#thank fuck for that and thank double fuck it's only every 2 years

[soreheadinamblemood]

.

[dazzlingjaeyun]

𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 - 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐣𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠

brother's best friend!jay x fem!reader

୨୧ genre: smut, MDNI! | words: 4.3k | cw: mean!jay, brat!reader, a looot of bickering lol, slight degradation, jay is a little manipulative, nipple play?, oral (f & m receiving, head pusher!jay), unprotected sex (hell no), creampie (+ lmk if i missed anything!!) ୨୧

hanna says: biggest thank you to my favorite jay girly, my other half and the one who motivated me to start writing on here in the first place. thank you for proofreading a lot and for letting me yap 24/7, this one's for you mwah @brklynbabyjay

mature content under cut, minors do NOT interact!

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2:47am, your phone read when you grabbed it with a sigh after tossing and turning in your bed for what felt like an eternity. the heat in your room felt oppressing – the flimsy sheets might as well have been a double blanket and your pajamas felt like a winter coat despite barely covering any skin.

with a sigh, you got up from bed and tiptoed to the kitchen. with each step down the stairs you felt the air getting just a little cooler and your tense muscles relaxing just a little more.

you flicked on the light above the sink, before grabbing a glass from the top shelf. it slipped right through your sweaty palms and landed directly in the sink before you could catch it. it didn't break, but the noise cut through the silence of the night so loudly and suddenly that you were sure it could have woken up at least half of the neighborhood.

"fuck," you whispered to yourself, wiping off your sweaty palms on your silky shorts and carefully grabbing the glass from the sink.

just as you thought no one had heard your little accident, a sudden, sleep-laced voice broke the silence again and startled you to a point you almost dropped the glass another time.

"are you kidding me?"

you didn't have to turn around to know it was jay's oh so humble self standing in the kitchen door.

"enlighten me, what's your problem this time?" you asked, although you knew the answer. you kept your back to him as you filled the glass with ice cubes and cold water, waiting for him to reply.

jay's jaw clenched at your words. you had woken him up, just as he'd fallen asleep after hours of tossing and turning on the sofa, trying to somehow ignore the heat that pressed down on him like a weight too heavy to carry. and now you had the audacity to ask stupid questions?

"it took me forever to fall asleep and you wake me up cause you can't even hold onto a glass?" he snapped. his voice sounded less sleepy now – still raspy but regaining the usual edge he had to it whenever he was talking to you.

he was your brother's best friend and you'd known him since forever. you were sure the two of you had gotten along back then, when jake brought him over for the first time – sometime in his first year of high school when you were still in middle school. but just a little later, he'd started to pick fights with you every chance he got, which eventually led to him mostly ignoring you, and if he did talk to you, his voice always had that annoyed undertone.

for a moment, you didn't say anything, bringing the glass to your lips and taking a sip, letting the cold run down your throat and hoping it would somehow also cool off the anger that started to bubble up in your chest.

as you stayed silent, jay's gaze remained on you, only now noticing the light blue silk pajamas you were wearing. they were unnervingly short – more skin than fabric, really – and it annoyed him even more how the shorts outlined your ass perfectly, your plush cheeks just slightly exposed from how little coverage the piece of clothing provided.

when you finally turned around, his eyes shot up to your face immediately. you took in the sight in front of you: jay's messy hair and the way his shirt clung to his torso a little more than it usually would – you were pleased to see that he was suffering from the summer heat as much as you were.

"well," you broke the staring contest between the two of you, involuntarily trying to look meaner than the other, "if you didn't sleep in my living room, maybe you wouldn't have to bother me."

jay's eyebrows shot up at your remark. "or if you were a decent person for once and weren't so inconsiderate–"

"i'm inconsiderate?" you interrupted him. "that's rich coming from someone who moved in here two weeks ago and thinks he can make the rules," you huffed.

jay's jaw clenched another time as he took a step toward you, but you didn't back down. you looked up at him, returning the same fiercey look he gave you.

"you think it's fun living with you of all people?" he asked through gritted teeth, his taller figure hovering over you.

"no, but it's not my fault your girlfriend kicked you out," you replied, keeping your voice steady although your heart started to pound in your chest at the way his eyes narrowed slightly. yet, a tiny pang of amusement at how your words seemed to affect him joined the nervousness of wondering how far you could push him before he snapped.

oh, now you were curious.

"honestly, i'm not surprised," you added, your voice not faltering even when he stepped so close your bodies practically touched. "if you were only half as much of an asshole–"

"shut. up." he snapped, accenting each word.

the corners of your lips shot up into a smug grin. "can't stand me talking back to you?"

"i can't stand you in total."

"i never would have guessed," you replied sarcastically, taking a step back to casually lean your back against the kitchen counter. you brought the glass of water up to your neck letting the cold condensed water on its outside cool your skin. "wonder why you hate me so much, though. i don't remember pissing in your cereal when we were kids."

jay's jaw tightened even more. he was so annoyed. there you were, standing in the stupid kitchen with your stupidly short pajamas showing way too much of your skin that looked so. stupidly. soft. and you were bashing him, although he should be the one to talk you down right now. god, he couldn't stand you and how fucking hot you looked when you were snappy.

"you just make it hard not to," he replied, his voice laced with more annoyance than you'd ever heard from him before.

you chuckled at his words, the sound making his blood boil even more. what was so funny about him being annoyed, borderline angry?

"listen, jay bae," you said sarcastically as you put the glass down on the counter behind you, "if you want to stay with me and jake, you'll stop acting like i'm some kind of tragedy. you either ignore me, or you at least pretend to get along with me. deal?"

for a few moments, he just looked at you, his eyes still full of frustration. then, he suddenly stepped forward, his hand reaching for the back of your neck and his lips crashing onto yours harshly.

you were too shocked by his sudden action and the rush of warmth flooding through you to react. he pulled back just as quickly as he'd leaned in, leaving your lips cold with the shadow of his, and looked at you as if searching your eyes for a reaction.

"what the fuck?" you asked, still taken aback.

you wanted to take a step back, but the kitchen counter was already pressing against your back. jay smirked at the shocked expression on your face.

"i said shut up," he repeated his words from earlier that night, as if that would suddenly validate that he'd kissed you. he placed his hands on the counter directly next to your body, trapping you between him and the cold marble surface.

"you don't get to–"

he leaned in again, his lips brushing along the curve of your neck. you felt his breath against your skin, and despite the heat he radiated, you shivered – your words caught in your throat.

you could have pushed him away – should have pushed him away, really – but instead, you stood there, too stunned to move, with your heart violently pounding in your chest.

his hands found their way from the kitchen counter to your hips, fingertips pressing into your clothed skin in a way that made you almost feel his frustration.

the warmth of his breath brushed against your neck, and you couldn’t help but close your eyes. you could feel your breath coming faster and your mind growing foggy as his lips traced a line to your collarbone, leaving a heat that shot right down to your core.

“w-what are you doing?” your voice was barely louder than a whisper, but it was enough to make him pause.

"pretending that we get along," his lips brushed against your neck as he replied.

your breath hitched as he slid one of his hands under the thin fabric of your silk top, his fingers digging into the skin on your waist as he held you.

you wanted to push him away, really. everything told you to do so. but instead your hand found its way to the back of his head, pushing him towards your neck again. you couldn't make sense of it, but the way his lips brushed harshly against your skin, and the way you fisted his hair slightly whenever his teeth grazed against your skin, felt like you could finally let out the frustration that had been building up over the past two weeks of living with him.

"you're so goddamn annoying," he mumbled, pulling away from your neck only to push your top up your torso, over your head, and mindlessly discarded it on the floor.

just as you were about to cover your bare skin, he attached his lips to it again, moving from your neck to your collarbones and down to your chest. his hands found their way to your shoulders, holding you in place as he sucked one of your nipples into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it and causing you to shiver, despite the hot summer air. you bit your lip to hold back a moan, yet you leaned into his touch, your eyes fluttering shut at the sensation of his tongue against you.

"speechless suddenly?" he asked as he pulled off and brought his lips to the other side of your chest.

"fuck you," you mumbled back before quickly pressing your lips together. your fingers were still tangled in his hair, keeping him close to you, but you would not give him the satisfaction of a moan.

"a little more patience," he grinned, before swirling his tongue around your sensitive skin another time.

his words suddenly made you hyperaware of the situation. you shouldn't have let him kiss you in the first place, much less help him to take off your top by voluntarily lifting up your arms. as the realization hit, you quickly pulled him off of you.

"you're disgusting," you said, trying your best to not sound as breathless as you felt.

"oh please," he grabbed your wrist to hold you in place as you attempted to pick up your shirt, "the way you're acting, you're practically asking for it."

"asking?" you echoed in disbelief. he was insufferable. "you have too much of an ego, don't you think?"

jay narrowed his eyes. "no, i think it's the truth," he said, letting go of your wrist and leaning down to your neck another time.

you swallowed hard. "stop playing games, jay," you said in a warning tone, yet you didn't push him away as his teeth grazed your skin again.

"you started the 'game', and you're losing it, darling," he replied, the nickname dripping with sarcasm.

you hated to admit he was right. maybe it was just your sleep-deprived mind, or maybe it was cause the air was so unnervingly thin, but his touch sent shiver after shiver down your spine, covering you in goosebumps and sending waves of heat through your body all at once. even his annoying words started settling between your legs and no matter how much you pressed your things together, it just wouldn't stop.

"look at you," jay said in an amused tone as his eyes flicked down to your legs, your thighs subconsciously rubbing against each other, "bet you soaked your pretty panties for me and i didn't even touch you."

a wave of heat shot up to your face. you didn't know if it was from embarassment or anger, but you didn't bother trying to hide it. "oh please, jay, you couldn't even make me cum if your life depended on it," you said, the words slipping past your lips before you could stop them.

he looked up, his eyes flashing with something you didn't understand as they met yours. "bet," was all he said before sliding your flimsy shorts down your legs, making sure to cup and squeeze your ass just once after he'd taken them off.

before you could react, he knelt down in front of you, harshly grabbed your thighs to spread your legs, and pressed his tongue flat against your clothed core.

your knees buckled slightly at the sudden contact, and you swore you could feel jay's stupid grin. "like i said. soaked." he murmured as he pulled the wet piece of fabric to the side.

"shut up," you whispered, not quite trusting your voice when the way you felt his breath against your wet core already caused you to clench around nothing.

"someone's sensitive," he whispered back, the airflow hitting your skin yet again.

"i said shut up," you repeated, and without wasting another thought, you grabbed his hair and harshly pulled him to where you needed him the most.

jay immediately licked a stripe along your folds, humming in satisfaction. "mouth so dirty but your pussy's so sweet," he mumbled against your skin before focusing his tongue on your clit.

your eyes fluttered shut, only to open again shortly after, as you failed to suppress a quiet moan. the sound went straight to jay's cock, causing him to hum against you another time as he sped up his movements, eager to pull another moan out of you.

he succeeded when he pushed his tongue into your leaking hole and his nose brushed against your clit. you sounded so sweet, he could cum only listening to you – but he'd never admit that.

you pulled on his hair harsher, subconsciously bucking your hips forward for him to reach deeper, as your legs started to shake more. jay grabbed one of them and rested it on his shoulder, never stopping to lap up everything your cunt gave him.

just as you felt your orgasm approaching, your legs closing around jay's head with a force that almost made him dizzy, he pulled back.

your eyes shot open and you looked down to him with an almsot bewildered expression on your face. he looked so hot with your slick covering his lips, his chin and parts of his nose, but right now you really just wanted to punch that stupid grin off his lips.

"seriously?" you asked as he stood up and wiped his chin with the back of his hand. "i was so close to–"

"so i could make you cum," he cut you off with the same annoying grin.

you didn't reply. instead, you tried to bend down to grab your clothes from the kitchen floor, but jay held your wrist again.

as he didn't let go even after you'd shot him a glare, you rolled your eyes. "congratulations, jay. do you want a trophy for your efforts? i didn't think you were so committed to win the gold medal in orgasm delivery–"

"shut up, will you?" jay interrupted, the smirk quickly replaced by his usual annoyed demeanor. "you're playing so hard to get when–"

"maybe you're just hard to want," you cut him off again, but he only raised his eyebrows.

"right," he replied, sliding one finger through your folds and collecting your wetness, the sudden contact drawing a surprised whimper from you. you quickly bit your lip, mentally cursing yourself for letting the sound slip.

"doesn't seem like 'hard to want'."

you glared at him for a moment, before averting your gaze. without another word, jay grabbed your arms and turned both of you around so he was standing with his back against the counter and you were in front of him.

before you could open your mouth to speak, jay placed his hands on your shoulders and firmly pressed down, causing you to sink to your knees in front of him.

"so much talking when you could just put that damn mouth of yours to use," he murmured.

the words made you gulp, but for some reason, they also sent a new wave of excitement through you.

one of his hands moved to cup your chin, tilting your head up to look at him. "let's see if you can only talk big or if you're actually useful for something, hm?" he asked, the tone of his voice almost soft.

the question annoyed you as much as it challenged you. eager to prove him wrong, you hooked your fingers under the waistband of his shorts, pulling them and his boxers down in one go, and only hesitating slightly when his hard cock sprang free.

"backing down?" jay cooed, his thumb gently caressing your cheek.

you didn't reply, just wrapped one hand around his length, gliding your thumb over his leaking slit to use the precum as lubricant, before slowly pumping your hand up and down.

jay hissed at the contact, his hand tightening around your chin and the other gripping the counter behind him to steady himself.

his reaction made your lips curl up in a victorious smile, but you knew you could do better. you stopped your movements, waited for him to look down at you with a puzzled face, and licked a stripe from his base up to his very top. you closed your lips around it and swirled your tongue just for a second before releasing it again while looking up at him through your lashes.

jay groaned quietly, his hand leaving your chin and finding its way to the back of your head instead, where he gathered your hair in a makeshift ponytail before pushing your head closer to him again. his other hand reached to tap on your lips, which you wordlessly parted just enough to close them around his tip again.

jay pushed your head closer, letting you take his length into your mouth – inch by inch until you gagged around him and he grinned smugly.

"can't take more?" he teased, but you were determined to wipe that damn grin off his face.

you breathed in through your nose and moved your head forward in one go until your nose hit his pelvis and you could feel his tip against the back of your throat, swallowing around it to suppress another gag.

the feeling drew a surprised moan from jay that caused you to look up at him with teary eyes. you swallowed again, humming in satisfaction as you received the same reaction.

"c-can't believe you're actually good at something," jay stammered. "do that again."

you obeyed, the feeling causing his eyes to flutter shut and his head to shoot back with another quiet moan.

he slowly pulled your head off his cock only to harshly push it back forward again after you'd swirled your tongue around his tip. he continued, his movements growing faster and rougher as his hips started to thrust forward every time he brought your head close – hitting the back of your throat each time, while you tried your best to not gag and he tried his best to not moan too loudly, not wanting jake to hear.

your hands reached to grab his thighs, attempting to somehow ground yourself when he slammed his hips forward another time. your jaw was tense, your eyes were burning from the tears that dared to roll down your cheeks, your head hurt from the force with which jay pulled your hair together, and yet all you could think about was finally making him cum and proving him wrong.

as his hips stuttered and his breaths started coming ragged, he held you in place, your nose pressed against his abdomen and the tip of his cock against the back of your throat. you eagerly hollowed your cheeks and swallowed again, pushing him over the edge.

"stay there," he ordered in between quiet moans. you felt his cock twitching as ropes of his cum ran down your throat. you quickly swallowed, yet couldn't stop a little from running down your chin as he finally pulled off.

you quickly wiped your chin with the back of your hand and stood up on shaky legs, shivering at how your arousal made your thighs stick together.

jay looked at you, his chest still rising and falling quickly. "hard to want, hm?"

"my god, fine. just fuck me already," you replied, your voice laced with frustration, which caused his lips to curl up into a little smile.

he turned you around and firmly pressed his hand on your back to guide your chest down onto the cool marble countertop.

"beg for it," he said in the most casual way possible.

you turned your head back and looked at him in disbelief. "seriously now?" you tried to stand up straight, not willing to feed his enormous ego more by begging, but his hand stayed firm on your back as his other slowly pumped his cock a few times before he guided his tip up and down your sensitive folds.

you clenched your fists, trying to move your hips back against his, but jay stepped back.

"i said beg for it," he repeated sternly.

when you hesitated, he lifted his hand from your back, attempting to step away fully. you squinted your eyes and mumbled out a quiet "please." you felt the embarrassment wash over you, but you just really wanted to finally feel him.

"what was that?" jay asked, stepping closer again.

you sighed. "please, jay," you repeated, still quiet but a little clearer than before. a hint of relief rushed through you as you felt jay's hand on your back and the tip of his cock against your needy hole again.

"please what?"

srew that. you were desperate but not desperate enough to ruin your pride entirely.

"you know what, fuck off, i–"

the words caught in your throat as jay suddenly pushed his entire length into your aching hole, knocking the air out of you. the stretch was so intense that you desperately searched for something to hold onto, but jay didn't give you any time to adjust as he pulled out almost entirely only to snap his hips forward harshly again, drawing a chocked moan from you when his tip hit your cervix.

"gonna finally put you in your fucking place," he said, hissing at the way your walls sucked him in so perfectly with each thrust.

"j-jay..." you whimpered once the pain gave way to pleasure, hating yourself for giving in to him, but also not caring enough to make him stop.

he groaned lowly at the way his name rolled off your tongue, mixing perfectly with the sounds of your wetness and his skin slapping against yours.

"takin' me so well," he mumbled in between his thrusts. you felt so warm and tight around him, the moans you tried to muffle clouding his mind until there was nothing left but you and the way you felt.

the sudden praise caused you to clench around him involuntarily. his hands moved to grab your hips, holding you in place as he continued to pound into you. he looked down to where your bodies connected, watching as his cock disappeared in your pretty cunt with each thrust.

"you're so stupid," he muttered, slipping back into the way he alway spoke to you, "for ever letting other idiots have their way with you when i was right there all the time," he blabbered out, slamming his hips into yours even harder.

you wanted to speak back, but each thrust knocked the air out of your lungs all over again as you placed your hands on top of his to somehow ground yourself.

"so tight for me," he mumbled at the way your walls clenched around him the closer you came to your high. "mhh, so wet"

"o-only for you," you managed to slur, way too far gone to realize what you'd just said, only focusing on the tight knot in your stomach that was dangerously close to snapping.

"jay, i-", you cut off as your orgasm washed over you in waves, each feeling heavier than the one before. jay brought one of his hands to your mouth to cover it, muffling your moans as his own high hit him at how strongly you clenched down on him.

you felt his cock twitching inside you before the warm ropes of his cum painted your walls white. he thrusted into you a few more times, sloppy and less energetic, riding out his high, before coming to a halt.

he took a few seconds to catch his breath. then, he quickly pulled out of you, the sudden feeling making you hiss. as you slowly lifted your chest from the counter, turning around on wobbly knees, jay had already pulled up his shorts again.

he bent down, picked up your pajamas and threw them in your direction. you caught them, wordlessly putting them back on as the reality of what had just happened started to crash down on you.

jay walked past you, opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water, before giving you one last glance and heading toward the door.

"wait," you held him back. he turned around to look at you, raising his eyebrow in question.

"what," you hesitated, "what... are we doing now?" you asked, averting your eyes and looking at the floor in front of you instead.

jay shrugged. "pretending that it never happened," he said casually before walking out the door.

© dazzlingjaeyun, 2024. please do not copy.

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[ghost-with-a-teacup]

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐈𝐧 𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧 (𝐈𝐈𝐈)

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x F!Reader

Summary: Let's go back to the beginning, when you meet Miguel for the very first time.

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of loss.

A/N: Hello!! I'm sorry for the unexpected hiatus, but I'm back with the much requested first meeting for the couple in 'What's In Between' (read it here! and read part 2 here!) Enjoy :3

Alright people, let’s do this one last time.

You were bitten by a radioactive spider, and for the last 2 years, you were your world’s one and only Spider-Woman.

Your job took you around the entire world, not limited only to your hometown (even if that one time you went to Paris was by hanging on for dear life on a hijacked plane), and while it was difficult, saving people was the reason why you did what you did.

It’s what led you to this predicament now.

“Oh c’mon Vulture! You gotta stop doing this, we’re practically best buds by now, aren’t we? So why don’t you just relax, let me take you to prison and we can call it a day, yeah?” you say as you swing from wall to wall.

“Get out of my WAY!” he shouts, flying around as he evades your attacks.

“Don’t be like that,” you snicker, leaping out of the path of a bomb he threw at you. “Alright, hear me out. If you stop destroying the place, quit the whole villain gig, and I’ll get out of your hair. Deal?”

He completely ignores you, continuing to fly higher and higher until he hovers around the highest point of the ceiling.

“Not much of an exit you can take there, bud!” you shout up at him before glancing around at something you could use to take him down. But before you know it, he’s nosediving straight down.

Straight into you.

Desperately you try to shoot out your webs to escape, but he extends his wings, expanding the area of impact and leaving you with nowhere to run.

He smacks you out of the air, and you’re hurling toward the ground as the wind is knocked from your lungs at the collision.

Right before you can hit the concrete floor, fluorescent red webbing emerges from a bizarre sort of glitching portal effectively saving you from the fall.

But then you’re flung back into the air with a yelp as the man uses your form to propel himself out and toward Vulture.

“WHAT THE FUCK DUDE!” you shout as you fly before slinging yourself to the nearby wall.

“I just saved you,” he says bluntly before promptly ignoring you again. You shoot him an incredulous look before rolling your eyes. Yes, you were grateful but this guy already seemed like a major asshole.

Shooting out your webs, you swing up to meet your ‘saviour’.

“So who are you, mystery man?” you ask.

“Do we really need to do this right now?” he glances at you before slinging further away, trying to grab ahold of Vulture.

“It’s just common courtesy!” you shout up at him.

“That’s classified.”

“YOU’RE classified!” you say back, and he only blinks at you for a moment. You knew it was childish, but this guy was very quickly getting on your nerves. Let’s be honest here, its not every day that some random man comes flying out of some portal straight into a fight.

Especially someone who was just like you.

You didn’t think it was possible that there even could be anyone else like you. While heroes were common in your world, no one had powers like yours. Telekinesis? Check. Super-speed? Double check. The list goes on, but someone with web-slinging, spider-like powers? As far as you knew, you were the only one.

Until now.

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard anyone say,” he says, his webs wrapping around Vulture’s wings. Quickly you wrap your own webs around him, effectively hindering his movement and any means of escape.

“Surprised you hear anyone say anything, your social skills are atrocious,” you retort.

“My social skills are just fine, thank you,” he shoots back before sirens can be heard rounding up around the building.

“Alright, that’s my cue to escape. Bye, weird stranger!” you say, and with a single swing you disappear into the city.

“WAIT!” he calls out, but you were already gone.

~

You sat up on a rooftop, the lights of your city at night creating your favourite view. While you had to admit it had its issues, it was still beautiful. It was home. Your mask sat on the ground by your side, a tiny glimpse of your true self behind the hero persona.

“You’re impossible to find, you know,” a voice interrupts, footsteps barely audible behind you. But you had heard him coming from a mile away, or felt him was a better term to use, with you Spidey-sense and all.

“Usually the whole point of disappearing is because you don’t want to be found,” you say with a shrug, turning around to look at him. “What do you want, stranger? I have a city to take care of.”

While he would have never admitted it then, you truly looked beautiful with the glow of the city lighting up your form. Stranger or not, he thought you were beautiful from the start.

“My name is Miguel O’Hara, and as I assume you’ve figured already, I’m not from this world.” He introduces.

“I had a feeling you weren’t from around here. Considering the fact that you were trying to find me, it’d be safe to assume you already know who I am?” you ask.

“I do. I’m aware of all those with unique spider abilities in each universe,” he responds.

“So what are you doing here, Miguel O'Hara? Or better yet, what do you want from me,” you ask, standing up to meet him at his level (though he stood much taller than you, but it was worth an effort).

“I wanted to recruit you to Spider Society,” he says. “To become a protector of the multiverse, and the canon events that follow everyone destined to live the lives that we do.”

You can’t help the snort that escapes, and you look him up and down.

“If you knew about me, you would know that I don’t work with others,” you say, your eyes darkening for a moment. “It’s too much of a liability.”

You used to have a partner in crime, in the early days of your life as Spider-Woman. He was your best friend and…well, you know the rest. You never worked with anyone again, at least not extensively. You told yourself it was so that no one else could get hurt because of you. But selfishly, it was because you couldn’t bear the hurt of losing someone dear to you again.

Miguel’s mask disappears from his face, and you’re met with an expression of understanding.

“I probably know better than anyone the pain of loss that comes with this job. But what if I told you it was for a reason? That the loss we go through? That it wasn’t for nothing, it wasn’t just a ‘fuck you’ from the universe to make us suffer. It’s so that we could become who we are,” he says, and you can’t help but hesitate for a moment.

“I would tell you that it’s bullshit. I’m not one for the whole ‘fate’ sort of thing. Life is what you make of it, you have the power to change the course of your life, it’s not just some sort of higher power dictating every event of your life. I am who I am because I chose this life, and not because I was fated to be here.”

He sighs as he looks at you for a moment.

“I knew this would be harder than I thought,” he says, and you only shrug.

“Let me show you something. Lyla?” he says, and a hologram pops up.

“Yes?” she asks.

“Do the thing,” he says, and she sends him a confused look. “What thing?”

“The multiverse explainy thing, what? How many times have we done this?” he says, pinching the bridge of his nose, and you can’t help the small laugh that sneaks out. Lyla sends you a wink in turn.

“Look dude, I’m just an AI, you gotta tell me what I need to be doing, I don’t have mind-reading capabilities yet,” she says, but quickly the city disappears from view, replaced with a complex interconnected web.

“This is the multiverse, are you aware of it?” Miguel asks.

“The theory that beyond the scope of our view are unobservable parallel universes that exist simultaneously, right?”

“Correct. Well, that theory is proven to be true as I’m from an alternate universe. Specifically, the one that holds Earth-928 where I exist as Spiderman 2099. You are from Earth-1550 where you exist as your world’s Spider-Woman,” he explains.

“How do I know I can trust you and your word?” you ask, and he deadpans. “You and I both know that you sensed I was not from this universe the moment I walked through that portal,” he says, and you only grin.

“Never hurts to ask, right?” you say, and he scoffs.

“Anyway, to continue. Each one of these nodes is a separate universe,” he points them out as he walks through the web. “And these,” he says, gesturing to the larger portions that each node connects to at some point, “are canon events. The parallel events that happen to every single Spider individual in every single universe.”

You look around at these so-called ‘canon events’, and every one takes you back to the moment you lived through them yourself.

The bite. The exploration of your newfound abilities.

…the loss of your best friend.

“They’re sometimes good, they’re sometimes bad, and sometimes they’re terrible. But each event is part of every spider’s life, and it makes us who we are whether we like it or not. I’ve observed and studied this for years, and the theory remains true in every new world I look at.”

“Okay…so my point is disproven, duly noted. But this whole ‘protector of the multiverse’ gig, what’s up with that?” you ask, still not understanding why he wanted you.

“The thing with canon events is that they must proceed, for the sake of a universe. The whole idea of ‘changing your fate’ through a series of actions was always going to happen whether you realize it or not. But with the emergence of more complex technology comes the capacity to multiverse jump, like in my case here,” he explains, and you take a moment to process his words.

“Alright, continue,” you say.

“These individuals are not part of that universe, and are in turn a new variable in the universe’s series of events that are supposed to occur. Disruption of these events can and will cause that universe to fall apart because they were never supposed to be there in the first place. My job is to ensure that no canon events are disrupted, in turn protecting that world, and the multiverse.”

“Okay wait, wait. I don’t get it, you’re saying that interference can cause a universe to just up and disappear? Just like that? I find it hard to believe,” you say, your suspicion growing.

“What do you not understand? Each minute decision made has a rippling effect. Disregard enough of what’s supposed to happen in one world and it destroys itself from the inside out,” he says, his frustration quickly growing evident (man, this guy has a temper!)

“I just don’t understand how one decision someone makes could destroy an entire universe, and you’re not really giving me much to go off of besides your word. I’m not one to blindly follow someone because they tell me to.”

“You want proof? Alright, I’ll show you proof,” he says, and all at once, the web disappears and is replaced by rippling holograms, transforming it into a whole new world.

A world that was falling apart at the seams.

All around you people are screaming as the buildings vanish without a trace, leaving not even dust behind. And one by one they too disappear.

Then, you see a familiar face. Miguel is running, and in his arms is a little girl no older than 9 clinging to him like he was her lifeline.

All she can utter is ‘Daddy’ before she too disappears, leaving Miguel behind with a devastated look on his face.

You can’t help but take a step back, a hand covering your mouth at something that looked like it only happened in movies.

Before you know it, there’s nothing left of the world. From behind his hologrammed form Miguel emerges, looking around at what was left behind of his former world.

Nothing.

“The reason I know it will happen…is because I was the cause of the destruction of a world myself. I found a universe where I had the life I always wanted. The canon event that happened was that the Miguel in that world was supposed to die, leaving Gabriella alone. But instead, I made the decision to replace him, living the life that I was never supposed to have.”

“For a while…I was happy. But little by little the world was collapsing at the seams because I was never supposed to be there. I disrupted the course of events, and it caused everything to fall apart while I could do nothing but watch,” he says, his eyes distant.

“Do you understand now, why what I do is so important?” he asks, his hardened voice now soft as he tries to conceal the hurt.

“I’m…I’m sorry,” you whisper, and that’s all you can say because you don’t know what else you could say.

He glances back up at you, his red eyes glassy for a moment but he blinks it away before you notice.

“So, will you join?” he asks, holding out a single watch expectantly.

“Okay,” you say, finally relenting.

Maybe this was the start of something new.

Taglist: @beiroviski, @scaraza, @blueoorchid, @remuslupinwifee, @phobia032, @local-mr-frog, @johfaam0, @rawegggohan, @honeycriess, @alexenoirex, @chimpkinnuggies, @rqdior, @banana—belle, @notasadgirlipromise, @6billionyearsold, @gods-perfectidiot, @ieatmunson, @honeii-puff, @wh0re4zaynmalik, @toplinehyunjin @theprettyarachnid

A/N: Real talk, I wasn't sure I was even going to post this today because I went dirtbiking for the first time yesterday and fell about a million times, and my legs are bruised to the hells because I don't know how to jump out of the way hgfjkghfdgjhkd. But here we are! Thank you for reading (and I'm sorry its not my usual fluff for this story, but this is how I imagined they met lolol)

[diazsdimples]

Here's a cute fact about the first year of Buck and Eddie's relationship. Buck decided to surprise Eddie with one gift for every week of their first year together.

It started completely by accident because they were going for a walk, and Buck realised it had been a whole week since they'd finally confessed their feelings for each other! So, while Eddie found a public bathroom (he's got the bladder of a child and Buck teases him so hard for it), Buck ducked into a tourist shop, panicked at all the stuff that was there, and found Eddie a small, carved elephant. He presented it to Eddie while they were on the beach, all shy and cute with a little "happy one week, baby."

The second week was also accidental - Buck had been at the grocery store and found a pretty red rose, and had a flashback to Eddie grumbling at one point that all his girlfriends expected him to get them flowers, but no one ever got him flowers! So he got Eddie the rose and politely pretended he didn't see how misty eyed it made Eddie.

The third week was a little book on cool fungi that Eddie had spotted when they were looking for a birthday present for Chris. He'd been looking at it wistfully but apparently couldn't justify the price (Buck could though, so he bought it and hid it in Eddie's locker)

By the 4th week, Buck's realised he's started a Thing. He woke up on the morning of the 4th week, and hadn't found anything so h went outside, fretted around a bit and fond a really cool rock, which he gave to Eddie. He told Eddie that otters have favourite rocks and Eddie reminded him of an otter, so therefore needs a rock of his own. He stole it back later that evening and painted it in a pretty orange/pink pattern that Eddie loved.

And so it continued. Buck would find something small (or maybe something big, like one time he accidentally bought home this big grand clock he'd found at the antiques store and Eddie teased and teased him about it when he said it was for Eddie because "baby when have I ever shown interest in clocks") every week, and every week Eddie would hold him close and thank him for the gifts.

Around the 48th week, Buck realised that 1. they've become hoarders a little bit and 2. it's almost been a year and what the fuck does he get his boyfriend that already has 48 other gifts?? He goes to Hen and Chim and Bobby about it, and they're also at a loss, because as Bobby says, it's not like Eddie's short on things these days. Chimney very helpfully says "well I would tell you to get him a skateboard that doubles as a backpack but that was last week's gift so..." It's only then that Hen asks if he's ever considered asking Eddie to marry him.

That's it sorted. Buck's going to get Eddie a ring for the 52nd week. Nothing feels right when he goes to jewelers, though. They're all too standard and boring, and nothing feels like BuckandEddie. He ends up finding this very cool lump of obsidian in a box from his travels, which he takes to the jeweler and asks if they can turn it into a ring. They can't, because it shatters, but they do make a band out of gold and create an inlay of obsidian in the band. Buck plans this big, elaborate proposal for their 1 year anniversary, which naturally Eddie accepts. Eddie makes Buck promise never to buy him anything again, which of course Buck can't do but he makes the gifts a lot less frequent and more practical.

[lesbesapphic]

Lavender Haze

A Roommate WandaNat x Reader au

Summary- You were in your freshmen year when Wanda and Natasha took an interest in you. Now in your junior year, you are their roommate but things aren't as simple as they seem.

Behind closed door, you become their plaything. Sometimes it works in your favor and sometimes it doesn't. Only time can tell if you will survive this toxic arrangement or not?

Warning - choking, humiliation, slapping,  reader in trouble, wandanat are toxic as hell, they love reader in their own way but not much, dom/sub undertone etc

Please don't flag my post. I have added ratings!

A/N-- Hello Everyone!

I hope you all are doing great! I am really excited for you all to read this and hopefully you all will love it as much as I loved writing it.

Feel free to send me ideas and your thoughts about this!

Buy Me A Coffee || Ko-fi (Thank you for supporting me <3)

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You were sleeping peacefully in your bed, one leg draped over the big panda stuff toy you got yourself last summer. Wanda and Natasha had mocked you for it but you didn't care, the purpose of the toy was very clear, being squeezed to death. Every night when you had it in a suffocating grip or one leg draped over it as you drift to sleep, you would mentally flip a bird off to the couple with whom you shared this three bedroom duplex apartment.

"What the.." You panicked when you were lifted off from the bed and in the air, flaying your arms, you tried to find the ground, your toes brushing against it slightly. Before you could make much out of it, you were dragged outside and toward the kitchen, you knew it was Natasha and the glimpse of her red hair confirmed it. She had quite a habit of manhandling her way around you. They both do but Natasha was more efficient at it.

Your sleepy eyes caught the other half of the couple sitting on the kitchen stool, her fingers tapping against the screen of her phone. Natasha dropped you on the floor, not too gently. "Ow.. fuck yo-" Before you could even finish the sentence, the back of Wanda's hand collided with your cheek. Instantly tears welled up in your eyes, the sleep long gone.

"2." Wanda simply reminded you of the number of chances you have left before you get in serious trouble and you ignored the uneasy feeling that creeped up your stomach at the thought. Her weird rules about unnecessary swearing somehow only seemed to apply on you but not her own girlfriend who had a mouth of a sailor when she would be in her zone. Sometimes you wondered was it because of her frustration of not getting her way around Natasha that made her double down on you.

You ignored the strawberry blonde in front of you and took in the smell of cocoa in the kitchen, "What is it? Ooh pancakes- Ouch, Natty Please." You whimpered in pain when fingers tangled in your hair, tugging on the roots, you hand instantly wrapped around Natasha's trying to ease the tugging but your strength was nothing compared to hers.

"I came to make breakfast for your ungrateful little ass and look what I found!" Natasha turned your head toward the sink and you whimpered more at the sight of the dishes from last night than at the burning in your scalp. Natasha had told you to do the dishes and you had snapped at her, promising to do it later but you never got the time as Wanda had grabbed you to watch a movie, falling asleep there in her arm as she would massage your scalp. You wanted to blame Wanda but knowing that it would not only earn you a good smacking from Natasha but Wanda too.

"I am sorry. I will do it now." You pleaded hoping she would let go off your hair now but the woman hardly paid a heed to her grip, instead decided to reward you with a condescending look as she stared you down, "You lack too much of the cognitive ability to remember a simple task, Darling. I hardly doubt you have the motor coordination to perform it." Natasha mocked and Wanda snickered from behind you. You ignored the way your eyes started to tear up, hoping to hold it back before they could prey on it as well.

Natasha noticed the tears in your eyes and feigned a warm smile, slowly leaning in toward your ear, "For now, I will handle it and later you will pay me back by doing the only one thing you are good at." She pulled back and watched the look of embarrassment tinted with desire on your face, just as she expected. "A pretty little slut." Wanda chirped in and your face went a shade darker, you avoided Natasha's gaze when she chuckled at the remark made by her girlfriend.

"Go wash up and come eat breakfast." Natasha patted your cheek, gently urging you to listen and you nodded quickly, anything to get you away from the duo. You went to dash out of the kitchen but before you could make even three proper steps, a hand grabbed the collar of the hoodie you were wearing, pulling you almost over the counter, you almost choked on your own saliva, "Forgetting something?" Wanda asked, one of her sculpted eyebrows raised in question and you felt timid under her strong gaze before leaning in and placing a kiss on her cheek, earning a pleased smile from her that left you giddy. "Good. Now shoo." Wanda let go and you made your way out to the washroom.

You would always greet Wanda with a kiss on her cheek in the morning, it was sort of a part of your routine now and as well as Wanda's and God forbid if someone messes with her routine. It was a moment of affection that was not frowned upon by neither her girlfriend nor her. Never allowed to touch those lips though, you weren't complaining either. You were fine with how things were between the three of you.

You were in your first year when you met them in the orientation programme. They were your seniors and after hanging out a few times, they offered to share their place with you when they learned that you were looking for a place to rent. Except they refused to take the rent as the place was owned by Natasha. Every month, it would take a whole lot of begging just to get them to take your share of the rent. It was a nice place. You had your own room. Your own space that they rarely invaded. You didn't exactly recall when you became a part of their arrangement, but it happened after a few months of you moving in with them.

+------------+

You walked back into the kitchen, Natasha was working on her laptop in front of Wanda, while she talked to her about some upcoming event in her department. For a moment you stayed in the doorway, not sure if Natasha was still annoyed at you. Wanda patted the stool next to her when she noticed your presence and you instantly made your way over there, your eyes fixated on the plate of pancakes in front of you.

You let out a groan, the first bite melting in your mouth and you couldn't help but do your little dance at the sight of the three more pancake stacked in your plate, you couldn't wait to devour them all. From the corner of your eye, you could see Wanda looking at you but your focus remained on the cakes, "This is really good." You told Natasha, never failing to complement her cooking and she gave you a soft smile before replying to Wanda's question. They were talking about the upcoming fests in the college, being part of various clubs they had been pretty busy. You didn't care much about it and focused on your breakfast.

You were putting some orange juice in your glass while taking a bite of the pancake but the jug bumped into the glass, not expecting the jug to be heavy and you watched as the glass started wobbling a little before falling in your lap. "Oh shoot." You panicked at the dark spot forming on the white hoodie, your eyes widen in fear when you realised that it belonged to none other than Natasha. Wanda instantly took the jug from your hand before you could make any more of a mess. "Y/N!" Wanda grabbed some tissues trying to soak up the spilled juice and you stood there in fear and it was proven right when Natasha's hand grabbed you by your ear harshly, "Didn't I tell you that you can't eat in my clothes?" Natasha asked, her eyes flaring with aggrevation and you winced closing your eyes both at the pain and as well as her expression.

"I-I would have worn something else but you woke me-"

"Oh so now it is my fault?" She twisted your ear a little more while simultaneously pulling you up along and you stood on your tippy toes to avoid the pain. "Answer her, silly." Wanda's words broke the silence as she threw the dirty tissues on the slab. "I should have made her clean it with her tongue." Natasha twisted your ear one last time before letting go of it with a push.

Your hand instantly shot up to rub the pain away with tears once again welling up in your eyes, the morning kept getting worse for you,"That would have definitely work with her." Wanda agreed as she swatted her hand away from your ear, giving you a pointed look which turned into a sadistic one as she took notice of the teary eyed look on your face. Things would take such fast turns whenever you were with them. One moment it would be peaceful and the next they would be pouncing on you about something.

"Off." Natasha gave out her command and you slowly fiddled with the hem of the hoodie, knowing very well that she would not even allow you the privilege of going to your room and changing. "Now." Wanda reinforced her order and your hands pushed the soft yet wet material off yourself, instantly goosebumps raising on your skin.

Natasha took the material from your hand, "You are not allowed to wear anything till Monday. You can stay like this only." She told you sternly and you opened your mouth to protest, "But I am sorry Natty, I really didn't mean to. I change out of it before breakfast everyday!" You whined at her declaration and gulped when the two of them raised one of their eyebrows at the same time.

They both sometimes subconsciously seem to mimic each other's action and you wanted anything but have the attention of the duo in a negative sense like that, any other day you would love to have them dotting on you.

"Don't you think your mouth is running a little too much today?" Wanda asked harshly, her hand grabbing your cheeks in a vice grip and you struggled to get out of her reach. "I-I am sorry!" You pleaded through your teary eyes and Wanda let go of your cheeks and moved onto your neck, "Apologise to her." She turned your head towards Natasha and you felt your cheeks reddened at the way you were getting treated. You didn't dare to complain about it, knowing that your ass was on line.

"I am sorry, Natasha..Please forgive me." You apologised hoping she would change her mind. She couldn't be serious about something like that but then again it wasn't the first time she had come up with something outrageous to punish you.

Natasha hummed in acknowledgement, you could tell she was still upset as she sighed, "Not until Monday. I don't want any whining from you. You don't deserve this privilege until you learn some etiquettes." She further added and you nodded quietly watching as she left the room to wash the clothing, leaving you alone with her strawberry blonde counterpart.

"It's you own fault." Wanda drawled after observing you from her position on the stool for a while and you wanted to snap at her and let her know that you already know but decided otherwise knowing she would jump at the opportunity to punish you some more.

"I know." You muttered successfully holding back the sass from your statement and Wanda stared at you for a few second, trying to figure out if you were being sassy or genuine. Her eyes ran down your body, deciding whether you were worthy enough for attention or not.

"You will catch a cold if you keep wearing this." Wanda's finger hooked onto the strap of your bra pulling it a little before letting it snap on your shoulder, making you wince at the sharp sting causing a satisfactory smile on her lips.

"It's not wet." You pushed her hand away a little harsher than necessary and Wanda instantly took notice of the fact. "Huh." She let out a scoff, probably at your audacity and you watched in shock as she picked up the almost empty glass of your orange juice and tipped it down on your chest. "What the..Wanda.." You tried pulling away but her other hand held in your place, halting your movement, all you could do was squirm at the feeling of the liquid dripping down your chest, your nipples hardening by the cold temperature of the liquid.

"Is it wet enough for you?" She asked over her shoulder as she turn to place the glass away, not wanting to risk another damage perhaps. "Off." The familiar order hit you again and you took a sharp inhale, feeling a wave of arousal mixed with fear hitting your senses at her tone.

You got a moment to yourself when Natasha came back in the kitchen, her eyes falling to your wet chest a little confused but one glance at Wanda whose eyes were clouded with lust, her own expression turned into a familiar one. "Do we need to repeat everything today?" Wanda asked, using her sharp nails to turn your face toward her. "You are really getting on my nerves, Detka."

When you realised that your pleading would only fall to deaf ears, you reached back with your hands to slowly unclasp your bra, your bare chest presented to their hungry gaze. "Much better.. isn't?" Wanda asked and you looked up at her, the feeling of humiliation turning your your cheeks a bright shade of red.

"It is." Natasha answered while, her gaze fixated on your bare chest. You reached forward to cover your body but she grabbed your hands and pulled you closer, your upper half colliding with her covered body but you made sure to not stay touching with her not wanting to ruin any more of her clothes and face her wrath, although a part of you wanted to move closer to the warmth of her body.

You started into Natasha's eyes when you suddenly felt Wanda behind you, effectively trapping you between the duo. You felt much smaller next to them especially when you had literally no clothes on compared to them. "Let me go." You whispered softly but Natasha chose to ignore it as she leaned forward a bit, "Do you really want that?" She asked, her finger lightly tracing down your cheek to jaw which you immediately clenched when Wanda's hand cupped your breast, softly squeezing the flesh.

When Natasha started leaning in more, you closed your eyes thinking she was going to kiss you but it never occurred as she kissed Wanda whose head was next to you and you didn't understand the unfamiliar emotion that hit you. Of course she wasn't going to kiss you. They have never kissed you. Before you could ponder more on the thought, it vanished the moment Wanda pinched your nipple and you let out a whimper which was covered by Wanda's moan to Natasha's kiss.

Natasha's hand grabbed you by your hip to turn you around while she continued kissing Wanda, the sight had you mesmerized to even care about how they were again manhandling their way around you. Now you were looking up at Wanda who had her eyes closed as Natasha devoured her lips. You shuddered at the chill going up your spine. Natasha's hand started playing with your chest. "N-Nat.." You moaned softly only for it to become a whimper when she squeezed your hardened nub.

"Shh." Wanda pushed her finger on your lips, quietening you as Natasha moved to her neck. It made you feel small. Insignificant in their whole dynamic but once again you hardly had time to process the emotion as Natasha pushed Wanda back on the stool to sit. Her whole neck was covered with bite marks. Some of them were freshly made by Natasha while others were fading away,   You have never seen Wanda without them. Natasha had always been on the rougher side between the two of them. More territorial.

It reminded you of the time when you had accidentally in your lust bitten Wanda too hard, creating a similar mark which Natasha hadn't appreciated at all. All week Natasha had been so rough with you, Wanda had also notice that and took special care of you that week. It was perhaps the first time you had witnessed the softer side of Wanda, maybe that was the reason you had more of an inclination toward her than Natasha.

"Gorgeous.. isn't she?" Natasha whispered in your ear, one of her hand placed on your neck, her fingers holding your head in place to look at Wanda. Her other arm was wrapped around your waist, completely trapping you against her warm body.

You slowly nodded your head as much as her hold allowed it. Wanda's cheeks were flushed, she was staring into Natasha's eyes and you felt as if you were a mere spectator of the show rather than a part. "Why don't we put that tongue to a better use? Huh?" Natasha asked or more like stated and before you could even make up your mind, she pushed you down on your knees in front of Wanda, putting your hand on Wanda's shorts before moving her hands to her body.

You looked up at Wanda for permission and she raised her hips, letting you slide the material down her smooth thighs, you abandoned the clothing and ran your hand up her calves to her thigh that convulsed under the touch. Wanda instantly moved her hand into your hair, her grip tight, tugging on your roots. You started at her for a moment and the realisation of how stunning she was hit you again. She was an epitome of elegance despite of being in such provacating position, she still held the gracefulness of a Queen.

"Play nicely." Natasha whispered to her and her grip eased at little and you were glad for it, no way you could please her with her tight hold on you. She placed her foot on your shoulder and your eyes met her, you knew what she wanted and never the one to deny her , you started placing kisses up her calf muscles, slowly sucking the skin while making sure to not leave a single mark for Natasha to find out later, you moved upward, worshipping every inch of her just as she desired.

You finally came close to her wet center, the sight had you dripping in your own panties. You slowly started placing kisses on her inner thigh and around her pussy but never where she needed you the most. Wanda's nail dug into your scalp and you winced at the pain, you could feel Natasha's leg on your back as she went closer to Wanda effectively muffling her whine with her lips. You would have teased her a bit more but Natasha's hand forced your head in and the last thing you wanted was to piss her off some more.

You parted Wanda's thighs a bit more and licked your way up her folds and was rewarded with more of juice that gushed out of her, groaning in pleasure when you heard her let out a muffled moan of your name, you placed your lips on the bundle of nerves where she needed you and started toying with it. Your teeth lightly grazing it before sucking. Her thighs started convulsing and you moved two of your fingers to her entrance, slowly sliding them in, the wetness allowing you in with ease. You started moving you fingers while your tongue moved around clit, sucking and nibbling here and there just how you learned it from her girlfriend.

It wasn't long until Wanda had your head crushed between her thighs as you pushed her over the edge, while she used your face to ride out her orgasm pulling Natasha in for another kiss, wrapping her arms around the redhead's neck, she hardly cared about the pain when she bit her lip, it only seemed to enhance her high. "N-Natasha.." She gasped for air when her girlfriend pulled away.

You could finally breathe when Wanda let go of you, your cheeks and mouth was covered in her juices and you licked your lip, slowly tasting her, it made you thirsty for more before you could lean in again to satisfy your thirst, Natasha's hand curled around your hair pulling you back up on your feet. "Let me have a taste as well." You assumed that she would be going down on Wanda again but what she did was unexpected for you as well as Wanda who was staring at you.

Natasha pulled you up to her lips with her hand that was still in your hair and you instantly got on your toes to ease the pain, her tongue licking her way from your jaw to your mouth before finally placing her lips on yours. Your eyes widen and you let out a small gasp that was enough for Natasha to slide her tongue in, you hardly knew what was happening before she pulled away with a satisfied smirk playing on her lips.

"So heavenly." She turned to look at Wanda whose face was still flushed but held an emotion you couldn't separate from the lust on her face. "Why don't we take it back upstairs?" Wanda asked, her breathing and her both in control now. She glanced over at you, a predatory smile falling on her luscious lips at your still surprised look, clouded with arousal.

"I thought you wouldn't ask after the number she did on you." Natasha stared into your eyes while her hand that held your neck moved to your jaw, her thumb tracing your lips that were swollen from her biting before sliding it in your mouth. You wrapped your lips around it, your tongue playing around her thumb as she pushed it deeper. You allowed her. Anything to get back on her good list.

"Why don't you care more about what I am going to do with you than what she has done on me?" Wanda asked in a sultry tone as she gracefully got off the stool and out of her shorts, her tshirt coming down to her mid thighs covering her up. Natasha's thumb stopped pushing in and she let out a raspy laugh, turning slightly to look at Wanda.

"Oh really?"

"Really." Wanda traced her fingers up Natasha's arm. "We can just throw a vibe in her and see how long she can last.. while we talk 'business'?" Wanda suggested and you whimpered around the thumb in your mouth at the thought. Business. That was what they used to tell you when they would spend the whole day in their bedroom. That was before, when you weren't a part of their little game.

"Sounds perfect. Doesn't it Y/N/N?" They both chuckled when you shook your head at Natasha's question to you as if your opinion mattered to them. As if it has ever mattered to them. "How cute." Wanda removed Natasha's hand from your mouth and she slowly traced her fingers down your hair, pushing them forward, the hair strands touched your sensitive nipples.

"Do you think I have forgotten about the little tease you were being earlier?" She asked while a faux sweet smile remained on her lips and you gulped softly, shaking your head 'no' when she raised an eyebrow and she gave you a full smile, patting your cheek not so gently but each touch only seemed to fuel the fire within you. "Good-" She was about to say something when Natasha cut her off with a glint in her eyes that sent a shiver down your spine.

"I have a better idea."

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To be continued.

Hope you all loved it! I would love to hear your thoughts and will really appreciate it if you reblog and support me! <3

[toxicanonymity]

Silence can never be bought, only rented

Part 1 of 6, 1.3k | dbf!Joel x f!eader | NSFW 18+

Next: PART 2 / Story Master List

SUMMARY: You come home from campus one weekend and catch your dad’s friend Joel in bed with your stepmother. 

WARNINGS: I8+ Joel PiV w/ someone else (before you're involved at all). Accidental voyeurism, exhibitionism by opportunity. Joel mentally cucks her w/ you.

It’s dark, but you still catch quite an eyeful when you approach the bedroom and the door is wide open.  They’re doing it doggy style on the bed,  facing the window.  In full view of the door.  Joel is buck naked.  He’s always been burly, but you still didn’t quite imagine what was under his flannels all these years.   He scowls and grunts as his massive hands hold onto her hips and his pale asscheeks flex powerfully.  

Your dad is leading a special military training exercise in an undisclosed location.  He always tells you to call Joel if you need anything while he’s away.  He knows how you feel about your stepmom.  She’s only 10 years older than you and got together with your dad when she was your age.  Your dad is no angel, but you’re protective of him, and you’ve had your suspicions about his young bride.   So when you come home that night and Joel’s truck is in the driveway, you deliberately park in front of the neighbor’s yard and enter your house very quietly.  Luckily for you, Joel’s hearing is bad, but you sneak around anyway. You can hear the mattress and the slap of skin down the hall.  Then, your stepmother makes the porniest moan, making you gag. 

When your shadow slowly approaches in the moonlight, he looks toward the bedroom door and does a double take.   You flash your eyebrows but don’t make a peep.   And when he sees you, he doesn’t stop.  He keeps railing her.   He slows down, and she whines.  

Then, he makes eye contact with you, looks you up and down, and starts fucking her harder.  God, what a pervert.   Not to be intimidated, you stand there and watch him finish.  You lean against the doorframe, crossing your arms and ankles, taking in every detail.  At least he’s wearing a rubber.   Before he comes, he pulls almost all the way out and looks down at himself, then back up at you, almost like he wants you to know he’s hung.  He slams her back on his cock with a grunt and she moans as he empties his balls, his eyes still locked on yours.  

-

You slink outside and sit in your car for a minute, thinking.  You park in front of your house as if you’re just arriving.  You leave a note on Joel’s truck, then come in through the front door, noisily.  

Then you call, “Uncle Joel? Are you here?”  You smile to yourself and wait.  You never call him that, but it’s how your dad always used to refer to him.  Then you add, “I thought you were gonna meet me there. . .”

“Just a sec,” he yells. 

You overhear your stepmom ask him, “You were going to what?” 

Joel says something inaudible. 

“Meet her where?”

Oh, this is going to be fun.  You grab a drink from the fridge and sit down at the kitchen table while they both come downstairs.  You greet him with a kiss on the cheek.  

“The toilet upstairs wasn’t working,” your stepmom says, still disheveled and proud of her lie.  

You nod and smile. “Yeah, Dad warned me,” you lie.  She seems to think she lucked out with a coincidence.  She’s that dumb.  

“Are you done?” you ask Joel. 

“Uh,” he pauses in thought. 

“Fixing the toilet,” you say.  

“Yeah, good to go,” he says with a glance toward her. 

“Thanks,” you beam.  “Dad will be happy.”   

You get up and give him a big hug, then hold eye contact as you break away.  

Your stepmom looks back and forth between the two of you.  

“Shall we?” you ask him.  

“Um, yeah,” he shoves his hands in his pockets and looks at her nervously as he grabs his keys from the key hook.  “Let me know if it gives you any more trouble,” he says to her.   She looks so pissed, you have to suppress your smirk.  

You need to think this over.  You aren’t ready to talk to Joel.  On your way out, you text your high school friend about staying at her place for the night since you already drove all the way here.  

-

Joel jogs to your car to catch up with you.  His cheeks are still flushed.  

“Where are we going?” he asks stupidly. 

You laugh. 

“Don’t you wanna talk?” he adds, hovering near your driver’s side door as you unlock it.   He looks somewhere between annoyed and bemused, which pisses you off. He should be afraid for you to tell your dad.  

You close your door, stand against the car, and grab both sides of his unbuttoned flannel shirt, assuming your stepmom is still watching.  You pull him into you, then wrap your arms around his waist until you feel him harden against your jeans and he inhales your hair deeply, sending a warm rush to your core.  

Then, you put your arms around his neck, and his hands loosely graze your waist. 

You say softly in his ear, “Go home, Joel.” 

You get in your car and look up at the house just in time to see your stepmom’s silhouette retreat from the front window. 

Joel runs his hands through his hair and walks to his truck.  

He takes your note off the window and opens it: You’re sick.   

-

You go to your friend’s house and watch horror movies.  She goes to community college and lives in her parents’ basement.  She’s so happy to see you, she wishes you would come home more.  You can stay with her any time.  

Joel calls you and you send it to voicemail.  He texts you, too.  He says he’s done with her, doesn’t care, that he’ll break it off tomorrow.  You don’t answer.  

You have a lot of thoughts and feelings, but you keep coming back to the hardness in his jeans pressing against you.  You don’t want to think about it.  He’s been fucking your stepmother and that’s gross.  You try to put it out of your mind, but the feeling stays between your legs.  You pinch your eyes shut and shake your head, you just see his eyes roving you hungrily as he fucks her.  Sick.  Really sick.  And yet, your panties are so moist.

-

You decide to go back home the next day to see if you can tell whether Joel has really broken it off.  Your stepmother says it’s such a nice surprise to see you.  You skeptically ask why it’s a surprise, since she knows you’re in town.  She shrugs and asks if you want something to eat.  She’s looking at you differently.  She keeps looking at you up and down.  

You return the look and ask, “What?”

She asks if you had a nice time last night. 

“Yeah, we did . . . did you?” 

She smiles and nods,  “Yeah.” 

She mentions the toilet is acting up again and you silently seethe. He not only hasn’t broken it off, but he’s coming over?  There’s almost something smug about the way she says it, too.  You offer to look at the toilet yourself.  She says Joel is already on his way. 

His truck pulls up, then your phone dings.

Joel:  Wanna give us some privacy?

You:  I dunno, what are you gonna do with it? 

Joel: I told you, I’m ending it.  

You: Ever heard of a phone call? 

Your phone keeps dinging and you ignore it.  

“That must be him,” she says.  She calls him and asks him if he’s there.  

He comes in and looks salty.  She takes his jacket.  

“Actually, I’m gonna borrow this,” you say on impulse and grab it from her on your way out.  “I’ll give it back later,” you tell him, looking over your shoulder. 

Why does he wear his jeans so tight, you wonder.  

You text him from your car, “I’m not leaving the neighborhood,” but then you do. You go back to your friend’s house.  

He calls you 15 minutes later and you ignore it.  He texts you, and you ignore it.  You let him squirm.

You decide you'll keep his jacket and take it back to campus with you.

-

PART 2

master list

[shadesslut]

a father’s malice, pt. 2

Pairing: (Ex-Gf!Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader)

Content Includes: (Slight angst, fluff)

Summary: Ethan persuades Y/N to let him bond with Ollie.

part 1 part 2

(a/n: I didn't proof read sowwy)

✮

✮

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Two days. It had been two days since Ethan had shown back up into their lives. The only times Y/N would see him was when she left and returned to her apartment. He was always in the lobby, on the same bench, doing the same thing. Every time she saw him, he was passed out, but that was probably for the best. 

Chad wasn’t doing so well. He had isolated himself in his room for the most part, barely coming out. He swore to Y/N that he was fine and not to worry about him, but she could hear him softly cry every night. He had lost his best friend too, and she kept forgetting that. Ollie helped them out; him being the light of their lives. They had to stick it out, for Ollie.

The rest of the group wasn’t fond of the idea of Chad and Y/N continuing to stay at their apartment, but Y/N convinced them by arranging a plan. Every other night, Sam and Danny would sleep at theirs. Tonight was the first night of this plan.

Danny was taking out the sofa-bed, and Sam sat at the kitchen table with Y/N.

“So, did you…see him?” Y/N quietly asked, bouncing Ollie on her knee. Sam sighed, giving her a solemn smile. She nodded, which led to Y/N looking away. 

“Does he sleep there all the time?” She asked. 

Y/N nodded. “Yeah,” 

Chad was looking over to the two girls whilst they talked quietly. He reached over for the fridge handle and opened it, grabbing a beer. “Can you grab me one?” Danny asked, appearing next to Chad. Chad smiled, grabbing another bottle before handing it to him. “You wanna go outside?”

“Uh…” Chad trailed off, turning his head back to the girls. “Sure.”

Chad didn’t really bond that much with Danny after last year as much as the girls did. He was so used to being the only guy the girls needed, and it felt hard to let Danny in. The two sat outside on the porch, sipping on their beers, staring out at the soft glow of the city lights. 

“How are you?” Danny broke the silence, turning his head towards Chad. Chad sighed and only shrugged in response, still staring off into the city. Danny looked back through the open porch doors. Sam and Y/N’s laughs echoed throughout the apartment, causing Danny to smile. 

“I’m gonna ask Sam to marry me.” 

Chad choked on his drink, spitting out the beer. He doubled over and wiped his mouth. Danny lightly chuckled nervously at him. “Oh! Really?” Chad spewed out.

“Yeah, I wanted to ask you.” Danny admitted. 

“‘Ask me’?” Chad reiterated with confusion. 

“I mean, her dad is, you know, and I know how much you care for her. So, I thought I should ask you.” Danny smiled. Chad only muttered a little, You can do whatever you want, and Danny only nodded, slightly disappointed. He hung his head low, staring into the opening of his beer bottle as he swung the liquid around. 

Chad sighed, and he reached over the pat Danny on the back. “I think you should, she really loves you.” He reassured, making Danny smile again while he thanked him. “About before,” Chad trailed off.

“Yeah?” Danny asked softly, trying desperately to let Chad know he could talk to him. 

“I’m…not okay. It’s hard.” He huffed. Danny nodded supportingly. 

“It just feels weird. Feels like he’s my kid, you know? And already it’s a weird situation, but now his fucking serial killer of a father is back, and I have no idea what I’m feeling.” 

“I get it,” Danny comforted. 

“And he was my best friend. I told him everything. I actually thought,” he sighed. “I thought he cared about me.”

Danny sighed, understanding Chad’s dilemma. Chad rubbed the back of his neck, and he looked back to Y/N and Ollie. All of his worry washed away. Ollie was giggling in Sam’s lap, reaching out for the bottle Sam was holding, and Y/N was smiling happily at him. Chad softly smiled and looked back at Danny. 

“I think I’ll be okay,”

Back in the kitchen, Ollie blissfully sucked on his bottle. “Ah shit,” Y/N cursed, looking at her phone. 

“What?” Sam asked, still holding Ollie. 

Y/N groaned as she rubbed her temple. “I forgot to drop off our rent money today.” 

“Here, I’ll go drop it off,” Sam offered, but Y/N protested. 

“No, it’s okay. Ollie gets fussy when you move him when he eats. I’ll be right back,” 

Drop the money in the dropbox and immediately go back was her plan. She had hoped Ethan wasn’t there, but her breaths became shallow when she saw the curly head of hair peacefully sleeping on the bench. Her breath hitched, and she quietly walked to the dropbox. Flapping the slot closed, she jumped when she turned around, running into Ethan’s chest.

“S-Sorry-” He stuttered, immediately backing up. He held his hands up in defense, and his shoulders were slouched. 

She only nodded before walking off. He called her name, and she shakily stopped as she turned.

“Can we talk?” He asked in a small voice. 

She sighed, knowing this was coming. “Sure,”

He softly smiled and stepped closer to her. 

“From a distance,” she stated. He nodded and rubbed his palms against his jeans. He still wore the same outfit as before, and his musk was starting to become foul. “When was the last time you showered?” 

“I don’t have anywhere to go, Y/N. No home, no money.” Her mouth opened in an ‘o’. She never thought about that aspect; all of Ethan’s family was dead, so he really didn’t have anyone to go to. She almost felt bad for him, but then she thought of all the pain he and his family caused.  “C-Can I please, please, stay with you for a few nights? I-I can sleep on the floor, you can lock me in the bathroom or something-”

“Ethan,” She sighed, interrupting him.

“Please, Y/N? I swear to god, I won’t do anything.” 

She huffed, looking Ethan up and down. A part of her wanted to let him, let him back into her life, into Ollie’s life. She missed him, she wanted Ethan to be with her. She knew Ethan would be a good father to Ollie. But that was the old Ethan. She knew nothing about this Ethan that stood in front of her. 

–

The door shut quietly as the two stepped in. Danny and Chad had retired to the living room, watching the TV and listening to the quiet noises of whatever game they watched. They both smiled towards the door at the sound of it closing, but bewildered expressions took over once they saw Ethan. Danny spit out his drink, and Chad immediately stood up. 

“Y/N?” Chad asked rhetorically through gritted teeth. 

“Chad, it’s fine, I’m letting him stay.”

Sam now appeared in the living room, still holding Ollie. She looked between Ethan and Y/N with a confused and hurt look. “You’re letting him stay?”

Y/N looked at her with worry. “Sam, please understand,”

“After everything he did to us. After what he did to Anika?” 

Y/N winced as she looked away. She didn’t say anything, Sam was right, and Y/N knew it. Sam only scoffed, and then glared at Ethan. She handed Ollie to Chad, which made Ethan’s blood boil. Sam urged Danny to leave with her, which he obeyed. 

“Sam-“ Y/N said once more, just as Sam slammed the door shut. 

Ethan’s eyes roamed over to Ollie, trying his hardest to ignore Chad’s gaze. “I’m sorry,” Ethan said, breaking the silence. 

“What?” Chad asked. 

“For, uh, stabbing you.”

Chad exhaled deeply through his flared nostrils, and Ethan shifted awkwardly on his feet. “Okay, um, Ethan you can sleep on the couch.” Y/N started before Chad could say anything. 

She took Ollie out of Chad’s arms, and he yawned, resting his head on her shoulder. Ethan’s heart swooned, and he softly smiled at him. 

“I’m sleeping with you.” Chad told Y/N, still staring at Ethan. 

“Okay…can you grab the spare pillow and blankets?” Y/N asked him softly. He nodded and walked off. 

“Can I hold him?” Ethan asked, smiling at Ollie. 

“Oh, uhm. I don't know if I’m comfortable with that yet.” She admitted, adjusting Ollie on her hip. 

Ethan nodded, tilting his head to get a better look at him. He felt as if he was looking at a younger version of himself; an innocent version of himself. He would do anything to make sure Ollie didn’t end up like him. 

“That’s okay.” 

Chad returned with a blanket and a lumpy pillow in his hands. He threw it on the couch as he stood next to Y/N, slightly covering Ollie. “Okay, you have your stuff. Goodnight.” 

After Ethan got situated, Chad helped Y/N put Ollie down. 

“You got something you wanna tell me?” Chad whispered, sitting on the edge of her bed. 

“What do you mean?” She asked. 

He raised his eyebrows in disbelief. “So what, you just randomly decided to let him stay? What, have you two talked recently?”

“What? Chad you can’t be serious,” 

He only sighed, rubbing his temple. He laid down, lifting his knee up. 

“Today was the first time I talked to him since,” 

He didn’t believe her, but he dropped the subject. He only whispered a soft goodnight before drifting off to sleep, facing his back to her. She sighed, getting up and sneaking into the living room. 

Ethan was still awake, and he sat up upon hearing Y/N’s footsteps. 

“H-Hey,”

She ignored him, and she sat down on the floor in front of the couch. 

“I’m really sorry for what I did. I never wanted to hurt you.” Ethan apologized sincerely. 

She looked up at him. Her eyes watered as she reminisced. “But you did, you hurt all of us.” He looked away sadly. Now it was his turn for eyes to water.  

“None of what happened between us was fake, I did love you. I still do,” Ethan said softly. 

She only sniffed in response, turning her face away as he reached out to touch her cheek. 

“He looks like me.” Ethan stated, dryly chuckling. Y/N nodded as she smiled sadly. “I wanna be in your life, and in his, what’s his name again?” 

“Oliver, and I don’t know Eth. I have to think about it,” she answered. Ethan nodded, not saying anything else. They sat in an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes, both quietly crying. 

“I don’t want him to end up like me.” Ethan’s voice cracked as he admitted his fear. 

“He’s not,” 

Ethan cut her off. “Please don’t let him end up like me. He can’t. I don’t want him to be scared of me either. I wouldn’t hurt him, never.” 

“I know, Ethan,” she comforted him, grabbing his forearm. 

“The way you looked at me, I would break if he ever looked at me that way you did.”

He rested his head on her hand, holding her wrist as his tears stained her sleeve. Her heart broke at the sight of him. She almost forgot about the unspeakable things he had committed. She didn’t look at him like he was Ghostface, but like he was Ethan. Her Ethan. She hated herself for wanting Ethan in Ollie’s life, to toss Chad out like he hadn’t been there since the beginning. 

“You can go with us tomorrow, I have to get some stuff for him.” She offered. 

He nodded, wiping his tears. “Thank you,” 

He continued to hold onto her arm, breathing heavily as he calmed himself down. She didn’t know how she was going to deal with Chad about the next day, but she expected nothing but resentment from him. Hell, resentment from the whole group. She already had felt it from Sam. But, she was secretly happy. Happy that Ethan told her he loved her, even if it was in his own sick and twisted version of love. She was happy, for the first time in a year. She just needed to protect Ollie; how hard would that be? 

—

It was a very awkward walk to the store. Y/N pushed Ollie in his little stroller, Chad walking next to her, and Ethan on her other side. Ethan wanted to carry the baby bag, but Chad insisted he carry it. Ethan secretly hated how Chad acted like a father figure to Ollie. He was his after all. 

Chad opened the door for her, and then Ethan. Y/N softly muttered something as she looked at the small piece of paper in her hands. Chad stood next to her, looking over her shoulder. 

“What all do you need?” Ethan asked her. 

Chad glanced up at him in silence. Ethan had hoped Chad’s states would fade as time went on. “Uhm, we need to get those puffs he likes. Also he needs a new sweater, cause someone stretched out his old one,” she pointed her eyes at Chad. 

“How was I supposed to know you can’t put it in the dryer?” 

She shook her head, smiling. “How about Chad and I get the puffs while you get the sweater?” Ethan suggested. The other two looked at him blankly. 

“That’s fine with…me,” Y/N trailed off, looking towards Chad. He scoffed and shrugged his shoulders. 

“Fine.” He said before leading Ethan down an aisle. 

Chad’s eyes wandered over the shelves while Ethan played with the zipper on his jacket. Truth be told, even though Ethan resented Chad for his role in Ollie’s life, he missed him. He was his only friend after all. He missed their late nights when they talked about girls and played video games. 

“Chad?” Ethan asked softly. 

Chad only grunted in response, reaching for a can on the shelf. “I know what I did, unforgivable, but I really am sorry. Deep down I didn’t want to do it,” 

“Then why’d you do it?” Chad asked in a monotone voice. 

“I wanted to make my father proud, I guess. I did care about you guys.” Ethan admitted. 

Chad finally looked at him, for the first time without anger, only hurt. “You were my best friend,” 

“I know,” Ethan swallowed. 

“I told you everything about me. I cried with you,” 

“I know,” 

Chad ran his hand on the side of his face, trying desperately not to cry. “You were my best friend too.” Ethan said. 

Chad laughed dryly. He didn’t feel like the man he was now, he felt small like the boy he was when he first got stabbed. It hurt, literally and mentally, when he found out Ethan had stabbed him, but right now hurt more. 

“I don’t know what I have to do to earn your trust again, but I’m gonna do it. I miss you,” Ethan’s voice slightly cracked as he placed his hand on Chad’s shoulder. Chad didn’t trust him still, but he nodded as a tear rolled down his cheek. A part of him believed him though, believed that the nerdy boy he befriended was still in there.  

“I miss you too,” Chad responded sadly. 

The sounds of Ollie’s giggles made both boys’ heads turn. 

“You find it?” Y/N asked, pushing the stroller with one hand, holding Ollie in the other. Ethan rushed to take a hold of the stroller. 

Chad paid at the counter, and Y/N looked over at Ethan. His hands fiddled with the handle of the stroller, and Y/N softly smiled. “You wanna hold him?” She asked softly. Ethan jerked his head towards her. 

“Are you sure?” He asked, carefully. 

She nodded, and she lifted Ollie to pass him to Ethan’s hands. Ethan gently held him, resting him on his right hip. He wrapped an arm around Ollie’s back, and his other hand was steady on his side. Ollie looked confused, pursing his bottom lip as he furrowed his brows at Ethan. 

Ethan smiled and let out a choked laugh. “Chad, look,” Ethan said, proudly showing Chad. Chad only fake-smiled, and returned his attention to the cashier. Ollie continued to judge Ethan. He let out a high-pitched “Mph!” before reaching out for Chad. 

“It’s okay,” Y/N comforted Ethan by placing a hand on his shoulder as Chad took Ollie into his arms. “He just has to get used to you.” 

Ethan nodded sadly, watching as Ollie’s demeanor changed with Chad. Chad carried him all the way home, with Ethan skulking behind him. He watched Ollie as he slept peacefully on Y/N’s chest. She was sprawled out on the couch, and Ethan had just gotten out of a shower. His head leaned against the cushion as he admired both of their features. 

“Y/N,” He spoke softly, as to avoid waking up Ollie. She hummed in response, slightly turning her head towards Ethan. “Anything you want, I’m gonna give it to you.” 

“You don’t have to-”

“Yes I do. I have to give you everything, Chad too. I owe it to you guys.” Ethan cut her off. She didn’t respond. She moved a few curls out of Ollie’s face. “I love you guys.”

“We love you too.” 

He scoffed. “I think Chad hates my guts.”

She sighed, readjusting Ollie onto her lower stomach. “He doesn’t hate you. He hates what you did, yeah, but I know he misses you. You were his closest friend since,” She trailed off, not wanting to mention Wes.

“Yeah, I know.” Ethan stated. “But the others,” 

“Oh, they hate your guts.” She said, slightly laughing nervously. He nodded, giving her a faux smile. He reached over for her hand, and she let him. They both smiled at each other, and a part of Y/N felt guilty for forgiving him so fast. She didn’t fret about it for too long. Ethan hesitantly grabbed Ollie’s small hand, letting Ollie sleepily squeeze his fingers around two of Ethan’s fingers. 

“See,” Y/N whispered, watching. “He just has to warm up to you.” 

Ethan smiled, still looking at Ollie. His mouth was open, and drool was pooling on her shirt from her mouth. Still, he looked perfect. No, Ollie would never end up like Ethan, and Ethan knew that now. “By the way he loves sharks,” Y/N added.

He laughed, and kissed Ollie on the top of his forehead. “Noted.”

(Taglist: @onlyreadz, @lloyd907, @hearts4meeks, @emitaylorsverson, @depressedseaweed, @athenalive, @b3bybunny, @aliciacat20, @whoaitsbibi, @fallinforhappiness, @dabbin22, @leyla-1905,)

[imtryingbuck]

Eighteen part two

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: Bucky comes from a well respected family, he falls in love with a girl who prefers the simple things in life. Follow their journey through the years.

Word count: 2,240

Warnings: fluff, angst, heavy use of pet names.

A/N: No description of reader other than she has curly hair.

A/N pt 2: when I saw the duck tattoo I screamed, no joke I screamed! Make sure you have a look it’s so bloody cute!

Masterlist   Series Masterlist

They spent the rest of the night and early hours of the morning apologising, promising to make up for their mistakes. All three guys crying when she told them how much they had broken her heart, the guilt still there front row and centre but she promised them that it was all forgiven.

Steve and Sam had begged for forgiveness for not being there for her but she reassured them that all was forgiven, that it was time to move on.

Even though all three of them had hurt her and they hadn’t done anything to help her when she needed at least one of them the most, she had forgiven them. She missed them more than anything, they were the other part of her fractured soul.

She didn’t want to hold any grudges against them.

For a whole month Y/n caught up with her boys, caused mayhem just as they did a few years ago.

It was as if nothing had changed.

They didn’t understand what was happening when they showed up to Howard’s and Maria’s house to take Y/n out for the day when she opened the door where they could see two suitcases by her side.

“Bun? You’re leaving again?”

“Yeah only for two months, going to travel with Nat and Wanda. Isn’t that so exciting?” She smiles.

“Yeah, yeah how come you didn’t tell us?”

“I was a bit busy catching up with you guys…”

“Is it going to be just you three?”

“No Pietro, Clint and Vis are coming too”

“Who’s Clint and Vis?”

“Clint’s Natasha’s boyfriend and Vis is Wanda’s”

“Will you be coming back?” Steve asked.

“Yeah of course, then I’ll start my new job. I can’t wait”

“What job?”

“You know Mr Stan? Well he’s given me a job as his accountant”

“I’m so proud of you Bun”

“Thanks Duck-“

“Y/n come on love we’ve got to go” Maria interrupts as she checks over the plane ticket and double checking that Y/n had enough money.

“Okay momma, give me a hug then boys”

For the two next two months Bucky was out of his mind. He wouldn’t sit still for long periods at a time. He had gotten a taste of the happiness he had for years, went without for three years and then he got it back just for it to leave with Y/n once again.

“Buck she’ll be home in a few days”

“It’s been too long man”

“Are you going to tell her?” Sam asks.

“Tell her what?”

“That you’re madly, hopelessly in love with her?” 

“No I’m not!”

“Yeah right and I’m Captain America” Steve snorted from the kitchen.

“I’m not in love with Bunny. And plus she’s got a boyfriend and I’m seeing…shit what’s her name?”

Sam burst out laughing, nearly sliding off the chair and Steve shook his head “Lily, Bucky her names Lily”

“Yeah I’m seeing Lily”

“How’s that going Buck?” Sam says as he calms down.

“Great, it’s going great”

“Bullshit she told Sarah that when you two fucked you kept calling her Y/n.”

“No he didn’t!” Steve gasped. Between me and you he already knew.

“Yeah and it’s pretty much the same with every girl he’s slept with, he calls them Y/n’s name” okay Steve hadn’t heard that before.

“Fuck off man, it’s not been with all of them” Bucky weakly tries to defend himself, again just between me and you what he just said was a big fat lie.

“L to the I to the A right down to the R, guess what that spells Buck… liar.”

“Shut up.”

“Oh and plus you have a bunny tattoo on your chest” It was true. On Bucky’s eighteenth birthday he went to the tattoo studio to get his first ever tattoo, he saw it in the book as he flipped through it halting his movements as he saw the cute bunny. It was a lot smaller but he asked the tattooist if he could have it bigger which the guy said yeah, Bucky had him also add the small love heart.

Over the year he got a few more added to his body but his bunny that sat just over his heart was his favourite of them all.

“Don’t mean I’m in love with her”

“Yes. Yes it does.”

“No. No it doesn’t.”

“Steve help me out here man” Sam begs.

“I’m not getting involved. But Bucky your in love with Y/n/n”

Groaning Bucky stands up “fuck you both I’m going out to see Lucy”

“Lily!”

“Yeah her, bye”

“I’m sorry Y/n” Pietro says wiping her tears.

“No it’s okay, I understand honestly”

“I just don’t want to hurt you baby”

“I know Pieface just don’t die please and please be safe”

Laughing sadly at the nickname she had given him he nods with a promise that he’ll be safe.

“I do love you Y/n/n”

“I love you too Pietro”

Giving one final long hug they separate from one another, she watches as he walks through the doors to the airport wiping her fallen tears she smiles and waves at him as he looks back at her, giggles fall from her lips as he pulls a funny face to her.

“Won’t you be able to see him in a few months?” Wanda asks softly.

Shaking her head Y/n shrugs “h-he broke up with me”

“You what?”

“Yeah, he said he doesn’t want to hold me back and wants me to live my life whilst he’s away”

Pietro had told her a few weeks before coming back home that he signed up for the Army and had been accepted. Though he did love her he didn’t want her staying at home worrying about him, he wanted her to experience life and who knows when he got back they could rekindle their relationship, though Pietro knew it was unlikely. He knew that Y/n loved him but he also knew that she was in love with Bucky, and for him there was no way he was going to get in the way of her happiness even if that wasn’t with him and to be truthful he was okay with it.

“Y/n/n I’m sorry”

“Don’t be, it’s fine honestly. Let’s go home I’m missing my bed.”

“I still can’t believe you’re not coming to college with us” Nat says as she pulls on her seatbelt yanking it a little to hard when it gets stuck.

“I know but it’s just not for me you know”

“It’s not going to be the same” Wanda says.

“I guess but you two can’t get another me to add in to your friendship group or I’ll cry”

“Definitely not happening, if another female tries to be our friend we’ll kick them” Nat says seriously.

“Don’t kick them Jesus that’s a bit harsh, just say “no you can’t be our friend because we already have the bestest one” but please don’t kick them”

“I’m kicking them”

Saying her goodbyes as she’s dropped off at home her eyes start to sting with the amount of tears she’s cried. They all promise that they’ll meet up as soon as they can.

As she tells her parents of her adventures and shows them all the photos she had taken, she hands them their gifts.

“You didn’t have to get us anything angel” Howard says loving the pyramid paperweight she had gotten him.

“Alright I’ll take them back”

“Touch it and I’ll bite you”

Gasping she looks at her mom “momma did you just hear what he said?”

“I did sweetie but I have to agree your not taking these back” admiring the snow globe she had gotten, already knowing exactly where it was going, adding it to the collection she had been collecting since she was twenty.

“Where’s Antonio?”

“I’ve told you time and time again not to call me that, hey baby sis” hugging his sister he checks the bag for his gift.

“It’s not in there Tone, it’s outside”

“What have you gotten me?”

“A car”

“Holy shit! Really? I knew there was a reason why I kept you around”

“Yep come on” Her, Tony, Howard and Maria make their way outside.

“Whe-what the hell is this Y/n?”

“A car” she laughs along with her parents as Tony picks up a toy car off the ground. “I brought you a car”

“You’re such a little shit!” He laughs along. “Oh nice new tat”

“Cheers”

“You got another one?” Maria asks wanting to see it.

“Yeah it’s a turtle his names Sid, isn’t he cute?”

“Sid?” Howard questions.

“Yeah, we went to a sea life centre and we got to meet Sid the turtle, so naturally I had to add him to the collection”

“Obviously” Tony rolls his eyes.

“Anyway I’m going to go to the boy’s apartment and give them their gifts see you later”

“Be careful!” Maria calls out.

Panting as she knocks on the door she nearly collapses into Sam’s arms when he opens the door.

“Jesus Y/n, Holy shit guys Y/n’s back!”

“I can taste blood in my mouth is-is that normal?” She asks.

“Are you alright?”

“No Samuel I’m not alright I’ve just walked up a trillion stairs just to get here! Why do you have to live so far up?”

“It’s easier when the elevator works” he grins.

“Hey Y/n/n” Steve says hugging her.

“Hi Stevie”

The three of them hear hurried footsteps coming towards them and when they look they see Bucky rushing down the hallway “shit, Bunny you’re back! I nearly fell in the shower trying to rush to get out” he pants pulling her into a bone crushing hug.

“I-I-I’m sorry but…Ducky…”

“What’s up Bun?” He follows her eye line and he’s realised his mistake. In his rush he managed to pull on some shorts but no shirt.

Meaning that she can see the bunny tattoo.

And unbeknownst to either one, they don’t realise that Sam and Steve have their eyes trained on the tattoo she has on the top of her spine.

“That’s a bunny” she points of the obvious.

“Yeah, yeah it is”

“Why?”

“For you”

“When did you get it done?”

“On my eighteenth birthday”

“And it’s for me?” Watching as he nods “can I?” He nods again to the unspoken part of her question, his skin tingles as she reaches out and runs her fingers over the delicate lines.

“Oh Duck it’s beautiful”

“Your hiding your own little secret aren’t you Y/n” Sam smiles.

“What are they talking about Bun?”

“I-um-I got this done on my eighteenth birthday” she says turning in his hold to show him her tattoo.

“Bun, it’s us. Can I?” It’s her turn to nod at his unspoken words she gasps lightly when his cold fingers trace the lines, he’s so mesmerised by the details and polka dots that he simply couldn’t stop touching it. “Bun it’s so beautiful”

“It was my first tattoo, obviously”

“So was mine”

“I actually feel really left out” Sam admits wrapping his arms around Steve’s “Stevie they don’t love us”

“That’s not true because-“ she rolls her sleeves up to her elbows and shows them the tattoos she had gotten for them ‘♡ S.R ♡ ♡ S.W ♡’ with a love heart on the top of her forearms. Not batting an eye at the scars the two boys lean in as Bucky leans over her shoulder.

“Who’s who?” Sam grins “but Y/n you actually got our initials tattooed on you?”

“Your obviously SR idiot and yeah of course I did, these were my second tattoos”

“B-but we weren’t friends at the time” Steve says as he eyes the long jagged scars.

“Well you three were a massive parts of my life and the reason why I got the duck and bunny on my back was because Bucky was the first person to see the scars once they where heeled and he never once judged me so”

“Y/n…”

“Anyways you want your presents, I’m like Santa but less cool” she moves out of Bucky’s hold and makes her way over to her bag and started to pull out the gifts, laughing as Sam stands there with his eyes closed and hands out stretched. Steve shakes his head at the guy.

Bucky, well his eyes are trained on his Bunny.

He knew he was in love with her since he was fourteen and now he wonders if she feels the same. 

“So how’s you and Peter doing?” Bucky asks as they wait for Steve and Sam to come back with the pizzas.

“Pietro, and he broke up with me”

“What? Why?”

“He joined the Army and he said he didn’t want me to be waiting around on him, that it wasn’t fair for him to do that to me so yeah”

“Bun I’m sorry”

“It’s okay, I actually understand why he did it you know? And there’s no hard feelings about it.”

When the boys got back laughter filled the apartment as the boys filled her in on what they had been up to during them two months she wasn’t with them and her telling them about her adventures.

It was way past midnight when Sam stretched and looked over at Y/n and Bucky curled up on the couch fast asleep.

“Steve, how long you think she’s been in love with him?” He whispered so he wouldn’t wake the pair up.

“I think just as long as he’s been with her”

And Steve was right.

<Previous   Next>

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[boiohboii]

Our wedding menu (Lando Norris x reader)

When your friend leaves you to entertain yourself you decide to try something really new.

or

in which you wanted to have fun and a really handsome, curly haired british boy is your victim.

N.B: just a silly little drabble inspired by this video, hope you guys like it! WARNINGS: not proof read, spelling mistakes maybe? Also, don't do that in public, this is just for fun really. Let me know what you guys think!

masterlist

When people are bored they watch a movie, read a book or maybe go outside and look around. But you weren't feeling like doing any of those things, your friend has left you to go on a date and honestly you can't blame her, the guy was extremely handsome and so so polite, which is why you are currently sitting in a cafe doing what you do best- people watching.

There was an old couple sharing their lunch and smiling (they are what anyone dreams of, in Monaco with each other after however many years of marriages), there was an employee on the phone behind the counter probably arguing with someone by the movements in her hands and the chewing of her own lips, and there was a group of guys (fuck off, why are they so handsome) who you are pretty sure are famous- if the guys, girls and old rich people coming up every few minutes asking for photos and autographs weren't enough of a sign the billboards you've seen scattered around Monaco in your short visit of 4 out of these 9 guys (that's a big ass friend group) were confirmation of them being models at least (which adds up to these looks).

Now you weren't much of a jokester in front of strange people, especially not a group of 9 handsome guys, but hey life is all about trying new things which is why you decided it'd be fun to try and see what their reactions would be.

Standing up you rushed out of the cafe, was it a good idea? No. Did you have enough social energy to pull this off? No. Do you have enough confidence to talk to one handsome dude who is in the middle of his handsome friends? Also no. But none of that stopped you from going to the burger truck a few blocks down asking for 2 double cheeseburgers and 2 chocolate frosties. After taking your receipt you stood in line, waiting for your order.

"I love their variety so much! Everything is available"

"Yes! I am so happy that they have no meat options"

Oh shit. What if he's vegan!

Leaving your place in the line you went back to the cashier and ordered the most appealing name from their non meat menu.

After finally having your food in hand you went back the same way stopping in front of a flower shop, what flowers should you get? would he even accept the flowers? What if he's allergic to flowers?

Opening up Google you searched for the flowers that don't cause allergies, seeing roses on top of the list you decided to get a small bouquet of 4 roses before placing it carefully in your bag (in another zipper away from the food).

Entering the cafe for the 2nd time today you took a look around, extremely happy that the barista kept her word and made sure that all of the tables are taken and the only chair empty is besides the curly haired boy laughing at something his friends have said.

"Hi, I'm sorry to interupt but can I sit here?"

You asked as you looked around the table, upon seeing all of them looking at each other you explained further "it's just that there's no other chairs available, as soon as there is one I'll be gone, promise"

"Oh yes, of course, you can stay as long as you want"

The guy with green? or is it blue? eyes replied, while everyone else gestured for you to take a seat.

"Thank you," as you placed your bag you asked the one question that would decide if you should move on with whatever it was you were going to do "oh, sorry, do you have a girlfriend? I don't want to overstep or make any misunderstandings" you asked the victim of your plan, upon shaking his head you took a seat.

Sitting down you decided to start your plan, fishing the necklace out of the small zipper you turned to the boy sitting beside you holding the necklace between both of you

"Can you please do this for me? I can't reach"

All chatter around the table stopped, you can feel 9 pairs of eyes on you as you gave the boy a small, apologetic smile.

"Oh, uhh- yeah of course," ohhh, he's british, damn you might actually fall in love "let me just figure out how it works."

As he clasped the necklace together you thanked him, moving onto your next step which consisted of you bending down to get your mirror and your lipstick out of the bag, staying in your position you moved the bag a bit to the right before adjusting yourself a bit so that what you're doing would be noticed. Not bringing your mirror onto the table but still visible enough for the 9 guys to see you applying a new layer of lipstick, you can hear them questioning what you are doing and it just made you want to get up and run back to your hotel room.

You already started, no going back now.

Being satisfied with how the lipstick looked you placed it back in the bag before sitting properly, smiling at the blue eyed guy in front of you.

Waiting a bit so that the guy besides you isn't speaking to someone before you move onto the main plan.

Upon seeing him get his phone out you decided to go ahead, it's now or never

"We had a date, no?" you whispered to him as to not get the attention of his friends, at least not this soon.

The man blinked at you before looking around him, wanting to make sure you are talking to him "I'm sorry?"

Before he could even question you any further he saw roses within his eyesight

"These are for you," you pushed the bouquet into his frozen hands "hope it smells as good as you"

Red started covering his face, looking around at his friends, who quietened down as soon as they saw the red roses, searching for an explanation.

When you kept looking at him with that smile he let out a small thanks before smelling the flowers.

Okay, nice, so far so good, why is he so flustered oh my god, he's the cutest.

"Oh, I also bought burgers"

"I'm sorry, what is this about?"

"I also bought drinks, one is oreo and one is hershey, well it was supposed to be hershey kisses but they ran out so let me just," leaning over to him, you kissed his cheek "there you go, now you can take the hershey one"

The other 8 boys howled in laughter at the wide eyed, red faced boy staring at the drink in front of him on the table. He bite his lips, trying to prevent a smile from breaking out onto his face.

You decided to get your phone out and wait a bit before you moved on further with the plan, the group going back to their conversations while the brit besides you kept taking glances at you, thinking you wouldn't notice, but you did and you also noticed that he is not touching his burger, only drinking the frosty.

Dipping your hand into your bag you got out the other burger "that's a non meat burger, bought it just in case."

"Oh," he took the food from your hands, nodding his head in thanks "you didn't have to."

Giving him a full smile you went back to your phone, waiting for him to eat a bit of his sandwhich so you could make the next move. The way he gets flustered and shy makes you want to ask him out on an actual date, he is so fucking pretty.

"Do you like it?"

Nodding, he smiled at you as he gave you a thumbs up as he can't answer while chewing.

"I'm really glad, I was thinking about adding it to our wedding menu," the dark haired man sitting on the other side of the british boy choked onto his drink, looking at their group of friends wanting to make sure that he heard correctly "not as a main dish, more like a snack really."

The boy besides you shrugged, thinking about how a burger truck would look in a wedding.

"Mate, you better not forget my invite if you're gonna have burgers at your wedding."

[jinx-xxed]

Happy Holidays

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆ .。.:*

A/N; I’m 2 days late (I’m so sorry) BUT I have returned to do a Christmas fic woohoo ^_^!!! Take this as my gift to you all because thank you so much for the constant support on the fics I’ve posted, I never expected all this and I’m very happy that people like them! It motivates me to keep going :) I hope to be able to post more soon/in the new year! Anyway, I hope you all enjoy and happy holidays to everyone!

Part of Written in the Stars

Summary; It’s nice to not spend Christmas alone.

Content; NSFW 18+, modern AU, Christmas fic, original characters, you and Kylo are in college, early 20s, childhood friends to strangers to lovers vibe, shared loneliness, you have a kitten, you’re an aspiring NASCAR driver, family issues, mention of abusive parents, mention of you smoking, Kylo cooks for you, very domestic, admission of feelings, reconciliation, Kylo is down bad sorry not sorry, Kylo wants to care for you, he’d do anything, desperate Kylo (my fav), first time together, eating out, fingering, marking, praise, piv sex, soft sex, aftercare, showering together, cuddles

Wc; 6.5k

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆ .。.:*

Someone is knocking on your door.

It’s 4:38 PM on Christmas Eve and someone is knocking on the door to your college apartment.

“What in the fuck?” You snap, having to pause the video you’d been watching on your phone. Your only companion is BB, the little black and silver kitten you’d found a few weeks ago who’s thankfully no longer sickly and has been putting on good weight. His head is now raised, eyes squinted from sleep. You’re about to go back to what you were doing when the knocking comes once more. You loudly groan this time, ripping off the stack of covers and blankets and swinging your legs over the side of the bed.

You stomp through the apartment in your ratty t-shirt and sweatpants combo, more than ready to punch whoever’s on the other side of the door. You undo the double lock and swing it open, a brutal, anti-Christmas glare on your face. It’s wiped away in a second and replaced by shock when you see who’s waiting there, hand half raised as if to knock again.

“Kylo?” You say incredulously.

The wall of a man is dressed in his full winter attire—a long black peacoat over a black turtleneck and pants, with a scarf undone around his neck and black leather gloves covering his hands. Snow dusts his shoulders and the silky black strands of his hair, his scar stands out starkly along the left side of his face. His expression mirrors yours, seeming surprised you even opened the door.

His sticks his hands in the pockets of his coat. “Are you doing anything?”

You arch a brow and look backwards into your apartment, as if checking to make sure there’s no Christmas party going on. It’s dead silent and empty. “What do you think?” You ask dryly. You even told him how sad your Christmas was going to be when he was helping you with BB; Chief—your white haired best friend—is traveling, you’re banned from family gatherings by your mother, you have nowhere to go and nothing to do.

“Then come over to my place.” Kylo says simply, halfway between a question and a demand.

Your head tilts, brows furrowing. “For what?” You didn’t think you were on those kinds of terms. The terms of inviting each other over for fun rather than just in moments of reluctant alliance—which in recent cases was a sick kitten who’d been buried in snow on the street.

Kylo huffs as his eyes roll. “For Christmas. Unless you want to spend it in your barely heated apartment by yourself, then by all means, go ahead.”

You glare at him and hold it as you mull the idea over in your mind. You hate to admit it would be nice to get out of the apartment where you huddle under ten layers, plus Kylo’s house is really fancy… and it would be like when you were kids, your two families spending every holiday together before… everything happened. You sigh, briefly hanging your head and staring at his shiny shoes. “Fine.” You meet his eyes again. “But I’m bringing BB.”

He shrugs like it makes absolutely no difference. You tell him to give you a few minutes before you shut the door on him, hurrying back inside to get changed. You throw on simple black jeans, a white button up you only got for job interviews, and sleek black boots. BB doesn’t make a fuss when you put him in his carrier, and you put some of his food in a backpack. You put on your heavy duty jacket and you’re ready to go.

You find Kylo where you left him, except he took to leaning against a wall. He straightens when he sees you, briefly looking you over with something in his eyes that you can’t place. Your outfit is so simple and unassuming that you just take it as him judging you. “Let’s go.” You bite out.

Kylo leads the way without a word, the both of you sharing a silent elevator ride down to the ground floor. The only reason you live in a nice, on campus apartment building is because of Chief. Unlike you, she didn’t get cut off by her abusive mother and left to flounder with nothing, so Chief is able to get some of the finer things in life. You’re lucky she splits them with you.

You hiss and retract into your jacket as soon as that below freezing air hits you right in the face. There’s roughly seven inches of snow on the ground with more on the way and more being spat out by the gray clouds that obscure the setting sun. Winters up here have always been hell, and it makes you want to turn right around and forget you ever agreed to join Kylo for Christmas. BB agrees with a pitiful meow as the cold gets him through the mesh of his carrier, despite the extra blanket you stuffed in there.

You make it a quick walk to the small parking garage, Kylo’s new, black Honda Civic Type R waiting inside. You give yourself only a second to admire the car—astonished at what mommy and daddy’s money can buy—before you slip into the leather seats with teeth chattering, clutching BB’s carrier in your lap. Kylo follows, blasting the heat as soon as the keys hit the ignition. “This better be good if you’re dragging me out of my apartment into this.” You can’t help but snap.

“It’s not like your apartment is much warmer.” He retorts. You grumble over the fact he’s not entirely incorrect.

The drive from your building to his house is about twenty minutes, his home sitting in a nice neighborhood far enough from campus that they don’t run the risk of vandalism from party kids. It makes your lip upturn, looking at all the fancy houses with fancy decorations, cars lined up in the driveways and warm lights filtering through windows. It reminds you of how it’d be when you were younger, with you and Kylo’s families coming together to celebrate, parents gathering around to talk while you two ran off to play games or do something stupid. Thinking about it creates a pit in your stomach, one that’s full of something like regret and longing.

Kylo’s home is nice, to put it lightly. His mother gave it to him despite his estrangement when he decided to go to the college in the area. It has a lovely dark wooden exterior with multi-color wooden accents to match. It’s not small by any means with two floors, a basement, and an attic, everything spacious and well furnished—it’s far more than any college kid would probably need. Han used to teach a class or two on campus during special events, just so students could get some lessons from a real pro in the racing scene. Your own father would do the same before his accident ruined it all.

You’re torn from your thoughts when the car comes to a stop in the safety of the garage. You’re reluctant to leave the warmth of the Honda but you manage to get yourself up and follow Kylo. When he unlocks the door and lets you inside, your eyes widen with the sight that greets you.

“Woah-kay.” You say with a sort of awe, your head tilted back to look at all the decorations. There’s garlands wrapped along the stair banister and strewn across parts of the high-arching ceiling, mixing with the chandelier hanging above. Soft golden lights are embedded into each strand of pine. There’s smaller pieces like little trees and deer placed methodically on the small server table near the door and on the mini shelves along the walls. The wooden floor is fitted with a red carpet that leads into the massive kitchen and adjoining living room, more pretty lights and decorations filling the way.

When you enter into the living room, you can’t help but gasp at the large tree filling the back wall near the fireplace. It’s so reminiscent of the one from your childhood, Leia never liking the hassle of real trees and so always bringing out the same trusty fake one each year. The white lights reflect nicely off the windows, the dark green branches void of any ornaments. All together it’s very homey and warm, the occasional candle lit amongst the rooms. It’s the exact opposite of Kylo.

While you were walking through the house taking it all in, he took off his winter gear and stuffed it in a closet somewhere, leaving him in the turtleneck, pants, and black socks. “I’m shocked you did all this.” You manage to say when he joins you in the living room, you still spinning in circles to look at everything.

“There were some old decorations in the basement.” He says. He rolls up his sleeves and crouches by the fireplace which you notice is already loaded with fresh logs and crumpled newspaper. He throws in a match and watches it burn, stoking it a few times to make sure it catches. The sound of crackling fire along with soft Christmas music playing from a speaker filters into the room and you can’t help but feel you walked into a Hallmark movie.

You look at Kylo skeptically. “What’s all this for?”

He shrugs as he walks by into the kitchen. “We can’t celebrate how we used to?”

You scoff. “Did you do this just for me?” You know the answer to your own question considering there’s no one else here and the fact he won’t reply. “What if I had said no?”

“I knew you wouldn’t.” He says, and it annoys you how sure of himself he is.

You ignore him and instead decide to let BB loose. You pick him up out of the carrier, holding him in front of you with his back feet dangling. “Do not go tearing up all the decorations, you hear me? And don’t eat any either, I don’t need that emergency vet visit tonight.” You scold, even as your kitten just gives you his usual dumb wide-eyed look. You sigh and set him down, watching him trot off like this is his second home. It’s not far off considering Kylo still has a litter box here for him.

You shrug off your jacket and shoes, then following a delicious scent into the kitchen. Kylo’s taking two small dishes from the oven as you settle yourself into one of the barstools at the counter, a roaster with what smells like ham inside sitting nearby. You watch Kylo’s methodical movements, double checking all of his dishes and putting everything in the right spot. The food makes your mouth water and stomach grumble, reminding you that you haven’t had a decent meal in the week that Chief has been gone.

“Honey glazed ham, mashed potatoes, and green bean casserole with cheese. Does that sound good for you?” Kylo asks with a raised brow.

You almost laugh. “Are you kidding? That sounds good as fuck.”

Kylo nods and gets down two plates. “Do you want wine?”

“Absolutely.”

“I’m restricting you to one glass.”

You roll your eyes. “Bastard.” Leia’s family always had the best wine you’ve ever tasted, full of rich, strong flavors and a very fine texture. It always surprises you with how good it is, and that’s why you could easily take a whole bottle. One glass won’t do much for you.

Kylo prepares a plate for you and for himself while you dump some of BB’s dry food in his bowl, just so he feels included. And so maybe he’s less inclined to try and get to the ham.

Since the dining table got moved, you and Kylo decide to sit at the counter, just the few inches of space between the chairs separating you. You take a sip of the wine first, that beautiful taste the same as you remembered it. Kylo can’t help watching you from the corner of his eye as you try the food. You give every dish its turn, and each one is just as good as the last. Bursting flavors and cooked to perfection, it’s like heaven.

“God damn.” You mumble around a mouthful, happily digging in. “I didn’t know you could cook this well.”

“I’m glad you like it.” Kylo says, finally diverting his gaze from you and focusing on his own plate.

You both sit in silence for a while, neither really knowing what to say or if you should say anything at all. You instead listen to the Christmas music coming through the speaker, the warmth of the fire on your backs. You try to ignore the type of emotion that wells inside you, some weird kind of nostalgia mixing with melancholy. You hate missing the old days, you hate missing when your family wasn’t a fractured mess, when your mother wasn’t cruel. And you hate missing a man who’s sitting right next to you on top of it all. There’s so much that has changed, both in your lives and yourselves. Hell, you hadn’t seen him in eight years until about seven months ago when you spotted him in a random bar your band had been playing at.

You drown out the thoughts by emptying your wine glass, the slight burn going down a welcome distraction.

When you’re finished with a second plate, you’re so full you can barely muster any kind of energy to move from your seat. You manage to slide out of your chair and then promptly flop onto the soft couch, the fire hot against your face. Kylo cleans up behind you, more than pleased with himself and his cooking skills.

You easily doze off with the sounds of Christmas music and dishes lightly clattering in the background. You’re not sure how long you lay there on the couch with your eyes closed, finally content with a full belly and some proper warmth—until something hits you in the face.

“Ow- fucker.” You snap, propping yourself up on your elbows and squinting against the light. You look down to find a rectangle nicely wrapped in dark blue paper, a little white bow sitting in the left corner. You’re confused while Kylo sits on the couch next to you, jostling you on the cushions.

“Open it.” Kylo says, watching you expectantly as you sit up.

You look at him skeptically, not sure how to proceed with the gift in your hands. You decide to oblige him, tentatively ripping at the crisp paper and finding what’s underneath. Your eyes widen, breath catching in your throat. It’s the video game you’ve been wanting, the one you’ve been pining after since its release a year and a half ago—you just never had the sixty dollars to cough up for it. You’d mentioned it in passing in some random conversation with Kylo that you can’t even remember and so you never expected that it would end up in your hands in this moment.

“What- I… I didn’t get you anything.” You mumble, trying to swallow the lump in your throat.

Kylo leans forward, his hands clasped between his open legs. You can feel his gaze burning into you. “I didn’t want you to.”

“Thank you.” You manage to say. “For all of tonight. It was nice.” It was nice to not spend a holiday alone, to feel like a normal person again and not someone just trying to get through this day and then the next. It was… nice to spend some time with him again, without the hostility and bad memories between you.

Kylo nods, looking down at the floor as he goes quiet for a moment. His fingers twitch, his thumb tapping against the back of his other hand. He blows a sigh through his nose, clearly debating something, struggling with himself until- “I want you.”

Your head snaps up, your mouth falling open, brows furrowed. “What do you-“

“I want you, I’ve wanted you so fucking bad all this time. I’ve spent the last eight years agonizing over what I did, wishing I could just- just undo it because I’m so sick of you pushing me away. Every fucking time I think we get better and then you just shut me out again.” His words come out in a rush and he gets to his feet, one hand on his hip while the other goes into his hair as he paces. “I wish you would just let me in, let me- let me help you, fuck, so you’re not sitting in a freezing apartment all winter and living off shitty food and cigarettes.”

You stand abruptly, matching him. “You think I don’t want that?” You demand. “You think I don’t fucking miss you? You think I don’t wish I could talk to you like I used to, to come to you with anything? I miss you, Kylo, I miss you so fucking bad. I have for years. But you fucked up and I am scared of that happening again.”

He steps up to you, grabbing your hand, looking at you with such conviction it makes your breath stutter. His voice is quieter when he speaks. “Then let me show you it won’t. Give me a fucking chance and just let me try.”

You can tell he means every word he says, that’s always been a trait of his. He’s blunt and straightforward and he needs you to know exactly what he means, exactly what he wants from you. There’s a million emotions swirling inside of you, two sides going to war in your mind. There’s that part of you that wants to shove him off again, just like every other time, and forget any of this happened so you don’t have to bother but then… there’s the part that simply wants to melt into his embrace because you’re just so tired. Tired of longing, of wanting, of resisting.

You know what side won when you’re reaching up, your hand caressing his cheek and watching as he shudders in a way only you could notice, bringing him down to finally kiss him. It feels like the world stops in that moment, like something has at last been righted after all this time, like an axis is no longer tilted. It’s akin to remembering the thing you’d forgotten, to finding something you’d lost so long ago, to putting in that final puzzle piece. Kylo’s mouth is warm and plush against yours, his hands immediately finding your hips and pulling you into him. You instantly relax against his touch and you realize how bad you’d wanted it, how much you craved the comfort of him.

He’s eager and hungry, chasing your tongue and taking everything that you give him. He explores every inch, he makes sure he’s thorough. He’s waited so long for this and he’s not going to waste it, just in case this is his only chance. He makes his way down, abandoning your lips to kiss the corner of your mouth, then along your jaw, following the path to your neck. Your breath is coming fast, your chest pushing against his as you both pant with need. You yelp when you’re suddenly lifted off the ground, Kylo’s hands on your ass and making your legs wrap around his middle.

You cling to his strong shoulders as he carries you upstairs, moving quickly into his bedroom. You barely get to look around at it before you’re being laid roughly on the bed, Kylo immediately following you, practically enveloping your body with his. His room is decorated simply, with a desk and dresser and bookshelves lining the walls, a closet to the left, and the occasional simplistic painting on an empty space. Everything is darkly colored including the black comforter you’re currently on, the material soft and briefly cooling against your burning skin.

You let out a sharp moan when his teeth graze the skin of your neck and Kylo groans in tandem, the sound music to his ears. Before you know it, your shirt is unbuttoned and exposing your chest to the chilling air, goosebumps raising along your flesh. Kylo is fast to remedy this, one of his warm hands coming up and massaging a breast through your bra, his eyes briefly trained on the motion.

“Fuck, I’ve thought about this so many times.” He whispers, his lips soft against your collarbone and sternum.

You hum, your fingers carding through the silky strands of his hair. “Me too.”

He lifts you up to get rid of your shirt and your bra, unclipping it with ease and throwing both pieces across the room. He doesn’t hesitate to take one of your perked nipples into his mouth, the wet sensation making you whimper and writhe beneath him. His hand gives attention to the other side, squeezing and pinching and eliciting as many sounds from you as he wants. You can feel the tent in his pants rubbing against you through the fabric, something like heat pooling in your stomach as a result. He kisses your other nipple, bringing it into his mouth and swirling and flicking it against his tongue, making sure to give it the same attention as the first. He’s meticulous, wanting to get all of you, leaving his mark with spit and little nips of his teeth.

When he thinks he’s done enough, he steadily kisses his way down, multitasking with undoing the buttons on your jeans before those are also tossed to some place on the floor. “I don’t think this is very fair.” You pant, referencing the fact he’s still fully clothed.

Kylo smirks against your belly before straightening himself. He pulls his turtleneck up and over his head, revealing his perfectly toned abdomen. His muscles are well defined and splattered with freckles and light scars, the one on his face going down past his collarbone. You still have yet to find out how he got it, but you know it’ll come with time. It seems you’ll have all the time in the world now.

He’s on you again in a second, this time your hands coming forward to explore the smooth planes of his chest and back. You can feel his strength beneath your fingertips and it makes you shiver, sending it right down to your cunt. It’s then that he pulls off your underwear in a quick motion, his mouth parted in anticipation. His palm sits on your knee, moving it aside to look at your center that’s already glistening with your arousal.

“You’re so beautiful, you know that?” He says with a low rumble to his words, his eyes barely leaving your pussy. All you can do is whimper in response. His chest heaves. “I’m going to eat you out. Okay?” You nearly choke on your saliva but you manage to nod.

That’s all he needs.

Kylo begins his descent at your breasts, lightly kissing each one and steadily moving down your front, his big hands rubbing soothing lines along your thighs with the occasional self indulgent squeeze. He can feel your tension beneath him, the way your muscles are bunched from your nerves. “Relax, baby. I’ll take care of you.” He murmurs against your skin like a promise, just as he’s lowering himself between your legs. His eyes are level with your cunt, nothing but pure desire filling his blown out irises. There’s a puff of air against your wetness that makes you quiver. “I’ll take care of you.” It’s quieter this time, full of reverence as he secures his arms around your thighs, resting your calves on his shoulders.

He licks a fat stripe up your pussy, collecting all of the initial slick that was gathered there. You nearly squeal but hold it back last second, it instead sounding like a strangled whine. It’s been so long since someone ate you out you’ve nearly forgotten what it felt like, but Kylo is quick to make you remember. He takes every inch that you’ve given to him, his uses his tongue’s full potential. He uses languid movements, licking from your hole and up to your clit where he circles it before sucking it into his mouth. It sends bolts of pleasure shooting through your body, causing you to moan and buck into his face. He likes that reaction, so he takes it upon himself to do that a couple times, watching as you writhe with your mouth dropped open and eyes squeezed shut.

“Can’t wait to see how you act when you cum, sweet thing.” He says through his breaths. He dives back down, sticking his tongue into your hole and swiping up all the fresh arousal you’ve dripped for him, spreading it across your pussy as he eats you like a man starved.

Kylo lets go of one of your legs to drag two fingers through the lips of your cunt, collecting the wetness before stuffing you full. You let out a sharp whimper at the new feeling, his thick fingers easily filling your still-tight hole. He does a few exploratory pumps, pressing against your plush walls, scissoring to stretch you wider. He curses as he watches, his cock aching in his pants at the thought of sinking into you as deep as you’ll take him.

He returns his mouth to your clit, sucking it against his tongue and occasionally scraping his teeth along the bud, listening as your moans grow in pitch and speed, your heels digging into his back. It’s better than anything he imagined before—your taste, your sounds… it’s like his own personal heaven. He never thought he’d get the chance to have you before him like this and he couldn’t be more grateful to have your pussy on his tongue.

“Fuck, Kylo, fuckfuckfuck-“ You gasp, and he groans at the way you say his name with ecstasy on your lips. He feels a certain pride that he’s making you like this, making you a soaked, moaning mess on his bed. Your back comes off the mattress with the way it arches, your fingers digging sharply into his comforter as you feel that familiar pressure building in your gut. It’s hot and burning and so close to being released. He realizes this, deciding to swirl your clit harsher, pump his fingers faster and deeper, even being able to squeeze a third one into your throbbing cunt.

With all of that, with your senses overloaded, you scream as you cum all over his hand. Your body heaves as you try to breathe, your mind buzzing while trying to regain any semblance of rational thought. Kylo dips his head down, gathering up every drop of your cum and licking his fingers clean while your legs twitch on his shoulders. It’s been years since you came that hard and you realize now how much you missed it.

You come back to when Kylo shifts, raising from between your legs. You reach for him, feeling such a desperate need for him and to draw him closer. “C’mere.” You whisper, still barely able to think straight. He obliges, returning to you and your lips. He kisses you deeply and sensually, residue from your cum still on his tongue, the entire bottom half of his face wet and shiny with your arousal. Your arms sling across his shoulders, your legs wrap around his hips, drawing him in and rubbing his erection against your sensitive pussy, making you moan into his mouth.

You hear the buckle of his belt come undone, the zipper of his pants a second later. You can feel yourself start to drip again despite the fact you just came, excitement bubbling inside you. There’s movement next to you as Kylo rifles through a drawer, pulling out a condom and parting from you for just a second to rip it open with his teeth. He rolls it on with a practiced ease, finally drawing your eyes down to his cock. It’s almost painfully hard, making you startle from his size. He takes your chin and averts your focus, your eyes meeting his. You’ve always loved his eyes—how pretty they are, how kind they can look. How angry too.

He kisses you when his tip prods at your cunt, your breath catching as he slowly enters you. Kylo rumbles low in his throat, something that reverberates through your whole body and makes your pussy clench around him. He nearly chokes, his hands coming down to brace himself on either side of you. “Shit.” He hisses, pushing himself in further. You can’t help your little whines and moans as he keeps going, making sure you take him. Just when you think another inch will make you burst, he sheaths himself to the hilt, both of you groaning.

“Fuck!” He snaps in a half whisper. “You’re so fucking good, sweetheart. So good to me.”

You nod along, trying to keep your gaze focused on him rather than looking away. You want to see him, his reactions, just like you know he wants to see yours. He takes another second to get used to the bliss of your warm, gummy walls before he finally moves his hips. Just a simple thrust, an experiment of sorts. Kylo nearly comes undone right then before he gets ahold of himself, inwardly cursing the way he’s acting like some high school boy. He’s never been good at controlling himself around you, especially now with his cock buried so deep in your hot pussy.

He draws all the way out before snapping his hips and sheathing himself again, feeling the way you suck him back in and refuse to let go. He does it once and then twice, quickly finding his rhythm and fucking into you properly. Your moans have more volume now, each one punctuated by his thrusts. He leans down, his lips sucking and biting at your neck, so eager to leave his mark on you, to at last take what’s his. He’s wanted you for so fucking long and he’s not going to lose you again. He’s going to do everything for you, he’s going to take care of you like you deserve because god knows no one else has.

Those thoughts have Kylo moving with more determination, hitting that spot in your cunt time and again—you make it obvious with the way your moans will turn into whines when he gets it. Your pleasure is one of the best sounds he’s heard, he never wants to stop hearing it. Your nails dig into his back as you scrabble for purchase, already teetering on the edge of another orgasm from him pounding into you. He can feel the way your walls flutter, your stomach tensing in preparation.

Kylo reaches a hand down and rubs harshly on your aching clit with his thumb, making you screech while he smirks in satisfaction. That knot in your stomach releases soon after and you cum all over his cock, your pussy squeezing him in such a delicious way he moans and tosses his head back. “Fucking Christ.” He pants. “You’re so fucking perfect.”

He never imagined it could be this good. He’s never stopped thinking of you, even when he was fucking other girls to try and distract himself from how badly he needed you. It never worked of course, because none of those girls could ever compare to the excellence that is you. You are all he needs, all he’s ever needed. He curls himself over you again, his face burying into your neck, inhaling your scent and sucking at your sweat slicked skin. “Say it. Say you’ll be with me, that you’ll be mine. Say this won’t be over after tonight.” He demands, straightening to look you in the eyes, continuing to thrust into you all the while. “Say it.”

You swallow thickly and he watches your throat as it bobs, your lips slightly parted. You hesitate for just a second, just a moment of thinking about what could go wrong, of those past grievances. You find that you don’t really care, that you don’t have the energy to keep up those same walls anymore. So you nod. “I will be yours. I will be with you.” You say and watch as relief flashes over Kylo’s face and disappears just as quickly, his emotions never lingering for too long. Something in your chest eases, like someone finally stopped squeezing your heart in a cold fist.

He kisses you again as his thrusts grow erratic, his hips stuttering in their rhythm. You feel the way his cock twitches inside of you, the telltale sign that he’s close. You pull him in, wanting him pressed against you when he finally cums. He releases with a loud, guttural groan and a multitude of curses, his movements slowing as he gives a few more halfhearted pumps, emptying his spend. And then you both lay there for a moment, with his forehead resting against your sternum and you looking up at the ceiling, neither able to move nor wanting to.

You’re in a state of disbelief that that actually happened, that you just had the best sex of your life with your old childhood best friend who you had still hated earlier this same afternoon. On Christmas Eve no fucking less. You can’t say you regret it at all.

You’re tugged from your thoughts when Kylo moves. You wince as he begins to pull out, your cunt unbearably sensitive from two powerful orgasms and a very thorough fucking. He flops down next to you, bringing you into his side before throwing an arm over his eyes, trying to catch his breath. You’re both exhausted, but you both couldn’t be happier.

It takes him a few minutes before he’s finally able to take off the condom, tie it, and toss it into a garbage bin near the bed. You lay there as your sweat and shared arousal cools, as your breathing calms, as you just enjoy each other’s presence. You wish you could fall asleep like that, but all the drying liquids on you is making your skin itch and you need some proper clothes so you don’t freeze.

Kylo seems to be on the same wavelength, because he sits up with a groan and pushes his sweat soaked hair out of his face. “Shower?”

You can’t help your gentle smile. “Yes please.”

He kisses you before swinging over the side of the bed and standing, holding out a hand to you and helping you up as well. Your legs shake uneasily and everything already feels sore, but Kylo is there to support you on the way to the bathroom. The bright lights burn your eyes, making you grunt and squint when he turns them on. You stand there holding yourself for warmth as he gets the shower on, holding his hand under the stream until the water finally gets hot.

“I’ll join you in a minute. I’m going to change the sheets.” He says, kissing you on your hairline before he leaves.

You don’t hesitate on that, quickly using the bathroom first before getting under the blissfully hot water. You hum as it runs over your hair and skin, already making you feel significantly better. You just let it wash over you for a minute before deciding to get the soap, grabbing one of Kylo’s manly smelling shampoos and beginning to dig it into your scalp. You were just about to get the body wash before he finally joins you, his shower more than big enough for the two of you.

“Hey.” You say with another little smile.

“Hi.” He replies, a small tilt to the corner of his mouth. It shows one his dimples and you decide it’s one of your new favorite things.

You smack his hand away when he’s about to reach for the shampoo and he looks at you curiously while you squirt some in your hands. You reach up to run your fingers through his hair and smile wider when his eyes close in satisfaction; it reminds you of a cat. You help each other wash your bodies of all the grime, standing under that hot water until it starts to go cold.

Stepping out of the shower, you feel more relaxed than you have in a while and also incredibly sleepy. Kylo wraps a fluffy black towel around you. “I put some clothes on the bed for you.” He says, wrapping his own towel around himself.

“Mkay, thanks.” You mumble tiredly, your eyes squinted against the light once more. You shuffle back into his bedroom, his sheets replaced with ones that look identical but just without a big wet spot on them. There’s a folded t-shirt, sweats, and boxers on the end so you quickly pull them on. They’re big on you since they’re Kylo’s, but you don’t mind—they’re comfortable and smell like him.

You decide to get in bed while you wait for him since he went downstairs to turn off all the lights and music, and you find it feels like you laid on a pile of clouds. Compared to your lumpy, shitty old mattress at the apartment, Kylo’s mattress feels like literal heaven. That mixed with the fresh, comfy sheets and blankets… you could stay here for the rest of your life. You curl up and pull the blankets around you, humming to yourself in satisfaction.

Kylo finally comes back upstairs just as you were about to doze off, plopping something on the bed and disturbing you. “What the-“ You begin to say before BB is nuzzling into your face. You smile, scratching the kitten behind the ears the way he likes and making him purr. “Hey buddy.”

“He was in the Christmas tree.” Kylo says, pulling the covers back to join you in bed.

“That’s not surprising.” You reply. BB has always liked to explore everything he can. Though it seems right now he shares your sleepiness because he walks over you in order to curl up by your head on your pillow.

Kylo wraps a strong arm around you and pulls you in, your head resting nicely against his chest, just under his chin. You drape your own arm across his ribs, his warm body beneath you a solid comfort.

He lets out a relaxed sigh, tickling the hair on top of your head. “Stay with me until Chief gets back.”

“Planned on it.” You manage to say despite being half asleep already. The last thing you wanted after tonight was to go back to that cold, miserable apartment where you’d be by yourself for another two weeks.

His grip on you tightens for a second. “Good. I’ll take you by the apartment tomorrow to get your things.”

“Sssounds good.” You mutter, words slurring together. You can feel Kylo’s light chuckle before there’s a kiss placed on your head.

Falling asleep with Kylo holding you and BB next to you, in a big soft bed, warm and perfectly content for the first time in a while, makes it feel like a Christmas wish you didn’t even know you had finally came true.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling mom to stop giving me unhealthy food and then refusing to say "I love you" back?

I (16, FtM) am autistic, for the longest time I struggled with eating different types of foods, in fact, i only started eating vegetables when I was 16 because my nutritionist told me to. Since I have memory, i've been teased by my weight, all my life. It led me to make decisions i'm not very proud of (like getting groomed at 8-9 years old), because of my low self esteem.

I've gone to the nutritionist a total of 2 times in my life, but in my opinion i should've gone more but my parents didn't seem to think the same. Both of those times the doctors told me I was a little overweight. They didn't tell me i was obese or morbidly obese which thank god because I would've broken down and kms (not really but even thinking of getting told that makes me anxious).

They did tell me to start eating more food other than fried food and other type of stuff. After the meeting, my parents started scolding me for embarrassing them in front of the doctor, but all i did was being brutally honest with her! I told her how my parents keep buying flavored water which has at least 2 stamps in it (The government makes it so that companies have to put stamps on their products saying what's exactly in it), so the only source of natural water is the one we boil ourselves, which i drink every time i do exercise. And also how the dinner mom makes is sausages and french fries, it's quick and easy. This last week I've eating that dinner two times and on the weekend i ate fast food for lunch, on Saturday and Sunday which means TWICE. By the end I was so worried i might have to double my exercise next week (so now) to balance it off. I felt really fat on monday so uh not a good feeling.

For my part, I've had this discussion with my P.E teacher, and she agreed to make me play basketball more so i can both exercise at home and more at school other than P.E class. I've also done the effort of eating vegetables (which due to my autism it was very hard at first but I've gotten the hang of it!) And doing more exercise at school.

But even when mom agreed to start feeding me more healthy foods, it's like she gave up. She's gone back to giving me the same lazy foods that are filled with cholesterol and grease, and every time i eat those it makes me feel worried. Tonight was one of those dinners and all i want is to get it out of my system (literally).

I told mom she can't keep feeding me like this if she wants me to lose weight, and she responds by saying "but what can we feed you? You don't eat anything else" which? Fucking excuse me? WHAT DO YOU THINK I'VE BEEN DOING FOR THE PAST MONTHS??? She always says that, it's like whenever i eat entire salads she fucking ignores me or something! It makes me feel so angry, fuck my efforts i guess???

I got more angry, but she's my mom, so i decided to shut up. Since i was getting ready to bed once i got comfortable she told me "I love you", which is a normal habit we have every time i go to bed. She says "i love you" i say it back. But this time I didn't, and she just sighed and closed the door.

Right now i'm really mad at her, but i recognize that maybe not saying "I love you" back was a bit too much, but if i have to stop saying it at all for her to understand I want to lose weight, then so be it. If she doesn't want to recognize im the only one doing the effort, whatever. I'm thinking of starting to refuse her food to make myself clear.

What are these acronyms?

[silverryuan]

Azul Ashengrotto with a Bad Genius reader (Part 2)

Thank you for supporting me throughout the year I've been in Tumblr, you guys. Unfortunately, I have to focus on my studies in the meantime. But I'll post small fics before I can post longer ones when I have the time... I'll be busy for a while.

Warning: Slight Swearing, Slight Angst

• ..... Life is not fair, you know?

• The same goes for schools and businesses. Unfair. The only thing that matters is the one who gets the most benefit. The teachers nurture the students with higher social status and leave the stunted students with lower social status in the dust. The businessmen only invest in partnerships that are rich and terminate contracts with failing partnerships. Why? It's simple, really...

• If you are smart, attractive, and confident, you will be admired and included. If you are dumb, ugly, and clumsy, you will be hated and casted out.

• JUST. LIKE. THAT GROSS. STUPID. AND USELESS. FUCKING. OCTOPUS.

• You are just a student. His student in his dorm. This school you're enrolled in is only an institution for only talented mages. With your average magical abilities, surely you cannot be a hindrance to his objectives in life... Right?

• ... Azul was wrong. Dead wrong. You, unfortunately, have become a nuisance.

• He's underestimated you. How can that be? He's always two steps ahead of... Everyone... Everyone but not you. How can you do this to him?! How ungrateful can you be?! You're the one who's at fault, not him! YOU TOOK HIS PLACE IN THE RANKS.

• ..................Just how did it come to this?

• ................................................................................................................................................................

"...zu........Azu.....Azul......zul................"

...?

"AZUL!"

! ! !

????: "Azul, why aren't you awake yet? You should be eating breakfast at this time."

Azul: "W-wha...?... Jade? What are you doing in my room?"

Jade: "To wake you up. Hm...You always wake up to your alarm. How strange....This is unlike you. Are you feeling alright?"

Azul: "I'm fine... Wait, what do you mean by "at this time?""

Jade: "It's already 8:25 in the morning-"

Azul: "SEVENS! WHY DIDN'T YOU WAKE ME UP SOONER?! WE'RE LATE FOR CLASS!"

• Azul woke up late this morning, which is unusual for the silver-haired man. Jade and Floyd had those smug look on their face while watching him eat breakfast. Turns out the suave Azul isn't so suave after all, Floyd teased him. Perhaps the workload of managing Mostro Lounge the other day did a number on poor Azul? Jade also chided with the teasing. Preposterous! He isn't one to get tired of reading contracts! Waking up a little late this morning was definitely just a minor inconvenience!

• Azul quickly took a bath and changed to his uniform. He saw you rushing out of your room with Grim, looks like you also woke up late. You both greet each other and head to your classrooms together with the Tweels. The examinations are coming up which means that Azul will be hauling contracts after contracts as well as doubling, no, tripling the amount of students that are indebted to him! This semester, he's aiming for more than 200 students!

• For the few weeks of the examinations drawing near, he's contracted students from almost every dormitory. The other dorm leaders can't do anything about it because of their own dormmates' stupidity. A few more days before the exam, Azul noticed that some students are cautiously avoiding him for some reason. This has never happened before... Did he not add the right amount of charm? Did they see through his facade? That cannot be...

• He has never been more frustrated and puzzled in his entire school life here. The thought about it nearly stressed him out enough to leave wrinkles from the constant furrowing of his eyebrows. As he sat beside the counter of the lounge waiting for Jade to finish his drink, he saw you approaching him, dragging those awfully heavy eyebags of yours too. Jade offered a cup of coffee on the house and you took it, knowing that you'll be working on the exams with little to no sleep.

• The lounge's atmosphere was quiet. Of course, every student is busy studying their night away which means that this is the calm before the storm. This also means that you won't have time to rest after the exams when the lounge will be packed by students. Azul probably has to give you credit for staying up late to clean the tables even if the lounge is empty. After you drank the coffee Jade made for you, you slumped down like a tired Tumblr writer who chose to continue this part instead of working on class projects all-nighter.

Azul: "Good evening, BadGenius! Yuu. Rough day?"

BadGenius! Yuu: "Yeah... Ruggie and everyone can't work because of the exams. Floyd won't do shit. And Grim is too stubborn to study. How's business going for you?"

Azul: "It's going well, actually. If you don't mind me asking, why on Twisted Wonderland are you staying up late at this ungodly hour?"

BadGenius! Yuu: "For the after-exams bonus, duh."

Azul: "That will have to wait the next day."

BadGenius! Yuu: "Fine......Can I ask you something?"

Azul: "Oh?"

BadGenius! Yuu: "It's not for a contract or anything! Just asking for small advice."

Azul: "Advice? From me?"

BadGenius! Yuu: "Yes. Is it no good?"

Azul: "Hmm... From what I've observed, you've been working more efficiently than our workers..."

Jade: "Oya 😊?"

Azul: "Ahem! Aside from Jade. So I think I can partake some knowledge of... What is it about?"

BadGenius! Yuu: "Well, it's just... What do you do when you... Start a business but feel a little bit guilty about it? Like, what you're doing might be wrong and you'll end up rock-bottom if it continues?"

Azul: "...It depends. Usually when a business wants to expand, they must make multiple plans to avoid or to take risks."

BadGenius! Yuu: "Plans? Risks?"

Azul: "Yes. It involves taking a small step to further expand the business. Usually starts from small to big. Always have layered and detailed plans. You consider the threats, analyze the danger, re-evaluate your advantages and weaknesses when it comes to that threat, and then initiate an advantage to show that you have the upper hand. However, risking something without proper calculation, that one step can cause you to lose everything and start back to square one. It's like a game."

BadGenius! Yuu: "I see... Thank you for your advice, dorm leader. I owe you one."

Azul: "... No need. Its basic knowledge in business. Think of it as a reward... But if I may ask, why do you ask of me that--"

Floyd: "JAAADEE!!! AZUUUL!!!"

• The moody eel barged through the doors before Azul could ask you about his advice. You politely bowed to say goodnight and went to bed. You couldn't get a wink of sleep that night. You kept thinking over Azul's advice, it might help you with your struggles.

• 24 hours before the exam, the silver-haired man counted all the contracts he's hoarded. He couldn't stop thinking about your request for his advice relating to business. What were you even going to do with it? His frustration only grew when he counted the total amount of contracts... Only 185? He could've sworn he talked to students more than that. He doesn't remember them rejecting his offer... Something feels wrong. Should he talk to some students more?

• He groaned in exhaustion and massaged his temples. Jade is in kitchen making tea, Floyd is probably in his room since there are no one to squeeze. He contemplated on going to bed early and study for the night but stopped in his tracks when he heard voices outside of the room...

• Hold on... Students? In the lounge?? Before the exam??? He rushed outside to see a large number of students from different dormitories sitting on the tables, enjoying their drinks. He sees Jade and Floyd serving drinks to the supposedly-studying students. He noticed the students glancing at him and fidgeted. Some students suddenly opened the menu to read it and some not even making eye contact with him when he passed by. A familiar whine from a flaming cat reached his ears and his head turned to the entrance to see those troublemaker friends of yours.

Grim: "Fnyaagh... It's so tiring! BadGenius! Yuu keeps insisting that I should study harder. I'm trying! How am I gonna do that 😾?"

Deuce: "Stop complaining, Grim. They said they'd help us, so the least we could do is memorize half of it."

Ace: "Seriously, Juice? Who would have time to memorize all those piano lessons in one night?"

Deuce: "Ugh! It's Deuce!"

• ... Piano lessons? What?

Ace: "Oh crap...! Hey Azul-senpai! Uhh... Is BadGenius! Yuu here?"

Azul: "Oh? And why do you want to know that? You know you shouldn't be entering a dorm uninvited."

Deuce: "U-umm...!"

Azul: "If you're just here to order, that'll be-"

BadGenius! Yuu: "Good evening, dorm leader. I forgot to tell you that I have friends visiting me for piano lessons. Please excuse us. We'll try to make little noise as possible."

Azul: "Ah, I see. So that explains the music coming from your room. If they make too much racket, I'm afraid we'll have to throw them out."

BadGenius! Yuu: "Yes, dorm leader. Goodnight."

• Once Azul was in the ADeuce and Grim's line of sight, they greeted him. Azul was suspicious of them for a moment before you intervened and then they made a beeline to your room. If he strained his ears hard enough, he might hear sighs of relief from the three as they walked through the hallway. The students in the lounge relaxed a bit and went back to their ongoing chatter.

• How curious... He knows you liked to play piano. But repeating the same sequence over and over again? Especially when your friends visit you every time?

• He felt like he needed to confirm something and approached Jade. He asked how many students have entered the establishment. To the silver-haired man's surprise, Jade answered that there are 40 students. 40 STUDENTS. He observed the features of the nearby groups of students and finally, he recognized them... THOSE ARE THE STUDENTS THAT HE HASN'T MADE A DEAL WITH.

• The more students he observed, the more memories come flooding back to him... He remembers this beastman, he was in his class. Azul tried to offer him a contract but he fled without glancing back... He remembers that student, too. Azul encountered him in the hallway but he avoided him before Azul could speak... He remembers him, too. He went the other way... And him, as well... And him... And him...! ALL OF THE STUDENTS HERE AVOIDED HIS OFFER.

• Azul feels like there's a plan at hand being set here. He doesn't want to assume and just rely on that alone, but... You've been acting distant lately ever since he gave you that advice and... There were other students visiting the lounge in search of you despite the exam's date drawing near... Are you...? No, you're an honor student. You can't possibly.... Unless...?

Azul: "... Jade."

Jade: "Yes?"

Azul: "Observe BadGenius! Yuu. There's something going on here."

Jade: "I thought so. How long?"

Azul: "Until the exams are over."

• ... Don't be mad at him once he learns your secret. You cheated, after all.

To be Continued...

[chelseachilly]

i want your midnights

pairing: reader x ben chilwell summary: sequel to i watched it begin again - a month after your amazing first date with ben, you decide to surprise him by showing up at the same new year's party...only to soon wonder if you made a mistake and misinterpreted his feelings for you? warnings: none word count: 2.9k

author's note: a lot of people asked for a part 2 to begin again so i decided to write this little new year's fic! i planned on getting it done by the new year but life got super busy, so i hope you don't mind it nearly two weeks later haha 💗✨

-

Just over a month after your first date with Ben, you find yourself standing in front of his best friend’s doorstep with shaking hands and your heart thumping in your chest. 

Harvey is hosting a New Year’s Eve party, and although you were invited, you weren’t planning on going until today. You spent the holidays up at your parent’s house a few hours away and were planning on spending New Year’s there as well, but Mia spent the past few days convincing you to come and eventually wore you down. 

Truthfully, the only reason you were hesitant about coming is that you knew Ben would be there. It’s not that you don’t want to see him - quite the opposite, actually. The past month since you started seeing each other has been wonderful. You’ve been on several amazing dates, including a couple that ended with you spending the night. It’s been fun and passionate and exciting and unlike anything you’ve ever experienced before. 

You also haven’t fully defined anything yet, still waiting for the right opportunity to have that conversation. Although you’re certain about your feelings for him, you don’t want to rush into anything after the mess of your last relationship, nor do you want to scary Ben away with asking him to commit too early. 

Which is why you’re now questioning your decision to show up here, and even more so your decision to surprise him. It felt like a good idea when he FaceTimed you on Christmas and seemed disappointed you weren’t coming, so you swore Mia to secrecy, but now that you’re actually here, it’s feeling a bit presumptuous that he would want you to show up unannounced. 

It’s too late to turn back now, though, as the door swings open and Mia and Harvey are pulling you inside.

“I’m so glad you came, babe!” Mia exclaims, hugging you tight. “You look fit as fuck.”

You’re in a little black dress and matching heels, and though you felt good about how you look when you left the house, you’re feeling more and more self-conscious.

“Thanks, you look gorgeous as well,” you smile back at her. “Thanks for having me, Harvey.”

“Of course, Y/N, I reckon Chilly will be thanking me too,” Harvey laughs. “He’s over there somewhere, he’ll be buzzing when he sees you.”

You can feel the blush creeping on your cheeks as your eyes scan the room looking for Ben. You’re not sure if you’re more nervous or excited to see him, but when you finally spot him, you know it’s the latter. He’s standing there in a group of people, smiling and chatting away with a drink in his hand, looking so gorgeous it’s honestly unfair. The same butterflies that have appeared in your stomach from the first time you laid eyes on him and every time since begin to flutter. 

It only takes a few moments for him to spot you over the shoulder of one of his friends, and you watch him do a double take before his eyes widen and a huge grin appears on his face. 

He sets his drink down and jogs over to your group, his eyes never leaving yours.

“Y/N! You came!” he exclaims, and you don’t get a chance to respond before he’s pulling you into a hug.

You hug him back, burying your face in his chest and breathing in his scent. It’s only been a week since you last saw him, but you haven’t stopped thinking about him for a single moment of that time apart. You were trying to enjoy the holiday season and time with your family, but your mind was replaying the sound of Ben’s laughter and the feeling of his kisses all over your body.

“Yeah, my plans changed,” you say with a smile as you pull back to look at him. 

“I’m so happy to see you,” Ben says, his hand lingering on your waist before dropping to his side, and you immediately miss his touch. “Can I get you a drink?”

“Yeah, that’d be great.”

You’re hoping that he’ll whisk you away somewhere for a few minutes, as you’re desperately wanting to kiss him right now but not sure you’re at the stage where you can casually do that in front of loads of people. 

“Vodka soda, right?” Ben asks, and you nod. 

You love that he knows your drink order already, but you can’t help but feel a tinge of disappointment as he walks away, leaving you to chat with your friends.

He returns a minute later with drinks for both of you, passing you the glass and clinking it with his own. 

“Thanks, Ben,” you say with a small smile, taking a sip and hoping the alcohol gives you a bit of courage. 

The four of you chat for a bit, catching up on how all your Christmases were, and you and Ben occasionally meet each other’s gaze and exchange a soft smile. You’ve spent quite a bit of time with Ben by now, but it’s a different dynamic being in a group, even if they are your closest friends. You’re having a nice time, but you’re longing for an opportunity to get him alone - not only to kiss him senseless, but to talk and maybe even define your situation a bit more.

After a while, an upbeat song comes on and you all head to the main living room where most of the partygoers are to dance. It’s fairly crowded and you end up standing close enough to Ben that you can feel his breath on the back of your neck and his chest brushing up against your back. You don’t pull away, enjoying the closeness, but still wishing he would wrap his arms around you properly. 

You turn back to look at him after a minute or two and your heart flutters when you find him looking right back at you. You wonder if he’s also waiting for an opportunity to be alone with you - and then you wonder if anyone would notice if you took him by the hand right now and led him into some quiet corner of the house. 

“Y/N…” Ben begins to say, inching closer toward you, but he’s cut off by a small squeal from behind you. 

You turn to see a rather large wine stain on Mia’s white dress from someone bumping into her. 

“Shit, this was expensive,” she sighs. “And I don’t have anything to change into.”

“You can wear something of mine,” Harvey says quickly, trying to help, but Mia immediately shoots him a glare. 

“Babe, it’s New Year’s, I don’t want to be walking around in your trackies and a baggy t-shirt-“

“Hey, it’s alright,” you interrupt, setting your drink down and grabbing Mia’s hands. “We can get the stain out. C’mon, I’ll help you.”

You abandon the guys to deal with this fashion crisis, gathering the supplies you need in the kitchen before heading upstairs to the bathroom. As you’re blotting Mia’s dress with dish soap and hydrogen peroxide, a trick your mum taught you, she takes the opportunity to interrogate you.

“So, are you finally going to tell Ben you want to make it official?” she asks, raising an eyebrow. 

“Maybe,” you say, a small grin tugging at your lips. “I want to. I’m just still a bit nervous. After everything that happened with Jack, I don’t want to get hurt like that again. And I already like Ben so much, which is terrifying.”

“He obviously likes you a lot too,” Mia assures you. “Harvey says he talks about you all the time, and did you see his face when you turned up earlier? I bet he’s just waiting for you to bring it up.”

“Yeah, I suppose,” you agree, finishing up your removal of the stain until there’s no evidence of the wine spill remaining on Mia’s dress. “There you go, good as new.”

“You’re a lifesaver, babe,” Mia smiles, pulling you into a tight hug. “I’m going to dry this off a bit, but you should go down and spend time with your man.” 

“He’s not my man,” you remind her.

“Not yet!”

You roll your eyes affectionately as you leave Mia to blow dry her dress and head back downstairs to the party, feeling slightly more confident after the chat with your best friend. 

You’re ready to march right up to Ben and finally tell him that you’re ready to make things official, that you haven’t been able to get him out of your head since your first date and that you’re totally, completely falling for him.

As you descend the staircase, your eyes scan the room for Ben until you spot him - talking to an insanely beautiful girl in the corner of the room. 

Your heart drops to your stomach as you see how he’s smiling at her while she squeezes his arm and says something that makes him laugh.

You feel like a complete idiot. 

You shouldn’t have come here tonight expecting him to be waiting around, hoping for you to turn up. You haven’t had any conversations about being exclusive, and he’s a bloody gorgeous footballer who could get any girl at this party. He could’ve invited this girl himself for all you know. 

You just got caught up in the excitement of seeing him and all the feelings that have been swirling around in your chest since you met him, not thinking about the reality of the situation. It’s been a month - an absolutely wonderful, magical month, yes, but only one month. You were a fool for getting so ahead of yourself when, truthfully, you don’t know if Ben even wants a serious relationship. You were under the impression that’s where this was going, but he never explicitly said anything.

With your eyes stinging with tears and a sudden urge to be anywhere but here, you decide to slip out the back door to the small garden behind the house. You know you could just go home, but it’s nearly midnight and you don’t want Mia to see you leaving and spoil her New Year’s too. 

You’ll just have to stand out here, shivering in nothing but your dress, until the clock strikes twelve and you can slip out without raising too much suspicion. Maybe you can get Mia to tell Ben you have food poisoning, or something - it’s less embarrassing than the truth. 

Your mind is racing with thoughts of all the moments you and Ben have shared over the past weeks, all the times you felt in your bones that this was going to be something real. 

As the clock on your phone reminds you it’s creeping closer to midnight, you hear the sound of the back door opening and closing. Assuming it’s someone coming out to smoke, you quickly wipe the tears from your cheeks and plaster on a smile as you try to think of a reason you’re standing out here alone.

Instead, you’re met with the familiar pair of blue eyes that make your heart stop beating for a moment.

Ben.

“Y/N, I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” he says with a small sigh of relief. “What are you doing out here? It’s almost midnight!”

“Just needed a bit of air,” you respond, trying to keep your voice from trembling. 

“Are you alright?” he asks as he approaches you, his eyes filled with concern. “You must be freezing, love, here-“

Before you can respond, he’s already shrugging off his jacket and draping it over your bare shoulders, just like he did on your first date. This time, he lingers afterward and gently tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. The sweet gesture, combined with the way he’s looking at you with such tenderness and admiration, makes tears begin to build in your eyes once more. 

You never should’ve let yourself believe that he would want to be with someone like you. If you weren’t good enough for your shitty ex, how could you ever be enough for someone as wonderful as Ben?

“Love, you’re worrying me, did something happen?” Ben asks, his use of the term of endearment only making things worse.

You take a step back from him, shaking your head.

“I shouldn’t have come tonight,” you murmur. “I mean, I shouldn’t have assumed that you would want me to come. I think I just misread things between us and I’m really sorry that I-“

“Y/N, what are you talking about?” Ben interjects, his face full of confusion. “Of course I wanted you to come. I was so happy when you showed up, where is this coming from?”

“I saw you talking to that girl inside and it seemed like there was something going on, which is totally fine, I know we aren’t exclusive or anything-“

“Shit, Y/N, that was just my friend Hannah,” Ben says quickly. “She’s actually the girlfriend of one of my best mates, you remember Anish?”

Slowly processing his words, you recall briefly meeting Anish when he popped by Ben’s once while you were over. You also remember him mentioning his girlfriend. 

“I’m so sorry you thought something was happening there, I wouldn’t do that,” he says sincerely. “And not just because you came tonight, for the record. I don’t think I’ve actually even properly looked at another girl since I met you.”

Your cheeks flush red, both at his words and the embarrassment you’re feeling for overreacting to the situation. You stare down at your shoes, unable to meet his gaze, until he steps closer to you and gently cups your face, forcing you to look at him. 

“Y/N, I like you so much. You’re the only girl I want to ring in the New Year with, the only girl I want to be with period,” Ben says, stroking your cheek with his thumb. “I’m sorry I didn’t make that clear earlier, I just thought after everything that happened with your ex you might not want to rush into something serious.”

Your heart swells with affection and you reach up to hold his forearm, both for stability since your knees have gone weak and because you need to touch him. 

“I only want to be with you, too,” you whisper, afraid your voice will falter if you speak too loudly. “And I’m sorry I made assumptions. I guess my ex did mess with my head a little bit.”

“Well, he’s a dickhead who didn’t deserve you,” Ben says, making you laugh softly. “But don’t apologize to me. We’ll just be more honest with each other from now on, yeah?”

You nod and smile at him until you’re interrupted by a flurry of activity from inside the house. Through the window, you can see people beginning to crowd together in the living room to count down to midnight. Glancing at Ben’s watch, you can see there’s only a minute left. 

“Do you want to go inside with everyone else?” you ask him.

Ben just smiles and shakes his head. “I’d rather stay out here and celebrate with my girlfriend, if that’s okay with you?”

Your heart races and your breath catches in your throat at his casual statement, the word replaying in your mind from the moment it leaves his lips.

He looks at you a bit nervously, perhaps concerned that you’ll be overwhelmed by this new title, but your lips spread into a grin.

“That sounds perfect.” 

Before Ben can respond, the people inside begin to count down from ten. He pulls you closer by the waist, thumbs rubbing circles on your hips, and you place a hand on his stubbly cheek. 

As the countdown draws closer to the end, you marvel at how safe and content you feel right now in Ben’s arms. You think about how this year was one of the hardest of your life, and how you never could’ve predicted that it would end with you being this happy, with the most wonderful man who taught you how to trust again. Who taught you how to fall in love again, even if it’s a bit too soon to say those words to him. 

“Three…two…one…”

The chorus of people shouting “happy new year!” is muffled as Ben presses his lips to yours, making you melt into him. You wrap your arms around his neck, and he sighs into the kiss when you sink your fingers into his hair. 

When his tongue slides into your mouth, you respond with equal passion, kissing him with everything you have until you’re both left breathless.

When you break apart, Ben rests his forehead against yours. Your eyes flutter open slowly and you’re met with the most amazing sight you’ve ever seen in your life.

There are fireworks above you in every direction, a spectacle of light and colour, but you’re completely enraptured by the blue eyes and gorgeous smile in front of you.

“Happy New Year, love,” Ben whispers, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead.

It’s going to be a very Happy New Year indeed - maybe the happiest you’ve ever had. And as you lean in to kiss your new boyfriend again and again, you think about how despite all the pain you went through, you wouldn’t have changed a thing about the last one either. After all, it led you to this moment - it led you to Ben. 

“Happy New Year, Ben.”

-

i really hope you liked this part 2! 💙🎆 please feel free to send me an ask or leave a comment if you enjoyed, i really appreciate them!

[38sr]

I know this is gonna be a strange one, but I do have an industry question;

I've been looking for a job for the last 4 years post-grad, I've tried every bit of advice I've gotten over my 6 years in school and 4 years out. Is it too late for me?? Or more so what advice would you have at this point?? I'm starting to feel really negatively about this venture, and getting a day job has been just as difficult;;

Hello Sky! Hope it's okay to call you that. Ah post-grad job hunting.....I don't miss that period of my life at all. Before I begin, just want to preface that what I say going forward is strictly from my perspective/experience. I am not the absolute of the animation industry so if what I say doesn't align with you, you do not have to follow it haha. Alright, advice for post grad job hunting.... Well, I think I want to start off giving a bit of context for the animation landscape these past 4 years that has been rough for everyone (trust me it'll come back around to your question): 1.) COVID Pandemic

This one might be a confusing for some people because when COVID hit in 2020, the only facet of entertainment that was able to keep going was animation. If you remember, during this time streaming numbers went up because people were stuck at home, every studio was launching their own streaming platform (HBO Max, Disney+, Peacock, etc.) and celebrities were given animated shows because live-action had stopped dead in its tracks. This period allowed artists outside of California state to get hired because what's the point of capping the talent to the local area when we're already working remotely? In short, it was a boom. But an exponential boom rather than a gradual boom. You never wanna grow too fast because you'll crash out quicker (and harder) which leads us to our second factor.... 2.) Netflix's first ever round of layoffs in summer 2022, streaming actually isn't profitable?????

In short, this year is when Netflix's growth finally stopped and was the beginning of The Great Animation Contraction. Other studios who were looking to Netflix as a the new model of distributing/creating entertainment had realized Netflix wasn't invincible. As well as their business model. So naturally, they got scared and and take action (aka layoffs). I was affected by these layoffs while working at Marvel Studios and many artists got laid off at studios to save face from the mistake that was streaming (though at this point studios were still double downing on it). Also, around this time live-action was slowly restarting thanks to vaccines and social distancing protocols. So those celebrity studded animated productions dwindled down (and also they caused so much havoc for us animation workers because most of those celebrities had no animation production experience). Which now leads us to...

3.) Mergers everywhere! Yeah, uh, mergers fucking suck. People kept losing their jobs because companies kept absorbing into each other and multiplying their debts to ungodly dollars amounts! Apparently no one took a math class and understood if you multiply any number by zero you will always get a zero. These merger also caused more shows to get shelved and canned, making the job market even slimmer. And by then we get to 2023 and the....

4.) WGA, SAG and TAG Contract Negotiations By now, studios have realized that streaming is losing them money because it costs a butt load of money to not only create a streaming site, but also maintain it, update it, create new media for it, acquire established franchises for it, and maintain the current library. Streaming shows aren't being advertised like they used to on cable so shows don't last beyond one or two seasons. Worker contracts are becoming shorter and shorter (I had a co-worker who had a 3 month contract! Isn't that insane?). And what happens in the midst of this streaming meltdown?

WGA, SAG and TAG are gearing up for their contract negotiations. And as we know SAG (actors) and WGA (writers) did strike which good for them! But now there are no live-action jobs and once again, animation (TAG) is the only one running because our negotiations don't officially start until 2024. At this point, so many animated productions have been cancelled left and right for the sake of "saving money and cutting costs". And the effects were very much being felt in the animation work force. Some animation workers were starting to leave the state of California to more affordable cities, some getting day jobs as baristas, hell some leaving the industry all together. It didn't help that studios were kind of withholding production greenlights 'cause 1) they're greedy corporations 2) these strikes were putting pressure on them. And when we did enter 2024 for our contract negotiations, that contraction was at the tightest. The job market for animation had become so bone dry that you have director-level talent taking entry level jobs to stay afloat. But because of that new, emerging artists are blocked out from breaking in. Anytime a job listing would go up people would go in a frenzy and try every thing they could to get the job. That's how little shows were in production this year specifically. Of course, by now it is public that TAG has ratified the contract (meaning we will not strike). But up until then, studios were quite literally waiting with baited breath for the duration of negotiations. A ton of stuff was in development but nothing was getting a greenlight in fear of a strike. So many animation workers at this point have been laid off for at least 2 years, got priced out of LA county, or got so burned by the industry that they left for a more sustainable paycheck. At this point of the post you're probably thinking, "Why is she talking about all of this and not answering my question?"

And the reason for that is because I what to highlight you didn't miss your chance. You unfortunately graduated at a time where the circumstances were not good for breaking in for the past 4 years.

I'm not saying this to deter you from animation either. I just want to be transparent and honest about the current state of animation because it really has been bleak for the past 4 years. So it's not your fault but rather the industry was just in a seriously bad drought. Both emerging and veteran artists have been struggling to find work and when they do it didn't even last for 6 months. Hopefully, with the renewed contract studios will start greenlighting productions again so everyone isn't fighting for one job opening. But I can't tell 'cause I am not Raven Baxter haha. But what advice can I give during this tough time? Start developing your own projects. Things may be pretty dry right now but now is the time when you can create and develop your own original stuff that can be used in your portfolio. Short or long form, showing progress videos, just create. Because once you start working it's gonna be hard to find that personal project time (trust me I'm going through that right now haha). Also, you'd be surprised how just doing your own thing can garner the attention of someone who does have the power to hire you. How do you think I got to work on the shows I have in the animation industry? Almost all of my jobs happened because I was just creating my own thing and it just happened to match the sensibilities of a show produced by a Hollywood studio. And if I had any additional advice... it would probably be don't think that Hollywood is the only way you can tell your stories.

This one is more of....a recent revelation I've had after going through a pretty bad work experience but Hollywood isn't the only way you can be a storyteller. Whether it's comics, games, streaming, animation, or film....the Hollywood system isn't the end all be all. And by Hollywood system I'm referring to breaking into a big studio like Disney, Nick or something and trying to get your own movie/tv show to win an award or something. That system often works for a certain group of people and fails other groups. That's why I say develop and create your own thing because you might find something that fits your creative voice more than Disney or any other Hollywood studio. Maybe that's inconsiderate of me to say as someone who's been incredibly lucky to work in the animation industry for almost 8 years now....but I still wanna be honest that there are other avenues that isn't the Hollywood way. All in all, please don't give up or beat yourself up. The current state of animation within America was out your control and resulted in many artists struggling to find a job. You aren't too late. In fact, I would say now is your time to do your thing in preparation for when that hiring boom comes again (or you can just take another route to tell your stories). I hope that answered your question!

[burnin0akleaves]

Here's the draw six fanarts meme I decided to participate in 4 years late

In true burnin0akleaves spirit I didn't ask anyone for requests and just went ahead with all of the characters that have been the most impactful/important to me, so there is a high chance you've seen me draw these guys before.

By the way, unlike the rest of the blorbos here Siyra is an original character and belongs to @nineteen-rats!

Close-ups and rambles under the cut because it's my blog

Ohh the Dark Urge. My latest obsession. I love his design so much, I'm a slut for white/red color schemes, but I feel like it's a double edged sword that takes you out of the horrors he's commiting at the same time?

Durge is supposed to be murder incarnate, someone that does every fucked up thing related to death imaginable; but when you see a giant lizard eating babies or humping corpses, it dulls the effect a bit since you automatically view it as an animalistic act. Dragonborns are obviously a fully sentient humanoid race in-universe; but when the violence you're seeing is already toeing the line between horrifying and hilarious, seeing a scalie doing it just pushes it over the line. I still think it works really well most of the time and I'm very glad that this is the default durge we get! It's just funny to me that when you choose to play as the giant lizard, the dark and disgusting horror story turns into the hilariously edgy bloodfest.

Reminding everyone again that Siyra belongs to @nineteen-rats! I love this man so so so much. I am the Siyra fandom. I am the number one Siyra fanartist. He did nothing wrong and I will defend his every decision. I also hope terrible horrors befall him and that his actions keep him awake for the rest of his life. Pookie bear xoxo

COMING IN WITH THE STEEL CHAIR IT'S WILL TREATY

He is on my mind, always. I don't talk about him as much but he's probably still the fictional character who had the most impact on me as a person.

PATROCLUS! PATROCLUS!!! SIR I'M YOUR NUMBER ONE FAN!!

I got into patrochilles and the Illiad in general thanks to "The Song of Achilles". It was one of the first queer books I got to have in real life and the prose captivated me instantly, I still have it on my shelf. After reading the Illiad itself however, I hate that book so much. I'm sorry it's genuinely beautiful and I get why people like it but I can never forgive that horrible Patroclus characterization after seeing what he was originally like. Achilles too for that matter.

Hades swooped me up into its arms like I was a sick baby bird and nursed me back to health with its portrayal of the two though and for that I am forever grateful. I can't wait for Hades 2, death to Chronos.

God Half-Life is such an important series for me. My dad would let me play through a few levels since I was a child, he grew up with the games, but I REALLY played through the entire series one summer shortly before dad moved out. He was there watching me play most of it and getting to enjoy someone actually translate the game's dialogue for him for the first time.

Gordon may not speak once but I like the hints of his personality we get throughout the games, most importantly from the way Alyx talks to/about him. I have my own characterization of him obviously but I do really think you can get a good understanding of the kind of man he is meant to be in-universe just by paying attention to his surroundings. Also another reason the games were so immersive for me is that I'm just as in love with Alyx as Gordon is. I must have let her get hit only once or twice the entire time just out of how protective I was over her. I'd topple the entire Combine empire just for her hand in marriage. I rewatched the ending of Half Life Alyx recently and cried.

I read the entirety of LOTR in one week in 11th grade, carrying that damn brick of a book everyday to school and back. I'm so glad I did honestly. Frodo and Sam are my important little guys and I find myself going back to them when I need something to calm me down in a way no other series except LOTR can. I've read most of Tolkien's work at this point, but nothing captivated me like those two little hobbits. Everytime I read a bad take about their relationship I sketch them making out.

People liked seeing my drawing process before so here's the original sketch and the little notes I wrote to myself trying to set the mood. I followed like half of them.

[barbieaiden]

1. [A month ago]

2. Jordan: Hey, Sam. How are you holding up?

3. Jordan: ...I brought you coffee.

Sam: Thank you.

4. Jordan: Do you want to go home for the night? Sleep in your own bed? I could drive you home, pick you up on my way to work tomorrow.

Sam: I think I'll stay here.

Jordan: Alright.

5. Sam: I keep thinking... [Sigh] It's so stupid.

Jordan: Go on.

Sam: I keep thinking I should call Aiden. So he can help. But obviously I can't, because... I just... I don't know what to do. Nothing feels real. It's been two days and it feels like ten years.

6. Jordan: The waiting is the worst part. I waited for my mom's death for months. You can't cope when you don't know what you're coping with.

Sam: Months?

Jordan: She wasn't in a coma, just terminally ill. For all we know Aiden might wake up tomorrow.

Sam: Or die.

7. Jordan: As much as I wish I could I can't tell you that he's going to be fine. And I can't replace him, obviously, but I am here if you need anything.

8. Sam: Thank you.

10. Aiden: Jordan, you can't tell me you spent a whole day with a man you're not interested in. That is not friends with benefits, that's practically married.

11. Kell: I'd tell you and Zach to get a room but you already have, like, a million fucking times.

Jordan: What I'm getting from this conversation is that neither of you have ever had any friends.

Aiden: It's true. The only man I've ever spent time with is Sam.

12. Jordan: Even if I wanted to I don't have time for a relationship.

Kell: Dude, you are literally already spending, like, all your free time with him.

Aiden: If you and Zach get engaged we can have a double wedding!

Lucas: You should become a tattoo artist instead, Jordan. No 55 hour shifts and you still get to stab people with needles.

Jordan: I happen to like my job.

Lucas: You complain about it every single time I see you.

Jordan: I find your obsession with needles slightly disturbing.

Lucas: I guess I like the artistic part too.

Aiden: That's why I let Michael do all my piercings.

Lucas: I'm such...

15. Aiden: Sam?

16. Aiden: Are you okay?

Sam: Mhm.

Aiden: Are you sure?

Sam: Just... tired.

Aiden: We can go home if you want to.

Sam: It's fine.

Aiden: I wouldn't mind.

Sam: Really, Aiden, it's fine.

18. Kell: You two are literally worse than that one high school couple making out in the corridors.

19. Aiden: You can't say that, that's so homophobic.

Kell: Your dad didn't think I was very homophobic.

Aiden: [Exaggerated gasp] Kell!

Kell: Too far?

Aiden: No, Kell, by all means, if you want to go over to Nettlefield right now and have sex with my actually homophobic father, go right ahead.

Kell: Dude. I'm sorry, okay?

20. Kell: Find something to eat with me? Please?

Aiden: Sure.

Kell: Sam, don't look at me like that, we're not going to smoke weed.

Sam: That was not my issue with this conversation and you saying that unprompted makes me think you are going to smoke weed.

Aiden: I've never even seen weed. Drugs are bad, or whatever. And so illegal.

Kell: Exactly. We're law-abiding citizens.

21. Aiden: Seriously. No weed. Promise.

Sam: Okay.

22. Aiden: Are you sure you're okay?

Sam: Yes, Aiden.

Aiden: Just... tell me if you want to go home. Okay?

Sam: I will.