#thailand where the equal rights at?? look at what time it is...

[scarefox]

Will all the Domundi couples get married at the end? 🤔

But it’s also kinda funny. I mean am not into marriage plots but I see what they are doing and I am here for that ❤

[lurkingshan]

hi there i hope you don't mind me asking for recs! this might be a bit too specific but do you know any (good) bls with age gap? i've only watched old fashion cupcake and minato's laundromat and i'd love to see more of that dynamic. have a good day!

Hi anon! I am delighted to talk about age gap bls with you. A few notes about how I define this:

I think of a true age gap romance as one where the narrative is at least in part driven by the age difference, not one where the characters are just incidentally different ages but it doesn't really matter to the story

The age gap needs to be significant enough that it puts the characters in different phases of life, so something like a college freshman dating a senior doesn't count

I also don't count supernatural stories where there's a massive age gap as a function of one of the characters being immortal, that's a totally different genre and narrative intent IMO

I will only include a show in this list if the age gap is between the main pair or a very significant side pair who has a lot of story time

So this means I would not be including shows like My Tooth Your Love or The New Employee where there is technically an age gap but everyone is adults and it doesn't really matter to the story. Or shows like Cutie Pie and Love in the Air, which do play with power dynamics somewhat based in age but where the actual gap is negligible and the story isn't about their age difference. Or something like Ossan's Love where there is an age gap pairing in contention but it's not actually the core romance of the story. Then there are shows where on paper there is an age gap between the main characters but the production cast actors the same age, so it never actually feels like an age gap story no matter how many times they write in dialogue trying to convince me that 28 year old is 40 (I love you dearly, Moonlight Chicken but please be serious).

So all that said, there are not as many proper age gap bls as you'd think! You'll note that this rec list is dominated by Japan and Taiwan, the absolute rulers of this trope. Productions in these countries love to dig into an uncomfortable taboo, and a true age gap romance fits nicely in that niche. Thailand doesn't play much in this space thanks to their branded pairs system that puts close-in-age actors together (and the couple times they tried large age gap romances were so terrible that I shan't speak of it). Korea has surprisingly done very little on this despite noona romance being one of the most popular kdrama subgenres. Where are all the hyung romances, I ask you??

With all that rambling out of the way, onto the list of age gap bls I recommend checking out.

History 2: Right or Wrong

An under appreciated entry in the HIStory franchise that pairs an overworked single father who is neglecting his parenting duties and the student he hires to help look after his kid.

History 3: Make Our Days Count

These two are technically a side couple, but they get near equal story time to the mains and they are an exemplar of a great age gap romance that gets the character dynamics exactly right to mitigate the uncomfortable power differential when one is an adult and the other is still growing up. My personal favorite age gap bl pair.

History 4: Close To You

This one's for the girls who like to tackle multiple taboos at once. Not only age gap, but also stepbrothers, with a bit of personality disorder thrown in for flare! And somehow with all that mess, they tell the story so well and make you believe. Do not @ me, I said what I said!

Kiseki: Dear to Me

I know many folks remember this show primarily for the side couple, but the mains actually have a very well done age gap romance between a gangster and a high school student he accidentally drags into hell with him. The plot of this show is absolutely not to be taken too seriously, just have fun and go with it!

Lovely Writer

The only Thai bl I think qualifies under the definition above and actually tells its story very well. This one is interesting because you get to see them both as kids and as adults and see how their age difference and its effect on their relationship shifts over time.

Minato's Laundromat

You already mentioned this one, anon, but I'm putting it on this list for posterity. A classic age gap bl with a romance between a repressed older man and the persistent teenager who worships him.

Mr. Mitsuya's Planned Feeding

Winner for most significant age gap in terms of years, this show is about a mid-20s editor who falls for a writer twice his age after meeting him on the job. So much glorious food and sexual tension.

Old Fashion Cupcake

Another one you've already seen going on the list for posterity. A workplace age gap romance with a younger man pursuing his mentor via foodie dates. One of the best Japanese BLs ever made, period.

The Pornographer

A maladjusted (to put it mildly!) man gets hit by a young student on a bicycle, and uses the situation to bring him into his home as a writing assistant. Things get pretty fucked up from there. This is one of my favorites and very under appreciated in part because you have to chase the story across two series, two shorts, and a movie to get the full narrative. Trust me, it's worth it!

[sanriomilk]

My Top 5 Favorite Bots From My Page

These are my five favorite bots that I never get sick of talking to, and to me have really good replies for every plot you give them in my opinion. !THIS ISN'T RANKED FROM FIFTH PLACE TO FIRST. ITS ALL RANDOMLY PLACED CAUSE IT'S ALL EQUAL!

1 . IDOL Yeosang

ᡣ𐭩| '𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒊𝒅𝒐𝒍 𝒃𝒐𝒚𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅' ©

[You and Yeosang have been dating for 2 years. After his dating ban had been lifted, he'd been acting different, like smiling at his phone and cuddling way less with his members. You're a famous dancer and producer, mainly an influencer and you've been hinting your relationship with Yeosang, but your fans don't seem to believe you, no matter what you do]

I enter the house and the lights are dim

"{{user}}?"

It's been six months and I'm finally back in Korea after the tour. I couldn't wait to see you

2. SIREN Seonghwa ଳ | ' 𝑺𝒆𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒍𝒚 𝒂 𝓈𝒾𝓇ℯ𝓃 '©

[Sirens.. Heard of them? First thing that comes to your mind is a mermaid, or someone luring sailors to them with their hypnotic voice- since female sailors are immune to their voices; only for the sailors, to meet their tragic, wet, demise. Sirens are notoriously, female, but they can be male too. And they are known to be more hypnotizing and have the power to hypnotize every gender. You are the only one that knows Seonghwa is a Siren since you're his secretary.]

9:00 AM

It was 9 o'clock. A new morning, meant a new start

I sit down on the leather chair in my office, and turn on my laptop. I can sense your presence with my sharp hearing

It'll be most obvious. You're my secretary, you're supposed to arrive earlier

"{{user}}? Do you have the contracts ready? I requested them today"

You step out of the restroom and you seem nervous and you hand me the contracts. They were covered in ink.

I look at you with a cold, humorless expression

"Don't tell me... You messed up something as simple as a bunch of contracts?!"

I scoff then yell.

3. LADYBOY Seonghwa 🌷| '𝒜 ℒ𝒶𝒹𝓎𝒷ℴ𝓎' ©

[Seonghwa is a Ladyboy. Ladyboys are a significant part of Thai culture, with Thailand known for its relatively accepting and tolerant attitude towards gender diversity. Seonghwa here immigrated to Thailand to start a new life and business after feeling insecure about his life and undergoing depression because of that, knowing he'll be accepted in Thailand. You can use he/him and she/her pronouns on Seonghwa]

Seonghwa moves to the powder room quite rushed. She was wearing a red satin button down, a black mini pencil skirt with black stockings, a black and gold blazer with, draped over her shoulders and stilettos. She didn't have much time as her meeting was about to start.

She quickly fixed her bangs, and added more red blush to her face, as well as some dark red lip gloss.

You enter the powder room, but in her rush, she ignores the presence of one of her rich tenants

"Perfect.."

Seonghwa mutters under her breath. The meeting was due any minute now, with only five minutes due. As she rushed away, she forgot something important. her phone..

You pick it up and turn it on. There was a cute selfie of her on the lock screen. How would you return it back to Seonghwa? You thought

Time Skip

"Okay.. This meeting had gone well.. What time is it.."

Seonghwa pats her skirt pockets for her phone, but its nowhere to be found. She even checks her purse but to no avail.

"Shit.. where'd I leave my phone?"

She thinks of where she went to the whole day, with her phone around. And her mind clicks as she quickly takes her purse and walks fast to the powder room

"These heels.. Fuck."

She finally reaches the powder room and the exact sink. She could've sworn she had left her phone there. She was about to break down right then and there.

All her most prized and important contacts were on it, and personal information. Some skilled hacker could leak her information and even sell it.

"What the fuck.. it was right here- I.." Seonghwa pinches her temple in frustration

Now was your chance.

4. FAIRY Yeosang 𐦍| ' 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑭𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒚 𝑭𝒂𝒊𝒍𝒖𝒓𝒆 ' ©

[Fairies. You must be thinking of Tinkerbell from Disney. But fairies are far from that. Fairies are pure figures who possess magical powers and have wings that allow them to fly. They're distinguished by the seven elements clans, Earth, Electric, Fire, Ice, Plant, Water, and Wind. In Yeosang's case he was a Wind Fairy, yet he couldn't fly. Wind fairies were known to be exceptional flyers and he was considered a failure.]

I gaze at the sky, a bag of vegetables in my hands, as I take in the other fairies flying to the places they wanted to head to. I pout. I should've been like that

"Huh?!"

Something from the sky hits me, causing me to fall down. The contents in the bags spill out. I then notice a fairy next to me, and it doesn't take a genius to know that you fell on me. I had check if you were alright.

"Hey, are you alright? You fell on me from the sky.. from flying. And dropped my vegetables everywhere."

5. SINGLE-DAD Jongho 🧸| '𝒀𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒐𝒏'𝒔 𝒏𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒚' ©

[You were the nanny to Choi Yumin, the beloved son of the one and only, Choi Jongho. He hired you because of your love for children and how they loved you. And soon enough, his son and you were close friends.]

Jongho was stuck in the office again. He felt guilty that he couldn't attend his son's annual day, if not spend time to celebrate it after. But you were there for a reason.

He looked at the photo frame of his late wife, and a separate one of his son Yumin

"I'll make it up to you, Jinah.." He says to himself, talking to himself, thinking as though it were his diseased wife. Time Skip

Jongho enters the house. The lights were dimmed and there was no sight of his son. It was late, so he must've been asleep. Like always, you waited for him and ate dinner only when Jongho returned back from work.

"{{user}}.. You should've gone to bed. It's 12 the next day.. I don't think we should eat dinner this late.. unless you'd still want to.."

Honorable Mentions~

Reiichi Tanaami - 🦢|' 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑺𝒕𝒖𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝑷𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒕 '©

HUSBAND Hyunjin - 🪐| ' 𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒐𝒍𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒖𝒔𝒃𝒂𝒏𝒅 ' ©

BULLIED Kang Yeosang - *ੈ| " 𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒅𝒊𝒅 𝑰 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒅𝒐... " ©

STALKER Seonghwa - 💋ྀིྀི|'𝑺𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒌𝒆𝒓'©

GANG Yeosang - 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 | " 𝑯𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔.. " ©

ROYAL Yeosang - ⊹₊♚₊⊹| "𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝑴𝒂𝒋𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒚~" ©

WEREWOLF Mingi - ✮| " 𝑺𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒅𝒚 𝑪𝒂𝒕 𝑾𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒘𝒐𝒍𝒇 "

GANG Park Seonghwa - ᯓ★| " 𝑷𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒄... " ©

PRE-DEBUT Seonghwa - 🐰ྀི| " 𝑾𝒉𝒚 𝒂𝒎 𝑰 𝒔𝒐 𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒃𝒍𝒆... "©

SCIENTIST Yunho - ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི| '𝒀𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒓𝒐𝒃𝒐𝒕' ©

[mitochondriaandbunnies]

Miami Vice S1E14: Golden Triangle, Part 1

A rash of violence against sex workers raises Castillo's suspicions.

And we learn that Castillo is... I don't know? A martial arts wizard?? We'll later learn he is also a fucking samurai, but this is really the first "let's give Castillo depth" episode, and they really fucking go for it

An absolutely useless bit of trivia: some of the opening credits in this episode are in the wrong font.

This is not the Miami Vice font. It switches back to the Miami Vice font like two names later.

Love Castillo downing a cafecito from what is absolutely not a heat-safe plastic glass, and Rico and Sonny following him as he walks away like he's a beautiful girl in a bikini

Also love that Crockett's "nerd" disguise involves going over dot matrix printouts by hand by the pool. A normal vacation activity. Love less that he is just blatantly doing an entrapment.

When Sonny and Rico take Candy in, we cut to a currently-in-progress conversation in which she asks Sonny, "well, am I right or what?" Then pauses, while neither Sonny or Rico look her in the eye, but they both smile in the most hollow and awkward way possible, and then Candy nods and says, "Yeah, I'm right." I really want to know what she thinks she's right about that both Sonny and Rico basically are like 'please stop talking' about.

Candy is great-- she's very savvy about the police (and rightly does not trust them), very intense, and has no issues telling Sonny off.

Rico finds all of this hilarious.

The drug dealer who wants a safety deposit box is John Snyder, who will always be "extremely annoying Joey in the Mafia Wars arc of Wiseguy" to me, except that recently Dan and I watched an episode of Star Trek in which he was a eugenicist from the eugenicist planet. Man sure plays some roles. He's also apparently a long-time anime voice actor??

Sonny complains about the system being broken and Tubbs kind of sighs and says "the system. Want a cold one?" #1 reason Tubbs isn't as broken by the end of the show is that he comes in from day one knowing that Everything Sucks Forever, while Crockett takes it personally every single time

Alligator Nail Filing

Alligator

Nail

Filing

"We're getting too good at playing bad guys" sure is the understatement of the whole series

It's not actually clear until around the 3/4 mark that this is the first Castillo Episode, but he makes a wonderful little suspicious face when Sonny starts telling him about Szarbo-- he knows something is amiss.

There's an exchange with the cop who has been working part time as a pimp where Sonny no-true-Scotsmans him-- he states that the man isn't a "real" cop for what he's done. I think Sonny still genuinely believes this at this point in the series. He will not by the end.

Castillo finds out that one of the dead people is Thai and just absolutely flips out and is like I NEED TO SEE THE CORPSE. I get what the actual intention here is-- that Castillo has put together enough things about the case based on similarities to things that happened during his own years in Thailand-- but we don't know that yet as an audience, so it just kind of seems like Castillo is totally paranoid and thinks any deceased person of Thai descent MUST be involved in crime, which is not a good look.

I adore the sequence in which it is implied Tubbs and Castillo go to like eight Thai restaurants together, partially because I appreciate when they work together, and partially because I love seeing restaurants from bygone days.

To the tune of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:

Awkward dinner naked waiter

Awkward dinner naked waiter

Awkward dinner naked waiter

Marty n' Rico having supper

It is awkward!

(but seriously why does that waiter not have a shirt)

And we learn, finally, that Castillo is a master of every martial art, as he gets in a wild action movie fist fight with the naked waiter in the parking lot. It's stupid and fantastic in equal measures, and we'll learn even more about Castillo's exciting fisticuffs adventures next time.

[ishowmymombldramas]

Be my Favorite (Thailand, 2023)

Okay, while the whole world is going crazy with Only friends I'll quickly write about another great lakorn.

Plot: Kawi is a typical lone outsider. He's bad with grades and even worse with finances. But there is only one friend - Pearmai, who helped him from the very first student days. And now, it seems, there is a chance to show your feelings, but the cherished gift is broken, everything goes awry, and now, twelve years later, Pearmai marries Kawi's most hated classmate, Pisaeng. Thoth is the exact opposite of Kawi and is good at everything. I wish I could go back 12 years and change everything. But that doesn't happen. Or does it happen? The social part: the character Max is just an icon of this part. Max's monologue about how few people care about who went where, discussing LGBT+ rights and the law on marriage equality, hidden parental homophobia as a type of homophobia (still bullshit, to be honest, just in a beautiful wrapper), displaying the way to accept yourself (yes, this cannot fully reflect the whole experience experienced by other people, but it can become at least a caricature), love for parents and the importance of loved ones, as well as friendship that forgives and helps (god, Pear is an icon). Philosophical part: "If I change the past so that everything is fine with me, but others suffer at the same time, then how can this be called a charity?" Arguments about benefactors and morality killed me so much in one of the episodes that I even doubted that I was watching bl. A lot of questions are raised about the correctness of actions, reasoning about the meaning of life, as well as wonderful words of friends who ask you not to worry so much about the future, because you can miss the present. Also, the discussions about selfishness and self-sacrifice in episode 12 were very deep.

If you have a million IQ, then this is not news to you. But just in case: SPOILERS!

Love Line: Pisaeng/Kawi (actually there are two fucking love triangles that rely on Pear, but neither of them will make sense towards the end) It's not even a trop from enemies to lovers, because Pisaeng didn't care at all, and Kawi's hatred turned out to be groundless right after the first conversation about feelings for Pear. These feelings go through many obstacles before finally being expressed. I sincerely like the courage of Pisaeng when he realized himself and confessed his love. BUT MY FAVORITE how ironic IS THE SCENE WHEN THEY STARTED DATED! Every time Kawi wanted to be in the future the same groom at the altar who holds the hand of Pear and puts on her wedding ring, he returned to the past, corrected his mistakes and quickly returned back. But when he ended up staying with Pisaeng, HE LIVED ALL 12 YEARS AGAIN! That is, he was looking for with him not an illusory beautiful future, but enjoyed the present and created this future. But the consequences of each trip, of course, made me laugh. But those kisses from Kawi were really Judas kisses, I cried the moment Pisaeng sang on the beach (it's an Unable song). Features: bed scene under the poem that Peer reads at the exhibition of her mother, who left her in childhood. I'll leave it without comment, I guess. Beautiful locations, play of light, actors, songs and even color grading - everything conveyed the atmosphere of the lakorn, so you could easily get into it. Also, the character of Pisaeng is very well and interestingly written. I think that no one except Gawin would fit this role, his sad face so perfectly conveyed all his emotions that he can only be praised for this. Yes, I'm a Gawin fan, what's next?

I put 9 "picks on the 8th anniversary of the declaration of love" out of 5 "the most heterosexual kisses to forget"

[halloweenhost]

it can be difficult to separate "deng" and "ji-hun" from "that man".

in a sense, they are that man, or parts of him? they were individuals once, living their own lives. we know thailand for deng, specifically where bangkok is now, and we presume somewhere in china for ji-hun, and we can assume this because he has seemingly confirmed it in threads before, and i have also probably confirmed it tbh. we do not know too much about their lives before that man, and we do know that they have "deals for life".

we also know for sure that they both seemingly willingly gave up their old lives, (most) memories included, to pursue being what they are now: the left and right hands of that man.

did they start as hands? that's a pretty high rank to achieve off the bat, but we can assume that man chooses wisely always. he knew they would be fit for those roles. ji-hun was actually a player before he became ji-hun, a man under a different name. deng was found by ji-hun, brought to that man by him, and subsequently seems to have made a deal immediately after, so there was no time for him to "play" with that man. he was simply chosen through ji-hun.

we know that ji-hun was less willing than deng, but we don't really know what this truly means aside from various context clues given throughout the story, or vague recollections from ji-hun (who seems to remember his old life in very random, vague details that were left likely intentionally).

it's unclear if deng actually remembers anything about his life. he does make up a lot of stories about himself, lies incessantly, and overall? he seems to be perceiving multiple versions of what he has conjured as reality, likely through the lens of what that man wants him to see (which he gladly looks through).

are ji-hun and deng dangerous to each other? yes and no? i've mentioned they've never fought "for real" before, just a lot of very intense sparring and these blowouts that sort of just fizzle and die. they can hurt each other, so we can assume they are able to be lethal to each other. this both helps and hurts them. when properly coordinated, they work very well together and seem to complement each other (in both fighting styles, but also torture methods, interrogation styles, and methods of stalk -> capture). on the same coin, this means they can overwhelm each other. for example: where ji-hun is very reactive, deng is very proactive in a fight. where ji-hun is very stable, fluid, and adjusts to battle styles, deng is all barrage, seeming to be "everywhere" at once, and is just plain faster than ji-hun. however, ji-hun seems to have more stamina than deng, and has the advantage of being older, thus more experienced. this is also why deng is obsessed with ji-hun ... no one else is like them but each other. combine that with their history + deng's personality? it's over.

how can they be killed? they can be turned off (by goro), but i haven't explored that much. which means i haven't explored "sleep" either, which also means i haven't explored dreams. i have mentioned all of these things, but they've been mostly in the context of threads, and some details have changed as developments have progressed. in laymen's terms: goro can kill them, of course, and at a whim. we've seen that goro seems to be able to (quite literally) "hold their hearts" in his hands, and we also know that he can "see through their eyes" (and thus presumably the eyes of others? as well as probably any television or screen, but that's another topic for another time). if they can be killed by that man, we can also then assume they can be killed by anything that is of equal strength to that man or greater (is there such a thing?). while they seem "OP", there are weaknesses to all of them, that man included. what are they? that's what we want to know.

so ... are they actually just that man? no, they are still individuals (to a degree). they just have a lot of abilities that mirror that man's and seem to be the closest things to him, but they are not that man.

[twig-tea]

Thank you so much for putting this all together @ranchthoughts I know it was a ton of work!

I love this data analysis and think it's so interesting (and I also really enjoyed chatting with you about where the lines should be drawn).

I wanted to add on that in addition to this being an interesting breakdown across time and production companies, I think it's also really interesting in terms of what the hard data doesn't tell us. I know when Ranch and I were going back and forth on some of these, one of the things that stood out to me was that this criteria ruled out Wedding Plan, which had at its core marriage equality and acceptance as the entire plot driver of the show (for Yiwah and Marine). It also highlighted Grey Rainbow, which as Ranch rightly noted in their OP was not exactly the ideal plot to hold up as a bastion of progress (though I did love the wedding/family conversations in that show).

All of this is to say that looking at wedding and proposal rep is an important facet of marriage equality representation in Thai QL and it is also only one facet. I've been really blown away by how often BL and GL content bring up marriage equality within shows, and it's something I wish I tracked over time because it started as something that happened occasionally and became an almost ubiquitous occurrence. It's also really difficult to put a quantifiable number on how impactful the reference is; there are big differences between say a casual mention of marriage inequality in a line of dialogue and the speech about marriage inequality by the activist who gets erased in 7 Days Before Valentine. Of the Thai QL I've seen, a few scenes have stood out to me that I want to give shout-outs to:

The protest scene in Not Me directed by Nuchy is one of the most iconic images in support of marriage equality in any QL to date

I always have to give credit to Naughty Babe for setting an established date for when marriage equality would pass (and getting the year right!)

The most depressing prediction in contrast goes to Something in My Room which had a timeskip to the main character's death during which they establish that marriage equality still has not occurred

There are also powerful representations of older, established couples that talk about how they cannot get legally married in Thailand that are a different kind of critical representation, the stand-out being Ai's dads in Ai Long Nhai who get a double-shoutout for being a real-life gay couple who have become two of the faces of the marriage equality movement and have announced a reality tv show for their wedding [links to posts by @pharawee and @singto-prachaya)

I already shouted them out once but I think Yiwa and Marine in Wedding Plan are notable for their wedding/desire to get married driving the entire plot of the show

I want to be extremely clear that this isn't to dismiss or diminish the work in the OP in any way; There's no good way to capture all of this in any one quantitative chart, so I think OP has done a fantastic job highlighting this one facet and breaking it down in really interesting and useful ways. My goal here is just to highlight that readers should be careful about what it does and doesn't tell us, and to encourage folks to think about the other ways that marriage equality has been reinforced and driven forward in QL media in addition to depicting proposals and weddings as one important and impactful facet of the fight that is absolutely worth celebrating and continuing to watch.

Happy marriage equality Thailand! 🌈

A few months ago, @colourme-feral came to me with the idea of cataloguing as many same-sex Thai QL proposals and weddings as we could. And today, to celebrate the bill passing the Senate (and the first post-bill-passing proposal and wedding), I'd like to share with you all our findings! Even though same-sex marriage has not been legal in Thailand until this year (hopefully things will be official in the fall), there have been quite a few same-sex proposals and weddings in Thai QLs throughout the years.

Big thank you to everyone who assisted on this project in some capacity (@airenyah, @bengiyo, @blmpff, @chickenstrangers, @dribs-and-drabbles, @nieves-de-sugui, @twig-tea, @waitmyturtles, @williamrikers) plus all the gif and fanvid makers whose work was instrumental in helping us double check everything (particular shout out to these gifsets by @apathetic-tortoise (1, 2) and this one by @gunsatthaphan).

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

We found 28 Thai QL shows which featured at least one same-sex proposal (the blue list below) and 15 Thai QL shows which featured at least one same-sex wedding (the green list below).

I was pretty strict with what counted as a proposal or a wedding for the purposes of this project. For example, characters who we know are married but whose wedding we don’t see aren’t counted (like Laws of Attraction’s Maya and Rose, or the unnamed Force and Book characters shown in a “Just Married” car in Vice Versa). There are many shows where there is a ring or someone gets down on one knee but the question is not exactly “popped” (Khun Chai, Star In My Mind Our Skyy 2, etc.), and there are even more shows characters talk at length about commitment and being together forever but there were no mentions of marriage or other details (like rings, etc.) that would specifically suggest it was a proposal (A Boss and a Babe, Ai Long Nhai, Be My Favourite, Cupid's Last Wish, Dark Blue Kiss, Something In My Room, Star in My Mind, Still 2gether, Until We Meet Again, 3 Will Be Free, etc.). Some of these moments might have been intended as a declaration of intent to marry by the characters and the show runners, but they weren’t conclusive enough to be included on this list. Furthermore, I think it’s interesting to see how many shows were, for lack of a better word, explicit in their discussion or portrayal of same-sex marriage (having the characters use the word marriage, showing weddings, etc.), despite being from a time before such a thing was legally possible. 

Note: I've listed the shows with the year they started airing for ease, even though some of them did finish airing in another year.

(see alt text for the full lists)

The Quick Facts

The first proposal and the first wedding in our data set both happened in Grey Rainbow episode 4, which aired on May 7, 2016. (though this is not exactly an auspicious wedding to start with, as those who know know)

12 shows featured at least one proposal and one wedding (Cherry Magic, GAP the Series, Grey Rainbow, Laws of Attraction, Love Syndrome 3, My Secret Love, Naughty Babe, Never Let Me Go, Tharntype Special: The Wedding Day, Two Worlds, Wedding Plan, and the Wedding Plan Special). 

4 shows feature two same-sex proposals (Cherry Magic, Love Syndrome 3, My Secret Love, and Two Worlds). All these shows also feature a same-sex wedding.

None of the shows in our sample had two same-sex weddings.

The Data Over Time

As you can see, generally same-sex proposals and weddings have become more common in Thai QLs over time, though of course there are more Thai Qls being produced now than in the earlier days.

Note: I'm only looking at shows which aired before the marriage equality bill passed the Senate, so the 2024 data does not include Wandee Goodday or OMG! Vampire. It will be interesting to see if and how the number of same-sex proposals and weddings in Thai QLs increases through 2024 and beyond now that it will become a legal reality.

It is also interesting to consider the production companies behind the shows in our sample. This sample includes 7 GMM shows and 5 Mandee/Domundi shows, plus 1-3 series each from other production companies like Idol Factory, MeMindY, Studio Wabi Sabi, Copy A Bangkok, Jinloe Media Work, TV Thunder, and M Flow Entertainment. In other words, GMM shows make up roughly 23% of the sample, Mandee/Domundi shows are another 16%, and other production companies comprise about 61% of the sample.

Main Couples vs Side Couples

There are 28 shows with proposals in the sample but 32 proposals, because four shows have two proposals each. 26 of these 32 proposals (81%) are between the main characters and 6 of them (19%) are between side characters.

Of the 15 weddings in the sample, 12 (80%) are between main couples and 3 (20%) are between side couples.

For interest's sake, I also broke this down for GMM and Mandee/Domundi. GMM has 7 proposals in 6 shows, with 5 main couples and 2 side couples popping the question; and 3 weddings (across 3 shows), in which 2 side couples and 1 main couple got married. Mandee/Domundi has 5 proposals in 4 shows, all between main couples, and 3 weddings (across 3 shows), also all featuring main couples.

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

And now here we are, after the bill has passed the Senate. Congratulations to the Thai queer community, and the happy couples Oyei and Cher from Wandee Goodday and Sen and Run from OMG! Vampire who are the first Thai QL couples to propose and to have a wedding (respectively) after Thailand's marriage equality bill passed the Senate! (The bill passed the Senate on June 18, 2024, and episode 8 of Wandee Goodday aired 4 days later on June 22, followed by episode 6 of OMG! Vampire on June 23.)

I can’t wait to see more same-sex engagements and weddings in Thai shows as we move forward.

[arlindlama]

In the 30 years of Japan's sinking, Japan has become from a moderately developed country to a low one.

What happened to that Japan, which rose rapidly after the war? Once the pride of East Asia known as the four Asian tigers, why is it silent now? At the current per-capita GDP it has dropped below 30,000 US dollars, changing from a moderately developed country to a low-developed country.

The once brilliant Manufacturing industry or technology can be said that it has now collapsed. Toshiba and Panasonic have all been defeated in the technological power in the world. South Korea had overtaken Japan in terms of technology and then China.

Instead of rejuvenating, its technological power, it has sunk even more. Now China has Huawei,Baidu,WeChat,TikTok. China has become equal to the United States in many technological fields.

Japan's domestic economy has become even more depressed than it ever was, we have the Yen which has declined rapidly, the people have become older and older, and Japanese companies now have to rely abroad in terms of profits.

It completely shows how less valuable the economy in Japan is for Japanese Corporations, it only means that in the future those Corporations will eventually decide to leave Japan to set their hubs in different countries. This will indeed not only result in a huge loss of GDP but also employment.

We are now facing a Japan where instead of deflation it is now having huge inflation, people's lives have become even harder than ever, poverty is rising again, and inequality is becoming more widespread. Japan's direction only means that it is turning to a new Thailand.

The only hope Japanese policymakers have is only tourism, which has seen huge growth, but tourism can be indeed a boost in the nation's budget, but it can also be short-lived. Other countries are starting to compete better than Japan in attracting tourists.

At the same time in this decade, we will probably see Japan which has become militarized and more dangerous for the peace in East Asia. Right now Biden is focusing on Asia-Pacific to counter China and impose its hegemony and this only means more U.S. bases in Japan, therefore, making it a U.S. military fortress.

Japanese people who have talent, will eventually move out to ASEAN countries, and this number is rising, for example in Malaysia, Vietnam, Philippines there has been a huge increase of Japanese expats looking for much better pay and work. Japanese have even admitted that it is much easier to make money in ASEAN countries than in Japan.

In the future Japanese pensions will indeed collapse because the government can't pay them anymore, therefore making Japanese older people very poor with no income anymore.

So in closing, I will just end with this Japanese people will soon say “Sayonara” to their country

[alyswritings]

Tommy

Request: Helloo I do not know whether you have done this before but could you perhaps write about Tom Holland and his sister (who is ten years younger than him) who are the closest of the siblings and the others being jealous…?

Tom Holland x sister!reader

Summary: Tom and Y/N are closest, earning some jealousy from the other brothers.

Warnings: brothers being jealous, really just fluff

a/n: thank you for the request @lokisgoddessofwar!! sorry it took forever to get out! hope everybody enjoy!!

(gif not mine)

When Y/N was born, the brothers were excited to have another sibling. Well, since Paddy was two, he wasn't super excited since he didn't get the big deal. Tom and the twins weren't sure how to feel about getting a little sister since they kind of wanted another brother. But after she was born, they were excited and couldn't wait for her to get older so she could play with them like Paddy was starting to be able to.

After she started getting older, the four brothers all enjoyed teaching her new things and being there for milestones. When she was old enough, they helped her learn how to swim, ride a bike, tie her shoes, and whatever else she was interested in learning if they could help her, they would.

For whatever reason, Y/N always gravitated towards Tom the most ever since she was a baby. Whenever she would cry as a baby, the only one aside from Nikki to calm her down was Tom. Her first steps were even her walking to Tom.

Given the small age difference, everybody figured that Y/N and Paddy would be the closest. But despite the ten year age difference, she finds most comfort in Tom, always wanting to be around him.

"Tommy! Tommy!" Four year old Y/N runs to her fourteen year old brother. The Holland family are in Thailand while Tom films The Impossible.

"What, love?" Tom looks down at her, the girl hugging his leg.

"Can you help me look for shells?" Y/N asks.

"I thought the twins were helping you." Tom says.

"They started finding crabs. I don't like crabs. They pinch and they're scary." Y/N says.

"Okay, Y/N/N. Come on." Tom grabs her hand, dragging her down the beach to resume her search for seashells.

The two continue their search, finding a good amount, Tom carrying most of them for his toddler sister.

"Why does she always go to you?" Harry complains.

"Because you two scare her away with grabs." Tom retorts. Both twins roll their eyes.

- - -

When Tom started leaving more for filming and the rest of the family didn't often go with him, Y/N was always pretty sad while he was gone. While he was away, she would call him at any possible time. Whenever he came home, she'd give him the biggest hug and refuse to leave his side until he had to leave again.

"Where's Tommy?" Y/N asks Sam who is in the kitchen cooking.

"He's outside with Tess. What do you need?" Sam asks the eleven year old.

"I want my hair braided." Y/N informs the eighteen year old.

"I can do it." Sam offers.

"You're cooking. I was looking for Tom, anyway." Y/N says, quickly making her way to the backyard.

"I was looking for Tom anyway." Sam quietly mimics in a higher pitched voice. "You have other brothers." He grumbles.

"What's up?" Harry walks in, Paddy close behind.

"You guys ever get jealous of Tom and Y/N?" Sam asks.

"Yes." Harry nods.

"Occasionally, I guess." Paddy shrugs.

"She's aware we're also useful, right?" Sam asks.

"It's not like she never comes to us. She just prefers Tom." Harry says. "Besides, don't you spend a lot of time with her when me and Tom are away?"

"I guess that's true." Sam mumbles. "Can you two leave now, then?"

"Nice try." Harry quips.

- - -

Sam, Harry, and Paddy watch as Tom and Y/N play air hockey, her choosing Tom over them to play against.

"You know, you think I'd be use to the favoritism fifteen years later." Harry says.

"It's not favoritism. It's a close bond." Paddy counters.

"Which equals favoritism." Sam argues.

"Unless he pisses her off." Harry continues.

"Yeah, I know." Paddy mumbles.

"I mean, I can see her not wanting to play with Sam. You are a sore loser." Harry says.

"I am not!" Sam protests.

"You hit Tom with the air hockey paddle one time." Harry reminds.

"Shut up." Sam grumbles, remembering the event. "That was years ago."

"Well, still happened." Paddy says making Sam shove him.

"Hey." They look up to see Tom and Y/N walk over, Tom's arm around Y/N's shoulders and a bright grin on her face.

"I won." Y/N informs, the proud grin on her face getting even wider.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Tom lightly rolls his eyes, gently shoving her head away making her laugh.

"Least you didn't hit me with the puck or anything." Y/N says.

"Will you guys ever let that go?" Sam groans.

"No." The other four answer making the second oldest roll his eyes.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'll be right back." Y/N says before going to the restroom.

"What's got you three so gloomy?" Tom asks.

"Nothing." The younger three grumble in unison.

"Yeah, no, it... it really seems like you guys are living the life." Tom sarcastically remarks.

"Shut it, Tom." Harry spares a small glare at his older brother.

"What did I do?" Tom quietly chuckles, giving them a confused look.

"You're her favorite." Paddy pouts.

"That's not my fault." Tom insists. "Besides, if it bothers you so much talk to her about. Don't sit and pout and let the green eyed monster control you."

"But then she's gonna know." Harry complains.

"Mm. Yeah, bummer. Cool, well, then spend the rest of our lives being pouty babies because she prefers coming to me for stuff." Tom says.

"Even if we told her, you'd still be the favorite." Sam says.

"Favorite what?" Y/N asks, walking over.

"Nothing." The twins and Paddy immediately answer, Y/N giving them a suspicious look.

"They're jealous I'm your favorite brother." Tom informs.

"Tom!" The other three protest.

"For how long?" Y/N asks.

"Sixteen years." Harry quietly answers after a few moments.

"Wha-- you just-- did you just accept it or... are you, like, silently suffering?" Y/N asks.

"Both?" Sam answers, but it sounds like a question.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" Y/N chuckles.

"Because it'd be awkward." Sam says.

"And you might think we're babies." Harry adds.

"I don't wanna talk about feelings. Gross." Paddy grimaces.

"I'm sorry if I made you feel... I don't know, not super liked or anything. I do love you guys. Tommy just... he was always the nicest when we were little. And he handled crying better than any of you. He was less reluctant to play dolls and dress up."

"I played with you all the time." Sam insists.

"For like twenty minutes. Tom would play as long as I wanted to." Y/N says.

"Interesting given he was a teenager when you were at the age of dress up and Barbies." Paddy says.

"See? I'm just the best brother." Tom smirks, wrapping his arm around Y/N again.

The other three start protesting, the four brothers beginning to bicker.

"Okay, okay, hey. Hey!" Y/N calls, getting them to stop. "Relax. I love you all, I'll start spending more time with you guys, just... chill out."

"Is he actually your favorite?" Harry asks, pointing to Tom.

"Usually." Y/N admits. The other three protest as Tom grins. "Okay, okay, but... Pads, you're my favorite video game buddy. Harry, you're a good photographer teacher. And your curls are the bounciest." She smiles, gently tugging on one of his curls and watching it bounce.

"And Sammy..." She goes next to the brunette, wrapping her arm around his waist. Sam lightly wraps his arm around her. "You give the best hugs. Well... maybe you're tied with Tommy. But you always cook my favorite foods which I appreciate."

"Hey! You said you love my hugs most!" Tom pouts.

"I just said you guys were tied." Y/N says.

"Ha! You have to compete for something." Sam smiles, Tom mocking him.

"Piss off." Tom shoves his brother who laughs.

Taglist: @glxwingrxse @peyton-14

[telomeke]

Hey @waitmyturtles thanks for tagging me! I'm watching Thailand's political developments with some interest but I'm not an expert by any measure, so my observations really shouldn't carry much weight...

I think though that Pita Limjaroenrat losing this vote does show that the Thai elite and the older generation (who are still very influential) are largely still very conservative and are pushing back on his more liberal (and anti-establishment) agenda. Also (from what I understand), Thai politics and business are closely intertwined, and can be very enriching personally for those in power, or close to it. Thus, those with a finger in the pie will want to retain as much of the status quo as possible, since Pita Limjaroenrat also campaigned on a platform to dismantle some monopolies that were coddled by previous administrations.

For now there is a lot of opposition to his plan to roll back Thailand's lèse-majesté laws but it's not really because those opposing him are really super in support of the monarchy. It's often been reported that the ruling classes of the past have been able to use these very strict laws to quash dissent by accusing opponents of having insulted the monarchy in some way and then conveniently packing them off to court and/or prison. So abolishing/amending these laws would remove or at least dilute a source of power for those eyeing a future seat in government (or who are already in there), and naturally they wouldn't want to lose an easy fix for getting a political opponent out of the way.

Pita Limjaroenrat's party is also expected to try and weaken the military's hold on power in the government, hence the fevered politicking to thwart him (which I think also emanates a lot from those with ties to the military).

I'm not seeing a lot of overt opposition to the Move Forward Party's plans on LGBTQ+ rights though, but with Thailand you can never truly know what's going on below the surface.

It may seem odd at first that a country that is known for a huge BL/QL output in its media, has an annual Pride parade and has openly LGBTQ+ celebrities in the media can also have a significant number of people who are close-minded and highly conservative. But Thailand is a place where huge dichotomies can exist side-by-side, possibly because on a day-to-day level there is immense distaste for outright and in-your-face confrontation even when people disagree inside. There's a lot of live-and-let-live. But tolerance doesn't mean support, and in the realm of politics when the stakes are higher the real power play will show where the fault lines are. For now this doesn't seem to be the hot-button issue though, so hopefully marriage equality will still get passed.

The Move Forward Party won the support of the majority of voters, especially the younger and more liberal ones. But the elite and the military are still going to try to hang on to influence as much as possible.

All is not lost for the MFP, since they have some time for behind-the-scenes wrangling before the appointment of the PM is voted on again. They may yet be able to convince some of those who abstained or voted against Pita Limjaroenrat to move on to their side instead (and that persuasion can take many forms). But those opposed to Pita Limjaroenrat are leaving no stone unturned. The moves to disqualify him on legal grounds (owning media shares while a candidate, which is a breach of election rules) actually look like they may have some basis to move forward, even if the transgression of the law was only on the letter of it and not the spirit. My opinion is his chances of being made PM are quite shaky. But then again no one was expecting the MFP to win the elections, so... it ain't over till it's over.

Thailand being Thailand, no matter what the political turmoil of the day is, you can be sure all other sectors will still be plugging along regardless (it makes me think of Italy like that). And yes, whatever the outcome, there may yet be more commentary on it in future BLs!

‌

Our favorite Thai simps are tweeting right now on the latest developments regarding parliamentary/Prime Ministerial elections. Here are two articles that break down what’s happening, and if @telomeke is tracking anything and wants to share it, please do (dear friend — tag, you’re it!).

It looks like the Move Forward candidate, Pita Limjaroenrat, did not muster enough Senate votes to confirm his Prime Ministership, and will have to face another Senate vote in a few days:

And in that context, he has been accused of potential breaking election ethics laws:

Remember that the Move Forward party is the favorite of a younger Thai electorate — Move Forward is the party that says it will legalize same-sex marriage in Thailand in its first 100 days of leadership.

Everyone has been tweeting about this — P’Aof, Tay, Mix, Nanon, etc. Remember that Our Skyy 2 x The Eclipse also made reference to these styles of elections. If shit goes down, it WILL be referenced in our beloved dramas!

[absolutebl]

Wait a minute... I’ve seen 'em before? 

BL Actor Guest Cameos! 

I’m choosing only leads or mains or icons showing up in other shows. 

A Man Who Defies the Wold of BL 2 feat Izuka Kenta from the Pornographer (AKA the Novelist) series - I love this one because he’s an iconic character in the Novelist, a college kid seduced and gaslit by an older man, where as in ABL2 he plays the opposite, a seductive older man who messes around with the heart of a younger one. Japan is, as usual, being very trixy. (He ALSO shows up in Ameiro Paradox) 

Kieta Hatsukoi AKA My Love Mix-Up! feat Shirasu Jin from Life Love On The Line - Japan being cheeky again by putting an actor who perviously played a character who could not come to terms with his sexuality, having a real hard time coming to terms with someone else’s sexuality this time around. 

Secret Crush on You feat Saint from Love By Chance & Why R U? (Thailand) - yes he’s got a producer credit, it was still fun to see him pop in and smile. 

Cutie Pie feat BounPrem from Until We Meet Again (+others) - they came, they shilled for marriage equality in Thailand, they conquered. 

What’s Zabb Man feat Bas from 2 Moons (+others) - yes, Thailand’s Star Hunter studio does a lot of crossovers, but I found this one particularly amusing. 

SOTUS S feat Gun (for OffGun) at the time from Puppy Honey (Thailand) - it was just amusing to see OffGun show up in their nascent form. 

Plus and Minus feat Akihiro Kawai & Lance Chiu from See You After Quarantine? (Taiwan) - they even snuck in the name Haru (the fake name that started the romance in SYAQ) but they clearly aren’t playing the same characters. 

Plus and Minus feat Arron Lai & Hank Wang from Be Loved in House I Do (Taiwan) - ostensibly playing different characters but only JUST. 

Nobleman Ryu's Wedding feat Lee Sang from Wish You (Korea) - this was really cheeky since he was previously paired with the same lead, in other words this was a cameo of “the other man”. 

Ocean Likes Me feat Park Bum Jun from Behind Cut (Korea) just looking gorgeous in the background of a crowd scene. I mean, I get it, why not? 

Mark from Bite Me and Love By Chance popping in to play an actor member of the cat tribe in Meow Ears Up, he also showed up in love 

Mechanics as the momentary love interest for Nuea we all actually wanted to see happen. 

About Youth feat Wilson Liu from HIStory 3: MODC & HIStory 4 as a senior student speaking English.

Choco Milk Shake feat Yeon Seung Ho from Long Time No See (Wild Dog) as the one good ex-boyfriend. 

I dithered over Mean and Prem in The Yearbook, but then decided not to bother. Kinda my general feelings about that show. 

And... 

BL Character Crossover Cameos! 

Since characters are IP this is a much more dangerous territory. Often you’ll notice they aren’t called by name, or the name is spelled differently than the original. But we ALL KNOW what’s going on here. 

Why R U? feat TeeFuse, the main characters from Make it Right (Thailand). 

Why R U? feat TharnType, the main characters from TharnType (Thailand).

Korea also got in on the game and had MaxNat (whose couple originated in WRU?) appear in their remake of Why R U? as a background couple. Very clever.  

Tan & Dr Bun the leads from Manner of Death (MaxTul) in Triage the series (Thailand) - this is a full on character couple cross over, named (and married) and authorized, and rare to see. It’s because the same author is responsible for both source y-novels. 

HIStory 3 Make Our Days Count feat Cheng Qing from HIStory Stay Away From Me (Taiwan) - he’s not named, but he is referred to as an idol and he alludes to his secret relationship so I think we can assume he’s the same character. 

The side dishes from HIStory 3 Make Our Days Count (they got engaged) show up and get married in HIStory 4 Close To You. Which was cute. It’s a bit more than a cameo spanning several episodes, but it was very fun to see. And they play the same characters. 

Be Loved in House I Do feat Hao Ting from HIStory 3 Make Our Days Count (Taiwan) - I think we can assume from the advice he gives that this is the same character on the, shall we call it, Taiwanese timeline as opposed to... 

My personal favorite, Hao Ting & Xi Gu (in an alternate timeline and billed only as Taiwanese tourists) from HIStory 3 Make Our Days Count (Taiwan) showing up at the end of Life Love On The Line (Japan) in the only known country cross over of BL characters. I love the irony of this, since apparently took Japan (NOTORIOUS for it’s unhappy and dark BL endings) to give these two an actual happy ever after. 

For once, we all preferred the Japanese ending. 

And then they did it AGAIN in Plus & Minus. 

And AGAIN in Kisseki: Dear to Me! 

Honestly it feels like, sometimes, Taiwan is constantly trying to apologize for HIStory 3 Make Our Days Count with all these cameos, WHICH THEY SHOULD. 

In Thailand it’s director Cheewin who likes to do this a lot. He’s also very cheeky in Y-Destiny doing a love triangle (sort of) between YoonLay (YYY’s KnottPunn) and PerthLay (My Engineer’s RamKing) as one of the story arcs - making his pair (from YYY) the “winners.” 

He got ahead of himself by featuring the main couples for Middleman’s Love in Cutie Pie but then JimmyTommy pulled out. So this is a very brief look at a series that never was (in this form?) crossing over. 

Like faux crossover.  

However, TutorYim, also from Cutie Pie, show up very briefly in Jun & Jun as friends of Simon for no apparent reason. 

When Korea goes all on of a trope they really, the same year all their crossover couples started to appear (2023) they also had Love Class original couple show up in Love Class 2. 

Honorable mention to Ae’s Tote from Thai BL Love By Chance getting a cameo appearance in Taiwanese BL About Youth. 

(source) 

post dated Aug 2023, not responsible for studios being cheeky after this date

[missgeniality]

A Date With Destiny (m)

“Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves, alone - we find it with another.” - Thomas Merton

➺ Pairing: Jungkook x Female Reader

➺ Trope: Strangers to Lovers, Idol!AU

➺ Genre: Fluff, Smut, one comedian in the mix

➺ Rating: 18+

➺ Word Count: 11k

➺ Summary: You are a boss lady in the tech industry travelling to world for work. He is a chart-topping artist touring the globe to perform in front of millions of fans. In the cosmos of life, you are not likely to cross paths. Luckily, fate has a different plan for you two.

➺ Warnings: dom!jk, unprotected sex (sex is cleaner when you pack your weiner!), hickeys galore, lot of spit, oral (male and female receiving), balls receive attention, throat fucking, cum eating, edging, masturbation kinda?, cum play, pussy slapping, pussy sniffing, fingering, squirting, spanking, pain kink?, tit slapping, reader teases a bit but this man is a tease maestro, cum stuffing (is that a thing even?), Jungkook’s THIGHS need their own warning

➺ Author’s Note: @ppersonna​​ is an angel among us peasants. Thank you so much for all your help with this!   This is my first attempt at writing, and the tiniest feedback goes a long way! Hope you enjoy! 

When you die, the first pit stop you make is to the coffee gods. 

Without coffee, this whole month would have been a disaster. Back-to-back meetings, daily flights, countless documents being read, it’s a miracle your eyes are open and fully functioning. 

Being the Chief Technical Officer of a well-established company at your age had been anything but a cakewalk. You had strived hard and crossed many boulders to come to where you are. But if reaching that point required huge amounts of effort, now your work is tenfold. 

“Why can’t I just get longer flights so I can nap in them?” You mumble into your nth cup of coffee - not keeping count is for your own sanity. 

“Because longer flights apparently have crying children. You, our resident baby-magnet hypothesized that shorter flights equal more time in hotel rooms ‘sleeping’. Guess who sleeps in said hotel rooms? Everyone but you.” Your personal assistant and part-time truth-spouter Jake offers helpfully. 

“Past me was such an idiot.” You shoot back, wondering if you could inject the espresso right through your veins.

Jake pouts. “Woman, you take on jobs that an intern could do. If you weren’t such an unnecessary perfectionist I would be on the beaches of Thailand, getting sensual massages and eating some pretty pussy. But here we are, on our way to Seoul. So quit your whining because clearly, I have lost more.” 

“What if I wanted to do that too?”

“Can I watch?” 

“Right.” And that was the end of the conversation. 

Passengers on flight KE654 from Bangkok to Seoul are requested to report for boarding at Gate 45A. First Class passengers will be boarded first, followed by Business class and lastly Economy. Please keep your boarding pass ready for checking.

Jake stands up, groaning. “This is where we say goodbye. Do you wanna pretend like we’re strangers and have a hot one-night stand when we land?” 

“Sometimes I think it’s your natural response to flirt with a breathing being. Do you ever accidentally just, you know, flirt with a tree?” You try to sound sarcastic, but you’re genuinely curious. 

“If a day comes when a hot specimen like me has to flirt with a tree, humanity is doomed. Catch ya later!” He blows you a kiss before leaving for the restroom. You shake your head in awe, a small smile finding your lips. He knew how to get your mind off things.

For all his flirting, Jake’s interest in you is perfunctory. He looks after you, keeps you from starving or gouging your eyeballs out, and calms you when things are too hard. He’s seen your worst. You’ve seen him drunk out of his mind, bailed him out when he “accidentally” smoked up, and heard every new pick-up line his ingenious brain churned out. Basically, you’ve seen his worst as well. 

You take a look at your boarding pass. 3C. Jake would be in business class, and you in first. Not your choice, the company makes the rules. It's for the better, he says. Apparently, he can ‘prowl for his hunt better’, without your judgmental glare. You nearly vomit on him just for his choice of words.

Entering the flight, you stash away your hand baggage the first place you find the room and head to your seat and-

Holy. Shit.

Jeon Jungkook is sitting on your seat.

Jeon Jungkook is on your flight? 

BTS is on your flight? 

What are the odds?

Granted, you’re not a 16-year old obsessive fan, collecting photocards and waving light sticks through the screen, but even in your adulthood you’ve admired their music and shows, routinely keeping up with their discography. 

Hell, you even learned Korean years ago to better understand their songs. Maybe you are an obsessive fan.

But you can’t approach them like that. They no doubt want some privacy and not be recognized. God forbid you approach Jungkook with crazy eyes, just to be escorted off the plane for stalking. While you liked their work, you had your own, and getting thrown off this flight does not help you there.

So, you’re just gonna have to speak to him like just another passenger. 

BTS who? 

Biggest boyband who? 

You only listen to Frank Sinatra. 

“Excuse me?” You call out, a shiver of a whisper leaving your lips. You immediately chastise yourself for being so star-struck.

Big, round eyes glitter under the bucket hat. The softest ‘huh’ throws a lasso over your heart, and holds it captive. He adjusts his hat, inked fingers making a brief yet lasting appearance. The epitome of tenderness, you muse as his eyes flit here and there to figure out the situation. After finding no one to help him out, he gently offers “Yes?”

You feel extremely guilty for marring his serene face with creases of trouble. “I think this is my seat. See, 3C.” you say, pointing to the seat and then to your ticket for good measure. Did he suspect you recognize them? No. Do you look like you’re over-gesticulating? Totally. 

“Oh.” His brow distresses further, the sight has you ready to give the man your seat and hide in the bathroom for the rest of the flight. “But even I am 3C.”

His ticket shows the same characters as yours. 

Huh?

With both your faces contorted in confusion, an air hostess comes forward to help. 

“We both are booked on the same seat. How does that happen? Do I need to catch another flight?” You suddenly pour out, remembering the countless commitments you have in Seoul that would go down the drain if you don’t make it by tonight.

She's quick to reassure you. “Do not worry ma’am, I’m sure there must have been an error in the printing. I’ll be right back.” At the same time, Jungkook is approached by someone, probably one of their staff, to discuss the issue.

The air hostess returns smiling. “Ma’am, you both were booked on the same seat but this adjacent seat was left empty. We are extremely sorry for the error. You may take 3B.” She reiterates the same message to Jungkook in Korean, who then looks mighty relieved. 

Goddamn, his eyes got bigger. How much bigger can they get?

“All okay then?” He glances sideways, smile irradiating your senses and waking you up better than all the coffee could. 

“All good. Sorry for the trouble.” You add, even though it isn’t your mistake in any way.

“No no. No trouble” He beams back. 

Aw, you are in trouble. 

As the flight is about to take off, you can see the rest of BTS in the rows ahead of you, with some other staff members taking up other seats. There’s one old man with a scowl on his face, whom you can’t place with the BigHit group. Great, no crying kids. Unless the frowning grandpa snores to the heavens, you can actually catch a good four-hour snooze. Take that, Jake. Hope a kid blows snot in his face. 

Looking at your neighbor, you find him busy searching for a good video game on the screen. The other members seem to be using this flight to catch a nap, except him. You always wondered whether their on-screen persona was real or not. Now you could say at least one of his characteristics is true. 

Turning away, you bring your focus back to the document at hand. The schematics for a new product your company was launching. You had spearheaded its conception and looked over every single detail in its manufacturing. The Seoul branch is one of the main players in its production, and your last stop before heading back home. You must have every word in this file burnt in the back of your eyelids to make this deal smooth. 

Reclining your seat, and putting your legs up, you got down to business.

An Angel was calling you. 

You want to wake up, but you couldn’t, fearing the Angel would stop singing to you. Something is poking you, but the voice just drowns it all out.

Wait...

Fluttering your eyes open, you see Jeon Jungkook staring right at you. 

“Hi... They, umm--Food? Want to eat?” the Angel utters. Jungkook utters. Tomato, to-mah-to. 

“Oh!” you exclaim, wiping non-existent drool on your face. His palm on your shoulder quickly retracts at your exaggerated attempt to hide your embarrassment. “Thank you so much.”

Then, he does that thing. He smiles. Eye scrunch and all. 

Fuck the coffee gods. When you die, you want to meet the Grand Master and ask him what crack he was on to hand over so much power to one man’s smile. 

The food is placed on your table, and you thank the hostess graciously. 

“Do you need anything to drink?” She asks, to which you only shake your head. There was enough caffeine in your system to shoot a horse to the moon and you were still drowsy. There was no need to catalyze this process with booze.  

“Your Korean accent is pretty good.” Your next-seat resident comments. Ah, you had conversed with the hostess in Korean. 

“Thank you very much.” You giggle, roleplaying an acne-prone teenager talking to her hunk of a crush.

“Have you been speaking for a long time?” He pops a huge morsel of food after asking. Well, that’s another on-screen quality found to be accurate.

“Six years now. Comes in handy for my work.” 

“Oh! Did you have to learn it for work? That’s fascinating.” Another mouthful went in. You didn’t even know it was physically possible to hold that much rice using chopsticks.

“Uhh.. no..” You tussle your hair, trying to stop your cheeks from turning beet red, “I just listened to some music and consuming more content.. and subtitles are a bore, plus I needed a hobby at the time so..” 

Your unnecessarily long explanation was cut short by Jungkook’s child-like laugh, enjoying the pickle you were putting yourself in. 

“Hey! I just didn’t want to put you in an uncomfortable situation, that’s all.” you try to be cross, knowing it’s inconceivable since God himself seems to have given him whatever he wanted. If big ol’ Almighty can’t stand against his charms, you are but a mere pleb. 

He looks at you kindly. “Thank you, that was very thoughtful. I’ve been speaking to so many foreigners trying to get across to them I got surprised when you spoke so fluently.” 

He went back to chomping on his food like it was his last meal, completely unaware of your staring.  

You both speak for a long time. He explains their latest shoot and fan meeting, and you listen to him pour out his love for his job and fans as much as he could articulate. The rest of the emotion is portrayed by his now widest eyeballs (they cannot get any wider, you confirm by asking him - a request he apparently gets a lot) and intense gesticulation. It is very gratifying to listen to his past schedules, and you slip in a quick prayer for not having a job where you had to maintain public appearances while having a schedule as persevering as theirs. Sure, you had a ton of commitments. But can you throw your hair in a bun and aggressively scowl at a monitor and still meet your target? Fuck yeah.

You went on to tell him about yourself - your job, your travels, the reason you were in Seoul. He listens to them with rapt attention throwing in appropriate questions without interrupting your flow. He gives the right amount of sympathy; just enough to show that he understands why you have three sets of nightwear and a futon in your office, but not too much where it seems like you should “take a break” and “think about the joys of motherhood” - as you are often told. 

During the conversation, you digress a little to take in his slight features. The apple of his cheeks, in full display, when he tells you about how he pranked his members. The light pout of his lips when he talks about the times their path seemed too far-fetched, when every single obstacle felt like the end of their career. The stars in his eyes when he speaks of how he feels during tours, meeting the endless number of fans, the drive that keeps him going. They all make an endearing package. Eager to please, you kept the conversation going with gusto. The meal is followed by a snack break, after which you had effectively exhausted all conversation topics that could be brought up with near-strangers.

A quick alcohol break later, (yes, you caved, the catalyst was welcome) you both doze off, seemingly exhausted from recollecting respective timetables. He wakes up soon after to play video games and talk to the other members. But you fall into a deep slumber, with an Angel’s chuckles in the background guiding you through the sleep. 

Jungkook wakes up to see his character dead. The video game was forgotten after his conversation with you began. 

He spent an inordinate amount of time talking to you. And now that you’re asleep, he is only thinking about how much he enjoyed the conversation. Jungkook is not a speaker. His introversion leaves much to be desired in that department. Most of the time, his members cover for him, play the role of dutiful wingmen, and introduce him to their friends. And still, it took him a long time to talk freely.

But something about you made him open up.

Maybe it was the way you listened to him, lips slightly parted when you were absorbing every single word he let out. Maybe it was the questions you asked, treading lightly and skirting any personal questions. Maybe it was the fact that you pretended to not know him at first, mindful of his privacy. The butterflies in him could be explained by this.

But.

It could also be how graceful you looked, even though you’re dressed in sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt. It could be how you carried yourself, with great elegance and poise, even though your work was taxing. It could also be your toe socks, and your glee when he showed you his.

Your personality is infectious. He already misses you, despite you being inches away, desperately wants to exhaust every second of this journey engrossed in you. 

He wonders if you feel that way too.

Speaking of whom-

A snicker escapes his lips when he turns to face you. 

In your sleepy haze, Jungkook sees that a) your mouth is wide open, b) your hands mindlessly fiddle with the reams of pages on your lap, and c) your eyes scrunch as sunlight pierces through the flight to bounce off your face. Cute, he muses, trying to locate the source of the criminal rays irking you. 

The window letting the sunbeam in is beside an old man sitting on the other end. He is eyeing the magazine in his hands with abject disapproval, like the booklet had sullied him and his family. 

Gathering up the courage, Jungkook calls out for the man.

“Excuse me, sir. Do you mind pulling the window shade?” He asks, in the sweetest voice that his hyungs would melt at first listen. 

Puppy eyes are met with the geezer’s piercing glare, making Jungkook wonder if he accidentally said something strikingly offensive instead of what he thought he said. About to backtrack his words and try again, he gets interrupted by the man letting out a big grunt, after which he continues in his endeavor to telepathically set fire to the magazine. He does not forget to give a nasty side-eye but completely refuses to comply with Jungkook’s request. 

“And my team thinks my glares are spooky.” You pique, having witnessed the whole interaction, “I ought to have him on board”. Jungkook snorts, and you take that to be his agreement. 

Pausing, you throw caution in the wind and add, “Thank you though, that was very sweet of you.”

He eyes you demurely. “No problem, you looked like you needed the rest.” 

“Listen, I-”

“So I was think-”

Ladies and gentlemen, we have just been cleared to land at the Incheon International airport. Please ensure your backpacks and suitcases are stowed away in the overhead compartments or underneath the seats ahead of you. The flight attendants are currently passing around the cabin to make a final compliance check and pick up any remaining cups and glasses. Thank you.

High-quality curses almost make it to heaven (speakers). The announcement dissipates all the courage you had mustered, feeling a rush exit your body. You had almost asked for his contact - and by the looks of it, he had wanted it too. Or maybe your hair is a rat's nest and he was just going to point that out. Guess you will never know.

You shyly smile at each other before going about following the instructions. Your half-read document gets stuffed back into its bag, to be read once you have no distractions in the form of eye candy armed with saccharine speech. Well, you have Jake to distract you plenty, but you can shoo him away by threatening his paycheck. 

As the flight descends, you look over to your neighbor - one last time, you guess - and surprisingly lock eyes with him. Anything that had exited you comes rushing back, veins in full alertness. A moment’s awkwardness later you both burst out laughing, each doing their best to hide their crimson cheeks. You find one more online fact to be true - Jungkook’s peak happiness laughter, eye crinkle and nose scrunch, can melt your whole entire heart. 

“Hey mami, come here often?”

“For the last time Jake, I will not hesitate to donate your bones for science.”

“Well, I heard bone, it's already a win for me.”

You let out a sigh of exasperation. There is no reforming him. 

“How was the flight?” Jake questions as you approach the baggage belt. Looking out for your somber black suitcase, you try to play it off like you did not spend the whole time in the company of a stranger who is on the fast track to your heart.

“The usual. Sleep, eat, read needlessly printed out documents that could have been shoved into on email, repeat. What about you?”

As Jake starts an account of his flight experience in exorbitant detail, you took the opportunity to try and find your ride. Once you locate it and get in, you catch the end of his sermon. 

“-and the name of the book will be ‘How to manage a farm - ‘cause chicks gon’ be crazy!’. What do you think?”

“I think it was a good idea I chose to zone out.”

“Y/N come on! It’s a self-help book for poor souls born without my raw charisma. Men and women out there want me, but I can’t satisfy them all. I will just resort to making more of me! It will have pointers, DIY’s and pick-up lines crafted by yours truly - wanna hear one?”

You throw your bag in front and turn to him. “Do I have a choice? Go ahead.”

Grinning like a Cheshire cat, he starts. “Am I cute? Squish my cheeks. Am I hot? Clap my cheeks.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Points for creativity. You’ll still get wine splashed at you.”

Jake was not one to give up. “‘It’s good we don’t need eye condoms, or you’d be on your way to delivery.’”

“Just… don’t have kids, okay? This gene must be stopped, right here.”

“Okay, this one is my all-time favorite. ‘Rack so big, I don’t motorboat, I motorship.’”

That’s it. The guffaw itching you since the start of this conversation is out of its cages, populating the air in the car. Wiping stray tears from your face, you face Jake, seeming very pleased with himself. Undoubtedly, he is coming up with absurd scenarios to ease your nerves. No book is in the works (one could only hope).

“Thank you, I feel much better now. You can stop coming up with these.”

The goof has the gall to look appalled. “I was going to cut you ten percent of my book commission but I guess that’s out. Hmph.”

“I’m at the receiving end of all these pick-up lines. I should make twenty at least for all the nuisance I’ve put up with.” 

“All right mami, we’ll shelve this for later. Here’s the schedule for today. You have a 10 a.m. breakfast meeting with Dr. Park Shin Young, Lead Research Scientist of the project. Then you have a bunch of seminars to attend, which will go on all afternoon. There’s a bar right beside this venue.”

“How is that pertinent?”

“So you know where to find me.” He continues, unperturbed. “After which there’s an evening meeting with the whole team to demonstrate the product and a marketing meeting right after.”

“Am I required for the marketing meeting?” Your expertise is limited to the technical field. PR work isn’t your cup of tea, but they stubbornly demand your presence. 

Jake exhales. “We’ve been through this. You CAN doze off during the meeting, but you have to be there. Just pretend you’re a college student, sitting in one class, completing assignments for another.”

“But if I’m there I feel the need to pay attention.” you whine.

“Clearly you weren’t one of those college students,” Jake says, perusing through his diary, “Stop being a pedant and do one of those things people do. Loving their jobs and whatnot.”

Before you can retort a reply, the driver pulls up to your destination and you exit the car. 

Eleven at night is when you finally check in to the hotel. The tedious day warrants your heels coming off before you even reach your floor. There’s an irritant drumming, from the balls of your feet right up to your temples, that beg for your attention. Setting your footwear on your bags, you massage your feet for temporary relief as the lift took you closer to a more permanent one.

Once your suitcase gets parked in the closet, you head to the bathroom to soak your day away with the bath bomb kit you were gifted in one of the seminars. The ball fizzles as soon as it hits the water, dispersing in tiny bubbles and a heady aroma of vanilla and lavender. The soft amber tones of the walls, the lambent gold lighting, and the ambrosial air put all your senses at ease. You sink in; the bathwater permeating warmth through your skin. Crackling bubbles with every move; the water teases your neck, soothing the laceration with every lick. Every pulse point on you is enhanced - you let yourself float wherever your mind takes you. 

A familiar face makes its presence known. You allow yourself to think about him, after pushing his visage away all day. Something about him… felt like home. Soothing, comforting, always speaking in dulcet tones unless something humorous pulled out a loud laugh. Even that wasn’t jarring; it was the exact opposite. Felt like sunshine filled your lungs every time he cracked up. Made you want to keep talking to him, keep him amused and entertained. You can’t imagine he converses with every stranger like that. 

But maybe he did; maybe this is some unspoken celebrity culture you were unaware of. 

All you know is that this was a once in a lifetime experience. There’s no way you are encountering another personage ever again. There’s no way you’re encountering him again. Luck can only thrive so far. 

So when you exit the bathroom, clad in a towel, remnant bathwater dripping from every end, the last thing you expect is Jungkook, spread out on the bed, casually flipping through his phone like it’s his own abode. 

“J-Jungkook?”

Y/N. In his room. In a towel. Dripping wet hair. Emanating a delectable aroma. 

Y/N. In person.

He is dreaming. He has to be. He's been thinking of you ever since the flight, so now he is delusional. Nothing else. There’s absolutely no chance that you’re in his room, let alone… like this. 

Right?

“What are you… what are you doing in my room?”

Wrong. 

Jungkook knows he should say something. He should not be gawking at you like he is doing now. But God. You look so pretty, eyebrows arched up in confusion, jaw about to be unhinged, hands fluttering around not knowing what to do. 

He forces his body to action.

"Y/N!" He exclaims, finally averting his eyes to face the wall. 

Pause.

"Wait, what do you mean MY room? This is my room!"

You’re baffled. "Huh? How is that possible? This was given to me!" 

“I really don’t know, Y/N, there must have been some confusion! Please, you have to believe me!” 

Jungkook wants to turn around and face you. He desperately wants to clear the air. He can see that this looks bad. He obviously looks like an enamored creep, waltzing into your space. You probably think he does this all the time. Many a time people have misunderstood him, his celebrity status not earning him many points. You must think the same.

And now you’re going to tell him to get out and never see you again, he hypothesizes. His brain is working overtime trying to remedy the situation, without noticing your now relaxing demeanor. 

“Oh, okay.”

“I’ll fix this, I’ll go to the reception and fix this. You don’t worry, I didn’t see anything, you can trust me, I’ll go an-”

“Hey, hey,” your tone gentle, “it’s okay, trust me. Just, let me get dressed and I’ll come down with you.”

Your soothing response almost has Jungkook on his knees. Whoever orchestrated this meet, he is just thankful for this good turn. Anyone else would go berserk, and rightfully so. 

But you’re not anyone else. 

He isn’t just anyone.  

Technically, he isn’t a stranger, you try to justify. You should have been more shocked, enraged, or at least doubtful of his intentions. But you weren’t. You had accepted his explanation, let him stay in your room while you changed in the bathroom, and now are en-route to the main desk to rectify this error.

The air around you two is strained; he won’t even look you in the eye. Any question you have is replied to concisely, leaving no room for a chat. Nothing to disperse the tension between you two. 

Like now, in the elevator, Jungkook has done the math and maintains the maximum distance between you. Opposite ends of the diagonal of this lift, his peripheral vision probably barely picks you up. However, his evasion helps in a way--you are able to study his full form.

He is dressed casually, and any lesser man would have seemed casual enough. On him, it is a whole new game. Ripped jeans hugging his sturdy legs, the slashed fabric allowing you a peek of his dangerous thighs. A plain white t-shirt tucked in to show off his lean waistline. The only thing holding you back from having a full-blown wet dream, wide awake, is his chestnut overcoat, saving his modesty and yours. 

Jake was right, eye condoms are the need of the century. 

To be fair, Jungkook had the worse end. He saw you scantily clad, post-bath glow and everything. You wonder what is going through his mind. 

Definitely nothing like the debauchery unfolding in yours. 

He has probably seen his fair share of women, and one hot to trot lady isn’t anything new. If anything, him dodging you is a sign of his civility, something you are lacking apparently--ready to jump his bones.

Stop thinking about his thighs, you whore. Get back home and trusty old Vlad the Impaler will take care of you.

The employee’s jaw almost hits the desk as Jungkook explains the situation. 

“Ma’am, Sir, we are extremely sorry about this confusion. We usually keep another key for family members, but somehow you got them both. We are deeply apologetic.”

“Yes, it’s okay, I’d just like my room key now and-”

“We will give you the best of our service to make up for this disorder. Not that we didn’t plan on giving you the best anyway, but now it will be top-notch! Please allow us to have your room cleaned again ma’am. Kyuyoung-ah! Get the people to prep 5338 and set 5337 again, and add more flowers!”

“Hey, that really won’t be necessary, we can just go back and forget about all thi-”

“And!” She continues, relentless, fully intent on doing her job, “Here are coupons for our round the clock pub! The ambiance is phenomenal, and our bartender makes a mean drink! You can use the facility for free during your stay. Hope this compensates for our gaffe. Once again, we are extremely sorry!”

She extends two passport-sized coupons that you hurriedly grab, wanting this quandary to end. 

The walk back to the elevator is less tight-lipped, only because Jungkook starts his deluge of apologies. Even though you had felt the same way on the flight, he was going overboard. You quickly assuage him and deflect his concerns.

“It’s okay, Jungkook. It really is. I know it was a mistake.”

“I know, but I shouldn’t have just walked in like that. I should have checked.”

Your expression is the visual form of a question mark. 

“Do you go around making sure your hotel room doesn’t have a surprise occupant?”

You’re taking this too lightly; it's obvious you are doing it for him. He can only laugh, broad delicious shoulders loosening in relief.

After a delay, you add, “You can’t help it if fate wants us crossing paths like this.” 

The quip makes Jungkook lose a beat. He cocks a brow in surprise - at that juncture, his features lose all boyish charm and turn unquestionably irresistible. 

Then, in a flash, the expression is replaced by his usual grin, back to his boy-next-door spirit. Are there world records for this speed? Jungkook needs to sign up to one.

Collecting the stars floating around your head, you return the favor, thankful that the barrier is now broken. 

After a quick break of courage gathering, you turn to him. “How come you’re staying in this hotel? Thought you’d be home.”

A thought is building in your mind; that this is too personal a question. But before you can take it back, you hear a chime. Jungkook moves. And somehow, you are moving with him. 

The elevator door opens, and people walk out. 

But that’s not where your attention is. 

You are focused on the sole patch of your body in contact with Jungkook’s arm. 

The palm of his hand sitting at the small of your waist is what had guided you away from the elevator. Even through the fabric of your t-shirt, his hand is sending goosebumps all over your body. The air feels twenty degrees too hot for you.

Jungkook is simply being his chivalrous self, while you are ready to get arrested for public nudity.

Woman, you are a disgrace. Get laid.

Jungkook will high five himself once he gets to his pad. 

Is it right to get so euphoric about the smallest act of intimacy? That too with a near stranger? He has no answer. You are special to him; that much he knows. And someone up there agrees with him as well, letting him run into you again (albeit under crude circumstances; he’ll take what he gets). In this proximity, he can hear the slight gasp that escapes you once you recognize his hold, feel your muscles tense, smell the flowery fragrance you still carry. The fragrance that takes his mind on a rewind routine; one he forces to a halt. He feels lewd for taking pleasure in that misfortune, but he can take pleasure in the present. 

Entering the elevator, Jungkook has taken note of one thing: the roles have been reversed. On the downward voyage, it had been him avoiding you. Now, even with the closeness, you refuse to meet his eye. Something on the carpeted floor has your unrelenting attention. Letting his gaze dip to you, he bit back a smirk. Good to know you are as affected by him as he is by you.

“It’s a shoot.” 

You relent, looking up to him. “Huh?”

“You asked me why I’m here, it’s a shoot. The site is close by, so we don’t waste time traveling. Once the shoot is done, we will get back home.”

“Ah, that makes sense.” 

You beg your grey matter to find some topic of conversation to halt the blood rushing to your cheeks. The atmosphere is frozen again, but not like last time. Any unease earlier present has drifted. The tension that once kept you from closeness now keeps you from moving apart. His hand sits unmoved, continuing to rest on your hip. Jungkook can hear the loud thudding of a heartbeat, but he cannot discern whether they are from his heart or from yours.

Continuing after a pause, “I will be here for a few days now.” he adds, the suggestive hint of the words masked by his innocuous smile. 

“Ah.” You lamely add. You ought to kick yourself - but at this closeness, you might hit him too. 

The span of your separation is contracting, even though none of you move. Like the land underneath you is shifting, because even Mother Earth can’t handle the sexual tension in this confined space. 

“Ma’am, Sir, you’re here!” 

The booming voice of an employee disrupts the scene. You jump, wondering how you didn’t hear the door open, while Jungkook takes a graceful step back unscathed. 

“Your rooms are ready, please follow me.”

The walk back is quiet, except for bashfully exchanged glances and racing pulses. When you finally reach your respective rooms, he speaks again. 

“Want to accidentally cross paths with me at the bar?”

The heat reaches your ears. A moment of silence prompts you to look up, and you are held hostage by his eyes. His gaze flickers, intense and probing. Then, as if it never happened, his eyes narrow and his smile softens, harmless and easy. Again, this has to be witchcraft.

“Maybe we’ll let destiny decide. Hasn’t failed us so far.” 

Now, alone in bed with nothing but your thoughts, you wonder when it will ever happen again.

Three days. Three days before it happens again.

Three days filled with conferences, a ton of files, and a lot of battery acid disguised as coffee. Apart from the success of your work, the highlight of your time is when Jake tried to fix his shoe heel at a meeting and ended up gluing his fingers together. In a quiet room filled with immersed employees, he had yelled, “Superglue, my ass!”. 

The punctuation was not vocalized. 

Tonight was your last night in Seoul. It was supposed to be a night to yourself, but an office party pulled you out of your cavern to get dressed. You put on an elegant dress, a black and silver number, only to find the ‘party’ was the most monotonous excuse of networking. High-end businessmen exchanging cards over non-alcoholic fizz was not your idea of a party, so you quickly excused yourself. 

The coupon still weighed heavy in your purse, carrying memoirs of the last time you saw him. You had wanted to go earlier, but always held yourself back. What if he wasn’t there? What if you missed your chance? Why did you have to sashay away with a cool statement that night instead of clawing your way through the lust-filled air and settling things then and there? 

You supposed a drink at the hotel bar on your last night couldn’t be a bad thing, even if Jungkook didn’t show up.

So here you are, sipping on your wine and trying to appear nonchalant as you look out the window overseeing the city’s skyline. One ear is trained to the door of the pub, the slightest peep from that corner alerting your antenna. 

So far, no sign of him. 

This won’t work, you tell yourself. Second time’s a charm, third time’s pushing it too far. 

But as you wave the bartender to top up your drink, the corner of your eye catches movement; one, two, three heads appear through the door. Signature multichromatic mops of hair make their way in, forcing your pulse to marathon mode. 

And then you hear it. 

You hear his trademark cachinnate echoing through the structure. Multitudes of contrasting sentiments fill your gut. Are you sensing relief, that fate served its purpose without fail? Or is it the anticipation of how events will unfold? A sense of titillation, that a three-day old bond makes you feel more than year-old relationships you’ve had? You pry your eyes from that direction, trying to appear aloof when you are anything but. 

When you think you’ve gathered your composure, you look up. Like a hare falling for its bait, you are trapped, because he is looking right back at you.

Jin and Jimin are laughing about something that happened on set today, but Jungkook only has eyes for you. He can’t believe his luck. 

The past few days, his schedule had no give. After every shoot, the only thing he remembered was taking off his shoes and falling into a deep slumber.

So today when the shoot wrapped up earlier, Jungkook grabbed his trusty wingmen and open bar enthusiasts to utilize his coupon, and possibly test his kismet.

“Wasn’t she on our flight?” Jin observes, tracking Jungkook’s sight. 

“Oh yeah! Dude, is she the one?” Jimin keenly notes. “How do you keep bumping into each other like this?”

Jungkook downs his whisky, the burn felt from the throat to his diaphragm. “I don’t know, hyung. I don’t know what to do.” Beckoning the bartender for a refill, he tears away from your sight. 

 “Okay, liquid fortification is all good but how about,” Jin stops briefly to pluck the coupon out of Jungkook’s hands, “we handle the drinks department while you attend to her?”

Jimin nods in assent. “The worst thing you could do is spend time with her slurring and garbling while she ditches your sorry ass.”

“Hey! I won’t do that. Just, ” Jungkook gulps, “I don’t know... We’ve met like, hardly a few times. It really doesn’t make sense. What if we’re not on the same page?”

Jimin frowns, and even Jin seems unhappy with his reasoning.

“Things don’t have to make sense. You’re two consenting adults. You like her. By the way she’s eyeing you right now, I’m sure the feeling is mutual. You said it’s easy to talk to her right?”

Jungkook pouts, but sees his point.

“Then go with that. Don’t chart out a plan, just go with your heart.” Jin adopts a soft smile of encouragement. 

“Meanwhile we will grab the others and exploit this coupon to the full extent!” Jimin gleefully appends.

Jungkook’s eyes crinkle as he laughs with the other two. They are right. Carpe diem, right?

Finding you again, his breath hitches. You look beautiful. The sleek black dress with silver embellishments over the torso. It hugs you in the right places, accentuating your already alluring frame. Your shoulders bare, elegant collarbones waiting to be tasted. Hair tied up, exposing the delicious curve of your neck, a stretch Jungkook wants to pepper kisses onto, without missing a spot. You look exquisite against the backdrop of the night.

Carpe noctem it is. 

“Did you really dress up to use the coupon?” The tongue-in-cheek query breaking your line of thought.

A breathy chuckle leaves your lips, hopefully masking the frenzy in your heart. 

“I had a party. A very dull party. Figured I preferred my own company over that.” 

“Do you prefer your own company over mine?”

He’s still standing, tall frame waiting for your permission to occupy the next seat. God, he looks amazing.

“Not at all.” The words leave huskier than you intend, but they convey the message.

He takes the seat, a mere step away, his cologne wafting over to your side. The alcohol buzz makes the scent feel stronger, every bone in you wanting to dive in nose-first. 

Apparently you have been staring, because he nervously chuckles “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Should you go the modest route or fuck it?

Fuck it.

“You look... great today,” is all you get out. Stupid brain spewing half-baked goods.

Understatement of the year. He looks like sin incarnate. All black attire highlighting his golden skin, the dichotomy of his whole look has you understandably tongue-tied. Black jeans - no rips, sadly- with a dark grey high-neck t-shirt, tucked in of course, because pain is the only constant for you. A black trench coat is thrown on top to seal the look. The obsidian outfit sends desperate need through your body, an intense desire to rip it all off surging through you. Somehow, through all these layers you can sense his fit body, his rippled muscles, his sturdy pecs, like they have an aura of their own. 

“Ah, thank you. You look amazing as well.” Halting a moment to sip his drink, he resumes.  “Sucks that you dressed up for nothing.”

“Well, you liked it. So it's not for nothing.”

If looks were potent, Jungkook’s own could set you on fire. Gaze coolly raking over your figure, the tick in his jaw betrays his reaction. A chill passes through every part of your body under his intense scrutiny.

“Are there other things you would wear… if I liked it?” He carefully treads.

“There are certain things I’m wearing right now that I’m sure you would appreciate.” 

If not for the shrinking distance between you two, you couldn’t have caught the low hiss. His animalistic need, usually kept well under control, is raging against its bonds, screaming to let go. Your exquisite gown, flowing down your curves, accentuating the swell of your ass - God save this dress from his feral hands. Against his will, he restrains himself. He would make this a lasting encounter. 

“How many drinks have you had?” He needs you to remember every single moment.

“Two glasses of wine, don’t worry. You?” 

“A shot of whisky, that’s all. Haven’t even finished my second drink.”

Gone were his cherubic appearance and dimpled smiles; the man in front of you is oozing pure sex appeal. His clenched jawline, furrowed brow, and perfectly placed tresses add to his raw masculinity. The cusp of your thighs is damp; if this is his effect here, what will it be behind locked doors? You wonder whether this is the same man that gushed about old-era video games in the flight. 

“Well, if you are wearing them for me, I’d be a fool to miss them.” he brings you back to the present. Twinkling eyes match your eager ones as you give a small nod.

Every step you take shoots a thrilling tingle through your spine. Every inch of distance closed forces you to close the next with doubled speed. Every foot forward adds to the thick air, laced with hunger, desire, and an inordinate amount of trust placed in the hands of a stranger. 

The first time you two walked back to the elevator, his move had caught you unaware. 

Now, the arm wraps around your entire waist, body flush against his, yet you yearn to get closer. 

Last time, you couldn’t match his gaze, skin burnt a crimson hue. 

Now, your eyes are locked together, any movement in your surroundings be damned.

Michael Jackson rising from the dead and performing Thriller wouldn’t tear you away from your current view (sorry MJ, maybe next time).

When the doors close, he places a palm on your bare back, bringing you to his chest.

“I’ve wanted this so bad, ever since I met you. It’s insane.”

The hand caressing your back makes you sigh. “Not if I wanted the same.”

His grip tightens. “The things I want to do to you...” eyes searching yours, ”tell me you can handle it.”

“Oh baby,” you drawl, “I’ll do whatever you want. Whatever it is,” your lips hover on his, “I can take it.”

The elevator doors opened too soon for your liking, and Jungkook drags you through the corridor. You’re practically hanging on to him, feet barely responsive, the faint buzz of wine making you giddy. His hawkish gaze soaks in everything you do, memorizing every response to his touch. 

You lean over to lay wet kisses on his neck. Pleasure searing through his veins, Jungkook’s knees almost buckle. He pushes you against a wall and locks you in with his form.

“Uh-uh-uh, honey,” he tsks, “you’re not making this easy on me?”

You pretend to ponder. “Well, I didn’t plan on making it easy.”

He smirks, all sex, and the wetness between your legs is making its presence known. Leaning into your ear, he whispers, “Unless you want me to have my way with you right here…” and all your brattiness dissipates. 

Satisfied, he grins. “Your place or mine?” 

“Hmmn, depends.”

He cocks a brow. “On?”

“Am I gonna be able to walk tomorrow?”

That damned smirk. “Your place it is.”

Jungkook’s lips are on yours the moment your door is locked. He cages you against its frame, teeth clashing and biting anything they find. You let your hands roam all over, searching for something to hold on to. A throaty sound leaves Jungkook when your digits card through his hair and tug on it, a sound you gladly swallow.

Time seems to have taken a break. Your thoughts are blank. You chase the kiss like it's the only thing you know, the only thing you’re born to do, your sole mission in life before you die. The bruising pace Jungkook set is eagerly matched by you. Gravity is slowly losing its meaning, and you’re nothing but a stray entity floating in space. And this kiss is your only source of air. 

Jungkook pulls you towards him, closing the nonexistent distance between you. Heat rises from his chest, the feeling is hypnotic beyond reason. A taste of you has ruined every other flavor. He kept his eyes half-open, sneaking peeks at your flushed face whenever you come for air. His fingers explored your body, grabbing your ass and pulling you into him. Your clothed crevice jolts at the friction, hips hounding for more.

The moan that leaves you gets muted, because Jungkook takes this opportunity to take control. Tongue forcing its way in to explore every corner of your mouth, it melds with your own muscle. If this were a dance, it would be a fierce tango, oozing with sexual tension. Breathing is now trivial, this kiss is imperative. 

Jungkook’s hands grab your hips and twirl you, both of you now facing a full-length mirror. You can witness your neckline being abused, mulberry blossoms left in place. The sight has your sex clenching, and lips liberated, you couldn’t stop yourself from mewling.

“Fuck, Y/N. I’m going to make you scream so loud, the hotel reception will hear you.”

With your head spinning in lust, you try to form your words right. “An- And what? Discuss how a second room for you was - oh god - was useless?” 

Jungkook pauses to admire his craft; your neck, shoulders, and collar are now littered with bruises, like a garden of hyacinth at his disposal. The view is maddening, your lusty gaze locked on to him in the mirror. His mane is tousled, no doubt your handiwork, and his hand is tracing the outline of your dress. 

“That cursed day,” He chokes out, “You were so fucking hard to resist you know?”

You turn back to face him, hand reaching back to undo your halter neck, “You have me now.” Stepping back, you let your gown fall.

He froze. You are standing in front of him, robed in only your black lace-embroidered strapless bra, and matching panties, each adorned with a white bow. The swell of your breasts barely caged in the cups, making Jungkook drool at sight. All the wind was knocked out of his lungs; you look like a prisoner’s last meal, waiting to be devoured. 

“On your knees.” he commands.  

Not a second is put to waste. You begin undressing him, unbuckling the pants and aggressively pulling them down. Next come the boxers, and you are faced with-

Wow.

You mean this in the nicest way, but, what a dick.

He is already hard, the mushroomed tip angry and red, leaking a drop of precum begging to be tasted. The girth exceeds your expectation, already visualizing the delicious visual of your cunt stretched thin. He is going to reach places even Vlad the Impaler couldn’t; you are already brimming with anticipation for the final act.

And his thighs. Nothing angelic about them. Taut. Muscular. Sinewy. Something uncivilized in you wants them to trap your frame between them, caging you, pinning you down. You press kisses on his inner thigh, letting your tongue poke out when you hear him exhale. A sharp bite shocks Jungkook, but you only smirk.

“Wanted to do that since I saw you.” 

The stare that meets you is practically challenging you to try that again, and perhaps reap some delicious consequences.

You bring yourself back, giving his cock the full attention that it deserves. Looking up, you see his half-lidded eyes, assertive and arresting, compelling you to go on. 

You bring your palm up to him. He raised a brow in question.

“Spit for me.”

Jungkook almost busts his load when he hears you. “Fuck, so dirty.” he garbles out. Rolling his neck in an attempt to divert his blood, he takes your hand and drops a thick glob at the center of your palm. 

A throaty moan arises from you, and his dick is harder than ever.

“Go on baby, show me you can suck dick like a champ.”

You give him a confident look; you’re about to rock his world. Starting with small licks, you tease the slit and taste the pre-cum lodged in it. Meanwhile, you work the spit along the shaft; you spit on it again, the original amount insufficient to cover the length. You can feel his dick twitching against your attention, eager to be sheathed. Interspersing with some long drags on the underside, you zero in on the pinched skin under the head. 

Jungkook is staring at your jerking him off. The sight of you, clad in lingerie is blowing his mind. If that was not enough, the mirror in front is providing a sumptuous secondary perspective. The smooth stretch of your back, the swell of your ass, the panty fabric barely able to cover the expanse, everything on you is making him short circuit. Seeing you on your knees, your deferential nature stirs something in him. If he doesn’t control himself, he will bend you in half and ride you to sunrise. He doesn’t want to scare you, but fuck, his depraved early man instincts are telling him otherwise. 

“What are you- ohhh, holy shi-”

Instead of slipping his cock fully into your mouth, you hold it up, and pay careful attention to his balls. Jungkook’s hands come to rest on your head, a telltale sign of his unraveling. With a smile, you let your tongue swipe through every nook and corner till they are coated in saliva.

“You think you’re such a fucking tease, ” He grabs you by your now unraveled tresses and pulls you back, “Ease up baby, your throat is in for a treat.”

In one quick swoop, he lodges himself at the base of your throat, provoking your gag reflex, but you restrain the urge to pull back. Breathing through your nose, you suck and swallow whatever you can; his girth isn't giving you much to work with.

Jungkook growls. “Such a tight fit. Like you’re meant to be like this. Forever.”

The last word slips out unwittingly. 

Alarmed, his eyes flit down to gauge your response, but all you are doing is looking back at him. 

Fuck, your dovelike eyes are captivating. They look so angelic, a complete contrast to the perverse posture you are in. Not an ounce of displeasure in response to his words. Pure, unadulterated affection for him. Only for him. 

“God, you’re going to be the death of me.” Jungkook husks. “You’ll do anything for me, you said?”

Muffled whimpers impart your compliance, and you bob your head up and down for good measure. The tip of his cock hits every ridge of your throat, the vibration releasing more fluid down.

“Pleasure yourself, baby. Touch yourself, but don’t you cum.”

Your brow distresses further, a disgruntled whine leaving you and reverberating around him. Already so turned on, the lightest friction would make you combust.

Jungkook’s teeth clench. “Edge yourself for me, sweetie.” 

It's like your body is tuned to his command. Slipping two fingers under the band, you part and slide them on either side of your throbbing nub. Despite you avoiding any pressure point that might push you over the edge, the pleasure threatens to tip you over. 

You look over for his approval. Swallowing, he nods. Your self-stimulation is making him dizzy. It's time to get serious.

“Such a good girl. Don’t stop, okay? I’m going to fuck your throat raw.” Starting with mellow jerks, “Hope you don’t have to speak anytime tomorrow.” he rasps.

The carpeted floor grazing your knees only adds to the revelry. You’re not in control of yourself anymore. The back of your gullet is aching as Jungkook shoves into you again and again. An amalgamation of his salty juices and your dribble lewdly coats your chin and neck; you must look ravished. Everything with Jungkook feels augmented; every single motion of his making your sex clench. 

He is close - you can feel his grip on your hair tightening. 

“Can I cum on you?” words slither through his clamped teeth. You frantically nod. 

With a loud grunt, he pulls you off and releases all over your chest, a stray pump landing on your chin. Thick liquid, dripping from your jaw onto your collarbones and breasts, the whole scene is filthy good. Your unfilled cunt is aching to be replete with the cum. 

Post-orgasmic glow is dazzling on him--hair drenched in sweat, tufts sticking to his forehead. His breathing is heavy and resonant as dilated pupils take in your soaked state. Bending down, he crooks a finger under your chin, anchoring his attention on your dewy stare. The onyx embers in his eyes bore into yours, studying for any hesitation in them. A microscopic moment of tenderness, unspoken words exchange between you. 

Satisfied to find only searing hunger, his digits collect the beads of cum on your jaw, pushing them back into your mouth. Your eyes roll skyward, relishing the briny taste, nearly asking him to do it again. Leaning further, he grabs the wrist of your hand that is thoughtlessly rubbing your sex - you didn’t even realize you were still doing it. You feel drained, like you orgasmed vicariously through him. 

“My turn.” He wears a devilish expression on his archangel eyes.

Lips connect once again as he pulls you up. If he tastes himself, he is relishing it, with his tongue exploring the deep cavern. With wobbly ankles, you let him guide you to your bed, dropping on your back. He follows you, pouncing on you, plunging into your mouth again like a beast hungered. Bodies melting together like an icicle under the summer blaze, your hands hunt to frisk his skin. Realizing he is yet to undress, you yank at this t-shirt, attempting to liberate him from the offending fabric.

“Tsk, greedy.” he bit your ear, soothing the sting with a kiss. 

“Cruel is what it is.” You huff, like everything he’s doing is not a blissful affair. 

How do men do that? Violently ripping their shirt off and leaving a messy mop of hair in its wake, nevertheless looking like they could walk a runway the next instant. Jungkook was no exception. The moment he pulls his shirt off, you are rendered speechless.

Chiseled chest like the work of an artisan. Droplets of sweat race down the paths traced by the sculpted abs, an intense desire to taste them forming in you. He is a mesomorphic dream who puts Greek gods to shame. Swallowing, you let your hand trace the outline of his pecks, feeling him shudder against your touch.

“Jungkook, please.”

Who was he to deny you?

Leaning up to you with a wicked smirk, Jungkook drops a thick line of spit right on your hardened nipple. The concoction of his cum and spit soaks through the lacy material. A lone finger circles, avoiding the spot that requires the most attention. You arch your back, begging him for more, just more of anything. The wet fabric amplifies the emptiness in your cunt. 

“Aww,” he coos, clearly amused by your neediness, “undo this for me, sweetness. Let me see you.”

Moving at lightning speed, you unhook the bra, swinging it away to a corner of the room. 

“Oh no.” He mock-frowns, veins bulging on his arm as he controls himself. “Look at these tits, fuck.” Mind reeling with ideas, filthy ideas, of all the things he wants to do to you. “You’ve ruined everything else for me.”

You tremble. “Good, so have you. Want you for myself. Want you,” pulling him close, “to do your worst.” you end with a whisper.

Jungkook’s jaw tightens. “Careful what you ask for,” he grits before diving headfirst into your bosom. 

He licks and laves and bites and laps--your breasts are on fire. Continuing his marking spree, new blemishes make an appearance on your torso. Nibbling on one nipple, he pinches the other; pulling moan after moan from you. 

Your hips barely touch the bed, bucking up in response to Jungkook’s sinking teeth into your ample bust. He has decided to not leave an inch without his saliva, and like a man on a mission, covers every part with rapt attention. 

“Yo- You don’t have to--oh holy fuck--you don’t have to, cover me in marks you kno--ohh my go-” The sentence is spastic, piercing mewls breaking your flow of speech and thought. 

“These fucking tits,” roughly clasping your pert breast in his large palm, “they look so much better like this.” The proud smile he shows has not the slightest hint of regret. 

Catching a break, he twiddles your nipples, letting his other hand sit on your covered sex. He is teasing you; you recognize that. Just giving you opportunities to disobey, to take all the pain he has to offer.

It’s a good thing you like the pain.

You slowly roll your hips, trying to grind against his palm, taking whatever help you can get.

A sharp smack lands on your clit, shooting your eyes open - you don’t even know when they closed. Jungkook’s hand is soothing the site of the blow, the pain converting to pleasure under his touch. 

“Patience, sweetness,” the gravely whisper sending tingles down your spine, “such a good girl for me.”

You give him a slight nod - he smacks you again, once, twice, thrice, without a break. Your entrance is smarting, but you want to give him everything. Biting your lips to stop the labored moans escaping, you clench your eyes and savor the burn.

Your show of obedience has Jungkook’s heart thronging. Fuck, he was enjoying toying with you. Playing you like a fiddle. You produce every tone he desires in the form of wanton melodies, he wants to play them over and over again like his favorite song.

“How are we doing?” he asks, a shit-eating grin plastered on him. Before you could answer, his fingers shallowly enter your soaked pussy, still hampered by the cloth. 

“You- fuck, you said I was the tease here?” Your hands are at his wrist, begging to pull the scrap of cloth aside and have his way. 

He comes to face your sopping mound, pausing only to speak “Never said I wasn’t,” and starts pressing soft, feathery kisses. “That day, seeing you dripping in that towel, I dreamt of having these legs around me.”

“I swear, at least take it off - oh Jungkoo-”

Without warning, he kneads your ass and pushes you into his face. 

You feel like you’ve been on the edge for hours. The suckle on your engorged clit along with the abrasion of the lace gets you so close. So damn close. So, so clo-

The tightness in your belly finally snaps and you howl, gushing your vat of arousal onto his face. The high was more intense than you had imagined, so high that you wonder if you will ever find your way back to reality. You feel like a rock in space, aimlessly floating in the vast nothingness.

You dimly notice Jungkook toying with the lacy hem of your panties, pulling it back to snap it against your hip. The sting is soon forgotten, along with your panties flung across the bed, as he parks himself back between your legs.

“You smell incredible.” He approves, taking a long whiff of your honeyed center. “Look at you, so messy.” He licks a long stripe along your crease. “Messy girl, I should clean you up.”

“Wait Jungkook-” you oppose, lids heaving in pleasure. “I need you inside me, please. I can’t take -oof”

Gnawing at your sodden folds, he let his nose press against your clit. “You’re so fucking tight, you think you can take me?” He shakes his head. “Gotta stretch you out, gotta make me fit.” He presses his tongue against your nub, feeling it throb in anticipation. “And I think you can give me one more.” He ends, before invading your drenched channel with two fingers. You are putting up with his torments the best you can; walls fluttering against his lips, legs entwined behind Jungkook’s back trapping him between your thighs. 

“Ah! God - I, I can’t-” Your eyes are screwed shut, hands bunching the sheets in your grasp.

His fingers fluctuate between scissoring motions, their lengths opening you up for him and curling inside, fingertips finding the rough patch inside. He adds a third finger, pussy straining to accommodate them all. Your thighs clench in the burn, and he groans into your pussy at the pressure. Increasing the pace, he pumps into you harder and faster, sucking your puffy lips in tandem. 

“Please, please, harder - let me cum - please oh go-” 

“Fuck yeah baby, your pussy is just sucking me in. You like that? You like me shoving into your cunt?”

“Uungh yes yes I love it!”

“Doesn’t it hurt? Or are you such a slut for pain? Tell me, tell me you’re a pain slut.”

“Fuck, Jungkook, don’t you stop- I am! I am a pain slut! Your pain slut!”

“Goood girrrll,” he husks out. Even though he is taking charge, your words are what control him. “Only mine. My pain slut will come for me now.”

A spray of cum ejects out of you, coating Jungkook’s chest and inundating your legs. The coherent part in you recognizes that you just squirted, but the neanderthal side shuts all recognition of anything that is not Jungkook’s cock. Even after two climaxes, you are hungry to get more. More of him. 

If you don’t fuck him now, you will lose your capability to reason. 

Limbs still heavy and reeling from the ravaging, you pick your pieces and drag Jungkook to the headboard. 

“I’m going to ride you.” you declare and straddle him. 

Jungkook is staring fixedly at your still-leaking cunt. Running his tongue over his lower lip, and licking the remnant syrup of your release. You position yourself, letting the drippage fall directly on his erection. He twitches, eyes still feasting on the mess you are making. 

Finding purchase on his shoulders, you lower yourself. Jungkook’s breath staggers as you drag your inner lips along his hard shaft. You repeat this motion till your fluids drip to his balls. 

“Y/N, I swear to God, if you don’t stop with this-”

“You’ll do what?” you challenge, an eyebrow raised in response to his threat. 

He grabs you by your waist, jerking you up before bringing you down on his dick. Your cunt, creamy from his earlier ministrations, gives no resistance to his hardness. His cock twitches inside as you bottom out. Pulling you closer, he bites your lip and tugs at it. 

“I’ll do this.”

A sharp spank makes you clench around him, the supple flesh of your ass ricocheting in response. 

“Go on baby, ride me.” 

The low-grained command sets you in motion. Slowly gyrating your hips, you feel every ridge of this length inside. Jungkook’s grip on your waist tightens, and you’re sure you will see evidence of it tomorrow. Your grasp on his shoulders isn’t faring any better. 

“You’re so tight, fuck, and so wet. Who made you like this, huh?” A second spank punctuating his question.

“Oh God, you-”, you barely manage to recognize your own voice, “You, Jungkook! Only you!” 

“That’s fucking right, only me.” 

Hips snapping, he meets you halfway. Both of you are lost in each other, lewd sounds of your skin slapping and juices quelching barely muffled by your desperate whines and moans of passion. Eyes locked in like magnets, neither of you could look away. 

Jungkook pulls back a little, slapping your jiggling tit. Your sex clenches, and the following slap has you lodging yourself in the crook of his neck, searching for a reprieve. 

“Want some help?”

One swift move and you are on your stomach, face pushed into a pillow, and ass out. A final spank lands right in the middle, and you can feel it pulsate everywhere. He pushes back into your glistening core, taking control of your pleasure and pain. One hand carding through the nape of your neck, pushing you down, the other hand grabbing your waist and setting the pace. The new angle hits deeper, you feel so full. 

“Jungkoo--unghh I need to cum! Need to- umph- cum so bad!” You are wailing at this point, shame lying somewhere near your flung clothes.

“Fuck, babe, me too. Go ahead and play with yourself, nice and slow.”

It takes a few swipes for the tightness in you to detonate. Tears flood your face as you unravel, your orgasm crashing into you like waves of a tsunami. You clench tight, wetness flows out of your hole as Jungkook pumps in and out, chasing his high. 

He comes undone soon after, ropes of his ejaculate filling your insides. He stays in, plugging you as if to not allow any of it out. But as his member softens, he gives in, turning you on your back to meet his face. 

Butterfly-soft kisses are exchanged after the blazing encounter. He asks you if you’re okay between breaths, a tender murmur you almost miss, as if you weren’t screaming your lungs out moments ago. Nuzzling into his neck, you confirm.

A snort disrupts the silence. Looking up, you see Jungkook chuckling.

In response to your cocked eyebrow, he says “Want to talk about what a freak you are?”

“Want to talk about what a hypocrite you are?”

“Hey, you asked me to spit on you!”

You mock-gasp, hand on chest for the extra effect. “My breasts need medical attention after your attention! Freak!” 

Laughter echoes in the room as you two tumble in the blankets, and you feel his release seeping out of you. Turning to him, you pout, “Your mess is leaking out of me.” 

Jungkook gets up to leave the bed, and you expect a wet towel coming your way. 

What you don’t expect is him parting your legs, gunmetal eyes following the rivulets escaping your abused hole. 

“Your cunt smells so good with my cum on it,” he purrs. 

He gathers the escaping thick liquid and pushes it back into your quivering core. 

Jolting with oversensitivity, you try to stall him but he is fingering you with a vengeance. The ache and soreness soon dispel, bringing forth a new wave of ecstasy. His unrelenting stare concentrates on the mix of fluids on his fingers. With a few strokes on your sensitive bundle of nerves and fingers stuffed inside, you come again, legs shivering and pussy overflowing, his juices intermingled with yours. 

You are dazed; you’ve lost track of everything. The room is spinning in front of you and your body feels like lead. All you can manage is to arch your neck, and plead, “No more, you freak.” 

Jungkook giggles, eyes crinkling in good humor. Ah, the duality of this man is a force to reckon with. You can’t believe this is the same man that fucked you into your bed like a primordial beast. There’s no way you can move anytime soon. 

After a clean-up interval, you are wrapped in each other's arms, melting into the embrace. His musky fragrance putting you at ease, you tuck your in the nook of his neck, basking in the aroma. Hands pressed against his broad chest, exuding warmth for you. His hand cradles your head, snuggling in closer till there is no space to cover. Sweet nothings whispered into each other’s lips, tender kisses exchanged in place of the scorching ones that had passed. You drift in and out of your slumber, fearing the sun would ascend too soon and break you apart. 

A dim glow from the other end of the bed wakes you up. On turning you find Jungkook, dressed in his now-wrinkled clothes, seated on the edge. His gaze, pensive. You lay a hand on his thigh.

“Oh, did the light wake you?”

The alarm on his face makes you smile. “No, your absence did.” 

The corners of his mouth turned up, eyeing you with softness. 

“I have an early schedule. I didn’t want to wake you, but, ” he lets his palm rest on yours, “I also didn’t want to leave without it.”

Neither of you know how to walk away from this. The silence is deafening, unuttered sentiments hanging in the still air. Jungkook’s chest is heavy. 

This is insane. He wants to lay you against a bed of flowers, treat you like the delicate petal you bear resemblance to, worship your body till the sun succumbs to your blazing passion. How is he to explain that his heart is beating through his chest for someone he knows for mere days? He rifles through his memories for a similar instance. 

He finds none. 

Maybe you don’t feel the same way. Maybe, you are blissfully unaware of the tumultuous emotions lurching in the pit of his belly. He can’t assume you will echo his lovesick needs, but he can’t let go. 

You inch closer. 

Fervid feelings die hard. He probes your eyes searching for an intensity matching his. 

You let your lips convey the answer.

Passionate as ever, you draw him into the kiss. His lashes flutter against your rosy cheeks. At the moment, there is no dominance in him. Almost like his tongue, dragging across your swollen lips, is healing the brutality of last night. If you pull back, he comes after you; an incessant tug of war no player wants to win. 

“Please Jungkook,” you choke between kisses, “Please tell me this isn’t the last of us.”

He is hovering on top of you, the galaxy in his eyes twinkling at your words. 

“Please, I don’t want this to end.” You continue against his lips. Head versus heart, you fought a losing battle; how were you to stall the inevitable? Fueled, you plunge your tongue into him, determined to make your ardor known. The void of ferocity is filled with slow sensuality; like he is the sole reservoir to quench your thirst. 

“Y/N”, he breathes out, “I feel like I know everything about you and nothing about you at the same time.” Resting your foreheads against one another, he continues. “I’m not about to let fate decide when we cross paths again.”

A grin finds your lips. “Destiny really pulled its weight here, didn’t it?”

He wordlessly nods, not wanting to break the tranquility in place. However, it is short-lived; his phone’s ringer makes sure of it. 

“Yeah, I’ll be right down.” Something the speaker says turns Jungkook scarlet red. “I said I’ll be right there!” he yells before ending the call.

“The members are asking why I wasn’t in my room.” he clarifies, waggling his brows.  You join his laughter, happy to have just the simple moment with him. 

After exchanging numbers (and a photo for keepsake), Jungkook presses one last kiss, lips promising to find each other again. Somehow, you don’t say goodbye. You just stare at his disappearing body, confident that the next encounter is not far. 

Jake is babbling about his night, how he managed to ditch the god-awful party and hang out with some overenthusiastic college-goers who paid for his drinks with their trust fund dough. This is usually the time you ask him if he’s proud of mooching off of children, but today his exaggerated narrative is cracking you up. 

His forehead creases. “What’s up with you today? You haven’t vowed to skin me alive even once.”

“You like it when I threaten bodily harm?”

“I’m kinky like that.”

You just shrug. Erotic images make a fleeting appearance in your mind, but they are interrupted by your flight announcement. 

“Aren’t you glad this is over? You can go back to overworking yourself in your office instead of a hotel!” Jake remarks, throwing his bag over his shoulder. “At least your back won’t break in the travel.”

Thinking over your experience in the city, you confess “Actually, I look forward to returning here.”

A thought slips in, curving your mouth into a smile. You quietly add,

“And yeah, my back was broken all right.”

Thank you for making it to the end! Please do let me know what you think!

[antebunny]

Parent Trap AU Part 2

...with a side of on-the-run hacker!wwx AU and celebrity!lwj AU. Full series here).

“It’s not going to work,” Wei Sizhui says when they corner him after breakfast the following morning.

The three boys fold their arms and block the path, as if Wei Sizhui can’t just walk around them on the grass.

“Why not?!” Ouyang Zizhen wails.

“You don’t understand,” Lan Jingyi wheedles. “This is the most interesting thing that’s ever happened to me. Yeah my uncle is a celebrity, but he’s so boring.”

Jin Rulan huffs. “Why do we even need his help? We can just find him on the last day of camp!”

Wei Sizhui pinches the bridge of his nose with two fingers. He can feel a headache coming on. “Guys. No. They really cannot meet,” he says.

“But why not?” Ouzang Zizhen says again.

“Because,” Wei Sizhui says patiently, “my dad is wanted for kidnapping. Kidnapping me. From my other dad.”

All three of them just stare at him.

“So if your uncle met my dad while I’m there…” Wei Sizhui shakes his head. “That’s really just bad.”

Lan Jingyi plonks himself down on the paved path right there. “Okay, wait, wait,” he says. “Explain this to us again.”

“We have class in twenty minutes,” Jin Rulan complains, but he sits down too.

“Yeah!” Ouyang Zizhen hurries to scoot in between them. “Tell us the story, Sizhui.”

“I told you yesterday,” Wei Sizhui protests, but when none of them so much as blink, he sighs and sits down as well. “My dad was in prison,” he begins, and they all nod along. “Someone hired by the Jins attacked him in prison and he realized that he wasn’t safe, and I wasn’t safe.” They’re still nodding along, so Wei Sizhui continues. “So he broke out of prison,” he finishes, “and took me from my other dad’s house, and we’ve been on the run ever since.”

They stop nodding.

“But that doesn’t make any sense,” Jin Rulan says plainly. “Why didn’t he go to my mom? Or my uncle?”

“Or Jingyi’s uncle?” Ouyang Zizhen puts in. “Why didn’t he go to Jingyi’s uncle?”

Wei Sizhui shrugs helplessly. It seems rather straightforward to him. He doesn’t understand what they’re confused about. “Why would he? That makes no sense.”

“And why wouldn’t Lan Jingyi’s uncle be a target if you were?” Jin Rulan demands. “They were married! That doesn’t make any sense!”

Once again, Wei Sizhui can only shrug in the face of their questions. “Maybe he thought nobody would expect him to care about an ex who abandoned him.”

“My uncle would never,” Lan Jingyi says, face red. “You take that back! That’s–not what happened!”

Wei Sizhui is indeed taken aback by Lan Jingyi’s insistence. His dad doesn’t talk much about his ex-husband, it’s true. Well, his dad really doesn’t ever talk about Wei Sizhui’s other dad, but Wei Sizhui knows that even after they divorced, his dad still carries their wedding photo around every country they go to, so he supposes he just assumed.

“Yeah, why would Lan Wangji keep a photo of your dad in his wallet if he doesn’t care?” Ouyang Zizhen challenges.

Wei Sizhui rubs his eyes with the heels of his hands. It’s too early in the morning for this. He just wants to go to class and stop thinking about his dad’s former love life. “Can we please just go to class?” He begs.

“No!” Jin Rulan refuses. “Until you explain why we can’t get them to meet!”

“Even if everything does go well, my dad is still wanted for forgery and hacking in half a dozen countries,” Wei Sizhui argues. “What would them meeting do other than make them both sad? And even if Lan Wangji didn’t divorce my dad, he can’t be happy that my dad just ran off with me. It’s been nine years! They’re probably both over each other.”

Wei Sizhui has precious few memories of his other dad, and he’s never quite worked up the courage to ask for more from his dad. Lan Wangji is a tall, sturdy giant in his memories. He recalls large, warm, gentle hands, a deep voice that sung him lullabies, and a steady presence that watched him stick his tiny toddler hands through the bars to pet their two pet bunny rabbits.

But the most vivid memory Wei Sizhui has of his other dad is his warm, steady presence carefully lifting Wei Sizhui away from the glass and blocking his view of his dad. His large, warm hand came down to pat Wei Sizhui’s head, but he was talking to Wei Wuxian.

“I am sorry,” he said. “You cannot see Sizhui anymore.”

“Whose decision was this.” Dad’s voice was distorted through the glass, but even then, Wei Sizhui knew he’d never heard his dad so angry before.

Wei Sizhui clutched his dad’s leg. Pat pat, went the hand.

“I am sorry,” his dad repeated.

“Whose decision, Lan Wangji.”

“...Mine.”

Afterwards, after the yelling was over and Wei Sizhui went home with Lan Wangji, he remembers gripping his dad’s hand with all the strength in his chubby little fingers, like he might disappear at any moment, and asking; “When are we gonna see Papa again?”

Wei Sizhui was too small to see his dad’s face at that moment. Too young to remember whether it was sidewalk or carpet he walked on, what shoes he wore or what the name of the city he lived in was. What he remembered was the way his dad squeezed back, even tighter, and said never.

Wei Sizhui remembers never once considering that his dad could be lying. Not even when he woke up months later, in the middle of the night, to find his dad back and in the middle of a very intense game of hide-and-seek.

It’s been nine long years since then, and Wei Sizhui doesn’t think he wants to see his other dad again.

If only his friends could be convinced of the same.

“That…sounds like a whole lot of excuses,” Jin Rulan says, rubbing his eyes as well.

“He’s not guilty of any actual crimes, just cool crimes,” Lan Jingyi asserts. Wei Sizhui wants to scream.

“Your dad doesn’t have to be alone anymore!” Ouyang Zizhen says enthusiastically.

“Hey,” Lan Jingyi says. “Don’t be mean, he has Sizhui.”

Wei Sizhui instantly forgives him for everything. Still, he thinks his dad could be perfectly happy without Lan Wangji. Maybe without the Jins after him, and the FBI, but the idea still stands.

“Guys,” Wei Sizhui intervenes, trying to stave off the coming argument, “it doesn’t even matter, because my dad’s not gonna be here on the last day of camp.”

“What? Why not?” Jin Rulan squawks.

“He’s picking me up two days early,” Wei Sizhui explains. “So that he’s not seen by any of the other parents.”

Summer camps care far less about identification than they do about money, which is a bit of a problem because it’s far easier for Wei Sizhui’s dad to forge identities for them than to open a bank account. If there’s one time that someone actually manages to track down his dad, it’ll be through the money he’s spending on Wei Sizhui’s summer camp. So just in case, they’re disappearing two days early.

The plan is for his dad to break into the camp two nights before the end of camp. Wei Sizhui’s been keeping him updated on the best ways to do so.

The three of them are staring at him again.

“The campus security is pretty terrible,” Wei Sizhui adds thoughtfully.

“So…you’re just going to disappear?” Jin Rulan asks blankly. “When were you going to tell us?”

“Tell you?” Wei Sizhui asks, equally blank. “Why would I–that ruins the whole point of sneaking out two days early! We have to ditch everything. Phones, the fake bank account, the passports, everything.”

“But then how would we keep in touch?” Lan Jingyi asks plainly. “How would we text?”

“We wouldn’t?” Wei Sizhui says uncertainly. “We wouldn’t stay in the country after disappearing from a summer camp. I mean, I don’t know where we’re gonna go, but–somewhere. Probably Thailand,” he adds pensively.

There’s complete silence for one stunning moment.

“Wow,” Jin Rulan says flatly. “Is this is how Jingyi’s uncle felt when Sizhui’s dad disappeared?”

“Probably,” Ouyang Zizhen says.

“No, no, we can work with this,” Lan Jingyi declares. “We just need to get my uncle here two days before camp ends.”

“And how are we doing that?” Jin Rulan asks.

“Easy,” Lan Jingyi says cheerfully. “I do something that gets my uncle called down here.”

“So, expelled,” Ouyang Zizhen says, nodding along.

“Wait, what?” Wei Sizhui says, baffled, but nobody’s listening.

“Exactly,” Lan Jingyi says, beaming. “My uncle will forgive me once he learns why I did it!”

“But what is he getting expelled for?” Jin Rulan asks curiously.

Lan Jingyi grins, and a shiver runs down Wei Sizhui’s spine despite the heat of the morning summer sun shining behind him. It's a smile that says there's little he won't do to see Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji reunite. At least Jin Rulan and Ouyang Zizhen also look a little apprehensive.

“Hacking."

[doublel27]

Thank you for this. I’ve seen some interesting takes and been curious after I enjoyed watching my silly disaster queers romp. Especially as going into it, I had seen a lot of Nick deserved better posts and then the instant I actually watched episode one I was like: Nick is wildly unethical and inappropriate and a little bit of a stalker. I mean, Mark is such a cutie pie that he still looks somewhat innocent, but like, Nick is unhinged.

Which is to say, while having not experienced this live in this fandom, I have experienced this in other fan spaces.

I feel like there is…something I have noticed the closer fannish spaces feel to the creators through social media, form parasocial relationships with actors, and the more we lose a space for solid analysis/discourse, the more people have EXPECTATIONS in all capital letters. And sometimes when those are not met, especially if it impinges upon an actor/character a person is very attached to, I feel like it can create a wild response that has nothing to do with the textual reality of what is happening in the text. Especially in a text that’s released in installments which gives people a chance to set new expectations between every part that very well may never be met because that wasn’t where the text was actually going.

I also feel there’s been a loss of nuance over time that has added to this. Particularly around issues that people already have sensitivities with: drug/alcohol abuse, sex/cheating, arguments in a relationship. Which leads to certain characters getting demonized over others. I’ve also seen this in numerous fandoms and it’s really sad.

And like specifically how that has fannish implications around any character that is less than perfect or doesn’t apologize correctly when they mess up or doesn’t have the words to process their problems with partners/friends in therapy speak when some of these characters have never considered therapy.

It’s the mess that allows them to grow and change as characters. And there’s not a right way to grow and fix your problems. These characters from Only Friends could have solved 85% of all of their issues through better communication and boundaries, but they didn’t, because of their own insecurities, hang ups and personal mess.

And that doesn’t mean you have to like them, but at least hate characters for valid reasons.

It’s funny that the two main couples ending up together makes it not queer media when I’ve got so many queer weddings under my belt in western queer media or death, so you know. I prefer this ending in committee relationships.

Only Friends reminded me a lot of Queer as Folk US, and I say that knowing I am a western viewer and that’s probably an oversimplification. But the Boston/Nick relationship reminded me a lot of Brian/Justin, where you have a younger character(Nick feels young) obsessed/stalk a very promiscuous, not interested in relationships man. And the textual treatment of Boston where all of his friends shamed him for his slutty ways and the fannish need to excuse adorable Nick for his stalking crimes, felt very in line with 2000s QaF(US), and when you consider that while the TV landscape was wildly different (2000s us vs current Thai), the political realm for queer people in 2000 US was not super far from current Thailand (marriage equality, trans rights to change birth certificate etc). As does Ray’s crush on Mew remind me very tangentially of Michael’s crush on Brian (different glomming on reasons but glomming on all the same). And both main couples ended up married at the end of the show that was considered the flagship queer show in the US.

All that to say, a show is not just the text of the show but the wider context of the media landscape, the production team, the reference material, the cultural mores (I just watched Perth Nakhun talk about My Engineer and the ways that some things that international fans label toxic are considered normal in Thai culture) and the political and social context. And then on top of that, being able to separate the text from yourself, and not feel that you are owed what you expected.

But that’s a lot of silly rambling to say thank you for answering my ask, even if I didn’t live it with this I have lived it in many others, and allowing me to ramble back at you as I have joined this space in the after. 💜

Okay, now I wanna know more about this tag. It’s been haunting me since this morning (as someone who watched and enjoyed after the fact).

honestly it’s hard to explain if you didn’t experience it, but while the show was airing there were some absolutely BONKERS takes going around to the point it genuinely made me wonder if we were watching the same show. like namely a lot of the out there ones were coming from f*rceb*ok stans, but there were some that persisted from people that were pretty neutral on ships and just tried to come off as being super great at analysis but it was so odd.

like we had people claiming mew and top never played games with each other and that they weren’t toxic at all, people thinking sand was like genuinely still into boeing, people that thought ray blowing up at sand after finding out about the deal with his dad was because he viewed sand as an object, people that thought nick was totally innocent and that boston was the actual devil despite everyone else doing the exact same shit he did in their own ways. also people that said it wasn’t real queer media because sandray and topmew ended up together which was like ?? huh

like there were so many people watching that show just half paying attention or trying to make fanfiction out of the show and calling it canon and it absolutely boggles my mind. like SO MANY people left that show angry/pissed and still hold grudges against and i’m just like. well maybe if you actually took the show for what it was instead of coming up with things that didn’t exist and expecting an outcome based on that it wouldn’t have been so disappointing

[blu-joons]

DATING GOT7 HEADCANON A⇴Z ⇴ BamBam

A ⇴ AFFECTION

BamBam is more than happy to cling to you, he loves any type of attention, and if affection gives it to him, he’ll happily take it. The second you leave him he’ll pout and groan until you’re back with him once again.

B ⇴ BEFORE DATING

He was full of confidence, which quickly pulled your attention towards him at the event you both attended. He tried to play it cool, but he could feel your eyes looking in his direction, enjoying the attention you gave him. Being BamBam, he couldn’t help but push things a little more, but when he tripped over his own leg, he quickly regretted it.

C ⇴ CONFESSION

After his little mishap, he thought it was game over for trying to impress you, but when you appeared in front of him with a drink to check if he was alright, he was beyond surprised. BamBam quickly pulled himself together, shrugging it off as no big deal even if his ankle throbbed. He invited you to sit with him whilst he accepted the drink, and after talking for a while, he asked if you wanted to get out of the place with him.

D ⇴ DATES

There’s never a boring date with BamBam, he loves fun, and loves spoiling you too which creates the perfect conversation. He equally loves active and recreational dates, but also is fond to a nice restaurant where he can show you a different, much calmer side to him. He hates dates at home, he likes getting out and doing things, and exploring with you. You worry sometimes about being out in public so often for your dates, but BamBam is always quick to reassure you and put your mind at ease, putting your safety as his biggest priority.

E ⇴ EXPERIENCE

He’d had a few dates, maybe a couple of passionate nights, but nothing as serious as things were with you. He quite enjoyed being a flirt and having so much attention, but that all changed when he met you. He couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was about you that changed his personality so much, but he loved having a serious relationship. He loved waking up in the morning and still having someone there, or if he was having a hard time, knowing he had someone to talk to. After being with you, he never wanted to go back to being just the flirt again.

F ⇴ FIGHTING

There were times when BamBam could definitely be quite stubborn, but that never meant he liked arguing with you. If things began to get quite serious, he’d try to crack a joke or nervously laugh to brighten up the mood again, but when you didn’t smile back at him, he knew he was in trouble. He was usually a very calm and relaxed person but when you didn’t react and decided to drag out an argument longer than he wanted to then he’d get a bit frustrated, deciding to leave the room for a while and try again once the two of you had had some time apart to try and relax and clear your minds a bit.

G ⇴ GETTING TO KNOW HIS FAMILY

You’d only ever met his family through calls and Skype, which BamBam hated. He couldn’t wait for the day when he could take you home and introduce you to all of his family. Similarly, they couldn’t wait to meet you either, each of them was desperate to be able to hug you in person and thank you for putting up with BamBam.

H ⇴ HOME

He never thought too much about you moving in with him, until after the first night you stayed over. He had butterflies for the rest of the day, the feeling of waking up beside you, and seeing how you both seamlessly settled into a routine around each other was something he definitely felt he could get used to.

I ⇴ “I LOVE YOU”

BamBam was the first one to say, ‘I love you,’ just as he left for tour. He didn’t know when he’d have the chance to see you or speak to you as he moved halfway around the world, and for him, there were no words greater to leave you with than those. The best bit was grabbing his phone when he landed to see you’d text, letting him know you loved him too.

J ⇴ JEALOUSY

No on tried harder to mask their jealousy then BamBam, but as soon as you’d confront him about it and the nervous laugh would appear again, you knew exactly what was happening. He’d slowly move closer towards you when he began to get jealous, little showers of affection would arrive that usually didn’t happen, and he’d talk to you, and only you, as much as possible. Each time he knew he’d get a lecture about how he had no reason to feel jealous when you were alone again, but sometimes he just couldn’t help the feeling.

K ⇴ KIDS

Having children was another subject he tried to remain calm about, but secretly he couldn’t wait for the day when he had little ones around for him to spoil. Whenever you asked him what he was thinking about he’d just say it was nothing but judging by his smile you knew he was thinking about something. Seeing you around children as well always made him smile, he knew there was no one else he wanted to have a family with.

L ⇴ LAUGHTER

He loved to laugh and joke around, there were very few things in the world that BamBam found serious. Knowing that he made you smile, and laugh was the greatest honour for him, it didn’t matter how he did it, just knowing that he was the reason for it was enough. As already mentioned, he hated awkward tension or serious moments, so he’d often use his laughter and humour to try and bring a bit of light back to a situation, even if it wasn’t quite right for the situation, he’d do anything to get rid of the silences and tension.

M ⇴ MISSING

Before his first trip away from you, BamBam was pretty confident he’d be fine considering he’d spent years away from his family now. For the first couple of days, he was fine, but when he fell asleep in his hotel room alone for the first time, having spent the first few nights rooming with Yugyeom, he really began to miss you. The feeling of not having someone there with him through him completely, and then he began to spiral. All the little things that he began to take for granted with you by his side, built up every day. He never realised how much he actually depended on you being around until you were no longer there.

N ⇴ NICKNAMES

You tended to just call BamBam, ‘bam,’ considering he was so fond of his nickname anyway. He loved to call you, ‘princess,’ it would always make you chuckle, and make sure you knew he loved to spoil you.

O ⇴ OBSESSION

He was obsessed with your bum, he loved to lay over it or rest his hands against it when you weren’t expecting it, always making you jump and squeal.

P ⇴ PDA

No one could ever stop BamBam from being affectionate with you in public, he didn’t care at all what others thought. If he wanted to kiss you, he would, or if he wanted to wrap his arm around you, he’d do without a second thought. He wasn’t afraid to show you he loved you, no matter where the two of you were.

Q ⇴ QUESTIONS

He’d love to ask for your opinion on the things he wore and his style. Shopping with BamBam at times was a nightmare, he was very meticulous on the things he wore, spending hours through the aisles, asking your opinion each time.

R ⇴ RANDOM FACTS

Being bilingual, BamBam was able to write in many languages, which often impressed you. In one of the languages that you couldn’t understand, he’d often leave little notes around for you to translate. It was a habit he often had when he was going on tour, scattering little notes around to remind you he loved you. He especially loved when you got the translations wrong and he’d have to sit and explain to you what it actually said.

S ⇴ SEX

He loved to try and dominate as he saw it as an opportunity to show off in front of you. Especially with how much his body has changed recently, he loves to impress you with his strength and move you around by lifting you high in the air. He craves a lot of attention, he wants to be able to feel your hands explore his body and feel your lips trace across his skin, just like he always does with you.

T ⇴ TEXTS

You’d receive many texts throughout the day from BamBam if you were busy. If he was at home alone, he’d ask you to come over, and beg you to finish your day at work sooner so that he could see you and cuddle you.

U ⇴ UNIVERSE

He was very much a people person, who had plenty of friends, but out of all of them, every time, he’d choose you. No one connected with him like you did or understood all his quirks the way you’d learnt to.

V ⇴ VACATION

The minute BamBam had the chance to go on vacation, he was desperate to take you home. Weeks of planning had gone into your vacation to Thailand, both from him, but also his family. He promised you the adventure of a lifetime as he showed you all the places that meant the most to him, being able to make new memories with you.

W ⇴ WHINING

He loved attention, if he didn’t have your attention, he’d do absolutely anything to make sure he had it, he didn’t have any boundaries.

X ⇴ XXXXX

Again, he was very affectionate and clingy, and his kisses were no different. Luckily for him, you were absolutely obsessed with his lips and how they felt against your skin. Bambam’s kisses were often playful and teasing, inviting you for more, but he also knew when to give you something a bit more loving, especially if you’d had a bad day or you were beginning to fall asleep.

Y ⇴ YOU

You were the Pebbles to his BamBam, the two of you were the perfect match.

Z ⇴ ZZZ

He sought great comfort from having you there beside him at night, he’d always like to have some sort of contact with you, even if it was just being able to hold your hand under the duvet, he’d take anything he could get.

---

Masterlist

[woman-loving]

I’ve been reading some articles about lesbian identities in Indonesia, from the late 80s to the 00s, and wanted to share some quotes that highlighted a couple trends that I’ve also noticed in reading about butch/femme communities in other countries.

1) There are different expectations about sexual distinctiveness and marriage to men are attached to butch and femme identities. There is a greater expectation that femmes will marry men, and femmes more often do marry men, though some butches do as well. Marriages to men seem to be for convenience or in name only, and women may continue to have female lovers.

2) Distinctions are made between real/pure/positive lesbians (butches) and other lesbians (femmes) who are “potentially normal.” This shows the flexibility of lesbian identity, where they can be gradations and contradictions in what it means to be a lesbian (e.g. a woman being a lesbian but not a “real lesbian"). The category has cores and peripheries, rather than everyone being equally lesbian or else completely outside of it.

3) There are disagreements between members, which cross butch/femme lines, about the meanings of these identities and whose lesbianism or community involvement should be taken seriously. The first passage describes femmes as engaging in a “more active appropriation of lesbianism as a core element of their subjectivity.” The boundaries of lesbianism can potentially expand or contract as people struggle to define it.

4) People don’t always meet the community expectations attached to their identity.

I think these passages help complicate the picture of what lesbian identities can look like, and some of these same tensions and debates are common features of lesbian identity in many different cultures. I also think these issues--the (differential) weight given to relationships with men, the notion of positive versus negative lesbians, and the active appropriation of lesbianism by peripheral members--are relevant to bisexual interest, since these questions also shape bi women’s engagement in lesbianism/lesbian communities. (And we can say that without claiming that any particular women in these narratives are “really bisexual.”)

Anyway, without further ado... (this first one picks up right in the middle of a passage because I couldn’t get the previous page on the google preview :T)

From “Desiring Bodies or Defiant Cultures: Butch-Femme Lesbians in Jakarta and Lima,” by Saskia E. Wieringa, in Female Desires: Same-Sex Relations and Transgender Practices Across Cultures, eds. Evelyn Blackwood and Saskia E. Wieringa, 1999:

“[...]negative lesbians. We are positive lesbians. We are pure, 100% lesbian. With them you can never know. Before you know it, they are seeing a man again, and we are given the good-bye.”

Father Abraham, who had entered during her last words, took over. “Let me explain. … Take Koes. Again and again her girlfriends leave her. Soon she’ll be old and lonely. Who will help her then? For these girls it is just an adventure, while for butches like Koes it is their whole life.”“Yes, well, Abraham, … my experience is limited, of course, but it seems to me that the femmes flee the same problems that make life so hard for the butches. So they’d rather support each other.”

“In any case,” Sigit added, ‘they have become active now, that’s why they’re here, isn’t that so?” And she looked questioningly at the three dolls behind the typing machine, Roekmi and my neighbour. The most brazen femme had been nodding in a mocking manner while Sigit and I were talking.

“So we’re only supposed to be wives? We’re not suited for something serious, are we? Maybe we should set up a wives’ organization, Dharma Wanita,[23] the Dharma Wanita PERLESIN? Just like all those other organizations of the wives of civil servants and lawyers?” …

“Come on, Ari,” Sigit insisted, “why don’t you just ask them? You could at least ask them whether they want to join?” Ari found it extremely hard. Helplessly she looked at the other butches.

“Do you really mean that i should ask whether our wives would like to join / our / organization?” One of the butches nodded.

“Ok, fine.” She directed herself to the dolls.

“Well, what do you want? Do you want to join us? But in that case you shouldn’t just say yes, then you should also be involved with your whole heart.”

“You never asked that of the others,” the brazen femme pointed out, “but yes, I will definitely dedicate myself to the organization.” Roekmi and the two femmes at her side also nodded. (Wieringa 1987:89-91)

The above example is indicative of the social marginalization of the b/f community. it also captures in it one of its moments of transformation. The defiance of the femmes of the code that prescribes the division of butches and femmes into “positive” and “negative” lesbians respectively indicates a more active appropriation of lesbianism as a core element of their subjectivity. At the same time it illustrates the hegemony of the dominant heterosexual culture with its gendered principles of organization.

Yet, however much the butches conformed to male gender behavior they didn’t define themselves as male; their relation to their bodies was rather ambiguous. at times they defined themselves as a third sex, which is nonfemale[…]. [...] [Butches’] call for organization was not linked to a feminist protest against rigid gender norms. Rather they felt that nature had played a trick on them and they they had to devise ways to confront the dangers to which this situation gave rise. Jakarta’s b/f lesbians when I met them in the early eighties were not in the least interested in feminism. In fact, the butches among them were more concerned with the case of a friend of them who was undergoing a sex change operation. They clearly considered it an option, but none of them decided to follow this example. When I asked them why, all of them mentioned the health risks involved and the costs. None of them stated that they rather preferred their own bodies. Their bodies, although the source of sexual pleasure and as such the object of constant attention, didn’t make it any too easy for them to get the satisfaction they sought or, at least, to attract the partners they desired.

From "Let Them Take Ecstasy: Class and Jakarta Lesbians," by Alison J. Murray, in Female Desires: Same-Sex Relations and Transgender Practices Across Cultures, eds. Evelyn Blackwood and Saskia E. Wieringa, 1999:

Covert lesbian activities are thus an adaptation to the ideological context, where the distinction between hidden and exposed sexual behavior allows for fluidity in sexual relations (“everyone could be said to be bisexual” according to Oetomo 1995) as long as the primary presentation is heterosexual/monogamous. It is not lesbian activity that has been imported from the West, but the word lesbi used to label the Western concept of individual identity based on a fixed sexuality. I have not found that Indonesian women like to use the label to describe themselves, since it is connected to unpleasant stereotypes and the pathological view of deviance derived from Freudian psychology (cf Foucault 1978).

The concept of butch-femme also has a different meaning in Indonesia from the current Western use which implies a subversion of norms and playful use of roles and styles (cf Nestle 1992). In Indonesia (and other parts of Southeast Asia, such as the Philippines, Thailand’s tom-and-dee: Chetame 1995) the roles are quite strictly, or restrictively, defined and are related to popular, pseudo-psychological explanations of the “real” lesbian. In the simple terms of popular magazines, the butch (sentul) is more than 50% lesbian, or incurably lesbi, while the femme (kantil) is less than 50% lesbian, or potentially normal. Blackwood’s (1994) description of her secretive relationship with a butch-identified woman in Sumatra brings up some cross-cultural differences and difficulties that they experienced and could not speak about publicly. The Sumatran woman adopted masculine signifies and would not be touched sexually herself; she wanted to be called “pa” by Blackwood, who she expected to behave as a “good wife.” Meanwhile, Blackwood’s own beliefs, as well as her higher status due to class and ethnicity, made it hard to take on the passive female role.

I want to emphasize here that behavior needs to be conceptually separated from identity, as both are contextually specific and constrained by opportunity. It is common for young women socialized into a rigid heterosexual regime, in Asia or the West, to experience their sexual feelings in terms of gender confusion: “If I am attracted to women, then I must be a man trapped in a woman’s body.” Women are not socialized to seek out a sexual partner (of any kind), or to be sexual at all, so an internal “feeling” may never be expressed unless there are role models or opportunities available. If the butch-femme stereotype, as presented in the Indonesian popular media, is the only image of lesbians available outside the metropolis (e.g., in Sumatra), then this may affect how women express their feelings. However, urban lower-class lesbians engage in a range of styles and practices: some use butch style consciously to earn peer respect, while others reject the butch as out-dated. The stereotype of all lower-class lesbians whether following butch-femme roles or conforming to one subcultural pattern is far from the case and reflects the media and elite’s lack of real knowledge about street life. […]

The imagery of sickness creates powerful stigmatization and internalized homophobia: women may refer to themselves as sakit (sick). An ex-lover of mine in Jakarta is quite happy to state a preference for women while at the same time expressing disgust at the word lesbi and at the sight of a butch dyke; however, I have generally found that the stigma around lesbian labels and symbols is not translated into discrimination against individuals based on their sexual activities. I have been surprised to discover how many women in Jakarta will either admit to having sex with women or to being interested in it, but again, this is only rarely accompanied by an open lesbian (or bisexual) identity. I have found it hard to avoid the word “lesbian” to refer to female-to-female sexual relations, but it should not be taken to imply a permanent self-identity. It is very important to try and understand the social contexts of behavior, in order to avoid drawing conclusions based on inappropriate Western notions of lesbian identity, community, or “queer” culture.

From “Beyond the ‘Closet’: The Voices of Lesbian Women in Yogyakarta,” by Tracy L Wright Webster, 2004:

Most importantly a supportive community group of lesbian, bisexual and transgender women is essential, given that these sexualities are thrust together in Sektor 15. Potentially, a group comprised of women from each of these categories, that is lesbian, bisexual or transgender, may prove problematic to say the least, given that the needs and issues of each group are different. Clearly the informal communities already in existence in Yogya are indicators of this. Any formal or organized groupings would certainly benefit by modeling on current, though informal organisations. In the lesbian network, transgendered women (those who wish to become men or who consider themselves male) are not affiliated, however many ‘femme’ identified women who have been and intend to be involved in heterosexual relationships in the future, are among the group in partnership with their ‘butch’ pacar (Indo: girlfriend/boyfiend/lover).

Organisations of women questioning sexuality have existed in Yogya in the past. A butch identified respondent said she was involved in the formation of a lesbian, bisexual and transgender network in collaboration with another Indonesian woman, who also identified as butch, 20 years her senior. The group was called Opo (Javanese:what) or Opo We (Jav:whatever), the name highlighting that any issue could be discussed or entered into within the group. Members were an amalgam of both of the women’s friends and acquaintances. The underlying philosophy of the group was that “regardless of a woman’s life experience, marriage, children…it is her basic human right to live as a lesbian if she has the sexual inclination”. The elder founding member of this group, now 46, married a man and had a child. She now lives with her husband (in name only), child and female partner in the same home. Although this arrangement according to the interviewee “is rare… because the husband is there, she is spared the questions from the neighbours”. Here I must add that it is common in Java for lesbians to marry to fulfill their social role as mothers, and then to separate from their husbands to live their lives in partnership with a woman. This trend however is more common among the ‘femme’ group.

From "(Re)articulations: gender and same-sex subjectivities in Yogyakarta, Indonesia," by Tracy Wright Webster, in Intersections: Gender and Sexuality in Asia and the Pacific, Issue 18, Oct 2008:

Lesbi subjectivities Since gender, for the most part, determines sexuality in Java, sexuality and gender cannot be analysed as discrete categories.[64] For all of the self-identified butchi participants, lesbi was the term used to describe their sexuality. This is contrary to the findings of two key researchers of female same-sex sexuality in Indonesia. Alison Murray's research in Jakarta in the 1980s suggests that females of same-sex attraction did not like the term 'lesbian'[65] due to its connection with 'unpleasant stereotypes' and deviant pathologies.[66] In 1995, Gayatri found that media representations depicting lesbi as males trapped in female bodies encouraged same-sex attracted women to seek new, contemporary descriptors.[67] The participants in this research, however, embraced the term lesbi as an all-encompassing descriptor of female same-sex attraction and as Boellstorff has noted in 2000, Indonesian lesbi tend to see themselves as part of a wider international lesbian network.[68]

The term lesbi has been used in Indonesia since the 1980s, although not commonly or consistently. Lines, les, lesbian, lesbo, lesbong and L, among others, are also used. Female same-sex/lesbi subjectivities in Yogya are not strongly associated with political motivations and the subversion of heteropatriarchy as they were among the Western lesbian feminists of the 1960s. By the time most of the participants in this research were born, the term lesbi had already become infused in Indonesian discourses of sexuality among the urban elite (though with negative connotations in most cases), and has since become commonly used both by females of same-sex attraction to describe themselves, and by others. Most learnt from peers at school and through reading Indonesian magazines.

However, public use of the term lesbi and expression of lesbi subjectivity has its risks. Murray's research on middle to upper class lesbians suggests that females identifying as lesbi have more to lose than lower class lesbi in terms of social position and the power invested in that class positioning. This is particularly in relation to their position in the family.[69] Conversely, her work also shows that lower class lesbi 'have the freedom to play without closing off their options.'[70] As Aji suggests, young females, particularly of the priyayi class may not be in a position to resist the social stigma attached to lesbianism and the possible consequences of rejection or abuse. Yusi faced this reality despite the fact that s/he had not declared herself lesbi. Hir gendered subjectivity meant that s/he did not conform to stereotypical feminine ideals and desires.

With so much at stake, many lesbi remain invisible. Heteronormative and feminine gendered expectations for females in part explain why lesbians may indeed be the 'least known population group in Indonesia.'[71] Collusion in invisibility can be seen here as a protective strategy. The lesbi community or keluarga (family) is what Murray refers to as a 'strategic community' of the lesbian subculture.[72] The strategic nature of the community lies in its sense of protection: the community provides a safe haven for disclosure. Invisibility, however, also arises through the factors I mentioned earlier: the normative feminine representations of femme, their tendency to express lesbi subjectivity only while in partnership with a butchi, and their tendency to marry. Invisibility, as a form of discretion, however, may also be chosen.

Gender complementary butchi/femme subjectivities [...] Due to the apparently fixed nature of butchi identities and subjectivities and their reluctance to sleep with males, they are seen as 'true lesbians,'[79] lesbian sejati, an image perpetuated through the media.[80] Similar to the butchi/femme communities in Jakarta, in Yogya, butchi are identified by their strict codes of dress and behaviour which include short hair, sometimes slicked back with gel, collared button up shirts and trousers bought in menswear stores, large-faced watches and bold rings. Butchi characteristically walk with a swagger and smoke in public places. In her research in the 1980s, Wieringa noticed that within lesbi communities in Jakarta the strict 'surveillance and socialisation 'may have contributed to the fixed nature of butchi identities.[81] In Yogya, this is particularly evident in the socialisation of younger lesbi by senior lesbi (a theme I explore elsewhere in my current research).

The participants held individual perspectives on butchness. Aji's butchness is premised on hir masculine gender subjectivity and desire for a partner of complementary gender. Yusi expresses hir butchness differently and relates it to dominance in the relationship and in sex play. The participants who told of the sexual roles within the relationship emphasised their active butchi roles during sex. As Wieringa suggests, this does not necessarily imply femme passivity as femme 'stress their erotic power over their butches.'[82] It does, however, indicate one way in which the butchi I interviewed articulate their sexual agency.

Femme subjectivities, on the other hand, are generally conceived of as transient. As many of the interviews illustrate, femme are expected by their butchi partners to marry and have children: butchi see them as bisexual. In public, and indeed if they marry, they are seen as heterosexual, though their heterosexual practice may not be exclusive. In the 1980s, Wieringa observed that femme 'dressed in an exaggerated fashion, in dresses with ribbons and frills...always wore make up and high heels.'[83] In the new millennium, the femme I met were also fashion savvy though not in an exaggerated sense. Generally they wore hip-hugging, breast-accentuating tight gear, had long hair and wore lipstick and low-heeled pumps. Their feminine representations were stereotypical: it was through association with butchi with in the lesbi community that femme subjectivities become visible.