. We deserve to stay.” 

“The world doesn’t work like that,” Declan says. 

Patton opens his mouth and snaps it shut, obviously restraining himself. A thousand emotions swim behind his eyes. Declan hates every single moment but he doesn’t say a word. 

He leaves. 

He leaves Declan sitting alone on the couch, watching Patton’s favorite movie. A door slams shut and Declan exhales heavily. They don’t get into fights, it’s just not -- Patton’s normally too upbeat to bother, Patton hates being angry, Declan normally doesn’t -- there’s nothing to get angry about, not in the grand scheme of things. They share easily, they have chaotic conversations, they… 

They’re fighting. 

Declan buries his head in his hands. He was too hopeful, too caught up on the possibility of the future to notice the sinkhole of reality. 

He really thought -- things would work out, Patton has his lucky charm of a personality and Declan works, he works hard, so things should -- Declan’s a senior in high school, halfway through the first semester, he should be worried about grades and school dances and friends and crushes and --

Logan. 

Declan curls, releasing something like a sob or maybe a dry heave. Whether or not he’s in love with Logan (most signs point to yes but there’s no way Declan’s addressing that) he still loves Logan, he loves being with him and talking to him and ordering his ice cream before Logan gets there to see the surprised and fond expression cross his face. 

Two weeks? 

To say goodbye to his best friend? 

Before moving, before picking up his entire life and his family (just -- Patton. Just Patton) and going somewhere Else?

Declan doesn’t feel like an adult. 

He doesn’t want to be an adult, either. 

Even if the world is asking him to be one. 

--

“You’re acting strange,” Logan observes. 

Declan shrugs. “I’m always strange.” He takes advantage of shoving fries in his face to avoid expounding. 

Logan sighs and puts down his burger. “Declan. Something’s going on.” 

Several somethings are going on, actually, but thanks. Declan shrugs again. “Haven’t been getting much sleep.” Which is a true statement. He’s written about ten different ways to tell Logan he’s leaving, nine of which are ripped up in the trash, one of which Declan just burned because he doesn’t want even scraps of that disaster to exist. 

Five days to go and Declan still hasn’t told him. Five days.  They don’t have many classes together, otherwise Logan would have pieced together the weird treatment from the teachers. Declan wonders if just disappearing into the void is an alright way to go, but a little Patton in his head chastises him for even considering it. 

Then again, at this rate…

“Hm,” Logan says. He has a thoughtful look on his face that’s absolutely devastating to Declan’s heart and general health and coherence of thought, let alone considering what’s about to come out of his mouth. “Is there a reason?” 

Declan considers, eyes narrowing as he stares at nothing. “I neglect to answer that question.” 

“So yes,” Logan says. The words fall from his lips with crushing sorrow. He takes a breath. “Why aren’t you telling me?” 

“Telling you what?” Declan says, internally wincing at the hurt flickering through Logan’s eyes.  

“Okay,” Logan says instead. He turns back to his food. 

They eat the rest of the meal in silence. 

-- 

Declan watches absentmindedly as Logan attempts to make a tower out of pens and pencils. With the addition of Roman’s copious amounts of colored pens, the tower is quite impressive. 

Two days. 

(Two Days).

Declan’s all packed. Sorta. Not really. He’s going to skip some classes in the future and pack all at once, throwing everything into the boxes (the empty boxes lining his room), not caring if anything breaks. 

He… 

He hasn’t told Logan yet. 

Or anyone, really, but Logan’s the one that -- the one that matters the most. 

Logan did, however, ask him if he was okay three times before leaving him be, because Logan knows that Declan becomes testy if asked the same question consistently. 

So basically, as far as Declan can figure, Declan’s a tool. Logan is trying, and Declan is giving him jack shit to work with. 

Patton has told all his friends, which means it’s only a matter of time before Logan finds out, right? Patton’s a sophomore, they’re seniors, and the school is large, but it’s also not as big as it seems. 

Roman, sitting next to him, hums under his breath as he types. He’s editing his college essay, which Declan would be doing if he had a college essay to edit and also cared enough. The atmosphere is strikingly calm, which leads to an anxious buzzing under Declan’s skin. 

Tell him. Just tell him. Just open your mouth and tell him. You’re in a library, he can’t get loud and yell. 

Declan wonders if yelling would be better, actually, than wide eyed stares and wounded expressions. 

He’s contemplating the merits of writing a letter (absolutely not, he doesn’t know why he’s even considering it) when he spots Patton out of the corner of his eye. 

Patton in and of himself does not scare Declan. 

The fact that he’s bee-lining for Declan and his friends does make him a bit nervous, though. 

“Cici,” Patton hisses. The cutesy play on Declan’s middle name sounds odd in such a harsh tone of voice. He glances at Logan before staring at Declan. 

Declan’s starkly aware of Roman and Logan’s attention when he says, “yeah?” 

“You told them?” Patton says, and Declan--

Well. 

A combination of fear and fury and regret zip through his veins at warp speed.

But Declan’s well trained in the art of deception. 

He schools his expression into one of cool indifference. “That I’m taking you for ice cream? Nah. I didn’t think they’d care. You wanna go right now?” 

Roman huffs a laugh, turning his attention back to his computer. Logan doesn’t look away, though, hand resting on a bright yellow flair pen. 

Patton’s brow furrows. “I mean the--”

“Man, if you were that impatient you could’ve texted me,” Declan interrupts with a long, drawn-out sigh. He stands, swinging his backpack over his shoulders. “I’ll see you guys later.” 

“Get me some ice cream next time,” Roman says, grinning. His gaze doesn’t leave his screen. “Bye, loser.” 

“Bye,” Logan echoes. 

Something registers in Declan’s brain-dead skull that Logan sounds lifeless because his best friend has been distant (Declan. Declan is Logan’s best friend). 

Declan pauses, sighs. Patton looks outraged and about two seconds from outing Declan. 

“I’m sorry,” Declan says. Logan looks up at him. “It’s not your fault. Just… I’m going through some things. You deserve to know. I shouldn’t shadow you without any info.” 

Patton looks even angrier, if possible, but then Logan’s talking and Patton hates interrupting people. 

“Okay,” Logan says, soft as ever. “I’ll wait for you.” 

And if that doesn’t make Declan feel like the nastiest motherfucker. 

“Let’s go,” Declan says, pulling Patton along before Patton lets loose. 

He opens his mouth, but Declan beats him to it, whispering, “Shh, we’re in a library.” 

“I cannot fucking believe you,” Patton hisses instead. 

“Language.” 

“You haven’t told them?” Patton exclaims. He yanks his wrist from Declan’s grip but continues following him, arms gesturing wildly. “You’re the worst.” 

“Tell me something I don’t know,” Declan mutters. 

“You better get me ice cream now,” Patton says, crossing his arms. “After making me watch that.” 

“That’s fair,” Declan concedes, and then realizes he’s going to have to spent the next thirty minutes listening to Patton chastise him and -- 

Honestly, he deserves it, but he doesn’t want it, but before he can say anything, Patton says, “don’t even think about escaping this.” 

So he’s stuck listening to Patton chastise him for the next thirty minutes until their next class starts. 

But he gets a turtle sundae out of it, so it’s like, at least 20% a win. 

--

“CICI,” Patton screams from the living room. 

Declan shoots to his feet, tripping and slamming his knee into the doorframe, scrambling to reach Patton as swiftly as possible. He appears at the edge of the living room, hand pressed against the wall, chest heaving, eyes blown wide. “What? What is it?” 

He assesses Patton for damage, but Patton’s standing with his phone clutched between his fingers, shaking ever so slightly but appearing physically fine. He’s staring at Declan, lip trembling. 

“Patton?” Declan says. 

Patton opens his mouth, tears dripping down his cheeks. He sniffs, making an angry noise in the back of his throat as he wipes at his face. “I shouldn’t tell you! I should let you suffer because you’re mean.” 

“Patton,” Declan says, approaching his brother like one might a wild animal. 

Patton shakes his head and Declan stops. 

“I’m upset!” Patton says. Then he lets out a laugh, choked. “But I’m so relieved.”

Declan doesn’t say anything. 

Patton sniffles a few more times, then peeks at Declan through his fingers. Declan tries for a smile, sheepish. Patton smiles back, watery and soft. His shoulders shake as he laughs softly, his phone pressed against his cheek. “I was so scared.” 

“Me too,” Declan says. 

“I’m sorry,” Patton says, the anger draining from his face and leaving a wide-eyed pile of nerves. “I didn’t mean it. You’re not mean. You’re just scared.” 

“It’s okay,” Declan says. His arms hand limply by his sides. He wants to do something with them, to cross his arms or put them in his hoodie pockets or something, but he also wants to leave them available for when Patton wants a hug, so he stands awkwardly instead. “I forgive you.” 

“I’ve been calling Uncle Thomas,” Patton says. 

Declan’s heart does something funny in his chest. 

Patton pulls his hands away from his face, rubbing his cheeks clean, staring at his phone for a few moments before his hand drops, dangling at his side. “He’s -- he said he’s coming here. His job can be done online and the stuff he can’t do online he’ll fly back for which won’t be often, he said it’s important to him that we -- have a support system throughout highschool, and he wants us to finish here before doing anything else.” 

The information barely filters through Declan’s mind because when Patton exhales another sob Declan steps forward and envelops him in his arms on instinct. Patton’s legs go weak. Declan sinks to the ground, Patton pressing his face into Declan’s shoulder. 

“I’m sorry,” Patton mumbles. “I don’t know why I’m crying. This is good. This is good.” 

“Sometimes emotions have a funny way of showing,” Declan says. He runs his fingers through Patton’s hair, untangling the curls. “You’ve been stressed. It’s okay.” 

“Why aren’t you crying?” Patton says. He taps his palm against Declan’s chest, reminiscent of a smack without any of the power. “It’s not fair.”

Declan laughs, sort of. “I might later. I don’t know. Emotions are weird.” 

“You never told your friends you were moving,” Patton says. “Will they ever find out?” 

“Probably,” Declan says. He squeezes Patton. “I know you told your friends. It’s better your way. Even if it doesn’t feel like it.” 

“Mm.” 

Declan can feel the rise and fall of Patton’s chest. It slows as Patton calms down. “We don’t have to move,” Patton murmurs. 

“We don’t have to move,” Declan agrees, and Patton presses even closer. 

--

Declan doesn’t know how he finds his way to the beach but at one point he’s baking Patton cookies and the next he’s sitting on a slab of concrete overlooking the pitch dark waves. He knows Patton is sleeping, or is at least pretending to sleep. He vaguely remembers writing a note in case Patton looks for him. 

It’s been three days since Patton discovered Uncle Thomas’s moving plans. Discovered? Convinced? Declan isn’t sure. 

And he doesn’t really know how to react. He’s been moving on autopilot, making dinner, doing homework, putting in minimal effort into his friendships so they don’t abandon him on the side of the road -- 

No. Declan shakes his head. Putting minimal effort into his friendships because his friends don’t deserve to be cut off without a word. 

Nothing feels right. 

(Something is off). 

He hears footsteps and before he can whip around, before fear has the chance to truly take over his body, he hears, “this seat taken?” 

“No,” Declan says, and Logan sits next to him on the concrete. They’re quiet for a few moments, watching the reflection of the moon, tasting salt on their tongues. 

“Will you tell me what’s going on?” Logan says finally. 

Declan closes his eyes, breathes. His emotions are all tangled up in his chest and he doesn’t want to tap into it for fear that if he lets out a little he’ll let out everything. 

But Logan deserves to know. 

(He deserves someone better.)

“My mom lost,” Declan says, which sounds nicer than it did in his head. “She’s unfit to care for us, anyway, but now she’s officially calling prison her new home.” 

Logan’s quiet. Declan listens to his breathing. He spies Logan’s hand against the concrete and longs to close the distance and entangle their fingers, just for a modicum of physical comfort. The slightest hint of warmth permeates the air around Logan and Declan wants to lean closer, to press their arms together. 

“My Uncle, on my dad’s side, is taking care of us. He… wasn’t originally going to move here, but Patton talked to him and he decided moving here is the best course of action.” Declan shifts. He doesn’t know how to say it. He doesn’t know how to explain. 

Logan stops breathing. 

“I almost lost you,” he says, and it’s barely a whisper. 

Declan glances at him and can barely comprehend the amount of horror shining in Logan’s eyes. Logan’s staring at him, expression open and terrified. “I almost…” He exhales, shaking. Declan watches him so closely he can see the sticking of his chest as he breathes, the tremor of his shoulders. 

Declan’s heart stutters and he wants to tear his gaze away but he owes, he owes Logan this. Even though the only thing he wants to do is run away, to preserve himself. “I -- I never told you,” Declan says, more scared than he has been in a long time. He opens his mouth and stops, shrinking away. He looks over Logan’s shoulder, unable to maintain eye contact. “We were supposed to leave two days ago. I was going to tell you and then…” 

Then I found out that I’m in love with you, and it freaked me out so much I closed myself off. 

Logan’s truly shaking, and Declan doesn’t know what to do. You caused this. This is your fault. 

“Ugh! I’m sorry,” Declan exclaims. He can’t stand this, these tentative moments, fragile as glass. He wants to take a hammer to the whole affair. “I’m sorry. I know it’s not much but I was scared, and it’s not a valid excuse, but I was terrified, Logan, I couldn’t leave you! You mean too much to me!” 

“You mean a lot to me too,” Logan says, but Declan’s on a roll, now, there’s no stopping the hurricane in his heart. 

He moves his gaze to the waves, finding solace and energy in the constancy. “I was going to tell you when we were hanging out a few weeks ago in your room, and then I freaked out because -- and then I left, and haven’t been able to figure out how to word it since, and Patton’s better than I am, he told his friends almost immediately, imagine, having worse emotional competency than a fifteen year old--”

“Roman found out,” Logan says, grinding Declan’s tangent to a halt. “He mentioned something to me but I needed to hear it from you.” 

Declan stares at him. 

“I asked Patton if you were at home,” Logan explains. Declan can barely tell in the shadows, but Logan’s face seems to darken. “When he said no, I knew there was one other place you would go. Probably.” 

Declan worries his lip. He’s that predictable? 

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” Logan asks, quiet. 

“Because…” Liquid anxiety slogs through his veins. His voice drops, quiet, quieter than the sound of waves. “Because I think I’m in love with you, and I’m terrified.” 

For a second all he can hear is the crash of the sea and his heartbeat pounding in his ears. He doesn’t know why the moon isn’t falling from the sky, why the stars haven’t combusted, because his world feels like it’s falling apart at the seams. 

“I discovered that,” Declan continues, the words slipping between his lips before his mind has any say in the matter, “and didn’t know what to do, and then I needed to tell you I was leaving, and I love you, and I couldn’t. Because I’m a coward.” 

Another beat. Declan takes a long breath. “I still love you. And I’m no longer leaving.” 

“I suppose… now would be a bad time to bring up demiromanticism?” Logan tries. 

“It would be a terrible time, but thank you,” Declan says, and he can’t help the small puff of laughter that escapes. 

“I love you too,” Logan says, then, and Declan can’t breathe. 

He turns to Logan without thinking, searching his sapphire blue eyes for deception even though Logan has never, ever lied to him. He can’t hope, he can’t dare to hope, the world would never give him two miracles. “Don’t trick me.” 

“I’m in love with you,” Logan clarifies, nervous. His hands are wringing together and he’s biting his lip. 

Declan reaches out, fingers trembling, to brush against Logan’s cheek. “You…”

“I’ve been in love with you,” Logan says. He’s looking down, away from Declan’s gaze, but he leans into his touch. “For awhile. I never wanted to bring it up because… you were so adamant about being separate from romance…”

“I thought I was,” Declan says honestly. “Which is why this is a real fucking trip, let me tell you.” 

Logan laughs, and some of the tension in the air dissolves. “I can imagine.” 

“God, I love you,” Declan says. He brushes his thumb underneath Logan’s eye. 

“I love you too,” Logan says, eyes wide and sparkling, then he moves forward and cradles Declan’s head in his hands and Declan short circuits because he’s right there he’s RIGHT THERE and he’s touching him he loves him he loves him--

“You’re gorgeous,” Logan says, and Declan just stares at him dumbly because his mouth stops working. His heart is barely going, the only reason he’s not dead is because his body has some sort of instinctive survival instinct, or something. 

Emotion clog his throat and Declan doesn’t know how he’s not sobbing already so he’s unsurprised when the smallest tear slips out of his eye. 

“Oh,” Logan says, wiping the tear away. “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s -- it’s not -- it’s not you,” Declan chokes out. “God. This is so embarrassing.” 

“I don’t care,” Logan says. He leans closer, pressing their foreheads together and staring into Declan’s eyes. “It’s okay to cry.” 

Declan smiles thinly, blinking away tears. “I don’t deserve you.” 

Logan stares at him, brows furrowing. “What?”

“You’re so beautiful,” Declan says. His trembling hands hold Logan’s jaw. “And you’re so smart and passionate, and you have the most wicked sense of humor, and you’re my best friend.” 

“No,” Logan shakes his head. “I mean, I am your best friend, but there’s no deserve in a relationship. We’re just people. People make mistakes. I make mistakes. Please don’t sell yourself short.” 

Declan wants to say that only proves how good Logan truly is, but he settles for a simple, “Okay.” 

Logan brushes hair out of Declan’s eyes, then sighs, dropping his head to Declan’s shoulder. Declan’s hands slide down to Logan’s upper back.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Declan says. 

“I’m glad you’re here too,” Logan replies, muffled. He pulls away for a split second, eyes blurry and a crease already showing from his glasses pressing into his skin. “But if you withhold life-altering information like that from me again there will be issues.” 

“I won’t,” Declan says. He swallows. He hates promises. He hates them, because he never feels like he can maintain them. “I’ll… I’ll try my hardest.” 

Logan searches his gaze, nods, and then presses fully into Declan. 

“Woah, okay.” Declan shifts as Logan clings to him like a koala bear. Logan’s basically in his lap and Declan, well. Declan has no complaints. 

“I can do this as much as I want because we’re in love with each other,” Logan mutters, and wow, if that doesn’t send a thousand vibrations across his skin. In love with each other. 

Declan grins. He likes the sound of that. 

“You know,” Logan says conversationally. His fingers trail up to press against Declan’s face, outlining his lips. “I love it when you smile.” 

Declan hums, his smile broadening. Me too, Logan. 

Me too.

[icharchivist]

hello icha!!!!! learned from my mistakes and typed this out in a separate document. first i have to say im feeling a very deep connection with citron as of late bc i was giving myself a pep talk abt like physics and i told myself "face up and man the music!" and was like "...is that wrong. theres that song called man against the music isnt there... yeah it must be right" and. well i realized later. i also think the phrase "dont cry because it happened, smile because its over" is very good. also I’m halfway thru creating a very eclectic list of like. a Pokémon team for each a3 character which is… something. kinda knew it would happen to me. might take a while for me to finish it tho now that I’m halfway bc I’m suddenly having a crisis like “wait shit I’m only confident on my understanding and characterizing of like 4 characters am I good enough” so… it’s slow going lol. anyways. i finished that damn physics thing I was giving myself a pep talk about and so am treating myself to autumn/winter. happens that watching these events is also like. the only thing which reminds me to actually like. log into a3 lol. i am so bad at gacha games. probably a good thing in the long run. ok starting from the top!

hisoka going "zzz" as his reaction made me immediately go... oh dear, please dont fall asleep in the bath and guess what happened. yeah. good thing homare was there lol. speaking of i fucking adore homare and his poetry. id buy his collection. i also wish there was a collection like if there was a master list of every poem he says in like. at the very least main story. if not i will literally do it myself. i love homare so much im like him in that back when i had to play dodgeball id always be like kufufufu they cant hit me if im friendless enough that no one pays attention to me but like in my case it actually worked out. on the subject of the pillow fight tho, hisoka's crazy strong pillow fight throw... one more mark on the list for suspicious, maybe assassin occupation. this event made me realize how much i missed winter like. i saw the stranger pretty recently (which has caused the effect of be being like "taichi!! thats my boy!!" in my head everytime he shows up lol but anyways i havent gotten to a winter play yet so im VERY hype. especially bc this seems like it stars hisoka and homare??? like oh!! oh!!!! also detective fiction... im swooning. i also just enjoy the hisoka homare dynamic a whole fucking lot i think its nice how homare was like "yeah im ride or die for this funky lil amnesiac, why wouldnt you be?" and its just like. nice. feel like hes always reaching out to hisoka which is like. man homare is so nice.

back to chronology. ofc sakyo goes cheap for the hot springs lol. on brand as ever. was very hype for the azuma sakyo dynamic bc all i remember is like azuma trashing everyone including sakyo at some game or the other in one of the winter chapters and it was very good. or was this a clip in like a stage play? either way it was delightful. at first i misinterpreted taichi going "…" after azuma and sakyo said theyd never been on a field trip bc like. taichi being quiet or noncommunicative... after going thru autumn troupe act 1 it makes me fear for my life a little lol. anyways im glad he was just like planning fun times. speaking of taichi tho we got a tasuku taichi pair for etudes!!!! im not spoiling myself for later events but i hope to GOD tasuku and taichi do like a lead co lead in SOMETHING or at least like some mixed troupe event i want them to talk!!!

also dunno if this is an intentional pun but i enjoy that its called high spirits at the hot spring bc like oh theyre having fun but also bc like. "spirits" is used to refer to a certain type of alcohol i think? which is cool. dunno if its intentional but i liked that. anyways the talent show. taichis moving rendition of single ladies... ok i know it said single fellas but like. we know. wonder if that line was a different song in japanese? its not too old at ALL tho imo. anyways the way banri and juza being themselves Are the entertainment... flashback to when banri slaps juza live on stage instead of doing a stage slap lol. my reaction to azuma essentially went:

azuma: I can offer to bare my soul, and a little more ;)

izumi: what do u mean by that???

me: hey tasuku and omi were shirtless what's ur problem with azuma

anyways i reread and from what i understand they were maybe only flexing and doing a gun show? which like. no wonder it didnt last too long then lol. also explains why they didnt have shirtless sprites i suppose lmao. i am SO curious abt what azuma ended up doing tho that fade to black is so mysterious! did he tap dance? did he pole dance? the world will never know...

oh also im not like super familiar with azuma yet but my read on his personality is definitely like "I am so touch starved All The Time but I will be chill. :) :) this is fine :)" like he just seems to rly like being around people! just like basking in presence whether or not hes rly talking that much.

i enjoyed that juza mentioned pillow fighting with his lil brother... thats nice! i think a lot of this event was just focused on ppl having fun over the drama lol bc it got wrapped up sooo quick. i liked the bit where sakyos worried that izumi was out late searching for him tho it was so sweet. table tennis match was very fun although id argue calling hisoka and juza the two quietest tho lol like... banri exists so juza isnt quiet. just like inevitably. finally, the event cg!!! azumas hair tied up... so nice! thats how I tie my hair up sometimes tho it doesnt look nearly as nice lol. taichi rambling abt his first love for so long tho... lol. ill be honest i have to reread autumn bc i was not aware of this whole situation until it came up in the stranger and i like inferred from there. the end of this event was nice! it was cute. i dont rly have much thoughts on it but im so hype for the winter play

Hello:!!! so good to see you again, freshly learning from your mistakes then :3c

the connection with Citron is a BLAST to read about. I am glad that Citron is there, on your mind, supporting you at every turns of language. It's beautiful.

AND OH THE POKEMON LIST!!! thrilled to hear about it being a wip ongoing! take your time ofc and i hope you'll feel more confident as you go for your characters interpretation! i believe in you!

lmao i'm glad the events help you remember to play a3, i'm sure that by the time you'll be done with the events you will have unlocked so much of act 2 you won't have to worry too much about it. Anyway i'm glad you treat yourself to good things :3c

of course Hisoka fell asleep in the bath. tbh this event was a lot of "Hisoka almost dies in a spring house multiple times if it wasn't for his troupesmates". Between sleeping in the bath and almost swallowing the table tenis ball... where would we be without Winter, and especially Homare, taking care fo him.

I'm SO GLAD you like Homare that much! he's so so good! i'm sure there must be a masterlist somewhere, or well. can be done anytime i guess?? but yeah Homare is fantastic and LDJFDLKFJDF the evil plan to avoid dodgeball from both of you.. this is incredible DLKJFDLKF. But yeah alas he's loved by his own so he gets hit smh.

And yeah Hisoka is just acting sus huh.

BUT YEAH... YEAH... WINTER... BELOVED.... I feel regular and normal feelings for Winter as you know, s o .

(i'm so delighted that you feel that way about Taichi though, as he deserves!! what a good boy!!!)

But yeah Winter play next!!!!! i love the winter plays so much i hope you'll like it as well!! aND YEAH HISOKA AND HOMARE AS A DUO... for a DETECTIVE story?? so good.

I'm sO GLAD you like their dynamic! yeah i adore it too. Homare was so quick to leap into taking care of Hisoka? Like i mean he immediatly called him sleeping beauty when they first met, and immediately decided to be his roommates to watch over him, and then he did everything to take care of him and it's just so sweet. Homare has such a big heart he's so gentle with Hisoka. Homey and comfortable, whenever Hisoka admits it or not ahah.

ahah wouldn't be Sakyo if he didn't need to stay cheap. BUT YEAH the Sakyo/Azuma dynamic is pretty good. oh the event you talk about i think is in some of his very first backstage storyes (that you can read if you have them since they're at this point of the chronology). There's one where they play a mafia game and Sakyo is warry of Azuma because "people like him are those you need to worry about the most" and Azuma is just ":) you wound me :) i would never :)" and then Azuma wins the game and starts to mess with everyone. It was so fun. and yeah i see which clip you mean for the stage play!! it's so so fun they have such a neat dynamic and i loved to see it in this event as well.

and omg worrying about Taichi while he was just there preparing a fun time! this child really would have worried us all back then huh

but AHH YEAH TASUKU TAICHI.... It's such a neat dynamic! ofc i won't say anything but man i love the potential of their stories, as the two ex Godza boys. To see them bond and be comfortable with each other always make me so soft.

OH NICE CATCH FOR THE PUN! i think it must be the reason for it tbh, i love it! thanks for pointing it out!

The talent show was really fun yeah ahah! I wonder what it is in Japanese too but at least the localization was hella fun!

"anyways the way banri and juza being themselves Are the entertainment." THEY'RE SO SILLY I love them so much

AND LMAO YOUR REACTION AT AZUMA I LOVE IT. YEah i think Tasuku and Omi are just flexing (which is Still. SO FUNNY. Just there saying "our talents is.. our muscles...") meanwhile Azuma is like "my talent is that i'm crazy hot :)"

But YEAH Azuma... AZUMA WHAT DID YOU DO....

your read on Azuma's personality feels pretty spot on to me ahah omg. Staying with what you know about him, the fact that with his job and all, he seems like he's starving for connection while also terrified to make himself emotionally vulnerable. He loves staying with people, listening to them, caring for them, and he's touch starved as hell (i mean it's his job) but he doesn't seem to really know how to be on the receiving hand of affection. there's a flair talk, i can't remember where, with Omi at some point, where Azuma compliments him, and Omi is just "mhm.. but you know i think that it's more about you" and ends up complimenting Azuma in depth and it let Azuma dumbfounded because he didn't expect Omi to trick him at his own game, while Omi just genuinely don't get why Azuma is reacting that way. He gives he gives he gives, and he's genuinely happy with that, but he seems to have difficulties to take, or to demand for something, while also starving for it. I have so many emotions for Azuma.

Any mentions of Juza's little bro are the best things. I love this type of mention TwT

And yeah it was such a laid back event. Honestly deserved after the crying fest that was The Stranger imo. It's good to relax once in a while and it was nice to have them have fun. There was the bitterness of both Azuma and Sakyo's past that was always a bit looming but everyone was working so hard for them to enjoy themselves that the joy just overtake any sadness i loved it.

Sakyo worrying about Izumi is always adorable TwT

And yeah the Table Tennis match was so fun and chaotic LMAO. I love the dynamic between Juza and Hisoka. Just two usually quiet boys who like sweets. Except that yeah like you say, as long as Banri is around, Juza cannot be 100% quiet. Rip.

THE CG WAS SO PRETTY i loved seeing it. And omg you can share your hairtips with Azuma how nice :D Azuma manages to make everything look beautiful smh....

Oh yeah Taichi and his first love! if i recall he mentions it quickly at the begining, that Yuki reminds him of his first love, and he says that again at some point - then the fake Portrait he does he mentions his first love again. And since then it's been a reccuring topic so yeh :3c

but yeah! this event was really sweet and laid back, not much to say about it, but it was nice to have it at all!

Hope you'll like the winter play :3c

Take care and thank you again for your thoughts <33 i love reading them!! bless you!!