#my chest feels lighter??
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METAL SONIC X CHAOS ZERO!!!
IN ALL THE CHARTS I COULD FIND!!

Some of the charts got repetitive, so i cropped it.
NOTES: there may be someee minor inconsitences as sometimes id change mind my across one chart to another.
If you want an expliantion for ANY of my choices here, please ask! I am starving for conversation about this relationship- so please please please ask my questions- or just tell me your own ideas! Idk! Communicate! Your words and thoughts are not dumb!! They are very important to me and must be shared!!!
Also, some more of my thoughts + notes after the cut:
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I think my favorite charts are the first two, since the first one was pretty thourghough and easy to get whilst also including intresting and unique questions to the relatio ship dynamic. the second one i added a bit of character interaction so its really cute, and thats practically why i like.
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I particularly like the touch chart, as i really had to consider wthe physicality of these two, and the custom model was fun to make (look they're even holding hands haha). It was a bit tricky considering i had to figure out what touches where welcomed and what weren't based on previous canonical interactions, and my own theories/speculations.
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Oh, to explian the "lends clothes" and "borrows/steals clothes", i always found the neat detail of Neo Metal Sonic's wardrobe possesing a kind of.. arm warmer/bell sleeve? As well as its pants(?) Being a bell bottom.
Without the belt/butt cape, it does make metal sonics limbs somehwhat resemble the sillouette of Chaos' body, so obviously- i just figured that Chaos, if he were to wear any clothing, would probably be stolen by Metal Sonic since it already seems to be fond of that particular look that Chaos naturally has.
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Oh, and Metal and Chaos being somewhat organized is due to thier jobs and enviornment they grew up in. Eggman, being the opposite of Sonics carefree, chaotic attitude, would likely prefer more cleaner, organized or "controlled" enviornments. Thus, i feel that Metal Sonic may have picked up a few tidying or cleaning habits that were a cause of eggman simply teaching or implimenting features in his bots to prefer the "clean up" of "dirty" or "messy" areas.
For chaos, i do recall reading something (perhaps on the chao wiki) of him purifying the Altars water and keeping it relatively clean from debries and such. Furthermore, having to be sole guardian of little children chao, the altar and the master emerald, requires a lot of responsibility and- if anyone has worked with children before- it can get very messy very quickly. So its mere speculation, but i do think Chaos would have picked up many cleaning habits as well, as well as cooking/harvesting skills due to him having to take care of large batches of critters.
Surprisingly, for a creature named "Chaos", the name only truely applies to the singular instance in which he is "Final Chaos" (as thats likely what the echidnas called him during and after that time.) Turns out, Chaos is way more controlled and responsible than chaotic and carefree.
So to segway, out of the two, Metal Sonic would be way more chaotic considering its nack for stirring up trouble (CD, Sonic Heroes, Chaotix.. ect) for the heroes, as well as it not really having major responsibilites outside of its purpose to "destroy sonic" and occasionally obey whatever task eggman requires of it.
Thus, is why in the driving promps, i title it "a speeder".
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To explain the "Cognito Egro Sum" (aka. I think therefore i am) and the "infinty symbol" for the ages, er.. Metal sonic is a robot, and Chaos is an immortal being. If your being technical with it, you can say they're both relatively young, considering Chaos chao can't age and are often stuck in the form they were hatched in- despite the fact that chao do infact change as they age-
One can consider the idea that Chaos, for all intensive purposes, looks and probably is pretty young- if we apply chao logic to him.
Though one will argue "but Chaos is ancient" which is true, but his case is similar to Shadow's as he was trapped in that Master emerald for... millions of years............. so, similarly to how shadow was stuck for 50 years yet remains a teenager both inside and out, Chaos- for whatever age he was before he got trapped, probably still thinks and acts like that, as well as Tikal. Except now they probably need a LOT of therapy.
^hence why i put chaos's sleeping habits as "sleeps poorly" and "sleeps to little". In hindsight, being trapped in a emerald for thousands of years, with your freind of who's father killed your entire* family and burned your house (altar) down and tried to steal your most precious item (master emerald) and being the girl whos stuck with your freind(?) who killed your entire bloodline and basically genocided your entire community- stuck with him for THOUSANDS OF YEARS- is.....is going to require a lot of therapy.
So y'know, bad sleeping problems. Also probably why i depict Chaos hugging a lot + being affectionate, since being deprived your community that is entirely reliant on the concept of "caring, loving, and nurturing one another" (cause.. the opposite of that means chao will basically die upon reincarnation), for thousands of years is... a good recipe for touch starvation and a need for attention.
^hence why chaos is also on the attention side of some charts.
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^ just conintuing off of that previous statement, i did move Chaos closer towards "extrovert" in the "extrovert or introvert" prompts, as since Chaos, unlike Metal Sonic, deals closely with many chao, and often is surrounded by a crowd of them, i do believe that Chaos would have to atleast gain some energy from social interaction in order to surivive that every day, without burning out.
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The whole "who talks more" thing is kind of funny because, technically, its metal sonic (see Sonic Heroes + Sonic Free riders) who has more lines than.. Chaos's total of zero!
Meaning that, if anything, the "he said no pickles" meme would probably mean that Metal Sonic would be at the counter whilst Chaos is sitting in the back.
Though, compared to MANY other characters, these two are practically dead-silent, and would most likely rely on non-verbal ways of affection than verbal.
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Oh and the "ethical v. Immoral thing" where i emphasized that chaos was "neutral" was because by compsring him to "chaos chao", theres a dark side, good guy side, and then neutral. Considering Chaos's history of amazingly goodwilled to horrendously incidous, one can conclude that he practically in the middle in terms of ethics or morality.
Metal sonic is definetly on the more immoral side, though i wouldnt put it all the way, as i do have considering enviornmental aspects to its behavior (such as well.. being a badnik, and being constantly exposed to eggman's immoral behaviors). So, other than like, unnesecarily abusing animal freinds in CD, and throwing a ship probably full of people at sonic (Sonic heroes) there aren't many instances in which Metal Sonic does something completely immoral and unjust- without any context regarding eggman ordering it too, or simply it just doing its job as a badnik.
However those actions are prettt bad on its own- though compared to... killing out an entire species... drowning thousands of people in a city and attempting to kill eggman with a giant laserbeam... and to whatever hyjinks eggman gets up too...
Its actions seem.. relatively small (though not obsolete.)
So like, theres not going to be many issues regarding "metal sonics gotta be a good guy"/ "i can fix him🥺" mentalities, since its kind of hard to do that, when you have a kill count of a 100+ whilst Metal Sonic is still on the "i'm needlessly harming animals, and threw a boat"...
Then again, i like to think the leiniency allows for them to work on themselves together, rather than tear eachother down or hate eachothers guts.
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Transgender - both for my headcannnon, but also a refrence to it literally going "i transformed myself with my own hands" and well, i cant resist a pun/play on words now can i?
Agender- chaos dont have.. genders.
However, i thought this would change when introduced to concept of feminine and masculine models of the ancients in frontiers, but looking at Chaos, he doesnt resemble either one very much (tbh, in Sonic Forces, his model actually looks more akin to the fem version, than the pointy and sharp masc ones) and looks more akin to that of the children, if anything.
Plus, being masculine or feminine isnt really and indicator of gender anyways.. so like..???
So what? Does Chaos, gender? NOPE! Chaos isn't an ancient (thats his ancestor) and is a mutated chao. Chaos are genderless, or atleast out of that particular binary.
If Tikal showed up one day and started calling Chaos a "he/him", its likely that Chaos could've just.. adopted that. Assigned pronouns by random. Amazing.
So agender, as i can't think of anything else.
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Sexuality -idk. Look, i dont consider whomth one likes. The knowledge of my characters, or other characters sexualites comes upon me in the way preists suddenly hear the words of their gods.
I dunno, until suddenly i know. Thats just how it is.
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Ending it here cause im hungrt and cant think of anything else to chat on.
#metal sonic#chaos 0#chaos zero#metal sonic x chaos 0#metaos#shipping chart#still obssesed with that touch chart btw#like i did not realize Metal Sonic had such head-pat energy untill now#i even added an extra' lighter green to indicate where the nirvana spots are#like considering i kind of just had to guess and speculate based on minor context clues- ESPECIALLY with Chaos-#i think i did an okay job with Metal?#but damn i didnt realize how much upper body touches between these two have effected my physce. like of COURSE they'd have opposite touch-#but just seeing that stark difference is so fascinating to me. like#the no no spots make sense because these are important assets to their body inorder for them to function properly. touch a brain is danger-#-ous and touching its inner jet engine wings incorrectly may break then and ground Metal Sonic (in bird logic- that equals to death!)#but like the hands and chest thing for chaos makes some sense considering he'd have to care for chao who may have to be picked up- or#even carried in his arms- of course he'd feel comfortable there. but metal sonic who is mostly orange- would only be accustomed to generall#negative or bad touches like punches- hits- the sweet kiss of concrete scratching every once of metal off its body...#with the only generally positive ones being for mantience by eggman- thus everything is a “depends”.#but the head- the head pats- that area is the one that gets the most positive attention- especially considering eggman in the mixture#due to being tall- hed have to settle for doing head pats to give it praise- which mightve made Metal Sonic associate his head with “good-#-touch“. whilst the opposit reind true for chaos- whos body is practically impenterable except for its head (particularly its brain).#so people would attack it from that particualr region#and the vunerability and lack of defense would cause him to associate that area with “bad touch”#fun stuff!! this was super fun!!!!!!
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EDIT: Also posted on AO3!
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Peter wakes up late.
Arguably, it’s the weekend. Even then, he’s not someone who sleeps until afternoon. Mainly because someone wakes him for breakfast and to get through the day. And on some weekends, he even has breakfast in bed.
It’s 12 PM when he opens his eyes, hearing no noises out of his room.
Indeed, when he gets out of bed, Peter doesn’t find any signs of life in the Compound. Breakfast is not set. And as far as he’s concerned, no one is in the workshop, for he cannot hear any loud rock music coming from it.
“Um… F.R.I.D.A.Y?” Peter looks at the ceiling. “Where’s Mr. Stark?”
“Boss is currently in a series of meetings. He’ll be back by the evening. He said there’s coffee ready, and food in the fridge to heat up.”
“Oh.”
The boy realizes he’s still wrapped by his blanket, as Peter hugs it close.
“Would you like me to call Boss?” F.R.I.D.A.Y asks.
“No, no, I just wanted to know. Thanks.”
“You can let me know if you need him.”
“It’s okay, F.R.I.D.A.Y.”
She doesn’t insist. The house goes silent again.
He wants her to come back.
But he doesn’t say that.
So, Peter goes on with his day. He eats his cereal and he doesn’t mix the coffee with milk like he usually does. He doesn’t like black coffee like Tony does… but it doesn’t feel wrong this time. Peter tries sending messages to Ned and MJ, but they both have plans for today so they won’t be able to talk much today. Aunt May is out of town, hence why Peter is staying over. She does ask if everything is okay, and Peter reassures her he’s fine. May tells him to count on Tony with anything he needs.
Peter just sends her a smiling emoji.
He decides not to talk to Karen. One, putting his suit in the Compound for no reason other than to chat with someone is weird. Second, she would certainly let Tony know, and his mentor would immediately tell something is wrong.
Peter goes to the workshop. He greets DUM-E. As much as he loves the little bot, DUM-E only beeps and Peter has not yet figured out his language. The arachnid doesn’t have anything to fix on his suit. He asks F.R.I.D.A.Y if Tony needs any help with his projects (his mentor has given him permission to help him out if he wants). But apparently, there isn’t anything to be fixed.
Right. Nothing in the workshop, then.
Peter tries watching TV. He doesn’t really focus. He checks his phone but there aren’t any new messages. His friends are too busy for him. Time is passing very slowly. It’s not even mid afternoon and Tony will take forever to come back.
Finally, he goes back to his room. He needs to get his math homework done, anyway. Peter gets his earphones ready and he starts reading the book, his notebook page blank, waiting for his train of thought.
Except the music is too distracting. Even if he lowers the volume, it doesn’t help. But if he pauses it entirely, Peter’s thoughts are going to scream louder.
His notebook judges him. The words and instructions in his book don’t make sense. Even though Peter re-reads over and over again, they only get more confusing, and he loses more patience, as his head pounds.
Ask for help, a little voice says inside him.
Help for what? Homework?
It’s not just homework.
But it’s not important.
Everyone has better things to do.
Peter growls, breaking his pencil in half with a lot of ease, then dropping the meaningless pieces on the floor. He can’t bring himself to fix it or simply throw in the garbage. It’s just a stupid pencil anyway.
His book is slowly consumed by teardrops.
Countless.
Like it’s raining right in it.
Only Peter is the big storm cloud that can’t make it stop. That can’t do the most basic of things.
He can’t take it anymore.
He sobs. A lot. Loud.
It probably echoes in the penthouse.
People won’t hear it, though.
Peter covers his eyes, now wetting his hands instead of the book. The music is still playing and it’s mocking him. You’re stupid. You’re useless. You can’t do anything right.
He cries for a good couple of minutes. It only grows louder and more painful. Peter doesn’t know why he’s like this. He can handle things alone. He has always handled everything on his own and he never broke down like this. Why is he like this now?
The emptiness around him is engulfing him. It’s empty like his apartment when Uncle Ben died. Peter couldn’t sleep for days when it happened. Mostly because he was distracted trying to save other people’s lives, to prevent another tragedy from happening.
But there’s no one to save.
Peter is trapped.
He can’t do this.
He can’t do this.
He can’t…
…
Someone is knocking on the door.
“Peter?”
Suddenly, he’s back in the bedroom, the book and notebook are just… school objects. They aren’t saying anything.
Peter is too shocked to even open his mouth.
“Peter, I’m coming in.”
Shit. Fuck.
The boy hides himself, turning away from the door, also using his arm to try and pretend the tears aren’t there.
“M-Mr. Stark! I thought- Why”– the teen gulps, unsure what to say that won’t blow his cover. He fears he’s failed anyway –“What’re you doing here?”
“F.R.I.D.A.Y called me, she said you needed me.”
Even though Tony doesn’t sound annoyed in the slightest, Peter only feels pathetic and ashamed of the last three words.
“Y-You didn’t have to come here, Mr. Stark.”
He senses Tony approaching.
“Tell me what’s wrong,” the man patiently requests.
“I don’t know! Something is wrong with- with my brain!” Peter lashes out. He hates himself for that. Despite that, Tony doesn’t get angry. “I tried to distract myself but there was nothing to fix in the lab, TV didn’t help, and not even my stupid homework helps because I’m stupid-!”
“Hey, hey, hey…” Tony is kneeling down next to him. “You’re not stupid. It’s okay.”
Peter cries again with the other’s soft voice. “I can’t do anything, Mr. Stark.”
“That’s okay. You just need a break, kiddo.”
“Yeah, but…”
It’s not just a break that he needs.
“... what’s the point if I’m just gonna be alone?”
Tony gently places a hand on Peter’s arm. The boy finally looks back at him.
“I’m here. You’re not alone.”
“But what about your meetings? They must be more important.”
“You’re more important to me, Pete.”
He knows that, doesn’t he?
Why does it make Peter emotional anyway?
Regardless, Tony throws away the broken pencil for him.
“Come on, buddy,” he calls him, standing on his feet but waiting for Peter to follow him. Actually, he wants Peter to lead the way.
That way, the two end up at the couch. The TV is on and Peter couldn’t care less about what’s airing. Tony grabbed his blanket and wrapped him up in a burrito. Even though he’s wearing an expensive suit, he hugs Peter close and he starts telling him about the meetings today and how boring they were. He also talked shit about some of the people he had to debate with.
For the first time today, Peter smiles, at peace.
Everything is alright now.
#peter parker#tony stark#irondad#fics#my fics#fanfiction#death mention tw#i was actually having a bad day before writing this down#but now i feel... lighter#i'm still sad but my chest isn't crushing me anymore#will be posting on ao3 later!
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broke up with my ex best friend for good👍🏼
#she finally texted me today and yeah the timing sucked since i was crying all weekend but i tried to reason with her for a few hours#and when i realized it was futile i let it go. and man and i dont even feel sad#she kinda forced me to move on im lowkey proud of myself#but man we're really bombing relationships left and right this week huh#i just feel like this weight is off my chest#my life feels so much lighter without her#too bad ill always have a tattoo of her but my sister told me thats a dumb reason to keep her in my life lol#i feel so. relieved. clean. kjfghdkjfhgdfjkhg#fresh chapter i cannot wait <3#vagueposting the shit out of tumblr dot com
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Ahhvhhhhhh god you can trust your friends you can lay things on them they can have you and you can let yourself be had. inshallah i never forget that again
#got insanely drunk got some crazy things off my chest feel 50 million pounds lighter#its not fixed its going to take a lot of work but i can do it. i can make it work i can work on fixing it and THEY. CAN. HELP
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here's the thing. have we been dating for three months yeah ok. have we had constant life altering earth shattering moments of crystal clarity and depthless love also yes. so like. can u blame me
#this post is about my girlfriend#i am so incredibly gay#she is the absolute light of everything#her happiness is so bright and warm and true#her smile makes my chest feel lighter#i wake up and see her face and cannot stop myself from smiling even if i slept terribly#she makes everything good. if she is here everything is okay#as a person with sensory issues this is a crazy one: skin contact with her is incredibly regulating and calming#also being with her 24/7 is not tiring or frustrating or anything its delightful#even when we have moments of confusion or autism related overstimulation etc i actively want her there bc she makes things better not worse#which is honestly so fucking insane#anyway shes the love of my fucking life and i am so excited to spend the rest of our days together#i am so incredibly happy
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desperately need to go to bed but I’m just. really really happy with my chest
#every day is a new delight#how on EARTH did I survive the last 17 ish years???#Literally the best decision I’ve ever made#My confidence and self esteem have gone up 1000%#I feel lighter#my body feels like mine#just one more reason I have to be nc with my parents#bc my mom would scream and cry and lose her shit if she saw my chest#even though it brings me so so so much joy#sleeping shirtless again and it feels so good
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since this is how i blog now apparently i'm writing down more thoughts.
in all honesty i hate the change my blog has seen in the past year, especially ~five months. it's not like i'm on tumblr any less but there's just less stuff. sometimes this blog will go a week without a new post even though i'm here every day. it was easier last year, yeah because the gang was more active but, and i hate to say this, because the phillies were more fun. there were more gifs to make, more articles to talk about, more little clips to lose our minds over. this year they were just good and it wasn't even worth it in the end. we've been trading having fun for being good and it keeps betraying us when it matters. it keeps not being worth it. and i think that's what pisses me off the most about it.
so to try to fill that void i'm trying to follow more blogs, and i didn't think i had very strict requirements to follow a blog, and people can blog however they want obviously, but wow have i found it hard. at this point all i'm asking for is a tagging system that at least somewhat holds water. my blacklist is so long, i've been on this website for nearly 15 years, curating an experience is vital to survival. what i'm learning is that the vast majority of people on this website don't have any kind of system at all, and i can't live like that.
i'm heading back into the gdocs ellipsus files (i've been really liking ellipsus, my main beef with it being that it doesn't do curly apostrophes or quotation marks, but if i write on my phone my phone does them automatically... so then i have to go back and fix them) to work on the 52 weeks sequel. i keep wishing i had more time to sit on the original but i wanted it out as soon as possible. there's so many scenes that would've made more sense from the original bryson pov. however that's not the world we live in and some things are going to have to get addressed from a pov less suitable for them. working on things taking place in the first year feels good though, because i know at least the first 52 weeks (ha ha.) will be in the sequel. i know this isn't effort wasted. not that i'm a stranger to writing thousands of words of stuff that will never see the light of day.
still also keeping an eye on the time begins prompts. maybe something will click in my brain and i'll write something else. shorter. quicker. less research intensive. we'll see.
#i think i'm trying to get something specific off my chest with these but i don't know what it is#so i'm just throwing shit at the wall (tumblr post) hoping it'll work and i'll feel lighter#nyaps
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Shitty first attempt at for an idea for Yusuke's bio dad (someday I should make a line up if all my ideas for Yusuke's dad because I have like 4 depending on the au)
#it's not goood but I wanna get it off my chest#not sure how I feel about the hair color I was thinking lighter blue than Yusuke#because' his mom's hair is dark#don't ask me how genetics works man#anyway this is#Nobuo Okita#he's a doll maker who lives outside of Tokyo!#what was his relationship with Yusuke's mom beyond having unprotected sex at least once?#you'll have to wait to find out ^_^#art tag#oc tag#I spent a lot of time obtaining middle aged man references because I wanted him to be Twunkier than Yusuke#you can see my vision but I want it to be clearer
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my heart literally just almost exploded oh my god
#skinvision can you PLEASE change your notification style oh my fucking god#“you have an important message regarding your skin spot” GIRLY POP THE WAY I NEARLY SHAT MYSELF#anyway it got assessed and they (dermatologists) think it's low risk so! that's good. getting my dr to check it tomorrow anyway#just in case#so! god#okay i didn't know it was this heavy on my chest LMAOOOO the way i feel so much lighter rn#sjonnie.text#anyway please check your moles and skin spots y'all it's so important to do#it can quite literally save your life
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metaphorically threw up my emotions that ive been feeling 4 th past couple years
#funky feelings#feel a lot lighter though#like everythings gone off of my chest#and everyone is gonna know what he did#after this im gonna draw for a week and make dinner every day#gonna talk to my friends and tell them i love them#collectivetalks#toby speaks#AND TELL MY PARTNER ILOVE THEM#his snores r so adorable btw i had 2 be so quiet but i like almost sobbed out of cuteness aggression
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i think i’m going to reward myself with a new tattoo once my pay check comes in even though i technically cannot afford it. i NEED dr nick from the simpsons on a cigarette packet. it’s urgent to me
#i also want the pink panther on a lighter. i’ll get that another time#i’m saving my simba tattoo for when i feel more confident getting shirtless in front of my tattoo artist lmao#i KNOW it’s dumb to be so nervous about being shirtless all the time but i am simply ugly !#i want my kitties all tattooed around my heart. but GOD my chest is very sensitive i will sob
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I think there’s a sort of universal magic in that final, shuddering breath that you let out after a big cry. Like letting go. There is power in letting go
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I truly believe I don't give a shit about anything anymore. like. if I don't have any control over the situation or thing, why should I care ? i'm done stressing myself out about stuff that doesn't really matter
#my chest literally feels lighter#I don't have a weight on me anymore#i've really let go#it's kind of wild#until something triggers that in me but we will cross that bridge when we get there#lol#nicole needs to stfu
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Absolute worst feeling is commissioning an artist who has made a living off drawing characters in traditional Indigenous or otherwise ethnic styles and fashion and having them whitewash my native OC
#im not going to say who i just feel like getting it off my chest#why is his skin lighter why is his nose straight and pointy#disappointment#kar rambles#I'm only commissioning my friends and mutuals from my community now
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gm all is not lost there is beauty yet to be found (:
#got my horrible secret off my chest and certainly feeling lighter for it today#playing kittty cat games first thing i lovee snaily
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OH MY GOD SHE TOOK IT OFF NO COMMENT 😭😭😭
#ok i feel better now#a weight has been lifted off my chest#I'm not gonna make her post a disclaimer about it. Hopefully people just forget about it#but holly shit i feel lighter#egg.txt
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